Watch What Crappens - #2519: RHODub S02E10 Part 2: Swingers in Bali

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

This is part two of a two-parterThis week on Real Housewives of Dubai, Stanbury attempts to smooth things over with Ayan, and fallout from the dress debacle threatens to tear the group apart.... To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens, watch what happens, guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye, enjoy the show.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Okay, so then we go to Chanel getting her glam and she's still stewing about Stamberry. And she's like, I've really tried to get to know Stamberry and now look at everything. I cannot believe it. I put so much work into this relationship. I will never forgive her. I will never forgive her. And like, just in case people forget, this is just Chanel not wanting to deal with the fact that she really was the one that fucked up in the situation.
Starting point is 00:01:13 And it's just easier to be mad at Stanbury than at herself. Let's be honest. I mean, Stanbury did fuck up. It wasn't cool to share that voice note with everybody. It wasn't her thing. It is pretty funny watching Chanel get this crazy over it when it was her bad. Yeah. I mean, yeah, maybe Stan Bray maybe like stepped out of line a little bit, but it's like not to the point where it's like the friendship ends over it, right? Like, and we've seen the flashback a little bit later. It was all, it was brought up casually with a fun, like, ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:01:44 And then, you know, they joked about like, let's bring it up in Bali. So it was not, this was not like a vaulted secret. They did joke about it. And something else, something else that is really weird is that Chanel said last week, this, what she was so pissed about was that she told Lisa before the dinner about the voice note. And she said, someone sent me this voice note and they're giving, no, no, she said, people are giving me pressure to play the voice note at the dinner. So she told Lisa and what she got mad about was that Lisa pretended that she had never
Starting point is 00:02:15 heard of it and that she was suddenly so betrayed and that now she was saying she can't trust Chanel and she's so betrayed when Chanel told her all of this beforehand. So it's all very confusing and I'm not really sure what's going on. And also that Lisa is acting like she just shared the voicemail because she wanted a clarification about who they're talking about. When like Sarah is the one who showed that like, no, it was pretty obvious. We were talking about Talene the whole time or whatever it was. And now Lisa is going to play like, oh, what? I had no idea. I was just,
Starting point is 00:02:46 it wasn't me being, I wasn't being messy on my end. I was just asking for clarification from Chanel, even though if you really wanted clarification, you could have just asked Sarah, like, wait, are you talking about to lean here? You know, like it's like, they're all kind of, they've all kind of messed up and they're all blaming each other, someone else for the reason why they messed up. Well, then it leads to the question, is it because not all the voice notes were sent? Like, did Sara send some voice? Did Lisa only share the voice note that was confusing? And that's why there was no context to understand it? Or did Chanel just misunderstand the whole thing? The whole thing, it's like, it's kind of confusing no context to understand it. Or did Chanel just misunderstand the whole thing?
Starting point is 00:03:25 The whole thing, it's kind of confusing, but it's not mysterious enough to stay interested in it. It's also so stupid that the fact that friendships are going to end over this. We know that Chanel and Lisa are no longer friends. And I think this is the root cause of it. This is where things start to go awry. And to know that this is what caused it is so ridiculous. Well, it seems like it, because it is like a petty little thing. But if it is true that
Starting point is 00:03:54 Lisa was saying, okay, I know about this voice note, you should bring it up at the dinner. And then the minute Chanel does, Lisa goes, oh my God, you betrayed me. How could you betray me? And then throws this big sobbing fit. Like she's just been wronged by her best friend and she'll never be able to trust again. I can see why Chanel would be like, fuck you. Using me for a storyline. I thought we were friends and now you're going to villainize me to get like more, you know, airtime. Fuck off. Yeah. I think it's just there.
Starting point is 00:04:20 If this is truly what leads to their break as friends, then there's deeper issues at play for sure. So anyway, where were we? Or it's Housewives. Or it's just Housewives. Yeah, or it's just Housewives-ery. So now they're going to their activity days. So we've got the ladies, some of the ladies doing the ATVs
Starting point is 00:04:44 and it is just wacky times guys. It's wacky. And then the others go to, Stambury and Chanel go to their swing. Yeah. So the ATV people are assembling and they're going to get on these ATVs. By the way, I would, I am not an ATV person. None of this looked appealing to me whatsoever. I'm like, wow. I am not an ATV person. None of this looked appealing to me whatsoever. I'm like, wow. Oh, hold on, hold on. Wait for the shock to just wash over the audience
Starting point is 00:05:10 really quickly. Gosh, you know what I would love to do is get on a vehicle that famously flips over and breaks people's necks. And this time let's ride it through like giant puddles of water and mud. No. One thing Ben loves, danger. Yeah. Ben loves danger.
Starting point is 00:05:27 What is the thrill from an ATV? Ben loves pointless danger. What is the thrill? Where does the thrill come from? Let's not forget invite only Cabo where that girl got thrown off of her ATV and wound up in the hospital. I had fun. She'd do it again. Let's just not forget that show in general. It was, it was a overlooked, it was an overlooked classic. It was so good. Why did they not bring it back? It was such a good show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Okay. So then, Stambury and Chanel make small talk at the swings and then they finally get into it. And she's like, look, we've gotten to a really good place and the message went left for both of us. It was not how I expected it to go. And I didn't know it was from Lisa. Had I known it was from Lisa, I wouldn't have done that to you. You know, you didn't tell me it was from Lisa. I can't, I don't know who to properly villainize if you don't label the people, darling. But I trusted you. And you called me out. And I was like, what? And I have my best friend who's
Starting point is 00:06:22 pissed with me, because she feels like, hey, I sent you that voice note for you. So now Lisa is like, I don't trust you, which I never had someone say that to me and you blindsided me. And like, you didn't have to throw me under the bus like that without talking to me, by the way, has the Apple corporation ever been more proud that their voice note feature is finally being talked about in a relevant way. Cause no one, like we all hate voice notes. No one likes, no one likes to receive them and to hear it now talked so intensely about in a pop cultural setting, Apple's like, finally, finally, finally, we've been waiting years to get this thing off the ground for this thing to
Starting point is 00:07:03 sound like just Apple vision each other. We've been waiting for years for this thing waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years.
Starting point is 00:07:12 We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years.
Starting point is 00:07:20 We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We've been waiting years. We sent her my apple. We're getting this thing to work. My apple doodle. I couldn't believe it. My apple doodle. I cannot believe you sent her that slow picture of a drawing of a heart going. So has anybody ever made anything with that other than a heart? That's the only thing I know how to do with that where you draw.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Yeah. Remember it? God, I hated those things. There was a period of time when they would come up like they were really trying to push it. So they'd come up accidentally. So like there's so many accidental little doodles you send to people. And by the way, Apple notes, I mean, Apple voice notes, they are trying to make that a thing because I can't tell you how many times I pick up my phone and it's been recording me like, Oh, you wanted to send a voice note. And she was like, I was just walking around my kitchen for 10 minutes and now I have a 10 minute voice note that's about to be sent off to my mom, you know, like stop and erase.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Oh yeah. I do that all the time. How many times have you looked down at your text messages and it's been recording you for five, five minutes, right? Yeah, a lot, a lot of times. And it's never recording anything good because when I think I'm not being recorded, I mean, I'm like this normally, can you imagine what I'm like just walking around the house pattering? Constant crazy. Okay. Okay. So basically, Stambury is just apologizing and she's like, that wasn't my intention. I didn't mean to blow up your relationship. She goes,
Starting point is 00:08:39 well, then what was your intention? Well, she, you know, it wasn't the intention because she didn't know it was from Lisa. I was just trying to have a little bit of fun with Sarah and Brooks. That's all I was trying to humiliate them. Not you and Lisa. You don't understand. Have you ever heard of the concept of friendly fire? It happens.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Okay. So, Stamber is like, you know, she knows this was to poke a little fun at Sarah. And by poke a little fun, I mean humiliate her, make her cry, make her leave the dinner party, make her leave the show. I don't know. And she was having a laugh with me when she told me this. And this is where we see the flashback of when Chanel brought up the voice note to her and to lean like it was just, it was at this point, it's out there.
Starting point is 00:09:15 It's public. If it gets, if it, you know, if it, if it leaves that sphere of, um, of well, whatever that, that protected sphere of voice note privilege, it's on you. You're telling too many people. Yeah. And Stember is like, yeah, she's mad at herself basically. And Ayaan says, you know, I started to trust you and Lisa was like, she's going to screw you over, so don't trust her. And I didn't listen. And then you did, you know, you did exactly what she said. And one of my favorite things in the world is when people tell me they trust me, because I've never done anybody like that. Yeah, but you did.
Starting point is 00:09:56 You just did it. So, I mean, like doing all these monologues, I get why you're hurt and why you feel stupid, and nobody likes to get yelled at by their friend, but you were the one who did that. You did it, you did it. Semper is like, listen, how can I explain this to you? Last season, everyone had high expectations from me and I was kind of a flop and you were the fan favorite. This season, I'm just trying to get in with the fan favorite again. Why would I jeopardize that? I've done so much work. Why would I just throw it all out over a voice note? Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I was not trying to embarrass you. Yeah, and so basically Chanel finally accepts it, you know, but she's like,
Starting point is 00:10:38 because Sam Bray says, we don't have to become best friends right now. Let's just take a step back. But I really am sorry. I'm not going to bother you." And she's like, okay, I love that. So, then Chanel goes, do I regret playing the voice note? No. Okay. Because that's what you go out with your friends and you connect about something stupid and silly. And so now that she's forgiven Stanbury, she's like, now what I'm bothered about is seeing Lisa in a different light because she called me out and said she doesn't trust me. So now she says, maybe I'm hating Stanbury because I hate the feeling of how I felt that night, which is, I think, not a bad theory.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I think it's easier to hate Stanbury because they don't have as good of a relationship. But the truth is she realizes she feels hurt by Lisa regardless of whether or not it's entitled. She does feel hurt by Lisa and that makes her, that's an uncomfortable place to be in. So it's just easier to focus that energy onto Caroline. But now Carol, the thing is this, Stanbury gave a really good apology. Like she did not, there was no, but there was no, there was no, um, try to see it from my point of view kind of situation.
Starting point is 00:11:46 She just kept on apologizing and Chanel when Chanel was protesting, she just kept on apologizing and being like, you know, I can't make you trust me. You just have like, you know, we're just gonna have to see what happens. But she just was like, she apologized sort of so relentlessly that Ion kind of had no, uh, no other choice but to kind of accept it. And that's when she realizes like, okay, well, I can't really be mad at Caroline anymore.
Starting point is 00:12:11 So it makes me kind of have to confront my feelings about Lisa. Yeah. So then back to the other ladies, Sarah loves, I love writing ATV in Dubai. I'm addicted to it. It's a good way to release some adrenaline and get rid of some stress. You know, for someone so peaceful, Sarah is having to scream into a lot of pillows and waterfalls and get on very dangerous thrill ride adventures.
Starting point is 00:12:37 That's a good point. And then they come up, come across a cow. Um, our note taker, Jessica described the cow as an agile cow, which I think, I think that's a good way to put it. An agile cow approaches them and this cow is not happy. This cow is like, if I, this is the, this cow is the equivalent of the lady saying like, okay, if your ball gets onto my porch, I keep it. I'm keeping this ball. And this cow was like, I'm sick of this ATV coming into my backyard. Okay. You want to come into my backyard? You're going to get a piece of me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:04 This is my, this is my little piece of dirt. Okay, you want to come into my backyard, you're gonna get a piece of meat. Okay, this is my this is my little piece of dirt. Okay, don't come here. Don't come here. I love when humans see cows and like, oh my god, it's a cow. That's so scary. Get away from the cow. What do you think the cow feels like you're gonna eat it, you're gonna grab its tits and just start poking them. You're gonna force it to get pregnant, steal those babies, they can keep giving you shit
Starting point is 00:13:23 for your cereal. Get the fuck out of here. You're scared of the cows. We do way worse things to cows than they do to us. That's for sure. Team cow. They're like, the cow's going to charge. I was like, team cow, 100%. Talene's like, remember bad cow disease? This motherfucker had it. So that cow does charge with them, which is great. And I love Talene trying out all her new material on the show. What's the deal with cows? Am I right?
Starting point is 00:13:48 Utter madness. Cows. Wow. That cat's really, that cow's really getting some camera time. Huh? Way to milk it, cow. I wish that cow would just move. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:04 So now back to the swing. They're joking like, oh, any last words before we go with the swing? And so they do the swing and it changes their life because it's really beautiful. And Chanel does it and she goes, oh, no, it's beautiful. It's so beautiful, Caroline. I'm having like 1% forgiveness in you." She goes, oh great. And then, um, Caroline does it and she's just like, oh disgusting. So now the ladies finished their ride and they had back to the villa and Lisa's like, so how was the swing? And she knows like, oh, I actually thought it was going to be scary, but like once you get out there, it was so beautiful. She's like, well, I'm glad you guys had fun. We got you back. How He's like, oh, it was hard when we first sat down,
Starting point is 00:14:45 but I was telling her what happened, but we're good. We had fun after that. So Lisa's like, you know what? Ayaan and Stanbury, I'm stepping away from it and I'm gonna let them deal with their shit because I want no part. I was like, okay, well, thanks for that update. And then Saba and Sarah are talking about what to wear later.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Tropical suits, shawls, I don't know. That's what they're talking about. And then Saba's like, are you okay? You seem really stressed. Is it because you hate the culture of the people here? Do you need to go another ATV ride to release some of that anxiety? And Sarah's like, I'm very stressed.
Starting point is 00:15:24 You know what, I have some issues in conflict with the keen, my nut boyfriend who I want to move all the way to another country. And so I was like, what's the problem? Well, he got really upset because I'm going to do a podcast. And the guy that wants to do a podcast like he's a sports figure, and he has shirtless pictures. And he's and so he's like, a woman should not be on a podcast with a guy who has shirtless pictures. And I'm like, what? I'm getting paid $45K to be on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Hey, no, you're not getting $45,000 to be on a podcast. Yeah, that's true. What are you talking about? Well, unless, unless it was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Is it like a podcast deal or is it just like a guest spot? Because if it's a guest spot, no, you're lying. Yeah. And you know what I'm doing right now, right? I'm sorry that I got quiet, but I'm
Starting point is 00:16:09 Googling real housewives Akeem. Yeah, look at that. Well, by the way, let's not take away from the point that this is absolutely like horrific behavior on Akeem's part. Like, fuck you, Akeem. Like as much as Sarah is like so full of it on so many matters, like she gets to decide what she wants to do and you don't get to be a possessive piece of shit. And by the way, you're the one who's shirtless on the Gram, so you better get over it, sir. Well that's what I'm looking up to see, like if he's shirtless in all of his pictures, because I mean, he's an Instagram trainer, so I'm sure he is.
Starting point is 00:16:40 He's shirtless on this show, doesn't even matter. They have flashbacks of him shirtless on in the pool of this show Okay, someone is allowed by the way people take off their shirts in life. It happens So Sarah is allowed to well, especially when they work that hard on it It's like asking Picasso to walk around with curtains to put over his paintings. That's not what he does. This art Okay, what I mean, it's like asking to lean to not share her beautiful voice with the world I mean, it's like asking to lean to not share her beautiful voice with the world. You are the way beneath my wings. Besides, I can't got to do it guys share your arm and Sarah shows up on that guy's podcast. It's going to go in the
Starting point is 00:17:12 tank. It'll be the lowest rated episode. Yeah. Sarah's so fishy, though. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. So she's like, I don't know if they broke up. And so now she's like, this is a keen who knows with her, but I'm shocked. I'm shocked that it didn't work out with a keen. Let's just leave it at that. So then you should do something about it. Thanks, Saba. Thanks for that. Thanks for that insight. And Sarah tells us after I get back from Bali, I have a big podcast scheduled. It's about my awakening experiences and my entrepreneurship,
Starting point is 00:17:44 which of course I'm going to discuss with an athlete where I get to share my experiences with people so I can help everyone in the community. And I get the phone call from Makin and he gave me like an order. He's like, this podcast, you think that you're doing, you're not doing it. So actually it sounds like she has a podcast deal and she's invited this athlete on and the athlete is shirtless somewhere. Well, who else would be doing a podcast about awakening experiences other than a guy who's not got a shirt on? Like, hello, does the king know how this works?
Starting point is 00:18:14 Okay, look at the chart. I want to talk about my awakening experiences and my entrepreneurship, and I want to share my experiences with only hot people. There's someone I used to follow on Instagram who was like just like a hot guy. And he started a podcast and it was like all about relationships
Starting point is 00:18:32 and the only people he would have on his podcast were other like models. And I just thought it was so funny, like models talking to models about relationships. It's like, I don't know why it's like the only people who have insight on relationships and life are other models. It's really hard being with someone whose hot mess is like similar to my own.
Starting point is 00:18:57 It's been a good week for that sort of commentary. You know, what was the other show we just watched with that? Oh yeah, Lodeck. When Gail was talking about her biggest insecurity is driving a tender boat. And you mentioned how hungry you are. Yeah, my biggest insecurity is letting the tender boat down or whatever she said. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Welcome to the Offensive Line.
Starting point is 00:19:24 You guys on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s***, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense. No offense, Travis Kelce, but you got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year.
Starting point is 00:19:47 We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Iuke, T. Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app
Starting point is 00:20:15 or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived. We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brooke Ziffrin.
Starting point is 00:20:36 And we're the hosts of Wondry's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world, to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light as women who use the tools available to them to hold on to power. Some women won the game, others lost, but more often than not, it comes at the expense
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Starting point is 00:22:11 You can listen to And Away We Go exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Georgia, do you know what joy sounds like? I think I'm hearing it right now. So then Sarah is like, you know, well, Saba is like, you know, like if you're financially providing, fine, but there's not even a valid reason. He doesn't even have a reason. Wait, by the way, she's very upset. No, it's not fine. Even if you are financially providing, that's not fine. She's like, well, if you've been paying the bills,
Starting point is 00:22:43 then sure, he'd be allowed to tell you you can't go on to a podcast, but he's not even doing that. No, he's not allowed to say what podcasts you are and aren't allowed to go on no matter how much money he's contributing, which by the way is currently zero. Yeah, but that's why I don't like hearing, and I'm actually glad to hear this conversation of fuck this guy, because it really bothered me hearing the conversation they had before where she was like, I really just want Akeem to be a traditional man and take care of me and pay for everything. And I'm just going to be the traditional woman. I just hate hearing shit like that. I really hate it. And so I'm glad that that's mostly
Starting point is 00:23:16 phony and that the second anything like that really happened, because that is kind of traditional where the man's like, I'm a big jealous beast and you can't go out with other hot men, that is offending my manhood. What will other men think if I let you around to shirk this man? And so I'm glad to hear that that's all bullshit on her part. And when it really comes down to it, she's like, oh, fuck off. I meant you pay for shit. I don't mean you get to tell me what to do because that part really pissed me off last time. So she says, I mean, he says this guy is not good. He doesn't like him. He doesn't know him on a personal level, but he said this guy had a crazy lifestyle
Starting point is 00:23:49 and like, what do I have to do with it? I'm like just doing my job. Which makes me wonder, like, I, Akeen seems like he's a real dick. And so I am very anti Akeen right now, despite him being super hot. But I also wonder, like you said, Sarah sometimes, like I never really know what to believe from Sarah. And it makes me wonder, like, was he saying,
Starting point is 00:24:07 like, you shouldn't have this guy on your podcast because he's like, he's garbage. And he's gonna like, it's gonna be a bad look for you. And then she's saying, giving us this version. But I also don't want to like not believe what she says, because this guy sounds like he's a total dick. So I don't really, I'm leaning more towards that she is a dick and I'm trusting Sarah on this one, but I also am like leaving the door open to hearing another perspective. This is what I've learned to do with Sarah's storylines is not She's a doctor. Okay. She's a doctor. Pete It always leads me into some moral quandary, and it doesn't seem like it would with Sarah, but it's like, what is she even talking about? And is she, is this true? And some of the religious
Starting point is 00:24:54 stuff and some of the calling the police, I've just found it's just better to kind of assume she's just kind of full of shit and just roll with it and just let it wash over me and then move on to the next scene. Jared So, Saba's like, what's that? shit and just roll with it and just let it wash over me and then move on to the next scene. So Sabah's like, well, at some point I'm going to be flying through that place and I don't want to be imprisoned. So Sabah is like, well, I mean, he's not shitless on the podcast with you. Also you have your clothes on.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Okay, I'm about to write a very sternly worded letter to Twitter about this. And Sarah's like, well, I don't understand. I mean, why do I have to lose for him to be happy? Um so Sarah's like, well this is your work Sarah. You don't work with women, you work with men and women. What will Akeen do if he finds out that you also work with other men who eventually will take off their shirt because that's really the only way to take a shower, isn't it? I mean, if you really want to get in there and all the crevices. I just can't believe this hot guy who really is just all about his body that I met at a bar
Starting point is 00:25:56 in a faraway land turns out to be not such a good person. I can't believe it. I can't believe an Instagram. Sarah's like, okay. Sarah's like, he does not believe that men and women can be friends. But aren't you only friends? Haven't you been saying that for four weeks? I'm so confused. So Sarah's like, well, this is work. Is he paying your bills? Is he paying your son bills? She's like, no, then why is he affecting your work and your financial numeration for your hard work? Please, Akeen, stay away from the numeration. Yes, yes, he's, listen, why is he affecting
Starting point is 00:26:31 all of your quote unquote work? What is your work again, by the way? Because apparently I'm a business partner and I still don't understand what we actually are doing. Anyway, that's a different discussion. Yes, but that's why I'm feeling upset, Sabat. She's, well, I don't mean to have a go at you. I just want to call him and I want to shout at him.
Starting point is 00:26:46 You're letting him control you. You're letting him ruin you. And I want to say you can only ruin this woman if you pay her electric bill. Yeah, it's just stressing me. And then like I'm away from my work, quote unquote work, and I'm away from my kid. And it's just like so much.
Starting point is 00:27:03 It's so much. Do you know how hard it is to be away from my desk? That's very dusty because I don't do anything on it. What is Sarah's work again? What is she? Is she, she's coming out. She has a product that she's coming to market with. Is that what it was earlier this season? Girl, nobody knows what Sarah does. I know that I Googled her one time. There was kind of a deep dive. Yeah. And she does some kind of seminars where she's like, come out here for $10,000 and we'll,
Starting point is 00:27:27 you know, make you make clear your energy and you can scream into a water fountain until all of your trauma is gone. And last season she had something. It's all worth it. So it's like a drive-through car wash for trauma. Imagine if she just had a car wash. She's like, I have to get back to the car wash. You know, it's a lot of sand in Dubai. People need their car washes. Trauma wash. They can call it a scar wash. So now everyone's getting ready. People are decorating and Caroline Stamberry has bought a whole bunch of penis bottle openers. And she goes, you know, I said, I found a penis and I found another penis. And you know, in Bali, they worship the penis, you know.
Starting point is 00:28:12 So then she tells us that, by the way, these are wooden penis bottle openers. So Bravo does not have to blow them out because they're not sex toys. And after getting over the initial shock of going to Bali and seeing penises everywhere, I then understood that it's something spiritual to them. And it was just so refreshing to see all these penises after living with a giant pussy named Sergio. So they are meant to bring strength and money and things like that. They pray to them. So now they start talking about the legality of penises in Dubai. And Chanel's like, well, I can't take this to Dubai. It's illegal to have a penis that is not connected to the human body. And Sarah's like, yeah, oh, if you're on the Dubai airport with these things, they'll be
Starting point is 00:28:57 confiscated and you will be warned. And Stamber is like, I know a lot of girls who've gotten into trouble, quote unquote trouble, as you say, but you get taken off and it gets taken away. That's all. So funny. Um, so then they're talking about Sarah being, uh, she's still stressed. Oh yeah. No, they're still talking about dildos. So Stamber is like, Oh yes, I've known a lot of girls who've gotten into, well not trouble, I wouldn't say that about Dubai because we never say that about Dubai on this show, but you know,
Starting point is 00:29:28 they weren't celebrated. They were taken off and given stone warning and their penises were taken away. The amount of dildos they confiscate in the Dubai airport, you have no idea. So Lisa says, yeah, I got caught coming through with like a little vibrator because I was traveling. So obviously I need my vibrator when I'm traveling, which then has me questioning what is going to happen with all these bottle openers. They just bought them, they're going to leave them behind. That feels wasteful. There's some employee at the Dubai airport that's just like, has a dick room at home.
Starting point is 00:29:59 They've just got piles and piles of dicks. DSA, Dick Security Administration. Like when weed became legal and everybody started putting it in their bags and somebody at LAX or the Texas airport just has like piles of my weed that I would take through the airport. There's someone selling those,
Starting point is 00:30:16 selling those out of Dubai, I guarantee. Yeah, there's like a black market dildo shop from the airport. They're like, wait a minute, I got a dildo from you and I have a peanut allergy. How did I, my peanut allergy get triggered from that dick? Oh, it's from the airline. Isn't it? God damn it.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Someone had it in their carry on. They had in their personal item while they're eating snacks. They're like, they had it on the plane. They had it in their little purse. Like, hold on, I'm just going to have some snacks here. These peanuts are delicious. Let me check on that dildo. Just touched it. Okay, back to my reading. Well, yeah, because everybody just carries it in their purse, it sounds like. So yeah, they were rifling through their purse and they probably touched the dildo and then that eventually
Starting point is 00:31:00 went in somebody and God knows what happened. Oh dear. So a palm reader comes in, an energy palm reader comes in. She's gonna read the energy off their palms. So she enters. She seems very nice. And she does Sarah's reading. She goes, okay, this year love, not good, only your sadness. Like lots of, oh, I'm seeing this line says podcast not going to work out. So think about that. Also, be careful with somebody because they make you sad and angry. Right here, this line, this wrinkle says great body, great great body, but kind of a dick. So maybe leave that person. And this one over here says, yeah, podcasts still not working. This is my favorite psychic ever on Bravo.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Cause she just goes, next year, you're fine. Business, money and love. You can do that next year. This year's a loss. Yeah, this one, this year's just going to suck the whole thing. And Sabba goes, Akeen, he has to go. It's like, how dare you? Because she just like, Akeen has to go, dump him.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Yeah. The samba's over. So then, and everyone's wondering where Brooks is, but it turns out she had some cheese because she was starving and she's lactose intolerant. So she's throwing up in the bathroom. And now it's time for Chanel's, these are all very generic. It's like, oh, you're very busy and you're confused. And Chanel's like, oh, that is so true. I am so busy. And I'm often confused. I'm like, oh, you're very, you're very busy and you're confused. And she knows, oh, that is so true. I am so busy and I'm often confused. I'm like, wow, wow. Really, really a very specific, uh, prediction about your life there.
Starting point is 00:32:36 So then Stamber is like, how old are you anywhere? Let's get back to that storyline. She's like, shut up. This woman just made me feel good. And Lisa's like, well, actually the dentist sent me the records. Dun, dun, dun. So now she tells us that she's going to share the results tonight. She's so excited. So then we get Talene's reading and the lady's like, you are smart, you are loyal, and be careful. Don't trust with woman. She makes you always sadness. And Talene's like, guys, she told me don't trust ever woman.
Starting point is 00:33:07 She makes me sadness. Guys, did you hear that? That's what she said. Makes me sadness. A woman. Who could that be? A woman makes me sad. Cut to Brooks vomiting again.
Starting point is 00:33:20 She goes, Tony, I was just projectile vomiting. I need you to make my face look fresh because today I proved I should not joke around with my lactose intolerance. I'm glad we keep getting shots of the bathroom door while this lady is just unloading. So then the reader, she reads Samber's palm and she goes, okay, you're independent and you're going to have one boy, a baby. And somebody's like, Oh my God, I've got a boy on ice. I'm not sure I like this at all. And she goes, when is it coming to life? Because it's in the freezer. So then she's like, Oh God, we've got enough problems tonight. Please don't
Starting point is 00:33:59 ruin my night with thoughts of little baby Sergio's running around saying baby. Baby honey, come on honey honey honey honey. His first words gonna be honey. I don't even want to tell this to Sergio because then he's going to be like well now we have to have it he's disgusting why don't marry that fool. So then Lisa's like I don't Lisa's skeptical but she's like no I mean she does it anyway and And Lisa says, well, now I know that this palm reader isn't even like, it's a hundred percent fake because like that baby is not coming, not at all. So, so Brooks joins. By the way, praying to idols at a tourist destination,
Starting point is 00:34:38 bad, but psychic, sure, okay. So it's interesting what's religious and what's not. So Lisa's reading is, please control your emotion and don't keep something negative in your heart. And you're very busy and open your heart and open your mind. Okay. This, these can be fortune cookies. Yeah. I need something more. Yeah. I need something more. I need, I need my person to be like you're going to be famous and you're going to get dick. That's what I have to hear. I don't want to just hear a fabulous.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Oh, the board game you, you supported that you backed on Kickstarter is arriving on August 23rd. I need specifics. Okay. I'm like, do I need to be home? Do I need to be home on August? At least give me a delivery update, you know, like hungry roots on the way, you know, something purely for tracking status on packages.
Starting point is 00:35:22 What does my mom tell me about my Amazon package? Something tangible. Do not order the round door knobs. They are going to be a week late and throw off, throw off everything in a remodel. Um, this lady also just keeps on telling everyone to like control their emotions. She keeps on saying like, and you just like control, everything's good, but just control the motion, just to control emotions, which is her way of saying, yeah, I'm staying two villas down
Starting point is 00:35:49 and I can hear you guys at late at night. I'm trying to get some sleep. So let's keep it in, keep it in. I was gonna say, who trained this psychic, the patriarchy? You ladies don't have emotions. Please keep your emotions in check. Yeah, please smile more. You would be so much prettier
Starting point is 00:36:05 if you just smiled more. No podcast with shirtless athletes. You're doing great in your life toots. Wait a minute. Did that psychic just slap me on the ass? It's cultural. So now it's time. The sushi is done. It's cute. And now it's time for dinner and they're going to have Aion's age reveal. So they bring out a tray of cupcakes and the cupcakes all have candles with numbers on them and she has to guess and basically what it turns out to be is that
Starting point is 00:36:36 Chanel's age is somewhere between 45 and 50, which means Sam Berry is like, you're 50. The range is 50 to 50. You're 50 slash 75. Congratulations. You're older than all of us. Also, while we're complaining about people with jobs on this show, what the fuck kind of thing is this? You studied my teeth to give me a five year range of five year range. There's a big difference between 45 and 50. You can't just say between 45 and 50. I need to hear 50. I mean, how many rings are on the tree? God damn it. Is it like ethical to do something like this and then give the results to a different person? Like is that?
Starting point is 00:37:13 Yeah. What happened to the doctor patient privilege? Yeah. So Chanel says that her birth certificate says that she's 42, but she's like, yeah, I could be 50. So Stamber is like, you're 50. You're an old hag. You're dumb and stupid and past your prime. God, it feels good to be the baby in the group. And what's her face? Ayaan's like, I don't care because I know she'll get a facelift before me.
Starting point is 00:37:39 True. So, and she's right. Because like two weeks later, Stamberry goes for it. She goes to town. So then they're eating and Stambury is just like wasted and she's just like laughing and foods coming out of her mouth and behind the table, which is great. She's like, fuck the boarding schools. And Lisa's like, you know, guys, this holiday has been amazing. And as a friend group,
Starting point is 00:37:59 we've had our ups and our downs, but there've been more ups than downs and like that made my soul and my heart so happy, even though you're all bitches for not wearing those dresses. And listen, I know that this is Sarah now talking. I know that we're not working it in Applebee's together because I would never, but I want to say one thing that busboys and waiters say to each other constantly. And they learned it from upper management, which is this ladies, we are all family here. And if you have time to lean, you have time to clean. And if your
Starting point is 00:38:30 name is Teline, please don't lean before you clean, Teline. Which actually, God, I love that. I'm going to go into a poetry contest, a poetry podcast and make about 50K. It's almost like we're in a neighborhood and we're feeling good. We're feeling good in the neighborhood. I'm sorry. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You know what? Here's what we're like as friends. We can stand together, we can look each other in the eye and we can honestly say to one another, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back. Hold on, a toast. I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back. Hold on, a toast. I want my baby back. A toast.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Baby? BK, have it your way. Wait, please, everybody stop. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. Special orders. Don't upset us. Everyone. All we ask is actually lettuce.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Have it your way, have it your way, have it your way. Thank you. We have the meats. That was Arby's. That was Arby's. Just want to clarify. Hold on. I'm so sorry. Sergio, did Caroline just answer a penis? Be quiet. It's cultural. Sergio, what is it? What can I do for you? I heard you singing my favorite song and I've been singing you two over here, so I thought I would call you. What is it, Sergio? I want my baby back, my baby back, my baby back. Give me my baby back. Please, baby, honey, honey, honey, honey.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Well, it's appropriate that you would sing that jingle because chilly is exactly how my vagina feels when I see your face. because chili is exactly how my vagina feels when I see your face. Well then good. It'll be the perfect temperature to put our ice on in. Please, baby, please. You've reached my voicemail again. I wasn't actually talking to you. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Please leave a message after the beep unless you're you. No. Goodbye. So Brooks is like, Stabby, if you do not put down that weeder, I'm gonna drink a cup of milk and poop all over your face. So then, uh, she's just cracking up with her big penis thing. And so Leen's like, this trip wasn't perfect.
Starting point is 00:40:33 What trip is? Am I right? But I'm just so happy that Brooks and I are okay and we can move forward. It could not have ended better. I'm shocked. I still don't believe it, but guess what? I was also shocked when Cinderella found a fucking husband from leaving her shoe in a ball.
Starting point is 00:40:49 I mean, that's crazy, right? But it happened. It's history. So here we are. Let me tell you something. If I tried to run away from a ball, they'd catch me within five seconds, but only because I would have attached a parachute to my back. So gotta get your exercise in anywhere, even if it's after midnight. I mean, Cinderella really, if I had been running a gym in this country when
Starting point is 00:41:05 Cinderella was around, she never ever would have had that story. It would have just been girl tries to run, man catches her, man gets some parachute residue on his face. Boom. The end here. I found your shoe. Go ahead and go home. Do they make toe shoes and glass? Just wondering. I mean, I think it's a good question. I mean, I think it's a good question. I think it's a good question. I think it's a good question. I think it's a good question. Man gets some parachute residue on his face. Boom, the end. Here I found your shoe. Go ahead and go home.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Do they make toe shoes in glass? Just wondering. Ha ha ha ha. So then Brooks is like, hey, I'm gonna pair you up. Let's go have a good time. So she's made a party outside, and there's DJ lighting, and everybody starts dancing. And Brooks is talking about how happy she is that she came.
Starting point is 00:41:44 I never thought by the end of the trip, I'd be toasting with penises, we'll step right to leave, but here we are. Here we are with you. We're having a good time. And they're all waxing poetic Chanel saying, no, we are sisters for life. We argue, we go dirty, we drag each other with love. And Lisa's like, well, you know, even though I, and I had the worst part we ever had, we're moving on, you know, I've forgiven, but not forgotten. Everyone's like just being like, but we're sisters, we're sisters. And then Caroline's like, well, I definitely let my hair down on this trip
Starting point is 00:42:11 and I couldn't behave this way if Sergio had been beside me, he would have dragged me home by my head. He's pathetic. I hate him. I never want to see his face ever again. Like I like that. That's her takeaway. How much she hates Sergio. Everyone else is like, we're sisters, oh my God, we bonded so much, we're amazing, guys, I love you, I love you. And it just, the little circles closing on Caroline's face like, I hope that Sergio dies while I'm away. Who wants to burn this poster of Sergio? In sisterhood. Sergio's grass. You know, one thing that I've come to on this trip is I've really started to think about ways that I could truly find happiness.
Starting point is 00:42:50 And I've decided I'm going to go home and start nagging Sergio and calling him fat, seeing if I can get him to go on a diet for no reason. God, that sounds fun. Throw small queer legs at his face. Just because. Well, I hope that you're prepared for him to have terrible patterns all over his face. What are you talking about? I'm sorry, I thought you said you were going to throw some gay legs at his face.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Hi. Padma Lakshmi, get out of here. Get out of my goddamn show. Hi, I'm here on the vacation too. Surprise, it's me, television's Padma Lakshmi here to promote my latest special called, What's the Deal with Poor People? Am I right? Wait, I have a question. Do we ever talk about this Padma? Do you ever see the clip of Padma doing standup like from last month? No, I saw that she did it, but I didn't know there was a clip of it. This is literally what it was.
Starting point is 00:43:44 She had it like on her own Instagram. her own Instagram. The caption was like, Dear comedic people of New York City, thank you so much for allowing me to express myself and follow my face. Haha, doing standup. Here it is. And so it's her saying, well, I have a daughter. She's going to be a teenager. I'm about to hit menopause. Here are the differences between going into menopause and about to being a teenager. I have hot flashes. She loves boys.
Starting point is 00:44:16 I'm like, wow, I'm getting old. She's like, mom, you're getting old. Thank you so much for coming to my comedy routine. She has TikTok and I just, I have a watch that goes TikTok. It's crazy. She just bought a binder and I have many very famous friends. The differences are astounding. She's against bullying and I'm pro-gay.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Wait a minute. She loves doing that viral TikTok dance to Apple. And I'm like, why are you doing a tribute to Gail's body? She loves Harry Styles and Gail has no styles. She is young and beautiful and Gail's Gail. I don't know, I'm running out of content here. Is there a red light? Is there a red light? Oh no, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:45:09 The only red light going off right now is the stoplight at the dress bar and trying to get Gail from buying another dress. You know what's funny about menopause? It features a word that Gail never applies for eating, pause. I've never seen more men pause than at bars that Gale's sitting at. You know what's funny about a hot flash? It perfectly describes how long food lasts in Gale's presence. It's a hot flash. Wow. I'm starting to sweat in here for no reason. Did someone just bring a tray of meat in front of Gail?
Starting point is 00:45:50 Gail's been so mean to me ever since I started entering Menopause, it must be because I have no more eggs for her. I wanted to have another baby, but Gail ate all my eggs. I'm going through menopause. Gail's just swimming through mashed potatoes again. All right. Well that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Dubai. It's been a great time guys.
Starting point is 00:46:17 We'll be back for another podcast any second now, like literally within the next five minutes. Well, we're about to do- We sure love you guys. any second now, like literally within the next five minutes. Well, we're about to do a bonus episode where we do a trailer trash of the new Roni trailer. So that's true. We all stick around for that. Okay. Yeah, we'll be back with that. Talk about the new season of Real Housewives of New York City.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Until then, we will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee Ferry. Jamie? She has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Starting point is 00:47:22 The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlin O'Neal! Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall!
Starting point is 00:47:43 We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible, edible Matthew sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Ring that bell, pour Rachel! She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke! Shinin' out of a cannon, Anthony! Let's take off with Tamla Plain! She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Coutar! We love you guys! If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since The Witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely?
Starting point is 00:49:13 Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leeroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

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