Watch What Crappens - #2571 RHOSLC S05E02 Part Two: Rope-a-Dopes

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

This is part 2 of a two-part recap!The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City head to a ropes course to bond, which of course leads to them fighting with each other.  Plus, we learn more abou...t our newbies and learn about the first cast trip of the season to glamorous, sunny… Milwaukee? To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:54 This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So then we go to a pickleball scene with Heather and Brittany. So now we're gonna get to know some more about Brittany. She's a disaster.
Starting point is 00:01:12 So hang tight. So Brittany's like, yeah, my mom built a pickleball court in her backyard because the HOA wouldn't let her build a full tennis court, but she did get a pickleball court, so that's fine. You know, Brittany is one of my Mormon friends. I met her through Angie Harrington, and there's an earnestness and sort of also a vapidity that kind of an open vulnerability. I meant to say not that pitiful. I don't even know if that pitiful is even a word, but she has a
Starting point is 00:01:39 vulnerability, you know, and I find that really, really charming, not a very interesting person, but vulnerable. And I appreciate that. It's just such a nice departure from my other friends that are defensive and cynical, you know. So they're playing pickleball. This is actually one of the few times where they actually are pretty competent because we have like most of the scene is them hitting the ball back and forth having a conversation. I was like, I don't think we've ever seen a rally that goes as long as that has gone between these two.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Yeah. And we see that Heather's having a trust fall event or whatever where they go do ropes courses. And she we see the little video thing that she the video invitation that she made. Do you love adventures? Do you love she made. Do you love adventures? Do you love the outdoors? Do you love friendship? Well, you can have them all if you come to my girl event. Which you're obligated to go to because we're shooting it.
Starting point is 00:02:38 So then Heather's like, so by the way, how are you and Jared? She goes, oh my gosh, we are just figuring it out. I'm Mormon, but I've also been married and divorced twice. And I met Jared right after my second divorce because my ex-husband and his ex-fiance started dating and then Jared found out first and he called me and we commiserated and we trauma bonds over
Starting point is 00:02:56 and our friendship turned into romance and he's an Osman, that's really exciting. But Jared and I have broken up like 16 times. We've always get back together and we just can't seem to stay broken up, okay? I have to do her as Ramona because she looks like, she's like Utah Ramona to me, so I can't help it. Really? I don't see Ramona.
Starting point is 00:03:12 What do you see about Ramona with her? Like her looks? I think her face looks, I think, yeah, I think her face looks so much like Ramona. I cannot not see it. Oh, Ramona to me is all personality. It's like that just like crazy look in her eye. Well, that's why I only did a light Ramona inflection. Oh my gosh. So Brittany's like, how come you aren't dating Heather? And she's like,
Starting point is 00:03:39 because my life is finally going in the direction I want. Why would I mess it up with some guy?" Brittany's like, well, you're supposed to... I love when people don't understand that answer. They're just like, but isn't it better to just be miserable than be alone? And she says, you know, I understand a bad marriage because, you know, you and I have had really similar experiences. You know, I'll put it that way. I mean, we sacrifice what we want for a man. But it seems like you're only divorced for like, how many months before you're in another serious relationship? Yeah, I know. Actually, the longest I've ever been single is like eight months.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Well, why does being alone make you uncomfortable? I guess because I valued that romantic relationship probably more than I maybe should. And Heather's like, alone make you uncomfortable. I guess because I valued that romantic relationship probably more than I maybe should." And Heather's like, yeah, but what about your kids? You know, weren't they torn in a million different directions because there's all these guys and issues and she's like, well, I've totally sacrificed my kids for a man, but that's my fault and P.S. it's biblical, right? Well, what happened? What happened, Brittany?
Starting point is 00:04:45 Would you like to tell America? Oh, it's a long story. And I'm going to need the full cast to be here for me to tell it. So I'll just have to tell you some other time. She totally did too. She's like, yeah, even though Heather knows, Heather knows everything in this woman's life, except what happened in this, in this unique situation. Heather knows, Heather was like, girl, I'm trying to set you up for America to fall in love with you. She's like, I need to pay that out because I'm going to be here 10 years. So, yeah. So Heather says that she's Mormon and she's kind of like the Mormon that Heather grew up with
Starting point is 00:05:20 and the celestial law is clear as day. You season your tea with only celestial things. Also, you can get into heaven without children, but not without a husband. So Mormonism creates women that prize their romantic, this is just so crazy. Like honestly, who does, stop, get out, run. All of you run. You can't get into heaven without a man. Then what's the fucking point of heaven? In my heaven, there aren't any. In my
Starting point is 00:05:52 heaven, there's only housewives. So how does that work? You know, the most painful part of life in her grads is knowing that you could have made a better choice. And Heather's like, yeah, but you still didn't lose your zest for love. Do you want to talk about it? I'm giving you a chance to do a scene with me. I'm the star of the show. Which was no, no, I just, I really don't know what that's about. She goes, patriarchy. Maybe. I don't actually know what that word means. So now, now we go to the lunatic fringe salon.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Is that really what Angela, I mean Angie's salon is called Lunatic Fringe? Lunatic Fringe. Well, so Bronwyn shows up and they're pretty much gonna like give Bronwyn a free blowout. And Angie's like, thank God people in Salt Lake City are so vain and like to get their hair done because our business is booming.
Starting point is 00:06:43 We're opening our 10th location and Sean and I love working together. Okay? We went through a lot last year with people talking about our marriage and rumors and our business and it brought us closer together and we are stronger as a couple today because of it. Thanks Meredith. I'm Greek. There is nothing to keep a marriage spicier than gay rumors about your husband in a hair salon. Hey girl. Sean has never gotten more texts from strangers.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Hey girl Bronwyn, what's going on? If you thought we were going to get your hair done in peace, you have another thing coming because guess what? You are getting a complimentary tzatziki hair treatment. She's like, well, I'm just dying to see you independent of everybody else. I was like, that girl, that girl is the one I want to talk to. That one right there. Thank you for saying that because I left Lisa's thinking I love Bronwyn and worried that you
Starting point is 00:07:39 might be thinking of me because of how my relationship with Lisa might have looked that night. Oh, I love a good scroll. Now I love Lisa, but you know what? It's not like you were wrong. I mean, Lisa is Lisa, you know what I mean? And I just don't go on to kiss her ass and all that. But you know, I maybe I should have I had a conversation separate with Whitney where I said maybe she's got to find a different way to get her point across. But you know, Bronwyn talks a lot, by the way. That's another thing. She talks so much.
Starting point is 00:08:07 And I have to remind myself looking at Bronwyn's lines like, okay, condense, condense. Really talks a lot without saying very much. Not that I would know what that's like at all. I'm like, I know I, I, yeah, it's a foreign experience for me because I'm pretty succinct, I think succinct. Um, so she's like, yeah, I mean, I hope that we never have, by the way, Angie, I hope that we never have a full scrolls worth of problems. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:08:33 You're worth a longer scroll full of good things. You are a good scroll. So then they're talking about how they met at an event and Angie thought her husband was so sweet and Bron was like, oh wow, like not everybody sees that side of him. Most people are just asking what size diapers he wears and asking if he needs help crossing the street.
Starting point is 00:08:55 So that was sweet of you. And she goes, yeah, and I, you know, like, you know, I was talking to somebody else and I didn't know that night and they asked me if I'm hard to get to know. And I said, yeah, and I, you know, like, you know, I was talking to somebody else and I didn't know that night and they asked me if I'm hard to get to know. And I said, yes, I am, but I didn't feel that way about you. Can I ask who? And if you don't wanna tell me, you don't have to. Which goes, well, Brittany's all over the place.
Starting point is 00:09:15 And I wanna see how that goes a little bit more. She's, oh yeah, you know, I saw Brittany yesterday. We went bowling and she brought her, brought the fur heart up twice yesterday. She was just being really weird and poor Britney doesn't even get a flashback to like her talking shit about Bronwyn. I know that I don't think they like Britney much over there. Okay, well if there was a flashback it would be Britney putting her fingers in the bowling
Starting point is 00:09:39 ball and then saying oh my god there's a ring on my finger I think this bowling ball is asking me to marry it. I don't like to call other women stupid. And like, I'd like to be supportive of other women, but I'm not sure this woman can spell YSL. So I'm not really pressed about whether or not she liked what I was wearing. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I mean, like, I'm not even saying Yves Saint Laurent. I mean, I don't know if she could put the three letters together. I just wanted to make sure that you really understood my joke, because like, I don't know if she could put the three letters together. I just wanted to make sure that you really understood my joke because like, I don't like calling other women stupid, but I'm also not sure you even got my YSL joke. And she's like, yeah, there's no other way to say this. Women like Brittany are why I struggle to make friends. Dun, dun, dun. And she says she often thinks she can trust somebody,
Starting point is 00:10:24 but then it turns out that she couldn't trust them. You're the one talking shit behind everybody's back on day one. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And please keep doing it. What did this lady do? This lady said she liked her costume. She thought she was being complimentary.
Starting point is 00:10:38 So Bronwyn's like, I know I love that. She's still worried about that like a week later. And Angie's like, yeah, so you're going to really have to go over the top tomorrow. At least to compete with me. I am wearing the biggest sunglasses tomorrow. You have ever seen. And she's like, she says it reminds her of being pregnant at BYU at 19 and everybody was judging her.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I feel like being pregnant at BYU at 19 is like part of like your application essay. It's like, is she pregnant yet? Not pregnant. Everyone on the secret, but like, oh, unmarried. Yeah. Because that's like everyone on the secret lives of Mormon wives is like, I had my baby when I was 19. I had a baby when I was 20. So I feel like being 19 and pregnant is like not crazy. Yeah. But I think of a 19 and pregnant is like not crazy. Yeah, but I think of a whole unmarried like single mom thing at 19 people are probably like, yeah, forgot about that. I
Starting point is 00:11:32 forgot. Thank you for reminding me. Oh my god. It's like public service. Thank you. Thank you for like filling in that very important nuance of the situation. But it's true. But it's interesting that she also walks in with another heavy load on her. I wonder if it's like trauma from college, you know what I mean? She's like pregnant in college and now she's coming into a new group of girls. So she's like, well, I can't be pregnant. So maybe I can just wear like something gigantic that people can judge.
Starting point is 00:12:00 And then so she put on that big for heart thing. I don't know. Yeah. So yeah, she says that she just sho that big for heart thing. I don't know. Yeah. So, um, yeah, she says that she just shoved all that feeling down and, uh, this is why she can't like, doesn't always feel like she can trust other people and she's always waiting for someone to let her down.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Oh Jesus. Well, welcome to humanity. That's what we're supposed to do to each other. Let each other down, you know, and you're so lucky you found a better way to deal with your feelings. Personally, I love eating mine. I just love, thank you, mustard. Delicious on my feelings. So then she's somehow making this thing of Brittany saying, I like your costume, and to Brittany being a bully at 19 when she was pregnant. So that's a lot to put on Brittany, who I don't think really deserves it yet. I think Brittany is going to be a nightmare, but I think you're struggling too hard for a problem with this girl. This girl didn't do anything. No. So now they're all arriving at basically a ropes course, a very,
Starting point is 00:12:56 very tall ropes course. You know, I'm getting memories of ropes courses, Astros of the past, Orange County when Vicki almost got her finger sliced off by the rope. And also New Jersey, where there was issues with Therese and Margaret. And you know, Ropes Courses bring out the worst in our cast, which is why they're really so good for these shows. Ropes Courses, that's where Jackie actually said,
Starting point is 00:13:19 I would never want to be on Marge's bad side. And then look what happened. That's right. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. So here we are at the ropes course. Mary just looks up and goes, wow, ropes? So if somebody falls, then that's it?
Starting point is 00:13:37 Yes, Mary. They're gonna pair down the cast by putting you on ropes and whoever survives it gets to stay on TV and the world. Stay on the ropes. Yeah, this is welcome. You're playing squid games. So Heather's like, no, I'm- I love that she's just so serious too.
Starting point is 00:13:56 She's like, so then that's it then, huh? One moment you're on a rope, score is next you're like my congregant who drove off a cliff. So others like, no, I'm sure we got harnessed in. So then Melee shows up and Whitney is like, I think today is just gonna be a standstill with Lisa. And like, I'm pissed at her
Starting point is 00:14:20 and I feel like she owes me an apology, but I'm also smart enough to know that she probably thinks I owe her an apology. So then- Ooh, oh, I just love it when these practice lines are so funny, and then she gives a little smile like- Yeah, I did that one by myself. So then everybody starts arriving and stuff, and Mary is praying, you know, she's like,
Starting point is 00:14:45 please Lord, please give me your grace. They're trying to murder me now, Lord. And Brittany is saying, I don't understand why Mary is so rude to me. And Mary's like, well, she's not really a listen. Oh, I'm sorry. Mary's telling us. She's like, she's not really a listener. And if you think I'm poor, ask me. But she just assumed I was poor, okay? Is it because I tried to relate to her? And Mary's like, no, she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She's not even the sharpest spoon.
Starting point is 00:15:16 So now Heather comes and they get instructions on this rope course and they start, Meredith is like, no, no, thank you, I have a lot to look forward to, namely putting together a set list for wonky donk donk who's gonna be DJing my bot. So we're calling it these days, the bot. Oh, I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a real good night. Sorry, I'm just getting ready for the big day.
Starting point is 00:15:46 We're gonna have Torah karaoke. I know that much, but more to come, more to come. Torah karaoke? That's when everyone just reads from the Torah. Pick your favorite verse and go to town. That's right, no Alicia Keys allowed. What Alicia Keys allowed what Alicia Keys what well just when people sing Alicia Keys a karaoke it's just never good right now this is me speaking of my own personal experience
Starting point is 00:16:20 every time someone gets up there and sings that one Alicia Keys song it's always the thing that brings down the entire room. So I told my brooksy no Alicia Keys during Torayoki. Okay, so Meredith's like, no, I just, I can't do it. I have tennis elbow from churning too much butter. She makes a churning and they're like, oh my God, Meredith, we thought we were talking about something else. Oh, guys, I was supposed to be so happy if I was talking. Oh!
Starting point is 00:16:53 Let me tell you something. The real place I got that tennis elbow was making too much shishuka. What? Are you saying? Shishuka. Are you saying shishuka? Yeah, of course So Lisa's like I gotta figure out who I'm gonna push off
Starting point is 00:17:11 So They're gonna there's tension in the air, you know because Lisa has to avoid Angie and Whitney. She has to survive. I got a good one. Wait. No, I got it I got a good one. I got a good one, Ronnie. I guess I'm gonna be super active today, actively avoiding Anji and actively surviving the ropes course. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know it's bad when you're more excited to see Mare, her death than Lisa. And so she's telling Whitney and Mary that Lisa walked up and she's like why can't she just be nice I'm feeling a little uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Please don't leave me. Whitney making a plea and Mary's like that made my lips chapped I need some chapstick after that. I need some ChapStick after that. What do you mean? So then they do the ropes course and it's crazy, it's wackiness and I don't know, I don't have anything to say about ropes course. Well, it is, no, it is really funny seeing them all up there on the ropes course and at one point,
Starting point is 00:18:17 probably the funniest part is at one point Heather, like basically, like, I don't know what happened, but she winds up like on her knees in front of like the ropes course instructor on top of this like giant pole. And they're like, it looks like Heather's blowing the guy. It really does. And I just sat there and giggled because I honestly do have the mind of my bar mitzvah 13 year old self.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Getting blown. What's happening? Laughing, laughing at really just like that was quite a party party. My bar mitzvah, listen, my bar mitzvah was quite a party, but unfortunately it was not, well, maybe fortunately it was not that. Yeah. It wasn't that much. Listen, it wasn't a freak off. Okay. Oh gosh. Um, so I don't know why I'm going so dark today. So the, um, let's see. So they do ropes and then everyone's encouraging each other cause it's like girl
Starting point is 00:19:10 day, you know, they're like, you can do it. You're a girl. It's like, I'm a girl. I can do it too. And you can do it. We're all girls. Okay. We do it. Marissa. You're doing great. Bath bomb stealer. And then Whitney's like, wow, I'm never going to give a handjob again. That's what it feels like. And then the producer says, why were your why your hands above your head giving a blowjob? And she goes, Well, it's like giving a blowjob. It's like giving a handjob under a desk. And I've been there a couple of times, which is hilarious, because that's how she met her husband.
Starting point is 00:19:44 couple of times, which is hilarious. Cause that's how she met her husband. And then, um, so various, various women are being rescued by the staff cause they like get to a point and they're like, we don't want to do this anymore. So at some point, Mary is down on the ground and they're watching a melee come down from the ropes and Mary goes, who's that up there? And Mary goes, I think that's mainly, Oh, I thought Miley was way thinner than that. Well, yeah, what the hell's wrong with her? It's just like, it's just like,
Starting point is 00:20:14 like she's just so rude all the time. It's hilarious. Yeah, what the hell was that? And so Lisa comes down, she's like, oh my gosh, I love the earth. It's where Diet Coke grows. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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Starting point is 00:21:30 Right now by joining wondering plus in the wonder yet or on Apple podcasts So now they go to like a little food cart to order some food and Mary's like, um, I'll have a quesadilla and then They get all this food. We see them ordering lots and lots of churros and things like that. And then they're sitting at the table and then, uh, Lisa's like, Oh my God, I have never heard the word sis used more. And apparently this is like, Maley's big thing is that we see a quick montage of her on the ropes course. Like you got it sis. Come on sis. You can do it. Hey sis, get over here, hurry up sis. Melee just intimating best friendship
Starting point is 00:22:11 and sisterhood with everybody there. So then we get Brittany's coming out moment. Brittany's like ting ting ting ting ting. Hi everybody, hi, I just wanted to make a toast. So for the talkers, please stop it talkers talkers. Okay. Hi, I'm Brittany, you all know me. Now for those of you who know who are probably all of you with internet access, like my relationship drama has
Starting point is 00:22:37 been on again off again. So last night, Jared took me out and we bought matching jewelry at Louis Vuitton and I was like, okay, I hate you. Carrie took me out and we bought matching jewelry at Louis Vuitton and I was like, okay, I hate you. Why is this an announcement? I'm cringing so hard. Oh no. And she doesn't stop. She's like, and then he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Everyone's like, okay. And he made it Instagram official, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is a huge deal because he's never posted about anyone ever. And everyone's like, what's happening here? And then Bramlin goes, but the Instagram I saw, he said my best friend and you guys were at Costco.
Starting point is 00:23:18 So, and then we see the picture that he posted and she's like sitting in the cart at Costco Costco and it says sometimes you just have to push your best friend around Costco. Yes. And I mean, Bronwyn's like, I'm not giving up anything to go to Costco with some guy that doesn't claim my ass or at least hasn't invented some sort of technology from 25 years ago that never took off. So Heather is like, nobody's gonna take any shine away
Starting point is 00:23:45 from Costco, certainly not me. And while a Costco car has meaning to a lot of people and certainly in my life, I don't think it's a declaration of love that most young girls are looking for. Meanwhile, if there's anyone who I'm shocked has not like taken over a job at Costco is Heather. I can't believe she's not standing at the door and as people like walk to leave, she goes up to their car goes, I need receipts, proof, timeline that
Starting point is 00:24:10 you bought this family size of Cheerios. Get it? That's my line. So Mary is like, my best friend at Costco. That was the gesture. Lisa's like, Oh, wait, is this supposed post? Wait, hold on. Let me look at it. Yeah, I've read it reading, reading, reading. Not about me. Not about me. Where's my name? Not about me. Yeah, this isn't official. You're not official, Breton. Sorry. Brittany's like, But I want you to be happy for me. No, Brittany, you don't get to just make stuff up for people to be happy for you. And why are you giving a toast at a party that's not
Starting point is 00:24:42 about you? Sit the fuck down. Like, yeah. And Mary just goes, I'm just trying to figure out and why are you giving a toast at a party that's not about you? Sit the fuck down. Yeah. And Mary just goes, I'm just trying to figure out why do we care? She goes, Mary, rude! Like you were the other night at me, but you were so rude to me the other night. I was not rude, you were rude.
Starting point is 00:24:57 You said you identified me with poor. You identified me with poor? I never called you poor. She goes, yes, you did. And then we just get a look from Angie who knows that that's not true, but she's just like, I'm Team Mary, I guess because it's more fun.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Have fun. She goes, I don't have any idea how you grew up. You don't. And I don't care about you and your boyfriend. Like, I don't know why this has to be announced. I don't care. And Brittany's like, rude. And she goes, yeah, most of us, most of us don't care. Okay. Most of us do not care. And she goes,
Starting point is 00:25:28 well, I thought this was a group of friends. And she goes, um, I don't even know you. So then Heather goes, wait, so are you not open to learning anything about Brittany? Is that what you're saying? Do you want me to care about you and what you're doing? I didn't ask you to. I didn't have an announcement. Breton, I just, I would be a little worried about us. You don't even have an endorsement with one days. And Brittany's like, talk to me. Tell me why. Well, I feel like Jared's working over a little bit.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Do you really? Oh my God. I can't believe I'm being worked over by Jared. I can't believe this is also becoming a whole scene on the Real Housewives I'm sort of like in the center and probably should just be on this cast now I'm Whitney's like I've never met someone quite like Jared. He seems like a politician to me You are like really really into him and I see that he cares for you but the concern Lisa shares I share as well because he should be happy claiming you as his girlfriend not best friend
Starting point is 00:26:31 you're happy with that you're fine with that I was like no it hurts my feelings so last night I thought I was just so excited to be to do this toast because I just like it's a huge step for us I mean getting to set in the cart, going to Costco, I mean, that's for family size things. Are we gonna have a family? You know what I mean? It just could be so much.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Unfortunately, I think you're just a free sample. There's a lot going on in Brittany's life with her kids and her ex and just trying to figure it out. It's a little bit chaotic and she's working on repairing relationships with her nuclear family. Someone said, do you want to buy some coffee? And he said, why would I when I've already got the milk for free?
Starting point is 00:27:10 You know what I mean? I just thought that was so romantic. Well, Brettna, what are the issues with your family? Like, what happened with your family? Oh, well, it's just like huge personal issues. It's just so much. And then there's like, there's so much going on with her, with her kids, with her ex.
Starting point is 00:27:28 She's just trying to figure it out. I mean, there's just so much storyline, so much storyline. They're like, well, what is it? Oh, just, you know, neither of my daughters will talk to me. Why? Oh, it's just, it's just so,
Starting point is 00:27:43 it's more of an A story, not really a party piece story. It's just, it's so complicated and really, really personal. And Mary goes, but you trust us about your boyfriend. And Brittany's like, well, you just told me you don't like me or want anything to do with me. I didn't say that. But so I don't wanna share my personal details with you.
Starting point is 00:28:03 She goes, you're very difficult. You need some solace. And Bronwyn's like, mare's not wrong. That's my mare. And she's like, I'm kind though. She says, if you're kind, then why can't you make amends with your children? Which is, oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:28:17 So Mary is like, it just kind of bothers me. It's kind of like a big trigger for me. Like, it just reminds me of my mom. My mom, like she cared about having a man. And she basically tells a story about how her mom went off with a guy and neglected her children. And then they were running loose and there was no one to watch over her.
Starting point is 00:28:36 And basically this like really hurts her. She does not like hearing that Brittany, her does not talk with her kids or her kids won't talk with her. And this version of the drama is, you know, I mean, two things can be true at once, but for those of you who don't know all this, Mary is in a fight with her mom over the church
Starting point is 00:28:54 because her mom feels like that should have been her birthright, but then Mary went and married the step-grandfather and suddenly took the church. So like the mom's been on podcasts and stuff, like they hate each other. So of course she's dissing her mom stuff, like they hate each other. So of course she's dissing her mom, you know, but you're not supposed to be dissing people's parenting on these shows. I mean, that's leave us to that's what we do. Like take our, our
Starting point is 00:29:14 stick and come on. But also like Brittany is very obviously like she is trying to have her own coming out party on the show. Like she even says that she was thinking about this toast last night. So she was thinking about it. She was going to make a big scene, a big announcement. She wanted to like have a moment and she was going to be like, Oh my, I'm, you know, I'm going through so much of my life and yada, yada. It all to be, I mean, this Brittany thing feels very rehearsed on her part. And Mary's kind of like, shut up.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Like I know what you're trying to do here and I'm not going to let you have it. Yeah. Well, Mary's reaction is the same as mine. I'm like, be quiet. No one cares. But I'm also cracking up. Exactly turned into a fight because basically it sounds like she cheated on her husband, right? Like she was sleeping around. That's my guess is that she was cheating on her husband. He found out that broke up the family and the kids won't speak to her. That's my guess. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:05 I don't know anything. Sounds good. So now they start arguing and Brittany goes, you have no idea what you're talking about. She goes, I don't care. You just shut up. No, you shut me up. Shut me up then.
Starting point is 00:30:16 She goes, no, seriously. Shut me up then. She's like, you cannot hit so below the belt, Mary. She's like, you make me shut up. She's like, don't you ever, ever bring up my kids again. Put your finger down, okay? Like how about you, how about that? You just shut up.
Starting point is 00:30:33 She goes, but I am not attacking you as a mom. There could not be anything lower or meaner than that. It's like, well, welcome to Salt Lake City, bitch. And she's like, anyone with a mom shame should be ashamed of themselves. Just like, think of it. I don't know, thesaurus. But anyway, still, don't ever bring up my kids. You know, nothing, Mary. And Lisa's like, this is going a little too far. Okay, it's not going far enough, Mary. But it's just like ready to go. Yeah, we're going a little bit too far. And Mary's
Starting point is 00:31:02 like, well, she's down here telling you to shut up. Okay, you know what, everyone, everyone show her some respect. If you respect me honestly, and Brahman is like, well, I'd like to learn a thing about I'd like to learn something about Brittany that didn't feel unhinged. That's how I feel about Brittany right now. And Brittany's like, wait, what? Say that again. Everything I've learned about you so far feels chaotic. AF. I'm sorry. This is coming for the lady with stacked chairs with neon in them that she paid thousands of dollars for. Dressed like a Rubik's cube. So Bronwyn's like, you're on again, you're off again, you're in a Costco car, you called her poor, you called me a hoarder. So all I know about you is the party and you came in there hot and wild. I'm sorry you did. Hot and wild.
Starting point is 00:31:46 And Heather's like, oh my God, I feel like I've dragged Britney into this. She's like a baby deer in front of all these wolves and she's just not up for the fight. And that's just not warranted. I mean, they don't know her. This feels like she's getting kicked in the teeth. I just hate this.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I hate this. All these vicious people, Lisa, Mary, Mailey. So, Mailey is there too, but I just want to remind everyone, Mailey is there. So, Bronwyn is like, she's like, you know, at a certain place all these words matter and you've got to get in the mix on the words that, on what words mean, okay? Like, get your words right, girl. Okay, like, did you know that YSL spells, you'd say in LeRonde, do you know that? It's like, if you, you know, it's like, could you spell it? I made a joke about it before.
Starting point is 00:32:31 And she goes, and I know you don't like me saying it, but it's true, get your words tight. And then Heather's like, you know why I don't like you saying that? Because if we want to get our words in order, you're gonna need to get your words in order, Missy, because you've been giving everyone a different story. It's like so Heather's gonna go scorched earth on this girl early because she's got
Starting point is 00:32:51 to protect her friend of dun dun dun. Yeah because you know what I went with Whitney and she said you were supportive of her but on our Wendy's drive with Lisa yes bus fast food chain in America yeah when our Wendy's drive with Lisa, yes bus fast food chain in America Yeah, when our Wendy's drive with Lisa you were team fucking Lisa and I have the receipts the proof She's gonna say it 30 times Brawn's like that's not true and Heather like, and you know what you were saying? Horrible things about Whitney. Horrible. And Maylee's like, are you serious, sis?
Starting point is 00:33:31 And Heather goes, yeah. And that made me feel like you were being too faced to Lisa and me and too faced to Whitney. Yeah. And so now they're fighting about this. And then Whitney's like, what did she say about me? And she goes, she was talking about what She was talking about when you said, this is a healed Whitney, and you said you had tears of laughter crying from your eyes. And Bronwyn was like, I said I laughed, okay? I laughed at Angie. And I did tell Whitney that anyway. And so Whitney's like, yeah, if that's all Bronwyn said, she admitted
Starting point is 00:34:02 it to my face. So who cares? Yeah. And then we see her saying, she was laughing and she was like, oh my God, did you practice that in front of a mirror, that whole like, do you want to see the hill Whitney? So she did, that was pretty good. So she was like, I don't think Heather's energy really matches, what happened?
Starting point is 00:34:20 Also, and by the way, Bronwyn has a legitimate reason to not like Brittany. They had a bad interaction and Heather trying Heather having Heather's reasoning for, for not liking Bronwyn is much more tenuous. It's based off of like, I don't know if I like the way she's talking about Whitney right now, even though I don't like it. Like it's, like, it's not concrete in the same way. So like, I think the broad one's allowed to shade Brittany in this case. I think Heather is barking up the wrong tree.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Heather said earlier in the episode that she doesn't like her because she's felt this energy before meaning Monica and they cut to Monica. And she's like, these people who are like insinuating closeness, it's like she's practiced this. She already knows she's gonna come in and start fight. Yeah, like she's basically a fan coming in to start fights. And you know, she's already, she already knows who she's gonna go up against and all that kind of stuff. But I mean, okay, but you're on a TV show at the same time.
Starting point is 00:35:20 You know what I mean? But also like Brittany is the one who's actually acting the most like that. Brittany is the one who clearly seems like she did her homework. She has a game plan of how she wants to come onto the show. She knows exactly what sort of splash she wants to make at a group event. So it's kind of funny that that's Heather's insecurities. And she's friends with Andy Harrington.
Starting point is 00:35:37 I mean, there's no thirstier than that. You know what I mean? And Heather is... I forgot. Heather's got all like the kind of needy, thirsty friends, you know, and the other people bring on the more confident, the more confident friends because this girl's a mess too. This Britney girl. Oh my gosh. Um, where were we here in this silly?
Starting point is 00:35:59 Whitney is kind of shooting down this whole thing. She was like, I didn't get offended. She already told me. And then, uh was saying, Lisa, what is she doing? Is she conflating everything into one convo? And Heather's like, I'm not conflating anything. And when he's like, yeah, but you're being messy and confusing. And so she's basically like, well, we went to lunch. And I left the car thinking everything with you is poisonous, especially about Whitney, especially about Mailey. And then to find out. I was just trying to bring Mailey into it. Mailey was like, what's this? And then to find out. And they cut her off. And Bronwyn's like, wait, did you feel that way, Lisa? And Lisa's like, I think you have a very different way of speaking. Like, I understand the way she
Starting point is 00:36:42 talks. So maybe that's why I'm not thinking that. Like, Heather needs people to be on her side, but they're like, no, I'm team anti, whoever this dumb ass is, who just stood up and gave herself a toast for going to Costco with a guy. Wait a second, this is horrifying. So you left that lunch feeling like she liked Maylee
Starting point is 00:37:01 and Whitney, come on, Maylee, I'm trying to get you into this fight here. Come on, you can dive in, I'm saying your name. That's your cue, go on stage. Okay, you felt like she liked Melee and Whitney. Come on, Melee, I'm trying to get you into this fight here. Come on, you can dive in. I'm saying your name. That's your cue. Go on stage. Okay, you felt like she liked Melee and Whitney and wanted to reach out to them and go to lunch?
Starting point is 00:37:12 No, don't just say sis, Melee. Come on, rise the challenge. You're right, sis. Mm. Sorry to interrupt you, sis. Go ahead. So then she's still trying to make this happen. And she's like, yeah, I mean, one minute you act like you like her and then the next or you don't like her and the next minute you're at the lunch being best friends with Whitney.
Starting point is 00:37:36 And she's like, everyone is entitled to have a change of heart after they hear another side. And Lisa's like, yeah, we can all have change of heart. Okay. And she was, yeah, but can also have change of heart, okay? And she goes, yeah, but like Bronwyn feels so strong about Brittany owning her words. I'm like, own your words then. But you're not saying let's all own our words. You're saying I should own my words and everyone here has said something.
Starting point is 00:37:58 And Bronwyn tells us, I don't understand where Heather is coming from because I was not doing a monologue at an open mic night for Lisa and Heather. so I'm surprised it's being used against me when I don't think anyone disagreed with my opinion. So Lisa's like, that was a communal conversation, it was communal. Yeah she basically, Lisa's like, no Bronwyn was being snarky and she goes, that's what I'm telling her, like stop yelling. She's like, I'm not yelling, that's just the way I talk. That's for Engie's benefit to know that this is the way I talk.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Take me or leave me, I'm not making anymore excuses for me anymore. That's just the way I talk that's for Angie Angie's benefit to know that this is the way I talk take me alive man I'm not making anymore excuses for me anymore. And then Ron wins. No, she's like, I'm not yelling Oh, no, she goes it was a communication Bronwyn you were snarky like and she says yeah, but that's what I'm telling her Stop yelling. I'm not yelling. It's the way I talk Despite knowing Lisa for seven or eight years now, I'm just like so surprised that she has nothing to say to defend me. Classic, by the way. Classic, classic. Friend gets brought on, does not get defended the way she wants to be, or vice versa. Maybe the person who brought her on does not feel she's being defended. And then now they are going to turn on each other. It's just,
Starting point is 00:39:01 it's a tale as old as time. So then Whitney, of course, senses that she's not winning yet. So she's like, at a basic human level, it's almost being vulnerable and telling you about their, done, done, wait for it. Trauma, do not weaponize it to hurt them. Ow, trauma, ow. No one is weaponizing it. But we need to do better about trauma.
Starting point is 00:39:23 You guys steamrolled me, trauma. No, we did not steamroll you trauma. You guys steamrolled me. Trauma. No, no we did not steamroll you. We did not steamroll you. We're not going to use the word steamroll because you know what steamrolling is? Going on a podcast and talking about your fucking friends when they can't defend themselves. That's a steamroll and I haven't done anything to you. Okay?
Starting point is 00:39:41 Do not say the S word. Yeah, but I'm sorry to hurt you because that wasn't my intention but I was provoked oh you do talk feelings and start talking in fact and then we can have a good conversation the fact is you've been a you've been a shitty friend oh you're a shitty friend you're a shitty friend we're all your calls you are all your messages Where's the sky riding you you're you're shittier. Don't talk over. No, it's dramatic No, I will talk over you cuz I'm gonna steamroll you want to see a steamroll. I'll show you steamroll Me I interject here, okay As a future about mitzvah, okay, that means I'm still a little girl
Starting point is 00:40:22 I'm not an adult yet. So a little girl is here to talk. I would like to say something on this topic. Um, okay, go for it. I feel the same. You're a shitty friend! You're a shitty friend! No, I'm gonna talk. Steamroll, I'm gonna steamroll. Don't you dare say steamroll because no one here steamrolls. Okay Meredith, sorry, I'm gonna talk over you. You bonded with them over your hatred of me and you're getting busted, Whitney. Oh, and she's like, well, I'm clear. I just, I'm sorry I talked about you on the podcast then.
Starting point is 00:40:50 She's like, thank you, Whitney. Thank you, Whitney. Okay, I appreciate the apology, but it doesn't take away from the fact that we saw the shows. Would I also like an apology from Whitney? Of course. Is it surprising that I'm not getting one right now?
Starting point is 00:41:07 No, not at all. I guess bath bomb Steelers will never apologize The southern Whitney is like I think everyone at this table is amazing and I'm glad today happened Cuz I felt like there's still a lot of things that need to be resolved But I'm now comfortable to invite you all to the glamorous town in Milwaukee. They're like, wow. Like in the middle of the fight and she's like, guys, while we're here fighting, it made me realize we really shall be a go on a group trip together.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Trixie. I have an announcement. I was really nervous to come here today, but I just wanted to say you guys, Whitney and I, we liked each other when we first saw each other. Guys, Whitney has just asked me to marry her. Thank you, thank you Whitney. Now I just want you to come to Milwaukee with me because Trixie booked me to host a drag night at her event in Milwaukee.
Starting point is 00:42:04 And everyone's like, oh, great, Milwaukee. And Mary goes, can I say this? That's where my dad's from. Well, she basically is saying her dad's from Milwaukee, which means we'll probably have a scene of her going to his house. And so Whitney is like, I would love for all of you just to come on my girls' trip to be together
Starting point is 00:42:21 and continue the bonding that we've had, like we just had right now in this discussion. I booked a private jet. It's called Southwest. Well, I'm not sure if I can make it, but we'll discuss that later. It's not that I don't want to go to Milwaukee. I mean, who wouldn't want to go to Milwaukee in the middle of winter?
Starting point is 00:42:48 But I do have a batman's foot to prepare for. It's not that I don't necessarily want to go to Milwaukee. It's just I don't want to go with Whitney. Oh gosh. So then Heather's like, I might not be going. And when he's like, good, I hope you don't. So she says, if these bitches can't get themselves together for two days, then we have way bigger problems than that.
Starting point is 00:43:11 And she's like, I'll see you in Milwaukee, bitch. And that's the end of the episode, which was hilarious. I mean, this show just works. It just goes, it's just so funny and so good. Love having SLC back. Love this double Mormon lifestyle. We're living between this and the secret, secret lives and Mormon wives. Thanks everyone for listening. And we do recap that show too.
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