Watch What Crappens - #2510: RHODub S02E09: Balling in Bali

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

This week on Real Housewives of Dubai, Ayan and Lesa sob over a voice note betrayal in Bali and Sara continues to make screaming as a trauma cure happen. To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watchword Crappins, Watchword Crappins, guess what happens when there's so much that crappins. Hello everybody, welcome to Watchword Crappins. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, it's okay, but we're recording this at an odd time today. So the sun's coming right in this window and it's like one little sliver like I have like sunglasses. You're being scanned by an alien or something or like you're

being like you're being checked out of the grocery store. Expensive. Chubby gay guy. I love it. Yeah, I'm not sure how to fix that but I'll be in the dark. It's right across your mouth. I know like, I have a light mustache. It does kind of look like that. It looks ridiculous. Like a handlebar mustache that went out to the sides by accident.

I'm sorry we're being so mature, but this is what happens. And we've been doing a lot of, well, Ben especially has been doing a lot of like going on podcasts and tour, you know, going on a podcast tour because he's in New York and we went on Andy this week and stuff. And so it's been fun. But if there are any new people here who are expecting anything other than, I don't know, half-baked bullshit, you're in the wrong place. This is what you get when you're in the wrong place. Yeah. We laugh for an hour about light how the light

shines on our face. You know, if you don't like it. Oh, yeah, look at these cool sunglasses. It is we become little kids like, you know, I'll always remember the 80s and a camcorder and like the sheer joy that came from like, pressing record, pressing pause, moving out of frame, pressing record again. I mean, that's the thing. It's a real thing. And now it's back on Tik Tok, you know, like, God,

you know what people love on Tik Tok is, um, uh, taking, taking an article of clothing and throwing it in the air and boom, it's on their body. It's like, they finally learned everything we do in 1997. People are still doing that, huh? Or they love the, Hey, I'm gonna put my hand over the lens. And when I pull it back, it's a different scene. Cause I press pause. Yeah.

Magic. Magic. TikTok magic in 2024. We're still, we're still real impressed with that. It's like, look, you are impressed. Ben's mom got on a new blazer. That was like magic. Like here I am boys. Here I am magic. Like, here I am, boys.

Here I am world. Me. That would be my mom. Here is my blazer. I have to say, by the way, we've been doing some really fun stuff this week. We have the dwell hello episode that's coming out where we were totally deranged. We recorded it late at night and we spent an hour recording it. And it was like, we were just chuckling so hard. It wasn't even Chuck Lika Fawz. It was so funny. That's two in a row that have been really kind of like

amazingly hilarious. I really encourage people to go listen to that. That's on OneDream Plus. It's an exclusive for that. It's not even a Patreon thing. It's a OneDream Plus thing. So go check out Dwell Hello. Also today we're gonna recap Real Housewives of Dubai. And I forgot to tell you this, Ronnie,

I'm actually really disappointed. I'm really sad right now because earlier today I went and did the page six podcast, which is really cool. I think that's coming out next week. And I got there to the studio with Danny Murphy, et cetera, and Evan. And so I, I got there. All great people over there. Hello, page six. We Evan. And so, um, I, great people over there. Hello, page six. We love you. We love you. I'd be hugging you right now if we were in the same room, hugging tight, Ben continue. I got to the studio and Danny was like, Oh my God,

you just missed Caroline and Sergio. They were just here a few minutes ago and I was like, come on the raft. And they're like, we thought about having you tomorrow. But um, because tomorrow Chanel Lyons gonna be there. We thought we might surprise you with Chanel. I was like, and I just go back. You have you fly out tomorrow, right? I have a flight tomorrow. Come on. Be Chanel. Got to see her. I love her. No, I think it's weird.

I don't know. But like I fell through the cracks between Carolina and Chanel. So I'm really sad. That sucks. All right. Well, that's sad. Well, anyway, listen to that one. That's coming out later. We talk about all this on the bonus. Well, not all that, but a lot of this stuff on the bonus episode, what Ben's been up to. I've been doing minus toilet shopping. Spoiler alert. I know that's a good, go give your hard earned money. Okay, I've still got a light mustache. And you know what, we should really get into this because it's a huge episode of Dubai.

And when I say huge, I mean, nothing really happened, but it was super fun. It was really hilarious. And honestly, like the quote at the end of the episode was so great. Like that quote was actually kind of like a real housewives of New York old school level quote. Like that was a that was that was an amazing way to end an episode. The show deserves some credit.

You know what, we're not telling anybody what that note is, what that line is until the end. Wait, wait, wait, it's called a teaser. Yeah. Ben's been doing a lot of business this week, guys. So he's going to be dropping some business terms. Business, business, business. It's a teaser, guys, so he's going to be dropping some business terms. Business, business, business. It's a teaser, guys. I don't know if you heard about this industry logo.

It's called Teasers. Industry terms, industry language, industry links. Oh, God. And here I am in the valley with the plane flying overhead. God damn it. I hate that that's true from Vanderpump rules, that you live in the valley and now there's suddenly planes over your head all the time Fuck off

Okay, and also fuck off Southwest because I can't even get last-minute tickets on there anymore with it being cheap now They're like everybody else they charge you nine zillion dollars to fly last minute. Well, they got rid of open seating You know jerks. Hey you I used to like you now. You're just shitty planes Yeah, you're you're supposed to be cheaper because you're shitty planes that we all put up with it. And you have assholes telling us jokes the whole trip. Okay. We put up with that for a discount and open seating. And now look what you're doing.

Shame on you. Southwest. Closed seating. Okay. We're open for ads. That's why you have to expand the Supreme Court, you know? I'm just kidding. Term limits for Southwest flight attendants.

I'm sick of their bullshit. Term limits for middle seats. I cannot have a Werther's Original right now. I've really aged. Okay, let's go into Dubai. Werther's Original. This is some shit. Okay, so we start open, we open with the voice,

no drama that started last week, where Lisa was talking shit in a, she was talking, she was doing that voicemail talking with Sarah, and then she sent a voicemail from Sarah to Ayaan talking shit about Caroline Brooks, kind of, well, Sarah was talking shit. And then Ion sent that to Stanbury, and wants to play it for everybody to, you know.

I think it's like currency, like, I've got some gossip and Stanbury and I are friends now, she's gonna love this. And so it was great when she brought it up on camera and she had all this stuff, but then Stanbury forced it out at a dinner and basically used the weapon for herself. That's not your weapon. Yeah. Well, wasn't, okay, so, I mean, the episode aired like two weeks ago

when this happened because we had a week off. And wasn't it that Chanel, wasn't she planning to reveal this at the dinner? Didn't she have a moment where she goes, well, wait until that dinner, and then she'll know or something like that? I thought she was saying that. Pete Slauson Yeah. She was saying it like, oh, you just wait, you just wait what I'm going to do and you guys need to back me up at this dinner. She said something along those lines. So, she was going to do it, but that's still your weapon. Like, that's my ammunition to bring to a party. It's like you bring in a gift and someone's like,

we got you a gift, you know, when you go to a party and you didn't go by that shitty candle from the Grove, I put up with that. And now you're going to take credit for it. Like you don't get to do that. And I think that that's what happened here. And it wasn't cool with Stanbury. How did Carol... Yeah, but like, how did Stanbury set it up again? I kind of got the sense that Stanbury was giving an assist, like saying like, oh, and here's the voice note. I just don't remember because it was two weeks ago. I don't remember exactly how Stanbury- It was too long ago. She was basically, you know, Lisa was always kind of coming for Stanbury and then so she was like, okay, well here, tell them about the voice note you have.

Which is like an assist. It's like, I think Chanel wanted to do it on her own terms and she wanted to set it up a certain sort of way. So anyway, this voice note, it's like, oh, Lisa, Lisa sent a voice note. So Lisa was talking shit about Sarah and, and yada, yada, yada. And so then Lisa was like, I've lost all trust in you. Trust is gone. So now we pick up and Lisa's like, I sent that to you privately just to see if she did say what I think she said. And which is also bullshit because she, yeah, she was talking shit.

She was talking shit and betraying Sarah too. And she's trying to make it sound like, well, I mean, it was just innocent. I was like, is she saying the right thing? And I liked that someone actually says later in this episode, why are you going to Chanel to be the translator? Because she's always misunderstanding things and arguments and getting pissed off at the wrong things because she's taking things the wrong way. You know what I mean?

Right. So Chanel keeps on apologizing, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And Brooks is like, well, it's not that. And so I was like, I have no idea on earth. I don't even know what a voice note is. And Lisa's like, I am so pissed. You know what? Sometimes I just leave voice screams for people. Because when you scream into a voice note, it releases so much trauma. That'll be $5,000 for this seminar I just put you through. I couldn't scream notes. So Lisa's really pissed that especially that Ayan shared it with Stanbury, of all people, Stanbury, of all people.

And Stanbury's like, but Lisa, in her defense, she didn't say it was from you, even though it did say from Lisa Milan. And Sarah's like, well, this is messy. This is very messy. This is very, very messy. And so Lisa's like, listen, I sent Aiyana voicemail from you, and towards the end, I wasn't clear if you were disagreeing with Brooks about the fight at Stanbury's home. So I was trying to say to Chanel, is she saying what I think she's saying, which I'm

not buying at all. I think Lisa's argument here should be, I'm allowed to talk shit behind people's backs and Aiyana should not have betrayed me. That was not cool. And I'm not to talk shit behind people's backs and I on should not have betrayed me That was not cool and I'm not apologizing because I didn't even say anything mean. I just shared a word spell Yeah, I owe nobody an apology and I refuse to talk about my personal business So Sarah's like what did I even say? What did I even say? Hopefully I was telling you to love yourself Is that what I said? Hopefully I'm telling you it's like you said I'm not a fan of Caroline Brooks and Sarah's me. Are you sure I said that? Is that is that what my screaming said? Because I'm pretty sure my screaming said goodbye, trauma. Goodbye. I guess a different thing.

So then we get the voicemail because no one can really accurately. I mean, it's typical housewife show, right? No one can tell you exactly what happened. It's all filtered through everybody's opinion. So, here we have an actual recording. Let's listen. So, Sarah is saying, you did what's right, babe, regardless of who the person was, you know, and I get it, you explained yourself. You're like, even if I'm not Brooks' fan, I will not stand for that. And I thought that was pretty good, babe. And Sarah goes, you see, I was saying you weren't a fan, not that I wasn't a fan. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God.

You never know what kind of stuff talking is gonna be passed on. I'd be the same. I know. To be fair, Sarah was totally exonerated by this and that's ridiculous. This is why you also can't like send gossip to Ayaan because she does totally tangle it up, right?

So- Well, I wouldn't send voice notes to Lisa either because this Lisa was trying to make it sound like something that it's clearly not. Like it's clearly not anything bad. It's just Sarah saying, you know, I get that you don't agree with how Brooks was acting, but it's still not cool to be chasing Brooks around a party saying you need to get a husband or whatever. Right. So Brooks is like, so what she's saying is that even though Lisa isn't Brooks's biggest fan, what is right is right.

And what's wrong is wrong. And she's not like Brooks. Can someone be a bit of the batteries on Brooks? I think so. Basically, she's basically she's saying she's not to lean biggest fan either. And Sarah's like, babe, what I said, I did say that. But I said that because you were screaming, where's your husband? So I'm not your biggest fan after that. Sorry. Okay. Like I was upset. Like she's divorced and I'm divorced. So it's divorced people standing up for divorced people. Well, that's not right either because

Teline walked away from that fight and Sarah was, I mean, Teline walked away from that fight and Sarah was, I mean, Talene walked away from that fight and Brooke was chasing her around giving her a shit, of course. But then Talene's husband made an ass out of himself and started screaming at a woman. So I don't know that anyone's right here. This is a lot. This is a lot of chaos for a voice note. This was honestly a little bit confusing to follow, especially because we'd had two weeks off from the last episode. Like, Bravo, don't put like two weeks in between, like a voice

note with very specific gossipy qualities to it. So, Talina is like, I'm out of this dead- Also, that dude going over the pole vault and then he couldn't make it over because his big wiener knocked him down. That's literally been played on the news so much that everything else has been wiped from my brain. I just like, I see cars in the street and I'm like, Oh my God, don't crash over that big dick. Like that's all I can think of is that big wiener just messing up someone's life. And I think that, you know, it's fair. I think it's fair that we don't remember every single thing since then. There's like before the big wiener and after the big wiener.

Yeah, there's been Olympics. There's Celine Dion sang on top of the Eiffel Tower since the last episode of this show. Okay. The world has changed. That was after the last step. That was before the last episode of this show, wasn't it? It was after the last episode because last week there was no Dubai and that last week was the first week of the Olympics. So Talene is like, I'm not upset because I know what Sarah Al-Madani means to Brooks and I know I wouldn't, I know that would have deeply hurt her. Would it have been fun to see in

the moment? Hell yeah. But I wouldn't want to see that friendship blow up. I'm like, yes, you would. So yeah, and Brooks was like, Sarah was talking about Celine, not me. And you know what? I cannot disagree with that. I do not disagree. And Stamber is like, well, I didn't know the voice note was from Lisa. Had I known that, we would have taken that to the grave. I need Brooks's fantasy jet to come get me because this is just humiliating.

I hate that I've caused drama between this wonderful relationship. Just look at them upset with each other. Was that me who did that? Oh, I can't live with myself. Look at me, always a bastion of hoping that people who are not part of the British aristocracy get along. Norm, I'm here to help the people who are poorer than me.

So Talene is like, well, I'm surprised we've got a good eye on for translations. And Sarah's like, I mean, I'm not proud this was confusing. I was talking about doing the whole time. And so she starts playing more voice messages for a greater context of the conversation and the entire conversation. You're at least a saying, I know it. Talin has been, is calling me, but I'm ignoring like not in the mood to get on the phone and sit here, Sarah say, I mean, what's the confusion exactly?

It's like very clear. It's clear that she's like very clear. It's clear. She's like fuck. She's like fuck Talene. I mean, she wouldn't say that, but you know, our version, which is like, I wish her the best and the love is the most love in the light, but I can't agree with that, babe or whatever. So it's very clear. So then if anything, it's just showing that Lisa was bitching about to lean, you know? So now Lisa has been kind of called out twice in this whole thing. So Lisa's like, well, look, I'm sorry, but I played it for her not knowing that she would play it. And Sarah goes, I trusted you and you trusted her. I get it. It's a circle of broken trust.

Scream into the broken circle. Do you have a checkbook? Okay, you scream to her, she screams to Caroline, Caroline screams to me, and we just scream around in one big circle. So Sarah's like, Sarah's like, well, Chanel, this is a private voicemail, you should never play it. And Lee says, especially for Stunberry,

like, why would you do that? So now at this point, Chanel is looking like the shitty one, right? Because she's the one who leads us to the people who are gonna bring it onto camera. She is the shitty one. She is the shitty one. Which is why she has a tantrum about Stanbury. Like the rest of the episode she is just livid against Stanbury. I don't think that what Caroline Stanbury did was above and beyond crazy because they talked about it. If memory serves me

correctly, I could be wrong, but I seem to remember that they talked about that they're going to bring it out. She's like, oh, I'm the bad guy here. I need to push this off onto Stanbury right now. I need to be mad at Stanbury in order to salvage my relationship with Lisa. Nat. Well, Caroline Stanbury is the bad guy here too. And that's the thing. They're all kind of bad guys because Lisa took a voicemail she shouldn't have taken and is playing that for people that should be privileged. And then Chanel is taking that information and bragging that she has it, which is wrong.

And then she's feeding that ammo to Stamberry and then Stamberry is using that ammo when it's not her ammo. So I think everybody's in the wrong here, but God, it's just so fun to watch. I love a mystery when everybody does it. It was like, what do you call a murder mystery party where there's like no mystery. It's

just like people like, you know, openly talking about. Oh yeah, you're right. So she knows like, I take accountability. I take accountability. And Stambury apologizes. She's like, well, I am sorry, Chanel, for throwing you under the bus. And she goes, no Caroline, we are done. And she's like, oh God, it's not that bad. Jesus. Is it that bad? I play Sergio's voice notes all the time. He doesn't mind. Let me play one right now for you. Honey, honey, please, please come home. I can't. I'm wondering which pants to wear, honey.

I can't leave. Please get out of here, you ugly snake. You're not your mother. How dare you talk to me like that? God, he's torturing Yasmin. I mean, have you ever seen a phone actually cry? Like when I hold up the phone, it drips saline solution onto my palm. It's disgusting, his voice notes. I've only left find my friends open on my Apple watch

and I've put it on a camel and I'm just letting it wander around the desert. Let's see if we get any voice calls from Sergio. Honey, honey, honey, please, please, where are you? I can't find you. I've only found the camera. I'm so thirsty. Please honey. Please baby. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Divorced beheaded died. Divorced beheaded survived. We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams.

And I'm Brooke Zifrin. And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world, to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light as women who use the tools available to them to hold on to power. Some women won the game, others lost, but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than

not, it comes at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow even the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more to the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black History for Real.

Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're gonna make some picks, talk some and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No Offense. No offense, Travis Kelce, but you've got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year.

We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Iyuk, T Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So Lisa's like, a snake will always change their skin, but they'll always be a snake. And Stanford's like, well, thank you, Lisa. I feel the same about you, darling. So Lisa's like, well, now we know where we need to be. And she's like, well, you could take this and shove it up your asshole. So this is all going down the back. This is not going well.

It's not going well. So Tling's like, okay, it's all good. Let's just move on now. It's not all good. And Tling's like, Sarah's not a fan of me, but we're fine with that. Am I right? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. In that moment, I know what you meant. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, Sarah. I'll get you. I'll get you later. So Lisa like messy and wrong. And Chanel is like, honestly, I'm going to take a break because if I sit down, I'm going to snap. I need a break, I need a break. So Chanel gets up and she leaves the table

and she goes over to her producer. She's like, I need a break, because like what she did is fucked up and I'm done. Lisa says she doesn't trust me because of what happened. I'm done, I can't do this. Like you're Lisa, but you're my friend, my friend. I am more angry at you than Sandberg. And if you can sit there at dinner in front of everyone

and saying you don't trust me, it's like she's trying to put me down. Like you're all trying to put each other down. I don't know if you realized. You literally just did something to betray her trust. You don't trust me. It's like she's trying to put me down. Like, you're all trying to put each other down. I don't know if you realized. You literally just did something to betray her trust. You don't get to cry. Like, you don't get to cry in this situation, ma'am. This is an I'm sorry situation, not a like wah wah situation. But it ends up working for her, which is good. I mean, she really commits to the victimhood, which, you know, I think was the right... It turned out to

be the right move. When I first saw it, I was like, this is not the right move. But then they ended up working out great for her. So, you know, let's all learn something. When you're wrong, cry like the victim and just stick to it, because everyone will eventually come around. The one who cries the most wins. I love it. Pete Yeah. Teresa would fit in perfectly on this show. Jared Yeah. I mean, it's how I went through my whole childhood. So, it always worked for me too. So, look at me! Doing great! Doing great, guys! So, Chanel leaves the table and Lisa's like, oh my God, are you so close now with Stambury? She betrayed my trust. I mean, girl, where's your loyalty? You lay with dogs, you get fleas. Snakes change fleas, but they always are snakes with fleas

who change clothes in the water well that is always wet in a half full cup made out of snake skin with fleas on top of it. Lay down with iguanas and you move a little slowly and climb things. So you know what they say. She's really dedicated to her nature. Her nature. Lay down with camels and you'll find Sergio because there's a phone attached to

it apparently. So now it's time to get ready to go out. But Lisa's like, I'm gonna go check on Ayaan. I'm gonna make sure she's okay. And then we just see 20 minutes later, which I have to say, are there now union breaks that you get in Bali? Where the fuck were the cameras for this? You don't get a break between dinner and going out. Keep the fucking cameras on.

If people learn nothing, what do you want a shoestring over there? There's no fucking union over there. Get your ass to work So it's 20 minutes later, and then we just hear off-camera Like she's just a potato chip like stuck in her throat. She's got that she's got some of John food It was bone marrow stuck back there And now Lisa is crying in the hallway and she's like, guys, please, I need a minute, please.

I'm just so mad at her. And so she's telling us, I went to Ayan's room and she said, fuck you, how dare you embarrass me. Fuck you, fuck you. So she's trying to call Rich and he doesn't answer. And then she calls, then she calls Chris, who's Chanel's husband. And while it's ringing, she's like, I've never been so disrespected in my life. Well, that's a certain privilege there. I mean, having someone say, fuck you,

really? That's the worst? Get in line. I don't want to listen to you cry. If that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, I can't even with this. Like, get, line. I don't want to see if that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you. I can't even with this. Like get your season two of your when you're on season two of a Real Housewives show. This is when your best friend says fuck you too. This is when you get most disrespected. This is when all your friendships fall apart. That is just the heart of nature people on a Real Housewives. Yeah. So she calls up Chris and he's like, Oh, hi, how's it going? She's like, I am not good. I'm so mad at Ayaan. And Rich isn't answering and I shared with her and shared with Stambert, oh, hold on, hold on, here comes Rich.

You know, he's like, what the hell is going on? So, she just switches on. Or Chris, and then he has to sit there because Lisa is one of those people who just says, hold on a minute, the person I really want to talk to is calling me. And then he's sitting there because he's got a crying lady on the phone and she never comes back to him. So rude. He's like, did that happen? She's like, babe, babe, why are you taking so long to answer my call? Like, where are you? You know what they say, lie down with like, lie down with Pumas and get up with with maybe one less leg because it probably ate your leg.

and get up with maybe one less leg because it probably ate your leg. I'm in the pubs, babe. What are you doing over there? She's, why aren't you home with the boys? He's like, because my mom's got the boys and I worked late and I wanted to come out and see people and live my life. It's me, free rich, free rich, I say.

Hashtag free rich, tell your friends. Just make it trend, babe. I am like so mad. I am like trend babe. I Am like so mad I am like so mad I'm like so mad I'm so mad I have to stand over here by a railing like I gave Ion a voice Recording of Sarah and like she went and she shared it was Dunbury So like I so I said I cannot share a voice mouse view ever again and and this bitch is like I love that That's the thing. It's like Unfortunately, I can't share voice notes with you anymore I would to me that's like a dream if someone like, unfortunately, I can't share voice notes with you anymore.

I would, to me, that's like a dream. If someone said to me, I can't send voice notes to you anymore. I'd be like, thank you. I don't even like the original voice note. I certainly don't want to hear a recycled, not even for me, voice notes. Yes. I don't even know you could send voice notes. Is that something you can do?

Yeah. People are great. People are wild to even be leaving voice notes with shit in them like shit talking in them, you know And also rich is like out partying and he does not want to hear this right now You just know it's because she was like rich Why don't you pay attention to me? And then she calls rich and she's like, well, I had a voice note that I got from somebody And then I said her the voice note and then she played the voice. And he's like, oh, rich, are you there?

Just came. Sorry about that, darling. We saying something. But he actually goes away. I just realized I'm not even speaking to Rich. It's just a voice note from Rich. This is awkward. She's like, yeah. And then she told me she will never show voice notes again with me.

And he goes, who? She goes, Ion, why aren't you there? You hang out with pigeons. You lose your ears, Rich. I'm like, don't flip it. I trusted you with that information. He goes, well, as bad as it seems right now, it'll get better with time. So don't worry about it, girl. And she's

like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like I've never been spoken to like that in my life. Like she's such a bitch for doing that. She's such a bitch for like, she's such a bitch for like betraying my trust when I sent her a voice note. I can't ever send her a voice note again. What am I going to do with all my voice notes? They're just going to pile up in my phone. Like who gets them now? Who gets my voice notes? How long has she been rich?

Because I've only heard rich people being like, I have never been spoken to like this before. You know, I feel like anyone who's ever been poor has been spoken to this. I'm like, shit, you get spoken to like this in the crosswalk. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I definitely, you know. Yeah. Just go downstairs on that sidewalk in New York City for crying

out loud. Jesus. I get talked to this like by people who work at the Home Goods. This person. Yeah, this person this evening. It's the he does not have the walk sign. It's like don't walk and traffic is flowing and he decides to step out in front of the car. The car honks at him and he gives a look to the car like, oh, whatever, why being so sensitive? It's like, you're the one walking when you're not supposed to. And the car was probably a rich person.

It was like, I've never been spoken to like that before. I've never. Lay down with possums and you wind up walking in crosswalks. You know? Why did I tell that story? Oh yeah, people being dicks, yeah. with possums and you wind up walking in crosswalks, you know? What? So the last story. Oh yeah. People being dicks. Yeah. Yeah. So the other, uh, the, uh, other ladies are wooing and getting ready to go out and they've got glow necklaces. They're very excited about that. And then it cuts back Lisa and she's like, she's such a bitch. Like,

and that was the most important. How am I supposed to be party after being traumatized by someone saying the F word to me? And he's like, probably the best thing you need to do is go out. I mean, it's a great time. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to do just what I'm doing right now. Go out to a pub, sit down and wait for a nice warm ass to come rob itself against you in the rhythm of the music, babe. Take a few twenties with, Rich, rich. Sorry about that. Are we still on? I meant to leave a voice note. You lay down with hamsters. You walk around in balls. So now we go to Chanel who's now in pajamas in her bed looking perfectly happy. She's

like, and she's like, she's like, I was so mad and I hear a knock, it's Lisa. And she says, let's go party. Like there's not like, oh Ayan, are you okay? Like before dinner, I let her know about the voice note. And I said, someone wants to talk to me about the voice note. But the fact that she pretends like she doesn't know the voice note, are you lying on my name?

Then I kicked the bitch out of my room. Well, she didn't know, when you told her that, I'm sure she assumed that you weren't going to bring her into the voice note discussion, which you ended up doing. So, she pretended that she didn't know, and then you were like, I'm sorry, Lisa, that I have betrayed your voice note. Like, if she's going to pass you a voice note, you're going to share it. At least let her retain some anonymity. I mean, Jesus. She's trying to make this better for herself. It's just not working. But I will tell you this, those white lions on her shoulder are magical.

I want those. And if I wasn't such a lazy bitch, I would make those for Halloween to wear out because they're amazing. I would be a monk this year with white lion shoulder heads. Okay. So now back to Brooks and Lisa. So Lisa comes out and Brooks like, why are you crying? Did I do it? Oh God, I hope so. This is fabulous.

Get the cameras here. And she's like, no, I checked on Ayan and she was screaming at me and she slammed the door. I've never even seen a door slamming before. Ayan, you? And then Brooks, like in her like interview, she takes the boom mic and she's like, yes, the House of Cards is falling down.

I'm like, yes, that House of Cards that was built on boys' notes. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, she's so thrilled that somebody else is miserable. It's so her. It's so on brand. And she's just laughing like, yes, I hate each other now. It's all a little one another. Oh time. I told those puppies, you come on my street one more time, I'm making a jacket out of you. And they came and now I'm gonna, I've made them into a duet. So

out of control. So then Sarah is like, well, why do you guys think that Ayan isn't coming? Somebody's like, oh, she was upset because she was called out. I mean, then it became about me. Like I was the one who did it. Hold on, my phone's ringing. Hold on a second. Yes, O.G.O. Honey, honey, please, please, where are you?

Stop playing the hide and seek. I thought I just saw you right now. Sergio, honey, honey, please, please, where are you? Stop playing the hide and seek. I thought I just saw you right now. You were like an oasis and I jumped on top and started kissing you with my tongue. And then I got a mouthful of sand, honey. I'm dying. I think I'm going to die. Please. I tried to impregnate the sand dune. Please, honey. Please, baby. I'm sorry, Sergio. You've reached the voice note of Caroline Sandbury. Please leave a message after this voice note ends. Boop.

Baby, baby, baby. That's not even how voice notes work. So then, Stanbury is like, Oh God, I mean, this wasn't even done to her. It was done to you and to Lena. You're both here and I am the one off crying. How does that work? Because this is the second time this has happened to Stanbury where she's like, wait a minute, the wrong person is in trouble here because Caroline Brooks still hasn't had to answer for how she behaved at Stanbury's party because she made herself the victim. So she's being out housewised by these people. I'm just

saying. She is. It's hilarious. So then they're in their vans and everything. And then, so yeah, Stambury is like really pissed off. And then in the other van, Brooks is like, leave her alone. She needs a timeout. We don't share personal text messages. We don't do that. I'm like, yeah, I'm sure Carolyn Brooks never,

never sends text messages to other people or voice notes or screenshots. Never. But it's totally okay to share exact conversations that you've had with people like you did when you said that Caroline Stamberry was talking about seeing Brooks or Tullien's vagina or whatever. Yeah. Okay.

Exactly. So then we go to the nightclub and Brooks and Tullien are best friends because you know what? Nothing bonds each other more than drugs and alcohol That's just it You can fight all you want when you're sober when you're shitface and you have someone to get as shit faces You like to get with you. I'll bet you're off baby. You two go live your best life you crazy kids Yes, they're partying telling Talene goes up to Sam. Where's like hey, you wanna see my vagina call back to the first episode Yeah, and she's, I've seen it.

And honestly, whenever you lift up your skirt, I always imagine I'm just gonna see Sergio's face because that's the big vagina I see every day on my phone. So then Sparkler girls, bottle girls come and it's very Southern hospitality, but in Bali, Bali hospitality, Southern hospitality. And Lisa is sad because Ayan's not there. They get shit faced on cheap loker, loker?

I don't know what that is. It's like yogurt with liquor in it, I don't know. And then Talene is talking to some weird, aged Fabio type guy and she's like, I'm gonna fix you up with one of my friends. I'm gonna fix you up with one of my friends. Come over here and I'm gonna go with one of my friends. I'm gonna fix you up with one of my friends. Come over here and I'm gonna go with one of my friends. So she brings this guy who has this long, long hair

over to Brooks and, sorry, and she's like, all right, everyone, ladies, this is Sam. Sam, okay, this is Caroline and this is Saba. Okay, Saba, she's like probably the most, you know, magnetic personality in our group. Okay, tryaba, she's like, probably the most, you know, magnetic personality in our group. Okay, try to, try to resist, try to resist her temptations. Okay, sit down, talk to my friends. Saba goes, allow me, please take my seat. She gets up and gets the hell out of there.

So, Stamber is like, oh, Fabio's here. Good for us. And so, he starts trying to make small talk with Caroline. He's like, so, where are you from? She's like, America. He's like, and what about you? Sarah's like, I'm sorry, did you ask me to marry you? No, I have nothing to say. Sorry, nothing to say. So, so Brook Shields, what do you do? What are you doing here in Bali? He's like, well, I'm actually the GM of Sky Garden.

It's a club. Like, oh, and then immediately they're like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. So they all of a sudden like this place because they know they can get free drinks with him by going to his club. So they immediately leave and they first they go to what looks like senior frogs of Bali, which maybe he owns as well. They go to another club and it's they're all dancing and having fun and everything. And I mean, they ultimately make their way over to Sky Garden, but I don't remember the order. Yeah, this is just like a fun and games montage,

basically. And then one of them, Lisa sees a birdcage, so she gets up and starts like, sexy dancing in it. And Stamberry goes, isn't that how she met Rich? You know, I forgot that she accused, I forgot that last season she accused Lisa of being a call girl or an escort or whatever. That's right. And Sarah's like, this is safe, but this place is safe, but I feel like the sober mom right now. I'm dancing in cages. I'm trying to protect these girls from ending up in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer.

That's not who Jeffrey Dahmer killed. He killed gay guys. God, Sarah. I think they're okay. Bravo is watching them with cameras. That's not who Jeffrey Dahmer killed. He killed gay guys. God, Sarah. I think they're okay. Bravo is watching them with cameras. I would have watched it on Netflix, but I wouldn't do that to my future husband. I would never disrespect him like that. So yeah, now listen, if this is true that Lisa was an escort, I can guarantee you that someone's told her to fuck off before, because I've seen a lot of movies about escorts and strippers.

They tell each other that a lot. So then Sarah is... Okay, you already said that. So basically they're having fun and it keeps cutting to Chanel in bed and sounds of crickets and stuff. And then even Stamberg gets drunk enough to start pole dancing, but it's as awkward as you would think it would be with her. And it just like gets on the pole and you just hear

if he slowly falls down it and she goes, Am I broken? Something like, now you're still in touch. That's unfortunate. I was hoping my legs would fall off, so I wouldn't have to have sex with Sergio anymore. Oh, that's unfortunate. I was hoping my legs would fall off so I wouldn't have to have sex with Sergio anymore. So I like also that like she gets up on stage and does this like little jig, little dance and they're like, oh, she knew it was an 80s song. So clearly they like, we're not hearing like, it's clearly an 80s song is playing. And I'm only just,

I'm just trying to imagine what 80s song came on that inspired Carolyn Sandberg to get on stage and do this like little shuffle thing with her feet, you know, she's like, look at me, I'm a wild potty girl dancing to in excess. Like, what's it? Gloria, Gloria, Gloria. Beat it. Just beat it.

Beat it. I'm looking at the man in the mirror and he's disgusting. Get me a diet. Don't start believing. I never want to dance again. That's where the song should end. It's just a declaration. It's what I dedicated to. Can we sing parts of karaoke? Can we sing parts of karaoke? Can we just sing the best lyric of any song here? I'll start. I'm your private dancer.

The end. She just pointed Lisa. Dancer for money. All right, that's it. I've done the karaoke. We go now. Cold-hearted snake. So they're having a great time.

Let them lead the way. I mean, that was just part of the Whitney Houston song about the children. I took out all the love parts and just sent them away immediately. What if we just revise some of these songs? Don't lean on me. Don't wake me up. Just go go. Okay. So now it's the next day and it's horror. It's spiritual music and stuff. We see beautiful shots of Bali and then

And it's spiritual music and stuff. We see beautiful shots of Bali. And then we get a horror, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr like super close up on her face. And she's staring at the blown up picture that Sergio has made her take of himself. That's just him shirtless in town with bleach blonde hair. And she's just looking at it like, God, I hope he's died. The desert. Ring, ring.

Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, please. I've been taken by a lady in a motorcycle. I've been, they've buried a hole. I'm now stuck in the hole. They are throwing dirt at my head and letting wolves sniff my ears. Honey, honey, please, please honey. Honey, I found a cave. Please come save me. I'm in the cave. It is dark. It is scary. Please save me. Oh God. All right. Well, ladies, unfortunately, Sergio has found himself in the English patients.

We have to do something about this. found himself in the English patients. He's English patiented himself again. Michael, hello. This is Caroline. Could you find Sergio? He's Christian Scott Thomas did up again. Thank you. Oh, God. Sergio is about to die. It's now the time I sing back in black. Hold on. Sergio is about to die in the cave. Hold on. Let me sing some karaoke. Freedom. Freedom.

I'm sorry. That's, that's way too many words. It's just give you up. Sorry. I'm just doing it. Part of a Rick Astley there. Here comes one right now. Just doing part of a Rick Astley there. What are you doing? I'm Dan Tbersky. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like, stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down-low. Everybody thought I was holding something back.

Well you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on

the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. So then we go to Tommy and she's like, what are you doing? We have to go, Sampery. And she's like, I've still got my clothing on me. This is disgusting. Please get it off of me. Do you know how hungover I am?

Oh, God, I'm on an hour's sleep. Are you okay? You look like hell. She's like, no. Last night, I just wanted to poke a little fun at Sarah. I don't know how it all blew up on me. Do you know how hungover I am? Oh, God, I'm on an hour's sleep. Are you okay? You look like hell. She's like, no, last night I just wanted to poke a little fun at Sarah. I don't know how it all blew up on me. And me too, because we found out she's not a fan of me. I mean, in the context of that moment. But you know what I'm saying. Can I be in this? Oh, darling, nobody's a fan of you, Tilly. You're like the Sergio of women, which is funny because Sergio is like the Sergio of

women. So now Ayaan calls Chris and she's okay this morning. So she's calling him and talking about the Lisa thing. And you know, she's like, oh, I was blindsided at dinner by Stambury. And now Lisa says she doesn't trust me. How dare she? And Chris has another useless platitude of a husband, of a housewife's husband. He goes, yeah, well, you know, things go through ups and downs. You'll get over it, right?

Chris has just typed into chat GPT, what's a good quick thing I can say to get my wife to get off the phone? Yeah. Things go through ups and downs. You can get over it, right? And she was like, I'm not gonna take any side. She was like, I don't have friends.

The only close friend I had other than Lisa growing up died of AIDS. And now I only have Lisa. And I just am beyond hurt. Like this is the saddest moment of the show for sure. Make up, just go make up. It's just Housewives. I know. Don't let it, this is the saddest moment of the show, for sure. Make up. Just go make up. It's just Housewives. Don't let it... And you know that they don't...

This turns into, like, a huge thing, and they don't really make up, right? And it's sad because... Yeah, I think their friendship is over, yeah. I don't like it. I like friends to stay friends on these shows, even if they're people I don't like. Like, I still wish that Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump are friends. I like friends to stay friends on these shows, even if there are people I don't like.

I still wish that Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump are friends. I like that. I like when it's about friendships ultimately coming through all this bullshit. So come on guys, let's get it together. Think about me. There's a 48 year old gay man who needs you. So Talene and Sam Brer are talking and Talene's like, well, I think that it came out of left field. I mean, it just seemed like an ambush on Ayan. Sam Bray's like, oh, it wasn't that

bad. Ambushing, that's kind of like my love language. And she's like, well, Ayan is mad at Lisa. She goes, oh, well, I didn't get that. She goes, yeah, Lisa went to Ayan's room and Ayan yelled at her and told her to get out. She goes, no. And no one recorded that. That's just a shame. Come on. Now that's the voice note I want shared. Go back, someone get it. And so then Ayaan is still talking to Chris and she's like, Oh my God. And the worst thing is I've got to know Stan Barry and she did this to me. I cannot believe she did this. I feel played. I got to know her so fast and And she used it against me. And she made it bad with me and Lisa. And that's the worst thing she could have done." And he's like, honey, I think you're at least thinking clearly this morning. Must

be the haircut that makes us both so smart. And that's so nice for their relationship that they both have bald heads now. They can like make those jokes. It's cute. Yeah. So, Talene's like, you know what? You need to get your shit together, Stanbury. Sarah really planned this. And then Sarah, um, Sarah's like, she, we see a flashback of Sarah saying, uh, everyone, so we're going to have a really fun vacation.

We're going to like party and have fun, but I'm also going to do a water blessing and the waterfalls cleanse our traumas. So that'll be really fun for everyone. Waterfalls. Oh my God. We're going to chase waterfalls. Waterfalls, especially rivers and lakes that we're used to. Waterfalls. Clearly, she's going for, like, she's trying to sell her seminars or whatever she does. I think

she does like seminar, like self-help seminars, but it's just, I think she gets like $5,000 a seminar. I mean, she really gets paid a lot of money for these. I don't know how many people do them, but it's just funny that that's what she's selling. Like, you know what I do? I take women to bodies of water that they can scream into. That'd be $10,000. I mean, why don't you just put on the water faucet and scream into that? And that's what Sergio does every time I tell him I don't want him going close to the Doritos. So, she's at breakfast with Saba and they're waiting for everybody to come and Sara is like, oh, the amount of alcohol last night, I'm surprised if anyone is even awake. And so, Chanel and awkward, Chanel and awkward, Chanel and Lisa come in awkwardly

at the same time. And Saba's making small talk. She's like, did you even eat last night? We missed you, Chanel, darling. Is everything okay? And Chanel goes, I just needed some space, mental space. Saba's like, I understand. It was such an intense dinner. People at the dinner were both hurt by what happened. Brooks was hurt. Talene was hurt. There was just so much hurt happening. Wish there had just been a locker to put it all in. It was just a very, very hurtful moment. I'm Sabah. I too am hurt. Hurt by what I saw last night, which was hurtful. To everybody involved. Can I keep talking about hurt? Anybody? Anybody need more hurt monologue?

I can't help but feel like my powerful and overbearing personality must have caused some of the hurt from last night and I apologize. With great power comes great responsibility and I, Sabah, have unfortunately unleashed my deeply magnetic personality on everyone at the table. Please forgive me. I sing. I know you've all been blinded by my personality. I didn't mean to hurt you. So much hurt has been happening around the table. So they just were like, oh my God, shut up.

So I was like, I get it, I get it. But look, I went to the room and me and Lisa, me and Lisa, listen, we have to talk. Lisa, you are like my sister and we have to talk. And Lisa's like, oh my God, I've never been spoken to like this. I need a minute. I need a minute. I need a minute right now. So she gets up and cries away. And it becomes like a commercial break. And so then after we come back from commercial, Ayaan is like, Lisa and she's like crying and Sarah's like, oh, I feel so bad for Lisa. I'm worried that if she cries too much now, she won't be able to cry.

The waterfall would just be terrible. And so I am. So that's like I say, I get it. Because there's just so much. All right. Stick a cork in it. Would you just to see breakfast or we've got some quiet. I've been told that my personality brings people to tears on account of how forceful it is. I am a confronting person and it's been my burden.

So now Aion's apology. She's like, I did not have to shout. I did not have to throw you like that, but I was so hurt. I was really hurt. I told you, just so much hurt. It's like that deaf leopard song, is it my time for karaoke? Love hurts. That's not deaf leopard. And I wish I were deaf right now. And I wish there were a leopard to eat you alive. I hate that song. Actually, when I sing it, it's just called

hurts. it's just called hurts. You know what I love? The song that I danced to with Sergio at our wedding went, hurts so bad. Come on Sergio, why you hit so bad? My eardrums hurt so bad. Anyone? So I answered, you know, what really affected me was the trust. And she's like, okay, well, I should not have said that I don't trust you. I got past it. But what I couldn't get past last night was when I came to your room, you screamed, get the fuck out. It was so hurtful. We don't speak to each other like that. We bicker like sisters. But that was next level. I've never been spoken to like that before.

There's like literally like no reason, unless like you said with my husband, there's literally, literally, there's like nothing you could do that could make me ever talk to you again like that. Because I love you like a sister. Literally, there's nothing that you could literally do. And then Talene joins the table and she's like, hi, my love. I got like no sleep. What's happening? Whoa. Oh my God, sorry. I just got a solar flare from Saba's personality.

Sorry. It's really intense. Sorry. We're just over here recovering from the hurt at breakfast. She's like, Oh, Jesus Christ, she's still going on. Oh, God, is there anything to heal my hangover? And Saba's like, has a different type of trauma that you've got, babe. No one can heal you from that. There's no waterfall that can heal you from the hurt of vodka. So then, meanwhile, Sabah, like someone Sabah has inflicted harm because she's rubbing Sarah's palm and they're like, what's going on over there? She says, oh, well, she gave me some toxic glue

and I spilled it on her hand. I'm like, what? There's no context and no explanation. She's just rubbing toxic glue off of Sarah's hand. So then Ayaan and Lisa make up and decide that they're gonna be friends again. They're never gonna do this to each other again. And Lisa believes that Ayaan is really sorry and then Ayaan touches her feet and she goes, you know, in my culture, this means I would

never touch feet, but in my culture, it means you're so special to me that I'll touch your feet. And so she's like, okay, well, I guess I'll touch your feet. Thank you. You know, what's funny is that I've often touched Sergio's feet, okay, well, I guess I'll touch your feet. Thank you. You know, what's funny is that I've often touched Sergio's feet, but I've always been wanting to use that toxic glue that's a perfect opportunity for it. So right on his toes.

So then, let's see. So then, Ion still posted a stampede though. So she's like, I gave her the opportunity and privilege to be my friend and she did me dirty. So we'll see what happens to her. And Talene's like, did you miss her? Hey, my aunt, you missed out. We had so much fun last night. God, we had a good time, didn't we girls? Didn't we? And I was like, there's no party without me, period. So then Brooks joins, like everyone's getting to the table so slowly. They miss all the drama. And Sarah is like, oh my God,

how do you have the capacity to drink after yesterday? I mean, I'm not being judgy. I'm just saying that like, maybe your life isn't very full right now. And Celine's like, okay, well you gotta keep going at this rate. Cause when you stop, that's it, right? It's like having sex with Raph, you know?

Once you're in, you're in. Okay guys, today's all about positivity. We're going to go to a waterfall and you'll get a lot of people screaming there because that's how you release energy from your body. You release your worries, your traumas. Sergio won't be there. Yes. I'm in. All right. Yes. I just love pitching an idea to Caroline Sandbury. Today's all about positivity. Please die.

Die. I just want us to feel the love in our heart. Please just jump off a fucking cliff. What if you have no heart? So Sarah's like, usually traumas are trapped in the body in the form of negative energy. And so like when you scream, you're allowing your body to physically like let go of it. I feel like this experience will help them literally manipulate the energy to live the life that you want. I was like, oh! My trauma is currently trapped in a cave with a lady from a

motorcycle threatening to cut off his knees. And I've got three more traumas entering fifth, sixth in college grades. So they split up into vans and Caroline is in the van of misery and it's because she's miserable, she's a miserable person. And she's also with the hungover people. So that van's not going great. Tony's like, I don't feel good at all, guys. I really do not feel good at all. She's like, oh God, how much would it take to reroute this driver? I'd rather be in bed.

They're in the driveway still, by the way. Is she that wasted? Sarah's like, why do you need to be rerouted? She goes, I'd rather be in bed, Sarah has nothing to do with you. She goes, what if this makes you feel good, Stamberry? What if this is positive for you? She goes, oh God, I can do positive things tomorrow. What if I tell you that Sergio's in that bit? Okay, to the waterfall we go. So, then, so Ayaan is in the other van, Ayaan's FaceTiming with Rich and she's like, I'm so sorry I made your wife cry. I never meant to make her cry, I was just very upset. And they're like having a fun time. And this is like a long drive, it's like a two hour drive.

It's funny, you were making my wife cry, I was making girls, I was making it rain for girls. So you see there, we both had a great night, didn't we babe? And Talina's like, well, Lisa and Ion seem to be okay, that's good. Oh God, I think I'm going to be Sergio. I'm sorry. I think I'm going to be sick. Give me a bag to throw up in preferably yours, Sarah. So then the other cars like partying and dancing, everybody's having a custom stand very just being miserable. She's like, God, where's my husband? Do I still have one? She's like, God, where's my husband? Do I still have one? Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed that my little heartbeat detector isn't where. There it is. Here it goes. Baby, honey, baby. Oh, there he is now. Morning, honey. Honey, morning. I woke up. I don't have any legs

left on me. Please. Please come get me. There's now a gang of women who are coming in and sitting on me until I start crying and I think I'm impregnating them all, baby. Please, please. They keep calling me the only man left. Please, baby, please. Darling, did you go to Applebee's again? Are you confused? Darling, did you go to Applebee's again? Are you confused? I don't have time for this Sergio. I'm not feeling good. Please, baby, don't leave me with this. Yes, but Sergio, I'm nauseous. You may be offered up as part of some sort of midsummer retreat. I'm actually the one who's nauseous and I'm the one who's the real victim here.

So she gets out and pukes. She really does. And so I was like, oh, God, this is bullshit. I'm trying to keep the vibration high. I can't. This is so annoying. And so I was like, it's so exhausting listening to her make digs and comments. My God, what a negative woman, just sewing hurt and hurt upon hurt. God, if this were a forest and she was the only person in it, her trees would just be sprouting up. Sarah's like, I mean, she just won't stop. I mean, like, shut the fuck up already. God, this is supposed to be about positivity. And Sarah was like, I mean, she's in an extra bad mood this morning. I wasn't even able to talk about chai tea. So Sarah says, I mean, like, I get it. You're hungover. Your stomach is upset. However,

she has no compassion, no empathy, no respect to anyone with this. What's herself? I'm like, I know that she is kind of a downer. She is also the one who is under the weather right now and you're complaining that you're not getting empathy and compassion. I cannot believe the person who is ill doesn't have compassion for me. I was actually thinking, wow, I mean, I get that you're mad at her right now, but it's really nice that you're listing all of her positive aspects. You know, that's nice. It's like, that's a good thing to remember. Like, even when you're mad, just remember why you like somebody in the first place. She has no passion, no empathy, and no respect for anybody

except herself. Oh, you got to see my senior year quote about myself. That's why I'm on my second Bravo show, you fucking moron. She goes, but when Sergio calls her, she's like, oh, hello, darling. I miss you, darling. Why can't you miss us? Why can't we be darling? Why can't you be nice to us?

Because you're annoying. Okay? You're annoying. And you've got a hungover person in the car and you're attacking them with your toxic positivity bullshit that you charge thousands of dollars to give people shut the fuck up over there. Okay. I know your brain is a pain in the ass, but at least she's entertaining. You know, she's in your force to sit for two hours to go to a waterfall. That is like not like a tourist waterfall. It's like you have

to screen and be spiritual and you can't just like sit and take photos of it. So the drivers like the driver sounds like he's from like 1948 Brooklyn, New York is like, Hey, we're going to go drive over to the minimart now. I was like, who's this person? And then they go and Sarah's like, Oh, do you feel a, do you feel a little bit better? She's like, no. Sergio's still on the phone. Why didn't I ever hang up? Of course I'm nauseous. He's been on FaceTime this entire time.

So we go to the waterfall and Ayan has to put on something fabulous, you know. She's like, I've got to ditch this Fendi. So she's like, safety is important, but I'm still going to look beautiful. So they arrive and there's no swearing allowed. Can we just go to one place where these people can swear? Pete Slauson I know. Well, it doesn't stop Brooks because it says, no swearing allowed because, oh my God, are we going fucking hiking?

Pete Slauson So, they meet a guy, his name is Komang, and they go, they're going to go do like a healing center and they're going to like do some purifications. They're going to like, they have to change the surrounds, we're going to do some offerings. And Sarah's like, when I travel, I always, I always have a purpose. I travel to recharge. I traveled for self growth.

I traveled for healing. I'm like, wow, you really revolutionized what it means to be a tourist. It's like, you know what I like to do? I just like to book a flight to a country and then just see what happens. Maybe I'll just get abducted. I don't know.

It's like, yeah, I think a lot of people, she's like, I love that she's like, the idea of traveling to recharge is like- She's just literally better than everybody else at all times. She's like, I don't travel like you travel. I travel for the right reasons, for recharge and self growth. Shut the fuck up, my God, go play some crafts and fuck her.

You know what I mean? I can get out of here. Sometimes I travel just to see a new place. I know, it's wild. She would never though. She'd be like, I don't travel to see new places. I travel to bring new things to new places they've never had before, like self love and self care.

I once went to a small town in Africa. They had a great Four Seasons, but I wasn't there for that. I was there to show them the electric toothbrush. It was so important for me to go to this faraway land and learn about the people and the cultures and understand the perspective that's different than mine. Plus, there was a really hot guy from Instagram who was on the horse was like, maybe come back to Dubai and like, I spent time with you. Yeah.

But honestly, she is so ridiculous. I, but I'm, I really enjoy her on this show just because she is that ridiculous. Like I love, I love this, this, this grift that she's just trying to pull over our eyes, you know, like that she, like that she's like this really deep person. It's so fake. It's hilarious. Yeah, it is really fake. So then Ayaan is being frosty with Stambury and Ayaan just swishes by her and orders a coffee from the coffee people. And she's like, is this the coffee that the animals eat it and then they poop? That's a real coffee, you know.

It makes you poop. You heard of it? Isn't that all coffee? No, no, it's not that it makes you poop. It's that the civets eat the coffee beans and then they poop out the coffee beans and then they roast those like pooped out coffee beans. That's like a special type of civet coffee that's supposed to be like actually a coffee delicacy. It's like the best type of civet coffee that's supposed to be like actually a coffee delicacy.

It's like the best coffee in the world. There's something about the civets eating, like digesting coffee beans, create some sort of chemical reaction and change in the bean. And it's like this really prized esoteric coffee, which is wild. Well, because I'm, listen, I love an esoteric coffee. That's for damn sure. Especially if it got pooped out of an animal, got pooped out of a cat.

I'm all for it. You know, one of my favorite oils is Argon oil, and that is made from some kind of nut that is eaten by an animal and then pooped out. And that's how they get the oil. And so I basically wear poop on my face all day. I love it. Yeah.

And I just ate a fig tonight, and we all know, figs need a little bug to crawl into it and fuck the fig. Big. It's a wasp right? Yeah. It's a wasp. It's it's a thing. Well, I mean, it's got a dime there or something like that. And like, I don't know, I figured it goes in there to have like one last rub. But it is a wasp. It has like a little pearl necklace and a sweater around his shoulders. It's like, really? What an absolutely lovely fig. I don't just go to figs. I die in them and give people sustenance. It's like, okay, Sarah wasp.

Okay. So, Stambury is like, oh, Chanel needs cleansing because she just walked past me with the death stare. She's not talking to me, I guess. Not you either, Talene.ber is like, oh, Chanel needs cleansing, because she just walked past me with the death stare. She's not talking to me, I guess. Not you either, Talene. She's like, nah, she's upset. What are you gonna do? I think she's upset with you though, because you brought the whole thing up, remember that?

I mean, I know it was terrible for me too, because remember, Sarah's not really a big fan of me. I mean, maybe she'll change later, maybe she'll change later, who knows, who knows? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You know what? Ayaan and Stamber were just getting to a good place, and then hi-yah, place and then hi ya kicking the nuts karma's a bitch ion you're the one who leaked it did you

really think these women would not what this would not be brought out with these women so then we go to the purification ceremony and they have to offer up they have these baskets of like steaming stuff like a lot of steaming food or something in the baskets they have to carry these baskets to these statues and stanbury is like at the front of the line, he's like, how have I ended up at the front? This is how you wind up with someone named Sergio. You get in the line, you want to get at the back of the line and see who the eligible bachelors are and go for someone older and wiser. But if you go ahead first, you wind up with an idiot who gets himself lost in a cave waiting for someone to save him from the Sahara. Oh, God, by the way,

someone's calling me. Hello, Sergio. Honey, honey, please, please, please, honey, please get me out of here. Sergio, let me talk to one of the women there, get the one with the thickest eyebrows and preferably some sort of a beard. Oh, I know her. Hold on. Hello. Please take out his tongue, for Christ's sake. And why haven't you taken his phone yet? You're going to take the man's legs but leave him his cell phone. For Christ's sake. And why haven't you taken his phone yet? You're going to take the man's legs, but leave him his cell phone. For Christ's sake, can you people do anything? I'm trying to take a vacation and even here I'm followed by a younger man who doesn't know where to go. Please!" Pete So, they're bringing this stuff to these statues and the guy is like, okay, we're going to offer to this God. Siwa is

our highest, you know, like our most important God and you'll pray to Siwa, whatever. And he's like, oh, I don't like this part. I don't like this part. I'm not praying right here. I'm not going to pray. I won't pray. And Sarah's like, but you're giving an offering, babe. You're not believing. Okay. You're just giving an offering. Be positive, babe. And he's like, no, he separated these statues. And like, I'm all about culture. And I mean, no disrespect. But I don't know about this. It's giving very non-Christian. I'm like, it is giving non-Christian because it's non-Christian. It's non-Christian, you ignoramus. And it is fucking ignorant and it is fucking disrespect. So put that in your pocket.

I'm sure your God will realize like you're just being respectful to local tradition and won't be like, oh my God, she's what he didn't, she's banned. It's fucking ridiculous. And so I like that Talene's like, where was her moral high ground last night? And it cuts to her like sexy dancing in the cage. She's like, I didn't know when you were all of a sudden so conservative, but whatever. So then Lisa just stays out of it. She's not going to do it because God forbid, Jesus doesn't like incense at a waterfall. So then Stambury is like, oh God, this is horrible. This is like waiting tables with a hangover. I could not think of more miserable fate for someone than to wait on tables like a common

peasant servant in a tavern in 1345. I'm going to stop my analogy now. Oh, God, look at this. It's a bunch of women feeling things in a pretty location. Sergio would love this. He would love this. It's like the rock is crying. It's like this is what Sergio does any times he sees a card at Hallmark. So they, now they have to go in the waterfall.

And Sandra is like, no, I won't do this. And so they go in and they're having this like spiritual moment and she's just sitting next to the waterfall on her phone, just scrolling through Instagram. Last time I saw this much wet saltiness is when I told Sergio he couldn't come on this trip. I really don't need to be reminded of that. I'm still traumatized by it. So much hurt. Shut up, Sabah. Get out, please. Let me have a moment. If I were at home right now, I'd be saying lots of words that Americans say in a different way. For instance, I'd be having coffee in my bed, a vitamin drip, having a massage in

the afternoon, figuring out my schedule and wrapping something in aluminum foil. Who on earth wants to go to a waterfall and scream with a bunch of crazy women that hate you? So now we see them in the falls and they're screaming and Brooke's like, I feel like I'm letting go of everything I've ever been through. My child's trauma, all the things that have hurt me, the toilet that's embedded in the floor at the glass house. Oh, and Sarah's like, oh, I'm taking so much anger out now from my past relationships. Oh, God, like the one where that guy was married, that really hurt. And Lisa's like, yeah,

I think she keeps herself busy because of the grief she feels about her brother. Oh, then it gets sad. So, Lisa's like, sorry, I read that as like something she was saying. It was her first person. Lisa is saying that, yeah, her brother died, so she's taking her grief out. Okay, that's legit. And then Ion, everybody does that. They scream their trauma. Yeah, they just have it. We all know their traumas. And so, Celine's like, yeah, I don't feel any different with the screaming. I mean, Raph makes me scream and that usually helps. And I make the children scream when I try to make cookies and they go on a four-day sugar high.

But like, yeah, waterfall does nothing. And Stambury is like, oh my God, my trauma was cost a lot of money. All right. My parents paid a lot of money to get me this trauma and Those nannies weren't cheap. All right. I mean, basically it's like asking me to give away an ugly Fendi bag. It's ugly, but it's still Fendi. This waterfall is bringing me back to a trauma, which is when I went to Niagara Falls and I spent 45 minutes trying to convince Sergio he should go over the falls in a barrel. So then they go back to the villa and Lisa has decided to reach out to Miss Indonesia's designer, Miss Indonesia's designer, to dress them. So, she's gotten all these dresses. And she's like, I'm not doing the culinary experience, but I am going to put everybody in dresses.

She's like, these traditional dresses are usually worn doing weddings or beauty pageants. I was like, oh, okay. Those two spheres coming together here. By the way, we are neither at a wedding nor a beauty pageant because they're all made by hand. And so, and they're so, so stunning. Well, tortillas are made by hand too.

I don't want to wear one to dinner. But they look fine. I mean, I like that they're like a local dress. I mean, it's a local dress, but they're not fitted for anybody. And there's no like tailor to help with anything. She's just like, here's some old dresses. Of course hers looks amazing.

Hers is like, she gives the good colors perfectly to dresses. Of course, hers looks amazing. Hers is like, fitting perfectly to her body. Yeah, she looks amazing in hers, but everybody else looks like they're wearing like, sacks made out of that skin colored, what do you call that? Like that gauze type stuff that they use in formal dresses now, whatever that is.

So it looks like their skin is like all wrinkled and bunched up. Yeah. So yeah, so yeah, Talene gets a brown one and Carolina gets like a blue one and like, you know, Brooks gets like a yellow one and everything. So they're all getting into it. Lisa FaceTime is our son cause we have to have, we always have to have FaceTiming with the kids on a vacation, which is one of my least favorite Bravo tropes. And then, um, meanwhile,

we cut to a glamp, one area of glam where some of the people are not happy. Tling's like, I got the worst color out of all of them. And Timber goes, your skirt looks like someone did a poop. By someone, I mean, Sergio, pooping in a cave somewhere. I mean, this is a disaster. I don't know where we're meant to go in these. These are not couture. These were not made for us. These were taken off some poor girl who works in a restaurant down the road and probably has to be returned in an hour. The girl and the dress. Poor girl working at a restaurant, like as if she were hung over waiting tables. God,

what an awful fate. I know. She's really going back to that well a lot today. Focus on that. She really had a bad restaurant experience, but also like- That new mortgage experience is really affecting her that she's like, oh God, I might have to wait tables again. Yeah. And also, where is she expecting to wear couture dresses right now? Like you're on vacation, you're going to some beach shack probably for dinner.

That's not where you're going to be pulling out your like, diet, first and Berg dress. Well, it's the classic we're all going to wear a costume. No, we're not. I just needed Lisa Barlow to be like, I spent $60,000 on glam every month. Honestly, look, I don't want to disrespect the culture, but these colors are not for me. And Brooks goes, you look like a curtain. I love that they all say I don't want to disrespect the culture as they all disrespect the culture.

And Tony's like, I'm not going down like this. That's for sure. Well, we should have had an option. I will never have chosen mustard yellow. Never. I don't wear mustard yellow. Dun dun dun. Will she do? ever. I don't wear mustard yellow. Dun dun dun. Will she do?

Tune in next week to find out, will she wear mustard yellow? What could possibly happen? I love so much silliness. Well, that was that was good. So that was our Little Dubai episode for the week. We will be back later this week with Rean Heswas of Orange County. Be sure to tune in for that and listen to our bonus episode. Listen to Dwell Hello and just be around. Just be around us.

Just be here. Okay? Just be here. Just be present with us. Okay? Just be positive. Just be No, just be here, okay? Just be here. Just- just- just be present with us, okay? Like, just be like positive. Just be like- Just go scream in the waterfall that is Watch What Cra's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela! Itchels! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles! She's never scary, it's the green fairy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Hava Nagila Weber!

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