Watch What Crappens - #2515 RHONJ S14E14: The Long Blink Goodnight

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

The Real Housewives of New Jersey substitutes a real reunion with a special featuring two teams of crazy people in terrible outfits talking about how much they hate each other in separate banquet rooms at a tacky restaurant with a train in the back. What more could you ask for? For video recaps and all of our bonus episodes, join us at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Bras. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

Good. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. Great. I'm so excited. What a fun day. Great to have you here. Great to have you here. Yeah, I'm feeling wonderful, feeling wonderful. Our New Jersey season has officially come to an end. Wow.

Well, not for us. We've got a big old Jersey day ahead of us, guys. We have this recap of the final episode that they've done. And then we think that we have a leak on its way of a reunion that they taped but didn't air, but we're not sure. We will get back to you guys later. But we have found one of these bloggers that has been working with Teresa and Jen. Their name is Melissa's old ass crack. And so hopefully we're going to be getting a reunion unaired leak, but we'll let you guys know on social

later in the day. But for now, we are here with Jersey's final episode as we know it. Also, what was I gonna say about that? Tonight is crappy hour. So we will be talking about a lot of Bravo gossip and news over on crappy hour that is streamed on Instagram Live, but it originates on YouTube. So if you're on YouTube, just find us, watch what's crappin'. Okay? Or be on our Patreon where it is embedded every week as it goes live. Patreon's also where you get the videos where we are right now and all of our bonus episodes.

Okay? So you know where that stuff is. The key is with Crappy Hour is that now we have moved it to basically being a YouTube show, so you can watch on Instagram. But if you wanna interact with it, like write comments, questions, come on the air with us, you have to go to our YouTube channel

and watch it from there, because that is where we are pulling our interaction from now, it's much easier than on Instagram. Okay, so let's get into off the rails, the real housewives of New Jersey season 14 episode 14. What will they do? So everybody has been wondering, they've been telling us, Oh, we're doing something different. Andy Cohen said, Oh, you guys will understand why we had to do this special after you see the season

finale is just so toxic. Everybody's so toxic. I don't get it. I mean, this show has been pushing each other down and beating each other up and calling each other all sorts of vile names and bringing secret family members out and other family. I mean, this show has even had wars between grandparents. It's the only one that's ever had like wars between grandparents and people saying like, fuck your mom and stuff like that. So personally, I think that this should have had a reunion. I don't understand the whole like, this one was worse than any other. I mean, there's something thrown once a season on this show.

What's the big deal? Yeah, I think I would have still liked a reunion, but I understand why Bravo was like, we're not doing this again. I am sure that every single year when it comes time to sit down and do the Jersey reunion, it's probably exhausting. I'm sure Andy is at his wits end every single year. Yeah. But like I'm saying, like I just felt like they're like, you know what? Don't want to do this anymore. We would just want to fire them all and be done with it. So like I get it, but I think it could have benefited from a reunion. That being said, I did kind of enjoy this, this kind of like dual viewing. But my big note is if you're going to do something like this again, where you have different, like different

people viewing from different locate, like watching the show, don't do it from the same location that the episode aired in. Because I actually found that there were multiple times where it was actually very confusing for me to remember like what timeline we were in. Are we in the finale timeline? Are we in the watching the finale timeline? Because it was like all the same backdrop and they look kind of the same, you know, like. So they don't, they all have new faces now. They're all wearing different outfits.

It was tricky. I'm like, put them in a, put them in like a room where there's like a death. Like I just need like a visual cue to know like switching back and forth. I honestly, I had hard times every now and then to be like, wait, was this said watching it or was this said during the fight? Yeah, I didn't have problems with that. I just had problems with them not being in the

same room and yelling at each other. I just don't get it. And listen, I get that people are tired. Like Andy told us when we went and did his show and got to ask him this stuff, which was really cool. And thanks for having us before I diss you. But when he was saying, you know, you guys will understand when you see it. And, you know, I'm just like, it gets really exhausting doing those reunions. I get that you're exhausted. I don't blame you for being exhausted. Guess what? I got exhausted doing, bringing fucking couscous to people. But did I get to just say, I'm sorry, you can't have fucking tagine because they weigh 15 pounds and my arms have no muscle tone. and I've been doing this for 12 years and I'm sick of doing it? No, I had to bring the couscous to the table, okay, because that was my job.

So get your ass up there and get pushed down by Teresa every year, get some cheese cubes thrown at your head. I don't care. This is Jersey. I want my toxic reunion. That's it. I ordered a toxic reunion. I don't want this sitting in different rooms, you know, just listening to Teresa blink and call everyone a bitch. I need more people. I deserve more. We deserve more. This is America. Yeah. I mean, it would have been interesting to see if like, see them being confronted with their own hypocrisy.

But, um, but that being said, I don't know, it may have been exhausting. Like I, they always say leave them wanting more. So much so as waking up, getting out of bed, it's exhausting, we still do it, okay? I don't care if it's exhausting, it's your job, this is Bravo. This was built on fighting and toxicity.

Get your asses out there. You're not allowed to just be tired. That being said- You're a millennial, you're a boomer. Is he a boomer or is he an ex? Andy is an ex, he's Gen X for sure. He's an ex, you're a Gen X, okay? You're tougher than this, get your ass up there.

I think what we're definitely seeing though, is I think we're definitely seeing that Bravo is, I don't think they're really, I think it's like, I think putting on these reunions and editing them and figuring out how to make compelling TV out of them, I think is like a lot of work and it's very hard. It's hard. It's exhausting for Andy, but I think it's also tough on the producers.

And it's, it's, I think that what we're seeing is that they are, they're shrinking the size of their reunions. Like summer house was only two episodes.. Summer House was only two episodes. Some other ones were only two episodes. I don't think that we need to stretch them out as long anymore. So I'm appreciative that Bravo is saying we don't have to throw everything into a reunion format. Well, that's true.

I mean, that's a different conversation. And that's true. And I agree with you on that one because they started that show with Real Housewives of Atlanta where they were like, oh, now we need three. now we need four. Remember they did four for a couple. Yeah, four for Atlanta and Beverly Hills. And it started with the three for Atlanta because it was just so good and it was, and it was getting millions of viewers a week and stuff like that. We don't need three for all of them for sure. Maybe at the most two, but at least one because this was some bullshit. And guess what

I'm tired of and I'm no longer going to do? Poop. I just don't want to poop anymore, so I'm not going to. Let's see how that works out for me and the world. And you know who suffers? Not only me, but everybody on the bus next to me. So think of that next time, Bravo. I will say this.

I felt like when the Valley ended, I was furious that there was no reunion. I felt like there were questions that I had. I felt like there were confrontations that needed to be made. I felt like there was statements that needed to be put out there. I needed people to be questioned about their behavior about certain things. And I have to say that in New Jersey, I don't feel that way. I feel kind of like, well, it would have been nice for there to be a reunion, but I wasn't like, well, I wish someone had said this to Jen Aiden. I was like, ah, like they are kind of all-

Really? Yeah. I don't have any burning questions for them. Is that weird? We're not going to disagree. We're not going to agree on this. And that's okay. I still love you. You know, we don't need to agree. But yes, I had questions. Like they never brought up the bloggers that Teresa and Jen got totally caught paying off to leak all these stories. The whole season has been about Marge talking to bloggers. When it turns out it was Teresa and Jen talking to these bloggers, paying them money, getting them to leak all of these stories. It's been a huge drama off the show. And I can understand them not wanting to give the bloggers the

attention because that's like creating another monster, right? I can understand the instinct to not want to bring that stuff. Cause look, I've somewhat followed it. I don't, I still don't understand it for shit. I really don't. So I get that it would be confusing and I get why they would make that decision, but to make it look like, oh, Marge just got caught doing all of this stuff, but then Teresa and Jen are sitting there like they've been vindicated the whole time, I think is absolute bullshit. I think that's a huge, huge question. Also, all the Louis stuff, all the stuff that Bo Deedle was doing, we never got answers to all of that stuff. All of the evidence that Teresa supposedly came up with,

we never saw that. Teresa's supposed timeline, Marge says at one point in this episode that she's gonna send everybody a screenshot. She never sends the screenshot. I mean, there are just huge gaping holes in this, you know? Yeah, I mean, I think I would like to see Teresa get pressed about the blogger thing. And I would also like her to be confronted with her hypocrisy, but she also gets confronted with her hypocrisy literally every single season.

And she's like incapable of even understanding how she's a hypocrite. She just doesn't even see it, which is really, really frustrating. She just doesn't even see it, which is really, really frustrating. She's just that type of reality star. There are certain reality stars. It's like Teresa, Joey Essex in the latest Love Island UK, so many other people who just, Tom Sandoval, who just are incapable of even acknowledging these moments. And it's like, yeah, it would be great to confront them, but they never

see it. And then, you know, I think the only burning questions I would really have would actually, actually be more for Jackie Goldschneider. Like, why don't you see like this situation? How are you not seeing it? Like, what caused this real big rift with you and Margaret? But that being said, given that I have There are some more questions we need to answer. But like, is it like, what the fuck was Jackie doing and lying about all this stuff? And when did Jackie start talking to this ex? And was Margaret really talking to this ex? Without them all talking, we don't get answers to any of this. We just get everybody's word for it.

Trey Lockerbie But that being said, outside of those questions, I don't know if I have enough for a reunion. I don't have any burning questions about John Fuda and his past. I don't have any burning questions about anything that Jennifer Aiden did this season. I might have a few passing questions. I may have some passing questions for Danielle. I would like to get some clarity on this charity situation and also like what the hell's going on with her dad.

And like, I would like her to be confronted with that. But I don't know if that like, I don't know if those questions to be honest, warrant a three episode reunion or two episodes. Yeah, I don't come for pressing questions. And most of these seasons don't require any reunion. This is Housewives. Some of the half of them are like,

Shannon Bedor learned how to ride a bicycle. Let's watch her cry. And then we just watch that for half an hour. And that's what it is. I don't have, I don't come here for pressing questions. This isn't my education. I need a reunion. That's it.

This is Housewives and it gets a reunion period. And if it's only one of us fighting for it this time, but I don't care. Half of Watch What Crappens is fighting for it. I demand a reunion. I would be happy with a reunion. I would be happy with a reunion, but I was more in a state of like, you know what? I was actually okay without there being a reunion. Like it didn't bother me as much as I thought. Okay. Well, that's good. That was the universe's gift to you. Yeah. I mean, I thought this special was sort of interesting. I demand it. I'm gonna die. When I die, I'm gonna be on my grave being like, Jersey. That's gonna be my regret in life. Jersey didn't have a season 14 reunion. How could you do this to me? How dare you? It's all I wanted. I was more upset that New York

didn't have a reunion that one season. I was more upset that the Valley didn't have a reunion. And I think there was actually like maybe even one or two below deck seasons that I would have liked a reunion. Although generally speaking, I do not ever want below deck reunions because they are way too polite on them. But this was, I don't know, I was oddly at peace with this. Let's get into it. Shall we? Sure. So, off the rails. So basically what they're doing, they're going to rails, which may just say rails, you've got a huge restaurant. Good for you guys keeping that shit just going. I mean, this place is enormous and they just keep it going.

It gets more and more successful. I mean, the macrame room, the kaleidoscope room, the tapestry room, the drywall room. Great stuff. They just have so many experiences. Great stuff. Yeah. There's a lot going on in there. So they've basically taken over Rails and then they are putting the ladies in their team rooms, dun dun dun dun dun, have to choose teams and go to the rooms of those teams.

Yes. So Rachel comes in and she's like, the fucking PTSD is real. And Daniel's like, yeah, I said the same thing. So they're walking in and Jackie's like, no, you know, I'm not really excited to watch the finale, but my plan today, honestly, is I'm just, I'm not going to trash anybody. Like I'm not interested in adding to the toxicity. My priority is who I'm friends with. I'm like, not interested in adding to the toxicity. You're the one who met with Louis' ex-wife first, and you're not going to add to the toxicity, please. My priority is who I'm really friends with.

And I really consider Teresa, Teresa and Jen, you guys. Teresa, Jen. Someone's walking. Huh? Who, who, who am I? Teresa, I'm right'm right here. Yeah, you're my real friend. And Jen Fessler too. So then Margaret's talking to Rachel. She's like, so is this the first time you're seeing Jen Fessler? She goes, yes, I never even talked to her again. And yeah, well, you know what? She should apologize to you for talking,

mentioning John Futo's name and defending him. That's terrible. Apologize for that. Um, Rachel, less hair. You know what I mean? Less hair, less on the hair. Okay. It's very pretty. But how many baboons had to die to get that hair? Or whatever you use to get wig hair from. That is a lot of hair. You're gonna have neck problems, okay? It's just too much. Stop the self-hurt. Stop the self-harm.

It's like 20 pounds of hair. Just calm down. I can't even see your little tiny face. You've got a little tiny face. You look like you're looking through bushes. You look like you're stalking rails, okay? That's what I see. A lady who's just hiding in the bushes of rails.

I'm waiting for a little camera to pop out and you to start taking pictures of somebody. Less hair. It's pure heresy. So then Teresa's saying like, you know what, like watching the season so far, like Jen Fesla really had her own opinion and like, but now after the show's done, like in interviews, she's like, like changed her mind and stuff. And like, I think that like Margaret got in in her ear because like, obviously, like, uh, like she like basically got in her ear. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink.

Teresa, I can understand how that would be rough for Teresa because literally nothing gets between her ears. You know what I mean? It's like lockdown over there. So I get that she would be confused, but it's just funny listening to Teresa talk like that when literally she was the one who stole like tried getting Fessler away from Margaret. Yes. And then it's like, it got in her ear and it didn't work. And so now she's like, everything's Margaret's fault in this. Literally every single thing is Margaret's fault. Literally every single thing that's gone wrong in this world is because of Margaret. So, well, she's the root of all evil, the devil. So, Melissa arrives and she's like,

oh my God, look at all this charcutie we got for the last supper. And then Dolores arrives and she has to make a choice, which room is she going to go to? But of course she goes to Teresa's room, because at the end of the day, she is most loyal to Teresa. She rode the junior prom with her in the same car and she's going to be loyal until the day she dies because that's how Dolores rolls. You ride together, you stay together. Which is why if anybody fucks with my Uber person today,

you're going to fuck with me. You get it? So, Jennifer Aiden is talking to Dolores and she's like, Oh yeah, look at us all and why? We need to look like angels us all and why we need to look like angels with all the devils next to us. Please. And Dolores is like, look, I'm coming in peace. I want everyone to know I haven't watched the show and I'm happy. I'm fucking happy. Except for the pebble tile that Frank put up on the wall.

I didn't even ask him to do that, but now it's there. And he took away the railings. So now dog keeps falling off the stairs. But you know what ask him to do that, but now it's there. And he took away the railings, so now dog keeps falling off the stairs. But you know, other than that, I'm happy. Pete Slauson Finally, we're at a place that's still reminding me of the one thing that Frank refuses to install, rails. For Christ's sake. But Dolores, I don't believe that Dolores didn't watch this show. Dolores can't even pass a car in a parking lot without checking herself out in the mirror. There is no way in hell she missed out looking to see what that version of her face looked like on the television. No one is believing you, ma'am. So, now they're talking about Teresa and whether

or not Danielle is still talking to her and she's like, I haven't talked to her. Oh, God, what was it? January, February? Wait, hold on. January wasn't talking to my mother, but I think I talked to her about not talking to her. That's right. All right, so it was January, but wait. February is when I cut off my gamba, then told my aunt to go fuck herself. You know what?

I really don't remember. It's a carousel of not talking to people over here. Let me tell you one thing. She's dirty. She's dirty. I haven't talked to Theresa so long, I started calling her dad. It's been, it's like I don't even know who she is anymore.

So. So Marge was like, why? What was the catalyst? When did you realize? Like, did you realize finally that she was doing, I mean, what was it? What made you finally stop? And Danielle's like, well, we were supposed to get together

all about Christmas time. We were nominated for a People's Choice award. You know how that goes. People's Choice, you know, it's so hard. Finally, Fashion Week recognizes me. Outstanding achievement in kids' bot mommaging. That was an amazing moment in my life. And then my girlfriend sends me a screenshot of her posting a picture of the cast with her faces scratched out. And we were just texting and I said, I'm taking a step back from you. And that was it.

And we see this picture where Teresa was like, vote for us, uh, real house, us in New Jersey. And she has scratched out everyone's faces on the cats except for, uh, Jennifer and Dolores. And so, uh, which is so, and then, I mean, this is the thing, Teresa will do something like that and then still think that she can just go out to dinner with, with Danielle. Be like, yeah, well, no, I was just showing like who my best friends are, but that's it.

You know, like I didn't know. I was just like, I was trying to like, there was like a bug on my screen. I'm trying to kill the bug with my pen and I made all these scratchy faces on people's faces. I'm sorry you felt those. I was trying to help. But yeah, Teresa doesn't even give them that much. She's just like, I don't even know.

Because like nothing ever happened with the two of us. Like I don't even know why she's mad at me. Like crazy. Pretending she has no idea. Of course. Although then again, I always say what Danielle says with a grain of salt too. When she was like, yeah, we were just texting

and I said, I'm taking a step back from you. And that was it. I'm like, it was Danielle, it's you. You know, Danielle's text was like, who the fuck do you think you are? Scratching out my face on Instagram for people's choice. You know Danielle's text, she's like, who the fuck do you think you are? Scratching out my face on my Instagram for people's choice? Like you can't do that, you're a fun motherfucker, I'm never gonna talk to you again for my life.

Yeah, that's it, it was just like, that's it. I said I'm taking a step back from you, that's it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Welcome to The Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're gonna make make some picks, talk some s***, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Hagar.

So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense. No offense, Travis Kelce, but you got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably

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We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Zifrin. And we're the hosts of Wondry's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light, as women who used the tools available to them to hold on to power. Some women won the game,

others lost, but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Go deeper and get more to the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal, Legacy, and Black History for Real. So what about Jen Fessler? Where's Jen Fessler? Where is she? I'm calling. what about Jen Fessler? Where's Jen Fessler? Where is she?

I'm calling her. Hello, Jen Fessler, it's me, Margaret. Right, what are you doing, Jen Fessler? And she's like, I got caught behind the truck. I'm behind the truck. You're gonna yell at me too? Sorry, Bravo. Listen, Bravo, you want something better?

Get smaller trucks. Because right now I'm behind a goddamn truck. You want a piece of me, Margaret? Do you want a fucking piece of me? It's like, damn. Man, Fessler's really taking the audience turn against her this season pretty hard. And it was only one episode that America was mad at her,

but she's not recovering. She's pissed. She is frazzled, but also you know that production had called her like five times. Like, where are you? You're just a friend of him. We're not gonna hold up the entire shooting schedule for a friend of him.

And she's like, I'm coming. I'm just behind a giant truck that says G go ahead, good move. And I can't help it. It's going so slowly. So she hangs up on Margaret. She's like, goodbye Margaret. And Margaret's like, wow, vicious. Love her. Okay. So now they're going to watch the finale, which worked really, really well with Vanderpump rules. Let's see if it works for these dummies. And Teresa goes, Teresa's like, um, we're only watching the finale, right? No, you're also going to binge Presumed Innocent. Of course. What else do you think you're going

to watch? And um, it's time and they start showing the show. So, we see the ladies reacting to all the scenes, basically, and we see the party where the Foodas confront Teresa when she called John Fooda a drug dealer, and then Rachel's holding an L up to her head and going, loser, loser, which is basically this whole episode. It is reaction shots of the ladies jeering each other's teams. This is honestly what the people's couch should have been. This is what it should have been, just people watching and reacting like this instead of

doing all sorts of little funny bits and gags. This was kind of fun for me, although this is probably our most meta Watcher Crappens episode, us recapping people watching their own selves on TV. We're now getting layers upon layers of recapping here, but it was really funny. I loved watching their reactions. So then we see Danielle and Jennifer Aiden arguing at the Tulum part of the big fight. And Jennifer Aiden, so Jennifer Aiden is very on in this episode. She's very aware the camera's on her. She's very aware that this is like a people's couch thing. So she's everything she says is like to an invisible standup comedy club.

So we see them fighting and Jennifer Aiden is like, Oh, you're so angry, baby. What's going on? No drama. Don't need no drama. Go stop the drama. Do the right thing, baby. Don't want no won, don't need no drama, go stop no drama, do the right thing, baby. Don't want no, won't be none, babe. I'm like, oh my God, she's so embarrassing. I'm like so embarrassed watching her this season. She's very much doing her Watch What Happens performing where she goes up on Watch What

Happens and she pretends she's on like a Netflix special where she's got an entire audience like, hey Andy, let me tell you something Andy. You ever hear about the one about the milkman going into the bar with the Jewish guy? Like, oh my God. So embarrassing, just have a conversation. But yeah, she's doing that through this whole thing. Where she's like, look at her, what kind of outfit is that?

You look so cheap, dumb bitch. It's like winks to the camera. That was funny, right? So then we see Jen Fessler has finally arrived. And meanwhile, there's more scenes happening. So Fessler arrives and she goes, oh, rails, good old rails. So she walks into the room and everyone says hi. And Danielle is like, hey, by the way, we wait, it's really long time for you.

And then I want to watch the episode and I want to know what you think now, now that you watched the whole season back and you were riding so hard for Jen coming at me. And Jen Fester's like, okay, you know what? That's like a lot of energy right now. Okay, you know what? I just, I think you need to calm down. I just was behind a truck. Have you ever been behind a truck before? Do you know how, do you know my blood pressure is going? Trucks are hard. They're big. They're so big. You can't pass a truck. Have you ever tried to pass a truck? Can't do it.

Not on a two lane road. I was stuck behind that truck for four or five miles. And now you want to come at me? How about this, how about you say you're an American hero because you were behind a truck for so long? You persevere, you were behind a truck and you show up here. Good for you, Fessler.

Where's that? Where's that energy? Yeah, Fessler comes in ready to fight. And then Danielle comes in like the new Teresa, which is definitely what she's going for with her phony family issues and her, you know, her throwing glasses at people in every episode. Like, I get that that's what she's going for, but it goes too far. I mean, she's taking all the worst qualities. Those ones are okay. But this one of just like refusing to take any accountability, how are you going to get violent with somebody twice in one season? Like you are the reason they're not having a reunion, because you can't keep your fucking hands off of people, dude. You can't stop throwing glass at people. You're the reason and you're still not going to take accountability and be like, oh yeah,

how do you feel now about being on her side? Right. Like you're a monster. What are you talking about? And Fessler is really like she is really frazzled. She has been getting shit from the producers clearly. And then she gets a call from Margaret. She's been behind a truck for like four miles.

And you know what? Honestly, I'm with her on this because we've all been stuck behind a truck when we're in a rush. And it's literally the worst, especially if it's like a garbage truck and you can't pass it and you're wondering, you're flashing your lights. You're like, I got to get to, I got to get to rails. So she comes in and she's on edge. She looks like she wants to cry, you know, and then Danielle comes in with this thing

right away and she's like, well, you know, I got here. I don't have to sit in a room like this with snakes. I can go sit in the other room with the snakes that are nice. Those are nice snakes down there." And they're like, okay, okay, settle down, settle down. But we gotta talk about it. That's what we gotta do about it, right? She's like, well, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

Here's what I'm ready to talk about. Trucks. Make them smaller, please. You know, if you're in a rider truck, that means you're not a professional truck driver. So what the hell are you doing in the first place? Going 45 miles per hour in the 55 mile lane. That's 10 miles of power. I could be going faster.

What's wrong with the truck drivers these days? Ride or die, ride or die, ride or die. That's what I thought we was. No, I'm saying ride or die. Fucking trucks. Hate them. So, um, professor is like, well, I'll tell you this much. When I walked into this room, it did not feel very welcoming. And that's what I need to feel. Should I walk

into that room and see if that room is very welcoming? That room has Teresa and fucking Jim in it. This room has big truck energy. She's not going to feel welcoming. I can tell you that. Yeah. And so, yeah, she's like, don't pretend like you open up your arms to me. And Danielle's like, well, I didn't, I didn't, I definitely didn't. And Rachel's like, I didn't. Listen, I turned and I said, hi, how are you? That was what I did. That's what I said. And Professor was like, well, I'm sorry, should I kiss you next time? Is that what you want from me?

And Rachel's like, what? I don't understand it. How dare you keep your husband's name out of your mouth. I didn't even mention your husband in the first place. Sorry, just my instinct to go there when I don't have anything to say. By the way, watching you back, I was wrong. I was wrong. There, Jen, absolutely pushed you, Danielle. What happened that night, now that I've seen it live, in action, I don't blame you.

I don't blame you. I regret defending Jen Aiden that night. There, you happy? Congratulations, delivery truck arrived. I've been stuck behind the delivery truck, but guess what, it was full of apologies. All right? I know it took me a long time to realize that you were in the right, but let's just say I was emotionally behind a truck all season long. And now the truck has passed and I have full speed ahead.

So she was like, yeah, well, seeing it was a surprise for me. I was just so disappointed, so disappointed. And then Danielle's like, that's all I wanted. Cheers. Cheers. We can be friends now. Thank God. Cause I was thirsty. I really didn't want to have to throw this glass. Do you promise you would not throw things, Danielle? Yeah, that too. That's all. I just want to say something. Hello. Pyle of here speaking. I don't, I don't hate you. It's just, it's so unfortunate that like what transpired between the two of us and like

seeing it back, there are like so many things that like I generally feel hate you. It's so unfortunate that what transpired between the two of us and seeing it back, there are so many things that I genuinely feel hurt about. I thought she was gonna say, looking at it back, I realized I was a little hard on you. But now she's like, I was genuinely hurt by you, by some of the things. And I feel like I was really fully into our friendship. And you weren't, from what I'm watching, that's it.

Oh, okay, Rachel. Watching back, I realize how your shoulders must hurt because your head is too heavy and you're very hurt about things that you make more dramatic constantly. Like a lot of this shit could have just been done with Rachel not giving it air, but instead she made it worse and worse and worse. And then your husband made himself an IMDB page with homemade pictures with Dolce & Gabbana stickers still on his glasses. So, please be quiet over there. So, then we go back to, we see a flashback of Teresa and Fessler chatting like, oh, it could have, didn't we almost have it all? Kind of one of those. And Fessler's like, did I hug her? Did I? Did I? I did. And then we see a clip of Rachel seeing them hugging and was like did I hug her then I did I I did and then we see a clip of Rachel seeing them hugging and being like I am so mad that they're hugging this is so awful to me

right now in this body and uh she's like well it doesn't mean that I'm best friends with her it didn't make me have your back any less I don't want this Rachel it's just like I don't know I don't either and some was like oh you see this is nice. We had a real good breakthrough. I think this episode's done. I think we covered everything we needed to cover here. Yeah. So they hug it out, you know, and Margaret's like, thank God. I feel so much better. I'm sure everybody cares. Like food is the new thing. Food is the new in, right? Everybody cared. Fessler versus fooder. Boom, solved. You know, this all started out very vicious, okay? I got scared for a little minute. I was like, put this woman behind a truck, she comes out like a banshee, okay? But it's all good. It's all love

now. Okay, so next up is Danielle Nalese. I'm fast forwarding through a lot of this because it's ridiculous. Okay, so now they go back to watching the show and now this is Dolores versus Marge. When Marge was like, oh yeah, remember when I invited you to the summit on Louis, the whole Louis pre-reunion talk, the you know, the ice espresso with a shot of Louie or whatever that we were having at my house. And Dolores being like, you never invited me to anything, you stupid lying cut fitness. Yeah. And so we see that and Marge is like, Oh my God, I got, can you believe it? Dolores just called me a cut fitness. All right. And then we see Bella and my poor dead dog. Look at this, she died of being called a cut fitness adjacent. Terrible for her, Bella.

And Dolores is like, oh my God. In the other room, she's like, Bella died. She was 10, I think. And Theresa is like, oh, yeah, that's that. Maybe she died because Margaret is the root of all evil. Okay, and animals can't be around evil things anymore. So then we're seeing the- Bella didn't like that my daughters were hurt. Bella was mad. So then we see the funeral arrangement arriving and everything and Dolores

is like, wow, look at that. That poor delivery guy, he was crying. Look at him. He was like so scared. I'm like, My shit was funny. I would be scared too if I had to knock on Teresa's door. No kidding. It's terrifying. And that was the best scene of the year. But just to watch this room, not even be able to enjoy it. I mean, Teresa should have at least been able to be like, haha, all right, fuck her. but she couldn't. She's like, who's proud of something like that? Who's proud of that? And making you look like an idiot at your own take down.

Anybody would be proud of that. Yeah, you know, it was amazing. So, and Margaret's like, you know what, that was perfect. You know, for the loss of your dignity, that's what I wrote everyone. That's great. That was great work. You know what? Bella helped me draft that. God, my poor dead dog. We have a stir of all. Where's my funeral? I hope Marge, Marge always acts like she's about to start her own cabaret show and not really singing just like a for greatest hit. She's like, you know, but RIP for the loss of your

dignity. That's right. Okay, I'm going to be doing another one now. Everybody gather around. Now this one happened around the 20, let's say the 2021s. Okay, we all remember that. Okay. Your husband, your husband's in the pool. Okay, let's get to the show video. Let's do a mashup. Okay, RIP for the loss of your dryness because your husband's in the pool. He's wet. What'd she say when she first got on Gen Aiden when she's like, Oh yeah, everyone knows that your husband's cheating, sleeping in the pool house.

And then Jen started freaking out. She's like, touch a nerve. So what she said when she ate the cracker, hit a nerve, hit a nerve. Well, there was also like, you have the mouth of a monkey's asshole. That's her cabaret just like, cat skills. Well, no, and don't forget also, you know what I call her soggy flicker because she cries so much. That one's for you, John. The caperay can be called.

This one's for you, John. Oh, Soggy Flicker really got to Ziggy. Remember that? Ziggy was so upset. Remember she pulled on. She's like, I don't like that. You make fun of me. How dare you make fun of me.

Oh, good. With the details. That was such a funny season. Okay, so now we're seeing Marge and Fessler in the scene flashback. They're talking about how Jackie is so dead to Margaret and Margaret says that she's very forthright and doesn't run in the shadows and in the dark. She's like, you know, what do I have to hide? You know, that's what she said last week. And so then Teresa's like, huh, yeah, yeah, I can do.

Yeah, I can do. Jennifer Aiden's like, yeah, she's like, so full of herself, am I right people? Women be shopping, women be shopping. Did you already talk about Dolores coming to the room or we still know where that hasn't quite happened yet. It's actually it happened. It's basically this is, uh, they're still watching the big fight go down and everything. Oh, okay. Um, so well, I'll just move to that part. Cause I get lost in this when nothing happens, it's very easy to get, we have a ton of notes

where nothing's really happening. So I'm just going to move on. So we start talk. So Dolores is like, I got to go talk to Marge because you know, Bella. What, what, what, who Bella? The dog, it died. Ah, I wonder if it's cause Marge hurt my daughter. Teresa, we've already said this. I'm going to go see her cause I just can't.

You know, I don't agree with everything that she's done, but here's what I know. I own an electricity business and I cared about Bella. So I'll be back. Yeah. This is the thing that emotionally moves Dolores the most is that like Bella's on screen. She's like, I know that must've been odd for Margaret. Let me go console her, which I don't, I don't think that's really why she went to the other room.

I think she went to the other room to be like, Hey, just wanted to check in, just want to say hi. Like, I know we had that vicious fight on screen, but I still love you. You know, I don't think it was just about like, Oh, I know it was hard for you to see Bella. My poor Ted Dore. I think it was, I think it was a very clear, I think LV was like, South to Loris. Clearly, you're the anchor for the next season. We had that season end with you staring off into space in your ice skating funeral outfit, and we had your memories and your flashbacks and your gigantic lips. And that's how we plan to open the next season.

So get in there and act like you give a shit about everybody. Because Dolores is the one who's like, look at me, Dolores, the one who can be in the room with the pebble tiles, the one who can be in the room with just regular square tiles on the ground. What do I care? It's just me, Dolores, every woman. So Dolores is like, you know what? I'm going to go over there. Everyone. I'm going to go see how Margaret's doing because of a dog. And so they're like, okay. So, um, Margaret, meanwhile Margaret's like reacting

with Delores said on screen, which is that, Delores said something to the effect of like, now I know what Margaret is capable of doing to me. And Margaret's like, I know it was obnoxious. I know exactly what she was trying to say. She was trying to say, I was trying to make her look like a bad friend. I mean, I can imagine a shit talk

that's going on right downstairs with all of them. But then Delores comes upstairs and interrupts whatever they were speculating about. Yeah. And they're like, every bit, the whole cast is like, oh my God, we've never seen Dolores that mad. Since when does Dolores get that mad? I have never, Dolores, I've never seen you that mad at it. Yes, we have. Dolores has fucking lost her shit so many times. So many times. And I love it every single time. My favorite was when she went off on Melissa. Melissa was like, when are you going to just get married? Aren't you sick of not being married? When are you going to marry your boyfriend? This is crazy.

And she's like, fuck you and fuck you. Yeah. That one. At the party. It was great. So it's, oh, but here she comes. Here comes Loris. Okay. So Margaret's like, you mean lying cut fitness here? Okay. It's your favorite lying cut fitness. Here I am. Nail me to the cross. Listen, I came because I noticed Bella, that must have been very hard for you. Oh, you mean my poor dead dog? Oh, God, it was awful. Thank you for coming up here. And Danielle's like, what do you

think about her saying that she knows what you're capable of? What about that part? What about that part? Marge is like, I know that was obnoxious. I know what she was trying to say. She was trying to say, like, I make her look like a bad friend. Oh my God, I guess that's what she said. So Dolores is like, listen, I just came to say hello. And Melissa's like, but you called her to see you next Tuesday. I just don't understand why you were so mad. She goes, I was mad because she didn't ask me to go, but she said that she did ask me to go. We just remember things very differently, that's all. You know what, I wasn't trying to make you look

like a bad friend, that's not it at all. Well, which I'm not, and I don't have to answer to them. It was more like I felt like you were trying to make me look like a liar, which I'm also not. And it wasn't a big deal whether I was invited to that or not, it was just more the principle. It wasn't a big deal. I just felt emotionally moved to get up to my feet and call you a cut fitness and scream and have a vein pop out of my head. That's it. It wasn't very big deal.

Pete Slauson Right, because clearly Dolores got so mad because she didn't want Teresa to think that she would be a part of any, like that Teresa knew that they were going to be pulling any of this shit, mentioning that Louis had hired the private investigator and all of this stuff, right? Right. So she doesn't even want to be dragged in when clearly she didn't know. I mean, it's clear to me, it seems pretty clear to everybody that Dolores is getting defensive because she did know and she didn't tattle-tale to Teresa and everybody's terrified

of Teresa. Right. And she's like, you know what, it was never a conversation that was never even brought up. And I know I just made it a bigger deal than what it was. Sort of like with Frank with, you know, Pebble Toil. So then Margaret's like, well, how's Jackie doing? Well, she's doing okay for someone who accuses people of being a slob. She's doing okay. She's like, okay, well, delusion is like a real thing, I guess. Dolores, I might be sending you a screenshot of something

later on. It's of Joe's PSA. I know we never got to the bottom of that storyline. So I'm going to send you a screenshot of it. So just stay tuned for that. Um, how's Jackie doing? Oh, could you do me a favor? Take these wet naps and say these are for your poopy diapers. I hope you don't have a poopy diaper. You know, I don't know if that really has a ring to it, but it's quick. It's quick. It's just last minute, very last minute. I don't know if that's going into cat skills yet. Just try it. Try and let me out. Let's work it out. This is our out of town tryouts. So Dolores is like, well, my phone is off. So don't send me any screenshots or any like wet wipes. She's all right. Well, put it back on. I mean, God. So she leaves. And Margaret's like, I mean, is anyone else going to go down there? I'm not going to go down there.

Is there anyone else going to go? By the way, if you go down there, you're a traitor. Just want to put it out there. Okay. Anyone want to go downstairs? And they're like, no. They're like, I mean, does anyone else gonna go down there? I'm not gonna go down there Is anyone else gonna go by the way if you go down there, you're a traitor. Just want put it out there Okay, anyone want to go downstairs? They're like no, they're like no, we're where we need to be with the good people the bad people are downstairs And so they're like, what about you? Fessler fucking flip-floppy Fessler and she's like no I don't thank you for asking. Here's the side I'm on normal-sized cars Downstairs is closer to the road and the road is where the trucks live. So no, thank you. I'll be upstairs.

That's right. So they're like, well, have you spoken to Jenna Teresa? Like what's going on with that? And she goes, well, when the social media stuff came out, I started reading this shit in black and white. And I thought it wasn't just like people talking in bad accents and blinking a lot in my face and tricking me. I saw actual words, black and white. And that made me think of the Michael Jackson song, which was really poignant. You know what I mean? I just started dancing around in my living room and crying. I forgot what we were talking about. No, I haven't really talked to anybody else. All I remember is that I went out to Jeff Vestal's car and I bashed in the windshield

with a sledgehammer. And then I looked around for George Wendham and Carly Culkin and they were nowhere to be found. And I thought, did, did, did, didedgehammer, and then I looked around for George Wendon McCauley Culkin, and they were nowhere to be found, and I thought, did-a-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de, black or white. Anyway, it was a weird moment. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Dan Tbersky.

In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back.

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So she hasn't spoken to any of them. So then they start the tape again and it's when Rachel has a couple of people over and she's making her charcutie tray or whatever. And Aiden sees Rachel and she goes, her hair looks that shit, it's a fart. She's just taunting the screen at this point. Everything she says is just a taunt. And then we see Danielle show up at Rachel's. I just wanted like a glass to fly through the screen and smack Jen Aiden on the forehead. She really

is an insufferable asshole. My God. She really is terrible in this episode. And so Danielle shows up at Rachel's and Aiden is like, oh, shut up, Satan. And so now they're talking about the summit and everything and how Gia was there. And one of them, I forget, it was like Melissa goes, that's weird that Gia was there. Cause it is weird. It's weird that you'd bring your daughter into this like gossipy moment, even if she is an adult. And she was like, but that's like my daughter, Oguan. So Margaret's like, you know what? They obsess over us. Like we don't do that. We don't do this. We don't

okay. Guess we know what we don't do. We don't obsess over them all day long. I mean, that's ridiculous. The amount that they obsess over us. Like I'll tell you something. You know what I did last week? Okay. I did look up screenshots, you know, that I could send about Jackie and Teresa, but other than that, they're the ones who are really obsessing right now. You don't obsess over them. Okay. Okay. Yes, you do. Give me a fucking break. Um, but you know, in Marta's defense, she probably calls it research. Like, you know what, I don't, I don't obsess over them. Okay. I just do my

research. I just got to get my jokes in. You know what, I'm an artist. Okay. Yeah, I don't obsess. I just- Test skills show going. I just study. I just, it's more like I just, you know, listen, I went through all my, all my summer reading. And so now I'm just going to focus on, you know, their Instagram stories. It's not obsession, it's just entertainment for me, that's all. Rachel's like, it's because we have beautiful lives, we have children, we have things going on. We have car keys that if we're not focused, you know how hard it is to find a misplaced set of keys if they're on the wrong place on the pegboard. We have husbands who have anaphylactic shock

when they get shards of bone marrow into their throats. Okay, we got things we gotta take care of. We have stuff to do. We have cars to return. We have coke to deliver. We've got tiles to place in people's homes, Kai. She despises like she's a VHS tape. I literally thought you froze there for a second, Ronnie.

I was like, oh God, here we go. So Marge is like, oh, and then obsessing all day, they're having a meeting, what are they gonna say about me in the meeting? I mean, what kind of stupidity is this? So then of course, she had her own meeting. Exactly. But she doesn't call it a summit,

she calls it a review. She calls it, um, a RU a review. Candor net presents reunion review. Maybe this time I'll be happy. Maybe this time she won't, you know, call me a C word. That would be nice. Wouldn't that be nice? Candice Lohan like life, life is a cabaret, old friend. Sorry, I heard that there was a reunion review. It just felt like I had to participate. So then in the show now, Melissa is talking about how everybody was contacted by that

ex. Like it wasn't just Margaret, everybody, you know, kind of diluting the, the info that people have talked to this ex before. And Teresa goes, I mean, oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, well guess what? I'm going to let little Louis know that his cousin was talking about him in restaurants. So that's so funny because Teresa believes that, that the cousin did come up to Melissa in some restaurant and she's like, oh, I'll just break up that family now. Yeah. Well,

I'll make sure that he doesn't speak to his cousins. Like my kids don't speak to her. I mean, she's, she's so gross. This is one of the issues I've always had with Teresa is that like whatever's going on with the adults, I feel, I've always felt like she has actively brought her children into it, you know, for as much as she says, stay away from family, don't include the kids. When she needs to, she will go to the kids and she will air out her issues with the kids. And, um, like here, she's basically saying like, well, I'm going to let my stepson know that his cousin's saying that.

Like, why would you do that? Why would you do, why would you go out of your way to make sure like that, that relationship goes sour? You know, it's just, it's always been obnoxious. You know, she did it last year. She brought her daughters into it. Like she would sit there in the room with them and talk about her issues with Joe with her daughters. I just feel like it's totally inappropriate, especially for, or it's just extremely inappropriate given that she always talks

about how family is first, don't talk about the kids. And yet she's the first one to try to like poison their minds. Yeah. So then Teresa's like, can we have an espresso martini? And they write espresso on the screen, on the captions. Guys, get it together.

There's a difference between an espresso and an espresso martini. Do you not watch this show? Okay. Spelling it wrong. So then the producer, LV presumably is like, we can't do alcohol. And they're like, why not?

And she goes, it's 130. Excuse me? When did that stop anyone? When has that been? When is that a rule? What time zone are you in? Okay. So now they started up the episode again

and now people are getting ready for the Last Supper and everything and Jen, so Margaret's getting ready and of course Jennifer Aiden is like, Margaret, where's the rest of your hair? And then Jen is talking to Bill on screen and she's like, ah, Bill is like so cute, like he's like the cutest. So then we go to Louie and Teresa strategizing basically. Like, what can you say? We're not gonna take nothing from nobody.

And we march, and we're there. So they can come back and talk about how much they're not strategizing. And then Louie gives her the part, like, you know what? I hope that she suffers. I hope March suffers. I hope Marge suffers. I hope a family suffers. I hope a family family suffers. I hope every bit of sperm that was transferred from grandparents' pajamas into eggs and then made hairy little babies suffers for the rest of time. Children of Cain's. You know what? I'm like horrified. I had to make the sign of the cross. I am horrified by what

I just saw. And Melissa's like, you have to be like a special fucking human to say shit like that. You know what, Teresa? Louis is going to get a lot of shit for that, Teresa. A lot of shit. What he said about the son I hope he suffers mm-hmm Teresa No kid getting hurt is okay, okay, no kids getting hurt is okay It's not gonna be received well even I can see that number one being horrendous this episode But my moment was in the heat. What about my moment being in the heat? Teresa If I could stand here and back him up all the time as I do I cannot not say that that that was wrong

Okay, cannot not say that okay? Lord, please don't stick off of her in front of me because you know, you don't know everything Lord, please don't stick up for her in front of me because you know, you don't know everything I'm not sticking up for her, but I'm not not sticking up for her as much as I'm not not not sticking up for her. You know what I'm saying to me, sir? And she's like, Listen, if I can stand behind Louie and every fucking thing that said about him a million times over, even when it comes to my own son. So now she's got to pull out and remind Teresa that at the last reunion, she made Frank shut the fuck up and not bring out the information about what happened with

Frankie Jr. and Louis, which we still don't know about, and that was something. And then we see the clip of her telling Andy, I'm not going to talk about Frankie, I've never heard of any of this. And listen, he is, I'm going to tell you the same thing. I told Frankie when he told me I was going to say something today. I said, you shut the fuck up, you stupid fucking cup fitness. I'm going to fucking cut your throat. Yeah. Dolores is basically saying, don't try to make it sound like I don't stick up for Louie. Like I'm not, I'm not been on a side. Like, cause even when I had an actual grievance about Louie, I never aired it to the public. So don't try

to make it seem like I don't have your back. I'm saying- Yeah, she was reminding her that she stayed quiet and sort of- I've been loyal to you. And look, that works with Teresa. So it works with Teresa. She's like, oh, all right. All right, let's just drop it then. And Laura's like, I'm dropping it. Okay, but I have to understand. Yeah, I have to- and Teresa's like, I mean, look, he was like upset and like people make mistakes is like, I'm dropping it. Okay. But I have to understand. Yeah. I have to and, and Teresa's like, I mean, look, he was like upset and like people make mistakes and like, I know he didn't like, didn't mean to say that. And like, I'm sure like he, like,

I'll make sure he says like, you know, like, I'm sorry to like someone. I don't know. Pete So, Melissa's like, yeah, that was probably one of the lowest lows I've ever seen on the house. Please, your husband just pulled out his dick last week on camera. So Marge is like, oh my God, by the way, could you imagine saying that about someone's child? I mean, geez. And Fessler's like, oh God, I mean, even if he got it, why would he say it? Just keep inside voice, inside voice. I mean, you want to hear what's truly hurtful is being stuck behind a truck for five miles on the Jersey Parkway.

Terrible. Absolutely terrible. And literally we have not stressed enough how after every clip, both rooms go disgusting. That was disgusting. I've never seen somebody more disgusting in my life than that person. But this, I mean, Louis's comment was so incredibly vile. And the truth is that it was not a mistake what he said as evidenced by the fact that Teresa was not horrified by it.

Teresa was just like, what's the big deal? I don't see what the big deal is. So it was not a mistake whatsoever. She just finally realized, Oh, whoops, this looks really bad. People will not find this to be an empathetic point of view. Yeah. So then they all talk about how disgusting it was. Okay. So then they are watching The Real's Last Supper and Dolores is like, ah, look at us back in the same room. Yeah. I'm glad we're in this room. Like why? Why? And Jennifer's like, I like this room.

I like it a lot. I've got your bacteria. So we both love the room. Room besties. So then we see the clip of these the big talk starting and Danielle versus Jen fighting. And while they're watching Marge sees Jackie come on the screen and she goes, Oh, God, what a cheap outfit she has on. Seriously, I can't take it. Disgusting. What kind of disgusting person would do that? Let me tell you something, the Macbeth collection is going to set up a GoFundMe to donate some looks to Jackie because that's just awful what she's wearing right there. Not even Bella.

God, my poor dead dog. When I buried her, she looked better than this, this, this frock that she has on. It's awful. And then Dolores and Fessler are, you know, giving the ground rules of the discussion. And Danielle, Aiden, Jennifer Aiden is saying, Oh my God, Danielle can't even afford things. And Melissa's like, Oh my God, that was terrible. Marge is like, guess what she is? Guess. Disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting. And so then they're all continuing to watch and Teresa's talking about Danielle and she's like, you know, she said the same things when she comes to my house. She was always like, I want this, I want this, I want this. And Jennifer's like, yeah, of course she does. Because she wants everything that we have, Teresa. She wants us. She wants to be us.

She's obsessed with us. And then Marge sees Teresa's outfit. She says, Oh God, can we just call out her fake Chanel? There's like the fake Chanel. It's not, it's literally written in cursive with toothpaste and spelled wrong. Come on. So we get to the fight between Danielle and Jen and we see Jennifer Aiden say, your husband the boobs and you got the bra baby.

And then the lunging and everything and Aiden's watching it. She's like, oh wow, hot, hot temper you got, don't you baby? Yeah, they love it. Both of them love it, which it just goes to show you. They're so proud of themselves. Like yeah, both of them are like,

I was great in that scene, you know, like not learning any lessons at all. So then, let's see, the fake Chanel, Aiden's like, I don't know. So Dolores and, oh my God, where are we? This is such chaos. So they're watching this fight happen. And then, you know, in the middle, in the midst of the fight, I think that, I think that Danielle

called Rachel, someone called someone white trash. I forget who it was. And it was Melissa calling Teresa white trash. Oh, your brother's white trash too. Which actually, to be fair, Teresa does have a half point there. Someone saying my husband, not your brother. Right. Sorry. But she's saying if you call me white trash, I mean my husband, my brother, who you're now married to. Yeah. She's like, if you call me white trash,

that means that my brother then must be white trash also. So think about that. I was like, you know, for Teresa logic, that was pretty good. That was like, she sort of, she sort of had a point there. Very light, not a great point, but I was like, you know, for Teresa logic, that was pretty good. That was like she, she sort of, she sort of had a point there, very light, not a great point, but I was like, you know, for Teresa, I'll give her some credit where credit's due. And then, um, her calling Melissa a whore and Melissa being like, well, maybe I should tell Antonia you think I'm a whore.

Yeah. Which is kind of the same thing as, uh, as Teresa saying she's going to tell her you're related to?" That's the whole thing. Like, I'm a mother, how dare you? So then Aiden's like, so Jackie's like, "'Well, Jen, you can't just punch at people though. I will say that, okay? You can't just get violent." She's like, "'She spoke about my husband.

Maybe you shouldn't have spoken about my husband, huh? You fucking ding bag!' Keep yelling at the TV still. "'I think the fucking extensions have bleeding into your brain, baby. Like, okay, relax over there, Jen. So then we see Teresa trying to talk to Danielle who is sobbing and Jennifer Aiden is like, Oh, look, she's yelling at you, baby. And Margaret's like, you know what, you know, Margaret did this to me. Oh, please, everything always goes back to her. Like,

no matter what the situation is, it's always Margaret did this to me. Oh, please, everything always goes back to her. Like no matter what the situation is, always I did something to Teresa. And then we see there's just so much going on. It's a really weird thing to recap. It's that scene where it was just the big fight. They're just replaying the big fight. So then Danielle goes off crying to the bathroom and Aiden's screaming,

oh, I thought I was the crier, but you're the one crying. You're the one crying here, but I thought I was the crier, but you're the one crying, you're the one crying here, but I thought I was crying at home, baby. And they're all calling each other disgusting. And, you know, all that good stuff. Jen Fessler storms out because she can no longer take this low class bullshit, so she leaves. And then them saying, Jennifer, is it okay if Danielle stays even though she just threw a glass picture at you that was never shown on the air, which we're still not gonna talk about in this reunion.

There's another thing that they haven't talked about. And Danielle say, or Jennifer allowing her to stay. And then basically everybody, yeah. Now Danielle's watching Jennifer Aiden on screen, and then she's like, okay, well, brush your hair, bitches. It's just me. What's happening? They just love tearing each other down with the way they look.

And so Melissa's like, yeah, by the way, I didn't get the black memo. I guess that everyone's wearing black. Huh? Huh? That was funny too, everyone, right? That was funny. That was funny for me. Listen, Danielle, I understand that you're furious, but I'm sure you wish that you hadn't gotten to that point where you jumped over the table."

And she goes, Yeah, well, I regret, of course, not killing her. That's what I regret. I should have fucking killed her when I had the chance to kill her. And I didn't. I let her go. That's my regret. That's my regret. Fester's like, I was trying to help you out there a little bit, you know, I was mad at that truck. He didn't see me ram it off the road. So press is like, well, you and I are very different. Okay. You fuck James Gandolfini. I'm a star and kids, Bob, we're just different worlds.

Well, it's not that different. I mean, I understand you being furious, but the violent piece of it, I'm sure you regret. Let's try this a second time around. So Teresa's like, oh my God, I don't like being around that. My man, so what? Oh my God, you fucking hypocrite. And then she's like, okay guys, well, I took, I took my frustration out on the table that time.

Yeah, in season one, Teresa, but you've fucking thrown things at people. How many seasons last season was last season the season they were in the country Western bar and she just earthquake. Oh shit, that was a big one. No, it's a big one. I had to dumb. Are you okay? Yeah. Did you fall or did you jump out of your seat? No, the screen screen is like falling down. Hold on. Yeah, that was a big one. That was a big one. Of course, it happened on camera. Guys, I hope no one dropped anything on themselves. Hold on. Let me adjust this green screen. Geez. Most important thing of all is that the green screen has to be okay.

Earthquake. Alright. No, I got under the table because under the desk because I felt the jolt, but then also this green screen made like all this noise and I was like, shit, it's about to fall on me. So I was like, let me get into this desk. Geez, that was a really big one. We've been having a lot of them, huh? I know, wow.

This is not great. That was exciting. Yes, I better check on my house insurance. I don't think I've checked on that. Yeah, just moved here. I'm gonna check on that. I am so mortified at what it must've looked like for me to be diving off camera. I think you just totally saw the difference between us during a

natural disaster. I just never like, Whoa, Ben is like under the table with a cooler full of diet coats, just in case he gets buried. I'm like, he's like prepared and ready. He's under a bathtub over there. I'm like, smoking. I'm like, whatever. It was a 4.7 and it was two miles south of Pasadena. Wow. Yeah. I, okay. Well, that was exciting. We did it. Okay. So back to the recap. So first it was like, well, listen, I get it. If anyone says anything about my family, Jeff, for example, well, you can say things about

Jeff. Nothing you can say about Jeff will make him less sexy to me. I'll tell you that much. But anybody else, listen, I guess I would want you dead, you know, but there's a line. And I'm sure when you look back at it now, I should have cut off his arms. That's what I should have done. I should have taken each arm and stoned him to a fucking head, that goddamn idiot. I'm sure what you're saying is you would rather not let it live.

That's what I would rather not let it live, fucking bitch. I guess what we're saying is maybe it's good to use your words. Like, yeah, I want to use my words. Like, I want to fucking kill you. I want to stab you in the face with a chopstick right now. Okay, maybe not those words. So Danielle learns no lesson. So she's like, okay, I guess, you know, well, I have self control moving forward in my life and I got a 30 year old mother, 39 year old mother,

a tool. Yeah. All right. I'll be better. All right. I was like, okay, Jesus, was that so hard? We're trying to not get you kicked off the show as we're trying to get our side renewed ma'am. Can you just pretend you have some fucking moral decency for five minutes? Yeah. I have no idea where we are because I'm still on the adrenaline high of ducking under a desk from an earthquake. Do you want to take a minute and come back? No, no, I just need to see where we are in our notes. I just, I remember, I just, I'm just lost in my notes. Okay. Well, I'll just keep going till you finish. Yeah, I just need to see where we are in our notes. I just, I remember I just, I'm just lost in my notes. Um, okay. Well, I'll just keep going till you...

Yeah, you just keep going. So then, um, Marge is like, you're better than that. Now, do I have evidence that you are? No. But you know what? There are better things to throw. I mean, a pitcher, nobody could have water after you threw that pitcher. You know, some of us need it. Okay. I've been living on diet cokes and coffee, iced coffee. Like, you think that Snickers creamer is gonna pass itself through my system? No, I need water. All right. And Danielle's like, she's like, I will never let somebody get me to that point ever again.

Cut to five minutes from now at Starbucks. What the fuck is wrong with his ass? For a latte, not a fucking cold brew? Why do I even want a cold brew? I'm not kids kid's bop. And also making it, somebody else got her to that point. It had nothing to do with her. So then back in the other, so now Marge is talking, okay, so now we go to the Laura, who was talking to the ex basically. And Margaret's like, I never talked to the ex until after New York. And Teresa is like, liar, liar, liar. And Jennifer's like, own it baby, just own it. And so Teresa

is saying, look, she's nervous, she looks nervous. And she goes, yeah, you know what, so we did have a reunion review, it wasn't a summit, but we did talk about Louis. And Rachel Food is like, yeah, because he hired a private investigator. Of course, we're going to get together and talk about him. And Dolores makes sure to go, now see, of course I'm not invited to that. You think I was invited to that? Dolores. Trying too hard, babe. How hilarious that she would even think that she invited me when clearly I was never sent a text or any sort of DM on Instagram about this whatsoever. So then we see on screen the discussion about like, you know, you fuck up, you fuck a plumber

and like, oh my God, but your father was a cobbler. And Jennifer Aiden is like, that's a cobbler, baby. Why would she have sex with a pie? She's like, it's a shoemaker. Oh, like you got it right to Batman. I love his work. So then, so then we get to this Rachel and Teresa fighting and Teresa saying, so Rachel saying you don't have the right to speak about my husband.

And then Teresa being like, but you talked about my husband first. Yeah, because your husband hired a private eye to go after the women, Teresa. That's why. My God, Teresa is just such an idiot. It's hard. It is hard keeping up. Pete Yeah. Jared And he really does a good job of running it in circles to where she just gets people so confused. All of this is because your husband's a fucking creepy, possibly abusive person. Pete Yeah. Jared He has exes

coming out of the woodwork. He's got all these terrible stories. He's got all these shady business deals. He's calling women fucking skanks on national TV saying he wants them to suffer. In a transcend tee shirt. We can see what kind of man this is. Okay? You're with a shitty person who's causing all of this and you're backing him up and helping him. And then you're acting like it's everyone else's fault. It's you. It's you. usual. It's you. You're the fucking menu pick. You're the vile nasty lady. It's you. So then we get to the part where I'm not even going to give

her a hit song for it. You don't even get the Taylor hit. Okay. You're going to get like Sophie B Hawkins, third single just never even charted and her career was over after that. Then we got to Margaret dropping the bomb that Jackie met with his ex in 2021. And Melissa's like, see, she tried to lie first. And then Jennifer Aiden's like, oh, whatever. Mark was the ringleader, baby. And so then Margaret's like, Jackie, proven liar, proven liar, such a fake. And they're all just diving in about how Jackie's a total fake. We see Jackie confirm on screen, which goes, yes, I did meet with her, I did meet with her, but nothing ever came out. Nothing ever came out. And then she even tries to back it up. She goes, you know, I never leaked shit. I never, never, ever leaked shit. All I did was I met with her and I got myself a dossier so that way I could

leak shit, but I didn't actually leak shit. And that's what matters the most. So then Margaret in the other room is saying, oh, she wanted to ruin Teresa and that warrior video was out there. So basically the warrior video, no matter who was at fault here, that video was already out there. That lady was writing an article in People Magazine, that video was already out there. And of course they wanted to hear about it because Teresa is always coming for everybody. But at that time, Margaret was kind of friends with Teresa. And I think the whole cast was like, why are you with this abusive guy? You shouldn't be with this abusive guy, get away from this guy. I don't think they were like, let's use this against Teresa and make her look stupid. They were like, uh, danger.

Did I lose you? He's scary. No, they're just like danger. He's terrifying. Get away from him. Yeah. I, sorry. The reason, the reason I'm looking up, I'm trying to find the actual day, like when that, that video dropped, you know what? I'm not even going to bother. It's like February, 2022. I'm not having to bother. But yeah, he is shitty. He's really terrible. And everything has gotten sidetracked with who dropped the video when, and no one's talking about the fact that the video is just like strange and creepy. Like, why are we getting bogged down on the details of the release when we should be getting bogged down with how terrible this guy is?

You know? Pete Slauson The content of the video is this guy had to go to a retreat because he was so verbally and emotionally abusive that he was terrifying and he had to go to a retreat of men where he had to take, learn to take responsibility for his anger and apologize to someone and promise that he would try to get better and less insane. That was the content. So when any of your friends see that, they're going to be like, bro, maybe don't date the guy or watch, what do you think about the video? They're going to at least ask. And then Teresa had a fit saying, I can't believe you brought it up

on TV. You're trying to burst my love. Well, because Teresa was very committed to the story of her life, which is that she went through hardship. She went to jail. She divorced her husband. Everything was shitty and here comes a Prince Charming. I think she's just committed to the fairy tale and did not want anyone to pop the love bubble fairy tale for her.

And I mean, I don't know, I don't have to explain this because this is like three years old. But yes, the point is, Louis says. Yeah, well, I mean, we've all, you know, we don't have to, you know what, you know what, God bless, God bless. So, So Jackie's like, well, look, two things can be true. I was talking to the ex, but so was she. And she was like, but she said she only spoke to last in New York. She was, oh, no, no, no, no. She spoke to her way, way before. And I had no place in that. You know, I stopped talking three years ago, not years ago, please. This was 2021, Jackie.

Let's stop acting like you're talking about the 1920s. I would also like, you know, if we did have a reunion, I would have liked a clarification from Marge when she said after New York, what did that mean? Was that in New York in 2023? Was that New York 2022? Like what was quote unquote New York? 2022, like what was quote unquote New York? So then, um, let's see. So Teresa is still still saying evil, evil, you'll swear on anything. And Melissa is like, Oh my God, but we have proof. Can I say the what we're seeing on screen is Margaret saying I

swear on my son's life that I didn't put anything in social media and Teresa is saying like, wow, how evil of her to swear on anything. I was like, Teresa, how many times has she said, I swear on my daughters, I never did that. Pete Slauson Literally, she says, they show the clip in this episode of when she goes, I swear on my daughters, I didn't say that about Evan to hurt Jackie. Oh, really? You didn't go from person to person at their anniversary or his birthday dinner, whatever that was, saying that he was having an affair with people at the gym. Jared Slauson Yeah, like if it wasn't for the Marvelous wonderful place, you should have sat down Jackie, right? And been like,

you need to know this, right? Like the way Beth needed it with Luanne. So, and by the way, the look of glee on Teresa's face when she was telling people, like, it was not just an informative, like everyone at this party should know it was, she was happy and she was there to ruin lives. So, so then Melissa saying bloggers, you know, we have proof and she was there to ruin lives. So so then Melissa saying bloggers, you know, we have proof that she was speaking to bloggers and Jennifer Aiden was like, Oh, no, she Oh, no, she was talking to bloggers. Oh, no. Yeah, exactly. There's proof she was talking to bloggers. They're just going back and forth about these bloggers. And Melissa's like, What the hell we have proof that they were talking to bloggers,

which they never get into, by the way. So then they're like, why is it so obviously Teresa's okay with Jackie's backstabbing because now she's got her in her pocket, which basically Teresa is such an idiot. Jackie's a burnt asset. Jackie's not on the show anymore. She's a friend of, and she's not going to be able to get any more information from Marge in that whole side. She's burnt. Sorry, you're toast. Get rid of her. If this were slow horses, she'd be capped.

Right. So Melissa's talking about Jackie. She goes, what a joke. Right now, Jackie's sitting in that room with Teresa being like, oh, Teresa, you know I did that because you did that. You were good. And we're good, me and you. Don't worry, we're good."

And I actually was shocked, but you just did not cut to Jackie saying that, because you know Jackie was definitely saying that down there. Yeah, for sure. Well, yeah, they just showed it, where she was like, "'Theresa, you know that I never would have met with her,' and I stopped seeing her, like the second I saw her

that one time, it's in March, so all those other times, it had nothing to do with me.' And they cut to her being like, "'Yeah, Jackie's probably like, not me, Teresa. Which is exactly what she was doing. And Teresa says she doesn't care because she hurt Jackie first, which is hilarious. And you know that it's strategic because Teresa would never admit to hurting anybody first if she didn't need to say that for strategy reasons. Well, the other thing is that Teresa, so Teresa's mindset is that like,

okay, it was okay for Jackie to meet with Laura because they were in a feud at the time. So it made sense that she would do it. I don't hold it against her because she needed to get ammo against me, yada, yada, yada. But for Margaret to meet with her, we weren't in a feud. She's pretending to be nice to my face. So this is why she's the root of all evil because we were on good terms and she just did it anyway. But then if you knew that Margaret had done this to the point where like you'd subpoenaed her and everything, you only got mad at Margaret for doing this once Margaret exposed you for hiring Bo Deedle and harassing her son. So like, I don't like it.

Pete No, she was accusing her before that. Remember when they were in the fight and she was saying, maybe you called somebody, maybe you called somebody, maybe you called somebody to bring this information out. But she only considered Margaret the root of all evil, only hated Margaret with a deep, undying passion this year after Margaret exposed Teresa first. So it just goes to show how Teresa, she warps her logic to fit her worldview.

Oh my gosh. Okay, so they keep talking about this a little bit and then they see the train pass because there's no resolution, right? And Teresa's like, I had resolution because I feel vindicated because the truth came out. Pete Slauson The truth came out that you completely ignored when Marge said that Jackie was the one meeting with that chick and you just completely ignored it and are still ignoring it and pretending that this is all Marge.

Does she know what vindicated means? I'm not sure she knows what it means. There was no vindication. Like you could argue that there was no vindication for anyone, but like one thing that you can't argue was that there definitely was a vindication for Teresa. If anything, there was vindication for Mark Ripp and that's, and that's it. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. So basically, um, Dolores looks, looks out the window and a train goes by and and Danielle goes, the train has left the station, everyone. Kids Bop Express on a two o'clock train headed

to DC. And Melissa's like, yeah, there goes the train. Yeah, Melissa, I just said that. What part of the train just left the station? She's not in the stand. You stupid fucking bitch. So then Jackie's assuring the girls that she never leaked stuff to bloggers, guys. And even Jackie's saying this, even when she knows that Teresa and Jen have been talking to the blogger, it just all makes Jackie even sadder, you know, which I didn't know was possible, but here we are. And so Jackie's like, I met with the ex in February of 21 and she sent me the warrior video after it was already in someone else's hand. Like, I had no part in leaking it. And Dolores is like, so the ex sent it to you, she probably sent it to other people. Yes, that's the point.

They were going to everybody with this info. She was going to everybody with this information. Everyone. So then like the screen goes black and then we see sort of like it kind of ends with them all sitting and addressing the camera straight on and they're just saying things. And Melissa's like, and that's the end folks. That's all folks. It's like, Melissa, are you just doing afternoon cartoons? I am. I am. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I want to waste drunk. Just kidding. She's like I would like having Jen in my home that dirty fucking bitch Do I have any regrets not really, you know I didn't really do anything wrong except like that one time I left my snickers creamer at the cafe in tenafly and I went A whole day. I had my coffee black. I regret that I regret that I regret that Serena from tenafly didn't answer her phone So when I said, can you please get my my snickers coffee creamer? She couldn't bring it to me

So the whole day was awful. So I regret that not everything else I'm fine with Yeah, and nobody has regrets and I guess that's kind of the problem. Nobody will take responsibility for anything Aiden is like you deserve that for me one same on me for me try same on you for me three times You buy me a new car if you fuck somebody else in my pool house bitch. Sorry, Bill. Oh, I guess by the way, sorry, I think I misspoke. I thought this was the end where they were sitting and addressing the camera, but this seems like they were still just talking in the in rails.

My bad. Oh, yeah, it's still going. So then Rachel, her big regret is not exposing Louie for who he really was. And then Aidan, basically everybody's like doing the end, kind of, you know, an end run, basically. Yeah. And everybody's demanding that they get an apology because Jackie's like, well, Teresa, I know you're not going to reconcile with Melitha ever, but do you ever think there's a road moving forward with you and Margaret? She goes, oh, yeah, she gets on her knees

and begs me and like begs me for forgiveness for what she's done to that. You know, it's been like a hard four years. Like look how many people this woman's like trying to destroy. It's been like rough. Who? I have who else has been destroyed? Like who else has been on this cast that she's tried to destroy? Like maybe Jennifer Aiden. I'm sure she's going to list Siggy. She'll probably list Siggy. She'll list Jennifer Aiden. Laura. She'll say Laura. But it's like, this is not someone who is like, like on a path of destruction here, you know? But for Teresa, like, look how many people. And Louis has a lot, a lot more destructive path of women he's tried to destroy and it's all

out there. So yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. So Rachel's like, Melissa, how do you feel? It sucks. Okay, great. Thanks. And Margaret's like, you know, this, you know, there are certain relationships you can never ever mend. And Melissa's like, yeah, it sucks. But at the same time, I couldn't be happier in a weird way, like, to be over. Like, I feel relieved. I feel so relieved that I can just sit back and focus 100% on Envy and Franklin Lakes, my boutique that I'm just so happy that I get to focus on that 100% of the time. I'm really, really thrilled that that's my future now. Can't wait. JAYLEE Yeah. And so they're all like, well's no one's perfect, but it's over. And I guess it's over now. And this was the end. And so we don't know if they've all been fired. They're

all talking like they've gotten fired, but who knows? And then, you know, that's it. They talk about how much life they get to have. And Rachel goes, yeah, there's so much life to be had, especially because I'm pregnant. And everyone starts jumping around screaming, super thrilled. She's like, you got to have me back, Bravo. I'm going to have a baby, baby storyline. Come on, Bravo. And they're like, they love a baby storyline on here. So that's the way that ended. So yeah. Well, we'll see what happens with next season. I guess we'll just have to wait with Beta Breath and, you know, Bravo's been retooling a lot of shows lately. We'll see. We will see. Yeah, bye everybody. Well, this has been a fun

season and we thank you so much for being with us. Join us tonight for Crappy Hour and we'll talk to you next time. Okay? Bye everybody. Thanks for being with us for this very special earthquake episode, by the way. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trickles. She's never scary. It's the green fairy. Jamie. She has no less namey. Hava Nagila Webber.

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