Watch What Crappens - #2563 RHODub S02E15 Part Two: The Last RiRi-union

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

This is part 2On part 2 of the Real Housewives of Dubai reunion, Sara tells us stories of her doomed and totally real romance and Lesa and Ayan face off over the word “brag”. Who hurt each other’s child most by doing nothing children would care about?  To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audio book is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

So now Andy's like, who thinks they're going to have a baby? And Sarah's like, oh, yes, I think so. Definitely Andy, the surrogacy hopefully. Antony's like, no, she's not going to do it. Not going to do it. And Sarah Stambury is like, well, you know, I love my life. I love my life. But I also love Sergio too, and he does carry things in my life.

So I don't really know Andy, but I have heard of things called assistants. So I might look into one of those. I was thinking about ordering some sort of chat GPT baby where we just put it on an iPad and Sergio can cradle it. That'd be good enough. The only thing holding me back is the chat part. Can we get one of those that just doesn't chat? I'm also next here at this time. Do you think there'll be a little bun in someone's oven? Well, someone else's bun in someone else's oven with someone else's husband.

So yeah, someone will be pregnant somewhere in this world, I imagine. Maybe Sarah can be your surrogate. Oh, hell no. Absolutely not. It's like what I told Mackie, you have to be careful with surrogates because sometimes they may just steal your baby. I told Mackie, you were almost stolen from me

and then he couldn't sleep for three more weeks. I love being honest with my son. So now we get to hear the Sarah section, the Sarah segment, which we've all been waiting for. You know, I've just been waiting to hear truth bombs left and right. Let's get to Sarah's completely totally real storyline of her Instagram thirst model marriage.

Going wrong. Andy's like, viewers found it very admirable that after two divorces, you were opening yourself up again. No one found out. Oh yeah, everyone's like, oh my God, Sarah dating a fucking Instagram thirst and bringing him around her son

for knowing him for five minutes, wow, admirable. You know, we should name a bus stop after her, seriously. Why did you feel like you were ready to date? Well, Andy, I just felt like I cannot date until I fix my traumas. And then Akeen came into my life and I was like, oh good, a new trauma for me. And then when I was, and I, since I was deep in healing, his bullshit did not pass with me. I was like, well, then how did you come, except that it was a fake relationship. He was a hot guy

from Instagram that you said, Hey, do you want to be on TV for a storyline? And this is what's happened. So she's like, listen, I think first of all, with Akeem, I really should give him this fountain because he's very thirsty, Andy. OK, everybody laugh. Laugh or you're going to prison. They're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,

laugh, laugh. Quiet, quiet. Yes, he's very thirsty, Andy. So this water is good enough for him. No, I'm kidding everybody. You can stop laughing. I know I already said already laugh, but it's getting awkward now with nobody. Laugh some more. Okay, stop. Okay. Heather to broach on me. Andy, do we have a brick wall we can put behind me so I could do some more bits?

No, he cheated Andy, that's what happened. He cheated on me. And he's like, how'd you find out? I hired a detective. She hired a detective, so. What the fuck is wrong with her? She's got the fucking secret police on everybody she doesn't like, this woman, I'm telling you.

If you're hiring a detective on the guy you're not even exclusive with yet, just don't be, like, just end it. Okay, you're not exclusive exclusive with yet. Just don't be like, just end it. Okay, you're not exclusive. He's in a different country. He's treats you terribly. You know from Instagram, his only redeeming feature is nice eyes and abs.

What are you doing here? Why have you not learned the lessons of these toxic men that have like- And why are you calling fucking people in, why are you calling police? And I mean, I know detectives aren't, well, maybe it's not a police police, some detectives are police,

but why are you calling in like investigators for everybody you don't like? You're weird. If you, if you find yourself like the second time in one year being like, I called the police or a detective about somebody in my life. It's like, I mean, there's something going on there. It might be you.

When his exes reached out and showed me screenshots and everything, it's like when she, I mean, there's something going on there. It might be you. Well, his exes reached out and showed me screenshots and everything. I was like, oh wow, well, how long had you been together? Well, it wasn't like we were together. I just really wanted to call a detective on someone. It was so weird, so weird. And so I was like, but if you weren't together, how did he cheat?

She's like, we were exclusive. So you were together. So you were together. You were together, I can't with her. But, and you guys never really kissed, and Sarah's like, oh no, none of your business girl. Oh, so suddenly now there's like a line with this guy. It's none of your business, but we can sit here and talk about his sex life

for the whole thing. Not that I think his should be, listen, if this is all true, and this guy really was gonna be with her and then he really was cheating, then I feel for Sarah. I just don't believe anything that comes out of Sarah. Nothing that comes out of her mouth sounds real except that she's calling the police on people.

Well, so he was saying, you can't do a podcast with a guy who has shirtless shots on the internet, but he was cheating. Yeah, but cheaters, I think everyone cheats, right? You're a cheater, but doesn't that make you a cheater? You're accusing him of being a cheater, and weren't you sleeping with that married actor from the whatever that you were supposedly his manager

or whatever, you know, the actor from that sex movie, what was it called? 90 Days or something, that's the Sandra Bullock zombie movie, no, that's his 28 days. That was 28 days and 90 days later mixed together. Kate Whatserbund's zombie movie. But anyway 28 days and 90 days later mixed together. That was the Kate, Kate Whatserbund zombie movie. But anyway, I'm talking about the movie that that guy is, that French actors are Italian.

That really sexy guy that you were having an affair with who was married or something. I mean, come on. Listen, he was like, you cannot- Do you like my evidence? Guys, this is why I'm not a lawyer. Yeah. I'm like, I would like to put into evidence

there was someone hot who possibly one time, was he Italian French I don't know. Is he a man? Is he a person? She dated a squirrel at a time. Look it up. Listen He was like you cannot do podcasts with men or squirrels who look good or her shirt And I can't so I cannot go to mixed gym, but he trains women I can't do so many things and he was doing them all and then to link us so insecure So channel says yeah, but when we went to Seychelles, instead of Seychelles, Seychelles,

with you, he kept on calling Sarah. And at one point I just took the phone and I was like, Sarah, that's it. And he was so rude. He was very aggressive. This is the first time, by the way, that I had any indication that this might be a real relationship because there was a story

that happened outside of the show. And he talked to women and the women vouched that he was a story that happened outside of the show and he talked to the women and the women vouched that he was a dick. So I was like, oh wait, maybe this was a real relationship. But even if it is a real relationship, Sarah should be smart enough to know at this point, after two really bad relationships, I want her to just apply some critical thinking before she decides to engage on an international love story with an Instagram thought. And just have a thought that the thought might be thoughtless. Guys, think more about your thoughts.

Okay? Let's put some more thought into our thoughts. And do more alliteration. Thank you, everyone. That was alliteration theater by me. Yeah. So then we get this whole bullshit thing about this boyfriend.

I don't believe any of it. So Andy's like, you know, I watched you with your son. It's so sweet, you know? And I think it's probably a big deal that you let Akine in, right? Do you regret bringing him in so soon with your son? She's like, no, I'm so honest with Maki. I don't hide anything from my son and I regret nothing.

That's how he understands what narcissism is, Andy. You know, now goes, it's beautiful to watch. The way she brings Instagram thoughts into her life, it's beautiful. Really. It's like the fountain in front of the Bellagio. If it was done to a Frank Sinatra song where fountains went off, it would be more beautiful slightly, but only slightly. What's your current dating status, Sarah? She says, I'm single, but my Instagram discovery page has a lot of shirtless men, and so I'm thinking I might choose one of them for next year. Instagram's a big place, Andy.

So the story about your nanny betraying you is absolutely terrifying. Your son must be so upset. Andy, he torques himself to sleep every night. It's so sad. Oh my goodness, Andy. It is insane. For like two months he was so scared

to go to the toilet alone and like he, you know, he trusted, he loved her so much. And finally he started sleeping through the night. So then I just sort of one, one night I just sort of burst into his room with a machete and a hockey mask. I said, I'm going to get you. I'm here to take you. And then I just laughed and laughed and laughed. He still can't go to sleep, but I don't know why, but I love being honest with him. I got a call from his school, Andy. He was so distraught.

He was standing on his desk doing the flossy. The teachers called me and I got so upset with the teachers that I had them arrested. So that's where we stand there. Tony goes, that's Mocky. And then she goes, that's Mocky, Flossy Mocky we call him. All right, we're gonna take a break

because I don't even have the energy to ask Sarah Maybe it's psychologically damaging to share every single detail about this abduction scheme with her son So then Andy starts FaceTiming someone he's like, ha I'm gonna be eating alive my hands train It's basically a blanket on my lap. So if I get cold I can warm myself up. That's what's happened today It's like Anderson Cooper being like, I'm sorry, I'm covering a presidential debate right now. All right, now that we're back, everybody's been wondering what happened

to the most amazing friendship of all time, Chanel and Lisa. Let's get to it. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And then we get a clip of their kind of lukewarm friendship. I don't think this is a friend. I mean, I get that they were close, which is cute and all that, but I don't look at their friendship

as like, wow, this is like a real Bethany and Jill. Yeah. Or like NeNe and Kim. This is not like an iconic friendship. This is always kind of a, eh. Yeah, so they are- You could both do better. You know what I mean? Right.

So we're watching everything and it's culminating with the clip package with the fight at the finale and Brooks leans in and goes, Lisa, I didn't see this. I missed the last episode. She said, oh, this Christ. They send, before they go to the reunion, they send the cast the last four or five episodes and they're like, watch this before the arena and Brooks did not watch it. Sorry, I got wasted last night.

So I feel like she just watches her parts. I was puking all night. So it's like, Sheena, I watch my things. Yeah. So then Brooks, so then Andy's like, wow, I hate to see it, okay, it just seems so unbreakable. Okay, were there any issues prior to Bali that we didn't see?

And Lisa's like, yeah. Listen, I've always loved Ayan, but there were problems. It all started with Rihanna. I know. She goes, oh yes, let's talk about that. So Lisa goes, well, Rihanna was pregnant at the time. And I said to Ayan, like Rihanna follows you. Can you DM her?

I'll send her some maternity wear. And then we see flashback footage of Lisa going, Rihanna's pregnant, you need to tell her that she needs to be in Mino Ro. And Chanel's like, well, I'm gonna be like, hey Rihanna, can you please wear my best friend's clothes because she has the best maternity clothes in the world? And-

Let me tell you something, Lisa. That is using your friend, that's putting her in a situation that she shouldn't be put in. And secondly, Rihanna watches the show if she's a fan of Chanel. She's seen you and she knows that you have a stupid maternity line.

And if she had any interest in your ill-fitting maternity line, we saw the fashion show last year, don't forget, she would have called your ass, okay? Don't make it, you know, ruin her Rihanna connect. Let's be honest, Chanel has like one shot with Rihanna, right? Like, you know, you have one ask. You really can't make any asks of celebrities. That's what I've learned over the years. And like if you're going to make one ask, she's got to save that for herself. In fact,

she already had made the ask for herself. So she can't then piggyback with your maternity wear. And also I hate to break it to you Mina Rowe, but I think that Rihanna has a few fashion connections herself considering that she is a billionaire sitting on top of her entire fashion industry. She can commission some maternity wear. Okay. Like Ronnie said, she can get it if she wants it. Yeah. So, um, it was just awkward because then we have the whole fight of Brooks and Talene. Like you were begging to be on the show.

You were borrowing all my clothes. You were trying to get every connect you could to get on and that's a big deal. But like call Rihanna, no one makes a big deal about that. I'd be like, hell no. I liked Chanel's answer. Cause she was like, okay, look, before we started filming, I said to Riri, okay, we're on text, I said to RiRi, first of all, I said, I can't believe you follow me. Ah, ah. And she said, is that an old man dying

somewhere in your house? So I stopped crying. And then she said, basically, look, I'm starting a makeup line, do you have any advice? And RiRi said, any advice you need, I've got your back. Let me know anything I can do to help. She's like, so I'm not gonna go right anything I can do to help. She's like, so I'm not going to go right after I just asked her a favor to be like,

can you also do Lisa's thing? Like what the hell? Okay. There's only time for one beggar on every get your own underpass. Yeah, no. Yeah. That's that it is wild. And again, like, I think that Rihanna like Rihanna, when she is pregnant, she's not going to be coming out in Lisa Milan's look on the red carpet. Fenty much. This is just, this is honestly just-

I'm embarrassed for Lisa. This is actually a very thirsty moment. I'm embarrassed for Lisa because I feel like Lisa is pretty good on this show. I mean, I disagree with her a lot on the show and I think she's kind of a sourpuss, honestly, but I always kind of respect her and I can always see where she's coming from.

I don't agree with her with the Stambury stuff on all of it, but Stambury has been evil to her. And I do get the whole, like, I have a business and you're coming for my business and saying my business is a rip. Like I get her, I get what she's talking about. Even with the Chanel stuff, I get what she's talking about. Like not having my back and stuff.

A lot of it I understand. She's just going too far. She's losing me in this. The Rihanna thing is a bad one. The last part of this season, and especially this, I'm like, this is just- Well, this also should not have been the first piece of evidence

into where did things go wrong. Like you get- You're mad that she won't share her Rihanna connects with you. That's really gross. That's really bad. But if anyone does know Rihanna, we would love a follow. So she goes, she's like, she knows, like, so you want to tell me you knew from that day

that your friendship with me was over? That was their one, their one. And Lisa's like, I did not say that. I said, that's when things started. And she goes, well, you want to tell me this is why you were acting with the whole time? That was the reason why? All right, all right, all right, Ayan.

Okay, so the second night in Bali, Sambury brought the voice note you previously played for and you said in your confessional that Lisa knew it was gonna come up at dinner. When did you tell her? And she's like, did you know about the voice note? Just look me in the eye. Did you know about it?

And Lisa's like, Ayan, answer the question. And she was like, look at me in the eyeicemail? Just look me in the eye. Did you know about it? And Lisa's like, I don't answer the question. And she was like, look at me in the eye and tell me you never heard about the voicemail. So now it's a fight. Does she, did Lisa know and set Chanel up to look stupid? Because Chanel's saying that she told Lisa before, I've sent this voicemail and it's gonna come up at dinner. And Lisa said, okay.

And then acted like a huge victim when it actually came up at dinner. Right, and she's like saying, I swear to God, I did not know. I swear, and they're like, but production said you did. And she's like, no, I swear to God. And she was, okay, the first time you ever heard the note, it was not at that dinner table, Lisa. Andy, do me a favor, ask production.

And she knew about it. And Lisa's like, Andy, yes, please. I'm not gonna keep shouting over her. I have children, this is hurting my children. So Sarah's like, listen, I told Lisa, you knew about the voice note, why are you doing all of this? And she said, I didn't know. But then I asked the producers

and they all said that you knew. And then I checked with my detective who had actually been trailing Lisa this entire time and he said, yes, there was that conversation. Then I asked Makim about it and he stood on top of the cop car where the maid was in and started doing the splits and twerking down on the top of the siren.

At least like I was shocked. And Tlingit's like, yeah, the producers all said that. And then he's like, yeah, I mean, I hate to pile on here, but the supervisor producer said that, I told you before. And Lisa goes, went right before dinner. And they're like, yes. And she now stands up.

She's like, I said, she goes, no, you won't let me talk. And she's like, you swore to your kids that you swore on your kids you never do. And she goes, no, I didn't. This is what happened. Stop talking over me. Listen, we were walking to the dinner and she was freaking out.

And she said, Stamber is gonna play something. I didn't know it was my voice note. And they're like, oh, please. Yes, you did. Yeah, and Deline's like, but she can. what do you believe? Do you believe that she knew? Uh, it's hard. God, that's hard because Lisa's story, Lisa's clarification, I think she had to know because there are too many people saying too many

producers saying that she knew Lisa's story saying that like, um, uh, something's story saying that like, um, uh, something's going to get played, but, but she didn't know what it was. That sounds like a realistic thing, but then she loses credibility because she should have entered that into evidence way earlier. So it sounds like a hedge. I, so I'm going to say I think that she knew. What about you? Yeah, I totally think that Chanel was like, listen, I made a mistake. I talked to Caroline.

I told her this. I told her about the voice note. It's going to come up at dinner. I don't want you to look stupid and get mad at me. But then it spun out of control because Lisa acted like a victim and said, I can't trust you, Chanel. And then Chanel took that as, and then that turned into, and then that made it a whole different argument and now Lisa's holding on to it. She thought it was just going to be a little drama and be a good scene and then it ended up being friendship ruining and so now she won't let it go. But yeah, I think she's full of shit. All right.

Well, moving on to Stanbury, Jessica from Fledger says, when you called out Sarah for what she said in the voice note, what were you trying to do? Did you not think that Ayan would get caught in the crossfire? And Sam Burrows is like, well, when I was on the boat, I said, when are you going to deal with it? And she said, I'm not. Don't bring it up. And so I wanted her to do it because I wanted Sarah to look stupid.

That's fun. That's fun for someone like me. I don't have studio around, so I have to go to the next best thing. So then she didn't. And that's when I was like, well, I want to poke fun and holes and that stupid relationship over there. Yeah. Cause she's basically, everyone misunderstood what the conversation

was in the first place because Lisa was lying about the conversation. And that's another reason I don't believe Lisa. Cause Lisa was playing the conference. She was only playing part of the conversation to make it sound like Sarah was talking about Brooks when it was very clear as Sarah was talking about Talene. So we already know that Lisa's lying. And so that's how we know that she's a fucking liar. So Caroline's like, well, one lie. So I thought I was getting one against Caroline, but then it turned out not to even be about Caroline. So the lie made me all look, now we all look stupid because of Lisa's lie. I mean, I can't even have fun throwing someone

under the bus. You had me throw someone under the wrong bus. I've killed the wrong person under the wrong bus. It's like shoving Sergio into a closet and finding out you just shoved him into just another room. It's just not as fun. It's like trying to throw Sergio under the bus and finding out you've thrown him into the maternity ward. It's time for a commercial.

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If Paul asked you to do something, it wasn't a request. It was an order. I'm your host, Brandon James Jenkins. Follow Criminal Attorney on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Criminal Attorney early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. So she was like, well, I didn't know she was going to do that. And then he's like, well, why did you send the voice notes? I on in the first place. And he's like, OK, well, so here's the thing.

I heard that Rihanna really loves voice notes. And so I was like, please send this to Rihanna and give her some maternity wear also. To be fair, Andy, the first voice note was, where are you now? Where are you? I was like, we found maternity wear in a hopeless place. So Sarah's like, if you were confused, you could have just called me. And he says like, I was being messy with a friend, Andy.

You were lying and misrepresenting, trying to turn your friend against, to turn your friend loose on the wrong person, on your enemy, is what you were doing. I mean, the whole thing about her not being able to control someone is so evident at this point in the show. Well, everyone, sorry, this is Sarah speaking. So the message was a lot of voice notes

of me backing up Brooks and me being upset with Talene. And then in the end, I told Lisa, I know you said you're not a fan of Brooks, but I'm not a fan of her. Yeah, so basically, meaning to lean. So then basically, she's like, I love to lean now that to me, it's like, honestly, she, Sarah would give me a table at any restaurant I wanted to go to. And so then Chanel's like, Okay, but I am sorry, Lisa, because I played the voice note and I'm sorry, I admit it. And Lisa's like, I'm not innocent either. I was wrong for playing it too. The important thing is that Rihanna's gonna be wearing

my maternity clothes now, right? She knows like, it wasn't right. Nobody should send me a voice note ever, except for Rihanna, of course. And it's like, well, Brooks and Delia on the golf trip, you told Rihanna she acts differently when Lisa isn't around. Yeah, well, she's a different person when she's not there. She's much more likable, way more fun.

She's like the fun part of the vomit, right in the middle, you know, where you're like, ah, that feels good. She, you know, there's still a little Big Mac left in her part of the vomit. You know what I mean? She's like the part of the vomit where you're like, oh no, I'm vomiting, but hey, isn't that cool that I didn't even get to digest that corn yet?

Lisa's the part where it's like the gum from fifth grade finally comes up. You're like, this isn't funny anymore. I'm never drinking again, Andy. Tullian's like, yeah, she walks on eggshells a little bit. Oh yeah, that's also fun when the eggshells come up. No, that's not true. And if I am different when I'm around,

when I'm not around, it's because I'm not there to have her back. Oh, okay. I don't need anyone to have my back. She's, everyone's like, oh my God, Chanel is so free when she's not around. Because I'm not there to have her back. Okay, you make zero sense.

I don't make any sense. Why would she be less free if she had someone at her back? So Stenberg's like, Stenberg says, well, when I watched the show back, I was like, okay, in all those scenes, I feel like she always went, how are you Lisa? How are the children? How are the businesses? But nothing back to how she is except for random questions about Rihanna, which all makes sense now. And then Lisa's like, that's not true. I've always been the number one supporter of her

stapler business. I think it's great she's trying to settle staples in Ulta. And she's like, Lisa, you asked me to tone down myself so you can sit next to Andy Cohen. And she's like, what? I don't compete with my friends. We're a team. Well, you're both sitting next to Andy and Andy's like, ha ha ha. I know it's actually kind of well done. I mean, if that is true, it worked and you both made it.

You're both sitting in those main seats. You know who's not kind of well done. I mean, if that is true, it worked and you both made it. You're both sitting in those main seats. You know who's not sitting next to Andy? That bitch hostess at Hillstone Kirby in Texas. Hopefully she's not sitting anywhere. She doesn't deserve to be seated. Apparently no one can sit next to her because there's no seats available.

So then we go to Andy's like, okay, this is service level BS. I just don't understand what happened at the finale party. And he says like, the word bragging happened Andy. Ayaan said that she had dinner or lunch, whatever, with Caroline and that you felt like I was bragging about my house in Miami. Wait, who said this? Oh yeah. Bragging about my house in Miami, bragging about buying your? Oh yeah, bragging about my house in Miami,

bragging about buying your family's farm, which I never said I was gonna buy. You told me it was for sale, and you felt like I was bragging. And then we see the clip of this, and you were fucking bragging, and so was Stamberry, actually. Well, because she goes like,

well, so we just finished on Miami house, and on to the next, so now it's his turn to get his thing, which he wants to buy a farm in the Cotswold and then he goes, buy my parents' house, please. Yeah, I mean, you're both kind of being braggers, right? Let me send my parents to assisted living. It's the ultimate revenge. It's called old people boarding school.

I've been waiting my entire life for this. Buy my parents' house. The fun isn't really you buying their home. It's me selling them into some sort of a trafficking scheme. Do you understand? Oh, well, you know, Rich, he wants to do his like archery and horse riding. So we'll have all like a full staff. And they're like, Oh, well, my mom's house is too small for that. But whatever. And just we can extend in the cost walls. Okay, so Lisa, this is another section where Lisa's

lying her face off. Because people have been posting all over the internet what it costs to live in the cost walls. No way, no ma'am, I'm so sorry. There's not 100 acres in the cost walls. People get, like the most famous people in the world have like two acres there. And she's like, we need 100 acres, so sorry.

Yes, and then she was posting stuff on Twitter at Caroline, they were, you know, having one of their Twitter fights or whatever. And she's like, oh, plenty of people can afford it. They're like, what are you racist for suggesting I can't afford it? Plenty of people can afford it.

And she started listing stars. And you could see in the search she wrote Costwald. But then you look at the listings and they're in a totally different place. They're in a totally different area that's cheaper that you can't afford. So maybe she's calling it. Maybe she needs to go to the Cost Pluswalds. area that's cheaper that you can't afford. So maybe she's falling into the Cost Plus worlds.

So that's our world. We're like, we're living in the Cost World. Cost World Market, Cost Plus World Market. Reggie and I, we want 100 acres full of esoteric hot sauces and rattan furniture. Girl, I couldn't even do the Cost Plus World Market world. I went there and they wanted $275 for an office chair. I was like, get the fuck out of here, you're Cost Plus.

I haven't been there in so long. There, I just saved you a trip. So like when I called Denver, I said, why do you feel like I'm bragging? And she said, I never said you were bragging and that the only person that had a problem with anybody having anything in this group was your friend. And she's like, I did not say that. What I said was, isn't Sergio the worst? Yeah. And, um, I don't know if I,

I don't know what I believe anymore. I think it's like a typical housewives reunion where at this point I'm just like, Oh my God, I don't know how Andy does this. Cause I'm like, I'm tired. I think it's like very evident to me that like somewhere along the way, either someone misheard or someone doesn't remember that they said something. I think it's a totally benign mistake. And people are being nailed to a cross and people are taking really intense stances. Instead of Caroline saying, well, maybe I said bragging, I don't think I did. If I did, I would take that back. Or instead of Lisa saying, oh, I thought I heard that Chanel said that. Like no one is like willing to accept the fact that they may have imperfect memory or

hearing. Well, I think it's well, first of all, Chanel, of all people has imperfect here. We've seen it on the show and a lot of it is just language barriers and stuff because she speaks 97. I mean, she's so intelligent, but I think a lot of it is language barrier stuff where she hears something wrong or she takes something wrong. But also we've seen that she is trying to play both sides of the fence in a way where she's trying to make Lisa feel better about her hanging out with Stanbury by talking slight shit about Stanbury or at the very least updating Lisa on what's going on.

And I think that's totally normal. I don't think there's really anything wrong with doing that. But then Lisa is taking that and exaggerating it and using it against her to try to break up Stambury and her, but then Stambury doesn't really give a fuck. She's like, do you think I'm talking to any of you people once this is over? I've got about five minutes left on this clock.

Does anybody else want to fight over me? Do you realize I had to sit through an entire season of filming with Caprice? You think I'm not afraid to stop talking to any of you people I've been through worse? I mean, good Lord, I'll do anything for camera time. I've even spent time talking to this woman named Yasmine. Honey that is our daughter. Oh really? She was the chef. The proof is in the pudding and unfortunately I don't eat that anymore. Have her removed, please.

So then Chanel was like, you know, I felt really betrayed I asked every single person and I have messages in the group, guys Taj was being bullied in school and I wanted him to come to the party so we can have fun. I was like that's that was surprising to me only because Taj is like 18 and he's like a model like a successful model working like Burberry like real brands like up Maybe that's why he's being bullied. I mean, we see, we see pictures of him. He's a gorgeous, first of all, and he's got like eyeliner walking down the thing. Maybe people are like, I didn't believe that. Like, honestly,

I thought that beautiful people just don't get bullied like that. Oh no. High school people get bullied. Look at us. We bully people. Not in high school and high school. they don't go up to beautiful people. Well that's true. Like, oh, hey, have fun modeling for Burberry, more like Bur-losery. Ha ha ha. Like, what are the high school bullies,

like what does high school bullying look like when they're bullying a fashion, like a high end fashion model? It's so strange to me. Yeah. So Chanel's like, I feel, so this is interesting. So she wrote into the group text, guys, I want to bring my son, but I want, he's already being bullied. So I want to make sure this isn't embarrassing for him or whatever. And so then Lisa's like, did you call me? And she's like, but I told you, you know,

so you're saying that you don't know that Taja is being bullied. And she goes, why would you need to tell me? We were best friends, we were cool. And Andy's like, did she tell you or did she, like, what's your point? And she's like, she never told me, but it doesn't even matter whether she told me or not,

because we were best friends and this wasn't premeditated. So any suggestion that I knew that he was being bullied, and so I purposely started trouble to bully him more. You know, the point is that you brought the drama in front of her son and we all know that with children, you just don't acknowledge them at all. Listen, you shouldn't embarrass each other in front of your children.

You should embarrass your children in front of each other. That's... What are they there for? I mean, why even have sushi restaurants if you're not going to bring your children there to embarrass them? But this whole, like, you brought drama in front of her son to, like, sorry, then don't bring your son to a finale party of a Real Housewives show. Where the fuck do you think you're going?

And also, guess why you're a model? Because you're on a Real Housewives show and you get publicity, so get the fuck over it. There's part of me that makes me wonder if like what Chanel was meant was not that he was getting bullied, but that he is getting a lot of shit for the fact that his mom is like a real housewife or like a reality star. And he's, he's like, he's like, Oh my God, it's so embarrassing mom. And then she's like, Hey, don't like, my son's already embarrassed the situation. Like don't do anything. That's going to be, I mean, then get another job that doesn't work for you.

Yeah. You're, you're a that's gonna. I mean, then get another job. That doesn't work for you. Yeah. You're a real housewife. You need, your son needs to be more like Gia Judais and like be there with, you know, like, you know, putting he's a Vaseline on your ear. Gets you get in a fight. He needs to be like prepping you like they are bitches, ma. You're doing great ma.

He's also 18 and he should do what every other child on Bravo does, which is roll their eyes and slink away and just be mortified for your parents. That's part of a rite of passage. Or do like one of Garcelle's kids did this year and refuses to film. He's just like, yeah, I'm not going to do this anymore. And she's like, and I respect his choice. He's like, oh, he's not filming this current season.

Yeah. He's like, no, he's like, I'm not doing that shit anymore. You're not using me for this shit. And he's not gonna do it. I think Jax. What is Garthel gonna do now? I know, who's she gonna talk to? It's gonna be her and that one goldfish in the kitchen. She's like, can I buy you shoes?

She's gonna be talking to that giant crystal thing by her doorway. Yeah. So Lisa's like, well, my whole in-laws were there. We were both, we both embarrassed ourselves. You are to be responsible for your behavior in front of your child. I would never do that to your children." And he's like, hold on. I wasn't listening to anything he said over the past five minutes. Something about Rihanna. Okay.

Did you know there's a homosexual zero feet away from it? It's me. It is me. Sorry. I was on my burner phone. You both express separately to me that you miss the other person, that you love the other person's family, and it's a friendship worth saving, yada, yada, yada. Will you guys please make up? Cause this could be the end of the line. So Lisa's like, what happened during the year so petty? We can get past that, but what I couldn't get past

is you saying you wish me dead in my body in a casket. I have children. Oh, shut up. What the fuck are you talking about? Shut up. Oh my God. Even if this was said that you really think that she means she wants you to be dead in a casket

and all of your children to be dead too. Get the fuck over yourself. Like I could never be friends with somebody like that. If I'm not allowed to like say over dramatic things when I'm mad, why are we even friends? And he's like, well, where'd she say that? At least he goes, you said it to Brooks. I'm not allowed to like say over dramatic things when I'm mad. Why are we even friends? And he's like, well, where'd you say that? And Lisa goes, you said it to Brooks.

And everyone's like, oh, God, you listened to Brooks. Of course it's Brooks. And Brooks is just sitting there with this huge shit eating grin on her face. Listen, listen, listen, listen. I didn't believe it as well because no one believes Brooks. Look, she's a drunk liar. But like, that's there. I don't know. Did I say it? Did I not say it?

I don't even know who I am anymore. All roads lead to Brooks. I wouldn't be surprised if Brooks had her hand up the ass of the hostess at Hillstone and Kirby. Put your hand up her heart next time. Thank you, thank you, Sarah. Okay, so Lisa's like, well, I didn't believe it either because of the source, no offense,

but she says, I'll call her on speakerphone and she calls you on speakerphone and she says to you. And Sarah goes, Brooks, that's not nice. You can't spy on people like that. And my undercover operator who's sitting behind the couch in case Andy fucks with me, agrees with me. Don't you? It's not nice to, it's not nice to set people up, which is why I only install security cameras

and people are mostly suspicious of. So Lisa's like, she's like, listen. So she calls, she calls her on speakerphone and first she was like, what did I say? And so she said it to her. And you said that you're so mad at her, you want to see her dead. And Brooks is like, yeah, I repeated it back to her.

And she goes, fuck that that bitch I have children you have children Lisa Wow hey Lisa do you have a business too do you have children and a business Lisa crazy I would never say that you know that for a fact I would never ever you guys do what what do you want what do I always say about Lisa that you want her dead that you'd be you'd love to see her in a casket. No, the other thing. And Talene's waving her finger at Brooks going, shame on you, shame, shame on you.

Chanel has nothing but love. She loves your children. I didn't even realize you had children, but apparently you do. I guess that's why you need so many acres in the Cotswolds. And Andy's like, but wait, did you trap Ayaan? Did you trap her? And Chanel's like, it never, did you trap Ayaan? Did you trap her? And so I was like, it never happened.

It never happened. And so now everybody's yelling at everybody and some people are yelling at Brooks for sharing it. Some people are just going crazy. And Lisa, of course, does the thing that the least guilty person does on these. She gets up and she walks away pretending she's crying and saying, I can't, I have children.

I just need a minute. I heard this with my own ears. And she's like, children with ears as well. What a problem. But you did, you did try to trap Byon. You did try to trap her, okay? Like Roth, you tried to trap her. Like Roth with the brownie.

So Brooks is like, listen, if we can talk about trapping, ask Sarah where the maid is. I still wanna know where the maid, I feel like the maid is in a tiny little box somewhere hooked up to it like a saw, like a saw rig. Stan Brodeur is like, listen, Brooks, you can't do that to someone off camera. It has to be recorded so we can all laugh at it. If a Chanel is cut down off of a camera, does she even fall?

You know what I'm saying? But I did put her on speaker because you saw what everyone did at first before I did that. Everyone was like, oh no, I wasn't telling the truth. Oh, she was like, Andy, I swear to God, when we were fighting with Lisa, I have never said anything negative. I've never been mean to Lisa.

All I always say is I miss her, I miss her family. I love her family, but I never said that. Yeah, and I mean, I don't care if she said it. Because listen, if somebody makes me mad, if you're like, oh, so and so said something about you, I'd be like, well, good, I hope they die in a fire. And if they ever confronted me, I'd just be like, oh, I didn't mean it literally.

If you had died in a fire, I would have been like, oh my God, I'm psychic, but I don't know. So I don't like you right now. But Lisa's like, she's like, no, I heard it with my own ears. I heard her say this with my own ears. The children are traumatized and my business will never be the same as the first woman with a business and a child, Andy.

All right, hold on. My reservation for Donna Angie is coming up, so let's just like wrap this up. OK, do you believe that she actually feels that way, given that she keeps saying that she misses you and she misses your family And she's got so many more goats to give you that she really is upset about this So many goats to give is there really a part of you that thinks that she just said it was just furious in that moment And she's like well, I would like to believe that that's the reason she said it honestly I was just hoping with all my being because I genuinely miss her and her connection to Rihanna and that she would actually say that,

like that she was just mad like, I'm sorry, like, I don't know. I don't know if I could forgive this opportunity miss to ever be followed by Rihanna because now it's never gonna happen. So Annie is like, we're gonna have to put a pin in that. And they're like, well, this sucks that we didn't resolve it. And Chanel's like, I loved you. I cared about you. I love you. Oh, oh, oh.

And vice versa. Vice versa. So then they decide, Annie's like, we have to make up, it's the end. So they're like, okay, maybe we can have coffee one day. Okay, maybe we can make up. We can leave the door open. Okay, the door's open. I'll leave the door open. Okay, the door is open.

I'll leave the door open as well. And they're gonna go to therapy. And so it's like, okay, all right, well, thank you two for getting the two doors that are open. That's great. I will take that as a little bit of optimism for a friendship that's worth saving, according to some people.

So in keeping with the tradition, you have all wrapped a few gifts for each other and I'm like, this is the segment where they're going to give each other gifts. And I was like, was this supposed to be a segment that was like nice and it was going to mend things? Cause it definitely was not that. This was like, they're like, okay, we don't know if you guys are coming back. So we're going to give you guys the biggest prop humor segment we've ever done. This shows desperate for ratings. Let's bring on some props. We don't know if you guys are coming back, so we're gonna give you guys the biggest prop humor segment we've ever done.

This show's desperate for ratings. Let's bring on some props. So they have to give each other gifts. So Brooks gets one for Ayaan, and she gives her a big bedazzled tumbler, which Chanel falls for a little bit. But then she was like, well, I gave you a bling back

because you need to quench your thirst wherever you are. And I was like, oh my God. After all that, she was just calling her, I gave you one bling that because you need to quit your thirst wherever you are. And I was like, oh, my God. After all that, she was just calling her thirsty. That's a good one. That is a good one. She knows. I was like, well, thank you. I love it. Very, very me. OK, so my gift is for Lisa. Growing up in a village, I used to walk so many kilometers to go to school to get the water. But once I got this gift, it always made me feel good. And the gift is water.

And she pulls out a gallon of water. And Lisa's like, okay, it's water. She's like, oh wow, you did the same thing as each other, huh, womp, womp. Sarah's like, I would like to point out that I was the thirsty innovator because I made the joke about the fountain. And Akeen, because he's thirsty, he should drink the fountain.

Do you see what I'm saying? This fountain is full of water and sake and thirsty. Well, I have to add it to Lisa, cause that was the first time I got a genuine laugh from her in this whole reunion. But I was like, that's true and funny. I gotta hand it to Chanel because at least she spent all of $2 on her gift as opposed to everyone else.

So Sarah gives to lean some underwear gummies because you know, maybe if you see your vagina again, you can eat these ha ha ha ha. And he's like, perfect, perfect. It's more than he got to eat a hillstone of Kirby. So to lean gives Caroline Brooks a gift and she goes, you have to read the card first because the card is important. And Brooks sees what's in the gift and she's like, oh, hell no, I'm not even gonna read it. Like I'm not gonna give this any thought. I'm not gonna give this any screen time.

Fine, I'll do the bit. So guess what? This is, remember you said that like you wouldn't wear my clothing, but it's actually your clothing. And look, here's the before and after on foam core. Is everyone following the joke? Okay, here's what happened.

She said she wouldn't wear my clothing, but here it's actually my clothing. So it's her, I'm giving it back so she can she wouldn't wear my clothing, but here it is actually my clothing. So it's her, I'm giving it back so she can keep it in her wardrobe because it shows that it was actually my clothing in the first place. Are you following this, Andy? Yeah, she's like, you wanted proof

that it happened at least one time? Well, here it is. Here's a green dress and here it is. You wearing the green dress. We see a picture. And she's like, that doesn't prove anything. She's like, but it does. Oh yeah, how many more do you have? And she's like, you said one and I's like, that doesn't prove anything. She's like, but it's, oh yeah, how many more do you have?

And she's like, you said one and I brought one and that's all you get. Okay. So those are items of hers that you were in season one. Okay. Great. Okay. Karen Stanbury, do you have anything that's worthwhile here? And she's like, yes, I got everybody one. There's shirts that say who's your sugar daddy. And this is the gift I was meant to give and it's for Sarah. So. It's a ventriloquist.

She's like, oh my God, thank you. Now this is how you put a hand on a heart. Ventriloquist is like, oh, oh. Scariest looking dummy. It is. So then, let's see, Lisa gets a gift for a Stanbury, and she's like, you're obsessed with me, so I decided to make you the president of my fan club.

Here's your ID. She gives her a pink idea with her face right after the face left. That's the ID. I thought this was pretty funny. And Stanbury was cracking up, and Andy's like, wow, she takes it in good humor. And she's like, it's pretty funny, Andy.

It really is, it really is. These are like the gifts at the red wedding. R-E-A-D, give it, ha ha ha. So Sarah, could you bring us some words of hope? She's like, you know what I really believe is empathy and hearts and spirits and souls coming together in hearts and spirits. And when souls really come together, Andy, I believe that sleeves are good if you like

them. But if you don't, your spirit has empathy and soul. Do you follow? The point is this. As I'm here in New York, it's important that someone tell Mackie that I may never come back to him. I may die out here and be killed. I hope it doesn't traumatize him one last time. So he's like, wow, I guess Brooks's private jet's ready to take off and spend another season in Dubai. I'm a dad. And it kind of, they don't even have like a toes. They don't bring out a ceremonial order or anything.

He's like, and it's done, I'm out of here, goodbye. Goodbye everyone. And that was the end of that. That was the end of that. It was a very funny season. Congrats to Dubai on a good rebound season. Hopefully you come back. Hopefully people watch this and reruns.

Hopefully Tjallin gets her table at Hillstone, and we'll be back later this week with some Salt Lake City coverage in Orange County, so listen up for that, and also a really funny dwell hello. Bye everyone! Besos! Weapons would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Schiboni, she don't take no bologna. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles. Jamie, she has no less namey. Hava Nagila Weber.

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