Watch What Crappens - #2456 The Valley S01E12, Part Two: Low Bar

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

This is part 2 of a two-parter!Brittany finally realizes that she’s been getting Jaxxed for the past decade on The Valley (S01E12) finale and leaves that good for nothing pile of nose debri...s. Atta girl! Janet has a baby, and it turns out that she still sucks even when she’s not preggers so hey! Consistency! Great season. Enjoy! Watch this recap on video  and listen to all of our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:02:50 She was letting some other people hear my conversation. Do you not see how fucked up that is? That is absolutely so fucked up. Trying to think of like a Betty that I could turn into a Petty and make a very funny pond. Hold on, it's coming to me. That is like Petty and Wilma. Okay. Thank you. Damn, sad I didn't think of that one. So he's like, yeah, I mean, I didn't know I was on speaker
Starting point is 00:03:19 phone with Johnna and she didn't tell me that there was anybody else down. That is a textbook mean girl move. And on top of that, she decided to have Jax do her bidding. She could have texted, she could have called, she could have sent a carrier pigeon. You could have come here by airplane. You could have come here by mail plane. I don't care how you get here. Just got here if you come. Oh, petty Adams. So then Janet, it's barely a pun, but I'm just want to go there. So Janice like. So Janice talking and she's like, Jasmine just said he was trolling me and Jasmine over here, she goes, Janet, I am not like, don't make me the bad guy here.
Starting point is 00:04:02 And thank you, Jasmine. Just like, all right. Well, you know what? Like have his back. Good luck with that. Go, go, go have fun. Go have fun. Jazz basically like, oh, like, like because you just sort of defended Zach, you're like not a friend to me anymore. Great. Great. Yeah. And Jasmine's like, I'm not taking anybody's side. And so Brittany comes over and she's like, are y'all okay? And he's like, yeah, sure. Sit down, baby. And he's like, yeah, she has all her minions around her and she's got crock of shit boots right next to her. I practiced that one. I practiced that. Okay. But so what?
Starting point is 00:04:36 And she's like, got all these kiss ass gays around her saying, you're the boss, Janna, you're the boss. You're the boss, Janet, you're the boss. Because right now, like Zach and Brittany are in like one booth and the adjacent booth is Janet with her gaze. So they're having kind of like a cold war amongst the booths, you know? And I love that he said that because that is exactly what those two gays, those two Muppet gays are doing.
Starting point is 00:04:59 They're sitting right next to Janet going, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, Oh my God, what did he say? What? What? Tell me more, tell me more. Did he, did he post a troubling thing on IG stories? Tell me more, tell me more. Did he make it seem like he was in Big Bear
Starting point is 00:05:17 by geotagging Big Bear, but then he just wrote something menacing and it was a black screen? Tell me more. I mean, they're just over there laughing at everything she says like she's petty fucking Murphy that's me bitch so Zach is like I don't care I don't I just don't care but you should care because if someone is causing stress she can literally lose her baby so don't say
Starting point is 00:05:43 something like that okay great great great i'm sorry i'm sorry she's not the fucking queen actually wait just thought of good gay funny moment right now actually you know what she is the queen of england because she's dead to me like queen elizabeth queen elizabeth died okay so there was a queen in england and everyone loved her but she died and she's dead right now so she is like like that queen, cause she's dead to me. Cause everyone see what I'm trying to say here. Everyone get the pun. If you get the pun, you can sit in my booth.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Anyone, queen of England, dead. Do you think that this is where all this accusation, well, no, it had to have happened earlier, right? I don't think it's from this. You don't think it's from this Janet saying that she thinks that Zach wants her and her baby to die or whatever she said, because this happened after, right? But I can't remember that she thinks that Zach wants her and her baby to die or whatever she said. Because this happened after right?
Starting point is 00:06:27 But I can't remember if she said that in a confessional or what like where that originated. Honestly, I think this whole thing about like Janet saying that Zach wants her baby to be killed is so dark and so fucked up. It's like it's actually like gossip that I don't think is like fun. And I just think that I'm not willing I'm not willing to do the research and give it any light of day with Janet like if that's really like I just think it I'm not willing to do the research and give it any light of day with Janet. Like if that's really, like I just think it's ridiculous. Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:06:50 I love that stance and I'm gonna jump on that train with you, fuck that. So Brittany comes over, she's like, what's going on? And he's like, I mean, don't you even get angry Brittany cause you weren't here. I'm not angry, I just wanna have everybody like I have a good time, right? I mean, I just don't want to deal with this shit right now.
Starting point is 00:07:07 I mean, can't anybody just tell me I'm pretty? Anybody. Hold on, I don't have the mental capacity for this right now. Well, I don't know if I have mental capacity for too many things too many times, but I'm already going through all sorts of these things with my issues, my marriage,
Starting point is 00:07:21 and like just got this bar open and all my friends are fine and I can't get my Tivo to work. And I thought tonight would be like a little bit of respect to be had for the fact that there was a bar opening. I mean, where was the last time someone, why can't a girl just open up a bar on Studio City anymore and have some respect for it?
Starting point is 00:07:36 Girl, let's not pretend like this is your first time being at a bar when it opens. Second of all, you were the one who started all this, Brittany, ma'am. You started all these fights at the beginning of the season, and you don't get to act like none of it like every you're just the victim and you can't believe people are ruining your night. People are giving you a season finale and you planted the seeds by starting all of this gossip and
Starting point is 00:08:02 throwing Zach under the bus at the very beginning of the season. Didn't she? Is this in my head that she started this? She did. It's all fucked up. I think she said something to Jax, which she's entitled to because they are a couple. And then Jax told Kristen and then Jax acted like Kristen told him.
Starting point is 00:08:21 And then of course, then Kristen held onto it. But then Janet said something to Zach and then Zach told him. And then of course, then Kristen held onto it. But then Janet said something to Zach and then Zach told Kristen and then Kristen was sitting on that. And then Brittany came for Kristen and accused Kristen of trying to fuck up the vibe of everything. And so Kristen was like, what, because of, because of this? So she also think about the Republican thing, which Janet started, and then they all got mad at Kristen, make it sound like Kristen meant that Kim brought that out of thin air.
Starting point is 00:08:48 And then they're all angry at Kristen. So then Kristen finally gets fed up and unleashes the first thing that she learned from Jax, which he learned from Kristen, from Brittany. So in both cases, Brittany, the roads go back to Brittany. Yeah, all roads lead back to Brittany. That made sense, right? Yeah. That was like very articulate and well stated. My brain is leaking out of my ear, but yes, it Rose lead back. Did anyone follow that? That made sense, right? Yeah. That was like very articulate and well stated.
Starting point is 00:09:05 My brain is leaking out of my ear, but yes, it did make sense. Hi, that's a new cocktail at Jack's. Brain leaker. Brain leaker. Brain leaker. Jasmine goes up to Jana and she's like, okay, okay, it's like, we're good.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I mean, I get it. Like you don't like Zach. Like, okay, okay, okay, that's fine then. She goes, no, because if Zach tells me to get the fuck out of here, I'm completely validated to not have him at my baby mode. She goes, okay, okay, I hear you, I hear you. I get it.
Starting point is 00:09:34 He said that after the invitation situation, not before the invitation situation. Shannon's just a fucking liar and a Karen. I can't, and I'm trying to use the word Karen less, but then they bring on the ultimate Karen. She's not even, she's worse than Trishel. I think she's worse. She's like a concentrate of Trishel.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Trishel, no vowels. She's a Trishel. So no, cause I'm trying to use the word Trishel instead of Karen out of respect for our I know but I couldn't do that because I feel like she's even worse than Trishelle. I feel like Trishelle Doesn't deserve that feel like Trishelle is pretty terrible But this I don't know. She's just the worst. This one was the worst. So
Starting point is 00:10:21 So Jasmine's like, okay, I get I'm telling you I get it She says and so you approve of that behavior? And she's like, no, I don't approve of it. She goes, you're not talking to me like a friend right now because I'm on the brink of crying. I need to go to bed. Oh my God, then go, then just fucking go. Why don't you go anywhere?
Starting point is 00:10:40 Why don't you go anywhere if this is this difficult for you? Just fucking go. So Jasmine's basically like, well, you know what? This makes me want to cry too. And Zach is my friend and it's fucked up for you guys to put me in a place where to choose him or choose you. That's like fucked up. And she says like, you know, like Janice, like, well, you're not gonna have my back.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Like I'm like, I always have your back. Like you guys are like my good friends and it really hurts me because I know how good you guys can be. And like I've seen it. If you just say I don't have your back because I'm also Zach's friend. That's just like not fair. She's totally right It's not fair for her to do that. She goes I have your guys's back I have his back and it's fucked up and that's all I'm saying. It's just like fucked up So then Jason's Jason calls over Jan. He's like Jana come over here
Starting point is 00:11:20 So he gets her out of there saves her and Brittany is like, I know you guys can fix this. You guys can totally fix this. Cause right, if there's anything that we've learned from this show is that all these relationships are totally fixable. So Jasmine's, Jasmine's like, I mean, I wouldn't cry over anybody else, you guys. Like you're being mean to me
Starting point is 00:11:39 and I really like you, we're friends Janet. And Janet's like, I mean, trust me, I wanna cry too, but I wanna do it at home. You don't wanna cry. You started all this, you're an asshole. So Jasmine's like, well, you know, like I've been friends with you, blah, blah, blah. And Janet's like, I gave him a chance and it didn't work out.
Starting point is 00:11:56 And so now he doesn't get to buy my baby gifts. Like, here we come with the Janet threats. We don't get to go to your baby party and buy you a guest. Now we don't get to come to your baby's sip and see and buy you a guest. Then we don't get to come to your baby's first fucking birthday and buy your baby some more fucking gifts. Fuck off with doing your baby threats, okay?
Starting point is 00:12:17 You baby terrorist. So Jax is like, oh my God, everyone's got drama. So he offers water to Brittany. He's like, here's some water. I need you to be sober right now. You did offer her shots before I just suited up. And by the way, water doesn't make you sober. I hate to break this news to people. Water does not make you sober. It just makes the hangover easier, but water does not miraculously make you sober.
Starting point is 00:12:42 So Jack's like, Oh, I have to do a speech and share it. So everybody, I just want to say thank you so much. Wait, am I giving a speech now? I think it's not till later. So I'm just gonna talk about giving it. It's a practice run. Yeah, I'm just gonna, I'll do that later. So Jason's like, we need to stay and support our friends
Starting point is 00:13:00 because they're on their side of the bar over here and we're hanging out over here. And Janet's like, the thing with Jasmine, it's like not good, okay? It's not good. And Jasmine's bent into Kristen. She's like, I mean, I see you guys are like not in a good place and you're like getting mad at me for like trying.
Starting point is 00:13:20 So you know like what? You can take your happy vanilla corny shit somewhere else. And Kristen goes, yeah, because I, so I like Miss Big Bear, so I'm just like catching up on what's going on. trying so you know like what you can take your happy vanilla corny shit somewhere else and Chris goes yeah Because I saw I like miss big bear so I'm just like catching up all what's going on. Seriously. Seriously So Jen and then Janet spent it when she said when she said you can take your happy vanilla corndog shit somewhere else I started laughing Oh, yeah Because they literally showed the flashback to them dressing as the couple as their favorite things and it was vanilla and a corndog
Starting point is 00:13:43 I mean, I know this sounds so good that I even favorite things and it was vanilla and a corn dog. I mean, I know the show's so good that I even forgot that and it just happened. I mean, there's so much packed into this show. But of course, that's their couple thing, vanilla and a corn dog. So then Janet does pulls this move because she's venting and she goes, you know what, now I guess I know who my friends are and who are not. And when I bring a child into this world, I know who's going to be around that child and who's not like, Oh, God forbid, like God forbid I don't get the invitation to be around your child. Like I love when people do that as if it's like people really care about being around her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:17 It's like you're threatening me with her child with keeping your child away. Give me a fucking break with that. Oh, I don't get to babysit for free for you. Oh, I don't get to babysit for free for you. Oh, I don't like you. Why would I want to be around like a tiny version of you that poops? Yeah. So, so, so Jasmine's like, okay, bring Jack's over here. And so he's like, Okay, what's going on? What's going on? And Jasmine's like, I don't want to do this at your party. But it's fucking bullshit. When you had us sat down, and you said that you guys aren't invited to Big Bear. That was like, not cool. And Jack's like, oh, I was the messenger.
Starting point is 00:14:48 I was the messenger. And she's like, exactly. And that's why I told Janet. But like, she said, I don't know why he said that, the messenger. And I'm like, like, well, he was, it's Jack's. Well, I'm going to do it. I'm going to go talk about the head of the problem right now. I'm going to go talk to her right now. So he marches over there. And Nia's just like, can we get a girl's photo before I have to live in Tarzana? All the girls hate each other. All the girls hate each other. Can we have a girl's photo please? I'm about to go to Santa Clarita, so probably won't see me for a few years. So now Zach is like, hey, Luke, daddy, follow me. And Luke's like, no, I wanna keep my eye line on Kristin.
Starting point is 00:15:30 So then we see Kristin go up to, she's like, so look, this is what happened to Michelle. Michelle's like, there was no reason for you to do everything that you did, Kristin. She goes, Janet started it. Do you not realize that? Janet's the one who fucking started it. It was Janet all along.
Starting point is 00:15:44 It was Janet. So then Jax is like, okay, first of all, I'm not gonna get into this, but like I was the messenger Janet, because he's staying in a different sexual. I was the messenger and Jax goes, hold on, be careful with your tone, because I am pregnant.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Hold on. I'm pregnant. Hold on, the baby hears your tone. The baby hears your tone, Jax. Wait, I'm lady. I'm pregnant. Hold on, the baby hears your tone. The baby hears your tone, Jax. Wait, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant. Let's go. So he's like, I mean, I was just the messenger. She goes, so I told you to go uninvite everyone?
Starting point is 00:16:14 He goes, everyone? No. She goes, okay, I'm done. Good luck with your bar. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant and I'm done here. When she said, careful with your tone, I am pregnant, I'm pregnant, and I'm done here. When she said, careful with your tone, I am pregnant, I was like, I can't.
Starting point is 00:16:30 I think that was the moment I turned on Joe. That was when I went from being like, well, she's a monster, but she's hilarious to being like, wait a second. No, she just sucks. She's a really bad try to rip off Stassi. She's like cosplaying Stassi and honey is just not, you don't have it in you, I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:16:45 So Zach is like, we're just like so fractured right now. I just don't know where we all go forward in this. I mean, they're trying to make me out to be a monster. Like I'm some kind of Eddie monster. I just can't. Petty monster. Oh damn, I fucked up a petty monster. Petty monster.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Oh boo, boo, I quit. Sorry everybody, pinging up my hat. You know what? fucked up a petty monster. Oh, petty monster. Oh, boo, I quit. Sorry, everybody. Pinging up my hat. You know what? Janet likes to spread these seeds of gossip and drama everywhere. And the thing that Janet doesn't understand is that her normal tricks she can get away with
Starting point is 00:17:16 because nobody sees them. It's all behind the scenes. But now every person seeing it, and I don't think people can ignore it anymore. And then we see like, I think this is where we see like an extended montage of Janet blatantly sowing seeds of discord throughout the entire group. Yeah. So then, uh, Kristen's still like, it's Janet.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Janet's been lying the whole fucking time. Oh, Mary Paul's the, oh, I feel like holding Kristen back. She's like, it was her, it was her. Brittany's like, I feel like I need to let y'all talk about this. And she's like, no, she doesn't wanna talk about it. And I respect that, I respect it very much. So then, Jack, now it's Jack's, it's time for him to give a speech.
Starting point is 00:18:02 He's like, all right, all right, everyone, Okay, everyone, hey, welcome to Jax's. I can't tell you how great it is to have an establishment with these guys. Like we're here, here we are in the heart of Beverly Hills. Jax, it's the valley. Like I said, it's amazing we got to open up this casino here on the strip. I mean, right across from Harrah's, Bellagia.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Jax, we're barring the valley. I mean, to be up here at the top. I mean, right across from Harrah's Bellagio. JX, we're barring the valley. I mean, to be up here at the top of 30 Rock, rebranding the Rainbow Room after Jax, I mean, what an honor. Welcome to Jax George. I like when he said, welcome to Jax's. And he is like, and Britney's, and Britney's. And Zach's like, yeah, and Britney's.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Yeah, Jax, Britney's the one who fucking did everything. What have you done except come here and get drunk every night with a bunch of fans, you weirdo? Britney's on credit. I hope Britney opens a revenge business. It could just be called, someone call me pretty, question mark,
Starting point is 00:19:01 and you can go get your makeup done or something. And someone will call you pretty. You're a cool guy. So Britney's like pretty you're a cool guy so you know what tonight was a lot of dry rara rara Rama but I am definitely not happy about that but I am proud of myself I'm proud of JX because the way he wiped the dust off of that neon sign outside that was amazing and now we have this beautiful sports bar for the valley which the valley does not have a single one so I'm so glad we were able to start sports bars in the valley and at the end of the day I'm gonna say this night was a success yes and then it Jacks and
Starting point is 00:19:39 Brittany kiss and then Jacks it just kind of like smells her breath and shakes his head like this poor alcoholic, but I love her. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid. It's a safe space to let your weirdo fag fly. On Morbid, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events,
Starting point is 00:20:15 and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a f***. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds. So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:20:40 You can listen to Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed as frauds. But none of this was their idea. So whose idea was it? Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist. Two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers. The only problem, they couldn't sing.
Starting point is 00:21:17 But Frank knew just how to fix that. Wondery's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Millie Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings?
Starting point is 00:21:41 Follow Blame It On The Fame, Millie Vanilli, on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Six months later. Tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum-tum. We now go to Jesse and Michelle's house. It's March, March, 2024. And Michelle shows up and it's like tents between them.
Starting point is 00:22:06 And then Michelle has Isabella, brings Isabella into the house and they're making like small talk or whatever. And Michelle's like, all right, well, let's bring the bike to my house. Hey, Isabella, what else should we bring to my house? We got to bring some toys. Should we bring some toys? How about some joy? Oh, wait, that's right. There is no joy in this house. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We gotta bring some toys. Should we bring some toys? How about some joy? Oh wait, that's right. There is no joy in this house. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Can I have a fork so I can try to eat daddy meatloaf? It's meat head, honey. Meat head. Sorry, mommy. Go into the other room while I talk to your daddy. So she does. And she, Jesse's like, what did she say when he picked her up?
Starting point is 00:22:50 She goes, she didn't say anything. She said she had a nice weekend with you. Ooh. And he's like, yeah, she did. She had a lot of fun. So are you good with the schedule for next week or what? She goes, as long as it makes sense and it's 50-50. And he goes, it is 50-50.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Two days on, two days off. It's perfect. And she goes, well then I have no issues. He goes, okay. Well, I've asked you multiple times. Have you gotten all the supplies and everything from Malibu because you're taking Malibu with you when Isabella's with you, are you not?
Starting point is 00:23:24 You know, the fact that they named their dog Malibu, this shows me everything I need to know about Jesse. You were never planning on being truly close with your wife because you named your dog the most loving thing in your house, you named it a distance. Cause that sits far. Malibu is so far, every time he says it, I'm like, oh, all I can think about is the drive.
Starting point is 00:23:44 So she's like, I finally hit a point where I knew I was done and I wanted to get out and I wanted to start my new life. Mm-hmm. There was no question on whether or not I made the right choice. I mean. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:23:58 So she's like, well, cause he's, and he's so condescending, he's like, you bought food for the dog, right? She's like, yeah, I bought food for the dog. Like we've discussed, we need to come up with a list. And he's like, he's like, well, I don't know why you need a list. It's very simple. Maybe even someone like a woman could understand it
Starting point is 00:24:21 if we just go through it. She's like, yeah, but it's not simple until it's complicated. So I'd rather have it written down as a list. So yeah, I just love that Michelle came in here and she was not gonna let this fucker manipulate anything. I mean, I think that he is ready to manipulate the audience with his tears and be like, look what this horrid woman did to me.
Starting point is 00:24:42 And now he's going to cry. And now he's gonna try and start a fight with her to get some emotion out of her. Cause you know how we do when we're hurt. We're like, Oh, do you feel anything? Can I at least make you mad? And she's like, no, you cannot. I don't feel anything more. You. And, and here he, so now she's like, I basically want in writing all the, like our plan going forward, I guess with like the kid, the business or whatever. And he's like, it's simple. He's like saying, it's like, it's very simple.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Let's not make it complicated. It's very condescending, but it's also his way of trying to get out of writing, putting anything in writing, you know? And she's like, yeah, it's simple until it's not simple, you know, because these things become complicated. Anytime people talk about divorce, any breakup, but really divorce, how they're like, it'll just be simple and quick. It never is. It just never is. So she's absolutely right. Whatever it is they're talking about,
Starting point is 00:25:36 they're going to get it in writing. They should. When people are like, Oh, he would never do this. I know him. He would never, he would never treat me like that. No, you know the person that you me like that. No, you know, the person that you dated and that you married, you don't know that the person that you divorced yet. Okay. That is a different person. Okay. Get it in writing, get it in writing people. So, she's like, it needs to be in writing. And he's, he's like, the only thing we don't fight about is Isabella. So right now we're in the shit form
Starting point is 00:26:05 of a kaleidoscope of a divorce. And she's like, here it is. It is simple, Jesse. We don't work together anymore. The end. That's it. That's all you have to say in the papers. It's done now.
Starting point is 00:26:20 He's like, I mean, that's kind of a interesting metaphor. We don't work together anymore. I don't know if you ever really worked together in the first place if you see what I'm saying. So Jessie is like, perfect. So the mediator was very clear in her emails that with the filing paperwork, it is to be printed, signed, and scanned back to her.
Starting point is 00:26:36 And I'm not signing anything until I can retain an attorney to go to court to file. So I don't know the whole backstory of your arrangement, but it already sounds to me like whatever they decided they were going to agree to, he's already backing out of it. Yeah. And she's saying, what are you talking about? We're getting divorced. And he's like, no, I need my own lawyer.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Okay, then why'd you agree to a mediator? Yeah. Like, are you an idiot? Can you not? He's just grasping. I think he's just trying to pretend that he's grasping at straws, but if he really was making an effort and he really did want this, A, he would have done more than an ayahuasca weekend,
Starting point is 00:27:11 and B, he would have made some effort to get his own lawyer and fight this instead of just being like, okay, get a mediator, and then I'll just complain about my own lawyer when there are TV cameras around. He's fucking not falling for any of this bullshit, okay? It's been a week of Bravo Men on TV. It's been a year of Bravo Men on TV.
Starting point is 00:27:30 This is just one more cobblestone on the street to terrible manhood, sir. Yeah. So she says, she tells us, Jesse has a very strong personality, and I don't think he is used to me being very stern in what I believe in and I'm not going to take any of that type of bullshit.
Starting point is 00:27:55 There is nothing to discuss. I've moved out. So he's correct. She's an Ivy and have to write here and I paid for my new place. And he's saying, well, but goes, and I paid half the rent here and I paid for my new place. And he's saying, well, but I'm just asking about the corporation that our business is running. And she goes, the money is split. And he's like, no, we need to talk to a corporate attorney
Starting point is 00:28:13 and an accountant and I explained to you, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, the kid interrupts, you know, for a second. And they shoo her away. And Michelle's like, I've made everything very simple. I moved out, I got a place, I got furniture. I moved on, we're not doing business together. We don't need to make anything complicated because I just, and he's like,
Starting point is 00:28:34 but I'm just thinking about Isabella. Really, you weren't thinking about her when you slept through her shit in her pants when she was growing up or needing food when she was sobbing in the middle of the night and screaming. You weren't thinking about her then. Isabella didn't choose this. So we have to remember that all we have left is to make sure she can live the best life she can. Okay, Jesse. So Michelle's like to be the one who
Starting point is 00:29:01 makes the decision to get divorced is incredibly hard because one day I will have to tell my daughter that I left her dad and his hair dent. At the end of the day, I'm doing what's best for her, but I'm always thought my daughter would be raised by two parents who are together. And ultimately that dream was not reality. Reality. Yeah, so, okay. So they're out. So then, now we go over to Janet and Jason's and it's girl time.
Starting point is 00:29:33 It's the end of the season thing where they pick up the cameras and all the girls get together to talk about how the men have done them wrong. It's now been Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and this one. Was there anything else this year that this happened on? There was, right? What was the other one they brought up the cameras for this year?
Starting point is 00:29:49 They brought the cameras on Atlanta for Ralph and Drew Sidora. That was bad. Well, Potomac, you had that Gordon and Mia scene, which did not have any rallying. That was wild, that scene. That was probably one of the better camera I could work up. But this one is another one of all the ladies gathering. And so Michelle comes over and they're gonna have skinny margaritas. And Janice like, oh my God, I'm not like Dolly Parton. I'm just pumping right now.
Starting point is 00:30:21 I've got a baby. So it's so funny. He like lashes and then thrashes. It've got a baby. So it's so funny. He like lashes and then thrashes. It's like a baby thing. So it's rough. I'm a mom now. So. Have you ever heard of breastfeeding?
Starting point is 00:30:35 Yeah, it's like something I'm sort of doing right now. So I'm a mom. So Michelle, they're all hanging out and Michelle's talking about how she has a new place and Janet's asking about it and Michelle still, turns out Michelle lives just like two blocks away from her old place. I closed the Chateau Marmont, which is most important.
Starting point is 00:30:56 I love how Janet's like, Janet's like, oh, so you're still in the same neighborhood? So you can walk to Chateau Marmont every day? I'm like, I love the Chateau Marmont thing is like the priority. It's like, so you can walk to Chateau Marmont every day. I love the Chateau Marmont thing is like the priority. It's like, so you can still find mother other directors there, right? People. I mean, I've never heard of anybody loving the Chateau Marmont this much. Have you?
Starting point is 00:31:15 No, I'm also just impressed that she found a new place so close to it. I mean, that's like really high value real estate over there. Yeah. So she's going gonna still get to go there. And so Brittany's coming and they're like, oh my God, what's going on with Brittany? Men, right? And Michelle's like, yeah, the men go through emotions of ups and downs.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Jesse is a roller coaster most of the time. And Nia's like, yeah, I would say that applies to all the men, they're all like that roller coasters. Well, actually, I guess in my life, the biggest roller coaster is the actual roller coaster at Magic Mountain because Danny keeps taking me up to Valencia to try to sell me on it up there. I don't want to move up there.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I don't want to move to Magic Mountain. So now Jackson and Jason are at Jack's bar and they're gonna talk about being a dad. And Jason's like, dude, a lot is new. Janet already wants number two. And I'm like, come on, bro. Jack's like, dude, you've had a baby for like five minutes. I mean, string her along for a while,
Starting point is 00:32:19 make her not feel pretty and then start calling her an alcoholic before you even consider that shit. And then, yeah, they're like talking about the baby stuff and everything. And Jason's like, Oh, so man, you've had a busy last few days, huh? And I said, Oh, man, the paparazzi have been everywhere. I mean, there's no fairs. There's no cheating. There's no abuse, nothing like that. I'm just like, I'm so triggered. And I'm so like, my fuse is like this big right now. I was like, oh, I just have to go to AMPM.
Starting point is 00:32:51 All day long. He probably actually is freaking out because he doesn't have to go to AMPM because there's no one to avoid in the house anymore. Yeah. So by the way, so fucking gross that Brittany had to move out and Jack stayed there. I just can't stress so fucking gross that Brittany had to move out and Jack stayed there.
Starting point is 00:33:05 I just can't stress enough how gross that is. So now Janet and Jason, Janet, their house or whatever. So Brittany comes over and she's like, oh my God, Janet can do a shot finally. Lord knows I need a shot. She's like, how are you doing? She said, I'm all right. I've had this weird moment right now because today was so hard.
Starting point is 00:33:30 And she tells us a lot's happened between me and JX. We were already having issues all summer, all summer long and stuff. But like once the cameras stopped rolling, things just seemed to get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. And then it got worse and then it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse. I and worse and worse and worse. And then it got worse and then it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse. I was like, okay, Brittany. So about six weeks ago, I got separated from Jax
Starting point is 00:33:50 and I moved into an IRB and B with Cruz because Jax would not leave the house. I just feel like it shows how selfish it is. The fact that I had to move out with Cruz instead of him moving out, especially being from Kentucky, like man doesn't do that in Kentucky. Man don't leave the house, man leave the house in Kentucky. Do men leave the house
Starting point is 00:34:08 generally in Kentucky? I like that that's a state thing like Kentucky where the men have the decency to leave the house. Flower is the man moving out. You all moving out. You haul. You haul. So Janet's like, you guys are nicer than me because like I wouldn't have gone.
Starting point is 00:34:31 And she's like, well, it was like, he wasn't gonna leave, so I had to leave. I mean, it was just two talks to both situations, especially for my son. So then back to Jax, Jax is like, I mean, I've been so in the dumps, just like crying my eyes out. You know, that's what kills me the most.
Starting point is 00:34:45 You know, Cruz, like all I think about is Cruz. Like, is he cold? Probably. Does he have a roof over his head? Do I really care? Can he find parking? How old is that kid? I really don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Why did I name him Cruz? What's his face look like? I just keep going up to random kids saying Cruz. Cruz? Every one of them is saying no. I mean, it's just so triggering. I just keep going up to random kids saying Cruz, Cruz, every one of them is sitting now. I mean, it's just so triggering. Oh man. All I can think about is Cruz and who's going to take care of him when I have possession of him. So, uh, Jackson's like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:35:19 Brittany and I are on a break. Never said I would get married. Then I never said I would get divorced and here we are said I would get divorced. And here we are separated. It doesn't look good. Let me hear, hold on. Let me just like try to fake getting choked up. Uh, uh, uh. No, sorry, it didn't work. Didn't work this time.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Catch me tomorrow. And this is how Jax talks about Brittany behind her back. You can tell because Jason's next sentence. He goes, I mean, like you said, nothing happened. Oh, I thought, I didn, like you said, nothing happened. Oh, I thought, I didn't remember the line being like this. So nevermind, strike what I just said. I thought Jason said, I thought he said, so it's not like you caught her in bed having a threesome,
Starting point is 00:35:58 which I was like, oh my God, that's so Jax, because remember when he was like, oh yeah, I caught her in bed having a, who did he say she was having sex with? Kristen? Kristen was going down on her? Didn't he say that one year that Kristen was going down on her and he caught it?
Starting point is 00:36:12 But nevermind, Jason says, she didn't catch you in bed having a threesome and you didn't catch her in bed having a threesome. And that's the worst thing to Jason. It's not just an affair, it's a freaky affair because he only likes couch sex. So it's like, oh my God, at least it wasn't two people that she was sleeping with at the same time.
Starting point is 00:36:30 So back to Jada's house, and he was like, so I was gonna ask if there's something like the straw that broke the camel's back, or is it just like building up in your tart of it? I'm like, those are the same things, but that's okay. So Brunio's like- That's literally what that means. Was it like, there was like one instance where just like you said, I can't take it anymore.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Or is it more just like there was a stride that broke the camel's back? And Brittany's like, well, he was like going out to the bar and stuff and coming home and having horrible hangovers. I would make him mean as a fucking snake. And snakes, which is so funny because that's always what he's accusing her of, you know? So of course that's what he does, opens a bar and then stays out with fans all night getting shit faced.
Starting point is 00:37:16 And I'm sure totally keeping his dick in his pants the whole time too. So our snakes, by the way, is this why snakes have such a bad reputation? They're all just hung over. They're hung over. He is so hung over. He's as mean as a snake.
Starting point is 00:37:29 So next morning I'm asleep and Cruz and I are in my bed and here comes Jax barreling in and he comes in like, why is the Luke texting me right now asking if I need someone to talk to because of what I'm going through? And finally after he's been screaming to me for hours and hours and And he was like, and with Cruz. So had you finally just had so much that your head was gonna explode or was it more like a straw that broke the camel's back situation?
Starting point is 00:37:55 I'm sorry, no, yeah, I failed to see the difference between the two of those situations. Uh-huh, so I packed my bags and we got the hell out of that house. The second I got in that Uber, it said, do you prefer your ride to be conversational or quiet? And I said, I prefer to be told I am pretty. And the second I got in that Uber, he said, you look pretty today ma'am. And I started crying. The Uber that I got into said, do you prefer a conversation quiet or do you prefer it not
Starting point is 00:38:27 talking? So Brittany's like, well, there have been a lot of things I've taken Jax back for. I've been traded on, I've been disrespected, I've been humiliated, I've been through a lot of pain in this relationship and it has been very public. The pain I've had to deal with is just with us, and I just can't deal with it anymore. And you know, I think there have been ups and downs to Jack's personality.
Starting point is 00:38:50 It's all really hard on me, and he needs to go to therapy. Yeah, that's, first of all, he's never gonna go to therapy, or true therapy, but second of all, good for you for finally acknowledging this, that like, that you have been humiliated and disrespected by this man and it's time to leave. Yeah. Jax, therapy wouldn't help somebody like Jax.
Starting point is 00:39:12 He's beyond, he doesn't think he needs it. He doesn't think he needs it. He's one of those who would just go and use, learn how to use words as a weapon, you know? Which is kind of, therapeutic words as a weapon. Which he's already kind of doing. I mean, look at him. He's like, I'm just so triggered.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Like, oh, okay, Jax. So Jax and Jason, Jax is like, yep, yep, yeah, I need to go to therapy, totally gonna do that. Or maybe like go on a doctor and go on an antidepressant or something, just something to take the edge off. It's just a little something. I think you need to stop doing things that put the edge on.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Cokie. OK, Cokie Roberts. First of all, and second of all, antidepressants aren't there to take the edge off. It's not a fucking glass of Chablis weirdo. Glass of Chablis. So Jason's like, well, just do something and try to repair the marriage, bro. Like if that's what you want. It's like, yeah, I just I really think I pushed pushed her over the edge and if I don't do anything,
Starting point is 00:40:07 it's going to continue and I have to get help. I have to get help and then not use it. So, Jax is like, the thing is I just want to be happy. I want her to be happy. I didn't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I don't know. Oh man. I don't know. I should probably just have to sit down a conversation with Brittany and see where she is. And, but I don't know. I should probably just have to sit down and conversation Brittany and see where she is. But I can't continue arguing all the time with drunky over there, you know what I'm saying, everyone? She's wasted right now, I bet. It's miserable not only for me, but for her
Starting point is 00:40:33 and more importantly, our son, whatever his name is. I mean, it's confusing for me, you know? Just like life is probably confusing for Brittany because she's always so drunk. So yeah, I'm gonna work on myself. Gonna work on myself. So then Michelle's talking about her going through the mediator and stuff for her divorce and Brittany is like, I'm at a tipping point. And by the way, I'm just not all the way there yet though, right? Because like maybe, you
Starting point is 00:40:56 know, I don't want to let my family down. You know, mama, it was so hard talking to my mom, mama, me mom, papa, papa, poochy, douche, everybody's liking Jax in the first place, and then they finally kinda like him, and now I'm gonna have to disappoint him. No, just listen, everybody loves to hear, you're right. Just go home and say, hey guys, you were correct. Everybody would be so happy if Brittany showed up in Kentucky with that kid, Jax Free.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Oh, they'd be thrilled. So now the big scene, Brittany and Jax's free. Oh, that'd be thrilled. So now the big scene, Brittany and Jack's house. So Brittany, well, actually this is not the big scene. This is the, before the big scene. So Brittany is at the house and she's telling him Cruz is crying and she's like, Hey, don't cry. Auntie Kristen and uncle Zach are coming over. Why do you think the kid's crying? My God, if a baby could run fast enough, you know. There could be nothing more terrifying
Starting point is 00:41:48 than Zach and Kristen showing up. Hi, baby. How are you, baby? Seriously, baby? Seriously, I wanna take you, baby. I just tried to hug your baby and it started crying like a little petsy-wetsy. All right, I'm stretching it now. I'm stretching it. Okay, anyway, we just came to support you. You didn't do anything wrong. Fuck that guy.
Starting point is 00:42:13 And she's like, Yeah, I mean, it's just been real difficult. Let's go outside. It just feels weird. And so Kristen's like, Yeah, it does feel weird being here. I mean, like, I mean, for you must even feel weirder, you know, because like, even when I opened the door, I was like, Oh, for you, it must even feel weirder, you know? Because even when I opened the door, I was like, oh my God, it's in Jax's house right now, but he's not there. So they're there with it. They're there doing stuff while he's gone. So she, oh, so when she said I've been in this Airbnb,
Starting point is 00:42:53 it didn't mean like this is an Airbnb. It meant like, oh, I've got this Airbnb. I think- I was like, wait. I think that the, yeah, cause I think that's what Kristen's saying. She's saying this house feels so different. Yeah, that makes sense. So exactly. I think, now I'm questioning's what Kristen's saying. She's saying this house feels so different. Yeah, that makes sense. So exactly.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Now I'm questioning everything that I've just seen. But just remember this show, nobody knew if it was gonna be a success and they are filming it with $5. So they were probably like, guys, we're bringing the cameras up, which means we're all shooting at Britney's today. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:19 We're gonna use our reunion budget to film this episode. Okay. Yeah. Commercials, here comes one right now. to use our reunion budget to film this episode. Okay. Yeah. I'm Shimon Liayi and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize.
Starting point is 00:43:52 This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge, and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry+. So Zach is like, well honestly, Brittany, the fact that you lasted this long, what was this bad? I mean, we've seen it be bad for quite some time. I mean, the amount of shit that we've talked behind your back, it's like honestly hilarious. And it's a testament to your character of trying to work on stuff but now you can laugh with us instead of us laughing at you. So welcome, welcome. Yeah, and Christian's like, yeah, Jax thinks that she's gonna come crawling back and begging
Starting point is 00:44:54 and he's in for a rude awakening. You know, he would not be where he is right now had you not wanted to work on the relationship and be like, okay, let's work on us. He would not have anything that he has and that's only because of you. And she's saying, yeah, you know, I mean, he's got like narcissism because I got my own friends and my own family here in LA. And he said, I don't got nobody without him and no friends. And I got my own money. I can take care of my own family here in LA. And he said, I don't got nobody without him and no friends. And I got my own money.
Starting point is 00:45:25 I can take care of my own damn self. And like, I have enough control of my life to take care of myself. And that's that. And she tells us that after Vanderpump Rules was over, that she stepped it up and she was doing a lot of influencer gigs and stuff like that. And so his ego was all hurt
Starting point is 00:45:43 that she was making all the money. And it hurt, you know, it made him butthurt. Now, did it make him butthurt enough to go out and work? No. No. No. He just wanted to take all the money that she was making and still treat her like crap.
Starting point is 00:46:00 So he talked about how it hurt his manhood. And it was great. It was actually great to hear. I never really thought about, I don't think about bringing that much, but like, uh, to hear that she actually did kind of like figure out how to get money coming back in that household. It was actually pretty impressive. I mean, I just, I feel like I kind of dismissed everything she was doing over the past few years, like, Oh, whatever's Jackson, Brittany, but sort of in this light, I was like, Oh, you know what? That's actually pretty cool that she did that.
Starting point is 00:46:25 So then they go back inside again. They've like changed. They've gone inside, outside, inside, outside. They're back inside. And she's like, All right. Well, enough talking about my drama. OK, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you have a full time boyfriend now.
Starting point is 00:46:40 And he's like, I do. I do. It's been like six months. And like, what's crazy is he's already been disinvited to three events by Janet. It's amazing. We knew we were meant to be together because the minute he saw me, he came up, took my head off and threw it at angry mushrooms
Starting point is 00:46:59 and killed them. His name is Super Mario. He's the sweetest guy I've ever known in my life. So then Zach tells a story about how he and Kristen went to Miami because she got some kind of like sculpting thing done. It wasn't lipo, but it was like lipo adjacent. And he was in the room with her.
Starting point is 00:47:21 And as they were like removing the fat, it like squirted out of her and onto his arm. So then to sad news, we find out that Kristin finally found out that she was pregnant and lost the baby, which is so sad. That's so sad. Yeah, it really is sad. And so she's, you know, they all hug and they talk about how they're there for each other. And then now it's time for the big scene. Brittany and Jax, face off. So now they have to have the talk.
Starting point is 00:47:58 So he's like, where are you? She's like, I'm up there. You coming down here? No. Would you want me to come up there then? Yeah. You controlling fuck, okay? She's packing shit because she doesn't get to live
Starting point is 00:48:11 in this house anymore. So she's there to pick stuff up, you piece of shit. Yeah, you can walk up the stairs. Yeah. So he goes up there and he's like, so what's the plan? She goes, well, you're not gonna get away with how you treated me all these years acting all calm. Cool, calm, collected.
Starting point is 00:48:24 You're just not. And he was like, well, I think, I think the space that we have is good. You know, I thought about it. I talked with friends about it. Fuck some girls to really process my emotions. And you know, Oh, Oh, I have a therapy appointment on the 26th. Oh, so you finally made an appointment. He's like, yeah. When? Yes. I did it yesterday. Oh, so you made a therapy appointment the day before cameras come up. Got it. I did it because yesterday was the time to do it.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Okay. Like, yeah, Jackson's been saying he's going to therapy for years now, but the day before we pick up cameras, he all of a sudden has an appointment to go see a doctor. This is all the front. Okay. This is what he wants people to see because he's actually, he wants people to think he's actually going he wants people to think
Starting point is 00:49:05 he's actually gonna do these things, but guess what? I'll bet you money he ain't gonna do it. And then it just cuts him. It just cuts to Jack's and his confessional. He goes, I did make an appointment, but I didn't go. I ain't go. I was like, yeah, no, it wasn't being filmed. So what's the point, you know?
Starting point is 00:49:23 And the producer was like, well, were you afraid to go? He goes, yeah. And it's like really far. It's in Malibu. So she's like, but if you make that appointment a month and a half ago or two months ago. The only place you can find therapy in all of Los Angeles is fucking Malibu.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Nope, they wouldn't have it in the like a well populated city portion of Los Angeles. Not where all the actors live. Nope, only in Malibu. Nope, they wouldn't have it in the like well populated city portion of Los Angeles, not where all the actors live. Nope, only in Malibu. Oh, I think you're mistaken, Ronnie. He meant that he booked an appointment for therapy with Jesse's dog. Distance. Malibu.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Hi, meet my dog, Distance. No, I have a therapy appointment with Malibu. Okay, so he's like, well, I mean, if have a therapy appointment with Malibu. Okay, so Brittany's like, Well, I mean, if you made an appointment a month and a half ago, maybe, maybe you'll love me. I think Brittany, here's my thing. I don't think that it's necessarily fake what Brittany's doing necessarily, but I do think that she thinks she's making this big stand and now Jax is gonna, she's gonna do, make
Starting point is 00:50:23 this big move and so Jax is gonna suddenly improve. No, you married a horrible human being. He's not gonna ever not be a horrible human being. Like, that's just it. What are you gonna do? Exactly, and she's like, okay, do you want me back? Are you gonna sit there and let me go? Because I will go, which already there being like,
Starting point is 00:50:41 like I want you to fight for me to stay, does make me alarmed that she's actually not, doesn't actually want to leave. She does. She's not gonna say she does not actually want to leave. And what was sad and funny only in the way, because we've watched this couple for so many years and it's like, they're so pathetically nonchanging is that he started out the scene where she said, well, I'll bet you really feel something now. And he's like, I've loved it. It's been great.
Starting point is 00:51:06 I think we needed the break. I've been loving it. He's like, I do want you back, okay? I do want you back, but you left me and that was hard for me at the time. But like, it's actually been nice. Like, don't you agree this has been nice? He goes, I think it's been amazing.
Starting point is 00:51:23 But do you not realize why I decided to leave you? These are things that I need you to address. You took away my safe space. You took away all of that from me. I had to uproot myself in my child." And he's like, well, you didn't have to. She's like, I did have to. He goes, well, it wasn't that bad. I mean, there was arguing, of course. And maybe I gassed that you here and there made people think that you're a raging alcoholic, couldn't control your liquor, maybe a bad mom. I don't know, maybe unfit to raise a child in any sort of situation. But I think, you know, you know, it could have worked out, could have worked out. It's like, you know, I mean, we could have worked it out at least to like, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:57 where we don't talk like that while we raise our child. Oh, okay. She's like, so you want me to live in the same house as someone who disrespect me and been horrible to me and put me in a toxic living situation for so long and just live in separate bedrooms like everything's okay. And he's like, sounds good to me. Someone's gonna take care of this kid. Yeah, this guy's such a fucking pig. It's just sad seeing her want something different when it's just not going to
Starting point is 00:52:26 happen. So she's like, yeah. And you screamed to me and you said horrible things to me and you said, I have no friends because I never said that. I mean, you've got all those fucking teenage pregnancy, Kentucky people. You know, a sad moment was when she goes, why haven't you done anything? Why haven't you changed? I'm like, well, Brittany, that's, that's the problem is that Jackson's not going to change. So, um, she's like, you know, as soon as these cameras drop, you're going to rage
Starting point is 00:52:54 text me a million messages and talk horrible to me. You're going to raise the shit out of me. Be real, be real. I don't know how to, how to talk to you anymore. It sucks. I feel fricking weird being in my own bedroom. And he's like, we talk to each other every day. She says. I feel freaking weird being in my own bedroom. And he's like, we talk to each other every day. She goes, yeah, we talk about cruise every day. We don't talk about other things. And he's like, uh, that's what space is supposed to be, Brittany.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Okay. You're doing space wrong. Yeah, but that's what I'm home. I'm not saying I want to talk to you more. I don't. Okay. And he's like, I'm just, he tells us, I'm just sitting here waving the white flag saying, I surrender, which actually the year's 100% not what's happening, but we still clearly can't be in the same room together without arguing. So I don't know what else to do to show you I'm trying here, except make more perfunctory appointments for therapy that I'm never gonna go to.
Starting point is 00:53:41 I mean, what else do I have to do? Yeah, so she's like, he's like, listen, there's no reason we can't, look, I know we need our space, but we can coexist. And she's like, oh yeah, well, you can't go to TMZ and say, Brittany moved back in. He's like, I never said that. She's like, oh really? Here it is.
Starting point is 00:53:58 And it cuts to Jacks on TMZ. They're like, so what's going on with Brittany? Does she still hate you? He's like, ask her, she's living in the house right now. We're totally back together. Just banged her. Brittany, what? They're like, so what's going on with Brittany? Does she still hate you? He's like, ask her, she's living in the house right now. We're totally back together. Just banged her. Brittany, what?
Starting point is 00:54:09 My wife who I love and who loves me? Yeah, she came begging for me. It's just such a fucking liar, this guy. Yeah, she's like, you know, it made people think that I'm lying. And she says, you know, out of all the times Jax has embarrassed me publicly, you would think he would grow out of that.
Starting point is 00:54:24 And as the mother of his child, then he still goes on national TV and blatantly lies. Like when he, like he goes in House of Villains and says, I had a stroke, when he knew it was already ruled out, but I hit him. Who does that? Who goes and lies for attention?
Starting point is 00:54:37 He does. That shit was funny though. He went on House of Villains and then we see a clip of him doing it. He's like, yeah, my wife just had a stroke. I'm like, what? Fucking hell. It's wild.
Starting point is 00:54:53 So yeah, but look, here's the thing. I'm so glad Brittany's out of this. Brittany, at the end of the day, she is kind of a sweet girl. Even despite all of her faults, she's still Brittany. It's like she is kind of a sweet girl. You know, even despite all of her faults, she's still Britney. It's like she's still like a sweet girl. Her biggest fault is Jack's.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Her biggest fault is marrying Jack's. She's, she seeked this guy out, went to Vegas, found him. It's like, here's your prize. You know what I mean? Congrats. But that was so long ago. Like I just want to see her do better. I don't want to see her really get away from this guy.
Starting point is 00:55:25 And I just don't believe she's doing it. I don't believe it. It makes it sad. I mean, she's, I hope she, I hope she does stay like forge a new life for herself because she's like, you know, saying how she feels so much stronger now and like she knows her worth and she knows that she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship like this. And she's saying like, what was I thinking? Saying so long. She goes, do you think I'm just going to think I'm just a deep bouncer from Airbnb to Airbnb?
Starting point is 00:55:49 Like what do you want? And he's like, no, no. He does the thing where he points to his head and goes, I don't know, something's wrong up here. And I agree. I need help. I need help. I got a lot of demons and pent up aggression and I don't deal with it.
Starting point is 00:56:00 And it's all pent up inside. And I take out my meanness on you. And she's like, yeah, and that sucks right there that I had to move out for you to realize. And by the way, no, he doesn't want you moving from Airbnb to Airbnb. He wants you to move to Kentucky is what he wants you to do. He wants it to be so he doesn't have to take care of that kid at all or even see him or even deal with him at all. He wants you to be completely gone in Kentucky and he can be the deadbeat fucking loser we all know he is. Like, why prolong it?
Starting point is 00:56:27 Yeah, he's like, oh man, it's just hard for me to ask for help. The men in my life, we don't show our emotions. We just bury that shit. She's like, no, I bury my emotions. Look at our marriage, okay? You let emotions out in a very aggressive way. Yeah, oh, it's just me. That's just how I was raised with Ben.
Starting point is 00:56:45 No, it's not that you're broken. You're a breaker. You're off breaking other people, you fuck. So she's like, okay, let's just not fight in front of Cruz, okay? Are you going to pick him up from after school? And then he gives us his big, it's been amazing. It's been like an amazing nine years. It really has.
Starting point is 00:57:01 You know, I have no regrets. And I love Brittany, really do. Love her, great. Love my wife, great. She's great, she's great. You know, the only thing that has, you know, I have no regrets. And I love Brittany really do love her. Great. Love my wife. Great. Great. Great. You know, the only thing that'll, uh, you know, uh, the only thing that's going to make our break this time is that, you know, what are we going to do? I love her. Love her. Great girl. Great kid. Bye. Okay. Bye. He says he has no regrets. You literally cheated on her. Like you, you had sex with faith in front of the old lady.
Starting point is 00:57:26 She was caretaking. Like you have no regrets about that. Like how do you say you have many things? Yeah. There's some like maybe you regret the way you talk to her or you could have made more of an effort. I mean, any, at least fake some regrets, dude. So Brittany is like, you know, he's put me through a lot, but I wouldn't have Cruz if I got rid of him a long time ago. So Brittany's like, you know, he's put me through a lot, but I wouldn't have Cruz if I got rid of him a long time ago. So, you know, I just think now that I've Cruz and I've woken up from this situation, I just feel like for his sake, my mental health,
Starting point is 00:57:53 I just can't be here anymore. I just can't. And then we see a flashback of their relationship. And I guess we're supposed to cry. But I was just like, okay, like it was basically like a parade of red flags to me. Yeah. I mean, it was just like watching a parade of red flags. And I was like, and now we're supposed to believe that you just woke up and realized this was wrong. Get the fuck out of here with that.
Starting point is 00:58:20 And that scene where they showed, remember the place on PCH that he proposed at, and then he told everyone there were dolphins jumping in the background and it was in front of the freeway. If you remember, of course that was at, um, Oh, fish place. Yeah. Neptune, Neptune's net.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Yeah. Neptune's net. One of, yeah. Yeah. So, uh, Arby's like, congrats. No offense. Neptune's net. We'd love you. So that's wonderful. Uh,by's, like congrats. No offense, Junsnet, we love you.
Starting point is 00:58:45 So- That's wonderful. That's it, Jax is a piece of shit, Brittany. Please be strong and do literally anything else, please. I mean, this man has you living in an Airbnb with your son. Please do better, please. I know Jax won't, but you can. Well, that was a great first season,
Starting point is 00:59:03 a shockingly great first season of The Valley. My expectations were so low. They were in the basement. I was not looking forward to even touching the show. And I wound up being one of the best shows of the year. So it really was. Go figure. It was great. It was great from beginning to end. Great job, Bravo.
Starting point is 00:59:21 And I don't know, maybe they'll throw together a reunion at some point. They really should. It's wild. But in the meantime, thanks everyone for listening. We're now all caught up and we are going to dive back into current recaps tomorrow. We'll catch you on the next one, everyone. Bye. Bye.
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Starting point is 01:01:56 Beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mass we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to we're obviously talking about the biggest scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the B-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise. Mother, a mother to many. Follow, let me say this on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcasts. Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.
Starting point is 01:02:39 She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef. But this story didn't end with a happily ever after. When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, call 911. As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they look at would be the spouse. We understand that's usually the way they do it.
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