Watch What Crappens - #2499 Love Island Mini: It’s Finale Time!

Episode Date: July 27, 2024

*This episode originally dropped as a Patreon Bonus last Monday*Four couples remain - who will win? Well, we already know. But let’s talk about it!Watch this as a video recap and find all of our Love Island US bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens, watch what happens, guess what happens with this, so much that happens. Hello and welcome to The Watch What Happens Love Island Experience. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. We are here. It's finale day. Well, it's actually post-finale day. The finale just happened last night and we're here to break it all down. Ronnie, you have just survived your first Love Island finale. How are you doing? Are you alive? Are you okay?

Are you gutted? Are you happy? Are you sad? You know, I'm just so happy for everybody. You know, they found the ultimate prize, love, guys. True love that has nothing to do with Instagram likes or TV popularity or winning votes from America. It was really touching, actually. How do you feel?

Well, I am, I'm doing okay. I was very happy. Okay. First of all, I was very happy with a couple who won. I was very happy with, I'm going to say it. Okay. You got five seconds left before you. Okay. Now it's over. Cordell and Serena. Like I was very, like they were my picks to win. I was real picks because I wanted them to win a few picks of who I thought we were going to win. I was very, like, they were my, my picks to win. I was real picks because I wanted them to win a few picks of who I thought we were going to win. I was really, really happy with that. I was happy with that too. I was delighted. I was shocked, honestly, that Kendall and Nicole were placed fourth because like they were like, it's mainly Kendall's fault. Nicole's fine, but like Kendall's super annoying.

But I thought that like they got such a nice edit over the past two weeks. I was like, for sure they're going to be number two, but they were first ones out. I'm not surprised at all. And I think actually she fucked it up. And yeah, I think that he fucked it up generally the whole season, that whole like rooting for the guys to, to kind of cheat on their girls or whatever that he was doing before. And I think he was doing that, now that I think about it, to try and win the game, right? Because he was trying to have the only solid relationship. Whatever he was

doing, I think he was fucking with people in that regard, which maybe fucked up their voting. But I think she ultimately did it because this is where you're trying to prove that you love somebody, whether you do or not. You need to make America believe it. And I think America is like, you better audition and make us believe that you're in love. And so when she refuses to say she's in love, I think what she was thinking is, I'm really competitive and I want to win this shit, so I'm going to withhold my I love you until the season finale. And then it's going to be a big explosive firework. By the way, the fireworks were terrible. It's going to be a big explosive firework of an I love you. But it just, it read like not real. And also he needs to stop

being a fucking stalker. And you know, if they were on a date and he was asking for sex, that would be assault. But instead, it's like he's talking her into saying, I love you, so it's okay. It's not okay. That is I love you assault. And I did not like Kendall's whole move of like, you know what, you didn't say I love you to me, but I'm just gonna sit here and wait for it. If it's tomorrow, if it's next week, if it's in a year, when you say it back to me, then it's gonna be... You fucking weirdo, leave her alone. Take the fucking hint. She didn't say she loves you back because she probably doesn't. You don't just get to come up to her every... I was triggered by him not leaving her alone until she said, I love you.

She's sobbing, she's traumatized. And now she said it. Are you fucking happy you lost a whole fucking game for yourself? You stupid couple. I was so mad at them. Can you tell? What was that? I love it. I, um, my take is a little different. I mean, I actually found that over the last few episodes, I grew to enjoy Kendall a little bit more. Like he still was for sure of the four. He would have been my fourth place pick as well, because I still find him to be like so annoying

and so over the top, but I do actually feel like he's a sweet guy. And I have to say when he like, when he came back from his date and he was like, guys, I told her, I met, I said, I love you. And they all hugged, the guys all hug him. And it's so funny. First of all, side note that these guys are like, you said I love you. Oh man. They're all hugging him.

It's just like so funny that like after six weeks of being in a villa where all you talk about is your feelings. Now these guys who never in the outside world would probably hug someone because they said that they love someone or like, Oh my God, bring it in, bro. Bring it in, bro. Well, that's one of my main questions for the show. Are people like this? Like are straight people like this? I've never seen this before. Like, do they literally sit around and talk like this to each other? Like, bro, what'd

you do today? Well, I don't know. You know, I talked to my girl about our feelings, bro. Really, bro? What'd you say about it? I don't know, man. I'm just like, I don't know if I'm vulnerable enough to say it. Are you, man? Come on, man, be vulnerable. And then they cry on each other.

Is this what straight people are doing? Because I'm gonna fucking start dating straight people. I just find it so adorable. It is adorable. I think they just whip themselves into a tizzy because that's all they have. That's what they're there for. That's all they have to talk about. And then it just

becomes the most important thing in their lives is like their feelings. And if they're in love, it's like when you watch people get really into politics, you know, like when people obsess over the news and headlines. And then next thing you know, like all they talk about is politics. And no matter if you're talking, you could be talking about love Island and they'll be saying something like, Oh gosh, they'll say Kendall is so annoying. Sort of like that policy that they just passed, am I right? Speaking of which, that's what, that's, people do that all the time.

They like introduce a joke and then they act as if we were talking about it all the time. And they go, speaking of which, what do you guys think about that policy? Oh my God, Love Island is so long. You know what's even longer? Climate change. It's like a filibuster. Speaking of filibusters, did you guys see C-SPAN?

You guys, did anybody drop out of the race this weekend? Yeah, I wouldn't know what it's like with people overdoing politics right now in our country. No idea. I know. We wouldn't have any idea. What a weekend. What a blockbuster weekend. Truly. The Love Island and Biden finale. Um, but either way, this was all a side note, which is to say, so he says, Kendall tells everyone, Oh my God, like I said, I love her. They're like, yeah, bro. And he goes, she didn't say it back. They go, Oh, and then he just starts sobbing. He's like, he's in the confessional and he's like, yeah, I said, I love you. And then, and you know, his lips curl down, you know, that's his,

that's the way he has, he does this like, oh yeah, he does say, yeah, he has like a, he has like a tight lip over the teeth too. Or he's like, yeah, it's like a cartoon mouth. It's like a little bit like a South park mouth. And so he just started like, he got like an emoji sad face and then he like hung his head and he was like, and I was like, this poor, the sad little nerd, he, he flew too close to the sun. This is a guy who grew up playing video games,

getting yelled at by his sister to be get out of here, Kendall. And all of a sudden he got a glow up. And for a moment he had, he had a hot girlfriend or he had it all. And then she didn't say, I love you. Well, he's trying to force it. And I'm, you know, I'm sorry to say it again, but it's really bothering me that he's just trying to force it on her because I don't think it's fair.

And he knows that he's batting above his average and he knows he's hitting up whatever you call it. I don't know sports, so it's really hard for me to do sports things. Punching up, punching down. Punching up, punching down. No, not punching up, because that's being mean to somebody, right?

No, but I think they say punching, like you're punching up out of your league. Okay, well yeah, like he's, yeah, okay. So that, like she's way, he would never get to date her in normal life, I think, and so he knows that, and so he's trying to get a commitment from her while she's on TV, because he knows that she going to dump. I mean, this is how I'm feeling. I don't know if any of this is true. This is what I'm feeling. I just don't think

she likes him. And she keeps making all these comments like, I mean, you're like, you do all this stuff that like normally I would hate, but like with you, it makes me love you even more. You don't like him. Stop trying to talk yourself into liking this guy. She's like, I would never date a guy like you normally. I normally date like toxic guys. You're not going to suddenly like Kendall. You're not going to suddenly like somebody following you around being like, what are you feeling? What are you doing? Do you like me? Oh, you looked at somebody because you know he's going to be like that. He's going to be like that in the food court. Like, why did you go to the Sabaro line when I went to the Panda Express

line? Like, are you sure you don't have a problem with me? Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to talk about it? You don't have to talk about it. You don't have to talk about it. We can talk about it later. We don't have to talk about it right now. Yeah. I think that like you like an E and clingy and weird. It's like he's following around a celebrity. I think that ultimately what it's going to come down to is that like she's been

burned by these awful guys in the past and she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to say I love you before she sees how Kendall is in the real world when he's exposed to like all of a sudden Instagram fame, real fame and all these things. I, the only thing I really want to talk about with, with Friday night show, cause I feel like the, the, the hot topic is the finale, but we have to talk about the fact that there was an elimination, a double elimination and America voted and the two least popular couples were given the boot.

So unsurprisingly, the people given the boot, Aaron and Kayla and Rob and Cassie. And I think the thing that was funniest about this was how the producers really played up the bromance between Rob and Aaron. Like the entire episode began with like Rob and Aaron sitting on the dock at night thinking about the moon, thinking about their times together and just like staring lovingly in their eyes. And like Aaron could not have been happier. So Rob and Aaron, so they get eliminated. And you know, again, Aaron, the only time Aaron has ever shed a tear in this game is when he feared that Rob was leaving him.

And now they're both eliminated and Aaron has a big smile on his face because he gets to walk out of the Villa with Rob. And it's cool. Kehler's there too, but Rob he's mainly happy. He's like, well, at least we get to go back together. And I think Rob says the same thing. He's like, yeah, man, at least we get to go. We guess, we get to leave at the same time. I'm like the two of them. I don't know. You know, I don't know why it makes me so angry. I think bromances are wonderful and they are deserved and everyone's allowed to

have a bromance or a she man's or whatever we're going to call them. But I think it's the, it just speaks to the insincerity of Aaron that he does these horrific things to Kayla and he's really just in it for Rob. And then he like, he gives, he gives Kayla a seashell on a necklace on a chain or something. And that like, she's like, Oh Aaron, look, I can't help it because I love you. It's so far. How much I love you, Aaron." And he's just like, gets away with it. Dave I don't, I mean, I don't, what did he do? You know, look, I've watched so much of this at

this point that I'm like, did he really do anything that bad? I mean, my God. And she still loves it so much. I don't even feel for her at all, especially sitting there because she's so resigned to it. There was one point where they're all sitting together on the Whataburger bench, you know? Did you notice the Whataburger bench? How come nobody glorifies that bench? That bench has the best French fries in the business, the Whataburger bench, the orange and white striped bench. Okay, so they're sitting on that bench. I think it was that. I think they're always sitting on the Whataburger bench in my mind. God, talk about porn during a bonus episode. I know. Whataburger. So they're on that bench and Aaron's like, we go together like, and Kayla goes,

paint a bullet in Jolly fog. Rob's Rob goes, you're the P to my pod. First of all, you idiot. That doesn't mean anything. Like you're, I'm the container of your pee. Like, what does that mean? I don't even know what that means. I know my child. You're in my belly. I'm pregnant. You're my child. You're my oversized pregnancy clothing. And then Kayla just goes, you're so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so just seemed so resigned to them being in love because they literally just stared each other the whole time. I mean, they had a whole doc talk where they sat there and they looked into each other's eyes, crying Rob and Aaron and romantic music played. I was dying. The show, the show is so funny that they made them like the main couple who was getting

kicked off. I thought it was so cute. They really leaned into it too. This lady went on to social media and she's like, hi, my friend dated Rob and I'm here to tell you all about him, which is that he is, um, she said that he is like, if you think that he's like performative now, like he's on his best behavior when he's off camera, it is even worse than usual. And he is so manipulative and he does not like women. He just wants to make women

angry and upset. And she's like, but whatever, I've had enough of it. And it was like a quick, like 30 second video, but she was like, yeah, this guy's the worst and you're seeing him on his best behavior. And I was like, yes, yes, I love that. I mean, I love the trash talking. I mean, of it. Listen, I saw that video. I have to say, where's the gossip here? Do you have anything? Do you have a video that you could post to TikTok of him being like this? I need more than somebody being like, he dated a girlfriend of mine, which, okay, so he broke up with your girlfriend and they broke up, so you're mad at him now. And she's like, and she said something like, he's mean to girls.

I'm like, does he stare off into space and talk about snakes? Because that's what he does on this show. I need evidence. You can't just come on and blast somebody without evidence, record their ass. You know what I mean? If you don't have anything, here's what I suggest to everybody. If you're getting divorced or you're in a bad breakup and this person is really good at not giving you evidence, what you should do is put a secret camera in their car because

that's when you see someone's true personality is when they're in fucking traffic. You can see Ben passively aggressive, give somebody a beep and this is how Ben gets angry. I did it this morning. This is how Ben gets angry. And this is why I know I can always be your friend because your anger is, your furious anger is this. Like that's it. Like I can deal with that. You know what I mean?

Here's the sneaky part about this podcast. If you go onto Reddit or anywhere, they always say, you know, Ronnie says it like it's Ben's the nice one. And the sneaky trick for everyone is that Ronnie is the nice one. Okay. I am not the nice one. I've conned the entire audience into thinking I'm the nice one. Driving the car with me. Driving the car. No, no, no, no. I am a dick. People don't realize how big of a dick I am. And I like honk at old ladies all the time.

Well. Because I just, you know, I'm like, you gotta drive faster. I honked. I like that you specify old ladies. You're like, I can take her. You know when we talk about punching up and punching down, you know, well, look, listen, you know what I want? I would like somehow, I would like some great affront to fanciness. And then we can all walk outside with top hats and be like, I'm sure my support with a top hat. Then we'll all be like fancy dandies in the street. Yeah.

I'm showing my support with a top hat. Then we'll all be like fancy dandies in the street. Yeah. Like someone runs over Mr. Peanut, we all walk out with canes and top hats. Like, I shall not stand for this. So that's a diversion to vision. The other thing I was gonna say is, you know, yes, you're right.

There wasn't a lot of gossip. It's just like this lady is talking about Rob saying stuff that we already knew. But like sometimes I just need the echo chamber. I need just someone to say, listen, I have a tangential relationship to this person and I, you know, what you're feeling is right. And that's all I need.

I'm happy, you know? I like that. That validation I get from a lady in overalls. She was wearing overalls, right? Was that just in my mind? You know what? I don't know, but now that you said it, I think she is too. I just wanted? She was. You know what? I don't know, but now that you said it, I think she is too. I just wanted to hear more.

You know what I mean? I don't doubt anything that she said. Of course, Rob's an arrogant piece of shit. He is on the show. I just need evidence. You know what I mean? I feel like we're in a world of cell phone evidence and everybody else has it. So where's yours?

I need it. Also, the Rob, did you watch the After Sun show? You know, I was going to and then I saw that the finale was two hours long and I also knew I had to watch New Jersey and House of the Dragon and also have some sanity. So I decided I was going to come back to After Sun after the fact. So was there anything good on there? Well, there were two goobers on it from last year, these couples. And they were pretty funny. And their big advice to everybody, she said, so how do you all stay together like you do?

How do you think you can stay together like you do? How do you think? Real hard feet when we came back here to the villa. Yeah. How are your hearts? There will be a lot of branches. So they were basically, she's like, how do you think you stay together all this time? They probably, I mean, they've been together since last year.

And he's like, I think the really important thing is that we tell each other that we appreciate each other a lot. She goes, yeah, he does that. And I'll get mad at him. But then at the end, he'll say, I appreciate you. And when we dated, every day he would tell me, I appreciate you. But if you know he's going to do it, don't you just know that that's bullshit? Like, if you say like, you know how we're going to stay together? I'm going to tell you every day, I appreciate you, even if I don't. It just sounds so phony and like going through the motions to me. I don't know. It's hard for me to believe it. Like, watching this show in the beginning,

I was starting to believe in love more. And now I'm like, wait a minute, these people are all hoodwinking me because that doesn't even sound real. What do you think? Yeah. I mean, it's just funny when you hear these like 23-year-old, you know, Instagram influencers talking about like their wisdom with love. I'm like, I'm here's what I, here's who I want to talk to. I want to talk to, I don't know, like the ghost of Jessica Tandy. Like I want to talk to like an old person. I don't want to talk. If you're less than 65 years old, like you,

you need to have reached retirement age before you can talk about love authoritatively. Yeah, exactly. And also let's see what else happened on there. Rob was on there, of course. Rob and Kailer and Aaron were all on there, of course. And Rob, they gave Rob a special pair of overalls and he was like really touched. And then Rob kept saying this, which made me nuts,

because he was saying it on the main show too, but he kept going, yeah, you know, like it was really hard for me because like I've been through so much on this show. What have you been through? What are you fucking talking about? You showed up, you're some fucking hot person who showed up and got to make out with a bunch of hot people for a few weeks in Fiji. Like, are we really going to... You were with six couples, you were with six different women and in the end you just had sex. You know, like, you literally like... Give me a fucking break, bro. He literally got, he literally was through nothing.

His biggest hardship that he faced was bawling over Andrea being eliminated. And then he expressed his grief over that situation by then getting with four more women and then having sex with another one. So like, if he's going to say that was the hardest thing for him, it seemed like he really was not having that. Yeah. He's like, Oh, it was so hard. So that was like every and everybody's like, Oh, poor Rob, fucking suckers. And then they were giving him shit about Leah and saying, so everybody thinks you and Leah should really be together. What if Leah ends up coming out and wanting you instead? And he's like, well, I'd be lying if I said I

didn't feel something for her, but I'd also be lying if I said that I could see it lasting a long time. So he's still like kind of leaving it open for the audience. Did he say anything about Andrea? He said that he was really into her. He talked about how he went and hid in the pool and they're like, why would you hide in a swimming pool? And he's like, because there's nowhere to be alone. But then I looked at the swimming pool and there was a little bridge. And so I thought I could go under there because cameras can't fit. And so I went under there and they're like, yeah, we saw you. And he's like, you could see me under there and they're like, yeah, we saw you. And he's like, you could

see me under there? They're like, yeah, there's cameras under there. And he's like, oh no, could you hear me under there? And they're like, no, there's no microphones. He's like, good. What do you think he was saying under there? He's probably reciting the lyrics, the lyrics to some, some song. Who knows? He's like, here is a castle on a cloud. There's a place where I can speak. It's a spider. He's my friend. Yeah. There was some, you know, I got oddly emotional on the Friday night show because before the elimination, they were all sitting around and they're all like cheersing each other. They were like being like reflective and it made me emotional.

Actually I was like so annoyed that I got emotional because it made me think of the very last night I had in college and how like that very late was after graduation. It was like the night like graduations during the day. It was like a Sunday at night. It was like, you know, that's, you have to pack up all your stuff and you drive home the next morning. And so I just remember being with my friends and like, you're trying to like make this moment last. You know, you're never going to be in this place again. It's a special place,

special time in life. It's a once in a lifetime thing. And you're just like, Oh my God. And so when they were all kind of having that moment, I was like thinking back to my moment that I had that was sort of similar to it. And I got emotional. I was like, fuck this show. Why am I actually getting emotional right now? Yeah. Yeah, there were definitely some emotional parts to it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. My name is Georgia King and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondery Plus, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the

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I don't remember. There was something I feel like I was going to say, but I don't remember what it was. I think my main takeaway, well, first of all, I have to say, you know, I'm wrong a lot of the time on the show. I was really wrong when I thought, I really thought Serena Cordell at one point sat down and I thought she was just over it at this point. I thought she was done with him. I thought she was, I never thought she could take him back.

And you were like, no, she's not, she's not over, she doesn't have the ick. I think she really likes him. She done with him. And you were like, I never thought she was gonna take him back. And you were like, no, she's not, she's not, she doesn't have the ick. I think she really likes him. She's forgiving him. And I was like, no, that was a totally wrong read. Of course, then she was all in. So I was wrong about that. But one thing I don't think I'm wrong on

is this Nicole and Kendall situation. Something is seriously wrong with her and she needs to get away from Kendall. I don't think he's good for her. I don't think he's like a terrible person, but I think that he, I think that she's going to stay with him out of pity. And then it's just going to make everything a lot worse. I, so when she initially got with Kendall, I never really believed it. Like when she, she was, there was a moment where Miguel was sort of going after

Nicole and they had great chemistry and she was, she looked like she wanted just to hop into bed with him. She was like, Oh, like you could tell. But then she said, remember Harrison when Harrison came on, she was like, I'm really not into you, but I'm like, you could totally tell she loved him. Yeah. And so it was just, and she also, by the way, when she first walked into the Villa, she, um, she also liked Cordell, believe it or not. And they like made out. And so like, it seemed like, like Kendall, when she wound up with Kendall, it was such a strange choice at that time. And, um,

but then I kind of got used to it. I eventually got used to it. And then I started to believe that she really does like him. But then when she didn't say, I love you back initially, like that's within her right and everything. But it did make me wonder, like what is the longevity here? Because she's, whether or not she likes him, she has been burned so many times. And the question is, is she going, is she just trying to make this work? Cause she wants to be with a nice guy. Or even if she does really care for him, is this is like, you know, something is, is her, the past trauma that she's had with these awful guys

going to kind of undo her situation with him, or is he just going to fuck it up by being just super annoying? I don't know, but I don't have as much of an intense reaction as you. I was with you, wondering what it was, obviously. I thought that she was kind of trying to withhold it. Cause you know, in Bachelor, they do that where they, and I'm sorry to keep comparing it, but it is really the same thing. They keep trying to withhold it for important temporal moments on the show where it's like, oh, now you say I'm vulnerable. And now you have them alone somewhere and you're about to get kicked off. So now's the time to tell them that your mom died in a train accident while, you know, transferring puppies while transferring puppies from Peru, or whatever your trauma is for that day.

And so I thought maybe she was doing that, like she's withholding the I love you for the special moment. But then I was like, you know what, I don't think it's normal whenever you're around somebody that you love to just start sobbing every single time. And I know they kind of all do that in a way, but everyone else has this like, oh my God, I'm so happy right now. I'm sobbing. And she literally has this like, Oh my God, you're so nice and I'm about to trample you. And I feel terrible after I've been the one trampled all these years, but that's just,

that's just what I'm getting. Time will tell. But even the funny part is now sort of fast forwarding back to the finale, which was two hours and definitely did not need to be two hours. But, um, and I was like, the worst part, I just want to say the worst part about love Island is the way it ends because they, again, they have to, they have to prove their whole reason for being there. So they have to pivot away from drama and lean into like romance and like this does work. This process works guys. And so there's always these final dates

which go on forever and are so uninteresting. And there's always this thing where they write like odes to each other and it's like, this is like awful. It goes on and on and on and on. And you know, I'm sorry that everyone has to go through it. I'm sorry that you had to go through it, you know, as a first time viewer.

It's just, It's just not. Well, see, end of a dating show, and that's what it is. But also Ariana spoiled it, because she went on after sign. And she's like, so I can tell you what's going on. Because that's her Love Island voice, where she's like, girls. She's totally different on this show. But anyway, she's like, I can totally tell you what the last dates are. And then she told us all the last dates. I was like, well, I guess, I mean, I guess watching someone get on an ATV isn't

that much of a twist anyway. But I was like, thanks for a spoiler, spoiler, L'Herbiage. But it was- Well, what I was going to say though, that the, um, that the culmination of, of it, when they're reading their, their odes to each other, whatever, just going back to the Nicole thing, when she finally does profess her love for Kendall, she still doesn't say I love you. She goes, I'm in love with you. It's like, are you going to say I love you? Is that,

is that the same to say I'm in love with you as saying I love you? Um, no, but they make it that, you know, they make it all these steps. Like they make it a big deal to say I love you when they've sat there staring at each other and crying and sobbing over every little thing. Like, of course you're going to say that. You know what I mean? Like why is it such a shock that anybody would say that on a show called love Island, where you have to say it, you know, not to like, do you know, question the, question the process, but it's like, come on you know, not to like, you know, question the question, the process, but it's

like, come on, you guys, seriously. Yeah. So the finale, the finale was just drawn out of Pharaoh. So they all go on their dates. The first date, you can also see which ones the producers are pushing for because basically Kendall and Nicole and Serena and Cordell get the best dates by far. So they get like the first one is Kendall and Nicole, they go parasailing, they're up in the air, it's beautiful. They go to a private island. They have this lunch under the blazing hot

sun. Kendall is sweating the entire time. And you know, that may be the number one reason why she said she was not ready to say, I love you. She was like, I was about to say it, but seeing how sweaty you are, I'm seeing like, is this what my future is? Being with a sweaty, sweaty man for the rest of my life? I don't know if I'm ready to accept this. I'm a sweaty person, so I can't really say much about it. Unfortunately. I'm a sweaty person too. I'm just saying she may not have been very interested in that moment.

She's like, Oh God, he's a heavy sweater. I don't know. This could be an issue for us. She's having visions of the air conditioner being on really strong at night. And she's like, but I ran cold. And this is where she was saying all the red flag things like, God, normally the things you do, I wouldn't like, but I do like them with you. And, you know, look at you, it's just like when we met and you're still sweaty like that time. She said something like that where she commented on how sweaty he was.

And then he was just like falling all over himself, like, I can't wait to tell you, I really, I really, I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you, I'm in love, you don't have to say, you don't have to say. That's when he started that whole thing. That was a little cringe, but it was a a little cringe But it was a very pretty day It was a very pretty day and she's like, okay If you sit right here, the Sun is exactly behind you and you're just totally silhouetted and you kind of look like Harrison

So just say right there in that moment. Okay. Thanks So then who else will Monday well they all want on today So I'm gonna leave when they're not in on my date? I just wanted to tell you, Kenny, I can't wait until we go on a date together because then we can go in Texas and then we can dance together and then we can go meet your mom and then we can play in the rain together and then we can do a dish at Kenny. And then whenever he speaks, she's like, shut up, Kenny. And then whenever he speaks, she's like, shut up, Kenny. Yeah. She's like, well, Janee, I think that's a great idea.

I would love to do that. I hope that we can go on a date someday. You know what he always sounds like? He does. He sounds like he's in slow-mo. She's like, Kenny, what do you think we're going to do in real life when we're out of here, Kenny, what do you think we're going to do in real life when we're out of here, Kenny? What do you think we're going to do together? And he's like, I think that we're going to get together because it's going to be fun when you come home and then there's someone there at your house and you're not just alone

after your nine to five. She's like, wow, really romantic Kenny. So you want to be with me so there will be someone at your house when you come home from work. Sounds great. Sounds great for me. You know what I want to do, Janaye? I want to go on a date where we do the thing you get into the mud and they put the mud on your face you know and it's relaxing like a spa day. A spa Kenny?

Yeah. Oh Kenny a spa Kenny Kenny. Okay Kenny Kenny I want you to tell me Kenny. Okay how long do you think you need before you're ready to get married?" And he's like, um, I think like four or five years. I'm like, um, so you think like three years? He's like, maybe like four years.

And she's like, okay, so what I'm getting from you is three years, Kenny. I can do that. You're just putting answers into his head. He is telling you four or five years, don't make it three. I don't know that those two are as compatible as we think because every time she makes all this stuff up in her head and then when he really starts speaking, she's like, Kenny, don't say that.

I think they're actually perfect together because I think he's like, okay. Cause when he said four, I think that children, he's like, I want to have four kids. And she goes, uh, I want to have two. She goes, but I want, he's like, but I want four. He goes, okay, so we'll compromise it too. Or something like that. Or was it different? Were they talking about kids? I think, I don't remember it was kids or I think they talked about two different

things to be honest. I think it was both. I don't remember, but she basically calls the shots and I think he's just so happy to be just like, I think that sounds like a great idea. So then I can't wait to take you to put on jeans and cowboy boots and go to a rodeo. She's like, Oh, it's Kenny. And when they go on their date, they have, um, letters from their moms. And, and so, uh, so Kenny open, she reads a letter to him. That's from her mom, from his mom. Is this the one? No, this is the one where there's like shit hanging from the trees, right?

And there's like hundreds of notes hanging by the way. Yeah. So first they're like reading like little quotes from the trees. And so she's crying and they're all happy. And then they go and they sit down at dinner and then they're just like talking at dinner and then they go dancing. And then when they come back from dancing, they each have a letter at the table. And so, it's a show really relies on contact from the family. No, thank you. I don't want a tree of shit from my family. Like mine would just be like, Ronnie, you've got fucking Bette Midler posture. Seriously.

This is embarrassing. Straighten that. I just want Bette Midler to be there on my date. She's like, ladies and gentlemen, Bette Midler, you are the wind beneath my wings. That's all you get love Island. You have to pay me more for the whole song. Love letters, love letters. So yeah. So she reads the letter to Kenny from his mom. So then he opens up his letter and he goes, it's from your mommy.

And then he reads the letter and it's just like, you know, he's just like so happy. Every little surprise, his eyes just get really big and his face is like, wow. Like he's still amazed by peekaboo. Yeah, he is. He's still amazed by Peek-A-Boo. Yeah, he is. He's pretty amazed by everything that's happening, which is pretty cute.

Cause he tried to hide it at first. At first he was like cool guy. Yeah. So let's see, what else happened on this? So Leah and Miguel go on a date and they get on an ATV. And it's funny because she's like, um, I've written this like once before and she's, and Miguel is like, I've never, I've never written one of these, but get on board sweetheart.

And so then they ride this ATV and I'm like, that's kind of dangerous for a date. Like I just don't, I don't trust these two on an ATV, but they get to some shitty little, you know, table that's up in the mountains that has like, there's like an arbor, not an arbor, there's like a trellis and like some potted plants around. So they get kind of like a shitty day. You know, the producers were, producers were like, you guys are not like really are a story here.

So we'll just give you something on top of a hill and you guys can talk about our horses and then you can go back to the Villa. Yeah. And they don't really seem, I mean, it's so weird because they do seem kind of into each other, but I just don't see it lasting very long with those two. I don't know why. I don't see longevity there, even though I love them together, I don't see longevity. I like them both separately. You know what really bothers me about them? I don't like that he's always holding against her, her personality. He's always making it sound like he's like that he's always holding against her, her personality. He's always making it sound like he's

some fucking saint for forgiving her for going off that time about Aaron. And it really bothers me. At the end, they all wrote speeches for each other. And his speech was like, well, I know that sometimes you only see the bad in yourself, like that time you... Like he didn't literally say it, but it's kind of like he's referencing that, when he didn't like her personality that one time. And he's like, but you're getting so much better every day. It was something along those lines that just kind of... I just didn't like it. I was like, if you don't like someone... Age-adjusting. Yeah. And well, and also it's like, well, you were bitchy that one time, which I don't

like bitchy people because of my childhood. I don't like that kind of conflict. Well, guess what? When she gets mad, she's going to be like that. That's part of her personality. So you can't just be like, well, I like this part of you, but I don't like that kind of conflict. Well, guess what? When she gets mad, she's going to be like that. That's part of her personality. So you can't just be like, well, I like this part of you, but I don't like that part of you. And you're going to guilt her every time that part of her personality comes out. And I'm not saying we should all just be allowed to be ranted at all times or whatever, but I don't know. It's like, I didn't think she was that bad in that situation personally. I felt like Aaron deserved it. So I was already on her side in that, but I just feel like it's never ending. It's like one thing that he keeps consistently holding over her and kind

of holding over her head. And he doesn't seem to be terrible about it, but it does seem to be there and it seems to be brought up a lot. And I just don't like that. I want better for her. I want someone who's like, oh, I love that you told that fucking guy off, he deserved it. You know what I mean? I need that kind of point of view if you're going to be with me longterm, sir. Okay. Not that I'm projecting. Right. Well, I just liked that she's bringing back a super hot guy. I just, I don't know why. I'm like, you know what? They'll have fun. They'll have sex for weeks.

They'll have fun for a few, uh, they'll have sex for a few weeks and then he's going to move on and she'll move on and it'll be great. Um, then, uh, the last day, well, it was actually the third day, Janae and Kenny's word that was the last day. But the last one we've mentioned is Cordell and Serena and they drive off in like this vintage car and they get to this area where there was like a car trunk that's been converted into like a sofa and there's all these flowers around and they're going to watch a movie.

That's like a retrospective of their romance and Cordell's, you know, I love Cordell and I love how, I love how, how dim he is, but he's like, so sweet. He's like, I've always wanted to do this. What do they call it? A drive through. I'm like, it's a drive in sweetheart. Like a drive through is McDonald's. Like I love the idea that he might like, he's always wanting to go through to a drive through. And she is like, it's a driving. You know?

It's a driving. So they watched it and it was cute. By the way, did you notice that What's Her Buns? Nicole was trying to copy Serena's personality a little bit. Like she's trying to copy her laugh. Cause you know how Serena laughs like, she has like a squeal kind of laugh. And then this episode,

Nicole was trying to do it. And I was like, Nicole, just stop, Nicole, stop it. Anyway, Serena and Cordell. Okay, so they go on this date and Cordell is amazed at everything. He wasn't even there the first time, which was really funny. He goes five minutes into it, because they did show up wearing matching outfits, which was super cute. They they came in fluorescent green. And so like halfway through the movie he goes, wow, we're kind of matching. It's like, okay. And then the little things that happened, he took note of, and then when he had to write the romantic letter, the only things that he mentioned were in that video. He was only repeating the things that they showed him clips of, and I was like, this poor thing, can't we even remember more than like 10 minutes ago?

You know, he's like, remember when we showed up wearing the same colors? I was like, yeah, you just got reminded two seconds ago and you were shocked that that even happened. So. They were like, well, the producers were like, well, we had to make this video so that way Cordell could remember anything to write about.

So as long as we made this video, we might as well make it part of his date. We're just giving him a cheat sheet. Yeah, essentially. Yeah. They're like, for your date, Serena will be wearing something that says, hello, my name is Serena. Like, wow. I know.

I love your name. Cordell just looks up and goes, shit, I'm dating you? Wow. It's amazing. I also liked when they got back from their dates, they would all like, they'd come back and be like, tell everyone about their dates. And for some reason it cracked me up that when Janae and Kenny got back from their dates, Janae was like, so it was really pretty and we got letters from our moms.

And everyone just clapped. It was like, oh! It's like, wow, you guys are bored. You guys are bored. Well, yeah, whenever anybody came back, they're like, oh my god! No! They served us arm, shoes, no!

Stop it, tell us more! There's nothing to do in that villa. So, god, this has been a really fun, uh, 10 minute mini recap. Hey, so let's go, let's talk about the end. Yeah, let's talk about it. So first of all, Nicole speak. My big critique of Nicole was that dress she was wearing for the end, like that, that kind of like that light blue, it was actually crap in his blue, but it was like, it was like draped and wrapped around the thing.

It looked crazy. And I was like, really? This is how you're going to end the show with this. But that was like, it was like draped and wrapped around a thing. It looked crazy. And I was like, really? This is how you're going to end the show with this. But that was just, that's just my note. So anyway, they, they all do their, they just reminded me of another Nicole thing. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but in the episode in the last episode, the last big real episode when they were kicking off people and someone was safe. I think Kayla and Aaron were safe and they... No, Kayla and Erin were kicked off and Leah and Miguel, I think, were safe. And then it looked like Nicole and Kendall

were really mad and the internet got super pissed off about that. Oh yeah. Yeah, the internet got really mad at that. Yeah. What do you think that was about? I think it was just that they were friends with Kayla and Erin, right? And the other people have their trio. Like the girls, those girls, the three, Leah, Serena and Janae all have their kind of trio of besties, right? And Nicole's not included in that. And it's really awkward that Nicole's not, because now all the other girls are like, we're just like sisters. Nicole's like, hi guys. They keep on doing that. Yeah. Yeah. They keep on doing that. I was like, this is kind of obnoxious.

Because I feel like at every moment, Leah's like, and I found like my sisters were live. Not you, Nicole. Serena. Not you. They even said at one point she's like, Serena and Janay and we've adopted Nicole. And Nicole's like, thanks. Thanks for welcoming. Like they remember like, uh, you know what it was Miguel and, um, when Miguel and Leah were safe, didn't Leah and Serena and Janae have this giant long hug? Yeah. That happened right then. And it went on for like, it went on forever. And like Nicole's like, wow,

I guess I'm not worthy of a hug in this instance. So, okay. I see where I stand. Yeah. So I think that's why that they were mad, but I guess that they were just closer with Aaron and Kayla or whatever. I mean, I don't know, I didn't take it as being that offensive, but then after I saw the internet do it, I watched some clips

and I was like, oh wow, that did seem kind of shady that they were acting like that, but I didn't know if there was something that I was missing, because you know, I would. Yeah, I don't know either. I mean, Kendall was best friends with Rob, so, or he claimed, well, I don't know if Rob was best friends with Kendall, but Kendall was best friends with Rob. So, or he claimed, well, I don't know if Rob was best friends with Kendall,

but Kendall was best friends with Rob. You don't have to call me your best friend. You don't have to call me your best friend right now. But when you're ready to call me your best friend, I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there right outside your window probably. Just open your window. I'll be there waiting.

Not waiting desperately, but waiting. Waiting nonetheless. So yeah, Ariana comes out and they line up and Kendall and Nicole are, are out first, which was, I, again, I was really surprised. And then third place went to Janae and Kenny, which is about right, just because they're so new. And I guess they're not that new though, but they're new enough. And um, I was not surprised about Nicole because I feel like she, her game plan didn't work out of like withholding cause she did finally say I

love you to Kendall. Uh, well I'm in love with you, which you said, she finally did that. I don't think that it worked out for her like she wanted because I think people were like, well, how can you win? We're not voting for you if you got, if you didn't even say I love you, you know? Right. And, um, and then Kendall, Kendall, once they were out, I was like, it's gotta be Cordell and Serena because they were the closest competition. I thought so. Uh, Leah and Miguel, you know, came in second.

They were shocked. I think they were absolutely shocked that they were up there like as in second place, but it was ultimately Serena and Cordell and it was so cute. And then they go through this thing, they do it every single year. And it's so strange where like after they have one, then they're like one person gets a hundred thousand, one gets zero, or they're going to choose lover money. And like, I don't, and all the seasons I've ever watched, no one's ever chosen the money.

And it's weird because they never play up that angle. They never play up this angle. Like it's not like fuck boy, fuck boy Island, where it's like, are they here for the right reasons? Are they here just for the money? Like all season long, they never really mention it. They don't make it like a thing that's in the back of our head. It's just like this, oh, here's an interesting, you know, question to ask right at the end. Do you really love this person or do you want to take a hundred thousand dollars? And they're always going to go for the person, even if they want the hundred thousand dollars, because they know they would look like such big dick, like such a big dick to do it.

Yeah, I think they're just trying to like pretend at least for one second that they're any kind of a game, because there's nothing making this a game. I don't understand how this is a game at all. It's just like semi-hot people sitting around talking about feelings that they're just faking to get Instagram likes to me, but it's still fun. So I think that they're just like semi-hot people sitting around talking about feelings that they're just faking to get Instagram likes to me. But it's still fun. So I think that they're just like, remember, it's a game show. Now, did you see the preview? Did you see the preview for the show that's

going to come on, that's going to take over the country next? It's about the footballers, the footballers living in a house and then they have to pick all these girls and then the girls are competing for the footballers in the house. Footballers like British footballers or like American football. Oh, I did not see that at all. That's, that's interesting. And we see that, by the way, there is going to be a love Island reunion. Arianna was like, guys, I, I'll be seeing you all very soon because we'll all be back to get there. soon because we'll all be back to get there.

Like, come on, spit it out. Just say it. She's like the love Island reunion on August 19th. So we're going to wait a month for that reunion. I imagine the game plan is let some, let some other shoes drop a little bit. Now they get to the outside world, see who's still friends with who, see who's going to break up. And the classic, you got to watch the show to see what shit everybody talked about you. So they have to get mad about whatever was on the show, right?

Exactly. They got to see all of that. They got to just sort of build it and like let people who are behind on the Love Island train catch up a little bit. So looking forward to that. We'll see everybody. Well, this was super fun. This was a fun little jaunt into a crazy world. I'm so proud of you, Ronnie. I'm so proud of you that you finally dipped your toes into Love Island. Yeah, those fun times.

It was a full foot. It was a full foot. It wasn't just a toe dip. Well, that was a good time. Thanks so much everybody for being with us on this very special month of craziness with Love Island over here on Patreon. This has been a really, really good time. It has been so fun. Thanks everyone and thank you, thank you Love, thank you Cupid. And we'll catch you on the next one. Bye everyone! I think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!

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