Watch What Crappens - #2457 RHONJ S14E06 Part 1: Fuda Fighters

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recap!It’s John Fugazi Fuda VS Teresa this week on Real Housewives of New Jersey (S14E06) and Danielle has her first runway show at NY Fashion Week. Both plotlines are horrifying to watch. Let’s do it! Watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watch her crap and add free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Once Upon a Beat. Join me. DJ Fuse. And my trusty turntable, Baby Scratch, for a weekly jam packed party as we remix and reimagine classic stories for the kids in your life today. Once Upon a Beat is a new kids and family podcast from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip hop and fables meet.

Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad free right now on Wondry Plus. Once Upon a Beat. Once Upon a Beat. Join me, DJ Fuge, and my trusty turntable, Baby Scratch, for a weekly jam packed party as we remix and reimagine classic stories for the kids in your life today. Once Upon a Beat is a new kids and family podcast

from Wondry and Tinkercast, where hip-hop and fables meet. Listen to Once Upon a Beat early and ad-free right now on Wondry+. Once Upon a Beat. early and ad free right now on 1G+. What's upon a beat? What happens when this so much that happens? What happens when this so much that happens? What happens when this so much that happens? What happens when this so much that happens? What happens when this so much that happens?

What happens when this so much that happens? Hi everybody, this is me, Rondel, and that's Ben over there. Thank you so much for being here today. We're so excited. It's a big day for us because we get to catch up with Real Housewives of New Jersey. I know it's a rough season in a lot of people's eyes. I still really enjoy New Jersey personally. Yeah, me too.

I love it. New Jersey has always been a toxic goddamn mess and I love it. I have some food problems, whatever, but you're always gonna have problems on a show that you love, guys. That's just, that's how life goes. But I'm enjoying it. We're glad to be back with it.

Thanks for being with us. Check out video over on Patreon and also our bonus episodes. This week we are going to talk about what we did in Europa Thanks for being with us. Check out video over on Patreon and also our bonus episodes. This week we are going to talk about what we did in Europa and we are also going to do a real housewives of Orange County trailer trash, which is where we trash a trailer.

It's gonna be fun times. Also this week, guess what comes back? House of the Dragon, which means our Game of Thrones podcast is returning. It is called Winter is Crappening. You can find that on its own feed, Winter is Crappening, or right here on this feed. Okay. So we'll see what don't forget to watch that on Max HBO. We will be doing that this week.

Okay. You have anything to say Ben before we get into it? I just hope that for House of Dragons this time, they invest in some lighting for the show. Like I would love to see more than just like some closed captions and a black screen because that's basically what season one was. Excuse me, it's called a blue screen and no you cannot see anymore, it's stylistic.

It's like people dating me asking for more lights. You're never gonna get more lights, okay? You're gonna see a blob coming at you in the dark. And that's just how I thought. A few torches. Yeah, a few torches here and there. You know, the flicker of a phone as I get a text. That's all you're gonna see, okay?

Yeah, that's gonna be a good one. I'm so excited to see all the different eggons. I've really missed the eggons, I've gotta tell ya. I know, I'm excited. We're gonna have a fun time with that. So Aiden and Jen, okay, so let's talk a little bit about what happened last time. Last time, yeah, yeah, had a bougie party for kids. I got a bougie party

because I'm gonna have a kid's life in fashion week. Can you believe it? They're letting me into fashion week. No, I can't believe it. Who the fuck is letting you into fashion week? And then this week we get to see these fashions and they're fucking terrible. That's awful.

They're terrible. Even by Jersey standards, those are terrible. This is when we need the House of the Dragon lighting. Let's just have a black screen. Let's just have those kids walking in the dark because we don't need to see it. No, we don't even need the House of the Dragon lighting. We need the House of the Dragon dragons.

Burn it all to the ground, I say. Sometimes there's just no starting over. because we don't need to see it. No, we don't even need the house of the dragon lighting. We need the house of the dragon dragons. Burn it all to the ground, I say. Sometimes there's just no starting over. You just need the cleansing fire of a gigantic mall-sized dragon. Yeah, I mean, honestly. Now, I mean, like maybe that's why that king, like, was, his cheeks were falling off of him in that show

because he had witnessed bougie kids. It was like, I mean, that would make my skin fall off too. Sizzle. Bougie kids. So, uh, she had a bougie party because, you know, I can't invite everyone to the thing because, you know, it's like, uh, uh, you know, I, I got to invite family and friends. You haven't completely gotten cut off every family and friend member that you have because you're a cutter offer, ma'am, okay? Cutting off your poor defenseless father.

So basically what she's saying is she did not invite Teresa, but she did invite Melissa because Melissa has been her mentor, LOL, because of Melissa's corndog kiosk or whatever the fuck she runs with fake Chanel bags coming out by the dozen. So Melissa has been her mentor. So of course she's gotta invite Melissa to BoozyKids. Yeah, and

which we know is going to turn into an issue that she invited Melissa instead of Teresa that will it hasn't didn't pop up this episode, but I'm sure in the next one or into it will be a thing. And so she has this brunch for all the women to go to to celebrate bougie kids. And Rachel Futa is there. And Rachel and Teresa are having an issue. Rachel Futa, we've been really down on the Futas this season. I didn't mind them last season, but this season they're doing too much. And I think that they're really at fault for why people are not reacting well to the season because they're being so over the top about something stupid. I mean, when you're, when your vibe last season with John Fuda is like, yeah, whatever the stupid, stupid, stupid lady's

doing lady things. And then this season when Teresa says, Oh, he's a drug dealer. And he's going to like, they're going to make this a thing. Teresa is just saying some stupid bullshit and they're turning it into the cornerstone of their storyline. Like, why would you call him a drug dealer? Cause he was a drug dealer. I'm sorry. Sorry. It's like, it's not. When he was 17, he was a fucking drug dealer. Who cares? Give me his number. You know what I mean? It's not compelling enough of a feud. It's not, it's like, it's, it's, the food does are taking it like from zero to 70 and it's just not,

it just feels like a reality show feud as opposed to some of the other things that we see on these shows, friendships, realigning, et cetera. So I think the fact that this is dominating so much of what we're watching is I think turning people off. Yeah, I mean, it's, and also a man yelling at a woman isn't great, John Futa. I mean, it's really a bad look for you, sir. That you're making your whole thing like,

okay, I'm gonna come on, I'm gonna get the second season How So I've Glow Up, I'm gonna get some lipo and make myself an IMDB page and then I'm gonna come start yelling at women. I don't think so sir Okay, you're acting like a drug dealer. Stop it. So he also by the way was a drug dealer I think it's very important to say that because a I feel like we need to stop giving drug dealers a bad rap Do you know how hard drug dealers work to get me drugs? Occasionally when I need them and other people need them, you can't just go into a goddamn CVS, okay, and get those.

People are putting their lives at risk to get me drugs. And especially when it's just weed. That was just weed. So leave the man alone. He was doing the service. But also John Futa, don't be such a wuss. You were a fucking drug dealer and you guys can't use this whole thing of like,

but we have children. You can't say that. It hurts the children. Well, didn't you spend the whole last season talking about Jayden's mom and how she's in drugs? She's she's a drug addict and gave up her son because she was a drug addict and went to prison and all that. Well that hurts her kid too. So you guys don't get to have it both ways. Okay. You started it.

And if someone says you were a drug addict, you say that was when I was 17 grow the fuck up. You know, you've been to jail much more recently. The end. Stop letting it get you like this. You're not a housewife. No one hired you for that, sir. Back down. Yeah, I think it's just, it doesn't, it feels like these are people who are like felt after their first season, they didn't make enough of an impression. They're going really hard to really make sure they are centered in the show. And they have been centered in the show. They're like really centered.

And there's too much other stuff going on for this to take up as much room on the show as it does. But that being said, I'm still enjoying it as well. I'm with you on this. I think the show is still really entertaining. I'm not at a place where I'm like, I don't wanna watch anymore. I think it's a great cast. And I think they show is still really entertaining. I'm not at a place where I'm like, I don't wanna watch anymore. I think it's a great cast.

And I think they're still entertaining. You know, a lot of people are loving the Fudas too. You know, there's the other side of it. Like last week when they were fighting at this bougie brunch, because one thing about Fuda, Rachel, well, both of them, but it's gross when he does it, but it's not gross when she does it because she is a housewife.

But when she's fighting, it is really nice to see someone who doesn't give a fuck about Teresa and someone who's not afraid and someone who's just yelling right back in her face and calling her a loser and everything else, because this is the real housewives of New Jersey and it is nice to see some fearless somebody. So I like that about her. I think she's got that going on, but people were like, Oh my God, she ate because last week when she came against Teresa

and she was like, you fucking loser, you've been to jail. What have you ever done? Well, first of all, what has she ever done? You're on the show that she's kind of the star of and has been for 14 years. So when she says, what have you built? Like literally the show, you know? Look around you because you wouldn't be here on the show

probably if it weren't for Teresa. Like it almost crashed when she was in prison. Love her or hate her and we do both. you know, look around you because you wouldn't be here on the show probably if it weren't for Teresa. Like it almost crashed when she was in prison. Love her or hate her and we do both. But then I thought that was pretty good though when she was like, what did you build? You fucking loser, you've been to prison, all this. And then Teresa just goes, oh yeah,

isn't your husband a pocket attendant or something? And she's like, she's like, oh yeah, Teresa, he's just a parking attendant. She goes, yes, so maybe a drug dealer will be better. Maybe it will be better. Blink blink blink blink. And I thought that was so good. So when people are like, oh, my God, food to eight.

Yeah, but Teresa ate harder, you know, food was a little fish that came and ate something. But then Teresa was a whale and she came in and ate that shark. So credit where it's due. Yeah, it was pretty entertaining. And then the Jackie and Marge rift continues to grow, which it just has me, I'm like really, that to me is like the bigger story here.

I think that's like terrible. I hate that they are not like friends anymore. I, it just seems like, I don't know. I don't know what happened. I think that what- I do. But I wanna hear your theory. Okay, my theory is this, cause this is what I've noticed that happens

with people in general a lot. When people are going through like a tough time or whatever, and then they finally come out of it, I have noticed that whereas you would think the people that helped them through that tough time, they would cling on to harder because it's like, wow, you supported me in my darkest hours.

A lot of times people actually cast off those friends because I think it reminds them, those people remind them of the hard time that they went through. And I think actually that may be what Jackie is doing right now. She obviously, she has been very public about her eating disorder and going through it.

And she has been healing and it's been really wonderful to see. And I would not be surprised if she is like, if Margaret may remind her of some of her dark moments, you know, that she was personally facing. Do you think it's like when you loan somebody money and then they resent you for it? I don't know why. I don't know why I'm comparing it to that.

It just seems like the similar kind of thing. Like somebody helped you, but then you're resenting the help because it reminds you of the fact that you needed that you needed them or what? I had a friend, how about this? I had a friend whose husband left her up, like up and left her out of nowhere and then took her in and helped her out a lot. And then when she sort of got back on her own two feet,

like that was sort of like, we didn't hang out again after that. She sort of like went on and made new friends. And I think that I, well, maybe I was just annoying as fuck. I will totally be open to that. She's like, whoa, I'm not gonna do that again. But I kind of think that like, if it wasn't just me, there was actually a few different people.

And I think that we reminded her of like a terrible time in her life. And- That's interesting. So I think that could be part of it. My theory on this, and I say, I know what happened. I don't know, of course I don't. But what I think, my guess is what happened there is an ozempic fight.

And I take that, I take weight loss medications, not ozempic specifically, but I take semi-glutide shots or whatever to lose weight. And guess what? I don't care. So come after me all you want, commenters. But it's really helped me a lot and I think it helps a lot of people. But one thing that is happening in the country and we're seeing it happen is people fighting,

people attacking people who are taking it, people abusing it, people who don't really need to be taking it, taking it just to be thin. And there are all sorts of unhealthy things going on with it, both people using it or using it incorrectly or whatever, but it's also really helping a lot of people.

So, you know, I say thank God for that shit. But anyway, we're seeing a lot of Ozempic fights in the country or in the world. I noticed it in the country, because that's where I live. But people fighting about it and people getting really nasty with each other and literally families going to war over this stupid thing. You know, there's, and I think that's what happened.

I think it's a good old fashioned Ozempic fight. I think Margaret is taking Ozempic and Jackie has an eating disorder and now because Jackie's eating disordered and open about it, she's extremely sensitive to eating issues and so it's triggering her and she talks about this publicly, she's talked about it in interviews,

that it's very triggering for her as someone who is struggling to eat, right? And to not be anorexic, which is her problem. So she's, right? She's anorexia, or believe me, I'm sorry if I'm getting wrong, it's been a while. But I think that it's very triggering for her. And I think that Marge is like, fuck off.

You don't get to judge me. I'm fucking taking it and it's helping me, fuck off. Like I get that you have an issue, but it's like if your friend is an alcoholic, you can still have a martini. Well, you sure can, but not necessarily in front of them all the time at every single dinner and get sloshed.

You know what I mean? And so I think that there's something there and I don't know that it's rational, but I don't wanna call it irrational either because I know that it's really rough to have an eating disorder because I am eating disordered. So I get that side of it too. But I think my guess is this all stems from Ozempic.

And you know what? Well, I think actually both things can be true. And of course, there's a third aspect, which is that Margaret is like mourning. She's been in a year of mourning with Jan. Jan. And that's tough. And they both are probably in a place where they are kind of feeling very vulnerable and they kind of want to take more than they want to give. They want to take emotional support and I think they both are probably in a place where they both want to be supported more by each other

and they both can't really give that to each other. And so as a result, they're both kind of viewing each other as being selfish. Like you don't know what I'm going through. Like I need you right now. No, well I need you right now. No, well, I need you right now. So I just am like sad because I felt like they had like a really good friendship. And now to see Jackie go over to Teresa and Jennifer, who we know that Teresa and Jennifer don't give a fuck about Jackie.

Jennifer might a little bit, but they purely have embraced her only because she's turning against Margaret now. And I just feel like it's sad to watch it. It's really sad. And Jackie looks really sad. She doesn't look good. She looks very her eyes are puffy.

They're glazed over their bloodshot. She looks sad, like literally sad. So I don't know what's going on over there, but she's not looking good. And another aspect to this is that Jackie lost her job. Like you're you got fired, you got demoted, and you're still going to the office every day with people who were not demoted. And you're like, well, why is nobody sticking up for me?

It's like Margaret wanted to stick, Margaret wanted everybody to band together to quit the show if they kept on Teresa's husband or whatever. And they didn't do that. Jackie said no, so there's the resentment there. But it's like, well, why aren't you standing up for me when I got demoted? Why isn't everybody threatening to quit when I had

problems? So there's probably that too. Now granted, this is all stuff we have no idea about. We're just shooting the shit about. So who knows what's right, but there's a lot going on. And I think that Jackie's probably just got a whole shit storm of stuff going on that she doesn't feel good about. It's like, she thought that was her best friend. Her best friend doesn't care that she got demoted. And all she's doing is thinking about herself. And now she's giving herself, in what Jackie could be thinking, giving herself kind of an eating disorder.

When Jackie is fighting so hard against that, it might seem disrespectful to Jackie. And so she's like, well, shit, I need to get back on this show. And if it means being with people who hate me, obviously those people don't like me very much anyway. So fuck it, I'm gonna go to the dark side. But it's eating away at her soul,

like in movies where people start going to the dark side. It starts eating at their soul. Listen, you don't take off Darth Vader's mask and he doesn't look healthy, okay? He looks sad. Yeah, I don't think there's anything about his, uh, respiratory system that sounds healthy.

Just, he never looked good. He looked great by the Luke. Luke. Yeah, it's, uh, put your weight on me. Luke, put your weight on me. Luke, put your weight on me. Tighter. Luke, I'm your father.

Hug me. Hug me tighter. Hug me. Hug me tighter. Hug me tighter. Okay, well we can obviously, we probably could just go on and on and on about this relationship between these two people. We will.

And we will. We did. For a long time. But we actually have a show to recap. So let's get back into it. You would never know. You would never know it. Well, we're just yapping away. But I mean, it's like there's stuff, you know, we got to catch up. We missed a whole recap.

And you know, a lot of times we just get so involved in like, let's see these stupid voices and then I know that we missed talking about this stuff. And that I did believe that that was a real friendship. And so it was hard to watch it as a viewer. It's hard watching it. And to circle all the way back, that's why I'm upset that the FUTA thing has been centered because I actually think that this Margaret and Jackie thing is much more compelling because it's something that a lot of us have gone through. A friendship, you're tight, and then all of a sudden,

then it's like where it's going away and it's gone. And why is it, why did it happen? And you already related it to a personal story in your life. I related it to a personal story in my life. It's just a much more relatable thing. And I think it should really be, I'm surprised that Jackie's not a full-time cast member

to be honest, because it really should be a main driver, not like John Fuda being upset that Teresa called him a drug dealer as part of like a stupid fight in the first episode. It's like not, it was not even like a whole thing that she, you know, I don't even have to qualify it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

So I think the show should focus on the real shit more than the food shit. Yeah, the food shit is a bunch of bullshit. And they're just not compelling. But I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. So Aidan and Jen and Bill are in the kitchen talking to the kids.

We're with the Aydens basically. And I don't know, it's the beginning of the show. It's like they're playing that 50s music that mm-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-t like the meatball music. I don't know what this would be called, like meatball sock hop or whatever, this genre. But it's just everybody starting their days. And Jennifer, Jennifer Aiden's like, hello, is that nice, babe? Did you hear it? It was like a shriek.

And her kids are playing and her daughter's like, you scream like a little girl. And he's like, what? Like, you know, like you're pinching me. So I made a high pitched, he's like, I made a high pitched man noise. And Bill's like, hmm-pitched man noises. Hmm. It sounds like this It's like yeah, and then Bill goes

That bill laugh was hilarious. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Uh, uh, her kids like practicing the walk and she's like introducing Valentina Cabral and she does like her little sassy runway walk and Danielle's like, all right, can I get back to cleaning now? All right, got it. Got to finish cleaning now. Right. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap.

It's commercial. Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels. She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef. But this story didn't end with a happily ever after. When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground and I heard somebody say, call 911. As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised.

The first person they'd look at would be the spouse. We understand that's usually the way they do it. But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels… There are murders in all of the books that she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After,

Dan and Nancy early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo.

All the time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet

so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure.

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I'm like, why start? I'm trying to figure out Danielle's specific mouth breathing cause it's different than Dorinda's, but it's in the ballpark. So I'm trying to figure it out. I'll get there. Start with Darth Vader and then move from there. I like that fully Zerrinja. Zerrinja is back in the back of the room.

In the galaxy far, far away, someone fucked up somebody else and somebody made something that was made nice and somebody was not nice and then he barely back it up. Y'all is just more like that, more in the front of the room. More of a myth with the teeth. Just back here. Yeah, that was probably. By the way, Darth Vader would never stand a chance against Arinda. No.

Let me tell you something. You try to use the Force. You try to use the Force on me. You better back it up, cause I made a lasagna. Okay, that's a real Force here. You want to use the Force on me? Guess what I'm going to use.

Richard, why is this big red balloon chasing me so slowly? Hey, you better watch out. Richard, don't fuck around. Please, big red balloon, leave me alone. You know what? I like Darth. I like Darth. I think he's a little misunderstood.

I think that, you know, if you really think about Darth, he's just a guy in a mask. I'm going to invite him to the Berkshires. I think he'd get along with everyone. All right, so then we go to Theresa's house and Louis shooting basketball, huh? In the street, in the basketball court. And hitting bricks.

I love what, I just love a shady moment. Thank you, post-production. They showed Louis throw a basketball and they just have it brick off of the rim. It was great. So they're being wacky, like, can I play the basketball with you? He's like, I love you. I love you. Be good at that tree.

And she's wearing some weird outfit. She comes out sort of like dancing. It's what she actually does in the opening credits, which by the way, I still have to, I have to say, I am still cracking up both when Dolores goes, hello. And when Jennifer goes, thank you. I like laugh every single time in those opening credits. So they're trying to be sexy. Teresa's like, you want me to wear this to the gym?

You okay with that? You okay with that? And he's like, yeah, I know where you sleep at night. And ever since they said they fuck five times a day, you know, I just feel like they smell. They clearly smell. I don't even have to hear about them fucking to know that they smell.

I mean, there's probably so many oils. You don't have that many like fake, you know, Buddhist statues in your backyard when you're like Louis, if you're like Louis and Theresa, it's one thing if you're Buddhist. If you're not Buddhist and you have that many statues in your like New Jersey backyard by your pool, you're probably gonna have a lot of smelly oils too,

let's be honest. Yeah, that's true. Also, you're also gonna have a lot of debt because I feel like people with a lot of Buddhas have a lot of debt. They're just like, look how peaceful I am. Yeah, they're like, look how peaceful I am. I'm poor on purpose.

I'm like, no, you're negative because you are overspending on credit cards and not having a job, okay? We all know your ass is living off Teresa, so stop frontin' with your Buddhas. So over in the Gorgha household, they go and FaceTime with Antonia, and guess what? She's still in college.

Oh, my daughter is in college. Cry blink, cry blink, cry, cry, cry blink. And then guess what? Antonia is also in college. Literally, do not give a fuck. Don't give a fuck. Please stop putting this on my TV. Especially Melissa's children. I mean, Antonia's never done anything wrong. She seems like a real sweet girl. But Melissa, I can't. Why is Melissa still here?

What is she doing? What does she do? Yeah. Yeah, she hasn't not really done anything this season. I'm gonna say this is probably gonna be her final season because she's just not doing anything. So Melissa's saying how she can't drink any alcohol today because she had so many Cosmos yesterday at the bougie brunch. So she's like saying it was such a dramatic day, Joe. He's like, really? He's

like, yeah, it was just a really dramatic brunch. I mean, there was a part two where Danielle looked at Jen and Teresa and actually she was like, did you guys set me up? Because that was the other thing that would happen in that brunch was that Danielle confronted Teresa and Jennifer about setting her up last year in Ireland. And of course they denied it a whole. Jennifer is still doing this thing like, no baby, I never set you up.

I never set you up. I was just telling you something. I was passing on the news. You didn't have to say that stuff. You did it to yourself, baby. She's right. She did. She did just offer it up to her. I mean, she totally manipulated this girl, but it's not her fault you're dumb enough to do it. You know what I mean? Also, a big update from Jennifer Aiden. She posted this on Twitter a few days ago.

She saw a coyote on her block, which means that we have now graduated from to a, I love her tweets. They're so random. That was the whole tweet. It was, I mean, you're just sitting in front of the window like, It was, I mean, you're just sitting in front of the window like, Olivia, Olivia, please turn down the misarrival and we've heard it enough. God, what am I gonna tweet today?

What am I gonna tweet today? There's a fox on my back. Tweet, tweet. It's a coyote. Wait, it's just Bill wearing bunny ears. Okay, so Melissa, Melissa's boring still, breaking news to everybody. Here's where I think Teresa is making a really smart move,

even though Teresa's not the smartest, obviously, but I think here's a smart move that she's making by not engaging with Melissa at all. This is very smart, because normally she'll fight with Melissa or she'll make little comments here and there about Melissa. This season, she's just pretending Melissa is dead and a ghost. She's not, Melissa's trying so hard to roll her eyes,

to make snotty comments, to do all this stuff and like be on camera making these huge eyes every time Teresa enters a room. And Teresa is paying her dust and we're really seeing what Melissa brings to the show now because she has no one to fight with and it's nothing. It's nothing. So, yeah, good luck.

I mean, I've been on team Melissa since Melissa showed up. I've always been on her side, but I do have to admit she's really not doing anything so exciting this season. So Melissa is basically recapping this branch. It's like, oh, this is what you missed everyone. So she's talking about how, you know, like Danielle asked Jan and Teresa, did they set her up?

And of course they tried to twist it and be like, no, of course not. But she says that Danielle is trying to realize that like, oh, to be friends with them, you have to have their back, but they don't necessarily have your back. I mean, duh. So then we go to Teresa's house and she's making food. Listen, when it comes to Danielle, the duh,

I don't think she gets all the duds, you know? Like, it's duh for us, not for Danielle. Well, Danielle's a dummy, yeah, but I just fast forwarded through that scene already, because it's a Melissa scene, so I just listened to your part of it, and that was good enough for me. So then we go to Teresa's and Jackie comes over

because they're friends now. So let's see how this goes. So Teresa's like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, Jackie, hi, huh, Jackie's here, honey, Jackie's here, huh, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie.

Hi, Teresa. You know, I've only been over here once. I came over for your housewarming last year. So, Jackie. Theresa cannot be fake and it's so funny. Her face doesn't move. She sounds like she's smiling, but she's just like, her face isn't moving at all. And I know that's partially surgery and fillers

and Groupon, you know, Botox and stuff like that. But it's also just partly because she can't fake it. And I love it. Yeah. So Jack is like, I'm really excited that I'm hanging out with Teresa. And if I, you know, I was looking at this a year ago, I don't think I'd be able to explain to myself,

but I know I want to be surrounded by nice people and people that make me happy. So here we are. I'm like, Theresa's the one you chose? Theresa? I've just really been looking for happy, nice people to spend my time with. So I seeked out Theresa, Jude eyes, and here I am. I thought I'd hang out with the person who went around my husband's birthday party

and told everyone that he was having an affair at the gym. Yep, I decided to hang out with the person who ruined my parking lot party. So Adriana walks in the kitchen and Jackie's like, oh my God, I haven't seen you so long. I've actually never met you. This is only my second time ever being to this house. And Adriana is going into, she's gonna be a freshman.

Or as Teresa said, yeah, she started freshman. So. I don't know. Yeah, you know, like, you know in the school, you know, there's got a freshman, you know, she started freshman. She started freshman. So then.

You know, she could be soft drink. It's gonna be crazy. Jackie and Teresa trying to pretend that their friends are so funny. Jackie's like, oh, that's right. So Adriana, that's the one, she's a dancer, right? Well, she was a dancer and then she stopped. Oh, she stopped?

She started volleyball instead of dancing. You know, she's a volleyball now. Oh, that's fascinating. Yeah, she's in actual volleyballs. She's a volleyball. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because remember the other day at brunch, I wanted to leave. It was her volleyball game.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why I left the brunch, you know, because I just wanted to see her play the volleyball for me. And that was not why you left the brunch. You left the brunch because Fuda was feasting on you to get some air time. That's why you left the brunch. And also I have to say, when she did leave the brunch,

I was cracking up. She's like, all right now, I'm gonna go cause Adriana got some volleyball. And so she gets up and then she takes a party favor. This is like even the tackiest party favors for this bougie thing. She's taking out like a whole tray of stuff that's like, Bougie kids. Like I'm leaving.

Just trying to make your way to the parking lot with this huge parade float of crap from the dollar store that, uh, what's her buns has rebranded for bougie kids. This is basically a recurring theme this season, because I feel like the first episode, Teresa was also getting into a huge fight at the FUTA party and then still was like, but hold on, let me get my free stuff too. It's also very like Alexia and Marisol.

Yeah. So, um, getting their free jeans from Nicole, Dr. Nicole's brunch. So, uh, then we go back to the Gorga house and Melissa's saying how Jack was like trying to like vibe with Jen and Teresa and Joe's like, what? And she's like, yeah, I thought I was in Twilight Zone. So now we go back to Jackie and Teresa and Jackie's like, you know, I was very grateful that Margaret wasn't there because I just was like not in the mood. Am I right, girlfriend? Like we're best friends. We both hate Margaret now, right? Yeah, you know, I can't believe Sherlock Holmes wasn't there. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Sherlock Holmes?

Sherlock Holmes missed it? Oh my God. I can't believe Sherlock Holmes missed it. Guess who missed it? Guess who didn't come? Sherlock Holmes. Huh? Huh?

Jack is just like, that's hilarious. God, I've missed these good times that we had together. Hold on. I just have to go to the bathroom and just remind myself that this is all going to be worth it because I'll be on TV again. Okay, hold on one second. Okay, Jackie, turn off the part of your brain that is acting up right now. I love Teresa throwing shade at Margaret calling her Sherlock Holmes when Teresa and Louis are the ones who actively and who proudly and publicly have announced how they're best friends with Bo Deedle,

an actual private detective. We actually aren't a private detective. Oh my gosh, she's like, she like home. Oh, we looking things up. And it's like, you remember last season you guys were like, oh, we're best friends with Bo Deedle. Maybe it's because Sherlock Holmes is like an old timey private detective

and they have a newer one. I don't know, but it's because Sherlock Holmes is like an old timey private detective and they have a newer one. I don't know, but it's really weird. And then Jackie is, Jackie has now burned this bridge with Marge because she's going to Teresa's house to talk shit about Marge. I mean, that is just as low as you go. She's like, well, I just don't know where anything goes after this with Margaret.

I mean, she just seems so angry, you know? And that's not the way to go about making someone feel like they're wanted by you. Oh, you're not. You're no longer wanted. I can guarantee you will not ever be wanted again, because this is shit. Can't do that.

Yeah, so Melissa's saying, Melissa and Joe are still talking about it. Like they can't believe that Jackie's gonna talk shit about Margaret, you know? They just can't believe it whatsoever. And Joe goes about Margaret, you know? They just can't believe it whatsoever. And Joe goes, well, you know what the old saying is? What can you do for me lately? Do, do, do, do, do, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah.

That is not the saying. There's actually not a saying at all. What can you do for me lately? What can you do for me lately? Unless it's on his Instagram, where he has lots of strange sayings that he puts up there. Dan, it says technically, what have you done for me lately?

What can you do for me lately, Ronnie? What can you do for me lately? Yeah. You know, it's like, it's like the old saying Piso Mahato, wet floor. Two birds in your hand. Why why got birds in your hands it's like the old saying hey is that the door it's it's like the old saying my cups running over because it's got too much shit in it and now it's spilled on my shirt. Not what I do. Hey, it's like the old saying, babe, where are the forks? So, Gorgas, we go to the Gorgas and, or we're at the Gorgas, sorry.

Nevermind, we're done with that. So now we go to Teresa's house, back to Teresa's house, and Teresa's like, yeah, see, I love my friends because they stand in their power because I love powerful women. I really, really do. One lady made me a unicorn horn out of a toothbrush

and I wore it on my forehead. And when anybody tried to mess with me, I bucked them like a unicorn and they bled out their throats. Is this another prison story? Yeah. We're so close right now, Teresa. We are so close, Meanie. Yeah, I never felt like you and I were okay

until just this moment when we realized we could so close, man. Yeah, I never felt like you and I were okay until just this moment when we realized we could have a common enemy. Yeah, and like just like two weeks ago, yeah, but like, no, cause like I just, no, no, I want for you. I just want you to stand up for yourself all this time, you know, that's all I want from you. She did stand up for herself against you, you fucking monster. I have multiple times.

She literally said, your daughter does coke in the bathroom as a way to get through your thick skull. No, she said, what if I said your daughter does coke in the bathroom? What if I said? You're right. So just before we start a Real Housewives of New Jersey war, so Jackie's like, you know, I was just such a broken person for such a long time.

And Theresa goes, no, no, I mean, look at you. Like, I can see, I can see, like, you're not, like, it's not like you're Sherlock Holmes or nothing. But I'm not broken anymore. I'm not, I'm not, I swear I'm not. I am not broken. And she's like, yeah, I'm like so proud of you for whatever it is that you're broken from and picked from. I don not broken. And she's like, yeah, I'm like so proud of you for whatever it is that you're broken from and fixed from,

I don't know. And she's like, thank you so much. And like, I feel like the energy coming from you and Jen is just like, it's just like so much lighter and like so much more fun. That's Teresa, that's Teresa and Jen, light, love and light, those two. And Teresa's like, yeah, yeah, we're all about having fun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha all about having fun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh my God, by the way, Teresa, when you called John Fuda a parking attendant, I mean, I almost fell off my fucking chair. Well, that's what he is, a parking attendant. Yeah, but I was afraid I couldn't, Teresa, that's not what he is. And Teresa just is like, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.

I'm like, but he's parked cars. But we all park cars. You're parking your tent in two? And she's like, but how did you stay so calm, Theresa? Now I think that's a question we're all asking because this is a different season for Theresa. She is staying calm. What's up?

I think that Louie is prepping her. Sort of annoyingly. He's probably like, Okay, Theresa, she's gonna try to go off on you. And you gotta stay calm. You gotta stop. Do what the Buddha does by the pool. Stay calm. But he's so fat. Well, just do it more thinly. Do what the Buddha's doing. Just do it more thinly.

Alright. Alright. Let's practice. Alright. Theresa, you've been to jail. Let's do it more thinly. All right. All right. Let's practice. All right. Teresa, you've been to jail. Fuck you, you goddamn bitch. I'll fucking kill you. No, Teresa, like Buddha. Huh. I'm fat.

Good. Good. Just use your inside voice. Buddha has some real insecurities there. Teresa's just projecting all her yoga health onto the Buddha. I think that Teresa is calm because she just, it's so obvious what Rachel is doing that even Teresa can see it.

And that's how you know you've failed. Cause if you can't outfox Teresa Dudes, then you're really, you need to go back to the drawing board on that one. Yeah, and I think she's just sick of like these people coming for clout, you know, it's like, oh, I'm gonna go against Teresa first in clout and I'm gonna become the new leader of this show, you know?

And the jail thing is old at this point. Like in the first like one or two years after she got out of jail, you couldn't mention it. But at this point, Teresa has gotten used to people flinging the jail thing at her. So it doesn't really affect her in the same way. Well also, and I can't believe I'm saying this about Teresa, I feel like I need to go to church

after this recap, honestly, I don't even know who I am today, but I feel like Teresa's kind of a badass now because of that, it's like, okay, I went to jail. Like, do it affect? Yeah, it's like I went to prison, I should have been down and out, but then the show failed without me, then I came out of prison and I not only paid my debt,

I paid all of Joe's debt. I got the house all taken care of and I'm sending all my kids to college by myself and like flourishing. Like she's kind of a bad ass. So when you bring up the hardship, it's like, you just look like the asshole. You know what I mean? You're bringing it up too late. Yeah, it's just too late. Too late. It's not landing in the same way. Yeah. You know, if you really want to hurt her, get her where it hurts, you go after the daughters. Let's be honest.

They're putting G on TV now. Let's just start going after G. That's how to do it. Yeah, just be like your daughter's a slut. That's all. Done. See, that's funny. You got to really think about it.

Okay. So, that was great. You're right, because look who did that? Jackie, and Jackie technically didn't. Teresa's just a dummy and misunderstood what Jackie was saying. But in Teresa's mind, Jackie did come for her children, and she had the balls to stick with it

and continue to go for Teresa that whole year, and now look who respects Jackie. Granted, I know that she's just using Jackie, but to even use her to the degree that she would sit down and be nice to her, there's gotta be a certain respect there. So I think you're right. That's a good theory.

Do it. Let's all start going after each other's children. Kids, okay, here's the new rule on Bravo. Children are no longer off limits. Valentina, get it together. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Alaina, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us.

And if you do too, join us on our podcast Morbid. It's a safe space to let your weirdo flag fly. On Morbid, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events, and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a b***h. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds. So follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever

you get your podcasts. You can listen to Morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So now we're at the Fuda House and Rachel's FaceTiming Margaret. She says, hi sweetheart, hi, you look adorable and green. I'm getting ready to go on a horse and buggy ride, which barely even makes sense. And so Margaret's down in Charleston to celebrate a birthday with some friends. We see some footage of her on a beach. I think a hurricane is coming in and we're all sitting in the rain having a good time. It's wild. It's crazy right now.

Literally nuts. There's a tsunami coming and us yentas are just sitting here having a good time. Well, it's nice to know that a hurricane wants to hang out with us unlike Jackie Gonschneider. You know what? The hurricane can do a lot of things, but I'll tell you what it's not doing. giving me shit about injecting myself with something that doesn't make me eat every Snickers bar I see. Okay. At least this hurricane makes a bigger splash than Jack and her local newspaper articles. Weak sauce. Okay, weak sauce. So Rachel's like, I mean, I'm a little jealous right now about, about I'm just I'm just jealous right now about Margaret, I'm not gonna lie, okay? She's like, well, how was yesterday? Tell me everything, tell me, I'm listening.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay, there's a hurricane coming. Get to the part where you meet the Teresa, hurry. I know. So, John walks in, so Rachel, Of course he does, of course he does. You can't have a housewife scene without the big hairy galoot trying to be a housewife,

shoving his ass on the face time. Come on in, Fuda. He's really killing all his goodwill from last season. I don't even know how much goodwill he had, but I think like last season he just sort of stood there and got like his hair wax off at parties. And now he's just like, Oh gosh, John Fuda again. So it's like, yeah, so it got really heated. And I said to her like, what was your intention behind bringing up that John was the biggest drug dealer in Bergen County?

Like, why would you even say that? And she kept on dancing around the question like she wouldn't answer. She was like, I didn't say it. And I said, well, I said he was. And I go, but the point is that you took something that my husband made a mistake with when he was a 17 year old kid and tried to weaponize it

to make your fucking husband look better. Oh my God, when you said that, she must have died like my friends and I are about to sitting on this beach waiting for a hurricane to come get us. Hilarious, literally hilarious. Hurricane not Jackie Gold's genetic, this one actually has some power. So Rachel's like, she's like, yeah, we'll get this. Get this Margaret. She she got to just goes like that.

She goes, oh, is your husband a parking attendant? Does he park the cars? And John's like, hey, what's wrong with parking cars? I'm happy. I'm happy parking cars. Margaret's like, oh my God, isn't her husband unemployed and mooches off of her? I mean, come on, give me a break.

Thanks. And they both chuckle. By the way, Rachel Food is Teresa, her impersonation was actually really funny and she needs to do it more. So Margaret's like, gotta go. Everyone's getting in an Uber. And by Uber, I mean the whole of the big funnel that's coming down the beach.

I mean, it's just Yenta's flying. I am literally now on a yellow brick road. I don't even know how I got here, but I'm impressed I still have FaceTime coverage. One of Denise's Manolos is here, but Denise isn't here. Denise, call me from up there. All right, call me from up there. Hilarious. Oh my god, I'm being surrounded by like all of Teresa's children except there's like 100 of them. Look at them all looking around. They want me to like go go to some sort of city around here some Emerald City. I don't even know. It's an Atlantic City. I don't know. I can't do it anymore. Okay, so we go to Paulie and Dolores date night.

It's date night with Dolores. I'm so excited to be here, Paul. And he's walking behind her, he's like, I just want to make sure the merchandise is good, huh? Tuts. Come on, Paulie, we're late for a reservation at Restaurant Bonita by the river. And they go in.

They go in and she goes, oh, it's just so pretty here. Yeah, you know what the restaurant is called? Pretty, the word bonita means pretty. It's called bonita, bonita by the river. So they sit down. They should call it pretty. So Dolores is like, hello, table for two. I don't know why, I love everything that Dolores says,

it makes me laugh. So they go sit down and she's like, oh, I like the gold silverware. We have that upstairs, huh, Paulie? It kind of felt like they were still in their house to be honest. It's like they did some set dressing and made it into a restaurant.

So he looks at his watch and goes, why are you looking at your watch? You never look at your watch. Well, you gotta go somewhere to go. He's like, what? What are you talking about? What are you looking at your watch for, you gotta go somewhere to go. He's like, what? What are you talking about? What are you looking at your watch for, Paulie? He's like, I want to see what time it is

because I've got to see what I'm gonna eat. She's like, all right. I don't know how any of this is supposed to make sense, but what's fishy here? There is something fishy, right? Because he did look at his watch and then he got real weird about it. And then he started acting weird that he was called out.

And I was like, is he gonna propose? Is he waiting for like a special opera singer to come in or what's going on? But then nothing happened. Riverdance? He, the thing is that like he didn't look at his watch normally. Like normally if you look at your watch,

you sort of just glance down, but he like lifted his arm up and was like, oh, what time is it right now on the God's green earth? It's okay, I'm looking at it right now. Let me do a yawn. Oh, bored. It's like, sir, like of course she's gonna be confused by that demonstrative show of looking at the top.

Yeah, I didn't know, but it seemed fishy. And also Polly, was Polly always this red faced because he's, he's, he's Louie-ing, right? He's like turning into Louie right in front of our face. Why do all the men on the show end up purple? What is it? He looked like he was holding in a colossal dump. Let's be honest.

He did. So at first when he said, I have to look at what time it is because I have to eat, I used to do like one meal a day. So I would always be staring at my watch. I go, my God, four o'clock is coming. Then I can eat whatever I want for one hour. And I thought maybe that's what he was doing.

But then I thought, well, no, it's not a diet because then Delores orders. She goes, okay, let me order. We'll have the mini gyros and lobster mac and cheese to start. I was like, to start? No wonder the man is purple. What are you people eating in that town?

How do you all look so good eating like that? Mini gyros, I've never even heard of that. Mini gyros, by the way, when they do come, they're sort of just like gyros. I'm like, those are big. I'll have the mini gyros and lobster mac and cheese. I don't know how those two things go together. I don't know. Or how their appetizer is. I don't know what's going on. I want to move to this town. So, um, so Paul's like, oh, so what's going on? And she's like, well, I don't know. I haven't sat with you. I've got a lot of dirt that what happened. It's like, Oh yeah, what happened?

So she now talks about the bougie brunch, but of course she centers it on her story. Like all this crazy stuff happens. And she was like, well, I brought up that Frank's getting engaged. Frank and Brittany, it was the taco brunch. It was pretty much the only thing that happened at the bougie brunch, all that I can remember. Yeah. And she's like, you know, and they're saying when is Poole going to get married? It was the taco brunch. It was pretty much the only thing that happened at the bougie brunch, all that I can remember. Yeah. And she's like, you know, and they're saying, when is Paulie going to get married?

When is he going to get a ring? And I said, no, no, no, it's okay. Listen, a ring? What? I'd like a piece of real estate more than a ring, you know? You know, and he's like, wow. She goes, anyway, there's no reason to talk about that until this divorce is finalized. You know, but here we are waiting for mac and cheese. And you cheese and you need to finalize what you're doing, Paulie.

And he goes, oh, so what do you think that if I get, he goes, what do you think if I get divorced, I'm just gonna get down on one knee and get engaged to you the next day? She goes, no, I don't think that. I don't think it. She goes, listen, Paulie. It's so funny. She's like, I said, take that was hilarious. I rewound those. Did she really just do that?

Even Dom chuckled, it's always to me, my favorite parts on Bravo's when Dom is like, he's always sitting nearby when I'm watching. So playing some game on his phone and whenever he like perks up and say, did you just say that? That's my favorite. So listen, Paulie, it's not about me being upset about getting engaged. That's not what I'm gunning for here. Let me explain this. Okay, listen, explain this to me. What's taken so long? Because it's getting in my nerves a little bit. Look at me. Look how angry I am.

These mini gyros are arriving before the wedding ring. What's happening here? Look at me slowly enjoying this delicious lobster, mac and cheese. I care very much about getting engaged. I'm so, so upset. Do you hear that Melissa Gorga? Does everybody hear it?

Here I am getting mad at Pauly like you all want me to do. Pauly, take it away. I feel like the culinary world will draw a line between mini gyros and lobster mac and cheese faster than you will ever get engaged with me, okay? He's like, oh, so now you're getting angry. He's like, no, now, yeah, now I'm getting angry.

He goes, okay, so go on. Well, I'm getting frustrated a little bit. Oh, are ya? Why is he getting upset? He's the one who's been getting divorced for years and years and years. Yeah, this is a situation, this man does not wanna get married to Dolores.

And I think Dolores knows this, and instead of just saying, we're not gonna get married, I don't wanna get married, I'm fine not getting married. I just wanna live my fucking life with my kids and my 10 dogs and no stairwells in my house. Can everybody just leave me the fuck alone? For some reason, that's unacceptable to the people around her.

And so she's acting like, I mean, I don't know, what do you, cause at this point it's just happening so much that I just have to believe that Dolores just doesn't want to get married. Don't you think? I mean, why would she just keep dating fuckwits? You don't want to get married constantly. It's just, I can get one or two, but I mean, my God, so this has like been going on for years. I think she just wants to be with someone who wants to like really share his life with her.

And I think Pauly does share his life with her in a way that David did not. But yeah, I don't know. I can't tell if she really wants to get married or not, to be honest. I think she kind of does. I mean, I'm just getting the sense that she doesn't because she's got what she wants. Like she's with this guy all the time. She's living with him. They've got a fabulous life together.

They travel, they do all this great stuff. She's still really close with her ex and he doesn't mind. And then he's still really close with his ex and she doesn't mind. And he's obviously got some kind of issue where he wants to hold on to all of his damn money, which is why I think he doesn't wanna get married. But I don't know, I just get the impression

that she doesn't care and she's doing this scene to just appease everybody. He was like, hi, Dolores is a doormat, you know? So she's like, look at me, getting furious over lobster, mac and cheese. I'm so, so, so mad. And Pauly's just taking the instructions. Like we're gonna argue about getting married.

He's like taking it too far. Where he's like, oh, do you want the piece of me now? Would you like a piece? Well, guess what? Your pizza just delivered. It's a Pauly pizza. Take a piece, bitch. You're not getting married to me.

It's like, Pauly, geez, I said, we're gonna have a slight disagreement about marriage at the rails, the Bonita rails. All right. Calm down. The Bonita experience by rails by the sea. So she's like. The bespoke rails. The Bonita experience by Rails by the Sea. So she's like...

The bespoke Rails experience by Bonita. The Bonita pop-up at Rails by the River. So Dolores is like, you know what? This is a situation that's nothing new for me. I've already been through this with David. And we see a flashback of David being like, oh yeah, as soon as we finish the house. I mean, as soon as I finish my fifth degree at Stanford. Oh wait. I mean, as soon as I figure out a cold fusion. Yeah. So, uh,

she's like, you know what me not moving in with David because I wasn't engaged. That's I didn't move in cause I wasn't engaged. It was definitely smart, but now I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, Polly? I moved in with Paul almost a year ago, but I'm still not engaged. She's like, well, they don't get engaged to me if I don't move in with them. And they don't get engaged to me if I do move in with them. So which way do I win here?

So she's like, I mean, come on, Paulie, you could solve world peace before you get divorced. I mean, what's going on here? He's like, I mean, we're sifting through what we want to separate. It's what you do in a divorce. It takes years and years, decades, decades. It could take four or five more years.

And she's like, that's how long it's gonna take to digest this lobster mac and cheese, Paulie, right? All right. This is also bullshit, by the way. And he's like, yeah, you know, it's been filed for two years and so, and something so it's like,

it's coming up on the third year anniversary. So do you think that's, do you, do you maybe think that I'm not telling the truth? And she's like, no, I'm not saying I don't think you're not telling the truth. Listen, Paul, I'm a very easygoing person taking, you know, taking a little bit of a long time though, you know, like maybe I'll wake up one day and say,

I'm gonna have to rethink this. Sort of like how I immediately said that after I ordered mini gyros and lobster mac and cheese. I should probably rethink this. He's like, well, I would prefer if you do that right, sooner than later, because I'm not rethinking anything. So if you're in the process

that you possibly have to rethink it, you might need to check in with yourself and think about things. You better think about things real fucking good, Lass. You better think about it real fucking good. Cause this piece is about to walk out. You're about to see a butt walking away from you. Hope you enjoyed it.

She's like, Jesus, Polly, can we just finish our dinner? I hate the show killing the temper on the men. Also, I don't like Polly giving attitude like, well, divorces take three years and we're on the men. Also, I don't like Pauly giving attitude like, well, divorces take three years, and we're on year two, so this would be another year. But you guys broke up, then they break up like 10, 15 years ago. This is the ninth year of their divorce. He's acting like it's just, yeah.

And listen, we talked about this with Summer House, and really every show on Bravo right now, almost. The man is telling you, he does not want to get married and when he just said to you, what do you think, I'm gonna get divorced and then automatically jump down on one knee, there's a 90% chance this guy is not gonna marry you. So if that's really what you want,

this is probably not the way. But I don't know that it is, or maybe they're just faking it because you know what I say all that, but I want these two kids to stay together. I like them together. I like them together. I agree. But I also, I, whether it's fake or not, I don't like that she has a very reasonable expectation and he's getting impatient with her when he is the one dragging his feet. Because guess what?

We both know people who have had divorces that were much faster than three years. It can be done. I don't know what they be done. I don't know what they're sorting through. Maybe like his stacks of medium polo shirts, but as far as I can tell, this thing could be wrapped up faster. Yeah, and my family, someone in my family just got divorced and she was like, okay, you know what? I'm not into this marriage anymore.

She went straight to the lawyer, got papers drawn up, and she's like, here's some papers, sign these. And he's like, oh, this sucks. And then he signed them. And then they were like, well, this sucks. Okay, well, see you later. And it was like. Yeah. I mean, it was the easiest, I think,

just because they both agreed not to make each other's lives hell, you know, which is a nice way to do it. But just to your point, it can be done, you know. Does Paul even have a kid? Does Paul have a kid? Yeah, I think so. Why do I think that Paul has a kid? I think they have a kid.

What's his name? Real Housewives of New Jersey, Paul. Paulie. He doesn't have a last name. Paulie Connell. Paulie Connell, children. Let's see. He's a proud father of two sons, Cameron and Brooklyn, and he often takes to social media

to ride updates on his mini-mes. Brooklyn, another Brooklyn. Another Brooklyn. All right, well, let's move on. So now we're at the Cabral house with Nate and Danielle, and they're getting ready for Fashion Week. Oh my God, I'm so nervous. Like I never get nervous about anything.

I just like, I could be in front of a million people and sing and dance and I'll still be mad at my father. And I'm not nervous because like this, but like, I don't know. Like what you think is like New York fashion week? Like you think like Carrie Bradshaw is sexy in the city and then you're like, oh my God, I can't compete. But I'm like, okay, it's not that. This is kids' show, it's my first time.

I don't need that. I don't know. I'm like, well, congratulations. You've actually ruined New York fashion week. It's officially that, this is a kid show, it's my first one. I don't need that, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm like, well congratulations, you've actually ruined New York fashion. It's officially over now, Anna Wintour's gonna retire. Fashion's over. I think it ended when Kyle Richards showed up with her moomoo's.

Her moomoo pants. That would be it, Kyle had a moomoo show at fashion. Wasn't that when she showed moomoo's? I can't. It was like, it was a lot of oversized loungewear, like, yeah, pants that were dragging along the floor. Shiny, shiny things. Fashion weekend did a long time ago.

So Danielle's like, yeah, you know, I got all this stuff done for fashion week and just see it right now. It's like crazy to see all this stuff I got done for fashion week. Cause it's like, I had this idea in my head and then now I'm unboxing it and I'm looking at it and look at all this stuff that was in my head.

Yeah, it's all fucking bonkers. Okay. None of it makes sense. And frankly, all of it looks like it doesn't talk to his father. I'll tell you that much. It looks like strained parental relationships. That's what I would call this line, rebellious daughter. It's awful. If anyone buys this, any of this clothing for their child,

just know that all of your friends are laughing at you and probably disinviting your child to a play date. And you better hope you don't pass social services on the sidewalk because they would have grounds. Well, I do hear that CPS does get involved with fashion emergencies. So Nate's like, yeah, your mom's working so hard, right kids?

So like, oh, look, all those late nights and hard work that you've done. I mean, look, like all those episodes of The Nanny that you watched just to get some more friend dresser fashion in. I mean, this is great. Hey, question, wasn't Bougie Kids where she made outfits for kids

that matched the outfits of the adults, wasn't that the point? The mom and the daughters are dressed exactly the same in matching outfits. So why is it just the kids? Did she cut out the part where the mom is supposed to be living her life through her child? Because that was the best part of it.

You can't just mix that idea. Unfortunately, Naomi Campbell was booked and was not able to participate with. Unfortunately, Claudia Schiffer and her daughter were not able to participate in the Bougie Kidz fashion debut, but I'm sure next time we'll get to the full vision of Danielle's line.

So they're talking about how Melissa is going to be coming. She's really excited about Cuba, which is really nice. She's been supportive, which is really cool. She's going to come. Some of our friends are going to come. My mom's not going to come because she's got the North of Europe vacation. Basically picking my brother's side. Basically, I'm never talking to that bitch again.

I'm not gonna talk to ships. If I see a ship, I'm not gonna talk to it. Hello there, this is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crap ins would like to thank Just come back a little later for part two. Karen Mcnicolas, she don't miss no trick-a-lis. She's never scary, it's the green fairy. Jamie, she has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber, know your worth with Jason Kurtz.

Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson, let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Megan Berg! You can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors!

Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy M.D. We're takin' the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! We forever love Ava! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish!

She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch! She's a little bit loony. Junie! My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo! We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley! Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender! The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters! Give him hell, Miss Noelle! If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus

in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. I'm Shimon Liayi and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive.

All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense that you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today,

the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry+. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning, multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed as frauds. But none of this was their idea.

So whose idea was it? Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist. Two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers. The only problem? They couldn't sing.

But Frank knew just how to fix that. Wondery's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Milli Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Millie Vanilli on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+.