Watch What Crappens - #2569 Crappy Hour 9/23/24: MomTok Thriving, Vanderpump Rules Spinoff, Jen's Afflecktations

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

This week in @BravoTV news, Jax Taylor gets booed while Brit shows off her new body, Alexis Bellino cries victim of editing, PumpRules might have a spinoff in the works, and we're checking out some Secret Lives of Mormon Wives goss. Join us live every other Monday on YouTube and for free on Patreon at 530 PST to join in! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch What Crappens Crappy Live! I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi Ben! Hi Ronnie, how are you? I'm good honey, welcome to your show, welcome to your home. Welcome to your home on the internet. Thank you so much. I need the honey. Welcome to your show. Welcome to your home. Welcome to your home on the internet. Thank you so much. I need the Crapits community now more than ever. I am happy to come back to the people and I need you all to lift my spirits tonight because my sweet sweet car Padma well, the good people at the car dealership where I got her servicing they lost the

key Padma is stranded and I'm losing my mind. Have you ever had a mechanic lose the key to your car? Um, I have not feel like I should be able to trust people. It's like dropping off your baby. Actually, I shouldn't put it that way because it sounds amazing putting it that way. Well, they lost the key. They lost the key and they're like, well, can we give you a ride home and you can pick up your spare key and come back? I was like, no, I've gotta do shit at 530.

I can't believe it, I'm so annoyed. If you've ever taken an Uber to Glendale, California people, to take an unnecessary trip to Glendale, that's hard, that's hard on the soul. So anyway, I'm so annoyed. It's hard, it's hard and there's traffic and then now you have to have somebody take you back over there all to get a stupid key. And are they even going to find it? Like, where is the key? Maybe someone else took it home.

I don't know if they're going to find the key, but you know what? Keys to cars these days are so expensive. That key costs $1,000 and you better be sure that they're going to pay for it. You know, this is what I get because my service plans out of Ford dealership instead of acute dealership for America. Yeah. Well, guess what? The Ford of Glendale really fuck things up. But you know what? Well, you know what?

I wish you got it at the Ford here in Texas, because you know what? Ford is the best in Texas. It's actually really fun taking your car to a Ford dealership for servicing because every car that's in the queue there is like an Amazon truck or like an ambulance. Like Ford makes a lot of just like, you know, trucks for trucks for Americans who are working.

And then Mike slides in there because it doesn't make sense why I have a Ford service plan, but I just do. So this is my life right now. So I'm just saying I'm really frustrated and really annoyed that I wasted 90 minutes of my life Ubering over to Crandale for no reason and back. So I'm just happy to throw myself into some Bravo gossip and move on with my life. Well, let's do it because there are way, way more lost things on Bravo than your keys. They're people. They're people. I know things get,

things wind up in way worse shape than that key. I'll tell you that much on Bravo. Now there has been so much tiny news, so many little news stories. This has been a week of not much. Yeah. Yeah. It's like not much, like tiny news, micro news stories. Now I save links as the week goes on.

I read them usually on Reddit. Thanks Reddit, proper Real Housewives. Also Real Housewives discussion over on Reddit. You might notice all your links here. It's because I steal them. Okay. I'm like a key worker with one of Ben's belongings. So I, I steal them.

Uh, but I also saved them up throughout the week and this week I was looking over my links and I don't know if we did this one already, we might have, cause it was familiar, but I can't remember. Yeah. Well, we're going to do it again. So did we talk about Vanderpump rules getting a spin off? We did right? The old like we did. Okay, well, supposedly they're doing the regular Vanderpump rules. They're gonna keep that coming back because everybody has to

see Ocean and what's his name? What are their kids names? Spray. Ocean Spray and So So. All the kids. Ocean Spray and Sammy Sosa. All the kids growing up mediocrly in the valley. We have to see how that works. So we're gonna still get that show. But then they're supposedly doing a new Vanderpump Rules as well in Sir.

And guess what? I went to the Sir Instagram just to see what life is like over there. Because you know, if you're going to do a show on Sir, you're gonna have to have a cast you can carry it. I don't know, you know, it's it's hard to tell just from pictures. We've seen a lot of them for years. Here's what I'll tell you that restaurant needs a remodel. It needs some cleaning. It needs a paint job. You guys it is chipped. You can see in all the Instagram photos, I was like wiping my glasses to see if there was fog on my glass. It's dirty. It is dirty. Clean your restaurant before you sign on more shows. Yeah, I mean, that's a note that WW that, that sir needed probably in its first six months of operating, to be honest. I mean, you know, turn on some lights, sweep some things, etc. Yeah, that, you know, fix, turn on some lights, sweep some things, et cetera. Yeah. The, you know, the, the, the restaurant is trying to look as old as its menu and that's never a good thing

because that menu was already like stuck in the eighties. So it's time to like get us a fresh, a fresh coat of paint on those walls, change up the light bulbs in your Phillips hues, maybe rethink the purple. Maybe it's time to go into a red or a fuchsia moment. I'm not sure, but it's time to spruce up. If the cameras are coming back in,

it's time for a new look. Guys, it's time to make an effort. OK, do something, do something over there. So yeah, I'm taking a look at their Instagram. I'm not really sure if I trust any of these people, but you know what, I don't really trust, I didn't trust any of the cast of Vanderpump Rules. And I don't think you watch that show

to really trust the people, you know? But their Instagram address is SirRules. Their first post is a pin post, and it's just a closeup of a wall. And then Guillermo comes from behind the corner in his sir hat. You know what? That doesn't make me hungry. Just doesn't. First of all, all I see is your wood wall that's old and needs some painting, even though it's chipped and old on purpose. You know, it's like Ken. It's like the Ken of walls, if you will.

But you need to change it. Then there's another shirtless Rico Suave guy. And his caption is keep calm and carry on. Which? Shirtless Rico Suave guy, wait a second. I am going right there right now. He looks like a young Ricky Martin. Okay, well. Very young. Sir rules.

He has a very bony chest. Which, hey, I'm not shaming you. I'm just saying I could play that thing. Wait, we're looking at the- I could wash my clothes on it. I'm just saying I could play that thing. We were looking at the clothes on it. Are we looking at we wish which rules picture sir rules, but which one is this the first one? The video is the black and white.

Oh that guy I'm leaning on the door. See his shirts unbuttoned and he does have a he has just his chest is a does sort of resemble like the back of an alien and alien. I'm not going to lie. And it looks like he's holding an Emmy, but it's just like an air vent or something behind him. I was like, this is the closest you're gonna get person from Sir. He's just leaning his he's he's like, I'm going to put my elbow very close to the surf fridge hoping that elbows of the past that have touched it like of Sheena's

and Stassi's and Tom and Tom's will then like fuse DNA with mine and I will become a star in turn. Yeah, and there are a lot of black and white pictures of like, you know, younger, hotter people in the alley, in the smoker's alley with upturned chairs. And I think it's like, is her shirt, is it, are the boobies clear now, sir?

Have they just gone to the point where they're just like your boobies are we're not even going to cover you in a napkin anymore you're just going out there there's a really funny image there's like so in the second photo um there's a guy who's sitting on a chair with an enormous right hand by the way wow that's a big that's a big hand is that That's a big hand. Is that, that's that hand. That's true. That hand is like this. Look at my hand.

That's the size of a foot. Look at my hand. I'm a huge handed person. So I see that hand and I'm like, oh my God, do you want to shake hands? I just hope that they're on the show just so we can shake hands one day. I could say, look, I'm someone else with gigantic hands.

So he's sitting there and it looks like there is someone passed out on his shoulder sagging over onto him, but it turns out that's just more of his hair. And then like, right, doesn't it look like it's just someone who's like leaning into shoulder like this, but if you realize that it's like, oh, that's just more of his hair. And that's another one of his giant hands. Well, the girl leaning on him also has very long hair. And let me tell you what I don't want

from either one of you. Hair, the food there sucks enough without both of you with whisping your hair all over everything. I taste your hair from here, okay? And right across the street from that restaurant, as you know, is the Forever Chaz Dean billboard that's always there.

I guess Chaz owns that billboard on Santa Monica Boulevard. And it's always Chaz's hair product always killing people. You know, I went, so I went to the pink concert a week ago, which was amazing pink. Like everyone should see pink in concert. She's so great. She truly does fly through the air. It's insane. All the things that are happening, but she talks to the audience and she talks

the audience a lot. And there was Chaz Dean in the front row talking to pink and he was on the jumbotron and everything. And I was like, of course Chaz Dean is here. I'm surprised he hasn't erected a billboard on the stage. He's a, he is Bravo relevant in that he is frequently on Jeff Lewis shows. Um, yeah, this, uh, it's funny cause all these pictures in the gallery, they're trying to make sir look like this cool hipster black and white kind of place, but it just makes the place look like a dump. It looks like it was closed down for nuclear spill. Yeah. Uh, people in chat are saying that I'm orange today. It's so beautiful right now. You're just like this goal. You're just like this beautiful orange,

purple, like the colors are so vibrant and lovely. I wanna say also- They're eating the cats. They're eating the cats. They're eating the dogs. By the way, to Therese, whose comment I've highlighted here, she says the spin-off is gonna be called

Vanderpump Freak Off, which- Too soon, guys. Too soon. Too soon. So yeah, the Puff Daddy stuff. Yeah. called Vanderpump freak off, which too soon guys. So yeah, the puffed up stuff. Yeah. Not puff daddy. Do we call it P. Did he? Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean puff daddy.

P. Did he comes a lot of trouble, freak offs, sexual trafficking, sex trafficking, all sorts of shit going on with that guy. He finally got caught. He's going to jail. And you know, there are Bravo people kind of caught in the crossfire like Heather. Hello, holler. He did he puffed at his Yeah. And everyone, you know, people have been passing around the clips of Heather, you know, loving the puff daddy. What do you think? Do you think Heather was up for a freak off girl? I just can't imagine. Oh, there's no way. Heather is the queen of the freak out and she would never be able

to deal with all that baby oil. She's like, why do you have so much baby oil down here, mama? Huh? What's going on here, mama? Yeah, I don't think she would not be. Like the inventor of their own shapewear would show up at a freak off. I know I'm a shapewear person. I've always wanted man's spanks and I know I wouldn't be a freak off. I'd be like get your hands a freak off my muffin top. Okay. Yeah, I do not think that Heather was at the freak off. If she is if she was that that's wild, but I do not think that she was there. Yeah, this thing is this is a wild thing. It does make me it does. It does bring up a very important question, which is, can mom talk even survive this?

Not sure it can. Can mom talk survive the freak? I mean, listen, mom talk was doing the soft freak off before did he ever was. So am I losing? I'm bus orange now, right? orange now, right? Because why was orange? So yeah, so speaking of mom talk, you know, we are covering that show, but we are covering it week to week. So we're still behind we haven't watched it all like you guys. So I don't know everything that's happened. We just got to the part where you know, Whitney's even more of an asshole, which I guess every week, Whitney is more of an asshole on that show. But you know, there is some

gossip there. You want to lead us off pan? Yeah, I went I looked up some good old fashion mom talk gossip. First of all, the news is that Secret Lies of Mormon wives has broken all the records for Hulu. It was like they're they're most watched something or another it like it got more ratings or just gotten more readings than the entire last season of the Kardashians, which is not good for Hulu because you know that who paid a lot of money for the Kardashians, which is not good for Hulu. Cause you know that Hulu paid a lot of money for the Kardashians and probably not that much money for mom talk. So that just means that Kardashians,

you guys better start showing up because the writing is on the wall. We have now seen the limit of your abilities and you're getting beaten by like Taylor, Frankie Paul. So, you know, you got to step up your Kardashian desk. No, Chris, do your magic. But either way, really cool. And I think it's really cool

that this show is breaking all these records. Cause to me, I feel like it probably pulls in two very big viewing communities. I feel like it's bringing in Bravo viewers who are already interested in Salt Lake City. And you know, we also tend to be drawn. We're drawn to shows with like female ensembles, but I also feel like it's probably drawing in like TLC viewers who are into like sister wives and things like that. What do you think? Why do you think it's so big?

White girls, basic white girls, upset about things. I mean, that's just the way the world goes. It's what we love. RSV, RSV dancing, dances. It's not even the dancing. I mean, it really gets good. And let me tell you, it is baby Karen tears. And we all know it because that show really got good

when baby Karen Whitney got upset and started crying about shit. That's really when the show got good. It's when she is the aggressor and started crying about shit. That's really when the show got good. It's when she is the aggressor and she comes after people and then when she's called out, she starts crying. She's probably going to call the police on somebody. Thank God.

There's like no minority in the room because the police would already be called. Well, there is. I mean, there actually are. I mean there you have Layla who actually is black and then you also have not an argument with Whitney. Right. exactly. The moment Leila does the moment Leila gets an argument with Whitney, the cops will be called. Don't you worry. And we do have Jen, who is she's from Honduras, I believe. So but like that, but the but the white girls are so white on the show that they seem to sort of take up all the space. And yeah, Whitney will call the cops.

I'm surprised that it wasn't when he, when he probably did call the cops on Taylor in that first episode. I mean, she seemed to really know that whoever called the cops seemed to know a lot of what was going on, right? Like they seemed to know a lot about the arrangement of those two. Yeah. Well, some news that came out this week, I guess news, you call the news, Taylor, Frankie, Paul, Taylor, Frankie, Paul Paul all three of you get down here you bad boy

She was saying that she was approached by Real housewives of Salt Lake City, but it was she was deemed too boring Which I can actually see why because she is really boring I mean for some is just a finger who broke all the records who's completely a complete train wreck She's she really doesn't do much except live her life terribly. I mean, she lives her life really train wrecky kind of a way but she doesn't do that much that's like TV worthy except I guess trigger other people. So I guess.

Yeah, thing. I think that she's probably benefited from being pregnant this season. Again, I'm with you. I've only watched the only I've watched through their, uh, the episode where they went away to like a penthouse and, uh, Oh, you haven't seen the one we're recapping tomorrow or whenever the one, isn't that the one that we are,

isn't that the one we're recapping when they go to the ski trip or whatever? Yeah. Isn't that the one I'm saying I've seen that one. Um, what was I going to say about this? Oh yeah, so Taylor, I think because she's like pregnant, she she just doesn't have it in her to I think she's too tired to be to be a disaster right now. So she just sort of coasting off of like the what did I do to you thing? Right. Yeah. But I feel like they tell her she's like, what did I do to you? And they're like, well, you added, you added the swinging scandal

and almost brought down TikTok. She goes, Oh, what else? I mean, so swinging big deal. What else did I do? That's a pretty big deal. I mean, the lady's accusing you of coming onto her husband and you're like, okay, so I tried to fuck your husband right in front of you. What else?

You have anything else? Okay. You took one of my starbursts. I mean, what, what do you, what do you need? You need her to accuse you of murder? You tried to fuck her husband right in front of her. Isn't that reason enough to be pissed off at you? By the way, um, uh, uh, well, I forgot I was gonna say I had like a big I had a big by the way moment. A big by the way,

something about Mormons and Taylor Frankie Paul or that shipsail it's over. Well, anyway, I do. Oh, yeah, she was saying like, Oh, I wasn't picked because I wasn't interesting enough. I'm like, also, you're probably the 28. Like, I don't think Bravo has ever hired a real housewife who's 28. Have they? Whitney? Yeah, they are housewives who are who are you in 20? How old is Whitney right now?

I don't know. She was like a little baby. I don't know. Maybe it's how she talks. I don't know. Was she never 28? How old is Whitney Rose? 2037. She's awesome. Like something that means she was like 32. Okay, whatever. So I was proven wrong yet again. It's okay. Dom quietly just brought in a little apple with some almond butter on for me as a snack because he knew I didn't have lunch because I was off at Glendale not picking up my car. So isn't that just so cute? A little apple slice.

No fucking dump him. You didn't have lunch. So he brings you a fucking slice of an apple with some almond butter. Get rid of him. Well, I can't have a proper full lunch. I'll drive everyone nuts here. I'm going to mute myself so you don't have to hear me chewing. You really? Like a barnyard animal. OK, let me get your snack in.

Let me activate you. Call the Richards. Don't want you to get grouchy over there. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Cra's time for a crap ens commercial Are you in trouble with the law need a lawyer who fight like hell to keep you out of jail We defend and we fight just like you'd want your own children defended whether you're facing a drug charge Caught up on a murder rap accused of committing war crimes Look no further than Paul Berggrin all the big guys go to Berggrin because he gets everybody off. You name it, Paul can do it.

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it wasn't a request. It was an order. I'm your host, Brandon James Jenkins. Follow Criminal Attorney on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Criminal Attorney early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Okay, so let's see, speaking of Carl Richards, oh, the other SLC thing, Secret Wives, was that Taylor Frankie Paul's boyfriend or whatever and her broke up. And we knew that was gonna be a thing

because she made a TikTok like, I can't even watch a show Because it's just so traumatic, but here's me watching the show to at least see some of our happy moments together That's like really it's so traumatic that you had to put it on the tick tock get the fuck out of here But I guess they broke up his eyes still don't look right and Yeah, I thought they were gonna last forever Weird when you start fucking controlling fans from Instagram that it doesn't work out. It's strange. I also read something that there was a, it's funny the amount of articles that have actually come out about this show because everyone's trying to find something and they're actually,

there's actually not enough news about them to sustain the voracious appetite for articles. There was some article, I didn't even bother putting the link up because I was like, this is a non story. And yet here I am about to talk about it. But apparently there was like, apparently mom talk is bigger than what we see. Like there's some girl named Miranda. It was like a big part of mom talk. She has like 1.4 million followers. And Miranda was like, you know what they called me. And then like a lot of different producers were calling me and then they all were like asking different things for me. And I decided to be best for me to like not being part of it. I was like, no, you just were not interesting enough. Miranda, don't act like you didn't want to be.

Well, I don't know. Cause to them, this is small potatoes being on a TV show. It's like Hulu who watches that? You know, I've got, I put on a, you know, I put on a video that's 10 seconds of me doing an elbow dance while my baby's about to die of pneumonia in the hospital. I get 19 million views. Why the fuck would I want to come on your pitiful little 1 million view show? You know? I know.

Yeah, exactly. They're like, oh, from the network that brought us Only Murders in the Building starring that girl who I liked when I was like 12 and those two guys have mixed in before my life. Excuse you, excuse. I'm saying that's what they would say. I'm saying that's what they would say. Do not talk like that about my little Selena Gomez. She is traumatized by a lot of different things.

I was reading about her today. That girl's like, so what? If I, there's no shame in depression and not being able to conceive children. I was like, you are just a fucking joy every time. Like literally she can make the most depressing headlines of anybody I've ever seen in my life. They can be like, hey Selena, how are you doing? And able to conceive and still suffering from depression.

Thanks. Okay. Well, how do you feel about being a billionaire? Well, I'm not really sad about not having anybody to share that with. I mean, I guess I'm fine. Thanks for it. Jesus. Go fly a kite girl. Get out there. Well, well, the kite in the air just fell. Selena Gomez presents kites. Now she's a two times billionaire. Kites are in, guys. So anywhere as flying, it's really pointed.

I don't know if I like that. God, could you just enjoy it? For fuck's sake, Selena. Enjoy your kite, Selena. Enjoy the kite time, Selena. What else can we do? We bought your albums, you know, despite the fact that there's not really any melodies on them. We bought your albums.

You leave her alone. Smile, smile, Selena. That's her depressed heart. Okay, let's move on to some Bravo stuff. But that Secret Wives thing anyway, basic white girls, I don't know, they've got me. Wait, wait, wait, there's one more thing. Okay. Okay. I've got to open up this link because I saw this. Jennifer Affleck, Jen Affleck, second married, second cousin of Ben Affleck by marriage, as we all know from the show. I saw this headline that says Jennifer Affleck pens emotional message about marriage

to Zach admits attacks from Mormon wives viewers. So Jen is getting it on all sides. She's written a message to her husband. I've not read this, but this is great. I haven't read it either. I just saw the headline. I was like, she wrote an emotional message. You know, what's funny is that when I saw the headline, I, my brain actually said it was a poem. So I was even more excited. I was like, Oh, it's not an, it's not a poem. Okay. Here's her message. Everyone want to hear her message. We'll, we'll, we'll get through all of this until it gets boring. Okay. This is from Jen.

She wrote this on Instagram. So it was really intimate. We were just kids and we got married young, naive and inexperienced. Okay. Pause. You're still kids. Okay. But babies having babies. And just to prove it, the ad next to this is door. The Explorer new show now streaming on parents. Oh, mine says the voice, which is something she apparently doesn't have in the relationship. So, um, it's funny because that's what Jennifer Lopez also suffers from a lack of

is kind of related to all these people too. We're well, apparently whenever Jen Affleck needs something from her husband, she has to really, she really has to make a strong appeal and wait for him to swoon around in his chair. She's like, yes, I get my. This is a show long. And let me tell you what's gonna happen here.

I haven't read it. I'm just seeing the word count. Nothing happens in this post. I can tell you that right now. Nothing. So I'll read the first paragraph and then we can decide whether we want to go on. So she's saying that they were just kids when we got married, young, naive and inexperienced. We truly had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. Coming from completely different

backgrounds, families and upbringings. It didn't seem to make sense. We were polar opposites. You, second cousins to Ben Affleck, my mom getting stuck thrown at her head by your dad until he was. How could we make this work? How could we see the same picture? We didn't always see eye to eye and a lot of times we still don't. But that's what marriage is. We keep trying. I truly believe there were lessons we both needed to teach each other. No, here's the lesson you're learning. You don't go marry some rich person and then support his ass while he's going to school. Let me tell you what's going to happen.

This man is going to cheat on you and leave you the second he's a rich doctor. I guarantee you. And then he's going to have you working at that same hospital that his mom is. I can see this coming a mile away and I wish you had a gay uncle, Ronnie or gay auntie Ronnie over there to tell you this man is no good. And you are fucked. This man is not going to be with you. Oh, they definitely have a gay uncle Ronnie. They just don't talk to him. We don't talk. I'm freezing out in the cold. I'm like, no, really?

Outer darkness, outer darkness. So yeah, she's like, yeah, I truly believe there were lessons we both needed to teach each other. I'm like, no, really outer darkness outer darkness. So yeah, she's like, yeah, I truly believe there were lessons we both needed to teach each other. I'm like, okay, we can start with hair color. That would be a good lesson for your husband while we start there. Yeah. So when we were dating, Zach bought me my first laptop when we had $10 in his bank account. Oh, and how did he buy your first laptop? That doesn't make sense. So now does he win a fucking award for having a Capital One card? He

has rich parents. Okay, he gave me his old MacBook Air, like first edition. Yeah, when you only had $10 in his bank account, you know, aside from the $40,000 his parents gave him in his trust fund, but which would actually be much higher than that. When I shared my dream of running a marathon, he trained alongside me and ran it with me. Oh wow.

Well guess what? That's free. I know really that's a dare to dream of running a marathon. Carol Radswell did it. You can do it too. Okay. Oh, and then she goes, Oh wait, she goes, I told him I wanted to start my videography business. So he saved up money and bought me my first camera.

It was a digital video recorder that had been antiquated for at least 15 years. Girl, that was your iPhone and you were paying for that. And then she says, oh geez. And then she says, when I accidentally opened then she says, I accidentally opened the window. When we were expecting our first baby, I wanted a place to call home. So he worked hard, saved up and bought us our first house.

Really, when you were pregnant with his child? What a fucking prince. I know. That was so nice of him to do that. I hope you caught that all on video with your business. What a sweetheart. A man actually making an effort to put a roof over the head of the woman pregnant with his child. That is crazy. Let me just try to imagine what Jen's videography business was like.

Okay, it's like this. Oh my goodness. You know, it'd be so good with this footage. Let's play that Bruno Mars marriage song. It'll be so good. Cut to, Oh my God, I love this video you took of a chipmunk. You know, it'd be great with this. The Bruno's Bruno Mars marriage song. Do that one again. You know, every song is just gonna have Bruno Mars that marriage song. You know what I'm talking about? That marriage song. I think I'm going to marry you. Don't you hate that?

She's good. That is the song for Jen Apple to the world to make videos. Hey, baby. I think I'm gonna marry you. And like, please stop with us. I love that song. Remember when everybody was getting flash mob engaged? Oh, yes. You know that like, Jen is like she like, you know, she stays up late at night. Just watching those videos that Bruno Mars song just crying.

She's like, they're getting married. Literally the worst song in the world. Love that song. So she's like, yeah, he got my video. He got my first thing and then he gave me stability and freedom. And that allowed me to post videos online and launch my career on social media. Wow. He let you post to TikTok? What a fucking... This is amazing. I mean, basically he's Gloria Steinem. He let you press record on TikTok? Oh my God. He is so, so supportive. You know, we're still young and we have two precious babies

and we still have struggles like so many marriages. Like, what did you do with my Bruno Mars CD? Why won't you let me play it anymore? But do we love each other? Yes. Are we willing to put in the work to be better? Yes. Does he only speak to me every third weekend?

Yes. Have there been moments when we wanted to walk away? Of course. Were there other moments where you remember his second cousin is Ben Affleck? Of course. But there's so much more to marriage than Ben Affleck. So she says, because I got to do those videos now I get to support him and our family while he's been in school. And I couldn't have done it without Zach. Is that perfect? No. Does he have flaws that we needed to address? Yes. But

I can confidently say that he's always supported and believed in me more than anyone else. Okay, I haven't even seen the episode that she must be defending. But apparently they all go to Vegas and he yells at her for going to some strip show while he's gambling her money away at the fucking poker table. This is not about how supportive he is or he let you do a TikTok. This is him being a controlling, abusive asshole while he's gambling your money away that you made when we all know he's going to leave your ass the second he's a rich doctor. Do you think she's calling TikTok her videography business? Is that what's going on? Because when you say you have a videography business, to me, that means you're filming like high school graduations, bar mitzvahs. Well, she started with videography business, but now she's trans, she's, she, she got on TikTok and that made her famous. So why would she do, why would she film someone's wedding?

You know, she's not going to go work with those basics. She's, she's rich and famous now. Wow. Um, well, uh, good luck to them. Sounds like their relationship is in a great place and nothing could possibly go wrong. I'm, I'm sure they're going to make it. Also, you guys lied about being Ben Affleck's relatives. We all know it. I said it last week. Now things are coming out on Reddit that looks like someone did a genealogy thing that proves it. You guys are foolish. And I hope that you don't feel totally lied to because you were. You didn't even get to marry Ben Affleck's cousin, you married a liar, okay? Good luck with that, good luck with your terrible man.

But also run away because you seem like a nice person, okay? I don't know why I'm so mad at you in this post. I just hate people defending people. I hate people defending men like this, you know? Your defense of men like this keeps men like this in circulation, he's like a bad dollar. Take him out of circulation. Print a new dollar.

By the way, you know that Me Too really worked because she didn't even brag about being related to Casey Affleck. He looks more like Casey Affleck in that movie where Casey Affleck was a bleach blonde kid. Do you remember that with Bette Midler? It's a long time ago. Like, this is an indie. Yeah, Casey Affleck.

Is that film farm? Wait, what? Wait, Bette Midler did an indie movie. She was a grumpy old lady. It was called drowning Mona. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought that wasn't an indie. I thought that was just a flop. David Hyde Pierce. You know, any movie that I don't remember very well. I just say it's an indie. You know, any movie that I don't remember very well, I just say it's an indie. Bet Medler, David Hyde Pierce, and Casey Appleg in the Sundance hit Drowning Mona.

I think it was. I think it's an indie anyway. Because Bet Medler was like really old and cranky and didn't let herself be glammed up. And that's what actors do. You know, they're like, I'm going to do an Indie where I'd let them show my age. And that's how I'm going to get my Oscar. Because I think this was around when she didn't get her for the boys Oscar. So she's like, I'm going to do an Indie now. Oh, yeah, he definitely wasn't drowning Mona. You're correct. OK, here's here's the bond.

He looks here's who else is in this Indie movie Danny Devito, Neve Campbell, a friend of friend of the Real Housewives, Jamie Lee Curtis and William Fickner. That's fun. That's fun. That's a fun cast. It's actually a great cast. It was a good movie. You know, for the five guys who

saw it, it's so appropriate for today. The plot, the first line of the plot, Mona dearly can't unlock her car. So dot dot dot. I'm like, that's what's happening to me. I am Mona right now. I can't get into my car because someone lost my keys. Yeah, she's a grumpy old lady that everybody wants dead.

It's basically my future, that movie. Let's all, let's all wash it together. OK, so what else is going on? Some little gossip here and there. We'll get back to Bravo. Sorry, that was a long, basic white girl stretch, but you know what? I needed it. I feel better. That's good. It's good. Some more basic white girls, Kyle and Morgan. Kyle Richards. It was rumored this week, and by rumored, I mean, I saw some gossip thing on Reddit. Let me see, do we believe this, T? This was from the Real Housewives zone.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle Richards, allegedly was close to coming out with Morgan Wade until she saw text messages with another woman. What? And then she apparently was so, I don't know if she was embarrassed or enraged, but I guess she didn't want that to be part of the storyline of the show,

so she didn't bring it up. So, you know, another win for being open and honest on Beverly Hills. Yeah. And Reese Witherspoon, speaking of Kyle, possibly speaking of Kyle, Reese Witherspoon, this is from DailyMail.com. Reese Witherspoon hints that she has an upcoming project

cooking with a mystery real housewives star after they sat on a plane together. And people are guessing it's probably Kyle. I mean, that's ridiculous. We all know it's Quinn Fry. as we all know it's Quinn Fry. It's obviously Lynn Curtin. No, no, the one that was was sitting next to her, most likely to Sean Snow. I would love is just some random Real Housewife who just somehow got the year Reese Witherspoon.

Okay, what do you want to talk about? Do you think it's Kyle? I don't care. I just wanted to say Reese Witherspoon because I love her. I think that realistically, it's got to be someone who is sitting in first class. So I think it's gonna be Kyle. It could be it could be Kyle. It could be Bethany. I don't know who else is really people think people are saying is Kyle or Garcell. I would agree that it's Garcell. Those sound those sound right to me. Personally. Yeah. Well, I think it's this Kyle drive fly private though, although I guess now that she's I feel like she would fly private. Um, I don't know. She flies a lot and she flies with a bunch of people who might not be able

to afford the price. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't care enough about Kyle to speculate, even though I was the one who brought it up. But I will say, I was going to come up with something to say, but I couldn't. But I think it's probably Kyle because she is always pitching. Kyle may be a terrible person or a human, but she hustles, she's always out there selling stuff and she actually sells it. So she talks people into doing her stuff. She does do that. And they all, you know, but they're still do it. They still make it

so good for her. And I think that she talked Reese Witherspoon into it. Well, Lala Durga in our comments says maybe it was TV's Heather DeBrow. Well, you know, Heather television. Maybe it's a show on the HD network. Heather Dubrow recently took some photos with Sabrina Carpenter, so I would love to know the backstory on that. Did you see those photos? What was that? It's just like Heather with photos with Sabrina Carpenter, and I don't understand the context of it.

I don't know if like Sabrina came up to Heather or Heather wound up to Sabrina, but- Oh really, you don't know how that happened? Really? Hello, hello, hello youngster. Have you ever heard of Malibu Country? I once had an arc on that show and I was a smash hit. So I was wondering if you would like my autographs. I think that Sabrina was like, Oh my God, I'm like such a young new star.

It's so great being here on a red car. Why is it getting shade? Is that why is there shade coming? Are there are there clouds gathering overhead? And then Heather, just like a marionette puppet just appears with giant black eyes above them. Hello. My name is television's Heather Dupro. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I've made a deal with the devil that as long as I keep killing my co-stars, I can interface with young celebrities. So unfortunately Wendy Malick had to go. And here I am. Hello, poor person. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, so you want a facelift, huh? You'll have to go through me if you wanna get to Terry. Help me on your show. Let's see, what else is happening on that show? Emily went on Jeff Lewis and was like, oh, whatever. Talking about Alexis. And then Alexis has been making the rounds talking about how she's really sick of Bravo because they are making her look bad. And

she's really bad at all. It's just how they're editing her, which is pretty hilarious. Oh, okay. Yeah. First of all, Alexis, you're never going to win the battle by saying that Bravo is being mean to you. Bravo is not going to say, you know what? We are being mean to Alexis. Let's just change our editing and make her look really good the rest of the season. I guarantee the moment you poke that bear, those editors are shady. Okay. The especially an orange County, they do all sorts of tricks on that show. So you don't get on their bad side. Don't blame the editing

because the very first thing they're gonna do is start shading you in ways you can't even imagine via Final Cut Pro. Yeah, so that's them. What else is going on in this world? Well, let's see. Let's see. Well, Heather DeBrow is addressing cheating rumors.

She was saying something along the lines of like, it's funny that people are saying that Terry is stepping out on me. I mean, look at me, I look pretty good. I don't, I mean, I don't look that cute today, but I generally look really good. Why isn't anyone saying I'm cheating on Terry? Which is such a Heather Dubrow response. But you know, like the paparazzi photos,

people will say he cheats on me, said Dubrow. It's like we're together 24 seven, when is he cheating on me? And by the way, all right, I don't look very good right now, but I'm cute. Yeah, why does no one think I'm cheating? Because you seem like you're made out of a branch and a couple of strings.

You look like a doll that was made to scare children in the woods, okay? I mean, do I have afternoon sexual activities with Drake next door? What, who said that? Did someone start a rumor about me and Drake? That'd be terrible. That would, I don't want people to think I'm relevant.

I'm just a housewife. I'm not part of pop culture. I would never ever be a sexual conquest for rap industry's Drake. That would be wild. Who's putting those rumors out there? Ha ha ha. I am a very secure, grown woman. And I would never stay in a relationship that wasn't serving me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No one's saying that you're staying in a relationship that's not serving you. I'm sure the relationship is serving you just fine. That's why you're staying in it. Now I wouldn't stay with someone for the children.

I wouldn't, I would move on. You'd stay with somebody for a hundred million dollars. Isn't that what you're worth? I mean, how much is that? And by the way, that's your money too. I'm not saying that's Terry's money because at this point that's their money. They built that house.

I think that probably the majority of it, I would say is probably hers, right? Cause you know, she built that mall house mostly on her own. Yeah. By the way, I love that. She said I wouldn't stay in a relationship that wasn't serving her like, or it wasn't serving me like, of course, Heather DeBrow wants to be even served by the relationship. Now, do I complain about the service? Do I give the service 10% occasionally? Sure.

Hello, this relationship has to enter through a secret side door into our house. Does Terry ask for split checks in the service and occasionally take a doggie bag to feed some strange woman? Probably. Wait a minute. I need to get out of this restaurant. Commercials, here comes one right now. Do you think Heather would be good on the Traders? She would be fucking insufferable. You know what? I would love to see Heather on the Traders because I would love to see Normies reacting to Heather.

Because I think we've all become just so accustomed to how Heather acts. Even I find Heather amusing these days. You know, she used to really trigger me. And you wouldn't be able to tell it in today's show. But actually, I mean, I think she's been fine for the most part this year. She's been enjoyable. So we're so brainwashed, you know, once you get to know people. I mean, look how well you deal with me. Most people can't, you know, because you get to know people, I mean, look how well you deal with me. Most people can't, you know, because you've gotten to know Shashroni. But I think it would be fun to watch normal people who have never been exposed to her before exposed to her for the first time.

Like, I think she would be actually so amazing on the traders because first of all, her at the roundtable, she'd be terrifying. She would just have them all killed all at once. She was like, you are a traitor. You are a faithful, but you dress poorly. And you have no IMDB. You all should leave. And they're like, well, guess I gotta leave.

Yeah, I think she would too. She'd be like, that one ate carbs. That one ate three dinner rolls. Put that one in jeans. Every time Alan came in, she'd be like, Oh, good. Have you made down? Have you made up my room? Oh, good. I'm so glad the butler is back. Is there another floor to this castle, by the way?

She'd be trying to brand every event to sell her own shit. Before we have our accusations around this roundtable, I would like to welcome Susan Bender, who is going to be outfitting you all in blazers and just some basics. Also, here is a meal complimentary of the HD Network. It's a cucumber slice on a little creme fraiche foam. Thank you. Oh, Heather. You know, look, I don't know if Terry is cheating or not. I assume all men cheat. So that's kind of where I'm coming from. I'm a cynical person, especially rich men.

Because I think poor men are like, they have too much to lose, but rich men are like, go ahead, take half my 50,000 million trillion dollars. Like, I don't care. I don't, I would say that now. I will say Terry's got to be exhausted. He works a million jobs. He got the mama Elsa.

And I know just at 50 already, like I still can get horny or whatever, but I'll need a helicopter before I get going. I mean, how long does that guy sit there swinging it around in a circle before he can finally climb on top of somebody? At some point, it just becomes exhausting. You know, it's just easier to stay home. I personally am really enjoying Terry's hair this season. I don't know if it's like a little wig

or if it's just what's left of his hair or whatever. And I'm not here to shame. I'm not here to shame balding, cause I am balding. I'm losing my hair. Ronnie, you are bald. We all go through it. it all is the process. But I think that Terry's way of coping with it, he has his hair is he sort of has his hair in this little way that just reminds me

my grandma, RIP, grandma Sally. It was just like, you know, when grandma Sally was, I think about 85, 86, she literally had Terry Dubrow's haircut. And I think it's so sweet that he has that. He really does have my idea of his hair. Friar tuck hair. Yeah, it's like this thin sort of like sideways sort of trapezoid. And I just, you know, it's so sweet.

Yeah, it is sweet. He does have sweet little cheater hair. You know, good for him. Sweet little grandma cheater hair, you know? At some point, you know, your husband or your wife, really whoever you're married to, you get to an age where things, you could just get in a bad mood

and just stay in a bad mood forever. Just stop wanting to do stuff. You know, I'm already getting to that point. So I would just say, if I'm married to a man that's like that far along in life and he's that rich, he could quit. He could just become a grumpy old fucker and do nothing. And you know, just golf all day, but he doesn't. So I say if he's out

there cheating, good for him. He's out there making an effort towards something, you know, and sometimes that's the least you can ask for your morals change a little bit as you age, you know, it's not is he cheating on me? It's like, is he staying active? Good for him. Yeah, yeah. Someone says, why doesn't Terry fixes hair? If you have money, you can have hair. No, Bruce Willis doesn't. That's always been my argument about taking any balding stuff or putting on the propice or whatever. If it worked, Bruce Willis would have hair. That's it. Done. Mic drop. Okay. Yeah, there's a I do feel like when it comes to cosmetic surgery and wigs, it's just the technology is just so much farther behind for men. I think there's just more of a demand

for women. So there are women's wigs, women's, you know, facial surgery, all that stuff is really good. But for men, like we're still stuck in the 70s. Like when when people put on their toupees or whatever, it's literally like a helmet. It's like a motorcycle helmet. I mean, it's just, it's, it's just not, it's, it's, it's rough. I think that, um, you know, they're getting better for men for sure. And they're pretty obvious, but I don't think it's, I think that they look a lot better on men,

but people are so harsh towards men with wig. Yeah. They just rip them apart. Like you can't get anywhere in a wig without people just ripping you to shreds, you know, but then you can watch his mom talk, those people are wearing 30 pounds of hair on their head. They look ridiculous. They look like they're wearing a whole other person on their head. And no one makes fun of that. I mean, except us, but still. Yeah, we really should normalize male wigs because like, there'd be fun. I think the problem is that the wigs just have to look a little bit better.

Like I think we need to like improve. It's just hard because I guess like a lot of men have like short cropped hair. And like that's where you can really see where a wig is a wig. You know, I think it's just like so much easier for women, you guys. Like the world is basically built for women. OK. It's just a shame. Like men really don't get anything. Don't get anything. I don't not prioritize.

It's really hard for men in this world. Okay. So, um, Monica Garcia got a villains gig. So that's something she's not on it. She's the narrator. I think let me look to see what the story is. Did they just sort of patch her in or something like that? I don't watch villains, which is terrible. I heard it was actually good. Um, after being at the epicenter of Salt Lake city's most explosive and controversial season to date.

Sorry, Heather guy, are you going to cancel the online now? The Bravo alum is joining season two of house of villains, but it's not exactly what you think. Hi, bad bitches. Monica now her Instagram. That's right. So one and only Monica Garcia. And if you thought you knew me from the real housewives

of Salt Lake City, think again. Cause this time I'm not just stirring the pot. I'm narrating the whole damn show. Who thought that was a good idea? Okay. You can say a lot of things about Monica, but one thing you can't say about her is that she has a voice for narration. She's like, previously I'm a hell of a villain.

I'm like, I don't think I want to hear that. Monica is one of those people I can almost guarantee no one has come up to in the street and said, you know what? You should do voiceovers. No one's ever said that. No one's ever said that. Now what I would like would be Monica and her mom doing voiceovers and trying to do the same lines. Monica Darnell, I said I would be doing this like,

Mom, you're such a fucking bitch, this is my line. No, this is my line. They produced it for me. They said this would be my line. Mom, why won't you let me get Evan at a moment line. Yeah, truly. The only way this announcement would have been better is if the mom came up and just pushed her down the stairs. So that was that was that one. Jax was booed at a giggly. Oh, yeah. I love this. Yeah, I saw the video. This was wonderful. First of all, I'm also bummed because I didn't even realize the giggly squad. I had a show this weekend here in LA. I totally would have gone I'm really bummed that I missed it.

Okay, that's either here or there. I don't know. So what happened? You saw the video you tell me what happened. So basically, what happened was I think that Jax and Tom Schwartz were in the audience. And I don't think they were planned to be there. And it was like, there was audience participation, passing a microphone, something like that. So Jack stands up, and everyone starts booing. And Jax is like, Well, thanks for thanks for having me here. And the person who's holding the phone goes, No one's having you here, which is great. And there's just like a lot of booing. And then Tom Schwartz stands up and everyone's like, Oh, it was like, Oh,

like it's just like, Oh God, it's a two for one special. And then Jackson's trying to say something. We hear Hannah saying something. The article says that she said something like which Tom and then Schwartz tries to talk Jackson sits down cause he can't really get a word in edgewise and Tom tries to say something, but like because he can't really get a word in edgewise and Tom tries to say something. But like really the audience is like, no, we are not here for this. I don't even know why they tried.

It's one thing for Jackson to crash a crap in show, but to crash the Giggly Squad, which is gonna be so like, that's really just like hardcore, like, you know, that's like, that is a true, just like all female situation. And like, I don't know what Has people surrounding him wooing him wherever he goes I mean he has his own bar in the Val and that place is always packed of people just time to see Jack So he probably thinks he can walk in there and still get people you never know with fans

You know, sometimes the fans will just kiss his butt So maybe he was expecting that and I really respect the listeners of that show for not having it yeah thank you thank you giggly squad listeners for booing Jax into being silent because yeah like he the fact that he thought he could just he was gonna be able to stand there and do his spiel and he was smiling and trying to be charming and everything it's like nope also another article that you pulled was that Britney, speaking of Jack's Britney, she has a revenge body and it's gonna be debuted and size into the valley. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

every time I get hungry. I don't even eat anymore. My revenge body just says, sound of I just cross off my body. Just like in that show Revenge. I cross off my own face every morning. I look at my revenge body, my revenge body and the mirror looks back at me and says, you're a cool guy, you're a cool guy.

You're a cool guy Kingsley. Okay, so here's my first question about this revenge body. I'm looking at the picture right now. It's posted in the US sun. She's also got a revenge face. Let me tell you, these people don't just sit around in the off season. They are tuning their, if your body is your temple,

these people are constantly redoing Notre Dame, okay? It's like someone comes into Notre Dame at the end of every season and burns it down. And then they just put some scaffolding up. I can't wait to see what we get next year. But she's got a new face, a new body. Everything looks great. Also airbrushed, very highly airbrushed, OK?

But still, you still look great. And I want to know if Kyle Chan owns an air sculpt company. Because you remember Kristen during her season was like, I got that Kristen, she's like, I got air sculpting. That's some kind of lipo that you can do that's easier, I don't know. She got it and now Britt got it. They're all getting free air sculpting somewhere. Kyle Chan.

Kyle Chan. Puff, puff, give, babe. Remember when Tom Sandoval had no one on Band of Prom Pools to even shoot with, so he had to commission Kyle Chan to be like his buddy to go out with. And so like they would go to like the Skybar and Kyle Chan's like, hey, bro, like what's the haps? What's happened? All these girls got you down.

Am I right? Yo, I'm like, okay, Kyle Chan, you're doing great, sweetie. Yeah, I was like, guys, Tom, Tom didn't mean it. Let's forgive Tom. That's what's fun. Forgiveness in our hearts. By the way, does anybody need 20% off? Nobody's nobody's getting married this season. Nobody. I could have sworn I heard that Bruno Mars marriage song.

Sorry. Just showing up my real. Oh, Jen Affleck, get out of here. So one of the captions, this has nothing to do with anything. But one of the captions under one of these pictures says, Jax Taylor seen after his bipolar diagnosis post rehab at his bar. Is there a more Jax? caption than that. That's Taylor seen after his bipolar diagnosis post rehab at

his bar. Why did the only other, the only way it could be more Jack Taylor would be Jack Taylor post rehab, post bipolar diagnosis at Planned Parenthood paying for the lady he met in Vegas. All right, everybody. That brings us to the end of the news section of crappy hour. So if you're listening, if you're

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