Watch What Crappens - #2496 Below Deck Med (S09E08): Burned After Reading

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

On Below Deck Mediterranean, Bri uses a notebook to keep track of vital laundry hacks like “Don’t mix colors and whites” or “Don’t put cashmere in the dryer” or “Don’t stick a fork in an electrical outlet.”  But is it a burn book too? To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkert and joining me today as usual is my wonderful and hilarious co-host, the most wonderful man to ever grace this very stream yard room, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Oh, well, aren't you a little sweet tart? Hi. How are you doing today, Ronnie?

I'm good. We just got off the phone with Ryan Bailey from the Betches Network, the fantastic Ryan Bailey. That was really fun to talk to him. So that'll be out later this week. So I'm good. I'm just on my Bailey high baby. I'm a Bailey. We love a Bailey high. He always, he always is such a kind interviewer to us.

I always like leave his podcast feeling like the biggest star in the world. Cause he, he, he really amps us up and it's really kind of him to do that. So yeah, go check them out. Today we are talking below deck med. Very excited to talk about it. I don't know if there's anything beyond that that needs to be broached. Love Island's over. So that was fun. Go if you want to listen to our recaps that check them out on Patreon. But let's dive into some below deck Ronnie, shall we? Let's do urban. Okay, so the fires are coming, guys. The fires are coming. They're coming towards the boat.

They're coming towards the boat. And they're departing the dock. So Sandy's like, okay, tell me when the stern is cleared to maneuver to the port. Tell me when the stern is clear. And Nathan's like, we've got to wait until they're passing over our bow. Oh, we're all going to die. What are we going to do? And the whale comes out of the water and eats Asia. And then Ellie dresses as a bunny rabbit and starts machine gunning at the fire

out the top. It's a very, very dramatic moment. It's very dramatic. And by the way, fuck that wee tender. Okay. So this boat is basically boxed in between a regular size yacht and this enormous yacht that is owned by Arthur blank, who is, I looked it up, the founder of Home Depot, and also the owner of the Falcons. And so then you've got this you got these, I don't know why brought that up, but just just to show the amount of wealth, the amount of wealth that is blocking our yacht from getting away from the dock from the smoke and fire. So Sandy has to like maneuver from these super expensive, famous people yachts. And then all of a sudden, on top of everything else going wrong, a wee tender has to come in. What

the fuck are you doing there tender? Why are you riding your little boat around when a yacht is clearly trying to maneuver? I was so mad when they showed that little tender there. It's like the last thing that anyone needed in that moment. It's very bike lane of that tender. Yes. It's like very bike lane. Do you remember in LA, this has always triggered me, but I remember years ago, there was a sign that said a billboard that went up all over town

that said every lane is a bike lane and the bikes would just start riding in normal lanes in the middle of the lane and never move. And if you tried to get around them, they would like try and kick your car and flip you off. I mean, it got fucking crazy. And I feel like that that's, he must've seen that billboard this Tinder. It's like, guess what? I'm gonna just be right here. Cause I can.

I'm gonna be right here cause I can. Guess what? I'm a bike and so I demand equal respect on the roads. However, I own will pay attention to half of the traffic laws. That's what this WeTender was doing at that moment. Yeah, the Tinder wasn't having it. However, I own will pay attention to half of the traffic laws. That's what this we tender was doing at that moment. Yeah, the tender wasn't having it.

So Nathan's like, Hey, Captain, just so you're aware, you've got a small rib off our bow about 150 meters away. And she's like, Okay, God, I love ribs. Who doesn't love a rib? All right, let's go towards the rib. Okay. Is it a small rib? Or is it a wee rib? I just need

to know. I need to get a real sense of the size of it. That rib's about to get smoked, I'll tell you that much. Okay, let me know when my stern is clear at the ground lines, ba-ba-boo-wee." And he's like, two meters, two meters. And then we see a screenshot that says like four meters. And I was like, oh no, is he going to crash the boat? Because she just gave him all the responsibility of counting. And are they like highlighting that he's fucking crash the boat? Because she just gave him all the responsibility of counting. And are they like highlighting that he's fucking up to counting? I didn't know, but I was so worried for him because he has a monk hair and I love monks. And so she's like, I'm thrust into the starboard. And Ian's like, I'm all cleared, all on the stern.

Let me tell you what is clear. Ellie's beauty, Ellie's beauty, clear to pass. She wants beauty coming through. So many yachts, a wheat tender, forest fires, they're never gonna get out of this corner. They are stuck. This boat is gonna be stuck there forever. They're gonna perish in the in the in the blizzard, the blazing hot inferno that's coming down from the aircraft. And everything's fine. Everything's fine. They got it. Oh, we're doing great. Great job, everybody. Great job, everyone. Good job. So Joe's like the fact that Captain Sandy did take me off the bar, you know, I'm upset. Should Nathan be laid back on paper? Yes. But fake it before you make it, you know,

so I've got to prove myself and to Captain Sandy that I'm a trustworthy guy. When it comes to the boat, stop smiling like that. No one can trust you when you smile like that. You smile like a crazy person. He's smiling like he's saying, do I have any parsley in my teeth? He's like, No time to prove to yourself and the captain that you're a trustworthy guy when it comes to the boat. It's when you are in a position of responsibility. That's when you should do it. Don't do it after you have flunked out of your job because you are constantly messing up, okay?

So- Fake it till you make it refers to like, I don't know, auditioning. You know what I mean? Stage fright or like, you know, just keep typing as fast as you quickly can even though you can't really and eventually your fingers will get used to it.

Something like that. Not safety things. Yes. No one wants it. No one's going to be like, Hey, you want to be an airline pilot? Well, I'll fake it till I make it. No, please don't. Yeah, exactly. It's really just about like have that spirit have that intrepid spirit, you know. So also fake it. It's also fake it till you make it not fake it after you failed at it. Okay. So Asia is coming down the staircase. I'm going to wet my pants. Lots of urine in my bladder,

but I don't have time to go to the toilet. So things you love to hear also on a luxury yacht from the people who are handing you food. Yeah. So then we catch a Brie in the laundry and she's like, I've been writing things down in the laundry because obviously it goes to show that my memory isn't good. Like, did I do this? Did Ellie do this? So I'll write it down in a book because the last thing I do, the last thing I want to do is mess something up.

And then they show, they show her writing this book and we see inside her notebook and she is writing in this like gigantic kindergartner scroll, like, like it's a, it's a, it's a lined notebook and all of her letters are taking like three lines. Like remember when you're learning how to write and you have like upstairs and downstairs in the main floor when you're writing your letters and she's still writing like that. And I'm like, how is this going to be an effective notebook of like how you are keeping track of what's coming into this laundry room? You're basically just like scrawling freeform notes on like page after page after page. You're just going to get lost in your pages instead of in the laundry,

but you'll be lost no matter what. I give it an F. The writing I write like a child's, like I'm, it's embarrassing. So I can't really make fun of her writing. I will say that it's extremely intelligent of her to keep this book. And it becomes a big plot point. Like, is this a burn book? What is she trying to do here? Who's she trying to screw over? Basically, she's saying, I'm dumb, but I'm not as dumb as they're making me out to be. And this lady, this lady in the bunny suit is trying to get me fired over shit that she's doing. So the fact that she's writing it down and there's cameras to kind of back her up if she goes back is actually very smart if that's what Ellie is doing.

And if Ellie is doing that, I love this is going to be one of the best seasons ever. If Ellie is literally purposely messing up laundry and then blaming it on Brie and trying to get her fired, this will be one of my favorite all time seasons because that's amazing. Yeah, laundry has been a disaster. I unfortunately don't think that Bri is thinking on that level. I think she's just writing everything down to make herself feel like she's being more productive, but she's not actually applying any lessons from writing things down. Because I feel I don't know what the method would be. But I feel like you make a chart. You know

what? I'm not going to go this well, she said, you know, my brain's gonna go into this. I'm gonna go down this path of like, starting to Ben Splane how you make a chart. You know what? I'm not going to go this. Well, she said, you know, my brain's going to go into this. I'm going to go down this path of like, starting to Ben Splane how you make a chart for how to do your laundry. And I'm just going to not do it. I'm not going to do it. Well, she said last week, she said, I'm not the only one in the laundry. Like, I'm getting in trouble for everything, but I'm not the only one in there. So then she started keeping a list. And now she's saying, well, am I doing this wrong? Is she doing this wrong? I just need to keep a list to make sure I'm not messing anything up. So I think that she suspects and she's just being very careful

not to accuse Ellie yet, but my fingers are crossed on this one. But also like if it is a burn book, don't leave your burn book open in the place where the person you're burning is standing. Like, like that's just the sixth, like a burn book is like Ellie's a fugly slut. You know what I mean? It's not, it's not someone put the laundry in at 11 56 AM. This is not a burn book. And I think it's slander to even call it a burn book by the cast. I think it should be called an, a book of evidence. That's what it is. I mean, this, this is like true crime on the high seas. This girl is keeping evidence. She's logging evidence.

Well, you know, we'll see how this all turns out, but either way, I think we can agree this laundry is a disaster. And the fact that we are now on episode eight, and there are still issues with the laundry. And I thought like, okay, the laundry issues are now like that storyline has come to a close. She finally realized she's going to get a notebook or she's going to log everything that comes in and out of that room and she'll know what's in what machine. Nope. The laundry issues just continue to happen all episode long. It's wild. Yeah. So then Nathan and Gail are having their flirt moment and he's saying that he feels so bad for Joe because Sandy kicked him off the bow, you know, and he's like, but I'd love to help him. We bet and we can, we work as a team and he can learn

on the job. But you know, he's been thrown off the bow and I know it hurts his feelings and like his ego, you know, and, you know, that's nice of him to feel bad. And it's nice. And literally, I don't think anyone in the audience cares. And it was like, we don't care who's on the bow or who's starboard or who is like picking their nose right now. We just want to think anyone in the audience cares. Everyone's like, we don't care who's on the bow or who's starboard or who is picking their nose right now. We just want to get back to the logic drama. So then Gail is like, well, but you guys have a cute little bond going.

And she's like, no, we definitely don't. We definitely don't. Me and you. You and me? I call you my mate. Okay, that's pushing it. Pushing it. I'm going to please their basic flirting. Please stop. It's like the IKEA. It's like the $20 IKEA shelf of flirting is just like the most

basic always on sale in the warehouse section of IKEA flirting. I can't just save it for when you get drunk at night and make out. This on charter flirting is not working for you guys. Yeah. So now we're dropping the anchor. Hey, guess what? Guess what just happened? We dropped the anchor. Guess what we need? Ian's like, to take a picture of Ellie so it lasts longer. To put the water toys in the water. That's what we need. Get the water toys in the water. Got it. I'm going to put the champagne glasses in the water. No, the water toys, not the champagne glasses. Did this guy even listen to me? I don't think so. So they're all just checking in on laundry, make sure everything's okay. And Sandy

is radioing Breeze. Hey, hey, Bree Bree Sandy Bree Bree Sandy. Can you pop back into my cabin? I don't know what happened to those to those to these clothes right here But those are supposed to be white pants and they must have been washed with darks or something because last time I checked These pants are these pants these pants are as white as Norma's dating life is fruitful, okay? Which is not very much, okay? Give it another shot. These are about as white as Norma's teeth after a trip to the Starbucks. Okay. Gosh, she opened her mouth one time and they said,

who's smiling back at me, a bowl of cornflakes? Every single barista said that. It was the the craziest thing all in unison. So Brie walks away and she's just like, Jesus Christ. All right, Brie, remember, even with color catches, you shouldn't be putting lights and darks together? They should always be separated. Are you separating them? And she goes, yeah. Promise me. Promise me you're separating the lights and the dark. I promise. Like show me the notebook. Why don't we have a close up of the notebook? I need a close up of the notebooks saying I separated the colors and the lights. Let's see if they stay that way. Okay, if I remember. All right. So, separate the color, the color, separate the whites from the darks. Is bright red considered to be dark? It is called bright red. So if it's bright red, it should be not a dark. So I'm going to put the whites with the bright reds.

Yes, that should work. So Aisha's like, well, it started badly and then we had one good charter with Brett and ever since then it's been downhill. Oh god, Liz, I'm not sure what to do, but I've got to figure out how to change this. I'm going to sit her right down and I'm going to hog her so hard and tell her she's the best girl in school and put a gold star on her forehead and slip five dollars into the back pocket of her jeans so she can say, you put this there. The good person, Fairy Didge, you're a good person, never change a thing. I'm gonna say to Brie, Brie you're amazing and she'll know that that was a scolding because normally I would say, pre you're amazing. So Bree's like, um, uh, bro.

Okay. So Bree goes down to the laundry. Ellie's already in the laundry. And so she's like, I've got some washing going. Sorry. I've got some washing going there. She's like, I'm just doing my job if that is okay with you. So please, please stop chasing me out because we don't have anything to do upstairs.

Please just let me have this. What? She's losing her mind. She hates Breeze so much. She's so bothered by Breeze at all moments. Brie is just like, hey, I got this. Don't worry. You don't have to do this. No, this is what I shall do because I shall someday be Chiefs 2 and I need to have these important moments in laundry room. Otherwise, I shall never be Chiefs 2. Why are you trying to destroy my career as Chiefs 2 of all the other universe? Everything I had to overcome to do that lot of laundry. Let me tell you. So Bree's like, I think she wants me off the boat. I don't know. But I feel like I'm always in a mess. Like, I definitely organize laundry, but in messy piles. So I know where everything is. At the end of the

day, you got nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of the poor. But when Ellie comes in, I feel like she messes up my messy piles. Don't don't the accusation, the accusation. There it is. So Brie leaves and she's just like eating a grape in the crew mess. And Ellie is just doing the laundry and she peeks over and sees Bree's notebook wide open. And she looks and she reads the she sees it and we see it highlight highlight that the notebook says something like 1135 am color catchers put in when they didn't need to be or that a list of errors.

writing a list of laundry crimes about mistakes she's found in laundry. I mean laundry crimes. Dun dun. Law and order in the criminal justice system. They are tools. They are tools. Separate but equal colors. Darks and lights. It is the job of the stordesses to figure out who has perpetrated the crimes. Do do do do do do do.

So she says, I feel like she just finding her own mistakes and then blaming them on me. And what the fuck is going on right here? So Sandy's radio Joe, Joe, please come to the bridge. Do me a favor, Joe, Joe, are you in trouble? Joe, you might get fired right now. Joe, come to the firing bridge. I mean, just the bridge where I watch wind. Come on, Joe. Come on, Joe." So, Joe's like, oh, Jesus Christ, I'm going to get killed! I'm fired! This is it for me! Next time my finger's in a butthole, it's going to be at a Holiday Inn! So, he comes up and she's like, Joe, do me a favor, Joe. This is our boat, and that's our radar. You get to watch it while I go make myself my own nickname, a Sandy. Okay? You got it? You able to drive the boat? He's like,

I'm a big boy now, mama. Okay, Joe. Hey, by the way, here's a lollipop. And I think you got something in your ear. Oh, it's a nickel. You get to keep that too. Okay, I'm going to make my me right now. So, he's like, oh my God, she trusts me. She trusts me. Thank you, Captain. Thank you. And she's like, I support Joe, you know. I'm not demoting him from Lee DeKant. He just needs more experience. It's not that he doesn't know how to do it. He just doesn't know how to do it for such an attractive person in white Capri pants. So, instead of him being on the bow pulling up ropes, which would be a normally really easy thing to do, because all you do is pull up a rope. Okay, you just pull. Okay. I decided

to let him take the wheel and that way he can drive the boat and make sure that while it's out here in the sea of nothing, it doesn't crash into the nothing that's all around it. Okay, Joe, good luck. You know, I like putting people at the bottom and then building that confidence until they're big, strong superheroes like that guy with parsley in his teeth. Joe, close your mouth.

You're making the boat nervous. Well there, Miss Joe. You don't have anything in your teeth. Well, you know, anything more like this, you need. I'm more than willing. Okay, yeah, this is about the best you're gonna get. Okay, I'm gonna go downstairs, look for some mayo. So she's like, Oh, she still gave me responsibility after everything that's gone down. Like she's trust got trust in me. It just makes me feel at ease. Give me more time at the wheel cap.

You got parsley, Joey. Okay, listen, it's okay. Just look in the rear view mirror there and just, okay, now open up your teeth and just put that parsley right out. Okay, thanks. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. My name is Georgia King and I am thrilled to be the host of and away we go a brand new travel podcast on Wondry+, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink and listen to will all be up to my very special guests. We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip around Disneyland.

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including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black History for Real. So now it's very difficult because there's rocks, so they can't pull all the way up, or the rocks. And she goes, but you know, I've got confidence in the team, so this should be a smooth operator. Okay, smooth operator. So then Ellie and Jono are talking and they're talking about sandwiches or some, I don't know, his food. So anyway, who cares? So then Jono's like, I love Greek food, but I don't have much experience cooking Greek food. So

my mind's going directly to my best friend Penelope, who's from Athens and her grandma's a master chef. And then we see a flashback of her calling Penelope. It's a fascinating journey for John. It's a fast. Yeah, we learned that he has to use fresh spinach and not onions, but leeks and make sure the feta is really good quality, which is, I'm glad she said that because it would have been really bad if he used his shitty expired feta instead. So then meanwhile, Bri calls her friend in her room, she's like, Hey, I just need a friend to talk to

and the friends like, Oh, how's it going with the second still just, well, I'm just trying to ignore it. Like this morning, she snapped at me and she was in laundry and you know, she was just being awful. I mean, all I did was, you know, put some bright green clothing in with the captain's white pants and suddenly I'm like the worst person in the world. I don't get it. Quite frankly. This conversation was so funny to me because they made it sound like the friend is like, gets this call all the time. It's like, hello, hello friend, just need a friend.

She's like, okay, I've got to let you go now. It's like, please, how many times do I have to call and listen to your petty laundry drama, or you get to call me and talk about your petty laundry drama. Please stop calling me, okay, please. So now the boat is approaching the dock in Hydra. I thought it was Hydra,

but they kept on calling it Hydra last night. So I stand corrected. And they're approaching this rocky, rocky pier. By the way, can you make a better pier? Like, could you not have like the dock be just like in the middle of these huge rocks? Could you just like build it out a few like meters, you know, so we can get to the boat?

Just a small complaint on my end as someone watching. So they're approaching and Sandy's like, okay, Ian, can you test your heaving lines? It's time to toss those heaving lines. He's like, yeah, Captain Sandy, there's no one to toss the heaving lines to. So no one, no one, no, I don't see anybody here. We're just going to have to wait. Maybe never docket ever told. There's just no one here to accept our heaving lines, unfortunately.

And Gale's like, um, Ian, Ian, yeah, there is someone to throw them to. There's no one to throw even lines to. Oh my God. Geez, it's like poor, poor Norma to dance heaving, you know, no one will throw her a line. Bless her heart. Poor Norma. Everybody nod your heads for a moment for Norma.

Now I know how Norma feels just throwing those ropes out there and no one's willing to catch him. Romantically, of course. All right. Listen, everybody, stop thinking of Norma flashbacks and throw out a Norma line. Okay, a heaving line. What's my line anyway? I think when it comes to Norma's dates, it's no thanks as in don't want to go on one. Okay, anyway, where are the people to catch these lines anyway? And meanwhile, there's like two guys standing there and Ian's like, no, don't see anyone. There's no one at this. We're just going to don't see anyone to throw the ropes to. So he's like, okay, Captain, pack up a few more meat toss. And she's like, there's rocks in the water. I don't want to hit the rocks. Jesus Christ. I mean, what am I,

I'm sorry to keep make take taking Norma back to prom, but geez, talk about hitting the rocks. God, I've never seen anything like that. So, uh, Sandy's like, you know, sometimes Ian doesn't look before he speaks. It's kind of like all those guys who agree to go on dates with Norma. Sometimes you got to look at the picture first, am I right? Okay, so there were two people on the dock. Pay attention, be aware. I'm definitely keeping my eye on him, that's for sure. Okay, I think that if somebody, if there are two people standing at the dock waving at

you to catch your ropes and someone's saying there's no one there. I think we're beyond help. Don't you? I think that's pretty bad. Especially when Gale's like, yes, there are. He's like, no. But also like, it wasn't like this was 100 yards away. This is eight feet away. He's like, no, there doesn't seem to be anyone here to catch the ropes. The guys ropes. I feel like the guys are like, over here, your first boat in two years. Come on. We've been waiting for this moment. Yeah. So then, uh, Asia's checking with Ellie.

She's like, Ellie, Ellie, sorry. I almost said my own name there. Ellie, do you feel comfortable doing long service? I would be comfortable. So comfortable. That's me comfortable keeping busy and keeping comfortable. Awesome! I'm just going to try to see what way to do break and I think I'm just going to go to break now and I'll come back up afterwards. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate the chance. I will be alright because I definitely know where the horse radish is and all the other condiments and you will not have to worry about me bothering the entire boat about that for two hours straight. Thank you.

Well, we're over halfway through the entire charter season and I can't keep doing everything. Like maybe it's me, maybe I've just got too tired of all these show members and sometimes you gotta throw someone in the middle of the ocean and see if they think a swim. Hey, Bri, we'll be on Ron's lunch service together. And shortly we're going to be starting to set up the table and then I'll need your help serving some waters. And then you will bring the platters up. It's going to be family style. And so Ellie is like very excited. She gets to run lunch all by herself. So you would think her first thing that she would do would be to tell Bri to make the table a set the table. But instead, she goes right into cocktail mode because everyone's asking for cocktails. So she has to make cocktails for everyone, which makes sense, but like

delegate some work, bitch. Yeah, she and then meanwhile, Brie is like, dear diary, she asked me to put sheets on my head for dinner. If this goes badly, I don't want to get blamed for it. So, um, it's just like, what's that? She's like doing Blair Witch in her diary. It is day three of charter. I don't know where I am. Someone please save me. I'm supposed to bring platters upstairs. I'm sure it's going to be fun and work out well. I'm sure I will see you soon again, mother. So Asia's like, Ellie, just radio me if you need me to come up. I've got it. I'm professional.

I'm lead to a chiefs to here. Chiefs to okay Okay, rebreather some laundry to be collected in the first port cabin. Do it. And meanwhile, the guests are ordering the drinks and gin and tonic Bloody Marys fairly easy. I mean, this could have been a mojito crew and it's not. And one of the guests is like, um, actually, could you put some pickle juice my bloody that'd be great. Yeah, she's like, some pickle juice my bloody that would be great. Yeah, she's like,

Bri Bri Ellie. Could you please bring some lemon water please? Bri Bri Ellie. Could you please? Could you please bring some celery? Do you have celery? Do you have some olives or toothpick? It's a garnish. Bri Bri Ellie. Do you have a little cocktail umbrella Bri Bri Ellie? Could you bring book full of lies? Thank you. Dear diary, I was asked to bring pickle, so I put it in hot mode. I'm waiting for pickle to come out.

Surely nothing will go wrong today. Oh no, I just realized I put pickle in Captain Sanji's wardrobe. Oh no. Oh no. So, uh, meanwhile, Gail, guess what guys? Gail is feeling anxious about her relationship that no one cares about. Gail, you're basically cheating on your boyfriend on national TV. Just dump the guy. You don't make it, but you're acting like a dude right now acting like, Oh my God, I just don't want

to hurt anyone's feelings. You know, that is, this is becoming fuck boy behavior that she's doing because this is totally what guys do. Like, oh my God, I would never cheat on my girlfriend on a yacht. I just love, I just really respect her so much. I would never want to do this. And then go make out with someone on camera. But because you're saying that you feel guilty, like you're off, break up with the dude already. I'm sick of this hearing about how stressed out you are over this report friends a loser dump him date the monk.

Yeah. Friar. I know. Friar fuck. So meanwhile, they're still like, I'm Bri Bri. Do you have to have you happen to have one boot? I guess we'd like to drink something out of a boot. Could you please bring boot up here? Oh, nevermind. I found the boot. Do you know where ice is? Does anyone know what ice is?

Oh, I found ice. I found. So Aisha's listened to all this stuff while she was trying to enjoy. I hope I don't get the boot today. I don't deserve boot. Maybe I do. What came first? Boot or shoe?

Oh dear. This is, this is why I never take a break. It's just that I'm just not ready. Yeah, I said no one knows where anything is. Ellie, Ellie, why is the table not set up? Oh, we've been making cocktails the whole time. Well, I guess I'll come back from break. I mean, I don't feel restful.

We just need to catch up. I'll start setting the table. I've learned my lesson. They're just not ready so now Asia comes in to fix everything and And basically Asia just has Ellie do something else and Ellie's like, oh, she's giving me the chance And now she's taking it away and it just crushes my soul a little bit much like the crush Barbie soul when she realized She was not in Malibuu but a shoebox in Serbia. She couldn't have given us five more minutes, we would have had it under control.

Yeah, but it wasn't under control, okay? Brie, in one minute, can you please go to the galley and start running platters? She's like, oh, so you're saying you have no confidence in us? Oh, that was a good one, let me write. No, it's just not right, it just didn't feel like the right time to be doing a lunch break and this was just such a mess and the table wasn't set and things just weren't on top of alright. That's just how it is. Aisha, I apologize but one problem is that the platters are currently in the dryer.

Is that okay? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Um, I was like, Oh shit, here we go again. I was fully ready for someone serves Sandy's portion to the guests. Andy has no lunch. Who's going to fuck up? I was, I was ready for this. And then it was like, no, it was fine. She got her sense. She got it. And who taught him how to make that PETA looked good to me. I mean, it looked like very wet dough. Actually. I was like, I don't know that that PETA dough is supposed to be that wet, but I think it came out tasting great. I wanted to try it.

It looked delicious. I was happy for it. So then, I was so happy for it. So then Nathan is talking to Gail about how tired he is and she's like, oh yeah, they're making small talk, but the show's making it sound like the most romantic conversation ever as they do. And then she gets a text and just immediately starts ignoring him because it's her boyfriend. Who else would it be? And then she goes through a whole thing of like, I have so much guilt because I'm definitely

a people pleaser. I don't want to be doing this to my boyfriend. I'm just letting myself down by disappointing others. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. You're doing this on national TV. Stop. I'm not buying any of this. I know. How about focus on being less of a people pleaser and more of an audience pleaser and just stop talking about this. No one cares. Dump the guy. We don't know who he is and we know he sucks. So get rid of him.

Yeah. So then they're looking around. So Asia's looking around because they're clearing plates. And so now Asia goes to town to take the guests. And it's, you know, this cute little town with donkeys, I guess, or horses. I don't know. She says donkeys, but I think I saw horses. But she's like, I love that the only modes of transportation in this place are by foot or by donkey. Oh, we call that by foot or by Norma. Sorry, I'm not even in the scene. I just wanted to drop in.

Okay. Just wanted a radio Asian, make sure she has accurate information for the guests. Although the funny part is the foot is the Norma of the body. So it's really by Norma or by Norma. Sometimes I wish I was a donkey so I could just peep on the street. Abracadabra. You know, you actually should talk to Norma about that. She does have some

experience. You should just go grocery shopping with Norma. It's never stopped here before. Right in the middle of an aisle. Being up on aisle six, if you know what I'm saying. I would say that Norma just doesn't give a shit, but she actually does. Lots and lots of places. So Sandy, now with everyone off the boat, Sandy FaceTime her girlfriend and she's like, oh, hey, hey Leah, what's going on?

You look pretty. God, I wish I looked better for you. But unfortunately, my, my pants are in as white as they normally are. They're just slightly gray because I didn't have time to put on my dress capris. So I'm in my kind of casual capris right now. Sorry for that. Sorry, sorry to be such a gray cloud for you, but I unfortunately had to match the color of my capris these days. So anyway, Leah and I have been together for five years. So I'm so in love with her words that were never said to Norma. I moved to Colorado where there's not even any water. I mean, I would follow her to the desert, but I would ask her, can we please live near the ocean? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know,

because I'm a captain on a yacht in the water. So we met Captain Sandy once. We met Captain Sandy Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We went out one night with Captain Sandy, Captain, what is wrong with me? Captain Lee and Hannah, and what's that guys? The other guys? Josiah. Josiah. Yeah, we went out with all these blood deck people. It was so, so fun. And we ended up hanging out with Sandy for a really long time. Like she came to a bar with us. I mean, she doesn't drink obviously, but we went to, I was like, you don't have to drink. We're just going to stand around watching these go-go boys, which I'm sure she loved even more. But she came and she was so nice. And she kept texting and I was like, who are you texting?

And she's like, oh, I just met this really great girl. She's the one. I'm telling you, she's, I barely even know her, but I'm telling you, this girl's the one. I really, really like this girl. And it was Leah. And look, it was the wine. And that is so cool. That was like the second or third day that she had been texting this chick. And now look at those two crazy kids. You know, that's like, we were part of the history. We were there like witnessing history then. Pete Slauson Yeah, we really, it's because of us. Pete Slauson Because of us, she fell in love. David Well, we had nothing to do with the history. It wasn't because of us. But we were,

we were watching it, you know, it's like we're standard buys of history. Yeah, that's so cool. It's cool to have been there at the inception of this. I'm really happy for the two of them. So, meanwhile, Nathan and Joe are talking and it's not very interesting, to be honest. And it's not very interesting, to be honest. Yeah. They're just talking about Bree. That's it. Yeah. So then Bree's like, sometimes I actually don't even know what to say to Joe, because

I've never been in a weird work-love triangle before. I didn't really know what to do, to be honest. The whole situation with Ellie is actually affecting my work, dear diary. But I do feel chemistry, which is why I just put it a tide pod up Joe's bottom with a white sock and a blue sock. I hope it works out. Wish me luck. So now the guests come back to the boat. They're going to be doing like a sparkle party tonight, which anytime anyone says sparkle, I still think back to the boat. They're going to be doing like a sparkle party tonight, which anytime anyone says sparkle, I still think back to Cameron Westcott pushing sparkle dog on Real Housewives of

Dallas. Like it's literally ingrained in me. It's kind of crazy. And they're going to be preparing. They're going to be doing like a little presentation, like a dance, little dance that Joe and, Joe and Gail are gonna be doing like a little dance dance gig or something like that but Ellie's sort of flirting with him and she's like oh Joe you have a good voice for singing is it going to not just well I mean as long as you get the partially out of your teeth but you know I have a good voice for meditation okay like if you need to hypnotize someone okay here's me meditating close your eyes you stupid

bitch what you trying to do? You trying to sabotage me? Okay, you know what? I will control meditation. You just go to other room. Okay, count back from five. Five loads of laundry you did wrong. Four times you tried to blame me for it.

Three times I told you that I liked the job before you tried to steal him from me. Two chances I've been given to do lunch service when it was been taken away. Number one, the position I should have on this boat. Are you under now? Questionable. You've been meditated.

So, uh. You just got Ellie'd. Good luck. Ellie goes. So she's she says she's really she really has a voice for meditation. She says that I have a voice for meditation. OK, breathe deeply and try to tell me where is the horseradish? So get me pickle. You in five seconds, you will open your eyes and get the pickle.

I cannot. I cannot meditate like this. I'm sorry. I am sorry. You are not closing your eyes enough. I am trying to meditate. I'm trying to be first meditator someday and you have to close your eyes.

Otherwise, what is even the point? You broke my meditation code. So she goes, well, I am personally kind of looking forward to spending more time with Riz. Joe, I called him Riz. And the producer's like, why do you call him Riz? And she goes, you know, I'm trying to keep up with the things, the lingo that kids use

for somebody who has charisma. So, Riz is short for charisma. They're like, yeah, but still, why are you calling Joe Riz? Why? Riz! Oh, I can't wait to fuck that guy. He's got the Riz. I'm like, Mom, come home.

I know. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Dan Tbersky. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling, and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low.

Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well, you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem?

Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So John, meanwhile, was talking to Gail in the galley

and he's like, so how's your boyfriend? And she's like, he's good. I mean, like, you know, I haven't spoken to him that much though, but I think we are all right. I think, we're, we're, and then she like, gets very quiet and like does a dish. She cleans the dish and then she turns around with very tight lips goes, no, sorry. Yeah, we're good. We're good. I'm mad at Ellie boys, but she's like, we are good. We're good. We're totally good. Yeah, we're fine. We're fine. We're doing great. We're doing great. And he's like, He's like, Mm hmm. Really convincing there, Gail. Yeah.

I love that that forced smile that you have when you think about your boyfriend shows that you're in a great place. Yeah, I think she keeps talking to the chef about it, trying to get him to be like, Oh, you just need to dump him and this, you know, you know, you're really cute with? Nathan, but he's not. He's just like, mm-hmm. And so, he is talking about how the guests, it's very important how the food tastes, but also plating, you know? And so, tonight he's doing healthy grilled lobster and cauliflower rice. I was like, how do you end the sentence in that? You know what's most important about being a chef? Flavor. So I'm doing plain lobster and cauliflower rice. No!

What is that? This is going to go crazy. Get the fuck out of here with that. And I'm going to arrange it on the plate to make sure it looks just like 1987. So then Asia's talking to Ellie, like they're sort of at the bar. She's like, oh, did you have a nice day? Did you get to poo?

And she's like, yeah. Yeah. No, it was good. It was good. She's Really appreciate you as being professional and she's like, yeah I know well, you know, I just like checked out of the drama You know me and leave any the common reasonable one who does not engage in drama whatsoever but you know, I feel like this morning, you morning you know because you know you sent me to check on laundry because so anyway I start to fold things and she basically came in and she said get the hell out of here this is my room bitch you don't belong here who the fuck said that you are seconds to you never should have been on

a boat in the first place and I said but I am just trying to help both by putting laundry and doing help helping things for poor Asia and she said I don't fucking care who Asia is or who you are I run this bitch get the fuck out of here and I said you know what I'm going to say no to it and then she stormed out like the month that she is screaming throwing iron across the room tearing down curtains and trying to sink the entire boat so we would all die. It was horrific, Esha. She's like, oh my god, why is she doing that? Well, I don't know. But then she starts writing whole crime list. And I saw the notebook. It was like whole list of crimes, crimes committed in laundry.

All like girls clothes were found in the washer without the color catcher. And she's like, wait a minute, why would she she be doing that she's trying to catch the color have you even imagined writing down such a bad field girls clothes found in washer without color catcher i mean the horror of writing something like that and um asia's like oh god what do I have to do with this? I just feel like he's a good chief. Still, you need to really listen and assist both sides. It's just never-ending bullshit with the two of them. Choo-choo!

Where is the cat? Where is the color? Has anybody caught the color? Please! Call the Department of Laundry immediately so we can press charges. Your job is color catcher but you have not got any color. By the way, and suffice it to say, Ellie gives this description of a Brie coming in being a total monster to her. And then it's

interspersed with flashbacks of Ellie being like, Oh, don't worry, I got this. And then Ellie being so nasty to her. And she's like, oh, and she's stormed out. And you just see Ellie, you just see Ellie is the one who storms out and Bree just sort of like lingers around. Yeah, Bree just, the whole thing, the whole scene was Bree coming in going,

do you want me to help with laundry? She's like, no, get down, you stupid, stupid slut. She's like, okay, well, if you need me, I'll be over there writing a diary. You do not try to stop me from being first too! So funny. So Ellie is like, well, I just want to tell you, Aisha, I'm not going to get involved because she tweets it.

She tweets it into making it like it's me causing problems. I mean, it's just too much. And Aisha's like, well, none of this happens in front of me. So I can't like really say anything about it. It's why I always left a note with Santa's cookies. It said, as far as I'm concerned, you're a false fat person just coming in here to torture me every year. Just stop being a fucking liar already.

Right. torture me every year. Just stop being a fucking liar already, right? How am I supposed to know he's real? I don't even know where that went. I started literally staring at a tree. Suddenly we see dark, a dark chapter in Asia's life was when she was telling up Santa. Stop fucking lying to me, Santa. You make cookies every year and then what do you get? Nothing. Every fucking year you get nothing, you know? Finally, you're just like, I don't believe in you anymore. Okay, it's getting dark. So then, Joe, oh,

sorry, go ahead. I was just gonna say every week, I think Gail has a new story about how she injured herself. So this week is like, well, grabbing up, I was, you know, I was really into dancing. I did standards and jazz and tap and ballet and hip hop. It was great until I snapped my ACL at 16 and she added my meniscus. And then just as I was about to do a plie, I dropped an anchor on my toe. So there goes my dancing career. Right when I started to get it back and was able to dance again, I dropped an anchor and de-ankled myself.

So there was that. Then I got an acceptance letter from the Angle Modeling Academy of America. So fortunately, I kind of ruined that chance as well, but I'm sure it's all going to work out. I had America surgery and I was finally back on the stage and just as I was doing a beautiful arabesque, I actually stuck my foot into a bisque. And so it was an arabesque into a bisque and it was scalding hot bisque and I burned my skin off my foot and I never danced after that. Just, it's just my life.

I'm so happy. So then Johnno is playing a poached pear and he's like, a poached pear may seem really simple. I mean, it is. So he just puts sheets of gold leaf on top of it. And he's like priceless, timeless, elegance, extravaganza, pussy, poppin'. It's a disaster. Okay. Well, first of all, the entree, the entree, I mean, it's sort of, it looks nice-ish, but he's done these like little things with the cucumbers. He's like rolled them up into like little little bundles. And he's like dotted the the plate with them and like little dots of sauce on one side. So it's like this very orderly artistic thing. That's like again,

a little 80s or 90s. But then the other side of the plate is just like a mound of cauliflower rice with lobster on top. So it's like messy and shaggy on one side and then orderly another, which is just strange. Not a big deal, but strange. And then this dessert, you have this poached pear wearing like a yarmulke of gold leaf. And then you have this like puddle of this like raspberry puree sauce on the side.

It's just like, it's like, oh. The gold leaf, it comes in like little square sheet, little rectangle sheets, and he doesn't wrap the pear. He just like puts a sheet on top. So it's just like a little rectangle kind of shriveled up on the top of we see still see the pear hanging out on it. I mean, it's just not good. What happened to whipped cream? You know what I mean? It's a fruit put an ice cream or whipped cream or something. Do something and then like he, because I remember poached pears always make me think of the eighties when my, my parents would have dinner parties.

They just have dinner parties all the time in the eighties. And my mom would always make poached pears for dessert. And so I just always, I know it's not an eighties dessert, but I always think of the eighties when I think of poached pears, because that's when I feel like I saw the most dessert, but also like, I don't have a huge amount of experience with poached pears, but you see the people eating and they stick their spoon into it and the, and it's still firms. The pair kind of like rolls away and like bounces away.

Shouldn't the poached pear be like super soft? So when you put your spoon into it, just sort of like melts off into the spoon. Yeah, that sounds good. Didn't yeah. Oh, boo. That sounds good. Didn't. Yeah. Oh, boo.

Boo. Bad poach pairing. Well, poached pairs make me think of July 4th because it's the one day of the year that I always put on a bathing suit and always just stand there staring at myself like, really? Another year of this? Could you do some pushups? So that's fun. Okay.

So then Asha goes to the laundry to check up on that and she sees the notebook. So she starts going through it. She's like, what is this? It's like a book of receipts. It's just a burn book. Asia talks about pooping on the street. Wait a minute. I should talk to about pooping in a bucket. Hold on a minute. Is this woman writing a story of my life? And then on top of everything else, there's cashmere in the dryer, by the way. I see cashmere in the dryer. And it's the wrong color. It's a bad book.

You know what? Like, just because you're writing down everything that goes wrong, like you should also use that information to make sure things don't go wrong. It's like you don't get extra credit because you wrote dear diary today I put the cash me on the dryer and because I'm writing it here. I think that means it's okay Hopefully I survive another day on this vessel signed we Me pray do you think that Ellie did it? Please make this storyline happen. I don't use make be that Ellie did it? Please make this storyline

happen. I don't use make it be that Ellie put some cashmere in the fucking dry. I will die. It turns out I don't think so. I don't think so because I think Ellie is savvy enough to know about the cameras. But I also think that like, Ellie's Ellie's preferred way of undermining people is to basically to tattle, you know, like she is very vocal. She's not sneaky like that. Whereas Bri, I don't know Bri is really sneaky. I think Bri has shown that she's just really not very bright. And I like, I would not put

it past Bri to, to put a cashmere sweater into the dryer. But I write things down. Dear diary, today I wrote things down and now I'm writing things down. But unfortunately I can't read it because you are in the dryer. Why are you in the dryer? See her spinning around. Much like Joe spun Gail around at dinner, by the way. Again, I still don't understand this thing. Like if I'm going on a super yacht, I don't need after dinner, like the deckies

to come out wearing like sparkles and do like some sort of dancing with the stars. I'm like, it's just, I've always dreamt of like being wealthy enough to like have a, have a cook, you know, like what if you, what if you made enough money that you had just had someone like make you dinner and then after dinner, your maid was just like, and now on my own pretending. Like, get the fuck out of here. I didn't pay for this. I'm not gonna go play to Brownie. Upstairs, downstairs, bitch. Yeah, it's too much.

It's too much. I'll give you an I'll give you an extra $3.00 so the maids don't start singing at the end of dinner. Listen, listen, I went to a, I've talked about this before. I want a family vacation to Club Med and that's what Club Med is like because you have the people who work there. I know it's true. Like, this always makes me laugh when you talk about Club Med. Just your utter shock that people are paid to be nice to

you. You're like never gonna get it. It's like it's like I've never if that was a life changing experience for me. I've never been more rattled than when I had to go to club mad at Port St. Lucie. And then everyone went to sleep at eight o'clock because it's it's the family med version. And it's so the only people who are awake are me because my parents went to sleep my brother went to sleep because you know they had like a little like a bit like busy baby and a toddler so they're all asleep and there's no singles there so I'm I'm at that time I'm probably like I think I'm like 33 or so 32 33 I've got nothing to do it's eight o'clock so I go to the local bar the sandbar and you sit there and all the camp counselors basically come in and they sit with you and they just literally are paid to be nice to you. It's like you're surrounded by escorts but like non sexual escorts and they just chat with you and they just are like, Hey, tomorrow, why don't you come by the archery range will teach you archery. Hey, tomorrow you want to learn about like, how to use a sunfish. We're gonna we're gonna do it. You're having a great time. And you're just like, yeah, that'd be great. This is so good.

I got new friends. And it's like, it's just really unsettling. When did you find out they weren't really your friends? I think when I was like, so we're gonna hang out forever after this, right? They're like, oh, I'm sorry, your visit's up. Bye. Give me the bead necklace back, sir.

You're out of here. The bead bracelet. I know. It was just the strangest thing. And then they me the bead necklace back, sir. You're out of here. It was just a strange thing. And then they sat down with you at dinner too. Like we had our whole family. Okay. Like it was like eight of us at a table. And then one of the camp counselors, I call them camp counselors because that's what it feels like they sit down. Like, can we sit with you? And then like, you're having a family, your family and then the stranger, and then you have to talk to them as if they're like part of your family.

It was the weirdest thing in the world, Which is why I don't want people, I don't want the deckies ever singing at my table. Some people are really into that and I'm just not into it. But you see people fall for that shit all the time. It's like when you take a girlfriend to a gay bar where there are strippers or whatever, go-go boys, which I've mentioned twice, I do not have a bono right now. I don't know why I'm talking like this today, but it just does remind me of that because every girl that you take, it's like our first or second time, they all think the strippers are in love with her. Like, oh my God, that one really likes me. You won't stop staring at me. He's trying to get your money. Have you ever heard

of this? Like, it happens every single time. Like, no, I'm in love with him. Like, they're getting each other's numbers. Like, girl, girl. Yeah, because those strippers, those go-go boys, they all they have to do is just give like strong eye contact. And you're like, I think they see something in me. I think there's chemistry. I think finally someone in this town sees some talent here. Yeah, because it's so exciting to have like a really attractive

person just stare into your eyes. You're like, I never thought they'd want to stare into my eyes and your heart starts to race and everything. And then you have to remind yourself, oh, no, this is what they do. This is their job. This is how they make their money. All right. Well, everybody, dear diary, today was the day I realized the stripper wasn't really

into me. Done, done, done. Thank you so much for being here for some Below Deck Med. We will be back tomorrow with Dubai. We'll be back with Orange County. We've got Love Island finale up on Patreon. Lots of stuff going on. House of the Dragon. Go check that out. Tons of stuff going on. And check out Ryan Bailey later this week on Thursday. And Ben is on another show coming up, but we can't announce that until later. I don't want to say it until announce that until I don't want to say it until yeah I don't want to say it until it's recorded because you know I'm always paranoid of like being like oh

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