Watch What Crappens - #2577 RHONY S15E01 Part One: Since U Brynn Gone
Episode Date: October 2, 2024This is part one of a two-part recapReal Housewives of New York are back! We’ve got fresh faces and new petty arguments. Brynn is mad at Erin, Erin is mad at Brynn, and somehow ...Jeff Lewis and an Uber are at the heart of it. Plus, Rebecca - aka Becky - Minkoff makes her debut as well as newbie Racquel.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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us together. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that
we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkerr and joining me today on the, I almost said
the season two season premiere, but it's really season 15 season premiere
of Real Housewives of New York. Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How are you?
Hi. I think this should be actually, they should just change it back to season one and season two.
It's not fair because then these people don't get considered the OGs of their show.
Yeah, no, but they're like the new era. We are here today to recap it,
to those who may be new to the podcast
because they listened to us on Jeff Lewis.
Welcome, thanks for having us on the show, Jeff.
Always a pleasure for us to go on there.
Also-
Truly, fun time, truly great times.
And also if you're new,
and you may have learned this on Jeff's show,
that Ronnie's house is under construction. So if you hear some hammering or some drilling, don't hold
it against, don't hold it against Ronnie.
Like that.
Okay. Yes. You know what? This is real life. And so just pretend it's just the sound of
like Aaron Leachy being suspicious of something.
Just pretend that we're, we're doing this from the set of Mario Maker.
Because have you ever played that game?
It's just people building things in Mario World.
So the whole soundtrack to the game is like, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink,
tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, I make it sound so fancy. It's a little dumpy garage room, basically,
that I'm staying in under the house.
And the room right above this is the recording studio.
So that's what they're doing today.
So it's noisy, but it's going to be for future less noise.
Yeah, it'll be great.
If that makes any sense.
It's our future home.
I'm so excited.
I'm really excited for you.
I really am.
I think that's gonna be really wonderful.
I'm also excited because it's the season premiere of Rony,
as previously mentioned.
So we have, now we have a year of the new cast under the belt.
We have a new cast member. We have a new friend of,
we have new petty squabbles. We have new veneers.
We have new everything. Isn't that exciting? Oh, we have an old trope storyline though, uh,
used by somebody which I love.
Cy is coming in with the good old fashioned villain.
I've been to therapy and now I'm totally different than last year.
I really thought about all of my actions last year and I have vowed to do better.
Girl, listen here, Cy, don't, don't bother. Okay.
Embrace your villainy. Nobody wants to see you get better. Girl, listen here, Cy. Don't. Don't bother, okay? Embrace your villainy.
Nobody wants to see you get better, okay? You can't possibly get worse. Actually, get
worse. This is housewise. I don't want to see a nice Cy. I want to see a campier, funner,
more fun Cy. But I don't want to see like a nicer Cy. Who wants that? You're going
to just be starving all the time, but be nice to people? Get the fuck out of here with that.
And also don't believe it because it's going to last around two scenes.
It didn't last the whole episode.
And by the way, I have to say,
I had a really weird reaction,
which is that I kind of liked Psy in this episode.
I was like, wait.
Me too.
What?
Psy is like one of my least favorite housewives of all time,
just because she's so meh.
But then this episode, I was kind of like,
yeah, I'm kind of enjoying Psy.
And I think maybe a turning point for me is that I realized
that when she says yeah,
she actually sounds like she's meowing.
At one point someone was like, is that what you think?
She goes, yeah.
And I was like, oh, she's sort of like a kitty cat.
That makes me like her a little bit more.
And that's all it took for you, huh?
It's just, yeah.
You're a cat person.
Well, what I liked is she didn't talk about food as like her old standby thing. And I felt like
the arguments or the point she was making, I was on the side of, and that's important on a
housewives show, a show that's all about arguing. If you're on the right side of the argument,
we're gonna like you. And I think she was on the right side of the arguments. And I feel like last
year she just had stupid arguments. She was mad about the dumbest things. Whereas this time, her arguments make sense. And also it's an anti-Bren year,
which I like because she really deserves it. And I'm surprised it took so long for everybody to
figure out that it's Bryn. It's been Bryn all along.
What do you think about new cast member Raquel?
It's been Brynn all along. What do you think about new cast member Raquel?
Listen, you guys, Bravo's not making lesbianism look fun.
Let me tell you this.
My best friends are lesbians and they are fun people, okay?
They're fun.
They're fun lesbians.
They do exist.
Not on this show.
I mean, not on Bravo.
I mean, you've got Kyle Richards and now this chick who, what does this chick do? She's riding motorcycles. Tamra Barney is already doing that. You've been out lesbian by Tamra Barney. Get the fuck out of here.
Do something.
I feel like, so I am a little concerned. Okay. So Raquel seems truly like one of the coolest people that Bravo has ever cast. I mean, she's like works in the art world in a way that feels real. Like it doesn't feel like someone's saying they work in art.
Like she works in art. She is like in this like power lesbian couple.
They are on motorcycles. She's gorgeous. She's fashionable. She's chic.
She's got her, her, her fiance is like, Hey, I'm Mel, which by the way,
continues the, the, the tradition on Bravo people.
By the way, agreed with everything so far, which like the tradition on Bravo is People know by the way, agreed with everything so
far, which like the tradition on Bravo is if your name is Mel or Mal, you speak like
this. Hi, I'm Mel. Hi, I'm Mel. So they're like really chic and really cool. But then
like every time Raquel opened her mouth, I was like, Oh, you have nothing to offer to
the show. Like you're actually too sophisticated. And like, this is not this. You shouldn't be on this show. Like this is,
you need to be at a car. You need to be at,
you need to be on the episode of Beverly Hills when they went to Spain and sat
with like the intelligentsia and like the architects. That's Raquel's show.
This show, I don't understand what she's doing on here.
You know, I'm not a cool person. Everybody knows that.
And I've never been a cool person. And I, you know, there were times when I was a kid where I was like, Oh God, I wish I was
cool. And when I would dream of being cool, it would probably be exactly what you listed,
which is what she is. I would be a lesbian, eh? Because lesbians, like there's no one
cooler than a lesbian, I think. And just fashionable and those art and just so smart and just like
hot and just like, oh, Zempik, why would I? Ooh, like
I'm so thin naturally. That's like, why would I do that? You know, but also not dissing
goes Zempik, but just like I'm already so thin. I mean, just everything about her, like
I dream of being, but God, I don't dream of watching it. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You seem very nice. Now come sit in the audience with me and let's just talk about this.
Exactly. I'm also shocked that she is a real person because I feel like I've seen her in
many movies. There's always a movie. There's always some sort of like New York city movie
or TV show like sex in the city or just, just like that, which she actually contributed
to. Um, there's always a movie where there is some sort of like chic artsy lesbian who
rides a motorcycle, but also is like well connected in the art
world and it's fabulous and you're like wow and I'm always like people always
write this character this character does not exist it's like oh no Raquel exists
and it's probably all bit based off of Raquel you know all these writers on all
these shows have probably met Raquel at some very fancy party, chic party and
they're like that woman is amazing I'm gonna work her into my script. And in fact, I actually sincerely believe
the only reason why she's on the show
is that casting directors met her
and just wanna be friends with her
and they're like, we gotta add her to the show
so that way we could just like maybe siphon off
some of her coolness onto us.
But like so far after one episode,
and of course I'm very willing to change my opinion,
I'm like, she's so cool that I don't see her like
mixing it up with drama or anything.
Like, I don't see her role on this.
But man, I wish I was as cool as her.
Well, who knows, you know, sometimes you don't always have to be crazy and dramatic.
You can just be kind of moving the story along being like the voice of reason or making a
funny comment.
She didn't do that much, but I was kind of fascinated with her.
I just think she looks fascinating.
I mean, her whole life is kind of fascinating her whole, you know, on the, on paper she's fascinating. So we'll see, maybe it'll work out.
Rebecca Dinkoff?
The other one, the Scientologist chick, great casting. I don't care what anybody says. I know
Scientology is evil and they're probably gonna start chasing us and ruining our lives the second
we start tearing this person down. But guess what? She's great TV. She has that weird little squint
and that like better than you attitude and she knows she's going to space heaven. You know what I mean? Like that woman
is positive that she's, yeah, she looks like a cartoon pickle with a squint and she knows
that she's going to Ron L Hubbard heaven. And she doesn't give a fuck what you think.
You know what I mean?
I was like, okay. Like, first of all, I was really won over by the squint because I love
a passive aggressive squint. Every time Rebecca Minkoff squints her eyes. We love a her eyes, it says so many things. She's basically saying like, you're a trash.
When honestly I was won over by her, we will get to it, but when she was like, oh yeah,
I've met Sy before. We know when mommy influencing was a big thing down in Brooklyn. I was like,
oh, that was so dismissive. That hurt so bad. I was like, oh, that was so dismissive.
I was like, that hurts.
So bad.
She was like, yeah, you know,
when I used to see her when she was doing the,
when that was the thing, but you know, now I,
I passed to Cece's pizza once and she was coming out of it.
I think I saw her there.
That was, that was, I was like, oh my God,
she just kicked her in the nuts.
Also, I think that she may actually have a Midwestern
accent, which I also love,
is that she might be like this Chicagoan maybe. I'm going to look up to see where she's from
originally. But yeah, I definitely was like, oh, she's going to be evil. And I think that's,
I feel like I'm really, the squint is really doing a lot for me.
Aaron came back trying to be fun. So that was very... Aaron's like, look at me, I'm
fun Aaron. And that lasted about five minutes too. I love a season two where everybody has
taken notes from the first season and tried to fix it and they just can't do it. Now,
saying that, Joe has not really taken that many notes, let's be honest. But so far, we
don't know. You know, I don't think it sucked. It was actually enjoyable. I found myself like, oh, I actually kind of missed the show and missed the people,
and I'm interested to see what kind of this fucking construction, I swear to God.
I was actually interested to see what was going on with everybody.
Jenna has taken notes. I mean, my God, she's like a different person this year, do you think?
No, I think she's the same. She's still whispering through our interviews. But I like Jenna,
so I'm happy with that. I do, I have to say, I felt like...
Well, she's like so fun now and she's like, look at me, I wear dresses and I don't wear
my glasses all the time and I wear pink now. I'm like, who are you? Like, what did love do to you,
honestly? And I mean, I think I like it. Like, she was mixing with the girls and laughing and
having fun and confronting somebody about being mean to her. I was like, this is not you from my...
And we were led to believe that
Jenna was just going to be a big dud this season because she refused to put her real life on the
show. But I like it. She was like, look, I wear pink now.
No, she was like, look, you're not...
That's my new personality.
You guys don't get to see my girlfriend, but you get to see her mom. And I'm like, that's better.
That's better. I'm down for this lady. I'm down for Ruth Buzzi sitting in the chair. I'd be like,
I got to meet a gay man. So, you know, I thought...
And honestly, they're one of those mother-daughter couples, because I've seen the
girlfriend in interviews, not interviews, but pictures and stuff. And I will say that that is
one where you're like, oh my God, are you sisters? But it's not necessarily derogatory or
complimentary. You know what I mean? It's like your mom could be or complimentary. You know what I mean?
It's like your mom could be your sister.
You guys look the same to me, same types.
I could imagine the girlfriend sitting in the closet
being like, I love those shoes.
I love them.
By the way, Rebecca Minkoff was born in San Diego.
So I don't know where I was picking up
a Midwestern accent.
Maybe I just like wanted it to be there.
Like just to match the, like, I just wanted like
a cheery Midwestern accent to
match the squint to make the squint that much more devastating to know it was like spoken with a
cheery accent, but with like caustic nasty New York intentions. Um, but
it's even better. It's New York nastiness with California's true because that's a dangerous
mix because New York's a place where everybody tells it like
it is.
In California, we learn to fake it and still be sea-worthy to each other, but in almost
a more sophisticated southern way.
So it's an interesting mix whenever you see an LA person really thriving in New York.
I think that I enjoyed this first episode.
It felt a little long, but it was, you know,
it was a supersized episode too, but.
Lo, LoL we say as we're entering like 30 minutes
on our intro. 12 minutes in.
But we are talking about Bravo, so it's okay.
I know. I did feel like the, you know,
it was miles ahead of the first episode of last season. I thought last season,
it was clear these people did not know each other and they were trying to make
some sort of chemistry happen. At this point, it does feel like a friend group.
Like I do believe they've been hanging out sort of off camera it and,
and I think that what's landing a little bit more for me is like how she can
sophisticated these, these women at least are presenting themselves to be like, I think that's what,
like we were told that last season, like, look at how chic they are.
They're just chic women. I was like, okay, I got it. But now I'm like,
I'm feeling it a little bit more, which I kind of like, they look great. Um,
it is still a little like,
Erin is still just not a very compelling person to me to watch on TV. Um,
like she just sort of hunks her way through her scenes. It's like, really? Erin is still just not a very compelling person to me to watch on TV.
She just sort of hunks her way through her scenes. It's like, really?
You're gonna talk about mushrooms?
Really, Abe?
And the way that the editor has just called her out
immediately, I was like, oh, so I guess Erin's not nice
to production, you know?
I have a feeling Erin's had some moments with production
where she's like, no one, literally no one in my life
has ever been this mean to me.
Literally, no one.
Yeah, she probably did that.
She loves pulling that move.
Literally no one in my entire life
has ever rolled a flashback on me like that before.
In some sense, it's ridiculous.
Okay.
100%.
And then Brynn's whole shtick is like kind of old, but I'm really glad that the producers,
I mean that the cast is just gonna pop her.
I know.
I think that's so funny that they're like
sick of her bullshit.
They're like, you're not getting away
with that fucking baby voice over here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I'm surprised.
I'm surprised.
I'm surprised that I'm actually on Erin's side
in her little dust upup with Brynn.
So, you know, who knows? Who knows? But I mean, you know.
Erin's not wrong a lot. The thing with Erin is not that she's wrong. It's that she harps on the
same thing over and over. She goes to the Eileen Davidson School of Housewifery where she's just
like, are you going to apologize? Remember that time you said that thing? Well, I think you owe
me the apology. Like it really hurt my feelings. Like I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to apologize. Remember that time you said that thing? Well, I think you owe me the apology. Like it really hurt my feelings.
Like I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. Like seriously cheese.
You said that cheese. Seriously cheese. Yeah. Um, uh,
but overall, you know, like I was happy. I was happy with the premiere.
I wasn't like, Oh, this season. I was the seasons in the, in the pits.
I was happy. And I know that I have a good it's a good place to say you know like I know I have a record of talking
about how miserable the first season of this cast was and I still stand behind
that but I think that you know we're gonna move I think I feel like it's
moving in the right direction and I'm coming in in a non-hatery place that's
what I want the audience to know it's a a safe place. I am I was I was happy. I was happy
Listen we're pulling aside. We're gonna come into our second season. We've been to therapy and we're gonna just I'm gonna
I'm gonna me out like a cat and we're gonna move on. Yeah
Okay, so let's we're gonna move on let's dive in
Yeah, so, let's see the girls are getting their makeup done and we start in a way we've never
opened a housewife show before.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Five days after filming, we're shooting the intros.
And there is an angry gay and he's like, we're on set schedule.
So I'm just trying to stay on top of it, ladies.
So I'm like, oh, wow, you've made the gay angry.
So something's really going on with these women right now.
I know, and it's like the first thing in the morning too.
It's like, do not make me angry morning gay.
And it was like, I know, I don't need this today, please.
Do you know what I have to deal with this week, do you know?
And so we start with peak drama of Uba,
Uba Vigid Drama queen in a makeup chair. And then we see a flashback of Uba yelling,
rewind the tape, rewind the fucking tape.
She said it, she said it.
Brandon Brin saying, she's a six foot fucking toddler.
And it was like, bitch.
So then we come back and Erin's getting her makeup done
with Jessel and Erin's like,
we need to stand up for wants right.
Cackling hags and so it's like,
yeah, I feel like you and I have been like,
kind of been in the middle of this
and like we're really close with Yuba
and like we're really gonna be close with,
we're both really close with Brynn
so we're just like stuck in the middle of these two women.
This was Jessel I think she was talking to you.
And then it was like, uh, and then Ubers.
But I just read it as I by accident.
No, no, it was, it was a side, but I think it was just a mistake.
So then we, um, see a flashback and Ubers like, uh, if you guys believe how I
quit then, and then we cut back to Aaron and she's like, honestly, oh no, this is still the flashback.
Erin's like, honestly, not cool, not cool.
What's not cool, Erin?
What you're doing, it's not cool.
Cackling hags.
If we get to the end of this season
and it turns out that like Uba did not finish her shakshuka,
then I'm like, I'm not gonna be down with this.
I can't believe I left it. Well, they kind of going to be down with this. I can't believe left.
Well, they kind of show at the end of the episode, more of this fight.
And it does seem like a huge, nothing. I'm sure it doesn't think nothing. I mean,
the last, their last fight when they were abroad was a big nothing about hiding
Uber's phone. I mean, did we talk about it on end for like five hours? Yes.
But it was a big nothing burger. So, um, no one's like,
I don't even know how we're going to be in the same room today.
And because they are filming their opening credits, which by the way, I was,
I was surprised to see that they were all coming together to film that opening
credits. I just assumed they were all,
they all filmed it individually and they were composited together on screen.
So I was surprised.
Yeah, it was like going to Universal Studios.
Little insight into my experience, my life experience.
Oh my God, it's the psycho house.
Jaws just comes out of the water.
So yeah, they're just big huge drama with Uba and Brynn.
And Jenna's like, what the fuck is happening in the flashback?
And Aaron's like, what just went down was insane. And Sy's like, it the fuck is happening in the flashback? And Aaron's like, what just went down was insane.
And Sai's like, it was shocking.
It was shocking.
It's like chips without salsa.
Who does that?
And Raquel's like, I don't know.
I just don't know how this gets repaired.
And then the producer's like, everybody get ready.
God damn it.
I'm on set.
We can get into our van.
And so it's time to take pictures.
Can we get in the camera, Ty?
I can see the back of my head.
Because there's one thing that I'm known for is my head.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh I thought it was so funny that they cut back and forth to everybody going,
this is so dramatic.
Oh my God, we're all going to die. Oh my God, someone got murdered.
Oh, how's the world ever gonna be the same?
To Bren like, I need a hair tie.
So I was like, where do we go from here?
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If Paul asked you to do something, it wasn't a request, it was an order. I'm your host we're rolling guys. Three, two, one, Jenna, do that thing where you throw
the apple in the air because you're casual and cool. Yeah, yeah, Jenna. All right. So,
now we have our opening credits and we have our lines right off the jump for this season,
considering that we're only getting to the lines on Salt Lake City this week. So, we
have Bryn who says, oh, we did actually a whole episode on this.
Well, we already did these.
Yeah, so we did these.
These are in, we did probably 45 minutes already talking about these lines.
You can go listen to it.
It came out last week.
It's the Countess Luan interview.
The second half of that episode is all these lines, a deep dive.
The one that still just makes me crazy is, why be their dad when you can just be mother?
You don't get to call yourself mother.
Who does that?
Yeah, I agree.
Oh my God, Ben.
I'm fitting in this shirt today.
I am mother.
No, you don't get to do that.
That title is bestowed upon you.
You don't just give yourself awards.
Well, now we go to 463 Mother Street because we're at Bryn's new apartment and the delivery guys are there and they are,
I feel like you probably relate to this very intensely, Ronnie.
They are trying to figure out a way
to not deliver furniture up Bryn's staircase.
And so...
Dude, it's literally my eighth day
trying to get a washer and dryer delivered.
The eighth time.
They won't do it.
They come, they find a reason not to do it
because they don't want to come up the fucking driveway. It's a steep They won't do it. They find a reason not to do it because they don't
want to come up the fucking driveway. It's a steep driveway. I get it. But you deliver this shit
every day. LA is full of hills. How do you not do this? And I don't know if they're expecting me to
pull out a bag of money. I'm like, I'm not pulling out a bag of money to pay Home Depot workers to
bring the washer up. That's your job. Bring it up, bring it up. And they don't care, cause I'm not like cute.
Like Brynn can get away with it, cause she's cute.
I'm just some old queen in flip-flops screaming.
You know what I mean?
Just need like a Bravo fam to be one of the delivery people
and you'll be set.
So Brynn is like, so the delivery guy comes in
and she's like, so the PCF down there,
it's actually like smaller than this sofa
and like that got up the stairs.
So I promise it's gonna work.
Look, if you don't wanna come up the flight of stairs,
then just like tell me that.
Here's some nudes.
Yeah, and she's really doing the whole like,
oh my God, at this point I'd do anything for a delivery.
Come on, it's just five flights of stairs." And he's like, well, you know,
the thing is, it's dimensions. She's like, uh-huh. Well, I mean, you guys could do that
in 15 minutes. You can't do this one. Men really can't last long, can they?
I have a new apartment. I left the West Village and I migrated north to Gramercy Park, I needed a bigger space because I'm expanding my family.
I've had a baby. It's a puppy.
And for someone who gets super upset at being called a sugar baby later in the episode,
she is named her dog Sugar.
This woman literally has zero self-awareness and it's hilarious.
Let me tell you what she does have.
An adorable fucking apartment.
Oh my God, it's beautiful.
Oh my God.
Did she design this apartment herself?
Like all the wallpaper and all the just-
Yes, don't you remember?
It is so cute.
She explains what her design aesthetic is very shortly.
But yes, it-
Balls.
By the way, I just did that.
Wait till you come over. No, it is gorgeous. You copied Brynn. I did it yes, it balls. By the way, I just did that. Wait till you come over.
No, it's like, you copied Brynn. I did it before I saw this. It is gorgeous. And her dog is
adorable. I would also like to say, and everyone knows I don't co-sign off of every single dog I
see. Um, but she did probably name the dog sugars. That way she could be like, guys, I'm like his
sugar mama. I'm like literally the sugar mama. But now she's stumbled into a storyline where she has to be upset about that.
There's only one sugar baby in this household.
It's sugar, who's a baby.
I'm low carb except for when it comes to sugar.
It's like, okay.
So Brynn said that guys leave
and she tells us moving in New York City is actual hell.
I'm like, if she means physically moving,
I also agree with that because trying to get from point A
to point B in New York city is a nightmare.
So even having with furniture or no furniture,
maneuvering around the city is impossible.
Yeah, moving in the city, not cute.
And let's see, so did she get the furniture?
Like I need to know the ending to this.
You can't just be like, oh, are we rescheduling?
Like, do I have to stay online for an hour and a half
with customer service to try and reschedule?
Like, what is happening here?
Do I get a survey at the end of the call?
Please, please give me a survey at the end of the call.
And then we see like a little montage
of Brynn receiving furniture deliveries
because she's getting them all at different times.
I mean, it literally looks like a nightmare.
My heart goes out to her for this.
And at one point, like a guy comes in with a piece of furniture and she goes, oh, is
this and he gives her like a piece of paper to sign off to say that she got it.
She's, oh, is this the marriage license?
I was like, she's so literally literally every single life she has. It's so fun. She's such a sitcom.
She is like, Oh my God, it's like moving such a bitch. It's just like all these weird men coming in and judging all of your shit.
I mean, guess what? It's thongs, 16 boxes of thongs, thongs, Daris, her brother comes on over, um, and you know, he's been living in Seoul,
but he's going to stay for a month.
And so they, they sit down and, and Prince like, Naris is visiting because I need help.
It's really hard being a hot single dog.
And he's like, so, uh, what do we, uh, what do we have planned?
Are we going to be doing anything?
Are we going to be walking around Central Park again?
And she's like, well, I wanna get everyone together
because I've been gone so much.
And just like, let go, let's go to a cool bar
and invite your partner, your boyfriend,
your girlfriend, your dog trainer,
your hot delivery guy who just proposed marriage to you.
You can bring whoever you want to my party, but I can guarantee you this much.
I'm flirting the fuck out of every single one of them. So he's like, is everything
cool? Cause like I'm cool with everybody. She goes, yeah, I'm cool with everybody. But
like I really want you back to New York city guys. I really want my brother back. I like literally how, uh,
hit his passport last time in my vagina.
So then, um, so Brian is like,
yeah, by the way, like this room, like I know you're my brother,
so you don't want to hear this,
but the inspiration for the living room was balls in your face.
And then we see that there's like little kind of different balls everywhere from lamps to pillows
to whatever. It looks great. It looks great. But of course, Brin's like, balls in your face.
Ball, ball, ball, ball.
It reminded me of, what was that for?
Oh, Vicky's grandchildren.
Ball, ball, ball, ball.
Or, I don't know, it's Orange County.
Peggy, what's her face?
No ball in house, Coco.
Orange County has a sacred tradition with balls.
Okay, so next up is Jessel and Povit waiting for a subway,
which is horrifying. My God, what are you going to take her
to a Ross dress for less next? Jesus.
Definitely uncomfortable with this. She's like, I definitely
don't look like I belong here. You made me like dress like
this. You said we were going somewhere nice. I should have
known never to trust the chairman of the board of the chicken society of New York City.
And she's like, we're going to Chinatown. It's really a really good spot. And she's
like, do I dress up? This isn't a flashback. And we see him because he's like a food influencer
now. So we see him like delicately cutting up chicken nuggets for the kids.
I know that was-
And this is how you cut up chicken nuggets for children. Why should children eat less
classy chicken nuggets than the rest of us? Here is how we do it.
That was so extra. So, then they're getting on the subway and she goes, oh my God, the
subway? So I'm not familiar with the, is it called the MTA,
or as I like to call it, the PSV,
the Parvatt Stupid Vehicle?
So they sit in the corner of the train
and she's just looking around like it's so disgusting
and she discuss, hello, to nobody. And he's like, don't do that. She goes, why? He goes, yeah, you just don't like it's so disgusting. And she just goes, hello. To nobody.
And he's like, don't do that.
She goes, why?
He goes, yeah, you just don't do that on the train.
Yeah, before today, I think I've taken the subway
a grand total of two times, which is as many times
as I've been able to tolerate Povit doing something
ridiculous in our apartment.
And the producer was like, well, how much do you spend
on Uber per month?
She goes, oh gosh, last month, $990. That's a lot of money, although not as much money as
the apartment has spent on buying me apparently. I have to say, I don't think that that's that
much money for an Uber. I was impressed. I mean, I think for like a super Uber rich, well, no pun,
but I think for a super rich person, they'd have a driver, you know what I mean? Get over yourself. You're on,
you're on Uber's Jessel. Okay. Calm down over there, Jessel. So, um,
she's like, Oh God,
remember when I used to come to Chinatown to buy fake bags all the time?
And he's like, yeah, you can still do that. She goes, yeah,
I got my Diorys and my Prados. Hilarious.
So they show up someplace called Carol's Moon and they're like, Carol's bun.
And Jussell's like, but you said it was a nice place.
And it's just like, it's a true hole in the wall.
And there's like a pigeon roosting like over the doorway.
And the cameramen keep on showing that they just keep focusing on the pigeon.
And Jussell on showing that. They just keep focusing on the pigeon. And Jessel is horrified.
They've got big pigeon energy this year
on Real Housewives of New York.
They're gonna make the pigeons attacking Jessel
like a thing this year.
Yes, it's at the Mac touch.
It's like David Lynch.
Yes.
So he's like, oh, could you get a picture of me,
like a video of me walking into the restaurant?
Influence!
She's like, all right, Pavit.
You know, Pavit has always been obsessed with food, but this whole Vietnam fiasco
has really inspired him to become a food influencer.
Weird. And then we we go to like Instagram videos of Pavit with his food,
where he's like, hi, this is a Banh Mi sandwich.
I really like Banh Mi.
I like the bread and I like the meat. Mm, delicious.
She's like, I'm married to Benka. Now I'm with a food influencer all of the sudden.
And so she's recording him order his food totally naturally. He's like, I would like one of Carol's
buns. That would be delicious. Carol, please put your buns
away. Disgusting. So she's like, the way he looks at a piece of fried chicken, I don't
think he's ever looked at me like that. I have thighs. I have breasts. I could be coated
in flour if he wants me to. I could be battered. I could be stuck in scalding hot oils, which
is what I'd like to be after watching him
scoff down that bon mit caroels boom.
I can be pounded.
All right, we're going into chicken piccata territory, but still.
So then they're sitting at this rickety table outside and everything and she's disgusted
by this whole process. And she's like, Oh God,
she's, Oh, you spilled on your white pants. And he's like, Oh yeah,
well I'm really bummed that they don't have chicken feet.
She's like, disgusting. Why am I married to this man?
She's like, Oh my God, I put my mouth against this man's mouth. You know,
she says that look on her face. Like, why, why?
She's like, okay, well I want to start planning stuff because we're shooting again and it's
time to start talking about babies. That's what you do on Housewives, Povett. He's like,
babies, I'll tell you what I love, baby sliders, little, they're like hamburgers, but they're
little. You eat them with ketchup or mustard, occasionally a pickle. They're delicious.
Povett, I'm speaking right now. Okay, Povit, you have to start making more of an effort.
I didn't even get a Valentine's Day card from you.
Remember? I got you a massage.
I didn't even get a card.
I just got a sloppy piece of toast with avocado on top.
And you said, this is from the best avocado toast place in all of Chelsea.
You think I care about that? I don't care about that.
I want a card. I want something from Hallmark.
Or papyrus, Povett. Papyrus!
It's like the gift of giving stopped when we had the babies. I'm not asking for much, but I would like to sleep till 930, and I would like to be told go enjoy a spa day
or watch the kids, and I would like to be told, please stop speaking to me and calling me mother.
I'm solely here to be your nanny. I mean, this is little things that I'm asking from the world.
I don't ask for much. All I want is for Parvath to go off to Vietnam and be abducted by some
tribe of criminals and then I never have to see his face again and I can hire someone
to educate my children. I could just live the life I finally want to live. That's all.
I don't ask for much.
So I got an invoice from Dr. Wong.
We're paying a lot of money for embryos
to be stored in Beverly Hills.
I could take five months of Ubers for the rent
we're paying for those babies.
And he's like, he's like not listening
because he's just scarfing down all his food.
And she is, we see a flashback about that.
He's like watching to see how many hearts are appearing on his entrance to
Carol's buns video. He's like, he's like, I found that I found that a hot new
place. Hold on. He's like watching Yelp to see if other people are now starting
to come to Carol's buns. So then boons, I really,
it really is supposed to be boons, not buns. Um, so,
Oh, I didn't know that. I, I, so, you know, Nini from Top Chef, our favorite, she has a new cookbook out and I almost bought it the other day
and I was leaping through it and I don't know why I didn't buy it,
but I didn't buy it and I feel over, I have FOMO. I should, I should bought it.
And she has a whole thing on there for Boons and she has a big thing in
parentheticals that says pronounced Boon, not bun.
Unless I misread it, in which case now I'm being, now I'm the,
now I'm the asshole, but apparently it's boon.
Oh, I thought there were buns. Who knew? So now I do.
This is education. It's buns if it's talking about like roles, but Vietnamese dishes.
Now who's the Povit, huh? I just showed Povit.
Uh oh, watch out Povit.
Povit, huh? I just showed Povit, it was Povit. Uh-oh, watch out, Povit.
So, they talk about their IVF stuff. She wants a girl, he doesn't want a kid,
you know, it's kind of the same stuff from last year. And she's like, but Povit,
what if we have the next Beyonce or what if we have the next Elon Musk in that freezer?
And then you're like, bye, Beyonce, that sucks. And he's like,
okay, well, I'm okay with saying buy it at Beyonce, but Elon Musk, I'll take.
Are you serious, Povit?
I think he was joking. I hope he was joking.
Although...
Well, I think because his point was that he wants a girl and not a boy. So I'm hoping
that's all we're going because your boy is going to be making very extremely dangerous
trucks that make no sense
that cut people for no reason. Yeah, although Povit is definitely someone who I would expect
to get a Cybertruck. That's... Think about that, everyone. Just think about it. It's horrifying.
Think deeply about that. So then we go... Oh, sorry.
No, I was just going to complain about Cybertrucks, but there's, you know,
what else really needs to be said?
They suck.
Yeah, I think we said enough.
Commercials, here comes one right now.
So then we go to Erin walking into a store,
an Uber or a restaurant, and Uber comes in,
and this guy's like, oh, let me get out of your way.
She goes, oh, you can be my date.
I'm single, single Uber, not single anymore, sorry.
My storyline has changed, ladies.
He's like, well, I'd love to,
but my fiance wouldn't like it.
She goes, it's okay, I'm Muslim, you can have four of us.
He's like, is she being serious?
Did I just get hit on by a supermodel?
I also love that Erin walked into a place called Lula,
because Lula spelled L-U-L-L-A.
There really could not be a better restaurant to describe Erin.
Lul. A-lul.
Just like Lula, just give it more of a lul.
So she goes in and they're complimenting each other and they just love each other now,
you guys.
It's crazy.
And Aaron's like, Uba and I are like peanut butter and jelly.
I love her.
I literally talk to her more than my sister.
Hold on, wait for it.
That was me being fun and effervescent.
Well, yeah, but to be fair, who really wants to speak to Erin's sister?
I remember her from last season and she was awful.
So are you guys talking during the ceremony?
Seriously?
That was so funny.
Erin's like sponsored wedding ceremony.
It's like you're being so rude talking during the ceremony.
Yeah, I really talked to her more than my sister.
Yeah, and it was like, yes, my friendship with Erin
is like a beautiful roller coaster, you know?
We got over all our issues and we are just inseparable.
So she's talking about their hunger and everything
and then Ian walks back to Minkoff
and she's like, hi, how are you guys?
He is like, cute.
And Erin's like, Becky M how are you guys? He is like, cute. Aaron's like, Becky Minkoff.
I call her Becky.
I can't stand it.
We're close.
Becky Minkoff.
We knew Gwen.
We both knew Gwen.
But you know, she's a friend,
but she's also a major fashion designer.
She's awesome.
She's such a sweetheart.
And Rebecca's like,
I've heard so many great things about you.
Oh, yes. I was talking to the menu actually. Am I supposed to be having lunch with these two?
Okay. Oh, I know your name like Coca-Cola.
No, my name's Rebecca, not Coca-Cola. No, it's metaphor. I know your name like Coca-Cola.
No, but I'm not anything like Coca-Cola. No, yes, but I'm saying, I'm just saying I'm happy
to meet you. But you know, I'm not Coca-Cola, right? Like I but I'm saying, I'm just saying I'm happy to meet you, but you know I'm not Coca-Cola,
right?
Like I'm Rebecca Minkoff or Becky if you're lucky enough to know me that way, like Erin.
Do you think Rebecca knows that Erin calls her Becky?
No.
I don't think anyone calls her Becky except for Erin.
Erin is also sort of a person if she was friends with Nicolas Cage, she'd be like, oh, Nick
Cage and I go way back.
Yeah, oh, Nick. Or as I call him, Nike, you know.
I actually know him a little bit better than you,
so I just call him N- Cage.
Yeah, yeah, I just took off a couple of letters,
and so it's intimating closeness.
So yeah, she's like, oh my God, you're like Coca-Cola.
She's like, you're like, what's that stuff
that's not really Coke, but they sell it
in the Dollar Tree stores, I've heard about it.
Oh, thanks.
So she's like, so let's order some stuff.
The waitress is like, happy Tuesday, ladies.
Thanks, sunshine.
So Erin's like, hold on, personality alert.
I'll have a mezcal espresso martini.
I'll wait for you guys to digest that.
Rebecca's like, yeah, can I have your largest
Americano black, please, and not a Coca-Cola,
because that's not who I am.
And Uba's like, oh, not that decaf.
So, then Rebecca's like, so, did you do berries this morning? And everyone's like, oh, not a decaf. So then Rebecca's like, so did you do berries this morning?
And everyone's like, no, but I didn't work out.
I'm like, wow, there are conversations
off to a scintillating start.
Yeah.
And then Uba says that she didn't do her central park walk
this morning, and that's usually her only exercise.
And Rebecca's like, that's your only exercise really?
And Aaron's like, oh my God, do you believe it?
Like her body's like perfect, right Bex?
Wow, that's like really amazing.
And Aaron's like, I knew you guys would love each other.
And it was like, yes, thank you.
Bex is like, oh yeah, she's like such a good matchmaker.
He's like, yeah, she does for husbands too.
Yeah, I have like set up so many of my friends.
God, we're having such a compelling scene right now.
I just feel like I can already feel People Magazine calling
to put the three of us on the cover.
It's amazing because, you know,
I've felt a lot of things in my life,
but I think this is the first time
I've actually felt deeply inside
the sound of a channel changing. Is that weird?
And so they're like, so did you set Uba up with her guy? I mean, Uba's life has changed.
She finally got the ultimate, a man. That's the only thing anybody ever cares about,
a man to complete you. And Aaron's like, no, but I wish, because that one's the perfect one.
And Rebecca's like, show me him. I want to see how hot he is. And she goes,
oh, well, it's not really just about his hotness. It's just like his whole vibe. I was like,
is he hot? Who says that?
It's his whole energy. So, it was like, this is my man. And so, she's like, oh, gosh. Like,
well, oh, and he's tall too. It's like a, a very tall,
ugly person. But you know, it's amazing what tall can cancel
out usually, but in this case, it doesn't really cancel out
much. So, um, you know, he must have a great personality. I'm so
excited for you.
You know, it's weird. Taller people are even uglier from
below, but they still get more tail. I'll never really
understand it. But hey, I don never really understand it, but hey,
I don't really understand how toothpaste is made either,
but I use it, so.
Uba's like, I literally won the jackpot.
You won the jackpot, and you didn't even tell us?
No, it's a metaphor, Aaron.
Literally, you're lying to me now about the jackpot?
No, Aaron, it's just I'm saying I liked my man.
So did you win a jackpot or did you not win a jackpot?
Are you buying this lunch?
I wanna know. Aaron's like, it's amazing watching her and her jackpot together. Like he can't keep his hands off of you. She goes, how can you not put this ass? I was like, okay, this
scene needed to end five minutes ago. Please just cut this scene and let's just follow Uba, I mean,
follow Rebecca down the street
and watch whatever crazy shit she gets into
with her cleared ass, please.
So Uba's talking about how she never really wanted kids,
she just wants, she's been spoiled in her life,
she likes to, you know, she likes her sleep,
she likes to go to Paris for dessert,
but now when she's with Oliver, you know what,
like, you know, now she's sort of like,
yeah, let's do it, it just feels right.
So Uba is basically,
they're just still talking. And I like how she thinks because this is so hot people. This is
totally how they think. I thought you're good looking, I'm good looking. Let's see what we can
produce. Never a better reason to have a baby. You know, we're both hot. Let's see what happens. If
it's ugly, we'll just toss it in the river. Like who can't.
Brangelina was literally formed on that basis. It's like,
we're two of the hottest people in the world. We should like, we owe it to
humanity.
Theirs was nicer because they're like, well,
but theirs was nicer because they're like, we're really hot.
Let's adopt less hot people because literally anybody we adopt is naturally
going to be less hot than us. And it's our way of giving back.
Yeah.
But let's also have a hot child too.
I don't like, they're so hot they didn't even want to be around similar hotness.
They wanted to get like other hotness so they could truly care for it.
So, anyway, after all this-
That's so rude.
Their kids are all gorgeous by the way.
So after all this yapping, finally we get into the, let's finally start to get messy.
So Aaron's like, by the way,
Brandon is having a party at Fleur.
Are you going to be able to come to Fleur?
And Uba's like, oh yes, but I'm going to be a bit late.
What?
Fleur.
This is the names of restaurants
like with Aaron's personality is so funny, like Lola.
Flir.
Are you going to go to Flir?
So, yeah, another talking about this party and it was like, yes, but I'm going to be
late because I have dinner with my jackpot.
I won.
I have a man.
Becky.
Come with me as my date, Becky.
Who is Becky?
She actually, notice that she called her Rebecca
in this part, that's why I'm wondering,
does she ever call her Becky to her face
or is that something she's just doing us behind her back
to make us think they're really close?
Honestly, I feel like Beyonce stole from me
because I kind of started Becky and then she took it from me.
So that's how I feel about that.
Becky with a good squint, That's what we called it.
Flir.
Flir.
So then they're like, who's coming? Like Jenna, Rebecca's like, know her.
And they're like, sigh. She says, oh, love side. This is where she says, yeah,
love side.
We used to live in Dumbo and that was like when mommy and entrepreneurs were
like trending and I would see her at like everything. So that was something.
Haven't seen her in a while. Dumbo's over mommy influencing is over. That's good.
They haven't, they haven't thrown her in a meat grinder yet. So good for her.
Sometimes the way I like, sometimes I forget her name. So I just call her Dumbo.
It just seems to work. So if you see her, just call her Dumbo from now on. Um,
Erin's like, well there's Brynn. Oh yeah. Cause Rebecca's like, and who is Brynn? And she's,
oh Brynn in our friend group. She's like really bubbly and really fun. Like me.
In our friend group, she's like really bubbly and really fun.
Like me.
It was like, when did you last see Brynn? And she's like, um,
I haven't seen Brynn for a while. And Rebecca's like, do I not want to come to this?
Get it, Dumbo.
So then Aaron's like, you know, in this friend group, we all hang out, but then we splinter
off and then in the private groups, things are talked about from the big group.
And then that's when things become a problem.
The private group is when you talk shit and you're, and you embellish and then you get
called out about it when the big group gets back together.
Actually that's the real, that's the realty on that situation.
Truth. Yes, truth.
So then we go to Brynn and she's going to blue dots and she's like,
um, I need a kitchen table.
Why did you say blue dot and Uber voice?
I don't know. I think it was just Uber leading us in.
Okay. We're done with this scene now. I'm going back to Jackpot. Let's go to Brynn in Blue Dot.
So Jessel joins and she's like, I would hope that Brynn brought me along to furniture shop
because she thinks I have good taste. And then Brynn's like, Jessel's taste, it exists. It's
like hers. But Jessel's not here for her tea. She's here for her honesty and then Jenna actually respected me. So
I'm like
Jessel's apartment
While austere and lacking emotion is quite nice
and again Jessel was the only one who had like
Heavy hitters from Vogue show up at her party that she had last season so the fact that they keep on dissing Jessel
Like she's like a wannabe,
when she has like the lady who wears clown makeup
and that's supposed to be cool showing up in her living room.
I don't know, it just does not add up to me.
Remember her?
They were like, Lynn McGillicutty, oh my God, she's here.
Yeah, everybody's like, oh my God, she's for real.
That was when everybody said, oh my God,
Jessel's like a real, she's like,. That was when everybody said, oh my God, Jessel's like a real,
she's like, she deserves to be on this show.
McGillicuddy.
The audience is so funny.
I don't remember that name.
So then Brim's like, let's sit on this couch
because I bought this one.
It's basically like the black version of my couch.
Sit on it guys.
Do you guys have eyeballs in your face?
Ah!
Oh my God.
Hi, I'm Jenna.
I'm in the scene and I just realized something.
I have to look at the camera.
Wait, what Jenna?
I have to look at the camera.
Jenna, you have to speak up.
I have BO, sorry for yelling.
Oh my God, you have BO?
I wanna smell it!
Oh my God, are you sure it's not the dog?
Oh my God, it is a little stinky.
It's like real balls in my face.
Oh my God.
Finding out that she has me yell
is like finding out that God's shit.
Son.
Just give it a few moments to let that breathe a little bit.
So, Bram's like, okay, so funny story. Let that breathe a little bit.
So, uh, Brent's like, okay, so funny story. I was just approached at Soho beach house in Miami two weeks ago and someone's like,
Oh my gosh, Brent's so nice to meet you.
And then she points to her daughter and she's like, this girl she's put up with so much.
Erin and Jeff Lewis called her a call girl.
Uh huh.
Can you believe it?
When she told the story, I thought she was saying that the lady in South Beach was saying
that Aaron and Jeff Lewis called this lady's daughter a call girl. I was like, well, that's
random. I'm like, why are you? But also believable. Jeff was like, I saw this girl. She must have
been a call girl. She was a called her, right? Yeah, absolutely.
So I don't believe this. I believe that she listened to that episode for,
yeah, this is such a weird, she needed someone to come tell her.
Okay. If you're at Soho beach house, Miami, which was like fancy.
And it's like, you know, it's like a club.
You have to get in and all that. And like, you're going to walk up to someone.
Like it's so, if this is a true story,
whoever did this is messy as fuck.
You're not supposed to walk up to people.
You're not supposed to.
Yeah, you're not supposed to go walk up
to the celebrities there.
But also how messy is this?
You walk up to someone you've seen on TV
and then you turn to your daughter and be like,
huh, guess what?
Jeff Lewis has been calling her a call girl.
Like what, who does that?
Messy fucking Bravo audience members, of course.
But I don't believe it.
I think that she watched it.
And also, yeah, you're not supposed to talk to people there.
Remember that time I took a picture,
I tried to take a picture there, they were like,
poor person, put down the phone.
Well, burn that old maybe right on your body.
I was like, okay, sorry.
But it's Cynthia making out with Shahil.
So anyway, yeah, so I wasn't really taking pictures of Cynthia. I was trying to take
a picture of us, but it didn't work. So anyway, yeah, I think she watched it. Because Brenna's
very sensitive and way too involved in what commentators are saying. We saw her last year
get really pissed off at the commentators on the show.
Like literally going to war with them online
on Instagram and stuff like that over silly comments.
Like, and she still seems to be that sensitive.
You can't do that on this show.
You just can't be like, you're not gonna survive long on this show.
So we go to a flashback of the Jeff Lewis show,
and basically there was a question,
I think Jeff asked it, that was like,
do you, where does, where does, where does Brynn get her money?
Like is someone giving it to her?
And Erin says, I don't think so.
And then Jeff is like, I don't know, like maybe.
He basically, Jeff is the one who was like,
I think he says, I think there's an arrangement.
So-
No, he doesn't actually,
which I thought was really interesting.
Both of the people she's mad at are innocent. So he's like, so where does she get, I mean, he was kind actually, which I thought was really interesting. The both of the people
she's mad at are innocent. So, he's like, so where does she get, I mean, he was kind
of hinting at it, right? But he's like, so where do you think she gets her money? She
says, I don't know. And he's like, really? You don't know? Because she's getting it
from somewhere. And she's like, I do not know. I don't think she gets it from anybody.
Yes.
You know, like, I don't, he said, you don't think she gets it from anybody? She says,
no, I don't think she gets it from anybody. And Jeff says, I do. Which I mean, is kind of...
And then he said, doesn't he say there's an arrangement?
Saying that, but then Doug says, no, Doug, who's the nicest person to ever be born onto the planet,
Doug goes, you mean like an arrangement?
Oh.
They said yes. So, I thought it was funny that she's mad at Jeff and her. I mean, Doug was
just trying to guess what Jeff was hinting at, you know, but still I thought it was funny.
It's like, you should be mad at Doug. Like, I would start, just start a war with Doug,
like the nicest person on the planet. I would love to see Brynn like, fuck you, Doug. Get
all indignant to like the nicest guy.
I wouldn't be mad at anyone.
But anyway, Aaron didn't say anything.
So this is why I don't think that Bryn watched this because there's,
if you watched it, there was nothing to be angry about. And in Aaron's defense,
the only one who was unequivocally saying that Bryn did not get her money from
anyone was Aaron. So Aaron was the most on her side,
but I think honestly all three, I think it's such a,
it's such a nothing to be upset about.
And on top of that, it's like, you know,
where you get your money from, et cetera.
Like you, this doesn't bother you.
And the fact that she's getting mad at about this point
is elevating this clip and elevating the notion
that she's a call girl.
I don't think anyone thought she was a call girl.
Well, yes, a lot of people think she's a call girl.
Okay, so maybe, maybe people, but she's giving life
to something that like would never have any life,
I should say.
Erin is, first of all, Erin is kind of going like,
I don't know, you know, she is kind of like,
I don't, you know, come on, but it's a shady show,
they're being shady about it.
And Brynn's whole thing is like,
oh my God, make me mad, I'll date your dad.
I'm gonna find a guy, I hope date your dad. I'm gonna find a
guy, I hope he's rich. I'm gonna date billionaires. I'm learning how to play chess to be with
billionaires. I was just in the Soho house. I mean, her whole thing is like giving off this aura of
only wanting rich men. And it doesn't mean that you're a bad person. And as the rest of the cast
discusses later, if that's your thing, go for it. And it doesn't mean that she's a call girl and it doesn't mean she's a sugar baby, but when
you come out with that kind of cartoonish personality on purpose, you can't get pissed
off when people are like, oh my God, that girl's all about rich men.
Yeah.
You're literally saying on the show over and over, you're all about rich men. Why does
it become so offensive when other people say it?
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know, she's silly. And also, I do believe she watched it, because Brent's a liar.
We see multiple times on this show, especially today, how she takes one little thing and
she twists it around.
So she could have heard that and been like, you're basically on there saying that.
No, she could have said, he's being shady about me being a call girl and you're acting
like ooh, I'll coy like it could be true and that wasn't cool.
But instead she's like, you guys called me a call girl, which, you know,
she takes little things and she twists them.
So I don't know if I would call that outright lying or just Paul Bunyan shit,
but yeah, she's this girl's track.
I feel like she was looking for, I just, I'm like between Brynn and Erin,
they both are really slippery with the truth. They like,
they remember things incorrectly. They tell it back incorrectly. So when the two of them get into a fight about this stuff,
it's ridiculous. But I think ultimately Brynn came into the season wanting to have some sort of like
beef or something like that. And so this is what she latched onto, but I just don't think it's,
it's a failing case, I think on her front. Well, if we remember last year, what happened,
this is exactly how the season started last
year. And I think that's why I'm saying they kind of don't learn their lesson. It's like,
this is how you do housewives. Okay, I'm going to start fights with people at a party that
no one, the cameras weren't at. And then we're going to have these fights that are now going
to be on camera for stuff that nobody saw. Because last year it was the cheese thing.
It was like, well, she said this about how you reacted to the cheese plate. And then it became a huge fight. So Brynn's like pulling from her exact same playbook,
but unfortunately for her, we can see now what she's doing because she's doing the exact same
thing and it's, it's not going to fly. So I'd love that she gets called out.
Yeah. So she says, you know, right. When it happened, that was, I rate, but like,
don't talk about my money. Don't speculate. okay? Let alone speculate about something so lewd and disgusting.
Okay, and look, I forgive her,
but like it still keeps coming back
and rearing its ugly head.
And everyone knows that there's one thing
I'd never turn down, his good head.
Ha!
So Brynn's like, you know, she apologized, right?
Jessel, you were there.
And Jessel says, yes, she was remorseful.
She was as remorseful as my stomach was
after I ate one of Carol's buns.
Jenna, by the way, so Jenna, oh, back to me over at Walla.
Jenna was having us all over to hang out.
It was like a fun night and it was like, oh yes,
it was Sy, Jessel, Brynn and you. Yeah, and Jenna. And like was like, Oh yes, it was sigh Jess and Britain and you, uh, yeah. And Jenna and like, yeah,
like you didn't come. I wish you were there.
I opened the door and it's just like a little bit awkward and like,
I didn't think anything of it, but at the end of the night,
Jenna grabs me and I was like, don't leave yet. And I'm like, huh, okay.
So I stay back and I guess Brynn goes to Jenna's early and sits her down and
this goes like, by the way, Aaron
called you poor.
So here comes already another controversy.
So here we go.
So something she's also starting right before the season off camera to start shit, right?
So then we cut back to the other girls and Brynn's like, so where you at with Erin?
And Jenna's like,
well, you know, you know, and you know,
glasses, teeth, eyelashes, cell eyelashes,
don't have my teeth, I got my teeth back, that was hard.
That was hard.
Really don't like going to the sun.
Because you can't afford an Uber.
Did that make sense?
I've just chose a random response
and hoped it made sense or whatever you were saying.
She's like, Erin told Bryn and I a story. Erin and Jenna had lunch in the Hamptons and
then Jenna's antique fluvety-girb and Bentley broke down in the middle of the road and there
was no subway. Thank God she could have died. But then Erin got her an Uber. But then the Uber was
$250 and Jenna never paid her back. And then Erin got very, very upset. She said literally,
never in my life has anyone been this mean to me. Never. In my entire life. This was
bullying.
Yeah. And then she was like,, oh she's having like money problems
and like brand her car broke down
and she like offered to get her an Uber
and she said yes and she like didn't even make me back.
So Erin's like, never happened.
I don't speak about it that way.
Also she's like not poor.
Like is she as wealthy as me and Abe the babe?
No, does that make her poor by definition?
Probably, but she's like not poor,
like poor, poor, just like cool, poor. You know what I'm saying?
She's not cash rich. Let's just say that. So then we cut to Aaron. So the producer's like,
so did you say that? And she's like, well, let's start from the beginning. Doodaloo do, doodaloo do,
doodal-doo.
Casting crew calls me a storyteller.
When she said, I'm a storyteller, I died.
I literally laughed out loud.
You lost.
Someone called them off, we found a storyteller.
No.
Let's start from the beginning.
Beat, beat, beat.
I'm a storyteller.
Aaron has never told one compelling story
in the history of this show.
Can't you tell by my voice that I'm a storyteller?
I don't know why that made me laugh so hard.
There once was a woman who lived in a shoe
and she was poor, the end.
I'm a storyteller.
So she's like, I was just like trying to bring levity to this situation. I was telling Brent about it
and I was like, oh my God, it's so funny she didn't pay for her Uber. I didn't say she was
having money problems. And then Brent is like, oh my God, I swear on Mimi's grave. Okay, tacky.
And also that means you're lying because everyone who swears on their children's grave is a liar
and you don't have children so you're swearing on Mimi's grave. Liar. you're lying because everyone who swears on their children's grave is a liar and you don't have children's. You're swearing on me. Liar.
Her grandma's grave. But also like here's how I think it went down. Aaron's telling the story
like something craziest thing happened. Okay, you can like, you're gonna laugh so much. Jenna's car
broke down and so she like, like had no car. So like I'll get you an Uber. So I got her an Uber and then she like never pay me back. I'm like, what,
like how does Jenna lions like not pay back?
Are you having like money issues or something like that? Like what's going on?
It's wild, you know? So I think she's probably like making it.
I can see her saying that as like a joke,
but it does not negate the fact that like no one should know that Jenna never
paid you back. The fact that that's included in the story, regardless of where the jokes were,
what was a joke, what wasn't a joke.
The fact that like you happen to include the fact that Jenna never paid you back
is inherently shady and also tacky.
You're basically outing the fact that Jenna owes you $250 from an Uber,
which means you were trying to accomplish something by that.
You're trying to put that out there into the housewives world so it would get around. So she cannot act like,
oh my God, it was just a fun joke. It was all jokes. Like, no, you were being shady and we
have clocked you for it. Well, she admits later that she was just, she admits later that she was
pissed, like that she was annoyed with that. Cause she's like, I mean, it was an expensive Uber. So
of course, like I was annoyed. So she was bitching to Brynn about like, this girl doesn't even pay back
her Uber? Like, who does that? Who spends $250 of somebody's money and doesn't pay
it back? And Brynn's like, Oh my God, she meant you're poor. That's what she said.
So Erin's lying about not talking shit because she was, and Brynn's lying about her saying
she's poor because that doesn't even make sense.
I love it.
It's like two liars facing off.
It's so funny.
I mean, I'm sure Jenna will pay her back.
Just will be in the form of like body lotions and like handbags that she's trying to sell.
She's like, oh, here's a free handbag.
Well, really truly rich people, $250.
It's like, okay.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll get dinner next time.
I mean, that is, by the way, if Jenna did not pay her back, that is,
that is really tacky. Let's not get, let's not also lose that as well,
regardless of how rich anyone is that's tacky to do that.
But also Jenna did give her like a million gifts last year.
Like they complained about all they're like, Oh my God, Jenna,
you just give so many gifts. Like you're trying to buy our friendships.
And then like, and now they're like, uh, can you pay us back? Can we get some more money from you?
Well, that's what I mean. Jenna is like truly rich, right? So she's,
and also a lot of that was spawn con stuff. So, you know, that was a lot of like,
here's my friend's business candles. And they're like, oh my God, Jenny, you're so generous
with your other people's free shit. But also she did buy them other stuff. So she's probably just thinking, oh, that was sweet. My friend caught me an Uber. Like I wouldn't even
think twice about it, but it was just a $250 Uber. I was thinking when you're saying, well, $250 is
nothing if you're rich, meaning that like Aaron shouldn't really be too like whatever $250 shouldn't
mean anything to Aaron. But what you're saying is, oh, to Jenna, it was like a $10. To Jenna,
it doesn't mean anything. It's like, I'll get you on the next one.
Yeah, Jenna was like, how does Uber,
how do you even know how much it costs?
Doesn't it just come?
Like who uses Uber anyway?
She probably has like a driver or something.
So yeah, to her, she's like $250.
I mean, okay, I'm sorry, here you go.
That's napkins, Jenna.
Oh, I'm sorry.
What do you need? Credit card? Do you take this. That's napkins, Jenna. Oh, I'm sorry. What do you need?
Credit card?
Do you take this?
That's a coaster, Jenna.
I just, can someone take care of this?
Cass's mother?
Do that, beg her.
So, everyone's like, I am fully aware
that Jenna has her $10 million loft
and her $5 million beach house
and like does not have money problems.
And so Jenna's like but for the
record um she she said that she didn't say that so you know i was like okay but like so we just
made a boy is that what you're saying Jenna and just was like well i said that maybe she was trying
to add humor to the story she does call herself a quote unquote storyteller which is as laughable
as Parvat calling himself a quote unquote food influencer
or a quote unquote good husband or a quote unquote person with any sort of taste, quote unquote.
So like most Aaron things, this just goes on and on. And Jenna's just like, well,
immediately when I found out, I was like, oh my God, I'm just like such a village person. I'm
just a person of the village. I wonder if I should run for mayor of this village.
But then I thought, everyone's a gossip.
I mean, I'm not gonna get away Scott free.
So who cares?
What am I gonna do?
She swears it wasn't in a mean way.
And so I just, I just shrugged
and didn't give her 250 euros.
There's zero chance that I said it.
Mayor, she's a 1000% said it.
So Erin's like, she's like,
I just thought it was like annoying
for all the previous reasons that Ben and Ronnie
have been talking about for the past 45 minutes.
So now Jessel, go back to Jessel, Jenna and Brynn.
And Brynn's like, well, she did, she did,
she delivered it like, hey guys, here's a joke.
And it wasn't funny.
There you go.
She swore to me she didn't say it though.
She swore to me she didn't say it though. She swore it.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, ladies.
All right, everybody sit down.
Back it up here.
Let's break it up here.
We're fighting over an Uber charge.
We're fighting over gossiping over an Uber charge.
Uber, Uber hot, yes?
No Uber.
How dare you suggest that I was driving someone for $250.
I hit the jackpot.
So Aaron's basically,
so the way these two issues are tied together is that Aaron feels like Brynn
is trying to get her back for Jeff Lewis.
Aaron feels like Brynn was upset about Aaron not standing up for her on Jeff
Lewis. So Brynn went and told Jenna that Aaron called Jenna poor.
That is the through line here.
So now Psy goes to a place called recovery spelled with an I E.
Wow guys. Wow. Really changed it.
I covered your spell check.
I feel safe. I feel safe.
So, Cy is going to a plunge, a cold plunge.
And I love that Cy is starting her season off at recovery
because she's been to therapy guys.
So, she's a totally new person now.
She gets into cold water.
You know what, Cy?
People just really felt like you were really cold last season.
What are you going to do to change it?
I'm going to get into a cold plunge. It's like, do to change it? I'm gonna get into a cold blunch.
It's like, oh, okay.
I'm gonna get into a cold blunch so I seem warm blooded.
I know.
So they get in and the employee is like,
well, guess what, it's 37 degrees today.
She's like, wait, thank you so much.
So Jessel shows up and everything
and Jessel is not liking this.
She's like, she's making me do crazy shit.
I have to go into cold water.
Earlier I had to go eat a carol's bun.
I mean, what's next?
A bucket of worms gonna be dumped on my head.
Is this fear factor?
Cold water, this is what I always feel like
is splashed on me every time Parvat shows up naked
after going having one of his fried chicken bananas
in the West Village.
Cold plunge, that's gonna be the theme
of my 15 year anniversary.
So, Cy is like, don't worry, it helps you lose weight.
Don't worry about it.
And then the screen says Cy and S,
which is not real science.
Whoever came up with that, get a new job.
So then sigh is like
Hello there, this is a two-part recap, okay, this is the end of part one
So thank you so much for listening to this just come back a little later for part two
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