Watch What Crappens - #2482 Below Deck Med (S09E06): Don’t Look Back in Anchor

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Ellie and Bri continue to feud on Below Deck Med while Iain drops the ball yet again. It all leads to anchor drama that’s so dire that all three of the nameless crew members emerge from their hole to help. To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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ad free right now on Wondery Plus. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crap In, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only, the wonderful Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hi, good. Thank you. Great to be here.

Oh my God. So great to have you here. So great. We're here to talk below deck med. Um, before we dive into that though, we do have like a fun little, uh, many announcements to make, which is that for years, people have been saying, Hey, um, how do I go through your back catalog of shows? Like for instance, if I want to listen to all your recaps, uh, Real Housewives of New Jersey, season eight, like, how do I do that?

There's so many shows on Watcher Crappins. Well, thanks to our lovely friend, Paul, who has been going through and organizing, uh, the back catalog into playlists, we now have some enhanced back catalog and navigational greatness going on. If you go to the watcher crap insight, we have now arranged the back catalogs for below deck med, real housewives of New York, real housewives of New Jersey,

real housewives of orange County and winter is crapening, uh, by season. Meaning that like I just said, if you wanted to hear, you know, our recap of Real Housewives, all our recaps of Real Housewives of New York, season eight, now you can easily do that. You just go to the website. There's a tab there that now says back catalogs. You just go there and you just follow the navigation and you'll go to the New York page and you'll scroll down, scroll down to the Spotify playlist. These are organized by Spotify playlist, by the way. So, um,

if you don't want to have to keep coming to our website, you can just, I think add the playlist to your Spotify library, whatever you want to do. So, uh, hopefully that makes it a lot easier for everyone to access our back catalog. And right now we've started out with those five shows because, um, you know, some of them are airing, New York is coming back soon. We will be adding more shows to our back catalog, uh, inventory as Paul organizes them, et cetera. Um, so we'll make announcements as new shows go live on our site, quote unquote.

Obviously all these shows are still available to anyone to listen to. You just, you know, even if they're not on our site, you can navigate our back catalog, this just makes it a little easier. So, um, if that's something that you want to do, if you're going to go on a road trip, if you like going down memory lane, uh, then go check out the back catalogs feature now on watch orrappens.com. Yay. Hurrah. Hurrah. Yeah.

Huzzah, as they say. All right. So today is a below deck med day. What do you think of that, Ben? Oh, I think great things about that. What do you think about that, Ronnie? Love it. You know, I've been thinking a lot about poor Ellie this week, you know, just really has it rough over there. Just been thinking this poor, poor Ellie. Now, we've been watching some Love Island as well, which I'm new to. I'm new to that show because I had watched a lot of Bachelor and Bachelorette in my day to do another podcast called Rose Pricks, which is still on. I'm not on it, but it's still there. And I used to do that. So I watched a lot. So I had enough hoary. And I mean that for both boys and girls. And so I had kind of given up on that for a while. And now we have that in our lives. But it really is crazy

to see how much these shows have all learned from those shows, because now this show is just that show. It's just people feeling like they're losers if they're not fucking somebody on camera. I don't think they even like the people that they're fucking on camera. They just feel like they need to be fucking somebody to be worth anything. And I just don't know what that's doing for the evolution of the human species, but I do know that it's very entertaining to me, especially when the people who are fighting over Dick are maids or bug people, pest control people, like the snake guy on Love Island. So I just want to say, you know, thank you for all the desperation and gaping open woundery that's been happening on TV.

Yeah. For a moment when you said the pest people, I thought you were going to talk about the gay that we profiled on Dwell Hello this week, which will be coming up later in the week, but our Dwell Hello episode this week follows a gay pest control guy in Brisbane. And so that's why I said you can go ahead. See, it's even affected House Hunters because even House Hunters, the guy feels like it's a House Hunters episode and he still needs to be getting dick in the House Hunters episode. This is true.

To prove that he's worthy, you know? Not even a joke. So it just goes to further prove my point. I mean, these shows have really just changed everything. Well, it's such a weird concept to me to think like, okay, I'm a right now. You're a guy who's here right now working on the house. And I thought, is anybody going to try to fuck me? Am I worth anything?

Well, imagine it's just funny to go into a workplace and say, okay, I'm here first day at my job, who am I going to hook up with? You know, like, that's just not what I would personally think about. I mean, I do. Of course, that's the only reason to go to work. Listen, I always said when you don't want to go to work, just think today I could meet my husband, you know, like, especially waiting tables because you meet so many different people every day. Sometimes that's the only thing motivating me. Like, there could be a penis on a stick at the end of this, you know? Like, especially waiting tables because you meet so many different people every day. Sometimes that's the only thing motivating me. Like, there could be a penis on a stick at the end of this, you know? Like the carrot on a stick, just like, like a little penis being dangled in front of me in my own mind. And I would go every

day. I very rarely missed work. I also very rarely got dick at work. But you know what? Kept me interested. I do wish that we had asked Asia, by the way, there is an Asia interview. If you, you may have missed it, that was up, came up about a week ago, but I do kind of wish we had asked her like our yacht romances as prevalent as they are on below deck, because it really has gotten to a point where people show up on this boat and

say, okay, I want to hook up with that person. I want to hook up with that person. And it's like, are you doing this because you're genuinely attracted to these people? Are you really that horny? Or is it that you are trying to carve out your storyline for this season? Yeah, why not both?

Right? Why not both? So here we are, it's early AM and Brie and Ellie are still fighting about a man. And Ellie's like, Brie, I'm sorry, but your lack of experience shows and you are not being aware how both works. So you saying, oh, you're belittling me. There's a chain of command. You are on the belittle end of the chain. Okay? There's big belittle chain or tiny belittle chain. You are a little tiny Lincoln chain of belittle. Okay? How dare you? How dare you?

But sometimes you make me feel dumb and it hurts. It's like, Bri, you are putting the iron on the washing machine, right? Your iron washing machine. Other things that make Bri feel dumb. Numbers. Electricity. Words. Instructions. Yeah. Just general instructions. Ingredient lists on the back of peanut butter. Tin foil. You might not feel as dumb if you stop doing dumb things. Yeah. Um, and Ellie's like, well, maybe it is your own insecurity that you feel about

yourself. That's true. But you're also yelling about somebody swooping in and getting the eyebrows that you wanted to bang. So, I don't know that you're really in the house to be throwing that stone. You know what I mean? You're in a glass house. Throw it in a other kind of house. So, I never said you were dumb, just that you're very slow and don't understand many, many things in life or practical things or understand, you know, gravity, stuff like that. But you're not dumb. So don't come at me with no goddamn bullshit no more.

I've had it. I'm done. I'm done with your goddamn bullshit. So Bree's like, she's on some hard trips and I feel like she has something against me because I hooked up with Joe. I hooked up with Joe so maybe she has something against me because I hooked up with her. I hooked up with her so maybe she has something against me. Yeah, surely you're not going to make it worse by coming back for more again and again.

Just please, before she goes, hug her and then say, It's just that you make me feel so stupid. You belittle me. So, Ellie's like, she doesn't listen to me, whether she realizes or not, both Asia and I are her supervisors. I'm like, are you her supervisor? I'm not sure that you are. Yeah, it's the second Stu power trip. You know, it's an old classic. And so Bree's like, my feelings are valid. And if she doesn't want to hear about my feelings, then that's her feelings. And I can't invalidate her feelings, because everybody has feelings. And everybody's feelings deserve to be validated. This is definitely the thing these days is to, when someone is going off,

you say, your feelings are valid. Let me tellon No, let me tell you something. Let me tell you what's even more freeing than accepting all of that. Here's the most freeing thing you can learn to say. Your feelings are stupid, okay? Keep your feelings to yourself. We're at work. No one cares about your feelings, okay? So, best therapy I ever got. I went in as a teenager, I've told you this before, but I went the first time in therapy. It wasn't really therapy, it was a spiritual advisor. And a friend of mine was like, wow, you're really going through the shit, got kicked out of your house, got sent to a mental hospital because you're gay, etc., etc. I was like 15. So, I go in, I start sobbing to this lady. I tell her everything about my, you know, crazy Christian parents and

being kicked out of the house and struggling with homosexuality and blah, blah. I mean, I just unload the whole thing. And at the end, I'm sobbing and she goes, are you done? And I said, yeah. And she said, Ronnie, let me give you a piece of advice. Nobody cares about all that. Everybody else has their own feelings. And when you walk into a room, nobody's thinking about what's making you sob that day. So, you just need to walk into every room and remember that everybody has a story that they could sit here and sob about too. It's not just you. So, move on with your life." And I was like, wow, that was like the most freeing thing ever. She was not saying, don't have your feelings. She was just like, don't wallow in this. There's other shit to do. You know what I mean? Like, have you heard of a Chili's? Go get a fried onion.

You know, do that. Pete Slauson Fried onion sounds delicious right now, I have to say. Jared Lark delicious right now. I have to say, it sounds so good. I can't even tell you. Listen, guys, don't wallow in your feelings. Eat them. Okay. That's my therapy. Take that and enjoy it. It was free. I would love an onion ring right now. So, uh, well, that's some interesting Well, that's your feelings and I will not invalidate. Yes, my hunger, my hunger is validated. Thank you. You're hungry and that's a valid feeling for you. I love

that Bre has taken it so far that she's like, well, my feelings are valid. And even though she's being a total bitch, her feelings are valid and I can't take that away from her. I'm like, you can take those away from her. She's being a bitch to you. Yeah, you can take it away. All feelings are not valid, okay? Just not, sorry. Stupid part of modern, that's the stupid part of modern living. Everyone's feelings are not, just because you call them feelings does not make them valid, okay? People are feeling that gay people shouldn't have equal rights and that women should not have choices over their own bodies. Guess what? Your feelings are invalid. Fuck your feelings. Fuck you and fuck your feelings. There. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

So then we go to Aisha organizing breakfast with the guest, Brittany, who's a disaster. Like, I just don't like Brittany. I can't help it. Don't like her. And so, meanwhile, Jono is getting stuff ready and he's like, lobster eggs, Benedict's coming, but it needs to be hot. Puppy, pussy popping. Hey, anybody have an ingredients list for pussy because it's about to pop and we're seeing some real growths from John Oh cuz he says what I've learned from last charger is I don't want to put out cold eggs I was like oh my god I'm so glad you learned this lesson as a chef that cold eggs are not ideal. Can't believe he even said that. And he was like, I'm gonna make these eggs, Benny, nice and fresh.

I still think my job is on the line though. No complaints, no complaints. You're getting warm eggs. Okay, fresh eggs for everybody. Wow. Congratulations. The only thing worse is if he said, this charger, what I've learned is that chicken can't be raw. It's like, you're a chef, you should know these things. So now everyone gathers and Sandy's like, hey everyone, how was your dinner? This is a trick question because I already know the answer. And they're like, fabulous, it was wonderful. Okay it was wonderful okay great well we're gonna haul anchor at 11 and then we're gonna go to our next destination it's a very cool place but I don't want to take it

away because Asia's gonna tell you all about it oh my god Asia oh okay I'm not gonna I'm not gonna spoil it okay wait it's an island okay that's all I'm gonna say that's all I'm gonna say Asia it's your you say the rest Asia all Ely, could you put the cutlery out so it doesn't look like we forgot the cutlery? And she's like, okay, copy. And we don't see this, but I don't think that Ellie does this because later they're like, oh my God, Ellie's not doing anything I'm asking her to do. And then we get a clip of Asha asking her to do everything, but we don't see a clip of Ellie not doing everything that she was being asked to do. Of course, I guess you can't have a clip of not doing things, I guess. So I don't know what my argument

is here, but I have a feeling this is kind of like the Hannah edit where Hannah was always shown outside smoking. But I was like, wait a minute, that's the same time of day that she was smoking last time. The sun's in the same place. You can't just play the same smoking clip over and over to prove laziness. And I wonder if that's happening to Ellie. Poor sweet Ellie who never did anything to anybody. Yeah. Ellie's having a real hard time this episode with cutlery. It just does not seem to be working for her in the sense that the act of putting it on a table is just, it's just a little bit one. It's just, it's a bridge too far for her today. Yeah, it's a far bridge. Oh, I just got a

text from a friend that says, Jesus, Ellie sucks. Well, that's not, I'm over here trying to stand up for Ellie. I love Ellie. And I think on Instagram, her name is the Balkan Biscuit. Isn't that her name, Ben? I think it's something like that. Yeah. that. Pete Slauson Yeah. Ben Shulkin Especially comments sometimes on Instagram. She'll be like, well, let me tell you, something about the upside down wounds is because our epaulettes were upside down. I'm like, oh, thank you. Pete Slauson She doesn't sound big. Ben Shulkin You're a supervisor, Ellie. Ben Shulkin I'm like, you're not my supervisor. I am actually your supervisor.

Pete Slauson You know, something that cracked me up, because I don't know if it's going to be in the notes or not, because it was such a small moment. But at one point Trishel was talking about Ellie and she goes, her name's Ellie, right? She's really nice. And I was like, I love that Trishel. This is so Trishel that she comes on this boat and after like three days, she still doesn't know Ellie's name. She's calling her Ellie the entire time. It's a days, she still doesn't know Ellie's name. She's calling her Allie the entire time.

It's a tough, it's a tough charter. It's a very tough charter for Ellie. But my point was before I, cause you know, I just start talking about nothing. I love Ellie because her name has biscuit in it. The Balkan biscuit on Instagram. Boobies and biscuits. I'm into it.

Does that mean that you're also a limp biscuit fan? No, I don't like limp things. I mean, Limp outweighs the biscuit danger of that name. It really does. But I don't want a hard biscuit either. I just don't want to have to think about penises and biscuits at the same time. I'm usually indulging in one of those things separately from the other. That's not the things that I mix in my mind. Dick and biscuit. What about a fan called perfect biscuit? Perfect biscuit Dick and biscuit. Like a band called perfect biscuit,

perfect biscuit, fluffy biscuit. How about that? I'm buying the box set. I'm going to the concert. I'm in now. That's something I'll pay a thousand dollars to see, you know, biscuit, biscuit, Swift, the era's tour. Uh, that wasn't even a pun. Why don't I even say that? You're as tour. that wasn't even a pun. Why don't I even say that? The euros tour wasn't even a biscuit. I don't know. It's trying to make that work the biscuit in my head and it never came

together. It's like, I'm sure it's just a biscuit doing the euros tour. It's just a biscuit on stage singing, you know, like, we will never ever, ever get back together. No, we're not seeing that because no one breaks up with biscuits. That one. It would sing. Hey, hi, I'm the problem. It's me because I've definitely had biscuits sing that to me when I'm like, why am I gaining weight? And biscuits are like, Hey, hi, I'm the problem. It's me. Yeah. Biscuits would sing that one.

Or they could also sing. We never go out of style, we never go out. Biscuits just like mocking Scones. Scones like, listen, like people keep calling me dry, but I'm actually pretty good if you think about it. Biscuits like, we're never out of style, we're not Biff, we're not Scones. Like that's not even the lyric. Like I know.

Oh, cruel biscuit. There's that little boy at the end of the stage. I'm on a cruel biscuit. How does bad blood? Bad biscuit blood. I got biscuit blood. That's the biscuit and scone rivalry song. You know what the Biscuit Heroes Tour, that little boy shows up at the edge of the stage and it's like, I want a picture with the Biscuit. It's just like a little crumb. Every time I'm at a Weight Watchers meeting and I look at the scale at the weigh-in part, I'm always thinking, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Shame on me now. I'm just singing it to a biscuit. I mean, biscuits really work for Taylor Swift, but like 90% of her wildest dreams. What do I dream about? Biscuits. Gorgeous. Biscuit. Oh, I know what Taylor Swift's song is. But Daddy, I love him. How about, ooh, look what you made me do. Look what you you made me do. Biscuit. Biscuit. That's the Biscuit story right there.

Yeah. Full on Biscuit. I can do it with a broken heart. Biscuit. Um, lover, Biscuit. Lover. Fortnite. Biscuit. That's Fortnite Biscuit. What about? White space Biscuit. Karma. Where the Biscuit used to be. Karma. Shake it off. Biscuit. Literally a Biscuit. What about the one that's like 16 and a... Wait, I don't remember how that song was like. I am like, you're my Romeo.

I'm your Juliet. That's biscuit. Yep. That's biscuit. Don't blame me. Biscuit completely. A hundred percent. Don't blame me.

Lavender Haze. Lavender Haze. That's biscuit. If you're having a lavender scented biscuit. Gorgeous biscuits. So high school biscuit literally works for every song. Thank you. You're welcome, Taylor Swift. Everyone always thought she was singing about her exes, but it turns out that we've cracked the code. She's been singing about biscuits all this time. She was singing about her ex biscuits like other biscuits that she's had. You know, when she gets up on stage and she points at the audience, she's just pointing

at biscuits that she sees. That's all. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer, your favorite quadruple threat, actor, singer, dancer, and my new role, podcaster. My podcast Baby This is Kiki Palmer is blowin' up y'all, cuz every episode I bring on an icon.

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Oh my god. Aisha, do it. I'm about to. Aisha, it's gonna be good. Guys, this is one of Aisha's best numbers. Don't talk. Nobody talk. Aisha, tell him. It's cool. Do it. It's Moany Island. She's going to Mooney Island, congratulations. God damn it, Zambi. Here she comes now going to an island. Boop, boop, boop.

Shotgun bay and I'm going on a yacht. So yeah, yeah, yeah. God, when does the Mooney part come with the song? I really started too early. I'm best at moaning as fast as I can. Moony moony, moony moony, moony moony, what an island, moony. Oh, God, there, finally got it. Downstairs, Jono's just like popping my pussy, popping my pussy. Oh, I love moony moony. someone think money money money yeah we're going to money island this little cave there you have to swim through a little hole in the cave I have some

thoughts about this cave but we'll get there so gave sucks okay this cave flat out sucks was there a cave because it looks just like a little divot in a rock it's's not a divot. I mean, it's not a cave. It's a divot. Pete Slauson It was literally a rock vagina. They went in there and that was, and it was shallow. It was, it was not a cave. It was not proper. And caves do suck. Everyone knows that whenever you watch Our Planet or Planet Earth or whatever, the episodes about caves are always the worst episodes, right? Jared Slauson Yeah, it's also something in New Mexico, it's like a tourist thing that we go to, Carlsbad Caverns, and you go through the caves and the caverns and you look at the stalactites,

the bat poops and stuff. And I always kind of liked it because it's like naturally cool down there, but otherwise it's just like a cave and I don't really get it. Caves are beautiful, but like they're also so scary. And when people talk about how they go on these cave dives or whatever, and they have to go, like, I just don't, I think that we're not meant to go into caves and we shouldn't, you know, maybe a light cave, but nothing really too excessive. Even Jesus refused to stay in a cave. He resurrected right out of one when they tried burying him in one. He was like, no, caves are stupid, I'm out of here. And they're like, oh my God, it's a miracle.

He just hated caves that much. Pete Slauson He said, love it or list it. And he went for list it. He listed that shit. He listed it. He's like, listing the cave, I'm taking a loss on this cave. That's how much this cave sucks. So, they're going to Monee Island. And then of course, Marsha's like, oh, I can't, I can't go there. I can't get in the water like I have peacock hair. Because Marsha still has her, like, I slept on my hair and that's my style kind of hair. I don't know. I feel like Marsha needs to get other things to cling on to because that's not it.

Marsha, it's not working for you, the hair. You need to find something else for your personality. But that's my iconic thing. I'm Marsha doll. So, and Asia's like, can you swim? Okay. She's like, no. So Asia's like, she's like, I really love Marsha's attitude. I really do. But do you imagine putting that much effort into how you look every day? Oh my god, I get exhausted looking at her. I can't do it. I'm like, to be fair, you also live in a van

and poop in a bucket. So really, anyone who puts on just basically a clean shirt is like, Oh my god, all that effort to look good every day. So then she radios Jono. Oh, they love the Benedict, Jono. Absolutely amazing. the Benedict John oh absolutely amazing what was that that was my pussy it popped my pussy literally popped right now so that Ellie goes down into the crew mess and and Joe is there and she's like what's going on did you hurt yourself he's like no I just have so many cuts and he has like a pile of band-aids. Did you notice it was like a little bird's nest of band-aids? He's just sitting there like taping himself up. I'm like, what has happened to this man? Yeah, what is happening to that? And why don't we see how he's cutting himself so much?

Is it on the thing that he can't turn properly or whatever? I wonder he spends every episode like pulling that winch like right every episode There's always a scene where he's down there like squatting winch. Like, every episode, there's always a scene where he's down there like squatting and being like, oh, it's not gonna catch, it's not catching. I'm like, what is going on with poor Joe? And he's just sitting there in the corner. He actually looks really cute. He's just like taping up his bandaged hands with so many band-aids. Yeah, I don't think we're supposed to say winch anymore, by the way. I think that word

has been canceled. We need to come wench anymore, by the way. I think that word has been cancelled We need to come up with another word the anchor holder, I don't know, mwink anchor puller. So Ellie's like, what is going on with Brie in this sleepover situation, bloody Joel? And he's like, oh, you see, you see, I don't, I decay, I decay, I decay, I decay. Listen, all I know is I've put a mattress on me floor and it's not beyond me because you know who else used to do that? Grandpappy!

Grandpappy Paperson! Proud to do it. You know, she's creating drama for no reason. And she's just going to get out of her way to be like, oh, I'm victim, but nobody has done anything to you, so shut the fuck up, get to your work, get to your bed. There's nothing to do with me. I was like, the moment she said this, I was like, oh my God, Ronnie is gonna love Ellie forever.

As soon as she said, oh, I'm the victim, I was like, oh, she's speaking Ronnie's language right now. Well, except that she is being a victim while she's accusing somebody else of playing the victim. I'm so sick of being the victim of somebody else's claiming to be victim. Oh, it hurts. Is she the victim. I'm so sick of being the victim of some of the answers claiming to be victim. Oh, it hurts. Is she the victim? Questionable. So, um, then we go back to the guests having breakfast and Sandy is like, that crew, that crew, you can start howling

the anchor. You can start howling the anchor. Morning, morning, morningi Moni Oh yeah. Anyone? Anyone? Okay. Why? Guess it's still me masturbating Moni. You know what's funny? I actually did listen to Moni Moni recently. It was it came on the radio and I was like, I haven't listened to the song in so long. And I just cranked it up so loud. And I was like, good song. It's a banger. I was like so into it. And then I got pulled into my garage. I was like, and then I was like, Oh, I'm playing this too loudly. Cause I'm definitely that person right now who's playing a song who thinks that like, like I can hear it in my car and no one else can. And clearly probably everyone else could in the complex could hear me pulling in

blasting, moni, moni. And then I got so mad. Don't be embarrassed. That's like some old guy realness right there. Just like blasting moni, moany in your car. Moana moana! Moana moana! Yeah, take that, rappers! So now we go to the deck team hauling anchor, which is their favorite thing. And Nathan is like, yeah bro, we're getting caught here We're getting caught here. The windlass. It's been giving us problems since day one. You're good to go Oh god, the windlass. Oh, the windlass is a real issue

Which you know when last is also a spin-off episode. I think at this point of wind I was gonna say, you know what we call windlass? Nepotism. That's a nepotism show. But you know what? I still watch it. It's good. Not as good as the original, but it's a good prequel. You get to really know where everyone came from. They gave a show to wind's children. It's not quite as good, but you know what? You've got to make room for the next generation, am I right? I didn't think I really liked it, but then I went back to regular wind and I was like, okay boomer You know what I mean?

So then Marsha and Brittany are talking and Marsha's like Brittany I want to know more about this charity fashion show you're doing what is for autism, right? And Brittany goes yeah autism speaks Marsha's like wow Does it it's an interesting title. I like that title. Can I help?ha's like, wow, does it? It's an interesting title. I like that title. Can I help? It's like, yes, you too can help autism speak. So then we, so then back on the deck, uh, Sandy,

autism roller skates the spinoff autism sings. Well, awesome. Autism speaks as a, actually a very large charty. It's a very big one. Yeah. They've been doing, they've been doing a lot. They've been on, I think, I feel like they, is that the same one that Jacqueline Larrita was doing? I don't know. I don't know. I've got to look into that. But Joe, Sandy is like, okay, let's get back to that WinLast, my favorite prequel show. What's going on there? And they're like, well, it's giving us a problem. You know, it starts, I'm going to start flaking the chain. So, okay, well done. Thanks very much. So they're all doing all stuff, stuff on the deck, etc. Oh, you might want to tell that chain to get some deodorant. I mean, some conditioner, am I right? Hilarious. Okay. Great. I believe in you, Joe. just kidding, I don't. And so there's a problem that it's

not catching, right? And then we switch to Ian doing pushups because of course, every time something dramatic and terrible happens, Ian is either eating or doing a pushup of some kind or a dip. Yeah, this is, Ian is definitely getting the edit this episode. He does a lot of pushups in this episode, like literally the entire episode, shit is going wrong and there's keep cutting to him doing pushups. So then Ellie goes over to Asia and she's like, Asia, I'm sorry. And she puts up her, she always has this thing where she does like the mime and the glass box thing.

She's like, I'm sorry, I'm in a glass box right now. I have to say something to you right now. This pre situation is getting out of control. She's sleeping on the freaking floor in the boys cabin. And once again, I am stuck in a glass cabinet. Can you please help me out? And she's telling me I'm belittling her. And then she's like, what are you?

Are you? I mean, you're not supposed to mock people for sleeping on the floor last time I checked. I'm not, I'm not that person. I'm not the little person I will not stand for it, that is why I draw the fucking line that is why I'm distraught and she said

well I know how hard it's hard but you both need to get on with it so we can sort it all out after this charter we can sort it all out after this charter, okay? Bree and Ellie just have this annoying rivalry that is circling around Joe. You know when people are emotionally distracted, it's not like you can discipline them out of their emotions. I was like, I feel like Ronnie is going to have something to say about this. Whoa, but you can discipline people out of their emotions. I mean, why else would parents

say, oh yeah, you want to cry? What if I give you something to really cry about? That's how you discipline people out of their emotions and you stop crying so you don't get beat. I mean, Jesus Christ, do I have to raise this whole network? I mean, hello, it's called the UK, all right? It's called stiff upper lip. It's there for a reason, okay? Caroline Stanbury's entire backstory is being disciplined out of emotion. 100% disciplining people out of emotion has worked for centuries. Okay. And that's the problem with the world today. So, I love that Ellie is trying to pretend that she's not mad about Joe and she's making it all about the belittling word, you know, so funny. So then Sandy, we cut to Sandy doing jumping jacks on the bridge and she does jumping jacks. It's almost like she's playing,

she's got a virtual reality headset on and she's playing some kind of game where they're just throwing balls at your face. Or I guess just like me, people were throwing balls at my face. She's like, one, two, three, four, five, five, are you sweating flies away from your face? What are you doing? Yeah. Like her arms are definitely not extending over her head, she's definitely just doing like this weird like windshield wiper thing with her hands and she does the only like six, she's like, one, two, three, four, five, six, oh, moany moany,

that was a lot, that was a lot right now, I gotta get, I gotta get this shit. Yeah, I gotta really, woof, I gotta start exercising. She looked like she was like playing volleyball and wanted someone to hit the ball to her. Okay, over here, over here, over here. Oh no, not again. Okay, they didn't hit it to me. Okay, that's fine.

So then Nathan and Gail are doing their flirt where he's like, tomorrow's drop off day and you know, like there's no drama. I mean, there is some drama, but I'm glad it's not us. And she's like, I didn't think it would be us. I mean, I feel like if we do fight, or you know, we just get out for it. You want a strawberry? No, that hurt my feelings.

All right, I'll have a strawberry. Thank you. The end. Your feelings are validated. So then, so then Ellie is like, I'm sorry. Asia's like, Ellie, are you good to go? She's like, yeah, but by the way, just so you know, Bree has also mentioned that she's been fired from Boots for causing too much drama.

So, ho ho, ho ho, ha ha, dot dot dot, if you know what I'm saying, et cetera, if you know what I'm saying, ha ha, to be continued, if you know what I'm saying, ha? If you looked at her LinkedIn, you would see that it says, always fired for saying people be better than me. Ha ha, if you look at her LinkedIn, you would see that it says, always fired for saying, people be little me. If you look at her LinkedIn, you would see that she has been

recruited for the Globe Theater because she has too much drama. Okay? That's what they like. Because drama, theater, see what I'm saying here? Okay, just think about it. Well, we can't deal with that right now because we're on charter. So then we go to Gail saying she just needs a hug. I just need a hug. It's just so rough. Bloop. Why aren't you calling me back? Oh, God, he won't stop texting me. So Nathan hugs her. And then Brie calls her mom and she's like, we find out a little bit about

Brie. So she's like, standing up for myself is scary. I went to voting school and they just had this wave like making me feel small. We got hierarchy drilled into us. Whoever was above you in terms of age, you would have to wait at a door even if the person was a hundred meters away. Otherwise, you'd be bullied. The fuck? That doesn't, that doesn't check out. I'm still saying that right now. I love Ronnie. You let a, you went in front of a five year old when you are four, you fat, stupid little Coke bottle glasses, slut little does Brie realize that then they turns the other way that if you go

in before someone who's younger than you, then you get bullied also. What Ben, you 45 year old man jumping in front of a six year old to get into the building. I love that we have dueling, uh, boarding school trauma storylines happening on Bravo right now. Honestly, with Bri and Caroline Sanberry, Caroline Sanberry's whole thing is like, you want to talk about a tough childhood. I don't care about growing up in Kenya. I went to a boarding school and people were mean to me. That's really not only had nannies, my nannies wore brown,

hideous creatures, hideous, hideous, brown, brown uniform nannies, my nannies wore brown. Hiddiest creatures. Hiddiest, hideous brown, brown uniform nannies. Which by the way, someone messaged us and said that the brown uniform is like a, is actually a specific brand of nannies called like the, like the Norton nannies or something like that. And they are considered to be the best nannies in the world. Like you go to an academy and like when you graduate, you get to wear the uniform. So they're also really good at finding viruses on your computer, which is handy. They also can fly by umbrella, which I'm like so impressed

by. Yeah. So now Joe is, Asia is trying to get the guests ready for their little excursion thing to the hole in the hole in the wall cave that they're going to. And Joe's like, we need 20 minutes, we need 20 minutes, ouch! Oh, God! I just lost a hand. Hold on. Sorry. Anybody got any tape there? I don't have any bundeds. My grandpapi always said, have a bunded. So, he doesn't have those band-aids to cover up little tiny tattoos.

It's like can't have grand papi C. So they're waiting for to go out and Sandy's like, I don't know what's taking so long. You know, the docs in the water, we gotta be, we gotta be faster. We gotta be faster. So, oh, so here's the thing. We didn't even talk about this. They're the, you know,, you know, the inflatable swim platform things that they put out, they make like a little, I think they're called naughty boys. So for whatever reason, Ian told them to inflate them on like one of the decks.

So in like one of the areas where people are normally lounging, there's one of these big ass things just lying there, the two of them actually, just, and so it looked strange and they're like, should we be so it looked strange and they're like, should we be doing it here? But they're like, well, but Ian said to do it here. And we see a clip of Ian saying

that that's what they should do. So now Sandy comes down to that deck and she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is opposite of moaning moaning. This, you know what this is? This is enam enam. It's the exact opposite of that kind of energy. What? No, no. No, this is enam enam. It's the exact opposite of that kind of energy. No, no.

No, this is just not going to work. Ian, Ian, get down here. Ian's like doing a one-handed push up off the ice machine. He's like, Ian, get over here right now. He's like, cool, just doing some push ups. He's like, Ian, what are we doing with this platform? Why is this platform here? This is a guest area, Ian. This is not where we have platforms. Do you understand me? Do you understand me, Ian?" He's like, well, uh, he's like, well, my plan was to get them off the boat as quick as possible and then just sit tight, but then obviously she didn't like how that looked. I guess I'll just smile and say copy. Now, here's my thing.

Why was he doing that? Was she telling him at an earlier time, like, he can't just have the swim platform dock thing sitting in the water this whole time, but then she wants him to go at a moment's notice. So he's trying to like have them ready so he can just throw them in the water and look like he's been prepared the whole time. Like, what is he doing? Pete Slauson I don't know. But I was just, when I saw it happening, I was like, how could this possibly be the right thing to do? Like we, like we know at this point, this is a guest area. Why are there these giant floating docks just like laying on top of the sofa? I don't know. Nobody ever knew the answer. That's for sure. Grandpappy never answered

me. So, um, now the deck team is setting them up properly and stuff and the taxi arrives and she's like, we gotta move the guests are waiting. Okay. We will never board the tender from the swim platform. Okay. We gotta be faster guys. We gotta be faster. It's chit is chit is charter three. And guess what? No one's going to go faster than the athlete whose name is captain Sandy. One, two, three. Okay, here I come. All the unambiguous peacock. Bravo. So Ian's like, all right, well, the guests can come. And so Aisha's like, oh, I wish everyone,

I wish I could come along with you. I'm really bummed, but I have glass in me thumb right now. And they're like, okay. And they're all just standing around and she's like, Ian, would you like to tell the guests to come on down? He's like, Oh yeah. So whenever you guys are ready, you can come on board. It's like, what is this guy doing? Yeah. Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels. She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef.

But this story didn't end with a happily ever after. When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground and I heard somebody say, call 911. As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they'd look at would be the spouse. We understand that's usually the way they do it. But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels

There are murders in all of the books. that she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After Dan and Nancy early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Sandy is, you know, come on, we got to get quicker at this. Listen, here's the only thing we don't need to get quicker at on this boat. Jumping jacks. Get pretty quick at those. Want to see? One, two, three, four, five, six.

I win awards. I win awards at quick jumping jacks. Watch this. One, two, three. Okay. I was so tiring. Did you even see him? It was faster than the speed of light. If you're wondering why your hair is sitting differently, it's because I caused an instant breeze. I've learned, I've loved wind so much, I've found the amount of way to actually generate my own. I wish I could move so fast that I could catch you some bangs. Okay, that was my polite way of telling you, get some bangs. And listen, that's advice I don't give anybody ever,

but you need them. And he's like, well, I just had a different plan in my head. And then you come and you changed my plan. And she goes, well, you know what your plan was? Not working. Okay. Your plan wasn't working. So those always going before you do anything else. Okay, person with not working plans. Okay. Okay. In life, there are good plans, there are bad plans. Good plans, jumping jacks. Bad plan, walking jacks. See, there's a difference. Okay, the plan matters. So then we go and we see snorkeling and swimming to the cave and we find out about Gail and she talks about being half Asian and how it was hard growing up, you know, and she had a lot of identity issues.

And it wasn't until later in life that she discovered being underwater was the first place that made me feel safe, which is odd because the ocean is terrifying, okay? The ocean could just crush you because it feels like it. You could be swimming and the ocean is like, ah, I don't like them. They sing about biscuits too much. They're dead. And they could just squash you. Those things are just squash you like a bug. I never felt more safe than in a place where I literally couldn't breathe in and

various fishes of different sizes could just eat me. God, I felt so safe. She's like the ocean was the first place. My boyfriend didn't text me five times. Like the only place she doesn't get cell service. So then Ellie is, so now they're all saying that I just literally spit out myself really classy. Please take over Ben. I quit. So now they're all, so they've, they've come to this, this island, Monie Island, and there was like a slit in the rocks and they're like, we're going to swim to that slit. And so they're all swimming.

Ellie's doing it. She's not a very good swimmer, but she's trying. And so we see there's like, we go through the slit and then there's like a little area that you can sit and it looked like there was gonna be more cave, but there wasn't. It was just like, it was just like a little slit and they just were all crammed up in there with the cameraman too, by the way, the camera ends like up there, like up against the wall, trying to film them, getting them all in the shot. And I was like, is this really worth it? I feel like this is a really bad, this is a really bad excursive. And then you see Ellie, we get a struggle of Ellie, which is really

funny. She's like, I do not know how to swim right. So they put flippers on Ellie and she's like, oh, ow, ow, oh God, oh, wet biscuit, wet milk and biscuit. And then she gets to the thing and she's like, oh my God, I did it. I did, I did. And they're like, oh my God, that was amazing. That was so good, Ellie. She's like, I overcame, I overcame this. And I don't know, I think it's supposed to be a heroic story, but I'm like you work on a boat It was weird when she when she finally got into the cave. I was just like, oh my god I am I have arrived here and also Bree she's a lot of drama. She fired everywhere Can't keep a job just saying just saying everyone look at look how Ellie made it through that little hole in the cave You're smaller than I thought do not be little me old bitch

Like we're the guessing I am your still your supervisor So back on the boat Ian is complaining to his crew about how Sandy's such a pain in his ass And he's like if I'd been doing it the right way I probably would have been told to do a different way way. And that's just how it goes. I'm a right boys. And Nathan's like, you know, you just need to smile and wave basically what we do with you all the time. And he's like, I'll invite boys. Nice, nice, nice. Yeah, exactly. And then downstairs in the kitchen, Asia is talking to John, oh, asking how he's feeling and everything. And then she just lets out this big fart. She goes, Ooh, that was dangerous.

And he goes, Hmm, you farted. I also did a stinky one just like two seconds ago, like eggy. Oddly enough it came out cold. It was a deconstructed fart. Egg farts are cold. So they get back to the boat and Joe's like, how was the how was the excursion? Did the guests enjoy it? And then he goes, it was nice. I overcame something I was uncomfortable with. Okay He's like, the water?

Ellie is ineptitude. I mean, Breeze ineptitude. I was very uncomfortable with that. She goes, yeah, I was like going to push through, but by the way, I hope you don't believe that whole thing about me being a bad person and belittling people, by the way. It's like right back into it. She's like, I'm a hero. I swim with flippers.

Also, I'm not a bad person. Please don't believe. Do bad people swim with flippers? Well, no. You know, one thing I saw underwater, all the fish sleeping in their own beds. I don't believe it. The bad people swim with flippers. Well, no, you know I think I saw underwater all the fish sleeping in their own beds. I don't know just saying so Asia is Poles Bria side and She's like I just wanted to talk to you because he mentioned you're fighting and we can't do that on charter You know, you've got to sort your shit, but she mentioned that you slept in the boys cabin last night why are you doing

it why? um because it was fun and like I did it because I was supposed to be sleeping in the galley because I you know I just needed my own space and then like just before I fell asleep Joe was like well come sleep on my floor I've got an extra mattress and I literally went to bed laughing like, let's do it again. I was like, what? What is this story? And then, oh no, no, this is not it. So Aisha's like, are you trying to prove a point to Ellie?

And she's like, no, no, I'm just trying to say it like something to her, but like she doesn't want to hear it. So then we go back to Ellie and she's like, well, how would you feel, by the way, Joe, how would you feel if Nathan was sleeping in someone else's cabin? I would like, Oh, Joe, I don't feel safe. How would you feel? He's like, Oh God, I would hate that. Yes, exactly. No, I would hate having to keep talking about the situation. It's been about 30 minutes. Can we think about Nathan being somewhere else and someone being in my room, it's so hard to feel comfortable finger banging myself to sleep. I really miss that guy. So Asha, back to Asha, she's like, oh, I reckon squash it since we're on charter.

And you know, I can't have you sleeping in the boys' cabin because we're on a trip and you'll be affecting their sleep, their routine. it's not fair to them. Do you know how long it takes to grim those eyebrows? That man needs some sleep. From day one, I was very open, telling her that I find you attractive, Joe, and I want to pursue things with you. He's like, oh, well, you could have told me though.

She's like, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that. It's just, you know what? She's just very little disrespectful. He's of course loving this. He's like, well, they're button heads, but I'm the cherry on top. I'm like the grand papi on top of the Joe Sunday. I made it clear to Brie I don't want nothing serious,

but I feel bad. Do I want LA? Well, who wouldn't want to go there? Come on. Come on, man. So, he's like, wow, people are already fighting over me on the third charter. You guys could have waited. And so she just kind of laughs. And then, by the way, you're fighting over Joe. Like Joe's cute and everything, but was he fightable? Like, is he worth fighting over? I feel like he's not

worth fighting over. Yeah. Exactly. Like, but he is definitely cute. And so, I mean, it's like when there's one piece of pizza left, you know, I guess he's the only piece of pizza left. Yeah. It's like, do you want that? No, I'm fine. What about you? No, I'm fine too. Do you want to split? No, no, no. You have it. You have it. Okay. I'm going to have it. Well, I hope you enjoyed the last piece of pizza. Can you believe it? I hope you liked it. I'm her supervisor as she took my piece of pizza.

That is pretty accurate to what it is. Yeah. So then we go up to this is where Trishel goes. So Ali is the interior, right? And he's just like, yes, I hope she did. OK. And Trishel's like, yeah, I mean, she struggled, I think, a little, but she was fine. She was a trooper. I was proud of her. I mean, I did call the manager of Monee Island to say, I'm sorry, but there's someone who's

not swimming well outside, but I think it was okay. So Gail is like, Santa, did you guys all model together? And Trishel's like, oh, I'm not a model. I am a fashionista though, so thank you. Thank you. I've got a lot of great outfits coming up below to this charter. You're like, stop it, you're lying about not being a model.

No, it's actually the truth. No, stop it. No, it's actually the truth. This is the part Trishel where you're supposed to say to Gail, I thought you were a model because Gail's the only one here who looks like a genuine model. Yeah, a hundred percent. So then Asia's like, like, Oh, did you have a nice time?

I'm just going to go down and just make sure everything just please make sure everything's pulled for dinner, like cutlery and plates and napkins and everything, just set the table. Surely a simple task that any stew can do and this won't come back to become a drama later on! Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr This isn't all my polo This was in Gail's drawer, but it's Elise It's not that fucking hard to look at people's initials and put them in the right place is it is it all right? And Bree's like but where what does it say your initial? Where's it? That's where There's not many places on a polo shirt to hide things just look around till you find it and she tells us But people haven't been labeling this shirts properly places on a polo shirt to hide things. Just look around till you find it. And she tells us,

but people haven't been labeling the shirts properly. And do I look at for labels? Of course, but it's very, very difficult. Scary stuff. Okay. Everyone. Okay. Let's, can we see how the, the wave? Okay. All right. I just want wanna point something out to the deck crew. See how the wave runner is in their way? Clip the wave runners on a line

and move those out of the way. Is this crew mess clean? Oh, God, here, you know what's a good way to clean a crew mess? You lie on a table and you do horizontal jumping jacks. Ah, ah, one, two, three, four, five, six. Look, it's clean. But put sponges on your hands too.

So Gail is talking about how she's learned so much and she's gotten so much confidence here and she always wants to be an equal. And she was trying so hard on her last boat that she was carrying a big heavy block of metal, then it slipped out of her hands and crushed her ankle and took all the skin off of her ankle. And she had to get 16 stitches and a skin graft. And she's like, and it was a rough time because I couldn't prove myself to the men. So I just don't want to be good. I want to surpass expectations. El! Sora just dropped an anvil on my ankle. It's like, why were you carrying an anvil? I just want to suppress expectations. So I think we found the true love match, but these people haven't seen the show edited

together, but I feel like the real love match here would be Joe and Gail because they are accident prone and bleeding a lot. And so there's a love match right there. You guys are welcome. If you're listening to this right now, you guys, you two crazy kids, give each other a text. So Gail's backstory this episode is that she was insecure about being half Asian and she loves being, she feels safest under the water and once dropped a heavy block of metal on her foot. Yeah. She's like, that's why I like it underwater because things are lighter there.

So Gail is saying, so Nathan's like, oh, you take initiative, don't you? What are you laughing at? What's so funny that can't? She's like, your accent is lovely. He's like, and so Nathan is broken up by Ian. He's like, Nathan, great job on the crew mess. Just when you wipe the tables, just make sure you, great job on the crew mess. Just when you

wipe the tables, just make sure you get the cloth on the microfiber because you can still see all the wet marks the way you did it. Nathan's like, got it. Microfiber the tops. Microfiber the top. Who microfibers a table in the mess hall? That is stupid. That's not even real advice. Well, I mean, I don't, I mean, shouldn't it just be that the tables, they should just have microfibers there at all times? So when it comes to the table, they just, it's always going to be microfibered. Now that I've said that, I guess that microfibers do have, I guess those are made out of fiberglass sometimes. No, it's not micro, it's not a fiberglass. It's just like,

the way it's designed is that there's just way more, it has a lot more ply that would meet the eye. And so what happens is when you were like a little more ply than meets the eye. So when you wipe your surface, you can absorb a lot more moisture and it cleans up a lot better. But like, um, it's like, it up a lot better. But like, um, it's like, it's one of those things where like, if Ian had not been a micromanager, it'd be like, he was like, Hey bro, when you clean the table, use a microfiber. They'd be like, okay, cool.

But because he's such a micromanager, it's like, fuck you. I'm going to clean it with a paper towel. He's the boy that cried microfiber. If you will. I gotta make sure now we't forget about microfibers. You never know what you're gonna get here. You never- They're synthetic fibers that are less than 10 micrometers in diameter and are finer than a Desitex or a Denier thread.

I personally have some microfibers and I use them on my counters myself. I use them on my screens, which is where you're supposed to use microfibers. I didn't know people use them on counters. Yeah, there's a whole, you know, Amazon Prime Day is next week and maybe there'll be some sticky fingers all over them. And I will say that microfibers leave little microfibers everywhere.

They make me all so crazy. So I don't know. I think microfibers are overrated. There I said it. Imagine if you were just using fiberglass all this time. You're like, cause you know, sometimes it's made of fiberglass. Imagine using fiberglass on your. No, I meant the tables. The tables are made of fiberglass.

Not the, Oh, the same. I was saying, cause I said, nobody uses my, nobody uses microfibers on tables, but then I thought, Oh, well maybe they're fiberglass. Do they get scratched up from regular? whatever? I don't know. I was trying to come up with, I was trying to justify why you would use microfibers because it felt wrong. Once I said it, I was like, Ooh, I'm going to get dinged for that. Because of course some people do use microfibers on tables because of course they're made out of some special boat thing. And then what if I just caused, you know, now everybody's going to be mad at me or everyone's going to hate me. No one's going to want to listen to this show if I don't even know where you use

microfibers. I actually need some new microfibers. I'm going to wrap it up. We're wrapping up the microfiber wrap it up. Microfibers are wrapping up. They're wrapped. Okay. They are wrapped. So now it's, uh, so dinner time and they're changing for dinner and Bri is pulling decorations for dinner. And Aisha is, you know, she's now come up from her break and she's checking in on everything. And she realizes that the table has not been set. John, John, John, what have you been doing?

And Bri is like, well, we've been pulling plates and then pushing plates and then pulling plates and then pushing plates. And I pushed a plate and then it bullied me. And Aisha's like, wait a minute, why would plates pulled a long time ago? You know, it's very difficult with Ellie because I don't know if she's distracted, but I mean, she's not doing what I ask her to do your job.

Do your job. So Aisha goes up to Ellie and she's not doing what I ask her to do your job. Do your job. So Aisha goes up to Ellie and she's like, How come the plates and napkins and colary, nothing's been fooled? So Ellie's like, Because I was serving guests the whole time. Like in that way, like, don't even try to question me on this, Aisha. Yeah. But can you do it between serving them?

She goes, and then I was cleaning up the bar and it just didn't happen yet. OK, well, we need that to be completely done in an hour, so I'll get the plates and denote to the chef. That's Asia's way of being like, fine, I will do what you didn't do and I will remember this. So, Ellie's like, well, time has definitely gotten the best of me, but at the same time, Brie has literally been getting away with a murder and I'm out here getting put on the cross. I'm put on the cross. For a small mistake, it's bullshit. I don't know what's going on anymore. It's out of control. Seriously over.

So then Jono, he's making a classic Hollywood dinner. He's going to make calamari fritos and some sea bass and he's like, oh, calamari fritos and some sea bass. And he's like, oh, calamari fritos fresh out of the sea, baby. She's crunchy. She's juicy. She's getting my pussy popping. And sea bass. I just want everything to be perfect.

I want to raise that one little baby steak I made the other night. I'm like, it's not just the steak. It's also the cake and everything with Gigi Fernandez. How is Hollywood fried calamari? I don't understand that. It's like, it's like biggest night all over again with Kiko. So everyone's setting up, guys are getting ready for dinner. Gail talks about Ellie and he's like, well, I wanted to get her side of the story, like

why the girl's sleeping in my cabin and what's going on, you know? And Ellie was saying that she basically broke this little code. Bree broke a code with Ellie. It's called a girl code. And now she's playing the victim about it. But that's between the two of them. You know, it's not professional. It's very immature. Love this girl chat. Who do you think is wrong? Do you ever want to have sex with me? That's the important part of the story. They both want to have sex with me. Still got it. Still got it.

Now, who do I crack on with? And Gale's like, well, whoever you're going to bang is either going to be the person you're going to continue to bang or it's going to cause a lot of issues. Ow! Sorry, I just dropped a cement cylinder on my foot again. God, I have to stop trying to impress you people. So now, Ian is talking about performing. He's telling Joe he needs to perform Happy Birthday on the piano, because it's the big show tonight. And so Joe gives us a monologue. He's like, being an entertainer, it's always come from me, mom. I locked act in and she'll give me a scene

or whatever, and I would act. It's like, can we stop acting like you're going to come in here and play like the entertainer? You're literally hamming your way through happy birthday with two fingers. I don't need a monologue from you about this right now. Okay. My left foot. Yeah. After all this talk. Ow, my left foot was the one I heard. Can we not talk about that right now? Okay. Sophie's choice. So, meanwhile, Asia is really so proud of what's happening with Jono, because he's doing such a better job this time. And she's like, I would love nothing more than him to run through the ribbon at the finish line with a gold medal around his neck. And he's like, girl, that's too much running.

I'm not going to do that. No way. Yeah, I would really love to finish and I hope he can. But unfortunately, I know that Kept in Sydney is already hired Malia to take his place secretly. We're just waiting for her to arrive. Because doesn't this feel like one of those seasons where Captain Sandy has an ace up her sleeve or she's just waiting? She's like, okay, got one of those seasons where Captain Sandy has an ace up her sleeve, where she's just waiting? She's like, okay, got one of my favorites loaded in the cannon. Can't wait to put him in here after John does something stupid.

It's either be Malia or Colin. Oh, wow, I can't believe I'm back in. I wonder if I, hey mom, can you make lasagna for the crew? I'm on chef duty. No problem, Wally. You're doing great, Wally. You're doing great, Wally. So then Ellie is still so mad about Bree. She's like, with Bree, she's trying to make

me look like a bad person into the community I live with, but none of my concerns have been addressed. She's slandering me in the community. It's so funny. She's running for office. So, Jono's presentation is lovely. He really killed it with that Friday Calamari, apparently. Sandy's impressed. And then Marsh is like, oh, wow, have you ever seen Trishel's Playboy pictures? Amazing. And Trishel's like, the best one was when I was bending over and calling the manager. Iconic. Now after all the talk about Joe being love entertaining and they're like, Oh, Joe's going to get on piano.

Now it's time for the happy birthday moment. And he's on the piano. He's like, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. It's like fifth grade piano recital happening over there. It's not great. And also everybody does that thing. Cause everybody hates singing happy birthday. It's so embarrassing and you have to sing it badly because you can't be like, happy birthday because you know, you look like an asshole or whatever.

There's just no right way to sing happy birthday. And then whenever someone takes over and they're like, I'm going to play happy birthday, everybody just kind of gives it to that person. Like they're doing it. So I'm literally not going to do anything. And then it just ruins the whole experience. Because some people are like, happy birthday. What are you, come on, you know, happy birthday. You've sung it before. Why are 20 of you acting like you've never heard this song before? And then you've got poor little Daniel Day Lewis over there just knocking it out of the park all by himself.

Yeah. Um, uh, and this was a particularly bad version of happy birthday. Like we've seen a lot of bad, happy birthdays. This one was just, I don't know what was going on with it. I don't know if they were trying to be sexy or something, but they were like slow and low and And they're like, happy birds. What is going on with this crew right now? So then, um, we go to the morning cause you know, I mean, why do we need to talk about it more?

So we go to the next morning and, um, Bre wakes up and say, it felt really good to be sleeping in my own bed, but people sleep in other people's cabins all the time for different reasons. And it's not like I was sleeping in the bed, I was sleeping on the floor. And Asha's like, Bree, where did you sleep last night? She's like, I slept in my own bed. She's like, So then everyone's waking up and everything and they're doing the cleaning and Sandy's like, she's like, okay, we're going to go in his last day of charter, start hauling immediately, start hauling immediately. And Nathan's like, copy, copy, copy. I'm just having some trouble with

the windlass because he's trying to make this one last go. And every time he's doing it, it sounds like pet boys. So things are like not working with the windlass. Yeah. And I said before, that's when it wasn't catching, but this is where it's not catching. Dun, dun, dun. There's no power on the windlass. What are we doing? It's the port side. It's just not the port side. It's the starboard side. And she's like, is it because of my favorite show or is it just not connecting? And he's like, ah, family ties. No wind. Ah, oh, no, it's not connecting. And it's not turning the windlass off. Oh, windlass, windlass, what's happening? I don't know. I don't know. Hold on. Let me do a few jump attacks. Okay, it's a four. God, that hurt.

Jesus Christ. Did it catch yet? Did it catch? And then like, well, since the windlass isn't working, we're going to get like the tender and we'll bring the guests to shore with the tender. So at this point, because Ian's asleep, you've got Luca, you've got Yvonne, you've got Piers, all these people we've never seen before. They're like popping up onto the deck and the tender is dead. The batter is dead because Ian was in it last night and forgot to turn it off. So Ian, who has been asleep through all this and has caused one of the major problems. So now the boat is not the boat is can't move the tender can't move. And they're what Sandy has woken up Ian. She's mad at Ian. Everything's going to shit.

And they're the one thing that they're going to do is they're going to tie a line from one windlass to another one last. And they're going to use that one to do that something with that one. But then the line snaps and the thing falls and it's looking like they're going to be leaving an anchor at the bottom of the sea. Don Don Don. Um, and then we just hear, ow, oh my God, Gail, how did that hit you? I just needed to feel comfortable. So I was in the water when you let go of the anchor. Terrible timing, Gail. Get up here, Gail. Crazy little nugget.

Okay, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. That was some below deck. Thanks for being with us on Crappins on Demand and watching this, some of you. And we will talk to you next time. Okay? Love you guys. Bye.

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