Watch What Crappens - #2599 RHOSLC S05E06: Married to the Mob

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

This week on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Angie throws a mob wives party to celebrate 25 years of marriage. Plus, Lisa calls the authorities and Jared Osmond continues to be a very private person who doesn’t want to be on camera at all. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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remarkably bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Kill List is a true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those whose lives were in danger. Follow Kill List wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit-seed Truecrum shows like Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wandry+. Truecrump shows like morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious mob wife himself, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Good, thanks. Good to see your face today. Why, good to see your face today. Why, good to see you as well. Well, thank you.

I almost didn't make it here, I almost drove off a cliff. I had a really, really horrid morning. Let me tell you that. What happened? You were teasing me beforehand about some story that we're gonna share on the air. If you guys just wanna get to the recap and skip my bullshit, do it. Skip ahead five minutes.

Okay. So I'm in Home Goods, you know, my heaven. My haven. No one can bother me in Home Goods. I saw this mirror I wanted there and I slept on it and I woke up like I'm getting that mirror. It was so comfortable. Sleeping on myself.

I mean, hey, it's the life of a single person. Wiped it off, got some paper towels, and we're married now. So I go there at 9.30 in the morning, I get this mirror. It's hard to get, you know, whatever. It's this huge, heavy mirror, which is rare over there because it's like real solid wood. You know, it's not like some plastic-y kind of thing that you sometimes get at stores like that. Not that for, I'm not just like this, but you know what I mean. Like the cheapo IKEA one I have in my foyer,

like that with the big thick, you know, fake wood, but border, right? Oh, it looks nice. You can't tell it's plastic-y. You do? I love it. Oh, I hate it. Well, this is a big, heavy piece, and you know,

I was excited, so I'm too excited, because it's a mirror, like who cares? So I go, I get it. It's so fresh, I measure it. I'm like, excited because it's a mirror like who cares so I go I get it It's so fresh. I measure it. I'm like I can barely get this in my car. I'm gonna do it get it out to my car It's heavy as fuck. Okay Barely get it in we can't get it in so I'm moving seats up. I'm doing all this and then I hear I'm already stressing. I'm sweating. I'm trying to get back here in time I'm freaking out that I'm not gonna be able to get this week, you know

That's just frustrating when you're in the middle of doing something like trying to get it here in time. I'm freaking out that I'm not gonna be able to get this. You know, it's just frustrating when you're in the middle of doing something like trying to get it in. The lady's like sitting there like it's my fault, which it was, but I was like, come on, let's, we can do this. And then I hear honk and I'm like, okay, okay, I'm in the way. So I start getting out of the car and I hear honk, honk,

honk, honk and I went, motherfucker, can't you see we're fucking moving some shit? And I went around the car. I was yelling at an old lady parking in the handicapped spot, which is right next to the loading zone, literally called her a motherfucker. Well, I mean, we've all seen fried green tomatoes. Motherfucker, can't you see we're fucking here loading some shit? And then I went like that and I raised my hands like I'm ready to throw hands and

realize it was an old lady and I'm right next to the parking, the handicapped parking. And then I was like, Oh my God. I like hid behind my car. I was like, Oh, Oh my God. I just started yelling at an old lady in the handicapped spot. And the home goods lady was like, I was like, what's wrong with them? I said, I'm so sorry. I'm just frustrated. And she, she said, that's what LA does to us. And I said, I know, but that's not okay. I have to go apologize. She said, you don't. And I said, she's like afraid, you know? And then this lady is not getting out of her car. So I'm like waving at her

like this. And she's just looking at me like scared. So I was like, oh God. So I kept trying to get the mirror. Finally, she got out of her car. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you before I started yelling and cursing. I was just, I'm so frustrated. I'm so, so sorry. She was, well, I was just trying to park and your doors are open. I said, I know. I'm so sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. That was totally my bad. I'm really sorry, but I was just trying to park. And I said, I know. I saw. I'm sorry. Was that the only handicapped spot there? I don't know, but it's just real tiny parking anyway, you know, and it's a, whatever, but oh my God, what a way to start the day.

So I have terrible karma to start the day. Well, I don't know. I mean, you were also loading up your, you were there loading up in the designated loading zone with your doors open. And she came in and she came into the space that you were already doing stuff into. So like, you know, we don't let, we like to respect our elders, you know, and especially if she's the handicapped, if she needs to use the handicapped spot,

we want to make sure that she has all the accessibility that she needs. But she can also just hang out in her car for five seconds while you get the mirror into your car and close the door. And she also, by the way, she was the one honking at you and being rude in the first place. She was saying what the fuck motherfucker to you first via her. Probably. Yeah. Okay, let's just cause you're old and just cuz you're old and just just cuz you're old and just cuz you use a handicapped spot does not mean you were some sort of like sweet angel that needs to be handled with kid gloves okay because yes we respect our elders but also our elders have fucked us over in many many different ways okay

so god like load your mirror load your mirror and she can be she can be chilled for like the 30 seconds. I mean, I know why she's annoyed. I get why she's annoyed, but also like, I don't know. I'm mortified. I'm sorry. I don't think that you're totally in the wrong here. I just, but also just like honk was, you know what I mean? I think, cause I was coming out. It's not like I was just ignoring the honk. I was like, oh, she honked. So I was like settling the mirror so I could walk around the car. But then it was like honk, honk, honk.

I mean, that's just like aggressive. I'm like, girl, I mean, give me a second here. You know, you see I'm loading stuff up, you know? So anyway, I felt so, so bad. So let's just hope karma wasn't paying attention today. Was your door like sort of like overflowing into the handicapped spot? Yeah. Yeah.

So she was honking because she couldn't get into the spot. Why do they have the loading? Why do they have the loading? Because you have to, I know it doesn't make sense, but you have to get something that big and not break it. It's a big flat near so I had to tilt it and we were on both sides of the car so we had the doors on the side open as well as the hatchback thing in the back So I mean it was annoying but you know, give me one honk and I'll move anyway

Whatever the whatever it was how many ever I mean you I just need to I guess the lesson here is look before you call Somebody motherfucker. You know what? I mean because you never know who you're calling motherfucker. You just need to adjust the language I could say excuse me We're in the loaded world will be'll be five seconds, ma'am. You know, I could have said it like that, but motherfucker to some old handicapped lady. I can't like, I'm more of that. This is, this is the home goods on Ventura. They were some goods. Yeah. I honestly, I feel like there also had to be another handicap spot.

I'm sorry. I have to feel like there was, this is not like some tiny, this is not some tiny storefront where there's like eight spots total. So therefore there's only one handicap spot. I'm going to say there were two or three spots. And I think this lady, honestly, here's where the lady loses me. The aggressive honking, like the, the escalation from one honk to like aggressive honking is a lot. I'm sorry. It's a lot. It's a lot, But you know what I jumped to that frustration because people are such a douchebags here that I was ready for it to be some guy in a gigantic truck. And I was ready to just say stop being a fucking

douchebag dude. I'm sick of you fucking douchebag. You know, like I was projecting other stuff. And God knows how this lady is treated all over the city. You know, from from people like that. So she was probably frustrated. Probably God like she brings her trauma to the situation, you bring her trauma to the situation. It's a question of trauma. You know, you're just lucky that she wasn't like, I'm calling up my private security right now. Take this to the

police. Call the mayor. Call every single person. Okay, taking this to the top. Oscar voting said the Oscar voting people are going to hear about this. voting center, Oscar voting people are going to hear about that. All right, let's get into it. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Well, that was a great story, Ronnie. By the way, I just want to pause and say that was a great story. Thank you for sharing it. Thank you for like getting me like primed to talk Salt Lake City by getting like already angry at older women. So, um, oh, but look what I just did last night. I was like, I'm going to go support

an older lady because I had this on my car. Do you see this poster? Maryland May. I went to see the theater last night and it's this older lady, Marilyn, Marilyn May. It says, um, the marvelous Marilyn May, Tuesday, December 3rd, 7pm dinner, 8.30 show at the Catalina Jazz Club. Grammy Award nominated jazz legend. I was like, I'm gonna go support her. Wow, fabulous. And then look what today I said, motherfucker, there's something. Was she, did we see her on Countess and Friends?

Like back in the day? Was she one of the singers on Countess and Friends? I don't know. Also coming up is Lucy Arnaz. So you never know what's going on. My old neighbor. Okay, I'll stop. Lucy Arnaz is doing, where is that happening again?

The Catalina Jazz Club. Wow. Yeah, it was on my car. It's true. I saw it on my car. I didn't know that Lucy Arnaz sang jazz. I thought she just existed. Well, she's out there doing things, I guess. Okay, so here we are. I saw it on my car. I didn't know that Lucy Arnaz sang jazz. I thought she just existed.

Well, she's out there doing things, I guess. Okay, so here we are. We are Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. What an episode, what a joy from beginning to end. What a hilarious episode. I just love this show so much. And right now, when we're a little uncertain about certain housewives cities,

it is so nice to just have a city crushing it like that and making me laugh every single time. What a funny fucking show. Yeah, is so good. It's so good that I didn't even mind the ridiculous opening, which starts with that Angie's house. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I don't I don't love when it gets too overly like wink, wink at the audience, but it opens at Angie's house and her associate, her quote unquote associate Garzai comes in and she's like,

Garzai, I have a job for you. What we're doing is we're summoning these ladies for a little sit down with the boss. I am Greek, Greek mafia. And they're doing it in black and white and they're playing mafia music Ladies, for a little sit down with the boss. I am Greek, Greek mafia. And they're doing it in black and white and they're playing mafia music like Godfather music in the background. Associate Garzai.

And he does look like a, you know, a hit man. Yes. Really did him up. And she gives her monologue. The thing that I have with my friends is not always copacetic. I've had my eye on them for a while and no one is innocent, but they are like family godfather. And she's like, I'm going

to make an offer. They can't refuse my 25th wedding anniversary party. The theme, mob wives. It's a straight, it is a strange theme to have for your anniversary, your 25th wedding anniversary party of strange theme. Also her look during this is, um, like she looks like a, like a fork and spoon, like a cutlery roll up at a restaurant. She looks like a rolled up napkin, or like when you go to, or like, you know, when you're like flying on a plane or you go to

like a Japanese restaurant and they bring you like a hot towel that's like all rolled up and they give it to you on like a tongue or something like that. That's definitely a dinner towel. Yeah, or a tablecloth that's kind of you know like bunched up to make it look fancy in sections. Yeah, she does look like that. But you know no one loves celebrating their own lines like this show. I mean, Dorinda did a lot. They're already doing it on New York, which is obnoxious, they haven't earned that. But this show really, I mean,

Heather with her played on late night television. One of the infomercials of like, recedes, timelines, scrolling up the credits. She's trying to sell that album every single episode. And then you've got Angie who's like, Oh my god, you called you called me a Greek mafia, I'm going to have a mob party and do a mob sex. My thing, they made fun of me for being too Greek. I am in giant Greek glasses and a Greek flag, you know, like she will celebrate the shit out of her own mind. So I love it. Greek flag, you know, like she will celebrate the shit out of her own minds. And I love it. Yeah. So basically Garza starts going around inviting people by taping these like

giant wanted signs onto their doors. So he goes to Lisa's house and he puts up a wanted sign up. And he says, like, what is this? Is that like my best picture? Oh, my gosh. That's so funny, even though that's like really not my best picture. But this is hilarious. I wonder why she chose such a bad picture of me. Isn't this hilarious, everyone? Oh my God, I am cracking up.

It's honestly a terrible photo. I'm actually pretty pissed right now. Well, it is because it's one of her screaming and yelling at somebody, you know, because all the photos are of them committing their crimes. And this is her yelling at somebody. And then she's like, that was one of Angie's hit men. Boss lady summons you at her anniversary party. He's like, wow, you got invited.

That's so cool. Yeah, I'm shocked. I mean, it's not that she invited me because I thought we were better friends than that. Like how it feels lately. I mean, it's just like, this is the most communication we've had since that party. I can't believe it.

You know, Angie and I were super close for years. And now I don't even know what this friendship is anymore. It's like I'm talking shit about you behind your back. That's like our friendship. I'm like, yes, as you continually talk shit about Angie behind her back. And it's so funny because Henry's just sitting there too. And on another show, what's the other show where they're talking about?

Oh, Orange County, I think they're talking about like fighting in front of the children. How could you fight in front of the children? It's like, it's so mortifying. And on this show, or like, how could you talk shit about me in front of your child? And this show, it's like, he's just sitting there, they're totally talking shit right in front of the kid.

It's funny what's acceptable on different shows, you know. And Henry's just, you know, you're a great mom, you're great. I mean, sure, I'm on video games all day, but you bought me the video game machine. You got me the PlayStation. You're a good mom. And that's what I say too, you know, people are like, what happened to the day where we were just running around the streets together? Do you remember that when we were kids, we were all over the streets.

We didn't know where our parents were. It was a different world. I'm like, yeah, who wants that? I want to stay at home with my kids at home with a nanny. And if it's going to be in the form of a box that has very violent games, then so be it. Raise my children, Sony. Raise my children. I mean, last time I remembered growing up, children just kept falling down wells.

So I don't know. Maybe things are better now. Exactly. I mean, baby, there's so many horror stories from when we were young, like that girl's still traumatizing people. Fucking baby Jessica's ass. Maybe if baby Jessica had an Xbox, I don't know. So

Jessica had an Xbox. I don't know. So maybe Jessica would not be traumatized right now if she had a Game Boy. Yeah. Period. Call of Duty much safer than falling down a well. So basically, Henry is like, Yeah, you're a great mom. I mean, I'm not even really listening to you. I'm just thinking about the video games I'm about to go play in about five seconds. So Henry's like, yeah, you guys should have boxed. Get in the ring. That's what I do with some of my friends. At least I was like, ha ha ha.

Wait, no, what? You box? What? You fight your friends, Henry? I didn't even know that about you. Wait, don't say that out loud. I'm a good mother. Okay, you know that that's part of me that wants to go because it's a big deal.

I just don't know how I feel right now. He's like, oh, you can always think about it's today monday We can facetime jack. Oh my god. Let's facetime jack. I totally remember that i'm a good mother. I totally remember that All I care about is jack So they call jack say hey, what are you doing? It looks so pretty. Is that a Wendy's? Oh my God. Like your backdrop is so pretty.

Like I've got a cheeseburger shop. So the best restaurant in all of Columbia. I wonder if like when Lisa has been bragging that Jack has been finding the best restaurants in Columbia, it's just been him being sarcastic on FaceTime and she has not picked up on it. Oh my God, he found another Michelin star restaurant. So he's like eating, he's eating McDonald's and a pet boy is like, oh my God, there's so many Michelin's. So I like that you have to think about that one. So basically, you know, he's been getting some tests because he has some

sort of unidentified gastro issue. It's very stressful to her, which is totally understandable. And she basically is like, All right, well, you know, take care, take care, mucho, take care of mucho. By the way, while you're over there, could you please find a fantastic Sam's, fantastic go Sam's. Sir. How does he have a haircut and he still has that stupid push forward hair? Get rid of that haircut.

It's in a different form now, but you still got it. All of you boys, all of you is sitting in the car listening with your parent. Go cut your hair. It's not your hair. It's not broccoli bangs. It's not going to work out well for you We're just telling you this right now. We're gays. We understand this so then we go You can delete all the pictures. It's gonna be in your iCloud forever

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So we go to Whitney and she goes to a place called State Road Tavern, which is kind of a funny name. And it's like so Whitney to go to a tavern that's just named after a generic state road. State road, it's where we were going to film. That's an actual restaurant. Oh, wow. Do you have anywhere on the side of the road? I'm more comfortable filming there.

Should I bring my Kirkland folding chairs? So she sits at a table that has like a very large advertisement for some sort of like cranberry martini or whatever. It's like, get your cranberry martini. Wow, cranberry martini. And Meredith walks in, probably begrudgingly, I can't believe that we're not at Augusto Toscana, my favorite restaurant on St. Rowan Tavern, some down market place. Fine, I'll do what I have to do.

I do have reservations meeting with Whitney because of her coming at me and attacking me wrongfully. Then we see flashbacks of them fighting in the Sprinter van, et cetera. meetings with Whitney because of her coming at me and attacking me wrongfully. And then we see flashbacks of them fighting in the Sprinter van, et cetera. So in case anybody's forgotten, Whitney was attacking Meredith about talking about her business and all of her jewelry coming from Ali. And so she's very upset. So she wants to apologize to Meredith because now she's going to try and get Meredith dependent

on somebody else. So let's see what happens. So she's like, well, I'd like to give her the chance to maybe acknowledge the one that she hurt me deep in my soul in an unrecoverable fashion. Let's see what transpires ahead. Okay. All right. I'm just going gonna jump in.

Do you want a cranberry mule? They're perfect for the season Whitney's thing phone casts. Oh, sorry. I want to apologize for going so hard on you in Milwaukee. Are you referring to accusing me of things or are you accusing of trying to steal my batch stick? Because both are unforgivable. I will have some nachos.

I know Fran comes over is like, what can I get you guys want a cranberry mule? We it's sort of our specialty right now. Are you guys is the cranberry expiring? Like what's going on? Please have a cranberry mule. The state road cranberry mule is legendary, especially on state roads. Well, since Milwaukee, I am starting to see a different picture. I want to apologize for not giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Actually, just a small correction. She says, I want to apologize for not giving you the benefit of the doubt. Whitney's really having trouble today stringing those senses together. Too many cranberry mules. So Meredith is like, well, I appreciate you, you know, apologizing and I appreciate your accountability. And Whitney's like yeah because that post was so small and I already totally knew about it and I felt

like someone was intentionally trying to bring it up to hurt me and she goes well I have to wonder why you would think it was me who was trying to hurt you by bringing up your business's phony on national television. I mean why would all I want to hurt you and all I've done has been victimized by you stealing the concept of bathtubs from me? I have no reason why I'd want to seek revenge whatsoever, Meredith Marks Bath Bombs, available now at brooksy.com. Wait a minute. I think it's Lisa. She's like, Oh, wow.

Wait a minute. She's well, I reached out to someone who knows that account. And then I had them see if they could find out for me who tipped her off. And then they verbally confirmed, hold on, wait for it. Commercial break. It was Lisa. No, hold on. It was Lisa.

All right. When you do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, after I went on the podcast, after I went on the podcast and talked about Lisa, Lisa is the one who brought this up to the group behind my back. And then we see flashbacks to Alibaba Gate with Lisa talking to Meredith about it. And Whitney is like, Lisa is the one who left the sun ray in Milwaukee. That's my necklace from Prism. And then I got verbal confirmation that Lisa planted the article.

And then we see a flashback on the phone with Adam, the podcaster. And he seemingly confirms this. Now, Adam supposedly has said, I've just read this in comments. Sorry, I haven't listened to the show, but I read in comments and message boards, et cetera, that Adam is claiming that they cut up his conversation and he never implicated Lisa, that this is all a show lie and that Whitney basically is using him. That's pretty shitty. If that's true, I mean, who knows? Because they really edit it together well because it does sound like he's saying, it was Lisa. And so she's like, it hurts. Just, well, I would keep an open mind and make sure you're dealing with real credible sources who don't have some other agenda. Now, is it someone big in the podcast world? Because as you know, my podcast, Taking Bars with

Seth and his big hanging balls, has been killing it on the charts. And I might know one of my peers if you'd like me to talk to them. Was it Barbara Walters? Just to re-emphasize before you go down this path of accusation, just again, make sure you're dealing with a real credible source. For instance, an anonymous person with three followers on Instagram. I usually find that that's a pretty good person to then relay the information from onto the show. If it didn't happen in a direct message on Instagram, it doesn't count.

If their profile photo isn't in an emoji of a firework, then I'm not sure I would trust it. Does their name have a lot of numbers after it? Because the numbers show how many people trust this person. So Meredith is like, I don't want to be in the middle of this. I don't want any part of this. And it just feels like Whitney wants me to be a counseling son. I'm, I'm, I'm. Meredith is running through the whole episode. It's so funny.

And I love when Meredith is in complete disarray too. Like this whole episode, she's kind of disarray. Like her hair is really wonky in this scene. I'm not really sure what's going on with Meredith, but it's cracking me up. Meredith's like on kind of her last legs of sanity. Yeah. You know, the thing is that she wants to rally me

against Lisa because she feels like, well, Lisa did that to you in the past, so you'll do that to her now. It doesn't work that way because I still fucking hate Whitney, so I don't care what Lisa did because I'm gonna be against Whitney. So she's like, just be aware that you know what you're talking about before you fuck with Lisa Barlow. She's

like, I get that. One would hope it's not true. But if I look at all the signs, wait a minute. Oh, God, Whitney, they're pointing to Lisa Barlow. Do do do do do Oh, God, just give me a cranberry. Pointing to Lisa Barlow. Do do do do do. Oh God, just give me a cranberry mule plant. Signs are pointing to get me a cranberry mule right away.

Otherwise I'm leaving this joint. Edith is like, yes, sold one. Ding ding ding. Always be selling cranberry mules. So we go to Barry's house. Oh gosh, this is so sad. So Robert Jr. walks in the door with his quote unquote wife, whatever her name is. She's just standing

there, like literally in a hood coming down over her eyes. We just see her lips. And this, it really is heartbreaking. They still look crazy. They're in full on like handkerchiefs over their whole faces. Like they look like they're you know, I don't know like yeah, oh my god. Okay, so like I have to say part of this being older, of course this is sad because you know this is heartbreaking for the parent and their side and whatever they're going to eventually go through and we do know that he has serious problems. Any stoner kid, anybody who was a stoner kid is like, oh my God, I've had this night so

many times where you just come home and you're like, hey, hey mom. It's like, where were you? Flying over a mountain. You were not. Uh huh. No, you weren't. Bowling, bowling in the sky. You were not. Uh huh. No, you weren't. Bowling in the sky. You were not. So it's pretty obvious that these two are fucked up and they're just kind of like, they're like barely even

understand what they're saying. They're like slurring so much and he's like, yeah, the friends and he's like, and she's like, I called you. It didn't, you didn't even answer. She was like, yeah, I lost a girl through the phone. Didn't go through. And they're just like, so fucked up. I think it's really only sad because we know again, normally it'd be like, Oh my God, these two kids, but knowing that he has like real issues with substance abuse and yeah, it is sad. It's just, I just remember coming home like that a couple of times.

And your parents like for some reason can stay completely oblivious to whatever's going on, you know, it's like, I just remember coming home like that a couple of times. Oh yeah, that's totally. And your parents, like for some reason, can stay completely oblivious to whatever is going on. It's like, well, it must be, they must just not be feeling well. Surely my child would not be high as fuck right now, in my face. But we were ma'am. But yeah, he was a little more high than just some weed, I think, methinks. I think so. And so she is, but also, you know, I don't know, get in there and do something because at this point, it's like, okay, well, he's clearly fucked up. You know what I mean? It's hard not to be like, do something. But she

does what I think every good parent does and blames the girl. She's like, Yeah, he wasn't like this before the girl was here. Okay, it's all her fault. And then like, as he's like shuffling as the two of them are like shuffling into his room, she's like, by the way, I'm having company. So just try not to reappear. She's like, okay, you can be high and fucked up, but not not not here. Do it in your room. So but you can get what she says here to when she says, you know, it's a blessing that he's home because you know, he's not somewhere else like this. At least he's here like this, you know, at least he's

coming home like this, which, you know, it's sad. It's going to be interesting to see how she handles this in the future because there's many, many wrong roads to take down this one. Unfortunately. So then Bronwyn comes over with an enormous orchid and it's like Mary's favorite. And then they go in and Bronwyn's like, Oh my gosh, Mary, did we just become best friends? I have a blue kitchen too. You know, as soon as I saw Mary in that white Dolce & Gabbana coat on the very first night I met her, I felt this connection. She has what it takes to be friends with me. I love Mary's house. I would move in. The first person probably in history to walk into Mary's house and not say,

what the fuck is this? Willy Wonka insanity. She's like, this is amazing. I will say- Can I move in here? To Mary's credit, it looks like she got rid of her green carpet, her iconic green carpet, which I was a little sad about because it was so Mary, but I think this was a move in the right direction for her. You're right. You're right. I don't remember. I don't remember seeing the green carpet. Wow. Mary really has changed. She still has her absolutely bizarre chairs. I mean, there is a history of strange chairs

on this show. Remember Jenny? Jenny had some weird ass chairs in her dining room too, but Mary's really- But didn't she have the chairs recovered? Cause if I'm recalling, aren't the chairs black now and they used to be purple, right? Or they used to be like multicolored or something. I think they're still multicolored. I think that mom was just sitting in an area that was black.

I could be wrong though. We'll have to keep an eye out. I don't know, because Bronwyn could have been wearing like a giant life-size chair as a dress. That's true, too. Who knows what this check. She's so serious to be so wacky.

You know what I mean? Yes. By all accounts, she should be so wacky, but she's not. She's like, Mary, thank you very much. I really enjoy that you love orchids and I love the blue in your home. I would love to sit and have a chat with you. Let's do that." I'm like, how are you like this, but then you dress like that? It's crazy. It doesn't make sense. It really does not. She really is ultimately someone who just works in finance

or worked in finance at one point because it really shows all over her. She does her frown thing, which is her resting face is like a frown, which I really enjoy. She's like, Frown smile. Frown smile. Yeah. So she's like, well, I don't know if you know this, because you know, news travels fast in the script of ladies because of Heather. Anyway, when we were coming home from Milwaukee,

you know, Lisa and I were chatting and it turns out that like she is very close friends with my daughter's grandparents. Isn't that funny? I am containing the rage inside me right now. Isn't that a funny fact, Mary Cosby? I'm so glad I came here to have a post scene scene with you to discuss my feelings on the subject. Mary's like, Oh yeah, my son hasn't either. My mom, well, he's never met my mom. And then, I mean, my dad died and yeah, so yeah, he doesn't either. And then she goes and she's like, and she's never met him. So that's a little, you know, and, you know, and then he would say like every grand grandparents day, he would say, mom, can, can I please not go because he knew that his grandparents weren't going to be there. I was like, Oh

my God, that's so sad. But let her, one trauma at a time here, okay? Yeah, that is really sad. But at least he got to know his great grandfather who happened to also be his father. So Bronwyn is like- You say you got two in one there, you know? You just average them together and you get a grandfather.

Cosby Matt. So Bronwyn is like, um, but she's like, of course it's, you know, it's hard to be the only one. Yeah. I understand. Let me give you a big frown on that one. Hmm. So, um, but it's sad cause you know, they're talking about people not being there. And then Mary, her talks about her mom, her mom is, you know, she has no relationship with her mom. Her mom is all about herself and does just wasn't present

and tells a story about like that. Like they just, it's not that they couldn't afford food as growing up. It's just that the mom wouldn't buy it. And so they just have random shit in the fridge, like cabbage and cranberry juice. And I know the people from the state farm taverns like, it sounds like we got the makings for cranberry mule. Get her in here. I need to win this contest.

No, but that's like, I'm like making a callous joke in a really very sad story. And so, you know, it's just like more of an insight into kind of like the tragic upbringing of Mary Cosby. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, so I want to make sure my son has everything he needs. Okay, your son has more than he needs, okay? It's time to start making sure that your son has less of what he doesn't need. I know. He's had too much of what he needs. Yes. So she's like, you know, I don't judge them. But you know, I'm dealing with things right now, but he's still my baby, you know? And she's like, and I've always learned that

you have to be real with your kids. You have to tell them like it is. It toughens them, which you're going to have to get tougher, I'm just saying. So then Bronwyn's like, Oh, Mary, could you raise me, Mary? And you know, I like this about Bronwyn that she didn't immediately, her first instinct wasn't to be like, okay, well, I was about to tell my trauma on camera and she interrupted. So now I'm going to go back to my trauma. She was just like, oh, okay, Mary, you know, I get it. I get it. I hear you. She just kind of left it at that. She seems like a nice chick this Broadway.

Yeah. I think she's like really great. And then she is basically saying that she's getting some funky energy from people. She's like, can you raise me? I'm getting weird energy from people. And I don't know. I don't know how to give it back funky. And Mary's like, look, you just have to mirror them. She was like, I don't know. You know, I'm excited about Angie's party though, but I'm also a little nervous.

It's the first time I'm going to see Heather and I'm in a very like I'm on the cusp of being done with the bullshit. Can I say bullshitting your house, Mary? I know it's a house of God of here. And then I saw Lisa and then she told me that Heather repeated some things about her about from Angie and she, Bronwyn is upset that Heather is gossiping to Lisa, the things that Angie is saying to Heather in what should be more of a privileged space. But she's mad that yeah,

especially cause that's what Heather yelled at her about and got her in trouble with in front of the whole group was, you know, she went to her, she went about some shit talking that Bronwyn did and now she's doing it again to somebody else. And she's like, this girl's the biggest shit talker. Why does she get to do it? You know? And Bronwyn can hold a grudge and she's really going to do well as a housewife because she could just take that grudge and hold on for dear life. And she's like, okay, I've already confronted her once about this and now I'm going to do it again. We're going to just keep doing it. You don't develop resting frown face without a briefcase of grudges. I'll tell you that

much. Yeah, she's got it. She's ready. So then, let's see, so Mary's like, well, what I do know about Heather is that, you know, she's, she's two faced and I've said that and I went zip lining the other day and Lisa and it's brought up there. And so she tells them about how Heather's still going on about it, you know? And so Mary is like, well, why would she tell Lisa something rude that Angie said about her, you know? And why do you think that's okay? And so yeah, she's in trouble.

Yeah. She's like, you've got two faces and you need to work on that because I don't do two-faced people. I need one face at one time. And she's like, Heather leads with lies. Like I don't even care if your truth is ugly, just don't lie. So, and then they start talking about something

and then all of a sudden the phone rings. Like it's like a very loud ringer. And Robin's like, Mary, do you have a landline in the year of our Lord 2024? Do you have a landline? Who calls you on a landline? And Mary's like, I don't know, someone's calling.

Commercials, here comes one right now. So we go to Angie's for the day of her anniversary party and there's lots of wedding decorations and stuff like that. And then Elektra comes in and she's like, are you good? She's asking Angie if she's going to survive tonight. Or if Angie asks Elektra, who cares? And she's like, hey, tonight is girl power. Electra's like, oh my God, please never say girl power again. What is it the kids are saying now?

Riz power. No, stop it. She's like, please. Baddie, baddie on fleek, outie 5,000. She's like, oh my God. I don't even understand these lines. Pop that, Tom. I like Electra because she is so far in her life.

She has not taken the turn towards basic, like secret lives of Mormon wives. Like she does not, like she doesn't have the big basic hair. She doesn't have any of the basic stuff going on. She looks like she just, she's like the Daria of Utah right now. And I think that's what Utah needs very badly. So then Lisa's getting ready with John and he's like, wow, what are you thinking? Can't

wait to watch you try on clothes another night. Okay. Well, she said, my boy, I don't know. I kind of like this little dress with the fur. I mean, this, this, this little thing is really slick fur. And I bought this little Dolce dressing is wow That is little she's like yeah, I could do that. I could wear a little Gucci Yeah, I could do the little don't check your ass with a far I could do the fur yeah gotta have a fur Yeah, I'm gonna do that with a far. Can I touch the part? Can I touch with a far. And then we go to Whitney's house and she's getting her makeup done, which is a fascinating

process seeing what they do to her face. They are just shellacking her. We see that from beginning to end and it's a whole lot. So Whitney is like, just give me a fierce mob wife kind of bitch vibe. And then it's like, yes, queen, is everyone gonna be at the party tonight? And she's like, yeah, I freaking have to see Lisa Barlow though.

I'm kind of nervous. Things have gotten to a new low of nastiness. And I'm gonna stay as far away as possible cause you know, Justin's gonna be there and he'll get distracted with the guys. And there's nothing worse than a husband jumping into a fight. Which Justin is totally ready to do, that thirsty ass. Whitney's also just like, Yeah, it is the first episode of the season that I accused somebody of something they didn't do to give me a storyline for the rest of the season. They're like, oh, you go girl. Yeah, thanks.

So then we go over to Angie's and her family's coming and she's telling someone a story. She goes, you know what he said to me at my wedding? He said, I knew ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Sean, I am seeing a different side of Meredith, even though this has not been displayed for the American public, but I will just decide now. I have seen a different side. And he's like, well, you know how I feel about her. Icon mother. Hello. She's always welcome. You know, the last thing I would want is to, is to look over and see Meredith in the corner. No one puts baby in the corner. Get that bitch set a stage. Yes. So then Meredith is like, well, after last year when it was made abundantly clear that

I was not welcome ever in her home, well, here I am. The cats and navels is home. Here I am. And she's like, Meredith was alluding to the fact that she could destroy our family. And that you, oh, that's the thing from last year. She called you gay, Sean. And Sean's like, well, could you do me a favor and relay a message? Please sign a physical autograph. I love you. And okay, thanks.

So Meredith is like, well, but I was surprised I was invited this year. I guess this is a step forward, but I will say Mob Wives is a strange way to celebrate your anniversary, but I guess she knows how to celebrate her family. I don't, I didn't remember any single scene where Angie and Meredith had some sort of like thawing out. I mean, I think that maybe after the scroll thing, it was like, we're just going to resolve to move forward civilly, but I don't feel like I've seen any like quote unquote new sides.

So I don't know where this came from, but sure, you know, it's just the way housewives go. Things just change. So, um, you know, Angie does a toast to new beginnings and Meredith is like yeah making smoother sailing which by the way Whitney we have to talk about sailing for going on a trip no no no not that you've gotten you know listen you gotta deal at least okay you have to talk with her she's wearing a today, so it's gonna be a whole thing. So just be sure to talk to her.

Please, normally I would say don't start a huge fight at a party, but it's Angie's party and I'd love for you to do something to fucking up. That would be great. She's like, I will. I'm planning on it. Don't you worry. Wait a minute. Oh God. I should talk to Lisa

Barlow tonight. Oh God, Whitney. Okay. Good one, Whitney. You should do that. All right. That's enough. Yeah, Whitney. You'll feel better. We'll all feel better. She says, trust me. I do not like this filling. Oh, were you having a jelly donut or something? No, I don't like this filling. What, somebody would fill your gas tank or something like that? No, this filling that I'm filling. All right, I don't understand. Just talk to Lisa already.

So then Lisa comes like, hi, love that, hi. Hi, John. Hi, Nancy. Hi, Trevor. Oh my God, I love that. Hi John, hi Nancy, hi Trevor. Oh my God, I love us. So Andrew's talking about how things are like really awkward right now,

because they're friends that for 15 years would have been wrong not to include her, but it feels like if she had not come over, it would have been like the beginning of the end. So then more people show up. So Brittany is here. By the way, Brittany, our friend Danny Pellegrino unearthed, or maybe, or at least I was the one I saw through him, that Brittany is like

an actress and she has like a nice little IMDB of appearing in Hallmark movies. And I was shocked. I saw all this like footage of her from like 15 years ago of her acting in these movies that Danny put up. So just a fun little cadence, a fun little nuance to Brittany's backstory. Also, Mailey, cousin Melissa, my cousin Melissa, she was served an Instagram ad of some sort featuring Mailey talking like a turtleneck. So look at the story of our friends. a turtleneck. So look at the story live of our friends of. I think Brittany was also in Miss Saigon, right? Brittany from real house was SLC. Miss Saigon. Let me see if it was her.

What's production? Mary Brodo. Yeah. Tour. Yeah. Brittany, Brittany and second national tour of Miss Saigon. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's, good. Yeah, that's a pretty good credit. I hit the helicopter. It was so strange. She just ascends from the ceiling, going, bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh the ceiling. Please somebody come with me. Somebody. Is Jared here? Is Jared up looking for Jared? I've come all the way to Saigon. Has anybody seen an Osmond?

So Brittany is basically here with the town bicycle, this guy named Aaron. Because Heather sees Aaron, she goes, Oh my God, what is she doing here with him? I totally know him too. And it turns out that he just kind of bangs all the single ladies in town. This Aaron guy is like kind of a stud. And Brittany is like, Oh yeah, he's just someone I met on a dating app while Jared and I were broken up one time. And so, you know, when we're broken up, I just called the bike, take a ride. Here he is. You know, he's like my peloton. You know, you just get out when things are, when you're

feeling a little gloomy, you get on there and feel better. So, um,, he's like my peloton. You know, you just get out. When things are, when you're feeling a little gloomy, you get on there and feel better. So Heather's like, no, Aaron and I go back, way back. And yeah, basically Heather has made out with Aaron before, et cetera. And Brittany's like, I did not know that they knew each other. So I'm just, I love, I'm just like a possessive Ronnie's water

gel. So big. My god, my anyone hasn't arrived yet. I still have this one that's as big as a toddler. Oh my gosh. I'm so thirsty right now. I forgot to grab a water bottle before I sat down here and I'm like, Oh, you gotta have it. Yeah, I know. But I'm gonna power through because you know what, being a podcaster is also called being a hero.

So Angie is there basically just like laughing that like, wow, everyone's been with with this guy, Aaron. And and just like, wow, you move fast. So Mary just walks up to this guy and goes, excuse me, hi Jared, how are you? He's like, uh, Brittany says, no, no, no, this is Aaron. She says, oh, okay. Okay. Hi, Aaron, nice to meet you. And then she tells us, who's Aaron? And so then she goes up to Meredith and she goes, who's that

guy with Britney? Oh, his name is Aaron. No, it's not. It's not his name. It's Jared. No, it's not Jared. It's not. I don't know what Jared looks like. She goes, it is. It's Jared. His name is Jared. He's Jared Osment. That's him over there. She's like, no, Aaron. She goes, he's right behind you. Turn around. That's his name. Ask him. Ask him if it's his name. She goes, I'm not asking that. I'll look him up. I hold on. What? Look at this guy. Baby toddler without your breast finally. Okay, sorry. That was on the wrong window. All right, Jared Osmond. Here he is. Right here.

Here's a picture of him drinking from a mug that says liberal tears. See, it's a different person entirely. Oh God, I saw that too. Oh God. He also has a picture up of like Trump in a sombrero. That's like the Spanish word is believe. I don't remember. It was like some offense. I was like, wow, this guy, what a, what a strange, strange person this guy is. Yeah, truly. So, um, so Meredith is like, look, it's the same guy. I mean, it's not

the same guy looked it up. This is Jared Osmond. She goes, hmm. Mary's like, no, Mary's like, why things that's him. Pretty sure. Yeah, see, that's him pretty sure. Yeah, see that's him. There he is sitting in Pelosi's office. You don't see it. You don't realize there's two different people. So empty gives a speech and say hello everyone. I would like to give a speech.

Life is what you do while you're waiting to die. Life is how the time goes by. Wait a minute. Are those lyrics from Sorma the Greek? Be quiet, Sean. I'm trying to give a speech. Quiet, Brittany. This is my moment. So I am a great The Osmond's outside just yelling in the window. Is Jared Osmond here? So. Build the wall. No wonder why he's always saying his walls are up. So Angie's like.

So I guess. But they will be when Mexico finally pays for it. So I got married to Sean when I was 25. We're still standing 25 years later, though some little rumors and nastiness. Ha ha ha, get it? If you watched last season, it makes sense. See, the thing is that bitch Meredith over there

said rumors and nastiness. It's a callback. Anyone know? Okay. Meredith remembers, Pepperidge Farm remembers. Meredith's like, oh, mom, let me make a disapproval with the shaking of my head and my piercing eyes. We were chosen as moved.

Wait a minute. Maybe it was Lisa. Shut up Whitney, there's a speech going on. Are there cranberry meals here? Edith from the restaurant is like, would you like a cranberry meals here? He just from the restaurants like, would you like a cranberry meal? I'm trying to give a speech. Why are you in a strange Harpo Marx Groucho Marx costume lady? I had to give some speech and thanks everybody. And Melee's there and she goes up to Angie and she's like,

welcome, Melee. everybody and Mailey's there and she goes up to Angie and she's like, welcome Mailey. So then Bronwyn goes up to so and so, she goes up to Angie and she's like, oh Angie, hi, so I wanted to tell you something. So you and I are honest with each other, right? Well, Lisa and I met with each other. And she mentioned that she was very hurt because Heather had told her something that maybe you told Heather. So I just wanted to make sure I got the story correct. Because I think you made a comment about Lisa's parenting, maybe something like that. Maybe something like that, Heather, because I want it was. I didn't say she was. She wasn't a good mom. All I said is that her children are addicted to

video games like two soulless vessels, and that's probably the result of the way she raised them. That is it. And Brahman's like, yes, so it's definitely making a circle back to Lisa, and I'm going to tilt my head to the left to show that it's going in a circle. And Lisa knows. So I don't know where your situation with Lisa is, but I do feel like Heather starts a little fires and then kind of backs away and watches them burn. I don't appreciate that Heather did that because you told me not to. She is fully up like Lisa's ass right now and she is staying there.

Well if she understood that you felt sad about your friendship with Lisa breaking down, she wouldn't be fueling that breakdown by talking one thing to you and saying that, you know, saying the one thing that you said that felt a little spicy and just running to Lisa with it. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And Brawn's like, yeah, it did feel like she was pushing that and just pushing you to not to get along. So you know what you should do? Maybe I would never tell you what to do.

You should go start a fight. I'm going to go start a fight right now with her. Bronwyn's playing this so well already. She's just got here and she's already like, that bitch tried it with me. Okay, let's bring her down together at your party. Go fight with her. I will fight with her.

The show like needs somebody. I mean, that's kind of why Heather is what she is. And I think that's why she started that choir in the first place. She really just needs to boss people around and direct things. It's so funny that she's just so blatant about it on this show. And everybody does exactly what she says. And when Bronwyn brings it to their attention, they're all shocked. Like, wait a minute, I guess Heather did do that. You know? Mm-hmm.

Heather's getting a little bit of a villain at it this season, to be honest. So, um... She gets it every year, but she's starting... I don't... I think she's villainous every year. She just always has a really good way of starting off. And by the end, it's like, oh my God. Like, by the reunion, it's usually like, the audience is like, shut the fuck up. I mean, if you think back to the end of every season of this show, it's usually Heather Gay blundering hugely by reunion time. And she has built up so much goodwill during the season. But last year, obviously not. That was a hero reunion. That was the first one she made it out of hero. But usually it's like the black eye thing or the one before

that. What was the one before that? There was always like some weird gen stuff where the whole cast was against her a couple of years ago, you know, she came all bitter. Yeah. So, meanwhile, so we see Brittany and Aaron are kissing. And then Brittany goes up to Lisa and she goes, hi, so I just want to make sure we're good after our last conversation. You know, I know, like I know we were like had a really tense moment in the canyon. I was really upset with Jared that Jared and I had broken up.

But like, you know, because the whole face timing thing that you did. But look, now I have found Aaron, the new love of my life. Nothing can come between us. And now I'm realizing you're just being a great friend to me. So I you know what I apologize for snapping at you because if it had not been for you, I would not have fallen in love with Aaron, who I love deeply. And I really can't see myself with anyone else going forward. So Lisa's like, you know what? I think it needed to happen, Brittany. It's like reading

his messages. I felt like he was being like so manipulative. Like it reminded me of my ox that I was engaged to thrice times. And I'm like, I don't want you to have to go through that. Like it's really hard. It's really hard. Hold on. Mary comes up and she's like, I don't want you to have to go through that. Like, it's really hard. It's really hard. Hold on. Mary comes up and she's like, oh, hey, Mary. It's just, what are you guys talking about? Yo, we were talking about you. Just kidding. I'm totally kidding, Mary.

Mary, I'm just totally kidding. So, and Lisa's like, by the way, are we gone? Cause I feel like you were like jumping in on me for like a second too and I hated that, Mary. She's like, when? She's like, when's the blinding? She's like, no, here's the thing, Lisa. If I get into it with somebody, you're automatically going to take that other person's side and I don't like that. And we see a flashback to that fight that they had. And then Heather walks in. Well, I guess,

no, Lisa is saying like, she felt like in that moment, Heather had a right to bring up what she brought up at zip lining and stuff. And Mary's like, no, it's just not jiving with me that Heather is leaving a trail of lies everywhere. There's a trail of lies. And she's like, but I think she felt hurt. And she was just trying to express that. But she felt hurt by what it was. It wasn't even about her. So then Heather comes up, she's like, Hi, guys, what are you talking about? Anybody need somebody to fight with? And Lisa's like, I was just saying like we were talking about our zip lining conversation. I was like, that's about me. And Mary just goes, yeah, everywhere you drop and everywhere you stop, it's a lie.

Just tells it right there. And Heather's like, that's extremely hurtful. And I want you to back it up. She was like, okay, well, I'm not saying it to hurt you. So then stop doing it. I was like, well, that's extremely hurtful. More hurtful than the first time I said it was extremely hurtful. So you fucking tell me when I've lied, Mary Cosby. Nope, you dare. Don't you dare.

Okay, so if I tell you the truth and facts and I've received it in a timeline, and then you say it's a lie. You say it's a lie, Mary? She goes, we're not going to speak on the truth right now. Okay? She goes, oh, don't push me, Mary. I've been a very good friend to you, Mary Cosby. She's like, don't push me.

You're a liar. She goes, you're a liar. You're a liar. And by the way, this is all hilarious because again, Heather has this big fur around her shoulders because it's mob wipe scene. They all are like very all their hair is big. They got big furs and everyone's wearing black. So this fight sort of has this extra kind of like umph to it. And Mary is like, we know what? We'll take it to God. Ask God who's a

liar. And she says, God knows. Yeah, he does know. He knows all about you. He knows. Yeah, he does know. He knows all about you. Mary. People bring God into it. Like, oh yeah, well, God believes me. Uh-uh, God believes me. And so Mary's like, whatever I say behind your back, I say it to your face. Well, that's not honorable to say horrible, horrible mean things to my face. Do I do that? She goes, well, I do. Well, I don't do that. She

goes, fine. Well, name a time that I've ever been bad to you, Mary. She goes, name a time you've ever been good to me. She goes, well, okay. Well, she got me on that one. I mean, arguing with Mary is like arguing with the Mormon church. Okay. Okay. That seems a bit much. Pedantic there. You're literally just arguing against Mary's church. No, that's the word I'm trying to say. Pedantic is when you use too many words. What's the one where you're just like exaggerating with your words?

Zombastic. Over the... You know, I just felt like it's the middle of the recap. So I wanted to... Yes. I just wanted somebody to start beating on their steering wheel and yelling out the answer. So you guys go ahead, try and come up with that answer in your cars. Well, the producers are not helping Heather out because in a previous season when, you know, like when Mary's like, name a timeout, you've been good to me, they would have done a montage of Mary saying things like, you look in bread.

But instead, they didn't give the look at Mary being awful to the Heather montage, which means I think that the producers are siding with Mary here. So, um, cause Heather's like, she's been horrible to me and I don't, I didn't forget cue the montage. It's like crickets. Cue the montage of Mary being horrible to me. Oh, hold on. We have one of Mary preaching in a church. Ah, and a robe. I mean, hey.

Hey, that's Mary saving a baby squirrel. No, I meant the other one. Here's Mary saving a girl who fell off the freeway in her car. Well, actually she's passing by the girl, but she does do the sign of the cross. Yeah. That was me.

Mary was like, can I just express how I feel and you just accept it? And Heather goes, I mean, I thought we were in a good place. And then you came at me at ziplining. And then I was like, all these things that you felt it just pent up and just came out of left field. And I thought we were in such a good place. I really did. And Meri's like, well, I'm just saying how I feel. Okay. So do you feel like you've said everything you need to say to both me and Heather? And Mary's like, well, I'm just saying how I feel. So then Lisa's like, okay, so do you feel like you've said everything you need to say to both me and Heather? And she's like, yeah, I think so.

And then they're all like smiling again. Because Heather goes, should we do a group hug now? And Mary just cringes and then starts laughing. So then she goes up, Mary just goes over and sits to these two little girls on the couch. It's a lecture at electric other random little girl. She goes, Whoa, that that was a big argument that made my feet start hurting. And they're like, what happens just women?

Women? I think it's okay with Heather now, though. I mean, I keep going, but I'm not gonna let it go. Girls are like, what's happening? Just looks and she's like, I've just been talking to two children and she starts cracking up at herself. So fucking funny. So then Angie, so Angie, Heather comes over to Angie now and Angie's like, I am glad you're here. But I kind of get a little excited. Wait, I'm sorry. That was the wrong line. Confused. Bronwyn pulled me aside, tried to make me think that you are getting in the middle of

Lisa and I and our relationship and you are taking information to her and making me, making her think, but I think she is a shit mom. And I was like, well, you did come to my room and you were really fired up and you were making little digs and you did suggest that Lisa was an abuser and a gaslighter and a kidnapper and her kids weren't even hers and she found those kids when she was circling a corner of a Wendy's in a white van. Do you not remember saying any of those things? I never. Did I say those things? You did. I said those things because I meant it. Bring the kidnapper to me. Actually, the truth is almost more hilarious because Heather

goes, you mom shamed her about electronics. Radio Shack does. Your mom shamed her about electronics. You said she doesn't even know how to use a remote these days. So good. So fucking funny. Because I feel like something has shifted in you even though nothing has, but I'm just keep on saying it until everyone believes it.

And you no longer have Lisa's back. And she's like, I am blown away right now. You think I'm being mean at her? You take sides. It's not good. And she goes, I don't. Not against people, but against principals. I take side against principals.

And I love you. I support you. Principals, no. Schools should have no leadership. Let the kids do what they want. I'm against principals. There shouldn't even be a principal's office. There's so many things that we could use in place of that. So Angie's like, I know, but it doesn't feel like that right now. You're taking everything I say

and you're talking to Lisa about it. So now Heather's mad because Heather's been caught, right? So Heather's like, well, let's go talk to Bronwyn about it right now. So they go up to Bronwyn and Bronwyn's like, hi. Oh, she goes from smile to frown really quickly because she realizes this is not great. And Mellie is there too, Mellie. And you know, Mellie's like, oh, so Heather's like, Angie just told me that you have been in her ear telling her, says Heather, who's been literally in everyone's ear all season. And now she's accusing Bronwyn of being in Angie's ear like it's a bad thing. Which is so funny because this is so housewives because the argument is did you go tell something that Angie said you did. So why are you did not why do you need to talk to Bronwyn about it with Angie you know so funny. So yeah so she's like, and Brom was like, Oh, okay. Mm hmm. She was, well,

it shocked me that you told Lisa something that she was probably just fending to you about. She's, well, I'm friends with Lisa and we are dear, dear friends. And yeah, that's right. I said that about Lisa Barlow. And she knows it too. We're just like this. We're so tight, me and Lisa, you know, she's the Sundance queen. She's always loved me. It's just taken her a while to realize that we're really best friends underneath it all. Right, Lisa? Right, Lisa? And it's so funny because Heather has asked, like, why are you trying to get in the middle of my relationship with Angie Bronwyn? Why are you trying to meddle here? Like, why are

you trying to turn us against each other? I'm like, you are literally doing the same thing between Angie and Lisa. It's just so funny because she's so caught. So she has to turn it on on Bronwyn. So I think it's also coded language that Heather is using against Bronwyn when she's like, you know, no, when she's using against Angie when she's like, you know, you're changing your you've changed your demeanor has changed or your whatever has changed. I think she's saying like, Oh, now you had one good season,

so now you think you're the star of this show. Like you don't get to come in here and act like the fucking star of this show. Lisa is still the star of the show and you need her and you need to not act like you're a bad, because Heather's really big on that. Like you earned it and you've been here the longest. And I think it's kind of coded against Nancy

is what she's saying. And now she's coming to Bronwyn, like who the fuck are you to start a fight between two of the leads on this show when you just fucking got here? Yeah, exactly. And well, maybe she's also like doing that thing where you hate the thing that you see in yourself, right?

So she's accusing Angie of like having a shift when maybe it's Heather who's actually had the shift and she knows it and she feels like a certain sort of way about it. So she lashes out to someone else potentially. I don't know. It's just fun pop psychology to think about. So basically Angie's like, yeah, but if we're friends, then I need you to be more fair to me. And Bronwyn's like, yeah, let her fix it. You're out of line, Bronwyn. She's like, no, I'm not out

of line. You think you're head bitch in charge and you can manage everyone's relationships. Because if you trust her feedback over our history and our friendship, I cannot help you. It's not feedback. You're literally going and saying what Angie said to the person and causing a fight. It's not like feedback. So weird. Well, she's also giving Angie a heads up like, hey, if you're wondering why Lisa is really mad at you right now, it's because Heather told Lisa that you said that she was a bad mom. And I don't it's like, I don't know if it's true or not. But you should know, like Lisa is thinking that you said this. So Heather storms off and Angie's like, God, what are you

doing Heather and Mellie says she can't take it. Like, so they just beat Heather. They just got her. Mellie actually spoke and I remembered it. So that was a big, big moment for the show. So yeah, Ron Bronwyn is basically like, you know, she's over it. So Heather, then in the middle of it, you're like, wow, this is a crazy episode. And then in walks Jared Osmond in a suit, like all primped, all clean, all fresh. And it's like, it's like, you know, record scratch. Like Jared Osmond and everyone's like, oh, my God, Jared Osmond, Jared Osmond,

who wants to be private in his life, who, you know, he just wants private things because he's a private person has now shown up voluntarily at the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City at a party dressed to the nines. He wasn't invited to by the way. He wasn't invited to. He wasn't even invited to. So Heather goes, that's Jared. And Meredith goes, oh, you know, Mary tried to convince me that the other day that the other one was. And Mary goes, that's him? Oh, okay. Okay, now I get it. Oh my gosh, this is so weird. And when he goes, Justin invited him. So Justin invited him, Justin texted, Justin's laughing in the interview with a shitty grin because he's so happy he's heard the pot. And he was like, yeah, Jared's a friend of

mine. I thought, yeah, I should just text him and see if he wants to stop by. So we see that there's a text that Jared sent. I'm sorry, Justin sent from the party saying, Hey, we're at Angie's party and Brittany is here. If you're in the area, come by. So this guy, here's the Brittany's there. He gets dressed and drives all the way across down to come to this party. And then why is it spending the rest of the episode acting like, Oh, yeah, like, Whoa, sorry, didn't mean to break up the day. Just decided to come thirsty. Yeah. Yeah, he thinks he's doing something, but

it just looks like so sad. And you look desperate for TV time. And it's kind of pathetic. Sure. It's pathetic. It's close to fit you. Yeah. So, um, yeah. But also Britney's ridiculous too. And you can tell that they're both these people who are used to being in the relationship, like that prom queen prom king dynamic where everybody in the school really cares about our relationship. Oh my God, it's Sharon. She starts to cry. Oh my god girls, I'm crying cause Jared tears!

Like, oh my god, you two are ridiculous. This is so... What are you crying about? ...to both of you! Yo, what are you crying about? You should be furious right now. And then he's like, Oh, am I causing a stir? I'm not trying to. I guess that's just what happens

when you have the Osmond family name. I'm private. Stay away. No autographs, please. They're like, Oh my God, so Jared has never done anything. Oh my God, get his autographs. So then Bronwyn's like, Brittany, are you okay, Brittany? Do you want a drink? Do you want any? Please don't. You want, you want a hug for me? Don't you? Yeah, I really do. Oh God. Okay, okay. All right. Just try not to get your tears on my Dolce.

Thank you so much. Emily's still like, oh, Brittany! I would, I would, I would be upset. You know what? I would ask him to leave, but that's just me. You know what? You do what you want. You know what?

That guy needs to be like a Kit Kat and break off. Break off. So basically she like, like she gathers Brittany and she's like, okay, you've got this. Just go handle your shit. Come on, let's do it. So they walk up to him and he's like, hi, we're shocked to see you. I'm going to help her out a little bit. And he's like, what are why you're shocked to see me? What? Just because I wasn't invited by the host and I decided to crash the party? What? I can't believe it. And you're on a date?

Oh my God, I can't believe that you're shocked to see me right now. God. So then Mary is asking Aaron, she's back with Marin and she's like, so how long have you been together with that lady? And he's like, oh, you know, we've kind of dated a little bit for, you know, the last month or so.

She goes, I'm on. So outside Jared and Brittany are talking outside. Oh, I have to tell you something. I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but you'll like this. So this is weird, right? Cause her timeline is odd. Like you were with Jared a month ago, but she's like, we broke up, but they've broken up 18 times or weird, right? Because her timeline is odd. Like, you were with Jared a month ago, but she's like, we broke up, but they've broken up 18 times or something, right?

So she breaks up and then immediately starts, she says, I start flipping through the phone. I start flipping and I just start dating everybody again. Well, did you know that a unicorn in swinger culture, my friend told me this, in swinger culture, there's a term called unicorn and that means the lady that's single and that you can kind of pass around to everybody in the circle because she you don't have to deal with the husband. You just she can go with any couple because

she's single and they call that the unicorn. Isn't that interesting? Didn't someone give someone a unicorn gift on Secret Labs? Yeah, he did. Oh no, Jared gave her, Brittany, a unicorn. Jared gave her the unicorn gift and said, you're my unicorn or whatever. And that's their thing, like unicorns. And then Heather gave her a unicorn later to kind of comment on that. I just thought that was, I don't know if she's a swinger, but that's interesting because

that's such a big thing in Utah, apparently, the swinging culture. So there you go, food for thought. So they go outside because she's like, why'd you come here? He goes, well, I thought the charcuterie might be good, which is like a call back to their date when I think he really wanted to charcuterie then too. So she goes, this just makes me so much like more confused. Oh my God. He goes, listen, I didn't show up here to cause drama. I have no expectations. I'm not here to break up your date.

I came here cause I missed you. Like, okay, you were so full of shit. This guy is a narcissist, like asshole obnoxious, low rent dollar store Osmond and he needs to get off our TVs. She's like, you know, I love you, but it's like trying to move on. But then you show up. I just, Oh, what should I do? I guess you want me to leave. Guess while you've got a date, let's get you out of the cold and you can go with the inferior no name over there and see, ask about his life,

which will be filled with a lot of blah, blah, blah, nothing, nothing, nothing. Donnie and Shmurri, who were they? Sad, sad person. I mean, what is Jared doing? I want these romantic gestures. I want the big like, come rescue me on a big white horse a unicorn Perhaps and be my prince in shining armor or my knight in shining armor whichever one but this isn't that I just want him to show

Up for me like this because he wants to just because we're together. I don't want it because we're broken up I'm like, he's never gonna do it He's just gonna fuck with you when you break up with him and then you crawl back to him and then he's gonna treat you like shit, this is the life of a never has been Osmond. So move on, Brittany. Move on. Yeah, it's their whole fucking life. They're gonna be like this. So then she's like, I was just, it's so emotional. Oh, Brittany goes back in and she's like, are you okay, Erin? And he goes, are you okay? She's like, I'm just so emotional. It was just so shocking.

I didn't see that coming. Someone I've broken up with 18 times showing up in the same room as me. Oh my God, can I cry again girls? Where's everybody? Is no one gonna watch me cry? We're moving on already. Okay, well.

I think my feelings can best be expressed by the following song. Oh my God. I've seen that Target commercial of Cynthia Revo where people are, they see Wicked and they start, I don't know, they start singing something. She goes, hold on, That's my line. Girls, no good deed goes unpunished. I've learned it the hard way with Jared. That's her. That's Britney. Every time she needs someone to pay attention to her girls. So then Whitney, now it's time for the main event. We've had like the opening fights

and now it's time for the main event. So Whitney goes up to Lisa and she's like, can we talk? So in Milwaukee, are you aware you left your son Ray behind? She's like, oh, the necklace. Yeah. The necklace I gifted you. I accidentally left it in my room. What, the maid didn't take it either? That's so sad. So it was an accident? It was a total accident. Really?

Cause you brought the information about Prism that was posted to the group. You did. She was, mm-hmm. What's the problem? Well, I had someone who knows that account reach out to them and they verified that, wait for a minute.

I think that you were the one who fed them the information. I did not do that. I did not do that. I did not. I did not. And at least it just flies right off the handle. It's so good. I mean, obviously like so guilty, right?

Because like, I think if you're innocent, you're like, what? What are you talking about? No. You think that- I don't think so at all. Really? No, I think if you're innocent, like what, what are you talking about? You think that- I don't think so at all. Really? No, I don't think so at all. I think she flew like that because Whitney lies every single season. That was a whole first episode fight against Whitney was like you lie against her.

You've lied against Heather. You've lied against me. You've lied against Meredith and everything you say is bullshit. You just come into with these huge lies to have a storyline. And then Whitney left that party and then they all made up. And now Whitney shows up and she's trying to do it again. And Lisa's like, oh hell no, no I did not. Don't start accusing me of something like that. I'm calling my lawyers, calling off six of my lawyers. Right now, my life.

She gets somebody on the phone. They narrated down to you. They narrated down to you. No, it's not me, Whitney. It's not fucking me. It's not true. It's not true. It's not me. I did not DM that account.

You're getting bad information from someone that's bullshit. Okay. So then why are you mad at me? So when you're mad at me, you plant stories. No, I don't, Whitney. I don't.

Okay, cause you know what? I'm gonna sue them. Tell me who said it, cause I'm gonna sue them. Because it's a lie. You trust that person, but not me. It's a lie.

I'm gonna sue them. I'm gonna sue them. Little girl, you but not me. It's a lie. I'm going to sue them. I'm going to sue them. Little girl, you're fucking dullable. Okay, like maybe if you had to like actually make your jewelry you wouldn't have the time to fabricate this shit. She goes, you know, the last time we left each other you treated me and you texted me and you said you loved me. And that's the last time I heard from you.

She goes, well, I do love you, Lisa. That's why this hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. It's trauma. I didn't do it to you. Shut the fuck up about that. I didn't do it to you. Shut the fuck up about your lies. But then hold on. Wait a minute. Then how come I have proved that you did it then? I am love on. I am love on. Okay. I don't know. Okay. You know what? How do you think it makes me... How do you think I feel? I don't know how you feel because you're making it up right now.

But yeah, to know that potentially one of the Fly friends went and bashed my business. Hold on. Give me the names right now. We're going to investigate every fucking one of them. You give them to me. Sean, Sean, private security, Sean. Hey, Sean, I need an investigation open because I'm being accused of something that I did not do. I'm going to send you information. I want you to go the distance on it. Ryan Murphy is going to make a show on this called Monster Season 4. Whitney Rose, get it. Get glorious dynam over here. Get Mark Garrow goes to to have a fight with each other in the cap all the way here. I'm taking this bitch down. That was big government.

We're taking it all the way to the top. This is going off the way to judge Mathis. And Heather's like, who is she calling? And John's like, I think she's calling one of our like, our like our security guy. It's sort of a thing that happens like every week. Like, oh, cybersecurity cybersecurity guy, right? I love him. Hi, yeah, Sean.

So yeah, what is accusing me of doing something I did not do? So like, I want you to get the police involved. OK, because it's my character. OK, OK. I arrested him as a as a by an infraction of character. And I want to get the police involved and go the distance distance, he keeps on saying go the distance on this. Go the distance, you know what, get the LA police involved too.

And while you're at it, well, I meant Los Angeles, but also the Louisiana would be fine too, get them involved too. You know what, and Salt Lake police too. And you know what, you owe me a big fucking apology, Whitney. I'm gonna send you a bell. I'm sending you a bell. Someone get Mariska Hargitay on the phone. This is going off. This is

getting serious now. Okay, I'm like, Lisa, you're at a mob wise party. I think calling cops is against the rules. No kidding. Also, let me just tell you, I'm not sure about cops everywhere, but the LA cops probably won't show up. So I might be wasting some some money on that. You know, I'll call in real detectives, not Whitney Drew, who thinks I'm connecting the dots. Honey, you did not pass art or math or geometry or anything else. You should not be anywhere near dots because you're not good at connecting dots.

If that wasn't a Salt Lake City monologue, I've never heard one. You know what? You've never even studied math or geometry or physical education. You went to school, right? You did not major in the dot sciences. You wouldn't even know how to find a book in a library because you don't understand the dot system. Wait a minute, is that how it's done?

All right, you know what, Sean, write me a different dot joke. You probably never printed anything out for the first 15 years of your life because you didn't ever have access to a dot matrix printer. I'm not lying. You know what?

Every time I think your friends were friends, you fuck it up right now. And she's like, see, I can yell and scream all she wants. She just shows me that I caught her because wait a minute, I think Lisa was the one who went to the block. Whitney, shut the fuck up. Another Moscow. I mean, another friend, but a Mule please from Moscow. So Lisa's like, actually know what, Wendy? Stop fabricating things. But I make my own jewelry. It's a term, okay?

I don't know what to believe because you lie about everything. Justin, how do you do this? How do you deal with the lies and sit through the shit? I would never ever do it. She's not a liar. Don't call my wife a liar. How dare you? She is a liar, Justin. And Justin's like pushing wife a liar how dare you she's a liar Justin and Justin's like

pushing John out of the way like he's gonna fight John he's like I'll beat his ass oh yeah Justin you're gonna beat at John's ass wow big big guy big guy Justin do it buddy well YouTube TV cut it off and um so I don't know what happened those last few seconds so I don't know if you know what happened those last few seconds was it just that a know if you know what happened those last few seconds. Was it just that a to be continued sign that went up on screen? Yeah, yeah, I was to be continued. Yeah. So don't don't don't don't. Oh my God. What a whole. I mean, the episode was truly hilarious.

You know, anytime we all know that the sacred rule of the Real Housewives is if they are getting dressed and ready to go to the party around the 20 minute market, you know, it's going to be a good episode. wives is if they are getting dressed and ready to go to the party around the 20 minute mark, you know it's going to be a good episode. Okay, when they're getting dressed at like the 47 to 48 minute, like I don't know why it's like that very specific minute range I gave, but if they're getting dressed late in the show, it's a it's like a fine party. It's like with a little bit of a dust up about when when it's early, you know you got a good show on your hands. Yeah, it was very, very good.

All right, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. We will be back tomorrow with some real housewives of Hollands County. Eh. Eh, bonjour. Thank you, everyone. Talk to you later. Bye.

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