Watch What Crappens - #2583 RHOP 0901: Wiving Under the Influence

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

Karen Huger gets a DUI on the Real Housewives of Potomac season premiere, but you wouldn’t know that to hear her tell it. Also, new Housewives! To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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On Geobrobs, I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hi, Ben. Welcome to the show. Thanks. You're welcome to the show. Thanks you. Welcome to the show as well. Yes, I had a little crafty weekend so I have a new little set behind temporary for the new temporary set over here. Still construction world over here. What's going on with you? I had a crafty weekend. Also, I sewed myself a sweatshirt, which I was very excited about. It's an oversized floppy sweatshirt. Pictures of it on my Instagram. If anyone wants to give me a follow at Ben Mandelker, shamelessly,

shamelessly shilling my own Instagram because I forgot that I'm actually on a mission. I had so much fun over the summer making those videos for what you call it, those quests, iced coffees. I had so much fun making them. Then I was like, how do I do more things like this? Then I was told I have to get to 50,000 followers. Everyone give both me and Ronnie a follow because if I'm going to be aiming for 50,000, so should Ronnie. Do that so that way I can make more fun videos. I was not expecting to show my Instagram like that. Specifically ad videos.

I want to make ads. I'm asking you to make advertising. You always make creative video, you know. I could always do that. I know, but I need, you know what? I need deadlines. I can't just sit there and be like, what's my creative video going to be like today? I mean, does anyone want to see a video of me being like, hey guys, this is how I eat cereal. But if someone is like, what's my creative video gonna be like today? I mean, does anyone wanna see a video of me being like, hey guys, this is how I eat cereal. But if someone is like, hey,

could you make a video about making cereal and promote General Mills? I'll be like, I'll promote General Mills. And it's really even creativity if it's not funded by a corporation. Big Pharma, where are you at? I'm ready to make a video for you. Well, we are also funded by a corporation, gigantic one, that sends us things on Prime

Day. Well, they don't send it. We have to order it. I mean, they do send it. We have to pay for it. I don't want people to think we're getting some free Amazon Prime Days over here. God, wouldn't that be nice? We definitely don't. Oh my goodness. Well, we get free Amazon Prime Days if we, if we get 50,000 followers. You know what? I believe the answer would be no. Okay, everybody.

Welcome to the show. Tonight is crappy hour. That is our bi-weekly live show on YouTube live stream it on Instagram live occasionally if it works, but we're definitely on YouTube live. stream it on Instagram live, occasionally if it works. But we're definitely on YouTube live. That's 5.30 Pacific time every other Monday. Super fun. We talk to you, we talk to us, we talk about Bravo News.

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Sorry, we're not trying to hold anything hostage, but there's a ton of stuff going on, so that's just how it is right now. And speaking of tons of stuff going on, let's go to the new season of Real Housewives of Potomac. Well, Potomac is back. I'm not going to lie. I was a little scared. This is formerly maybe the best show on Bravo and at least top three and it just had a real bad season last year. The sort of bad season you have nightmares about if you're making these shows. It went from top tier to literally the worst show of the year on Bravo. And I was nervous, I was like, but I personally think that the changes they made were good

and I felt like there was a correction and I am cautiously very optimistic. I really liked the premiere to be honest. Well, that's good. I liked the changes they made as well. I think, I don't know. I was kind of meh on the newbies. They didn't seem to bring much, but then we saw the preview for the rest of the

year and that one is like, they're trying to break us up. And our husband said, they're not trying to break, they're not messing with us. They're messing with God. And I was like, oh, okay. So these people are crazy. So her crazy will come out a little bit later. And I'm not sure about the newbies yet so we'll see I mean I mean there's so many it's like it's like Potomac and Salt Lake City are both doing like like newbie auditions right now because I mean I thought cattle calls are bringing everybody in. I mean Salt Lake City had a lot of friends but this one was like I don't think I've seen so many friend-dubs in of in one season premiere

ever before. There must have been five. I have to say, when Wendy started the season off by waving around her five fucking diplomas or whatever she does and started talking about how she's going to do yet another business this year instead of her job, her job as an assistant professor, which she quit, I was like, okay, they've learned nothing. I'm going to watch her do the same thing over and over and happy Eddie walk around in happy Eddie branded sweatshirts. I didn't have a whole lot of hope. But, you know, I always enjoyed Potomac, even when it's bad, I still enjoy sitting there through Potomac. I mean, you still got Karen acting a damn fool. She's one of the most delusional

people on Bravo. And wow, the delusion is at its peak so far this season. Yeah, it's really strong. First of all, I think that when Wendy is brandishing her diplomas, that is when Wendy is actually at peak Wendy. I think Wendy in some ways is almost like the Heather Dubrow of this cast. Considering this is a cast that's a little Heather Dubrowish in general. These are sort of hoity-toity ladies or in general. These are hoity-toity ladies,

or they think that they're hoity-toity. But Wendy's whole thing, she's like, I'm from academia. I'm a little bit above these women. And so that's why when she does her made-for-TV businesses, it doesn't feel right because her lane is to be academically superior and looking down her nose. And I love that. I love that on these shows. So to me, having her start the season talking about her diplomas again was actually a comforting hug for me. And I think that what's so good about this premiere is that the relationship between Karen and Gisele is so special to me. It's a very special TV relationship because they are old friends and they're also old rivals. The quality of their frenemy ship is so pure. It's such a fascinating thing. Watching Gisele as we're about to talk about

bringing Karen out to some rinky-dink diner and under the guise of showing care for Karen while quietly airing her dirty laundry or not quietly but politely airing all her dirty laundry on camera. It's just so funny. It is so great to watch. It's just such a more compelling relationship and dynamic than Giselle and Robin. Yeah, it was nice seeing Robin not there. They even had the daily Robin phone call, but it was Ashley instead. I don't know. I said it was nice having Robin there,

not there. I don't know if I... Well, I think maybe I would like Robin as a friend of, because I still want to hear Robin on the other line going like And she's like, oh, you know, here's what I'm doing or she's doing her morning thing Is that a drag queen thing? They're putting a tea after a litter instead of every G. I'm like, okay, we get it You're you're a drag queen hilarious Get a new thing in like five years, but good morning We're going to a restaurant, whatever she's doing. I kind of would have liked to hear Robin on the end being a girl,

Karen, Karen got a DUI or whatever. And especially since they go to a pizza place and Robin ordered that fake pizza to Karen's house to prove that she didn't live in that house. I mean, there were so many parallels that kind of called to Robin that she wasn't here. Also, this would have been Robin's happy time to see Karen get a DUI and get to do so all season long. I think I would have liked to see a Robin victory dance, if she got out of bed to dance. Well, even if she did a dance from in her bed, she could have called on the phone and be like, I'm tired, but you're drunk. You know, I would have liked that.

Yeah, I actually think that there's definitely room for Robin to be a friend of. I think that she just had run her course as a full-time cast member. There was, I think, probably the first half of the series, I really enjoyed Robin. But as she started to become more and more of like a liar about Juan, and as she started to become more and more of a liar about Wan. And as she became really more outwardly hostile and unpleasant, it was not cool. And I actually think that Robin were on the cast, I don't think the premiere would have worked because I think what was so funny to me was the way that everyone was pretending to rally around Karen while they were all sharpening their knives and taking little stabs and building up to take bigger ones over the course of season.

Whereas Robin would have just out been outwardly hostile like, see you got to see why I'm like, I'm being supportive of you, but you would be supportive of one. It would have been like an annoying fight. And I think that the cheery passive aggressive aggression of the cast was so much more entertaining. OK, well, there you go. All right. Well, let's get out. So we start being here, everyone. Now we start with a reenactment. Like we're watching Oxygen like an Oxygen low rent murder show. OK, it's like two days March 19th, 2024, 11, 19 p.m. Karen Huger departs from dinner home.

Blurry vision. We see a car driving. They're doing like a reenactment of like a blurry car. I was worried, honestly, like right at the gate. I was like, Oh my God, we are starting with like fun and games, like silliness. But I think it was kind of like a half wink and half like, no, we're presenting this footage in earnest as if this is an oxygen reenactment. But the fact that they put up that this is a reenactment was so over the top, it was kind of their wink at the audience. And we do see this footage and we see the road. And I thought this was great because for years, we've been recapping the show since it began,

since it started. And since the first season, I believe, if there's one thing at Potomac we have always called out is the famous Potomac deer. There's always the deer. They always show the deer running around on this show. And here the deer finally got to play a role and it darted out in front of the camera. Swerved off the road and hit a tree.

Loses control, runs into a tree. The Potomac Deer finally got its revenge. We thought for years we thought it was cute. I liked it because it was like a murder mystery where suddenly, you know, there's someone in the background. It's always the one in the background that you don't suspect. And this time it was the deer. I can't wait till a duck actually like murder somebody. You know?

Yeah, the duck is next. It's going to show up with a little knife at Karen's door. So then Giselle, it's later, one month later. So Giselle is talking to Ashley on the phone, putting a T on everything. She's like, good morning. You know, I'm feeling like a million bucks out these streets. You know what I'm saying? She's like, a lot of cheese.

Lot of cheese. Zah! She's like, I bet you are girl because you are a million bucks baby. And she's like, yes, saw this morning. I'm heading to Karen's house. Zah! And Giselle is saying how basically Karen hasn't been out of the house. So she just wants to check in on Karen, make sure she's doing OK.

Yes, she hasn't been out since her DUI. She's like, I was in shock seeing that Karen has totaled her car, all the charges. We see headlines about the DUI. It's like, why wasn't Matt driving? That's actually not a headline. That was my question. Where's Matt? Where's Matt? Has Matt just taken on too many new housewives to kiss their ass like he's not there to help anymore? Like, where's Mr. Blue Eyes, you know, the guy that she was the driver that she was accused of banging all that time? Where's the arm candy? And by the way, Ashley is sure to say on camera over the phone, like, yeah, especially since it's her second offense. That's terrifying

to think about. I just slide that right in there for America, because I had totally forgotten that this was her second one. Yes. And then we find out it's not just driving under the influence, it's a lot. So here are ... I mean, she's like, my heart's sinking. I don't even understand the magnitude of what has happened. Scroll open. Look at all these charges. So, driving while impaired by alcohol,

driving while under the influence of alcohol. Wait a second, how many charges do you get for that? I mean, not to stand up for drunk drivers, but are you guys just coming up with ways to double it? Come on, that's one, one, you can't just, driving under the influence of alcohol, driving while impaired by alcohol, driving to a Wendy's drive-through while you had alcohol in your system, you know? Driving around a Keto's bottle. Come on, man. So, failure of licensee to notify administration of change of address within 30 days. Reckless

... Wow, they're really going for it. Reckless driving vehicle in wanton and fully disregard for safety of persons and property. Driving vehicle on the highway with suspended registration. Driving vehicle in excess of reasonable and prudent speed on highway. Negligent driving vehicle in careless and imprudent manner engaging property, life, and person, though you're to control vehicle speed on highway to avoid collision. This is a lot of charges that I think they've itemized charges that should be one charge. That's not fair, okay?

I'm saying this to the government, not to stand up for anybody here, but how is like driving recklessly, but also driving poorly, but also driving fast, but also driving badly? You also driving fast, but also driving badly. You can't give me a ticket for all that. What's my one ticket?

Speedy. Give me that. Well, in order to paraphrase my most famous line, you have to break laws in order to obey laws. That's Karen's logic. I could really show that I was obeying the laws to show that what it would look like when I break the law. That's all. Right.

I only broke those laws so everybody could see how law-abiding I've been all this time. It's called the contrast. Yeah. I learned that in fragrance school. Exactly. So this was my smoky era. Mm-hmm. My woody era.

Okay. Somewhere Monique is sighing a breath of relief that she is no longer the one who crashed into a tree. Because of a deer as well. Don't forget. Curiously. Not only was it because of a deer, it was also because of a deer, it was also because of

a tree. Monique tried to blame everything in nature that day. She was like, you know, the deer then there was a small tree that I didn't know was a tree because it was so small but it was a tree. But then so I hit that which made me hit a bigger tree. I mean, these fucking trees, man. Yeah. So Giselle says, Wow, a DIY, a DWI, a gift card to DSW, unregistered driver's license, an unregistered car. Karen and I have been friends for a long time and I care about her. I love her. I'm going to be there for her, whatever she needs.

And especially if it means she needs public humiliation, I will do it for her. Yes. I think Gisel will be bullying Karen for the rest of the season. But I love that she's at least starting like this. She's like, remember, we're friends now, wah. Let's watch it all go to hell. Wendy's like, my first thought was, is she okay?

My second thought was, I hope none of her degrees get burned in the crash. My third thought was, ha ha, she doesn't have degrees like I do. And then after that, I was just shocked, shocked that she made so many headlines. I mean, that's pretty wild. I think we should all be responsible. And Mia said, you can do what you want. Endanger yourself, endanger your car, but do not endanger the pot. If you need to endanger yourself, endanger Simon. Just put Simon out. Wait, who's Simon?

We're getting crappy hour ready for tonight. And I was just reading Simon news about Portia. Oh, this is Simon and Portia news? Oh, jeez. Oh, just divorce. He's trying to get shit granted in his divorce. Whatever. So, she's like, do not endanger Ing.

Do not endanger my children. Endanger my husband. Okay. So Ashley's like, yeah, you know, Karen's gotten a DUI before. But wow, I'm just surprised she's a repeat offender. I just feel so bad for saying this again, because remember she got a DUI before. This is so terrible. I hope I never have to say this again, because she's also had a DUI before guys. But you know what? I understand because I'm a repeat offender of mentioning that Karen's a repeat offender.

And then Giselle is, Ashley says, you know, the woman that I know, the mother, the businesswoman, the wife, all those things that she prides herself on that she does very poorly too. I never thought that Karen would put herself in this situation, but it was very funny if you think about it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who'll fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you'd want your own children defended.

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Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. So then Giselle comes to Karen's and Karen, of course, answers the door like she's shocked. She's like, Giselle comes to Karen's and Karen of course answers the door like she's shocked. She's like, Giselle. Ray, I'm going with Giselle. Just be quiet, Ray. Ray, don't try to shuffle to the front door. Ray. Ray is shuffling to the front door. Ray, at least bring a broom to drag behind you so something gets cleaned up once you shuffle. She's like, please leave the house. So, Gisele, you're very beautiful.

I hope you guys have a wonderful day today. He's like, finally, I can watch the golf channel in peace. I really like that one lady on it. So Ray, they they they get they go off. And Gisele's like, well, I'm not I'm going to make sure that we're we're not going to drive by the crash site. Can you drive by? Is it triggering at all? I don't know why that was funny to me.

Hello, I'm picking you up for lunch. I know that you're traumatized by this DUI. Let's not talk about it on camera. Do you, are you going to be triggered if we drive past the spot because you got a DUI? Would you not like me to drive there because you got a DUI? Do you want to drive there? Will you say it? Will you cry? Does it make you want to drink? I know you probably don't want to relive this, but do you mind if we take route four?

Because I know it's the trauma site, but it's also the fastest way. No, no, oh, because you're DUI. DUI trauma, yes. Oh, sorry about that for bringing it up yet again. And Karen's like, oh, it's not triggering. It's not triggering. You know, it's the cause. It's just a space just a place in the world. I'm the deer deer that's passing. I'm saying now that's a trigger. Oh, I've been brought down by a set piece. Well, it was pretty scary when that one deer took its hoof and put it across his neck like, I'm going to get you. It slid its neck. So Karen's like,

Is it the wig I left at the crash site? Now that's triggering. Sinking a deer in my old wig. Get back here, dear. Since the accident, I've had a lot of time to reflect. Accidents happen, especially when you're driving drunk. And while I cannot talk about things in detail because the case has not been adjudicated, I will say this. No, dear, shall be safe from prosecution.

I have been falsely framed by every single who've done a bill in this county. Yeah, she's like, I understand the value of life more than ever now. She's like making it like, I'm heroic, guys. I've survived this. Where's my purple fucking heart? I cannot talk about it, but I'm the victim in this situation. Now, the fact that she's taking this road is crazy. And I know that they happened, you know, she didn't have time to watch Orange County before she decided how to shoot the season. But man, Shannon really handled this a lot differently. Shannon was like, I did everything wrong. Nothing I did was right. I am completely sorry.

You know, she just took, she just came and took full accountability. And Karen's like, I am being, this is a conspiracy theory. And they're all out to get me including the deer. So wait for details. You're going to be shocked. She basically is going to try to get out of this one. So and she talks about how basically the only injuries that she has are she goes, she goes, thank God, my injuries are not life threatening. I was like, yes. And she is, her ribs and her ankle are really the issue here. So they get to a place called the Tally Ho restaurant.

It's like a greasy spoon, which I think is funny that they're going there. And this manager comes by, his name's Andreas. He's like, oh yes, Karen, please, please order. Would you like the Karen special? Oh, it's French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon. I was like, wow, this could be a little bit more elevated than that. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love all those things. But I thought it was going to be something like poached egg on a bed of

lettuce and beautiful sauces and whatever. But it's just like, French toast. A normal order. It's just what Karen orders. Karen's special, basic, something completely basic. So Giselle's like, so, you know, we want to make sure that you're happy because we do need to have a real conversation. Now, let me start out by saying, I am very, very glad that you're okay because I could not imagine something really,

really happening to you. And it took me, you know, it took me back. I know you well enough to know that you don't do stupid stuff. She's like, I don't, I don't do stupid stuff. So when I saw all the citations, the DUI, the DWI, the driving while fast, the driving while intoxicated, the driving under the influence, the driving under the influence of not having a license that Yes, yes, you know the way that you highway robbery the way that you rock. Yes

Yes Stealing money embezzlement of cars we can just say etc. That's all right now But it was uncharacteristic of the Karen that I know Hmm and she goes well, it's a legal matter. Of course, I will say this to you. You do know your friend and I can't wait for the truth to come out. And you will all see that it was a conspiracy of deal that ran me off the road and poured vodka all over my face. Karen just says like, well, what's going on with that?

Because you have to go to court at some point. I mean, there are 19 charges. I didn't even finish them. Kidnapping a dog. Stealing jewelry. Too weird, can we get some more Kevin special over here? I don't think we need to fill Gisele's mouth with something.

So when do you go to court? And she goes, oh Gisele's mouth with something. So when do you go to court? And she goes, oh, Giselle, you can read. It's not even clear if I'm going to court or not. I think it's gonna be up to the deer, apparently. Some say I'm going to face a tribunal of various bucks and doze, and I'm gonna plead my case there. We'll see.

By the way, Karen looks like a computer that needs to be restarted. It's like slow like the beach ball is spinning. Her eyes are half closed. Did you notice this? I noticed that she had one eye was half closed the entire episode. Yes. And she's just like kind of doing that lip purse thing she does. But it's just like, every time I make this this sound it's when I'm pursing my

lips it's just going like this she sort of is she's kind of giving like mr. potato head like there's like two different eyeballs that have been inserted in the holes of the wrong one up a little higher ones a little bit lower in the eye hole in the ear in the nose hole. Yeah, something's like a little off. Yeah, I definitely noticed that. Like it was like her eyes, something was something has like went wonky in her face. Like something about this accident caused her facial features to sort of like go off, go askew. Yeah, I love to move the filler around or if she's enzoed out.

Like, I'm not really sure what's going on. My friend just got filler and that is something like you can feel, it's like putty in your mouth. So I would imagine maybe something like that could like move your filler. Like if you sleep on your face too much, I told them, please don't sleep on your face because then half your face is going to be over here. You know, you're going to just like have all this filler like and then this side is going to look like weird and gaunt, you know? Yeah, it's just, I mean, she, you know, it's, it's like,

if you knock over a vase and you glue it back together, it's always going to be like a little off. And that's kind of, I think what happens. She's back, but she's leaking slightly. Her super glue was like 97% there. So Giselle's like, I'm not being out here shady and messy. No, this is not that. I really just like trying to be supportive in a shady and messy sort of way.

I care about her. I love her. I want people to know that she was driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license and driving a unicycle without a proper permit, etc. All right, all right, all right. By the way, how is Ray with all this? And she's like, well, I just listen, I everything that I'm going through, we're going through a lot, me and Ray, and I can't blame Ray for any of it.

And I, but I am blaming myself for not speaking up of what I'm going through with Ray. Have you ever seen him look for a remote control? He literally loses it every five seconds. Mmm. One minute he has a remote control, the next minute he doesn't have it. Where's the remote control? It's five hours of my day looking for this remote control. Has Ray put an air tag on the remote control?

He lost the air tag. Mmm. I'm just asking put an air tag on the remote control, he lost the air tag. I'm just asking for a little emotional support. You know, how about let's sing the jingle for safe flight repair and more. Karen, how was your day today? And of course, this is Karen. So what does Karen do every time she's confronted or she's in the wrong or she needs to apologize but doesn't want to? She talks about her parents dying every single time. Does this make her parents dying less sad? Of course not. That is so sad. But girl, you can't use it every

time something happens. It's like, Karen, you need to wait for the light to change. My mother passed! No! Can't do that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I felt I feel cruel, but I have to be honest as a viewer. When she was talking about how she really had not taken the time to grieve her parents, I totally see that as a real thing. Girl, you not only took the time to grieve your parents, you took my time grieving your parents. We've been watching you grieve for three years. What are you talking about? You say you go to the farm, we say you go to Surrey County, we've seen balloons, we've seen the whole thing.

Not saying that like, oh, and then that's a tidy bow and you fixed it all. So I totally hold space. I am aware, grieving is a long, tough process. And I don't doubt that it actually does. It was part of the situation, but she's acting like she just has not even talked about it. I'm like, feel like we've been processing a lot of this.

We've been watching you process a lot of this, Karen. Like you got a DUI. This is going to be on you. And you're trying to get, she's kind of trying to imply like, Oh, I'm not going to blame Ray, but like he has been less worth coming to right like he hasn't been as loving to me. You know, Oh my god, Ray is barely Ray is barely moving. Man is just like

the man is a blanket that breathes at this point. Okay. So stop blaming Ray. Stop blaming your parents passing which of course, yes is very sad. I'm not taking that away from you, but stop. You got the DUI. You cannot come in here crying about what life did to you. You did this to other people. You need to just fucking stop. I cannot believe that no one has told her you need to go in there contrite.

I mean, any defense lawyer will tell you, put on a suit even if you don't have one, look like you care and just be sad. Say you found God. I mean something. What the hell? Honestly, if you have a DUI, she should be so lucky that she's not causing some other people to have to process some grief. So Gisele is like, well, you know what is so crazy? Not crazy, but funny is that you well, you know what is so crazy? I mean, not crazy, but like sort of funny

is that you look like you take care of yourself. And all the times, all through the years, it's like, Karen has got it together. And it's like, cut to Karen with like her eyeball, one eyeball in her forehead, one eyeball down my her chin, and just like, I'm totally fine. So, and then- Karen is together, you're talking out of your forehead.

Like her mouth is just up here. Like, Karen is together, you're talking out of your forehead. Like her mouth is just up here. Like Karen is together. I don't want to blame Ray, all right? Karen? Karen is like human word scramble. Karen, I don't know if this happened during the arson, the burglary, the hate crimes, the assault. All right, that's enough.

She's still moving her mouth back. Is it in the right place now? Yes, but your eye is still blinking on your ear. And then we see a close up of Karen's fingers that have bandages, like little band-aids on them. It's like, well, I do like to present like I've got it together. But the truth is, I've been so angry. I've been fury typing for the past few weeks. So now I've got band-aids on my fingertips.

It's not like I didn't sustain any injuries, I'm basically my left footing at this point, Giselle. So then a donut arrives and Giselle's like, how did we get a donut? And Andrea's the manager goes, oh, well, Karen, she's an amazing customer. Oh, and she comes here all the time. And I just want you to know that this woman has never had a drink here. Just decided to put that out there for everyone here, including the baby that's been bouncing around in the background of this entire scene. No one's accusing her of having a drink there, Andreas.

They're having her, they're accusing her of having lots of drinks while she was driving on a road at night, okay? Fucking Andreas. Glad you're going to keep your fucking pancake order up. I know that would have broken you had you lost that customer. But anyway, Karen high fives him. And then Giselle goes, well, you don't serve alcohol, sir. So how could she have a drink here? And I was like, ooh, score. And he goes, well, look at the ladies behind you then. And she does. They're all like, cheers. They've all got beer.

I know Fran and Jeannie back there and the baby are all like the baby. Even the baby is like holding up some beer in its little bottle. Yeah. The baby's got powder all over its nose. It's like, wow, what's going on at this pizza place? It's a baby powder. So, it just sounds like, well, you're looking out for the grandamma. I appreciate that. And she's basically like, yeah, she's probably paid him off. This feels like a setup. Yeah. So she's like, on another note, I know that somebody is having a birthday. So I just wanted to have a little lunch for you for your birthday. Let's have a little lunch for you. What was Karen's birthday? Was it the five nine? What was her

birthday last year that she kept on saying that? No, I just don't remember. Last year was the six. So it was the triple. It was the triple 20s. It was the 2020 20. Oh, the year before that was the five nine. Yeah, five nine. Last year was the 2020 20. The triple 2020 2020 all the time. Which is funny because they opened this like Karen was starring in her own episode of 2020. So... So Gisele's like, well, I know that someone is having a birthday.

So I wanted to have a little lunch for you for your birthday, where we could highlight that you're so old and also remind everyone that you got a DUI and a DWI and a D2D and an old lady driving off the road. All right. Misty list. All right. Now here, swing of lists. Give me the list of who are you inviting?

My birthday. And we find out that there's, you know, it's the regular suspects except for the people who quit and or got fired. And then we're bringing Wendy and Jacqueline. Okay. And then we're going to invite Vivian because you know, Karen loves Vivian. So Karen's going to bring in a couple of friend of she's got Vivian and yeah, May I add, May I add because Vivian's going to be there. Well, let's bring Stacey. That would be nice. I love Stacey. Surely Stacey will never turn on me.

There are so many friend devs on this episode. It's about to turn into a Lubega song. It's like literally just a little bit of Vivian on the side, a little bit of Stacey by my side as well. Two people by my side, a lot of people by my side. It's the Countess Luan version of Lubega. And Giselle's like, oh, let me look at my list of other people we've invited. Let's see here. There is hijacking, fraud, misdemeanor penalties, kidnapping.

All right, so what are That's what you're doing, Giselle. All right, all right. Yes, I can invite those people and, well, definitely invite Stacey. And Karen's like, Stacey and I, I've known Stacey through Vivian for about five years. I like Stacey. The way she said it, I just don't believe her.

I like Stacey. I'm just not doing to believe her. She's ready to murder Stacey because she thinks Stacey's going to take her place. And she's not wrong because Stacey comes on and she's like, wow, basically exactly like Karen, we're exactly the same person. But now you have me, a fresher non-DUI version. Babbage! And we see that Stacey was up in Philadelphia because she was working for QVC.

I'm assuming she was working for QVC until she got a better offer from Bravo. And I think it's so funny that it seems like every year the way a season of Potomac begins is someone moving to Potomac and they're like, oh, I just got a house in Potomac. I don't know why it's funny. What a coincidence. It's annoying. Yeah, and it's just annoying because they don't know anything. I don't know why it's funny. When it comes to this, it's annoying. Yeah, and it's just annoying because they don't know anything. They don't know where anything is. You need people from Potomac. There has to be crazy rich ladies in Potomac. Call them, you guys. But yeah, they didn't learn their

CS Bravo. Not learning their lesson. This just happened last year, guys. We're not learning. But yeah, they've got her. then i wanna say something about qbc can you see what should be a gold mine because the people on that channel are god damn liars and we see an example of it when they show a clip of her later right now stacey's on qbc and it's got all the sex on little rinky dink bracelet with the silver cross on it and she is guys just wanna throw that out there. If you're looking for a Mother's Day present, I would love to get this for Mother's Day. You would not. That thing looks like it's from one of those claw machines and a fucking Chuck E. Cheese.

Liar. Can't wait to see what you do on this cast, man. Well, enough talking about me and your DUI, y'all. Yes, yes. So everyone's good. Ashley's good. And she's like, yes, Ashley's good. Da. Mia's on a world vacation.

And I'm like, what's the DJ's name? So then they start to shade ink because Karen calls him DJ Applebox because he needs an Applebox to stand next to Mia to be at her height. DJ Applebox. That's so rude. But also, isn't Ray a lot shorter than her? Not that hypocrisy is male, but No, just older. He's just drinking. So, I was like, yeah, they never take a picture together. She's like, oh, what they do, she's behind him trying to make him look taller. Stop. Just stop it.

We see all these photos where Mia is so far away. It's like when you go to a science museum, they go there's the room that teaches you about perspective, where the ceiling gets lower so you look like a giant. He's so far ahead of her. Are you guys in line for something during the pandemic? What are you standing six feet away? Oh, God, it's hilarious. Leave that man alone. He's a shorty and it's okay. Ink, is it? Ink is his name? Ink? DJ Applebox? And Gisele's like, well, she looks happy. So that's fine. It's just been so fast. You know, you're moving one man out, one man in all at the same time. It's revolving door. Oh, Gisele, stop with your judging of other people's men.

Okay? Don't you have a casting call for your latest? Go do that. I know. Well, I mean, to be fair, it's one man out, one man in. It's dizzying, like Karen on a highway. So Karen's like, well, I want to know what the babies are. That's all I want to know.

Not sure what their names are, but as long as they are babies and they're okay, I'll be happy. It's like me too, me too, which is funny. Yeah, so then, um, yeah, uh, Karen's like, oh God, I have real stuff to handle. And so Giselle says, well, Karen, I have to take you home because you're all being real shady. And she's like, well, this is good stuff. You know, you should have picked me up sooner. If I'd known that you were actually going to be nice for an entire lunch, I would have come out and pretended that I knew who you were when you came to my door. Or I'm sorry I turned the sprinklers on.

It's just, it's just the thing. Oh. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now we go over to Mia, Gordon, the kids, and they're getting ice cream. Mia's like, Gordon, they're separated, but having the children's father back in their life is really important to me. She basically talks about that they're co-parenting, etc. Then they're talking with their kids, like, oh, I was excited to have dad here.

She says that Gordon has moved into the building that she lives in, which is great for the co-parenting, but I'm linking her for me trying to have my sneaky links, you know? It's not really a sneaky link anymore. Yeah. So then they send the kids out to play and so we see the kids playing and stuff and Gordon's like, uh, you know, great. Glad we found something that worked for you and me. Huh?

During his mouth-wrapping thing as he watched him play, he's obviously upset. Yes, he's, he is so unhappy. And she's like, Well, you know, like, we've come a long way, but I feel like we're finally in good, good space. And I personally feel I mean, I don't know how you feel, but I personally feel like I gave everything and I had in me for our marriage. I, you know, when you give yourself over

to the joint chiropractic, you were basically a hero. I gave everything I could to our marriage. You were literally cheating on him for a decade right in front of his face. And then you left him. He would have let you keep cheating. He would have let you keep cheating. And then you left him. He would have let you keep cheating. He would have let you keep cheating. You still fucking left him.

What are you talking about? You did everything. I did everything to fix this or at least make you not mad about my current affair while you still had money in the account. But now that you know. I pretended like I cared about moving brochures on a desk at the joint camera project. It was a lot for me. Yeah. So then he's like, well, that's your perspective and you're certainly entitled to it.

Oh, so you don't feel like I gave everything. You literally took everything. You literally took everything and you spent it on a rental that you left. Yeah. And he's like, well, I think you gave a lot, but I don't on a rental that you left. Yeah. And he's like, well, I think you gave a lot, but I don't think you went that last step. And she said, well, what's the last step? Because the last step is to separate and not to run to someone else. He's basically like, you overlapped with ink and you should not have done that. And so she's like, well, I wasn't running directly to anyone's arms,

which she was. And he's like, well, I wasn't running directly into anyone's arms. Which she was. And he's like, well, you're in. I swerved. It was a deer. I was trying to walk to you, but a deer jumped out in the road and I just swerved and I ended up inside ink. So Gordon's like, you did. And so don't deny that.

And then we literally see a picture of Mia in ink's arms. As she's saying, I did not run directly into anyone's arms as her in Inks arms. Yeah. So he's like, please hear me. She goes, well, look, he says, if that's your position, I get it. I was mean to you. I admit it. Please hear me.

I regret that. And she's like, well, it's important for us to really focus on co-parenting our babies. But I know you had mentioned earlier, you don't want Jeremiah getting any haircuts with anybody else. And he's like, yeah. It's like not anyone else. It's like you said it. And she's like, but that's parent co-parenting. He's not a parent. Okay, that's not a part of it. Okay. And she's like, well, he is not trying to replace you. Okay. He just, he's more just like a new Gordon, but he's not a replacement if that makes sense.

So you know, ink is coming this week, this, this weekend, almost like you could say ink coming, ink coming as Joe Gordon. Can you at least laugh? Come on, a little levity. He's not laughing. And then she's like, yeah, he's not coming, but he's coming this weekend. And the only thing he does want to do is to get a paternity test. And then we see a flashback to the reunion where Gordon is like, I'm 100% Jeremiah is

my kid. And she's like, well, you actually don't. We come back and she's like, you told the world that I didn't know who the father of my child is, so you started something, so you finish it on camera. We started traumatizing our children on camera, and now we're going to finish traumatizing our children on camera. Yeah, this is such a sad storyline. We keep cutting to the kids playing, and you know that Jeremiah has no idea about this, and you that this is like future sessions. He's just licking his ice cream, literally beaming at the cameras. He's like, look, I got ice cream. What could go wrong?

I mean, this is going to mess with him a bit. This is going to require therapy. And this is now innocently playing. He's got like a little hat on that's got like this is going to require therapy. And it's now innocent, like innocently playing. He's got like a little hat on that's got like this green thing on it. And it's like really sad. It's a, it's like a really kind of sad fucked up scene. And basically she's like, Inc wants to do a paternity test. And now Gordon all of a sudden is like, no, he's like, he's like, now are you concerned that if you get a paternity test that I could show that Jeremiah is not mine?

And she's like, well, it's only the mass of Melanie. So don't think that Jeremiah is going to grow up and say, mommy, who's my daddy? And he's like, just tell him who his daddy is. And so she's like, yeah, well, he's going to grow up and he's going to potentially come across this and I don't want him to question it later in life, you know? So she wants him to know who his rightful father is. And this is so fucked up. If you really wanted him to know who his rightful father was, why didn't you figure that out when you were pregnant

with him in the first place? What the fuck is wrong with you? She's so fucking Looney Toons. This is not cool to do this to the kid. They've already fucked with the kid by bringing it up one time. Do it off camera. Do it before the season even starts shooting. So you have to be like, Gordon, this scene should have started. Gordon, we took the paternity test. We found out you're not his father.

That doesn't mean you're not. It just means that biologically you're not. So... Yeah, they are using this as a storyline. It's fucked up. You know, like I, you know, I, I like when our real housewives are not afraid to show warts and all and are like, this is what's going on in my life. Um, but I think when it, when it comes to something like this, that really could be so hurtful to the,

to the kid. Um, it's, it feels like Mia is, this is, this doesn't feel right. So now we go over to Ashley, who is meeting up with her attorney Maria. Maria is like, ooh, I'm gonna be on camera. Let me put out a fresh new spider plant on a table for the scene. So they are gonna talk about what's going on with the divorce.

It's been two years since the separation. And Ashley's like, well, before I was like, kind of like dragging my feet because a little because I was just like content where, you know, things were and, you know, I'm just like ready to start dating. So, yeah, so basically she wants to get a divorce at last. Yeah, she's finally ready to go through with her divorce. Still hasn't done it, by the way. Still hasn't all these months later. Still not done it. But she's gonna test drive some cars,

which of course she's got to bring up on the Karen DUI episode. And I'm ready to get in as many driver's seats as necessary in order to find the right person for me. Just hopefully Karen's not on the road while I'm doing it. Yeah, exactly. And so we see Ashley on a date with a soccer player named Bill

and he's like, cute and you know, they're flirting and he's like, am I tooting your horn too much today? I'm like, wow, there's a really a lot of car references. A lot of cars. He's like, while we're driving, let's toot that horn, baby. This guy, Faker, don't date him. He's like, ha ha, tooting that horn a bit too much today. No, calling someone pretty is not to a bit too much today. No, calling someone pretty is not tooting it too much. And if you even think like that, I don't want to be with you. You know, like, I tooted your horn enough yesterday. Today I'm going to be a dick. No. So he's a professional athlete, so he cannot be trusted. And then we go to a clip with a guy

named Jose, who's a political operations director, also cannot be trusted. And she's like, so have you ever dated someone who's older than you? He goes, I'm 31, 32 at the max. She's like, I'm 35. And he's like, oops, sorry. Yeah. And then she's like, vroom, vroom, baby, vroom, vroom. For test driving, I guess. So then the lawyer Maria is like, we need a mediation date before Labor Day. Okay? It would be me and you in the room, him and his attorney in the room, the ring in the center of the room so he has something to distract him, to salivate over while we're trying to get what you want. All right? Now we're going to go to a retired judge who would act as a mediator between the two rooms. Okay? There's going to be a big vat of lava. Okay? So if

he tries to get to you, he could fall down into the lava or he could grab onto the side of the walls because let's face it, he's no stranger to it. Well, a big thing will definitely be the custody. Yes, I'm prepared for that. And if things go wrong, if he winds up getting his hand on that ring, I have a big plan. We're bringing in Katie Ross X, distract Michael with his butt. We're gonna get out of there with the ring in the custody. You'll be all set. So she's like, well, I think he'll give me custody.

I'm being optimistic. I put in all my affirmations. And the lady just looks at her like, wow, great. Get a job. How about that? Yeah, affirmations, they always work so well with force mediations. So then we go to Wendy, who is carrying a box full of various diplomas and awards and photos and basically all her superstar status things. And she puts up an award. Here's my awards, baby. Got all my awards

box for the first scene of the season. Okay, okay, Wendy, congratulations. You're doing great, Wendy. Doing great. She puts up one of them, like an award or a diploma or something, and she goes, I will remember this. I'm like, really? So do we, because you mention it every single episode.

And he comes in and his happy Eddie shirt. I'm like, these fucking two, Jesus. The happy Eddie show is the end. It was never really, it was never a thing with the audience. The audience never was like, oh my God, Happy Yeti, Happy Yeti. It's not like Giovanni, okay? Happy Yeti was a one-off thing from two seasons ago. It didn't catch on last season.

It's time to sunset it like your professor career. But it's the, you know, it's his business. So now he's, because the Happy Yeti weed or whatever. So now he's doing it to promote the business every episode, which I get, it's the you know, it's his business. So now he's gives the happy Eddie weed or whatever So now he's doing it to promote the business every episode which I guess like the tree is the housewives thing It's like Teresa walking in every episode with the shirts. It's like So, I mean I get it but psychology so it's just it's just a first scene it's like, okay Let's from let's remember why this couple is here to promote, to promote stupid shit on one hand and to promote other stupid shit.

The other hand, diplomas and shit. It's like, wow, congratulations. You're bringing nothing. It's just a huge sign that Wendy is here to bring absolutely nothing. Again, glad you got another note. Go around, Wins. So Wendy has decided that she is going to finally resign as a professor. It's something she's wanted to do for a very long time. She's looking at her box and she looks at her diploma and she goes, you know, I haven't known life outside of me being a professor. And they showed like an endless montage of her being like, I got four degrees, four degrees. I'm a professor. I went to college. I'm a PhD four degrees. And then it just cuts to a clip of Giselle going, awesome robbery, kidnapping, to the hell stop listing my crimes during someone else's team.

Sorry. That's off limits. Bleeding someone else's off limits. You can't just bleed into someone else's flashback. So Wendy's like, you got to move some of the stuff in this office. And he's like, no, no, no, you said you're leaving. You didn't say you were coming to my office. I mean, what the hell? This is my office. And she's like, well, it's just space.

But now I'm going to resign. I need a space where I can go do things. He's like, no, you do plenty of stuff not here. You can do plenty of not stuff not here. Okay. Are we to believe? Do nothing over there. Don't do nothing over here.

Are we to believe this couple, this like highly educated professional couple that went through a pandemic together does not have two workspaces in this McMansion? This was fake. I guess not. Yeah, I don't know. I'm calling bullshit. There are two dozen. They have a lot of kids too, you know?

So who knows? Let me tell you something. All those McMansions have those alcoves and loft spaces and they're not just all rooms. Let me tell you something. I bet we could go through the footage and find another desk. I'm sure there were other scenes and other home offices in this place. This is all fake. And then she sits down and writes her resignation email, which I'm sure she had sent off two months prior So but she sends it off saying dear Dean and chair

I've decided I'm going to quit even though I have four degrees which I do have maybe more than the entire History department of and government department of Johns Hopkins University. I've decided to pursue other things like I have of Johns Hopkins University. I've decided to pursue other things like tormenting Karen. I have four, like tormenting Karen, sorry I cut you off there. I have four points of contention. One, I have a degree.

Two, I have two degrees. Three, I could go on. Four, still got degrees. Five, also a trophy, because I won something, so I quit. Bye. Six and seven, happy and Ness. So then, I guess I had more than four points. So anyway, so she sends off the email and she's sort of like, oh my God, like now what do I do?

And she's basically saying that the one she feels she feels great about her decision, but she is worried about her mom Because you know her mom has been the one that's like you are gonna be a professor for the rest of your life So don't even entertain these thoughts. Oh her mom's not her mom's gonna be fine. She just gets still gets camera time It's not like she said she quit the Real Housewives. Then she'd be real pissed. Yeah So I didn't know you could quit jobs that big like that just in an email like hey, hey, professorship of a giant, giant classy school. Yeah, I don't want to I don't want to come in anymore. Bye. I thought you had to like, have a meeting and have

votes and have I don't know. Vote, you know vote to resign. She probably did have that and she probably had to send an email as a formality, that way it's in writing, I imagine. So you don't think she just quit by email? I think she did, I think she just quit by email. No, I think she probably talked to like her, like the chair of her department and it was like,

Bill, I wanna talk to you. I think that while it's really great working at this prestigious university, it's more fun selling candles on TV. So therefore, Bill, I want to spend more time with my children. And he was probably like, really? Not really, but I just didn't know what else to say. I'm famous now and I don't need you. Bye. So now we go to Karen arriving at a store called Anya by Vivian and we meet Vivian who is a new friend of there is no Anya though. So those who are wondering what happened with Anya is Anya like Vivian's Frankenstein's

monster like some sort of like some sort of beast she keeps in the closet. It's like I've created someone named Anya. Do you think it's like Kyle Richards, Aileen too, where Anya is just someone you've never seen? I'm like, I think so, yes. So then let's see. So yeah, she goes in to see Vivian and Karen's like, oh, I've known Vivian forever.

And we see a clip of Vivian from 2021. They said hello to each other. She's like, we're both business owners, we both raise children, we're both broad, we're both beautiful, we're both tallish. One of us has an eye that is not closing throughout this episode. I'm really sorry. I'm not sure what that is. We've both been tormented by local deer. We're victims to doe activity. And now she has a fabulous boutique owner. She is a fabulous boutique owner in a local mall. At which point Vivian's chances to be a full-time cast member

faded into the sunset. I don't think boutique owner at a mall is going to work for Bravo. Really? Well, they put her on. Also, I feel like that was such a diss from Karen. Didn't that feel like a diss? And she's like, and now here she is, a boutique owner at a local mall, even a national mall. Here she is, someone who comes home from a long day at work smelling like the Quiznos next door, because she works at a mall. Strip mall, that is. To see her strive, to see her serve, to see her sab to see her Sarah to see her tomorrow. I'm sorry. I was getting a few times I saw next to her next to a store.

The adversity that she has overcome, for instance, learning how to paint this parking spot is reserved for Anya by Vivian customers only on that little bump on the parking lot. She's a strong woman. Only on that little bump on the parking lot. She's a strong woman So she is looking for pink and They're gonna do some dresses so then Stacy comes in the other noob and Stacy's like I did somebody say pink I love pink. Look at me. I'm in pink right now And everyone's like, oh my god, you're so pretty and pink. You too. We love each other. We're such good friends.

She's like, I have a gala and I need to look amazing. And like, well, that's not hard. Stacy. Now who are you again? Who was this woman that I just talked to? She's like, I'm the new cast member. So I actually met Karen at an event. Vivian invited me, and as soon as I met Karen, we just hit it off. Well, more like she hit my table when she was drunk and walked right into it by accident. All the glasses shook. It was hilarious.

We were basically- To be fair, she thought it was a deer. That left eye has never been the same. We're basically the same people. And I lived in Philly when I worked for QVC, but I left QVC, but I'm happy to be back at the DMV where I belong, QVC, DMV. I'm only doing things with three letters.

So can we please talk about this invitation? And Karen's like, well, you have it on your phone. I sent it to you. And we see this, Giselle has done this invitation and Karen's like, well, you have it on your phone. I said it to you. And we see this, Giselle has done this invitation for Karen's birthday luncheon with Cal making like beats in the background. And it's like a hat party. And Giselle is- I'm sorry. It's a hatitude. Hatitude. And she's basically, you know, inviting everyone to come to the hat party and she's saying

like, well, if you get in, it's a hatatoo-da party and leave your hatatoo-da at home, because if you get an attitude, you will turn into a taco head or a banana head. And she starts putting hats on. She puts like a taco hat on and a banana head on. I'm not really sure what she's doing, but here's what I know. Even her invitations are low rent. Really the taco hat? It's like a dollar store taco hat, Giselle.

Make an effort, Giselle. I know. What happened to the days of sending a mime to terrorize her castmates to invite them to a party? Oh, that's a good old days, right? So then Karen's like, well, the first time she threw a party for me, she sat in my birthday seat. She's still holding on. Row back.

Oh, the drama I've enjoyed with my parents, Ray, Giselle taking my birthday seat in season one. You know, I was thinking about what Giselle did to me sitting in my seat all those years ago, and I think that's why I swiped off the road. So you see, it wasn't even my fault. It was Gisele who did it to me. So then Vivian's like, well, I guess we'll see how that goes. Let's look at some big dresses. And then Stacy's like, I just have an important question. When are we opening the champagne? Ha ha ha ha ha. So they do and they look at dresses and stuff. And then Stacy's like, Oh my gosh, wait a minute. Are we allowed to drink in front of you, Karen? Are you triggered? What?

Oh, that was a nice for Karen already. I love it. Are we can we drink? And she goes, Oh, yes, yes. Yes. No. Yes. I mean, I have I'm on a medication. Soon I'll be drinking again soon. By the way, where's your ring? By the way, are you alone? Did you get the vault? Did you get dumped? Let's bring that up to where you have a rock on your hand. What happened to your rock? And she's like, oh yeah, well, I have been separated for a year, like you and your license.

She's like, we are such good friends that you guys didn't even know I'm separated for an entire year. So now we're gonna get a divorce. And she's like, oh no. So then Stacy says, you know, a lot of this had to do with her coming home, to be honest with you. So you left your husband to come do a TV show. That's something. That's a choice. That's a choice there.

Well, I am here for you, especially now that I know that you don't have an institution that could even threaten my institution. So here, here, poor divorcing woman, come into the arms of your sweet, sweet Auntie Karen." And then they are like, toasting a friendship and everything. It's not looking good for Stacey. Leaving your husband to come on the Housewives show when you're not really even guaranteed more than the season. I feel like they don't like the housewives to be that desperate where they're like, need the job that much or want the job that much. But maybe I'm wrong, you know? But I feel like we like to see them get desperate over time. Not start out that way. But I don't know. I mean, Sonja Morgan always worked and she was pretty desperate

in the beginning. So now it's the day of the attitude party and Gisele is at the restaurant. She's setting everything up and she brought a bunch of hats and Ashley arrives first and Ashley's like, oh, she's like, do you think that Karen's going to enjoy my bounce back basket? I have a little water bottle for her because she has to drink water drink water. She can drink alcohol and I got her some Uber cards because she can't drive right now. Well, she couldn't really drive before but she didn't stop her, you know. And oh, I also got her a paint a birdhouse because she needs something to do. She got Karen and she doesn't even say it with a smirk. It's just so shady. She got Karen a birdhouse to paint

because Karen was doing nothing but sitting at home. Probably cursing at chickens. So does that dirty bird, dirty bird. Doesn't have all to happen had it not been for that dirty bird. So Giselle's like, well, I talked to her. She said there's a lot going on with her and Ray. She doesn't want to get into the weeds of what happened that night because she doesn't want to because she does have to do some court times. So see how that works out.

Ironically, she did get in the weeds that night with her car. But you know, that's a different story. So yeah, she's like, yeah, when's that coming up? All the court stuff, is it soon? Do you think it'll be during our season? Can we torment her about it? Yes, ah, yes, don't you worry. She told me to read the paper, I think. And Ash is like, well, I'd rather get it from the source, but okay, which means that Ash is now gonna be asking

Karen many questions about her DUI too. And Gisele is such a good person that she invited everybody today, even Wendy got it everybody. And she's like, Giselle is about peace these days, especially since I don't have anyone backing me up for no reason. So let's agree my father passed extremely unexpectedly. And these days I have a little bit more empathy and compassion. Now, we'll see how that works out. So I guess these two are going to fake it for the year. I love a good housewives faking to have a good season. With each other.

Yes, exactly. So people are going to be showing up. There's going to be Jaclyn. There's going to be someone named Jassy. I was surprised. Jaclyn, I guess, is back in the fold. Everything is good with Jaclyn and Mia now. They had that big blowout over two seasons ago. Then she came back last season, but it seems like she's on the up and up.

Her ass. She's like a back up Mia's ass, so she's got a solid place on this show. Mia's like, okay, you can come back if you just stick your head firmly up my ass and don't leave it. She's like, okay, whatever it takes. But the, but Jacqueline is coming back as second fiddle to Mia's new friend of friend of, which is, um, Jassy. And, um, we find out very quickly why Jassy is like Mia's all about Jassy. It's cause she's married to someone on the Kansas city chiefs, which makes her Taylor Swift adjacent. Oh, they're getting new wags.

So the camp really pretty chiefs. Did you hear? Yeah, they made an announcement. They were like Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes announced that they will not be part of the new wags. So oh, wow. Can't believe it. I think everybody really expected Taylor Swift to go join the humble cast of a reality show. Yeah, I can't believe that didn't happen. I know. What a shock. Well, Brittany Moehm,

it's funny that she is, well, she's basically riding the Taylor Swift train. As soon as that runs its course, she'll be on wags soon enough. Yeah. I was surprised that that lady turned it down, whoever she is, she's annoying me. I don't even know who she is, but I'm annoyed by her. So then Mia's like, yeah, well, me and Jazzy are connected by a mutual friend who's beautiful. I mean, she's beautiful. She's brilliant.

She's articulate. She's my kind of girl. I mean, put that girl in front of a stack of brochures and watch her separate them. And then Wendy is talking about how she feels like the invitation to the attitude party wasn't really an olive branch and that they need to sit down and talk about their relationship. Specifically. Wendy wants a specific apology. She doesn't want a general let's start over. She wants a very specific apology.

Yes. This is Wendy. This better be worded correctly. So then they're all at the table and they're asking Jassy about her husband. Wendy's like, so have you met Taylor Swift? And she's like, I have. She's like, oh my God, we got to talk about that. I'm turning into a Swifty, which is funny. I just would never expect Wendy to really even care about Taylor Swift. I think that she would actually like Taylor Swift. Yeah, I think so. It's just so basic. I'm not surprised that she's when he's like, I'm a Swifty. Okay. So then once get her candles to Taylor Swift,

that's what she's thinking. She's like, maybe Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah, she can take my candle for me. Maybe she'll come on my YouTube show. So then we find out Jazzy's madness in the NFL for the Kansas City Chiefs, as you said, and when he's like, Oh my God, they just won the Super Bowl. I'm a Kansas City Chiefs head. And then Mia shows up or no, I guess they're asking where Karen is. And Mia is like, Oh, she's passionately linked. I'm like, has anyone checked the ditches? Any ditches? Check the ditches on the way here between Karen's house and here. Anyone?

So they're gossiping like, oh my God, Karen's a drunk now. What are we all going to do about it? Who's going to get her first? And Mia's like, well, Jacqueline said that she called Jacqueline and of course she was drunk. And Jacqueline's like, oh my God, Mia, not for TV. And they're like, and now she's like, what recently? And Jacqueline's like, yeah, well, she seemed to be a little tipsy on the phone. And when he goes, I want no pots. So Jacqueline's like, yeah. Zero pots it is. Jacqueline's like, I mean, it just didn't sound like a normal Karen conversation. She sounded like

maybe she was drinking. I don't know. She kept talking about dirty birds and deer out her window. I don't know. It didn't really make sense to me. So Karen comes and she's walking very, very slowly through the door. She's like, I'm late and I'm going to walk like this until I get there. Walk, walk, oh, the deer passes by in her wig. And also, Vivian and Stacey arrive, sort of like right behind Karen, and Wendy says, you know, many years ago, Stacey and I sat on the same board. And I didn't know, I don't know that well, but it's always good to meet someone who comes in with positive energy and who's also on TV already.

So this is good. No, I don't think it's looking good. No? No. You wonder if what? Sorry, I thought you were done. No, I wonder if Wendy, because she got so much guff last season for being like, I don't know who NECA is. Then now she's like, no, here's some of my past who I've interacted with who I definitely know. I was going to say, I was going to say it's not looking good because this harkens back to Wendy's initial storyline,

which is she knew Karen from a board, but Karen pretended she didn't know her, remember? Oh, Karen was like, a board? Oh yes, I'm on that board, I've been on it for years. Wendy, who? I don't know her. I was like, her whole storyline was not knowing who Wendy was, even though they sat on the same board.

So she's like, I was on the board and I know the girl. So what do you think? I know. It's a shock. It's a shocking twist for Potomac for someone to acknowledge that they met someone on a board previously. It's huge. I feel like what? New look Potomac. So they're all saying hi and everything. And they all sit down those long table and Karen's gonna sit in the middle and just sounds like, well everyone, the drinks are here. We have here's our cocktail menu for this

party. We have the Surrey County. We have also a cocktail called the 6161, that is, that's the age of Karen even though she looks much older. And also we have a little non-alcoholic drink called the Grand Dama for anyone here who happens to be a Grand Dama and is not allowed to drink. By the way, Karen can't drink because she has a D.Y. and a D.W.I. and a license. I've got a few more things on my list. Robbery, domestic violence, manslaughter, arsenal assault and... All right, all right. All right, all right. So Karen takes it pretty well and just winks at everybody like, oh, got me on that one. Not alcoholic, Karen, drink. Good for you girls. Good for you. And she's like, I know she can't help a damn self. She has a disease.

It's called messaging. See, by the way, Tamra, take notes because this is how you torment your DIY friend. You don't scream at them and say, you're an alcoholic bitch. You get them just like you just needled them in these subtle ways. You get them a birdhouse because they can't do anything fun anymore. And you make a menu and you point out that they have to have the non-alcoholic option on it. Like this is so, I mean, I'm just dying in this scene. I'd like to order Karen some chips. Hopefully she'll earn her own within time.

So the booth starts to arrive at the table and they're making small talk. They're talking to Stacey and Stacey's talking about how she is a QVC person and but she moved back to be on the show and her child is very happy. She just turned eight. And Wendy's like, yeah, you know, my kid is going to be five years old. You met her when I was pregnant. And she told me she didn't like my hair when I left the house. They go up so fast. They go up so fast. They grew up so fast. As she left, as she dropped off, was dropped off to school,

I gave her a lunch box full of Xerox copies of my degrees. So we'll see how she enjoys my lunch. So then Gisele makes a big announcement. She starts talking about these hats. It's not that, not that interesting, but she does the whole thing. Like the designer made these hats. She gives a hat to Karen and the hats does the whole thing. The designer made these hats. She gives a hat to

Karen and the hat's called the Grand Dame. Oh, I know. She calls it Hollywood. The hat is called Hollywood. This is a moment that is starting to veer into some of the last season's on-screen silliness. They freeze the screen. They show that the hat's named Hollywood. I started to like- Yeah, this is like Ben's deer. This is Ben's deer. When this came on, I was like, Ben is triggered. A deer has just run out in front of Ben's car. He was triggered. Yes. But you know what? Like, one thing that we've learned is the shows can do this stuff sparingly. And I was enthused to see that it was used sparingly here. We did not sit through like a seven minute segment of people trying on hats and then they get their name and then they get a stylized thing and then everyone talks about like

why they like the hats and why someone deserves a hat. Like they did not stretch it. It was just like a funny little thing. So you know what? I feel like we're moving in the right direction. You're really, you're really going, you're really coming in with the positivity today. I love it. You know what? I accept it. I accept it. You know, because I often will come in with the positivity today. I love it. You know what? I accept it. I accept it. You know?

Because I often will come in with negativity and I thought it actually feels nice to come in with positivity. Well, there you go. So did she say that these hats were from her collaboration with Ashley that's fused? Just fused or whatever it's called? I think that's coming up. Okay. So they start saying, oh, basically Karen gets a hat and Giselle says you can keep the hat.

She's like, oh, thank you so much. It's so sweet. It's all of the hats have red rims like the bottom of a- What are those shoes? Louboutin. So wow, how creative. Your designer is trying to infer fanciness by calling to another designer's bottom of their heel. I'm not really sure why they would do that, but that's some tacky shit. Like come up with your own shit, really.

You're going to make a red rim the same as the bottom of a lube-a-ton. Come on. Yeah, it was pretty derivative. So, so then, Giselle, to rip off a local, local designer from the DMV. Fuck you. So then, so Giselle goes, well, the ladies were asking me about you, Karen, before you got here. And I told them that we got together and we talked and they had questions for me. Like, what makes a French toast and eggs and toast a special menu item that gets the Karen treatment? Is that really the best you can do?

Can't you aim for something higher than just that? I'm sorry. I started Googling hats with red rims. I was like, okay, now I'm staring at hats. What did you find? A lot of them. There are a lot of them out there. So then Jacqueline's like, okay, Karen, Karen, because Karen says, any questions? Ask me questions. If you want to ask questions, just ask me. And so Jacqueline starts, because no one else will start. Everybody's just looking around at each other. So Jacqueline's like, okay, well will start. Everybody's just looking around at each other.

So Jacqueline's like, okay, well, Karen, I'm just so happy and blessed that you're okay, that nobody was hurt and no family was hurt or no child was killed or whatever the case may be. Jeez. Hey, Karen's like, Karen is doing that thing where she is getting the herbs out of her teeth with her mouth closed. She's like, Karen. Karen is doing that thing where she is getting the herbs out of her teeth with her mouth closed. She's like, I know, Karen, none of us saw what happened. I mean,

we did see the trademarks on the road as we're going down. I haven't seen it. It's too dramatic for me to drive by. Yes, yes. But so I don't feel like anyone here should cast judgment and just, yes, exactly. We don't know the facts of the case. We're still learning. We're seeing if there's any ring cameras that could show anything. So no judgment, please. And they're like, but once we hear about it, people are going to judge you, Karen?" And Stacy goes, well, who are we to judge? I mean, look, some of us get DUIs, some of us have successful runs on QVC and have just moved to Potomac to start a new life. Who are we to judge? Hi, I'm Stacy, everyone.

I really don't like that saying, like, who are we to judge? Who do we need to be? Do I need a license now? Do I need to go to the fucking government, the DMV itself, to stand in line for five hours to get a license for judging? I'm me. That's who I am to judge. Okay? I'm a person. I'm allowed to judge. It's my American right. I pay taxes. That's who I am. Judge all I want to. So, Karen's like, well, I'm not worried about judging. So, this is my thing, okay? This is hot. Everything I do is amped 10 times right now, but I wanna know. And I'm just trying to figure out who is my real friend

because there's an opportunity for you guys to swing whichever way you want. And I wanna see who the real soldiers are for Karen Huga because it's either me or the deer. Who do you draw blood for? I love that she chose this moment to give a speech. And if you believe in the real Karen Huger, you stand up, you go to war, you pick up your muskets,

and you go against the deer, the ducks, and he would try to bring us down. I was like, this is not the time for this, ma'am. You need to say what the hell you did on that evening. You may fight and you may die, run and you'll live at least a while and dying in your beds many years from now. Would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that or for one chance, just

one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom. Kill all the deer. I don't want any big bitches around me. Meanwhile, she's got one arm in her ear hole, just dangling out of there. Aaron, she looks like a take together doll. She's like that becomes her. Mia's like, wow, she's quite the gangster of Potomac.

Karen's like, be mindful of how you go so low. And they show a man staring at her. Even he's like, why is there a speech going on over there? Is that the lady who's always ordering the Karen special at that restaurant? Ma'am, we don't have a Karen special here. I think only that diner. They want to know when they can ask more questions. And Ashley is like, can we get a projected timeline on when we can ask questions? And Karen goes, as long as it takes for the wheels of justice who prevail.

Well unfortunately, those wheels don't go as fast as the wheels on your car. So Ashley is like, well, this is the same song and dance that I've seen from Karen before. It's sensitive. Her lawyer's advertising, advising her not to talk. And then we see a throwback to Karen's press conference where she's like, well, of course I can't talk. No answers right now. I had to respect. I had no, no, no for the comment everyone. I paid my taxes.

So then they decide that now is the time where they are going to announce GNA and Giselle is going to have another event and everyone's invited and it's going to announce GNA. And Giselle is going to have another event and everyone's invited and it's going to introduce the health and wellness to GNA. Get the fuck out of here. You can't even sell a jogging suit. You want me to take vitamins? No. I know. And it's called GNA fusion. And Wendy's like, Wendy just laughs at the table. And she's like, if GNA wasn't bad enough,

now we've done and fused it. And we see last year Giselle saying that GNA is gonna be a mixture of Lululemon and Savage by Fenty. And she's like, at this point, the stuff on the runway isn't even on the website. So what are they even fusing? More like confusing. And Giselle's like, well, okay, so now she's passing out more hats to people.

And now they've moved on to talk about ink. Yeah, no one cares about this announcement, it's stupid. So they move on to talk about ink. And Jacqueline's like, well, he's not a rapper, right? She's like, no, he's not a rapper, right? She's like, no, he's not a, he's a Romeo personality, everybody. And so, have you shared him with Jacqueline yet? Yeah. Stacy's like, what?

And Mia's like, no, absolutely not. It doesn't play about me. And Stacy's like, they have no boundaries here. This is a lot for a hat party. I'm just saying. So Mia's like, um, aren't y'all hot? Is it just me? Is anyone else here hot right now? I cannot wear this shitty, shitty hat. So and Ash, they're just like joking like, oh, well, we love a throuple conversation. And then they're asking like, because they can see G at all. And she's like, well, you know, I love Gordon a lot. he needs to lean on me and he is actually leaning on ink and I and it's just like everyone she's still so

close with Gordon that like even when Gordon went out of town, she was still doing his laundry and stuff. And Karen's like, well, ink is washing golden straws. Is that true? He folded his underwear and everyone's like, Oh, Wendy's like, what's, what's happening here? Is he folding the military style? Is he just sort of sorted them out? I want to know, but I really don't. Also what is folding something military style? I actually don't know about this because I have to fold some little block perfectly straight. Wow. Little block. So then, um, basically they're kind of giving her shit

about that. And so Stacey's like, well, how long were you married? And she says 11 years and Giselle's like, Oh, wow, long business arrangements. Wow. So very long business arrangement there. Well, because, because Mia is saying that she and Gordon were more like business partner felt like a business arrangement or business partners. And Karen's like, well, Mia, come on. It's gotta be more than just business. I mean, you gave birth. Listen, I feel a certain way about G

and when G shared with the world that your children had seen you in bed with another man. Oh, did I just mention that again for the audience in case they'd forgotten? And Stacey's like, oh my gosh. She said, you know, I care for your children, whatever their names are and you know that and the fact that your babies were plastered all over the news. It really, really bothered me.

It bothered me so much that we don't know the father of your child. You slept with a man during your wedding, your marriage, and you do not know the father of your child. That just bothers me that we do not know the father of your child. That just bothers me that we do not know the father of your child. We've been the host of the restaurant in years, we just make sure he knows this as well. Yeah, Karen doing the old fashioned, hey, this should be about my drinking, so I'm going to deflect onto somebody else's messiness, right? And she's like, oh, it was so traumatic

for me in finding out that you've done this to your children that I swerved off the road. I can't say anything more. I can't say anything more. Not to blame Mia, but Mia did have something to do with it. Am I right, Mia? Admit it, Mia. I confess, Mia." Mia's like, oh, you don't think about it, me, Karen. I didn't plaster my babies on the ground. Their father did. She's like, no, darling, I'm not pretending. I'm just asking a question. And so then Mia's like, Okay, so you're pretending that's my fault that all this got? I mean, it wasn't not. So then just so Giselle goes, but Mia, you didn't protect your kids at all costs. You didn't die. Because if you did, you would not have mixed ink with Gordon. There was

a mix and there was a mingle And she's like yes, and I think that's why Gordon went off Listen I don't know that they're wrong. I kind of agree with what they're saying about but it's none of your business Neither one of you are perfect. And why are you bringing this up at a party with a bunch of new people? Tacky. Yeah, so Mia is basically like, I can't control anybody. You guys didn't know where we're going through and what I was going through. You're not the only ones, but listen,

does that mean, do I have to stand in a marriage that's abusive? And they're like, no, we never said that. And she's like, don't sit here and say, I'm not protecting my kids, Gisele. And Giseelle's like, well, Gordon was hurt because you'd moved on. And she goes, well, that's really fucked up that you're standing. She's like, I'm fine. My kids are fine. They had ice cream. They loved it. They had so much fun having ice cream. Show the clips of Jeremiah smiling over an ice cream. And she goes to the

bathroom and she's like, fuck you guys. It was so fucked up. So she goes to the bathroom and she's like, fuck up, fuck you guys, it's so fucked up. So she goes to the bathroom and just starts, ah, like sobbing and stuff. And she closes the door on the cameras. And she's like, I don't want you guys here. And dun, dun, dun. I love that she's, her whole thing is like, how dare you accuse me of not doing what's best for my children.

Okay, are we set up for the scene where we're gonna do a paternity test on camera? Yeah. So she's stopping in the bathroom and that's where the episode ends. But anyway, I, again, I liked the episode. I thought they pulled back on the silliness and there's like real storylines going on and everyone was just so hilariously passive aggressive under the guise of caring for each other. It was great. It was great. Yeah, there you go, everybody.

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