Watch What Crappens - #2505 RHOC S18E04 Part 2: Don’t Get All Putt Hurt

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

This is part 2!Katie hosts a golfing event on The Real Housewives of Orange County, and just when she thinks she’s got a hole-in-one against Heather, it turns out to be more of a bogey.  Watch this recap as a video and get our Love Island bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So then we go to Jen at home and she's packing with Ryan and she's doing her own makeup,

which is a big storyline today. And she's like, Oh, I'm just, I'm trying to learn how to do this. Like, it's really hard. Like doing my own makeup. I mean, does this even look like an eyelash, Ryan? I mean, is it on? Is it distracting? Is it a caterpillar? What is it? Oh my God, is it a caterpillar? Thank you, caterpillar. Thank you for all the good advice you gave me. Because without you, I would just be like following some random white rabbit and really not understanding the context of anything. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much, caterpillar. And if resting on someone's eyelid is part of your practice today, then namaste. So Ryan's like, they're going to be going to Vegas. They're going to go see a concert in Vegas.

And Jen is feeling conflicted because she's afraid that everyone's going to be really judgy. They're like, oh, wow, she's going to say that she's broke yet she's going to Vegas. And he's like, yeah, well, they're going to be judging no matter what you do. So might as well do it, you know, and she's like, but you know, and the thing is that like, you don't even let me pay for anything ever. You know, and Emily took another chap last night. So we see a flashback to last night and at the bar and Emily is, and Jenna was wearing Emily's coach. Emily's like, is that my coat? You look like you have money. I don't. I know.

I find her so unamusing. Like, I just don't get why that's hilarious. Tamale. I think that's so shitty. And Jen's like, well, I have a feeling that if that was Emily, like no one would be laughing about it. You know? I mean, no one would be like, oh, Emily's broken, still going out of town, you know? And if we were married, no one would think like that. Which is also a good point, you know? Is a good point. And we know it's true because we sat through like four years of Gina being broke and no one like was mean to her like that. So Jen is like, I'm just like constantly judged by the group because I've like moved in with my boyfriend because my house is still big and my car is still nice. Thank you so much. And Ryan's like, you know what bank accounts come and

go, but being rich in your soul and your spirit, that's what matters. I mean, who you are as a person, how many disgusting shirts you can wear at any given day, that really shows the true test of your character. Just him talking about money with all of his current legal troubles is like, oh. You know, bank accounts come and go. Sometimes they're yours, sometimes they're not. Sometimes they're other people's.

Sometimes they're going from other people's into yours. Sometimes they're going from yours into the federal government's. You just never know. So you know what? The point is, let's go see Huey Lewis in the news while we still can, okay? I know, while we're young.

So she's just like, I'm just like so hypersensitive to where I sit right now. And it's just, I feel like I'm not equivalent to the woman in my life. Just really, really pisses me off. I'm like, Jen, you're on the same cast as Heather DeBrow. You're not equivalent. I'm sorry.

You may not in terms of like personality, but in terms of wealth, you're not. And so like, you just have to be, just, you have to be okay with that. You came onto a show with Heather DeBrow. Yeah. So she goes, yeah, Ryan, you know, like my head right now, I mean, there's just, there's not a lot of space.

Well said, very well said. So then she talks about how they opened their yoga studio during COVID and they had to get a modified rent arranged, but then the new landlord came in and served a lawsuit for the back rent of like hundred, like a hundred and thirty thousand dollars or something. Why are you renting a place that that's expensive? Did anybody do the math of like, okay, if I make $50 a class, how many classes would they have to teach to pay the rent?

That's crazy. I get the feeling that Jen doesn't think things through. I mean, exhibit A, Ryan, exhibit B, really everything else happening in her life. Not to hit her when she's down because that's the thing that I've been so annoyed with Gina for because she has hit hard times and it sucks. It really, really does suck.

But there are times where like, well, Jen, there are some better decisions you could make sometimes. You could- No, she makes terrible decisions. She makes terrible decisions. I mean, look, she left her husband, she cheated with this guy, then left her husband and just assumed that he was going to continue paying for this extravagant lifestyle, which is crazy. I mean, she makes stupid decisions. My issue isn't that she makes stupid decisions. It's just the other ladies are so mean to her about it. It's like, geez, you don't have to yell at the lady. My God.

As if they don't make stupid decisions too. I think, well, the thing with Gina that's so frustrating is that we've sat and watched Gina in a very similar position for so long. And now Gina has a little bit of a leg up and the first thing she does is just totally slam the door behind her in a certain sense. And so it's just very frustrating, but Jen is, she is a very sweet ding dong and she needs to sort of like, she needs to get it together. So, um, then we go to Katie and husband having a date night at Javier's. And he's like, I've been up all day, which I think is so funny because, uh, that's just so me. It's like, um, I got up this morning and it's dinner time and I'm still up

and someone's going to pay for this. He apparently woke up at 1am to do a podcast. Um, wow. What's the only way to make it? I don't know, but like the only, like, you know, it's a great way to make a golf podcast more exciting. Record it at 1 a.m. when you're most tired. Be exhausted.

All right, let me see. Matt Janella podcast, let's see. Maybe he was a reporter. The fire pit podcast. In this fire drill podcast, Matt Janella and Adam Shipnut go deep on the complicated negotiations around the framework agreement. That cannot be the same. I guarantee that has nothing to do with golf.

So anyway, she tells a story about her and Matt. So they met. The fire pit it's called, I'm sorry. From PGA Tour players, caddies, architects, avid amateurs and buddies, trip planners, Matt has forged relationship. Yeah. So I think he's an architect and a golf person. Oh, sorry.

Go ahead, Ben. I care too much. I can't. So it's basically it's a big long boring scene where she talks like she talks about how they first met and basically he stood her up and, and I don't know how or why she kept talking with him after that, but he stood her up in front of all her friends and the reason why was because he was tired. But they still stayed with it.

And anyway, she now wants to put together a golf event for all the ladies and we see a flashback to the mani-pedi scene again. And she's like, well, I was thinking we can have some cocktails and drive in the golf car. I was thinking we could call the event, I don't know, drinking and driving and just cause the Shannon's face like, Oh, that's a spirited title for an event. I'll just, I'm just gonna purse my lips and look at my toes and pretend that I am in a totally different city.

Well, I can choose to be offended or I can recognize that as a decent joke and wait for her to talk about yellow pus coming out of her vagina and offer her a job as our third. I wonder if Katie would object to being put in a sombrero. Hmm, just well, tricky and driving, a funny, funny event name. Very funny. We should probably come up with a different name for the event. How about cake with Drake, which is what I have. Or how about, wait, wait, I've got one.

I live next to Drake. How about that? It just is right to the point. Says exactly what it is. So Katie is talking about I can't. Katie's boring me. Oh, but she does like Jen because Jen has adopted a kid and Katie was adopted, so she likes that about her. And that's so far the only person that she seems to really like. So then we go to Katie coming over to Gina's house and she brings a gift, you know, which of course Gina needs. For the sake.

And Gina's like, so today I had a busy, oh, we get closeups of Gina's house. And Ben and I were talking before the show with a friend about this. And Ben did not notice all these signs at Gina's house. They were so funny. And we need to, well, I'll write them down for next week because... I'll keep an eye open. They're literally everywhere. The word art eye open. I can't do that. They're literally everywhere.

The word art is back. Gina has brought it back. It's like, look at me, I'm a metal sign. It's like, wow, you got a sign that says I'm a metal sign? Or it's like, look, I'm on the living room table. You know what I think happened, Ronnie? I think when I saw that we were arriving at Gina's house, that was when I looked out at my phone and started checking emails until they started talking.

I think I was not looking at the screen. That's the only way I can describe what happened. It turns to a Gina scene and you just go onto your Bank of America website to make sure you've got something in your account. I was like, it's a Gina scene. Let me read about headlines in the world. That's more fun.

You know, it would make this more interesting. Um, presidential politics. Let me go on Twitter. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, we're at Gina's house. I sadly miss all the word art. Laundry. Refrigerator.

Hungry. Home is where the refrigerator is. Home is where half the heart is because the other heart had to move up the street. So Gina is like, she's saying like, Oh my god, today I had like a busy day and then like at a meeting on zoom. And like now everyone's at Travis's house and like, you know, what God what God he's like up the road and just feel bad because it's just like, like really weird to spend the night at like my house, like without Travis, it's like lonely and I like feel like we broke off and just like feel shitty. So it's like not grass. Do you know you made this decision?

You kicked him out. Do you like you like this glitter canvas I just had? It just got from Home Goods. It says I feel bad. But I love that Gina moves right up the street to get the fuck away from Travis but still makes him babysit. I mean, Gina's Gina's kind of an asshole, but she's not an idiot. So I will hand her that. So she has a contractor later to coming over because her kids have decided they want some kind of a split in their room, like they want a curtain coming down the center of their

room, which yeah, of course, of course they do. Who wouldn't? Oh my God, for Christ's sake, I'd be like, can I please just sleep in a tent in the backyard? Please do not make me share a room anymore. She's like, well, it turns out we don't have the budget for a curtain in the middle of the room, but I did buy a sign from Marshalls that says curtain and they just have to imagine. So then we cut crisscross this scene with Emily going over to Tamra's and Tamra's like, uh-huh, welcome to my mom's casino. Yeah,

I'm just looking it over because my mom moved out, that stupid bitch. Look at this, the wall's all scratched up. Guess what wall that is? That's the same part of the wall that the bed was against because she's such a slut. And then we see a picture of the mom's boyfriend, the sample guy from the Costco. With his wig. I forgot that he had shaved the middle of his eyebrows with a straight razor just going straight up so his eyebrows don't even start

until the middle of his face. But it's just like Dan Hedaya and he's just got like his split part like wig up top and like an Abercrombie shirt. Like, you know, I just always imagined with a skateboard be like, hey kids, I'm just one of the kids right now. No. And the two of them, like they just one of the one of the kids right now.

The two of them, like they just cracked me up. Like I imagine like him walking into a scene with a boombox like what's going on kids. Yeah. Yeah. And then we have a clip of Sandy saying, well, the first time that we had sex was at Eddie's birthday party. Happy birthday to me. And I didn't remember that she said at Eddie's birthday party. Happy birthday to me. And I didn't remember that she said at Eddie's birthday party. Ew. It's, it's, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot to take in.

Okay. Everybody on this show is obsessed with fireplace balls. So much. Have you noticed? So Shannon has them. She had, they look like, to me, they look like cannonballs, like from Pirates of the Caribbean, the ride at Disneyland, where there's always the little balls and they're like tossing at each other and the mannequins are blowing each other up. But Shannon has

those in her fireplace and we see Tamara's fireplace and she's got a ton of them in her fireplace. Are there other things other than balls? Because I need some fireplace stuff. But the balls, I don't like the balls. What's the point of the balls? I don't know, instead of logs. Oh, so, oh. You know, balls that you can burn, but I don't know, like I would like some stars or some like, I don't know, like maybe like heads, maybe things that look like wig.

Oh, that would be cool. Like wig heads and it would just look like hands. Hands. What about a whole bunch of small Olympic torches? I am wondering if I could get like wig heads that are fire safe. That would be badass to just have like a big wig head in there. It's like a flaming head on fire and we could ask it questions and stuff at dinner parties. It'd be like, mek-a-lek-a-ha, mek-a-he-ni-ho.

Yeah. Okay. Sorry. That's neither here nor there, everybody. So they are talking about pot. Emily's pretending she doesn't understand what pot is, because Tamara has her weed business, and she's like, Oh, what's your part is it? HHBC? I gotta I gotta so she's like, Tamra's saying like, but the way patch I was shocked that Gina said she had an issue with us being friends, which that was Gina did not say that. Okay. I will defend Gina here because then we see a flashback all the beginning of the season and Gina goes up to Tamra and Emily and she was like, Oh my God, I'm like, man, you stole my best friend. It was just like a, to me, that was like a little jokey thing. But of course, Tamra's like, I can't believe

it. She's like so possessive, batch. Yeah, and Emily's like, not really. And she goes, Yeah, well, she's hanging out with Katie about those, aren't you? But then she's hanging out with Katie now. Oh, what's she going to suck off and have when she's there? Hey, if you're so in love with Katie, why don't you just get married to her already? And then we cut back over to Katie and Gina, where we resume the relatively new tradition

of wealthy people bringing clothes to Gina for her to wear. So. And then Gina judging them. That's what cracks me up. Gina's one of those people that like, you hand them a sandwich under a bridge and they're like, no, I don't eat tuna. Literally under a bridge.

Sorry, maybe that's not the best way to put it. Okay, just let's just all best way to put it. Okay. Just let's just all start taking golf dresses to people under bridges. Dan. So Katie's like, Katie's having a golf party. So she's making everybody wear golf clothes and they're not even Katie's golf clothes. They're a friend of hers golf club. Katie is too attached to golf. And spoiler alert, we find out in this episode that Katie sucks at golf. She's not even good at it. And spoiler alert, we find out in this episode that Katie sucks at golf.

She's not even good at it. Katie. The golf thing is just like, I just, you know what I want from Katie? I want her to be so absurdly wealthy. Like she talks like she's someone who's so wealthy that she's completely out of touch with reality. She has a million people on her staff

doing everything for her. And I was like, ah, the perfect foil for Heather DeBrow. But it turns out she's just a, like a sideline reporter who covers a lot of golf, doesn't actually play it very well. She's not wealthy. And you can tell, first of all, because she's trying to promote clothes

that aren't even hers, which screams like I'm getting 10%. And that she married a guy who ditched her to completely sit her up on her first date. That is crazy to me. I mean, you really must need money if you're gonna go on another date with that asshole. Hell no.

Yeah, yeah. You already look like a piece of wet bread and now I have to pretend to like you after you just stood me up because you were tired? Fuck outta here. So she brings over this brand. She's like, well, it's my friends. My friends company is called Malabon.

Okay. And so they're trying it on. And you know, it's like, oh my God, you know what, because Gina looks at and she's like, oh, gross disgusting. And she's like, I've never been accused of having a poker face. I hope she doesn't like make me wear that. But then she remembers that it's like free clothing. So she goes and puts it on.

Yeah. And then she picks a dress that she can stand, you know, and Katie's like, Well, Heather texted me about clothing. And I said, We don't have to wear it. It's a gift, Heather. It's a gift. She's like, Oh, boy the way, we should talk about the paps because I feel bad. I feel really bad about it. Well, you know, I just thought it was like a silly thing. It's like, well, she's not going to like that. And then we go back to Emily and Emily's like, you know what bothers me about those photos, those Debrow photos? She was adamant that they didn't call the paps. And Tim was like, oh yeah, I knew she knew, I knew, I knew, they're opposing, they're

opposing, batch. And Katie's like, yeah, I mean, they were like, oh, look at that over there. It's a bird. I mean, look, it's a Mickey Mouse. I mean, it was just silly, just silly, wasn't it? And Tam was like, yeah, well, I can't tell you. She's asked to go to places where there's paparazzi outside, like Quicks. And I think that she thinks that's good for her career, which is fine.

It's just not for me. You know, I'm not thirsty like that. You are on a reality TV show and you're back on a reality TV show and you have a podcast commenting about reality TV shows. Yeah. So Gina's like, well, last year, Tamara accused Heather of staging those photos. And you know what I said back then? I was like, I feel bad. And then there was a fight and that made me feel so bad. And you know, I just know that Heather's going to be pissed

at you and that's going to make me feel so bad for you too. Tamara's like, you know, it's funny when someone gets mad because you know that they're guilty. Okay. And it's funny when Heather gets caught. Which is kind of true. It is funny when someone gets mad because you know that they're guilty. Okay. And it's funny when Heather gets caught. Which is kind of true. It is funny when Heather gets caught doing shit. Sam is like, yeah, that's what it is. You know, it's vindication. And also, I would like for Fancy Pants to get caught with her fancy pants around her ankle, like when I pee in bushes. I would find that amusing. I would find that amusing. She's wearing this like construction cone orange crop top dress with big chain links

holding it all together out of like fake plastic marbled wood. What the fuck? How is it that this show is consistently so poorly dressed over years? I mean, it's season 18 and it's impressive that they can do this every year. And that is one thing that Emily does bring to the show. Yes, she really maintains that tradition. So Tamara's like, that's why I like going to Big Bear. There's no Pops there. Yes, Tamara needs to slink away from those flashing light

bulbs that are always hiding in her hedges. Must retreat to Big Bear. Commercials. Here comes one right now. My name is Georgia King, and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondry Plus, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink, and listen to will all be up to my very special guests. We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip around Disneyland. We'll eat a bowl of life-changing pasta with Jimmy O'Yang in Tuscany, Italy. And how do you feel about a spot of sugaring off

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I think I'm hearing it right now. Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived. We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Zifrin. And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world, to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty.

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Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more of the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black History for Real. I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like, stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around.

She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well, you were holding something back. And tension, I. Yeah, well, yeah.

No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios.

Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then back to Katie. Katie's like, yeah, it's so silly, but you know, I have this friend, her name is Cynthia, and Heather's new to the social circle that Cynthia's already in,

because you know Heather moved to LA, which of course everybody knows knows Heather really moved to LA trying to get on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And Gina's like, yeah, and so you think that she feels protective of her LA group? She goes, yeah, because she went to a birthday party that Heather was invited to, and she said that Heather beelined for her and said,

hi, I'm Heather, how do you know Katie Janela? I mean, that's the only thing she asked her. She's like, you know, weird things have happened between us. And I just, I hope we can move on. And the best way we can move on is if I just talk to everyone about the weird things and turn the cast against her. So she was like, you know, I'm just like nervous, you know, cause like everyone knows. And cause like I'm friends with Heather and like, I think you need an opportunity to talk to her. Cause if you don't, I'm friends with Heather and like, I think you need an opportunity to talk to her because if you don't, I'm gonna tell her like you are such a shit friend. Like that is like, Gina's like, Oh, what Gina's thinking is, I'm gonna get in trouble and

I don't want to get in trouble. So you have to fucking do this. It's like, well, you know, it's like, listen, I was talking behind her back with you. But now you've made it public. And you've you've brought me into talking behind her back in front of everybody and I'm not gonna go to Heather because I want you to confront Heather about this, not me, because I don't want to get in trouble for starting shit with Heather, but now that you've made it that everybody's gonna do it, Heather's gonna get mad at me for not going to Heather to tell Heather about it. So I'm in trouble now and that's your fault because I was able to fly into the radar and be shady before, but now you're making it

so that I'm not telling Heather. So I'm gonna go on record as saying, I'm gonna tell Heather. Like she's so, she's the worst. Like you're still not calling Heather and telling her, you're still letting Heather get completely slaughtered and surprised on TV, so. Yeah, she's like, it's more, I have to cover my ass

and if you have to be the sacrificial lamb, then so be it. Because she knows that if she doesn't say that something to Heather, she knows it's only a matter of time before before Tamara, or Emily tell Heather and then Gina doesn't want Heather to say like, why didn't you tell me I thought we were friends, you know, so Gina is just she's trying to cover the her ass for the fact that she is being she actually ultimately was being a shitty friend by talking about Heather behind her back. Yeah. So then, um, I think what he's just said.

Yeah, but you know, agreed. So then we go over to a painting of Archie, which is glorious. I love that dog. Fucking love Archie, man. And Shannon tanning is only Shannon can. What are we? Is this Tiana? Was my leg white before or was it brown? I don't even know anymore! I fell down! If this is bronzer, I think I just got the gold. And wackiness! Da da da da da da da!

Okay, write this down. This goes in the show. USA! USA! USA, USA. USA, USA. Oh, hold on one second. Sorry, I'm just getting paralyzed thinking about John Jansen. Okay, I'm back. I'm back. If this sport, if getting paralyzed thinking about John Jansen was a sport, I'd be a gold medalist in the Paralyze Vault. Let me tell you something. I've got a gold medal in track and feel.

As in I'm tracking John Jansen and I'm feeling all sorts of things. David would be winning a golden beach slut ball. I can't think of any other events because I'm still paralyzed by John Jansen. Break my heart dancing, which is a new sport that John's already very good at. Yes, I'm very excited to see the results in the long jump or should I say the long leap of logic that it takes to sue me for $75,000? I'm right. Oh, God, a pale blonde peacock.

So, then we go over to Emily, FaceTiming Gina, who's doing her own makeup, and Gina's like, I asked my daughter, Toto, what to wear, and he said that I should wear pink. Isn't that funny? I was going to wear blue, but then I was like Toto if I wear blue I'd feel so bad. Oh my god, did you see that Jen was in Vegas? And I was like, yeah, I don't even know what to say about that.

And then we see Ryan and Jen in front of the sphere and they're like, yeah, baby. Now, admittedly, Jen can do whatever she wants with her money. But that being said, yes, people are being judgy, especially with Gina, of all people, should not be judgy. That being said, maybe don't post a story in front of the Las Vegas Sphere where tickets are $1,000 each. OK, let's maybe all of them. Are they, though?

I mean, the Sphere is like the, they're standing outside of it, aren't they? It's like everybody can see that for free. It's like taking a picture in front of the flamingo. You know what I mean? And he goes, yeah, buddy. If you're going to judge her, judge her for dating Ryan. You know what I mean? There's just so many better things to judge her for than just being poor. Then making, still making Jersey Shore, yeah buddy sounds 15 years after that show peaked. I, yeah, I mean, it's like, it is implied that they're gonna go see a concert

inside the Sphere. We don't know if they really are going to. For all we know, they're going to Bally's to watch, you know, really are going to, for all we know, they're going to Bally's to watch, you know, the Thompson twins or something. Is Bally still a thing? I don't know. Kick me off the podcast at this point.

Well, listen, as someone who went to the desert to see Liza Minnelli when I was 13, I'm really not here to throw stones at people. And by the way, that was still one of the best things that ever happened to me. That's when I was like for sure gay. I mean, I was pretty for sure gay before then, but you don't know when you're that young. But I think that everybody pretty much knew then. When she started scarf dancing, I think I convulsed. That's amazing. I saw her in her prime. Yeah. You were past her prime. But. You saw her in her prime.

But her prime, it was her prime. I felt like that was her prime because when it was like really her prime, like when she was doing Coke on Broadway and stuff like that, I mean, I guess that was her prime or doing movies and stuff like that. But I think her killing it in Vegas was her prime. I think that was her ultimate prime.

Like the key was that like she was, she was like at maximum, she was still like moving around and doing the whole thing. Oh, she was amazing. Yeah, she was, I mean, I was a baby. I was just a little tiny baby. So it was a long time ago. But okay, anyway, why are we, that's how gay I am. I'm like, let's stop talking about housewives

and get even gayer and talk about Liza Minnelli when I was 13. Okay, so then we cut to Gina. So Gina's like, well, maybe instead of going to Vegas, you should work and make a payment. You know, those curtains aren't gonna hang themselves in the middle of your child's room. I'll tell you that.

And what do you want to bet that Jen paid for professional makeup for this? And then we cut to Jen getting professional makeup done. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for doing this. Yeah. I tried putting the caterpillars on myself and the other day I was doing yoga in the parking lot

and I actually crashed my car into a stop sign because I couldn't see. I'm just not meant to do my own caterpillars. You know, I asked my kids, do you mind if we don't have Taco Tuesday for the next three Tuesdays? And just nothing at all?" And they said, sure, mom, we want you to have glam. So here we are. You know, it's my choice.

So then we go to golf day and everyone's arriving at this golf course. It looks cold as usual. I don't know why they film this show always in the winter. This is like sunny Southern California and every place they go to always looks so cold. Yeah, I didn't even notice it was cold, but I'll tell you these two, maybe it's just these two. She is dating a snowman. She's dating kind of a very pasty, pasty person who's got a giant camel toe, by the way, or a moose knuckle, I guess. He's got huge saggy balls. So, sorry, it's just things I notice. So I'm going from Liza Minnelli to this dude's saggy balls and his cackles. Well, it's a good segue. It's a good segue to what Katie says next. She says, you know, golf is very conservative. And you know, with these ladies, the balls they

talk about are not the balls I talk about. I talk about golf balls. They talk about I talk about golf balls. They talk about John Jansen's balls. Yeah. Big balls. Huge. Ha. Ha. Ha. That was some golf jokes. Golf jokes there. So everybody starts arriving and Katie's like, I just want them to have good golf drinks. Oh, my God. Give it up. Get a personality. Jesus Christ. So Heather is like, listen, I have four children and I've done my time at mini golf. I like diamonds, champagne, Drake. Golf is not my favorite pastime, to be honest. Yeah.

So, and Heather of course shows up with like a giant box of Dom Perignon. Like, you know, she's like, here, I brought some Dom. I brought some, you have to be nice to me. I brought you very expensive champagne. So enjoy, enjoy. Gina brought some, you have to be nice to me. I brought you very expensive champagne. So enjoy, enjoy. Gina, what did you bring? A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Okay, very nice, very nice. Nothing else? Well, I got a phone number for my friend, Tom. No, it just doesn't really hit the same, does it? Poor Gina. Well, whoever wins today golf, I got a prize of Prada sunglasses. And Gina goes, Oh my God, suddenly I love golf. Do you think that there's there big enough

sunglasses that I could put them in the center of the room so my my children could be in underwear and not make each other uncomfortable? So people more people are showing up Shannon shows up up in pink and, um, Tamra's like, my plan has always been to be cordial with Shannon. I don't golf. So I guess it means that we don't have to talk at all. Ha. Um, and then there's like hugging and Gina hugs with hugs, Heather, and she was like, Oh my God, I need to catch up with you. Cause apparently it's like up and down. It's like, it's hard with like stuff with like Travis and like he moved up and like up and down. And like last night was horrible

cause he like basically is like trying to break up with me. And I was like, no, like don't break up. Like, you know, you have three months to break up with me. Like you don't break up with me now. And it's just like, it's like really hard and I feel bad. Anyway, it was great talking with you. It's like, do you need to talk with her? Like you're just, it's like so up and down.

It's like all your shit. He is so up and down right now. I thought, yeah, cause they make it look like Gina's gonna be like, Heather, we're just so up and down. You're so up and down right now. I thought, yeah, because they make it look like Gina's going to be like, Heather, we have to talk. This chick Katie's been talking shit about you. I like her, but you guys should work it out. But instead she's like, I'm so with Sian, because it's really hard with Triath. So then Matt meets the ladies and Heather goes, oh, you're Matt.

Oh, I didn't understand. You're the husband. Oh, great. How wonderful to meet you and your balls. So thank you. Nice to meet you as well. Please pass by so I can say, was his name John? I just need to know.

So when I tag him in this Instagram post nonsensically later, I know who I'm tagging. Oops, I accidentally tagged my new dear friend, John Legend. Ha ha ha. So they're playing golf and everything and they're learning how to golf and yada yada yada. Shannon is wacky. She's like, well, I need I need to learn golf because you know what? I'm single. I'm at retirement age and I am. I've got a lot of polo shirts that I could use as a costume.

So bring it on. So then Katie's like, so honey, if we tie, we have a hole-off, right? And he's like, it's called a playoff. She's like, whatever. And then we find out, Katie doesn't even know what she's talking about. A hole-off, you're gonna have a hole-off?

And Gina's like, Everyone's okay at golf, but shockingly, Katie sucks. She's from the golf world. Golf is kind of our passion, but I'm not very good at it. I put a lot of Koreans to shame. Then everyone's playing golf and Emily wins because I guess they're keeping score of this like faux miniature golf. I went it live, so why wouldn't I win it? I mean, wow. I mean, that was really good. And I'll tell you one thing I aimed really good in there. My P because I totally P right there. By the way, you might want to take the tag off of those product glasses. And Jen is like, normally I'd be so happy for Emily, but she's not nice to me. So why'd she have to win? Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you guys. Thank you so much for having me here at golf. And Katie's like,

Heather, I heard that you loved hot dogs. So I have brought a hot dog bar to golf day and Heather goes, oh, thank you. I love hot dogs. Guys, let's gather around. I love hot dogs. Poor people put them in between two bonds and then they, bonds Heather. You know, I love hot dogs so much that I'm going to now tell all of America in a confessional

how much I especially love pigs in carpeting. It's a blanket. I'm sorry. I enjoy horses in a blanket. No, no, you got the pigs right the first time. I enjoy wallpaper. No, you're just, you're just talking about something else. I enjoy Richard Marks. So we go to Tamara and Emily gossiping about telling Heather, are we going to tell Heather

about the paparazzi rumors from Katie? And Heather walks right up. She's like, what's the story over here? Is anybody going to talk to me? Are you all still in shock watching me eat poor people's food? talk to me. Are you all still in shock? Watching me eat poor people's food? Anybody talk to me? And Tamra's like, Okay, well, we went out and Kenny said some things about you that are very concerning. She said that you got the paparazzi and you tell them where you are all the time. Are they here right now? It's the paparazzi in the room with us. Did you tell them? Look at that has a camera following us right now. That's a

production camera. We're on a TV show. I love once again, Tamra twists it because Kay just said that Heather and Terry called the pop paparazzi in Disneyland, but now Tamra said, she said you call them anyway you go. So of course Tamra is, is massaging. And it's just funny because Heather has learned that Tamara does not speak the truth all the time or she fudges the truth or she manipulates it. And yet she just lists takes this face value.

I mean, as it happens, it's fairly close to the truth. There's actually a pretty good job for Tamara. But so now Heather is mad, she's pursing your lips. She's like, after I just ate those hot dogs for her. So she's like, okay, well, tell her to bring the proof, bring the proof, because I have never ever called the paparazzi. Hold on one second. Hold on. I'm getting a phone call. Let me see. Oh, yes. Oh, this looks great. This is me at Costa Mesa. I mean, I'm sorry. This was taken by a friend of mine and not anyone I

hired. So then we cut to Katie and she's talking to Shannon and the other girls and she's like, well, I didn't know this was an issue for all of you guys, but my friend is in charge of the paparazzi pictures for every magazine. And then I heard that Heather was also reaching out to my friends to get information on me. Yeah, it's called, you're a new cast member on the show and she's nosy and figuring out who you

are. I listen again, go for Heather. I just don't think you're really getting her on anything with this. Like so far I'm like nothing burger. Okay. This is like an actual, this is actually the kind of hamburger that Heather would eat. A nothing burger. Okay. Yeah, I agree. You know, it's just nothing. Like, what do you have? Ooh, she called to get gossip on you. Oh no.

So Shanna's like, wow, she also did that to me when I became part of the group. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Ah.

Ah. And I'm saying that as a very spright-tanned person, which was crazy. Roll the clips. Bronze. Put me on a podium because I am the epitome of bronze. Third place, of course, behind David and John Jansen. So basically, they're like,

Katie's like, well, I mean, this is ridiculous. I'm not threatening at all. So she's like, you know what, go talk it out, okay? So Katie goes over to talk to Katie. I. So she's like, you know what? Go talk it out. Okay. So she, Katie goes over to talk to you. I love that Katie's like, I don't even understand why she would, why she be mad at me. It's not like I'm threatening. You're literally coming into her friend group

and undermining her to every single person you talk to until they take it back with her. You're a weirdo. It's also like, it's to sort of piggyback on what you said. Heather is just like, oh, there's someone else on this cast. Let me find out who they are. And then Katie just doing that also. And then Katie is shocked that Heather would do the same thing.

It's sort of wild. Yeah, so they're like, well, good luck. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You know what brings peace? The Olympic Games, and I am a bronze medal. OK, I'll stop now. So then now Katie goes up to Heather and he's

like, Hi, I just I know I wanted to talk because there's this weird looming thing between us and how there's like, oh, is the weird looming thing that I just brought you a $1,000 bottle of champagne and then you talk shit about me behind my back while I eat your hot dogs. There's nothing looming between us except that you about me behind my back while I eat your hot dogs. There's nothing looming between us except that you tricked me into eating empty calories while you're talking to all my friends and saying I'm calling the paparazzi and you have proof

and I'm talking to people about you. There are some untruths there. There are some untruths. Well, it's just that it came up at girls night and started at Sunday's Christmas party. Gina told me you guys were going through my Instagram, by the way. Oh, going through my Instagram, by the way. Oh, going through it.

We looked at it. I mean, that is going through it. That's all you can do with it. Kitty's like, Kitty's like, Yeah, and I, and you know, we saw you at Sutton's Christmas party and just, you turned around and you stared at us

and then you just turned right back around again. Oh, so you expected me to see you in a line and then suddenly recognize you just from Instagram? Is that what I was supposed to do? I was supposed to look at you and then look at the, remember you as the woman I spent two hours going, that's the girl they're bringing on, that's the girl they're bringing me on.

It's not like you're Drake or something like that, who is my neighbor? And Kitty goes, you legitimately saw us. I have no recollection of this. I mean, even my husband saw it. You mean the caddy over here, the worker, the person who cuts the grass over here? No, he's a sports reporter.

I'm not following. Could you just please start over? Don't bring Kevin into this. Her name is Matt. And Heather's like, she goes, yeah, even my husband saw it. And then you go to my friends in LA and you try to get information on me. She goes, okay, well, you are wrong. You are wrong.

I've been nothing but nice to Katie. I barely even know her. She's not even a blip on my radar. You know, I came into this group and I know you lied. I saw in the press that you alluded to the paparazzi. Well, my friend, my friend runs all the paparazzi photos and all the publications in the entire world. Oh, really? Show me the proof, Katie. Show me the proof, Katie. She goes, well, I have a screenshot of the text. She goes, oh, well,

let me tell you something. I've never called the paparazzi in my life. Oh, you've never alerted them? No. So he lied. I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, by the way, to be fair, hmm, a paparazzo would a paparazzo ever lie? Think maybe it's not the best like, character judgment that like, I don't know. I think I think my mind goes to Brittany's ex, that guy with the thing down his chin, you know, I don't know if like, citing the the truth telling of a paparazzi, a paparazzo is necessarily making the best case for yourself. Right. Well, in the lives of my children, I have never called that paparazzi.

Everyone's like, the lives of her children. I can't believe she would just swear on the lives of her children. And Kitty goes, I have no reason to scream and yell. It's also not something I've ever done in my life. It's so strange. I have facts and a receipt. And then we see a screenshot of her asking someone, did this ever happen? And we just see someone say, yes. Let's say one word, yes. Katie's like, okay, so what would you do if I pulled up a screenshot of the text?

She goes, well, there are apps that can make that happen. There's one I hear that's called Instagram, where apparently you can start thinking of Givenchy and it tags somebody. So is Heather saying that Katie received the spoof text? Is that what she's saying? Yeah, she's saying, she's saying, you can come at me with anything because you can just make up texts. And then Katie's like, Heather, you think my friend who runs all the paparazzi in the world would make something up? No, she's saying that you would make it up to make her look stupid to give yourself a

storyline on a show. And Gina's like, oh my God, this is what I didn't want to happen. I just should duck and cover. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I was reading a sign that I was reading a sign in this online catalog for signs. Duck and cover. So Katie's like, I mean, look, this guy, this paparazzo, he doesn't

even want to be on social media because he doesn't want to be known for doing his job. Oh, Katie. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, guess what? Guess who also doesn't want to be known for doing my job? Me. I'm here in Orange County and I'm Beverly Hills stock. Okay. But guess what? We get through it anyway. I have no worries in my body about this at all, at all. The only thing I'm worried about in my body is your shitty hot dog that I ate. I love that we're elevating paparazzi people to like, oh my God, my paparazzi friend

who runs every single paparazzo in the world just wants their privacy. They just, you know, they're very private about their art. Shut the fuck up. So then Katie is like, well, I don't think you would worry. I just don't know why you can't be honest about it. I mean, you come into this friend group knowing you lied. She's like, okay, now I've got little tiny conductor fingers.

Okay? Stop saying the word lie. I didn't lie. And Shannon goes, uh-oh, uh-oh, she's got the violin figures out. This is not a good situation. This is not good. And then Heather doesn't really even move her head

that much, but her ponytails start swinging around, you know, when Heather gets like crazily mad. And so like, when you come into a friend group, what would be really great is to make friends and understand them before you start speaking of things like this. So Tamara's like, okay, she's mad. Swarm everyone, swarm, swarm, swarm.

So they all circle around them and Tamara goes, well, I will say that Katie never attacked her character except to call you a liar and a stalker hat, bitch. So Heather's like, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. That's what bothers me. And to quote a good friend of mine, IDGAF. Heather's like, the thing that Katie is accusing me of are things that Katie is doing. I'm not digging up information on Katie. I'm digging up information on Drake.

Katie's digging up information on me. Do you see how this works? I only dig up on things that are above, not below. I think she's got a really good point here. I do too, actually. Katie's like, oh my God, you're searching for me? You're looking at my Instagram? You're stalk for me? You're looking at my Instagram? You're stalking me?

You're talking to my friends? When meanwhile, she's calling the paparazzi. She's calling Heather's friends and gossiping about it. Yeah, I think Heather kind of wins the logic on this one. Whether or not it's true, Heather's like, you're accusing me of calling paparazzi. You have the president of all paparazzi on your phone ready to call. He'll take your, you can text him, he'll respond back to you right away. Exactly. So Katie's like, well, I just wanted to see if there's anything you're harboring

against me. She goes, listen, I don't even know you, Katie. And now get ready for it, I'm about to annihilate you. I don't know that I even want to get to know you. Blah, oh, storm clouds gather overhead, her eyes turn black, little gophers on the golf course just start falling over dead. And then she finishes it off with a beautiful bit of passive aggression. So you know what? This has been a lovely day. Enjoy the Dom. Which is her way of saying, I brought you some expensive

ass champagne and this is how you thank me. And Gina goes, Oh my God, I'm so glad all of my friends are my friends. I'm so glad all of my friends are friends with each other. Oh, it's so hard for me. And Katie's like, well, I have gift packs for everybody. so hard for me." And Katie's like, well, I have gift packs for everybody. My friend makes clothes. And Heather just like leaves with her ponytail swinging. She's like, she comes over and she gives her crazy looks.

She's like, thanks for the golf. It was very nice meeting your husband. Goodbye. My gardener just quit. So if he's looking for further employment, just let me know. Well, Katie tried it, but you got nothing. I love a good confrontation, but you need more. I'm going to need you to make more of an effort, golf lady.

Yeah, it didn't quite work out. Um, I like Katie, but, uh, I was hoping that she was going to come with something stronger in this situation. And Heather, I actually think that she was pretty spared by Heather. Heather, Heather can be so vicious when she annihilates you. And she was pretty gentle here. I mean, we will always remember the moment with Shannon and various others. I've been Taylor Armstrong last year. Katie got off pretty well here. But yeah, I'm gonna need her to bring some better evidence next time. Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being with us. Okay. Thanks for being here and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone.

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