Watch What Crappens - #2506 RHONJ S14E13 Part 1: Sh*t Just Got Rails

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

This is part one of an epic two parter!The final episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey as we know it has aired.  The women gathered at Rails to air out their grievances and leave basically in the same mindset that they entered.  But that didn’t mean there weren’t bombshell revelations.  Let’s unpack it!  For video recaps and all of our bonus episodes, join us at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello. Hi. We've had quite an exciting morning. I have to say we're here today to

talk Real Housewives of New Jersey, epic season finale, cast finale, whatever you want to call it. But we had a very, very active morning, okay? Because Ron and I just went on to Andy Cohen's radio show. And that is going to be, I think it's going to be airing tomorrow, which will be August 6th. So everyone go tune on to and radio Andy on Sirius XM and listen to his show because we'll be on there also with John Hill. And we talked a lot about the New Jersey finale, et cetera. It was super fun.

And even though we did watch what happens live during the pandemic, it was really cool to sort of have this like 25 minutes of just chatting with Andy, you know? So it was really fun. And thank you Radio Andy and Andy and John for having us on your show. Yeah, that was a really good time. Ben was in the New York office and I was in the LA series.

So we were like, I'm from the coasts. And so I was with the newly bleach blonde, John Arthur Hill. And it was so fun. And also I apologize to everybody because I posted on our Instagram that we were going to be on today because I don't understand how the world works. And I just thought it's a live show.

So we'd be going in today. I got my ass up early because Ben told me 730 but he's on the East Coast. So I didn't want to bother him in the middle of the night. Yeah, 745. Whatever a huge difference, Ben. And I was like, Oh, no, I got there. I think he got the wrong time and the time difference because I looked it up and at 7am Pacific time. So I got up at five and I rushed down there and of course I was there an hour early and then I had posted on Instagram to listen we weren't

even on today because we were on a pre recorded hour after I'm at this getting the songs I did good a big good recrisson and a big coffee but sorry everybody I was a disaster I told you the wrong day and then I showed up at the wrong time and then I showed up in this new shirt I have a new shirt and I look like I'm in my pajamas and I've been gaining weight because I've been eating too much ice cream and my love handles were literally coming out of the bottom of my shirt. Stop it.

I did have a really sunburn. No that's true they were I just didn't I did have a really sun-moar. No, that's true, they were. I just didn't, I'm not hating on myself. I just didn't notice that I was gaining weight until I put on this shirt that was too small and got out my love handles where my muffin top was out for the world to see. And I was like, you know what?

This is just that kind of a morning, you know? Yeah. Well, I also made a mistake because I was in the studio with Andy and I forgot to get a selfie with Andy. I was like, I put on a mistake because I was in the studio with Andy and I forgot to get a selfie with Andy. I was like, I put on a nice shirt and everything because I was like, well, clearly we'll have a selfie together. And I forgot to take the photo, forgot to have my moment of Instagram glory. No, there is no visual proof that I had ever met Andy Cohen now.

No one will ever know. You'll hear our voices, but I don't know. Conspiracy theorists may say, guess what? Ben was on zoom, you know, that's what, that's what they'll say. They'll say, guess what? Guess what? I got the story. Ben was on zoom. I don't know why it has to be about it. Know what I mean?

I know. All he has to do is be honest. Just be honest. And here's the truth. Are the young, you look old. But it was really fun and like it was just, it was really fun to chat Bravo with him. And it's cool to see how like our worlds

have finally intersected in that way. So anyway, enough about us and Andy and all that. We are here. This is a very big New Jersey day. And later on today, of course, enough about us and Andy and all that. We are here. This is a very big New Jersey day. And later on today, of course, we will, we will have our house of the dragon, uh, season finale recap recap going, but this one's first. We're recording this one first. Although there was a nice crossover moment when Melissa literally said on this episode, winter's coming.

I was like, wow, they are really, we were actually a few, they kept making fire references. Like we're, I'm going to burn this to the ground. It felt like they made a few kind of draggy things. I thought, wow, is that an NBC universal show? It's like when Monica just happened to come out with a burn book the same week that mean girls was released. Like, yeah, you know,

if only they could have synced up a below deck with that too. Um, cause there's a big storyline everyone. Okay. So let's get on with it. Shall we? Let's do it man. So we start with the Gorgas and, um, you know, we see a picture on the nightstand and of course it's of Melissa licking Joe's head, which is kind of funny. I just wish that they showed the shot two minutes after where she's wiping the black Sharpie marker off of her tongue. I also want to say that when this episode began, when we see them all holding up their meatballs,

whatever it is they hold up, then the screen goes to black and white and this is a recurring motif that they use this episode. A lot of things go into black and white to sort of suggest the finality of what we're about to see, which is weird because I just, I feel like the way they keep on referring to this throughout this entire episode, like we were going to this last supper, this last supper, this may be the last time I see some of these girls. It's like they already knew they were going to be like rebooted and fired. It was like, it was already in their minds. They're like, whatever, I'm just gonna fucking say it.

Well, yeah, I think they knew because the cast trip was canceled. You know, the house burnt to the ground, which by the way, it turns out that the house did not burn to the ground, only the garage burnt to the ground. Did you read that? So they're being overdramatic on that.

But also the house burned and then they still weren't, they just decided not to do the trip at all. So I think, yeah, I think at that point they knew like, Oh, the producers were probably like cutting the whole season short. We're fucked. Yeah. I think that that they must have gotten a stern talking to. So anyways, so we're at the, but also, you know, here's the good thing about the Bible y'all. You can call things last supper and think it's final, but guess who resurrected his name is Jesus. Okay. So don't count these ladies out yet. Jesus pushed that, that big

old boulder from out in front of the cave. And so can these ladies. I believe in you guys. I'm going to wait thousands of years for you to come back. I don't even care. People come back from the dead all the time on TV. Okay. So just stay tuned. So anyway, I mean, look at Danielle stop, come back on the show. If they get Dina Manzo back on the show, if they get to rest a linen in the show, if they could get Dina Manzo back on the show, if they could- There's not much Restylane in your body. Are you ever really gone? No.

You know what I mean? You don't even biodegrade. So, don't worry about it. You'll be around forever. Did you also have a moment where you thought during this finale, at one point, Danielle Staub was going to walk into rails? I really like legitimately thought, wouldn't that be the funniest thing if like they're all hashing everything out?

And it's like, I have something to say and the door flings open and there's Danielle Staub. I was like, How dare you! Pay attention, police! Come and find my children! So anyway, the other thing I was gonna say, sorry, we're never gonna start this recap, but I was thinking that like, Yes, we'll be here all day. This is our last Jersey recap. We might be here 10 hours and that

is our right. Damn it. Hey, taxis. And I'm going to stay here as long as I goddamn well want to. This is my last moment of this iterate. Well, that's not true. We have next week too. Never mind. Okay. Let's finish this up in five minutes. What do you think about the last supper? Jesus resurrecting. Go. No, I was just going to say this. Okay. I was going to talk about like the Jersey eras. And I feel like if we were to talk about, break Jersey down into eras, you have, I think the first era is the first two seasons. That was when it was like the Caroline Manzo, Danielle Staub era.

That was when they were the focus. Era two starts. Season three is when now Teresa becomes front and center of the show. And I think the second era goes through Teresa being in jail, et cetera, and the Wikile. That's like the Wikile era. I think that's the common thread. And then the third era is the longest era of them all. That begins with the arrival of Ziggy Flicker.

And then ultimately, Margaret in the next season is the true beginning of the next era. But the Ziggy Flicker season was when we started to transition away into like a new cast where it's not just three center family. We're going to get other people having other dramas. Margaret arrived. That's officially the next era. And that's what we've had for the last several years. So what we're basically this is like ice ages and Stone Ages and, you know, Restylane ages and that's where we're at right now. And so this is the end of a Jersey era right now. And that's what we are witnessing. Yeah. I don't know if I had a point.

I think I was just classifying things. No, I like it. You know, breaking things up into digestible chapters. I'm being very academic about something that's not academic at all. I'm actually like, they're the dinosaurs. They are the dinosaurs. It's like the Jurassic and Triassic

and the parametric era of dinosaurs. Although something tells me not to count Siggy Flicker out and I don't know why. I think it's because first of all, I see her posted all over social media because of Trumpy stuff. Like she's really gone so far to the right. Or maybe at least people making fun of her for that.

But she's also, maybe it's because of Marge and all that, but I just feel like Siggy and Jen, isn't Jen Fessler a friend of Siggy Flicker? I just feel like Siggy Flicker is always kind of on the parameter just with her little shark eyes coming around just muttering under her breath like, it's all I wanted. It's all I wanted, Joshua. Joshua. Joshua. Joshua. I mean, the bitter truth is that Ziggy Flicker was actually a pretty great housewife, if you ask me.

She just went nuts. She just couldn't handle it. She went nuts. I mean, usually it takes a few years for people on these shows to go crazy. Like they start simmering and they start getting really tortured by the online hate. And then they get screwed over a couple of times. So they start to scheming and they become people

that they never thought that they would become. And before you know it, you are the monster under the bed. But with Ziggy Flicker, it was not four years. It was like six months and she went nuts. Like she came back after her first season completely insane. Her second season was just like an amazing car wreck. You know, she made fun of my ponytails or something like that. Or she said she didn't want to crack about it. What was her big thing? It was because Margaret said, well, because Margaret said something about like, if I say she might invoked Hitler in some way as like as part of a famous Jersey analogy and Siggi was like, how could you

mention Hitler in my presence? Oh, that's anti-Semitic. And Mark was like, no, I know, I'm married to a Jewish man. Okay, I understand Judaism. What are you talking about? I love Joan Rivens. What are you talking about? Yeah, the Simpsons! He's back. Yeah, I went a little bit, a little far there. But so fun. And that's, I think, the bringing us back to full circle is everyone saying, this is too toxic. I can't deal with it.

This is Jersey, baby. Like, again, I know I say this every week, but what do you think you're watching? This is Jersey, people. People like, oh, this is the most toxic season finale I've ever seen. This was the most innocent season finale we've seen in a long time.

This was like a senior prompt for them. Something got thrown, I'm shocked. It's thrown every other episode on this show. Why are we all like clutching our pearls? Come on. This is like the only show on Bravo where someone could throw a glass and then the scene continues on.

And one of them says, no, it's okay, I'm not threatened, baby. Whereas any other show, you throw a corn cob and all of a sudden it's like someone is carted off in by Bravo police and then you have three episodes of discussion about why violence is not the answer. But in this show... She's bringing bodyguards everywhere she goes. This show is just like throwing a glass

as the equivalent of like knocking on a door. Yeah, Jen's like, bring it on baby, I don't care. She's got my permission to stay so I can keep bullying her about her husband's moves baby. So, okay, anyway, we're at the Gorgas and one of their sons, Joey, because you know, what else would he be named?

I don't know why that makes me laugh every single time. We've known the names of their children literally for years, but I still laugh every time I hear Joey and Gino. It's like, was, was Frank, was there, was there not another Frank bank available? Or, or Nico. Um, so there's like a Nico and Nicholas, a Joey, a Frank Gino. Joe, Joe, Frankie, a Joey, a Frank genome. That's like, that's all you get. Frankie, Frank-a-la. Joey-kins.

Franksangela. Like only a Gorga could, is calling to try to figure out how to buy clothes at the mall. And she's like, okay, get some long pants. And he says, I don't know how to get long pants. Ask for the shortest ones. First of all, I think you're going, you're a gorga. The wrong thing to do is to go in and ask for a long anything. Okay. Kids these days, they don't even understand how to get long pants. It's such a strange.

I get it in a way because you have to do the whole inseam measurement, like the length, which I was never good at either. I'm a long torsos person. So I have like a wider waist and very short legs. So it took me a while to get used to it. Like I still don't know my jacket size. I can't buy a sports coat, you know? So I shouldn't rag on the kid this much.

I think for me it was just the code word being long. I was like, oh no, you poor delusional child. I think, no, yes, exactly. I just think it was funny because he sounds like he's getting his license at the DMV. Like I don't know what line I'm supposed to get into. I don't know what form I'm supposed to fill out. Like what, what, like should I have a photo ready? Is there going to be a written test before I put on these pants? Like how do I do this process of getting long pants? Yeah, well, I'll be prepared to be prepared to be confused and look stupid at the end No, I hate trying on pants

I have to say because you have to take off your shoes and you put on the pants and they're not the right size It's just it's the worst. So Now we go over to Margaret's house. Okay, guess what? She's walking around and she's holding Bella. Okay, Bella, angel of love. Okay, you don't do horrible evil shit like the rest of these crazy bitches. Okay, should we start our snacks? Come on, you're my favorite family member, Bella.

By the way, Bella, I know you're wondering what happened with Joe's PSA. Well, guess what? We don't get an update this episode. Ha ha ha ha. Remember the whole cancer storyline? It's over now. Just don't even talk about it. It wasn't very successful in the Q-ray things, but you know what, Bella? I love you more

than I love everybody else. And I truly believe that if you had opposable thumbs, you would have properly hung this Charlie Brown patterned wallpaper behind me. And it wouldn't make it. It wouldn't make my eyes bleed every time I laid. Joey, the wallpaper is still messed up. I know, honey. I just wanted to remind you that you're inferior to Bella. Okay. Okay, Bella, go put on a C-phone polo shirt. So, Margaret puts out some cronuts, and Jen Fessler shows up.

Hi, queen, hi, hi. I love queen. Okay, how cute are you? I love your jumpsuit. Okay, it's beautiful, I love it. Oh, you love it? I just got it, because it took me a while to get it I had to figure out how to put on long pants. No one has any answers around this place

Let me tell you what I have. Here's an answer for you. I have cronuts. Okay, they're amazing and the press is like I love cronuts What are they cronuts? It's like a donut, but a crow. I love it. Croneuts. Love that. Love it Who would have thought that there's no toxicity in those CRO-nuts? Because I cannot take it, I'm a very mature person. I need peaceful donuts. Peaceful donuts, now when I walked in this house, would I have ever thought we'd be dining on the testicles of a raven?

No, but here we are. No, you stupid idiot, it's croissant and donut. It's not a crow's actual nuts, you stupid fessler. You know what I'd like? Wine, do you have crow wine? I'd love some wine. Alright, sure, I have some red. Oh yeah, I'll have a red wine. Well good, just be careful because someone once spilled some red wine on my favorite coffee table books. I was like, I don't know which one of you did it, Jody one and Jody

two, but you're both cleaning this up and getting me a reimbursement from Tashin, okay? That was for you, Joan. I don't know who did it, but I'm telling you this, I haven't given Lexi's daughter a thing ever since. Listen, blame the child while they're around, you know what I mean? The adults are too smart, they can all deny it, but children cannot deny it. You did it, you little slut! Sorry, I'm getting too serious. It was a book I got from Barnes & Noble for $5. It was the best of Mapplethorpe and her daughter spilled all over it. Okay, so Fessa was just staring at the cronuts and she's like, Oh my God, those cronuts look

so good. But for Christ's sake, eat one. No, I won't do it. But I will look at them and do this with my eyes, lot. Do you mind if I open up this box of bumblebees? Okay, hold on one second. As... Just to terrorize you a little bit. It's a call back to last week. Oh my God, every time I come over here.

She's constantly being tortured by bees. Is that being a puss? I just have to say as someone who is also on weight loss medication, because Fessler talks I think on her podcast from what I've heard about being on Ozempic and stuff. And I have to say as someone who also takes the weight loss medication, I've learned ways around it like eating ice cream because it melts and you don't feel full the same way. Like it's so sick how addicted you can be that you're finding ways to just don't cheat even when you're taking this medication. But I will say that having a whole plate of cronuts in front of you and not being able to eat them is like being

in a certain kind of prison, you know? And I feel for her when I watch her eyes do that because you can just tell she wants them. It's like when Superman's in an invisible prison and he can't get out, there's no bars, but he's just like staring out at the grownup prison. He's just in the center of a cronut. It's like, these bars are so flaky. There's such laminated. You know what? Superman can get out of a croissant and he can get out of the donut, but he can't, he can't get out of a cronut.

He can't. No, I was going to try to think of something that Lex Luthor would respond to Lex Luthor with, but I can't even think about it. You know, it's also later on, I just want to warn America, I'm going to torture even more by spreading banana pudding on top of cronuts. Oh my God, you know what, there's Lex Luthor there. Oh my God, she's eating the cronut. Watch it, Jen. It's like, I can't, there. Oh my god, she's eating the crouton. Watch it Jen.

It's like, I can't, I can't take it. Please stop eating the crouton. I used to say that Lexi Luther wasn't anything close to a villain until she spilled all over my carpet table. Stupid bitch. Ansel Adams, now it just says Adams. I don't understand. Is it Amy Adams?

There's a big red wine splotch on the cover. I don't even know who wrote this book anymore. Commercials, here comes one right now. Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived. We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Ziffrin.

And we're the hosts of Wondry's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families past and present from all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light as women who use the tools available to them to hold on to power. Some women won the game, others lost,

but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more to the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy,

and Black History for Real. My name is Georgia King, and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondery+, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink, and listen to will all be up to my very special guests.

We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip around Disneyland. We'll eat a bowl of life-changing pasta with Jimmy Oh Yang in Tuscany, Italy. And how do you feel about a spot of sugaring off with Emily Hampshire in Montreal? And away we go, Go will immerse you in some of the wonders of the world.

We're gonna be seeing some yellows and vibrant oranges. And the shoes clicking against the cobblestone. If you're looking to get somebody in the mood, have them look at the Chicago skyline. You can listen to And Away We Go exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. girls all the girls yelling yelling screaming cronuts cronuts cronuts cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cronuts eating cron got to open that hanger up. Oh, what was the swat it be? My bad. What, what is this? So it's banana pudding that she's putting on the cronuts.

It was Magnolia, Magnolia bakery. She had banana pudding and then they were putting on the cronuts and it was just like a whole bunch of stuff that was happening on those. It was a lot. I was across from, uh, the, the Andy's podcast or the serious XM is across from Magnolia bakery. And I was very tempted to go in there after last night's episode and get a grown the Andy's podcast or the SiriusXM's across from Magnolia Bakery. And I was very tempted to go in there after last night's episode and get it grown up.

But I withheld, it was very hard. I was, I tried to channel my inner Jen Fessler and not go in there. One of our friends, Matt Marr from the Reality Gaze podcast, we were at a party a couple of weeks ago, like a day party thing, a day drinking party. And someone said, oh, you know, the Magnolia banana pudding is so good.

And he door dashed cartons of it over. I mean, I've never looked up to somebody that much. Every time I think of Matt Mar now, I just think of like money coming out of his eyes. I'm like, who does that door dashes banana pudding from Magnolia Baker? To me is like daddy Warbucks. And who's the angel from Touched by an Angel? Delarice. All rolled into one. You're magical. I also kind of feel like Matt Maher does that because that way he can call people Puddin

as a nickname. Hey Puddin, can you mom pass me the Puddin? Hey Puddin. That's cute, right? I think he does have that in his trunk. He's just that type to be like, I'm going to bring the world joy. I got Puddin. Hey Puddin. Hey sugar. He acts like he got it door dashed, but it was in his trunk all that time. It's smack dashed. Okay, so here we are. Guess what?

I pulled a real stunt, Ronnie. Okay, I pulled a real stunt. Okay, you want to hear about my real stunt? Okay, so you know, they're at the Zip-Dance. Do they have anything to do with ingesting cronut even though you're on Ozempik. I'd love to hear how you did it. Tell me your secrets. Okay, stopping at the stop being a person you enjoyed it. Okay, sick. Okay. So put that cronut down. I'm trying to tell you a story. Okay. And this event. Okay, stop using it as a binoculars. Okay, I get the joke. But you've never seen a hole in a pastry before.

Okay, fast. So you notice Margaret Joseph burn event that's happening? Yeah, well, I sent a gift. I sent a little gift. Oh, there it is. A burn event. You know, just like a House of the Dragons thing. I sent a gift to it. And she's like, was it approved?

Was it approved? Did Joe approve it? Lexi? Who approved it? And she goes, I don't have to get approval. I was just being funny. It was being hilarious. You want to see what it was? You want to see what it was?

Let me show you. Let me scroll. It was a picture. It was a beautiful funeral arrangement. God, why is that so hard to say as a gay person? It was a beautiful funeral arrangement. Understand. Isn't that hilarious?

Margaret, get the fuck out of here. Next you're going to tell me they're making donuts out of croissants. Yeah, and it's already in your stomach, you idiot. So here, look at this. So we see a flashback to the like, sorry for the loss of your dignity, funeral arrangement. And she's, well, a funeral arrangement's

a little morbid, no? No, what are you talking about morbid? I think it's fucking hilarious. It's like, oh, good. And the thought, I thought you had a sense of humor, Jen Fessler. Well, I mean, I just think it's kind of morbid. Can we look at a clip of that so I could just see see the part of Teresa refusing it again? And then we see the clip of Teresa being you want to get down you told us shove it up a bottle.

You know, someone does something so absurd, they deserve an absurd response. Okay, and by the way, Jackie's dead to me too. I just want to add that onto the pile. Jackie is dead. Honey, should I wear a shirt that's not matching you today? You know what? Lego Man Fleur-Bittie-Berg. You see what I mean? Absurd question, absurd response.

Very literal. We have a lot of literalism in this household. As in Lexi's son or daughter, whatever it is, literally spilled all over my coffee table books. Well, listen, here's the thing. It wasn't a burn thing. It wasn't presented to me as a hate someone part. Hey, let's all get together and hate somebody.

It wasn't that. It was presented to me as, I just want of hey, let's all get together and hate somebody wasn't that it was presented to me As I just want you guys to hear me out and hear the facts and don't stone it croissant to croissant But you're not worried, you know, you don't think they're gonna drop some big atomic bomb on you do you Margaret? What what are they gonna drop this note? There's no bombs. Okay. I'm very forthright with any behavior today, too Okay, I don't run in shadows. I don't run in the dark. Any dark meetings I do with the light on, you know, anybody who's come here has banana pudding on their breath. I'm going to tell you that right now. Yeah, I'm not dropping any bombs and faster like,

well, I, you know what, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. It's because you know, if Jackie thought the texts were bad that I revealed to Dolores. Just you wait, Enrique. Just you wait. So then, Fester's like, well, you know, by the way, this is maybe the grossest glass of wine I've ever had. Oh, really? Oh, well, I asked Marlene to whip something up, some red wine vinegar and some orange juice because I don't have wine. I don't drink. So I thought that might be close to the real thing. Not good enough? No? Okay. We'll have another cronut. So then the phone rings and it's Dolores. And Dolores is like, well, hello Marge, I'm gonna see you in a bit.

I'm on my way over. All right, we'll come on over here. I've got some really delicious, well, bring some red wine because apparently Fessler doesn't like what she has here even though I made it from Marlena's dish soap. Okay, get over here, sweetie. So she's got Sage when Dolores comes. She's like, I'm sageing because you know what, you're coming to the evil person's house. You're at the devil's house. Let's sage it. Let's

sage it. And so Dolores comes in and so they start talking and Marge is like, oh my God, Dolores, are you having ice cream? She goes, no, it's banana pudding. We got cronuts, everything. Like literally, would you rather be at the burn party or would you rather be the cronuts, cronuts, banana pudding and wine party? I mean, what this one really burns. Ooh, that was a burn party right there. I have a question. I have a question. What is a cronut anyway? I'm still just not wrapping my brain around it. You're saying it's a croissant and a peanut? Is that where it comes from? No, it's croissant and doughnut. Why don't you understand? I'm surrounded by idiots. It's a mix between a doughnut and a croissant. It's like a pebble tile.

It's half pebble, half tile. 100% Franken aptitude. Although you should know when you say Kro nut in front of Frank, it means that he jerks off onto a crowbar. Not much comes out. Thankfully. It's a lot of steroids in that guy. But you might need to, he did not take off in the same way. No lines around the corner for that one. Poor Maz really invested a lot into that business. Well, that's neither here nor there.

Now listen, Marge, it wasn't a burn session. It was basically, you know, Teresa explaining poorly everything she's going through for the past couple of years with the ex, you know, she was saying that it's been so much anxiety and to have someone constantly after them. And she just wanted us to know that, you know, I mean, she didn't say this word, I'm saying this word, but she felt like it was a collaboration with speaking to the ex because you allegedly reached out to the ex in 2021. You're like, you're not only 20. It's basically like Louis X is the nut and you're the crow and you guys came together and had a collaboration, became a crow nut.

That's all. So we see flashbacks to the 2021 season where Teresa keeps accusing Margaret of talking to the X and Margaret's like, you talked about it. I don't know, girl. I don't know what's going on with this. This was the season that I believe this was the season when the video came out where Louis was like, huh, okay, I'm gonna speak to my ex right here. The famous video that Louie had

and Margaret started off the season being like, did you see this video, Teresa? You should look into this, this is weird. So Teresa turned it on Margaret and was like, you been talking to the exes, et cetera. So that was what we saw flashbacks to. And she was like, I didn't even know who she was at that point. I mean, that first year she was with Louie

and all that stuff was coming out. I've never spoken to that woman till then. I didn't even know who she was at that point. I mean, that first year she was with Louis and all that stuff was coming out. I've never spoken to that woman till then. Dolores is like, I believe that. I believe that. I believe that. I believe that. I. Yeah. And guess what? Believe it. Do you believe it?

This is the episode of Dolores nodding very deeply and emphatically stating things like that. Like, I believe that that's all she wanted. Well, you know what? I never spoke to her before in New York. Never once when she was accusing me of all that stuff. I mean, have I spoken to her since then? Absolutely never about putting out stuff though.

Never about that. Just to know, talking about what an idiot she is. Well, that was Teresa that said Margaret had her put things out of that. And she's like, yes, she did. But then what? What did Margaret put out? Teresa said very clearly at that get together

that this ex is using Margaret to put things out about Teresa, but what has it been? All she put out was that, the lawyer, not lawyer thing, the video where he was at the camps shirtless with all the other guys. And that stuff was released before that. That season started off with Margaret saying you need to address this because it's all over the place and someone's gonna bring it up on camera so go out

there and address this now before you look stupid on TV. Yeah nothing else like truly significant has been quote-unquote leaked. Stuff has come out but it's came out because it's like legal stuff you know. So they haven't gone after him for all of his business and all of his fraud allegations and all of that, which they could have been because they're numerous, those allegations. So I'm confused.

I'm confused. I'm as confused as Teresa basically. I've just find myself like, wing, wing, wing, wing, wing, wing, wing. So some Dolores like, you know what, Margaret, I don't know why you would talk to her. You know, the caliber of person that she is. Listen, I'm going to tell you, I spoke to her a few times.

Okay. And I don't give two shits. Okay. Because like, it was only on DM. Okay. Not even on the phone. It was just on DM and maybe on the phone a little bit, but only on the phone. I actually never even DM to her.

You know what? Even on the phone, we met in person. Okay. You know what? So what? She had him over met in person. Okay, you know what? So what? I had her over for lunch. We had a whole lunch and I wrote everything down. It was great. That's it. I mean, you know what? I've never met her in person. I mean, I've seen her at events and stuff.

Events called Marge's Lunch of cronuts and banana pudding. Please welcome Louis X, everyone. I mean, was there a charity event called Melissa Sings the Blues and it started, sorry, Vanessa Sings the Blues and it started Louis X singing, you know, allegations against Louis to blues numbers? Sure, sure. But you know what, that wasn't really a meeting, was it? Listen, did I have a silent auction to raise money to replace my coffee table books after

someone spilled on them? Perhaps. Was she there? And were all of the things that you could bid on allegations against Louis in an envelope? Sure. You know what? But I barely talked to her. So she's like, yeah, well, you know what? She validated all the bo-deedle shit. Absolutely. And then, you know, she's like, you know what? And she said, I would be worried if I were you after everything that happened and what they did to my son. Okay, I'd be worried. She and she absolutely validated all of it. And Dolores is like, they called my son's work. They called him at work. Which I don't, isn't that just

the allegation that he called the son's work? I mean, that seems dramatic. Although Louis is terrifying. I will say Louis is terrifying and I don't wanna let him off the hook, but Marge, here's the thing. She was playing just as dirty by going, and what is Vanessa, the X is Vanessa. I think her name is Vanessa. What is she validating about Bo Deedle?

How would she know whether Louis did all this Bo Deedle stuff when she was already broken up with Louis while he was doing all of this stuff supposedly? Well, that's what Delore says. And I think the answer to that is basically like, well, she can't validate that he hired Bo Deedle, but she can validate like, yeah, he hired and private investigated with me. Like she can confirm a pattern at least. Well, that's true because the allegation is that he hired Bo Deedle to send in fake customers or clients to her

therapy stuff. I mean, the allegations are so crazy. I listened to a bunch of it on Bravo Docket, so I know some of it, but it was honestly so confusing. It's one of those, it's like Game of Thrones. You need to do a rewatch to really truly understand what the hell's going on. Because I was like, this is a lot of crazy. Yeah. I want to read a tweet, which I thought really summed up a lot of stuff about Louis really well. Someone named cool girl who says,

Louis ruined the dynamics, ruined Teresa's relationships and fucked up Teresa's back. All this mess is because Teresa attached herself to that man and she's been paddling up shits creek since she knows he's a mess, but too proud to admit it. Well, actually I thought the tweet was a different tweet, but that's true too. But basically it's like he came in and they're all going to lose their jobs. Yeah. Like I think the tweet I think I meant to read was one that's basically said, this guy comes in, he's super

toxic. They're all going to lose their jobs. And actually the show could probably go on without Teresa and Louis because we still have a lot of really good personalities, but Louis is so vile and Bravo is so committed to Teresa that they're all going down with the ship as a result. Well, I'm almost thinking they should just get rid of Teresa on break, put her on break, wait for that relationship to completely implode because it will, and then just bring her back once she's done with the man because Teresa just it's another cycle of Teresa and talks a toxic man ruining her life. And it's depressing at this point, like everybody sees it coming. And I think that Teresa fans are trying to stand up for Teresa, which great, you know, I like Teresa, I'm usually standing

up for Teresa in these wars over Melissa or whatever. I'm usually like a Teresa, but even I'm like, come on. Like it's not even standing up for Teresa. People shouldn't be standing up for her. They should be saying, we're worried for you. No one should be with a man who's like that fucking skank and fuck that woman and fuck her son. And her son should suffer. I want everyone in her life to suffer.

I mean, that's a toxic, terrifying purple man. You need to get the hell away from there because it is crazy and abusive. And one thing I forgot to ask Andy, I had it on my phone notes, but of course I didn't pull out my phone notes, was what was the deal in the preview where they showed Louie financially ruining her life?

People were saying financially ruining her life. And then he was saying like, babe, I just, I want to, it's gonna be okay. And she says something like, no, it's not gonna be okay. And she says something like, no, it's not going to be okay. And I just don't want to talk about it. They cut all that stuff out, like the stuff where Louie is supposedly ruining her life. And I'm guessing they cut that out under pressure from their camp somehow. But I wanted to know because I feel like people should be a little more worried for Teresa in this situation. Yeah, I think Louie is real. He's real scum and you know, notice all of these things Louie's

at the center of all of it. And Teresa should know better by now than to just walk into the middle of the road when there's like a blinking caution light, but she's Teresa and there are reasons that she is blinking. She's blinking and she's the same color. Blink blink blink blink blink. She's the only person who sees that light as standing still, a man standing still. Like why is that just a person with their leg up in the air? Because he's

blinking too fast to see the movement in it. Yeah, I mean, she's the reason that there are railings in front of crosswalks, you know what I mean? Because people should know, but they just don't, and they get run over by the truck anyway. And they get run over by the truck anyway. Yeah. So anyway, Margaret's saying, you know, like this X has confirmed the Bodiedle thing or whatever. And Dolores says like, you know what?

I don't want to go back and forth because it's not my thing. I'm tired of this whole thing. She goes, well, this is the thing. I mean, look, I would never hold a summit, a burn summit. I never would do that. You know what? I'd hold a Cronut summit.

And guess what? You're at it right now. Congratulations. I would hold a Cromont. Okay. That is the mix between a croissant and a summit. A bunch of croissants get together and talk about what a bitch Therese says. I would do that. By the way, it's hilarious that they even thought that some sort of like quote unquote summit in the Berkshires would work. Did we not remember the famous summit in like Lake George, wherever it was where the Joe's attacked each other. This family does not, this cast does not do some hits. That is not something that happens.

Oh God. Or Arizona or whatever. When they went to that peaceful time, peaceful retreat in Arizona, Arizona still has not been the same. No. So Dolores is like, well, she's like, well, thank you for not inviting. Oh, I'm sorry, she goes, well, Teresa brought up that the summit that you had before in New York.

She's like, oh, that wasn't a summit. That's called doing a reunion review, okay? Like there were musical numbers, there were sequins, tarp hats. It was wonderful. The crowd loved it. It's gonna be at 52 below. And see it, tickets available now.

Reunion Review. Reunion Review. It's hard to say actually if you say it quickly. Da da da da da da. Reunion Review. That was the loop song. I mean, it was a Reunion Review. I mean, Vanessa even came out and did Old Man River,

but replaced all the lyrics with Louis allegations. Reunion Review. I mean, Vanessa even came out and did Old Man River, but, you know, replaced all the lyrics with Louis allegations. Louis followed me. Louis is a narcissist. Louis just keeps knocking along. I mean, it's very nice, you know, but that doesn't mean I sat down for lunch with her. Oh, you know what? I have to say my favorite part of the reunion review? Rachel Fuda's big number. Go go go Fuda, you know what they say. Go go go Fuda, you'll make it someday. You and your husband making up stories, trying to get airtime, it'll work someday. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. I'm Dan Tbersky. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York

I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad I'm like stop f***ing around. She's like I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down-low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.

No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline, and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios.

Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. So then, Dolores goes, well, thanks for not inviting me to that one, whatever it was.

She goes, well, I did. I told you to come. She goes, I never, you fucking line cut fitness, you never said that to me. I'm like, whoa! I know, Dolores suddenly... Whoa! It was a season's worth of aggravation just suddenly tumbled out of Dolores. Marcus

are you calling me a lion cut fitness? Is that what you're doing? You invited me to this house the night before the reunion and next thing you say there were no cronuts, huh? No, there were no cronuts. Cronuts weren't even invented then. It's a new thing for 2024. What are you talking about? We had fruit roll ups then because it was like fruit, but it was rolled up. You know, that was the big thing back then. They did have banana pudding in your defense. They did have banana pudding.

Listen, I told you two days before I said, everyone's coming over, but I'm sure you don't want to do this. We don't want to come and you don't want to do what, you know, I know you don't want to do that sort of shit because you never fucking had that conversation with me. You never had that conversation. My God, Dolores. Dolores, we had a mild conversation. Okay, it was a very mild.

Liar. It wasn't a Caliente. Liar. It was mild. Liar. You're a liar. You're a fucking liar. You're a liar.

You're lying right now. Never had it. Never had it. Never had it. It was serious. I don't even know what you're talking about. Never had that conversation. Because I don't fucking lie.

You're calling me a liar? Is that what you're calling me a liar? What are you mad at me for? That's ridiculous. It's a fucking lie. It's so fucking ridiculous. It's a fucking lie. It's a fucking lie.

It's a serious thing to me. It was a comment request. It was a very mild request. It's a serious thing to me that you're telling me that you said something that you fucking that you fucking didn't. I knew nothing about that fucking shit. She's like, why are you mad at me? She was because you're lying.

You're fucking lying. I'm like, OK. So Dolores, to me, this seemed like Dolores was like, oh my God, Teresa is going to kill me for A being on the fence this whole season when I should have been Teresa, team Teresa. And now I'm sitting here and she's saying that I went to this, fuck this lady.

I'm going to call her a C word so I can see, be like, Teresa, see I was still on your side this whole time. Cause then she immediately calms down. Yeah, it's like, okay, okay, well, I'm sorry. It's just okay. I'm calm now. It's been a very long day. Okay, it's been a very, very long day. Honestly, it started when I went to Starbucks and I ordered a

latte and they gave me a cold brew. And I said, this isn't what I ordered. They said, this is what you ordered. I said, are you fucking lying to me? I said, you know what, never mind, you're a sweet child. And I bottled it up. And I thought it wouldn't come out again. They said, no, this is what you ordered. I said, are you fucking lying to me? I said, you know what? Nevermind your, your sweet child. And I bottled it up and I thought it wouldn't come out again, but here it is out. You know how difficult it is living in a five story home. Okay. You're going from the kitchen to the living room, to the dining room, to the kitchen, to the living room, the dining room. I mean,

I've got the ass the size of a fucking head now because of those stands. And you know, you know know what's even more difficult? Being with a man who won't marry you, marry you who isn't Paulie or Frank. Let me tell you something. I'm sorry, his name is Paul. I mean, Frank or Joe, okay? It's very, very difficult.

Let me tell you something. I'm stressed out beyond belief. I'm working at this new electric company. You know what they have me doing all day? There's a circuit board, three stories high. And when the lights go off, I gotta climb a step ladder all the way up to turn the switch on the third floor. Do you know how difficult that is?

It's very stressful. You don't have a lot of time to do it. It's terrible. I thought I'd just be answering phones. Nope, I'm just flipping switches. So you never said we're gonna have a reunion review. Do you want me to come up? You never said it.

She goes, okay, you know what? You go, I don't do that shit. It was very impassing, very non-calliente. And so Dolores is like, I gotta leave. I gotta fucking leave. This is an outright lie. How dare you? How dare you? Please sit down. Sit down. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Sit down, okay? Why would you walk out on me? Okay, I put out cronuts. Okay, Jen Fest have finally just figured out what it is. Look, she's putting, she's putting it on her hat, on her head like a hat. She's ridiculous. Okay. You got to stand and watch this.

So then, um, she goes, no, I remembered that I told you because you were out to lunch with Teresa and Jennifer. She goes, I don't care where I was. If I was in the gynecologist office and they just like sit there and look at her and she's like, what the fuck? What does that even mean? Fessler, why are Fester, why are you putting cronuts out of your lips like it's lipstick? I'm just trying to figure out what this is. You fucking never told me you were having everybody over for a reunion review. Do you want to come? Never. And Fester's like, oh, well, I'm going to watch another rift in this friend group and I'm so fucking sick of this BS. This can't be it, right?

Clearly there's deep-seated problems that they just haven't discussed yet, right? Guys, tensions are high. Let's take a breath. Let's drink one of these cronuts. That's what you do with them, right? We don't have to keep beating this up, okay? Take a fucking breath, everyone. Well, I'm very offended, okay?

I'm one of your best friends and I've never caught you with Latin Cup fitness, because I know. You know what? I'm sorry. And you had cronuts here. Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. It's like a mix between a sorry and Frank nutting on a crowbar. Okay, that's disgusting. Okay, just relax now. Okay, let me give you a cronut and not that kind of cronut. Well, I'm going to tell you a crow nut and not that kind of crow nut. Well, I'm going to tell you the truth. I do remember telling Dolores and we recall it in two different ways, but I'm not lying. And Dolores was like, oh God, it's just so draining.

It's draining on everyone's soul. Who do you believe? I 100% believe that Margaret said I'm having people over to come talk about the reunion and Dolores said, I'm not fucking doing that. What are you, crazy? I'll get spit roasted if I do that. I'm not doing it. Yeah, I think so.

I don't know why Margaret wouldn't invite Dolores to that. So I think that happened. I think Dolores is, it's just probably so quick and fleeting and people forget. There's so many times where I am absolutely certain that no one told me something and they did and vice versa. I think once you're older than 23, you just can't be so sure about your memory anymore.

I think she probably remembers it very well. She's just mad at Margaret for bringing it up on TV because there's a lot of stuff that she could bring up on Margaret on national TV. And Margaret Margaret by bringing it up innocently Margaret is throwing her under the bus with Teresa and the audience and saying oh Dolores knew about this the whole time and now she's acting so offended. And you know because it turned into such a dark thing it's like I'm sure people get together before reunions all the time but this turned into allegations of bo-deedle and the know, spying on each other and the,

you know, which of course, Teresa is going to ride to her grave. And like, meh came after my daughters and the or whatever fucking bullshit Teresa comes out with every time to make herself the ultimate victim. But I think Dolores was like, Oh, God, now you're going to try and mess up with my my friendship with with with Blinky over there. Oh, you're going to have you're going straight to hell, bitch.

And so Dolores says, you know what? That meeting was never mentioned to me, but the fact that she's looking me in the eyes and telling me, yes, you were invited, she saw an opportunity to make me look like a bad friend to Teresa and a liar. Thank you, Margaret, because now I know what you're capable of doing to me.

I don't think that was it at all, personally. I really didn't think it was a calculated thing to make Dolores look bad. I think Margaret was like, yeah, I invited you. I don't think that was it at all, personally. I really didn't think it was a calculated thing to make Dolores look bad. I think Mark was like, yeah, I invited you. I invited everyone. And I think that Dolores is just in a sense of heightened sensitivity, place of heightened sensitivity, because of everything going on with Teresa and just getting pulled in many ways. And Teresa is constantly pulling the card of you're either with me or you're against me. You have to have my back, even though I will literally never have anyone else's back, but you all have to have my back the most out of anyone in your life.

Yeah. So Dolores was like, listen, you know what? This is terrible. And she goes, don't cry, Margaret. And Fest was like, everything's just so intense right now. I mean, it's just so intense right now. I mean, what are they going to do next? Make a hot dog bun into a cake?

I mean, how are we all supposed to deal with this? Amara just like, oh my God. And then she tells me that the house we're supposed to go to burnt down, burnt down, really? Yeah, it totally burnt down to the studs. Can I just say it didn't just burn down, it burnt down to the studs.

You got a little margin there. Listen, she didn't mean to call you a lying cut fitness. You didn't mean to imply she was lying. Cronut probably didn't mean to get hit by whatever monstrosity this donut turned out to be. Well, it burned down to the studs and that's what it is. We're good. We're good.

We're good. Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. We're fine. I'm sorry that I yelled. We're fine. It's very normal. It's all very normal. I only yell at my sisters like that. My God, bring them on. That's who's family we need to start building this show around.

Geez, bring Val and the sisters on. I know. I was like, Dolores, sit down. Like, why was I like, what are you acting so crazy for? You know, you put, you enter one cronad into the situation, everyone goes berserk, like no one can handle something like a hybrid pastry anymore. What is this? You know, you know, I only get mad at people I care about. You know that, right? I wish they'd cut to welcome back scumbags.

My favorite. Okay. Okay. Well, you know what? I think we all need closure and we all should have one last thing where we all sit down and everyone should calmly have their last say. They say their piece, give their last rights and move on. That's it. Okay. Yes or no. She's like, yeah, well, I've got to say, I'll be very calm about it. I'll be very, very calm. Sure. Right. Looking forward to that. Sure. Right. Looking forward to that. Okay. So then we go to the food eyes and they're setting up charcuti boards and she's like, Oh my God, I hope that charcuti board doesn't fall. Like I'm literally going to drop this whole thing. This is nuts. John, watch me. I'm going to do a charcuti board and it might fall. Oh my god, everybody just see this. This might fall. I hope it doesn't. My god. Is everybody watching? I'm like, oh my god, I need to fast

forward through food at doing a fucking charcuterie board. So Danielle comes over and she, Danielle's like, Ooh, it smells lovely in here. Yeah, you know, I wanted it to not smell like dog, but now I feel like it smells like toxic pumpkin. Okay, but not talking about Teresa. So Melissa comes and they check in about John Fuda's allergic reaction. And Melissa's like, I thought you were gonna die

in my house. Why does everyone wanna die in my house? Just cause I got the best house in my home. And so Fuda gives us her monologue. She's like, so after Gart's night, I was adamant they go to the ER and he wouldn't go to the hospital. He just wouldn't do it. He just kept saying, Italians don't hospital.

Italians don't hospital. So I got an allergist in the area and he went for a full allergy panel, not even joking with you, full. Guess what he's allergic to? Absolutely nothing. Are you, is the film still going? Is the film still going? It's crazy. Let me tell you what we think happened was he took a bone marrow shot and then a little tiny piece of the bone maybe got stuck somewhere in him. And that's what happened. And he kept saying, Italians don't marrow, Italians don't marrow. But then he kept coughing.

So who's right or wrong here? Is that camera still going? Is anybody writing this down? This is a good story. Do you want me to start from the beginning? So the lights start to flicker and Danielle's like, yeah, it's blinking. And she's like, oh, yeah, the blinking because they're on a dimmer switch, but they're not dim with lights. OK, so here's what happened.

I got these dimmer bulbs, these bulbs, and I kept flickering. So I went to every allergist. I said, could you do a test on my light bulb? And they said, we don't do allergy tests on light bulbs. Turns out we think a little bone marrow got into the light bulb. You guys still listening to this? No. Come on. Oh, my God. Why are you falling asleep? Come back to the toxic pumpkin. I'd rather hear about that. Danielle's like, Hey, you guys want to know what I said to Janet at the podcast? I said,

we're at a church. I'm surprised that they didn't burn down to the ground. Right? It's like, yes, we've been rehashing this. She's been rehashing her greatest hits from that night for like five episodes now. So Melissa goes, yeah, and then the quit burned down to the ground, that's crazy, right? Yeah, I wonder if that was her bedroom that was on fire or if it was Therese's bedroom. And Danielle's like, it was, it was Therese's bedroom.

Yeah, it's the one that went down to the ground. And I was like, what? Maybe it went down because you were in the church. And I was like, yeah, that was funny. That was funny. So, okay, so this has been something, they want to know what happened with Theresa's house. Okay, so this is something that Theresa's been wanting to say

and get off her chest for a long time. So what happened was she had a lawyer there, Jim something or other, he looks like my aunt, my aunt Cicely anyway. So he was there and we were all sitting around and Gia was also there and everyone's like, that's weird, that's weird. And she goes, yeah, well, they were trying to tell us

that they have evidence that Margaret would have been like trying to hurt Teresa and Louie and like talking to the ex and get information about Louie out through Margaret and stuff like that. And Melissa's like, but yeah, this woman's been reaching out to all of us because I'm on display on display. Sorry. I just want to get in one last time before it's my final episode. You never see me again. So she's saying, yeah, I mean, this girl, Louie's ex, like, like not only her, but anyone who's ever been in Louie's life contacts contacts all of us. I mean, one of his nieces came up to me

in a restaurant down the shore and she said, "'Hi, I'm one of Louis' nieces "'through marriage to his first wife "'and I just wanna tell you, be afraid. "'Be very, very afraid.'" I love that everybody in this family is both warning against Louis but also kind of trying to get on TV too.

Yeah. So Danielle is like, I mean, what I took from this was that Teresa's 90 pounds soaking wet cause she has so much anxiety and Rachel's like, yeah, well she's 90 pounds soaking wet because she's on ozempic, not because she's upset. I like the idea of like Teresa being on ozempic and then thinks her late losses cause she's so anxious about something in Louis life. Well, also you're allowed to be sad and on Ozempic. Two things can be true, you dick.

And also don't, you're going to be on Ozempic soon because everybody will be. So shut up. Shut up, youth. Shut up, youthful one. It's like, it's like later when she calls Teresa hot dog lips, like seriously, you're going to throw a hot dog lips around when you live in a Hebrew national house. You know what I mean?

So Danielle is like, I'm not throwing Nathan's when you live in a Hebrew national. I just like it. I just like, like, don't, don't blame it on Ozempic. Um, but it's just, it's funny cause Teresa's using that as an, I think she's using it as like a crutch. I mean, Teresa's anxious, but I think that Teresa's sort of embellishing here. I think she's just looking for an excuse

to get mad at Margaret, you know? So Danielle is like- Wait, embellishing what? Her anxiety about the Louis situation. I don't even know that, oh yeah, okay. Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't think it's her saying it. I think it's everybody else, but yeah, it is her saying it, of course. So then Danielle's like, yeah, Teresa's a straw,

Teresa's like a shell of a person, you know? I mean, I guess she's always been kind of a shell of a person, but like you see it on TV, you think I'm gonna meet her, maybe there's something more in the shell, you know? But you open the shell, guess what? There's not even a nut in there. It's literally just a shell. Yeah. To be fair, this is kind of a cast of shells. So Melissa's like, so what are we doing here? Are we going to have a last supper? Like legit, like the last supper? And Danielle's like, yeah, pretty much. So what's that going to entail? We're going to go to dinner together? Is it like the last supper? Like really, is it like a supper? Is it be a final supper?

Melissa, you're going to a dinner. The way the dinner's gonna work is you're gonna have dinner and you're gonna fight, like you do every single episode on this show. So Daniel's like, yeah, we gotta get everything out so we gotta get out. So we gotta do one of the dinner. The last one, it's the last dinner,

just like Jesus here, you know? Like Jesus was gonna have another dinner, but then his dad treated him bad because his other brother wasn't nice to him you know so that was that to him you know what i mean so Danielle are you planning on reconciling with Jen she goes yeah i was a good i hope that Danielle never gets fired so that i have another season to at least try because it's like a carnival game that you just can't win, you know, trying to figure out how this woman talks. Yeah, I just wind up going into Dorinda or start like I just go into I always just start

in some place. But by the end of the sentence, I'm like, oh, I'm like Erica, like drunk Erica Jane. Yeah, I'm not even close. And I don't necessarily I never strive for accuracy, but I haven't really found it yet, but I know it's there somewhere. So God bless it. I hope she gets another chance. I hope we get another chance. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I think-

Just putting my request out there to the gods. I think that she had two violent interactions with Jen Aiden sort of seals her fate though. So Danielle was like, she's saying, that's a good friend to him. And because better than I think it's a recent candy because I actually listen to him. And that's like so pathetic that you can't even enjoy a friendship.

I mean, listen, the amount of free kids bops she could have had, she just stuck around with me. Just the amount of free kids bop. And they're like, are we going to be able to talk and stick? Yeah, I got a lot of stuff I got to get out, but I can't get it out because I'm so upset with her. I'm like, I just can't say it. So like write it down. It's like, ah, I think okay, phonetically, maybe speak it to a busboy and then have the busboy say it. How about have your daughter do a dance routine to it? Okay. We'll set it to like

in sync. Yeah, that's that that's pretty appealing, but I don't know if I can do that. So anyway, she's going to say her piece and we know it's going to be a shit show. So now, uh, now it's fall. We're seeing lots of shots of like Halloween stuff and we go over to Danielle's house where the kids, she and the family, they're all going to be carving pumpkins and they're getting the pumpkins onto the table and stuff and they're going to decorate. And Danielle is next to Nate in the kitchen and she's like, so, uh, I think I'm going to text my dad. Uh, we'll call him Sam.

Sam is my father. Oh, I shouldn't have said that so loudly. Okay. How about we call him? Okay. We'll call him dad. Nope. Nope. That's just what we call him anyway., we'll call him Dad.

Nope, nope, that's just what we call him anyway. Okay, I'm gonna work on the code name. Yeah, you know what, you gotta have a code name because the kids, they don't wanna know nothing's going on with their family, all right? All right, pretend that's a pump because my brother is standing in the God damn brain and cutting his brain and fucking gots

all over the fucking floor because that's what he deserves. I come from nothing, piece of shit. Eric, Eric, they don't know nothing. So, you know, if you know, we use these code names because if we could protect our children from that pain, well, we will, we'll protect them from that pain. I'm like, or you could just text your dad

and make sure there's no pain that they have to be protected from because this is the stupidest shit I've ever seen. So there's that pain that they have to be protected from because this is the stupidest shit I've ever seen. So there's that too. Yeah. Listen, I don't want these kids to feel that pain until they cut me off in 20 years. Know what I mean? Like they deserve their own original kind of go off of family. It's tradition. It's tradition around here. I don't want these kids to ever know what it's like to never speak to a family member,

which is why we're not going to speak directly to our children about what's going on about me not talking to my dad and me not talking to my brother. Well, I want to teach the kids this communication, which is why I'm not going to say nothing to them about nothing. You know, I really wanted my dad to come to the bougie bougie's kids launch party and the kids bought music video, but it just never happened. Turns out my dad doesn't like totally obnoxious environments.

So we're gonna work on it and we're gonna see if we can turn it around today. So then Nate is trying to help the son with the pumpkin, but he just draws a terrible picture on it and the son looks so pissed off. He's like, yeah, wish I could tell daddy how much he sucks. But you know what? We don't we don't talk in this family. I'm just going to sit here and ready.

He's like, hey, Valentina, how about we call Dad Sam so he doesn't hear this? Sam really doesn't know how to do a fucking pumpkin, does he? If Sam ever comes near me again, I'm going to fucking kill that motherfucker with a stupid fucking Sharpie rooting my goddamn pumpkin. I'll tell you that thanks daddy for the pumpkin He didn't get a thing. Yeah To be fair. I'm like has Nate ever done a jack-o'-lantern before he drew he drew like a human nose on it Like that's not how you carve a pumpkin. You can't make you can't try human nose. That's not carveable

He drove a big fat nose and he goes you like my pumpkin my pumpkin? And she goes, what's up with that nose? I never seen a pumpkin with a nose like that. And he goes, just like you honey, before you got your nose job, wasn't your nose like that? She's like, I never, I never, what? I never, I never got, I never got no, no, what do you, I don't even know what's called the nose job. Ha ha. No, never not gotten no nose.

No, no, the only person in this family We ever got a nose job with David Linda right right kids, huh? We don't talk about the nose job hold on one second. I've got it. I got a text Jennifer Jennifer Fesla Hey, Jennifer Fesla. I'm no longer talking to my husband Could you text him for me and say I'm really offended by the thing he just said it just shows he doesn't have my back he just said it just shows he doesn't have my back. Oh, I got a text from Sam quote unquote Sam. All right, let's see what Sam said to me. Sam said, honey, I love you so much.

I'm always there to support you. Not as much as your brother, but he's got a penis. Oh, by the way, tell my grandchildren I love them. Please, please, please call me back. Please, please tell them Linda's a bitch, but that grandpa always loves them. Please, I'll send your money through the paypals you know what this has been a very pivotal year for me you know I lost my friendship with Jen Aiden because I didn't know who she was and now I do and sometimes who is it who's had this that sometimes

when you lose certain relationships it makes you mourn the most important ones in your life I'm like I don't I don't think that's a thing but but sure. Sure, go for it. I think that was Buddha who was like, before you cut somebody off, try to think if there's somebody else that you should cut off more. So she was like, yeah, that's the first time my dad ever said nothing, something like that to me. You know, life's too short, Life's too short, am I right?

And Nathan's like, yeah, honey, you know, I guess we should all say we love each other more often. So then we go to Marge and Joe and she's getting ready for the last supper. Just like basically everybody did, you know, for the last supper. She's like, oh my God, get my sandals. I'm gonna look so fucking hot at this last supper. Jesus really is gonna have it coming and then we got the Aiden's house and Jen's like, you know, baby, I just don't know what the vibe is gonna be like. Like what are we walking into? And he's like Yeah, you might be walking into the lion's den. Be sure to bring some lib Be sure to bring some lib. Mmm.

You'll be going into the lion's den, and while you're gone, I was thinking of visiting the tiger tent. What do you think of that? Call me. Look out for little kitty cats. If you need any help, just call. I'll be here at the foot of the bed on the couch. My hair messed up. Just doing this with my eyebrows.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. And then we go to the Fuda house where Rachel's like, I was thinking of wearing, going for like a mob vibe.

I'm like, you mean a Rachel Fuda vibe? Like, it's like, that's just the, I hate to break it to you, Rachel Fuda. You kind of always are doing a mob vibe. I'm like, you mean a Rachel Fuda vibe? I hate to break it to you, Rachel Fuda. You kind of always are doing a mob vibe. It's like, I really love this jacket. I bought such beautiful clothes for this trip and I'm not going to get to wear any of the clothes. And you know what, John? If you look good, you feel good. Did you see me making that charcuterie did it look good felt good and then Dolores is getting ready and place oh I love that yeah well you bought you bought me this in Paris and

I haven't won it yet oh I don't I don't think you want to waste it honey UFC fight you get the joke that I just said because it's like you're you're fighting it's like a it's like you're fighting. It's like a brawl, like UFC. Just think about it, Dolores. Well, listen, the people who have issues with each other, I want them sitting across from each other because they got to look each other in the eye and they got to speak and they got to tell each other, we rode together.

At some point in each other's lives, we've been in the same car. We need to stand up for each other. That's how we do it in Patterson. Also, when people are sitting face to face, this way no one else gets hit by the salad when it gets flung across the table. Just a direct path. The shortest distance between two dots is a straight line. That's so true too. Because at first, you're going to want to keep them within throttling

distance between each other. Listen, we all remember that Teresa was very far away from Margaret and Nashville. And she sent those cups of flying a lot of, a lot of collateral damage, prostitution, horror. Teresa was diagonal to Danielle. It's like this time let's just keep the damage in a specific location. Yeah. And that whole thing, Teresa getting all violent and like swinging all that glassware and all that food and all that shit, thinking she's just being like iconic.

And it's like humiliating to do that to somebody. It's just so fucking gross that she does it and she gets away with it all the time. They have an ad for something, something, oh, villains, that show villains is coming up and Teresa is on it. And so they had an ad on Bravo and she's like, I'm a villain. And then she like flips over a table and I was like, oh my God, is she gonna be doing that in like Branson, Missouri for the next 20 years?

Just coming out and flipping a little plastic table over. Like it's just sad at this point, enough. She will be doing that in Branson. Speaking of Teresa, we then go to Teresa getting ready. A musical review of Louie's allegations. So Louie is like, so hey babe, what's your plan today to navigate around Margaret? Okay, how are you gonna do it?

How are you planning on doing this? She's like, I don't have a plan babe, because I'm not a strategic person. Blink, blink, blink. He's like, yeah, I know you're not. Just let it flow. As they strategize. He's like, yeah, you know what you need to do?

You need to tell her, stay away from our family. And you know what? I hope Margaret and her family, I hope they suffer. And you know what? I hope her son fucking suffers the way I suffer, the way other people in our family suffer, dealing with a woman like that disgusting, vile human being. Oh, okay.

I thought the kids were off limits. Like, can we insert a Tarita's daughter's, you know, fake tier monologue here somewhere. What a fucking pig. And all while wearing a transcend shirt, by the way. I know that's the best part. All it says transcend on his shirt. Um, can he also enumerate the ways in which Margaret has caused suffering on him and his children and his family? Like how exactly does Margaret meeting with this ex, this ex who has spewed her story to every outlet she possibly could, not just Margaret, everywhere,

sent emails to everyone and every podcast and every blog. How is it that this is Margaret who's caused the suffering? And also how have these messages even caused suffering for the kids unless you involved your kids in this? Because guess what? When we talk about Danielle and protecting the kids, et cetera, one way to do that is to not drag your kids into it. Another way to do it is not have, I don't know, maybe Gia sitting in at the James Leonard, you know, summit that happened in the kitchen with the bagels that go untouched. So these two have

a lot of nerve talking about their daughters. Yeah, you know, look, I just, just because it's season finale, I've said it all last, all that season that this was happening. And I will always say it, Marge went too hard with that. Like, you know, that stuff about Louie and this, when Teresa didn't want to hear it, she went way too hard. But the person who's putting this family in danger is Teresa. Teresa knew of these abuse allegations. They were all public.

You're not gonna tell me that Teresa didn't read any of the blogs. She saw the freaking crazy ass video that was about the character. And that's all she wanted. Yeah, she's the one putting her family in a dangerous situation. She's gross.

She's putting the whole cast in a dangerous situation at this point. That guy's nasty. He's nasty. He's really nasty in this scene. I mean, we've seen him get nasty before, but let's not forget, wasn't it just last week or the week before he's like, Margaret, that fucking skank, am I right? Well, yeah. Just from an HR standpoint, how's this guy even allowed on TV? Just from, you know, properly fitting t-shirt standpoint,

this guy shouldn't be on TV. But you know, the other thing is- They can have that rule, this is Jersey after all. But the other thing is that, okay, let's say his kids did suffer. Because you know, I'm saying like, oh well they should protect the kids. But you know what though, sometimes these things do get out. It does affect the kids.

So let's just, let's actually take like a more graceful stance for one second and say, okay, let's say the kids did suffer, which is not cool. Regardless of what you think about Louie, his kids should not have to be in this mess. Let's say they have suffered. What sort of person says, I hope your kids suffer as much as my kids. Like, you know, the old adage, two wrongs don't make a right. I mean, it's, it's trite, but it's pretty true. And like, it's extremely vile. I think this guy is saying, my kids have had such a terrible time. I hope your kids have a terrible time too.

Like, I mean, it's just pathetic. And again, wearing a transcend t-shirt while doing this, it's like, it's awful person. So it's like, she's here to take advantage of everything that's going on. She's a real piece of work, real piece of garbage. And Margaret doesn't apologize to you. You know, she ain't even worth sitting in front of Teresa. She ain't even worth it. She ain't even worth it. And then whenever Teresa talks,

he just stops and does his blue steel like lip purse and then his squinty eyes sniffing like mm hmm. Mm hmm. Fucking crazy. Get away. Run, Teresa. Run, girl. Okay, back to me. me all right I have a few final things to say to Teresa but and that's it but by the way when she finds out you know the real truth all bets are off because I'm going to give Jackie a moment to address what I know about her and I'm gonna say Jackie

Judas Goldschneider okay put that in the trailer okay Jackie Judas Goldschneider do you want to tell to me everything you've been doing behind your back okay Joe it's gonna she'll stunned, stunned into silence. Joe, put down that chrono, I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Back to Louis, he's like, ah, so you go in there, and you kiss and you hug all the women that adore you, and the ones that don't, just let them be. Because you know Rachel's just, you know, like a husband, he's a bottom feeder, a bottom feeder. Like, if people knew this guy's story, they'd be laughing at him to the bank. They'd be laughing at him to the bank they'd be laughing at him to the bank you know how

People do to the bank to evil people they just laugh then they go They should be deposit sometimes they take money out sometimes They're not even a member of that bank and they say what I gotta pay four dollars to get out cash Fuck you. I hope your children suffer Mmm, sorry to interrupt, but did somebody say something about a bottom feeder? Sorry to interrupt, but did somebody say something about a bottom feeder? What are we feeding the bottoms today? Daddy's hungry and needs to be fed. So Margaret, you know she's garbage and your sister-in-law, she's not even worth a tenth

of a second of your time. Ma, how much is that? I know, let's not get too specific with units of time for Teresa. Huh, tenth of a time second, what? I'm giving her five feet of my minutes. Noah, trust me, my brother, he knows me really well, and he knows when I'm done with him.

I'm not gonna say the word never, but never, I mean forever, I'm like, he knows like, like, why I'm done with him. Like, I'm not gonna say the word never, uh-huh. But like, you know, like never, I mean like forever, I mean, whatever, I mean, oh my God, I mean, I'm in a rhyming loop. I mean, I don't even know what to say. Forever, ever, never, lever, bevver, ah. Tsh, tsh, tsh. Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap.

For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening, catch ya on the second half! She's a Daniela. Itchels! Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trickles. She's never scary. It's the green fairy. Jamie. She has no less namey. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches!

And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD! We're takin' the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.

She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery We love you guys!