Watch What Crappens - #251: Ham Moons Over Miami and the Great Chilean Sea Bass Debate

Episode Date: December 22, 2015

Time Codes: Opening: Steve Harvey and Miss Columbia and earbud manners on planes. Real Housewives of Atlanta: 11:35 Vanderpump Rules 1:19:25 It’s Christmas week! What better time to discuss abusive nephews and ham slapping? The Real Housewives of Atlanta in Miami was a doozy this week. Fights, social commentary, and super bitchy remarks by Tootie’s mom Docker wearing husband. Then we head over to Vanderpump Rules, where people finally learn to be nice to LaLa after they realize they’re boyfriends will be leaving them for Vegas trips until the end of time. Merry Christmas!! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. For all our other links and extras, go to http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Texture is the app that gives you an all-access pass to the world's best magazines right on your phone or tablet texture is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to texture.com crappins hello and welcome to the watch what crappins podcast the podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on the braves i'm'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV,

and here we are, Christmas week, with the gorgeous little Christmas angel, even though he's a Jew, just like Jesus, Ben Mandelker of the B-Side Blog and the Banter Blender. Hello, Ben. Hello. And I shouldn't say the B-Side Blog. It's B-Side Blog.

It's okay. You can call it the B-Side Blog, but it's just B-SideBlog.com. We've been married for years now, and I'm saying the B-Side blog. It's B-Side blog. It's okay. You can call it the B-Side blog, but it's just B-Side blog.com. We've been married for years now, and I'm saying the in front of your website. Well, no, it just means you're getting older because now you start to say things like, I'm going to turn on the HBO. I'm going to turn on the Bravo. The Bravs.

The Bravs. It's an actual thing. So thank you guys so much for listening. It's a very special week, not just because it's the holidays and like we're all partying with our families at home. Yeah. But because I'm in a bed. I'm not at a couch desk today. I'm in my bed at my mom's house and my mom's and dad's house.

No desk. There's a pillow. I'm cross-legged in my new camo skinny jogging pants thing. And you're also speaking sort of quietly as if Krampus himself is sneaking around in the hallway. You don't want to alert him of your presence. Well, I got new buds and they're really suctioning right into my eardrum. And I can't tell how loud I'm being. I'm like deaf in here.

I'm like, bleh! So I keep taking one out so my tone's changing. But also I'm holding my mic today like I'm singing deaf in here. I'm like, bleh. So I keep taking one out, so my tone's changing. But also I'm holding my mic today like I'm singing at a bar. Well, that's like me on an airplane because, you know, so many idiots wear their earphones on an airplane. And then, like, when a flight attendant comes by, I was like, would you like anything to drink? They go, I'll have a ginger ale and a Diet Coke, please. And you're like, please. Do you not know how to use earphones that's me so so when they come by i always try

to speak quietly because i of course also don't actually no i do usually take out my earphones but occasionally i don't occasionally i don't and and those times i try to speak more quietly but i actually fear that i over correctrect. So, I mean, who knows? Life is very difficult. It really is. To headphone or not to. And why are you doing it? Because I wear these suction headphones and I do yell when the stewardess comes and people give me that look. And I think, fuck you.

I don't have a baby. You know, like people with a baby can do it. I'm never going to have any children. This is my fuck you to everybody else. Okay. Yeah. I lost a little weight, so I'm not in two seats at the moment. So while I can't piss you off in that way or have a baby,

I'm going to wear my little headbands and scream on the plane. Enjoy yourselves. You know what I actually hate? I don't know if this has happened to you, but it's happened to me surprisingly more often than you would think. There's like a couple or there are people who are flying together and they're in different rows, but they're like ones behind the other. or they're people who are flying together and they're in different rows.

But they're like ones behind the other. And then like the one from behind taps the one that's like in front and like gives an update about what they're watching on the plane. And it's, are you watching this? Are you watching this? It's really funny.

You should watch it. I'm like, you're like yelling about your stupid opinion about the Katherine Heigl movie. No one cares. Please. You shouldn't be so proud to admit that you're watching Katherine Heigl right now. Both of you in public. It's always I mean, it's always like that.

Or it's or it's like, are you are you watching Big Bang Theory? Are you watching it? It's it's funny. You should watch it. You would like it. It's fun. You should turn it on. You like this episode so funny because christmas comes around and i'm like this reminds me of the

love and the joy that the world is about you know and then i get on a plane and then it's all dead again i'm like thank you now i can really enjoy christmas with my true personality hating everybody yeah well you know it could be worse. You could be Miss Columbia. Oh my God. I know we're talking about Bravo and I haven't even done the opening yet, but you have to tell me about that. So hold on.

Come to watchwhatcrappens.com for all our links. Go to patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens for the bonus episodes and to subscribe as a premium member. Those bonus episodes are so fun. Go get them.

The ringtones are about to go up those are always really fun the google hangout was amazing this month so funny and this week by the way we haven't recorded our bonus episode yet we're going to record it on wednesday because uh tomorrow when tomorrow from when we're recording this which is tuesday who cares uh ronnie is seeing star wars which i saw yesterday so the bonus episode is going to be us giving our full rundown on star wars the force awakens so if you want to hear our opinions on that movie come listen to bonus episode oh that's gonna be so amazed i can't wait i'm gonna go with the whole family so excited this episode has been brought to you by the gorgeous and talented marvin jay

it this episode has been brought to you by the gorgeous and talented marvin jay marvin my fan my fan you know who else we love miss christy doherty christy this goes out to you gee yeah i don't know i was trying to think of a christmas song the model. That's better. Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy Doherty. Marvin J. Marvin J. Chris, Chrissy Doherty. Marvin J. Marvin J.

Chrissy Doherty. Chris is Chrissy, Chrissy Doherty. I want to play a bell. I always was really jealous of bell people. I was now that's teamwork okay so i don't like watching the news and stuff because gross so tell me what happened with this miss columbia and uh steve harvey he's in drubs he's not i don't i can't imagine he's really in trouble i mean it was a mistake i mean i read it on twitter so it's like yeah burning him alive you know so basically uh it's you know miss universe that's a big moment and he says and the winner of miss universe is miss columbia and she goes and she gets they put the crown on her and she's crying and she has the flowers and she does the full walk all the way to

the front of the the catwalk thing and does the waving. And everyone's cheering as if it's like the World Cup. And then she walks. The World Z Cup. Yeah, exactly. The World AAA Cup. And so. It's also safety.

She has like AAA boobs, but also like gets picked up when her keys are locked in her car. Oh, triple A. So she's there and then Steve Harvey comes out and he's like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. It's actually Miss Columbia is the first runner up. Miss Philippines is Miss Universe. And there's all this confusion the audience is

doesn't know what's going on miss philippines is like wait what wait i'm sorry everyone's confused and ultimately what it comes down to is that the two women wind up side by side again and they take the crown off of miss columbia and that is cold right there you know if a murder was committed with that crown later her dna would be on that crown and she'd be in jail and mark ellenberger probably would have put her there not cool steve harvey yeah and so steve harvey was apologizing he's like this is my fault i mean it's like the most hilarious thing and you know i don't think he shouldn't be roast it was a mistake and now you know i have a friend who who is like i mean like i work in production and you know it's it's really the cue card guy's fault, and it's so hard.

It's not his mistake. Be nice to Steve Harvey. I'm like, I mean, it's funny. I'm sorry. I'm still going to laugh. It was such a major blunder. That's a pretty big one. I like that.

Be nice to Steve Harvey. Well, forget Steve Harvey. Be nice to Columbia, that poor thing. And then Miss Philippines got a used crown. He's like, oh, never mind you one. Here's your used crown. forget steve harvey be nice to columbia that poor thing and then she'll be more famous used crown he's like oh never mind you won here's your used crown she's like thanks well i can only imagine if the vanderpump rules kids had actually written the uh written the cue cards would be like and the winner of the 2015 miss universe passion is a basic bitch oh something must be wrong here i don't think you have to announce that.

I think that's assumed when you watch it. Take a good look, Steve Harvey. Take a good look. It's the last time you get this, honey. He's all spitting on Miss Columbia's door on the way out. Yeah, Miss Columbia would spit on that door, I think. I knew it wasn't Miss Columbia,

but you know what? I said it anyway, so go knew it wasn't Miss Columbia, but you know what? I said it anyway. So go suck it, bitch. Why don't you do that? Why don't you suck it? Actually, Huffington Post actually had Kristen Dowdy write a review of the Miss Universe pageant. And her review was in its entirety, seriously? Seriously? Seriously? I'm just joking. Seriously? And her review was in its entirety, seriously, seriously.

I'm just joking. That's what I imagine all her columns would be if she were ever hired by Huffington Post. Seriously. What's your world? What's your ultimate goal? What would you do if you won Miss America? Well, I'd make t-shirts i'm in a much better place now i'd make well i'd make t-shirts that say i'm in a better place world peace so as you can tell i mean this podcast is already off to a crazy start this is what happens

when one of us goes home and we record the podcast i'm home i'm getting drunk all day i'm surrounded by drinks cigarettes you know other shit i'm surrounded by i don't gotta explain it all i'm in texas now you like cactus and and yosemite sams oh my god football um i uh i have not had a think thin bar because it's night. And it's not that I don't eat them at night. But that's like what always happens. I'm finishing watching a show and I haven't had lunch yet. And I have to run down to Ralph's and grab a Think Thin bar and my coffee and come up and podcast. But now it's nighttime.

So I had dinner. So I've had an affogato. An affogato. I've had an affogato. I made myself an espresso and i was like wait a second i think there's some vanilla ice cream in the back of that freezer and i pulled it out and dusted off the ice crystals darling you have to explain what an affogato is i'm not the only witty the only it's when you pour the only person who's like what the basically take you take a

scoop of vanilla ice cream and you pour espresso over it a shot of espresso or just like a cup of espresso and that's it but it's like a very fancy way of saying espresso over it, a shot of espresso, or just like a cup of espresso, and that's it. But it's like a very fancy way of saying espresso over ice cream. Well, I was kind of sad when you told me what it was earlier because I actually had an avocado tonight at a restaurant. It was part of my meal, and I was eating it, and I was like, God, something's hard in there, and I pulled it out, and it was the price sticker. And you remember when we were watching top chef uh yes and that guy made the tomatoes and there was a price sticker still on

it and i was like come on you lazy fuck and i went off on this guy karma it's again it's happened something i've said on this podcast came in and bit me in the ass well i mean i bit it the price you get it yeah i do get it i'm telling you right now, take the keys. Daddy's drunk. All right. I'm going to take the keys of my mini Hummer, and we are going to drive this podcast. Really slowly. Really slowly and erratically through heavily trafficked streets where we shouldn't be. So we're going to talk about Atlanta and then Vanderpump Rules.

But for right now, Real Houses of Atlanta, this was an interesting episode, I thought. This one got me going. It's got me fired up. I have thoughts. I have opinions. I have a lot to say. Yes, this was a crazy episode. First off, again, at the beginning of the season, I thought, oh, no, we're screwed.

Because it was kind of slow. I really can't watch Cynthia the whole time pretending like pretending to live like have a normal life. But wow, it's gotten so good. And I have been laughing my ass off. And this one made me laugh and made me scream and then laugh again. Well, I was happy because, you know, sometimes on this show, it doesn't really move me to an emotion beyond amusement. But I like it on these shows when I get into the situation and I feel something. I get angry at a character.

That's the fun part. And if all we're doing is just laughing at every time Portia puts on a thong and gyrates, it's like, that's fine. But I want to be invested. Well, I was fired up. So this episode began. We're still in Miami. It's exactly where we left off last week, which is on this boat. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. So they're on this boat. They've just been at this bar. They're heading back to the house. The women have recruited uh tammy's nephew glenn and glenn's friend i think his name was jaron i don't remember but he doesn't matter who he is and then uh there's also this guy oliver and if you remember where we left off uh portia decided to play never have i ever which again is really a it's a bold move when making

a first impression uh on a guy. But sometimes guys, you know. And it's also leading to everything because what has Portia done, really? Not much. Well, I don't know what she's done, but we quickly learn what Shamia's done. She's like, never have I ever had a golden shower. And she's like, drink. And the best part, after she drinks him, basically was saying, like, yes, I've had a golden shower.

They cut to Kim Fields, To kim fields duty who has escaped this game and is in the corner of the boat and she's on the phone with her family with her husband and she's like hi honey said the spaghettios were a big hit yay i was dying she goes to call about spaghettios meanwhile they're talking about golden showers so so good why does cynthia have dot eyes cynthia gets a facelift i don't know how she does it between episodes because this is a continuation of last week did she go downstairs into the pantry and like have her eyes propped open with toothpick does she has dot eyes today what happened cynthia explain your eyes uh too much peter's brew she had an awful god or they went wrong so glenn has already started his uh because kenya was snapping at him she was like hey hey hey hey you hey young one like an old lady you know like asking for someone to bring her a mint

or something like you young man uh and he's like oh oh, hell no. What did he say to her? He's like, oh, hell no. I know you're not snapping at me. I know you're not snapping at me, yeah. She said, I was just trying to get your attention. You got to get a better way. You got to find a better way. So he was already nasty.

So when we come back, she's still trying, but she's not snapping because he's yelled at her. Well, she's also being funny, too, because you're always saying how Kenya always is talking in drag speak now. So it was kind of funny that her response to him was like, ooh, she's spicy. She's spicy. I was like, I don't think that's going to work on him. I don't think he's going to respond well to drag talk. Yeah, this guy seems like he's going to love drag queens. She's like, wow, I hope this guy beats me up in a bar and like drags me around a neighborhood you

know in his pickup truck yeah whatever so they go so they go back to the house and they're also like cynthia brought up bj's while driving i have to say i'm making fun of her eyes to be ridiculous because seriously she's like i never have i ever given a bj while i'm driving she didn't even say she didn't even say it as as eloquently as that she's like never have i ever and you know she has this thing when she doesn't know the right word she sort of plays it's almost like she's playing a piano or sort of swiping both ways on the piano or just with her hands like her fingers are forward her wrist is flopped forward or fingers forward and she sort of spreads out like like a like a miniature brushstroke she was like never have i ever done a job you know

sexual job and i was like what you're a process she's like no no like in the car like in a like cynthia just say never have i ever blown peter in a car it's okay she's doing a little breaststroke she lurches her head forward too she's like's like, oh, Cynthia, you're so bad. I wish I was there so I could be like, oh, Cynthia, you so bad. So anyway, what did you guys get in your Val pack? Did anybody get anything from Chili's? Never have I ever gotten anything in my Val pack. Drink.

Wait, let me guess. Was there a coupon for a car wash or dry cleaner there's like five car washes and i'm like do these car wash people go through the val pack and see that they're paying for basically ads literally side by side with other ones do you pay more to be in the front like how does this work have you ever noticed that there are actually ads on your hangers from a dry cleaner and i i sort of it's one of those things it's just sort of like noise so i don't look at it but the other day well like not so long ago i looked at it and the ad on my dry cleaner hanger was for a woman woman named suzanne and she was advertising her there it's your resume like here's my treatment

oh you know what it's like where did you you know you know what this orchestra needs it needs it needs a flautist where do we find you know what i was uh i saw suzanne on my hanger let's call her up so weird i was so mad getting dressed this morning because i had lines on my shoulder and i was like goddamn wire hanger and i went to throw it away and noticed that there was a flautist listed on there suzanne you're hired bitch but don't touch my sweater again i'm telling you right now uh wait why is that what wire hangers do to sweaters yes that's why you don't use wire hangers mommy dearest had a point okay like she was a bitch and she was abusive but she had some good points i mean i don't use wire hangers with Mommy Dearest had a point. Okay. Like she was a bitch and she was abusive, but she had some good points. I mean, I don't use wire hangers with sweaters, but.

Well, you're a gay person. Like you better not have any wire hangers. Because I feel like it's bad, but I don't actually know what it does. I have wire hangers to prove to people that I get my laundry done outside of the house. So it makes me feel fancy. Even though it's like poor and like the ceiling's falling in. What'd you ask me oh wire hangers when you use wire hangers on your clothes your clothes hang heavy and it puts a little dent

a dent but like a little tiny line of a dent and you can never get it out like sometimes it goes deep in there so if you have heavier clothes no wire hangers well thank you because i mean i always knew like wire hangers are bad but i didn't actually know why never have i ever used a wire hanger drink awkward kim's like now i can get down with this game never have i ever used purell drink cranberry juice kim's like never have i ever splurged and bought those little laundry detergent pods instead of powdered laundry detergent never have i ever gone a few miles over the speed limit during carpool drink i'm surprised she walked away during the golden showers question i mean the bitch gets beat on by little boys every day got kids if anybody knows the golden showers question i mean the bitch gets beat on by little boys every day if anybody knows a golden shower it's little kids

i just like that she was checking in on how the spaghettios were received like as if there would ever be any question like like i was really nervous about those spaghettios were they was that gonna work i'm just i'm concerned that that kids might not like SpaghettiOs. She's like, hi, honey. I'm just calling to make sure you enjoy that processed food that's probably building cancer cells in our children as we speak. Is that going okay? You can't be calling as a good mom and then asking about SpaghettiOs, you know? Hey, honey.

I just was calling. You know, the UFO soup, did you serve that to them? Did they get scared that there were real aliens in there? Because I want to make sure they know it's fake, right? Okay, good. They liked it. Did you ever have that UFO soup when you were a kid? Does this make any sense to you?

Wasn't it just the alphabet soup special edition with the UFOs in it? Yeah, it's basically like alphabet soup, except it had, yeah, instead of letters, it had little UFOs, and they had meatballs that were meteors. It was the shit. Like, literally, probably. Now that we know about food. Between that and those frog popsicles, you know what I'm talking about? Yes, I do. Frogs have a chocolate back, and M&Ms for eyeballs or something.

Ooh, I love those. So this is a perfect way to go into abuse just kidding yes no let's talk about abuse i know let's let's you know i think i think this espresso was a little stronger than i was bargaining for because i like the walls i am off the walls i mean we i mean between the ufos and the frogs so um so they're already weekend man let's just fucking party i mean everybody's just driving home or like partying with their family anybody listening to this at christmas wants to party do it ben your line of coke is some espresso so you do it girl you go girl i'm behind you ho ho ho literally behind you walking very slowly okay so kim so these are gentlemen she introduces them to candy they bring them home she's like Ho, ho, ho. Literally behind you, walking very slowly. Okay, so Kim says,

these are gentlemen. She introduces them to Candy. They bring them home. She's like, would you like to meet these gentlemen? I was like, you've been obviously in the corner on your phone the whole time. Yeah, so Candy comes by. She's like, oh, see?

We have visitors. Excuse me, I was actually burping in the process of doing my Candy impersonation, which probably made it sound more accurate. It's also the look she has on her face like she's you know that look you get when you're about to let out a burp you're like she has that look when she walks in the room like oh my god she's always got that she has that skeptical look i love when kenny gives that look like, see, now, here's Raleigh. Raleigh. This one's not even that.

This one's that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, see, now, Raleigh works. So anyway, so the guy's there. And basically, all the activity goes outdoors. The hot tub party. The hot tub thing. So Candy takes a seat with Kim.

They're on their Chez lounges enjoying it. Other people are by the hot tub. And Glenn walks by Candy and he's like, by the way, I don't think I told you, but congrats, sweetheart. Which, by the way, is already... The way he was saying it... It's one thing to say, oh, congrats on the baby, but for him to be like, congrats, sweetheart, was so...

What's the right word? I don't know if I want to say offensive. It was like... Aggressive. He's extremely aggressive and sexist. He's like, hey, I didn't say, you know, sexist. He's like, hey, I didn't say congrats. He was so gross. He was like leering and gross, like trying to start shit.

Which I get. You're coming onto TV. He wants to start shit to be famous. I get it. But you're going to fight with a pregnant lady on TV. I don't think he was trying to. No. So I just posted something on our Facebook page.

This guy was just shot in the leg two months ago. Literally, he was at T.I.'s restaurant called Scale. So I just posted something on our Facebook page. This guy was just shot in the leg two months ago. Literally, he was at TI's restaurant called Scales in Atlanta, and he got into a fight, and then wound up out in the parking lot, and he got shot in the leg and was taken to the hospital. This guy is no good. He is no good. He was not – Why would someone open a restaurant called Scales? Who wants to eat and think of a scale at the same fucking time? That's the craziest name I've ever heard.

Scales. Seriously? Fish. Seriously? Scales. This is the punishment. You know, it's like, let me eat. I'll worry about the scale tomorrow, bitch.

I'm not going to go eat at the scale. That's disgusting. That's an eating disorder. The bigger question is, who goes to ti's restaurant i can't i mean like it's just not what i would be looking for in the culinary experience looking for like treasure island or something they're like this must stand for something maybe it stands for ti1 diabetes so stupid i know sorry everyone so um so anyway If one diabetes. So stupid. I know. Sorry, everyone. So.

So anyway, the point is this guy, Glenn, he walks over and he as if as if by him congratulating Candy is like some big favor that she should be so appreciative for. And he's like, congrats, sweetheart. So he so she's basically like she's like, okay. She's like, oh, thanks. And his immediate response was, what attitude was that? Like, dude, first of all, don't speak to a woman that way. Don't speak to anyone that way. And she just said, thanks. You just said something that was, you know, you just was very condescending to her.

And then she says, thanks you know with maybe a little edge or just Candy being skeptical like who are you and why are you saying calling me a sweetheart and then you're going to be angry at her that she has an attitude you can't even really put reason into this because this guy was just fucking crazy and he was looking for a fight like literally with a pregnant

lady he's trying to start a fight and he said what's that I don't give you attitude and she says something like dude it's cool we're cool and he said yeah i'm cool until someone disrespects me and it starts getting all he had a real conflict it was like very borderline you know in terms of like like the whole world was out to get him he was very very victimized victim he was very like everything was like i'm trying to like you don't talk to me that way why would you talk to me he's felt very slighted it was really it was really crazy but also he's an idiot because people should know forget that candy's pregnant you don't start up

with candy okay you know we know where she comes from we've seen mama joyce we've seen that shoe you don't start with candy well candy sure knows how to deal with abusive people that's for sure like candy's not gonna let anything escalate she will keep mama joyce calm for so long i mean really mama joyce could have been on a shooting spree by now that bitch is crazy so candy knows how to deal with an abuser so she's like whatever leave abuser and he does he walks away because he's not gonna get anything from her and he goes like sits right next to charrette and then meanwhile so then things calm down a little bit for for a moment and uh portia you know she has this guy oliver there and and portia like gets out of the hot tub and she starts twerking in slow motion and it was just very odd and my favorite part about it was that candy kim and cynthia were

sitting off to the side and they were just making snarky remarks and basically doing the play-by-play, and I was like, you know what? I could watch all three of them do a play-by-play at just anything for days on end. They were so funny, just with their little remarks. I loved it. Forget the people's couch.

Portia was so hilarious and so needy, just shaking that ass, and she really can't flap it so slowly it was like a really nice inspirational commercial where you see a bird flapping its wings really slowly on the camera you know past the camera i don't know it was like it was like planet earth planet earth when they show like a hummingbird in slow motion it's like see now you can see its wings it was like porsche i like wanted like a british narrator to come through and be like the porsche moves up and down i don't know but instead of hummingbird wings it's like two hams going up and down really slowly you see we'll get to vanderpump rules soon enough

so thus judging from the side was really funny they were like the old man muppets on the sides i was dying and so then so then the nephew candy said the only note i wrote down from that was portion went from being a stepford wife to a queen of fatland From being a step-herd wife to a queen of botland. So funny. So then the guy says – so now Glenn starts up again. And he tells Sheree that she has an attitude problem. I was like – didn't he tell Sheree that? I was like – and I don't even know where it came from.

And I was like, you have some balls. There's one thing – was like i thought it was crazy when you went after candy but going after charrette i mean this is a woman even right that i didn't see that i put let me see here porsche with man i put porsche was talking to her man and saying i make my money i just need a man for support i was like what shut up you just need a man for support didn't a man like buy lease you that car and that butt to you like you've literally got a lease sewn into you that a man bought get out of here i'm yeah looking for money maybe not today but long term she's like you're a short con never

have i ever i make my oh so anyway and then glenn yells at Kenya for saying Tammy. So Tammy starts coming over. That's what I got. Is there something later? No, no, there was something before. Maybe it was the way the editing was, but it looked like he told Sheree, like, you have an attitude problem too. And I don't know, maybe he was looking at Kenya or something like that, but it looked like he had said it to Sheree.

So I was shocked. I was shocked that sheree didn't react which is what makes me think that maybe he didn't he wasn't saying it to sheree or was out of context but i was just like wow you're gonna start with sheree sheree who's gone up but you like you may be you may be tall but she went up against bob woodfield like she can sheree is jacked she can handle her own so like don't go up against sheree now you're really not afraid i think it was at tammy that or at kenya because uh tammy was coming over in the from the pool and you know tammy's just always like right well this is this is a little bit later when tammy came up maybe i was just so entertained by porsche being ridiculous talking about how she just needs love it's like shut up you just gave someone a trophy because he's rich

like two weeks ago shut up porsche i know on second thought please don't ever shut up porsche just keep talking so then though what happens is what what you were saying is that like tammy comes like she's wasting she comes sort of like paddling over and kenya's like oh here comes auntie here comes auntie and then glenn's like don't even talk bad about my auntie, which I thought was a really funny thing to say. But he was like, I'm like, dude, she wasn't she wasn't like talking bad at all. She was it was like whatever. I mean, Kenya was fine. She was just, you know, like being playful, you know.

And that's nothing for Kenya. But he was ready to just go with anybody and yeah he's like coming over like yeah and then he's like don't be mean to my auntie and then i wrote i quoted him saying you beaches here want some bullshit i was like he said i'm not going to play here with this bitch ass bitches bullshit tammy's like what do you at it's the lyrics to one of his songs so then so at this point kenya is like okay she's had enough so she goes over to like the the other aunties and goes over to kim and kenya and it's like he's just being weird he's being weird which was actually a pretty understated comment for kenya normally should be like he's just being

aggressive and i don't feel safe but she was just like he's being weird he's being weird and then they're like let's call over tammy and let's have tammy ask that they leave so they call over tammy tammy comes over she is wasted she's like tottering over to them and uh you could just kim at this point kim fields she just had such a look of horror on her face she was just like it's like she'd never seen a drunken person before you could just see in her mind she's like too many spaghettios she's been served too many spaghettios must call home and warn them they found my m&ms in the couch cushion she's on a crack binge so kim's like praying and uh yeah so they were telling tammy and she's like she go to he got aggressive wait what he smarted off to you what was she

saying i don't know she was just wasted and then they were like can you just can you get them to leave so she's like yo not a problem so tammy right like rounds them up and they head to the front door oh wait i have to say sheree said something great here when kenya went over to them to tattletale sheree was like well kenya need to make up her mind because woman here kenya flinging a vagina to glint and the next you know i just love how she said it the next he's threatening which is it kenya i love her i know so this yeah this definitely escalates really quickly because tammy's like guys we gotta go he's like what oh hell no and starts coming in kenya

well he's like why and she's like and she's like well because you were being you were being aggressive and this and glenn's response is to actually start like striding towards kenya and be like bitch ass you bitch edited like in a really threatening way and not only does he do that well no so he so he starts coming at kenya in a very like a lot of times on these shows there's a lot of crime wolf like there's a lot of like you know you know like i did not feel safe i did not feel safe oh yeah yeah and also just the fighting where it's like hold me back i'm gonna kill him but you know they're never actually gonna it's like a vanderpump rules right you know but this one this guy yeah he was like for it he had a look in his eye like i can't believe this woman spoke back to me and i'm gonna put her in her place right now you know he was

gonna get right in her face i don't know if he was gonna punch her or not but he was going he was getting mad so security steps in and security starts pushing him back and then he goes off he goes crazy and they push him back to the door and then he goes to charge after kenya again and tammy is there also trying to control her nephew and he literally flings pushes her to the ground like it's not just like a light thing he just knocks her over as if it was like i don't know if she were tammy i mean how hard could it be you know that is it's just like knocking over tammy and i the quote i wrote from him is i ain't gonna play a little bitch and then i put grab wiener grab wiener grab wiener it's so funny to me that that's always a fighting thing like you little

bitch and it's like i'm just gonna squeeze my wiener while i yell at you and then they show tammy on the ground and someone's going i think it's uh phaedra i'm assuming it's phaedra going pour like a glass honey pour it like a glass these people are awful and then i wrote these obese guards like thank god for these obese guys because no one can even punch him that guy was like cracked out so he needed like walls of things around yeah walls of man he was like being crushed by bouncy houses like he wasn't being hurt but he didn't move it's like an inflatable suit you know it was like he got like he basically he got basically tackled by the triplets of belleville it was just like oh but they show okay this is where there's so many so

much funny shit starts to happen i was dying because everybody on reality shows is ridiculous and needs a piece of the pie. So Tammy just got pushed down. Plus she's drunk. Plus she's dumb as, I mean, goddamn dirt. Let's face it. So she's laying on the ground and they're looking. They're like, Tammy, Tammy, come to the light, Tammy. Tammy, come to the light.

And she's blinking like really slowly like she's about to die. And then they show uh like or shamia and shamia is like like trying to cry she's pushing so hard she looks like she's giving birth to the like an entire peter piper pizza large pie in the toilet she's like trying to cry and then everybody's trying to be dramatic and then cynthia phedra goes up to the mt emts when they finally get there and she's like here's the story with the emt here's the story with her yeah she fell oh she doesn't have a fever her windpipe is clear i've had a temperature in her anus she seems seems to be fine there. Also, she has no wax in her ear. Split ends. You might want to look into the split ends. I'm like, what are you doing? You're not a doctor.

Step down. She's like, I'm not a doctor, but I have watched many episodes of NBC's Third Watch back in 1999 to 2000. She's like, Crossing Jordan is still on my DVR. My favorite part was even before the MTs got there, like going to the commercial, you hear charie scream call the ambulance ambulance i wrote down ambulance

too from mary to medicine oh my god so um oh and also charie and in this is going, What do you do, though? What do you do? What do you do? What can I do? What can I do? What can I do? What can I do? So it was a total disaster. They cart off Tammy.

And then this really ridiculous fight breaks out between Cynthia and Kenya, because they're standing there. They're sort of coming down. And Cynthia's like – she's like, I just feel bad because I brought Tammy around. And I feel bad that she brought – Cynthia, of course, is trying to make it herself.

That's why Kenny got mad. Well, Kenya was like, no, don't do that. Don't do that. It's not your fault. She actually says no don't do that like don't like don't do that it's not your fault she actually says don't do that it's not your fault that's what she actually she was she wasn't even mad she's just being like cynthia like don't beat yourself up like please i don't want to deal with you beating yourself up like it's not your fault but she says it in a sort of like a loud aggressive way because she's the way i read it is that she's still kind of like emotional so cynthia's like don't tell me what to do and kenya's like i'm not i'm just telling her that it's just like well

but i'm just saying i feel bad could you not be saying it so loud my hair and they just start to fight i think that's totally differently because i took it that she that cynthia came up and this whole huge drama happens and kenya's trying to cry because kenny can't cry either let's face it so kenya's standing there trying to cry and have this dramatic scene of this woman who just almost got beat to death or whatever and then cynthia's like guys this is my fault because i introduced tammy to the group and kenny's like no cynthia don't blame yourself and she's like no really guys like no seriously cynthia it's like get the fuck out of my scene with your stupid stuff we're not gonna make up something about peter right now and then cynthia's like what don't tell me to turn down and kenny's like

i need you to turn down right now cynthia you turn down it's like no you turn down no you turn down no you're gonna turn down you are gonna i'm gonna put you on mute i'm fn um volume downing you muted bye turn down turn down turn down turn it's like oh my god you guys keep turning off the power is just gonna go off you know the power is gonna click off because you're gonna go all the way to the bottom of the volume yeah well uh the the craziest thing to me happened next and i was surprised that this was actually a recurring theme for like a good next chunk of the show was phaedra then says in an interview she's like this could have all been avoided if kenya had just minded her own business i was like what i'm sorry no no no i i

am i actually thought that was extremely offensive you know uh and then this was like a recurring thing you know about how you know uh that this guy was heable. He was drunk, da-da-da-da. And then Kenya went and started up with him. I'm like, no, no, no, no. I mean, maybe it would have been wise as he was leaving just to steer clear. But, like, you can't – like, the way they were saying it, it really pissed me off. And actually, I did, like, a search on – I just did a Google search on this guy. And a headline came up.

One of the top headlines came up from this website, Madame Noir, which is like a pretty well-known website. And it's written by Victoria – okay, I don't – I can't – I'm sorry, Victoria. I can't pronounce your last name. Uwamaroji. Anyway, really well-written article that people should read because it's basically saying, the headline of it, it's basically saying it's Kenya Moore, Glenn Rice Jr. and the problem with only looking out for black men

and not black women. And it's like, you know, and the whole article is about how, like, the women go out of their way to kind of almost even let him off the hook. Like, what was he doing wrong? Or Kenya shouldn't have done this. And it's like, you know, it's really fucked up. It actually really, really upset me upset me well it went way i mean it ended up going further later in the discussion like how they were trying to steer this thing which got really crazy and phadra really went to town being

gross in this episode yeah especially being apollo's wife like. Last time we saw your husband, he was coming at you with a screw gun. Okay. I mean, granted, it didn't have a head in it because he couldn't find the bolts. I mean, who can ever find the screw heads, you know? Mm-hmm. But he's still.

And then yelling and screaming, and now he's in prison. You know, he's like, come on, stop. Like, you're going to go on this whole thing like it's the woman's fault? Come on. Yeah. She knows it's not. Now, it's the woman's fault. Come on. Yeah.

She knows it's not. Now, Kim, she's not the only one. Kim Fields was doing this, too. And I was a little surprised. I was actually really surprised that Kim Fields was. Because everybody just looks at it through their own, who they're mad at. And so anything that happens is going to be Kenya's fault. And normally it is.

Yeah, normally it is. And Kenya was a drama queen and she was totally fine with this guy and she'll tell she wasn't you know he was gross from the beginning so that was kind of my i was like why is he coming to your house when he's snapping at you and acting like that i get that he's the nephew but yeah just it was gross and it was kim got really gross but kim didn't hear any of this. You know, Kim's off on the FaceTime talking about canned food she's feeding her future obese children. You know?

Yeah. Well, Kim is basically, you know, her passive aggressive bitch flower comes out and she's like, well, it was like a volatile situation. And I don't think, you know, adding negativity to it helps. That's basically what she said and then kenya just kind of she's like oh fuck off kim you know and kim's like okay perfectly kenya said you don't provoke a man into pushing a woman okay and then uh kim she said i don't want any finger pointing and then kim tries to mom her oh kim these this is not a five-year-old and we said last week you need to watch the show before you go on it because you would know you do not try and mother

someone with mommy issues that deep okay because she's automatically gonna hate you and kim's got kind of nasty with it too she was saying um i wasn't finger pointing dear i understand you're upset sugar or whatever she didn't say sugar but you know she was saying um i wasn't finger pointing dear i understand you're upset sugar or whatever she didn't say sugar but you know she was very like condescending um and then she actually said you don't go up to a hornet's nest and poke it with the stick and then you're shocked that hornets try and rape you or beat you you know and i thought that's interesting because you just did poke a hornet's nest so i hope you watch this episode and listen to your own advice yes well the thing is this though humans

are not hornets i mean i understand the analogy i understand what they're saying you know and again would it have been smarter for kenya to um to just keep her mouth shut yes but she should not be held to a double standard here i mean and if we're gonna because because if he but if she um if it like why is it like her fault for talking back to this guy why why are people not saying this guy should have taken the higher road and seen this crazy woman talking and just been like whatever peace out you know but it's like it's you know when you say like oh it's not that it's just any woman i think they just hate problem and also it's that the problem is kenya's a huge drama queen and she causes shit on purpose well that's why you can't cry away yeah and she's always running away so

when something real happens they're just like oh you're just being a drama queen they were sitting over by the pool or the you know they were watching they were in the mom seats and so i think they just didn't understand what was happening and they were watching they were in the mom seats and so i think they just didn't understand what was happening and they were like you're just an overdramatic bitch period so when it's real it's like a cry wolf you know i think you're right with that yeah i mean i mean and the thing is with the hornet's nest is that like you know hornets you know they it's you know it's in their nature you know they're going like someone comes for them in their yeah but if you find them in your yard you exterminate them you call the exterminator and you have them killed

and the point is this humans are not hornets okay and humans are capable of saying hmm you know like maybe i should approach this in a different way now i know when you're drunk you sort of lose a lot of rational thought but i don't i just it – it really rubbed me the wrong way that like to – that these women were so quick to actually blame Kenya for this. It's one thing to be like Kenya should have kept her mouth shut. That's fine. But don't be like, well, this is all Kenya's fault. It never would have happened if – it's like, no, no. This is not Kenya's fault at all.

It's ridiculous. Yeah, it was glaringly the other guy is terrible. Like that was a glaring obvious fact so yeah exactly and in fact in fact they're they're all they all sort of like afterwards they're all uh this is skipping a little bit but actually no it's not skipping a little bit but basically um after kim leaves to go to the hotel which of course she was just waiting for something to happen so that way she could i mean her bag was pretty much packed as it was just like she goes kim threw her mama keeney up or her mom keeney up on the balcony like bye bitches yeah they just actually roller skated away and then she does this like 2d roller

skating ballet these women are nuts i was dying during this part they were being so funny yeah but then they're doing like the postgame report and again like a good number of them are like especially i think they're being like led by phadra talking about how kenya you know she just adds negativity to situation that is drunk she shouldn't have done that like they just go because they don't like her they have issues with her when things like this happen you know you pile on and then when they all are sort of in a room together and they're they're sort of trying to broach this thing that it was kenya's fault and then candy's like see nah i was there and she basically says no he came at me i'm a pregnant lady and he was being weird and i saw i saw him being strange and aggressive all night and uh because because they were trying to spin it that like you know the

thing is with kenya is that like if someone doesn't want to play with her, then she has to kick them out. Like what's going to happen? Like what's going to happen if like with like, you know, 2D is like, well, I guess later it was. And she's like, what's going to happen if she decides she doesn't, you know, she doesn't like me on my roller skates in 1979. And all of a sudden I'm not allowed to play with her. I'm like, no, that's not what it was. It wasn't that she was angry that he didn't want to play with her her it was because he was responding in a really nasty way yeah he was yeah yeah i mean it was so obvious and i think that they because once the candy said that they were

like oh you know but then porsche of course is still trying to stick up for him in a way she's like you know you can you can hit a girl but don't hit a pregnant girl that's bad i mean he was gonna hit a girl but a pregnant girl it's not that he was being so aggressive it's that he was being so aggressive with a pregnant woman exactly obviously is worse but you know what you don't have to be pregnant for it to be offensive for you oh but it also i mean here's where here's where kenya on like a macro level should learn a lesson which is that you know if you do cry wolf over you know like the smallest little infraction um then in moments like this your credibility is shit and then you need someone like she doesn't cry wolf we're saying it wrong

because we're she doesn't cry wolf she doesn't wolf. She like invents a new breed of animal that doesn't even exist and like tells the entire village about it. And they all build security fences. It's like the village, you know. She cries Krampus. Kenya, I mean, she's just such a fucking liar that nobody believes a thing that comes out of her mouth, including me. Like if I hadn't seen it, it's like the below deck cast they're like oh he was totally sexually you know harassing rocky in a way or being a dick in that way right exactly so oh gosh either way so then things settle down and then like the next morning we find out that uh tammy and her nephews came back later that night in the middle of the

night and and they like recorded that they had this crazy video and um they're like all hanging out and then like tammy knocks on the knocks on the door the bedroom and they open up the door and she looks crazy she was a crazy she's staring there like she's been possessed like she was just was taken away pod people came and she's back. And she was in her hospital gown and a bathrobe with her head cocked, just staring. And they were filming this like it was a horror movie. And Candy was narrating it. She's like, and then see, she was at the door.

And they said, how'd she even get in the gate? Who let her in the gate? And she goes, she even get in the gate who let her in the gate and she goes must have climbed the gate well you know if if anyone is gonna be like a horror movie person it's gonna be tammy because i could totally see her like walking down a staircase upside down on her hands and legs you know like total exorcist style i could see that cleaning to the ceiling in some weird way like that's tammy for sure what's that movie called mama or mom what is it where the the little orphan children abandon in the woods and they have some like devil mother that's like trying to steal yeah oh it's it's house or something is it like crawling like that like crawling in the world something mama isn't it like like mama i think

it's just mama oh just mama oh yeah kenny goes girl this is not children of the corn rolls or corn rolls i wrote corn rolls my typos are so stupid what's a corn roll it's like a cinnabon made out of corn it's a texas cinnabon cornrows jesus christ rondell um so phone video of phedra doing the horror movie lol i'll scream at tammy's face best episode ever i wrote i was laughing so hard my dad came out and said what are you fake laughing about i'm not fake laughing i'm laughing my ass off and he said it but it's the same thing over and over it's like that's funny because we're talking about a horror movie here oh yeah so then uh the the update on tammy is that she does not

have the she didn't have a concussion she was just drunk she was drunk and she hurt she had the travertine as peter said i'm just laughing again about how she was doing like the first responder police report it was so funny I questioned the spider in the corner he didn't see anything that's out of the ordinary so I think we're good to go with his body

oh so Candy was like bye so she left they all just started leaving so funny so for this is where it got even darker. Phaedra takes it to an even grosser place here. And this is the next day, I guess. And she's talking with Sheree. And she's making this all about messy Kenya.

And then she says, you know, that Glenn, that could be our boys. What if one of our kids said something in public? And then a cop shoots them, you know, that Glenn, that could be our boys. What if one of our kids said something in public and then a cop shoots them, you know? And then it became this police shooting shit, which has nothing to do with, I was like, what are you talking about? You are totally drawing two things together to make a case against Kenya that is just not cool.

Yeah, like Kenya could have gotten him shot. Like, what is Kenya doing? She could have gotten him shot. And Sheree says labeling is the problem. And then Phaedra's like, yeah, she's like any white woman in suburbia that's afraid. What the hell? So you're saying that she's racist

because she's assuming the worst about a black angry man and she's assuming that he's going to attack her no bitch he literally attacked her this is not assuming this is not like what the cops shot the wrong guy this is something where everybody across america would say oh yeah the cops shot somebody who was exactly somebody and in fact that that discussion that phaedra had with shrey if anything that will make the white racists be like see black people are so sensitive see this is what the problem all lives matter but um that's that's but you know so the madame noir article also addressed this and uh so this is what the writer says she goes uh phaedra parks please let's not compare him to Mike Brown.

I think it's a very serious issue, the misplaced fear of black men. And yes, some people see a threat in young black men that is really just false intimidation and things escalate in dangerous ways. Police are called, guns are pulled out, lives are lost. But there are some situations where that fear is not misplaced and where some men do things that are truly out of control. As Jody Walker of Entertainment Weekly put it, we do not need to protect black men, but we also need to protect black women. Just because we're all black doesn't mean that when we feel someone is acting up, we can't ask them to leave and just hope they'll oblige as an individual with good sense. individual with good sense and just because we're all black doesn't mean that we as women should sit back and take whatever happens to us what sense does it make to look out for everyone but ourselves yes i mean honestly to me that's taking it too deep because i think that phaedra is not even

going that deep she's not even thinking of it is that she's just being a fucking asshole and bringing up national pain and real tragedy and real shit that's happening. I mean, she goes as far as to say, I was in St. Louis when my grandma killed me. She was humblebred. And I saw the look in his mother's eyes. And I just looked at it. And she's not crying. She's doing the typical royal housewife fake pooping, trying to poop or pass a stone cry.

And she says, that could be my kid. You think your kid would ever fucking treat anybody little aiden in his little suit in his little bow tie in his car seat no but he is not going to do that because you raised him right and if you didn't and he did do that he would suffer in life i wouldn't go as far as to compare him to people who were unfairly shot by the police that is so so cold. Yeah. I thought so cold. I actually wrong. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I mean, I think I just brought up the thing that the writer said, because what Phaedra doesn't realize when she's being an asshole like that, and she's basically humble bragging and saying, oh yeah, I was there.

I was one of the few that got to like be there, you know, during this critical time. But while she's doing that, what she's doing is she's sending out a, she's sending out a message to people watching at home and this is what this writer's saying is like you know what like don't do that please don't do that because you're sending out this message and and this is what the truth is uh it's really really very frustrating terrible moment for civil rights she would never raise her children like that so she's making this

some political thing but that you don't allow matt you don't let anybody talk to you like that period a man or a woman that is some abusive bullshit but the fact that these women kenya and porsche particularly just sat there and giggled and just tried to get dick all night from this obviously abusive awful person this is before it escalated i mean he was really bad but the fact that they're like who cares he's hot let's fucking like gross like have some self-respect what is wrong with you women like what's happening believe it or not that's why there's men like this because that they get fucking pussy it's disgusting. Believe it or not, I actually think that like Sharae and Kenya and whoever else was – and Phaedra. I actually don't think they were trying to sleep with those guys because it was like –

No, no. Kenya and Portia. That's all I'm saying. Well, Portia had Oliver. Portia was – Portia has Duke. Portia has whoever is paying for her, Bentley or whatever. Either way, well, Portia is a different case.

But I actually think Portia was focused on Oliver. But the ones who were hanging out with him the most were Kenya and Sheree. And I think they were just enjoying flirting with younger guys. I mean it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what their intentions are. The point is if someone said to Fajra – It matters that they're even taking that at all it bugs me you know it bugs me seeing them sit there and giggle like he's so he's so charming and handsome i don't think they're really gonna get

his dick if they want the flattery you know exactly yes have some self-respect but then they should have all and and along your point is as soon as they realize that he was an asshole they should have been like oh no never mind out like we're older and wiser get off this boat you know goodbye yeah they should have pushed him in the boat yeah exactly off the boat you know what i mean but you know what tammy and her life vest yeah that's right let me tell you something if someone said to phaedra um hey you know what like the only reason why apollo's in jail is because you know what like you didn't you know what? The only reason why Apollo's in jail is because you were not a better wife and you made him feel like he needed to earn money outside of the marriage because you weren't being a good wife and yada, yada, yada. She'd be like, fuck you.

And that's the logic that she's applying to Kenya. So it really gets me and gets me going yeah i think of i think the general reason she's annoyed with kenya is true but this was an awful awful episode like if we're looking at this like if this is game counting bad game episode for her really bad and to be too because i get that tody did not see all of this but tody was not cool she was being a real asshole about it wow you know but she chose the wrong time to pick that fight yeah exactly so either way so then the girls go off and drive around south beach on these mini hummers i'm so sorry i'm doing this ben but i just saw this note by the hummer for some reason at the end of this scene it's like this dramatic scene they talked about the big brother and big sister club and how important that is and uh sheree goes

i had a big sister you have a big sister i was in that club you in the club and uh phedra said yeah i had a big sister but one time she took me to the pool and got my hair wet and that was it my mom said no more she cut it off and then sure they were laughing and sure it goes my big sister was a white girl i can't even do it that high because it's so late yeah you'll make sister want to you want to they're so fun i really love that charae's back on here i wonder what she did to not be a full housewife i know i mean other than not get the case to her house yet um so bus yeah they're they're on these little cars blah blah and then they're like they go to like a candy shop and someone's like oh someone says that phaedra's like oh you should or porsche's like i want to get this she's

like i want to get this for oliver and phaedra's like oh that looks like a phallic symbol and she's like what's that i just want to pet her you know um so then they cross cut this with Kim, who's now at a park with the family in Atlanta. And my favorite is Sebastian. That kid cracks me up. He goes down the slide. I mean, he's his mother's son. He goes on the slide as if he's being ejected from a cruise liner. He's like, has this look of fear going down the five foot slide.

He's like bracing against the sides of the slide with his hands. Oh, my God. I'm going down the five foot slide he's like bracing against the sides of the slide with his hands like oh my god i'm going down oh my god kim it's you it's your child he's i love that sebastian i love him i tell you i love sebastian and aiden two favorite children and real housewives i just wrote that this was hilarious that kim had to be back in a public park with children with a husband wearing khaki mom jean you know mom dockers up to his his muffin top it's like oh good you can only be comfortable with a man in khaki mom dockers i'm just i'm just imagining her in her paradise she's in like she's like a like the the ball the ball pit at like a at a what's a place it's like 10 cent hot dog night at yeah diablo's baseball game in El Paso.

Exactly. She's in the little ball pit, but instead of balls, it's all just like Chef Boyardee cans and SpaghettiOs, and she's just throwing them up and diving in amongst them. Having a fantasy sequence. Swimming around.

She's doing the backstroke through the SpaghettiOs. But there's also the spaceship shapes. It's like she gets all the special editions in one can. Oh, Judy. So she starts this. Were they at home or were they? I don't know when they started this. Did they go home?

Because I write that they're watching. Oh, no, they cut to a scene. Yeah, so she's telling her husband all about kenya okay so you know how she talks about how she doesn't really have sex or whatever so her or whatever wait what she's a prude but when she does have sex she's like a screamer oh okay well her husband is very catty and i love it she's married to like he's stealth caddy because he's in like mom dockers but then he says shit like they're what they show a clip of them watching kenya's pilot and he goes she needs to be recast like he's so funny and he makes bitchy little comments all the

time i love it i know uh he's they're very funny because they were they were like they're talking about it because you know she was talking about Kenya. And he's like, it sounds like she's pretty devious. And Kim's like, yeah, which is true. Regardless of this incident, it's true. They have the right read on her. And so Kim's like, yeah, I don't know if I want to be in business with her. And Kim was actually pretty funny. She's like, you know, if she brought me Game of Thrones, I'll put up with it.

But she didn't. That's what she basically said, paraphrasing. I'm trying to imagine what that would have been for Kim. Like that Game of Thrones. What was that Game of Thrones moment for Kim? Is she still waiting for Game of Thrones? Yeah, she couldn't get that. I think she's probably at her best.

She's going to get Blue's Clues. The HBO version of Blue's Clues. Blue's Clues. The HBO version of Blue's Clues. It's all dark. They never figure out the mystery. And that's the point of Blue's Clues. I'm like, fuck you, Damon Lindelof. That's not the end of the mystery. Or what's his name?

Steve or Jeff. What's the name of the guy on Blue's Clues? I don't know. I couldn't watch that show. I was like, Blue's? That's depressing. Clues? I've got murder. I couldn't watch that show. I was like, Blue's? That's depressing. Clues? I've got murder.

She wrote. Pass. They just chop off his head. They're like, HBO presents Blue's Clues. Blue's Clues got a drug addiction and never got the job, so it's just Blue's. The dog is just basically, has like big hair and takes a little blonde girl as his wife. It's getting dark. Well, that's all I've seen of Game of Thrones.

Basically two episodes. And at one point, there's basically one that maybe like Yo Gabba Gabba is like all the kids are dancing. And then one of the kids gets pushed out of the tower. Oh, that was good. Oh, that's a show worth watching. I mean, a show that pushes children off towers. And that was a oh that's a show worth watching i mean a show that pushes children off towers and that was a handicapped child too they really went there in that show oh no that's how he became handicapped oh you guys this is how my memory spoiler alert if i

have game of thrones in my head now it's really gonna explode blue the blue blue is actually a dire wolf that's what what the HBO version is. The dire wolf. Well, those things do a lot of good, don't they? They get you places, but everybody still dies. Thanks a lot, wolves. So, speaking of, they get people places, but everybody dies. Portia.

Okay, so what is this little scene of them giving Portia coochie juice? What is coochie juice? What was she she gonna put up her vagina you know from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ramsey and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february black history exactly exactly Parks, reconstruction, MLK, February, black history month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful.

Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own,

she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Oh, I missed that. I missed that entirely. And she was getting ready for her date. And she's like, you guys, you guys want to see my coochie? And they're like, no, no, we don't. No. Come on.

And she's in the bathroom putting her leg up. And then someone's like, we got you some juice. And she's like, what do I do with this? I got you some juice and my coochie. I'm like, yeah, some juice for your coochie. And she's like, I'll coochie for my juice coochie, guys. And then they laugh. And I'm like, what are they talking about?

Did she put the juice up her coochie? Now there's a clue. Blue. Get on it, Blue. What was in the coochie juice, Blue? Wow, Nick Jr. has really taken a turn. So this show went from being the funniest episode of all time to just everybody sleeping the next day during dinner they're making dinner and cooking just being really nice to each other and it gets so boring

that kenya actually says hey guys the reason we're here is for cynthia cynthia it's a peter trip do you want to talk about peter oh good and so cynthia like makes the effort to call peter and she's like peter this is cynthia plan on getting some tomorrow he's like okay babe thanks for calling me babe okay i'm gonna start up the mr coffee i mean the peter's blue machine the peter's keurig the peter'sing. Be prepared to get some tomorrow. Oh, my God. Start doing the helicopter at 9 a.m. She'll be in by 6.

So then, yeah, so they're basically all making a dinner, like a relaxed dinner, and Cynthia burns the garlic bread. But my favorite part about that is that Sheree goes, Cynthia, what's the smell? Cynthia, what's the smell? She just says it so fast. What's the smell? We burn the garlic bread, and bread she goes it still smells good now let's all cuddle on the mattress on the floor and eat that burnt garlic bread yeah and then meanwhile uh portia is basically on she's basically resurrected the show blind date all that was

missing was the talk bubbles um and she was she and oliver were at some bar and he's saying the stupidest things he's like oh you you guys must have been up talking it you ladies must have been gossiping you must have been talking and gossiping she's like ah she's like i would have he's like i would love to see you do a squat. She's like, ah! These lines are awful. The fire lounge. She says, you met me under peculiar circumstances. I was like, what? Do you even know what you're saying?

A peculiar circumstance? You were slow motion ham flapping. Of course it was peculiar. Who taught you that word? Where'd you hear that? And it's not peculiar. Peculiar. Peculiar.

Oh, girl. And then she starts talking. She's like, I did some squats by the pool. And he's like, I love squats. Maybe you do some squats right now. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I'm like, you're embarrassed now? Now you're embarrassed? Now she's demure.

Girl. And she says, I won't be squatting on anything. Oh, Portia. I mean, and then he goes, when Oliver goes in for a kiss, and then Portia's like, ah, and she, like, pushes him off. I was like, this is, was like this is i mean this was in 2015 this is the end of 2015 and i'd like to ring in this new year letting everybody know that now opening your ass cheeks and she actually did like an a-hole massage at them at one point

massaging your cornhole to new people in a hot tub is now um more innocent than kissing someone on the lips what the hell porsche well what kind of rules are those listen those were rules well established by julia roberts in 1990 with pretty woman okay a hoe does not kiss you're absolutely like don't you know don't you know and then she remembered she's like i don't want to be a hoe so she kissed him and uh and then roger lodge came on and everything wrapped up and then jason alexander tried to bone her at some horse event oh yeah poor julia but porsche is no julia roberts she's like i don't kiss i do swallow yeah but you know i have lines um so then there was like a really boring scene with todd and his daughter which i just wrote todd's daughter whatever todd plays pool next i like her hair i like

kayla's hair it's cute it's gotten very big and i like it very full head of hair next so then um kim was so now kim and kenya meet meet and Kim is walking to the restaurant. She starts to sneeze. And I was pretty surprised that she just did not go home right then and there. Like, oh, no. Oh, no. Germs. Germs.

Going home. Going home. They're such dicks on this show. I love that they put that in. Every little awkward thing with Tootie, they stop the music. And it's like Tootie walking all confidently down the street and then she goes – And then the music starts again and she walks confidently like who did you piss off over there lady uh and then they intercut that with kenya yelling

at the construction guys it's like what do you mean this isn't finished yet how have you not finished when i'm on film sets i've worked 16 hours a day i'm like no youtube movie shoots for 16 hours a day shut up nobody believes you there's no union for that kenya so then they sit and they have their lunch and the waiter scene the waiter was so nice and he looked like he didn't want to be on camera so i approve they had nothing at that restaurant they were just like can i guess can i get like a vodka tonic she's like oh sorry we don't have our liquor license and judy's like can i guess can i get like a vodka tonic she's he's like oh sorry we don't have uh our liquor license and judy's like can i get a cranberry juice he's like sorry we don't have cranberry juice either so you don't have your cranberry license i love that kim's got

some cranberry juice jokes saved up for a rainy day can you really cam so they're being really nice to each other and kenya the queen she was like girl you look so beautiful and then it cuts to kenya going really cam don't try that fake shit with me and then it comes back to the table where kenya's like cam i love you and then she says i may have sensed that you were a tad bit uncomfortable on the trip kim yeah and well and she was like you know i i saw you were torn between us and your kids and your husband and then he's like whoa whoa whoa no no no i wasn't torn. I just, you know, I want to be someplace where I feel safe. And I didn't feel safe there. So I left.

Kenya's like, okay, but you want to go back to your kitchen? She's like, no, no. I just want to be safe. Yeah, and she's like, you just manufactured drama and I don't want to be around that. She's like, there were no seatbelts and I feel very uncomfortable being with a group of people with no seat belts on i really don't appreciate everybody heading to the hot tub like that you're supposed to wait in a line and then move very slowly and single file get into the hot tub and someone you can't get in until that other person's out so it's called carpool i was very concerned that there was no Aladdin 7 on the showing on TV.

And I just felt like things were going to get very unruly very quickly. So I had to leave. You guys were trying to turn up. I wanted a fruit roll up. So that's where the difference is. Here's the thing. I wanted to stay. But at the same time, we just got a new copy of Madagascar.

And I really need to see it to catch up. we just got a new copy of Madagascar and I really need to see it to catch up. I'm just, I'm really into the Madagascar universe right now. And so, you know, it's a big deal. I'm going to do a marathon before the next one comes out. And Kim is still momming her. She's just talking to her. So passive aggressive. It's so good. Let me be clear, sweetie. When when you provoke somebody that's not something i'm gonna take part in and kenny is like um that was not the case i don't like i'm a hero

i saved everybody we could all be dead right now we would all be dead in the streets i'm a hero like nope you started it well it was weird because i mean kim was so condescending to because she was like she's like well actually i was there and that's just not what happened that's not what happened but i'm like kim you saw him say gotta give attitude to to to candy you saw he was aggro so like i was it was a little surprising she thinks that it was that and then kenya kenya added on to it yeah i don't think she saw because she didn't see that fight and stuff that was going on inside did she she was too late during that she was standing up to the side she's like walk watching through like her bedroom slash living room oh so she heard all that

stuff with him uh going crazy and then getting in the bouncy house of prison the bouncy house prison what is she standing up for never mind i take it back yeah i she was there she saw it i think everyone saw i'm so stupid i thought that she was like asleep or something i'm so sorry i always think tootie's like asleep or facetiming in the attic i don't even know she's in the scene i'm like tootie couldn't have known about this she wasn't she was off somewhere reading a story to herself no she was there everyone was there i mean it's how could you not so crazy craziness okay then i don't feel for her tootie you're dumb so then tootie says she holds fast kenya really holds that she's a stubborn

young lady um and those are her truths so i just have to say that there's the truth and those are her truths i'm like oh, oh, no, no. You're in so much trouble now on Twitter. I haven't even read it, but I already know. Yeah, she'll be in trouble. So then we saw the scenes for next week and I nearly broke out into tears when they showed the clip of Phaedra taking Aiden to his first day of kindergarten. And she's like, your first day of kindergarten goes, I'm still going to be your baby. And she was like, I know you'll be my baby.

I was like, you're my baby too, Aiden. You're mine. Also, something really, really huge happens next week. Peter spills a drink. They show Cynthia and Peter having dinner. And it goes, blonk, on the thing. And then the music goes, Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.

Really? That's a Cynthia scene right there. Peter spilled something. Even more importantly, Don Juan, he goes crazy about something. And he's doing that thing. He was basically doing a full-on cartoon. I always say he's the cartoon cat. Cartoon cat getting angry, stomping his foot,

and pushing his arms down and creating a little dust storm. And he's yelling at all the women. And then Portia's like, Don Juan just has his panties in a bundle tonight. His pink panties. Yeah, his pink panties in a bundle. That's exactly right. Don Juan has his pink panties in a bundle. Yeah.

Oh, Don Juan. Calm thyself. So good, then. So good. What do you want to do now? You want to talk about one of our favorite things in the world, Ben? Are you talking about texture? Texture!

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It's not just reading the magazine. It's really cool. Yeah. Although I like the idea that if you go on to Texture and for the very best helpful people okay it's not just reading the magazine it's really cool yeah although i like the idea that if you go on to texture and for the very best reads it's just a bunch of people just reading people it's like whoa there's porsche so anyway with full access to the top magazines across the country just about every and interest that you can imagine texture is the one present your boo is going to open again and again.

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I have to tell you, well, they're not our sponsor. Oh, actually, I mentioned this last week, so never mind. I was going to talk about the sweater again. No need, no need. No more sweater talk. No more sweaters. So we know that this is going to be a beautiful episode of Vanderpump Rules when it opens with scenes from last week of Lisa saying,

Lala, be nice to her. Don't be mean to her. Be nice to Lala. Oh, Merry Christmas to us all. Yeah. I love it. I love when Lisa makes us love Lawler.

So the episode opens and we're still at the homeless lunch. They're still eating. That's why you don't throw homeless people lunches. They do not go home. Okay? They're always there. You can't just say go home, homeless people. Well, that's exactly what they do.

They're like, thank you so much for coming. Now be gone. You do well to leave now. Actually, some really big news at the top of the show, which is that Shana has taken an envelope to the post office. Lisa was like, here, can you take this to the post office? I was like, okay.

Lisa would trust you to do that. Yeah, she was like, take this back to the post office. I was like, oh my God, she should be on our podcast. Her accent is just as good as ours. She's like, I'm already taking it to the post office. I paid 25 cents and opened up the glass thing and put it in the mailbox.

Like, no, Sheena, you put it in the New York Times box, not the post office box. What? There's like so many rooms in that damn restaurant. They're always in a different corner of it. Like, I can't get any. You know, I've been to Sur several times now, and I still have no spatial idea of how that You know why? Because Lisa has decorated it with those giant doors that you buy in, like, garden centers

in Morocco. It's like heavy castle doors, like wooden doors that you can't even break down in morocco it's like heavy castle doors like wooden doors that you can't even break down with a you know whatever what do you call barricade yeah yeah no no barricade i know not you know what i mean i know it's like i forget what it's called all the villagers yeah the ram so she's got those all over and i think now that i think about it she's using those as transformative sets it's like just turn the garden door this way have this lean it against that wall this time it's different the restaurant actually has the restaurant actually has a swing set it's amazing

yes it's like fly systems all right fly in the other part all right where is the scrim where's the scrim all right i want light in front of the scrim? Where is the scrim? Alright, I want light in front of the scrim. Alright, for the next scene, light's behind the scrim. Boom! We're in a different area of the restaurant. Alright, make it happen. Ken? Ken, you thought this patio

was only this big, but guess what? Light's behind the scrim. It's that big. Dan, could you tell me where to find the bathroom? I can't seem to find it again. It seems to always be moving. Ken, you have to go through. You have to go through the Moroccan castle doors and then make a left at the French garden doors.

They've moved. Oh, yeah. All right, Johnny. And then go through the water pitcher filling station. You should see a busboy and perhaps two waitresses there. And then go past the two waiters and waitresses having sex. I want to see the call sheet

for this show. You know, it's like, alright, we need 12 crew people and two cameramen by the ice machine. Yeah. Alright. Light the ice machine! So, they're like in this nook and then Sheena is bragging about the envelope she gets to mail.

And Ariana walks in. She's all huffy. And Ariana has now taken a page out of Sheena's book. And she's like, Peter thinks he's going to put together a guy's trip to Vegas a day after my fucking birthday. God forbid. God forbid. A day after your birthday that someone goes on a trip somewhere. Well, now you know how I feel.

Not being able to invite people to another wedding. She's like, I can't believe he would do this the day after your birthday in the same two-month span as my birthday. Seriously? I can't believe he would do this to you right after what happened with Shay. I can't believe they're going to drive right by azusa and not even invite me so you do have to drive by azusa to get to vegas all roads lead to azusa they do i've never noticed that we're stopping in azusa next time we go bang chicks in vegas bro yeah ariana blames peter and jacks poor peter you know he got his haircut short so now at this point he just looks like he has kristen shaw's haircut right it's like exactly kristen shaw's haircut so i'm sort of like like

you know like woman in her early 40s little slight perm to it yeah it's not the mom cut it's not the like when you just quite a mom cut and the baby start pulling your hair i mean that's just horrible my poor sister was like missing clumps and then you cut it because you have to you have to get mom hair it's like a necessity or get your hair pulled out so it's not that but it's like the i've been a mom and now i'm a carefree fabulous mom whose children are at school all day yeah exactly exactly i'm a mom who's not getting barfed on right now so yay me it's like free mom you know yeah exactly it was definitely a minivan haircut regardless but um the best is that the best of that like minivan number three almost down to a nice not compact but maybe a sedan or something

yeah you know what it is it's like a it's like a mom haircut for sort of like what you said the kids have now gone to school and now she the mom's getting back into the workplace a little bit maybe. And now she's getting a little – letting it grow out a little bit but still being sensible. Yeah, exactly because those kids will still pull your hair if they're teenagers. Like they don't have to be a baby to pull your hair. So Peter and Jax are asking for permission for Lisa to go to Vegas. And my favorite part was when Lisa's like, Jax, you impregnated a girl in Vegas. And they do a flashback to Jax telling Stassi that he cheated on her with a girl in Vegas. And they just held that flashback for a few seconds.

They just show Stassi. She just starts whimpering. and they could have cut away like five seconds earlier but they're like no let's watch stassi cry they were so evil and she's crying in this big dramatic scene and she's got this gigantic statement necklace that's made out of like alice in wonderland fucking mirrors they're huge your huge statement necklace your statement is that you're broke stop crying and get to work those are the days god stassi why did you ruin yourself last season why did you do that who does that i love a self-destructive waiter stassi self-destructive life is gonna please me for all time because i'll be able to watch it on insta thanks internet well um the funny thing is then the guys are talking telling lisa who's going and they're like yeah it's gonna

be it's gonna be us and sandoval and schwartz and shay what why are you shay just got out of rehab and you're gonna take him to vegas yes oh my god it's I mean, I can't make it up. You don't take an alcoholic to the Dollar Island of Target, darling. Have some sense about you. Jax goes, I'm never gonna get married. And she goes, I have a big shocker there. Jax isn't gonna get

married. Oh, wow, what a shock. Next you're gonna tell me you're not eligible to donate your nose, darling. When you die. We knew, Jax. We knew, darling. All right. Water on table 15, darling. Oh, and also, on your way back to the kitchen, remind Faith what table 15 is, would you, darling?

Meanwhile, over elsewhere in the restaurant, Lala is manning the hostess podium. And James comes over. He's like, hello. I just want to say hi and you know i'm like hi and you know well james it's like morning and james has not done anything yet and i think he slept two hours because he looks very fresh faced yeah and i buried on his eyes and his his eyes look normal i was like oh he's pulling it off today. It's a good one day at a time, buddy. And he comes in. He's like, hello, Lola.

This is more awkward than I thought. There you are looking at me. Here I am looking at you. Look at that, Lola. Look at that. You're not even a basic bitch. You're an intricate bitch today. Go ahead and enjoy this awkward moment, honey.

All right? Because it's the last one you'll get, honey. Girl, I'm getting out of this awkward moment. I'm going to spit on this awkward moment. I'm going to Because it's the last one you'll get, honey. Girl, I'm getting out of this awkward moment. I'm going to spit on this awkward moment. I'm going to spit on your podium, girl. But of course, at the end of the day, sober or not, he's a drama queen through and through.

And says, I would be having fun, but everyone's going to Ariana's. Not me, then. Are you going, mate? It's some sober like hipster bullshit anyway everyone's gonna be standing around the skinny jeans and he's not wrong you know he's not wrong don't have any lenses that work in them you know a bouncy house and a bunch of vaping idiots selling i'm like yes you're absolutely right but you totally want to be there like you just described

yourself skinny jeans yeah when he called when he called it uh complete silver like hipster bullshit he was exactly right but you're but you're also right that he's just mad because he didn't get invited so somehow by both being shunned lala and james rekindle their spark and he asks her out and she's like fine but you have to buy the drinks you have to buy everything you have a lot of of making up to do. I was like, way to stand strong there, Lala. Way to stay strong. Yeah, I mean, I didn't get invited to Ariana, so I should just be a basic bitch, and then I'd be invited to the unicorn party.

Well, Lala is basically like, I came onto this show to be famous, and all the famous people don't want to hang out with me, so, well, does this mean I won't be famous? So she's freaking out inside. She's freaking out. She's freaking out. She's freaking out. And then we skip over to Ariana and Rom, which is Tom.

But I can't spell things. And they're going over who she's going to invite to her bouncy house party. And he's like, are you going to invite Kristen? Kristen? Is she on the Evite? Is she on the super secret password protected Evite that you have to write? Is she on the super secret password protected Is she on the paperless post She was like Did someone say post office

Cause I have to go there So funny because Lisa gave me something So it's sort of like I'm not doing paperless post It's like I'm doing paper post You know Lisa's giving her like Cash to send her friend in Morocco Or some shit Lisa's making her do all of her illegal stuff.

This is for Mossy. Thank you for the plane. Here's a bundle of money, darling. All right, wear a mask. Go down to the post office. Put it in. Don't use your hands, darling. At least use your apron or something.

I don't want fingerprints all over that thing. If anyone asks you who sent you here, tell them Hanky did it. Send this to the horse. Send it to Ohio. It's hush money for the horse. Lisa's this horrible villain the whole time. We find out she's the one who's been bullying Hanky the whole time. She's been pranking Hanky.

He's like, did you say that a couple of weeks ago? Hanky has Munchausen. She's like, did you say that a couple of weeks ago? Hanky has Munchausen. She's like, I don't know. I think maybe it started out as depression, but now maybe it's something else, Hanky. I don't know. I just don't know. Hanky's breaking his own legs.

Kyle Richards is like, you know, when I was a kid, I used to always get so sad when I'd go swimming, and then I realized it's because my mom died. Maybe that's what's happening with Hanky. Hanky, are you depressed? Kyle Richards once was a swan. One time when my mom died, I got so sad that I was just like waiting around pools, and then I would dunk my head under every once in a while

and see if I could find any wet bread to eat. Maybe that's what's going on with Hanky. Maybe he's just sad. find any wet bread to eat maybe that's what's going on with hanky maybe it's just sad you know when my mom died i would just walk around shallow ponds and sometimes if there was a bridge i'd get up on the bridge and shit on it maybe that's what's going on with hanky hanky did you hear that do you understand what kyle said is that you i literally have no other examples of what swans do, so I'm going to have to end this one. I'm going to have to call this one. What else do

they do? They attack humans. Oh, no. We have to hold that for Shesher because they go duck herding and they also meet vultures and the vultures try and eat through Ampika's boot. So we'll save the bird. And my guy's like, whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. whoa whoa no actually she's with lauren and lauren's like oh vulture no disgusting i love animals if they look cute like sweetie but vultures don't look cute like sweet it's eating through your butt and then pika's like i'm like a snack i'm like a snake i'll eat your vulture i'll eat a vulture hole and spit i don't have vultures in arizona so they're making these invitations and ariana's kind of being a shady bitch she's not inviting certain people which is so funny it's my niece's birthday and there there's this huge drama over who's getting invited because if you don't invite all the kids it's like so political and they're just little kids and then you know that's then i watch this so he's talking about this boy's trip and she

gets so pissed and she's like it felt like a kick in the stomach i'm like yep just like jacks's pregnant girl felt the last time they were in Vegas. If a girl senses that she's about to get kicked in the stomach in Vegas by this group, she's actually got very good instincts. So I can't hate Ariana, even though she's being a bitch. Yeah, I mean, my instincts would be to say Ariana is being over the top. But then my experience with this show is that every year they go to Vegas and they bone some chicks. So, yeah, I can understand why she's pissed now. Yeah, it's basically like he's asking for an

open relationship on her birthday. Yeah. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. I would say so. So then we go over to Tom and Katie. Tom number two and Katie. And Katie has done her hair. I mean... Poor Katie. I feel like Katie is giving up.

You know, she's not doing anything crazy anymore. You can see she's in nesting mode. I don't know. I feel like Katie. I feel like I want to light something under her ass to do something exciting. I want to hug her. She's like a little bit of a lump. Well, I want to hug her because she spent like two and a half hours doing that weave or whatever that hair that aquanet masterpiece that was on her head for this scene about basically

her boyfriend shitting on her once again and it just makes me want to like hug her but also then when i'm done turning her around and pushing her slowly towards the door and then opening the door and closing it behind her. Bye, Katie. Call Sheena. Katie's at the post office waiting for Sheena. Like, oh my god, you're here too? She's like, yeah, I just got here. Meanwhile, she's been there for two hours waiting for her to show up. Which blue box is the right

blue box? Lisa's gonna kill me. Can I mail? It says you need to have a stamp, so I have one on my butt. So does that mean I can mail this now? I was trying to show that lady behind the counter the stamp on my back, but she said infinity symbols don't

pay for mail. When they said, do you want it to be priority mail, I just showed my tattoo they said, do you want to be priority mail? I just showed my tattoo and said, it's all happening. So get it going. It's all happening. So good. Oh, she knows.

I have a question now, all seriousness. What is happening with the tattoos on Katie? Has she always had all those tattoos? Yeah, she's had them, yeah. Late-term tattoos are a cry for help. Has she always had that woman tattoo on her wrist? I think so. The other side of your wrist.

The other side. Yeah, yeah. No, she's had those. I think her little nose piercing is relatively new. That's a surprise development. She's going slightly goth. Her hair is getting darker. Maybe her tattoos are becoming more prominent.

That tattoo on her wrist is of, it looks like from Scooby-Doo, the one that always wore a turtleneck and was a lesbian. What was her name with the glasses? Linda Cardellini. No, the real Scooby-Doo, the cartoon. Velma or something? Velma, yes. It's like a tattoo of velma and then she's got some other tattoo on her underarm jiggle who does that i've never seen an underarm jiggle tattoo

i mean underarm jiggle pride you know go for it girl maybe i'll go and show that shit off wear a saying on there changes every year. What's all happening? Oh, hello. That's what weird was. I get older and chunky. Those tattoos start to have Lisa's eyes on. It's all happening. Guys, isn't it strange how mail works? It's like all happening at all times.

Like, I put a letter in a box. And I was like oh my god I didn't know how real my tattoo was until right now it's all happening the postal employee is like ma'am could you please move aside but it's all happening

did you not hear me I'm wearing lingerie and I have a new name it's all happening that's all literally this It's all happening. Literally, this envelope has padding in it. Literally, this is the most comfortable envelope I've ever used.

It's all happening. This is why the people who work at the mail office, the post office, are so miserable. They deal with idiots like this all day. They're not born that way okay they deserve some respect because they have to put up with the lowest of the low of us every some girl coming in in lingerie with a new name trying to tell all the strangers about her problems in line for elvis

stamps you know she loves el Elvis loves cocaine too. You guys, literally the craziest thing just happened. I went to the post office to buy some stamps, and the ones they gave me are good forever. Like, literally, my stamps will never expire. I've got an infinity ass stamp, okay? So I can be mailed anywhere forever for free. It's all happening. Literally, my stamps have an American flag on them.

Like, literally, they're from Washington. Like, this is really important. Obama. It's all happening. I just don't like that they have to weigh me every time I'm getting shipped someplace. Literally, you guys, I feel really honored because my mail just got certified.

Literally. Literally. Literally, it's certified. I can't even believe it. I'm so proud of my mail. Then the birthday party starts and people are arriving and Peter has a big announcement

because on this guy's trip to Vegas they're all going to go to this real life sandbox and he just goes to Schwartz and he goes, dude, bulldozers Schwartz is like, yeah! I'm like, you know you could get a job as a construction worker you're not little kids anymore

you could just walk down to any of the construction sites you're also both really old bartenders and probably will need to learn construction soon so take notes you can go down this path if you want to do it every single day katie starts lecturing peter's new girlfriend while she's doing sheena's hair and she's like you know what sarah like it's just kind of bad because peter's having this like boys trip and it's like really not fair to us and the girl's like uh-huh yeah i know she's like yeah you know i'm glad you know because it's like almost just like respectful like and i mean like i just don't appreciate it and then it cuts to the guys it's an

adult bulldozer sandbox and tom number two yeah Yeah, man, I saw it on YouTube. You guys are 40, right? I'd like to see them walk up to a highway crew, okay? And be like, whoa! Like, steamrollers, whoa! And watch these guys give them the dirtiest look ever. Like, I'm getting paid, you know, $12 or whatever an hour. And I have to sit here on the side of the highway almost getting hit by a car every day. And you guys are sitting here, you know, glamorizing this at you know like well the one who actually works out of that whole group

so he probably actually got them jobs doing something on the side of the freeway and he's like guys it's a trip to vegas that's what i was thinking it reminded me of the episode you don't watch rest of development there's there's a there's an episode where uh jobe as like he shows up to like the club and he's dressed in a certain way where he looks like a waiter and so someone like gives gives him an order like oh can you can you bust like table three and so he does it as like a joke and then they just assume he's a an employee and he keeps on thinking that they're all joking but he basically does a day's work so i can just imagine these guys like yeah cool bulldozer and they've actually just like just enlisted in the

first time that they've done a job well like wow you've actually built a freeway las vegas thanks you so by the way something that i thought was noteworthy and obviously the editors did too because they stopped the music at this birthday party everyone did like shots and shade they like then they show shay taking a shot i was like oh darling and then he goes and the music starts again they did that to shay a couple of times this episode he's the kim fields of this show they're like isn't he pathetic hilarious oh yeah good to see that recovery really working so well so far way to go sheena you really you've turned them around the girls are sitting around talking during the party she's like yeah i mean i'm like i feel bad about

because i was really mean to her at first but then like when she stuck up for herself against those guys i was like oh my god i actually didn't like her in life. I mean, sorry, Faith, because you started working at the same time as me. She's like, oh, I was going there with me. That was the week that Shay was like an alcoholic. I really warmed up to Lala. Yeah, let's jump in the pool to show how much we've warmed up to Lala. By the way, the party really bothered me. Like, you know, Ariana's like, the most epic adult kids party ever.

I'm like, oh, I really hate twee shit like that. Like, oh my god, let's pretend we're kids. Like, I get it. I get why it's fun for certain people. Like, I get that idea. Like, oh my god, it's like everything I love for my youth. Like, bouncy castles, yada, yada, yada. But I'm like, it's just, it's like I'm not into that.

Like, it's just, it does nothing for me like i was i started watching master of none in the first episode like it's a bouncy castle yay i'm like no like i mean like i'll get in a bouncy castle let's say cool i'll get in one but i'm not gonna be like yes best party ever it's funny when they're making the being the kid part the ironic part but she's having the party at her friend's mom's house in the backyard get out of here you're still a child this isn't ironic enough yet too soon darling too soon so anyway then um schwartz tells katie that yes he is going to vegas and she starts to cry and then uh then then katie starts talking what does he call her hey what does he say

he calls her boo-boo yeah you know i feel like tom isn't like prioritizing me like tom seriously gets a dog that he talks to nicer than you so he can ignore you what part of this aren't you getting yet katie yeah i know it's like there's been four seasons katie like no yeah tom does not prioritize you congratulations and then she does her four-year-old pout thing like she's crying cadence my niece does it all the time i'm cracking up over here watching these kids because if she doesn't get attention for two seconds she's like i'm it was mean to me i'm it was mean to me and then if you don't pay attention to her she comes back she's like let's play like because she didn't get the attention and that's totally what she did she did this pout and she's like it's just i'm the one i'm always

bending yeah i've been sometimes my ankles have touched my ears in vegas babe okay i'm not pouting anymore you son of a bitch. Speaking of pouting, so then Katie and Ariana are talking about the Vegas thing, whatever, and Ariana starts crying. She starts getting all fussy. I'm like, oh, gosh. But then it turns out that she's crying because her dad died two years ago, and the birthday is always a reminder of her dad she gets very sad about it and she

wanted tom to be around which you know i get that and uh she goes he was a norcal hippie surfer you know the kind of guy you think would live forever and i'm like nothing to me about that says that you're gonna live forever yeah a norcal hippie surfer you either gonna have a heart attack from too much weed get eaten by a shark get run over walking across the freeway to the p you know to the fucking beach no that's a dangerous life yeah he was a competitive eater who loved having burgers at every meal i thought he was gonna live forever i know but um uh yeah so she starts crying kitty's like you're a pretty unicorn you're not supposed to cry on your birthday that's that's an interesting quote taken out of context

um and then uh they celebrate her birthday you know birthday cake time and it's silly string a silly string attack so they attack her with silly string so there's this poor girl like literally poor by the way i mean standing in the middle of room like adult party in her borrowed mom's house covered in you know it looks like she's just been to a bukkake party when her boyfriend's going to vegas the next day i was like this poor girl nothing's working out this year i hope she's not sitting at home crying right now yeah um so then my favorite moment of the entire episode came uh it's nighttime now still at the party tom pulls katie aside and sits down with her and uh this is really ariana tom ariana i'm sorry i'm sorry tom and ariana and the... Please don't let Tom talk to Katie again.

I can't take it. So, like, it's got this beautiful lighting. It has just this very intimate scene. And Ariana, we've learned that she has some trouble sometimes, you know, letting down her guard and being vulnerable. So she lets down her guard and she's vulnerable and she talks about her dad. And her dad would always recite this speech this lou georg speech you know this time you know the birthday you know it's still really hard for her it's still very raw and you know you know she has these attachment issues that she really is like she's crying it's

this thing and tom's looking at her and he's like baby he's like he goes he's he looks at her he nudges himself he steps comes a little closer and clasps her hand. He goes like, I'm always going to be here for you. And it's like a slight pause. He goes, but apparently he told me that there were that we're going to a construction yard and we're taking bulldozers and crushing shit with bulldozers. And then her face completely just stops the crying and everything. And she's like really she just she just stares at him and then he stares at her almost be like like why are you not you know being like excited for me yet

like there's gonna be you know bulldozers crushing shit and bulldozers oh that was so funny. Babe, I want you to know I'm not going anywhere. Just Vegas. I mean, look, I'm always going to be here for you. Just not tomorrow through Friday, okay? Because I'm going to be in Vegas. Probably with my penis in a whore. Can't you be happy for me, babe? She's like, did you hear my dad's story right now?

Because I was killed this year. Babe, I know your dad died and everything but bulldozers bulldozers seriously bulldozers like i look like bulldozers i look like a community theater actress and whatever happened to baby jane covered and come and you're telling i have glitter under my eyes and i just told you my dead dad story now I do think the cynic in me thinks that actually those it was like some editing that happened. I don't think that he probably went from I'll always be there for you. But there's going to be bulldozers. Maybe he did.

I don't know. He's on Vanderpump rules. Never give anybody the benefit of the doubt when they're on Vanderpump rules. But the best was honestly, it was like after he said that the blank stares from both of them i mean she's just staring at him like what the fuck and he's like yeah so so good so the boys all start driving to vegas the drive to vegas tom farts in the car i mean what what sometimes i read my notes for this show and i'm like what what am i right what do i need to write that down? Tom number two farts in the car.

Yeah. Jack says it smells like his apartment. It's like, oh, God, with this show. I know. So then Tom is saying, I've never really given Ariana a reason not to trust me. And then Jack says, well, I seem to remember a reason from Miami, Miami Instagram. And then they cut to, we had sex. No, we didn't.

Yes, we did. No, we didn't. Yes, we did. No, we didn't. We had sex. We had sex. We had sex. We had sex.

We had sex. No, we didn't. Cut's done. We had sex. We had sex. We had sex. We had sex. We had sex. It's one of my favorite, favorite moments.

And then Tom says he's not going to be controlled by some woman like Shay. I mean, every time you even ask Shay a question, Sheena answers for him, and it makes him crazy. I'm like, oh, God. Ariana's too intelligent to answer for you. Don't worry. She'll let you do your own answering um fart fart lisa you were doing okay so then a meeting with lisa which of course is about uh gossip girls gather how do you feel about your boyfriends i was like nice

no one to your service sex yeah but i also like that someone asked uh ariana why she sex yeah but i also like that someone asked uh ariana why she cuts her lala did lala's like why do you cut your mom like that and yolanda's like limes i need someone to cut my lime someone cuts my lime to save time this is so funny it's like so i don't actually do it every time but what i didn't understand is that like you't understand is that you're doing it now. You're still doing it. I don't know. What do you mean? Well, she's making the slits in the lime, right?

So that way she can put them on the side of the glass, right? Right. So she's like, I don't want to have to do it every time. I'm like, but you still have to do it. She means she's slicing it down the center of the lime before she it uh the other way so that they already have the slit in the middle yeah so she's not cutting it twice oh lala why are you cutting your limes in the middle i love lala's never been in a restaurant like the back of a restaurant she's like what is this place with all these hot machines? It's the kitchen, darling. It's where they make the food, Lala.

Where do you think it comes from? Why is there fire coming from the table? It's a stove, Lala. Wow, the Saudis just have these little tugboats come up with some dominoes on it. I've never seen anything like this. This is insane. I need my mama. I need my mama.

Mama. Test the limit with the waitress. Lala wasn't invited. Why wasn't lala invited to your party ariana's like it was my family she's like well i didn't want to invite everyone everyone because it's like my 30th birthday i'm like you invited 80 people she's my family you know and faith and like you know the person from the post office that Sheena met. And, like. She's like, I met, like, a lot of people. But she would only let me bring three.

So she's, like, being serious. Like, she didn't invite everybody. She was cracking me up. Because she's trying to be so nice in front of Lisa. And then Lala's playing such a victim. She's like, but you invited Faith. And she started working here at the same time as me. So she's like but like it was a party about the 80s and you gotta have faith so get off my ass bitch leave me alone in front of lisa lisa's like well it's no fun to be the only

one not invited to a party i remember when brandy had a party at chucky cheese and i was the only one not on the eviteVite, and it hurt. It hurt deep. And then, you know, Ariana's like, you know, I remember, like, showing up at school on Monday and finding out about a party I wasn't invited to, and it really, you know, it really hurt.

So I don't want to make her feel like that. Too late. I just did. Lisa's really good with giving advice. Darling. You know, you... Wouldn't they start talking about Vegasgas hold on i just like i don't want to skip to the wrong thing i just like the noise you just made darling darling why would

you let your men go to vegas you know what happens in vegas it doesn't stay in vegas darling before you know it it's literally breaking out into sores all over you then i have to get you covered you know what happens in vegas causes issues at. And we need to discuss that, darling. So she starts telling them to get revenge on the men. She's like, no man would do that. If Ken ever told me he wanted to go to Vegas, there would be no question I would not let him go to Vegas. And Katie says, well, yeah, but you know, like the way I'm going to punish Tom is like every time he does something like this, he has to add another carrot to the ring he gives me. Bet you made you a ring out of a twisty tie.

He's literally adding baby carrots to it. Yeah. What are you suddenly a proud woman? Get out of here. Please. Lisa's like, slash their tires, burn their houses down, take their nuts. Whoa, Lisa. Don't get mad, girls.

Get, what is it? And Faith is like, chalene sea bass. No. You get even, darling. I want to try the pomegranates. What would you like from the menu? That thing with the pomegranate butter, which sounds delicious and I'd love to try it. Enough out of you.

You're just a day player. Enough. Lala, what do you want to eat? There's no sea bass for day players, darling. You have to either be homeless or crazy, okay, Faith? And you're right in the middle, so goodbye. We've already given you a couch. What else do you want, Faith?

Go home and sit on your couch, darling. Faith, you already fed the Pinot Noir. I mean, how could you even want pomegranate butter at this point? Chilean sea bass. That's not very politically correct, Lisa. But it is very. So funny, darling. Chilean sea bass.

Do it. I want dolphins served that are caught in those Diet coke containers that hold all the cans together, darling. I hear all the dolphins are getting their mouths stuck in them. Bring the dolphins in. We'll make a filet out of them, darling. You can't be serving Chilean sea bass, Lisa. What's wrong with Chilean sea bass? Oh, I learned that in the restaurant.

It's not sustainable. Oh, I got yelled at in the restaurant by customers I used to work at when we would serve that. Yeah, you're not supposed to be. It's non-sustainable? Mm-mm. I guess. I mean, I don't know what people get pissed off at. I didn't know that there was an issue.

I can't pay attention to people who are pissed at fish. Look it up. Plancy bass. I'm looking it up right now. I just know from customers who got pissy with me when I was a waiter, and I'd be like, Oh, your child has grown so much. Great to see you guys. Let me see how I can make you happy.

Okay, we've caught a bass from a totally different sea. Enjoy it, fucking idiots. I feel... Are you Googling Chilean sea bass? I am, I am. It says, well, here's something from Huffington Post. And it says, when you're eating Chilean sea sea bass you're actually eating patagonian toothfish the truth is revealed no it's not that no one would yell at me for eating a patagonian something

i don't even think it's possible it's just like misinformed me how dare you me misinformed now we're both googling fucking bass in the middle of our on the second hour of our show chilean sea bass controversy okay that's what i googled and i'll read it to you just so i'm not called a bad waiter the patagonian toothfish that is also known under the trade name chilean sea bass is considered as one of the forbidden food that gains a lot of controversy this kind of fish is commonly found in the waters with a depth of 45 meters and 38 50 meters such as pacific indians blah blah blah this kind of fish species can live for something to 50 years and can reach a few meters blah blah blah why is it controversial about oh my god because of of the slow growing of Chilean sea bass species, it made some of the environmental groups decide to ban it from the restaurants and markets.

What? I'm sorry. They create an anti-toothfish campaign to be removed Chilean sea bass from the menu and to avoid illegal fishing that will cause the downfall of the number of its species. This kind of fish became one of the most top favorite foods by many, but because of the overfishing, serving this kind of food has stopped. My question, question. What website are you on?

Asia Pacific Economics blog. Okay. I'm on netfish.us because I like to netfish and chill. And this is the official blog of Netfish, which offers education and information on high-quality, responsibly sourced seafood. Thursday, June 12, 2014. Last year, a year and a half ago. The headline.

Oh, it can be eaten again? A sustainable fishtail. How Chilean sea bass became sustainable. For many years, Chilean sea bass was the poster fish for unsustainable and environmentally unsound fishing. That has all changed. Now the fishery is a shining example of how fisheries managers and NGOs can work together. In April 2013, Monterey Bay Aquarium's Seafood Watch released updated recommendations for Chilean sea bass. I can't talk about this anymore.

I had to listen to your whole thing. I'm going to read my blog. You did, and you're totally right. I skipped mine and got to the important parts. It's all happening. It's all happening on the show. We put Vanderpump Rules on trial and then got them acquitted. How do you like that for point counterpoint

that shows you how fast things change in the waiter waiting tables news i haven't waited tables for a few years now glad to know that that controversy is over so glad now we don't have to be scared about lance bass being unsustainable. So over in Vegas, the guys have finally arrived at Dig This, the sandbox place. And before they can do anything, they have to pass a breathalyzer to make sure they're not drunk before they operate heavy machinery. So surprisingly, they actually all pass. And Jax, he goes, he's like, I don't think I've ever passed a breathalyzer. I'm like, dude, that's not like a bragging.

There's nothing to brag about, okay? You're 40. That's one of those times you're like, you're 40. And you also shouldn't like, it shouldn't be also like a standard as if like you have to face a breathalyzer like every few months like that's not good that's not good but that's the way he struggles to hold on to his youth he's like yeah man i'm partying it's so awesome like yeah dys whatever i don't care oh jacks you're 40 darling it's not cute anymore well either way they passed and then we got to see them playing with machines which was uh exciting for them and then and then we saw tom's butt tom was showering and the next thing you know we saw

jack's but it was just basically turned into like a butt montage there's lots of butt butts and butts and butts yeah this was very fx in like the late 90s. Is that when Nip Tuck came on? Or the early 2000s or whatever? When they were like, butts? And everyone was like, oh my god, there's butts on TV! And started going crazy about butts on TV. And now there's just a line of butts. They're like, let's just do a whole segment of the guys doing their butts.

And then let's have another separate segment where all of the guys iron their hair yeah i really enjoyed watching jack's blow drying schwartz's hair it was like watching like two monkeys groom each other picking little pellets out of their fur so ariana sheena and tom talk on phone about people. Oh, so the girls take Lisa's advice. To get even, darling. And they're like, let's get even by having a pajama party. I'm like, really? Are you going to fuck some strippers at this party?

Because I don't think you're even. By the way, you forgot to mention the fact that over at Sur, James was all pissy because he didn't get invited to the boys on the boys trip. He's like, I guess I don't get invited because of Jax now. All right. I see what it is. Lisa's like, get that gum out of your mouth. Aaron is like, I have a secret.

James just put that gum in his mouth. Darling, why are you so sad? She's like, well, my dad died. Blah, blah, blah. Dead dad story. And Lisa goes, darling, was it sudden? Like, is that worse or better? Like, she's asking like that, Matt, like a degree.

I ask because I see the same symptoms in Hanky. If it was sudden, I would have given you the weekend off. If you knew it was coming, maybe a couple of hours late, darling. I need to know where we are. Give me the degrees of dead your father is darling why didn't you tell him darling and ariana says because i don't want to be that person you know that girl who's like oh wow i want to bring up something painful to get my way and i'm like uh but you did do that where you told the story three times this episode

does anybody else know that there's huge nails sticking out of the door behind Ariana? She's behind one of those big metal, like, decorative doors. But there's, like, spikes coming out of it. I was like, where did you get that door? It's, like, from Mohammed's sex dungeon. Don't lean. I guess that's a way to get your employees not to lean. If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.

You won't be able to, though, because your back will be bloody. Do not lean at the bar, darling. Darling, no leaning. No leaning. But her advice is, it's okay to feel things, darling. It's okay. It's okay.

It's like I always tell Hanky, let it out, and he burps up a fish. Poor thing. Lisa. Oh. Lisa. Oh, Lisa. Darling, it's okay to fear things. As long as you're not Rocio. I do not have time to be cleaning up after the cleaning up after her.

Anyway, so. So then everyone goes over to Shino's house. We only have a girl's night. so then everyone goes over to she knows uh house uh and um they all gather around because they're gonna show the guys that they can have fun too although i don't know how much fun you can have on a dusty old carpet or surrounded by portraits of sheena and shay but katie's like okay we're going to play a sex question game. That sounds like great fun. The sex question game. I love the sex question game. How do you spell sex?

You go first. Who's going to set the timer? We're going to be here forever. Did you see the glass of wine Sheena poured herself? Yeah, that was my next note. Because when they were like, should we invite Lala? Let's invite Lala. of wine Sheena pour herself? Yeah, that was my next note. Because when they were like, let's invite Lala.

Okay, let's invite Lala. So she calls up Lala while waiting for Lala to pick up the phone. Sheena has like a novelty size, it's probably not even a wine glass. It's actually probably to put a little plant in. And she just

pours the entire bottle essentially into wine glass. It's actually probably to put a little plant in. And she just pours the entire bottle, essentially, into this thing. It's like, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. It's still got the macrame netting around it. Shay's, like, in the corner doing the Roger Rabbit behind the wall. Like, Shay's been a haircut. Shay's like,

oh, man. I love that Lisa told him not to go to Vegas. she's like don't take shay to vey you can't take an alcoholic to vegas get him wasted at the pajama party that's totally fine totally safe from shay's just taking shots then they show him taking a shot and they stop the music you watch they take the shot i bet you editors i love love it. Meanwhile, Lala's like, she's like, you want to come over? You're in walking distance. And Lala's like, I don't know. I'm like, in my pajamas.

I'm about to go to sleep. And think about Mama. As if, like, Lala were really about to go to sleep. She's probably, like, across the street with binoculars watching them. And then she gets the call. And, like, her phone's, like, not on vibrate by accident. She's like, oh, shit. But she's just like, it's a pajama party. It's but uh she's like it's a pajama party

it's a pajama party it's a pajama party come on we'll talk about how we're supposed to get this mail to the police office everyone's going to pee on the drug test and well i mean only shay is going to but we're all gonna look at it poor shay we're all gonna take shay's p test together oh that would be so mean okay shay time for your p test can't miss a night i thought it was very unfeeling of the guys after ariana has been crying the entire episode about how hard it was to lose her father which is legit by the way like we laugh and stuff, but not at that. I mean, God bless her heart. And then the guys go to Vegas anyway, and they go to a ghost bar.

That is not cool. That bar is called Ghost. But I think the only ghosts there are the ghosts of real-world Vegas. Trisha, where are you? It was the ghost of Peter's hair who would be fucking some girl in the bathroom right now, but now he's just like, I'm a Chippendalesales dancer and the lady's like oh yeah yeah i can't tell

unless you're off so yeah some funny shit it's a big deal when i don't cheat because i can it's like yeah whatever you're in vegas anyone can get laid in vegas that's the point don't pat yourself on the back too much there buddy um i I don't know if you can cheat that much with a Kristen Schaal haircut, but try your best. So then the girls, to make the guys jealous, the girls all start making out, and the guys

are like, wow. And then the guys get really wasted, and they go back to the hotel room, and then Tom's like, why don't we just fuck it up and spend, like, go talk to some girls. And they all walk out the door room and then tom's like why don't we just fuck it up and spend like go talk to some girls and they all walk out the door and the episode ends sheena and lala really made out they all were really making out oh i thought they were kind of kissing no but she didn't know she and lala were like doing it open mouth making out yeah they were yikes girls i just

wrote it really big so i felt like i had to say it. Yeah. No, they were really, really going at it. You know that those guys ended up either getting laid or circle jerking, because all they could talk about was their wieners for like an hour, and then they were putting their butts on each other. I hope so. I hope it worked out for them. I hope so. That was our lovely Vanderpump Rules Christmas. And guess what? I don't know if you saw this commercial, but Vanderpump Rules will will be on sunday this week i saw that be aware everybody um also there's a real housewives of shisha

marathon coming up i think it's tomorrow so it's probably really yeah so everybody catch up and this was so much fun you guys have a merry merry christmas ben i love talking to you we're still going to be doing a show on Christmas Eve that's right even no it's going to be this Wednesday right yeah but it'll be our Christmas Eve show it'll be coming out on Christmas Eve and we'll watch Star Wars Ben yes Christmas Eve show

for all you goyim out there I'll be accusing Ewoks of being illegal because they're not sustainable but I cannot believe they use them in this movie. Totally justifiable. Never mind. I'll be quiet now.

Ben, were you dropping change? What was that? I actually dropped a key. For some reason, I have a key just sitting here on my desk, and I started fiddling with it, sort of like, what's that movie where they fiddle with little something? I don't know. The key fiddler, and you're like, I'm done.

You know, I just am fiddling with it. And then I dropped it. I made a clatter. I'll do it again. That was your dropping of the mic. You're like, I'm done. I'm actually doing an NPR show. I've got my bowl and my spoon here. You're Magali telling a story. Yeah. She's like...

And I'm like... And then we're both like... And she's like, whoa'm like and then we're both like and she's like whoa i was trying to recreate a little clicker so i couldn't click it oh it was making no noise it's just like click click click no sound i use things that make no sound effect everybody thank you so much if you're listening to this before christmas merry christ if you're listening to it after it's almost the new year if you're listening to it in 2016 why it's over love you guys love you hey prime members you can listen to watch add free on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with

wondery plus in apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.