Watch What Crappens - #2540 RHUGT 0404 Legacy: Down on Bended Neon

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

We never recapped episode four of RHONY Legacy, and since Bravo is re-airing the season, we thought it’s the perfect time to revisit what we missed!  In this ep, Sonja invites the gang onto a yacht, Kristen hosts a neon party, and Kelly acts… like Kelly.  Check out the video version at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Well, hello and welcome to Watch for Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo or Peacock that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on, I believe it's going to be Labor Day here in the United States, Mr. Ronnie Karam, how are you? Well, hello there. What's going on? You know, just another day, just enjoying ourselves. We have a really fun episode today. We are recapping episode four of Roni Legacy, which is Real Housewives, Ultimate Girls Trip,

three or four, I believe. When this originally aired on Peacock, I think it was in December or so, and it was in the middle of the holidays, and there were two episodes that we never wound up actually recapping. There's a gap in our coverage, and it's because it was the holidays. And so usually when that happens, we just move on. But since Bravo is re-airing Girls Trip, so that way people who don't have peacock can now see it, we thought, and we've been putting up our sort of encore presentations of our recaps, we thought it'd be fun now to do the recap

that we just never did. So that's what we're doing. We're revisiting Rony Legacy. There he goes. Let's do her, let's jump right in. So yeah, if you're wondering like, how could they not remember things that happened last week? That's because they didn't to us. They happened a long, long time ago to us. Years and years and years ago, in a different time. Everything was different than in America. Bread didn't cost $19. Um, cars weren't self-driving. It was a totally different world. It really was. Children were still children. Guys, all changed.

Yes. So, uh, we are here on season four, episode four, a yacht of attention. We're in St. Bart's and, uh, Martin or Martine, he is the house manager, butler, servant, staff member, whatever you want to call him. And he's organizing a breakfast table outside and people are doing work around. And Sonia is basically he comes knocking on Sonia and Ramona's door. And Sonia is not a morning person, as we've seen over the years. She does not want to be disturbed right now. Sonia is not an afternoon person. Sonya's not an evening person.

Sonya's like a drunk, sad, crazy lady. But I think Sonya's just not a sober person. So Sonya just, morning is not good for Sonya because she's not shitfaced yet, okay? Sonya can take the world once she's a little drunk, okay? She's just not yet. So she doesn't like it. And she's like, fuck off, Martin. Basically, she's like, leave us alone. She was like, I like Martine, but not the Martine before I even had my coffee. I mean, that's a disgusting version.

I'm sorry, everyone. I'm looking at a COVID test. I am negative. Hey. Sorry. I just wanted to announce that, that I am negative, but I'm very positive on enjoying Sonia Morgan. Okay, back to the story.

So congratulations, game night it is everybody, game night it is. Game night is on ladies and gentlemen, I get really excited. So she is wanting Martin to leave them alone, but unfortunately Ramona can't turn on the goddamn shower without help So Ramona's like, you know what? I don't know how to turn on the shower. I need to call Martin She's like do not call him over here. It's the morning. Martin's behind the door like so no more almond milk

You don't need almond milk today. No, that's allowed Martin. Please don't call him in here for the shower It's a horror movie. Sonia's very, very afraid of having Martine come in there. But Ramona's like, you know what? These knobs are just so crazy. Like you turn one knob this way, but that doesn't turn on the water. Like it turns it hot and cold, but which way's hot?

Which way's cold? There's no H, there's no C, there's no J. I mean, I don't even know what letters are supposed to be anymore, but let me tell you what, I don't know what's hot and cold. Then there's another one to pull for the water to come out. Is it the water to the toilet? Is it the water to the toilet? Is it the water to the shower?

Like I don't even know what's going on with bathroom. You know what, it's very confusing, okay? Like my mother always said, you don't want to rely on a man to be able to tell you how to use your shower. But unfortunately I failed on this department. So unfortunately, Martins can have to come in here right when I'm ready to take a shower.

And if my robe happens to fall off and he happens to see my beautiful, beautiful bosom, then so be it. I have to take my shower. Okay? Sorry, I'm an attractive person. And Sonia's like, we don't need the butler in here every morning Ramona, just calm down. I mean, what do you need him to wipe your butthole too? Yes, she does. And also wherever her butt has been, you guys need a sponge crew. Okay? You are the cast that poops all over everything. Yes, you do. You need a mop following you fools around. Yeah. So we have the opening credits and it's morning. It's morning around the villa.

For people who are not acquainted with the show, what they basically do is they just shoot footage of the women around the house doing their little activities. And since they're only there for seven days, they have to make this footage stretch. So some of that stretching is literally just watching them lays about. And so that's what they're doing. And Kelly is actually, they know, babe, they've heard the recaps coming every week. We're just the ones who have taken a break. So for everybody else,

they already know what's going on. We've been recapping it every week. There we go. So Kelly, you know what I mean? We have to pretend that we never left. Okay. Nothing is crazy and nothing's different. We were just here last week when Obama was president and Hedy the Mar was a movie star. Yeah. Okay. Well note taken. So Kelly is doing yoga and she is, yoga and she's doing morning yoga, which no one else is doing with her. And Kristin is lying around and Martina is asking how last

night was and everything. She's talking about how she drank too much and Luanne is diving in the pool. They're all just doing morning activities to get ready for the big, exciting day. Yeah. And Kelly is the only one at the yoga place. She's like, it's only me. I'm like the only one awake, which is, I mean, it's crazy. I have children. I work so hard. I work so, so hard. And then she talks about herself, you know, of course she's like, I have so much energy because like I eat, I sleep. I mean, I do nice things for other people because kindness keeps you young.

That's basically what it is. I look like this because I'm kind. I'm a kind person. So inside Ramona is, Martina's still in the room and Sonia's going mad. She's like writhing around in the bed, just wants everyone out of her face. And Ramona's like, whoa, Martina,

look at this itinerary you did in the box you do your itinerary so well i've never seen such a beautiful piece of paper cut so small with so many beautiful vivid colors it's like you're actually can order like your Picasso you're like the Picasso of itineraries can you show me each and every way you make these itineraries okay she's like but you know what this is the old one so let's throw it away he's like this is not the old one she's like oh my god look at these This is the old one. So let's throw it away. He's like, this is not the old one. She's like, oh my God, look at these ones.

They're so lovely. You just print them. What do you do? He's like, they are made with love and happiness. You know? Well, you know what else should be made with love and happiness? Showers. How do showers work?

You know what? Itinerary is not confusing. Showers are. Okay. So Sonya's like, well, you know, but today's itinerary has a yacht and I'm the one who arranged for the yacht. Cause I know about yachts, my ex had a yacht. And then we find out that dinner is gonna be hosted

by Kristen, this is gonna be her neon party. Everyone's like, whoa, you know what? Martine, do you want to see my outfit? Okay, here's my outfit. This is what I'm wearing for the neon party. You are so excited to see it. You know what? It's a little wrinkly, huh?

A little wrinkly. I'm just gonna look at you and you know what you're supposed to see it. You know what? It's a little wrinkly, huh? A little wrinkly. I'm just gonna look at you and you know what you're supposed to say next. Oh yes, we'll get that steamed. Oh my God, thank you so much for offering to get my dress steamed again. Such a gentleman, okay? Because Ramona's playing up what a good person she is

after she just got her entire show canceled. So then Luanne is looking for a Dorinda and she sees Martin at the breakfast table. He's like, oh, hello, would you like a French? She's like, oh, if only you knew how. Yes. And so now Kristin's laying by the pool and everyone's just sort of gathering outside and Kelly is, she's on the phone and she's doing like a meeting.

She's like, hi, yeah, Monday morning phone and she's doing like a meeting. She's like, hi. Yeah. Monday morning works. Okay. Love you. Okay. Bye. Business, business, business. And they're all just like watching her and during just like, good morning Kelly. How's it going? You're yoga before you were so busy doing your business and throwing it all over my faces. And they start talking about last night and they had a skinny dipping party and all that. And they're like, you know, like you miss the boobs, you miss the boobs, you have the naked suckers.

And Kristen's like, Oh my God, all I remember is Sonja buck naked in the pool. That was crazy. That was like so great. I'm having the craziest time with you guys. So then Luanne comes over and was like, well, where was, where was Kelly? I guess the one's already there. She's like, Kelly was with you guys last night. And I was like, no, Kelly was in bed. I think. And Kelly walks over and she goes, sorry guys, I was just doing a little bit of work, you know, cause I'm busy.

I work. I have to use my time to do work, business, business. Should I have like such a big business in real estate. I have a global real estate portfolio. I sound like so real estate right now, how I'm like portfolio, cause like it's so big. I'm like real estate, but it's true. It's like so big. It's like so great.

And then we see a headline that says Kelly Bensimon sold $50 million in three months. I raise my kids on my own. I'm a mom. I'm the dad. I'm the provider. I'm like the doorman. I'm the UPS driver.

I'm the mailman. I'm the person who works at Jamba Juice who gets in my green juice and does it right every single time. Okay. Vacations, 6 a.m. whatever. If there's a phone call about something, business is business and I have to be on point, especially if it's in front of the other ladies. I'm like so busy.

If you look at one of my listings, like I'm not even kidding, you're gonna see a gorgeous woman posed on that coffee table. And it's me, because that's how busy I am. Cause she's in all the pictures of her real estate. Yeah. And this is a little bit of who, during Scary Island, had a meltdown because Bethany brought like a swag bag

of Skinny Girl stuff to everyone's door. And she's like, this is just creepy. It's like weird. It's like, she's just like trying to force her business on us. Yeah. So then we see Kristen's like, we need a recap, but I feel like somehow I know it went backwards.

And so flash to 25 minutes ago and Kelly's like, people aren't gonna like you cause you're just like not opening up. You know, we don't even know even know you. What do we know about you except that you're a fan? I can tell you, I'm just trying to help you because I know what fans want and they don't want to see you fanning out on me. Fans don't watch fans. So. I may be a very busy person and I may be both a mom and a dad, a provider for my kids, but I'm also a fan for them to watch TV with. And so I understand what the fans want and they're not wanting you right now, Kristen.

And Kristen goes, why are we talking about fans right now? It's like, look, look at you. Nobody knows you. Who are you even? Like nobody knows you are. So like don't like try to like tell people who you are. You need to like show them who who you are. That's all I'm saying. CB I'm Kelly Ben-Simon doing morning media training on Kristen. So Kristen is like, yeah, I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying, but I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. I can't. And Dryn is like, you know what it is? It's that thing where it's like, I am more important. And Kristen's like, yeah, that's what it is. Well, she tries to show off her life, and we don't. Ha ha.

Sorry, those people are raw. They're all ridiculous on the show because really all Kelly is doing is making a work call. She's not doing anything. And everyone's like, oh my God, it's so Kelly Wicks and then nobody else wakes. How dare she? How dare she come out here and talk about how she has a job

like she's so much better than us. Oh, look at her. Oh, you're in a bikini and you're doing leg lifts and you're on your phone doing business. Multitasca! Multitasca! Here's something you're good at multitasking at. Being a bitch and a cut fitness at the same time. Hehehehehehe. And the one goes, well, there is that competition part, right? I mean, don't forget the, on here and you're here. And Dorinda's like, yeah, well, we're doing it right here. Cause look at her, I'm on the phone.

You're not on the phone. I'm standing up. You're not standing up. I'm saying real estate over and over. You're not saying real estate over. Do you see where I'm standing? I feel small. I feel this big.

I feel this big right now. I mean, I'm a, oh, look, I'm a business person. You people are a bunch of lazy louts, okay? Well, you can just shut up and mean, I'm a, oh look, I'm a busy person. You people are a bunch of lazy louts, okay? Well, you can just shut up and clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. So silly. And then they're like, yeah, she's jealous of us. I was like, oh, okay. So she's pretending to make real estate deals because she's jealous. What the fuck? So then we cut back to the Kelly and Kristin fight again with Kelly saying, I don't appreciate you saying how amazing you are because it's offensive to women.

And Kristin's like, I didn't say that. So Narinda says, she wants to feel like she's part of the it crowd. Yeah, it's good. And she wants to pick up where she left off. And she thinks that Kristin needs to be a little hazy a little bit before she can join the sorority. And Kristen's like, she just can't comprehend that like I'm okay with like not making deals.

Okay, I'm okay not having TikTok and a million followers. I'm okay if my lipsticks don't sell to anyone just cause they're called POC. So Kelly comes over, she's like, hi guys, like this is so nice, like being outside. Like this is amazing, isn't it? Like so great being outside. And they're like, oh, hi Kelly. Hey Kelly, why don't you get off your phone?

You ever thought of that? I don't even have my phone. I mean, where is it? It's probably in my room. Who knows? Who needs a phone, am I right? I mean, why don't you do your work calls in your room? I mean, look at this beautiful view.

Does anyone need to see a beautiful view with a phone in the way? It's just, it's offensive. Yeah, because here I am, and like sitting in his back, yeah, there's a very small pool here. I can't move. There's walls everywhere. There's no open space for me to roam around. And he's talking on the phone. What am I supposed to do? I'm basically in the dog crate having to listen to you talk on the phone, Kelly. Well, I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. Yeah, you weren't interrupting us. We're having a grand old time. We're very busy too. We have

busy business women who are sitting on chairs having a vacation. We understand the value of luxury time. So then Kelly is just like putting on lip balm and like whatever. So then suddenly comes out, she's like, well, someone gave my boobs. And so, um, so look at me. I've got a job now too. Kelly. Hey Kelly, you impressed with me. I have a job too. Can I be like you? Cause I'm going to take, I'm going to save Sonia Morgan's boobs. That's me. Do it with the job. Maybe I'm good enough to be smelly Kelly now. So Sonia and Dorenda go into the bathroom to do this. Sonia's like, you know, I never had boobs, but like the boobs that I do have now that I'm older, they're just going under my arms,

like left and right, you know? So just like boob tape, I need it all around me. So Dorinda starts wrapping her up and then Ramona comes out and she's like, whoa, Lou, how are you feeling this morning? Do you still have a bad case of being a slut? Well, Ramona, I feel great. And we had the best time last night. And then Ramona then starts spinning her scarf. She has a little scarf around her arm. She starts spinning it around and annoying everyone basically. So now they're all getting ready to go out and talking about boobs still. And Sonya is still going off about her armpit boobs. It's a surprisingly long scene for this. So then Ramona is talking to Kelly now by the pool. So Ramona is like, Whoa, you know what? It's so nice here. The breeze is view. You know what's so good about the water in the ocean? You don't have to

figure out how to turn it on. It's just there. It's like crazy. It's like always on water. That's why it has such a big bill. It's like really hard to pay the ocean's water bill. Just never stops. Yeah. Well, I got reprimanded for working this morning by the pool. What do you mean you got reprimanded? Why did you get reprimanded? Well, Dorinda told me I should go away when I'm working.

Like, she went like after me last night and then she went after me today. I'm like, whoa. Yeah. You know what? It's because she snapped. Okay. Like right after she went on pause, she snapped at me you know what? It's because she snaps. Okay. Like right after she went on pause, she snapped at me. Like she's just how she is. She snaps at people. Okay. And when Dorinda snaps,

I basically just like, you know what? I say, sorry. Okay. You like I don't even remember what she says. Yeah. So you know what? No one's perfect. Okay. And now I know that when she just snaps, I just can't discuss it with her. Okay. And Kelly's like, Yeah, I saw that. But you know what? No one's perfect, okay? And now I know that when she just snaps, you just can't discuss it with her, okay? And Kelly's like, yeah, I saw that. But you know what? She also has very loving and giving side too, okay? It's just that you have to get through

all the drunken awful behavior to get to it. Yeah, no, she's like really loving. Like, Ramona, I like fell in love with her. Like when I got here, I was like, you're my new love crush. And like, I am obsessed with you. Like I'm up here and you're up here with her. When I got here, I was like, you are my new love, Grosh. And I'm obsessed with you. I'm up here and you're up here with me. We're up here together. I'm so in love. So then Sonia and Durenda back to them and they're talking about how boobs still, they're still talking about boobs.

Sonia is like, wow, I look like Ramona now, but I didn't have to pay $20,000 for the boob job. I just had to pay a $20,000 for the boob job. I just had to pay a little bit of money for tape. Yeah. Do I owe you any money? I feel like I just had a thousand dollar surgery. Yeah, well, there's a tip jar at the door. Now no one can say that I don't work too, okay bitches? So then Ramona and Kelly are still talking about how, you know, Ramona, like everyone's getting so much more relaxed today

and everyone got out so much stuff and they're gonna have to go to the water. So they're talking about that. And then Martin calls everybody for time to leave. So dun, dun, dun. So then everybody leaves basically. And in one van, Luann's talking about how intense it got last night.

And Kelly's like, yeah. I mean, Dorinda called me a cut fitness. Like, what the hell? You know, I know that was terrible. It's terrible that she just stopped there. She could have said so much more. I wish she did. So then we see a flashback to all that. And then Kelly's like, I mean, she was just getting vile because I was telling Kristen, stop narrating our own scenes. She's such a fan. And Luan's like, well, but I do see your point of view. Well, no, but like it's coming from like a fan base.

Like, okay, as a representative of the fan base, I have to say, like, I don't need to be narrated to. It's like, yeah, but you can't call her a fan. Here's what a fan is. It's someone who shows up at a cabaret show while an icon sings to them off key. She's just a regular person and she wanted to do her homework before she came. And I think that's smart. The more you go at Dorinda, the more she's just going to bark at you. It's like, Oh, well, I'm not going to touch that with a 10 foot pole. I'm like out now. I'm like not even going to talk about this stuff because like I'm so obsessed with

Dorinda anyway. I'm like a huge, like I think she's amazing. So like, I'm not ever going to bring this up again. I'm not going to say one more thing to Dorinda. Like the last thing I wanna do is say anything to Dorinda about this ever again. Like I'm never gonna say one more thing to Dorinda. Swear to God, ever again. Like in my whole life, seriously, like I'm really busy and I just don't have time to even say anything. I love her, like she's amazing.

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someone who looks ageless onto your vessel? Okay. Cause guess what? You may think I'm 22 years old, but I'm actually much older. I just, I look young and you look old. I look young and you look old and that's that, okay? So I'm trying to look for the line. They go on the boat and they see the captain and Luan's like, oh, hello, what's your name? And he's like, Ludo. She goes, oh, bonjour Ludo.

And so they go to the yacht and Sonya's like, wow, are you kidding me? As Luan would say, Sonja, we got the yacht. Well, guess who got it? I got it. That's who did it. Wow, look at me on a yacht. I'm sure having deja vu. Wow. Puff Daddy. Hi, Puff Daddy. Oh my God, is that Justin Beaver? Is he even old enough to walk yet? Hi, Justin, future famous Justin. Your hair is going to be iconic one day. Just warning you. Hey, Jaco, Jaco the captain. Do you know the brave goose? He's like, uh, the brave goose or the gray goose? Both. Well, the brave goose is my ex-husband's and a little bigger than this. I'm hosting this event. Sonia Morgan, emphasis on the Morgan. Good to

meet you. You may recognize my husband's name. I'm a yacht person. I'm very wealthy. Oh, God. Jermona's like, some women get off on diamond jewelry. Some women get off on new shoes. Someone get off on pooping in new closets in Mexico. You know what? Who am I to judge? Wow. Wow. This yacht looks amazing. Look at this. Good luck trying to land this one. Tom Nagostino. Sorry, some PTSD from the relationship. You know, everyone knows that I have a taste for luxury and luxury has a taste for me and the other women join the way and inside the cab, but that's actually just stage direction, but I'm

okay to narrate it in my voice. So then of course, Sonya is like doing her own taglines and they're all doing that, you know, because it's like a greatest hits where everybody comes out and does their taglines as we know. They're all acting like they're trying to be super chill about the fact that they're all back on a yacht for the first time in many years. And they're like, yes, this is part of our everyday life. We're always on yachts. Oh my God, oh my God, we're on the yacht.

I mean, yes, totally natural, totally chill. Be very chill, everyone. And then they see a turtle and they're like, oh, wow, it's a turtle. Wow, it's a turtle. Wow, guys, it's totally natural, totally chill, be very chill everyone. And then they see a turtle and they're like, oh wow, it's a turtle. Wow, it's a turtle. Wow, guys, it's a turtle. Wow, look guys, it's a turtle. Guys, it's a turtle. Just waiting for Ramona, like they're teeing it up, but Ramona doesn't say it.

So everybody just keeps saying it, but it's a turtle. It's a turtle. And finally Ramona goes, whoa, you know what? Turtle time, baby. And they're like, yes, turtle time. Thank you. Fucking A, man. Hey, geez. So Luan's flopping around in the water.

There's some activity happening. There's a hot dog, a la the banana from Below Deck Med. And so Luan's like, oh, we're gonna go on the hot dog because we're real housewives. And the first rule of being a real housewife is you've gotta always profess how much you're obsessed with hot dogs. Yeah. So now it's just time for Luan and Dorinda to get on the hot dog and make dick jokes.

So Dorinda's like, ah, this is the first time I've been in a hot dog in a lifetime. I didn't have to climb, you know, a hairy, hairy mountain, a hairy, sweaty mountain. You can do it, Serendus. Get it out to me. And flip lots to get on top of this hot dog, am I right? But I'm here, I'm not a hot dog. So, hey, hey, it's been a while, huh, guys? But guess what?

Hot dogs still make me wild, am I right, guys? Shh. Kristen goes, did nobody, did anyone see the Jaws movie? I mean, have you not learned anything from Jaws like three or four? Mike, why are you entering in on the third and fourth Jaws? You can just start with Jaws, regular Jaws one. You don't have to go to third and fourth. I'm very, very young. Oh yeah. Well, you know, have you heard of hot dogs? Riding a hot dog. It's been a long time since I've been a hot dog. Hey, Ludo. Oh, I can't wait to get on this hot dog. We're gonna get so slammed. God, I hope a flounder comes up and does me, I'm so horny.

Pete Slauson Meanwhile, Sonja is just walking around the yacht trying to pretend like this is still her life, but she can't do it anymore because, you know, yachts are, you forget, but yachts are wavy, you know, until you fall down, you have to be holding on to things. You can't just be drunk the whole time without falling. So she's falling and trying to act graceful, but she's literally just falling all over the place. Ramona passes her, she flops into the hot tub and she's like, whoa, you look like a mermaid who got captured, she can't get out. Pete I was like, that was a surprisingly on point observation. Well, you look like you're in splash. You're like a much sadder version of Darrell Hanna. Okay. Pete Slauson Wow. So, now it's going to, now Luan and Dorena get out of the water,

they're showering and okay. So, now it is Kelly. So, Kelly goes into the bedroom where Ramona and Sonja are changing into their swimsuit and they're just gonna, you know, have a party. Oh, so Kelly claps and laughs because Sonja comes out of this, the bathroom wearing this hot pink swimsuit that says, we like to party. She's like, isn't this crazy? Cause it says we like to party, but then when you stick your stomach out, party gets bigger. And I was like, I'm wearing it. We like to party also. We both like to party. We're kind of like party twins. We're very young. We're acting like we're two young 20-somethings because it's important to act the way you look, okay? Like my daughter Avery, she acts like she's a 47-year-old

woman because that's how she looks. I'm sorry, I just look younger than my daughter. Dave 10 So now it's time for lunch and Luann's like, so after last night we were all at each other's throats and now it looks like you've gelled and Ramona's like, yeah, you know what? We're comfortable. We're happy now. Well, you didn't seem happy this morning. You know what I mean? And Kelly's like, well, listen guys, I was just trying to protect Kristin, okay? Because I know how bad it could be for her and I was just trying to protect her from the fans, okay? Well, you protected from what was from the fans. Well, no, I just, you know,

I just want her to be well-received. I just want, I just, you know, she's a beautiful girl with a great life. Yeah, well, I think that she's being very well-received. It's like, and Dorinda's like, I thought that she was being very brave, okay? And very honest last night. So I don't think she needs any advice. No, I'm just, I'm not having this conversation in front of Dorinda's like, I thought that she was being very brave, okay, and very honest last night. So I don't think she needs any advice.

No, I'm just, I'm not having this conversation in front of Dorinda, okay? She called me a cut fitness. Dorinda's like, oh. Where is she still coming from? Says Kelly, who just announced his conversation to the whole table. I know.

And Dorinda's like, where is this coming from? Didn't we have a good night over? Listen, you call someone C-worthy a couple of times. Who cares, we had a good time after that, didn we hug and kiss. Then we talk about, did someone need to ride a hot dog? By the way, did you notice that moment when Luanne and Dorinda came back with the hot dog? They're like at sea level still and all the other ladies are on the deck and Luanne and Dorinda just going losers, party poopers. because no one would get on the hot dog. And Sonia goes, what is that, that paparazzi, those fans?

They're like, no, it's just us. They go, it's Luan and Dorinda. Sonia's like ready to step in. She's like leaning into delusion. It's like very clearly they're two friends. She's like, oh my God, the paparazzi have found us again. That's so funny. So Dorinda's like, I don't understand why this girl's still

hung up on me calling her the seaward. And Ramona's like, you know what, Kelly, you need to quit with your head, okay? Cause you're going to dig a ditch, digging a ditch for yourself. And so she's like, um, you know what, it's just a knee jerk reaction, Kelly. And Kelly goes, why? Does she have to go poop? Well, because Dorinda's going downstairs. She goes, oh, does she have to go poop? And Dorinda's like, yeah, I do have to go poop. That could work for Kelly really in any context. That could be a Kelly response, just a normal response.

You know what, you need to be careful, Kelly. Why does she have to poop? So Dorinda goes downstairs, and the woman's like, oh my gosh. And Kelly's like, what? She called me, I caught fitness. Well, did you have a chance to talk to her? She's like, well, no, I have nothing to oh my gosh. And Kelly's like, what? She called me a cut fitness. Well, did you have a chance to talk to her? She's like, well, no, I have nothing to say to her.

I mean, are you kidding me? Well, you know what? Dorinda's not gonna be, you know what? She's gonna be coming up any second. So don't jump off at the back, okay? Just be careful. She's coming back right now. It's so funny how this cast is so terrified of Dorinda.

They're just like, just, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, just don't poke her. So Dorinda comes back and she's like, listen. And Kelly's like, you know what? You called me a cut fitness. No, I get it. I get it. But I called you cut fitness E. It was an adjective. I didn't call you the noun. She was, no, you called me a cut fitness, cut fitness, cut fitness E. You know, it's like you say tomato and I say tomato. Let's call the whole thing a cunt. You know what I'm saying? And we see flashbacks. We see a flashback of Dorinda saying cut fitness, E not cut fitness. And Dorinda's like, listen,

this was years ago because you know what? Now people say that word all the time again. It's fitness. the sea. They say it all the time. It's like, and it's like gay slang now. I mean, I guess it's everybody's slang that I hear most in gay slang cause I am one of those. And, uh, you see that's a little time passes and the whole world changes. Like that word's great now to compliment now. Well, and also we know that in, in England, it's like a common, just like whatever word. And Dorinda even says that,

we see a flashback to the night before when Dorinda was like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you that. It's a London thing. So, you know, I basically, I'll use that as my excuse. Yeah. You know, I lived there one time. So then Dorinda is like, oh my God, this girl, she won't stop because she has nothing else to grab onto. Listen, I watched Scary Island last night. Remember when she was talking right in the midst of everybody's dinner and she wouldn't stop and you said, go to your room if you're gonna talk.

Remember that? And Kelly's like, um, yeah, listen to Dorinda. Remember when I wasn't there? Remember that? Because she wasn't even there, so. Well, I watched them all yesterday on a tablet in my bathroom when I was putting on my makeup. And we see her doing that and she's and Dorinda looks appalled and Kelly's like, you know,

I'm okay. Oh, great, Dorinda. I'm just going to tell you everything because I watched it. Okay. Yeah. Well, I watched them all yesterday. Now I get it. I know what I'm dealing with.

You know, I thought I was dealing with a bunny rabbit, but it could be a whole different kind of animal. It could be a giraffe. It could be no copy. It could be a raccoon. It could be a bat. It could be a chameleon. It could be an ostrich. There's so many animals it really could be. It better not be a penguin, I'll tell you that. If it's a penguin, let me say, you better back it up, you fucking penguin. And Kelly's like, what are we, what do we fanning again? I mean, what do you want an autograph?

Like why is everybody so obsessed with me? She is so ridiculous. Like it's amazing. Like that's what her go-to is when she's cornered, she's like, you're just like a fan. Like you want my autograph or something. But that is super weird to be like, oh yeah. Well, I watched episodes where you were having

a mental breakdown again. And now I understand it. I watched episodes a mental breakdown again and now I understand it. I watched episodes from 10 years ago and now I get you. She's like, ah. You know what? She doesn't have a job. You don't work. You know what I mean?

That's why you have time to watch TV. A fan. You're a fan. You know what? Hold on. I've got something to say. Okay. Hot person talking.

Okay. So tonight, first of all, I want to toast to Sonja for putting this day together. Thank you. This is so lovely to live in your delusion, okay? Oh, wow. Wow. By the way, let's look at fricking frack with the same bathing suits. Oh, the party is here. Is that what that says? You guys are just so fricking frack. So then Kelly and Luan go to the side to talk, right? So Luan's like, listen, I just, you know, I don't want them to get the wrong impression

of you because I know who you are, but they don't know you. You know what I mean? I know you. I know that you're worth it because at the end of the day you get hockey tickets. They don't know that. And so you don't want to upset them. Do you understand what I'm saying? You know, I'm probably the closest person to Kelly on this trip, which is sad for me,

but so be it. She's going to find me an apartment someday. And as much as I try to give Kelly advice on how to get along with these girls, she seems to keep stepping in it. So listen, Dorinda goes el ataco because you pushed the wrong buttons. She's like, yeah, wild fan over there. Right, right, right. But defense, like what you see at a hockey game, I mean, I've only heard about it because I've never actually gone to a Rangers game with you, but defense with her doesn't work. So if you back her into a corner, she's going to bite you and bite you hard. So what I'm trying to say is you don't want to feed into that because you're not that

girl. You're a celebrity. You're a model. You're someone who gets free hockey tickets. And I want you to understand that dynamic so you can move forward for the rest of the week and I can stop having to have these pep talks with you. Okay? Joey, it's just like, but you know what? It's just so hard because like I work, you know, and it's like, I do it all on my own. Like there's nobody even there. Like I have kids,

but like I'm even the kids. Like I'm the kid and I'm the mom. I'm like, look both ways before you cross the street. But then I step into the street without looking both ways. I'm like, you're in big trouble. I'm like, you need to get a job. But then I'm the kid and I'm the mom. I'm like, look both ways before you cross the street. But then I step into the street without looking both ways. I'm like, you're in big trouble. I'm like, you need to get a job. But then I'm like, I have a job. Cause I'm like literally everybody. Like I go to take the bus somewhere, but then I'm like, I don't take buses,

but then I'm the bus driver. And I'm like, you should take the bus. And I'm like, why are you arguing? Stop being a fan. Stop being a fan. Listen. Just so hard. Me too. Listen, we do it on our own.

Sisters are doing it by themselves. And my sisters, I'm in Cabaret Stars, but you're close to that. So I get it. I can bring all the bacon, fry it up and lime. You know what? I'm just like, I'm just like all by myself. All by myself.

What were you saying, Kelly? So Kelly's like, Yeah, but you know, like, it's like so hard being a single mom. And then I was like, Okay, well, I tried to help you. I've given you all the tips I can. Goodbye. You're you're hopeless. You're useless. You're hopeless. You can't hear anything. Get the goddamn wax out of here. You fucking lose." Like she gets frustrated and walks up and then Kelly goes, you know, like Luanne, she's just like a caring person and like she gives you like hugs, but like I feel like what she was doing right now, she was giving me like a hug, but it was made out of words. And like, she hugged me with it. She hugged me with words. I love like word hug, I mean, not with capital A's because those hurt. If she like hugged me with a capital A, I would be like, ow, that's like so pointy.

Please don't do that. But it wasn't that it was like soft lowercase words for the most part. And it like felt good. She's like a, a word hugger. Nothing about this made any sense. No, we had to not say any words that were long or multi-syllabic. She's like, it's like an SAT word. I was like, she just talked to you. That's not a word hug. She's not completely frustrated. She's like, God, she loves me. I know that her takeaway was just that Luanne was trying to say big words.

Guys, Kristen here. Just want to tell everyone we're going to have our neon night tonight. So we need to get back. Cause I'm getting my hair done. So they're going to have our neon eyes tonight. So we need to get back because I'm getting my hair done. Ah, ah. So they're going back. One of many hats goes flying off the yacht. It's another hat interlude. And now they get the hat, they fetch the hat. And Luanne's like, oh, thank God you got the hat. Because Luanne's going after a hat.

She's trapped behind the glass door. She's like, let me out, let me out. I need to get this hat. It's from Saint Tropez. Okay, it was $5 in a tchotchke shop, but it's still from Saint Tropez. And the deckhand's like, oh, that's nice. It's cute. She goes, it's cute. Well, thank you. You know, they have a stash. You're cute too, by the way. Come to my cabaret. You know, they've got a stash of those hats just like below the deck.

They just have it in the crew mess. They just have a stash of those hats for every single time one goes flying off. Someone, they're like, oh, we found it for you. Oh, thank God. You found my San Tropez hat. Yes, absolutely, here it is. They just, for all the guests were always claiming that their hat from San Tropez had gone flying off. So it's the end of their yacht time

and Sonya is like walking out with a purse full of like forks that she's stolen and like, you know, bathroom mirror that she shoved in there. She's like, hey, Lou, we got the yacht after all. She's like, good job, Sonya. Sonya, you just dropped a TV remote control. Now, I've got that. The TV's still stuck on the wall. They screw those in now. Pete Slauson So, they get back to the villa and Luanne's like, oh, by the way, let me get my hat from Sandra Bay. So they go up. Sonya walks up that giant staircase and Martin is there with a drink. She's like, oh no, I can't drink. I can't have any more drinks. I can't have

any more drinks. I'll have three, please. Thank you so much. So Kristen's like, neon party, everybody get ready for the neon party. It's gonna be so amazing. Cause it's neon, everybody loves neon. So it was my turn for a party and I really wanted to throw a neon party because neon's like so on trend. It's so young, it's neon, it's neon.

We're having a neon party. I was like, oh my God, why does it take me five minutes to remember why your ass was fired? She is so, she's the word. Neon, neon, neon so young, I love neon. God, why does it take me five minutes to remember why your ass was fired? She is so, she's the word. Neon, neon, neon, so young, I love neon, neon! I'm like, go away.

How are you here the same week in our life, repeating the same week, that they brought Teddy back on that other show? Really, you're just trying to drive all of us away? So, so Kristen shows up first to her neon party and her hair looks terrible, by the way, like her whole thing was that she had to, the yacht had to go up, go back early because she had someone doing her hair and her hair looks like a mess. So she comes up and she sits down and the only one up there is, um, is Kelly. And so of course they have this weird relationship. They're just sort of sitting there trying to make small talk and everything. And Kristen's like, Oh yeah, this is, this is great. Wow. Well, fun times at the neon party. Am I right? Someone going to say of me, anyone, please.

Yeah, they're just sitting there trying to make small talk and it sucks. And so Kristen just keeps saying neon it's on trend, right? It's neon. It's young. It's on trend. So? It's neon. It's young. It's on trend. So the ladies start coming down and everyone's instantly bored. Like, they're in these bright highlighter colors, but I think we probably said this a million times during the regular recap. So this is one of the problems with the show is like, get dressed up for a theme party. It's six of you sitting in an empty space.

It's like Dubai. It's like the main problem with Dubai, right? It's like, get all dressed up to sit in an empty space. It's like Dubai. It's like the main problem with Dubai, right? It's like, get all dressed up to sit in an empty space with no extras or whatever. So they're kind of instantly bored and they're like, where's the men? Kristen's like, why is it my responsibility to find the men? Why can't they just be, enjoy being young and on trend?

It's neon. Yeah, it's fun guys, neon, bright colors. So Luan's like, well everyone, I'm dressed like atomic blonde so I can hit on all the no one that's here. Commercials, here comes one right now. Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s***, and hopefully

make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's gonna work, okay? We're gonna run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No Offense. No offense Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines

surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Iyuk, T. Higgins, or Devonte Adams? Plus, on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery+, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the

Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So everyone comes out in their crazy outfits and Dorinda's like, wow, this is a good neon theme. Listen, I teach aerobics and neon is kind of my thing. So hey, good job, Kristen, during a dorobex party. I'm kidding. It's just a neon party, which I did first. So they all sit down at the table. Everyone's names are written in cursive, neon colors. Everyone's like, oh, wow. They get like shots of gazpacho. Well, they're basically they're giving shots and then it's like, Ooh, shots, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. Yes, I love shot. It's gazpacho.

Disgusting. So let's see here. So Terinda's like, I mean, really, they think this was going to be a wham bam rocking party. I mean, I don't know why everybody looks so bored like, duh, it's Kristen. What do you think she's going to do? Like bring on strippers and neon pandas? I mean, come on. So then Martin's talking about how they have carpaccio, beautiful scallops and everything like that. And also some cauliflower. And Dorinda's like, oh, cauliflower, that's big on this island. Wow. Yeah. And, um, well, c'est magnifique. Yes, I was married to a French person once. So it gives me a little bit more credibility when I say c'est magnifique. That means it's great, ladies. Sorry. I don't know if you know that you were never married to someone who's French.

All right. I've got a good topic of conversation here. Um. I want to know who's had a threesome. Isn't that crazy? Let's talk about threesomes. That'll be fine. Who's had a threesome? And Sonia's like, yeah, I mean, look, you've got a dick in your face here, and you've got a dick behind you there, and you've got a vagina over here. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Well, you know, so I went on to, it's just another day. Tuesday at Suna Rita's house. Well, you know, she's so casually answers like, what are you supposed to do? Yeah. So the way I'm trying to start telling a story,

she gets like three tries at the story. So she goes, well, everyone, since we're talking about threesomes, I had a date in Miami with a guy once and I was very interested in him. And so we went on a couple of dates. He starts asking about threesomes or anything like that. I make, here we go. And then he says he's investing in a new- Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah. So I just wanted to give a toast. Oh, well, I guess I'm done with my, I guess I'm done with my Manajat's wall story. toast. Oh, well, I guess I'm done with them. I guess I'm done with my Minasaur's wall stories.

They're close to done with you, Kelly. What were you still, what's going on? Were you still talking? Like, I was going to give it to you. I thought you were done, but you were done. She was telling a story, Kelly. You can't just interrupt like that. Kelly goes, oh, it's over. The story is like literally over. I'm trying to help her. Like, the fans are like, what? Fans are like, what is she talking about? Kelly goes, oh, sorry. I thought you were finished. Anyway, and she just keeps on going. She's like, so I just wanted to thank Kristin so much for this amazing dinner. It's like, she was in the middle of the story, Kelly. Oh, well, anyway, so it's time for a toast. Let's just do a quick toast. I want to thank the fun Dinner. It's so nice to be with everybody.

You guys don't know this. So I just wanted to tell you, I'm under so much stress right now. Pete You want to hear about stress? Try finishing a story about three sums at this table. That's stressful. Chris Yeah, you know, I just have so much going on, like with work, being a single mom, having kids, being a dad, being a bus driver, being a statue in a park. I mean, it's just so much. I've got so much going on, you know? And I didn't mean to be on the phone in front of you guys, you know? I know that that's hard when you don't work, but I'm just under stress, you know? And Dorinda, I'm so in love with you. Like, I literally, like, I'm in love with you and you're amazing. And I just,

I just want to be you. And Trish is like, there's so sweet. And then you call me a cut fitness. And I was like, Oh God, here we go again. And she's also trying to say this clip of Kelly going, I'm never bringing this up again. Cause I love during that. I would never say a thing about this ever again. And Kelly also frames this with guys. I'm really stressed because I'm moving out of my family home in one month forever. As if all these women have not had to move out of homes that they have loved. I mean,

Sonya and her townhouse for one, I mean, they've all been displaced and she's trying to get sympathy from them and they're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. But it's really hard. So when you call me a cut fitness, it's like, okay, here we go. No, I'm serious. You got to stop. Okay. Just the way I was stopped in the middle of my wonderful story about a threesome guy in Miami. But guys, I was just trying to tell you like I was literally like adoring you, but then you called me a cut fitness. She's like, Oh my God, you know, I'm really confused. Like, do you love me? Take me? Do you need me? Do you want me to go away? I mean, do I, do I just, do I just say this gap fitness again? Do I just do it again? What you want me to go away? I mean, do I, do I just, do I just say this gap fitness? See again, do I just do it again?

What do I need to do? Dorinda, I just want you to be happy. Like, don't be mean to me. You don't have to be mean to anyone. All right. Well, this fucking sucks. So Luanne just storms off because she couldn't tell her story and Kelly just blatantly interrupted her and she was going to have a scene. She was all ready to tell the scene. She was all excited. She had her wig on. She had given Dorinda the prompt to give so that way she could tell her story.

And that's all gone up in flames because of Kelly. I mean, what are we supposed to do? It's frustrating. What we're saying doesn't seem to penetrate Kelly. And as far as that story goes, no one ever penetrated me when I was green in New York. Luanne is so upset by this that she spends the rest of the episode like slinking off to the bar

in the living room, smoking a cigarette, like, I don't know anything. I just get no respect with these ladies. They try to tell a good story. I mean, they act like I'm just some beggar off the streets. I'm a caper star. People pay to hear my stories, am I right? Another vodka, please.

Oh my God, so Kelly is just going on and on. Like, I just don't understand why you have to call people names. I mean, I'm a single mom. Like, why would you do that? I mean, you call me a cuff fitness. Like I work. I mean, I have, I have buildings, you know, there are places in buildings that are apartments and I have to sell the apartments. I'm like, I have to buy them too, cause I'm also the customer. Like I'm a rug in apartments.

I literally do everything. So yeah. And, uh, they're just like, listen, you can't drop bombs and say, Oh, I just want to have fun. I want to do this. She goes, I can do whatever the fuck I want to render. You don't own me. I mean, and then Kristen's like, Kelly, read the room. Okay. I will narrate for you. Pause this whole situation. Sonny goes, it's not about the words, it's about the actions. And Kelly goes, um, hello, that's my life. I'm an action verb. You should know this as someone who gives out word hugs that I'm an action verb. Sonny goes, well, the verb is an action word. I'm not going to have someone call me a cut fitness, especially when I'm busy doing so many things. Do you know how many immigrants I've had to welcome into New York City while holding that torch up in my hand?

Because I'm doing everything. I'm even doing Lady Liberty's work. Pete Slauson And then Kelly goes, but guys, I'm like, literally a bird. Pete Larkin Oh, you're a bird now? Pete Slauson They're laughing though, like, what is this girl talking about? So then someone's like, I like her. At least she's not the same old fucking thing. Am I right? You know what? I do nothing. I do nothing. You know what? Just roll with it. Okay. It just doesn't make sense. I know it doesn't make sense, but we're trying to make sense out of nonsense. So then Kristen's like, I did open up and you accused me of not opening up and I stayed with my husband and we did work on it. And it was like

eight years of hard work. It was so much work. I was like, oh my God, are you going to try and out Kelly Kelly now? Kristen, she says, she does this preamble where she goes, Kelly, I think you're a wonderful woman and you have a lot to contribute, but I think your delivery is so off. And I'm going to say this respectfully, you built a wall up. And as long as we're talking about delivery being off, I just want to say, I'm the only one here who's still married. Pete Slauson Oh, my gosh. And so, she starts going off on her marriage and how much she went through and she goes, and guess what? You know, and

I guess what, Sonja? I stuck it out. And he's like, like, your choice was the only choice and the best choice for all of us. As if Sonja left, left that relationship on purpose, you know? And so now Kristen is bringing up old shit and trying to, it's kind of like old housewives trying to re audition and everyone else is like, Oh my God, can we make some dick jokes? Yeah. Well, cause Kristen's basically like, I was being honest and I chose not to cry in a public restaurant and I'm going through shit. And it seems like Kristen's basically like, I was being honest and I chose not to cry in a public restaurant and I'm going through shit. And it seems like Kristen's like really ramping up to make a good point here.

And then she goes, and if you look around, there are six women here and you're all divorced. And I chose to stick it out. Like, I don't know what point you were trying to make, but whatever it is, totally lost my statement. Yeah. So then Sonya's like, I mean, who sits at the table with a bunch of friends and says, and guess what? I'm the only one still married. Well, we all know there are people who are still married and hate each other, but I'm not going to judge Kristin or her marriage. So don't judge

my choices. I have my own guilt. So Kristin's like, everyone has their own journey. Now I don't remember where I'm going with this. And Kelly just goes, you are so beautiful. Now I don't even remember where I'm going with this." And Kelly just goes, "'You are so beautiful.'" And Dorinda starts cracking up and she's like, "'No, no, I'm serious. What you're saying right now, it's so beautiful.' And I'd say that as a mother who does literally everything." She's like, "'So beautiful.' And Kristen's like, "'But what I'm saying is you have your walls up. Your walls are up.'" She says, "'No, you're a new friend, Kristen,

and I'm just, I'm not gonna sit here and just be like open up about everything, even though you are so beautiful right now. So they're like, oh my God. So everybody's over this, right? And Kristen's like, the night has been a bust. I mean, I had games planned. This is really young and on trend.

And now it's just, everybody's angry now. And the man's like, oh my God, they call it a hamster wheel. And the hamster wheel just keeps going around and around, just stepping off the goddamn hamster wheel and onto a hot dog, am I right? I thought I was big enough that I didn't even have to play hamster cages anymore. Kelly's like, I just want to be friends. And Dorinda's like, well, that's easy. I just want to be friends with you.

Well, can you know what? Can you tell Dorinda you're ready to move forward with her? I just said that three times. So don't go backwards. So stupid. So now they have to have this whole C word conversation again. Oh my God. So now, Kelly, Sonia, Dorinda and Kristen are still outside and Dorinda is like, anyway,

I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what the end game is. She's like, you know what? I'm not going tit for tat because tit for tat is nastier and I'm busy and look, we're not in the fourth grade. Like I'm an action verb. So I'm an action verb who does everything as a single mother. It's not nasty.

It wasn't nasty. Just we're grown adults. Okay, listen, you know, you hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings. You know, I don't need or want this conflict. It's upsetting. We're just strong women kind of doing our best, right? And I'd like to wake up tomorrow morning and just be there.

Can we just start there? Kelly's a conundrum. It's like dealing with one of the Rubik's cubes. It's like a Rubik's cube. It's really hard. So they're trying to just end this dinner, but Kelly won't stop. So then Kelly goes and hugs Dorinda.

Well, because Dorinda goes, Dorinda goes, Kelly goes, I'm apologizing. And Dorinda goes, I just think I was apologizing. She goes, you were, you were. Oh my God. She's like, by the way, when I look at you sometimes, you look like Lady Dime. I'm not even kidding. We're so good now. Like Kelly just like flips on a dime and everyone's like, what the fuck is going on with her? And she goes, oh my God, now we're such good friends. If I knock on your door, have nightmares, I'm totally coming into your room. Disapology means everything to me because Dorinda is who she is. If she feels like saying something, she says it. I like that about her. So then-

Oh my God. Luan's just like, Lloyd, she's like, she has her cigarette. She goes into the confessional with a cigarette and Kristen's in there. She's recording a confessional. They're both like just frustrated with this evening. And Luann's like, I need a cigarette right now. That was intense. I didn't even get through my threesome story. Can we talk about when she interrupted my story to give her speech? Let's

talk about not reading the room. It was just like surreal. It was a surreal evening. Yeah. So it's the end of the night now and everybody's kind of going to bed. It was kind of a bust, right? And Doreen is like, I can't get off my necklace. It feels like Kelly. It's representative Kelly of Red Maniac. It's like if a necklace was made out of Rubik's cubes. You know, I can't get it wrapped. Kelly, you're laughed. So they help her with her necklace. And then we just got back to Luann sitting by the bar smoking a cigarette like, Martin, I didn't even get to tell my virginal story in New York. So Martin, last time I was in St. Barts, she shows him a picture of the Johnny Depp Pirate and he goes, oh, this was a long time ago. She goes, I look

the same, that's what you're supposed to say. Jesus Christ, can I catch a break? So, then other ladies were at the pool and everything and they're sort of talking and they're like, Dorinja's doing like a backstroke and they're joking about like her boobs and everything and Louann's like, okay, I'm gonna go over there. So she gets up and she goes like near where everyone's talking. Kristen, Kristen, of course, starts saying this stuff. She goes, you know what, Kelly, I'm just saying be vulnerable. Like, no, like where's your emotion? All that. Like I gave that to you time and time again. Oh my God, they're trying to have fun and

everyone's finally laughing and calming down and Kristen goes, Kelly, does it resonate what I said to you about the wall? Seriously? Oh my god. So then Luann's like, oh god, I'm going over here. She goes to the other side. And then Kelly and Kristen start going on and on about the same thing again. And Luann's like, I'm going in, like I'm staying behind a wall. It's not getting better. It's only going downhill from here. I'm going to stay cachet. That's French. Cause I'm going to be cachet, hidden. So Kelly is like, it's, you know what, Kristin, I had more deep conversations with Dorinda, but

you know what, like Kelly, that's like not fair. I'm just saying, I'm still trying with you. Yeah, but you were not the right tool for the job, Kristen. I need nurturing from Dorinda right now. I'm just like, oh my God. A merry-go-round, merry-go-round and a rubik's cube, black dragon. And Kelly's like, here's the thing. I'm about to get married and like literally

about to get married and you don't even know that because you don't ask me. Well, you don't tell me anything. Well, everybody else knows, but you like Luann knows, Sonia knows, Ramona knows, Jorinda knows, because like, what are we in kindergarten? Like are you a verb or are you in action? Like I don't even know. Well, I asked you, I said, are you dating? Are you dating?

Are you dating? And you know what you said to me? You said it's complicated. Exactly. Exactly. But you clearly didn't want to share. And guess what? I respected that. And you don't have the same respect for me. Oh my God. This is literally exhausting watching these two. And then she's, oh my God, just go everyone's like, bye. And she's like, I just think it's really fucked up. Like you fucking fought over and over and over again. You and Dorinda at the table. And she's like, I just think that's really fucked up. Like you fucking fought over and over and over again, you and Dorinda at the table. And Kelly's like, yeah, but I wanted her friendship. I want her friendship. I mean, I like you. So she gets up until tomorrow.

I'm going to try again tomorrow. I'm going to like, maybe like, maybe I won't say wall again. Maybe I'll be like, you, you put me outside a box there. I'll go with that one. Spoiler alert. I mean, I guess I just told you what I'm going to do tomorrow. So Sonia is like, um, she's like, well, you know, you know, uh, Kelly, you make her feel less important when you're saying I'm in love with Dorinda. And Kelly's like, well, where I am in my life right now, maybe talking and communicating with Kristen isn't the right person because I need actual serious advice because I'm about to get married, I'm about to move out of my family home, and I'm doing everything. I'm the mom, I'm the dad, I'm

also the preacher marrying myself. I'm like, God, so Kristin's in the confessional, like, what is going on? Like, I tried and I just want to go on record and say, I attempted to get to know you and like, that's on you, that's not on me. She knows, She told you she doesn't want to get to know you, Kristin. Go away. Kristin needs to just learn to be like, gone. When people just dismiss her, she needs to walk away. Because this is the same thing that happened with Bethany. Remember that? When Bethany was like, oh God, why are you here? She's like, you're trying to ice me out. You're like putting me in a box. And she's like, oh God, please, please go. I'm like,

you're in a box. I'm shipping the box back. UPS, please go. I pay for the postage. I printed out the postage. Please leave me alone. She's like, but why am I in a box? It's so funny because Kristen really is kind of needy. She really wants to be, like she wants to be welcomed or not. She doesn't want to be iced out more like she, it seems to be a real trigger for her, which is funny because she's just like, like so drop dead gorgeous.

And normally it's the drop dead gorgeous people who are like people flock to and hear the drop dead gorgeous person is like, don't ice me out. Come on, include me, include me. But it's just a show beauty can only take you so far. Well, on a group of, you know, older ladies, that's, that's like a housewife thing, you know, like the usually they'll cast a younger woman just to piss off the ladies in the cast. So you know, it's classic, classic casting. Yeah. To bring some spice, but yeah, she's annoying as hell.

My God, I forgot. But that's the end of episode number four. We'll be back next week with a new episode of number five, to complete the set of the Ultimate Girls Tri recaps thanks everyone for being here we'll have a recap of chimp crazy up tomorrow and we'll catch you on the next episode bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney stroll in the park with Kaitlyn Clark.

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