Watch What Crappens - #2449 RHOBH S05E16 Part 2: Amster-Damn Rewind - Live in London!

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

This is part 2 of our London show!To kick off our European tour, we revisited one of the most epic European housewives trips: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in Amsterdam. You beast! Tha...nk you to our amazing audience in London! Don’t forget to check out our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:02:01 app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for NBAStore.ca when you sign up with the promo code COHO75. That's code K-O-H-O-75. Who cares what happens when this so much that happens? Who cares what happens when this so much that happens? Who cares what happens when this so much that happens? and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. You guys, that was our first intermission we've ever done.
Starting point is 00:03:18 We're like, do we just walk out? What do we do? Yeah, that was so hard sitting down and having chocolate. We were like, how do you feel? I don't know. How do you feel? I don't know. How the fuck do you feel about it? It's like, maybe we should cancel this. Let's just pretend it didn't record. We'll never work again. You can't let me sit down, okay? I start spinning the fuck out of control.
Starting point is 00:03:47 One thing we were talking about back there, though, we are so grateful, not only to you guys, for being here. You guys are so good. We didn't know it was like that. You guys have been an amazing audience. Amazing audience so far. Thank you for letting us steal what territory should be yours, let's be honest. That was kind of you.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Also, thank you for what you do with your children here. You guys have some of the sweetest children I've ever seen. They're not like the movies where they're like pushing, I thought it was gonna be like, hey mister, boom! Like pickpocket and like run down the street. Like all chimney sweeps? Yeah, like all of her twist little fuckers, you know? But no, everyone's so sweet.
Starting point is 00:04:23 I went to see Harry Potter the other day. Cause I'm cultured, so I was in the West End. The West End is the best end! Because of course I was. Is anybody shocked? I heard no shock in the audience. I was at Harry Potter, and there was a part where Hermione, by the way, Hermione's a grouchy bitch.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Can we just say it? Hermione! Did I say it wrong? Do not mispronounce names of Harry Potter in England. Here's the problem. I read that shit before it was a movie. Nobody told me. I've never heard that shit before. I used to say Hermione for years, and then the movie came out and I was like, they're
Starting point is 00:05:02 saying it wrong. Like, I still hear it and I'm like,'m like that's wrong anyway that character in the play is like kind of an asshole because they're all adults now you know and so she's very stern and she's like Harry Potter I need you to believe in magic again I am and she's like yeah you know Harry the what fool spoiler and by the way Harry has a big bubble butt now. He grew in. Harry, whatever magic he was doing squats.
Starting point is 00:05:29 That ass is like a melon now. It's huge. So anyway, they were like fighting. And then the kid behind me went, oh mother, isn't it just awful? The best shit I ever heard. Because I feel like in America the kid would be like, fuck you, Hermione. He like, bubba bubba, oh bitch. I know everyone has been like, everyone in Europe is just so like sweet and nice. Like, you know me, I don't like children at all.
Starting point is 00:06:00 And we were in Sweden, we went to these like gardens and these little Swedish children ran up to a plant and went, oh la la. They were just little angels. I mean in America the equivalent is holy fuck that's fucking flower. You are three years old sir. Put the cigarette down please. Yeah it was wild. But yeah we're having a great time in London so far I have to say and I'm already ready to book my flight back okay. I'm just right now. Next summer I'm coming back. So when we come back Yolanda is trying they're all trying to figure out, you know, the disaster. It's the next morning.
Starting point is 00:06:47 All the victimhood that they've been through. And Yolanda's like, at the end of the day you'll get nothing for nothing. I can't believe I must be at the end of the day part of this recount. It's extremely empowering, you guys. Les Mis is still alive here, so. I know, I've literally walked by the Les Mis theater five times. Every time I try to walk in a different direction,
Starting point is 00:07:08 I wind up at Les Mis. We're always back there. Every single time. Every single time, I'm at Les Mis here. Yeah. So, it's the next morning after. I'm my own. Pretending he's inside me.
Starting point is 00:07:21 I am inside you. I love my own. Kim. How dare you? Inside me I love you Kim How dare you? He's trying to have a solo. How dare you? Kim! That man tried to steal some bread. How rude! Two, four, six, oh one. That's how many IMDB credits I have! So Yolanda's like, so here's the thing,
Starting point is 00:07:45 how are we supposed to keep this week going, girls? How are we supposed to keep it going? And Kim's like, I just had my throat almost ripped off and a glass of wine broken all over me. She's like, but how are you gonna make this better, Kim? That's the question. So, you know, I think what's interesting is watching these episodes back, we can really see how these shows have changed over the years,
Starting point is 00:08:11 because if this had happened now in 2024, this would have been teased out, like, Rinna and Kim for five episodes. There would have been silly graphics. There would have been all sorts of stuff. But all of a sudden, it's's the next morning and it's like I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I can't even start the scene yet. I'm just I've suffered so much trauma So much trauma it's like I've been in a war war. I woke up in the fetal position today. So much trauma.
Starting point is 00:08:46 I just can't. I can't. I will never speak to Kim Richards again. I will never, ever, ever forgive Kim Richards again. Ever. Hi, it's me, Kim Richards at your door. Can you talk? Can you talk?
Starting point is 00:08:59 Hi. Hi. Sit on my lap. Can we sit down? Can we sit down? Can we sit down? Sit down. All right. Can we sit down? Sit down, hi. Sit on my lap. Can we sit down? Sit down. Can we sit down? Sit down, Kim. Can we sit down? Sit down.
Starting point is 00:09:07 All right, can we sit down? Sit down, Kim. All right, all right, all right. Okay, this has just gone completely crazy, all right? So crazy, Kim. Lisa, you know, you're having concern for me about like, I would have respected you more if you'd just come to me and I would have said,
Starting point is 00:09:21 fuck you, bitch, I'm sober. Kim, I understand that. I do. I love you so much, Kim. Kim, I'm literally obsessed with you now. Can I have your autograph? Kim Richards, you are such a star. You are such a glowing star.
Starting point is 00:09:42 If you were an alcoholic, you know who would be lucky? Alcoholism. Alcoholism would be lucky to If you were an alcoholic, you know who would be lucky? I'm not. Alcoholism. Alcoholism would be lucky to have you in their ranks, Kim. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not an alcoholic. And the most important thing in my life is sobriety.
Starting point is 00:09:56 And that's where my children get hurt. And that's where it's bad. So when it's like, that was never my intention. I mean, it was. It was my intention. But you don't have to know that. I never wanted to hurt you or your children. I just wanted everybody to just laugh and make fun of you and call you an alcoholic and push you down in hallways. I just wanted to give you a chance to go on to Dr. Phil.
Starting point is 00:10:22 That's all. Do you guys have Dr. Phil here. Do you guys have Dr. Phil here? Do you guys have Dr. Phil? Okay, I just wanted to make sure. Did you watch her on the way? No, I was asking if Dr. Phil was ever shown in England. To which I say I'm so sorry again, I'm so sorry. Dr. Phil, don't start.
Starting point is 00:10:40 So Rinna's basically like, Kim, you really pissed me off, and I've just got to say that. That was really low last night. What happened? That was crazy. You made me so mad, Kim. I was so mad. Kim, do you remember how mad I was? That was crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:53 I broke a glass. Good scene, Kim. Good scene. Good scene. You know, last night, you know what happened? I protected myself. I protected myself with a rose glass. It was basically fencing. It was fencing. But with rose, I got the big bad monster, the big bad wine breath cigarette smelling monster off of me.
Starting point is 00:11:14 That was you, Kim. But today I looked under my bed and there you were, Kim Richards. Snoring with a bottle of wine in your hand, a cigarette dangling out of your mouth, mumbling, Emilio, Emilio, and in the light of day you were just so cute. Kim, we're sisters now. We're basically... What the fuck is happening on this show? Two seconds ago she was like, I will never speak to that. Kim, I love you. I'm so in love with you, Kim. Da da da da, here come the brides. Who wants to be the, well let's just both be brides. Ha ha ha ha ha. We're married, just married, me and Kim Richards.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Ha ha ha ha ha. I just, Kim, I just feel like we had talked in Eileen's kitchen and you had really opened up and we see a flashback of what this actually was and it's Rinna talking to Kim in the kitchen going, you can get help. You can go to rehab. They can help you there. And then Kim just goes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Am I right? Am I right? How can you tell when your helpful advice to go to rehab isn't working? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Bum Makeovers, Beverly Hills Bum Makeovers. And it was these three sisters,
Starting point is 00:12:51 this is not a lie by the way, these three sisters shot a pilot where they were gonna do makeovers for what were called back then bums. You're not allowed to say that now. But they would drive around and they would find the unhomed and they would lecture them and buy them scarves. And that was the thing. And Kim also had a scarf thing
Starting point is 00:13:11 at that time. You know how she's in her scarf? I think she's trying to protect her turkey neck. At this point, that's what I think is happening. But she would wear a scarf and she'd show up and she sat with this unhomed lady and she's like, you don't like this right? It means you're outside. That's not fun right? And the lady's like, get a job. That's what you should do. You should just get a job. Everything's gonna be great. She like lectured this lady. It was the most horrifying thing ever. All of that just to say that I do not feel bad watching this scene because Lisa and all those years later being like, Kim, do you know what alcoholism is? Just stop drinking, Kim. Go to a meeting. It's easy. I was like, Kim, you earned this on that park bench. I saw your ass on the YouTube.
Starting point is 00:13:54 I actually saw bum makeovers. It was the Tom Tandoval Redemption arc on Vanderpump Rules. That's why he wears scarves now. Dude! Dude! How you see that about me, Christina? Man, people really are still so worked up over Scandamall. Love the Scandamall. Dude! Are you guys pro Ariana people or pro like... Obviously. That's good because you look at the internet and I'm like yikes these
Starting point is 00:14:35 people are so mad. She deserved what she fucking got. Fuck that bitch. What'd she do? Like literally. Dude she hadn't even touched me in like three weeks. It was awful man. All she does is watch Love Island UK without me man. Ariana's like whatever, I stood up to my perpetrators. Bitch. They opened their sandwich shop this week which was cool. Yeah. Yeah. It literally looks like the inside of Fortnum & Mason,
Starting point is 00:15:10 which we went to, by the way. We had tea. Wait, was that a cheer or a jeer? I couldn't tell. Everyone's like, hey, hey, hey, hey. They're like, we applaud you for partaking in high tea, but we're embarrassed that you got high tea at Fortnum & Mason. I thought my tea tasted like fish. And then Ben was like, no, that's not
Starting point is 00:15:32 fish. But then our other friend was like, that is fish. And I was like, why is it fish tea? That's weird. Is that like an English thing? And then so I was like, Hey, sir, may I'm so sorry, but may I change my tea? And I was about to go into the, it smells like fish. And I don't understand why I really, I don't mind my tea? And I was about to go into the, it smells like fish and I don't understand why. I really, I don't mind fish. I just don't want to drink fish. He didn't even let me do my whole American monologue. Like, don't you guys reserve the right
Starting point is 00:15:53 to give a monologue when you don't like something? Like, that shit's $85. You're gonna listen to me give a fucking monologue, sir. But he's like, I know, which would you prefer? With his fake bougie ass accent. I was like, stop with that. I know, which would you prefer? With his fake, bougie ass accent. I was like, stop with that. I know that that's not real. But he's like, sir, what house may I get you?
Starting point is 00:16:11 I'm like, Bill. Hmm? If I had my choice, I'd have three Gorgas on a tray. But he brought me mine and he didn't even ask a question. I was like, now that is service. I know. That place was magical. I felt literally like I was Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2, walking into department store.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I was like, I was expecting the music to be like, there's like lemon biscuits floating in the air, a man in a top hat serving tea. I was like, wow. Well, it should be magical. It was 85 fucking dollars. I wanted them to come out and saw my ass in half. Give me some fucking egg salad on some white bread. You better work, fake accent.
Starting point is 00:16:58 By the way, also on there- I'm like, do Brenda Bledin now. Do it. Do it. I'm just requesting shit for the waiters. I'm Tim Nassar. I'm just requesting shit for the waiter. I'm terribly sorry. I don't know who you are. Would you like a third tier of cake, dear?
Starting point is 00:17:11 I'm not your mother. You must be terribly mistaken. Oh no, I just remembered. I am your mother. All I've ever wanted was to serve you a decent egg salad, dear. Oh. Oh. Oh. All I've ever wanted was to serve you a decent egg salad, dear. You know, this country gives us secrets and lies,
Starting point is 00:17:34 and we give back stupid Americans at Fortnum & Mason wearing giant hats trying to be British. It's just embarrassing. We enjoyed ourselves. We had the best time. At least we got used out of those hats. Yeah. So let's see. So Rinna's like, but I thought you really wanted help. And Kim's like, I thought you said I'm here for you
Starting point is 00:17:53 and I thought you meant as a friend, which is why I asked you for a bump. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So Rinna's like, you know what, Kim? I'm sorry I didn't come to you. Thank you. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry because you know what, I was really coming from a good place, the sort of good place that looks like someone outing your drug use on national television. That's all.
Starting point is 00:18:23 It's fun, isn't it? Obvious mysteries with Lisa Rinna. Kyle slightly cross-eyed. Solved another one! Inside hotel hallway. LVP Kyle and Eileen are walking to the lobby and LVP is like, oh my god I couldn't sleep all night. My brain was just going round and round from all the trauma. I thought, what if I had a restaurant? A restaurant with a chandelier big enough to saddle up and ride it like the man it is. Back and forth, back and forth.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I shall name this restaurant, Planting One on Nicolayne. It just doesn't really have a ring to it. P-O-N-I. Pina. Piona. I'll work on that. I'll workshop that. Go ahead, Ben. So, Rinna walks in. They're all gathering. And Lisa's like, oh, look at you. You have a smile on your face. Yeah, I had a really good talk with Kim. Oh, really? Did you two work things out?
Starting point is 00:19:24 I mean, it's kind of a big thing. Did she ever apologize for calling me beast? Well, you know, we came to an understanding. Pretty much like the end of a war. You think it's gonna go on forever and it's just like, no, war's over. We're all friends, right? We can just all use the same showers now.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Sorry, Vietnam. You won though, what are you so mad about? I mean, it'm just mind-blowing. Especially for Lisa. I mean, for all of a sudden for her to be okay when the word beast was used. It's just horrifying, really. My brain just can't compute that. Someone called me beast. this woman who's my friend isn't upset. I just, it's just so rude. Alright everyone, today we're gonna do some bike riding around windmills. It's time to show poor people what rich people look like.
Starting point is 00:20:17 So who's ready? Kyle's like, my life would just be so much easier because Kim's my sister. I just rushed under the carpet and forgot it happened, but I just can't. What happened last night is just too intense. It just hurt too much. It was just too much trauma. I can't be in the middle anymore, Kim. I just can't be in the middle anymore.
Starting point is 00:20:37 So they get outside and she's like, today I'm excited to take them to... That's where I was born and became beautiful. Happened at the same time. I guess I'm just a little girl at heart. A little girl who grew up beautifully with beautiful daughter and another two. I'm proud of where I came from even though I'll never admit I ever kissed anyone from there. They made me into what I am today. Just kidding, it was my jeans. They did nothing.
Starting point is 00:21:06 I don't even know who these people are. Yolanda's basic ass town tour is my favorite. Welcome. Welcome to the town that brought you Yoli. That's what they called me maybe. I don't remember really. But here we are, bicycles. Gross, right? She also... It is a shop. Oh Oh wait. Hold on. Look there a doctor That is so Dutch She literally goes oh you see all this land that is so Dutch Have you ever seen a tree before hashtag Dutch Yes That right there is the first place I bought bra. Right there.
Starting point is 00:21:51 And Kyle's like, wow, it's like we're like going down memory lane. Yes. Literally. Yes. Look at all those little houses there. Or as the people here saying, houses. Look at all those little houses there. Or as the people here are saying, houses. They don't look different. So Dutch. So Dutch. So Dutch. Here, you know, we put wall, we have a thing you open like a window with a knob.
Starting point is 00:22:19 You push. There's a roof on. We call it roof, and the rain doesn't come in. So Dutch. Very Dutch. So Dutch. So Dutch. I love it. Okay, let's go get on our Dutch cycle.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I'm on a bike! Wow! Last time I rode a bike, it was named Harry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We're definitely having sex. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wow. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's just tap dancing.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Look at me, I'm Eileen Davidson, television soap star on a bicycle, carefree. Ah, oh, there was a bump! How dare it! These people don't know how to make a road. So they go to a windmill and Jolanda's like, this is a windmill. And now we knock, very Dutch.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Everyone be careful, there's a poor person inside, he may come out very quickly. He has no children who are super models, I know it is terrible. Just try to be nice. Hey, I didn't want it ease. Let me give everybody some advice. Do not try to hug the windmill.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Do not try to hug the windmill. Kim, you're holding on to the windmill. Oh, there she goes. Ah! There she goes. Okay, don't let go. Let go at the bottom, no. Kim, you're holding on to the windmill. Oh, there she goes. Ah! There she goes. Okay, don't let go. Love me. Let go at the bottom, Kim. Love me.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Oh, she's at the top again. Okay. Oh, God. Kim, let go, Kim. Let go of the windmill. Oh, okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. She's hanging on with her legs. How does she do that?
Starting point is 00:24:01 She has such strong thighs. Oh, she hit her head. Such a simple, quiet life it is. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us.
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Starting point is 00:25:05 You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Peyton, it's happening. You're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All time.
Starting point is 00:25:23 So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions. If you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure. Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Mother. A mother to many. Follow, let me say this, on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd, or you can listen ad free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcast. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon,
Starting point is 00:26:18 were exposed as frauds, but none of this was their idea. So whose idea was it? Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist. Two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers.
Starting point is 00:26:39 The only problem? They couldn't sing. But Frank knew just how to fix that. Wondery's new podcast, Blame It On The Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Milli Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder,
Starting point is 00:27:01 why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Milli Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So Yolanda knocks on the door of this windmill and Kyle goes, people live here? Yes, it's the one place left in the world that the agency is not covering. Mauricio shows up, welcome to the agency, we are now selling windmills,
Starting point is 00:27:39 selling windmills, if you like to live in a windmill. It's like we have a roof, it goes around and around, and no central air, no bathroom, no room really, just a foyer and a windmill. So it's really wonderful. So... upsetting. Devastating. Windmill guy is like, hello. She's like, I'm Yolanda. Hi. He is like, hello. She's like, I'm Yolanda.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Hi. He's like, hello. Hello, hello. Hello, hold on. What we are doing right now is so Dutch. You say, hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Corner. Hello. Hello.
Starting point is 00:28:33 It's like, I'm getting hit by the windmill. I'm back. I'm back. So he's like, oh, I remember you, Yolanda, Yoli, from way back when? And she's like, she's like, from school, from Pauperdeck, oh, from the dumpster behind the high school. Remember? I'm sorry, dumpster behind the...
Starting point is 00:28:54 Remember we tied ourself to the windmill and did it in 360 degree rotation? No, no. No. You must have me confused for some other deeply beautiful woman. No, I, no. You must have me confused for some other deeply beautiful woman. No, I'm pretty sure. We were on top of a windmill.
Starting point is 00:29:11 You put one part of my zipper on the part of the windmill and by the end it had unzipped me and my pants fell down. When I flopped out you said, this is so Dutch. No, don't. remember, it was a dark night in the summer and you said do me like a stroopwafel? No, no, no, no recollection. I remember at the top of the windmill you said, I hope one day to have a beautiful daughter and something else. I believe you said dot dot dot after.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Wait a second, it's coming back to me. How many platinum albums do you have? Zero? Oh, never mind. I'm thinking of another strange old man. So she's like, oh, I'm going to blame it on the brain damage. Well, isn't that convenient? I have very specific brain damage, the kind that makes you forget homely people in Holland
Starting point is 00:30:20 that you hooked up with once. I have rich people lime. It erases all the poor. I almost died one day because I didn't even see the bus. Completely erased. So Dutch. Brain damage is so Dutch. So they all take pictures blah blah blah. Peter's like got a boner in his pants. Like, Peter! Put it away, Peter. He's like, I know. He remembers you too.
Starting point is 00:30:48 No, poor. No. She's like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow, this windmill, am I right? Huh? Grab the boner.
Starting point is 00:30:59 All right. So now they're riding bikes more. And every woman there is like, oh my god, it's like sexual stimulation. I haven't had sexual stimulation like this since it was Ken's birthday in 1963. And don't worry, it wasn't from Ken. Ricardo Montalban happened to show up to play the bongos that evening. Get it!
Starting point is 00:31:23 Everyone, welcome to my mammy's home. Get it! Everyone, welcome to my mammy's home. We have now arrived at my mammy's home. It's so Dutch. It's an apartment building. Do you have those outside of Netherlands? No? Okay. And we see Yolanda's mother inside and I'm like, this woman's gonna be a terrorist. Like, I cannot wait to see what this woman's like. And her helper, Leo, or her dad, I don't know who the guy is. Brother. Leo. Oh, Leo the brother, right. The brother. Yolanda's brother, who might as well just be helper, servant, dad. Yeah, the brother. The brother's like,
Starting point is 00:31:53 should I get the coffee? And the mom goes, no, of course not. Of course not. Thumbs up for me. I'm like, bitch on wheels for a mother. I'm in. I have prepared half an almond and that is all. So they all show up and Mammy's just waiting in there. She's like, I think they're stuck in the elevator. Ha. It says... I hate when we do that at the same time. We're so gay. I saw a street sign here that said, his, and I was like, that's us. That's the alternate title for our show. Psst. Psst. Who's going to talk for us? Psst. So, God, my sibilant ass, you know the gay
Starting point is 00:32:39 ass, these microphones. I need a less gay microphone, please. Kinda! Okay, so they go in and Yolanda's mother is of course like, hello, hello, please, look at this cake. Do not touch it! I said, look at it. She literally does that. She's like, doesn't it look good, this cake? This cake has been on our family for seven generations, and no one has ever tasted it. It is the ultimate test from mother. Watch what happens to Mammy when I get close to it.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Getting closer, closer. Hey, it's a cake! Kim, do not touch the cake, Kim! Do not touch the cake, Kim! Oh God, thank God. Kim almost ate ate the cake Mammy would have been horrified Kim Richards gets electrocuted into the cake Okay, so Yolanda's like oh look everybody. I'm scrolling through the water. Look this is what is very Dutch
Starting point is 00:33:40 What I'm doing here scroll through the water. Look, it's Gigi today. This is Gigi. This is my Gigi today alert. Does anyone else want to show photos of their children modeling for Chanel or just me? Just me? Gigi for Chanel? Anyone? Gigi? Look, it's Gigi as a cake. Kim's like, aah! Rina, you have daughters that model, right? Just kidding. Tell them to have fun this summer working in the ice cream shop or whatever non-Dutch thing they're doing. So the conversation turns to tonight. We're all going to try space cake in Amsterdam. Hey, Mammy, have you ever tried space cake?" And she's like, none of your fucking business. I've tried space cake.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Where do you think space cadet came from over here? Mother. She's like, yes, I had space cake. How do you think Leo came into the picture? Exactly. So the plan is they're gonna go and you know it's like well is it okay to go to space cake if you're like this one over here got to Kim? Like, I'm a little space cake short and stout. So now they're talking about the fight yesterday and Yolanda's like, I was so happy to see you on bicycles and forgetting everything and Rinna's like, yeah, you know, I just decided life's too short, especially for Kim.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Let's face it. You know, Lisa and I were thinking that we both weren't going to go on this bike trip, but we thought, you know what, we can't let that kind of stuff get in the way, even if she did call me a beast. Just even saying it rattles my bones. So they're like, where's Kim? Is she coming? Where is she?
Starting point is 00:35:39 Where's Kim? Where's Kim? Kim's like, I'm on a windmill. I told you not to hide it. Left Kim on the fucking windmill. Yeah, so they're going to go out to the coffee shop, the space cave. You've got to love these ladies.
Starting point is 00:35:54 OK, let's be right, Kim, all year long for being an alcoholic and a drug addict, and then act shocked when she doesn't want to go to the weed store. I know. She doesn't want to go to the weed store. I know. So here comes the classic Kyle moment. So they're talking about walking out to the store and everything or the shop.
Starting point is 00:36:15 And Eileen's like, oh, everyone, don't go into dark alleys. And Yolanda says, well, that's why I brought my brother. He's like a bodyguard. You know, I cannot even imagine, you know know like with you and your sister Kyle I can't imagine I couldn't go a day without speaking to Leo and Kyle goes I wish I had a brother I know I wish I had a son All right, so then we go to the pot shop and then we get the Kyle is so innocent. She's never even seen weed before. She's like, what is this? Space cake?
Starting point is 00:36:55 What? Do you call it Mary Juana? I'm Jewish. Is it a Jewish thing? Mary Juana? What? What is it? You eat it or you smoke it?
Starting point is 00:37:03 Do you inject it? I'm going to get a contact high from your space cake. Oh my god, drugs. What are they? What? This is crazy. So Lisa's like Yolanda, come on, your mother had space cake. I mean, look at Leo here. I'm surprised he doesn't have a third ear at this point. Come on, eat up. Kyle's like, I could never. I'm just not that kind of person. I mean, space cake, oh my god, I just could never. And Brandy's like, last time I had weed it was with you. What are you even talking about? And Kyle's like, um, um, um. Um, um.
Starting point is 00:37:44 I have a children. I have a children. Well, if you don't want to say it, then don't do it. You know who else has children? Kim. You fucking hypocrite. So Brandy is like, okay, like that's your opinion, but like don't like sit here and pretend like all night long like you're like missing this thing. Because like that's the truth. You did weed once. Brandy, do a bite. No. You can do it.
Starting point is 00:38:11 No. You can do it. Yeah, I can get fucking high, but I'm not getting high around you bitches. Are you crazy? This is also such an LA thing that they're acting like this is literally like Russian roulette is to take a bite of cake on this show. It's like the worst thing you can ask the real housewives of Beverly Hills, take a bite of cake.
Starting point is 00:38:30 The weed has nothing to do with it. It's just like, we've worked really hard to get onto our vacation bodies right now. Yeah, it's ultimately a test by Yolanda. She's just like, I'm watching you. Space cake, anyone? Not on my phone! So by the way, you have to have a really shitty personality if someone doesn't want to do drugs with you. I mean, I've met that person.
Starting point is 00:38:58 He's like, hey Ronnie, want to party? Not really. I have been white-knuckling it for four hours and suddenly it's gone. Crazy. Crazy. So finally they start taking pieces of cake. Lisa takes a first bite, you know, and then Eileen's like, well, you know, I'm going to take a bite.
Starting point is 00:39:18 You know, it's actually very good. It's actually very good. It's a very good cake. Just kidding. That was me acting. You're welcome. So this is a good 20 minutes of was me acting. You're welcome. So this is a good 20 minutes of these ladies acting like, what? Space cake? Oh, I never! Okay, fast forward to, what is this, 2030? Reading some Morgan Wade lyrics. I don't know if you've really...
Starting point is 00:39:41 I know this is the land of Shakespeare, but surely you can handle some real literature, eh? But some of the lyrics to one of Morgan's most recent songs is something like, Oh, I'm in the chateau mama with a real famous old chick. You never know that she doesn't have a... Snorting drugs off my washboard stomach. I'm like, God damn, that's so subtle. So Kyle's banging Morgan in the chateau and snorting shit off her stomach. Okay, rewind, rewind, Kyle's like, marijuana, space cakes, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh, so Brandy who's been on the sidelines all episode is like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna not be in this episode right so I'm gonna find a way to have a fight about space cake. for basically eating space cake off camera, but then on camera. But you know, it's basically like Lala and Katie.
Starting point is 00:40:44 It's like, you know. Like, Katie says one thing off camera about orionisks. And then on camera, she's like, acts like her biggest fansks. So that's what, Brandi's basically saying that. And she's, and she, and which in this case though, I love it, cause Kyle's like, Brandi, stop it. I have children to protect. You can't do this to though, I love it. Cause Kyle's like, Brandy, stop it. I have children to protect. You can't do this to me, Brandy.
Starting point is 00:41:08 Well, it's hard to protect them when you're fucking fucked up on weed like you were last time I saw you. Dumb weed, weed head. I mean, everyone's allowed to have an opinion of my life and what I'm doing and what I'm not doing. And do I have a drinking problem? Do I not have a drinking problem?
Starting point is 00:41:22 Did I try to make out with Caroline Manzo? It's embarrassing for me too, okay? But no one wants to hear the truth about their lives. And I'm just doing and do I have a drinking problem? Do I not have a drinking problem? Did I try to make out with Caroline Manzo? It's embarrassing for me too, okay? But no one wants to hear the truth about their lives and I'm just fucking over it, I'm over it. So she's like, yeah, anyone can say whatever they want about me but then when I say something about everyone, that's just not fair, everyone's a bully.
Starting point is 00:41:37 By the way, every single episode on this tour is that voice saying the exact same lines because the next few are Kelly Dodd going going why is everybody bullying me? Why? Tamra, hey Tamra, you're a real bitch and that's why your daughter doesn't speak to you. Why? Why? Why is everybody attacking me? It's a very squealy victim kind of a week for us. Thank you for joining us on the first part. So Kyle is basically like, the things that we say about Brandy are the things she has done.
Starting point is 00:42:16 What Brandy says about us is designed to hurt people. Oh, you get to make the rules on who can talk shitty. It's like I talk shitty, but I'm doing it within the rules that I set. Shut the fuck up, Kyle. All right, you earned this. I wish Kyle went to prison for weed. And on that note, that brings us to the end of Amsterdam. Thank you, London, so much for being here tonight we appreciate you
Starting point is 00:42:47 have a great night we'll come back as soon as we can. Good night everyone good night. Watch What Crap Inz would like to thank it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no bologna! Strolling the park with Kaitlyn Clark! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella! Hitchels!
Starting point is 00:43:17 Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles! She's never scary, it's the green fairy! Jamie, she has no less namey. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristin the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.
Starting point is 00:43:39 We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper!
Starting point is 00:44:00 Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! We forever love Eva! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible, edible Matthew sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell, pour Rachel. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture.
Starting point is 00:44:38 We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch or Crap and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. I'm Shimon Yai and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition.
Starting point is 00:45:08 I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge. And also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is the competition. Follow the competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry+.

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