Watch What Crappens - #2466 RHODub S02E03: Truth Is Stranger Than Eviction

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

This week on Real Housewives of Dubai (S02E03), Caroline pledges to stop micromanaging Sergio, which is his biggest nightmare, and Taleen tries to set Sara up on a date.  Watch this as a video recap and find all of our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Tune in for a fresh yachty drama on brand new episodes of Below Deck Mediterranean airing now. And once you're hooked, revisit classic seasons of all the franchises, including Below Deck Sailing Yacht, Adventure, and Down Under, all available on HeyU. You know that we've watched every single episode of Below Deck. We have not only watched them, we've talked about them endlessly.

We obsess over them. Below Deck is so good, and it is such a amazing source of petty, petty drama. If you're not watching it, you're really missing out. Slide into summer with Below Deck, new episodes airing now. Watch all seasons and spin-offs of Below Deck on HeyU. That's H-A-Y-U dot com. She was a romance mystery writer.

They glommed on the fact that she writes stories like this. There are murders in all of the books. From Wondery, the makers of Ghost Story, and Feta, this is a story about a murder that rocked my little community. Binge all episodes of Happily Never After ad-free right now on Wondery+. Watch what crappins, watch what crappins, guess what happens when this so much crap happens. Watch what crappins, watch what crappins crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

Well hello my little Banooney Toons. What's new with you? Well today I'm from my car, I'm doing this from my car office because they have started remodeling the house and that means gutting it with sledgehammers and shit. So they're banging, banging away up there and things are being destroyed. And so I'm in a car like a tick tocker. I got the idea from tick tock because people go in there and they record in their cars. So I thought why, why the fuck not? I'll do that. It's like my we work. I was about to say why don't you could also go to we work, but this is cheaper.

I think this is free. It sounds good. It looks good. It's kind of fun. So I mean, as long as it works for you, then it works for all of us, right? Why not? Let's just, let's try it. Hey, we've done it in weirder places. That's for sure. Well, um, uh, everyone, welcome to Real Housewives of Dubai day in case you missed it. Um, we are now recapping house of the dragon. Winter is crapening is back. Um, so if you are looking for those recaps, we have a winter's crapening feed that's dedicated solely to that. If that's just all you want. Um, but the episodes are also here on crap.

And so, um, to get your full HBO house, the dragons, you know, experience, be sure to listen to that. And tell your friends, tell your friends who aren't necessarily Bravo Watchers, but who are Game of Thrones and House of Dragon Watchers, and let them know that we're doing this because we are a big, scaly, dragon-y tent and we want to welcome people in. So go do that. And then for today, oh, by the way, Patreon, come join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch where crap ends, if you support on the Crappits on Demand level.

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What a life. What a life. Am I right guys- What a life. What a life. What a life. What a life. Today we are diving right back into Real Housewives of Dubai, which is really fun. We recorded the first two episodes actually like a month ago.

We were fortunate enough to have the screeners early. So it's been like a little, been a moment and coming back into it, I was like, you know, I'm really enjoying Dubai this season. I'm, I'm shocked considering how much I disliked it last season. Well, it's the third episode and it's the third time you've exclaimed how shocked you are that you like it. I continue to be shocked. The shock continues. It's three episodes running.

I mean, I always kind of liked it and I like it now. I think it's good now. So I don't really know. There's, I don't know. I don't need to make a grand proclamation about it. I'm enjoying it. That's fine. Fine. Well-

I enjoyed yours though. I'm not saying you shouldn't. I just don't feel the need for a grand statement about it. Like it's on, it's great, it's fun. Let's do it. Let's get into it. All right, let's dive about it. Like it's on, it's great, it's fun. You know, let's do it. Let's get into it. All right. Let's dive into it. So we are here in with Stanbury, Caroline, Stanbury and Sergio. And they are at Stanbury's friend Michael's house because they had moved in there for

renovations. Maybe Ronnie, you could hold up there, hold up there. Now that you're going on to renovations, you should just see if Michael has any availability over there in Dubai. I don't know if Stambury had anything to do with the music in, I don't know if she was like one of the original people who knew Trixie Monacle from Ladies of Linden, the famous band Trixie Monacle and Three-Arm Octopus. I don't know if she actually brought them on, but we are back to Ladies of L Music officially. This is the first song. Coming in hot, always on top, on top. I'm the boss, I'm the boss, baby. I'm the boss. Yeah, yeah, I'm a boss, a girl boss. I'm a boss, a girl boss. Pete Slauson A boss song. It's a boss song. And that's really what Trixie Monagle, that was her

bread and butter back in the day, was just singing about what a boss she was and what a powerful girl she is. And welcome back, GirlbossMusic. I know Selling Sunset tried to steal you. Fuck those guys. This is Bravo music and it belongs here. Welcome home. Yeah, welcome home. GirlbossMusic really is always welcome on Bravo. And especially when we're highlighting someone

who doesn't appear to have a job at the moment and is just leeching off of her friend's home. So, Carol- Carol is influencing, all right? Oh, that's right. Get with it, Ben. I'm an influencer, all right? So she is introduced with a song about being a boss, but then this whole episode is about bossing Sergio around plus, which is odd.

So it's an odd juxtaposition, but you know, I enjoyed it. I'm a boss. Okay. The, the, the best boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, don't want to be dependent on another man's money. Um, yeah, I really liked how this episode was about bossing around Sergio and bossing him around. It's like boss as a meta bossing. It's like, I am bossing around to let you know that I

shan't be bossing you around. Otherwise I'll become your mother. So no more bossing for me. You shall not receive my bossing, but I want you bossing. You shall not receive my bossing. Yeah. So he's like, honey, Michael cannot just walk in and see a mess every day. She's like, Oh my God, look at that. It's a $12,000 purse just laying there. Like, it's nothing. All right. It's ridiculous. This room was a mess, by the way, Michael. Wow. I get that you're not paying rent anywhere, but pay for a cleaning person at least. You guys are pigs. Yeah. Michael is at his wits end. clearly. I mean, I would be too if I had Caroline Stanbury in my house for eight weeks.

I mean, she probably turns the entire place into her place. Like, Michael, I'm terribly sorry. I'm gonna need you to move out of your bedroom, perhaps into the garage, because I need someplace to put my loafers. Is that okay? No. Sorry, Michael, I hope you don't mind if I make some improvements to your home.

There's an old, bald, gay person standing here. I'd like to gut that. Can we gut that? It's like, that's me. Exactly. Get out. I saw some photos of some older people that just, they just looked ugly and didn't look very impressive. So I just, I just tossed them, just tossed them right into the Persian Gulf. It's like, those were photos of my parents, actually. You know what I'm seeing here right in front of me? Boldness. Can we put some hair on that? You know, can we get an infinity countertop on that shoulder, that weak shoulder? Can you please start trying to remodel me? This is my house.

So, um, but they are moving out at the end of this week into their newly renovated place. And, um, Caroline's like, well, I have completely taken over his house and no one is more excited about getting his house back than Michael. So he's literally throwing me a party. I love you, Michael. This is called a good riddance party, which is hilarious. Hold on, let me LOL.

L-O-L. Am I right? I like to call it a Sergio party. Good riddance, am I right? So Sergio's like, oh, are you excited for the good riddance party? Are the girls So Sergio's like, Oh, are you excited for the good riddance party? Are the girls coming? Just let me know. I'm so excited. And she's like, Yes, I'm actually really excited. But no, like Caroline, I don't get it. This is

not like Caroline I know and love and at all darling. It ended even worse after we left. I just don't know what's going on with Caroline Brooksx. I mean here I am. I've welcomed her into my family my friend group My family hates me. My friend group hates me, but still she's here. I mean she's round. Isn't it? I really don't know why she hates me. I'm actually an awful person aren't I? Well, I'm not inviting that bitch really can't explain anything. I can't explain why anybody likes me actually, but hey, why try to explain anything? So we have a flashback to Chanel eating popcorn with Stanbury the day before and telling Stanbury

that Caroline Brooks called her the C word. So Sergio's like, you know, I think there is something serious behind that because I think that there's a lot of pressure from the business, you know? And so it was like a hundred percent I'm sorry. I actually wasn't even really listening to you I just know by now that if I say a hundred percent to whatever you say, you seem to be happy Well, I've welcomed her into everything. I don't even know what she's on

I mean, is it drugs? Is it alcohol? Is it hair fumes from her little, you know paid for hair salon? You know, I'm not really sure what it is, but it's something. I mean, if that's what it's like when you're on something, it just makes me never, it makes me want to be stone-cold sober for the rest of my life. And he's like, honey, are you saying that you don't want to drink anymore? Honey, no!

And she's like, no Sergio, it's a metaphor, Sergio. I don't understand still. So the door rings and Marissa comes in and Marissa is a hypnotherapist. So she comes in and I have to say this is the least. This person is trying the least out of any Bravo person we've seen lately try to even pretend they're a real psychic. I mean, most people are like, okay, here's what I see. Let's hypnotize you deeply, darling.

You want to shoot with Tom Sandler. I mean, they make an effort, but she just comes in and she's like, all right, you're a little girl, you're standing in a kitchen, do you see it? Great, ding dong, it's over. Do you feel better? Do you feel better now?

What the fuck is this? Like, make an effort, lady. Ding dong, it's over. Do you feel better? Do you feel better now? What the fuck is this? Like make an effort, lady. Like, I was like, this is the least trancy fake trance I've ever seen. Okay, like it was kind of like, oh Roger, looking at my fingers, my fingers are closed and now you want a deep trance, congratulations.

I was like, what? And Caroline Stamberry didn't even fake it either. She's like, all right, here I am, little girl, walking through, kitchen, kitchen, cute hair, love I am, little girl walking through kitchen, kitchen, cute hair, love my hair. All right, we done. We done. All right. I feel so much better now. Yeah. She's like literally making jokes back in her trance. Cause at like, like what? Like at one point, like she's, of course, Caroline Stanbury talks about boarding school because if anyone who labored through the third season of

ladies of London, it was all Caroline talking about like, I can't be at this dinner party because I went to boarding school and they treated me awfully there. It was just like nothing but her boarding school. So of course she's back to it. And she's saying like, you know, I'm just a bit of a micromanager. It's probably from boarding school and you know, I was there from six to 18. And Marissa's like, well, you know what they say from 6 to 18 and Marissa's like well you know what they say about the English they keep their dogs at home and send their kids to high class scandals Caroline's like true that, true that. True that sister. I'm like you're in a trance. You're in that at

boarding school I'm really going back. Stop bantering you're in a trance right now. Like she explains it she's like I'm not really a big fan of traditional therapy, but then I ended up interviewing Marisol, my podcast, and she's the number one hypnotherapist in the UK. She was Princess Diana's hypnotherapist. So if she's good enough for Diana, she's good enough for me. I'm sorry. Listen, I know we all love Princess Diana, and I'm not ever going to say anything terrible about Princess Diana. A, because I don't have anything terrible to say and B, because I want to keep my skin. Okay. But was she happy? I mean, is that really a way to get advertising? Like is Princess Diana, was she like a bastion of happiness that I'm just forgetting about? Because I was young, but I remember pure sadness in that one. I don't know if that's a good advertisement. Like, well, if it's good enough

for Princess Di. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, maybe, maybe this led to like, I have nothing to add to that. I have no other spin to add to it. I mean, you know, just more current, like let's get some more current credits, I think is the point. Yeah, let's make, you know, how about like Sandra Bullock? Like Sandra Bullock's the therapist. You know what I'm really going for, really going for,

I want further away sadness in my eyes. I feel like the sadness in my eyes is too close. I just want a more detached sadness. And I believe that Marissa can give that to me. So let's get going. So this Marissa is like, okay, go down, you're going, you're going, are you down? You're down, you're you're child. What do you see now? She's like, Oh, God, I don't know. I'm about nine faces ago. Nine faces ago. I'm measuring my life in faces. Wait, was that?

It's 10 faces ago, it's 10 faces ago. And what do you see? Small lips, tiny lips need to be fixed. Really need to be fixed. Emotionally, what do you see emotionally? Like I said, tiny lips. Very sad about that. Okay, now you can hear a conversation

between you and your mother and your eight years old. What are you hearing? Hmm. A very dumb woman making demands of me. Anything else? You know, she's complimenting me. She's complimenting my lips and I'm telling her, screw you, you awful hag. I'd like bigger breasts.

Make it happen. What else is she saying to you? I think I just heard her go into another room and call me the C word. Wow. Rough day for me. Are you crying yet? Okay, fine. I'm crying. What are you crying about? I want new kneecaps. I want them right now. I will not go to boarding school unless I've got brand new good looking kneecaps.

Do you understand me, mother? Okay, so I think I figured something out. You good looking me cats. Do you understand me, mother? Okay, so I think I figured something out. So what's happening in this scene is that's happening in a deep trance state clearly, is that you need to not, what you need is not to go completely ignored because of her need to have you go. And what's happening is that when you were little,

you wanted many face jobs and you didn't get them. And now you feel like something's missing. Marissa is very on the nose because you're standbree is like, well, my mother says you have to go to a boarding school. What do you say? I don't want to go. What does she say?

You have to go. Here's what I'm hearing. You don't want to go to boarding school, but your mother wants you to. You know, thank $500. This is free. Right? It's free because you're on my podcast because literally what I just told you. Well, I appreciate the Marissa so on the nose because that's really the bane of all my issues my nose. When can I get a new

one? She's so on the nose when really I'm just trying to get a date to get my nose off. So then we see Sergio's listening in, which by the way is hilarious. Don't do that. I mean, I know it's fake therapy. It's fake therapy and there's a full camera crew in there. But dude, you're not supposed to eavesdrop in when your wife is allegedly in a trance. It's so funny to me. Like he is so needy. I like that it starts off, well, Sergio still up my ass.

Like can't get away from that guy for two goddamn seconds. So Marissa's like, so what's the price you pay for micromanaging Sergio? Annoyance, boredom, frustration, ovaries shriveling even more, breasts turning inside out. That's the price I pay for micromanaging Sergio. Now, how did we get to stop micromanaging Sergio?

I don't think that that's the problem. She's not micromanaging Sergio. Surgery won't, surgery, surgery. Here's the thing. I wanted surgery now wound up with Sergio and the universe just misheard me I've just realized in this past life trauma or whatever this childhood this childhood trauma exploration that I've asked for so much surgery I ended up bringing myself a Sergio Secret things it turns out wishers can have typos. Be very careful.

I'm telling you this right now, Marisa. All right, so look, I don't think the problem is that Sergio is being micromanaged. You have to manage Sergio. He's never gone. He's always in her face. She has to tell him. I mean, you have to, at the very least, you have to be like, never gone. He's always in her face. She has to tell him. I mean, you have to, at the very least, you have to be like, move, because he's always standing

right there. Which is just like, what was that? Oh, that was like a, Summerhouse Martha's Vineyard where they had to yell that at Nick. Move. Oh my God, you do. You literally have to shove him out of the way. I mean, but like she was drawn to this guy because of her need to micromanage because apparently she has control issues because her mom controlled hers and now she wants to control things, et cetera.

So Sergio is hearing this, which most people, if you heard from your partner, I have to stop micromanaging the one I love. I let I need to let them have freedom. They'd be like, thank God. It's impossible. It's like, please. No, he's like, please, I heard this.

I heard what you were talking about. He goes, oh my God, look at you. Is there a new Caroline Stamberry? And she's like, darling, it's not like a switch. But yes, she did point out things. And listen, I think she's correct. I mother you too much. She goes, Oh, but I'd love that. Please. I was walking upstairs to the bathroom and I just heard, you know, how do you find micromanaging? Sergio, I don't like that. I don't like that. I want you to micromanage me.

Well, I do micromanage you as ever inspired by the fact that I'm literally micromanaging your ability to understand that I micromanage you as if inspired by the fact that I'm literally micromanaging your ability to understand that I micromanage you. Oh, she's like, Oh God, listen, it's about being more effective errand running. All right, if you can go one place and I can go another place, we can get two places done. I don't want to go to another place. Please don't make me go to another place. Please. Listen, imagine how much more time we'd have for tiki tiki if you bought the yogurt, and I went and got the car fixed. Okay. He's like, she's like, I'm your mother. All right. She's saying,

you know, she's saying you'll stop jiggy jigging me because I become your mom tiki tiki you because I would not tiki tiki my mother. So you're not my mother. Please, please don't run there and separate from me. Please. He don't run Aaron separate from me. Please He doesn't really because she's like look I can't micromanage you because we're going to develop a relationship where i'll become your mother and he's like But I would never fuck my mom. So you won't become my mom. He loved the control I've never seen this in a relationship before where he's just like please please control me, please

shit before where he's just like, please, please control me. Please. I have eyelashes. I got eyelash extensions for you. I mean, he really is just like a little doll. He's got like these long eyelash extensions. I mean, she's really doing a number on this guy. It's also amazing how stupid he really is. Like it's just, it feels like every episode you just can't think he can get dumber, but he really does. So he's hot and dumb. And she's like, Oh my god, maybe you need this therapy because this is a ridiculous conversation. Don't you agree? This

is a ridiculous conversation. Sorry, micromanaging. Can't tell you how to feel. He's like, Oh my god, listen, honey, I don't like this. Why? It's always like this. You come out of a session and you always just want to be your own person. Well, goodbye., goodbye, bye, I'll be right there. I can't leave you. Can I stay here? Can we just pretend I walked off? What a terrible thing to want to be your own person, you know? So gross. He's like, please don't do this to me. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap-ins commercial. Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated.

And correct. You're such a Leo. All time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast, Lemme Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet

so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the the obscure like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise mother a mother to many Follow let me say this on the wonder E app or wherever you get your podcast Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad free by joining wonder E plus in the wonder E app on Apple podcast

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I just got my heels stuck in this wood over here. Wow, okay, well I'm back in action. What's going on? We had a great party yesterday, right? And he's like, yeah, the vibe was like super positive, super positive. It was so good, right? So then Lisa shows up.

Brooks, who made that party a living hell for everybody involved, by the way, is like, oh, that was a really fun party, bye bye. What a great time we had in that party. No, it wasn't, it was fucking miserable because of you. You nutcase, what's wrong with you? So Lisa joins, she just talks about how her mom's just gotten there and her mom's helping out with the kids.

You see a flashback of all that and everything. And the producer's like, so were you sad to miss Teline's party? At least it's like, um, Ayaan said there was no decor, so I don't think I missed much. I really want to go to parties for the decorations, so no. I mean, was there a balloon art? No. So was there an ice sculpture that was a unicorn? No.

So no, I didn't miss anything. So they order a seafood platter, which is a big thing today. A lot of seafood platters in 190 degree weather. I know a lot. And they all look delicious, by the way. So Books is like, oh, well, last night was that some really inappropriate things I heard. I told me I called Carolina. I'll see you next Tuesday. I don't remember saying that, but if somebody says that I said it, maybe I did say it, I don't remember. And Talene's like, you don't really use that word a lot, so I can't imagine that you said the actual word.

Yeah, well, I don't. And if I did use it, I think that means I was really, really mad. So maybe I deserve an apology for somebody making me use such a horrible, horrible word. So Teline tells us, I don't recall ever even hearing it. Do we have that on tape? And then we just show footage of her big, she's a dumb fucking cop, fairness, okay? And then Teline just cringes big. She's like, oh God, I can't believe she said that.

And so Teline's laughing. And so Lisa's like, so what is going on with you two? I don't even understand why you're fighting. Brooks is like, nothing, I don't know. Because you guys were like besties, but now you're fighting? And Brooks is like, yeah, the energy was because the comments about Talene. I'm just trying to be there for Talene. And then I take a step back because my loyalty is more to her, you know. Prior to that, I spoke with Caroline Saber every day, but there's a person saying that they've seen Teline's vagina. Are you kidding me? I will ride in the streets, ride in the streets.

How dare you? A vagina on Teline? Teline, can you believe it? I'm mad again. I'm going to beat up the seafood platter. Teline's like, yeah, I don't really care. I don't really care. I'm on the TV show. She's more famous than you. So I'm down with, I'm down for it. So, um, you know, Teline's like, yeah, whatever. Caroline says she was joking. So like, no big deal, right? It's water under the bridge.

So Talene's like, but I also feel like there's like more going on with you and Stan Barry. And Lisa's like, yeah, that's how I feel because you guys were so close. And Brooks is like, what do you mean? I mean, I don't care about like, you know, how she is with you guys. It has nothing to do with me.

I'm not mad at her at all. I'm not jazz at all. I'm not just at all. I'm not mad at all. And Lisa does not believe this at all. She was like, I don't believe what comes out of her mouth. And that is facts, Fendi facts. So I don't know what that means. What's a Fendi fact?

I guess just like higher end facts. I don't know. It's a very expensive fact. Yeah, I think that basically, Lisa says that basically Brooks and Stamberry were fine when Lisa and Aion were feuding with Stamberry. But now like that Stamberry is getting along with Lisa and, and Aion, now Brooks is like really mad because she can't manipulate both sides anymore. Yeah.

And Brooks is like, Oh, Lisa's just a projector. Out of everyone our friend group, Lisa's the most bothered that I, Anna Stanbury, have developed this unusual friendship. Well, you're not the only one that stays up at night with your free... Lisa, you're the only one that stays up all night with a voodoo doll of Stanbury.

And so they put a voodoo doll with Stanbury's head on it and then, you know, another little voodoo doll of Sergio following behind it, trying to get its attention. Please laugh me. Please. Can we get back together? Please. Please. So Brooks is like, yeah, I'll call, I'll call Caroline after her going away party and everything.

And everyone's excited to go to it and everything. And Brooks is like, I mean, fingers to heaven, I do cross and hope that I did not call her or see you next Tuesday, because she is not a cup fitness. She is a bitch though, she's a bitch. I'm like, ah, hilarious. That in Dubai, calling someone a B word

is like a misdemeanor, whereas calling someone a C word is a a misdemeanor, whereas calling someone a C word is a death penalty. So that's good. You're just kind of lowering your crime there. So now we go to Michael's house and he's party prepping and they're like, it's a man. He's not a boss. It's a man. He's not a boss. And then Sergio's like, wow, look at this. Could you hold my hand? Wow. Look, look at all this week. Caroline, which, what should I look at? What should I look at?

Okay. That one. Okay. Look at all this. So Michael's like, so you guys like the disco balls? He's like, oh, it looks amazing. Well, actually I think you should leave the house like this normally Michael, because normally it's a shit show. And that was before I moved in.

Love you. Thanks for having us. Look at all these disco balls and all the so easy for you to get done. Now look at all the work that I'm putting in just to try to get Sergio to grow too. It's really hard to drop hints when he's not paying attention. So everyone's getting a glam for the party and everyone's getting ready and Lisa's gonna be late because she's at a track meet and everything and Ayan's like, don't leave me alone. So then Talene's getting ready.

She's like, you know, doing the thing where she's having her daughters pick out the dress for her and all that fun stuff, you know. Yeah. And then Brooks is with her son and she's like, I'm gonna prepare lunch for my boy. So listen here, nanny, I need pepper, flour and everything else that requires you to make a pizza.

I hired you, you make the pizza. It's considered me making the lunch. Do you understand you little cut fitness? I never said that. I never said it. I think Brooks is like trying to be like hilarious and fabulous in that moment, but she just sort of comes off as just like a really mean person. So then we're back at the party and people are arriving.

So Sarah and her friend Saba arrive. So Saba appears to be like maybe a friend of, I'm not sure. Why are they letting Sarah bring on friends? Why do you let the most selfish, self-righteous asshole on the show bring on more self-righteous assholes? That's why. That's what the Saba is. She's just like another, she's like Sarah

in a Jackie O suit, just here for more fucking holier than thou judgment. Welcome girl. That's why they have Sarah bring someone because she's, assholes bring assholes and that's the fun part. So we meet Sah and everything. And Sarah's like, oh, oh, I love my girl Sabah.

She's my Pakistani sister. She is my business partner for life. She is like this crazy scientist nerd. She's like the sexy, girly female. I'm like, you're just saying things now. She's like a pizza parlor lady, Fembot with tires. saying things now. She's like a pizza parlor lady, femme bat with tires. She's a terracotta popsicle cloud. I just love her.

She's like a birch tree with little like lightning McQueen stickers on her side, but it smells like peaches, you know. So Sara's like, Oh, Michael, can I throw someone in the pool? Isn't that hilarious? Maybe I shouldn't ask, I should just do, right? And then Sarah goes, God, I love that little puddle brick mailbox. You know what we call her? Sarah the sabotage. It's like that's one of the least flattering nicknames I've ever heard.

Who would be proud of having a friend called sabotage? Oh, I love getting together with her and my other friend, Underminer. So fun we have. Yeah. I really love my friend, um On Collision. We are just... Oh my God. Oh, hold on. I'm getting a phone call from my bestie. Her name is no one likes her. Okay, hold on one second. Could you hold please? I'm on the other line with decapitation. That'd be great. So... Why doesn't she call Saba her little noodle? That's what I

would call her like, Hi, Saba, you're my little noodle. Or Hi, Saba, my little discontinued Swedish car. So stupid. So, Caroline's trying to pick out and pick out an outfit. And we're really giving Yasmin a role this season. I don't know that she's ready. I feel like Yasmin is still too young acting or something. She's too useful. She's a voice of reason in that household, okay?

Because you have Caroline who's so disgusted, she can't see straight. You've got Sergio who is literally just like a plastic bag like floating in Caroline's, you know, like wake. And you need to have Yasmin to be like, you adults are absolutely ridiculous. I'm sick of both of you. She's like a very cheery version of Stambury.

And I do love that she bullies Sergio. But I think that's why I said she wasn't ready because I kind of felt bad for Sergio. I was like, wow, poor Sergio is not gonna ever win in this house. But we'll get to that. So Sergio is talking to Saba and Sarah. So they're like, so welcome to your going away party. How's that going? He's like, oh, I don't know. Everything's good. I guess everything's good. You know, I mean, it's stressful, but it's good. Overall, it's good. And Sarah's like, we need to talk alone. Come here. You are my brother.

Oh God, she probably says that to everybody. I know. Come over here, my little angel brother. This is my brother. We call him, we call him Legless. Cool. Meanwhile, Sergio and Sarah leave the table and Sabat trip Sergio sabotage. So Sara's like, okay, all right, Sergio, you're not wrong.

What's wrong? Did Caroline want you to get yogurt by yourself again? He's like, Oh, someone told her that I was going to end up like, like marrying my mom, you know, and I'm very sensitive, you know, I don't want to marry my mom because I still want to fuck Caroline. I don't want to fuck my mother." Who told her such a thing? He's like, They hit no therapist, and I was so sad today.

I just wanted to cry, honestly. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want Caroline to get mad if I messed up my extension to my eyelash. She will get very mad. I don't want her to get mad. Please don't let her get mad at me. And Sarah's like, Come here, my brother. Let me hug you. He's like, And the problem is, Caroline doesn't even see it. I don't want her to get mad. Please don't let her get mad at me." And Sarah's like, Come here, my brother. Let me hug you.

He's like, And the problem is, Caroline doesn't even see it. She doesn't even see it. Because you feel like no matter what you do, you're invisible. You can't be seen. Am I right, Fred? My name is Sergio. Who? Sorry, who? Oh, I thought I was talking to someone completely different. He's like, no, she's like, Karla needs to heal from her traumas. Because you are a punching bag. A really soft punching bag that's not even filled up all the way.

So it's just really easy to punch into it. I'm sorry, Sabah, could you bring me that blanket and throw it over this invisible person so I can try and look at who I'm talking to? Sabah, that's not a blanket, that was a bowl of goldfish. Sabtash. I have goldfish in my hair! Caroline is going to be so mad, she hates goldfish. No, I don't hate goldfish, I hate shopping for them, and that's why I want you to get them by yourself.

So, uh, Sarah's like, I'm not surprised that Sergio's opening up to me because I'm like a sister to him. And when he met her and they got married, they were with each other 24-7. But now, Caroline's pulling away and Sergio is feeling left out. Okay, we already had the hypnotherapist. We don't need on the nose commentary for every goddamn scene that happens, Sarah. We get it. We get it.

Thank you. Yeah, how about Sergio makes some friends instead of rebuilding his family dynamic with his sister, Sarah, and his mother, Caroline? Yeah. So I have to say, for Caroline Stanbury, it is nice to see somebody not just repeating patterns because normally just, I was to say, you know, for Caroline Stanbury, it is nice to see somebody not just repeating patterns, because normally just, I was going to say on these shows, but in life,

like we're pattern people, you know, we're people. People are patterns. And normally you see people like dump one terrible person, and then they go for another controlling terrible person. Caroline was with kind of a blasé person who could give a shit what she was doing. I mean, she's like, honey, have you seen that I've opened my own business? He's like, literally don't care, you know? And then we'd never seen him again. And then this guy is like totally different

and following her around all the time. It's kind of cute. You go pattern breaker. She broke the pattern. And she also broke the pattern from last season. When last season she thought we all cared about them being like cute and influencers together. And then she realized, Oh no, no one likes that.

So now she has pivoted back to the Caroline Stamberry that we all know and love, which is her being evil to those who are closest to her. Welcome home. It's so much better. It's so much better. It's so much better. It's so much better. Some patterns are okay to keep. So Chanel walks in and you know, she matches the disco ball.

So she picks it up. She's like, look at these, I'm like inspiration. And you know, everyone's saying hi, like, oh, the party's great and everything. And so I was just giving her a look like, yes, how about doesn't like Ion? Yeah. I don't know why.

Yeah, so Chanel's being really nice. She's just like, oh, what a lovely party, blah, blah, blah. And talking to Michael. And Chanel's like, yeah, honestly, I don't find Michael trying to get them out of this house. He's probably tired of paying the bill, ha ha ha. She looks like she's playing little orphan Annie in an Angettys production. That big rose wig. Oh, when she wears that. Oh, I love

that look. The giant, is it a wig or is it like actually just like a hat? A headpiece. It's a headpiece. Whatever it is. Something on her head. Yeah. But it looks like that. I was like, why does that look familiar? And it looks like a little orphan Annie's big curly had a hair, but made with roses. So she's making small talk with Michael and Sarah's like, Oh, I was just telling Sergio, look at Sabba's face when she saw Chanel walk in, isn't it hilarious? And Sabba's like, you know, obviously I see people like this around before. It's Dubai. And Sarah goes, what kind of people? She goes, well, you know, over the top kind of people.

Ma'am, you're at a Real Housewives shoot right now. No kidding. Let's not try to act like you're a fricking Emily Post. You're wearing a Jackie O jacket, and it's 130 degrees. Come on. You're friends with Sarah. Yeah, Sarah's like, well, we learned how to love her for who she is, you know, and she just wants to be center of attention and Sabah goes, and let her be. It's just

not my kind of people. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not in an actual chair because it would be backing up right now and I'd be waiting for the audience to kick your ass right now. Who the fuck do you think you are, Bam? Okay, you pulled up to the wrong fucking parking lot. Yeah, well she's trying to make a splash

going after the big dog on Dubai, right? So Caroline finally comes with that. I know, right? So then Caroline finally joins the party and everything and more people are talking and Chanel is trying to set up Yasmine up with her son. She's like, come on. She's like, he's so hot.

You have to date him. He's so hot now and you're hot. Two hot people have to date. Let me see. I'm trying to catch up in notes. Tullien, Chanel, Tullien keep stepping on her train. And then they're talking about how fun the party was. And she's like, well, you know, to be honest,

I had the best time ever. It's so nice to talk to you without Caroline because I feel like now you are normal. So now it's like, you're not an asshole when you're not around Caroline Brooks. That's good for you. Yeah. So then, so Stanbury goes up to the group and everything and, and just like talking, she's just like talking, a lot of things are happening back and forth and everything.

And so, um, they're just joking about how, like, um, like, oh my God, like Michael must be like, really happy to kick these two out, et cetera. And Michael's like, oh yeah, dogs, shit dogs, pissing and shitting, can't wait to get rid of them. Yes, I don't know what he's talking about. I mean, he even bought a house right next to me in Alborari and my, I don't know, they're just having small talk. This is not going anywhere, it's just small talk.

But of course her dogs come in and poop and pee everywhere. It's so gross. And then her poop comes out, which on any other show, it's like, ha ha ha, that's an ipsa. But on this one, I just grabbed the sides of my chair like, please don't take her away. She got arrested. So it happened right from to lean and you know, because the whole thing was that Caroline saw to lean's vajayjay. And now to lean is like, oh my, how the tables have turned. I want to say it's tit for tat, but it's tit for chit.

Because, okay, so there was a breast, and sometimes breasts are called tits. So it's like a wordplay on tit for tat, but we just said tit for chit. Are you following my joke here? It's like, you got great tits, babe. That was for you, Raffy. And Raff, who's Tilleen's husband,

is like eating food off a tray and laughing very big. Lee. He's like, oh, episode. Whole episode is him laughing. Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels. She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef. But this story didn't end with a happily ever after. When I stepped into the kitchen,

I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, call 911. As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they look at would be the spouse. We understand that's usually the way they do it. But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels...

There are murders in all of the books. ...that she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy, early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Then Ayan is talking to Sergio, Sarah, and Saba.

She's like, I like free food. This is so over the top. And Sarah's just like, it's not the only thing over the top. Saba's like, wow, someone who likes free food, that's so not my people. Just not my type of person. So anyway, the group finally all sits together. Saba's so dead to me. I don't even, I didn't know that I even loved Chanel that much. I'm mixing her names together. Chanel, Aeon. I didn't know that I even loved her this much,

but I do. I'm very defensive. Fucking Saba. So, Stamber is like, so has anyone spoken to Brooks today? You know, she's not coming, right? And they're like, what? She's not coming? She's like, yes, I uninvited her. And she's like, what? You uninvited her? Yes, should I say it again? I uninvited her.

I uninvited Brooks. They're like, why would you do that? He goes, well, she called me to see you next Tuesday. All right, now it wasn't even behind my back. Listen, I want you to call me see you next Tuesday like my staff does when I'm not there. Right? Saying it to my face is just rude. I want to see it on the nanny cam. Right? I love to hear it. I just love to hear it when you don't know I can hear it. Does that make

any sense? Here's the thing. I don't mind generally being called see you next Tuesday, but unfortunately reminds me too much of the things that Sergio says to me. See you next Tuesday. See you tomorrow. See you in a few minutes. It's like get out of my space already. It's true. People are saying that woman is a real see you next Tuesday in fear. I love it. I play it back on the ring cam constantly. But when you say it right to my face, it's disrespectful, isn't it? You know, it's all context, really. So Sergio gets up because he's uncomfortable. And she says, like, you know, we know, Caroline Brooks and I built a really nice relationship. So I thought, you know, I would call

it seven in the morning, she'd be still hung over from whatever desultory lounge she was in the night before, and I'd complain to about everyone in the group. And now all of a sudden, you know, she's just a bitch. So we see a flashback to the conversation of her telling her on the phone, Listen, you can't come to my party. And Brooke's being like, Oh, that's why you fucking c-word. She's like, well, it makes messages. It's just insane. Goodbye. I love you.

There goes that fucking see you next Tuesday. I just don't get it. I mean, how do I work with that? So no, I don't want her sitting in my best friend's house, which my dogs have just sat upon. Right? So Brooks is like, well, there's not one iota in my body that gives a shit that I wasn't invited to Stan Barry's little eviction party.

Michael wants you out the hell out of his house, so get out. Okay, I'm gonna drink these flowers. Hold on, I was like, ugh. Oh. Anything. So now back home, she's like, son, go to your home, all right, go to your home. Like, mommy needs a better thing.

I'm about to freak out a little. So then back at the party, Tony's like, I'm not trying to ever stop. I mean, I don't know if I would have invited her. She's just going to be so hard. You have just unleashed the Kraken. They're like, why would you do this? She's just going to be a monster now. Yeah, but she already was.

I mean, I think it's good that Stamberry doesn't give a fuck and she's not afraid of anybody because you can't just let the terrorists run the show, guys. Okay? Yeah, so Saba's like, but she should care that she hurt Caroline. And she's like, exactly. I agree. So, everyone, Talene is like shocked because Talene's new to Real Housewives. She goes, I am shocked. You can't invite someone and then uninvite someone. I'm like, honey, you just started on this journey. That's what being a real housewife is all about. Exactly. It's part of your job description.

Did you not read the contract? So Chanel's like, well, everyone's like, well, I mean, she was just drunk. I mean, you can't just, you can't hold, hold it against someone if they're drunk. And Sarah's like, yeah, I mean, even if Brooke said, see you next Tuesday, you know, you, you can't hold, hold it against someone if they're drunk. And Sarah's like, yeah, I mean, even if Brooke said, see you next Tuesday, you know, you, you can't take it to heart when she's drinking.

Oh, please. Sarah, of all people saying, don't take it to heart. I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. And she knows like, you know, I think from what I know, see you next Tuesday is a prostitute, right? Like a cheap woman that gives vagina around a lot.

No, is that what it means? I have no idea what it means. You just don't say it. So they're like, oh, come on, she was just drinking. She's like, no, no, Sarah, I'm sorry, but if I start abusing you for the next week, and it's just because I get drunk, she goes, no, I will not accept it.

She goes, yes, well, then I don't accept it either. All right? Now, if I start abusing Sergio for the next week, that's just fun. We all agree, right? Yeah, no, yeah, that Sergio for the next week, that's just fun. We all agree, right? Yeah, no, yeah, that's fine. I mean, listen, not only is that my hobby, but I'm doing it while I'm sober. All right.

So it's very different. Technically, I'm in a trance when I do it. Listen, if abusive trances were good enough for Princess Diana, they're good enough for me. So, Sarah's like, well, can you motivate her to talk to her friend? And Chanel's like, I did, I did, I did do that. And Sarah's like, instead of motivating her to disconnect, she's like, no, no, I'm not the fucking earpiece for anyone here. And Talene's like, yeah, but you're enjoying it. You're enjoying being earpiece. And she goes, oh, I mean, yeah, no, I actually love it. I love what's going on here. I just don't want to be in the middle of it.

Yeah. And so they're like, well, you need to talk to her. And she's like, yeah, I do. She goes, and Teline's like, well, I mean, she said something like, I just got over, Stambury says, well, I just got over your See You Next Tuesday, Teline. I don't need to be cold to see you next Tuesday. She goes, yeah, I mean, you like vagina, clearly. I mean, what's happening here? Am I right? Hey, Rafi, are you laughing? I just made a vagina joke.

He's like, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! So Lisa finally arrives and Stamberry's like, oh, well, good, a new person, a new audience. All right, take it from the top, everyone. I just found out that Caroline Brooks called me

a cut fitness, so I uninvited her. Can you believe it? Uninviting, Talene, get your jaw off the ground, uninvited. It's like, well, I had dinner with her last night with Talene, and it's obvious that the common denominator of the problem here is Brooks, and she won't take responsibility for anything, but I don't everyone has a right to hate her she certainly hates you I really don't care is anyone going to comment on the perfect match of my purse to my dress nobody

because it's actually quite amazing no one. So yeah she's like Lisa Basie is like, I feel like she just kind of like dropped you like a bad habit, Caroline and to lean her to lean the whole thing is like, look, it's about something else. It's about something deeper, we should get to the bottom of it. So they're like, okay, you guys should talk or whatever. And it's so funny, because they're all calling it they're like, oh, so basically, Brooks is acting out, because she's mad that Caroline made up with Chanel and Lisa. But, you know, watching it, I'm like,

okay, well, everything doesn't have to be that deep. Maybe there's not another reason. Maybe Caroline is just like, you know what, I don't like her anymore, you know? But then it turns out it's exactly the reason Brooks is like very on the nose about it. So then now Stamber is like, well, Stuart, it's our first party without Stuart up here. So let's see how this goes. And Sarah's just rolling her eyes like, I'm friends with Stuart up. I don't like it. We call her Stuart up a tosh. Make that much sense. I get it. It took me a second there, but I realized the word play didn't really make much sense. I'm gonna go with it. I get it. It took me a second there, but I realized the word play.

It didn't really make any sense. There wasn't much to get. So then now Michael is gonna like, he's like addressing the group every, and the whole, the party, because he's going to present the cake. And he's like, he's talking to Sergio and Yasmin. And he's like, I'm telling them what I like the most and the worst about your mom and your dad. Oh, I mean your stepdad.

Actually, I mean your brother because really Caroline's more like his mother. Did I say that part out loud? Sorry, Sergio. And Yasmin's like, oh, there's a picture of my mother and Sergio on top of the cake. Finally, I'll get to know what it's like to chew my mother's head off and spit it out. Yeah. And then Yasmin's like, oh, and I like this game too. By the way, okay, can I do that? Can I say what's the worst thing about Sergio? Can I say that? Oh, please. I'm sorry. I'm tired of doing it every single day myself. Okay, great, mother. Okay, Sergio.

The problem is you're just a bit clingy. He's like, clingy? I'm not clingy. Caroline, stand by me. She's calling me clingy. You're literally holding my mother's skirt as you talk. No, I'm not. Please let me hold it tighter. She's, oh, Sergio.

So she swaps her heads on the little figurines and she's, oh, now Sergio can live out his lifelong dream of wearing a dress. He's like, oh, that's mean, Yasmin. That's very mean. I'm so proud. It's just a joke. It's just not funny. Stop it. By stop it, I mean, do it louder. Really hilarious. It's not funny. It's hilarious. You are a great, great daughter. So then Sarah pushes Sergio in the pool. And she's like, oh my god, your pants are see-through.

And so they push him back in the pool. He's like, what do I do? Swim, Sergio. I don't want to micromanage you, but come on. You have to have some initiative with certain things in your life. Sergio breathe underwater. Oh God, there he is choking. Hilarious. Sergio breathe down your own throat. All right. He can't seem to handle that one. Listen, no one's perfect. All right.

So yeah, he got thrown in the pool and it's funny. So now it's after the party and Sarah and her son, Makhtoum, are at the salon. She's getting like, a haircut or a color done or whatever and he is getting a lovely little head massage. This kid's getting a little head massage during the entire scene, good for him. So she's like, well, um, Terlene introduced me to a friend, Daniel, and he's like,

she says, why are you upset? And she says, I'm not calling this a date because this is just friends going out because in America, dating is getting to know each other. But here, where I'm from, it means he's your boyfriend and you're literally on the verge of getting married. So, this is not a date. And she's like, why are you so upset? And he's like, because men have been bad to you, mother. And she's like, but that means all men are bad? He's like, yes. She goes, well, mommy was choosing bad. Mommy had a problem. And now I'm not going to do the same mistake again. I felt so bad for that. Like this poor kid, he's been through a lot.

You can tell. And uh, like his mistrust, I mean, men are terrible. So he's got that right. But, um, I feel bad that his innocence has been kind of like, uh, you know, destroyed a little bit on that front. So she's like, okay, what is your dream dad? He goes, um, a dad that buys toys for their kids, to be nice to their kids, to give them candy, sometimes, no diabetes on my watch. It's just like, I promise you,

we'll find a dream dad for you and a dream husband for me. Hopefully he's a narcissist because that's all I date. Cause at some point in this episode, she's like, they're like, why does it never work out with you? She's like, they've all been narcissists. Like, wow, everyone. But I'm sure also Sarah, every time they go to like a candy store and Mark Thun wants to have some candy, she's like, no, no, no, it's going to give you diabetes. Like why else would he be like, no diabetes on my watch? it's gonna give you diabetes. Like why else would he be like, no diabetes on my watch?

She's like, do you want to turn out to be like my best friend who we call diabetes? I was like no. She actually was trying to eat very healthy, but sabotage kept on putting candy bars in her salads. Okay, so now Lisa and her mom scene, they go shopping together and it's funny because they're in old, they're in old Dubai and she's saying old Dubai is completely different because

new Dubai is glitz and glamour and old Dubai breathes and eats Dubai culture. And so it's just her going around shopping for stuff and haggling with the guys and she's like, stop, I'm not a tourist. I'll give you 30. She was the best haggler. I loved her. They's like, stop, I'm not a tourist, I'll give you 30. I loved her, they're like, this will be 53. No, stop it, I'm not a tourist, I live here, 30, come on. She doesn't even, she's like, you will take 30. He's like, okay.

They put up no resistance at all to her, they're like fine. At one point the guy's like, okay, this will be 140. She's like, no, I want a good price and good quality. He's like, okay, this'll be 140. He, she's like, uh, no, I want a good price and good quality. He's like 40. Okay. You want to go see it from 140 to 40. So then, um, they, she's like, I just, I love spending time with my mom. Our bonding has always been shopping.

When I was a little girl in Jamaica, we would just hop on a flight and an hour later we'd be at a Toys R Us. What? What the hell kind of childhood is that? I want that childhood. That's the dream. That is literally the dream. So, um, now she's, you know, she's like, no, she gets to take her mom out luxury shopping. So they, they're walking through this suit. It looks so fun by the way, you know, cause I'm on my whole, uh, I'm on my whole sewing cake. So now I, now I look at fabrics, like literally yesterday, Ron and I were texting and I was

like, I'm going to Joanne fabrics. And then you texted me, you're like, are you still at Joanne fabrics? And I'm like, I'm at Joanne fabrics. And I sent you a photo of me, uh, buying surgery thread and a Reese's pieces it's actually still on my screen right here I see it right here on this anyway I love our lives right now we're like both living our best life you're at Joanne's fabric and I'm at a tile store asking to see 90 million tiles we're like living our dreams.

It's a beautiful thing, you guys. It's so cute. So anyway, they sit down, they have, they sit down at a restaurant that's on the water and they're gonna be getting freshly caught seafood. I was actually so jealous. I was like, this looks amazing right now. And especially when the food does arrive,

it's just this like delicious seafood that looks like it's in maybe a Malaysian kind of sauce or something. I wanted to be in that restaurant. Yeah, seafood tower, you know, it's a seafood tower kind of an episode. Which was not really a tower, but I just want to say this was not a tower. I think Courtney from Below Deck would be very offended because this was a platter with seafood. It was not a tower of, and especially in Dubai, where things are, or towers are really towers.

It was, felt like a miss. So we find out a little bit about Lisa. I think we knew some of this, but she's talking about her and her mom and how close they are, and that growing up, she was a daddy's girl, but then that changed when she found out her dad had a whole other family in Canada.

It was like, wow. Wow. Your family, What a life. I mean, you got to fly to you got to fly to Toys R Us. He was flying to a different family. I feel like every time that family left the house on a plane, something very dramatic happened. Like, there was just no normal trip for this family. You know, it was always something huge. What if the other family was Lisa Hoxdeen? for this family. You know, it was always something huge.

What if the other family was Lisa Hoxdeen? Canada. Cause Lisa Hoxdeen has like, cause she has some Jamaican in her bloodline, right? Like, isn't it that her same thing there? Like didn't her mom or her moms came from Jamaica or something like that? That's true. Yeah. I would love if Lisa Hoxdeen and Lisa Malone were actually half sisters. Yeah, it was like the full circle. It would really just fuck me up actually.

So they're talking about whether the mom is going to move there and she's like, you're supposed to move, you're only supposed to be here two years, it's been 10. She's like, yeah, we're not going to move. We're extremely rich. So we're richer than you and we're not going to move. We're extremely rich. So we're richer than you and that means you have to move. And the mom's like, maybe I'll move because I don't ever have to work again. She's like, okay, mom, let's make it happen. Yeah. She pulls the old, uh, don't you want to see your grandkids card? And like, no, mom can really resist that. I think. Yeah. Yeah. So it went every time. So now, uh,

Rafi and Talene are driving in a convertible white Ferrari talking about how hot it is exactly. Why do you have a Ferrari in Dubai? I mean, a convertible in Dubai. Yikes. I know it's like you're basically saying like, let me see what it's like to be in a blow dryer. So, um, they are driving on the way to this double date with Sarah and the bald guy from last episode. And, um, then you're wondering, you know, like is it going to work whatever. And Celine's saying like, you know, Sarah,

she's obviously gorgeous. Like she's not going to have a hard time meeting a guy, but it's finding the right guy, you know? And so the producer was like, Teline, why are you so interested in setting Sarah up? She's like, I'm Armenian. That's why it's what we do. It's in her blood. Like we want to set people up and want to procreate for the people. I mean, look at Raffi and I, it was like a matchmaking. It was like matchmaking to our family. Raffi, aren't you so happy with the way things turned out? So they go for this double date night with Sarah and she's like, oh God, you know, like

a little, I'm just so nervous for Sarah. I mean, what if they, what if they're together and they have a big fallout and a breakup and it's all on me? What's going to happen? I want to see where my head goes. Rafi, I'm insane. Rafi, you're being very quiet. Exactly.

Exactly. Rafi. So Sarah shows up and she's like in all leather and she's like, oh my God, I looked like very quiet. Exactly. Exactly. Rafi. So Sarah shows up and she's like in all leather and she's like, Oh my God, I looked like I just got off a motorcycle. This is so wild. And Talina's like, I know. And I looked like the bride cause I'm, I'm an Armenian matchmaker. It's what we do. So they sit down and, um, this is where Talina is like, so what's been the common denominator in the guys you've all you picked in the past. She's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I. And Rafi's like, yeah, it is hard to be with a narcissist. I don't know how you do it, honey. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. She's like, oh, you're not a narcissist. He's a Gemini, so he might as well be a narcissist. You know, Geminis, am I right? And Sarah goes, Geminis are good.

What are you? And Tullin's like, I'm a Libra. Sarah goes, oh, I don't get along with Libra men, but Libra women I do. Libra. Sarah goes, oh, I don't get along with Libra men. But Libra women I do. Libra men, no. Very different. So then in comes the guy, Daniel. And he sits down and Sarah's like,

oh, so you speak full-on Arabic, right? So she starts speaking in Arabic. And she asks, like, you understand Arabic, but in Arabic? And he's like, yeah, I speak Arabic. Like they're just sort of having some rudimentary conversation in Arabic. And he's like, yeah, I speak Arabic. Like they're just sort of having some rudimentary conversation in Arabic, but like that's not his first language. And he's not, you can see he's not totally comfortable speaking it. And she's like, come on, talk to me in Emirati. Come on, talk to me. He's like, uh, how are you? She's like, Oh, I don't

want to be mean, but his Arabic is disgusting. Ugh. What a disgusting, disgusting attempt at my language, especially when you're bald and you speak it so badly, it just makes it so much worse. Oh, that was such Libra Arabic. Oh, disgusting. So, Tulene's like, okay, what do you really want to know about Daniel? There's gotta be some questions you want to know.

Just go and ask whatever you want. Have you been to jail? He's like, I'm an open book. No, I questions you want to know. Just go ahead and ask whatever you want. Have you been to jail? He's like, I'm an open book. No, I haven't been to jail. You know why? Because I've never been caught. Okay, well I'm not laughing as hard as Rafi, but it was good.

Rafi, get off the floor, Rafi. Rafi, come on. Rafi, come on. Sorry, I was waiting for Tilly to prompt me. So then, so then Rafi is like, yeah, you have a jail fetish. And Sarah goes, boring. And Tony's like, what, do you have like 17 cats or something? He's like, no, I'm more of a dog person. He like winks. And Sarah's like, gross.

And then Sarah's like, um, do you believe in aliens? It's like, uh, I think I do. I feel like I don't know the right answer to this question. I feel like it's a trap. What should I say? She's like, look, I'm trying to, I'm trying to show that I have a really crazy personality. I mean, look, I'm into astrology and I'm into aliens. So I'm like a girl with personality. Am I right? Because aliens are so important. So if you don't believe in aliens, forget it, because we're going to be talking about about aliens like 18 out of 900 days. So like you better know. Oh god, you're just so unique, Sarah. You know, fun fact, I actually saw UFO and it wasn't just like a light in the sky. It was like a full

fledged like big flying saucer landed in my backyard. I took a whole big video of it. It was amazing. But then Sapa came over and threw my phone in the water. God sabotage sabotage. She's so harsh. So um, to lean is like, so what do you think of him? What do you think of him? She's like, um, he's very nice. But I see myself more being good friends with him. He's a Libra. No, he's a Libra who doesn't believe in aliens and can't really speak Arabic very well. And he's bald. Let's not

forget that part. So now it's the Stamberry and Brooks meeting. So they meet at a place called the Secret Garden. I don't know why I think that's so funny, just because it's just like such a little girl name. It's such a what? What'd you say? I said, because it's a public space. It's a secret garden. Yeah, so they're at this place, the secret garden, and Stamberg gets to be inducted into the... I'm sorry, I'm having my husband drive around the block. I can't seem to find you. Sorry, ma'am, that's the point.

Well... Can I order? Not until you find this man. Where the hell are you? Sorry, can't tell you. I actually chose this place because I knew Sergio would never be able to find me here. I told him I was at a secret garden, he'd spend the entire afternoon scouring Dubai instead of just looking in Google Maps. So, she joins the pack. I'm not surprised at all. She wants to make it a point that her time is more valuable than my time. I get it.

It's why I made Sergio stay in a locked bathroom for 37 minutes this morning. All right, until I let him out. I get it. Listen, I genuinely have so much fun with Brooks, especially when we're making fun of the same person and making them cry and regret all their life choices. But I need to understand what has switched overnight. It just, it can't be just what I said I saw Tallin's bits, which I did see,

by the way, going around circle after circle. Imagine a windmill. Imagine going to Holland and seeing a windmill and every two seconds one of those windmills shows a vagina. That's what it was like. And I'm not saying that's why Caroline has an issue with me, but I'm wondering if that's just part of something much larger. Mm-hmm. So Brooks comes and it's 26 minutes late. Dun, dun, dun. So she's like, oh, you're on the phone. What are you talking about?

House stuff? Is that what you're talking about? Love the phone? She's like, yes, a lot going on. You're a little late. She goes, oh, yeah, a little bit. Sorry about that. You know, I have a new business and, you know, we just opened not too long ago.

The first six months of business, you know how that is. You're rushing next having to fix toilets that he probably fucked up in the first place because he sat his big ass down on him. You know how that goes. By the way, there was no way that Caroline was actually Caroline Sambury was actually on the phone with anyone. When Caroline Brooks walked in, she saw Caroline Brooks, Parker Carr was like, Oh, hold on real quickly. She just holds her phone up. She's like, get the tile. I'm being very busy because I've had to wait so long

for someone that I've started to take phone calls during my social time. Oh, you're here. Hold on, I have to call you back. It's like, ah, you're holding your phone the wrong way. It's a new type of phone that you speak through the back of it, that's all. She's like, okay, well, I guess that you're busy. But we all

have stuff going on. Caroline, she goes, Yeah, yeah. So the waiter comes over and they order and stuff. And she's like, Okay, let's what's going on with us. Okay. And she's like, Oh, look, obviously, I'm triggered. Like about comments made about Celine. That really triggered me. I mean, comments about her vagina, she fell down, her vagina. And Sambury's like, oh my god, can we just let it go, please, please let it go. She's like, Talene has moved on. Why on earth am I explaining this to Brooks? But clearly it's not just a joke. I think she's jealous of my relationship with Lisa and

Ayan, to be fair. And she lied it when I was on my island because I could, she could save me and now I don't need saving it. Actually, I do need saving because I see that Sergio's approaching. So I need her to run interference. I do need saving from Sergio. Please take Sergio. All right. Leave me with Lisa and Ayan. Just take Sergio. Anything. I'll give you anything to take him out of my hair. So Brooks is like, well, a friend comes to me and says, hey, have my back and do this and do that.

And I expect it to be reciprocated. So did I feel that from you? I did not feel reciprocated from you. And she's like, when it came to Ion, listen, Caroline would call me crying all the time because these girls were so mean to her. And then I stopped my friendship with them for her. And then she turns around and becomes besties with them. So what the hell? Where does that leave me? Pete It leaves you in a position where you should just become friends with them again, because obviously, they're fickle enough that they'll become friends with Caroline Sandberg, so that means they'll take you back. No problem. Jared But it's also not fair to say that the only reason she's not friends with those girls is because of Caroline.

My God. Yeah, she was fighting with them. Plenty on her own when it had nothing to do with Stamberry from what I remember. But loyalty is a friendship, which is two ways. You called me a see you next Tuesday. And she's if I did tell you that, that is, it's so out of line. But by the way, we both had far worse in our life. Did you, right? Did you die? No, you're fine. Yeah, but you didn't die from it. And besides, you've got see you next Tuesday on your LinkedIn profile. Well, that's in the complimentary way.

If I say it is something that I've accomplished, yes, but not someone saying it in the same room as me. I mean, it's just disrespectful. Does no one understand the rules of See You Next Tuesday? I think we all understand. If you have a British accent, you can say it and it's hilarious. If you have an American accent, it's wildly offensive. What don't you get? Extremely rude. All right, you can't say that where you're from. And Stamberry is like, she's not taking accountability for anything, you know. It's just wildly offensive. What don't you get? Extremely rude, all right? You can't say that where you're from. And Stamberry is like, she's not taking accountability for anything, you know?

So I'm just gonna be causal with her, but I don't see myself trusting her because she says one thing to my face and another behind my back. You stupid cut fitness. I could hear that. It was technically behind your back. Isn't that a compliment?

All right, well, at least you're trying, all right? You know what? You're from the farms of England. You're not Princess Diana, Isn't that a compliment? All right, well, at least you're trying. All right. You know what? You're from the farms of England. You're not Princess Diana, even though it feels like you're sort of in a trance state that resembles hers. God rest her soul.

Humble yourself, love. So that's that. They agreed to work on it. Which means that it's just gonna get worse and worse from here on out. Yeah. Well, that was's just gonna get worse and worse from here on out. Yeah, well that was fun. It sure was. Sorry again to any Sarah heads out there.

Whatever I said about Sarah. Now I need to research to really figure out how deeply I stuck my foot into my mouth. No, no, no. You were trying to make a joke about, because there are definitely people who are always like, oh gosh, it's not, I'm the one who who's I'm the one who's great in these situations So, you know, I we I think we all know you didn't mean it from a place like that. So

Anyway, thank you all for being here and for listening and we appreciate you all and we will catch you on the next episode Bye everyone Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alice and King Ashley Savoni. See don't take no baloney Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeee eeeee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee e She has no last name II have a Nagila Weber Know your worth with Jason Kurt zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan Kristen the piston Anderson. Let's give a kisser Reno to Lisa Lino We want to hang with Liz Lang Meganberg you can't have a burger without the Berg the Bay Area Betches Betches and Betches. And our super

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If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed as frauds. But none of this was their idea. So whose idea was it?

Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in, no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist. Two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal, and phenomenal dancers. The only problem? They couldn't sing. But Frank knew just how to fix that.

Wondery's new podcast, Blame It On The Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Milli Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Milli Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.