Watch What Crappens - #2490 RHODub S02E07: Beggars Can’t Be Schmoozers

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

This week on Real Housewives of Dubai, Brooks and Taleen have a screaming match on a public street, a big no-no for the country.  Will this lead to consequences?  Probably not.  But it was funny!  Also, Chanel hosts a fashion show, and Caroline Stanbury welcomes everyone into her home. Watch this as a video recap and find all of our Love Island US bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crap In. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkirch and joining me today is the hilarious non-beggar himself, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? You are a beggar. I love that.

Beggar. I loved that. Beggar. Beggar. Yeah, well, you know, a lot of new insults coming into Bravo this year. We've slob and beggar. Don't say these words around certain people, everyone. That's what we've learned.

Anyway, we're gonna be talking about Real Housewives of Dubai today, before we dive into that. Love Island, if you're watching Love Island, we're recapping that over on Patreon. We do these mini recaps, quote unquote mini, they're like anywhere between 10 to 30 minutes long. We do fresh recaps the day after the show airs and then at the end of the week or in a week, we will compile them all together and put them here on the Crappin Speed. But if you want to hear fresh hot takes, go to patreon.com slash watch or crappens. We also did a bonus

episode yesterday where we went onto Amazon for Amazon Prime Day and did some shopping and that was super fun. So listen to that. And that's basically, I think the pressing news from the crappens verse these days. So with that further ado, let's dive into the real housewives of Dubai. Let's do it. Here we go. Let's see what the housewives are doing to start their day. Lisa Milan is taking her boys to what I can only assume is football. She's very upset about football, carpool. That is Lisa's, does the bane of Lisa's existence is football, carpool. I get it. And I suggest that Leah did what my mom did during carpool and just tell other moms, take

him. And that's how I, my mom has a way of like rephrasing it now, like I spent my entire life driving you to the theater. Well she kind of did. And I have to give her credit for some of that. That was good. But a lot of it was just like, is there a bus? Is there anybody with a car that lives any close to us

that I can give a 22? Yeah. Do that. So then meanwhile, Sarah is on FaceTime with Akeen and she's basically like, so are you going to move here to Dubai? It's like, that's pretty intense next step for someone you're not officially dating. I would have to say.

Yeah. She's like, Whoa, you're slow down, buddy. You're too slow. I'm, I'm ready to go. You're crazy and you're insisting that some personal trainer Hottie from Facebook or from Instagram is going to support your lifestyle, you're nuts. Please leave us alone with your crazy eyes, lady. So then Talene is with her family, pouring sugar into things, and then they hand it to the kid

who then pours it all over the counter. And then Talene's like, well, I guess I'm gonna go get ready now. We have questionable labor here to help us with that. Yeah. They're trying to make cookies again. And this time the mom is spearheading the cookie endeavor and she's like, okay, well here's a cup of sugar. And she's literally taken a glass and filled it with sugar. It's like, you know, it's not a literal term lady. Why does no one in this household understand the simple act of making cookies from a box? And I like that they pretend

that they've always been super rich. That's how like new rich people are. They're like, what? Have you pushed sugar into something? What's a cup? Like girl, you were a fucking unsuccessful singer in Venice Beach. Can we stop pretending?

Yeah. That you don't understand the simple acts. You don't understand simple things. Yeah. So then, yeah, I just kind of zoomed out right there in the middle. I was like, wow, I thought about it. You were thinking about the sugar in the cup, weren't you? I really did.

I started thinking about it. So now we go to a shoot for Chanel's makeup line, Ayaan Beauty. And we see a shot of one of the products. It's called Tit for Toot. I forgot about Tit for Toot. So she's getting her makeup done and, you know, she's, you know, they're putting this like,

it looks like gold leaf on her head and everything. They're just like talking and she's saying, I'm, I know, like literally confirming 100% I am a badass bitch. And Chanel is very excited because her sister, Ifrah has just walked in and she loves her sister. And she's like, would you have ever thought us living in the village that we would ever like no eyelashes existed

or makeup and now we're wearing my lashes. It's so fucking funny. So they're just being like very sentimental about like how far they've come, et cetera. Yeah. And that's pretty cute. So she's going to be having this opening party for her. She's going to have a launch party for this product or whatever. And then what else? Not a lot happened in this scene, right? No, it's just like she's talking about like the party, her brother comes in, Sadik, and they're just like talking and she shows us, her brother comes in Sadiq and they're just like talking and she shows us, then Taj comes in and Taj is now a model. So he's going to be walking in the show.

So that's exciting now. And she's really excited that he's going to be working in her industry. And he just booked a Burberry gig and everything. And then, uh, we see Michael, who we saw last season, I believe. And Michael has a giant gown for Chanel to wear that was imported from a museum and Egypt. I mean, it was, it was wild. It was a huge, huge gown. Yeah. So in other words, nothing happened in the scene. Yes. Yeah. So your answer is correct. Yeah. Yeah, I asked that to skip it. Wait, hold on, let's listen to the grinding of the workers upstairs.

Grind, okay. So now let's go to everybody arriving at event with Talene Stanbury Sabans, Seren Sabah. And so, you know, Chanel's like, my anxiety is so bad, it's so bad. And she's like, I've spent so much money, you know, we've got all these people coming and I need this to be good.

And Stamberry is like, well, I'm super annoyed with Sara because Brooks and I are not in a good place right now. And regardless of any part of the argument, Sara has to choose her side. And we go back to that lunch they had two weeks ago in the desert where, you know, Stan Burrow was like, Sarah, shut up. She's like, you shut up.

Shut up. You shut up. Shut up. You shut up. Why does everything need to be hoobly boobly gobbly derbly from you, Sarah? Just be quiet. And Sarah's like, how dare you gobbly googly doogly boogly. Me and Sergio have always been closer to Sarah than Brooks ever was. Well, actually, I was closer to Sarah and I just told Sergio,

guess what, you're close to Sarah now. And he accepted it. And it's crazy at the moment that Brooks goes against me, Sarah goes to the other side completely. I'm like, yeah, but then Talene did the same thing for you. And you have no problems with that. So let's be honest. Yeah, but it's just so nice to see someone

tell Sarah to shut up. I've just been waiting for it. With her like, we just need to pray guys. We just need to pray. While she buddies up next to the most evil person on this cast, like pretending she's so spiritual. She's like, guys, I'm so spiritual. Let me just sit here and laugh while Brooks bullies people

in their own home. Yeah, exactly. Which comes later. Yeah. So now Chanel's getting ready and she's anxious and she's like, she's worried about diarrhea and everything. And then the fashion show begins. And now all these models are walking down the catwalk and they're just like, is it fashion show?

Or is it makeup? Tiki tiki? What do I do? What do I do? And they're like, what's going on here? Like, where's the actual, it's a nice fashion show, but like, where's the actual product? I know, I was like, is this a moisturizer fashion show? Because even the makeup, when they're like,

where's the makeup? And then they were like, ding! They did the arrows with the pointing dings, and there's like a light eyeshadow on somebody, and that's it. So I do think it was maybe a little confusing, but listen, it's a TV show. You just need to get the Ion Beauty out there

to go sell that shit, you know, so good for you. Did we check to see if Ion Beauty's up or it better be Ion. We're rooting for you. Let's look at it. Ionbeauty.com, hear it, it's beautiful. It's up, free US shipping for orders over $48. You can get VVIP access.

That's funny. And 10% off. It's funny. It's good. Good website. Let's see here. It doesn't say WordPress on here. She's got actual things.

She's got lashes that are called period dot. Oh, that's funny. They're 26. I'm going to add to cart and let's see if I can buy it. This is big, Ben. We have to check. This is a Bravo website now. You can't just assume that it all works.

No, absolutely. And while you check that out, we should also mention the Emmy nominations came out today and in Emmy news and Bravo news, Vanderpump Rules scored a nomination again and Top Chef was also nominated for best reality competition, which is a little, you know, I don't think that like Wisconsin was their best season, but like I'm always happy to see Bravo representation and the Traders was nominated for best reality competition and I think the Traders should win. I think it will win.

If RuPaul or Amazing Race beats the Traders, I think that's going to be kind of bullshit only because those shows have won so much that's just laziness on behalf of the voters. The voters don't pay attention to that. I don't even think they watch. Remember how Amazing Race would just win all the time because they're like, that one's classier because they travel on it. Yeah, Amazing Race is great, but it's like,

after a certain point, it's like, there are other great competitions out there, so. I think the fact that they even nominated Top Chef this year proves that they don't watch it shit at all But it would also be hilarious if it wins when Padma's not there Wow That felt like an aggression So the big winner in all of this is I am beauty comm who has a working website Products that are ready to be shipped and even even takes Apple Pay. So, well done, Aion.

That is impressive. This is one of the best Bravo product launches we've ever seen. You're a winner. Well listen, you don't need to hear it from us. You can hear it from Caroline Stanbury, who has a great grasp on youth slang. Just leave it to Ayaan to make Makeup Blanche a fashion show. I mean, that girl is living. Did I do that right? Living. It's giving Yas Queen.

Is that correct? That girl's eyelashes are on fleek. Amazing stuff, amazing stuff. This is one party where I don't want to be outy five thousand two. So bomb dot net. Bomb dot net. At earthlink dot net dot bomb. So Lisa was late. She missed the fashion show and she's like, I know I'm late, but however I am juggling 10 million things better late than

never. Right? No, not for your best friend thing. You would have had a fit if this was your fashion show. Like it was last, wait was Chanel late to her fashion show last year? I don't remember. I don't remember. Cause that was actually two years ago in real time. So I don't remember, but this was a big deal. And I don't think you can just solely blame it on football Okay, but it would have been funny if she came into the fashion show with like slice oranges for everyone She's like guys. I was just at football. I'm sorry, but here's some orange slices for everyone

She just took some cokes out of a out of the cooler End of the game cooler. It's like Capri sounds anybody, Cokes. She makes all the models shake hands in a line. And for some reason there's only like two big reds in there so people have to fight over that. Like how is there eight of everything else but there's only two big reds every time? I hate sports.

So well I famously quit my youth soccer league so I could stay home and watch the Smurfs. And that's how, you know, in a different world, in a sliding doors world, I could have been a jock, but instead I'm not a jock. I'm talking about reality TV. Yeah, you know, I never went to PE. I walked to my city's house and watched American, not American, another world and days of our lives with her every day and played cards with her and her sisters.

That's why I have weight problems. Yeah. Thanks, Fully Sugarlont. I could have been something. I don't suffer from that illusion. So anyway, then Brooks also shows up really late and runs into Chanel in the hallway. And she knows like, why are you late? Really? She goes, Oh, I don't know. I got stuck in traffic. But by the way, you look like Nefertiti or something like that. She's like, okay, whatever. It's like, all right, okay. So anyway, so she's fully wasted. And she shows up and everyone's saying hi. And then Caroline's like, the fact that she has had to come in, just as it's all over doesn't surprise me at all. Brooks cannot watch other people succeed. She is most uncomfortable in a space

where the toilet is not embedded into the ground. And then they cut to her introducing her new friend around. Say, oh, hi, this is one of my friends. Works for me in a glass house. She's a little lopsided today. She tried to sit on the toilet, hurt her ankle. Fucking what's his buns? What's his name?

Tarzan? What's his name? Tarmac. Torbon. Turban. Torbon. Torlon. Turo.

Turing. Dabub. But anyway, fuck that guy. And Caroline's like, plus now she's not got Tarlene to drag around to every event, so she needs to rent a friend. And then you just see the friend. She's like, hi, don't speak.

Don't speak unless I speak to you. Let's do it. We all know if we're gonna rent anyone, it's gonna be a husband. Sergio, get over here, stand there. All right, I'm gonna balance this cocktail on your head. Be still, Sergio, very, very still. Sergio is also completely spray-tanned and contoured and looks insane.

And Lisa walks right up to him and goes, wow, we got some spray tan, huh? So then, uh, let's see. So now the group is sitting at a table chatting and they're talking about how cold it is and it's 77 degrees, which is kind of cold for that place. I love that. I love that because in LA we get so much shit when we say it's cold and it's 77 degrees, which is kind of cold for that place. I love that. I love that because in LA we get so much shit when we say it's cold and it's always like 63 degrees and everyone's like fucking that Angelino's but now it's like, aha, there's someone who's worse than us.

The people in Dubai complaining about it being cold when it's 77 degrees. Yeah. So they're making small talk about the house and blah, blah, blah. And then Raffi is trying to say hi to Brooks because Brooks is kind of blowing him off. You know, he's like, Brooks, I ain't seen you around Brooks, huh? She's like, oh, well, I've been working. It's been very busy, very busy at my work.

Very, very busy. You know, we do teas now. We do teas. You know, I've been so busy walking into the glass house, walking around, calling out, Zoran, Zoran, I know you're here somewhere. And then going home and drinking a bottle of tequila. It's so hard. A lot of work these days. And Talene's like, Oh my God, so awkward. This is so awkward. So she tells us, since the desert,

I've really been making an effort to try to fix things with Brooks and I eat this and I'm getting cold little responses. And I'm hurt at her reaction and how things with Brooks. And I eat this and I'm getting cold little responses. And I'm heard at her reaction and how she took it. And she blew things out of proportion. I mean, don't you think that's stirring the pot just a little bit? I need to talk about it every moment of every day. I hate when people blow things out of proportion.

Ah, I used to be a singer. So. out of proportion. I used to be a singer. So Chanel joins the group and she's like, thank you everyone. Thank you so much. And Brooks and Lee start saying like they were late because there were so many people in line to get in and they couldn't get in. And she was like, oh, it's okay. You're all forgiven anyway. And so then Sergio turned, meanwhile Sergio was talking to Sarah and he's like, oh, Sarah, can you come one second? I want to talk to you. Can I talk to you?

Okay, this is the first time since I know you that I feel awkward because I feel awkward, not because of tension, but because I just learned that your canal is not the same as Vagina Canal. It is so confusing and so awkward. But I wanted to tell you, you are like my brother. Ah, you're like my sister. No, you're like my brother.

But you're like my sister who has a brother and I'm the brother of the sister. Yes, you are the brother of the sister and I'm the sister and you're the brother. Yes, tiki tiki brother sister. No, we don't do that here, not in our culture. So, by the way, if you want to see how great brothers and sisters do,

watch Real Housewives of New Jersey. I hate when people are like, we're like brothers and sisters. That doesn't, what does that mean? There are a lot of brother and sister murders. You know, who cares? So she's like, well, this is awkward, but I need you to see it from my side,

because I fought for your wife, but your wife has never never ever fought for me. You guys have to talk, and when you talk, Carol, I want baby. So she says, after the desert fiesta, between me and Caroline Stambury, she did come over to my house and she apologized, but I also opened up about how I feel about her.

And so we see a flashback to a week ago, and Stamber is saying, you know, sometimes Sarah unless asked people would quite like to fix their own shit. And Sarah's like, well, I don't think our friendship is where it used to be. But in Arabic, we say something, something, something, something, something, something, something, something. I was like, that is a very long phrase, you know? And my grandparents were Lebanese, as some of you know. And so some stuff I learned, but mine was like,

smella, yalla, that means goodness, come on. Or like, goodness, let's go. Like, I need shorter phrases to learn. Yeah, goodness, let's go. Smella, yalla. You're like King Agon on House of Dragon. Like, can we have war? Or like with Sarah, when Sarah says, like in Arabic,

we say, you're my brother and I'm my sister. I would just say, oh, hadam, which means like, oh, poor thing. So what she's really saying is, we ate bread and shared bread. We ate and shared bread. So there is something there that I just can't walk away from is we ate bread and shared bread. We ate and shared bread. So there is something there that I just can't walk away from because we ate food together.

So now we're back to the present and Brooks is like, by the way, Talene, I heard your voice notes. By the way, fuck you for leaving voice notes. Just the text would have been fine. I mean, I was in a public space and I had to move into a quiet corner so I could listen to your fucking voice notes Anyway, I acknowledge your feelings. No me. I'm just a spit. I'm a spitfire I just I spit fire all the time because yeah

Well, you know, you don't know what's coming out sometimes sort of like my mom when she makes cookies Well, you know what? I know what's coming out. I just don't know other people how they're gonna perceive it And so if your feelings were hurt by some of the incenses that I said, I'm sorry. I don't want to have feelings. Do you really mean that? Yes, but okay, look, I'm trying to be on Teline's side because well, I am on her side and I like her

and I think she's good new casting and all of that stuff. But Teline leaves voice notes. That's bad. So that is very difficult because I, but Tilleen leaves voice notes. That's bad. So that is very difficult because I know what kind of person leaves voice notes. They're usually, I do know one very good person. We know a good person in common that gives voice notes. So I'm going to forgive him. I don't know.

I love him. I'm not going to say his name, but I do love him. And he can leave voice notes, but everybody else, your drama queens and your monsters for trying to take my time. If you can't fit it in a text, then you don't deserve to say it to me. Okay? You don't get to text me and then start calling me because you know. And also I would say 95% of voice notes are left when someone's driving so they can't text. So this is what a voice note sounds like. Hey, babe, just wanted to leave you a voice note. I know it's so annoying,

but I'm driving. I can't text right now. Oh shit, someone just almost cut me off. I cannot believe, you know, the people, the way they drive is crazy. Anyway, what I wanted to say, oh, hold on. This one's ending. I'm gonna start the new one. You're like, that first one wasn't,

all you were doing was describing that you're giving me a voice note. You didn't even give me any information yet. They're all about driving. And it's always no matter what they're saying to you Someone's always cutting them off Of course They are because you're holding a phone and talking on your phone while you're driving and then you're always surprised that five different people

Almost crash into you. You're the bad driver here and you're the bad texter. Yeah, it's time for a commercial It's time for a crap. It's commercial Time for a Crappins commercial. My name is Georgia King, and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondry+, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink, and listen to will all be up to my very special guests. We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip

around Disneyland. We'll eat a bowl of life-changing pasta with Jimmy O'Yang in Tuscany, Italy. And how do you feel about a spot of sugaring off with Emily Hampshire in Montreal? And away we go, we'll immerse you in some of the wonders of the world. We're gonna be seeing some yellows and vibrant oranges.

And the shoes clicking against the cobblestone. If you're looking to get somebody in the mood, have them look at the Chicago skyline. You can listen to And Away We Go exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Georgia, do you know what joy sounds like? I think I'm hearing it right now.

I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like stop around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast. Like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. by joining Wondery Plus. So I don't know that I can be on her side, but I am. I am anyway, but just stop the voice notes. Yeah, that's a bad, that's a bad quality, the voice notes. Bad quality. So Brooks is doing, speaking of bad qualities,

Brooks is just like, when she says, you know, babe, sometimes you don't know what's coming out. She's like, oh yeah, yeah, I do know what's coming out. I do, I do. I just don't know how other people are gonna receive it. Like she thinks she's being like fabulous or funny when she's just like, come on guys, you don't have a Spitfire.

She was on Watch What Happens last night with Tracy from Million Dollar Listing LA. And it opened, it was brutal. I can't, and you know, there have been a lot of watch what happens lives that are brutal, but this one was just, it was hard to watch. And I'm not even a big Brooks fan, you know, but Andy and Tracy just ganged up on her.

Really? And just like, she didn't even care. Everything, she was like right. She never saw that she did right in anything. She thinks she's hilarious and fabulous. And they're literally groaning at her and just going from way to get at her to way to get at her. It's like over and over. He's like, so, okay, we did a poll. Who do you hate the most on Bravo? Caroline Brooks or Caroline Brooks? Whoa, it's Caroline Brooks. And she's like,

oh, whatever. Everybody knows I'm just hilarious. Everybody knows it. And it just went on and on. And then Tracy told a story and he's like, wow, I saw that Tracy was in the press saying something mean about Caroline. Tracy, why don't you say what you were saying that was mean? And she's like, you know, Andy, I've just, I'm friends with Michael from the show and I'm friends with Caroline Stamberry. And, you know, when she says things like, oh, you know, Caroline Brooks, her whole lifestyle is paid for by Michael.

I just find that to be very tasteful. And Brooks is like, um, well, but he did say that. I mean, look, I was just being funny. I was just, it was just me being funny. It was fun shade. She goes, no, but you said that someone didn't make any money in like their whole lifestyle. She goes, yeah, but Michael did say that.

She goes, yeah, but you repeated it. So I don't know that I'm necessarily on Tracy's side, but then Andy's like cringing and he's like, Oh God, Caroline, Oh God. I mean, the whole thing was just ragging on Caroline Brooks and I kind of felt bad for her, but you can't, she doesn't even let you feel bad for her because she's just so awful. It's like then the next time she opens her mouth, she's like, well, maybe at the reunion, when I bring receipts on Teline, I'll let Teline apologize. And he's like, well, you know, it's a reunion, so you should apologize. She goes, well, here's what I'm going to do. I'm never apologizing to her, but I'll allow her to

apologize to me. It's like, oh my God, how could you get knocked down this entire watch, it happens live and still not be able to take the temperature of the room girl. Come on. No, she was probably wasted. That's be honest. Um, well, I can also see how she doesn't take the temperature of the room because when she says, well, I say things, I know what I'm saying. I just don't know how other people are going to take it. That's her being, that's her basically saying, you know, I have a very, very low emotional IQ. My EQ is really like, it's in the negative numbers at this point. That's just me.

She's like bragging about how she has no perception of how like, or empathy towards other people in a conversation. Yeah, it's super weird and it's really too bad because I have to say, she does have a charm. Like when I was watching her on the show, she handled it like such a pro. I mean, really duck off, water off a duck's back.

Like she did not care. They kept trying with her and she never broke. She just was like, whatever. And laughing like she's the most fabulous person. And she was pretty funny under the circumstances and like she's charming and she's funny. I think she's just got a lot of miserable stuff happening or she's just miserable in some way or whatever, But I don't know. I feel like she could be a real star and like an asset to the Housewives if she would just

stop being such a dick. Well, I mean, she works for it. One thing I always like about Caroline Brooks is that she is trying to make things happen. She's aware she's on a show. She's like, I know my role, I know what I gotta do. But she just, she doesn't really have the finesse it feels like, or she just overdoes it. Like she sort of goes a little too much

into the Gen Shah territory. And she just needs to sort of pull it back a little bit. I think that's a good way to put it in the Gen Shah territory, yeah. But she's not there, she's not fully there. But like, just rein it in a little bit. Like you're almost a great villain, but like let's just like work on it a little.

Let's like get some, let's massage it and then you can get to a great place. I think it's the fakeness of the storylines that she's trying to make. Like, oh, you should be mad at Caroline Stambury because she said she saw your vagina. Oh no. Who cares?

You know, that's not a big deal. And it's like, she's turning against somebody just to be mean, just to do it. Like in this episode, she's just mean and vile, just to be mean and vile. I mean, there's naturally gonna be stuff that comes up that you can get pissy about. You know what I mean?

Like you don't have to make it up. That's what I just don't understand. Like, yeah. She's a little sweaty with it all. As writers say that all the time, like, this is a little sweaty. It's like just working a little too hard. We're seeing a little bit too much like behind the curtain.

Like be just a little bit more authentically yourself. You can still be kind of, you know, you can still stir the pot, et cetera, but like, let's just like rein it in. And like, it doesn't have to always be at this level of stirring the pot every single day. Like, let's, you know, you have to like build up. And I get that we're like maybe going too deep on this, but I just, I have to say something because I just see the seeds, the little seedlings of greatness there. And it's just like, oh,

I just, every time it is like watching sports where I'm like, oh, you're fumbling the ball. Why are you doing this? You could be the quarterback. Yeah. So, um, Chanel introduces everyone to her siblings and, um, they find out Ifra is like, uh, is the older sister and she's 45. And there's like, Lisa's joking about like, you know, Stanbury has to stop, stop trying to find out how old Ifra is. We need to find out what, how old Ayaan is. And then there's just like more like chit chat.

Chanel's asking Sarah about like the guy in Germany, et cetera. And then Chanel gets up on stage, she makes a big speech. She's with Tony, her business partner or fellow designer or whatever. She makes a speech, she calls the skyscraper, the Burj Al Arab into the Burj Khalifa. So it's hilarious.

It's as mobile as ever. And so she's like, we're gonna do this. I'm so proud of myself. And then all the ladies are like, oh, I'm so proud of her. I'm so proud of her. I'm so proud of her. And then it gets to Brooks and she's like, ho ho, Tony Malt put on a beautiful event.

I'm really proud of Tony for what she did for Ion. I loved everything that Tony designed and I'm proud of Ion beauty by Tony malt. You know, I'm sure Brooks would not appreciate it if people were like, we really appreciate, you know, uh, you know, the glass house by Zoran, you know, so like be careful. Uh, truly, if you're in a glass house, don't throw around fake eyelashes. And they brought this up on, um, yeah, don't, don't,

don't throw fake eyelashes around in a bowling alley house. I don't know. So, um, Brooks, they asked her about this later. Like, why are we so evil about, you know, Chanel's event? Like, isn't that cool that she started a business and this and that? She goes, oh, you know, I was just being hilarious. I was just being funny. You know, everybody knows I was just being funny.

I love Tony Mott, you know, I love Tony, so. Yeah, I was being just being funny. So, Lisa- So, they're just like, they're just looking at her like, they're like like, they're just looking at her like, Oh no. So Lisa's telling us, uh, that she was really annoyed with Sarah in the desert, uh,

when they had their desert thing. Um, but, uh, Sarah, but she was like, but you know what Sarah said? She didn't mean what she said. And I would like to take her word for it. I was like, okay, well, thanks for the update. That's nice. So back to the table, Brooks is like, I feel like our friendships are blossoming. I'm really in a good place. Well, not literally a good place because this fashion show sucks. Sorry, I'm just being hilarious.

Anyway, mentally, let's hit the reset button. Let's restart all the friendships again. And let's just start some new fights tomorrow, guys. How about that? Okay? Yeah, so weird when she's not doing that at all, but I guess not weird. So Sarah's like,

well, you know when you restart your friendships, you realize who is really your friend and who is just an acquaintance. Or is it someone you can chill with? Because me and Caroline Stanbury, we're friends, but I don't know if it's really that deep of a friendship. Who do you, name one person you have a deep friendship with,

please. I would love to hear one conversation between, I would love to hear one truly deep conversation with you. Hello, her name is Saba and they talked about Chai. So that's pretty deep. I love Sarah. She's like, you know, you know, sometimes you realize who's a friend,

who's an acquaintance and who's a fuck boy on Instagram that you want to move in and marry so that way he can support you. So she was like, I can't believe that I'm actually invited to Caroline Stamberry's housewarming party, me and Brooks. And then we see a flashback to the party where Caroline invites everybody.

And Brooks is like, well, I'm not 100% certain that I even wanna go to that, but you know, I'm kind of feeling the vibes, but I'm not really sure. The biggest thing that's on my mind is what do I get those girls? I get up, I mean, I will get her a Joe Malone candle, but that's like, that's for someone I like. I'm all right, Joe Malone, you know, you know, I'm saying, you know, anyway, I called anyway, by the way, guys, just want to bring up something. Now that everything's good with Celine, I called Celine a beggar and it hurt her feelings.

And yeah, so that's the thing. I called her a beggar. She's a beggar, by the way, everyone, she's a beggar. Rest of the reset button, she's a beggar. Yeah, I remember that day in August, we had a little bit of a disagreement. Ladies, get this, on my way out, I say, you're a beggar. And that's when she got mad that I called her a beggar because all the way out of August I called her a beggar. What do you

think about everybody? I called her that. A beggar. So Brooke says, you know, and Celine and I had that argument a few weeks ago because I remember the argument that we had, you know, and that's why Celine is like, you stirred the pot, you stirred the pot. Don't you think that's a little bit stirring? The pot. Well, well, while we were walking away from dinner, I called her a beggar, that's all. So Lisa's like, but what did she beg for though?

I'm just confused, just tell me. And Brooks is like hiding behind a napkin. She goes, for a lot. She begged for a lot. Girls, should I tell you what happened in August when I left? I called Talina Begher. She begged me to be in my friends group.

She begged me to come to Sam Bray's birthday probably last year. She was like, please babe, I really wanna be there. And then Lisa's fashion show, she was like, please babe, I really wanna go. I'm like,'s fashion show, she was like, please babe, I really wanna go. I'm like, well, how did you get on this show by the way? And she starts talking about how she was begging to be on TV and begging and begging

and begging and begging and begging. Yeah, so basically that's what this is about. That she, Tilleen was begging her to get on TV and now that she got on TV, she has betrayed Caroline. So she's like, you know, listen, I didn't apologize. I said, I'm sorry that I said she was a beggar. And that wasn't the nicest thing to say, but was it true? Yes, it was true.

Talina's a hot mess. She's a hot mess. You know, I'm the one that's defending Talina. So bad as a little boy that Caroline wouldn't even speak. And then after that, Teline's getting closer to Caroline and Teline is a hot mess. And what's funny because Brooks is like, oh, I'm defending you, Teline, because I brought up to your attention that Caroline said this nasty thing to you and now I'm defending you. And it's kind of like, well, you kind of whipped up the conflict and now you're looking for bonus points for defending, like for defending your friend in the conflict that you created,

you know, you embroiled your friend in the conflict first before you defended her. Well, she's, I think basically she just brought this girl on to fight Caroline Stanbury because she didn't like Caroline. She didn't like Caroline Stanbury kind of being like the queen of the prom or whatever. So she's like, let's get her. And then Talene didn't do it. And that's it. Now she's done with her. She's like, okay,

you can do what I want or I'll ruin your life. Yeah. So now it's another day and we're at the top of some skyscraper where there's an infinity pool looking out on Dubai. It's literally an insane view. This is one of the most insane backdrops. I think we've ever had on a house live show. Everything looks like it's an Instagram story filter, but I believe it was actually the natural lighting. And so they're all at this pool and then,

oh, you know what, I'm sorry, this is the beach part. Sorry, that's to come. That's a sneak preview, everyone. Everyone get excited for that set up, but in a different scene. Instead we have Chanel on a beach pulling a cart. Yeah, this one is basically, this is basically Chanel, like, oh, look at me on the beach,

unable to wear clothes that match the occasion or shoes that can walk on the beach or even a rolly cart that I can bring to the beach. You know, it's like her thing, like, I'm just always unprepared to be in the desert. Talia is like, where is the parachute? There needs to be a parachute attached to the cart. So she's talking about her and her siblings

and how much she loves her siblings. And she's like, I mean, I'm married to Chris, right? He's in my life, but he can go any day. My siblings are forever. I was like, oh, poor Chris. I actually felt bad for him. But it's a cute scene. She basically makes a picnic for her brother and sister.

And she talks about how she really wants to use her platform, her, she wants to use her makeup event and her platform to help victims of female genital mutilation, which she suffered as a child. So she talks about that a little bit and how she's gonna use her powers for good. So then we see the night live and Lisa and her husband are arriving for date

night and we're about to hear how traumatizing carpal is. So get ready. Yeah. Well, first of all, she's like, Oh, it's chilly. And it says 74 degrees. So, um, you know, basically it's Lisa talking about how, you know, like, uh, things have been drifting apart. He's working a lot. They need to make a date night and they're talking and he keeps on being super, super jokey. And she's like, I just, this football is a lot. Like,

you're really pushing these kids to do football and they're doing football all the time. And I'm the one who has to drive them everywhere, and I'm trying to be a real housewife right now, and I'm being late to parties, and I need to show up, and I also have a my own maternity line that I'm doing. So I need some help here." Okay, and he's like, "'Well, don't worry, darling. If you give me advance notice, I will schedule in a single car per moment next week, and then you do the rest.'" And she's like, schedule in a single carpool moment next week, and then you do the rest." And she's like, no, it has to be every week,

not just like one time in the future. Yeah, and on paper, look, it seems like he's saying the right things. He is kind of trying to laugh it off because she is like, football's so hard. Like she's crying and he's trying to laugh it off. And I don't know, I'm not getting the best vibes about this marriage.

It's, I don't think anyone is, I guess that's the point, right, but yeah, it's not looking great for these two. But he does say he will help, so we'll see. And he's like, so. He seems nice. He's like, you know, hopefully that'll help. She goes, yeah, and he goes, well, how about an emotional support, home's bag as well. She goes, yeah. And he goes, well, how about an emotional support home's bag as well?

She goes, now you're speaking my language. It just came out with the 25. Bing, bing, bing. So I guess it's kind of lukewarm, which is typical for Lisa's scene. But I feel bad for her because. That sucks. It sucks.

She's checked out. Yeah, and also like she's trying to like launch her fashion line and now she has to like, she has to all this stuff for basically her husband's ambitions to make the kids soccer stars. Right. So I'm not saying that kids shouldn't do that or whatever, but like she is being pulled in many different directions. And also like this season is, I feel like a little bit of a make itor-break season for Dubai. And I feel like Lisa, like, it's sort of getting in the way of her being able to try to really make a splash because she really hasn't been around.

Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived. We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Zifrin. And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light as women who use the tools available to them to hold on to power. Some women won the game, others lost, but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even

your head. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more to the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black history for real. Now at long last, after much hype by me, we arrive at this rooftop the next day. There was a rooftop pool, this amazing, amazing view. And Chanel is there and Lisa and Talene in Stonbury, everyone shows up. And Lisa talks about the dinner that she had with Rich and all this, yada, yada, yada. And then the girls come and Chanel's talking about how

Lisa wants Chanel all to herself, but as long as Lisa's there, Lisa's okay for Chanel to hang out with the other women. And Lisa's like, oh, all these people jumping on the Stan Wagon, I don't see what the hype is. The only wagons I ride are G. It's like, Oh, I hope you have some time off from soccer so you can like, Oh,

right. Um, so then, uh, Chanel's like, uh, you know, I just need these two to get along cause it's getting annoying with her being like, why are you laughing at her? Why are you friends with her? Yeah. So, um, she talks about the beauty event. Everyone's congratulating her and, um, she was like, Oh, everyone should work hard, but it's so hard. I don't like it. I'm not cut out to work. And Tineleen's like, Oh yeah,

some people are too pretty to work. You might fall in that category, Eddie. Well, I'll tell you when the first check start coming in, that's when you'll suddenly want to work a little bit harder. And Lisa's like, yeah, well, oh, by the way, I had lunch with Caroline and Sarah and we were all saying how overwhelmed we are with work, with kids, with everything and they want to get away. So we decided we're going to go to Bali. And so we see a flashback of their lunch where they say Bali and they're all

excited. And Lisa goes, the theme is eat, pray, party. Okay. So I'm in charge of food. Sarah's in charge of praying boo boring. Right? Am I right? And Brooks is in charge of partying and being a total bitch. And Tilling goes, Oh, so we're going to sleep, which is kind of funny, because I was thinking, what's she going to bring the Benzos? But that's what they're talking about. Chanel's like, oh, well, so we're gonna sleep. Which is kind of funny because I was thinking, what's she gonna bring the Benzos? But that is what they're talking about.

Chanel's like, yeah, you know, sometimes I go out with Brooks and she sleeps. She goes like this with her eyes, oh, and then she falls asleep. Because Benzos, I love that Brooks is like not even trying to hide it. She's just Benzoned out all the time. And Stamber is like, oh God, I can't see myself praying in

Bali with Sarah, partying with Brooks right now. But I do love Bali. So I'm going. How far away is Bali from Dubai? If it's more than 4000 miles, and that's the amount of distance I have between me and Sergio, then I am in. I don't want to be far away from home, but I do want to be far away from Tiki Tiki. Can anybody look that up on a map? For a moment when they said we're going to Bali,

I thought you said bowling, as in Sergio would be bowling while I'm gone. And I said, great, sign me up. So to lean in, like, you know what was shocking? I got an apology from Caroline Brooks, everybody. Isn't that funny? I just wanted to say it again and again, it felt so good. And Lisa's like, well, you know, speaking of that,

I asked her about that because she was saying she didn't do anything. So I said, why would you need to give her an apology if you didn't do anything? And Stamber is like, oh, she never takes any accountability for anything. And she says, well, apparently I called her a beggar, but that's because she is a beggar.

And everyone's like, oh, a beggar. A beggar. So Chanel is like, she's like, what the fuck am I hearing? Like I was not prepared for this. And Tulene's like, well, I guess hell has not frozen over. Stirring the pot, stirring the pot, that's what she does. So Tulene's like, I've never begged her for anything. And she's like, oh, now she's apologizing

but she's calling me a beggar? Oh, I see how she is. And Lisa's like, well, you know, I was expecting her to say what she called me a beggar. And so that's why she had to apologize, but she's acting surprised at being called a beggar. So now I'm being, I'm so confused. Right. So, um, uh, so then, uh, beggar fight, beggar fight. I know I was like, I love this. I was like beggar, a beggar,

but I also, I can imagine beggar for some reason, there's something that feels very old world about calling someone a beggar. You're a beggar, you know? And- You newsy. There's just something like that feels like it's from the old world, the old country where it's like, like they're called a beggar. You know, it's like- You old tin typist. How dare you? You old chimney sweep.

She's a chimney sweep. Let me tell you something. She's a bog person. You old bedpan cleaner. Chambermaid. So now we go to Caroline's new house and she has her event planner. She's like, oh, you have outdone yourself again. I don't think I've done any big event in Dubai without you.

Take a picture for the Instagram because that is your payment. I know. I got married with you. Take a picture for the Instagram because that is your payment. No, I got married with you, my engagement. What comes after this? Sergio's funeral when I bury him for being so annoying or maybe I die first. I mean, how much longer could I possibly live with his voice in my ear? And she's like, well, what about the party when you guys announced that you're having kids? Do you mean the party when I announced that I've sold my eggs? guys announce that you're having kids. Do you mean the party when I announced that I've sold my eggs? Oh, the party when I have kids. Okay, by the way, you're fired. Bye. Go long. Paulette, bring out the net. Haul this woman out of my house. Thank you.

Bring in Amber to plan the selling the embryo party. So Sergio's like, baby, baby, baby, the girls are going to die when they see this. They are going to die. We're talking about having a kids party. He goes, oh, yes, please. It's a boy. It's a boy. Oh, yeah.

I decided it's a boy. All right. All right. So now everyone's getting ready and everything and Sergio did decide, right? Because it's an embryo. Cause remember when he's like, where do we see the boy? Where's the face? Where's the penis?

It's like, it's an embryo, Sergio. Tiki tiki, Sergio, Sergio, you're even annoying me in the remember when this happened. I get out of my flashback, Sergio. God, you're even bothering me in blue screen. So Sergio goes up to Stanbury and he goes, Oh, Caroline, you smell really good. She goes, that's body order, you imbecile.

I think the girls... I forgot to apply my degree as in a degree of sanity today. So that's body order. Now, listen, I think the girls think I've gone loopy and they don't understand why I'm so stressed out. But when they see this house when they see the LED strips that have been taped to the bottom of these cabinets, jaws floor. It's gonna be huge. So then she says, she's like, you know, the

house has finally come together. And it's unlike me and Sergio, let's be honest. And it's looking beautiful. And we've super, are super excited to share it with everyone. It symbolizes my first home with Sergio, my first home, I own in the Middle East, and we're still together for the next, I don't know, maybe three or four months before I call for the divorce. When we're not divorced from this, so we want to celebrate the house and show everyone what we've built. So she's like, well, I had a word with Yasmin and I think the one good thing after that chat is she understands it's a miscommunication

with the two of you. Please don't ever make me have dinner with my daughter again. It's absolutely horrible. You know, they have this thing now called auto choke dip. Do you ever heard of this? Kids love it. I came up with it for our next course. Could you please bring a ball gag? I came up with a great concept called sushi boarding school, which is when your daughter asks you, can we go to sushi?

You say sure. And then you send them to boarding school instead. I'll have the California roll as in roll her off to California please. And he's like, you know, Caroline, you know, I will literally do anything for Yasmin, anything. Like she's my daughter. I explained that to her, but I don't think she could hear me over the sound of her chewing a tuna roll in her mouth. I want you to tell her. I want you to tell her. Honey, I want you to tell her. I'm not trying to be your father, but you have to respect me. Okay? You respect me because I'm

the man of the house. That is why you respect me. I'm the man of the house. I'm going to be the father of your sister or brother or brother, brother and brother, your brothers. Yes, I did tell her that. And then I had to wait two minutes until she stopped laughing. I mean, there isn't a stepparent on the planet that walks into any relationship and the kids go, yay. They don't say living a slang. So she's like, but he hasn't left yet. So I mean, that's, that's a good quality about Sergio.

I mean, I suppose I would prefer him to leave with a trash bag in his hands. That would be nice. Burari. So I just sometimes say that preemptively before he starts complaining about something. So she's like, Listen, I said to her, I said, you're the best stepdad any girl could ask for. And he's like, Yes, but she's like, she's my family, honey. She's my daughter. Right, right, right, right. Okay, well, I love you and thank you for making the effort.

Now go down because everyone's coming. Get out of my face. You have five seconds before you have to clear your way or out of my vicinity. He's like, do I look okay? She's like, you look beautiful. Do you know how, do you know, the only thing that could make you look better

is if you get this. Do you know what I'm about to say? Gone? Yes. Go please. Backwards backwards to the right to the right face away honey this is a corner. Stare at it like the Blair Witch project. We'll bring you appetizers throughout the evening.

Right. We'll bring you appetizers throughout the evening. OK, so she's like, OK, we're doing a seating chart, everyone. The girls are about to come. All right, Sergi and I want to be in the middle. I'll put Chanel next to Lisa because she just has to have her. It's a safety blanket. Some people just need to be enveloped in evil. You understand that, don't you, Sergi?

Like warm blanket honey. And so people start to arrive, Talin brings them custom pillows, one says let's cheeky cheeky, and the other one says home is where the honey is. And then we have a montage of Sergio going, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Shut up Sergio. Like the Stamberry goes, oh, thank you.

You know these aren't going anywhere, right? Hold on one moment. Michael, thank you so much for buying me this house. As a repayment, I've gotten you two pillows. Please take them out of my sight. Thank you. So then Brooks comes in and she's like, I'm burning sage. Isn't that hilarious? I'm

burning sage in the house. I need to sage a house. Sage gets rid of evil spirits. So I'm going to sage the house. Everybody get it. Isn't it hilarious? Look at me burning sage. You get it. Does everybody get it? Yeah. Prop comedy is just not my favorite on the real house on any Bravo show. I just feel like anytime you have to come in with props, it's usually, it's just, it's, it's a bad sign. Unless it's just like a really ridiculous prop. Like I will always accept Countess Luanne showing up with a hula hoop to Bethany's

party to be like, look at me. I'm a fun person. I brought a hula hoop. But like, if you bring a prop to be shady, it's just not quite the same. Yeah. So she's trying and Caroline's annoyed and she's like, oh, she knows exactly what she's doing. She's trying to get a rise out of me and I will not have my first dinner ruined by Brooks. This is a romantic evening, my first dinner will be ruined by Sergio.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Honey, honey, what's happening? Why is she doing that with the smell? I don't want that smell in my house, honey. What is it? I'm scared, honey, I'm scared. Kathleen's like, you need to doing that with the smell? I don't want that smell in my house, honey. What is it? I'm scared, honey. I'm scared. It's like you need to take that.

So Brooks comes over to say hello and you know, compliment the house. And she's like, let me in San Barry. I've had a little bit of a rocker here. So I did a good thing that any good friend would do. And I just want to bless her home with an evil spirit, get a rid of her. And so Brooks introduces her to Raina. And she brought a friend named Raina, who's Caroline's uninvited plus one. And Sam Bray's like- Her name is Rania, and she calls her Rani.

So there's a Rani on this show now, you're welcome. Well, you didn't tell me you were bringing a friend. I didn't even know you were capable of even having one. She was like, oh yeah, she's visiting from Jordan. She was like, well, I told you it was seated with everybody's names on it. It's like, oh really, you wanna cross Jordan? Is that what you want?

You wanna be crossing Jordan? I wouldn't. You ever heard of an actor named Angie Everhart? You ever heard of Jill Hennessey? Cause by the way, she makes a great product and I've had some of it already this evening. Was Jill Hennessey in that? I believe it was Jill Hennessey and not Angie Epahart,

but you know what, though, the question still remains. Have you ever heard of Angie Epahart? It's a good question. Which was the one from Law and Order? Oh, Angie Harmon. Angie Epahart? Angie Harmon, yeah, that's who I thought it was. Important, you know what?

I would love to see all three of them again. Let's get them on a show. Let's cast them. By the way. What? Yeah. Where's that? Oh, I thought you said, you're right. It was Jen. It was Jill Hennessy. You're right. God, never mind. You know what? I'm going to sage myself. You know that Jill Hennessy has an identical twin sister, put that in your pipe and smoke it. Wow. Two praying mantises. Um, so,

but I have to say something before we go any further because, uh, it needs to be mentioned. Did you notice the, the, the deep cut friend of Caroline Dawn? Did you notice her? Who was that? Well, was it Dawn from housewives? Dawn from the real housewives of Cheshire. It was Dawn. That was Dawn Ward and her husband, Ashley. If you don't know who Dawn is.

Oh my. We covered the Real Housewives of Cheshire season one. I don't think we went to the next season. But Dawn was sort of like the, she was like the star of that one. And she had a daughter. Darby, get on your horse, Darby. Oh, mother, I don't have anything

to get on my horse right now. I don't think, oh. horse, Dobby. She had a daughter named Dobby who when Dobby would talk you like all you would hear was the faint whispers. It sounded like this. So what we're doing about the band this week then? Yeah, I think we're just having a meeting. Yeah. Yeah. Or it sounded like this. I'm just, I just love perfection. Like I just talked to you, I just wish, why do you have to tell me instructions? What are you listening? Sorry, the first clip I played was a whatever clip, but this is.

I'm just, I just love perfection. Like I just told you, I just wish, why do you have to tell me instructions? What are you listening? Dammit! Dammit, pay attention! How are you listening? How are you listening? Oh, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Pay attention. Stop it. You're listening.

Stop it. Stop it. You're listening. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. and years and years ago. And like- That was fun. That season was so fucking fun. And those accents, like- Once again with the balaclava. There was that one woman who was talking about a balaclava, it's like- Once again with the friend, the balaclava. I bet I have it somewhere in here.

There's a redheaded lady, who's pet with a bunny. I love bunny rabbits. I love her. Or bunny rabbit. Wait, let's see if I can find the balaclava clip. I think I have it. I found it. How's it coming up with balaclava clip. I think I have it. I found it.

How's it coming up with balaclava that? I have to load it into QuickTime. Here we go. Haven't listened to this in years. You can put a balaclava on, but he's still got a penis. You've not put balaclava on that. And if he's going to use it, he's going to use it. I mean, the whole show is like that. Just these weird things. And then you have that still on it's on like season 27 or something. I think that show is still on the air. They really need to, oh my God, I've got, I found a Magali clip. So another cast member of that show was a woman named Magali.

I don't even know what this Magali clip is. Hopefully it's her tagline. You better not mess with Magali. Magali don't take sides. Magali is Magali. I don't even know what this Magali clip is. Hopefully it's her tagline. You better not mess with Magali. Magali is Magali. Magali is Magali. Magali is Magali. Magali is Magali. And you better not mess with Magali. Her tagline was you mess with Magali. You better not mess with Magali. I love that show. God, what a classic. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. We'll revisit someday. I'm sure. That's funny. Yeah. I'm glad you pointed out that show. God, what a classic. Yeah. Okay. Yes, yes.

We'll revisit someday, I'm sure. That's funny. Yeah, I'm glad you pointed out that was Dawn Ward because I was like, I wonder if that's Dawn Ward because that's the only Dawn I've ever seen on these shows. So it made me think of that. I recognized her, but I recognized her and I knew she was someone, but I didn't know who she was.

And at first I thought she was actually from the third season of Ladies of London. There was that woman who was like a friend of, who was around and I thought it was her. But then when I did some, I just did some searching. I said Dawn, Caroline Stanbury, and boop, came right up. And I was like, oh my God. My God, it's MacGowley.

And it makes total sense that those two are friends, right? Total sense. Total sense. Okay, so then, let's see. So, Stamberry takes the sage out of Brooks's hand and she's like, okay, that was hilarious. Before you set fire, she's like, I gotta take that away from me, I gotta go.

And so, Talene's like, you know what, tonight, I have no intentions of speaking with Brooks because I thought we were good. But then, what does she do? She's calling me a beggar. Now I'm pissed. Now I'm upset. And now I'm in a tailspin at this point.

And that's what's happening. Ah! I'm also on a little bit of a sugar high because I had one of my mom's cookies. Okay, we as a family, we don't know how to make these cookies. Something is very wrong. So Caroline, Lisa comes in in like this bodysuit.

She's, oh my God, you look like a Spice Girl. And then everyone sits down. and sir, by the way, they have this whole seating chart. And then Sergio just moves it. Like he just changes the entire, the seating chart. I don't know if he knows that, but I was like, Caroline spent a lot of time. And if she found out that you moved all the seats around, she will be furious. And so Brooks, she's like, Brooks, you just brought a friend. You can't just bring somebody to the, she's like, yeah, I can't.

She goes, no, we have a seating chart. She goes, well, Lisa's husband did come so we can take a seat. Well, that worked out perfect for me. So then she stands up to give a speech and she's like, okay, ding, ding, ding, everyone. All right, sorry, Sergio, that was Sergio's head. So it doesn't actually make a ding,

but I wanted to hit him on the head with a spoon. Oh, honey. Ow, ow, ow. This is the ding, it's equivalent of a ding tonight. All right. This is the first dinner party I've had in my home. Goes to the trolley. Ow, ow, ow.

Goes to the bell. Does anyone mind if I just have a sick beat while I do this? Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. Honey, honey, honey, honey, ow. Goes the bell. Does it remind if I just have a sick beat while I do this? Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. Honey, honey, honey, honey, stop it. All right. This is the first party I've had in my home and I want to thank my husband, Sergio,

for anchoring the kiddie table. It's a wonderful job you're doing there. I'm sorry you have to sit alone. And you all know I've been so crazy lately. And this home is- I have a few things to say. I want to say some things, honey. Well, let me finish and then you may speak. Don't you know about the rule with children? Speak until spoken to or thwacked with a spoon.

Ow! Boop. That's our version of a boop. I take out a spoon and I hit him on the forehead. And we just keep getting shots of Caroline Brooks drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking. It's like, well, this house is our first home together. And you know what they say, home is where the idiot is. And here he is. So I'd like to thank you for being such a moron, darling. All right, Sergio, you may now do your speech, but I'm going to warn you right now if it involves

you being a teapot and being short and stout, no one wants to hear it. Thank you very much. And he goes, Oh, you can sit down now, honey. And they're like, Ooh, he goes, Oh no, no, no, I got booed. So stay with me, honey. Okay. Here's my speech. There was an itty bitty spider, very itty bitty. He went up a water spout. Have you ever heard this one? Oh my God. Dunkin rain. Guess what happened? He watched a spider out,out. Have you ever heard this one? Oh my God, Duncan rain. Guess what happened? He watched a spider out honey. It watched a spider out. Sergio, please stop doing a spider pantomime on my arm.

I am not a water spout, nor am I amused. Ow! Ow, ow! I should have told her to put the spoon down. So then Berk tells us, well, excuse me. Well, let me tell everyone to something. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry.

Before that, actually, Chanel, Sergio, Chanel says, oh yeah, well, you know what? She paid for the house, Sergio. Ha ha, you better be nice to her. And then she goes, what did you say? And then Lisa goes, she said it's Valentine's Day, so be nice, something like that. It was like very sitcom-y.

Yeah. But this segues into Brooks basically saying, well, when Michael drinks a little too much, really Brooks it up. Michael talks and he says, apparently he pays the mortgage, the clothing, utility and everything, yeah. So then I love Brooks shaming someone for having everything paid for by somebody else.

So then Chanel's like, oh yes, Michael pays for all of Caroline Stamberry's bills. And you know why? When he's drunk, he tells you. Like, oh no, I love sloppy Michael just being like, oh really? This bitch is still in my house. I pay for everything. I pay for her whole lifestyle. She can't even respect me enough to keep her dog off my hernés blanket. I mean, that's the greatest, you know, grift you can imagine.

All right, Michael, I'm going to move into your house with my extremely annoying husband, and you'll have to endure him until you actually buy me a new house to get rid of me and Sergio. So Sergio's toast is like, I just want to say, honey, I am so proud of you. I'm so proud of us. And I'm also so proud of toast. God, I love toast. And when you said, I want to give toast, I said, I want to make toast too, because I love toast. Toast is delicious.

Right, honey? Honey, you are like a star, a little star that twinkles. You are a twinkle twinkle little star. How I wonder where you are. Sergio, I'm right here and this has to cease at this moment. So then Lisa's like, well, where's the baby room? She was upstairs, I'm sleeping in it with the baby himself, I'd like to add.

He wants a baby, you know, I find that disgusting. So I've found a woodchipper online, I bought it and I've called it the baby crib. So that's been fun. I'm 47 this year and I don't have the patience to have a baby. I barely have the patience for you, Sergio. Hold on one moment. There you go.

That felt nice, didn't it? Oh, now they start now. Ow, ow. So now they start bringing up Bali again. And Brooks is talking about how her assignment is party, she's going to sell party, and Lisa's like, you know, I'm food, so I'm all lobster and caviar. And Talene's like, oh, God, no one's talking about the praying, Sarah. Everyone's talking about the eating and the parting, but not the praying part. Sarah, we don't want to pray. I mean, who the fuck wants to go on holiday and pray? She goes, Sarah's like, but Lisa, I get why some people don't want to pray because they need an exorcism, you know, and it was like exorcism, Sarah. Boo.

So she's like, Sarah, that is some big fuck balls. You got to say what you're thinking needs an exorcism. Who do you think needs an exorcism? I think it was pretty obvious she was saying Caroline needs an exorcism. Sarah goes, you know, they say your light bothers the ones that are in the dark. Yeah, because it's a fucking movie theater and you're checking your phone in my face

and I paid for this movie. Fucking Sarah. You know that she's that type. Yeah, Sarah, have you ever been woken up in the middle of the night with someone turning the lights on? Are you like, oh, thank God? No, you're like, turn the fucking light off. Yeah, guess who wants light when it's dark?

Nobody. Okay, we're trying to sleep, Sarah. So, Roppy is talking about how Talene and Stamberg are getting into trouble together and everything. And there's just some general chit chat going on. And Brooks is the way the seating arrangement is, is that Brooks is at the end of the table and then Sarah's next to her and then Talina is next to her. So Brooks is like drunk and rambling off the side. She's like,

she's crossed the wrong person, the wrong person right now. She's angry. I don't know if she's angry at Talina or at Samberg or something, but she's drunk and rambling on the corner. She's just trying to start something, right? So she's being as loud as she can. She's like talking to the girls, but like looking back at Teline and then talking to the girls so she'll hear her. And Teline's like,

so what we were talking about the other night, Caroline, and Stamberg is like, oh, I was two sheets to the wind the other night. And then we see their cell phone footage of parting together and falling in bushes and stuff. And Brooks is like, I love to lean. And she used me to become friends with my girlfriend. So for me, it's really difficult.

Cause when are we going from here? Where are we supposed to go when there's an Instagram video of her parting with my enemies? And Sam Bray's laughing like, I don't even know how we got through that dinner. It was so fun. It was so the opposite of Sergio and Brooks is on the corner going to fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.

And so of course here's this and she's like, sorry, Caroline fake. What does that mean? What does that even mean? Caroline just I'm not talking to you. She says, but you said something. She's like, I'm not talking to you. I'm not talking to you. I was.

And then she turns to Sarah. She goes, I will throw talking to you. I'm not talking to you. I was. And then she turns to Sarah. She goes, I will throw my drink in her ugly face. Numjah, the cat even booze. Numjah. Wow. Numjah. Ugly and numjah. Wow. So then Lisa, Lisa summoned Sarah to go to the other side of the table because Lisa was like, Oh, there's gonna be a fight. Let me help this along.

So she summons Sarah. So now Brooks is sitting there and there's an empty seat. And then it's Talene. And they're like, Brooks, Brooks, Brooks, move down, move down. Sit right next to Talene. And I'm like, OK. Stambury sees this happening. She's like, oh my god, they're going to ruin my party.

Sergio, play some music. Mbap, mbap, mbap. No, Sergio, don't sing it. Please, not some music. Mbap, mbap, mbap. No, Sergio, don't sing it. Please, not that song. No, I was just trying to explain what it's like living with you with that spoon. Mbap, mbap, oh honey bap. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, baby, oh. Oh my god, Sergio, nevermind. Siri, play something that Sergio won't like.

Play something without the word baby in it. So the tension is getting higher and Talene turns to Stanbury and she's like, you know what, Brooks is the quintessential gaslighter, passive aggressive. This woman called me a beggar and I'm not bringing it up, even though I literally am bringing it up right now. But she called me a beggar and I'm not one thing I'm not going to do is mention at this table that she called me a beggar. Even though she did actually in fact call me a beggar and if anyone want if anyone did not hear it I will emphasize Brooks called me a beggar but I'm not going to bring it up. So she's kind of talking privately to Stambury while Brooks is like making a big

show of talking to the other ladies and trying to start this fight. Right. So Chanel's like, honestly, let's be real. I don't blame Brooks for being mad at Talene for what Talene did. You don't? Brooks is a total asshole. Talene didn't do anything except forgive Caroline for talking about her vagina supposedly for five minutes. Give me a break. Yeah. But Chanel's like, you know, that, Celine joined our group and Brooks was there for her and Celine switched on Brooks faster than a fucking wind

and sandstorm in Dubai, which is called a haboob, by the way. So, Stamber is like, okay, well, you and Raphael are becoming like family and I absolutely love you. And Celine's like, I can't wait to naked cannonball in your pool. Not tonight, but it will happen. She goes, oh, please not tonight. It will scare Sergio. So they're basically talking about this and Brooks is like, well,

he was like, she's mad at me. She's mad at me because she said, who are you talking to? Did you say fake? And I was saying, well, I didn't say fake to you. I was talking to you. And Lisa's like, ha, she said she wasn't saying fake to you, did you say fake? And I was saying, well, I didn't say fake to you. I was talking to you. And Lisa's like, ha ha. She said she wasn't saying fake to you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And they're, they're just continuing to talk. And Brooks is like, you know, if I want to address to lean, I'm going to address to lean. And he's like, so you said it. So you said it to the air. You just set it to the air because Brooks is Brooks is insisting that she did not say fake to to lean. She was talking about something else. So he's like, Oh, so you just, you set it to the air.

You just set it out to the, to the, to the sky. So now, I mean, this is just ridiculous. And Brooks is her own worst enemy because all you're doing is kind of making to lean iconic right now because she's not afraid of you. And you're about to give her her biggest scene this year on in her first year. You're like about to make her go through the roof. Idiot. So now they're talking about beggar and Lisa's like, well, you know, what was she begging for? And Brooks, and she said, Brooks said it was everything. And Raffi goes, you better correct yourself. You better correct yourself. And Teline's like, yeah, shame on you, Caroline. And Brooks goes, you might want to drop your drink, Teline. And Teline's like, you're not the heart. Don't throw a worm when you live in a tequila bottle house. There you go. So then Teline and Rafi,

like they leave the table and they go sort of like around the corner of the house and like, and then Brooks goes and follows and she goes, Talene stop drinking. You're slurring. You're slurring. You're slurring. And then Rafi's like, well, you know what? You do that a lot of the time. And she's like, and Talene's like, well, it's amazing that you can even keep your eyes open right now. And Brooks is like, what do you want to do? What do you want to do here, Rafi? What are you trying to do? So she starts getting in Raffi's face, and Raffi's like, you're not gonna throw my wife

under the bus, and he's like trying to be, he's trying to be nice, he's like, I don't want to be in the middle, but I want to be in the middle, I want to defend my wife, da da da da da, and you know, it's just, there's no good way for him to sort of be in this situation right now. I think he was maybe diplomatic in his first line

when he was like, yeah, Caroline, but now he's like, what the, what are you, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh was like, yeah, Caroline, but now he's like, what the, what are you going? Now it's like yelling at a woman at a party, which listen, I get that Brooks is bad, but Roth, bad look for Roth. I felt like he held up on the yelling for a moment. I felt like he was just like, no, like, hey, no, no. And I had that sort of tone of like, no, no, no, no, no. And then finally he's like, stop it, you know? Because when he, I mean, ultimately he's like, you've got a mouth on you, which tone of like, no, no, no, no, no. And then finally he's like, stop it. You know? Um, cause when he, I mean, ultimately he's like,

you've got a mouth on you, which he was like, it was like, Ooh, he like really got like that. But you know, honestly she was really coming for to lean and she's really coming again and again. And like what he needed to say was like, when she was like, what are you trying to do? What are you trying to do? He should have said, I'm just trying to deescalate the situation. I don't know why he didn't say that. Cause that's really what he was trying to do and what he

should have said. But instead he got he got spun up right into it. Yeah, he's not deescalating shit. That's for sure. Because he gets he's he's a housewife. He's one of the husbands that is just a housewife and will get into fights with housewives. It's just, you know, we've seen it before. You're not the first Roth. But you are just as gross. You shouldn't do that. No, bad. It's always, you're never going to look good in that situation. So Brooks is like, Oh, is your husband challenging me? And she goes, he's fucking sticking up for me, flipping her hair around. And she goes, where's your husband? John, that was good. And then Lisa comes to take Brooke away and Sergio's loving it. He's like, Oh my God, honey, are you hearing this? It's

amazing. And Sergio's loving it. He's like, oh my God, honey, are you hearing this? It's amazing. Come over here. Honey, bring the phone. Bring the phone. Do not get involved. Bring me the tiki pillow.

I want them to sign it. Stay, stay. This is iconic. Roll over, roll over paw. Give me the paw. Give me your paw. Stay, halt, heel, heel. Wait, Sergio has a speech to give.

No, I was just hit on the head with a spoon again. It's okay. So Stamper is like, Oh my god, they're right by my B&B, Italian white sofa. Okay, that cost $50,000. You don't understand how expensive that surface that surface like a mortgage like that sofa is art. You don't sit on it. My dog sits on it on his MS blanket, but not even Sergio's allowed to sit on it. And he's honestly lower than the dog.

And Sergio still listening to the fight. And he's like, Oh my god, she because now the's still listening to the fight and he's like, Oh my God, she... Because now the fight has moved to the street and they're screaming at each other in the street. And Sergio's like, Oh, she's a fucking asshole. Baby, honey, honey, I don't want Caroline Brooks in my house, honey. No, no. She's like, sit down, Sergio, sit down, sit, sit, sit,

Sergio, sit down right this instant. And finally she was like, OK, party's over, everyone get the fuck out of my house, don't touch the sofa, everyone out, I love you, but everyone out. And so Sara's like, well, in this group, I'm not shocked that these things happen, but do these things happen in Dubai? Never.

You can go to jail for screaming in the street. But what's really embarrassing is that they're doing this at someone's house in their housewarming party in front of their friends. I mean, it was really kind of a try hard housewives scene. I mean, at one part, all the guests are just watching them and smiling. All the gays are like, oh, it's amazing. There's a housewives party at the housewives party.

And Lisa in her ridiculous fucking outfit, I mean, her outfit was insane. She had like two pigtails or something. And they were all like standing in a line facing out towards their audience of the gaze at the table. It was like, I'm like, Housewives Dinner Theater and I loved it. I was like, the show's trying so hard

and I just love trying. I love it. Don's calling up Darby. She's like, Darby, I have to tell you about this party I saw in Dubai. Everything went to shit. Darby, I can listen to my story. I've got to tell you about this party I saw in Dubai. Everything went to shit. Darby, are you listening to my story?

I've got to tell you about what's happening over there. Darby, are you listening? Say something, speak up, Darby. But anyway, now the producers are just running back and forth. We see cameras just running all over the house, trying to catch all of this. And Brooks and Talene are yelling at each other and Brooks is like, you fucking beggar ass bitch. I got all your messages. You're a beggar. And someone goes, oh, please, you're the beggar. You wore my wardrobe all last season, bitch.

Which I like that as a sick burn. I was also like, but I definitely was like, you know, one thing that I've definitely heard about Dubai is you're not allowed to scream on the streets like that. I was like, this is kind of a high stakes fight at this moment. I was like, this could really, Sarah said, Sarah's like, they could go to jail for this. You guys stop. You're not only fighting, you're cursing in the street on public. Like you could like hush, hush, hush. So, uh, we're going to see how this, the producers all look panicked.

The producers are like, fuck, we're gonna get shut down. We're all gonna get thrown in jail right now. They're just trying to separate everyone out. So we'll see how this all pans out. But like, congrats on your first true, big, loud Real Housewives fight, Dubai. Took a while to get there, but you finally did it. Yeah, Talene.

Talene was good casting. And Brooks really brought somebody on the show who's not going to take her shit. So that's one smart thing she did, that's for sure. Yeah. Well, everyone, thank you so much for being here. We appreciate you. We'll be back with some real Housewives of Orange County later this week. Don't forget to listen to our Love Island updates over on Patreon and we'll catch you in the next episode. Bye, everyone. Bye. And we'll catch you in the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye! She don't miss no trickle-us. She's never scary. It's the green fairy Jamie. She has no less name-y

Hava Nagila Webber Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan Kristen the piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino We want to hang with Liz Lang No! We wanna hang with Liz Lang! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD!

We're takin' the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish! She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch! She's a little bit loony, Junie!

My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo! We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley! Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender! The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters! Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell pour Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shining out of a cannon, Anthony.

Let's take off with Tamela Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.