Watch What Crappens - #2558 Secret Lives of Mormon Wives S01E02: Bad Vibes
Episode Date: September 16, 2024The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has a new self declared queen, but will she pass the vibrator check? To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our n...ew community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.
Although sometimes we just venture into Hulu because we're here today to talk about the secret lives of Mormon wives.
This is episode two.
We had so much fun with episode one
and we had such a great response from everyone.
And everyone just keeps talking about the show.
Everyone's obsessed.
It's so good that we decided to continue on
and come recap episode two.
I still have not seen beyond episode two.
I'm gonna watch some more very soon
because I can't wait to see what happens with these
ladies.
Anyway, I didn't even introduce I'm so excited.
I didn't even introduce the wonderful and charismatic Ronnie Karam.
Hi Ronnie, how are you?
Oh, hello.
How are you?
I'm good.
Thanks.
And I'm Ben Mandelker.
And yes, we are recapping the show today real quickly.
As long as we're in the spirit of Utah and Mormonism,
Salt Lake City is coming back next week.
We are recapping Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,
of course, next week.
And if you wanna go back and listen to our recaps
of seasons one through four of Salt Lake City,
you can go to our website, watchforcrappens.com.
We have expanded our archives as we continue to build those out.
And so if you go to the back catalog section of the website,
you can listen to our recaps from seasons one through four of Salt Lake City,
also Vanderpump Rules, Potomac, New York.
New York's coming back.
We have all those back seasons of New York, New Jersey.
There are about nine different shows on there at the moment
and we will continue to build them out
and we will tell you when new ones are up there.
So go check that out and have lots of fun
with our back catalogs.
Yes, fun times.
Okay, let's get into the secret lives of Mormon ones.
So this one is episode two.
It's called The Book of Belonging
and it takes place 11 months after Taylor's
arrest. Now this is crazy to do a episode 11 months later. That's nuts. I guess I saw
Joe gun tweeting about it. We love our little Joe gun. He was like, that's nuts. I guess
they couldn't sell the show. And someone said, no, it's because Taylor actually had a bunch
of charges against her. She had like domestic abuse charges and a child abuse charge or something for
almost hitting her kid with a chair or something like that.
So it took a while for them to get back, but they, they just stuck with it.
And we come back and Taylor's a different person now.
She's prego and she's, her personality is different.
Like everything's different.
A lot changed in 11 months for this chick.
Yeah.
She's it's 11 months later, she's driving in for this check. Yeah, she's it's 11 months later.
She's driving in a car and uh, she's saying like,
getting arrested was the worst night of my life.
I ended up being charged with aggravated assault with three years probation.
And it's just been a challenge going from like scandal to relationship to
miscarriage, to arrest, to being pregnant again. And guess what?
Taylor is now the episode she had a
pregnancy scare. This episode. She is actually pregnant.
Actually, no last episode she didn't have pregnancy scare last
time was you did get pregnant. This episode she was pregnant
again.
There's a lot of pregnancy issues with it. They're not like,
I think in my life, a lot of my friends and family are having problems with the getting pregnant.
And here it's like having a problem not getting pregnant like every five minutes.
You know what I mean?
There's a lot of these are a lot of your things happening young lady.
That's a lot of choices young lady.
So we see that she's pregnant and they're like, let's talk about your pregnancy.
Did you and Dakota make a decision?
She goes, well, after I was arrested like Dakota, like we actually like never broke up.
We just like stayed in our relationship because like I just like, I think like, to be honest,
like we wanted to. So that's why we did it. Like if I really had to think about of a reason that I
stayed with Dakota, um, I would say this, I wanted to. So.
Seemed like a real healthy relationship stay in. I I love a
love story that begins with you guys getting into drunken spat
where one of you gets arrested for throwing metal chairs at the
other one and possibly a child like that's just it's just not
great. Love stories just aren't the same anymore.
A good one.
Actually, and it might not have been the smartest decision or
situation. Like, well, I mean, it wasn't,
but it is what it is.
Why do I feel like that's like her the way she explains so many
things in her life? It's like, well, it might not have been
the smartest situation to paint half of my house bright red in
the other house, other half bright purple, but it is what it
is. I was
other half bright purple, but it is what it is. I was, it is what it is. Um, and she does have a point.
It is. So, um,
then we go to Whitney Michaela and Macy and they're having a drink and Whitney's
like, I was so shocked when I found out Taylor is pregnant. Like,
I couldn't like believe that.
And Macy's like, you were shocked. And Macy's like, I wasn't because Macy is, Macy is the one from California, right?
Yeah, she's the one with the tiny little pin pupils because of her color contacts.
Yes.
And when he's like, you weren't surprised.
She's been kind of like, MIA, I feel like she's like, separated herself from all of
us and didn't even go to Hawaii.
I mean, she's not even Mia, She's just MIA. Like I would
totally be okay with her if she was at least Mia, you know,
because like the mama Mia tic tocs really did well. Remember
when we did that number for mama Mia, but like I talked about
how my knees really hurt and cried about it. That was like
such a good tic toc. I got like so many views for that one.
So Michaela is like, I mean, I feel like I would, I would disappear if it were me.
Oh, quiet Michaela.
Anyway, she had like this swinger scandal and then had an affair with her husband and then she had her miscarriage with Dakota.
Continued breaking it on off with Dakota and then she got arrested and now she's pregnant.
Oh my God, guys.
Yeah, that's also why you have a cease and Whitney.
So maybe you should just start writing a thank you letter.
Okay.
And so Macy's like, yeah, it's like when they say guys
like think with their dick, it's like Taylor.
Taylor thinks with her vagina.
And they're like, oh my God.
That was so good.
Oh my God.
I don't think she thinks with anything. Shut up. Michaela Macy already made a
funny joke about it. Don't want up her. She's like lover but
sometimes I'm like sweetheart. Like it's not that hard.
Yeah, so then we now we go Taylor speaking up her mom
Leanne land now has new hair. Leanne has dropped her Abby Lee
Miller look. So now she's, Leanne has gone for a,
oh my God, my fucking daughter look.
And so they are getting into like this SUV.
Did you notice I could not stop staring
at the ceiling in that car?
Did you see it?
It was like crazy dirty.
I've never seen a car ceiling so dirty.
What was happening there?
Did you see that?
I don't know, but I feel like it's probably
a lot of spray
Tanner and Taylor just being grabbing the roof. You know,
people who do that, expressing themselves with spray Tanner
everywhere, probably touching the roof a lot. I don't know. But
her mom has this look on her face where she's like, Oh, she
just got that look like where she's just like kind of squinting
her eyes and shaking her head like, Oh, God, you poor thing.
But you're also a train wreck. But also I made you all gone. Yeah. So she's like, Mom, I want to
invite all of mom talk to come to my baby shower. I think it'll be a fresh start. And then we cut
back and all the other girls like, Oh my God, did you get the baby shower invite? Are you gonna go?
Are you gonna go? Are you gonna go? I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna bring some tea
I'm gonna bring some tea. Yeah
We should go
Go I think I'm gonna go and then we go back to the car and Taylor's like I am so I had one of my last
probation appointments mom like I know I know but like I totally take responsibility because like I did it so
Here I am. Look at me tailoring another probation pickle.
All right honey well what did they say? Did they shame me for raising a monster of a daughter?
No mom. Okay so this is how it works so I went like once a month every month but now it changes
to every six months I go in so like I don't have to go in every month which is like a step you know
like that's good she's like okay yeah but like we shouldn't have to go in every month, which is like a step, you know, like that's good. She's like, OK, yeah, but like we shouldn't have been there in the first place, sweetheart.
I think that's what I was trying to tell you when I was shaming you in the backyard when we started this process.
Yeah. Well, like after the arrest, I was under like so much stress
because I was filmed leaving the jail and then I was immediately on the Internet.
And it was like a blessing in disguise because it helped me like wake up.
I hate being on the internet.
Hold on.
Let me, let me press stop so I can continue on a new one on a new, on a new one.
Okay.
Go.
I really hate being on the internet.
It hurt my feelings.
I feel, I feel, and you're driving.
Okay.
Sorry.
Sorry. Good. But I feel like being filmed at the gel really helped me Hill.
Mm hmm. She's like, Yeah. So Leanne says, I'm not going to go through this again, Taylor.
I can't you've aged me like 10 years. I'm almost the age where people should start having
children in every other state.
I mean, I look like 37 now, thanks to you. So,
so now we go back to T place and Whitney's like, you know,
I have to say everything with Taylor. It's put a very,
I would say negative image on mom talk.
And I think that something needs to change.
We need to get back to what mom talk was before all this happened.
Yeah.
You guys I've been to paradise. But has mom talk ever been to
me? Okay, it needs to be workshopped.
Mom talk great again. So
mom talk Mia, here we go again. Am I right guys? Like Whitney, give it up with me. Okay.
She's like, I just think like it's like, let's we need to like change the culture guys. Okay.
Because and they're like, so where are you saying kick Taylor out of mom talk? And she's like, well, the swinger scandal.
I mean, like, look, we got a lot of eyes, right? We got publicity from it. But like ever since the arrest it's been the complete opposite And I know for a lot of people like brand deals have gone down because now they think they're sluts
I mean, what are we supposed to do now advertise for vibrators? I would never do that
I'm like on a certain moral level that I would never do that. I hate this slutty publicity
I'm sorry Whitney. What is a brand deal? I've never heard of that. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant
right brand deal. I'm so sorry. Oh, okay. I was watching Canadian television and the
accent started slipping into my head. Thanks. I was so confused when you and I got really
scared that mom talk was going to bad direction. When he's like, we need to make sure that
we have a good reputation on social media
because brands aren't going to want to work with us if they're thinking that we're just
going to gel and thrown stools at a wall.
Okay, we need to make sure that just completely get rid of that culture because this is our
livelihood.
It's like, well, Kraft macaroni and cheese was going to advertise with a bunch of dance
and girls, but now we think they might be
throwing stools around. So
yeah, I'm sorry, but there's just not an industry featuring
rubber stools.
What do you want from me? So she's like, guys, right now,
we're holding on like a thread here, which I don't think she
really knows what she's saying. But you know, I applaud the
effort. And Macy's like, Yeah, I feel like it's like Rocky and like, I feel like it's going to take like,
at least one of us to kind of step up to keep the group going.
So I feel like it's almost weird today doing content without Taylor,
but we need a leader and I don't want to say who the leader should be,
but I think her name rhymes with hit me.
Hit me. Are you in?
I love that Macy's just going to like totally put these two against each other.
Macy's here for doing this show. Macy is ready to like rumble with reality shit.
Exactly. Also, because we find out very soon that Macy hates Dakota. So they are going through this very trying time of making content without Taylor. Do you think we can do it? Should we do a prayer? Should we do a prayer for our content without Taylor? Okay. So Taylor's like, and we go back to Taylor in her dirty roofed car and she's like, I'm
just it's overwhelming.
I feel like right now I just have like a lot on my plate and like, you know, Dakota's talking
about marriage.
Mom, what are you doing?
Mom, why are you banging your head against that window?
Mom, mom, mom, why are you trying to throw yourself out of this car while it's moving?
Mom, I'm trying to talk to you about this.
It's like Dakota's talking about marriage, but like, I'm not like
fully in, you know, I'm like six months pregnant. I'm just not
ready to commit. You know what I mean? I'm just like so scared to
get hurt, I guess. Yeah.
Which is why I decided to have a baby with this man. I'm just
like, I've done everything to like push him and I think it's more of like a test like
Are you gonna stay here with me through like thick and thin, you know?
Moms like don't use a baby as a test. She's just like my I've messed up. I give up I messed up in life
so then
She tells us that she's doing like six to eight weeks
and she doesn't know if she'll forgive herself.
And then she starts crying.
And this is the weirdest thing, because we usually
don't see this on reality TV.
It takes years.
And I mentioned it a little bit at the end of each recap.
But the thing that really stood out to me this episode was it
usually takes five years to see this on a show.
But we're seeing it already in the second episode.
You see someone like Taylor, who was just,
she seems like she was 20 years younger last week.
And now this week, she's actually thinking.
I've never seen, we haven't seen her think through anything.
And now she's actually like, well, I went to therapy
and I learned that like,
maybe I'm just terrified of being abandoned.
And so I make decisions to make people abandon me
to see if they're really trustworthy.
I was like, well, what the fuck are you growing for?
You can't just start growing.
This is reality television.
What are we gonna end this in a week?
No, rewind, okay?
You need to stay completely stupid and immature.
You can't grow up.
**Jay I don't know how to handle it and that much hurt that I had at one time and the whole social media thing was watching and I don't know what to do. And you were also doing a lot of dancing.
That really could just mess with your brain at a certain point.
You know what, honey? It's really hard when you're going through all this trauma and you're having
to express it through doing the monkey on the internet. It's not the monkey. That's what we called it back on my day. Okay. Listen,
there could be like new names for things, but dance moves stay the same. Okay.
Honey, you can only do the Roger rap. It's so many times before you have a psychotic
break. We understand.
And so she's like, yeah, after the arrest, like I lost a lot of friends. I miss having the close friendships.
So I just want to like start over
beginning with my baby shower.
Then she's just crying and Leanne's just looking
at her daughter and like, oh God,
what fucking mess am I going to have to clean up next?
And she's like, I'm just going to like put some lip gloss
on and act like I didn't have a meltdown in the car.
It's just so hard to decide you're starting over while you're like literally carrying
30 pounds of consequences.
I mean, listen, let me just sip on my straw here. I'm going to just take a big old sip
because that was true.
That's a lot. So then we go to the credits and we're at Macy's house.
The girls are there.
It's Macy, Latham, Mikaela, Jen, Whitney, Demi, Sarah, Melissa, Demi, Demi, Gemma, Ayla,
Ayla, Fela, Deila, Kayla, Stephanie, Prala, Kayla, Prala, Banana, Ayla, where's your sister
Prala?
She's at church.
Where else would she be?
She's like so true to her name.
I'm fucking praying I can't.
And they're making a video.
Literally the video is, let's all make a prayer that we become the biggest star in the world
has ever known.
So you're literally praying to Jesus, who is the biggest star in the world to make you
the biggest star.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You don't do that. You're like, Hey, I'd like to pray to the ghost of Pavarotti. Please make me the best
opera singer in the world. He'd be like, I'm screwing you. By the way, I just want to say before
we go too far away from it, the opening credits, I love the opening credits on this show. And it's
really continuing the great tradition of Salt Lake City
opening theme songs because I love the theme song for RHOSLC and this one it's just you know the way
they just really work in that um that Trixie Monocle Tabernacle Choir Monoclechle Choir is
is just so great to see it and on two shows. Wonderful. So- CB How does the thing for this go? You know what? I have it.
I-
IAN It starts off with almost like a choir. I don't know
if they're doing like a Mormon, like a classic Mormon prayer or hymn. And then it just sort
of, it sort of sounds like Unholy by Sam Smith, but I don't think it is Unholy, but maybe
it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not. Well, I'm looking for it, but I can't find it. So sorry. Okay. We'll come back to it. Yeah. So Macy tells us, she goes, my biggest thing surviving as a
working mom with young kids is self care and hanging out with my close girlfriends. And we
see them doing more tech talks because Taylor used to be the face of mom talk. And then when it all
blew up, no one really knew what mom talks stood for anymore because it stood for so many things beforehand.
And now what does it stand for?
You know, before it stood for doing wacky dances in a nine by 16 ratio, but now is it
just wacky dances and a nine by 16 ratio?
I mean, it's just so crazy.
Like it used to be like about white girls, like dancing poorly to things.
I mean, I guess we're just going to now we're just going to be white girls dancing poorly to things. You know what I mean? Like, where
are we guys? I feel so lost. I just basically like a five season television show with an
ending that doesn't make sense. I'm just lost guys.
Jen's like, listen, I know you want to make it. I don't know you. I know you don't really
feel like making a TikTok Whitney, but we've got to pay the bills.
So I mean, who else is going to pay the bills?
Am I right?
And Demi is like, Hey guys, let me ask you a question.
Who's currently the breadwinner at home?
And Macy's like, um, all of us.
And when he's like, definitely me.
Hello.
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And so they're like, Oh yeah, we are, we're the social, we're, we're, we're bad bitches.
We're, we're bad ass boss bitches making the money for our means.
So Demi's like, yeah, but like, I feel like,
I feel like we haven't like done a brand deal
in like a long time, you guys.
Like what's the deal with brand deals?
Am I right?
And Macy's like, I had like zero in November
and zero in December, and then I got like three in January.
I wonder if holidays were just slow.
So Macy says, the past year has been a little rough going
for the badass boss bitches, you know,
especially on mom talk after Taylor's arrest,
but we want to keep mom talk going.
And I think it's up to us to keep everything flowing.
I'm like, wow, will you ever keep mom talk going?
How will you ever find the energy to all assemble
in the afternoon and do a dance? I don't know. How will you guys keep mom talk going? How will
you guys keep mom talk flowing? Um, it's like, yeah, well, I have like one brand new glowing.
I still don't know who these people are. So I'm just saying she and Whitney's like, um, yeah,
well, what's the weirdest deal you guys have gotten? And Michaela's like, yeah, me and Jen, we got one.
Like, what was it? It was like a bladder thing.
And Jen goes, yeah, like after giving birth, like your pelvic,
it's just like so weak that you could sneeze and like,
pee yourself out of your pelvic.
Sure, Jen, I'm sure that's why it is.
Jen's been peeing herself for like 10 years, guys. OK, just that's why it is. Jen's been painting herself for like 10 years, guys.
Okay, just let's give it to her. So the Macy's like, Oh, was this for diapers? Yeah, it was
for diapers. And then Whitney and Demi look at each other like, Oh, my god, they got a
diaper deal.
Yeah, we just said yes. But then we're like reading the brief and we're like, oh my God, this is for diapers.
Oh my God.
Jen speaking.
I'm like, are you doing it?
Okay.
And then they look at Whitney and are like, I feel like you probably have had more though.
Sorry, was I taking up your moment here?
I should have realized when you said what's the weirdest brand deal that you had a weird
brand deal to tell us about.
Sorry.
It's like thanks for maybe making me wait 20 minutes and two peas later to get my point
across that I started. So anyway, guys, I generally need your opinion on something.
Okay, I got this offer and like, I'm not gonna lie, like the money is really, really good
guys.
Jen's like, Oh my God, like how much money are we talking?
Am I going to pee myself?
You always you pee yourself, Jen.
That's why you got that stupid brand deal in the first place.
She goes, um, 20 is that Macy's like, wait a minute.
Are you making a 20 with your fingers?
And Michaela goes $200,000. $200 million. $18 trillion.
It's a two and a zero.
20 bazillion trillion gajillions.
20 Rolls Royces.
Oh my God.
Jen just beat herself.
43 puppies.
Okay guys, hold on.
Hold on everyone.
I'm gonna open, okay.
So I'm gonna open up a white box.
Okay, oh my God.
And Macy's like, oh my God, what is it?
What is it Whitney?
Tell us everything.
Oh my God, Whitney is gonna save mom talk with us still.
And first of all, it was $20,
which sounds not exciting at all when she's like,
it was $20,000.
Everyone's like, oh, that's disappointing.
I thought it was gonna be Kajillion bazillion.
It's 20,000.
Thanks for blowing it out of proportions, you losers. So she opens this thing
and she pulls out a little purple sex toy and everyone's
like, What is it? What is that? Is that a carrot?
One day you're doing content without Taylor next day you're
holding up vibrators. What is happening to mom talk?
Oh, so she's like, well, yeah, it's like pleasure toys for days, guys.
What the fuck?
And Demi's like, oh, my God, from spreading the word, the good word,
door to door to spreading the word about vibrators.
You guys got that on tape, right? Were we recording?
So Macy goes, is it like a little microphone? Are you going to sing into that? I can't believe she's touching the devil's toy.
And when he's like, well, you guys want to see, you guys want to see the vibrators?
Like, oh my God, this one has my name on it.
Like, oh my God, Demi, this one's for you, Jen.
This one will be for you once you clean up your pee. So Demi is the one who's like into it and everybody else is like, oh my God, Demi, this one's for you, Jen. This one will be for you once you clean up your pee.
So Demi is the one who's like into it.
And everybody else is like, Oh my God, vibrators.
Michaela is like, Oh my God, the vibrator pro,
it's a finger pro, you put it on your finger.
It's like your finger, but better one.
And then Leila goes, guys,
I need to go upstairs really quick.
JK, JK guys.
Stop Leila. Oh my God. Okay, so what do they have to like,
what do they want you to do? Because it's like a vibrator. And when he goes, okay,
so okay, girls gather around new leader of mom talk talking now. Okay, so literally all I have to
do is hold it, take a picture and like, I just posted on Instagram. That's it. And I have the option to wear my dragon fruit shirt during it. And she's like, yeah, in the Mormon religion, we're like very
conservative. So I'm like super worried about especially my family seeing this stuff and
like being scandalized. Yeah. Also, cause it's kind of hypocritical, no.
Well, so Macy's like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I do it
for 20,000. Like, I think it would have to be at least $30,000
to touch that thing. And Jen's like, I know. I mean, I wouldn't
do it for 20. I do it for 100 maybe. But maybe that's just me
speaking since I'm related to a celebrity. Shut up, Jen's not
your turn yet.
I mean, I have a question about it. Does it like control you?
What do you mean?
Yeah, but like if you put it inside you, you're supposed to like,
let it make all your decisions for you and control you.
I mean, that's what we've learned in our culture.
So.
So Leila's like, I mean, I fuck I do it.
I mean, honestly, I think
Whitney should take the deal for the vibrator.
And then he's like, I honestly don't see anything wrong with promoting a sex toy
unless Angie Harrington had anything to do with it. Suck it, bitch.
And they're like, that's not enough for me. I would never do it. And Demi's like, yeah,
sex has been such a taboo topic, especially within the church for so long. I mean, it's
like if we're trying to break the mold and modernize and get to a place of like normalizing
things, it starts with us being normal about normalizing. Cause like if we're not normal about normalizing, then what's even normal?
Am I right? Come on, girls.
How do we even fight the patriarchy if we won't touch a vibrator? So Whitney is like,
more than making TikToks, I just love this group of women getting together and having
these important conversations about
our pelvic and vibration or things.
So I also feel like this mom talk group, especially being in Utah, is breaking a norm.
We're raising a new generation.
Things are changing.
Dragon fruit is available in supermarkets and I'm loving what's happening.
Things really start changing when I'm paid for it.
Like that's real change.
Thank God for MomTalk.
I'm so grateful for morals to change
once I get a decent paycheck for it.
That's what it's really about guys.
Once people are realizing that there can be vibrators
on MomTalk as well as any other thing
they might be scrolling on on TikTok at the same time, We're just going to move the needle on so many things. So Demi is like, I think a lot of
women because of like shame and like lack of knowledge. I think I like a lot of women don't
even orgasm out of their pelvic and Macy's like, I would die. And then Leila's like,
I've never had an orgasm. I am dead ass never in my life.
And then Demi goes, Leila, Leila.
Leila.
And they're having a vibrator.
And she goes, I'm scared of orgasms.
And then we meet Leila.
She's like, I'm Leila Taylor.
I'm 22.
I got married when I was 19.
Me and my husband were married for three years, but then we
got divorced. So, you know, I've only dated about four people. That's not really a lot of time to
discover yourself. And like, so Layla, have you tried a toy? And she's like, yeah, and anytime
I get close to feeling an orgasm, I get scared. I like stop. So we find out Layla has an interesting story because she actually
is, she's actually black in this group of white women and mostly white women because I think
there's some there are some women who may be Asian but she goes, I went to a very Mormon populated
high school so I'd be like okay what's the one thing that all my friends have in common and
they're all part of the church so you know I got baptized on my own when I was 16 and being
black in the church, I never really taken it personally. But
you definitely do stick out like a sore thumb. And basically,
basically she converted to more than that I've ever really had a
sore thumb because I don't really masturbate.
I got very close to having a sore thumb and then I was like,
stop it though. But I almost cut it off.
My thumb almost killed me.
Okay.
I'm back.
I wish I could get a brand deal for my thumb.
So she's like, yeah, I just feel like I'm missing out guys, you know, it's like, I want
to have an orgasm, but I'm like, what if my pelvic explodes?
And Macy's like, you'll have an orgasm, but I'm like, what if my pelvic explodes? And Macy's like,
you'll have an orgasm. And then guess what? Once you do it one time, you're going to want
to do it all the time.
I'm from California. I know these things like, oh my gosh, she is so cool. She's been out
in the world. So it is like, you'll be like a teenage boy, just like coming inside of
dragon fruits left and right. Am I right? And like, oh my God, Whitney, you're solely
our new leader.
How do you know that teenage boys do that? I don't know. Oh,
got into my husband's web history. What can I tell you?
Like those like, but guys, I feel like I'm finally hitting
puberty. And Demi says, Yeah, no, she's like gonna do it. And
then she's like, literally gonna start levitating guys. And then we hear the church choir, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And then we hear the church choir, ha ha.
And everyone's like, Oh my god,
Jimmy, you're so funny. Michaela, you'd be funny now. Oh, you can't. That's too bad.
And Jen's like, you know what, you need to do it for yourself. You don't even do it for the man
because sex isn't just about the guy. It's just about it's about it's about us pleasing the guy.
You know what I mean? Like the more you enjoy it, the more they enjoy it,
which is why you should enjoy it more
because it's not about making the man want it,
but he can only really want it more if you want it more.
Does that make sense?
We're learning so many things from mom talk.
We have to keep it alive.
And Whitney's like, we know who the real porn star is
for their husband.
And they all look at Demi and oh no they all look at Jim.
Jim. I'm sorry. So Jim's like who you looking at guys? And Macy's like we've seen those noons
and so now we need Jen Affleck. I'm 24 years old. Zach's gonna kill me for this one but Ben Affleck's
second cousin. And I'm definitely the first Jen Affleck. You know, my, my cousin, Jen, the
other Jen former cousin, they're divorced now. I'm just going to say that she's my cousin
still anyway. I'm sure we both would pee in the same way. I wonder if she has a diaper
deal. I'm spiraling. Okay. Anyway, um, her real name is the same as mine, Jennifer Lynn
Afleck. Oh my God. Imagine if we converted JLo to
the church. That would be like, do you think JLo would be part of MomTalk? If I brought
JLo into MomTalk, I would rule this place.
She was like, I'm a content creator and my goal was really just to be able to provide
for my family. Cause I've always been super comfortable with my sexuality, which I think
also has gotten me into trouble. because I'm a conservative Mormon,
but I, and I do follow all those rules. I don't know if,
I'm so confused by religious things when people like, I'm so conservative.
Hand me that vibrator.
Yeah. My, the first rule of Mormonism,
dress like you're in the American doll factory or whatever that place is called
American doll place. So was it
called American girl place? But she's dressed like she's wearing these big puffy shoulders,
a lot of them are big puffy shoulders actually. But like in the interview, she really is dressed
like a doll from 1962. And she's like, I'm very comfortable my sexuality. I'm like a cutting edge new
Mormon. So it's just like if you have a sleep kink, I'm your girl. Yeah. So Demi's like,
I'm not kidding. You've inspired me to like, you know, open my legs for Brett Jan. Yeah,
I've never done anything like that. Like, Oh my god, Demi. And she's like, yeah, I did it.
It was fun. And they're like, you like took a picture.
She's oh, I took so many sex pictures.
You guys do want to see one?
Oh my God, we want to see your sex picture.
And she pulls it out.
She's like in like a five piece sweater outfit.
Oh, my God. That is so sexy.
Oh, my God.
We wore three turtle nights layered in this.
Layla's like, I need to grab that vibrator. This is turning me on. Oh my God, it's too
close. I can't do it anymore. So, um, and then when he goes, here we are, a women, a
group of women in mom talk who can inspire other women to not be ashamed to use a sex
toy. And I think it's like very empowering. I just worry that my family would be a bit shocked
by me advertising something like this.
So what I'm trying to say is I want to empower people,
but I'm still scared to do it because of my mom.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You don't get points for empowerment
when you're just doing it for a paycheck,
you fucking phony.
So then we go to Taylor's house and Taylor's in the kitchen and, uh, Leon,
Leon comes in with her dad, with the dad, Jeremy Taylor's dad.
And he's just like, Oh Jesus Christ,
what's so important you need to talk to us about this time you fucking pregnant
again.
Dad I've been wearing like eight months and he's wearing like a rifle shirt too.
It's like guns all over his shirt.
So Taylor's like, did you not tell him mom? She's well, I did tell him that Dakota was probably going to move in and she goes, yeah,
well not probably like he's moving in like right now to this house.
And the dad's like, really? When don't tread on me. She's like today, dad.
He's like, now what? She goes, yeah. She's like,
I'm just like, it's so excited for this next
step. Because like, we have a child on the way. And I just
feel like I really want to like move forward hill and like work
on a relationship, you know, like I just don't want things to
be stressful, which is why I've totally called my dad over on
camera to surprise him that my boyfriend's moving in who
impregnated me. I take responsibility for it though, my bad.
I know you guys prefer marriage before moving in,
but like that's obviously not how that's gonna go, you know?
And Leanne's like, well, I'm not supportive of this.
Why do you have to rush it?
And she's like, because we're having a baby.
I know, but that doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is I'll raise the baby
Just please don't please don't move in with that doofus. Yeah, and the dad's like, yeah
I don't want to revolve in door of men attached to my daughter and my grandkids. I
Mean look, she's already gonna have the revolve. He's already the father of the kid
Like what are you gonna do not have him there?
I mean, he's the father of the kid the least he can do is take out the trash every once in a while. You
know what I mean? Yeah. And Leanne's basically like, she's saying like, I don't know if he's
100% sober. And like, I don't want you to be like, oh, this isn't going to work out. So I now have a
baby from a second daddy. That's really what she was concerned about. Now, I don't judge. Yes,
I do. I judge all the time. Nevermind. I'm judgy. I'm a judgmental person toxic trait. But as far as
sobriety goes, I mean, I usually feel like that's I feel like
that's other people's responsibility to kind of
determine that for themselves. But I do know how to read eyes.
And this guy's not sober. Sorry, he's not. There's not there's
big old, big old dilated pupils there. And then there's little
tiny pinprick pupils there.
There's a lot going on behind those eyes. Okay. So, yeah.
Taylor starts saying, telling her parents like, you know, you know,
the goal is to get married. It's not like I'm having this kid and being like,
Oh, I don't want to get married ever.
Like you want to give yourself some time before you marry someone for the rest
of your life again. You know, it's like my second marriage. So I'm like scared.
And the dad's like, yeah, but you probably shouldn't have gotten pregnant.
It's like, why are you putting more time into thinking about getting married
versus bringing your life into this world?
Where are your, how is this in reverse?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's, it's kind of all over the place at this and like making a stand at this
point is a little weird for the dad, you know?
And I think Leanne's like, listen, I'm not totally against you, but I
am against babysitting less.
So if this helps with that, I'm all in.
Do whatever you need to do.
So we PSC at pickup truck arriving the driveway, probably knocking over a trash
can and it's Dakota, Dakota arrives and Taylor's like, okay, well I'm going to
go say hi and help them. I'll be right back.
To make us check us to the bomb. And she goes, What he doesn't
have anything? No couches?
Which honestly, I thought the same thing too. Like, oh, he's
just fully leeching off of her. He comes with like three boxes.
He has nothing to his name.
He's a fucking Instagram hookup. He,
a million viewer of million followers and hit on them and hit the lottery.
He's not coming with anything. Why would he bring his own Barca lounger?
He can buy a new one at Ashley with you.
And Taylor's like full on pregnant and she's like grabbing boxes and he's like,
Oh yeah, can you take this one? I'm like, could you give your,
your baby mama a rest? You should be bringing in all those boxes.
Well, and also the parents are like, I'm not helping with that.
I'll just watch my eight month pregnant daughter do it. So then, um,
she's like, Oh, sorry, my parents are here. And I told him, he's like, what?
And she's like, yeah, sorry. I take full responsibility. Yeah. But like,
it's like, Oh, you brought them here. That's our reaction.
And then the dad's like, Oh God, no couches, dirty clothes.
Oh God.
And so Dakota's like, dude, I didn't even know your parents were even going to be here.
And then the mom's watching from the inside and she's like, do they need help?
That's like, I don't know.
Don't care.
It's like, Hey, here's what I got for you to grab on to a couple of bootstraps.
Yes. No, I'm gonna say they're basically like, well, what can you's like, Hey guys, and the dad's like, Okay, so first
up, you knock up my daughter and he goes, Hey, that was an
accident, guys. Right?
Jeremy is like, well, you tripped and fell, which is like,
yeah, don't lose an accident. Yeah, there's reasonable ways to
avoid that accident. So why don't you take them next time?
So Dakota's like, then he goes like this. It was like a sitcom. He literally goes, so moving in.
And the dad's like, Oh, yeah, just found out about that. So is that how you were raised?
You just move in with chicks? And he's like, no, no, no, no.
Here's what happened.
Uh-huh, you just knock up girls.
No, no, no.
See, we just did everything opposite.
Like realistically, we would have liked to do it
the right way, but given our situation,
I wanna also help Taylor.
So I feel like the only way for me to really get a following
on TikTok is to basically move in with her, you know?
Jeremy is just looking at this guy like this, fucking high as a kite, idiot leecher,
knocking at my daughter, this guy's gonna be in our lives the rest of my life. What has happened?
How have I failed as a parent here? Yeah. And Dakota's like, this is honestly everything I
ever wanted in my future, you know?
I just didn't think it was possible for me to have it.
I want a family.
I want all those things.
Oh yeah. Also, I love your daughter, you know, like a lot,
you know, like we align on what we want
on our future together, you know?
We never want to dance without a two,
we never want to dance outside of a two foot radius.
I love your daughter like a lot. Yeah. And Taylor's like, Yeah, we talked about that. Like even just like religion, I guess, like as simple as like, you know, I just wanted
someone in the church to marry again. And he wanted the same and he was like, Oh, oh,
in the church. Oh, and she's like, Yeah, mom. She says, since the rest of my pregnancy,
I feel like I have changed spiritually.
I have really looked at what's important in my priorities.
And I thought what's most important
is to get knocked up by this guy from Instagram
who has crazy eyes.
I love when she goes, mom, you know what?
I just want to go to church with someone when I go to church.
She's like, oh my god, that's so sweet. Yeah. I'm gonna like basically marry someone so I don't have to go to church
alone because that's like that like sucks. Like, who do you talk to? Like if you go to
church alone and you need gum, who do you ask for gum from? It's like, we're gonna get
married. I'm never gonna be without gum again.
And like, you know, it's like you have like usually the same morals and values I feel like and like we do always do we always follow them like no, but we're like pretty aligned
in that way.
I Yeah, this is terrifying.
Here comes one right now. It's just like, it's not gonna go well. And I like Taylor, I actually like her. And I
like that she is going through that moment that you go through like the first few months
of sobriety where she's like, it's just so weird. Like, I'm just so different now. Like
I'm thinking things through, you know, I'm making it through a day without falling over
or throwing up.
It's like, yeah, cause you're sober from the first time.
For like the first, well, presumably,
I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt on that one.
Okay, so then it's getting dark.
So I'm gonna move ahead.
I'm making it dark.
So now we got a cactus and tropicals.
Macy's meeting with Taylor.
Oh my God, Taylor, I'm so glad we're here at Cactus and Tropicals, although I thought
it'd be another tea shop.
No, it's not.
It's for Cactus and Tropicals.
Wow.
That's like so on the nose.
Okay.
Wow.
You're pregnant.
Wow.
This is amazing.
I'm like, wow, I can't believe you have a baby shower coming up.
Yeah, thanks.
I do.
I'm having my baby shower at this venue called the White Shanty, which is what you could
really call so many places in Utah.
Yeah, it's basically like the town that we're going to end up living in because I'm marrying
Dakota.
So it's the Mormon and they pretty much have like every Mormon event you can think of.
So you know, it's just so impressive to be in a place that really relies on sales of
tuna sandwiches.
It's really great.
But like, I just want this baby shower to be perfect.
And I just need my support system back, you know?
So like, I hope all those people I fucked over on MomTalk
come support me, my eighth child.
I just hope that they get to come
to my first ever event at the White Shanty.
So Taylor is like, she was like,
I'm just like nervous about my baby shower,
just to see everyone.
I'm just like scared.
Honestly, there's just like no other way of saying it.
Wait, hold on, let me try something.
Oh, no, see that's not, you can only say it one way.
You can't say it that way.
I'm so glad you called me to be your supportive friend
in this scene.
Okay, I don't blame you for being scared because like when everything came out, I felt so bad
for you because everyone was just shitting on you.
Right.
And I was like, Oh my God, I would hate to be Taylor right now.
Like even if I F'd up like you did, I mean, you really did.
Right.
But everyone's like, Oh my God, I hate that girl.
I hate her.
And I would be like, Oh my God, you guys stop.
I mean, it's so embarrassing.
Like the way they want you dead. It's so funny.
Like that girl was like so ugly on the outside now cause she's so ugly on the
ends and it must be hard to feel like that.
Right?
Like when you walk into a room, everybody hates you.
Cause let me tell you what they really do.
They really do.
It's going to, you're going to be in your own baby shower and you're going to feel
like you need an actual shower.
Cause like literally everybody there is going to be looking at you.
Like you're so dirty.
It's like, Oh my God, you're not making me feel any better. I'm not just like,
No, I'm not. I just I couldn't imagine where your mental health was at. If anything,
it made me want to like, come towards you more like so many men in your life.
So like this girl needs a friend. That's what I think until I go, I'm going to be your friend.
It's the only one you have. So just tell me everything. I'm not going to tell everybody anything. I mean, except it's so funny. You're having your baby
shower at the white shanty because I thought it would be at the white shamy. Um, so the white
slanty, you know, after the scandal, and then obviously the arrest, the moms and mom talk,
all for short, judge me. And like, they don't know the background of the story. So they were
just like, we don't want, we don't want like Taylor. And so Macy's like, they don't know the background of the story. So they were just like, we don't want,
we don't want like Taylor. And so Macy's like, you know, those who love and support you will be there
at your wedding shower, your baby shower, I guess. And I can kind of give you like an idea of like,
who cares? That'll give you an idea of like who cares and who doesn't care. Or it'll also give
you an idea of people who pretend like they care, but actually don't care at all, which is probably
actually most of them really think about that. Like we don't have time for fake friends, even though I think we only
have fake friends. God, what a strange life we live. Yeah, but like I do feel like you've done a
great job of taking responsibility for like, you know, things from the past and like what you've
done, which is like horrible stuff. But like, I do feel like you take all the accountability and you
act like it's all you, but then like Dakota looks like this angel sent from heaven. Like he's
this perfect person when he's not like, I feel like I'm not going to sugar coat it.
Okay. Mostly because sugar is illegal, but also because like I'm really worried. Actually,
it's not illegal. Is it? Is that one of the things? No, I think we're actually sugar coat
this. I would love to sugar coat this right. Yeah, we're like that we have in life
Okay, I'm gonna give you we can then lick it afterwards and get I'm not gonna caffeine code this though
But I will sugarcoat it so
Basically Dakota sucks and I can't even believe you're with him that guy's terrible and she's right
This guy is terrible and I'm glad that Taylor has somebody in her life to tell her even though
She's that girl who's gonna completely ignore everything and do whatever she fucking
wants to, which is why she's in the worst situations at all times.
But it's nice that someone's like, no, this guy's like fucking abusive and awful and a
user.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
I'm not sure I am like totally on board Taylor being my hero in this show, to be honest.
So Macy says, tells us, I don't know if she's my hero in this, in this show, to be honest. So Macy says, tells us,
hero. I think they're setting her up to be, they're saying, Oh no, like, yeah, like, oh no,
she's one thing now she's trying to reform and she's like, she makes terrible decisions.
So Macy's like me and Michaela went to this event and Taylor showed up and then her ex walked in and immediately
Taylor was like stressed and then Dakota was freaking out and he's basically saying like
F you, you're an F-ing slut and Taylor was sitting there like shaking. She may have also
just had a lot of soda, but I think it was fear shaking and she just doesn't deserve
that.
And she's like, yeah, we were at the event and he was texting you. I was looking over
your shoulder and I was like reading your whole conversation and Taylor's like, yeah, we were at the event and he was texting you. I was looking over your shoulder and I was like reading your whole conversation.
And Taylor's like, oh my gosh, that is crazy that you could read it when I was just like
holding it up right above my shoulder to kind of read it out of my peripheral.
And she's like, yeah.
So like I saw what he was saying to you and I could see that you were like shutting down.
You were like so anxious and I was like, what's going on? I mean, I just think he's not treated you the
way that you should be treated.
But I also feel like things have gotten so much better with me and Dakota. I'm sorry.
I feel like things have gotten so much better.
Oh, like what's changed though? Like, is he being less toxic or?
Well, both of us are being less toxic because he's told me that he's only
toxic because I'm so toxic. It's really my fault.
So wait, so is he like being less toxic, like with addiction or just like in the
relationship?
Yeah. So is it his drug addiction or his terrible abusive personality?
Which one is it?
So Macy's like, Taylor definitely hasn't confided in me as much
since she got pregnant.
And like, I don't really hear much about their relationship anymore,
which I knew eventually would happen.
I mean, when you're a boss bitch, you can protect these things.
And that's what he usually that's what usually does happen
in these toxic relationships.
Like two weeks before she told me she was pregnant.
She basically said, like, oh, I want to get out of this relationship. I don't know how to get out. And then like
basically is asking for my help. And then two weeks later, she's telling us she's pregnant.
Oh, which is not great, by the way, this is not a terrible, this is all fucking terrible.
Oh, my God, we've seen this happen a million times before on reality TV in real life. We
know which way this goes. and it's never good.
We've seen it before, but I mean,
it's just different as the years go on
because now I'm like older and I'm just like an auntie now.
And I just feel like, get in the car.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just not like, oh my God, this is like so funny.
It's like this girl's so dumb.
I mean, now I'm like, I want to drive up to her fucking house.
I want to honk the horn.
I'm going to grab her by the arm, shove her in the car and say, you're going to
fucking come to my house until you figure that we're going to figure this out.
You are going to make better decisions.
You were going to listen to me lecture.
I mean, I guess that's kind of kidnapping.
Maybe I haven't grown, but you know what?
I think I just want to put her in a room and force her to watch season one of
the Valley over and over and over again.
So, um, so basically, uh, Macy's like, you know, I always
think about you so negatively, I'd like to add. And that's why I always check in so that way I
can go tell all the other girls all this crazy shit you're up to. It's so hilarious. Anyway,
because I just, I just, I want you to know, you can always like talk to me. I won't listen usually,
but you can talk. So basically she was like, I hate this guy. And Taylor always like talk to me. I won't listen usually, but you can talk.
So basically she's like, I hate this guy. And Taylor's like, I get it. And like, it has been a lot, but like, honestly, there's been so much progress. And she's like, yeah, she's insecure,
because otherwise she wouldn't even act like that. So they shouldn't be together. Period.
So then Taylor's like, well, I mean, what am I supposed to do? Just like raise a baby on my own.
Basically, he's like, um, well, I mean, have you, I'd rather you be happy without this
person and miserable with him just for the baby. Um, I don't like him. Okay. Yeah. Shopper
some cacti.
Okay. Should I, what do you want me to do? Just raise this baby alone when I've got a perfectly good, possibly abusive, possibly still drug addicted user that I from Instagram.
I mean, what am I supposed to do? Like, yes, you're and you're not raising it alone. You're
raising it with the same fucking mother slash nanny who's raised all your other kids. Get
the hell out of that. What are you talking about? I'm making these decisions and then
acting like you're such a victim of your own decisions. Get the fuck out of there. You're just compounding this.
It's hard enough raising your kids with someone like this.
It's going to be really hard divorcing somebody like this. Trust me,
especially since you're the one making the money in this,
get the fuck out of there. Don't make me drive over there.
So now we go to Whitney's mom's house and Whitney is there.
When he is there and her, her sister, her little sister,
Lexi and the mom, they're all in the kitchen. They're all hanging
out. Whitney is talking again about how her family is really
conservative. And you know, she's obviously about to broach
this topic about the vibrator. So they're just talking and
when he's asking Lexi, how her boyfriend is, and what he's
like, Mom, how do you feel that Lexi's boyfriend does not
Mormon and the mom is like, he's a he's a great kid
He's a great kid. I'm just going to wash these spoons very aggressively now cuz I love that. He's not Mormon
I'm very open. I'm on television. Yes America. I'm a very open mother
He's a wonderful kid here on earth and it's a shame. He won't be spending eternity with the rest of us
So, you know what? Let's just enjoy his company while we've got it. Am I right?
Wow, the Sun is really going down early these days. It's like a lot of darkness out there. It seems like a lot of outer darkness that is out there. Okay, what were you saying?
She's like, Mom, why do I feel like if I were to date a non Mormon in high school that you
would not have been so cool with that? And she's like, I would have been fine with it.
You know it. Mom, why are you pounding the chicken like that?
And now you know, I wouldn't have cared.
You know, I wouldn't have cared.
See mom, you're just beating the cutting board now.
Whitney is like, of course it's gonna weigh
into my decision whether or not
I'm gonna promote a vibrator.
And I'm just like trying to figure out this like a gray area
or is this like an absolute? Like do not promote this
So guys I need your point of view. I got a really juicy brand deal. No pun intended for a vibrator
Just to promote it on my social though and
Just to prove just just my social that your entire identity. I know talking about. So she's the mom's like,
um, why would you do that? Mom, you're pounding your own hands now.
No more cutlets left mom. There's nothing left to pound.
So well, number one, the money is really good.
And number two, I feel like I can go about it where it's like empowering moms like, what
about the money from the dragon fruit deal?
What about that money?
What about that money?
What are you going to do without the dragon fruit deal?
You think dragon fruit people want you jerking off with a little fucking vibrator?
And she's like, Mom, don't you think it's empowering? And she's like, no. And she goes, why isn't it empowering?
And then Lexi, the sister goes, do you feel like it matches your platform though? Because like,
you're all like, oh my God, kids, homemaking, vibrator.
making vibrator. When he's like, I mean, yeah, like, let's empower each other.
Mom, why are you trying to pound the frit?
Mom, are you sticking your head in the oven right now?
And the mom's like, I just think like a lot of that is private and it's personal.
Okay.
But also like I need to save women.
But you know what, like I don't want to be
shunned, but like if you need this tool to enjoy intimacy with your partner more, like
there shouldn't be shame around it. Do you feel like there is with the church, like with
sex toys? Do you think the church likes sex toys?
Yes. You know, the liberal chill Mormon religion. They love dild house. Hey guys, after temple today, be
sure to stop at the gift shop and grab yourself a friggin' stick.
Okay. Mom, why are you unfolding and refolding all the kitchen towels right now? I know I
am. I'm fine. I thought you were coming over to talk about having another child, not a
vibrator. I think we don't have to talk about sex at the church. It's good.
You know, I think it's a personal thing between you and your partner. Where is the air fryer?
I need to stick my hand in the air fryer. Well, it's also a masturbation tool. So it's not really
any of your partners, but I mean, not to get too technical, you know what I mean? But also it's
purple, you know, and you don't want your father to have to come. I wouldn't want your father to
have to compete with a purple thing. I mean, when his turns purple, it's actually
time for him to up the blood pressure medication. You know, I'm this is just bringing up a lot
of feelings for me, honey. I can see mom drop the cat, drop the cat.
Honey, it's just, I think that when you're seeking pleasure can just get out of hand.
Oh my god. Oh my god. I was a pun. I didn't even need to do that. Oh my god. But you know, one moment you're masturbating, next thing you're on OnlyFans, next thing your husband's
dialing in and trying to subscribe and you catch him and the looking in the credit card bills
and you have stern talks late at night when the daughters are in bed and you hope nothing's going
to go to shit, but it does go to shit and just try to keep it together. And you think, okay,
just when we got past that rough patch, here comes your daughter with a camera crew into your
kitchen. Oh my God. Am I saying too much out loud?
So Whitney's like, there's a verse I remember the Book of Mormon, where it talks about how sex
was comparable to murder. And so that's what's going in my mind as a young woman. That's why
I'm standing up and I am saving women everywhere for $20,000. It's going to be great. She's like,
I didn't even want to talk about
sex before I got married because mom, you never even taught me about sex before I got
married. I had to figure it out on my own. She's like, Whitney, Whitney, do not discuss
this. She goes, yeah, my wedding night.
How was your how was your how was your heretic boyfriend? Can we talk about him a little
bit?
So like my wedding night should have come from a horror movie. Well, that was nice.
Okay, a comedy, okay?
Because we just never had the conversation.
And this happened in my family.
My mom and dad never told us anything about sex.
I learned it from HBO because there's like cinemax or whatever,
because my friend used to show me dirty videos on there.
There's like a huge mosquito the size of a helicopter in here.
My sister, one day I heard screaming and sobbing from the bathroom.
And I was like, mom, you have to go to the bathroom.
It turns out my sister was having her period and no one
ever told her what that was.
She literally thought she was dying in the bathroom.
She was like,
you just had to ask more questions, Ronnie, because when I was a kid, I remember
seeing commercial for OB and they have these commercial like women sort of prancing around
like OB and I was like, what's that? So I said to my dad, I was like, Dad, what is OB? And my dad
goes, well, then once a month, women bleed out of their vaginas. I was like, oh, and then I went and
I was hanging out with my friend at Kazadi, who is from a Catholic family. And I was in the backseat of the car while his
grandfather was driving us home from school. I said, Hey, by the way, I found out what the OB
commercials are all about. Turns out women bleed from their vaginas once a month. And his grandfather
was like, all right, let's trade the subject. Let's change the subject. Let's ask some questions. What's that?
Oh, yeah, it's my fault. That's totally our faults. So then
anyway, back to this. The mom's just like, honey, where are we
talking about this? And now, look, now that I'm thinking
about it, I'm actually kind of grateful because I can't imagine
having these conversations with my mother. I mean, my mother is like a specific type of person. And I imagine
if I was like, Hey, mom, what if what is sex? She would have been like, it's disgusting. You need
to do it occasionally once in a while just to shut them the fuck up, but I wouldn't suggest it.
So what's better? Like what's better? Maybe ignorance was bliss.
So Whitney is like, I don't know if it was like a Utah thing or not.
But like when I would watch these movies and then be like, hold the banana and put
like a condom on the bananas, I was like, never my school.
So Stephanie, the mom is like, well, I remember your shower that your friends
threw for you, mom, it was a bachelor party.
Yeah, it was it was it was hedonism and it
was sin. So what it was and you know, like you guys had penis cookies. So I was like,
was what's going on? You knew about sex. You had you had it in cookie form.
Look, I just had a baby. I just had Lex, I just had Lexi. She's a toddler. Come be some slack.
Your sexual dysfunctions is your sister's fault. Okay, Lexi, you's a toddler, cut me some slack. Your sexual dysfunction is your sister's fault. Okay,
Lexi, you take this on. You know, after that day when you came home and you told me you were
pregnant, and I just remember thinking that poor thing is literally going to give birth to gluten.
Maybe I should have had the talk with her. I really didn't know that you hadn't had sex with
a cookie until the baby actually came out. So when you're saying I wish I'd had conversations with my mom
about topics such as this, and it's hard because you know, my
mom was raised in the church and her mom didn't talk about it.
And her mom would just take out a rolling pin and beat a dough
on the on the kitchen counter. Oh, I guess that explains a lot
of what my mom's doing right now.
So then we see these cookies with little Hershey's kisses on
top. And they're talking
about like, okay, mom, we never talked about it and all I know is that it's shameful and
horrible and don't ever do this and you're a horrible person.
And she's like, okay, well, if I could go back in time, I would check that off the parenting
list to make sure that I asked if there was anything that you wanted to know that you
didn't know, preferably about algebra.
I'm sorry that I failed you as a mother. I'm sorry that all I tried to do was raise you in the church. That way you could go to heaven someday. But I guess if you want to go to hell,
that's on you. I'm sorry I tried to save you from maternal damnation. Oh, well, my fault, my bad.
So she goes, okay, well, I do love you, mom. And just so you know, the sex is great now.
If you were wondering, and you know what made it better?
Toys.
I was like, oh no.
Mom's like, the mom takes pizza dough
and just smothers her face with it.
Please suffocate me, take me out of this kitchen.
So Whitney is like, I wish my mom had talked to me about it,
but I'm so happy that she's listening now
because sex can be viewed in religion as like disgusting,
like the way Taylor does it. But times are changing.
Like this is a new generation coming in with mom talk. We're
here. We're embracing our sexuality. It's empowering and
it's exciting. And it's fun. I think I'm gonna do it. I'm going
to promote the vibrator. It's like, oh, where's the Chariots of
Fire music playing during this? Seriously?
Where's that lady with a bandana on her ponytail,
like flexing her muscle, like from the 50s? Oh my goodness. I just got a notification.
They've already announced it in September. Time woman of the year, Whitney.
I'm promoting vibrators until I am paid to promote abstinence again.
The cycle ends here.
She goes, the cycle ends here.
I'm going to have this conversation because it needs to be had.
Mom talk is going to break the cycle through a dancer, Christina Aguilera song.
So then we go to a restaurant with Dakota and Taylor. And so he's like, so who's going
to the baby shower? She's like, well, I invited your family, my family. I think all of my
close friends, my mom talked friends. I mean, everyone's going to be there. And he's like,
all the mom talk girls. He goes, yeah, he's like, what about Macy? Didn't you go to a
flower shop with Macy? Tell me about the flower shop.
That's so accusatory. Didn't you go to why don't you tell me about the flower shop? Did you get a cactus or a tropical
because that's what they sell there. And she's like, it was
good. We just like kind of caught up. She asked how we
were doing. Oh, yeah, she's still talking shit like always
because yeah, no, no, she wasn't because that's all she does. She
doesn't like me, which is by the way, this is all classic. We've
saw with jacks you see with all she does. She doesn't like me, which is by the way, this is all classic. We've saw with Jack's
you see with all these. They're like, they don't get us there.
Don't see us. We have to push the haters out. They just want
to destroy us. That's
they don't really like you. You can only trust me. I'm the only
trustworthy one you should ever have in your life. Here we go.
Same old scripts, different fucking man.
And then Taylor does the whole thing of like,
oh no, it's not that she doesn't like you,
it's just that she's the one friend I've opened up to.
So of course she defends me because
I've only told her bad things about you,
so really it's my fault.
But I kind of like that Taylor's so honest about everything.
She's like, of course she hates your guts.
I talk to her about you all the time. What do you think I talked to her about to tell her you're
a fucking asshole? Like, like, what he thinks. So he's like,
no, she's petty. And I'm sorry, like, here's a different there's
a difference because I open up to my friends. And it's not
like, I mean, they're like that with you. And I mean, Taylor,
she doesn't like any picture you post of us like she's so petty.
She won't even like
who does that? I'm sorry, but what husband sits around and counts the likes on exactly you fucking psycho. He probably looks at who liked his stories. So she was because I confide in her. Oh, so she's
the only person who confided. No, I don't know. I don't confide in a lot of people. But I haven't
tried you know, and usually when I try to confide, it's usually in the form of like a dance to Selena Gomez. So like people don't
always pick up on all the nuances, but I'm like scared of friendships right now. Like, just kind
of like I'm scared of marriage and everything. Just like I'm scared to try a California role for
the first time. I just, everything's going on. I'm just like scared. I'm scared of close friends.
Scary. Do I really want to eat such a liberal state?
That actually makes me really creative. I would love a
California role right now. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna
lie. Ha, you look great. By the way, California roll.
So she's like, yeah, I just it's really hard for me to confide
on people when they're not like a phone with the tick tock app
open. You know what I mean? Just like I like to confide on people when they're not like a phone with a tick tock app open. You know what I mean? Just like I'd like
to confide to 50 or 60,000 people on at a time and my
streaming numbers just aren't the same ever since all this
went down. It's really hard.
So I don't want there to be drama. So I'm hoping that mom
talk to give me another shot and we can have a fresh start again
for the fifth time. Yeah.
He's like, fuck all your friends.
This guy's terrible.
So now we go to a store called Purify, which I mean, it's like the whole town is built
around this.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Except for the, why do I, why do I feel like, um, so much of the food these girls make has
is lacking in the thing that this place specializes in salt. So,
I'm gonna disc their food in my mind. So it's one of these salt spas where they go,
I'll tell you what these girls like bland food.
So it's Whitney and Layla, they're walking with their kids is one of these places where they
sit in like a Costco full-home chair in the-
The salt cave.
And we actually saw this on the Real Housewives
of Salt Lake City.
Whoever is hooked up with this place is really hooked up
because they're getting all over TV.
Yeah, and they've, I mean, they also went here on Potomac.
Oh, well, in the Potomac version of it.
It's like a very like suburban, I guess it's like suburban.
They did it on Salt Lake City too, right?
I think they did.
I looked at, I tried to look it up and I couldn't find
it, but I have a, just, I seem to remember them.
I feel like it was like Lisa Whitney, right?
Wasn't the makeup thing.
Oh, Lisa Whitney did, they did go to a thing. They went to like a-
They did?
Yeah. And then they like went swimming. There was like an underground pool that they went
to. They were like a Phantom of the Opera, like underground river.
around pool that they went to. They were like a Phantom of the Opera, like Underground River.
Okay, so they go and the kids are pressing every single button. These kids, they just let the kids go roaming all over the salt spa, pressing every button, changing the thermostat,
or the everything. I was getting anxious watching this scene. Yeah, because it's where you're
supposed to go get good vibes and people take their snotty children to wipe their snot all over the salt and it's gross.
So Layla's like, so, um, hey, what are you wearing to Taylor's baby shower? And when he's like, um,
I don't know if i'm gonna go to that.
I just don't like have that kind of relationship because we've cultivated an online relationship,
but it's not like a real life.
You know what I mean?
Even though the last episode, um, I had a scene where Whitney said, guys from here and
out let's pledge to have our backs forever, have each other's backs forever.
And now she's like, yeah, I don't really know.
I don't know her. So meanwhile, the kids are throwing around
salt all over. So she goes, the whole time I've known her, it's
always been like, give, give, give. And it's like, never been
reciprocated. And she's kind of like, well, then why am I still
giving? Why am I supporting? Why am I still entertaining this
relationship, but there's not even anything there.
And then Layla is kind of paying attention to the kids
but she's not at all.
And they're just like pressing buttons.
We just hear like a beep, beep, beep.
It's like a warning, evacuate, evacuate.
And it's like, I'm sure it's gonna be fun
but like, I don't need fun anymore.
Like, I wanna lead mom talk.
I'm gonna take mom talk back in the direction that it was originally founded on by our forefathers and wagons. And I'm
not supporting this fake friendship that we don't have anymore. Like, have you seen mom talk? I
think that's all fake friendships there. She goes, I just feel like I had to walk around on eggshells,
like every time I'm around her because of this audience that she has on social media. It's just, it's like, I'm so intimidated by it. I'm like, oh my God, like, look what she did
to her best friends. Look how she fucked them over. She didn't even get a vibrator dill out of it.
And then the MomTalks swinger stuff happened and it was immediate crash. Like we were all in this
massive group chat and then people were just fighting and friendships were torn apart because of what Taylor was saying.
It sucks that she even allowed something like that to happen.
Girl, where do you think your dildo, your dildo thing came from?
It's certainly not from your like comma eyebrow entertainment.
You know what I mean?
No one is there like, you know what, I need to go see what that
girl with comma eyebrows is up to.
No, that drama is helping you.
Thank her for your dildo deal.
Well, don't thank you card.
She was thankful for the she was thankful initially, but she's basically like basically
like, okay, you outed us as swingers.
It's been a pain in the ass to deal with.
It's exposed a lot of issues in my relationship.
And then you threw a chair at your fucking dysfunctional boyfriend and
cost us money. So no, I'm not going to go buy you something off of Bed Bath and Beyond
to bring it to the white shanty because you fucked up my life.
Well, she's also fucked up their life in a way where her husband has because their stuff
is all over Reddit ruining their reputation about him cheating on her and doing all that, doing all that.
So it's not like she can get some moral fucking high ground.
I mean, she didn't do it, but her situation did.
How could you?
She is pledged to be honest and move from a space of honesty moving forward
because nothing can get in the way of mom talk now.
Okay.
Out with it.
She gets out with your problems.
So she's like online. It looks like we're the bestest of friends, but we're not
all she cares about herself. And all I, all I feel good about it's vibrators now
TM use wine.
So she goes, I just, I don't trust her. I don't feel safe around her. I don't
want anything to do with her. And I think that's fine. It's like, Oh,
you know, I, it's when you are making those dances, you have to be,
make sure that everyone is, it's, it's gotta be a safe space to,
to make a prayer for being the biggest star on to. Yeah.
And she's like, every time we're together,
she has to create a tick tock and it has to make sure that like she's shown as
the queen bee.
And we're all like these girls who kiss her TikTok and it has to make sure that like she's shown as the queen bee and we're all like these girls
who kiss her ass and lick her pee.
And guess what?
I'm not down with a pee licking facade.
And that's the other thing Whitney is kind of like,
I wanna be the head of mom talk because this bitch,
I don't like the direction she brought it
even though we're not really sure what direction
was going in the first place or where it was going.
It was just girls dancing, sure I know she wants mom talk needs a leader and here's
Whitney now let's go over to the white shanty and see this baby shower so uh Taylor is setting up
she's really nervous she's playing this whole card like, I don't know who's gonna come. I'm so scared.
Do people still like me? Who are my friends? I just want to be supportive. I want to start fresh.
Yeah, I think she, you know, I don't know. I feel I don't know why, but I feel for
feel for more than you. I'm like, poor Taylor. I think everyone does. And I just feel like I see
bullshit. I'm sorry. I mean, I guess I see the bullshit in there, but I,
just the whole thing with this guy is just so bad. I know like,
I felt bad that she's trapped. She has, I feel bad.
Feel bad that she has the insecurities or whatever
psychological damage and trauma in her life that causes her to gravitate towards someone like Dakota
who's gonna treat her like shit and perpetuate whatever cycle,
talk about breaking the cycle and not doing it.
Whatever cycle was started,
probably with her parents, let's be honest,
and now continues on through her.
Well, just the whole year, I mean, she did,
and a lot of it was just her shitty decisions and choices,
but just the year she had, and now she's's like pregnant and so she's got that going on.
And then she sees all these girls kind of doing her thing without her, right?
She started mom talk and these girls are still all doing this kind of thing without her.
And it's like, am I washed up?
Do I have anywhere to go?
What's going to happen to mom?
Do I have any place in mom talk anymore?
And I'm like, Oh my God, Taylor, I get it.
Like where's my place in mom talk anymore. And I'm like, Oh my God, Taylor, I get it. Like where's my place in mom talk.
So the girl pretty much everyone shows up except Whitney and they're all arriving
and you know, Macy's like, despite my issues with Dakota,
I know it's important to be there to show up for Taylor for her boss,
for boss bitch baby shower. She has gone through so much the last year.
I just want to make sure she feels loved and supported and slightly judged.
And all the girls are like, yeah,
I'm just like here to support her journey and mom talk, you know?
And Demi's like, yeah, even if she's taken a step back lately,
which I totally get, I mean,
how are you going to tick tock while you're preg talk? You know what I mean?
But like I support her through all her ups and downs, through all of her ticks and all of her talks. And this is no different. And everyone's like, yeah, we just
want to dance again, guys.
Also, I never want to be the one who doesn't go to the party at the White Shanty because
I don't want to miss out.
So then Dakota comes and someone's like, yeah, Dakota is going to be such a sweet dad, guys.
Look at him.
And basically goes, what did I make a look?
Yeah, he'll be a great dad.
I mean, the baby daddy part is where I think I worry a bit
because his past still bugs me.
And when we were at that event and he was saying, fuck you,
I think he said, you're an effing whore or something like that to her you guys he called her an effing whore.
So then Dakota walks up and she almost she basically nearly like he nearly like interrupts
the talking shit session. And then Jen is like, you guys guys, do you guys know where Whitney is?
And furthermore, do you guys know where my celebrity second cousin is Ben Affleck? I do because he's my celebrity second cousin.
Oh, sorry. Talking about Whitney. Where's Whitney? So I was like, Oh my God, where's
Whitney? Where's Whitney? Is there anyone coming? What about the dragon fruit? Are we not going
to have dragon fruit here? Oh my God. What's a vibrator? And then standing up for things.
Layla's like, guys, I don't want to like be
the one to have to tell you, but like Whitney's not going to come. And I don't want to tell
you any details, but it's because she hates Taylor. And also her child is probably dehydrated
because it wouldn't stop licking the salt wall. Oh my God. I can't believe it. And
Macy's like, I am shocked that Whitney is not coming to the baby shower at the same
time. I know she's not a big fan of Taylor right now, but she does love the white shanties. So it just
doesn't make any sense. It just doesn't surprise me though. Like she should at least send her a
text, send some emojis or something like that. What about like an at on Instagram?
And Leanne's like, what? Whitney is not coming. Hold on a second. And she goes out and she calls
Whitney. She's like, Whitney This is Leanne Tay's mom
How's it going? And she's like, um good
What's up? What's that noise in the background?
Nothing. Yes, there is
Nothing
Well, I just want to know why you're not coming to Taylor's party
I'm a little
I'm a little predisposed. Okay, well, it just feels a little wrong.
And when he goes, um, I think that's more of a conversation between me and Taylor.
It's just like, but I mean, I really thought you were going to come.
I am going to come. Oh my God, tell her to be careful.
They like you're not in this conversation.
Please step away from my phone. I am gonna come. Oh my god, tell her to be careful. Lay like you're not in this conversation.
Please step away from my phone. And that was the end of episode two. So super funny. I love the
constant, you know, hand ringing about the future of mom talk. It's just such an important thing.
It's so important. It's an empire. It stands for so much. Yeah, I can't wait to see what happens. It seems like we're
just barely on the on the the roller coaster has not even
fully begun. It seems like everyone is losing their mind
over the next four episodes. Can't wait to see them. So
thanks everyone for for being here and listening to our
recap.
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