Watch What Crappens - #2550 Chimp Crazy E04: Chimp My Ride

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Chimp Crazy comes to a fittingly insane ending and we are left to ponder super deep issues. Mainly, which came first? Tonia or her wigs? To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Watch what happens, oh, I mean, watch what happens. Guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Whoa, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Good, happy Monday on 110 degree day in the valley in Los Angeles. So you're not in the valley, but you know.

How's it going over there? How are you holding up, my little tiger? Holding up well. I'm in the air conditioning, thank God. It's blazing hot outside. How are you doing over there in the valley? I'm luckily on the other side of the hill, so it's not quite as hot, but it's already pretty horrific over here. Well, I'm doing great. Good. Having a great time. And it's a big day for us here at Watch What Crappens.

We've got a lot going on this week, everybody, so hold tight. Here's what's happening. We are going to be covering Chimp Crazy, final episode right now. That's coming right up today. And then after that, we're going to be recapping the first episode of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. The preview was on our main feed last week. We're going to do this one on the main feed. And that's it, because they all dropped in one day. So we're going to see how that goes. Maybe we'll put a couple on Patreon later. I don't know. See how you like it, but that'll be coming later this week. Also, we're going to be doing all the regular Bravo

shows and Crappy Hour tonight, which is our live Instagram live slash YouTube live show. So join us for that 5.30 PM Pacific time. We really enjoy talking to you, reading your comments, talking about Bravo news, et cetera. Okay. And I think that's it for now. How are you feeling about all that, Ben? I'm feeling great.

I'm really excited to wrap up this show and move on to secret lives of Mormon wives. That is a hoot, but you know, we have business to attend to. Like, what's gonna happen at Tanky B? Is Alan Cumming gonna be reunited with his chimp that he claims he remembers so vividly? I don't know, a lot of pressing questions for this final hour of this documentary.

Yes. So, we open with another scene of Tanya. I mean, you know, when you go to acting class or something like that, or when you read like a review on a movie or acting or whatever, people are like, you know, it's really, they're so comfortable on camera. It's like they were born for it. You know, there's like a certain thing about being comfortable. Tanya would poop on camera, you know what I mean? Like, she is just comfortable on camera. I can just imagine her just squatting and pooping just on the camera. She'll let you film anything and they literally just sit there this entire documentary and just hold the camera on this crazy lady. That's the one. Is her just in bed sleeping with her eyes

closed. Lord, well, she's not sleeping. She's thinking deeply, but it looks like she's sleeping. And you just hear, like weird choking mouth sounds, like I don't know what's even going on with her. And then she just goes, I'm rabid. What are you doing over there? What's happening? Why are you shooting this? This is a lady who is, she is like lonely or there's something in her where she just gravitates

to people who need her. And this documentary crew needs her. And I think she wants to be needed as was explained last episode. And whether it's a monkey or documentary filmmaker, she is going to go to where she feels like she could be of use. So she's like, wow, I'm going to do a documentary and something like an idiot and you know, it's going to undo my entire evil plan. But well, then they need me. So I'm going to do a documentary that's going to make me look like an idiot and, you know, it's going to undo my entire evil plan, but, well, then they need me. So I'm going to lie down on this bed and, you know, open my eyes for them. That's what they need.

So we get a monologue from her to open it. And while the monologue is going on, we get scenes from King Kong where King Kong is holding Jessica Lange. That's Jessica Lange, right? I believe so, yeah. And oh my God, youth. Am I right? Like, where's it gone? Where's my youth gone? You know, I'm sorry that this... I'm sorry to be so narcissistic about everything, but all I could think of watching this is like, I don't want to age. I hate aging. It's so lame. And like, I want a monkey. And, you know, why doesn't anybody bathe me like they bathe Terkel? That's a terrible takeaway from this.

I want a monkey. I do though. I mean, I totally get the fascination that these people have, you know? No, no, like it's so like to me, it's reverse fascination. Like I don't want an animal that could, at some point decide to rip my entire face off. I don't want an animal that's at some point decide to rip my entire face off. I don't want an animal that's just gonna fling its poop around. It's human-like, but I don't

know, why not just get a human at that point? I don't know. I think that's because I listen to a lot of Dateline and I watch a lot of mysteries and I'm obsessed with really dark stories. But here's what I know, people kill you all the time. We still talk to people. What are you gonna stop talking to people? There are school shootings. I still am nice to children. You know what I know, people kill you all the time. We still talk to people. Like, what are you gonna stop talking to people? Like, there are school shootings. I still am nice to children. You know what I mean? Like, you still have to put yourself out there.

I mean, that was a very dramatic jump there. I'm sorry, I don't know why that jumped into my head. But you know what I mean. Like, you still gotta put yourself out there. It's bad, but you still gotta- Okay, I'm playing baby or a chimp. Okay, how about a plant? How about a nice little potted plant, okay? That, a potted plant is not gonna rip your face off You still got it. You still got it. You still got it. You still got it. You still got it.

Okay, how about a plant? How about a nice little potted plant? Okay, a potted plant is not gonna rip your face off unless something weird is going on. Well, it could. We watched a little shop up for us, but anyway, I get it. I think he's cute. I want one. Okay, so she's like, Tonka always makes me feel safe, which is just such a funny way

to frame it because we literally watched people get ripped limb from limb on this show, but she's like, yeah, Tonka makes me feel safe. If he's around, no one's ever going to hurt me ever. And if someone breaks into my house, Tonka will, I guess I'll just run up to the bars of his prison and make a couple of oohs. I'm not really sure how he could save me. Hopefully I'll fling some poop at him until they go away. But I don't know, I'm not afraid of you robbers. You know, his eyes are so soft and so loving. You know, that's Tanka's soul. That's the spirit. And you should see the way his eyes glaze over

when I give him a box of nerds. Oh, God, that sugar rush. His eyes basically turn into spirals at that point, then he falls back and he's pretty much passed out for the rest of the day. But, you know, he's just a very kind and loving person. And everybody gets mad, and you know, especially like my husband, because he thinks I should put before Tonk, Tonky B. But there's no way that Jerry's as loyal as Tonka is to me. I mean is Tonka forced to be loyal to me because if he's not loyal to me does he not get any food? Perhaps. Is he forced to be nice to me because without me he can't watch Instagram videos of other monkeys? Perhaps, but you know no one's gonna be as loyal as Tank. Hey, is Jerry loyal to me? I don't know.

I mean, is he hooked to a radiator? No. Was that a problem that I could fix easily? Probably. Really. Would he care? Probably not. Jerry would probably love nothing more than to be chained to a goddamn radiator.

Take that. Give him an excuse to not go work. He could just throw some fries at the TV and pretend he's bowling. He really was Jeremy, loser. So now we are hearing knocking on the door, banging on the door, the sound of sirens. Authorities have come to seize Tonky B. And we see Tony, of course, is filming it.

She's like, well, I got a duty as a filmmaker. Better get it on my iPhone. I get it. Let me make sure everyone can see this by shaking my camera around a lot and aiming it at my shoes for half the footage. If it was that Mormon show, she'd be making a TikTok with that song.

Love me, love me. She'd be like dancing and it would just say, FBI has showed up to take my chips. Love me, love me. When the authorities showed up at her door, I was like, can mom talk even survive this? I'm not sure. So yeah, and she's so calm. I mean, look, I get pulled over by the police for a speeding ticket or whatever. And I poop myself. I'm like, I'm dead. I'm going to prison. They're going to kill me. I'm like, yeah, terrified. I'm terrified. They come to my window. I'm like, yes sir. What can I do for you? She's got fucking there around the block. You look out there,

lined up down the block, you know, there's helicopters and say, God, we got a real shit show over here. Motherfuckers were fucking Peewee Herman. She's like nothing faces this lady. Yeah. By the way, I think like, I would have preferred some sort of context for what the hell was going on. I mean, we could deduce that they're there to take the monkey, but then it seems like it's she seems to be able to walk in and out of her house, you know, without any issues. I thought she'd get arrested. Is she going to be arrested?

Like where was the documentary crew to like, like where was their footage of them talking to the PETA guy to explain what they were trying to do or police officers? It to like, like, where was their footage of them talking to the PETA guy to explain what they were trying to do or police officers. It was like a totally out of context moment that just sort of starts the show. And so she's there, she's looking at the authorities. And so she calls up Dwayne and or actually he calls her and he's like, are you all right? And she's like, no, there's about five of them and they're sitting in my semi formal dining room and I'm out in Jerry's truck. She's like, I've got my formal dining room

and I've got my semi formal dining room for all of Tanya's semi formal dinner parties that she has at her zoo house. Yeah, I mean, they're in the one with the bark of loungers, better fucking respect where they're sitting, I'll tell you that much. And yeah, I'm a Jera's truck. You know, apparently on May 22nd, someone recorded me talking about Tonk and they turned me in about him putting him down.

Did you hear me? Did you hear me, Dwayne? Dwayne's like, yep, just juggling some bowling pins. Yeah, well, they knew everything. Whoever gave me up gave an audio recording. I'm gonna have to go through my phone. I'm gonna have to look at who I talked to on May the 22nd.

Yeah, gosh, I hope I find time to do that at some point. But at some point I will, May 22nd, I'm gonna look it up. I wonder who I could have talked to on that day who had recording equipment that I also felt comfortable not divulging important information to. I just, it's, I don't know, Dwayne, I'm having trouble thinking.

You think you could, let's see, can you help me out with this one? I'm trying to think, who did I speak? I didn't even speak to anyone. I think I only spoke to you. So do you know who it could have been? I really had a loss here. Dwayne's like, hey, do me a favor, Ton.

Feel behind your ear. Wow, it's Ron Nicol there. How'd that get there? That's exactly right, Ton, feel behind your ear. Wow, is there a nickel there? How'd that get there? That's exactly right, Ton. That's exactly right. All right. Well, sure hope I can figure out who I talk to on the 22nd of May. He's like, okay, okay. So you're not in custody, right? She's like, well, listen, I got a consultation to get my lips filled and a 415. got to make that appointment. You know, I understand they're trying to take away my monkey baby, you know, he's basically my son. He's my kid. He's my kid.

That's what we call him, my kid. He means everything to me, Tonky B. And I know they're gonna, nothing's gonna get in between me and Tonky B, cause that's my kid. But as it turns out, I do have a, I do have to go to the med spot 415. So we're just going to have fingers crossed he's still there when I get back. So then she's like, I got a plan. I'm getting

him out of here tonight. And I didn't know if this I was hoping it had something to do with the lip appointment. Like she was going to have that guy from the pet boys who does her lip injections helping her like, okay, lips are ready and sneak him in, sneak them in, get them in here, you know, like, maybe just make her lips so big that the monkey's hiding behind them. I have no idea. Or that she was going to take Tonkin and just get him some new boob, you know, some new Restylane, some boobs, some big lips, make it like unrecognizable. I don't know, but it never came back. I think she was just getting her lips done. And you know what, I love her gumption. Jared Slauson Yeah, I just am so confused. If the authorities were in her semi-formal dining room and there was like five people in there, why did… And she's

surrounded by officers, like, why did she think that she, like, she was going to be able to get them out of there tonight? It seemed to me like they were going to take Tonk that day. I was just confused. Maybe they just like set up a perimeter to make sure she couldn't get him out. But like... She's got huevos of steel. That's how, I mean, how did she... This woman does whatever she wants and she hasn't been caught yet. I mean, she stole, she kidnapped him right before the raid and got him to the second floor of a Motel 6. I mean, why would she think she's going to get caught? Yeah, just...

I do whatever I want. I'm taking Tanki to the Oscar Awards, but you know, after that we can we can maybe hang out, you know, We're gonna go do a couple of rounds of the Olympics to lose and wins. I'm telling you. Yeah I'm gonna go to Mexico. I have some Mexicans build them a nice hammock. So Eric is like He's on the phone with Dwayne. Eric is the actual director and he's like so Apparently the entire, uh, phone call with Tanya's public record, it's not even sealed. It's just, it's just right out there. And Dwayne's like, Oh, so he's like, well, the question is, where does that leave us? And he's like, well,

a hundred percent she's going to know. And whether she knows now or later, like, did you get any sense that she was suspicious? And Dwayne's like, no, like she's still has not. later? Like, did you get any sense that she was suspicious? And Dwayne's like, no, like, she still has not figured it out. Not suspicious at all. She hasn't figured out how to go back in her phone logs and look at May 22nd yet. So, I think we're okay. We're probably okay for a few days. So, then we go and we see him getting ready to film, you know, him going in there, putting on a wire and stuff. And he's like, oh gosh, what do you guys think?

Well, first of all, you should probably take off the nose. Oh, all right. I know. All right, do I look all right? Are you gonna squirt her with the water flower? I wouldn't do that. It's a tense situation. Maybe regular shoes instead of those six foot long ones.

Yeah. So. This is not the time to be tripping. So, uh, yeah, I guess what we find out here is that, uh, the authorities can't take Tonka away until the vet comes into a stable until there is a vet who can come and then can do like a, an exam. So they're just all the, the authority is just like camped out waiting, the marshals, et cetera. So Dwayne, yeah, he is, um, he goes, he infiltrates Tanya's house wearing a wire, which is so funny. It's so excessive. He literally could have come in there with a full on camera and she would be like, Oh,

thank God there's someone here to document my side of the story. Anyway, I just don't know if someone's documenting me and I guess they turned me in. I don't know who else that could have been. So I don't know. Maybe one of the other clowns you got hidden in your car. Yeah, exactly. So he's like, Oh, I see a us Marshall out there camped out. She's like, Oh, gosh. Yeah, there he is. You know, just my hair looks horrible, but thanks. Oh, by the way, guess what?

Rolling stones magazine interviewed me. I hope it's a good one. We'll see about that. Dwayne's like, wait, they're going to put you on the cover of Rolling Stone? You know, then he turns to Tanya's son, who's just sitting there, standing there in the kitchen, and he's like, you know, you kids are too young to remember,

but if you were a rock star or a very popular clown, to get your picture on the cover of Rolling Stone was like, I mean, that was like getting your picture on the cover of Time Magazine. And the son just like stares at him, like A, I don't even know what time magazine is B why are you here exactly he's like tell me about the talkies old man tell me about the talkies he's like I've got call of duty to play uh so she's like oh you know I don't know who snitched but

it was on the news Dwayne I hardly told anybody Dwayne I didn't even tell Connie honestly I wanted to take him out of here tonight I'm gonna take him out of here tonight what do you have to say for yourself Dwayne what do you think and he's just like why are you making circus music oh sorry I thought that I was using my inside voice all right stop making the circus music we just have to figure out who did I talk to on May 22nd, May 22nd. I'm going to stare at you for a long time, which makes it seem like I know it was you, but it turns out I'm just staring. I don't know what it is. Yeah, she's got that kind of a face. When they showed her young getting married and she just

looked completely vacant, she had those weird little bangs and she was just kind of staring off into space. I think she's one of those people that really does get better with age because now it all just kind of makes sense. It just looks like she's got, you know, a lot of Botox and stuff, but I think that's just her personality. I think the Botox makes her personality work, I guess is what I'm trying to say, because I think she just has that kind of blank staring at a wall kind of a stare. She doesn't really have a lot of drool coming down her mouth, but I would imagine that sometimes she does. And she just staring at him like that, like, I would break under the pressure. I started admitting shit just watching the show. I was like, I did know that that parking meter wasn't broken. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I parked there anyway. I did have ice cream last night and I had that shit door dashed.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So basically, Dwayne's like, listen, I think it's time for it to end. If you try to go on the run, PETA's gonna love it, it'll be on America's Most Wanted. You really shouldn't. And she's like, I don't know.

So now it's the next day. I've always only wanted to be wanted, so that actually sounds pretty good And you're saying I would be the entire country's most wanted. Well sign me up Yeah, I'm into it. So then His next day and you know, there's just more people outside. So now she's watching and she's all ears There's Jared Goodman right there a little weasel fucking prick He better fucking stay away

He better be he better make sure he's on the sidewalk when I come out with my car, because I'm going to run him over as soon as I get a chance to. Okay? You better watch his ass. Little fucking hands. And her kid's like, don't do anything silly, mama. She's like, be quiet other son. Be quiet. Yeah, I'm not going to say I'm not going to go postal, because let me tell you, I'm not ready to let him go.

He's not ready to go. He's like a kid. You can't, you just can't take someone's kid away. Yeah, it's like if they tried to take Justin, huh? No, you can take Justin. Yeah. Justin go with him. Mom, they're gonna arrest me. They're gonna arrest me to try to get you to talk.

Oh, well, you know, have fun in jail. You'll meet some of your friends. It's about time that you're in your place. Hey, Weasley, you wanna take someone? Take Justin. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. I'm Dan Tversky. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. Like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down-low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well you were holding something back intentionally.

Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+.

What's up, guys? It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good, and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay? Every episode, I bring on a friend. I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

So follow, watch, and listen to, baby, this is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So then Tanya goes downstairs to Tonka's cage where he's jumping around and she's like, oh, this is how stressed out they make him. I mean, he literally has gone ape. That's a play on words.

Right there, ape, ape. Well, and they think that this is not harming the rancid ship. Look how stressed he is. Look, you know what? Like some people would say the rancid ship. Look how stressed he is. Look, you know what? Like some people would say it was the bars and the tiny confinement that he's been stuck in and that this is actually him being excited that he might be moving to a new place.

But no, I think it's the other way around. I think that he normally would be very unstressed in this cage and they're making him very stressed right now. So they're, it's so hot in here. I keep pressing mute to turn on the fan for a little interest for his moments. So So there's a there's like a tiny moment. That's what I'm doing over here I'm like fan fan fan, then I turned it off to talk just put your fan on I think the listeners will will allow the sound of fan. It's okay. Really? Everyone says ben speaking to the listeners, uh, raise your hand if you're okay with ronnie turning out a fan on a heat wave

Okay by account, that's 50,000 to one. Whoever, hey, fuck you, the person who said no. But is that too loud? It's loud, I told you. Wait, I don't hear it. You don't? I don't hear it. It's the sound of Tanya staring at you, demanding an answer. So yeah, he's, you know, you hear him down there like, and then we

cut to everybody's favorite charismatic lady, Brittany P. She's like, when we stepped foot on Tanya's property, we didn't know if we were going to walk out with Tonka alive, or if he would come out in a body bag. Jesus, lady, do you do parties? Good lord. So basically they sedated Tonka and they pulled him out. They did like a medical exam on him on the patio, which we watch. And then there's like a lot of news footage

about how Tonka is essentially like, Tonka's been found. The crazy year long story of a missing Hollywood jimp has finally come to its conclusion. So basically they pulled Tonka has been found. The crazy year long story of a missing Hollywood chimp has finally come to its conclusion. So basically they pulled Tonka out of there. I was like, oh, this is gonna be a wild last episode, a standoff, but like we're five minutes in, Tonka's already being pulled off to a better life

at like basically Chimp Club Med. And so, you know, off the goes. You better stop dissing my show. This is the most amazing show on television. I will not have this slander from you. I wasn't even remotely dissing, because listen, there will be dissing, but this is not it. I was just like, oh, where is this going to go? Because it's like, now what?

You're like, some season finale, so she's just, Chanka's just been rescued by the FBI. I'm just fucking with you. So yeah, I love the news, how much cred they give to celebrity, even when they're chimps. They're like, guys, it's a Hollywood star that's been rescued. He was seen in movies, Buddy and George of the Jungle, now in others. It's not just a regular chimp, guys. It is a semi-famous chimp.

AC This is a chimp that like in another world, could have been part of the surreal life house, you know? But unfortunately, he was kept in a truly a surreal life in the basement of a house in Missouri. So he really wasn't able to live out his like post, his post fame years the way every other celebrity gets to, which is to appear on a reality show and try to like resuscitate their flame. And then we see the house, a shot of the house, and then they transfer us to the other house, which is Travis

and Sandy's house. Travis is the chimp that ripped off the lady's face, right? Yes. Travis is a chimp. Can we just pretend this stuff didn't happen? I don't like this dark stuff. I just want to follow Tanya around and that's it. Like, I want to see Tanya go to Walmart, you know what I mean? I want to see Tanya like take a bath. I want to see Tanya. I want to see Tanya dealing with like girl scouts that come to the door. You know, I don't, I don't need to see people getting their rip. Not this episode. Does walking around feeding camels.

And look how good it was. She's like, God, I love the kids. I just love the kids. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, but instead we go back to Stamford, Connecticut. We're a home of not just a Bennegan's that I used to go to, but a vicious chimp attack that we saw in episode two. And basically we're going back to Sandy Herald. Sandy was the owner of the chimp and it was Sandy's friend, Charla, who was viciously mauled. And we have my favorite my favorite talking

had Nadina Trulini, Sandy's friend who sits on a sofa like oh god let me tell you something about Sandy. I've been wanting to talk about Sandy for a while okay yeah. After the loss of Travis a lot of people had their opinions about Sandy. Guess what they They were all wrong. Because Sandy made a mean lasagna and until you make a fucking good lasagna, I don't want to hear anything out of your mouths. People were saying horrible things about Sandy. It was just horrible listening to the things they said.

Oh, what? She's fucking a chimp? Really? That's what we're saying now, huh? That's what the news does now? That's what we get in mainstream media? Lame stream media is most like it. Sandy never did nothing to nobody. Yeah. And this lady was like, could this lady be on every show? I want them to cut to her on every housewives show.

Just be like, yes, that girl stalked him a little. So what? You know, like, what are you going to do? Who doesn't have a, who doesn't have an Instagram where they tell people off every once in a while, You know? And then we see Carrie, Sandy's stepdaughter, saying, you know, it was all over the world. Sandy had to like, you know, go into hiding, you know, and all of a sudden she's the mother that, you know, may have contributed to this horrible thing that happened to Charlotte Nash.

And then we see footage from the Cleveland Clinic where they're working on Charlotte's face. And then we go to the Oprah episode where Oprah's like, you know, Oprah's like trying to, this is kind of like, it's so darkly funny because Oprah is doing this thing that's like trying to be like, I'm gonna empower this woman who went through this vicious attack, but it's really just to be like, let's get some ratings out of this.

She's like, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. By the way, I think a lot of people want to take a photo with you. Do you mind if I lift up that veil? I'm like, Oprah, this poor lady, she just wants to be behind her veil right now, but she lifts up the veil. This is pre-Oprah becoming like changed because this is like pre-self-help Oprah. This was like still exploitation era Oprah when she's like, happy birthday, lift your veil. It's like, oh my God, they even cut away from it in this documentary, which is explicitly about that. Well, not explicitly about that, but it is about that. And they even wouldn't feature it on this, and this is HBO. But back in those days, Oprah was just like, take off your fucking mask, lady. I get on the bus home.

And she did, she did, but they cut away from it. Thank goodness. Um, so yeah, cause you can see her face got really like, man, I mean, like it's, I think that's what's so horrifying is like this lady lost her eyes. You see, she lost so many of her fingers. She lost her jaw. I mean, I don't even like, it's just such a, it's, it's a scare. It's scary. And you know, I'm sure she has found a way to, you know, you know, move. What's the word? Uh, I don't know. Overcome, overcome the challenges, which I think is great, but man, that is so

scary. So yeah, we see the Oprah thing and then Nadina's saying how she basically couldn't watch it and everything. And so she's like, well, why don't we see we, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I was going to say that like, that, uh, that basically Nadine Nadina's like, once I saw a Sharla unveil her face, she's like, I can watch it. And like for the next, and basically Sandy was inconsolable and she was sad and lost. And, you know, everyone had basically died in her family. Yeah. And she's like, you know, she was keeping everything intact as if Travis was still alive, the Amodal, you know, all those pictures on the fridge, you know, was like frozen in time.

And so we see shots of all that and we see little shots of Sandy and at one point she's like, you know, I do everything for Trav. I cook for him, I did everything for him. I cooked for him, I cleaned for him, I worked all day. I had dinner on the table. I did his laundry. And I was like, you know, if you were my friend and you were talking about a man like this, I'd be like, leave him. You know what I mean? Like, Travis, like, honestly sounds lazy. There, I said it. Okay? How can you train these chimps to do so much, but they can't fry an egg? Know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. I'd be like, if it's your husband, leave them. If it's your son, I'd be like, you know what? Like, you need to stop spoiling this kid.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, they can train them to do everything. Why is that chimp? Like who wants to see a chimp? Like later we see one, um, balancing on a barrel, like rolling a barrel and like balancing on it. Where's the weed pulling? You know what I mean? Where's the chimp that knows how to use a Swiffer? Yeah. Fetch the mail, take the garbage out. So, um, basically, uh, Sandy was so distraught after all this happened that she sought out a medium with hopes to still be able to communicate with her husband who had died. Just kidding, not her husband, her monkey. She wanted to talk to the monkey. Pretty much. And the medium is really good. The medium is like, today is February 2nd and this month has something to do with Travis and anniversary of birthday.

Travis is coming through and she's like, he died February 16th. Oh, okay. Well, he's there. He's there with you. He's telling you he's taking care of everything. Well, except he's still not working or doing any chores or cooking or doing his own laundry and he's still throwing poop at a wall. But he says, stop worrying mommy, stop worrying me. And then he's telling me that there's someone else coming in.

Are you getting another one? I'll look at the mediums like, are you getting another fucking monkey? And she's like, I already got one. You fucking addict. Oh my God. These things are like lines of cokes in a gay bathroom. It's like, like some Twink's ass bent over in a bathroom stall in West Hollywood, like offering up a line. What is wrong with you? I have to, I have an update about Oprah by the way. You remember saying like, oh, speaking of doing lines off Twink's asses in bars in West Hollywood, remember ahead. Oprah Winfrey. Remember we were saying like, this was back when Oprah was more tabloid. This, this attack happened in 2009. The Oprah episode probably aired in 2009 or 2010.

This was late stage Oprah because the final Oprah Winfrey show was in 2011. So this was fully when Oprah was actually, Oh, wow. This was, this was self when Oprah was actually, Oh, wow. This was, this was self help Oprah. But she was like, I'm going to have a viral moment. Yeah. She's like, take off your mask and then I'll give you a free deep, deep, deep book. The reason why it looks so old, I realized whenever they show news footage, they do something, they make it look like it's really old. But I was like, when they were showing footage of a Tonka being saved, that was last year. And all the footage looks like it's from old. But I was like, when they were showing footage of Tonka being saved,

that was last year. And all the footage looks like it's from like 1992. I was like, oh, they probably put a filter on it to make it look low res. So that way we can see that it's like this is, you know, our cut. This is, this is not of the film. And this is like stuff that was on TV. So that's why it looks so old. But I was like, this was like 11 years, 13 years ago. Well, that brings up kind of a question I have about this, the production of this. Like how do we have a recording of Sandy talking to the medium?

She recorded it? And she recorded it on an audio cassette, which even by 2010, that was already a pretty dead medium, which was, that was like my first take was like, wait, she recorded on a tape? So do you think she was recording it because she was paying for it

and she just wanted to hear any like, like what if Tonky started talking through, what if the lady was like, I feel it's a, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I could see that. Or it could be the psychic who taped it, the psychic could have, and maybe I could- She's like, oh my God, the medium just threw poop in my face. Or it could be the psychic who taped it. The psychic could have. And maybe I could-

She's like, oh my God, the medium just threw poop in my face. This isn't just a psychic medium. It's a medium that saves dying mediums. So we're going to use audio cassette. I'm really glad I got that audio cassette burn out there on the podcast. Yeah, I like that. Dying. Like, let's get this back on eight track, all right?

Fuck you, tapes. So Eric is talking to Pam. Now we go to Pam. Right. So Pam is. I love Pam. Which one is Pam? Is she the trainer?

Pam Rosetta, daughter Pam. They all love Pam. Poor Sandy. She was really lonely for chimps. There's people around you sometimes, but sometimes even if you're in a subway station or a packed amusement park, you look around and you realize, why do I feel lonely? I'm around so many people. This is why none of them are chimps. Oh, she missed her own chimp and she drags us down. Um, Pam Rosair, you know, but I liked about having Pam Rosair come back into the documentary cause she was

in the first episode. We really do have a nice like Jessica Lang bookend here because we see the King Kong with young Jessica Lang. I feel like Jessica Lange, when this gets turned into the inevitable Ryan Murphy show, Jessica Lange will play Pam Rosair. And I will be so down for that. Oh yeah, there'll just be a lot more sobbing because you know that's how Jessica Lange rolls.

She's just like, eh, eh, tongue. Tongue. I was beautiful. I'm young song. Of American or so it to the Nixon what else? I don't know. I don't even watch American Horror Story. I just got

ready. I got the spirit of being like a like a sobbing Jessica Lang. That's that's it. Jessica Lange sobbing crazily and everything. By the way, amazingly as well. Icon mother. Icon. OK, so I was like, yeah, I know, Sandy. She's she's just lonely for chimps and she, you know, she would follow us all over the country. Oh, sorry. I was I was talking like Tanya.

She showed up all over the place. Affairs, rodeos, circus. I went to I was talking like Tonya. She showed up all over the place. If there's rodeos circus, I went to a Walmart was to get baby wipes. There she was. Just pretending she was getting her own baby wipes said, you're not just getting your own baby wipes. We're in Alhambra. All right. What do you need? Where are you following me? One day I ran into her and she was crying. She said she'd seen the most beautiful, beautiful uplifting movie she'd ever seen in her life. I was like, what was it? It goes, Planet of

the Apes. She said it was a vision of what the future could be someday. I was so happy for her, but she wouldn't leave me alone. So we see her sitting at breakfast with her chimp chants. And she's like, Chance, can you speak a chimp? Speak for him, say, I'm a chimpanzee. And he mouths it perfectly. And she has now say, I'm a Pam troglodyte. Ready? Pam troglodyte. I like that she's just being as offensive as possible with her chimp. So Eric's asking how, about Chance basically. And Pam's like well who people that had him didn't have the right permits and I saw he was gonna get confiscated and

euthanized so I thought hey what are you waiting for go get it so then we go back to Sandy on that recording on the tape stupid outdated media and she's like well she called me up and she said you you want to go partners? And I know you can't have one now. So she said you could buy it for just $33,000. I was 20 grand short. So Sandy sent her a certified check for that chip. All she requested was that they name it chance because it's given the baby another chance and the mediums like, it gives you another chance. And she goes, it gives me another chance. It gives her another chance.

It gives my neighbors another chance to be terrified. It gives that one a little too far. It gives Charlotte another chance to, uh, I don't know, maybe be traumatized. Let's just focus on Sandy. Let's focus on Sandy's chances. Give so many chances to ambulances. We're really going to do it. I mean, this really is a sickness that these people get. They get addicted to the monkey. Chimp crazy. So, they're chimp crazy. They really are chimp crazy. So, when we go back to Sandy's

stepdaughter, Carrie, and she's like, after having a friend completely being torn up to pieces, she got another one. I mean, if you really think about it, it's kind of crazy, right? Really? Yeah, I don't have to think about it that deeply, Carrie. Okay. I was like, no, I thought it was pretty normal. Wait a second.

I just thought about it. This is insane. I'm like, no, it's pretty insane, even just on a very basic level. Yeah. Well, you know, she would fly down there and she'd hang out with those chimps and she'd go down to Sarasota or whatever. She'd do it all the time.

Really, she just loved that chump. Yeah. Yeah, well, she wanted a chance to stay the night with her because she stayed with us and he wouldn't stay in the bed where he kept on sneaking off to me. He already knew I was his mom. I love this competition they have. Like, good luck. Hey, thanks for the $20, Sandy,

but he's never going to sleep in your bed. I'm his mama now. Chance, call this bitch a troglodyte. Do it. Do it, Chance. So Carrie said- Sandy's just like crumpled up in a corner going back and forth. So Nadine is like, Sandy thought visiting with Pam would really help with the pain. But in the end, it was like, wait a minute, this ain't making it better. And then it just turns, I mean, turns sad. It's been sad. But basically one day she came in and she told Kerry, you know, I'm not feeling very good, so I'm gonna go take a bath. And she did. And she said, and then that was it. And we think that there may have been some, you know, self-harm or whatever

here. But it turns out she literally died of a broken heart. She died of a torn aorta. Torn aorta. It was like aortic aneurysm, something like that. Yeah. So she's out. So then the reporter was like, Sandra Harrell died all alone, vilified to the very end for raising a wild chimp and not getting it in one single film. Wow. Wow. Wish I could celebrate this chimp more. Unfortunately, it does not know any movies. It does not know Sandra Bullock. Okay, sorry. Nobody cares. Let's go to commercial. And Pam is saying that, you know, Sandy loved that animal. And, you know, she's like, I love my chimps, but part of you dies with them, you know? So, uh,

now we go back to Dwayne and he's driving and, uh, he's trying to call Tanya and, um, uh, she's not answering and everything. Um, like, you know, he's leaving messages and he's saying like, Hey, you can always reach out and find me, but like no one's, he's texting like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick I can't fucking take it, man. Use the microphone, do something. He's like, oh, come on, I'm just trying, hold on, I'm almost done. So Tanya's figured it out mainly because not through her own and very, what could have been a very simple investigation and some deduction by looking at our phone records. It's because the Rolling Stone article finally came out and the Rolling Stone article was like, yeah, there was a documentary film crew

that turned Tanya into PETA. So she's like, oh, okay. So now they sit down with Cheyenne Rowntree who is the journalist from Rolling Stone who wrote the article. And she just seems so sweet. Yeah. Doesn't she? She's like, I'm really about entertainment reporting for the most part.

Yeah, I heard about a story. And so I followed it. And that's where I met Tanya. I was like, oh my God, are you 12? And why are you so sweet? How is this person in entertainment? I feel like entertainment reporters like, I just did heroin with Taylor Swift's age. I don't know, I'm trying to think of a rock star. That's not really a rock star, is it? Yeah, no, normally like a Rolling Stone reporter, I used to know someone who wrote for Rolling Stone and she was very much like, yeah,

just interviewed Vitamin C. Yeah, about the graduation song. But this one, this lady is more just like, I think happy. She's like, she got put on the chimpanzee beat and she's just happy for it. So she loves it. Yeah. And she's like, you know, it's a little bit different of a story, but Alan Cumming was kind of a gateway.

So that's how I got to do it. How is Alan Cumming a gateway to anything? I mean, listen, I love Alan Cumming from The Good Wife and most recently The Traders, but when all of this was going on, Alan Cumming wasn't like, I mean, they're making it sound like Julia Roberts signed on.

You know? I know, it's like, hmm, Alan Cumming's not like, he's not like a- He has a lot more pull than I thought, yeah. Comma shoes, here comes one right now. She struck him with her motor vehicle. She had been under the influence that she left him there. In January, 2022, local woman Karen Reed was implicated

in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer, John O'Keefe. It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel en route to the next location. What happens next depends on who you ask. Was it a crime of passion? If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling. This was clearly an intentional act.

And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia. Or a corrupt police cover-up. If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover-up to prevent one of their own from going down. Everyone had an opinion, and after the 10-week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision. To end in a mistrial,

it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is. Law and Crime presents the most in-depth analysis to date of this sensational case in Karen. You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. So this is around the time when this episode goes from telling the story about like, oh, this chimp and whatever to sort of like being about itself. Because Erica's like, so why do you guys think that Tanya did this documentary with us? It's like, okay, let's talk about your show. Let's talk about your movie instead. So she's like, well, I just think she wants

it. Yeah, because they've now become part of the story, right? They ended up becoming a character when they turned Tanya in and it became about tricking Tanya, you know? So now they're their own victims. Dun, dun, dun. They're their own subjects. Yeah. So she's like, well, I think that Tanya just wanted our story to be heard. And I think, she's like, I think she felt backed up against the wall. And, you know, basically saying that she actually just wanted a chance to explain herself. If she ever want it, like she ever given a chance to explain herself, she's always going to take it. And she actually seemed like she was like a really nice person. I actually really like her and she seems like very sweet. And, you know, I wound up empathizing with her. But then I saw the photos

of the footage of like the cage, the cage that Tonka lived in. And basically, it's like what we all go through, which is like, you know, we kind of like Tanya. She does really care for these animals. She just sort of like misplaced love, but then you see the cage. And you're like, but know, she really sees herself, she thought if she did this documentary, she would show people that she's fighting the man, because like everyone hates PETA. So, she would really get people on her side to fight the man. And then she like kind of goes through all these big grand explanations and then she goes, also, I think that Tanya really likes to talk. And if you give her an opportunity to talk, she's gonna talk.

She's gonna talk. Yeah, she definitely will. So I would be like that if I committed a crime. I'd like, yeah, I did it. Guess why I did it. This motherfucker. Let me tell you what this motherfucker did to deserve it. I never shut up. So, um, now Tonka is arriving at the Save the Chimps sanctuary and, um,

he's arriving, they're going to put him in quarantine and everything. And he's going to be there for 90 days. And then he's going to be integrated onto one of the 12 main islands at the facility. It's like, like a gorgeous, it's gorgeous. We saw a little like a snippet of it a few episodes ago, but now we really get to see it. And I'm like, God, this place looks great. I mean, I don't see any colorful walls. I don't see any iPads. So I don't see any speakers playing in the sun. So yeah, that's true. It's like when people go on like disconnected vacations where they're like, no phones, no TVs, we're just in the woods and

it was amazing for four days. And then I was like, where's my chicken nuggets, bitch? So, I don't know, I guess it depends on what you're used to. Because part of me, when I first saw it, I felt like I felt when I was watching Tiger King, when Carol is talking about what a hero she is, and then you actually go to her facility and you're like, well, they're still in cages, so like, what's the big difference, you know? But then as we get to see more and more of it, I'm like, oh, yeah, this place is great. But you know the guy still wanted his damn Ben & Jerry's, poor Tonk. You know, you can't just cut a person off like that. I know. He probably really was looking for some of his happy meals and everything. So now we go

over to Pam Rosera again, and she's like, oh, chimps are not better off at a sanctuary. My chimps are prima donnas, you know? You got to get rid of a bunch of, hey, Chance, get rid of the, you got to get rid of a bunch of the goat turds. He doesn't like them. Okay. Turn around. Okay. Okay. Chance, just relax. There's no goat turds here. Okay. Stop looking for it. Sit down. Put your feet up. Do a cartwheel, do a flip. Okay, pretend you're with the Nixons. All right, great job. Yeah, he's like trying to clean poop off his feet. He's like, come on, there's not poop on your feet there. What are you talking about? There's no goat turds. Just stop, stop. Oh, look, he found a goat turd. I was like, see, stop bitching at him. He found the goat turds.

Let the man clean the turds off his pedestal or whatever. So she's like, yeah, they're real primitonists. They don't like being, they don't like, uh, mosquitoes. They don't like rain. They like wind. I mean, a little bit of drizzle. They won't go outside. They like the queen of England on a leash. Yeah, precisely. And so we see archival footage of her really at the white house, uh, during the Nixon administration, we see what's her face, Nixon there, the daughter. And then she's like, yeah, you know, chimps that have been in the entertainment industry have been humanized,

which is funny because I think humanization is not the word I would ever put with the entertainment industry. I think most people are dehumanized when they get through the wringer of the entertainment industry. Yeah, I was going to say, I mean most people who have gone through the entertainment industry and are no longer in it seem pretty traumatized to me. I know.

I think... Girl, get you an Instagram. Scroll to some Brittany, some fucking Disney kids, some old Nickelodeon kids. I mean, girl, I don't think that anybody made it out of there. It's not a humanizing industry. It's not. She's like, you know, it's pretty funny. Like, he's real happy coming out of the entertainment industry.

Not really sure why he did that to his eyebrows though. He's just like sharpening on eyebrows. Sorry, that wasn't the nicest joke. But yeah, poor little Chance. She's showing him Wolf of Wall Street and Chance is just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, cause he's seeing himself, it's like, yeah, he recognizes Leo, he recognizes the scene. And he's jumping up and down and doing flips like, yeah, nailed it.

God, back in the day when I was still young to be around Leo. Yeah, like many people in Hollywood, he has aged out. He was like, give me a fresh chance. So he's like, she's like, well, chance likes to come hang out with us in the house, but you can't live with them. You have to build a major facility, you know, like a state pen. I know a lot of people think, oh, they're in a cage, they're in a cage. Well, you know, you ask chance and he'll tell you, he's happy.

He'll tell you, I mean, he can't speak English or any language, but he'll tell you. And I was like, well, at least Pam has some boundaries. I mean, look, I like that Pam is somehow like a voice of reason. It's like, well, you know, problem with Tanya and the problem with Sandy, they live with their chimps. What you got to do is put them in a tiny cell outside the house instead. Yeah, she even likens to the state pen, but she's like, you know, they're animals at the end of the day. But she does kind of still, I think she's just kind of learned how to express it in a less offensive way because when we see him, he still is hanging out in the house. He's sitting

in her lap and all that stuff. He just sleeps in this room. Pete Slauson Yeah, which is, I was like, oddly happy to finally hear someone be like, you can't sleep in the house. Like, there's a line, you know? Pete Slauson And Chance, yeah. And Chance seems to be more, you know, all we see of Tonka is him in a cage. We don't see, you know, and then whenever we see Tanya interacting with chimps, like when she goes to that guy's facility or whatever, we just see her walking through the cages and stuff and they're very afraid to actually get close to the monkeys, you know, they're like, max, like, opening five, locking five doors at a time so they

can move to a different part of the cages and stuff like that. So, I think this lady, it is interesting seeing her view on her, the way that she's living with them because she hangs out with her chimp all the time. Like, he's on like a little leash, but it's not anything that he couldn't handle if he wanted to. And he like sits in her lap still and he's an older chimp. So, yeah. See, Ben, they're not all bad. I could still get one. I do have a feeling like, I feel like Pam Rosair has total control over chimps. Like no, no chimp is going to fuck with Pam Rosair. She has, I don't think any human's going to fuck with Pam Rosair.

She sort of has this look like, you really want to go up against me on Pam Rosair. I know what you mean. Yeah, and you see it in how she, she talks to the chimps and stuff, because the other ones kind of let the, they're like baby the chimps and she's like, stop jumping up and down just cause you see Leo DiCaprio sit out and you acting crazy.

I know. You're hugging me too hard. She's a tough cookie. So now we go back. Dwayne is juggling cause Dwayne's gonna Dwayne. You know, now it's time to go back to that clown life. But he's basically like saying how he feels, he feels bad about what happened with Tanya and everything.

And he's like, you know, Tanya knew we were always filming a documentary, you know? Did she think I was the director? Yes, am I actually just a clown? Perhaps, but she still knew roughly what she was getting into. And you know, I always said, don't say anything. You don't want the whole world to know.

Yeah, and he's like, so we've seen him trying to call her And you know, I always said, don't say anything. You don't want the whole world to know. Yeah. And he's like, so we've seen him trying to call her this whole episode, because finally she figures it out and just like leaves him, like won't answer the phone or something. And so he's going to try again. And she answers, she's like, hang on a second. I'm sorry.

Hey, how are you? How are you? And he's like, you know, I just, uh, I thought I needed to reach into this hat and pull out a bunny. She's like, Oh God, it's the whole fucking bunny trick. All right, Dwayne. All right. You know, I just, uh, I want to call and tell you, uh, sorry. It's just not what I wanted to happen at all. No, I believe that.

Believe it or not, I do believe that. Like, you know, you're the only one out of that whole crow that I thought the world of because you do love animals and I see it. You also seem to really enjoy pulling coins out of people's ears, which I think is cute. I didn't understand the correlation. Now I see you're just a clown,

so everything makes a lot more sense. Yeah, just pulling quarters out of my ear and I was really upset until I wanted to snicker real bad. And I looked in my pocket and I didn't have a quarter. And I thought, Dwayne was here, he would have a quarter. Pull it right by my ear. And I reached behind my ear and there was no quarter. And I thought, might be time to forgive Dwayne.

By the way, Dwayne, have you researched Eric Good, your boss? Because you know, his mom is basically a prostitute, right? His mom is trash. He's the son of a whore, literally the son of a whore. And we see Eric listening to it. She's like, uh, Jesus. His mom is trash. Really? You're coming for my mom? He can't take the law into his own hands. That's only something I'm actually allowed to do. You know, he's fucked up in the head. He has no right to do that.

Okay, I trusted you guys. And you guys named, you guys harmed Tonk. You guys harmed Tonky B. You didn't harm me. Look at this. Okay, you know, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm actually okay with it. It's cool.

All right, let me, look at this picture of Tonky B that say the chimps posted. You didn't look at that. Look at that and things. You B that say the chimps posted. Look at that. Look at them things. You think he looks happy? And she's just showing this picture of Tonk like it's supposed to be miserable. He looks like a chimp. I mean, what do you... He's just like, he's adorable. Like he has a very cute face. I mean, yeah, I mean, if it was a headshot, it wouldn't be like his commercial headshot. It would be like his dramatic one. But I mean, I think he looks like he's not like sobbing. He's not like putting lipstick all over his face. Like I'm losing it, you know, like Wild at Heart style. I mean, he looks handsome. She's like, Oh,

look at this heart attack waiting to happen. Well, so do I want to do this documentary? No, no, no, no. But you know, here's the deal. It has to be like I want to be about what the true story is. So if you can't beat him, you might as well get them a happy meal. You know what I'm saying? I'll do it. I'll sit down.

So then we go to a hotel and we're in the Ozarks. And so here we go and he's walking with Tanya and he's like, wow, you sure ripped it in here. She's like, yeah, yeah, I'm here. I've been here a long time ago. I think I was younger when I came here. He's like, yeah, it even smells like 1960.

She's like, oh yeah, I get that sometimes. So he's basically like, do you blame me for Tonka? No, I mean, if I did, I wouldn't be here. Obviously I get a feel for people. I know people. He goes, okay, well, so in the interest of fairness, I talked to Eric good and I said, would you be willing to come and meet Tonya?

And he said, yes. So would you be willing to meet Eric? And now it's like two hours earlier and Eric arrives. It's like Eric and Tonyanya finally going to meet. Yeah. She's like, yeah, I'll do it. Why not? Is it, does he have ears? Does he have questions for me? Do you think he would like to hold a camera on my face while I swallow oddly and close my eyes? Maybe look around. I'm in.

So he walks in and they meet and he's like, wow, there's like so many things I want to tell you. But one is I can relate to what you're going through. I hope so because I've got a, got a filler appointment around 35 minutes from now. So if you can relate to being in a little bit of a rush, then yeah, you do relate to me. Yeah. He's like, I mean, your wigs are slightly better than mine, but I get what it's like to have animals and if someone wanted to take one of my animals, I get it. But when he started talking about putting Tonka down, she's like, but I never was going to, I never said I was going to put him down. You just took those words that I said

about I'm going to have to put him down and And then you assumed that I was going to put him down, which is crazy because I wasn't going to put him down. I was just saying I was going to put him down because I was going to kill him, but not, you know, like kill him, kill him, just, you know, in this life. So you weren't going to, you weren't contemplating killing Tonka? No, no.

If there was a Jonah sitting in front of me and I said, I'm going to eat that donut. What do you think I'm going to eat that donut? Yeah. You're eating a donut. You're eating a donut. Well, all right. That's a bad example.

I'll eat the donut, but I'm also going to, I'm going to eat, feed it to all the kids. So there's always more to the story. Okay. If you're a camel, you're going to get a donut. If you're a donkey, you're going to get a donut. If you're a capuchin, you're going to get a donut. It's just more to it, you know? No donut left behind. So, Eric's like, so you really weren't going to kill him? He's like, no. And he goes, well, I guess it was smart then to say, I'm going to kill Tonka.

Because then that would make everyone think I don't have Tonka and then I could live happily ever after with Tonka. She's like, um, I'm not really understanding your logic, but here's the thing. If I were a donut, would I be in someone's mouth right now? You're still chewing the donut. Right. All right. Bad example. That's a bad example. You know what? It got to the point where I would have ran to Mexico and would have had coyotes get me across the border with Tonka and me and Tonka would have lived in Mexico the rest of our lives.

I built them a cage there and just get me a little veranda and get me some Mexicans to help me. And there we go. Pretty simple if you think about it. Just smuggle that chimp across one of the most heavily guarded borders in the country and live happily ever after with or without a face potentially. I died.

Yeah, I just run across the border in Mexico because the Mexicans to help me and have a veranda. Duh. Sure. And he's like, okay, so why are you okay with talking to me now? Because I just want toanka to come home. And if this is going to get them to give me Tanka or at least let me come see Tanka, then I'll do it.

Because Tanka, you know, he's a kid. And even though I didn't actually bore him, I mean, occasionally I bored him. Oh, God. I guess I did bore him sometimes, you know. One time he made a smiley face out of his poopo on the window and I started telling a story about Jerry the fucking loser and then he turned the smiley face into a sad face. So I guess, you know, technically I did bore him sometimes. But anyway, the point is he's humanzy. Okay. He's half human, half chimpanzee. He's not

like Jerry who's half human, half big gulp. His preference is the human side, though, I can already tell. So, they leave, and now it's five months later. Five months since Tonka was removed, and Tonya is walking into the basement. She goes, after Tonka left, I haven't been down here. It's like a mausoleum. You know, these are all his blankets, and I wouldn't been down here. It's like a mausoleum. You know, these are all his blankets and I would touch those look There's a there's a big pile of his poop which explains a lot of what's smells in this house I didn't really put two and two together some a little slow on those things

You know, but like look and here's this here's a room, you know You used he had a he actually had free access to any room that was down here. Not just the cage So but like oh, yeah, I had access to the whole house I mean, I don't want people to think Tanka was down here, not replaces Tonka. Oh my God. So then we get this scene where they start playing like, it's a sad song. And it just, she binges. It's just her binging. We see the table is full of donuts and muffins. Everything's really brightly colored. And it's just like, don't cry out loud, just keep it inside. And she's just like slowly eating the donuts, making mouth sounds.

This scene needs to win an Oscar. She's like, how I cope with things is just be ignoring. I don't talk about it. I just don't act like it exists. So basically to compensate for Tonka not being here, I'm trying to keep busy again in the zoo prepped. Cause you just got to keep your time and space filled and your mind occupied.

So she's actually turning her home into a zoo and she has all these, she has all, a whole bunch of animals beyond Tonka. And she's feeding them all donuts. It was like that. The first donuts for her and the rest are like, she's just going around pink donut here, pink donut there. It's not... Pete Slauson And it figures with all of the mental stuff going on here that she would also be a feeder, you know, like keep them relying on you, you know, get them addicted to sugar and get them so fat they can't fucking move, you know?

Pete Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson And so, the feeding the donuts and the binging to sad music, I fucking lost it and I will never recover. I'm gonna get a clip of that and just put it as a video background on my computer and watch it every day. So, we go to Sara Soda and this is back to Pam and this is a sad part because Chance has passed away and she's like, I think my golden years have turned to copper because I lost my child. Chance was jumping around being a chimp and all of a sudden he just killed over.

Now, I suspect that he was electrocuted by his shock collar when he wouldn't stop watching that Leo DiCaprio scene over and over because, you know, Pam, Pam ain't taking shit, but I felt bad because I really liked Chance. He was a sweet guy. I thought that was such a gutting phrase to say my golden years have turned into copper. I was like, that is so deeply profound. Like if anything that Chimp Crazy gave us, to me it was that line.

I was like, wow, that line is going to haunt me, my golden years. Really? I was like, oh my God, the inflation. Thanks Obama. I was like, that is such a haunting thing for this lady. You know, like, you know, cause the thing is you have to imagine

there are probably a lot of seniors who have felt that way. And I was like, wow, like that is, that just like gutted me. I was like, oh, Pam Rosair. So yeah, so Chance died. And so she's having kind of like a memorial in like a local restaurant. And everyone's like hugging Pam, like, sorry, Pam. Now we can come over to your house at least.

And one of her friends is like, oh my God, how old was he? And she goes, I was 15, just a kid. He was just a kid. She goes, oh my God, that's so sad, so how are you? Did you not hear? Did you not hear the goldfish? The fuck is wrong? What the fuck is wrong with people, seriously, when they get like bad news like that? I think we just don't know what to do sometimes with grief. I know I don't. I'll always

say something stupid if something terrible. And you know, just from this podcast, every time something dramatic happens, I say something stupid, you know? But I guess that's how it is. But I was really like, shut the fuck up, get out of the funeral. How do you feel? How are you doing, Pam? So how's it going, Pam? Sorry about your kid. So everything else, huh? What are you watching? We ordered nachos, Pam, do you want in? Pam is gutted because obviously you can tell she feels like she failed the chimp. I think that she takes it very seriously. And also, you know, she basically is like,

I'm at an age where I can't really take on a new baby chimp, but she still has three chimps at home, grown chimps. But I think, um, I, uh, it seems like she came to this crushing realization that that was, that was her last chimp and I felt really bad for her. So then we go to Eric coming to Tonya's house and she calls him and he's like, okay, what's going on? She's like, you gotta realize we've got a broken foot, so anything we have to do, I mean, come on. He's like, okay, okay, I just pulled in. She's like,

all right, son of a whore, I can hear you can hear you, Tonya. Sorry. So he's like, how'd you hurt your foot? She's like, oh, that's another story. Gosh, it is what it is. I wish I could say it was sticking it up. Peewee Herman's tight ass, so tight it broke my toe. It's just so much going on with PETA. Last Monday, there was a ruling that said I had to pay PETA 250 grand. I mean, what am I supposed to do about that? How am I supposed to make 250 grand? I don't even, can't even walk. And then they show her feet as if to insinuate that she's a liar because her flip flops are very glamorous. And I see you, Eric. I see what you're trying to insinuate. But I don't care. I'm still

on Team Tanya for this. So you could still have a hurt foot and be glamorous about it. I got you, girl. You know what, all my money has been dumped into the zoo over here in addition to that. The brokering market, you know, it's pretty low right now. So I can't drive, I can't go pick up animals, I can't do nothing, okay? I'm always just hustling and just trying to,

you know, normally I hustle and, you know, I produce every week, but I can't, I haven't really stagnated, it's just like- You know how hard it is not being able to traffic? I just try to, you know, I'm only a hustle and you know, I produce every week, but I can't, I haven't really stagnated. It's just like- Yeah, how hard it is not being able to traffic. You know how hard it is when you know there's a capuchin somewhere and you can't go pick it up. It's like leaving a kid at carpool.

God, what are these monkeys supposed to make themselves extinct? I mean, come on, give me a little help here, all right? You know, but so we hear like all these voicemails of debt collectors who want their money, but she's got a plan. She's opening up her zoo. So we see like five people come to her zoo and she's like, do I think that as soon as they find out about the zoo, P. Herman and Brittany, Pete will be the doors. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But, you know, once they get a hold of somebody, they don't turn them loose until basically they're killed.

It was classic PETA. How about classic PETA murders? How about PETA. How about people for that amount of people? How about PEDEP? So then we go to her cutting a monkey cake and there's a bunch of customers and stuff at this zoo. A well bunch, I say there's like five. I'm saying I hope this is a huge success.

And I was like, this'll make up for the $200,000 you owe. Jared Slauson Yeah. So, then, Brittany, you know, party in a box, Brittany is over there and she's like, I think Tonya Zoo is all about serving as a marketing tool for exotic animal sale, and I am not having it. Cut to Tonya. Tonya Well, you know, there's always going to be baby monkeys here. This one's not going to be a baby for a long time, but don't worry, there's still going to be other Well, you know, there's always gonna be baby monkeys here This one's not gonna be a baby for a long but don't worry They're still gonna be other ones, you know, and then these babies they have to go somewhere Thank God there are people some people who are good enough to take monkeys. You wouldn't have to know any of those, huh?

She's trying to get people to come back to like multiple visits to Rizu She's like well, you never know what baby you're gonna get to hold this week But this one week gets a monkey another week gets a sloth You never know never know what baby you're gonna get to hold this week. Cause this one week it's a monkey, another week it's a sloth. You never know what kind of baby you're gonna get. So come by every single day, please everyone. I have a lot of bills to pay. So then Jared's like, this isn't about Tanya anymore.

This is about making sure that animals are safe. And then we cut to her property and we see her zoo like signs and it's sunrise beach safari sloth encounters. That's my Tinder. Sloth encounters. Sign up. Have you ever wanted someone who just lies there and moves very, very slowly?

Call me. Petting zoo, pony rides, camels, kangaroos, monkeys. So this place just opened up last August, like a year ago. So now she's sitting there with a tray of her donuts and everything. She's like, well, guess what? I got an email from Jared Goodman, AKA P. B. Ehrman. I write this for the purpose of the potential alternative and resolution. PDA can forego collections if Ms. Haddix would agree to go out of the animal dealing and exhibition businesses. So I can't breed, sell, adopt, trade, and negotiate any kind of animals. Not just exotics. Sorry, Dweeb. That's a bit fucked up.

JAYLEE Yeah, suck my dick, Peewee. Thankfully, I've got some medicine to make me feel better. It's like gigantic plates of donuts. And she's like, you know, the only thing they could get me to stand down, Tonk, that's all they could get me to stand down. Give me back Tonk. If you want me to stop, get me back. Tonk. So then she puts on... So then we see her driving and she starts playing... She starts going through her carplay to find the perfect song to cry to and emote while

she lip syncs badly. And it's my second favorite scene of the year. Loved it. I've already sent it to 30 people. I'm like me right now. Me getting an electric bill. Me getting on the scale. Like, you know, me having to clean up dog poop in 110 degree weather. It's just like her in the car listening to this song. And we hear she's giving kind of a monologue underneath it. And she's like, I love Tonk. He's my whore. He's my life. I'd give up everything. Hey, hey, I asked my son to stand in front of this car.

He should be coming up on the next block and he's gone now. Still no Tonk. Oh, well, we tried. Why doesn't she try to get a job at the sanctuary? That's what I'd like to know. I feel like she should be like- Do you think Brittany and Jared are gonna allow that? And he'd be like, excuse me, you did not pass our requirements. Listen- I'm not a complete psycho kidnapper. Listen, at the end of the day, she loves these chimps

and if like she could be near Tonk and if they say like, this is what you have to do and you can work here and you can be around the chimps, like it seems like it would actually be a great thing to do. Like, why not put that love in something? That's kind of the ultimate conundrum with Tanya, right? Is that there is kind of that opportunity like for plot where she could be like, hey, listen, I've seen the sanctuary and it's actually kind of amazing. You have millions of chimps there, well, not millions,

but 20 chimps, and it would be awesome to come help you. I could help you go get the chimps and then we could bring the chimps. But then there's also the profit angle for her too, that she is actually trafficking these animals still, and she couldn't do that if she's working for PETA, you know what I mean? So, ultimately, it's hard to feel bad for Tanya, you know? Not that that's necessarily an option for her to get a job with PETA, but, you know what I mean? So that's why ultimately it's, it's hard to feel bad for Tanya, you know, not that that's necessarily an option for her to get a job with PETA, but yeah. But the thing is this also is that I think like all her relationship with the chimp is not about how can I give the best life to this chimp?

It's like, how can it's basically like this thing where she's the chimp is like an avatar stand in for some sort of like, like permanent maternal relationships she can have with something that needs her. And so she has morphed it and like, and she's rationalized it as like, she's actually giving the chimp what the chimp truly needs, which is her love. And that these sanctuaries don't really know what a chimp needs because she has to say that because if she really, really considered what the chimp truly needs, she would know that she's not giving it. So that's why she would never really think to like, Hey, why don't I try to actually work in conservation? Because she's not really in it for conservation. She's in it for whatever psychological issues that she has.

Well, yeah, I guess. Yeah, that's true. I just don't think we all need to, yeah, it's like, what are the right reasons? I think ultimately we're all kind of guided by some kind of selfishness. I think I'm just a little easier to please in that I'm like, Tanya, trafficking bad. Monkey's good,

you know? Give it the trafficking, Ton. Come on, you can do it. You can still listen to sad songs and drive around country roads and bad wigs crying. I mean, I do it. Yeah. If you really want to be near this monkey, like, fine. You just said before, if you can't beat him, join him. So join them, go work at the sanctuary. Yeah. Um, but she does it. So she tells a story. She's like, I'm crying out loud. Yeah. If I saw Tonk, I go up to him. I say, Hey Tonk, it's me. I'm behind the couch now. I'm behind the couch on the other side now. Oh, then I'd say, sorry, Tonk, they're out of Hello Kitty toys at the McDonald's. And then I'd say, Tonk, stop masturbating at me. And then I'd say, love you, Tonk. And then she's like,

ah, ah, ah, ah. And just watching, she's so sad of her, driving on the country road in that wig, singing the wrong lyrics to this song. It's a beautiful show. Tonk would say, mom, how come I'm not home? What the hell happened here? So then we see Alan Cumming.

I was like, oh, we're really going back to Alan Cumming again. And he is- Alan Cumming has made a whole meal out of this damn show. I know. So he's driving to the sanctuary and he's like, I'm feeling actually sort of nervous, like there's a little turning in my stomach. So many years of hoping I would get to see him again in a place like this. Ah, well, so, yes, quite a lot. It feels like a culmination of a really

long odyssey. It almost feels like Mer-ther of my concerns. My concerns have been made of that. It's good. Yeah, this whole Alan Cumming thing was a bit of a stretch for me. But they take him out there and he gets there and he just observes from afar because, you know, I guess that's good, right? I guess it's good. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like... It's very accurately. Yeah, to be like, I'm not going to interfere with the chimps. And I think that's probably good. I don't know, I feel like Tonka has always been around so many people that maybe he would like someone to be like, hey Tonk. But anyway, he doesn't, he's respectful and

kind of just sees Tonk. And I'm not sure what we're supposed to think of Tonka because we see him walking around. First of all, the facility does look amazing. I mean, we see him kind of off to himself in his cage, and he comes down and it does look like a prison, you know, but he does come down and climbs down the little ladder and walks around his cage. He walks the yard, basically, from one end to the other, and looks around and he's like, I'm bored. And then he just goes back into his cage. And it's, there's like something depressing about it, but he's also like an older guy. And then we see him hanging out later with the other chimps, and they're walking around freely and we've got a lot of aerial shots and...

It's like very circle of life and it is really beautiful. And I think they really ultimately do do a good thing there, like getting to see it. And it's kind of a PETA commercial at this point, but, um, they do seem to do a really good job, but I, as someone who really loves to eat, my ultimate feeling was like you just stole Happy Meals from this person and you're acting like this is a great ending. So kind of fuck off. You know what I mean? Yeah, I was, um, you know, we saw, we saw, we see some like, oh,

this is what Tonka's life was like now, but I would have liked more of it. I would have liked to really have seen what Tonka's new life was like, but Alan shows up. Oh, like is there bingo? What do they do? Well, does he just walk outside all day and like, it just looks boring. Like I feel like he needs more. Like the man went from playing like angry birds to just walking around with no technology, no happy meals. It's like fat camp, you know?

So Alan is, you know, crying and he's being, I really felt like this was very actorly, like, oh my goodness, I am moved. I'm crying. And he's like, oh, there he is. I recognize him. Look at him. Like, ah, you're looking at a phone pole, Alan. Oh yes. Of course. Like you don't recognize Tonka Alan. I'm sorry. I think it's very noble what you're doing. Very sweet. Fix it and boost. You know, Renee Russo is watching this at home. Be like, oh, what a fucking faker. This guy, I didn't like him in that movie and I don't like him now.

Yeah, he's very much like that. He is Tonka. Like that's a cat. But, you know, fix it and post. I can't. There he is. He's coming down the road now. That's a UPS truck.

Come on, work with me here. I don't have all day. So then, now the screen goes dark and then we hear a doorbell and then Tanya calls Deween. She's like, well, I fucked up. I admit that I did something stupid. He's like, well, I fucked up. I admit that I did something stupid. He's like, well, where are you?

What's going on? You know I'm not the actual director, right? Well, yeah, but like, this is gonna be national headlines, okay, because with my name and on the gym situation, you know it's gonna be big. Come on, I mean, I don't even, you gotta bring a camera crew down here. He's like, I'm not the director.

You know I'm not the director now. It's not a secret anymore. Yeah, well, just bring the camera crew. All right, yeah, I admit it. It's, you know, look, all right. So, you know, I went to see my friend, okay? As a, she has a chimp, okay? And she has an enclosure and she has this adult male,

you know, and I wanted to see him. And he was so sweet through the cage, but as soon as I went in there, man, I didn't even get a chance to sit down. He was mauling me. He was mauling me. It was like Charlie Nash. I mean, I got so scared. I had to get out of there. Unfortunately, he got away with my lipstick and my wig. And she has like a little bandage on her ear, which actually was funny to me because it was definitely kind of like a visual callback to Trump's

Bandage on zero during the convention after the assassination attempt I was like the ear the square thing on the ear is like a thing so she's like, oh, I can't see I don't want to see it. Okay, cuz it really sticks out. It's really really bad. Okay, so he's like Well, you don't want us to see it. She's like no no listen. Everything's fine. It's great. Everything's great I just I you know, I think I startled him. I was like, here's your happy meal. And then, you know, he mauled me. He was so excited to get his toy, you know, who wouldn't be God, but they don't have these things at the freaking PETA camp for the monkeys. And he's like, oh my God. So you got bit really bad. She goes, well, I know my, my, my ear,

obviously. And then we see a chunk of her ear is missing It's not just like a little scratch on her ear It's an actual her ears gone like a half her ear it looks like and she's like, yeah I know my ear and then you know My arm was pulled out of location and then or a socket or whatever and then you know, like I you know a couple like Well, I'll buy it something my legs and then my legs and then my stomach and then my chest and my arms and then my back and my you know, hardly anything like so everything so he got everything and I ended up driving away in my car with my wig on smoking my palm oil so yeah I mean not he didn't get away with much.

I mean if I didn't happen to have a can of of cheese whiz to spring into his eyes I mean, if I didn't happen to have a can of cheese whiz to spring into his eyes, I mean, I don't know if I'd still be standing here. So she is trying to play it down, but at the same time, it's like it's ending with kind of, you don't want to say karma, but you want to say like a lesson, right? Like, okay, the universe really likes this documentary as much as I do and is trying to tie it up by giving you like story. It's like, here, here's the theme to end on. And now Tonya learns her lesson, right? She's like, nah, I'd do it again.

I'd fucking do it again. She's learned nothing. Yeah, she's like, listen, you know, if I would own a chimp or I would own a baboon or I'd own a capuchin, you know, I'd own any kind of primate that I could finish and I'll do that, okay? Yeah, I would. And youoon or I don't know capuchin you know I don't any kind of primate that I could finish I'll do that okay and yeah I would and you know I came up with a new idea there's this like new island here for

sale on this very this very famous island here on the lake and I would even sell the zoo so I could buy the island and I just want to get some chimps or some orangutans or even a gorilla I wanted something as dangerous as possible to go on that island and then I just be there too and we could just be there together I'm like, come on in time time fair peanut butter and they can have their peanut butter Maybe they might maul me who knows but we'd be on an island together. Be nice You know, if they want to do art they could do art if they want to come in the house and eat lunch They could come eat lunch, you know if they want to, you know, I don't know,

take a permit. Son, get in here." He's slumping. He ended up being fine after that car thing. Sit there. Sit there and let me ignore you while I talk about the children that I love in the future. Okay. So she talks about this. And by the way, while she's talking about this, we see, she's talking about her dream, right? And then we see her dreaming. They illustrate this by putting her in a bikini and she's lying on this boat, just like looking up at the sky, it's an aerial shot of her, just going over this dream and just like living kind of in luxury talking about her island. And then we pulled back from her. I mean, there are just so many shots in this that are so, so

good. And then we see a shot of her in her bikini standing on the boat, waving a flag in slow motion that says, don't tread on me. Don't tread on me. I mean, with the bandage on the ear, it is very like recent times coated, you know? Yes. It's just so well done. And then she says, you know, I would do anything for Tonka. I would name it Tonka Safari. And I don't know, I just want to be with chimps. And that's it. End of story. And then it is. Just religious. Just wanna be with chimps. She just wants to be with chimps. So yeah, and then it just says,

there still are no federal laws banning chimpanzee ownership in the United States. Worldwide, the exotic animal black market is pushing wild chimpanzees toward extinction. Yeah, well overall, I think this was fantastic, really well done. I even waded through the entire credits to see if it was like a Marvel movie where something happens at the end. But for sure, like there was going to be something.

Infinity Stone. Yeah. I was like, oh my God, like I wanted to see Tonk like kind of like in the back of her car, like she's driving and then that end of story. and then you just see him pop his little head up like, hee hee hee hee hee hee. That's right, Tonk. That fucking pee wee, never get us. Well, everyone, thank you so much for being here for our chimp crazy coverage.

It was, you know, what a wild and strange documentary. If you have a chimp at your house, don't invite me over. I'm not gonna come over. I like my face and I like my fingers. Or a child. Yeah, actually a child too. I'll stay away from them as well. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We'll come back later this week for some secret lives of mom and wives plus everything else and we'll see y'all at Crappy Hour tonight and every other Monday at 530. Talk to you later. Bye! Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King. Ashley Savoni,

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