Watch What Crappens - #2489 Below Deck Med (S09E07): Where There’s Smoke, There’s Ire

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

A forest fire threatens to upend a new charter on Below Deck Mediterranean while Bri continues to struggle with the esoteric art of sorting laundry. To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hello. Good to see you. Good to hear from you.

Um, a few things, exciting things to talk about right off the top. We just recorded Jeff Lewis's show on Sirius XM. So, uh, go listen to that. If you missed it this morning, we had a lot of fun. Thanks Jeff for having us back. It was a blast. Second of all, we've also just recorded our Tuesday update on Love Island USA. So if you are a Love Island USA, you know, obsessive like we are, then go check that out on our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch our crap ins. And also later today, we are going to be recording a very special bonus episode because it is Amazon Prime Day. And so we're going to do our annual Amazon Prime Day hunt for deals, live shopping extravaganza, who knows what sort of chachki and

home kitchen appliance that we're going to wind up with. But that's also going to be on our Patreon. So a lot of fun things are happening there. And of course, there's always crap on demand where you can just watch us. And I think the very last thing to mention is that as we are here talking below deck med, if you want to hear our below deck med back catalog episodes, go to our website, watch a crappens.com and click on the tab that says back catalog. And we have all of our coverage of all the below deck med seasons we ever covered that are right there for you to access nice and easy. So that's all the excitement and Now it's time to talk about a wild episode That featured forest fires

Trichelle and most importantly breeze continued confusion about how to do laundry You know honestly The fact that she just still can't figure it out, I think is so cute. Why does she not bother me? I see that she's really bothering a lot of people. She really doesn't bother me.

I just love, I love kind of a vacant person at a laundry, at the helm of laundry. I don't know what it is. That's like literally the worst person to have at the helm of laundry. I mean, know what it is. That's like literally the worst person to have at the helm of laundry. I mean, listen, we've seen laundry mishaps. I'll never forget sometime last year, I think it was, when someone used a steamer and melted something, like a dress, and there was that one woman

who was like, she is not touching my cult gaia. But, you know, accidents happen, mistakes happen, but this is like charter three now.'s been many days and it's like, if a shirt says it belongs to captain Sandy, you put it in the captain Sandy pile and you bring it to captain Sandy. You don't send it to like Joe. It's the wrong person. Right. Like not even close. Brie, not even close, Bree. Not even close, Bree. Right area.

So we open with anchor drama because the line is snapping that there's a thing that can't hold the anchor and guess what? Guess what? Guess what? My favorite show less is not working, The Windless. Okay, so we need to get this figured out because Ian left the batteries off of the, the, the other things. We can't turn on that little boat and escape. Okay. There will, Kathy Bates will not be escaping the Titanic today. Okay. Because the windless has, I mean, the, uh, the Tinder has not been charged.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. So, uh, you know, we often talk about docking drama and anchor drama, but this was legit anchor drama. Like sometimes anchor drama is just like, Hey, I set up an anchor sanctuary and my TV show wind is coming in. And if we don't pull up those anchors, then the sanctuary is going to be ruined and we're all going to sink and die.

Oh, got the anchor and it's fine. But this case it was like anchor. I love you, but we're gonna have to leave you behind. We'll tell your children you tried your best. It's serious anchor situation going on here. Yeah, there was a time, you know, because we always make those jokes like, and it's fine. It's fine. And after we did one of those episodes, someone wrote in so upset, and we're like, I cannot ever listen to this show again

because of the way you treated the docking. How could you? People could die. It's one of the most dangerous things. It was like some drama queen going on and on about how we don't respect the dead. All those that have died during docking drama or whatever. And I always think about this and I always, and when stuff like this happens, don't respect the dead, all those that have died during docking drama or whatever. And

I always think about this and I always, and when stuff like this happens, I'm like, well, that person is now justified because it was very, very serious. So I'd like to congratulate that drama queen out there for finally having something to be outraged about during the docking drama moment. You're welcome. The Bravo gods have bestowed this upon you. I hope you enjoy it. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, anyway, the, they, they tried to pull up the anchor by using a rope, but the rope snapped. And, uh, so now they're, Oh God, you know, those ropes, ropes snapping,

that's like, uh, when they tried to tie down Norma and bring out a birthday cake. She's just going to get right out of those ropes. Sorry. I had to think about that for a second. How'd you get so much going on with the windlass and everything, you know, got away from me. Just like the anchor did. God damn it. God, why am I criticizing myself? But not that birthday cake from Norma.

It's just so funny because it's like finally a woman, it takes a woman to do a man's job, you know, it's like the captain's the head of here, but she's still doing like such a guy's way of fixing it because I feel like guys are like, oh, hey, so you know how the anchor thing is not working? Did you try turning it? And guys are like, Oh, hey, so you know how the the anchor thing is not working? Did you try turning it? Like, yes. Oh, okay. So did you try hitting it? You should punch it. Maybe that'll work. Like, yes, we punched it already. Okay, you know

what? Get a rope and tie it to a rope and then tie it to another rope. And then you know what? The force comes to worse. Just tie it to Norma. She'll sink like a stone. You know what? You know, I've never had to leave an anchor because a windlass didn't work. I mean, we tried to tie a line on it to haul it in, but that didn't work. Option two is we treat our anchor like Norma on a date,

just left behind. Just dump it. Listen, this anchor is toxic, okay? Pretend you're a widowed man in his 50s taking one look at Norma's crooked lipstick. Just tell yourself, I'm better than this. I'm leaving this in the ocean. We're gonna have to leave it behind.

We're gonna have to Norma it, okay? But we'll have someone come and retrieve it. Sort of like the Uber have to Norma it. Okay. But we'll have someone come and retrieve it sort of like the Uber driver for Norma. Um, so they do, they drop it. And she's like, I've never had to leave an anchor because of a windless, a windless, not working, you know, but, uh, we had to, and it's a very expensive piece of equipment. That's 65 grand. Okay.

But we're going to just hope that it's still, it's still here when we return. Okay. Cause guess what's here right now? Weather. Okay. Guess what's not here right now? Wind. Wind is in the air. $65,000 for an anchor. That's surprising. I guess it makes sense. It's probably has to be custom shaped to fit into that pocket and everything. But I mean, I can't believe that hunk of metal is like the same as like, you know, like a nice, like a mid-tier SUV. Like that's a little wild.

No one understands like what inflation has done. And I just like, we're asking about so many things in all of these political debates. I need people to start putting it in Bravo terms for me. Like, you know, who am I gonna be able to vote for out of the two of you that is going to bring down the cost of anchors? Because it's really fucking with Captain Sandy right now.

I know, the irony that an anchor suffers from inflation. Think about it, think about it, think about the word play everyone. So Sandy goes to the engineers and she's like, okay, so the anchor shaft isn't working. Neither is Norma's Tinder. Let's be honest. Got a lot of things around this boat. You know what's a coincidence? Norma hasn't found a shaft that's working for decades. And trying to explain to her, Norma, hey, hi, you're the problem. It's you. So just like, like I always say,

Norma has to do with her boobs. We're going to put a buoy on it. Then we'll get some divers and we'll come back. You just got to lift them up sometimes, you know? She just likes to let them hang free. I mean, you know what's called support. Make them look round and round and supple, you know? You know what we're going to do? We're going to have that transported back to the marina and then we're going to install it. You know why? Because we're going to need what Bravo needed

this season. I finally convinced him to get rid of Banana Hannah. Okay. We need our anchor. We need something to weigh this boat down to make sure it doesn't move. And I feel like there's a normal joke in there somewhere, but I've really done so many so quickly that I'm kind of running dry here. Sort of like a real life. Have I already used the widower in the joke? That was a good one. Okay, all right, we'll just move on.

So the guests are like, oh my God, we're gonna be so late. And Marcia Napair is like, Trichelle, you got some way to be? I'm a model agency. And Trichelle's like, oh my God, guys, we love to host people at our Paris house. And we're totally gonna be late to fly to Paris, to our Paris house.

So it's really rough. Does anybody know how we can be on time to Paris to get to our Paris house? It's like, Trichelle has a Paris house. I know that's fuck out of here. What kind of world is this? Okay. And while we w while, while we've got the presidents at the election at the debate, how come Trichelle gets to be rich and I don't get to be rich.

Explain that to me if you want my vote. Yeah, well, she is, she is very pressed right now because she's going to be hosting an event for several max and East is, and she needs to be there. Which by the way, I have to say, that's, that is the silver lining on all of this is that this anchor, clearly a Traders fan, um, is ruining and Trichelle's gathering that she's having at her house cause she's going to miss her flight. I was like, thank you anchor. Thank you for inconveniencing Trichelle.

I'm surprised Trichelle did not have like a full on meltdown and called the manager of the anchor. No kidding, right? I know I was waiting, but she didn't really deliver. So I was like, well, good for Trishel for not playing into stereotypes. But then I was like, God damn it, Trishel, do something. It's like you literally can't win with me. You know what I mean?

So I felt bad for it. And then I remembered it's Trishel. So then Sandy's radioing, oh, guys, guys, guys, Larry, Larry and his cousin Larry, just let me know the Tinder's engine isn't turning on correctly. So guess what guys, it's none of your faults, okay? Except probably Ian. Ian, I'm going to blame your forehead for this, okay? Tell it no offense.

But now guess what? It's too windy to transport the guests back because guess what? The best show on television is shooting right now with us. It's called Wind. Everybody watch the drama outside your windows. Whoa! The swings. Whee-hoo, whee-hoo, whee-hoo.

So if I hear this correctly, the tender was actually broken. It wasn't just that this battery was dead. It was actually also, it was failing. Is that what it is? And did she basically exonerate Ian in this moment? She exonerated Ian, but I think she's being too nice because the Tinder was working yesterday before he left the battery on. So I think he burnt the battery out that burnt the internet out.

I mean, it's only logic. Don't let Ian get off with, don't let Ian get off scot-free. He doesn't deserve it. I'll say one thing that Ian is not doing this episode is getting off, but we'll get to that. So now we go, Asher's like, okay, Joe, we've got to get back to the dock so they can get off. He's like, oh, I know, the wind last.

It's like pins broken inside. So it's just tubes start not spinning. She's like, ooh, that sounds like a long fix. See, it's fucked. So then Asher is like, Oh my God, I've got gifts that are going to miss flights and I bet you it's not a call to me. I think I've got to distract them and keep them entertained. So one by one, I'll have them stick a finger up my bum and see if they can feel any poo. Okay everybody, end of the bridge, end of the bridge, end of the bridge, end of the bridge, end of the bridge. See if they can feel any pee. OK, everybody.

Ian to the bridge. Ian to the bridge. Ian to the bridge. Ian to the bridge. Ian to the bridge. Wiki, wiki, wiki, wiki, wiki. It's my new single. OK, so Ian, thanks for coming up.

We're going to leave the anchor. OK? Now, find the largest fender. Let's put reflective tape on it. And we need to get started on that. And by the way, by fender, I mean, just grab Norma, tie her up, put some reflective tape on her and just throw her in the water there, okay? Hopefully, you know, whoever can rescue her

will be single and have a penis that works, okay? I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna bet anything on that, but let's give it a go. It's gonna be a real two-for-one special here. This way we won't lose our anchor and also Norma can see what it's like to actually be wanted. Finally, so Norma can see what it's like to actually be wanted.

Finally, Norma is going to be in a position where men will be coming towards her on purpose. Men will want to take her hand, put her in a boat. So, um, Sandy's explaining, um, the, Sandy's explaining the concept of reflective tape. So, Hey, okay, America, here's what's gonna happen. We're putting reflective tape around the buoy, and that way you can see the buoy. So if you've seen the movie Jaws, okay, which is not about Norma, no, but it's about a shark,

they did the same thing, so they could see what the shark was. So America, reflective tape, light reflects off it, and you can see things. Okay, you're welcome. By the way, if you are looking for the movie about Norma, that's called Jowls. And it's mostly taken from the rain camp that I hadn't installed in her cubicle. Jowls. I swear I can't open a jar of Hellman's without hearing that theme song. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Holy moly, you don't need to be so close to the FaceTime camera. Okay, sorry. The movie still gives me chills. Okay. So scary. Okay, guess. I have a fun joke to make. The movie still gives me chills. Okay. So scary. Okay. Guess I have a fun joke to make. We're not sinking. There's the news.

Okay. And if we were, none of you are Cathy Bates enough to get off this boat. Cause the Tinder doesn't work. We technically can't blame Ian anymore, but Hey, Ian, could you come down here? Okay. Everybody boo Ian now do it. Good job, Trishel. Good job.

Trishel's like, so we're not legitimately going to make our flight, is that what we're saying here? Everyone's like, I feel like it's just like extending our vacation a little bit. And so Aisha's like, oh wow, well yeah, well we've had a problem with one of our anchors and that's why we've not left yet.

So we're quite behind schedule, so we're just gonna start taking things off the table. I don't know why I felt like it was important to tell everyone that Aisha was gonna take things off the table, but there you go everyone. So um... Well I'm glad that everyone's not fighting right now, but ever since Brie hooked up with Joe, Ellie and Brie are letting this pity drama infiltrate the interior. It's all he said she said, but after a charter I'm gonna have to broker a truce. I don't really even

care who said what anymore, we need to broker a truce. A natural sharp junks out of the water and eats the buoy. So now it's an hour and 13 minutes delayed. So they're really getting talked right now. And Ellie and Brie are, you know, still they're bristling with each other and Sandy's like, oh man, I need to get these guests back. Not because they've got flights, just I really can't stand Rochelle even even me I mean, I'm pretty chill, but God she's the worst, huh?

Get her out of here. Okay time is of the essence right now because guess what's really gone down hill wind Let me tell you read the Nielsen's. You know what I mean? I mean, we're at 33 knots forecast is up to 60 knots That is so much wind. it's a wind marathon. Okay, I guess there's no housewives to repeat. We're just gonna watch wind all day long on Bravo every single day, okay? You know, Rodney, I was reading in a variety that Bravo just greenlit a new spin-off of wind

called Smoke, it should be coming out pretty soon. I don't know, we'll get to it. I'm excited to see how that goes. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. My name is Georgia King and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondry Plus, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink and listen to, will all be up to my very special guests.

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Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Georgia, do you know what joy sounds like? I think I'm hearing it right now. I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast.

It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria, it's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.

Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery

and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Ian is radioing. He's like, oh, got the tender on boy, got the tender on boy.

She goes, okay, ETA back to the docks, it's two hours, appreciate ya, appreciate ya. So now they're one hour and 45 minutes. Good delayed. Dun, dun, dun. So Gail has just woken up and so she missed all of this. And so she just gets the update from Ian that the windlass stopped working. And now say, okay, all right.

Oh, okay, Sandy, Sandy, grease. Sandy, Sandy, grease. Oh, not that kind of Sandy. That's funny now that I think about that. Oh, look at me, I'm Sandy. Well, not really Sandy D. I'm kind of Sandy. That's funny now that I think about that. Oh, look at me. I'm Sandy Well, not really Sandy D. What I'm more like saying I'm just handy captain Anyway, this is Captain Sandy D and with motor yacht mustique and we had to leave our anchor at the last anchorage No that I'm not saying Norma. It's a real anchor this time. Anyway, we need hydraulic technicians at the dock as soon as

No, no, no, no, no, not for the anchor, not for the anchor. Just because we've taped Norma up as a buoy and we're going to need someone to lift her out of the water. Okay, I don't think you have the men to do it. Please bring hydraulics. She's changing her bra. We're going to need a full team of hydraulic technicians, please. No, we don't need back levah.

Okay, we'll take baklava, sure. Please, we're gonna also need a retrieval team to go get Norma's heart out of the water that was left there after the only rescuer tried to cut the line and leave her in the middle of the ocean. Really hurt her feelings. No, I mean, you can bring the plates if you want, but you're not gonna be able to break them

on the waves, unfortunately. No, you should just break them before you leave. Okay, great,, you can bring the plates if you want, but you're not gonna be able to break them on the waves, unfortunately. No, you should just break them before you leave. Okay, great, see you soon. So then Bree and Joe have a moment where they're like kind of flirting because Joe's like giving her come fuck me eyes. And then he's like, why is she into me? I just don't get it, you know?

And he's like, we're gonna have another night tonight, out tonight, and they kind of dance around and then she sucks his finger. And he's like, oh, you're a dirty girl, a dirty, dirty girl. And then she just looks straight into the camera to us and goes, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tool. Yeah, she used to actually have a different version of that, which was you can't put the folded shirt back in the proper closet. But which was you can't put the folded shirt back in the proper closet, but. I literally feel like Brie has actually tried

to put toothpaste back in the tube. I feel like that was coming from experience. So she's like, guess what I just realized? You can't put toothpaste back in the tube. I feel like you're belittling me as I try to put the toothpaste back into the tube. So then Ian meanwhile is horny for Ellie. And so he's like, he was trying to hit on her and he's like,

well I see Ellie and then I'm like, oh wait, you're doing a job? I've been playing the long game. I think she's starting to share some interest. If anyone's going to make moves, could be pretty soon. And you see his like, like they show like a flashback of one of his moves. And he's like, so he has a garbage bag. Great. Yeah, it's going really well. You have that display of his moves was pretty funny. And then a producer asked Ellie, so does he have a shot at all with you? And she's like, No, no. I've even blocked his IP address from my only fans. So

and Jonah, we get a monologue from him and he's like, I almost packed my suitcase, you know, after the second shitty charter. So he's like, I put all my gabenji back in my closet, honey, you know, because I'm not a stranger to resilience. The first year in architecture school, I had a professor that would like someone's matalan five because they thought it was so shit. I'm like, this is nice. Your stories about persevering in architecture school are great.

But the more you talk about architecture school, the less confident I am in you as a chef, okay? Because architecture school is where you go to make houses, not where to learn how to make dinner. I know, but he's also talking about persevering so much, but every story is about how he quit architecture school. I know. That's how he didn't become an architect. It made me stronger.

That's why I'm a cook. I'm a cook. I'm like, wait, what? Yeah. He said criticism made him improve. Um, so, you know, he's strong now, you know, he eats eggs now. So I feel like, you know, he could basically, he could basically build a new opera house is where we're at.

Yeah. I mean, he's like, he's almost at that place where he's going to not put cardamom in Mexican rice. It's great. Okay. So, um, now the ground lines were clear of ground lines, sports quarter, captain, girl, do you want to get another fender on now? Get a fender. And you know, there is windy, you know, and it's got, we got to do some docking and some wind, which is going to be crazy. So wait for it here We go lines lines lines lines wind wind wind where's about where's about? What's taking so long Put down the cake put down the cake. Well, whoa, I have to stop this recap to announce I've got a praying mantis in my room.

Get out. Really? Oh yeah. That. We think it's a picture. We're so lucky. Her, I'm so sure. Her.

I'm gonna get it. I'm assuming it's a lady praying mantis cause I don't know. Is it big and green? It's green, it's not that huge. There was another one on the door frame the other day and I stopped and talked to it a little bit and it just kept tilting its head at me. It was so cute. And then when I went back to the door later, I was like,

I wonder if the praying mantis is waiting for me. And it wasn't. And then I was like, you're, you're losing your mind. You're losing it. The praying mantis is like, yeah, can you show it? No, probably can't, you'll ruin the whole setup, huh? Yeah. And mantises are pretty true around humans, I find.

I miss my praying mantis. I used to have one named Xena. You did? Oh my God, I don't remember Xena my dog. Xena would hang out in Gale. Speaking of Gale. Anyway, so we have, so, okay. So one thing that's happening here

is that they're trying to dock and Joe is once again doing his thing, which is that he's crouching down around a winch and struggling and he's gritting his teeth and his muscles are bulging, but he's not doing anything at all. And this is the third time in a row this happened. And I feel like we talk a lot about Ian

being totally incapable. We've talked about Jono messing up, doing these awful deconstructed chocolate cakes. We pointed out a lot of people's failures in their positions, free with the laundry. And I feel like somehow, wow, there it is, by the way, to interrupt. Can you see it?

Look at this filthy wall, by the way. I'm sorry, I'm staying in a really gross room right now. She looks marvelous. It looks like I'm in prison and a praying mantis is like trying to save me. It's like, here's the keys. Run. That is a filthy, filthy wall. She is ready. Like those legs are out and wide. Oh, she just fell. It's because she's walking down a flat wall trying to get to me. She just fell off the wall. Girl. I. Girl. Continue doing our job while I sit. Okay. Well what I was saying is unlike the praying mantis, Joe was not doing his job. Okay. Joe has avoided really getting a lot of ridicule,

but he fucking sucks at his job. All he does is tie things incorrectly and at the wrong time. And I was glad that it finally got called out because I'm like, I'm sick of watching every docking. They have to wait for Joe to tie something. Yeah. And she keeps kind of hinting like Joe sucks, but then nobody really ever does anything about Joe sucking. And I think Ian has fallen into that thing because later she talks to him. She's like, so Ian, okay, well, you know what we'll get to, is it,

is now when she talks about, okay, it's going to happen docking and he's being really slow. And so now they've, they've, they've docked and she's like, she't that what she talks about? Okay, that's where we are right now. It's gonna happen, they're docking and he's being really slow. And so now they've docked and she's like, she tells us, she goes, this kid man is taking him too long to get the fender secured, okay? I've got wind on my beam, okay? I can't keep holding this vessel off the dock.

If that fender isn't down, we could slam the dock. I could damage the boat. I could freak out one listener of Watch Rock Rapids who's very invested in this. So she goes, finally we did it guys. Okay, listen, Nate's the bow guy, okay? Now Joe, start learning how to tie a line with a fender, okay? Okay, you're gonna have to do that to you learn

because guess who has more knowledge? Nathan, okay? And that just means that you have to learn a little more. Okay. And do less heroin. I'm sorry. I thought I was talking to Hannah there for a second. Okay. Ian, Ian, come to the bridge, Ian. So he's like, hello, Captain, hello.

She goes, okay, listen, I've got a question for you. Have you ever heard the term, let's talk about the Norma in the room? Yes or no? No, I haven't. No, I haven't. Actually I have. It was actually a pretty big term down in Cape Town. So I was like, oh, great.

Wow. I've really got that to trend then. Good for me. Okay. So have you thought about choosing a lead deck hand now that we have just finished our third charter? Surely you're going to start thinking about these things and definitely have not chosen this and have had it sitting on this information for three charters in a row.

He's like, Oh, well, uh, well, I just chose Joe from, from the beginning, uh, just because he has experience and, uh, you know, he's, he's good at guiding people and, uh, he's just good at running the team. And she's like, I made him Irish. I apologize. I was, I was struggling there. Couldn't's like, I'm in an Irish. I apologize. I was, I was struggling there. Couldn't quite get, couldn't quite get it. Couldn't quite do it this time. So, uh, she's like, Oh, wow. I didn't know you chose. You had no idea. Yeah. I've talked to

support a few times and I've watched Nate work circles around Joe. Okay. Joe's a great talker. So maybe that's why he thought that. Yeah. I love when she smiles in someone's face and then she tightens the way she talks. So she's like, maybe that's why you thought that, huh? Cause he's a great talker. Okay. I think you're going to need to reassess experience. And let me just say, you put the S in reassess. Okay. Yeah. You know, you should have informed me before making this decision, of like Norma every time she puts makeup on her face Okay, blue eyeshadow only works on that lady Anyway You know, this is when I was helping Norma put together a tinder. I suggested that for her log line reassess

She didn't she didn't use it but you know her loss I saw anyway you work in yacht staffing services. So how about for your tagline on Tinder is just any port in a storm. See what I'm saying? See what I'm saying? It works, cause you're not a. So I think what Ian did, what I was gonna say earlier, I think what Ian did is he did the kind of dorky move,

the dorky guy move where he just concedes all power to the charming handsome guy who's faking it. And it's just like, well, he's charming enough to make it through life without really doing anything, so why not continue the trend? And he just handed him the keys to the castle and then never paid attention again. He's like, well, he'll be nice to me at bars now.

Well, he didn't put the effort to really look at the CBs and he also didn't use his eyeballs and say, oh, you know what, maybe this guy isn't the best choice for this. So Sandy's like, okay, well, you know what? You know, he didn't do this, this is a red flag. And in the future, always rent it by me, okay? Because guess what?

You look at those two guys, the song's not, you know, Young bad unreliable Nathan. It's quite the opposite. Okay Good old reliable, okay. So okay, just you know what Joe doesn't have the experience. Okay, Nate's my bow guy All right, everyone. Okay. Hold on. I'm on the, I'm on the, I'm on the radio. Everyone. Okay. Everyone get in your whites. Cause we all clearly have white shirts in our closets because Bri is on doing laundry and furthermore, Nate's a my bow guy. Okay. So take a bow, take a bow, Nate. Cause that's your, that's what you do now. You're my bow guy. He's like, but I've got no fucking trousers. Bree wears me trousers.

Bree, I think at this point Bree is just fucking with people. Yeah. Because she's just so bad at this. So the guests are out of here and then Ian, we get to see some sick Ian flirting. I mean, really hot. I had a boner. So Ian sees Ellie and he goes,

Ellie, she's like, yes. I love your lipstick. She's like, hmm. Okay. Well Joe Joe today. I'm choosing between two outfits. I want your help. One is fire lady One is a playboy bunny fire lady, which which do you like? Maybe I should do body suit. I think I should go with bodysuit tonight. And Ian Leensie is like, I can care. She's like, I don't know what that noise was. Did something say something?

Is that refrigerator working up? I'm sorry. I don't speak homely. Could you try other language? So Joe's like, Bri and Ellie, they're still flirting with me, but I don't know what I want. To be honest, I feel embarrassed and I just practically got demoted. So I'm just playing in my head and I want to have some relax, you know, some relaxed time, not about flirting with the girls. I just want good laughs, good energy around to me. You know

what I mean? I'm just going to keep smiling crazily at you. Like I just got my teeth professionally cleaned." Why does he smile like that? He does the weirdest smile. He just kind of like is showing off his teeth when you're at the dentist. And they're like, okay, yeah, just finished up your teeth. Give me a smile. And you're like, here they are to prove that they've like cleaned your teeth well. That's how he does it. I know it's very emoji. It's like that one emoji. That's how he does it. I know. It's very emoji. It's like that one emoji. That's like the embarrassed emoji where it just has like the oval like yikes. So yes, yes, yes. Let's have a little meeting. We can have a cocktail. So they sit down and just well done on this trip, you guys. And by well done, I mean, you guys were a disaster.

You know, we were lucky. The guests were so lovely. But I feel like you guys lost your focus a little bit because of your own personal issues and I think it's important to remember to say things with respect and kindness. Well, you know what, Bree is an idiot and she says I belittle her and she has not said these things and she's absolutely rude and she broke Girl Crowd. Okay, but respect and kindness, Ellie. Okay, I will start. I just feel like sometimes, Ellie, you don't take my feelings into consideration.

Your feelings? Your feelings are that I am an abusive monster pirate? Is that a good thing to say about somebody? Questionable! But also, we don't have time to be overly sensitive about every single word. Was Barbie sensitive when I put her in shoebox and said, this is Malibu? No, she was not. She accepts. She accepts fate.

I love that Ellie's whole argument is this girl has been calling me disrespectful, wait, would she say disrespectful or insensitive or something? That's like the word that is triggering Ellie. Whatever the word is. It's something that she didn't like. It was like some simple word, like she said that I'm insensitive. That's her thing. But now her argument is, well, we can't get hung up on words. You're literally hung up on a word. Well, also Ellie's whole thing, she literally says, well, we don't get hung up on words. You're literally hung up on a word. Well, also Ellie's whole thing, she literally says, well, we don't have time to be overly sensitive. Because she's saying, like, in Ellie's mind, she's saying,

I'm just telling you what you have to do. And you're saying that I'm belittling you. Belittling, belittling. And Ellie is like, you know, we just can't be overly sensitive about every single thing. I'm like, yeah, but you're the one who literally has downwardly spiraled because Joe hooked up with Brie. So I mean, the one who's being the most sensitive here

is Ellie, let's be honest. And that's what it always is. It's always the people who are most sensitive are the ones who accuse other people of being so sensitive. Yeah, I just think this is so ridiculous. I need better fights, you know, because this is like, wow, there you are calling me insensitive. So Asia's like, well, I think we're all very different

personalities. And we've all got buttholes at the end of the day. You want me to show you where poo poo comes out? No, we know where poo poo comes out for crying out loud. And so Asia's like, okay, you know, she's trying to talk them through it like just be aware of what you're saying Yeah, like be aware of how someone's taking something taking things out the proportion at all times. It is exhausting I'm literally dead. Well, look at me dead. Please stop being overdramatic. It's my funeral. Oh She was so gorgeous It is so hard to bury playboy mother like this inbox because nobody had budget to buy her Malibu house to bury her in. Okay, well, it seems like we've gotten nowhere. So should we just squash it now?

I'm like squat. You guys, there was literally nothing even close to resolutions. They're like, yeah. It's like, okay, from now on, let's just all really watch how we speak to each other. It's like, okay, from now on let's just all really watch how we speak to each other. And Ella's like, yes, and also how we take things, bruh. And she's like, yes, but mainly how we speak to each other. And how we take things. And how we speak to each other. And also how stubborn bitches who don't understand laundry rooms take things that we say. Alright, well I don't think laundry rooms take things that we say?

If this doesn't improve I'm gonna have to get kept in Sandy on it and she's just gonna make everybody sit down and talk about their favorite parts of wind So meanwhile, what's your favorite character is it the wind So Gail is, um, she's complaining. She's like, I'm on, she's saying how she's, um, on her phone all the time. There was a text that she got. Did it already happen? I don't think I saw it, but she received the whole episode. It's happening where she gets texts from this fucking needy guy. Well, he writes this awful text that happened earlier. And if I remember correctly, the text said

something like, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm being so needy right now, but I also feel like you're kind of making me this way. I was like, you know, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself three times over on a broken windlass, because how, like, how dare you write such, such manipulation to this, this person who I don't even know who this guy is, but I know abuse coded. It's also abuse coded language. I don't like that language. Like you made me do it. This is your fault. You made me do it. I can't control myself, but it's all your fault. Not okay. Gal that, and I'm not saying he's done anything like that yet, but that language is the same as someone who would do it.

I would just take that as a huge red flag and stay the hell away from this person. Yeah. She needs to get the hell away. And then later on she does mention that she like her dad, like she had like her dad was always like criticizing her. So it's like, well, of course she found, wound up being drawn to some guy who's going to be kind of, you know, and, uh, you know, a step in for the, for the father, the substitute, unfortunately.

So anyway, so she's now saying that, that she's on her phone all the time. She's on her phone because she has to tend to this guy's neediness and Nathan's like, well, is he giving you a shit? And she's like, yeah. And he's like, he's just like comforting her, which is good. I hope that he's not like taking advantage of a shitty situation, but it seems like based on the edit that he's actually being a supportive friend, potential boyfriend to her at this moment. So now it's time for tip meeting and Sandy's like, wow,

this charter was difficult. First, our windlass has to get repaired. Then Bree's brain is still bleached. It's the only thing that she's learned how to bleach is her brain after every single time we teach her how to do something. Nice job over there, Bree. Okay, and then we're gonna have our anchor brought over to us, okay?

Now guys on deck, I know it's never easy, but listen, it's important that we remain teachable. Am I right, Ian? I'm just kidding, you can't learn. You're literally an idiot. So in case you guys didn't hear the news, Nathan is the bow guy. So way to bow it up.

Bow, wow, wow. Bow, wow, wow. Who let the dogs out? Probably Ian. He wasn't supposed to let the dogs out. Let's be honest. Don't trust your dogs with Ian. Okay, we've made $25,000. Let's be honest, don't trust your dogs with Ian.

Okay, we've made $25,000. That's 2,000 per person, 1800 euros per person. Okay, and more money than anyone's ever spent on Norma. Okay. So now that everyone's getting ready for a night out. And if all of you don't understand the conversion between dollars to euros, just pretend that you had $2,000 and then you gave it to breed a

launder and now you've only got 1800. Okay. Of course this is the time when you have to tell Norma we're talking about euros, the currency, not euros, the sandwich. Okay. So Bri the Bri is later on getting ready. Brie and Ellie, it's frosty and between the two of them, Brie is like, in the beginning, I thought that Ellie could possibly be a friend, but now all trust is gone. And I guess I'm just going to have to look out for myself. Oh no, I wound up in someone's closet. Damn

it. This is what happens when I look after things. They go to the wrong place. There is a castle on a cloud. I like to go there in my sleep. Crying a doll is not allowed. Not in my castle on the cloud. What the fuck? What are you left all alone with no one to help you in the world because the second dude doesn't like you? This is the stage manager at Les Mis.

The castle's actually not on the cloud. Has anyone seen the castle? All right, we found the castle. It's in Joe's closet. Are you sure? I could have sworn I put it there. I'm pretty sure that the castle that's hold on. I'm so embarrassed.

I'm sorry. Hey, wait a minute. What's this girl doing here? We didn't even cast you in Les Mis. We cast you in Starlight Express. That's why I'm in roller skates. You can't roller skate on a cloud. I feel so alone.

I'll tell you who's miserable. You can't have roller skates on a cloud. I feel silent. I'll tell you who's miserable. I am miserable because everyone so sensitive about the French revolution now. And Fantine just sing her number during her, and Fantine just put her only fans handle during her number. The anchor, the anchor at the bottom of the sea is like, on my own. A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now. Hannah has heroin in her veins. Master of the yacht.

Duh duh duh duh duh. her means. Master of the yacht dot dot dot dot dot. Trishall just comes by on a barge. I'm gonna be late for my Paris party. I dreamed a dream that I was a fashionista. All right. So um, yeah, Brie, Brie is just broken without Ellie. So then Ellie is trying the whole thing with Joe again. She's like, oh Joe, what do you think about this outfit? Is this a good choice? Yeah, fuck it, me and Brie can battle it out for Joe. I'm not worried about her anymore.

And then Ian of course is like, who gets gorgeous bib? She's like, oh course, is like, who gets gorgeous, babe? She's like, oh, yes, thank you. Commercials, here comes one right now. Divorced beheaded died. Divorced beheaded survived. We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Zifrin.

And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light, as women who used the tools available to them to hold onto power. Some women won the game, others lost. But they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes

at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more of the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black History for Real. So now they go to dinner and everything. Gail and Nathan are flirty. Gail's gonna buy Nathan a drink and stuff. And Asia pulls Joe to the side and Joe's like, oh I'm in a kerpuffle. Okay well that's not a real word but it's close, it's very close. So listen, you know my girls have

been having little quarrels so my request is can you please take the night off from being a fuck boy? Just tell your grandfather you're previously occupied not getting a tattoo. Grandfather, you're previously occupied, not getting a tattoo. Well, I don't want any trouble. I'm not just like this little fuck machine that just goes around, you know, fucking everything. But maybe, you know, I don't think so. But tonight's my night. Tonight's not my night. I'll leave him alone tonight. Well, I shouldn't be asking a dickhand to keep his dick in his pants, but I guess I'm gonna have to. I think you absolutely can do that, you know, I feel like abscessive, be like, stay away from my girls. You're ruining their job performance. Okay. So, um, he's like, I'm going to be professional. Okay. So if anyone,

if anyone needs me, I'm going to be over by our winch trying to tie something on for three hours. And I probably won't be able to do it successfully. So then Ian, so now Ian is this body suit has got, Ellie's body suit has given Ian a huge boner and he is just, he is just be smothering her with all his Ianness. You know, he's like, you know, there's a probably, there's probably a lot of people telling you you're beautiful. I'm another one.

She's like, Oh god. Like this guy, I'm able to read any kind of signs. And it's also not a good sign that he lets the battery run out on things. Cause I have a feeling whoever dates Ian is going to really need strong batteries. This fucking guy is a boner killer if I've ever seen one. My God. She's like, oh, thank you. I am a person of few words and here's one that I do not ever use. I'm warning you now. He's like, no, I mean, uh, me too. I'm a person of few words, which is why, um, you'll hear nothing but me speaking for the next 25 minutes, but I feel like I'm not connecting with everyone

as much as I would like to because I'm thinking about so many other things." And she goes, well, if you'd like to connect with people, you ask them questions about themselves and then you listen. And he goes, oh, you mean like direct questions? Okay. Um, what if I said, are you interested in me? No, that's not selecting. That's a question about you. It's not a question.

Can I stick my penis inside of you? Is that is that the kind of question that you mean? Okay, I'm in. I can do that. Will you let me touch your boobies? Is that the kind of question? God, I love this game. I'm getting good at this.

You know, I kind of miss hanging out with Bree. I suddenly miss that little miss grant. So then Bree's over with Joe trying to flirt with him. She's like, you know, I just can't stop looking at your eyes. And he goes, I know. So now everybody dances and Ian is still talking. It's just like blah, blah, blah. He's like, oh, you're still on your Red Bull.

I don't mind as soon as I got it. I just like to get it going, you know? My mom did offer me dance lessons when I was young, but I had so many other sports. You know, my normal environment is we're called to do like some crazy breakdowns, smooths and stuff like that. And Ellie is just sort of doing this lackluster dancing. It's her way of saying like, I'm preparing you for when I bolt away from you right now. I'm dancing.

I'm not really listening. Maybe you should get the hint that this is not a time for conversation. Come on. When you're trying to dance with a girl and she is playing with her hair and literally looking at the exit sign, she's not that into you. I don't know how clearly you need it to be told to you. I know. She's like, my body suit is working very well.

I'm the wrong person. But at least I'm happy that I have it because I did send it for laundry. And with Bree, who knows who would have wound up with it. She is definitely like a bearcatcher walking through the woods with a bear trap on her ankle. Like, whoops, like, got the wrong one. There's like a little otter in her trap actually. She's like, oopsies. Okay. So then Bree is like, so Joe, what have you been talking about? And he's like, oh, the situation with you, you're cool. You make me laugh. Obviously I find you attractive. Joe, how is this not flirting with the women? Like the first one you see, you're like, Joe, how is this not flirting with the women? Like the first one you see, you're like, would you like to ride me like a horsey on a ferris wheel? Sorry. So I get the, I've got my fun fair mixed up, but you know what I mean. And he's like, but we've already caused so much trauma. She goes, exactly. So what can get worse?

She goes, and he's like, hello, you've got to understand that there's a professional level that we have to protect. I mean, that assumes that there was any professionalism in the first place, but let's at least pretend. Yeah. And she's like, but what if we carried on? Like if you didn't want anything, then I wouldn't invade your space and vice versa. Did that sentence make any sense to anybody? And he's basically like, yeah, it's just, it's not going to happen tonight. Okay. Bye. So then Nathan is, is flirting with Gail and he's like, so what about the swim platform last night? God, everyone loves the swim platform. She goes, yeah,

what about it? Oh, well, when we were doing the lines and you want to swim around and then we chucked it underneath the swim platform. Remember? Oh God, that's a platform. What a funny memory I had. Oh God, are you turned on by me right now oh what are you doing to me the things that these two consider romantic are just so fucking weird conversations are so weird and he's like i'm not doing nothing to yash because look what you did to me i've never been like this do you remember before when I taught you when sharks bite? I normally wouldn't do that to anybody. You're changing me. Day by day. Changing me. I'm changing. And she's like, I've never been like this. He's like,

Willow, I've got to stay away from you because I'm getting horny even being right next to you. I like it though. She goes, clearly. It's like, okay, you've got to shush. I like it more. She goes, Nanny. It's like, okay, you have to shush. Yeah. So then they jump in the taxis and Ellie gets stuck with Ian. Oh my God.

And she's sitting in front of him just like kind of playing with his, there's not even an exit sign and she's like literally looking at it. I mean, that's the only way I could describe her look. She's like, oh my God, I sent him behind me. It is disgusting playing with my hair. And he just blows on her. He goes, make you... And she's like, what?

She's like, what? And then he does this thing with his head like, yeah. He like cocks his head. It'll be like, you like that? He goes, it's a little breezy in here. He goes, it's a little breezy in here. And she goes, oh. It was one of the...

Okay, we've seen so many cringe worthy moments when people flop on this show trying to hit on someone else. But this was maybe a top five or this may have been the biggest one. I rewatched that one like five times in a row. It was so skeevy and so just so bad. It's such a new word with their breath. That just sounds like such a weird idea. Like that. But that it? That just sounds like such a weird idea. Like that, huh.

That, that it's like, you see that only in movies. That's like, people do that in real life. Yeah. So then they get back to the boat and Ellie is changing. It's just like, oh, I said, this is the absolute last time I ever have it. You know, my ear,

I'm like, I'm okay. And so Gail and Nathan have a flirting scene about how they really like each other. And Nathan's like, should we go to bed? She's like, we should, huh? And they don't do any, whoa, is this when they go hide in the? Um, a little bit before then.

So basically they're saying things like, she's saying things like, I'm a little heartbreaker. And he's like, it's not a bad thing. And then she's like, you're different. You know, saying all these things that are like, she's saying things like, I'm a little heartbreaker. And he's like, it's not a bad thing. And then she's like, you're different. You know, saying all these things that are like sort of empty flirtations that people say cause they've heard it in the movies before, you know? And he's like, I like you too.

And he kisses her on the cheek and then she kisses him on the cheek. But then they sneak off. They sneak off to this. And it's like, they're gonna sneak off to the boom boom room because that's, remember last time they were like, we want you up there. Oh yeah, this. And then they sneak off, I think. And it's like they're gonna sneak off to the boom boom room because that's, remember last time they're like, we want you up there. Oh yeah, sorry.

And then they chickened out. So now they run to bang in the secret room and they go in there, but the camera crew has gotten smart and they have put a floor camera in there. These people, they've like figured out a way, they're like, okay, if this is where they're gonna hide while they bone, put a camera on the floor, they'll never see it. Uh, so they go in there and they don't do anything that bad. They just kiss, you know, and then she's in a relationship. So it's, you know, it's definitely a significant thing that they guess, you know? Yeah. But I mean, look, they're, they're already basically doing it on camera. I guess this is like the

official, but I don't know. I'm, I'm all for her cheating on that person. Listen, I get it. I'm hypocritical because sometimes I really don't like it. And sometimes I really do like it. And in this situation, I say, cheat on him. Oh, I should totally cheat on him. Um, but I'm just saying, it's like, you know, yes, they're not doing anything hot, too hot and heavy. They're just making out, but it's definitely like, okay, you have to make a decision now, so yeah now it's the morning and uh guess what we found norma i'm sorry we found the anchor okay they're bringing it back anchor's coming back and it's riding in a norm and a normal

mobile which of course is a flatbed okay which is also a great way to describe Norma's actual bed. Pretty flat, not something to get a lot of activity. Guys, the anchor is on its way on a flatbed, which is basically how Norma got to prom. Okay, that was her limo. Good to you, all flatbed. Here's the 1-800 number for those. Those were the days.

Fun fact, if you lose your anchor in Athens, when they bring it back to you, it's wrapped in a pita. It's delightful. They're just so welcoming here. It's an anchor. Anchor pita. All right. So, you know, listen, here's how we got it. The divers go down with airbags and then they start floating it up. Listen, I've always told Norma that's how to get her life back on track too, but you know what?

You can lead a horse to water. Okay. So then meanwhile, the guys are talking, Joe and Nathan are talking about the hookup and everything and Nathan just says that there was a little bit of neck kissing, but that's it. And Joe's like, you be careful. So Sandy's like, okay, everyone, guess what? Apparently Bravo just dropped some new episodes of smoke. We thought we were going to have to wait months,

if not years for this to get out of development hell. But guess what? They just surprised us. The debut premiere episode of Smoke is happening right now because there are wildfires just a few hours from the marina. So everyone gather around. It's smoke time. Yeah, you know, it's the first time in my career that I've ever had to deal with wildfires. First and foremost, it's so sad when you think about all those people suffering, you know, and then it's also not close to the boat yet, but it's getting closer. So it's time to run.

We're out running the smoke. We're out running the smoke. Kind of like that time that Norman didn't pay for her, you know, her hair, but after the prom she was running rad from flavors. It was real scary. It was real scary time for them. I said, whoever you mess with, Norma,

don't mess with the gays. Smoke. You need them. Ah, God, I love smoke. Things are smoking. A phrase that's never been used to describe Norma, ever. So anyway. Oh my God, why can't I breathe? Is someone employed Hannah again? Someone handed up the hills around Athens.

Okay, hold on. By the way, I need to have a sit down with the farce around Athens. Unfortunately, you're fired because you're smoking when you shouldn't be. Anyway, continue on, I should have stopped. I should have stopped a long time ago. Well, Leah found illegal smokings in your purse.

Okay, so anyway, this very serious situation firefire Okay, so let's go talk about the anchor some more So the divers go back down with their airbags and then to put the chain back on you got to put a line through a hose Pipe. Oh god, that was just too easy. But you know, so is Norma when in Rome alright, I Although in this case, when in Athens. Good thing, go back. Okay, nailed it, nailed it.

So by the way, I just wish we could take off now, but I think leaving our clients at the dock wouldn't be a good thing. I'm like, but what about, is it because the tender's still broken? Because why can't they just go out and then take a water taxi? Why can't they take a water taxi to the yacht?

I don't know, because they do sometimes do that, but yeah. But now they have to meet for the preference sheet meeting. Okay. Charter number four, this is going to be a shorter charter. Oh, I love smaller people. Not that kind, just like time-wise. Aw. It'll be like a Norma date, over before it's even started. Hehehehehe. They'll be calling for the check after advertisers. Hehehehehe.

Hehehehehe. All right, crew, don't waste your good bras tonight. Okay. Hehehehehe. Okay. Okay. Okay. Our co-primary charters, it's Casey and Quint Myers from Charleston, South Carolina. They're gonna be exploring Europe for the first time.

Okay. His name is Quint. So Asia's like, oh. Quint. His name is Quint. So Asia's like, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Quint. Oh. I thought it was Quint at first, but it's actually just Quint.

Oh, okay. Yeah. That's nice. They want to call him. I had trouble reading his name, so I had to squint. And then I thought, oh my God. Wonder if there's any relation.

For a moment, I thought they were requesting a basket of Quint's, but it's just no, it's just Quint, Quint Myers. Oh, they want land excursions, they want land excursions, they can walk around on a local island. Yes, we're gonna go to Hydra, cause that's a different doc out there.

So the doc team needs to be on their A game, okay? Let's discuss this guys, we got this, we got this guys. Doc, doc doc doc discussion. Okay. I like big docs and I cannot lie. I forgot the rest of the rhyme, but you get You other Yachties can't deny when a dickie walks in and they've got a big grin. I got horny. There he said it. I got horny. Barry said it. It's about time I came clean.

Anyway, we're gonna go to a town that's named after a vicious sea monster. What could go wrong, okay? Hydra. We're going to a vicious sea monster town with a man named Quint. Nothing can go wrong today. So now Gail's doing this thing.

She goes up to Nathan and goes, Did I do anything bad last night? I've just got the hangover anxieties. I don't remember anything. I'm like, good luck. Good try, Gail. Good try. We've all been there, but come on.

I'm kind of tired of the Bravo like, oh my God, did I do anything last night? Like, please don't be a Gary on this show. We've had enough. So Brie is like talking, you know, anything last night?" Like, please don't be a Gary on this show. We've had enough. So Brie is like talking, you know, they're making small time watch talk with Ellie and they're pretending to be nice to her and to each other. Pardon me, to each, they're being nice to each other. And so then Gail goes to talk to Jono and she's like, fuck man. And he's

like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Is this, is this text from you? Because he's now reading the text on her phone and she's, he's like, yeah, texting is hard. And Gail's like, I just feel like a shit person because like, it's like, I feel like I'm trying and he goes, do you feel like you're always trying? Do you feel like you're trying to make a deconstructed chocolate cake happen and people just aren't accepting it? He is a good gay friend.

And here's the lie, because he is a good friend. And you know, we give him a lot of shit, I think just because that first time when they tried to wake him up and he was like, fuck that bitch. I was like, I didn't, I didn't love that. But I think since then, you know, he's been trying, I mean, even with cold eggs, you know, like he's not so bad. And I think he's, he does like, he plays the gay friend role here very well, because he doesn't just yes everything. No. She goes, I feel like a shit person and I feel like I'm trying. And he goes,

do you feel like you're trying? Like, girl, we've all seen your version of trying, which is basically flirting with this. Like you're in a relationship with this other guy now, right? And she goes, but I do feel like I'm always on the phone. And he's like, well, maybe you need a break. And she's like, but he's such a good guy and he doesn't know. And he's like, do you really want to be with him?

You know, he's like, hello. And yeah. And she's like, yeah, he's like, do you want to be with him? And she goes, yeah, I just, I struggle. You know, he's, she says that one, I'm sorry. What he really, what really he says like do you want to be with him and she goes yeah I just I struggle you know he's she says that one I'm sorry what he wrote what really says is do you want to be with him and she goes but he's such a good guy and like you know I don't want to like it's that character assassin and he goes that's not what I asked and that's I act at that moment I actually did turn to Dom I said that's a good friend right there. Yeah I agree. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. He wants points with me there for sure. And she's basically saying like, you know, God, I wish he sucked because it would be, if he sucked, it would be a lot easier.

Or if he hated me, it'd be easier, but I'm torturing myself and emotions are involved and growing up. I never got a good job. It was always, you can do better, but at the same time I should reap the seed that I, it's like, no, your dad was a Dick and now you're drawn to people who are going to treat you the same way. And you need to break that cycle. I don't care. You can come up with these excuses. You got to lead this guy. Cause by the way, he's not a good guy. These texts are not the things that a good guy texts.

So stop fooling yourself. Stop trying to sell us on the fact that he or yourself or John, Oh, he's a good guy. He's not a good guy. He's an asshole. And he needs to go off and do his own thing. But it was also kind of funny that she's like, it's a child. All I ever got was my father telling me you can do better. And you're literally about to do better by going to a different guy. So I don't know patterns. So she's like, um, you know, they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but I don't know that I believe that. And he goes, yeah, but they also say out of sight, out of mind.

Yep, exactly. And she's like, I just hate disappointing people. Like, I don't want to break his heart, you know, I'm like, listen, I have some very bad news, but all this is being televised. So that ship has literally already sailed. You're not only going to hurt his feelings, you're literally going to hurt his feelings every day for weeks at a time because this is now week seven of this airing on television. Yeah. And also this is someone who also has his feelings hurt all the time because it works for him. So just get over it. Um, so he basically, John was like, you got to tell him. So then, um, Hey, Hey, so, uh, Brie question. I have a question. So my laundry has a label on it. Okay. So if you see a shirt that says Sandy, that's I'm Sandy.

I don't know if you know that. Hi, I'm Sandy. So when you see something named Sandy, send it to my room, not anywhere else on this boat. You think you could do that for me? Oh my God, fuck, I am so embarrassed. I know where your clothes are. Oh good, can you show me? No? Okay, well, I'm gonna trust you with that one. You know, it's not the first time

my laundry's getting mixed up. In all fairness, the third stool is at entry level, so I'm not going to fire her for losing my shit, but you know what? We need to correct it. We need to correct it. We need to correct it. And this is pretty bad.

I'm walking around with. I'm walking around. Someone's walking around with labels on the back of their shirt, like Norma, Norma at the school dance just says, yawn on the back, you know, Bree needs to develop a system. Like, I don't know, when you see someone's name on a shirt, you give it to that person. That's a simple system. So then, so they, there's the,

they patch the laundry, et cetera, and Ellie brings the laundry up and she's like, good morning, Captain Sandy. I here is some, hope I'm not belittling you, because apparently that's all I do these days when I give you your laundry. Hello, a terrorist wants to enter just kidding. It's me, Ellie. I don't know what you have heard, but it's untrue. So and she's like, um, could you please ask a brie where my clothes are because I still don't have them. She goes, Oh, really? I will ask right now. Brie, Brie where my clothes are, because I still don't have them. She goes, oh, really? I will ask right now.

Brie, Brie, Ellie, Brie, Brie, Ellie, why are you so incompetent? This is emotional terrorists calling. I'm just, that is a joke because she can't take a nothing. Laundry for yawn. Do you want laundry? Laundry for yawn. Oh yes, yes. One moment.

Can you, like, one moment. I'll bring the clothes up and she's like yeah, get my clothes, okay, because this gray shit, don't ever bring this gray shit into my room again. Okay, hold on one second, brie brie brie, I'm doing what is called brie littling, okay, one second, brie brie brie. Captain Sandy looking for clothes, oh her clothes, oh they're in the washing machine, oh okay. Captain Sandy, clothes

and washing machine will absolutely beat you very shortly. Well I'm not going to leave until the wind dies down but hopefully it'll blow smoke the other way. God look at all this television programming. We're going to be delayed. Well can the guests just hang out a little bit? Yeah yeah um we're going gonna have to entertain him. Okay, tell him about a big field, a big field with stakes in it. Stakes they tied ladies to who never knew how to do their job right or employ a bow correctly.

Call it Norman the Wind. All right, this is getting disturbing now. Let's just take off. So she's like, you know what? Here's the thing. As much as I love this show, I can't have a lot of wind when I'm trying to maneuver out of the slip, okay? Sort of like Norma getting into her clothes at night.

So I have to wait, because you know, she wears a slip. Just want to point out that Norma wears a slip everyone. Okay, I have to wait for a weather window, okay? And we need to get off the dock before the fires get close and the smoke starts coming into the marina. So we have to be, when it's time to go, we have to be ready. And I have to be wearing a white shirt, okay? So, oh my God, we're all gonna die.

The wind's coming, the smoke's coming, the fire's coming. This is the most terrifying thing ever. Ellie, where's my laundry at? You got that? It's in thryer. Okay, well bring it to me when you're done. Okay. Okay.

Rockin' it down, rockin' it down. Let's press go, let's press go. Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke. So then Ellie brings her a pile, Brie brings her a, like, it's like, oh here it is Captain Sandy, sorry about that, but here's all your clothing, which as you requested, one sock, a pair of pants, and a giant hat. She's like, yeah, but where's my shirt? This is terrible.

It's right here, Captain. This is a flamingo blow up doll. This is for the pool. Oh, my bad. This is, here it is, here's your shirt. This is a sombrero. Oh, it's all these. My bad. I shouldn't. Here's your shirt. This is a sombrero. Oh, it's so nice. My bad. I shouldn't be looking for my shirt.

I'm dealing with wind, fire, gas. Fuck me. This cannot happen. It's shot. This is the last time I'm going to get pissed. I want my clothes. I'm really sorry. So Bree is like, OK, everyone, she's like, everyone, this is Bree, Bree, Bree to the crew. If anyone has a white medium female shirt, please, please.

Literally everybody on this boat does, Bree. That's a good thing. She's gonna have to go into the closets of Larry, Larry, and Larry at this point. Okay, so this is like drama craziness. And Bree is like, I am so torn on what to say, because I know I'm making mistakes, but I can't get it out of my head that I'm not the only one in the laundry room.

From now on, I'm going to log every single bit of laundry that comes to that room, because receipts, bitch. Also because of your job. Like you have to be able to do your job. That's called doing your job. Okay, doing your job is not receipts. Fucking Brie. But also, so now she's accusing this girl

of basically hiding the laundry, right? She's like, this girl's like trying to fuck with me to make me look stupid or what? I think she's saying like, I'm not the only one in there. Like why am I getting all the blame for this? Right. So anyway, now it's time. Now Sandy has her shirt and now it's time to start leaving. Ian goes and tells Joe to fix a whole bunch of stuff. Ian has like a mini power trip with Joe and everything.

And then Joe's all sensitive about it. He's like, Oh, see you had a word with me just to be more on top of things if he can help me out, you know? And he's just sort of feeling like he's been kicked while he's down. And now Sandy's like, okay, Ian, Ian, Ian, come to the bridge, okay. He's like, oh well, it's looking way better out here.

There's like no white caps. She's like, yeah, but guess what? This big norma of a yacht just parked right in front of me. Look how massive it is. And sure enough, a giant super yacht has come in and just parked right in front of motor yacht mustique. And this is funny because today someone had just parked in front of my garage when I came home and I was like, I am having a captain Sandy moment right

now, but that is just truly the worst thing, the most annoying thing. So now it's all smoky. They've got to get out of there before the smoke comes in. Cause when the smoke comes in, I think it's harder for them to get out. Visibility is bad. So she has to get out. But this big ass yacht has literally just parked in front of Mystique to which I wonder where are the people who are like in control of this Marina? Cause they're always radioing in like I'm coming in, et cetera. Why did no one tell the big yacht, Hey, Mystique is about to leave. How did this happen? So now not only did it, not only is

the smoke coming in, but they have a very small amount of space to maneuver, to get out of this slip. So she's like, you know, right now, the wind is getting worse and worse. And we have a boat on our port side and another boat that just pulled in, pulled in front of me. And typically I wouldn't take the risk, you know, to leave the dock, but because we have so much smoke coming in,

I have to get this vessel off the dock. So I'm going to take the risk. So my plan is we trap lines, I'll thrust off. And I want to come as close to that boat as I can because otherwise it'll blow me back on. And okay, everyone, everyone get ready. Everyone get ready. Nathan, Nathan, you're my bow guy. Just want to remind everyone. So now the fire is actually starting to come over the hillside. Smoke is filling up the Marina. We can see, we actually can see smoke on camera. We see it on the pier. It's getting dark. It's like

Los Angeles every, like every August, basically during forest fire season, which is really crazy. And they're like, they're just trying to get out their boxed in their smoke. And if I make one wrong maneuver, this season's over. And that everyone brings us the end of Below Deck Mad. If you're wondering where Ronnie is, he lost connection. So I just finished it up, but that was pretty much the end of the episode. Thanks everyone for being here. We sure do appreciate you. And stay tuned for Real Housewives of Orange County and all the other ones.

And we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. And if Ronnie were here, he would say bye. And if Ronnie were here, he would say, Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-lis. She's never scary, it's the green fairy. Jamie, she has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurt. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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