Watch What Crappens - #2572 Free Bonus Interview with THE Countess Luann! Plus, RHONY Taglines

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

This week’s bonus episode is a doozy.  First we have iconic Housewife/cabaret star Countess Luann De Lesseps here on Crappens for the very first time!  Ben is starstruck.  Be sure to check out Lu’s tour at coutnessluann.com.  Next, we’re doing a trailer trash on the new RHONY taglines.  Be sure to watch with Crappens on Demand so you can see what we’re talking about, not just hear!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcher crap and ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. And Away We Go with Georgia King is a brand new travel podcast only on Wondry Plus. Each week, celebrity tour guides will whisk you away to their favorite places in the world with intimate, hilarious, heartwarming conversations that remind us of the power of travel to bring us together. Listen to And Away We Go with Georgia King exclusively with Wondery+. Guess what happens with this so much that happens.

Hello, welcome to Ultra Crappins and our bonus episode. I'm Ben and that's Ronnie. If you're listening, that means you support us on Patreon. So thank you very much for that. What's going on with you today, Ronnie? I'm doing great, great. It's an exciting day. And by the way, you not only you might not support us on Patreon. We don't know yet because this is a bonus episode, but it's also a free bonus episode. We're going to have it out there for all of you to listen to. So go support us on Patreon because we've got more stuff like this. Yeah, exactly. So we um, we have a really fun Rooney themed episode bonus episode for you guys today. And

so it's sort of like a, it's like a double header of content. The first half, we are interviewing the one the only the iconic, my number one favorite Real Housewife of all time Countess Luan double steps, who's going on tour again, by the way, so everyone go to countessluan.com and get your tickets for that. So we're going to interview Countess Luan Dolecepts, who's going on tour again, by the way, so everyone go to countessluan.com and get your tickets for that. So we're going to interview Countess Luan. And then after that interview is done, we also did a what was going to be a bonus episode of the taglines for the new Rony.

And we decided just to put the two together and make one really fun Rony themed episode. So that's really it. So we're going to start with the Countess Luanne interview. Then we're going to go and do like a trailer trash of the Roni taglines. Hope you enjoy. Let's start it. I don't know why I'm being so strange. I've done this for 12 years. Well hello, Lou. What a pleasure to have you here. Thank you. Thank you.

How are you guys doing? Good. Where are you right now? Where are you right now? I'm traveling in a very secret location working on a show for Bravo. Oh, okay. Fabulous. Are you dating strangers on this show?

Well, it has something to do with dating, but I think it's been out there so I can say it right, Marissa, or I don't know if she's there. But she can say it. It's in the news. We have it in the news. I mean, it's not in the news that you're doing it right now and that you're dating Jeff Bezos. I mean, that's that part's still secret. Yeah, exactly.

That would be fun when I'm not, you know, I have this thing going on with Elon Musk, you know, base those, you know, yeah, all the, you know, Zuckerberg, gonna fly in for Zuckerberg. I'm jumping, you know, I'm just you're really into guys who are who are into workers rights. Well, I'm in the guys period. Yes. That's not moral. Candice Luanne, I personally am very, very excited. Well, you both are excited, but I am personally very, very excited because I'm going to shamelessly say this. You have been my number one housewife for many years running like years and

years and years running. So this is like very exciting for me. I want to show you something. I even have a tote bag. I have a tote bag that I got. Remember this one money can't buy you class. Oh, yeah. And I bring this to the supermarket all the time. And it's like a signal. It's like who else out there watches Bravo, you know, and every now and then I get a hit. So a lot of friends with that bag, right? Yeah, tons, tons of friends. So it's really exciting to have you here on the podcast. Thank you. So how's it been going tour wise?

Are you on break with tour? Obviously, because you're shooting something. So when do you start touring again? I actually start back up October 10th. I'll be in Charleston, South Carolina. I've never been to Charleston. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I'm gonna see all my peeps in Charleston,

which are the Southern Charm people and Southern hospitality. So I'm excited to go to Charleston for the first time I've ever been. And then I'm going to be on October 12, I'll be at the Well Mountain, New Jersey. And then I'm going where am I going? Oh, to the Paramount in Long Island, my, my home, right? And then I have a lot of other dates on my calendar, and I'm excited to be back out,

back on the road with Mary F. Kille. How much do you love that song? I know, well, I mean, it's great, of course. I mean, it's so funny, I never would have thought, when you first did Money Can't Buy You Class, when you first did that, it seemed like it was like this funny, like, one- one off, like isn't this, oh, here's like a storyline for Countess Luanne

on the show. I never would have thought that all these years later it would have actually resulted in an actual cabaret tour. I mean, I didn't even know cabaret tours were like a thing, but like you've actually really made it a thing. It's wild. Well, you know, it is wild because I didn't start with, I called the Countess and Friends because it was like a variety show because I grew up with variety, you know I was watching Carol Burnett and you know, these guys the gong show remember all these great shows and

So I was like, you know I want to do something like that variety and you know It kind of morphed into cabaret and how I really started cabaret was a friend of mine said to me You know the man you of morphed into Cabaret and how I really started. Cabaret was a friend of mine said to me, you know, Luanne, you love to host dinner parties. You love to sing for your friends. And you and you love telling jokes and telling stories. And he said, you know, you should be a Cabaret star. And I was like, oh, I never even thought about that.

You know, I like to say I'm a host. I love to sing for my friends. And I love telling jokes. Well, that's that's what I'm doing. I'm singing host, I love to sing for my friends, and I love telling jokes. Well, that's what I'm doing. I'm singing for my friends. Now, you know, my fans inspire me all day long, you know, and my life does. You know, like The Housewives, you know, Money Get By You, Class, and Sheik, C'est La Vie, and Feelin' Joe Bonny, and Viva La Diva, and my Christmas song where I included all the

ladies, and most recently Mary F. Kill and I'm sure I'm missing a song or two because I've done so many now at this point but I just love it and I can't believe that it turned into a live nation tour. You know my director Richard J. Alexander comes to my show, the first one in New York, you know listen I fell from grace and I rose like a phoenix to the cabaret stage and was not easy. It was scary as hell. You can curse, you can curse. It's okay. It's a safe space. I was gonna say scary as shit, because it was. And he came to my show and he goes countess.

First of all, I came here not and this is the director of Kristin Chenoweth, and Barbra Streisand, right? So I'm like, so he comes to me and goes, Countess, I was not expecting very much from you, but you fucking blew my mind. First of all, you can sing, you're funny, and you wear a dress like no woman I've ever seen. You're gonna be a big star. And you know what, you found me the right agent,

Rich Super, at Gersh, and he built my career. And, you know, and itersh, and he built my career. And, you know, um, and it's been such an amazing ride. What I love about cabaret is that I get to do what I want to do. I get to be creative. I take songs like, for example, cabaret, right? Life is the cabaret, my friends come to my cabaret Put down your laptops your iPads and phones time for a holiday Right, so I take classic music and I know gosh you updated cabaret. Don't tell me you took out the Nazism

I'm like, my friends. Yeah. Of course, gotta be my friends. Money can't buy your class, my friends. Yeah. And the kids just learned. So I take music like that and I turn it around. I have fun with it. You know, I said to my director, I said, I want to do, you know, Eric Clapton, oh, lay down Sally. And I'm doing a holiday.

I'm doing a holiday show. He goes, lay down Sally for a holiday? I said, yes, but it's now, lay down Santa. Because all that trouble to come down the chimney, doesn't he? But why doesn't he lay down and stay with me a while? So I take music like that and I have fun with it. It's really exciting. Have you made some friends with any old cabaret stars?

Like, I mean- I knew Cheetah. I got to see Cheetah Rivera at her last show, 54 Below, which is where I got my start. So, yeah. Wow. I mean, I've been with Liza. You know, I did a benefit for Broadway Cares with Liza Minnelli, Cheetah Rivera, and Lucy Arnaz.

Lucy Arnaz, wow. That's when I met Billy Stritch, who was my musical director in the very beginning. Yeah, that's crazy. Do you have, if you were like, do you have like a dream Broadway show that you could be cast in? Like if someone said we're doing, hey Luanne, we're doing a Countess Luanne, we're doing a revival countess Luanne, we're doing a revival and we want you to be the star in it, what would be your dream? You know what? Why don't we revive the housewives of New York City and do a Broadway. Oh hey, you know I would be the first one to watch that for sure. If someone just put some music to

classic Rooney, that I would be down for that. What do you get some- Are you still in contact with all the girls? Yes, I see them all the time. I saw Ramona at a party in the Hamptons. I had a party actually and I invited her and she was thrilled, you know, because I had some pretty cool people there. And then, you know, Dorinda and I talk all the time.

Sonya, I don't see as much because she's doing her own thing on the road. But Dee and I are really close. Kelly and I, yeah, I see the girls all the time. Mm-hmm. What about Jill? Are you still close with Jill's, Erin? Oh, sure, no, absolutely.

Jill's daughter just got engaged, so that's exciting. Mm-hmm. And I was- Were you at Bethany's L'Oreal runway show? I do. I miss that darling. What do you mean? What do you? What do you think about? What do you think about Bethany's whole reality reckoning thing that she's been trying to get going? Yeah, trying to get going is a good is a good line.

Listen, you know, I understand that she wants to get residuals for reality stars. I don't think she's wrong about that. So that I agree upon. But you know, you don't burn down the house in the meantime. Do you know what I mean? And it's the house I built with Andy Cohen that we built. Right? Yes.

Bethany came along because Jill brought her along. This would happen to Jill. Yeah. Well, do you think- Mary as Kill. Right? She got buried. She got buried. Bethany was kind of a renter, I guess,

in the whole scheme of things. She wasn't there that, she wasn't there as long really, if you add up all the years. No, no, she was not. But well, she came into the first season she did as a friend of Jill's and she had to never penny. So good for her. She made it. Yeah, well, she does now that's for sure. I often say I often say by the way that like in the whole

feud between Jill and Bethany when that first aired, a lot of people took Bethany's side in that I think even I took Bethany aside and Jill sort of came out of it looking like, oh, she was jealous of Bethany's success. But I think that now, my new thing is I think when you look back on that feud now with hindsight and seeing really how things have developed, I think it's not as clear cut as that at all anymore.

I think looking back, it's like, oh, you know what? Like, I think we've seen now a truer version of Bethany. And now that has totally changed my view of that entire feud back then. Exactly. Exactly. Well, you know, listen, we had a great show. It was such a great run. There's no show like New York City Housewives. I mean, I love all the housewives, but New York is its own entity. You know, New York City, the most fabulous city in the world got to be our playground. And I'm so grateful for it because I've learned so much, I've grown so much over the years, I've changed, I've hit rock bottom, I climbed like a phoenix from the ashes to the caper race stage, and I'm grateful for all of it.

People say, what would you regret? I don't really regret anything because it led me to where I am today. So, so it's been incredible. I'm, you know, I'm still working for the network and, you know, Crappy Lake was so much fun for me to do with Sonia. You know, I'm enjoying doing other things now

and I'm enjoying my cabaret touring, because I really do love what I do. I created Mary F. Kill because of my fans. They really asked me every single show, literally, because I do Q&A with my audience, and they would ask me, okay, how does Mary F. Kill? And after six years of hearing this, I said, that is the song, that's the song.

And I went to maryfkill.com and nobody had it. I said, that is the song. That's the song. And I went to Mary F kill dot com and nobody had it. I said done. Have you guys talked about doing another season of Crappy Lake? How did that just disappear? I thought for sure that would be. Well, it was it was so successful that Paris and Nicole Ritchie saw it. And guess what they're doing? Simple Life is back. Well, it doesn't mean you guys should, I still think you guys should do it another season.

That show is really good. Totally different. Listen, Paris and Nicole are Paris and Nicole. Sonia Rita and Lou, that's a whole other bag of tricks. Yeah, well, you know what? You can still do it just because they're doing it. It's not called a simple life or anything. I mean, you just have like a good relationship. Like your relationship feels so real. It's very similar. The premise is very similar.

So, you know, I think that's part of the problem. And I think also, you know, it's hard to find a town like Benton, you know, Illinois where we filmed, it was so personal for our producer because his family was from Benton. That's how we really started doing Crappy Lake because it was personal for him.

And listen, I agree. I mean, we should totally do another season of our show. Crappy Lake, if it's not Crappy Lake, it's somewhere else. That people really do need our help. I mean, we really did a lot of amazing work. We love the towns of people. And, you know, Sonia and I come from small towns. You know, our lives have changed a lot since then, but we're simple girls at heart.

And, you know, the motel, for example, they built a whole new wing and they are sold out through next year. The Sonia and Luann suite, everybody goes to stay. We did murals, we did new signage for the, when you entered into town, welcome to Crappy Lake. We helped with the dog shelter, we helped build a playground for children. We did a lot, and I put on a whole variety show with Sonia. So we really had a blast and we have so much to give, you

know, as women who have, you know, who have, um, who have a great amount of experience, let's put it that way. Would you do Roni legacy again? And like if you did another season of that, would you like switch up some of the people that would be on the on the trip? Well, I mean, it's so obvious just meld the two casts keep the winners from each team That's a great idea what I'm a was the new that in the beginning yeah Younger crap. I'm like younger Jenna Lyons. How old is Jenna Lyons? She's 50 in her 50s Right, so it's like okay. Anyway, that's my thought they should, you know, either that or send the og housewives everywhere. Let's start with below deck. Don't you want to see Ramona on below deck?

Like literally, it would be my dream. I thought Jill's Aaron looking for hangers. harassing the staff. I thought when Joe's Aaron was on the boat, it was amazing. I got Jill Zarin, Ramona, myself. When Ramona's on a boat, she's Ramona on a boat is like extra. We need another scary island. Do you have FOMO that you were not on the actual original scary island or do you feel like you missed a bullet, dodged a bullet? Well, you know, I wish I'd been there for Kelly, but the point is that it wouldn't be a scary island if I was there. I would have not let those girls pick on her until the point where she couldn't take it anymore, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's interesting to watch her kind of go back into the same circle that she was, like when we were watching the legacy vacation trip, we just did kind of a rewatch of that and to watch her kind of go back into it, but everybody had the education

of going through scary islands. So they knew how, they were like better equipped to deal with it. It was like, okay, Kelly, okay. She's like, just talk her through it. You know, okay, Kelly, we got it, we got it. Yeah, you know, you can Kelly, we got it. We got it. Yeah, you know, um, You can't change the leopard spots, right?

But uh, you know, I um, I think that you know as a cast there's so much we could do In terms of of you know taking over The world let's see us go somewhere You know, let's go dancing and I don't know. Let's go dancing in Buenos Aires They seem to be Before I came here anyway, I was in Love it be that it's so beautiful

Well, they don't have you guys on their mind because they've got you doing the dating show. They've got Dorinda's new show coming up What's the other one they've got with you the dating show, they've got Dorinda's new show coming up. What's the other one they've got with you guys in the works? But I think there's another one I've got here somewhere in my notes that are completely illegible. So it seems like they've still got you on your on their mind, you know, Bravo seems to be doing this thing where they do like a two year cancel and then they uncancelled people. It's like, all right, here's Jack's new show, you know, Jack's new show, or here's whoever's new show. So you never know.

You never know. Candace Luan, what does it take in your estimation? Let's see what happens. What does it take to be like a great housewife? I mean, you were on Roni for what how many seasons was it 13 seasons or so, like some people can only last one season. What do you think? What does it take to be like a long lasting housewife? And like, what are some lessons that maybe the new cast could take like learn from from you

guys? You know, it's interesting, because I saw Aaron and just jizzle at an event that Brynn was hosting in New York and they invited me which is very kind Brynn invited me and and they're like how did you do it for so long and your storylines were so incredible I said you know what it was my life it was my real life this is you know I mean I just yeah our lives are pretty full, you know, Dorinda, Ramona, myself, Sonia, you know,

well, I forgot Bethany, you know, our lives are really full of just the things that we were doing. Well, it's funny because people refer to it as storyline, but that's what you were doing, you know? Yes. You weren't writing it. You know, I was, you know,

I was going through a rough marriage. I was, then I got divorced, then I, you know, then I got married again. Then I was flirting with a pirate. Then, you know, I fell into a bush and then, and then I got caught with a guy. So be cool. Don't be like all uncool.

And you, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes. Yeah. It just came naturally to all of us, really. It was just, you know, it was cosmic timing, cosmic timing, great cast, interesting people. And, you know, you can't make that shit up. You can't. And you guys also have such a good, honest rapport with each other. Like, I think you guys also all hold each other accountable. Like, no one lets anyone get away with any BS.

And I don't feel like you guys are like, don't you guys don't seem like you produce yourselves that much. You just are like, this is who I am. And like, I'm gonna just say it. Yeah. If remote is acting crazy, you're gonna call her out. Yeah, of course. And you know, the why New York works so well, and I think of any franchise is this. We are actually friends. We knew each other before. So we have old friendships. Like I've known Sonia for years.

Um, Dorinda, I feel like I've known forever. Um, she's my kind of girl and, you know, Kelly, I've known since before the housewives, I've known, you know, Ramona, uh, Sonia, um, Jill, Jill, I met, you know, Kelly, I've known since before the Housewives, I've known, you know, Ramona, Sonia, Jill, Jill, I met, you know, actually, Jill is the one who got me on the Housewives. I met her at a party. I met her at a party. She goes, you know, I'm working on this TV show. I think you'd be great for blah, blah, blah. And, and that's how I got the show was with Jill. So, you know, we have friendships. We play tennis together.

You know, we love to travel. We have children around the same age. You know, I was teaching Victoria how to drive. Remember the driving lessons in the parking lot? Yeah. Yes, of course. Did you make friends with any of the newer people that left or got fired along the way. Like, does anybody still talk to

Leah, for example? Leah has a lot of drama still with the network. Is anybody in contact with her? Well, I don't think so. I'm friendly with Leah. You know, she'll text me and ask me how I'm doing, etc. So yeah, I don't, you know, Leah has her own life and, you know, we're in different lanes right now. You know, I'm in a different lane than she is and you know, but I only wish her the best and, and all the housewives who have come and gone because there's been quite a few

as there. I'm like, what happened to Jules? He just had a few little baby. Ebony just had her little baby Liberty. So yeah, she lives in Miami though. So, you know, she's not in New York any longer. So. Well, she could pull the Tinsley. She could.

Fly up. Tinsley. Look, I love for Tinsley. She really landed on her feet. I mean, she found a fantastic guy. She has Insta family, which is just perfect for her. I'm so happy for that girl, really. Yeah, yeah, me too.

She looks to be so happy. Yeah, I'm sure it for that girl. Really. Yeah. Yeah, me too. She looks to be so happy Yes, it was fantastic talking to you Everybody go grab your tickets October 10th Charleston music hall October 12th the Wellmont theater of Montclair, New Jersey October 13th at the Paramount in Huntington November 15th at Sony Hall in New York City and I know I think Sony Hall sold out. They have to add another shit out. Wow. But you guys are welcome. I keep a couple tickets for you boys. Likewise, tickets are at countless luann.com by the way everyone and this has been you know, I'm just so I'm I'm felling because you know, my number one, my number one favorite housewife here on crap and finally happened.

Thanks. I appreciate that. I love you boys. Okay. Yeah, of course. Yeah, we'll be back. Mary, love you Lou. Yes.

Sheik, I love you. Say, I would marry. They give me such a thrill. Love you guys. Love you. Love you too. It's time to say goodbye. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I would marry they give me such a thrill. Love you guys. Love you. Love you too. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap ens commercial.

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Love Countess Luanne. Thank you for coming on to our show. Yeah, that was fun. That was cool to get to talk to her. And now let's move into the second part of our show, which is the Real Housewives of New York tagline for season two. Hello, and welcome to the Watcher Crappin's bonus episode. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie, and if you're listening or watching this, this means that you support us. So thank you very much for doing that. How are you doing today, Ronnie? Good. I'm excited because it's a new Housewives Taglines Day. It's always a big day.

We have Rony, the premier is right around the corner and they just released the taglines today this morning and so we thought we would just play through them. We have not heard them and we're going to give sort of reactions and talk and commentary and maybe discuss what we're seeing on screen as well. So this is crappens on demand as well. And if you are watching with the video, you can see what we're looking at. It's sort of this will be sort of like a trailer trash. And yeah, we're just gonna get into it. So shall we shall we dive in? Ronnie? Now we got this clip from hoda and what's your buns? And who's not Kathy Lee? I don't care. Everybody tells me she's nice. But her Jenna was her dad.'s nice, but her Jenna.

Was her dad George is George her dad? Yeah, George Bush. Not forgiven. Junior. Oh, but I'm sure she's great. So we're on. We got this from Hoda and Hoda and Jenna and Hoda's leading. Did you know Hoda is not know? Is that why Danny posted a clip of Hoda crying to Danny Pellegrino is probably fucking in the fetal position right now somewhere, which is a box of Franzia going back and forth, rocking back and forth, wondering why. Why would the world do this to him? You know, Hoda is leaving because of massive sexual harassment charges and really just being mean to Stan.

Just kidding. I thought like she was receiving sexual harassment. You know how sometimes we get just so tired. Oh no, no, no, no. She's giving it. She's the monster is what I'm saying. I mean, look at her, Hoda, fucking monster. You know how sometimes we finish a show and we literally have to take it out

because we laugh so much at ourselves? I think that's where Hoda is. Someone who laughs all day. I think Hoda's just probably tired of laughing. That's my guess because she literally she'll be like, there's a pile up on the freeway. I just had wine. So I'm guessing that's it. But I don't know she didn't say. Wow. Hoda. Okay. Well, you know what? Good. You know, good for you, Hoda. You carved out a niche for yourself going up against the view and you made it work. So, yeah, you did great. You did great. This world a lot.

Okay. Good luck to you wherever you end up. Hopefully it's in a chair somewhere, you know, just sitting there and relaxing. Cause rocking on a porch. It could get up at three in the morning every day for years on end. So, you know, congrats to you. Congrats. Um, and one reason why we really have to bring this up is because the video that we have on screen where it starts is a spectral vision of Hoda over the New York City skyline,

as well as Jenna. They both look like they're actually stooze on below deck. Yes, because they were fading out on them and fading into New York City skyline, as well as Jenna. They both look like they're actually stews on below deck. Uh, yes. Because they were fading out on them, and fading into New York, so it's like, even in this, we're already fading out on Hoda. Like, can we let the woman retire? I mean, what are you already fading her out?

I know. Okay, let me move this bar down here to get it out of the way. Okay, so we're gonna press play, and, um, first, we'll hear what the first line is. Why did their dad when you can just be mother in the car? OK, Brin starts it off. Brin starts it off. Why just date their dad? OK, because she's calling back last season's tagline.

Was last season's tagline good enough to get called back already in season two? Yeah, I like it barely made sense last season was like, don't get me mad or I'll date your dad. And I'm like, that one was like, it was funny at when it came out, everyone was like, oh, my God, that's amazing. And everyone thought she's gonna be like a Sonia Morgan. But there was it had, she like literally never... did anything with that line.

Like, she never hit on anyone's dad, right? I think she said... No, and I thought it was funny. I did think it was, I was one of the ones who was like, oh my God, she's gonna be so good! Because I loved that line. And then, um, the fact that she got mad as the season went on, that people were suggesting that she would be a trophy wife,

I was like, well, what's your tagline? You know, like, I don't know. You can't, you can't put yourself out like as this fun person and then be not fun. A couple other things. You don't get to call your own lines iconic. And by bringing it back, you're doing that and you don't get to call yourself mother. Who does that? You're like weather baiting. Like you can't just title yourself mother. That is for the gays. Also, you have to be more mother to be mother, right? Like she didn't really know when he calls himself mother is mother. She didn't really do anything fabulous.

I mean, I know there are people that really love Brynn and, you know, she has a health learning thing where she's like, oh, hang on. I'm like horny right now. But she didn't do anything that was truly mother, if you ask me. I mean, I like her. I'm looking forward to her second season. We're just off to a bad start with giving yourself the mother.

You can't do that. Yeah, and we see her right now. She's standing in a feathery kind of dress, and she's floating amongst the buildings of Midtown Manhattan. She's like, look at me. I'm standing amongst lawyers. There's so many lawyers below me right now. Look at me. I'm looking up in awe at the big buildings because we're in New York. These are the pictures ahead of us are her just looking up like, wow, those buildings are tall. They're tall. I'm going to like wave my left arm.

buildings are tall. You're tall. I'm gonna like wave my left arm. Go a little further. Or wait, maybe it's a little yet. No, go a little back. Go back a couple frames. Here I am. Looking up both sides of the screen or her just like, well, those buildings are big. Wow. Walking a sidewalk. It's like a lot. OK, so that's Brin.

Her dress, we have we know some gays, but I think we all know some gays who are like really into this like natural body hair movement, because for a long time, the gays were just all about waxing. And now they're like, No, I have hairy arms, I'm gonna wear a tank top. And that's what Brynn is giving me with this dress. Full on like, gay, gay hair. I'm into it. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna press play. We're gonna hear the next one.

When you can just be mother in the cocktail of life, a New Yorker is never shaken nor stirred. What is that supposed to mean? Aaron, since when is Aaron like associated with cocktails? In the cocktail of life, okay, okay, Carrie Bradshaw, a New Yorker is never supposed to be shaken or stirred. No, but I'll tell you what a cocktail can be sent back. Weak and dry. So yeah, not the best looks great. And then we see let's see what we're seeing here. We're seeing Abe the bad. And

then yeah, she's walking through a street with very big glasses. Yeah, she's like, well, you have a meatpacking district and Abe is like, I really resent that those crap and guys called me Daniel Webster. So I'm going to show that I'm hip and modern with a white blazer and a white T-shirt. Daniel Webster could never. He's like Angelic Miami Vice.

Yeah, I guess their thing is white this year. It's like a big white theme this year. Okay, let's see. I don't just mean the marriage. I mean the show. Look, here she is. She's sitting. Erin is like sitting on a tennis court in her tennis outfit being like, yeah, do you

know how hard it was for me growing up watching Gwyneth and Brad sign leases for apartments? It's a hard life being me. I'm either shaking or start. Don't shake me or start me. I'm either shaking or start. I don't shake me or stormy can't do it. I think if this show is really ready for season two, her conline would have just been cackling hags. She look at her she got some sort of like embellishment behind her. She gets some sort of like design like that like, okay,

Erin is really boring. So can we just put some like pizzazz on the screen? Should we do some shapes like we don't do shapes on housewives interest? I said get me some shapes for Erin. We need to make her look exciting. Yeah, they're giving her a lot of the like make your own card on Instagram. Like those things like can someone put a cap cut filter on her please put the diamond diamond cap cut filter on her. There we go. Now she's exciting. She is giving a lot more like, look, I'm Aaron, I'm positive and fun. Like she's got a lot of like smiley. Look, I'm just a smiley girl on a tennis court. Look, I'm laughing with my mouth up and like Julia Roberts. Look, look, I'm standing by a bridge, which shows that I'm going to build relationships to outer boroughs. That's exciting.

Anything cocktail on life? I haven't either shaken nor stirred. Okay, yeah, it looks like we have a new person coming up. Here we go. Just like a painting, you need a couple of looks to figure me out. Wait, so she's, well, it's a couple of looks to figure me out. Wait, so she's... Well, it's a play on words, right? So she's saying, like, I need to have decent outfits to look at her?

What is she saying? Just like a painting, you need to have a couple of looks to figure me out. It's like... But usually paintings aren't like that. Actually, I mean, is she talking about one of those like squiggly paintings that you look at and then said, like a 3D banana parfait? Just just like a magic eye painting from 1997, you need to cross your eyes in order to see me as a peace sign. What's her name? Do you know her display? Hell, let me like. Raquel, OK, let me curse it name on Bravo by the way.

Hello, the Bravo just never learns it's lesson. It's like hey, you know what we should do? Hire Raquel. You need a couple of looks to figure me out. This is a real stretch of a line just like a painting. So I think she works in the art world. Just like a painting, you need a couple of looks to but to to figure out what I'm doing. I guess she's saying she likes fashion. So she always has a different look. I can see that being an errand

storyline like once the deal with her account, she like always has a different look like what's your luck? Yeah, um, I don't know. but, you know, she loves clothes. So, she loves clothes and looking at art. So, I don't know. You go, girl. But she's another queer lady, which is crazy, that we've got two on one show. So, you go New York.

Oh! Better in that way. We love multiple gays. What do you think about that? Multiple power lesbians. and we know that she's powerful because she actually gets the Empire State Building in her background as opposed to like as opposed to a non Brooklyn Bridge bridge that Erin gets. I don't know what bridge she had anything that's like anything

that's not the Brooklyn Bridge all looks the same to me like the 57th Street Bridge or the is that even a bridge that is Bridgest I'll be Bridgest I'll say it I mean what is it the Arizona narrow that's gonna be the name of your autobiography what is she the Willis Avenue Bridge Triboro oh we the London Bridge the the the the the

the the out. I may be hungry, but at least I'm not thirsty. That was pretty good. Honestly, that was good to me. No, really hungry. Okay, I'm not gonna take it away from me then. But it was at least her like plan words mates like that was a nice like that was like yes, the hungry thing is annoying. But like that was his quick it was to the point. It was not like like a good painting. I need you need a few looks to figure me out or like in the cocktail of life of the cocktail of well, Aaron definitely wins worst so far.

And the painter lady, I mean, OK, the painting. Look at me twice or whatever. I get it because I grew up with those Jesus woodworks where you had to like stare at the shape of the wood until you saw the word Jesus written in it. It looks like a block maze. And so I get that. Like I get what she means. Oh my God. She is Jesus. That's so weird. I was just staring at her. So anyway, um, the thing with the size thing is she was, it's not like the audience was like, oh my God, it's so funny that size always hungry. Right? Let's make fun of the fact that size always hungry or like let's tease Sai about it. It's that Sai made it that audience was like, oh my God, it's so funny that Sai is always hungry, right? Let's make fun of the fact that Sai's always hungry. Or like, let's tease Sai about it.

It's that Sai made it that. It was like her, she tried so hard to make that her character thing. And it was the most annoying thing of the whole season. Sai going, you know what? I'm hungry, I just need to eat. It was the most, in a long list of shit that got annoying, that was the most.

So the first thing you hear is, I may be hungry. I was like, Oh no, less than I agree. I agree. The last thing we want to hear is the hungry thing. But just in terms of wordplay, I'm going to give it to her for like, at least I'm not thirsty, but by the way, you are thirsty. You're an influencer. We're literally an influencer and a reality star, so please. They also put side out by the bridge. They're like you too. We're also not going to give you the Brooklyn Bridge. We have to go that is Brooklyn. That is that's Dumbo right behind her, isn't it?

But but you can see by the you can see this this this area here. That's definitely not the Brooklyn Bridge just by the iron like the lattice like the Brooklyn Bridge Obviously is not this part here. It might be Dumbo I'm just saying I don't think this is the Brooklyn Bridge. I'm just saying guys. Okay, stop attacking. Well What's the other bridge? I Am a bit the same bridge. Let me let's look let's look hold on You know look we go back to Aaron's Bridge. I don't even know. I used to live in Brooklyn.

I don't even know. The Brooklyn Bridge is where Dumbo is. Wait, no, there's another bridge. They put Aaron inside the same bridge. They're like, you guys go stand over by the pier. Well, there's the Manhattan Bridge. Maybe that's where it is. Yeah, so I'll say my visual awareness of like,

like I know the George Washington Bridge, the Throgs Neck and Whitestone. It's like a Sister Madden bridge. Okay, okay everybody. So, okay. People at home are like, why? Okay, so let's go, let's go past Sai. Yeah. Okay. I'm not up and coming.

I am already there. I'm not up and coming. I am already there. Okay, so she's got her up and coming line. Oh, wow, try Becca. It's so up and coming. I'm not up and coming. But do put me next to a taxi. Thank you very much. They put her in like a dingy street with a taxi going by. Yeah. They even showed just a little like footage of her walking around. Oh, yeah, they do. Nevermind. Here's shots of her. One is Jessel wearing some sort of like denim top denim vest, but also with like readers

on. Uh huh. She's wearing one of those giant flower dresses in the scene before. Oh my gosh. And her husband came. Povit came all fashionable this year and those. Oh wait, I didn't see this one. Oh yeah, there's Povit came all. Uh, fashionable this year and those. Oh wait, I didn't see this one. Oh yeah, there's Povit.

Oh yeah, yeah, look at them. Him with like a nice jacket is like an Ellie Tahari jacket. I'm gonna guess I only guess that because that's the only designer I could think of. Um, Jessel has new teeth, so those are, those are here for us. Those are, they've arrived as well. the Yeah, go ahead. I am already there. Okay, now we're gonna get UBA. Okay. I'm sure whatever it is, it's gonna be extremely wacky.

And we're gonna think it's hilarious. Love looks good on me, but does what doesn't. Well, I mean, your outfit's pretty stupid. One thing, but in your defense, it does look damn good on you because you're fucking stunning. I mean, what are you gonna, I think her outfit's kind of dumb.

It looks like she's wearing a sarong over like a dance costume. I don't know what it is, but goddamn, she still is beautiful. That's not fair. What if I just showed up in a bathing suit in a sarong to do my intro? No one would let me do that.

This has been privilege. I hope you enjoy it. She does look great as usual. You know, her legs, leading with her legs. I'm glad she didn't do like an uber hot joke, right? Like that's what I thought it was gonna be. Darling, in a city that can be so cold, at least I know I'm uber hot, you know?

Yeah, that's true. She could have done that. I wish she'd just came in with a can of chickpeas that she took out of a pantry in a restaurant. And just said, wacky, wacky, wacky. Yeah, cause I like sense of humor, you know? And I think sometimes that's what these people lack. And you know, I've seen her in the comment sections fighting with people

where people are like, bring back the original. She's like, oh, really? You want the originals? Just marry them already or whatever. Trying to come back with all these sassy comments and it's a bad look. Just pretend you're above it, even if you're not. At least make some burner accounts,

pull some Jill Zarin action and make some burners. Nothing can be a bad look when you look so good wearing it. See, that could be good. Maybe this is fine. This line is fine. I think I think by the way, I feel like her line and Jessel's line are both fine. They're not bad. They're there. I think they trend towards good. There's like good wordplay, but they're not amazing. I don't even remember what it was again. What was it? If you look this good, how could you look,

how could you look this good when you look this good? How does it? Love looks good on me, but then again, what doesn't or something like that. Good on me, but what doesn't? Yes. Yeah, because Uba found the ultimate. She found a man. And that's all I care about for some reason. A man in Connecticut and that's all in Connecticut care about for

the man in Connecticut a rich man in Connecticut you know what looks good on me new canin but what doesn't Stanford so hot on me I would I needed a town with three A's the And not everyone can be Jenna's lines, but they can try. I just want Jenna to come out and say my shoulders are cold always. I know. Sorry, my shoulders are cold. Jenna's tagline is, is anyone else feel a draft? And she because she's wearing a jacket over her shoulders.

And this time she broke the Jenna mold and she's wearing a dress. What do you think of that? Well, the internet's the internet is going crazy. Well, I don't know if that's a dress and pants. Oh, no, it's a bikini top. No, it's a dress. It's a dress and dress and boots. A bikini top and the boots are tight. Tight. I can't have boots.

She's not wearing jeans. Yeah, well you go girl. She looks like me. I'm gonna dress and also a trench coat. And I'm not wearing glasses. Yeah, good for her. It'll be interesting. I can't wait to see all the nothing she brings

because she's already promised that this year she is going to bring nothing. She's like you will not see my relationship. I will talk about eyelashes. I saw a headline today where Rebecca Minkoff said that Jenna refused to have a fake fight about fashion for the show. And then someone else was like, This is why these people should be fired. But Jenna is, I think this is the first tagline

we've ever had that incorporates a bleep into it. Right. I don't think we've ever had a person that can't be true. No one's used a bad word in the openings. I don't think we've ever had a bleep. Not everyone can be Jenna lions. Not everyone can be Jenna lions,. Not everyone can be Jenna fucking lions, but also not everyone can fly private. I buy. Okay, who else is she the last one?

But they can try. Oh, sorry, I thought Oh, they're including laughter. Then I realized that was hoda. So then the last shot we have well, the thing is Jenna ends hers by pointing her finger like doing that thing with her finger like, like, no, no, no, I'm Jenna Lyons. If you'd like, if you'd like to work for me and be my stepchild, you may, but otherwise, no, no, no. Now looking for God children slash interns. And then we see all the

women are standing and they're holding their apples. Psy is the center apple, which feels like Bravo was just trolling us. I don't know how that happened. How did, how did Jessel not become the center? How did that, honestly, I, it's gotta be either Jenna or Jessel as the center. You could even make an argument for Aaron oddly enough enough, but Cy, what is going on there? I would say, you know, I would say a lot of these, I would say Brynn, Aaron, Jenna, or Jessel could be the center or Uba. I mean, really, I don't know. Oh, I can't pick up. It's the new girl.

Yeah. I don't know. Do you think, well, up. It's the new girl. Yeah. I don't know. Do you think, well, we haven't seen the season though. Cause I'm sure they decide this all after they've shot the season. So maybe something crazy happens in the season where Cy just leans into the hungry villain, you know? She just like walks around town, yelling at Wendy's workers, food workers.

Give me my food, I'm hungry. You know what I grew up with? Nothing. Give me my food, I'm hungry. You know what I grew up with? Nothing, give me my food. Um, Jenna is being very casual. She's like, she's a cool girl. She throws her apple. She's like, yeah, she's like, I'm a lesbian. So I catch. Yeah, I'm a lesbian, but I was also the first lesbian here.

So I can, I'm entitled to throw my apple. Like Raquel needs to get like another season under her belt before she can throw her apple. It's the lesbian rules. And we don't even get the Scientologist. Yeah, she's just a friend of a lot of crap. She's just a friend of me. I said she's boring, you know.

Oh, look at side. Look at side being clever. She's holding her apple by the stem. Yeah, that's that's why I get paid big bucks. I'm like an apple influencer. Don't be like that. She's like, I'm just being hungry, so I'm going to hold my food with disdain. You know what? I respect Aaron for holding the apple properly. Like that's how you two hands

under the apple presented to us. That's how it's supposed to be done. Yeah. Aaron's serving it in the classic way. You know, I think Aaron probably studied up the most to do something like this. Yeah, everyone else is trying to, like, sort of serve a look with it. Like, Jess is like, oh, look at me. I'm holding my apple just the way my uncle showed me how to. And then... I slept on the couch for two weeks,

and it was only through that utter pain that I survived that I've learned how to hold an ear-pull. I've discovered that holding an apple like this is the best way to hold it before you throw it at Poppet's head. I don't know what Brin is doing with hers. She's sort of annoyed with her apple. She's doing like David Bowie and Labyrinth.

Remember David Bowie and Labyrinth with those balls. Oh yeah, she does have the fur thing going on, the feather thing. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. All right, well, let's hit the road. This will be fun. This begins next week. Our recap start of this on the second. The show comes out the first, so I'll be there. Yeah, we're excited know I'm excited to see what happens and we're gonna have a lot of fun with that. That'll be next week so everyone tune

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