Watch What Crappens - #2514 RHUGT Encore: 0401 Legacy Part Two: Pigeons, Pirates, and Fans

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

*This is part two of a two-part Encore recap! Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip returns for its fourth season starring the previous cast of Real Housewives of New York! Will Ramona be able to keep up the “new woman” act? Will Dorinda be able to stop herself from drunkenly screaming at someone? Will Luann ever admit to banging that pirate? No. The answer to every one of those questions is no. Oh. Spoiler alert. This week’s bonus episode is a Trailer Trash breakdown of the Vanderpump Rules trailer. You can get it and or watch this recap on video at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Guess what happens when there's so much that happens So then Dorinda and Kristin go swimming. Oh my gosh. Okay. So it seems like Dorinda's let the storm pass, right? Like it's only day one. So surely Dorinda is just going to let this pass. So Kristin is getting on the inflatable swan. She's like, Oh my God. I'm like, how do you even ride a swan? Am I right? So Dorinda, have you been here before? And Dorinda is like, listen, you were, you were you were about to make a play for me at the table. Remember that right now when it just happened? So listen, if you wanna play, I can play.

We could have a lot of fun, okay? Listen, honey, I said I was on pause and you said, oh, we're gonna go there again. What did you mean by that? What did you mean by that, huh? Tristan's like, well, because it was... And remember it comes, I mean, and the barely exactly that one. No, yeah, no, you said it exactly. The only part you left out was that Dorinda says, oh, you tried to make a play for me. We'll let that one pass, which is a lie, because

then she literally does not let that pass whatsoever. So Kristen's like, well, because you said on your ultimate trip, oh, but you weren't on my ultimate trip. Yeah, but I watched it. Why are you so sensitive about it? Because you're here now. You're here. You're on a show.

She's like, I'm not sensitive about anything. Why are you bringing it up? Why are you expanding to it? She had nothing to do with it. When literally it was Durenda who said, when I was put on pause at lunch and it was her who walked into the pool. It was like, show you tried to make a play for me, Missy. She is so thin skinned. It's hilarious. And so you got nothing to do with it. You know why? Cause you've been fired for a very long time.

You're not even part of our group. You were fired so long. But can we even remember you've been fired the longest. So now it's not just you were fired is you've been fired longer than other people So even if I was fired too, I was still fired more recently than you which makes your fire grosser because it's older Yeah, you have an older firing Firing I Know and then she starts doing this really it's just really, she starts doing this thing where she goes, thank you for joining us. We can't wait to get to know you again after being off for so long.

Can't wait to get to know you again. We barely even know you. Some of us don't even know your face or your name. Can't wait to get to know you. Yeah. Can't wait to get to know you. You've been fired for so long. Hey, your firing is so old, Sony you would date it. All right. Whoever you are. Kristen's like, Oh my God, PTSD from the Berkshires. It's all coming back to me. I wish I could just put pause on this whole conversation. Like what is going on right now? Like the show doesn't exist anymore. I get a job ladies. Get a job ladies. And mom so hard mom so hard

You know what I'm telling you, you know what you did you broke the tail. That's what you did All right, just pick an animal you broke the tail off of it And you know what you think you're gonna take the tail off a lizard Have you ever done that before you know what happens the lizard tail it keeps going without you Okay, just keeps going and then the tail grows back. So you didn't win anything today. All right? Lizards, lizards don't run with peanut butter. Okay. So the Kristen's like, there was no tail to pull. You post it to her. You post it. Someone's super sensitive. I'm not sensitive at all.

The fact is people love to poke a bear with me and the truth is I don't really care. You know what I mean? You want to poke a bear with the dog, the bear's going to eat the dog. And this is how it goes. I didn't make up the animal planet. The animal planet made up animals. And you know what? Don't mess with an animal because animals kill people.

Listen, you pulled the tail but what you didn't realize that while you're pulling the tail your finger which was holding the tail accidentally poked a bear that was sitting next to us so be careful tear pull it now don't yell at me because I'm not a dog although literally if you yell at a dog it will literally bite back at you so not calling to bring not calling to render a dog so wait calling Dorinda a dog. Wait, what'd you say if a dog what? When she said, don't yell at me, I'm not a dog. But the funny thing is, if you yell at a dog, it is going to snap back at you. But then I realized it sounded like I'm calling Dorinda a dog.

And I'm not calling Dorinda a dog whatsoever. I take it all back. I was just trying to poke a hole in the logic of the metaphor. And instead it sounded like I was listening to dog. Dorinda will send you into a cycle of crazy. You need to be very careful when talking about before you know it. It's like literally any of these people like talking about even talking about Ramona to this extent, like we're past an hour at this point. Even talking about Ramona for an hour. It's like how many times have we just gotten ourselves in trouble just from making Ramona comments?

Cause she's just Ramona. I'm like, it's a landmine. Yeah. But that being said, I actually, and this is not, this is not because it sounded like I called her a dog, which I didn't. I love Dorinda. It didn't sound like that by the way. I just, I, okay, good.

But I love Dorinda. I love how she goes hot and cold because it feels so real. Like I feel like it's with her, it's so real. It doesn't feel like she does it for reality TV. Like this is like, you're just seeing who this person is and I just love it. So Kristen is like, she's like,

let me talk to you. You're like, you know what? I really see the reality of this person. And the reality is this person is extremely drunk at all times. It's like, God, this is beautiful. This really is beautiful. Dorinda, let me talk to you. Okay.

Listen, I might not be smart, but I'm pretty. Let's never forget Kristen's most, Kristen's best contribution to the Bravo universe was saying her line. I may not be smart, but I'm pretty, which is like one of the most mortifying lines almost like almost trumped by Crystal's current line, which is they say wisdom comes with age, but I'm proving everyone wrong. Oh my God. So Kristen's like, Dorinda, I've been living my life for eight years. Okay.

I'm like as happy as a clamp. Don't bring animals into this. Listen, clams aren't happy. Clams are the most depressing shellfish in the history of oceans. She turned up, you know, listen, I know clams. I know clams and you're not a clam. You're a very miserable muscle, that's what you are.

A barnacle, you're a barnacle. Don't pull the oyster on a clam. I'll tell you that, little bitch. And she's like, listen, I mean, I don't need this, Dorinda. I got the phone call just like you did, Dorinda. She was, oh, oh, now you're saying we need this? Oh, wow, Luan, do you need this? And Luan just passed us, she's like, what's going on?

And Kirsten goes, just would you stop her from picking on me, please? Do I need this? That's ridiculous. Pirate story coming at 8.30pm tonight. Stay tuned. I don't need anything, but you do need the intel on the pirate. Coming up soon.

Get your tickets now. Later. None of us in the real house has a girl. Go ahead. Sorry. Sorry to interrupt you. No, no, no. Later. None of us in this house can. On the real house and as a girl. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Sorry I interrupted you. No, no, no. I was just being ridiculous because I've lost my mind talking about this show.

Continue on, Ronnie. None of us in this. And you know what? Don't be sensitive that you got fired. God knows how long ago, okay? You know what the last person that got fired ran the time you did was the Bush that God turned on fire to threaten somebody in the Bible, which is really old. Okay, your firing is that old, okay?

And so I won't be sensitive that I got put on pause, and you don't get sensitive that you were fired by I'm taking a nap now. Or I'm gonna die for eight years, which is what you did when you were fired, goodbye. I'm gonna do what most of America did whenever you showed up on TV I'm gonna take a nap so Llewenn goes up to Kristen she's like listen listen she is just sensitive about it about being fired put it on put it on pause not being cast in a cabaret not rising like

a phoenix whatever you want to call it but for for Dee, because that's what I'm going to call her now, Dee. It's like pouring gas on the fire and just even the subject of it ticks it off. So what I like to do is bring it up multiple times because it is hilarious. By the way, Pirate Story has been pushed back to about 840 p.m. Okay, just wanted to give you a special update. Holding for the artist, okay? Holding for the artist. Okay, well now I know not to bring it up. Okay, well, I think you've been gone eight years and you have big go-honest coming back.

Okay, I'm going down the stairs, which means you can stop talking to me now. It's like, well, I mean, I mean, listen, it's just the first day. Okay, I'm done with you. Okay, meet and greet's over. Goodbye. Meet and greet.

I'm sorry, no more autographs. No, listen, you've been gone for eight years and you have big gojones for coming back because most people who don't have any sort of personality or fan base wouldn't even try to come near us, a group of icons, but congratulations for you, lady with blonde hair. See you later, see you at the store,

at story time, 8.45 p.m. Listen, summer's not fun without fans, am I right? Bye, fan, bye, fan. So, Kelly goes to Dorinda's room, because Kelly knows an alpha when she sees one, basically, I think. So, Kelly goes to Dorinda's room, and Dorinda's like, oh, hello.

What did you think of the first day? Good, look at me. It's part of Dorinda, by the way. If you need to know what the bathroom is, just tell me and I'll ask somebody. I already forgot. So she's there. I mean, while Ramona's in glam and she's like, you know what?

Lady, lady servant. Okay. Possible lesbian, possible person I'm going to make out with, possible person of color. Okay. You know what? I'm in your hands. My hair is in your hands. My hands are in your hands.

Right? Whoa. I think that happens with a guy. Whoa. Am I touching another lady in a sensual way? Maybe. Who knows? I'm progressive. I'm a new liberal progressive Ramona. OK? I am the first Hispanic Vezbillon on television. That was me. I do believe I was the one on the cover of Latina magazine. So back to Dorinda, Dorinda's like, hey, what'd you think of the first day, Kelly? And she's like, to be honest,

I haven't seen like Sonia or Ramona in like so long. And like Kristen, I mean, I don't even know. Like I was, I guess I was pleasantly surprised by her. She's like, yeah, well, it takes a minute. We just, you know, we just got here. It takes a minute to take that bitch. There's nothing to say to you. Hopefully it won't take you as long as it did to take you

to get back on TV, which is eight years. That's a long time, right? Really long time. No offense. Well, like what's, yeah. Well, what's weird is like, everyone's like, be careful with Dorinda. Like she's going to be mean to you.

And I've like, no, I'm like, hello. I've known you for like a long time and like we hang out and like, you're not mean. And if this is making you get really angry right now, like that's strange, because you're not a mean person. Yeah, yeah, who are these people that say I'm mean? Like, you know, it's actually kind of powerful if you think about it, you know,

cause I'm like, you know, I'm like, I'm a nice person. I'm a nice person. Hey, hey, Martine, hey, will you tell that bitch Christine down the hallway that she's still fired? This doesn't count as being employed. Okay. Thank you very much. So she's like, you know what? I like being this powerful. It's like the almighty ISIS with my sword. I was like, okay, I know that ISIS was other things before, but only Dorinda would use ISIS. Of all the, of all the gods, all the powerful, of all the powerful gods out there. Can we not do the one that was like co-opted for a terrorist

organization? Yeah, but only it would be like, you know what? Yeah. I feel very powerful. Like a terrorist. Oh, basically I'm basically a terrorist. God, it feels good. What the hell, Dorinda. You are outspoken and you are fun. And I feel like you would never try to threaten me with a swag bag. Yeah! This is how I talk.

This is me talking. And you know what? You shake my hand and I shake it back. Shake my hand. Shake my hand. Shake it. What am I, a dog? What am I, a dog?

What do you mean, shake my hand? Get the fuck out of my room. You've been fighting for 10 years? You, get the fuck out of my room. You've been fighting for 10 years. You really pulled the tail out of my hand. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Who the fuck do you think you are touching me with? Don't pull the hands out of an earthworm, okay? You don't put your hands on someone else, okay?

You don't, look, we come from the same place and you don't put your hands on the person from the same place. So now Ramona and Sonia in their room, Ramona's doing her performative. You know what, Sonia? I just miss you so much. Look, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.

I'm just, you know, just ignoring me, making me feel like a terrible human being. It's just like maybe you're possibly jealous of because I just don't age. But still, I just miss you, Sonia. That's it. You know, you weren't wrong, Ramona. I'm so bad with my communication.

You know, after you like sex your vagina out to so many people, the idea of actually sending a normal text is just so exhausting sometimes. It's not you, it's me. Well, you know what? I think in my head, I think that I have a better relationship with Sonia than Sonia does with me in her real life. And you know what? It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. As long as you know what people stand with you, then you can caramelize, okay? You can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can compost. Well, you can compost. Did you know that? You can compost and concoct. Okay.

It's a compartment. Oh my god, compartmentalize. Okay. Whoa. You know what I mean? Right? I just don't know. What apartment? Departmentalize. Okay, like a store, you go to a department, there's different departments like a departmentalized store. Okay. So now back to Dorinda and Kelly. Dorinda's like, wow, you know what? How recently had you been divorced when you came on the show? She's like, recently. Yeah, you know what?

Well, that makes a very big difference. You know what I mean? Have you seen any red balloons in this house by any chance? Kelly starts saying how, when she was on the show, her kids were young, she'd just gotten through a divorce. She was in financial stress. She was in a bad place and she goes, I love being grounded. Like I love to wear high heels and I love to have like my feet on the ground,

specifically fifth Avenue in my jogging shoes. And I feel like I was just like wobbling all over the place. Fucking Kelly. I like to be grounded, but I also like to wear high heels, which are on the ground, Kelly. For fuck's sake, man. Kelly. Kelly, whose entire season, yeah. Kelly's whole season was like about

going to Hampton's parties and like making sure she went to parties that did not involve Bethany. And like her whole thing has been that she's always hobnobbed with like the rich and the elite. I just like to be grounded. I just need to be grounded. I'm just so grounded. Episode one of Girls Trip is like season one

for other Housewives shows where everybody is just giving you who they want you to think they are. And then by season six, which is like season four on Real Housewives, you really see the crazy shining through. They're just all nuts by this point. Right. Or season seven for the Roni reboot. So then Kelly is like, she's like, no, I'm not so strong. I just, I just, I have to be

and during it was like, I can get pretty strong. No, I'm the opposite. Like I'm good in business. Like I'm really good at taking photos of myself and other people's homes, but like maybe I gravitate towards women who are supportive and strong because it gives me strength through a through a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a

a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a I understand you so well now. You know, the vulnerability, it really humanized her. Because before I was gonna tell her, you know what? I don't want to pinch the cheek of a rat. But now she's more of a human kind of a person. Stop looking at me.

Dorinda, where the camera? We have to look at you, Dor. Okay, kick it back, kick it back. Can I have the some dinner time? Jesus. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived.

We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Zifrin. And we're the hosts of Wondry's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light, as women who used the tools available to them

to hold onto power. Some women won the game, others lost, but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head.

Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more to the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black History for Real. My name is Georgia King, and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondery+, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink, and listen to will all be up to my very special guests.

We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip around Disneyland. We'll eat a bowl of life-changing pasta with Jimmy O'Yang in Tuscany, Italy. And how do you feel about a spot of sugaring off with Emily Hampshire in Montreal? And Away We Go will immerse you in some of the wonders of the world.

We're gonna be seeing some yellows and vibrant oranges. And the shoes clicking against the cobblestone. If you're looking to get somebody in the mood, have them look at the Chicago skyline. You can listen to And Away We Go exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the W. Have a look at the Chicago skyline. You can listen to and away we go exclusively with Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Georgia, do you know what joy sounds like? I think I'm hearing it right now.

So now Ramona is saying goodbye to her glam squad. And by squad, it's one lady and just thank you very much. And to show America that I'm good to servants. Let me pretend to talk to you like I care. Hey, how do you say your name again? Is it Julienne? Julienne, because it's written as Julienne, but it's pronounced a different way.

Can you say it again? She goes, Elienne, alien. Oh, are you an alien? Are you an illegal alien? I'm OK with that. Sanctuary cities are very popular with liberals, which is what I am now. Whoa, I love aliens.

And I love you, alien. She's like, no, Elienne. Elian, Elian, Elan, Loon, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, your name is Aloha. Goodbye, Aloha. What? Here's the problem. Your name's not spelled like it sounds, so it's really confusing to people.

So just a suggestion, maybe you should like call whoever gave you that name and tell them, stupid, pick a different name, spell properly. That's what happens with sanctuary cities, okay? People just don't pray enough, so I'm trying to say it. We thought your name was Julian like Julian Vegetables. Oh, your name's Vegetable? Wow, that's much easier for me to say.

Okay, Vegetable, thank you so much for what you did to my hair. It looks beautiful. I don't see color and I'll see you tomorrow. Unless you're a carrot, in which case you're orange. Okay, vegetable, bye. I can see that one. I can see that one. I can see that one.

It's the only one I can see. What? So, now it's nighttime and now Sonya's just shit face. Like, Sonya did something to where now she's just loopy Sonya. Sonya went to the bathroom and came back like, wow, she said, where underwear? Here's my vagina. And we're like, whoa, just so you crotch, Sonya. Chief. She like, I just wanted to remind you who I am. I am who I am. She's like, I just wanted to remind you who I am. I am who I am. And the man comes walking out,

she's like, hello, hello, wow, hot stuff, everyone. We're gonna get picked up tonight, right after I tell my story, the Paluan and the Pirate at 8.50 p.m. East Coast, 5.50 p.m. West Coast. Tune in. So then Ramona and Kelly sit at the table and compliment each other's boobs. And, um, Sonia is like, Oh, you know what Ramona does?

She uses the boob tape. So it takes the skin from under your armpit and it puts it inside your bar. See, look at mine. It doesn't have that. Look Ramona's it's in there. It's really kind of an amazing thing. Yeah. Well, you know what? I put it in there as well as, you know, because I need to make my breasts look supple and large just in case my ex-husband Mario decides he wants to fall in love with me again. Which is actually impossible because he's already in love with me again.

Sorry, I'm sorry Mario, but I'm single and ready to mingle with my new breast meat under my arm, okay? So the waiter comes and he's like, "'Bonsoir, I'm Quentin." And Luan's like, "'Like Tarantino?' "'With happy food fetish, not judging, just saying.'" You know, I don't know if you know this, but there's a very famous story,

Luan and the Pirate, which we do have a call in to Quentin Tarantino's office about a film adaptation. So everyone just stay tuned on that front. Nine, eight 55 is when it looks like we'll be starting the show. Eight 55. Oh, you retired. You say, I see. Oh, really? That's what we're calling it now. Fucking Quentin Tarantino was very musical. I'll tell you, pulp fiction, how about some, how about some pulp-free nonfiction? Luan and the Pirate coming up on NBC.

So, suddenly tries to hit on the waiter. It does not work. It's sad. And then Luan's like. And then, uh, this is Lou Ann's like, all right, ladies, isn't this amazing? Here we are us. We, we are here. And by we, I mean all of you plus me, me. And I also mean yes in French, which is the language I speak.

And that's what I can't even take because there's no bathroom in my room. So I need to complain about that. It is what it is. We is also the amount of time that Kristin was on TV and also pop culture radar. It's a wee amount of time. By the way, notice that Luanne ordered a Sancerre. She's like, well, you know, I've decided that I can, I've got to a good place with drinking. It's pretty much the same place. So now I just drink on occasion and I would say this is a good, this is an occasion. Ha ha ha ha. So yeah, there she goes.

Listen, why, if you're not going to keep your job anyway, why the fuck go through all that? You know what I mean? I will never forget when she was like, look at me sober, would you like a drink? And she opened her fridge and it was just floor to ceiling bottles of rosé. But then we found out later it was probably frosé. But I just never will forget that image of Luanne just being

like, would anybody like a drink? And it just being a whole fridge full of rosé. Oh, it wasn't frosé, it's called fozé, right? The famous thing. Fozé, fozé. Do you think that was, it was that back then or was it real rosé? Because I said it and I was like, well, was that her fozé?

But I don't think she had that at the time, did she? Yeah, no, I think that was at the time when she, I think that was, if I remember correctly, in her timeline, that was when she was like, I'm sober and I can be around alcohol and it won't be a problem. Oh, okay. So I don't remember if it was Pickerman. I got myself caught in a quandary there, okay?

Don't know, anybody know? Let me know. So then Luanne is like, so how long have, guys, here we are again. How long have we been doing this? And Ramona's like, well, you know what? My daughter was 11 when we started filming and now she's like 74.

I mean, personality wise. I'm still 11, age, looking, face wise. Yeah, poor Avery. It's like she got all my age. Yeah, unfortunately, like, you know what? For me, I continue to use Ageless by Ramona because I'm ageless, and unfortunately, my daughter decided to use her own skincare called Aged,

and unfortunately, it just didn't work out as well for her. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's got a skin don't care line, and it's called Aged Plus. It's called Aged PO Plus. She needs to get extra age, okay? You know what?

Sign up for Avery's Patreon and you'll just be older. You know what? You know what Avery? I'm so proud of her. When she got her GED, I was never more proud. Well, I thought she graduated from high school. No, she just added GED to age and she became a GED. I was so proud of her.

She didn't even have to study. It's not so smart. It just came naturally for her to look older than me. It was looking at Carol Raddwell auditioning for the California Raisins, but in Avery form. Okay. So or just as they call it in Avery's French group, California. So the Calip it makes me a reason that

so Lou Ann's like wow, who would have thought who would have who would have thought it would have lasted everyone goes Whoa, no what no one had a run like we did. And Sonia says well, I'm on it and Sonia says, well, I'm on OnlyFans. Thanks for ruining it, bitch. Thanks for ruining it, bitch. Yeah. Well, there goes another intro. All right.

So Sonia's like, well, I'm on OnlyFans, so things have pretty much gone downhill for me. I mean, Dorinda's on there too, but she doesn't show anything. Yeah, well, I'm's on there too, but she doesn't show anything. Yeah, well, I'm not on OnlyFans. Listen, I did a promo for them because I thought I'd get a ceiling fan out of it. I did one cooking video and someone said, show me your tits. And I said, I don't make crits. They said no tits. And I said, what kind of shit is this? He's stupid. Stop taking a slut like Kristin would be on.

I will never forget when Dorinda signed up to OnlyFans. I fucking died. And I ended up getting addicted to cooking videos. I didn't sign up to OnlyFans, but she did a bunch. I don't know if she still does them, but she does them on YouTube and they're so funny. She'll be like, okay, here's my family recipe for potato latkes. I'm just bringing that up because I'll be on everybody, Ben. That's for you. Okay, so I'm making some potato-

Thank you, Vance. You shab she's sharing it's just her doing the thing and she'll go ten minutes just blah blah blah and yeah can you say they finally shredded a potato and yeah here's the end product the potato like and then it just cuts off the flash of a lotke and then it goes to black. It's like, lady, I just saw you for 10 goddamn minutes. Well, that was like the time that Ramona did like a multi-story, Instagram story arc about making some sort of like cinnamon oatmeal cookies. And she's like, whoa, one of my favorite things are cookies, okay? Here comes my next story.

Well, it's important to use butter. So here I put butter and oatmeal. And here I am, I'm adding flour. It goes on and on, so granular. And she puts the things in the oven and that's it. You just never see them. The cookies don't even come out. We see no cookies. So it's just like a real house on some New York thing.

That shit is funny. So she's like, yeah, with nine OnlyFans, whatever funny. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, wouldn't I? And OnlyFans, whatever, showing ya. And everyone's like, well, you know what? It reads on something like that, but it's called OldlyFans. Shh. OldlyFans.

Oh God. You know, like I had someone ask tits, whatever. I only had a guy ask for my feet. That's worse, that's weirder. Tits are normal. So Kelly goes, um, okay I don't only fans. Is that I was I thought was called only Kristen's anyway Ramona, how have you been feeling about having everyone back together and she's like, you know, I'm really loving it Like I see I know I see to render in the way on a lot Sonya. I know well

I think it's great that my dry cleaner is here. Hello, dry cleaner. Um, I'm literally a cast member. You and I, you know what? Sonia, I know well. You and I run into each other and now we're connecting. You know, that person over there, I haven't seen her in years. And Kristen's like, but you have. You have seen me in years, Ramona.

I says, no, I mean, what? When was the last time? COVID. She goes, last summer, Ramona. Where? The Hamptons. I don't? When was the last time? Covid. She goes last summer Ramona. Where? The Hamptons. I don't go to the bookshelves. The Hamptons Ramona. I know you remember Ramona. Nope. She's like I don't. I'm not familiar. No I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't even know who you are. And Kristen's like um I was hosting an event in the Hamptons. You were invited. You came. I did? No, she didn't have a party. How could she have a party with someone like this?

No one would even show up. Look at her. She's so annoying. I'm sorry. Sorry. No one would ever come. We took pictures, Ramona. She's just... No. And then she tells for the production. She's like, I went? No, I didn't. We didn't have a party. I never saw in the Hamptons. No." And then they put up a picture, picture of summer of 2022, Ramona smiling with Kristen. My gosh. AC And when was this filmed? Was this filmed like six months ago? So this is the one this was filmed even closer to last one. So Sonia's like, oh, Ramona never remembers running into people. And we see like a flashback of Ramona forgetting everyone's names and Chris goes, that's okay, okay. All right, Luan, I'm looking, it's 9.05 PM. You're running a little bit behind. I think it's time for your story, Luan. Oh,

me a story? I nearly forgot that I had a story. Listen, it's nothing of rehearsed or even said very much. Picture it! St. Barthes, 2013. The moon was out, the light cloud cover, there was a chill in the air, but a tingle in the loins. Donka St, darling, Donka St. Oh, just get to the story, Leigh Ann, the story. Okay, well, I was with friends. These girls wanted to go home, so they went home and I had friends at this restaurant and they were just ten friends from

St. Bart's and I was like, well, I want to still hang out with you because, you know, we film all day. We work hard, am I right, lady? That wasn't a question for you, everyone stop answering. All right. So, um, then we see a clip of pirate guy in the restaurant that night telling one of her friends with a blurred out face, Oh, you must make a special Barrett's introduction to Lady with Camera on her, hm? You know, at a certain point, my friends leave, you guys were all gone, cause you're all lame-os, and you know Heather Thompson was texting me, could you believe it? The only one who cared about me was Heather Thompson?

Ha, well so Heather and Radzowil were at the house, and I was like, hey Thomas, why don't you come back to the house? And now I will throw the commercial peacock. No? Okay, well I'll keep going. So what happened was this guy... CB. I'm drinking water, sorry. Go ahead. AC. I know. It actually would have been a good time for a commercial break. Anyway, so this guy drove us back and told all the girls I was coming back with a guy. Well, and oh, you know what, I think I seem to remember that I dropped the bomb. Okay, sort of like the bomb that I just dropped that Avery looks 20 years older than me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't explain. No one drops the bomb like me. Go watch this." So, uh, Luan's like, well...

LLOYD LAUGHS We see a clip of Ramona going, Whoa! Who was the guy you brought home last night? So, Lu's like, and I was like, Oh my God, I'm caught. My little white lie was, Tell him you're not here last night. And that was just more to save Jacques' feelings instead of myself. So, the time, you remember everybody,

that time I ran into the kitchen and that was the only time I ever got caught in a hot mic in my entire time I was on this show. I mean, I'm on the mic a lot now, but they refer to it as a dead mic, a cold mic, or a begging for its life mic these days. Anyway, this is the part of the story of written a musical number so three two one hot mic hot mic have you ever been on a hot mic it's a very chic mic with the microphone plays and you sing into it and people hear you thank you so then we see a clip of her on the phone telling her friend in French, Oh, you must

tell her not to tell them. You must tell her to tell the pirate to lie about being here. Jacques cannot know the truth. And so it cuts back and I'm like, because she has a certain kind of rash. Ramona has like the pigeons being pelted by tiny stones laugh laugh, but, or seagulls rather, but then Luanne has the like, like that's like a Lisa Barlow. I don't know how to explain it.

It's like a throaty, like, like static on old school late night TVs when it just turns off and just the static turns on when all the programming is over. You know when your rabbit ears aren't connecting to the network television? So she laughs. That's like a Geiger meter.

Yes. And uh, and Sonya's like, well, I didn't even know all that was going on. Yes, she didn't. He comes back the next night and hooks up with Sonya. Oh yes. So like, I didn't even sleep with the pirate. She did, isn't that hilarious? But still nobody believes.

And it's funny because the pirate, Tamat, did an interview with somebody, and I'm still sorry I don't remember the name of your show because it was a long time ago. I just saw this clip a long time ago. And it's more recent of a clip. Did you remember what it was? It's called Pirate So Hard.

It's a spinoff. I arg so hard. And they were asking him, did you really- Arg save America. What is it? Arg save America. Patch Adams. Actually, that was a very sad one.

Anyway, moving on. So they ask him if he actually slept with Luan. He's like, no, no, of course not. I never did. I'm happily married now. And also, I think that Luan has been dating Jacques recently. There have been pictures of her with Jacques. So maybe they're both still protecting themselves.

But it's funny, after all these years, and all of this, Luanne pretending like she's like, Oh, yes, I love to just flirt with everybody and have sex with everybody. She's still trying to say that she did not bang the pirate. Come on now. I don't know. I think that she would at this point based on the way that she was basically throwing herself at randos and crappy lake. At this point, I think the way that she was basically throwing herself at randos and crappy lake. At this point, I think she'd be really, I mean, she's already like, well, I tried for the gas attendant around the corner of the strange tea cafe and crappy lake. So that didn't work out. So, you know, like, like I think at this point, she would be bragging

about the pirate. Well, I think she lied to Jacques and she still likes Jacques, whether she like loves loves Jacques, I don't know, but I think they're still friends. She's committed to it. You know, she's committed. Like you just, she doesn't want to like, that's one thing that she's committed to. Well, she's committed to a lot of things, I guess. I think Dorinda said it best, which was, I think there was some nakedness involved.

I think the guy went to be, he went to see and she went to to be and there was a tale of a lion don't push the lion it's a bear and you know I just don't think it was something you see at playtime at PS1. And Sonya goes wait a minute you told me that you did sleep with the pirate but you didn't want Jacques to know. She's like never I never said that Sonya never. But you I mean, we swatched semen with the same guy you said. You said it. She goes, oh, Sonya. And I go, oh my god, she never said that. Sonya, I never said that.

Those words would never come from my mouth. Swapping semen? I would never say swapping semen. Swapping semen. I mean, she just accused me of saying swapping semen. Hold on, let me just record that into my no technically a pirate audio notes swapping semen All right, got it. Go ahead

They play the clips are like aha Lewin's gonna be busted, but the clip is just Sonja saying Oh, you know we almost had a menage a trois with that pirate I mean his semen my semen your semen all the semen semen semen semen I even got a couch at semen's furniture so much semen and your semen, all the semen, semen, semen, semen. I even got a couch at semen's furniture. So much semen. And LeMank goes, ugh, disgusting. And she closes the door and sewed his face. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. I'm Dan Tbersky. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't.

A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well, you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since The Witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely?

Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Hi, everyone. So the craziest thing just happened in the middle of our recap that we didn't realize that we were scheduled to do a guest spot on a different podcast. So we literally stopped everything. And the reason why I'm mentioning this is because people on audio don't have to know

this, but people who are watching on video are going to be like, why did the lighting change so drastically on your video? It's because we stopped the recap and then we went and did the Bravo Wear Black podcast, which will be coming up soon. Everyone, everyone keeping your eye out for that. Yeah, love them. And of course I wrote the times down wrong. So we ended up showing late because we're on different time zones.

Oh, then guess what? You haven't been five for eight years. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So where we left off, I believe I was saying while you were looking down at your phone horrified that you realized we were supposed to be on a different podcast. I was in the middle of saying like, you know what Luanne, there is my semen and your semen and his semen and their semen and semen everywhere. That's where we left off as me saying semen 10 times in a row.

everywhere. That's where we left off, is me saying semen 10 times in a row. We're swapping semen. Yeah, who says swapping semen anymore, am I right? I need you to check your earwax, okay? You have an earwax. You've probably got semen wax in your ear. Listening to the way you talk about semen, you probably, your ear is probably guzzling it by the gallonful, Sonja. It's probably true. So Sonja's like, listen, Dorinda doesnzzling it by the gallon full, Sonya. It's probably true. So Sonya's like, listen, Dorinda doesn't remember saying it. She was on OnlyFans first, but you know, everyone here seems to have a short memory just saying, and Dorinda's like, no, I think that you've got

a creative memory, okay? Hey, hey, Kelly, by the way, you like your food? You like your food, is it good? You like your abacus? So they're back to eating. Everything's like nice and happy. And Kristen's like, Dorinda though is just so creepy. Like, listen, Dorinda is very funny. She's great on the show. I feel bad calling her creepy. I don't know why. We met her one time and I'm like, oh no,

what if I see Dorinda and she knows? She was wonderful when we met her. She ain't going to listen to this shit. Yeah. still, Dorinda's creepy as fuck to sit next to. This is how Dorinda turns to Kelly at dinner, because Kelly and her had that good scene about 10 minutes ago. She just turns, and this is Kelly's face, okay, my fist, which is also huge. She goes like this.

Hey, how's your dinner? Could you not be one inch from my face, lady? What the fuck? She's like cross-eyed and waisty, like, hey, hey, you like your feet, would you like that? Vulnerable. Hey, is your steak vulnerable? Told you, you like that steak, medium. You know what, don't pull the cow of it.

Don't pull the cow of a tail. And don't pull the tail of a cow either. You know what, if you do that, the cow's gonna be mad. This steak's gonna be tough, all right, my little vulnerable steak? You know, they call this cut the Christian cut because it's been aged eight years. Kelly's like, yeah, my dinner is good

and now your dinner's on my face. So, Kristen's like, um. So Dorinda. Are we good? Go ahead, Dan. Are we good? About what? Right, what are you talking about about what about before

Before right before what before before Christ BC when you were when you when you were not fired. That's that's when Before Christ everyone was fired Sonia's like cuz you were fired Girls, I'm not gonna go there. I'm not gonna go there. Yeah, well, that's pretty mad of you You never might why don't you tell me how the burrata is? We're not talking about the burrata Ramona Yeah, we're still talking about being on pause and being fired. Everyone's like, oh my god, really? Why are we doing this again? Nobody even knows that girl. Who is that girl? Why is she eating steak? That's probably one of our steaks.

Hey, waitress, please stop eating our food, okay? It's very disrespectful. I know people do things in different ways. One thing that I've learned since Ebony K. Williams is people do things in different ways. And you know what? Maybe on this island, the waitresses sit at your table and eat with you. But that's not what I'm used to. So I wish this waitress would just leave me right now. It's like, um, I'm your cast member, Ramona, I'm not the waitress. And Luan's like, I just wish she didn't fan the flames.

I mean, Kristen, she just keeps pushing the button. Pause, unpause, pause, um, it's the same button, okay? She's like, oh, listen, you know, after, Sonia says, after eight years of not being on television, I wouldn't fuck with Dorinda. I mean, that's really rough. You need more recent experience to fuck with Dorinda. What is the- I love how the eight years of not being on television disqualifies you from like having, like confronting Dorinda about something. So Dorinda's like,

You know what? You can't be rusty and confront Dorinda. No, I'm not interested. Okay. It's so dull. This is a non story story. Okay. What do you want me to say? I'll say it so we can make it go away. Give me what you need me to say. I'll say it verbatim and we can make it go away. What do you want me to say? Christian? I just want you to, where's this coming from? Like, where's this coming from? I just don't know. I really don't like what, what, where it's coming from.

What, what, where's it coming from? I'm just asking you for good. I'm just asking you for good. Are we't like what? What? Where it's coming from? I just don't get it. I'm just asking if we're good. I'm just asking if we're good. Are we good? Are we good? Dorinda, are we good? Oh my God, this moment's so good. I'm gonna write the time code down for this moment.

Cause this is gonna be the greatest moment. This is gonna be the greatest moment. Oh, so are we repeating now? So we're repeating now? Oh, okay, Dorinda. Okay, we're good, Dorinda. Yeah, we're good, Dorinda. Yeah, we're good, Dorinda.

So good. That was good. Hey, Dorinda, do you remember that time when you were on Housewives and you were repeating everything I said? That was hilarious. Hey, Dorinda, do you remember that time when you were on Housewives

and you were repeating everything I said? That was hilarious. Okay, I got you. Okay. All right, I got you now. Okay, I got you. Okay, I got you. Good, then cheers.

Cheers, cheers, cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. So Kelly's like, um, I think what happened is Kristen has been watching all the past episodes because she's like, I mean, listen, she is, she's like the Google of housewives guys. Okay. So like, listen, you do, right? Like, you know, you know everything about all the seasons, right? Kristen Kristen's like, um, I just kind of know it. And then it's like 15 minutes earlier. So what were your favorite trips? Was it season seven when you stayed at the, um, best Western by Windham Hills or whatever, or was it season eight when you were in an Airbnb?

Was it season nine when it was at Cartagena? That was Cartagena. I think I think you went to the stall that was called Esposito Farms. Is that correct? I'm just trying to remember. I remember when we went to a tequila factory. Oh, the one that Bethany got really mad and tried not to let Ramona come through and then Ramona had to cover her face with the towel. I mean, that was really a classic episode. Good job. I mean, gay tequila. Am I right? That was on the same road as the Casamigos Tequila refinery, right? Okay. So she like, so yeah, she's like coming up with all these little fun facts from it and lose like, oh, and then there's a time we went to London. Oh my God, that was the season before me.

That was great. Didn't Luanne stay in a hotel because she got mad that she didn't get the room that she wanted. So she wouldn't say, oh my God, you guys, that was so good. How come you guys didn't mention Montana? No one liked that trip when we did some GPS geocaching? No one? No one? And they're like, no. So I was like, you know what?

It's just like weird. It's just like weird that like someone's like researching us. I mean, what is that? It's like, it's just weird. This classic Kelly, Ben Simone. Cool girl being like, you're a weird nerd. So, I'm just like saying you have like an incredible wealth of knowledge, maybe not of money. And every episode that you were not on.

And Kristen's like, but Kelly, a lot of people know this stuff. Like, let's be clear, a lot of people know. She's like, yeah, those are fans. And from what it goes You know what? We're an iconic show Kelly We are pop icon dumb or pop and Kristen's like, what are you calling me a fan? She's well, you are a fan I mean you are at my right guys Google Google of Google of TV shows. She's a fan my right weird weird

weird She's a fan. Am I right? Weird. Weird. She's like, um, Chris, Kelly's intention of calling me a fan was like her way of trying to include herself in the conversation. And then Kelly's like, yeah, in season four, episode two, you did this. What were your thoughts? Like what? It's like throwing you off and like make me feel like I don't want to hang out with her and I can't be thrown off because I need to keep my feet on the ground. I'm very grounded. So Kelly's like, you know what? Like, I don't know anything about you. Like, I can't be thrown off because I need to keep my feet on the ground. I'm very grounded. So Kelly's like, you know what? Like, I don't know anything about you. Like, I don't know what your narrative is.

You know, like here's what I know, weird, okay? I like you have two children or something like that, weird and weirdo, like weirdo and weirdo-er or something. And Kristen's like, I'm not saying, like, listen, I'm just saying like, maybe it would be a help to you if you did some research about something once in a while. Maybe then you'd know who I am.

Kelly goes, no, because that's not authentic. Okay, I don't wanna be like that. I think that's like one thing that made me outstanding for the short time I was on the show. I was a very real and always present. That is what made you outstanding. I love that Kelly for one second. I love that Kelly for one second.

I mean, they cannot even keep these facades up for two minutes with Kelly coming in. Like you guys, I'm just like such a vulnerable person. Like I'm just like such a real down to earth. You know what I love being grounded in high heels, but like on the ground, like if high heels were on the ground, that's what I'd be. And then the next second she's like, that's what makes me like the most amazing housewife.

It's like I don't- That was outstanding. Carrie, what? That's, she's literally doing the Faye Dunaway thing. You ever hear that voicemail where Faye Dunaway like yells at the New York Times reporter about the profile or something like that? She's like, now why didn't you mention me in,

in the two Jakes? I was fantastic in that movie. I mean, I did a wonderful job. Jack even called me up later and said, you were absolutely wonderful in that movie. I mean, I did a wonderful job. Jack even called me up later and said, you were absolutely wonderful in that job. I mean, I was outstanding in that one. It's a worthless thing. Sounds like Faye.

Yeah, if anyone's ever looked at Faye's runaway voicemails. Oh my God, there's so many good ones. Have you, is there a recording of the Patti LuPone one where she's like, where she got fired from Sunset Boulevard and she called and told off Andrew Lloyd Webber? I've had, I don't know. Someone told me about that once and I want to hear it so bad. I hear it in my head, but I think it's just because I'm delusional. I make things up. Like, how dare you? How could you do this to me? I'm everything. I'm everything with that job, Andy. I mean, sorry, Andrew Lloyd Webber, different Andy.

Let's get back to the show. None of that's here nor there. Ain't nobody here but us chickens. Ain't nobody here but us. Go ahead Ben, take it away. Take it away. I just got distracted because I found a transcript of a fair ton of ways.

This is some of her voicemails. She says, you know, you could put in some footage in of the Christopher Reeves movie, which I was brilliant in, and it was not well sold in this country. And you can talk about the Marlon Brando film that I was wonderful in and all the positive things that along with that period,

that Marlon Brando film was going on at the same time. And that Andrew Lloyd Webber stupidity was going on. and you haven't even talked about that for Christ's sake. Anyway the point is we love our divas. Oh yeah, you gotta love them. I'm outstanding. That's the point. That's what I mean. I'm standing standing housewife.

So Kelly is like, yeah, you know what? Like, I don't research because that makes people inauthentic. So I'm an authentic person and I don't research things, okay? And she tells us, like, for me, it's like important to be real because like, I'm already fake, like here, my head, like here are my boobs. So I mean, come on guys, that was really authentic of me. That was actually an outstanding joke.

I think that's the sort of joke that only an outstanding cast member can make after several years being off the show. So Sonia's like, I mean, talk to someone who is really real. I mean, because like I will fart on your leg if I love you, okay? And Kelly, you are not real in present. Sonia, that's just gross.

Okay, there's a difference between being real and just being a drunk pooping everywhere and like farting on people's legs. Okay, There's a difference between being real and just being a drunk pooping everywhere and like farting on people's things. Okay. Be less real. Be faker. Be real. So Kristin tells us, like, maybe you were too real and it was not interesting enough to have you stick around. I was like, I don't know. I don't feel like Kristin's in any position to say those sort of things given that she laughed two seasons. Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, Kelly was pretty iconic. People can say a lot about

her, but it's not that she was boring and that's why she got kicked off the show. People remember her. So Kristen, she's like, it's not like I'm just sitting at home researching. It's just, yeah, but you definitely did your homework. And you know who does that? Weird people. Like who does that? Who does their homework? Like I don't do that.

It's so inauthentic. Well, I have like a friend that was on, it was on episode that like Dorinda was on and she's talking about, of course, Brandy Glanville. And Dorinda goes, oh yeah. Ramona, who's the friend? Who? Who? Brandy. Who was it?

Who? Glanville. Who? What? You know what? I'm so glad I was worried this waitress who decided to eat dinner with us didn't have any friends, but she does. Who? Who? Who was it? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? It's Brandy. Oh, hi Brandy, nice to meet you. No, I'm Kristen. I literally just said who my friend was and you'd already replaced the first version you thought I was with Brandy.

I don't know who Kristen. I'm right here. Where? Where's Brandy? Where did Brandy go? So, doing just like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Brandy. She was on the show and she said, you weren't on pause, you were fired. And I yeah, yeah, yeah, Brandy. She was on the show and she said, you weren't on pause, you were fired.

And I said, well, actually, no. Andy said to me on his radio show, which I was invited to, how many radio shows have you been on to, Kristin? None. Okay. Well, Andy said on his radio show that we're going to put you on pause. So, sorry.

Kristin's like, the only reason I even watch that show is because I have a friend who's on it. Ben, you're a fan. Okay, you know what? You win. You win. You know what we should all do?

We should all cheers to Kristen. You know why? Because Kristen, you're right. Everybody give a cheers to Kristen. Cheers to Kristen. When is she going to actually join us here at this table? So Kristen's like, why are you getting so upset? I'm not upset. Is she, is she not upset girls? I thought it was done. Now Kristen is doing like a gas

sidey thing here where she just keeps pushing to remember and then being like, what? And then she says the only reason why she watched Girlstrip is because Brandi was on it. It's like, no, because you clearly watched the other housewives, which I don't think there's any shame in that. But then don't start acting like you, oh, you were so busy momming so hard that you just took some time out to support your friend on Girlstrip. Right. So the man's like, oh, this has given me she's starting vibes, Cartagena vibes, which is funny because they're always trying to remember that time they were right about that fight that was like 90 years ago, you know? So then we see the clip of Dorinda drunk in Cartagena being like, you know what? You want to talk to me about it? At least I don't got a mug shot

about it. You know, doesn't have mug shots. Rabbits with tails wouldn't make it to your useful. That's who don't pull the rabbit tears bitch Kristen has no idea that she's rattled the cage which apparently has a Rabbit a bear a lion a lizard a pigeon And some other sort of vague four-legged animal in it Your pellet pooped bitch. Okay, get out of my memory now, Dorinda. You're not invited in, alright, you vampire? Why are you so obsessed with me? Girl, I wanna know.

Why are you talking about this? Like, pick it up, you know what? Pick it up tomorrow at breakfast. I'll be a little bit more rested and a little bit more willing to entertain this bullshit, Kristen. And Kelly's like, Kristen asked a stupid question and she's definitely going to get a stupid answer. I mean, are we good? People mourn me about this,

Dorinda and I love it. Okay. If this is what I'm being warned about, I love it. I don't think, by the way, I don't think asking, are we getting a stupid question? I think she's just trying to be like, Hey, like, like are we good? Like after everything that happened today. No, but Kelly has come in, she's picked Dorinda as her fighter. She knows being around these ladies, it's a no-win battle.

Once she tries to go up against them all, she can't do that. So she needs a fighter on her side and the fighter has entered the building. Unfortunately, this is a very unreliable fighter and it can come back on you at any moment. So good luck. Good luck with that weapon.

And so what Bethany was in Kristen's shoes on season two of Housewives. Bethany was like the single one who was just sort of scrappy living in a small apartment at that time. Everyone else was married or, you know, Kelly was living this fabulous life in the Hamptons with like the, all these people she met through Julien Simone and all that. And Bethany was just like this, this, like the, she was like the unpopular kid at school in some ways. And Kelly was like, gross, like you're just weird. You're weird to me.

So this is like a habit for Kelly. Yeah. You know, that's tricks. It's tricks, tricks for the kids. So Kristen's like, Dorinda, none of this is that huge. I don't even know why you're upset. I mean, pause. And Dorinda's like, oh, stop it, stop it.

Do you mean pause, Dorinda? I mean, I just don't know why you're so upset. Why don't you just pause it? Are you sure you wanna stop? You better shut the fuck up. You better shut the fuck up. You better not try and unspotted giraffe. All right, you bitch. And so she goes, Oh, so when when was your favorite time? And what was your favorite moment, Kristen, in the eight years that you've been off the show? Huh? What is that? Because what you said about me

is so D U L L. Okay, so do you want me to respond? Listen, here's my response. Eagles don't fly with pigeons. Chris is like, could somebody back me up? Eagles don't fly with pigeons. So get your bread crumbs and get back to me tomorrow. Okay. Cause guess what? Luan's not the only one who can promote the next story time. So Ramona is like, whoa, you know what? That is so good. I need to write that one down. Eagles don't fly with branches. Eagles Eagles on pigeons fly nowhere together.

Okay, get your breadcrumbs because there's an eagle coming in. So pigeons not allowed. Is that what she said? You just want to Google it, okay? What'd you say? Pigeons, eagles, bread, oh look, it just came up with a picture of Avery. She's very old.

All right everybody, look. Look, there's an eagle that's not even willing to eat bread from Avery because it's so scared by her old age looks. Whoa! Whoa, you know what? A pigeon one time landed on every and it got very scared cuz thought landed on scarecrow okay never seen a pigeon run

so fast whoa this Eagles really scary and it's holding a ring and hunching over it oh it says smegle whoa that's crazyinda's like, you know what? I don't even know what it was. Cause Sonya's trying to Google it now too. She's, I don't even know what I said. I never know. They just get mad at me. And guess what?

TM trademark, bitch. How many trademarks do you have? Do they even have trademarks eight years ago when you got fired? And Sonya's also trying to look it up. She goes, okay, what was it again? Pigeons don't fly with, wait, what was it? If you lie with dogs, you get crumbs. And Luan's like, please, if you lie with dogs,

you get fleas, trust me. After one night with Tomas, you learn this the hard way. And Dorin is like, stop, just stop it. And she goes, oh, you know what? Pigeons don't fly with dabs, I think that's it. And Dorin's like, who are they very sally here? stop, just stop it. She goes, oh, you know what? Pitch and stone fly with dabs. I think that's it. And during the really very sad year, we just cut from this wacky sitcom. But kind of also an amazing way to end the episode because it's like a fight about, they're fighting about their time on the show, which is very meta. And it's like such a,

it's like, gets back to, I feel like the first, the first season of house of, of girls' trip, where they were sort of dealing with what it's like to be on the show and like here. And it's also combining the second season about being exes on the show X house wives. And here they're like meditating and fighting over like, what does it mean to like no longer be on the show? What are like, what can you brag about? What can you not brag about? Like fan, not fan, all this very, very meta stuff. And then Dorinda says something and then they stop.

Everyone just stops because they're like, Oh my God, this is like a saying, this could be a moment. This could be an internet moment. Like this is, this could be a relevant moment for us. All of us fired people. We have a moment of relevancy and like who can be first to get it onto a T shirt. It's like kind of brilliant TV. Oh gosh. Well that is Dorinda, you know, she's like, she trademarks every, she trademarks all of her stuff and like gets it, which, you know, as you should,

but remember there, once she started doing that, she would just always try to come up with some new phrase. And that's just why she's doing it. She's still trying to do it. It's like, they're not necessarily coming natural. So she's just it. She's still trying to do it. It's like they're not necessarily coming natural. So she's just flirting out whatever, you know, why don't give presents to a present because you know why? Presents don't have arms and they can't open presents. So then you're just wasting a present. You know what I'm saying? So you better go back to you. You better go back to your playpen.

You got damn cow of a little girl. All right, this is how it goes. What? It's like, how's that gonna fit on a coffee cup? Smell of thunk. You make the font as large as Kristin's time on The Housewives, okay? Very, very, very small. So, that was fun. All right, everybody,

that brings us to the end of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Come back. There'll be more. We don't know how much if it's every episode, if it's going to be some of the episodes, if we're going to do it sometimes, if we're going to do it. We don't know. Bravo's really loading it up. They're loading up these potatoes. Our schedule is really packed right now, but our plan is to release more recaps of this show during Christmas week. We're going to pre-record them and get them out then. So, you know, just have some patience with us

in terms of getting those recaps up. We will have them. We love, you know, we love making fun of these ladies. So thanks for listening and we'll catch you in the next episode. Bye everybody. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank

its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Hitchells. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickle-less. She's never scary, it's the green fairy.

Jamie, she has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Curr. She's the wind beneath our Jennifer Wing. Zip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't

have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadly. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang, the incredible edible Matthew sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shinin' out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She's quite the catch. It's Victoria Kochet.

She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad- right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Welcome to the Offensive Line.

You guys, on this podcast, we're gonna make some picks, talk some and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's gonna work, okay? We're gonna run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like, no offense.

No offense, Travis Kelcey, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably

bitter. Is it Brandon Iuke, T Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.