Watch What Crappens - #260: An Affair To Remember

Episode Date: January 22, 2016

Bravo-mania! Kathryn Edwards join RHOBH! Couples bicker on Newlyweds: The First Year! Dawn throws a terrible dinner party on Real Housewives of Cheshire. Won't you be a doll and listen to us gab about it? Here are the time codes: 00:10:46 - Crappens Mailbag 00:36:30 - Some fun OC Gossip 00:44:22 - Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 01:48:01 - Newlyweds: The First Year 02:15:30 - Real Housewives of Cheshire Thanks for listening! Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is brought to you by Texture. Try Texture for free right now when you go to texture.com slash crappins. Watch what crappins. Watch what crappins.

Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins. Crappins.

Crappins. Watch what crappins. Watch what cra when there's so much that happens. For this episode, we want to thank our super sponsor, Marvin Day. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens. For this episode, we want to thank our super sponsor, Marvin Day. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crap Is. It's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me on this beautiful, sunny, breezy day here in Los Angeles is the hilarious, multi-voiced, probably super comfortable in his couch desk,

Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi, Ronnie. Hello, everybody. Hello. Hello, Ben. What up? I am very comfortable. I'm moving my furniture around so my neck hurts because my neck isn't used to facing

the same way in the new position of the couch desk oh my god that's crazy uh how is your day going so far i am really i have like a lovely breeze coming through here it's just a beautiful la day is it not yeah it is really pretty i can't keep my windows open because my neighbors complain while i do the show because we're so loud well i i luckily my window faces over another building, so if they complain, it doesn't matter. It won't affect my building. You live by MJ. No one's going to complain about you.

She will always top you. MJ, I'm right in between MJ and the gay guys from Newlywed's first year. I'm wedged right in between those, and formerly Ashley of Real Housewives of New Jersey, and Matt Whitfield. So this is a power block Housewives of New Jersey. And Matt Whitfield. So this is a power block going on over here.

Little Matty Whitfield. Little Matt. Little Matt, he wrote on our Facebook page about Lisa Vanderpump. I think he called her a monster. Which is a really great segue to remind people that if you come to Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens, there is a great, active, hilarious online community there, including our former co-host Matt Woodfield, who pops up from time to time to throw shade at Lisa Vanderpump. It is honestly a great source of anything you want to know about Bravo. The moment something happens, I know for me, I go immediately to our Facebook page because I see everyone's chiming in, etc. All the gossip is there.

So that's really cool. Almost 6,000 likes. We also have WatchYourCrapHands.com, which is where you can find our links to all our other social media on Instagram and Twitter and Vine and who knows where else. Grindr, OkCupid, wherever else you might find us. Most awkward Grindr ever. Wherever else you might find us. Most awkward Grindr ever.

I remember when I was on Grindr, I actually, I think like once, maybe twice, I did get hit up by someone who was like, I like your podcast. Awkward. You know what's funny actually today? Side note. When I was down at Ralph's just earlier to get my coffee from Starbucks, my in Ralph's Starbucks, there was this guy. He did not just text me. But there was this guy who, Ronnie, like three years ago, we went out to, what's it called, Revolver,

the bar like around Christmas time. Do you remember that? I sure do. And there was this really hot guy that was there. And I remember it was like, I was like, should I talk to him? Should I not talk to him? He's so hot. And I finally got up the balls, and I talked to him, and I actually wound up getting his number, and I felt really cool because I got a super hot guy's number, which was very triumphant for me at that time. And then I remember I texted him the next day, and then he just never wrote back.

And I was like, damn, he was so hot, and I thought I had a chance with him day and then he just never wrote back and i was like damn he was so hot and i thought i had a chance with him and then he never texted back so you know it's not a big not a big deal in life but today at starbucks that guy was apparently it was because the next year you're like oh my god that mother effer well i remember everyone i remember everyone i remember everyone who doesn't text me back just so you know but today at starbucks he was there and uh he didn't know if i was in line or not he's like are you in line and i was like oh my god he has kristen voice and i felt so much better about myself isn't that the worst when they're so hot and they're like hi yeah i was like oh no i was like oh and like the sober light of day i mean still hot not that it matters you

know i'm taken but he's still hot but i'm it matters. You know, I'm taken. But he's still hot. But I'm like, oh, but you have a ridiculous, stupid sounding voice. And that somehow made everything right in the world. That actually happens with me when I meet people because I talk like this when I meet people. But then once I start talking, I get like, girl. And I see the look of horror just kind of slowly wash over their face. Yeah. And then, you know know i get to look at their butt as they walk away oh hugs oh so there's already been a lot of hashtag justice today

and hashtag kristin slash uh megan king edmunds voice today in real life irl and it's future robin we've i've got to work on that robin lives of uh Potomac. Potomac. But we're giving Robin... She has more of this sound. It was big. It's slummy.

Slummy. Also, everyone, be sure to support us on Patreon because tonight, hopefully you're listening to this in time, tonight we have our Google Hangout that we do with our Patreon subscribers. And that is at, it's going to be at 6 p.m. Pacific

and 9 p.m. Eastern. That's for people who donate, I believe, at the $2 level. So if you donate at least $2 a month, you can join our Hangout. All the details will be on the Facebook page. Look at that synergy. It's so much fun. I'm excited to have a night just drinking with some friends, some video chat friends.

I know. It's going to be fun. You never have to leave. Well, it's going to be fun. I'm sure we'll have a lot of Bravo stuff to talk about, especially with all these new housewives. And there's just been a lot of Bravo gossip lately. And then, of course, I'm sure we'll also be discussing Making a Murderer.

So that's going to be super fun. So thanks to everyone who supports us. And we do, if you are a Making a Murderer fan, we have bonus episodes. The last two ones we did have been strictly devoted to that show. So go eat your heart out. And someone asked on our Twitter, if you're like a new Patreon supporter,

can you get access to all the previous bonus episodes? The answer is yes, you do. So there's like 68 hours worth of stuff. Yeah, next week it's a very special 69 episode. I don't know what that means, but those are always fun. One of us will record upside down. I hate 69. That's like the worst ever.

But we don't need to talk about that. That'll be on the 69th episode. Work and pleasure at the same time. I don't get it. Yeah. You know, speaking of pleasure, Ronnie, you know what pleasures me a lot? Magazines. Whoa.

That's the perfect intro. Yeah, it really is. Because guess what? This podcast, as you may have heard, is sponsored the perfect intro. Yeah, it really is. Because guess what? This podcast, as you may have heard, is sponsored by Texture. And we have actually a lot of things to say about Texture. First of all, I know a lot of you guys have New Year's resolutions, right? Like you want to learn to cook or get in shape or things like that. Well, guess what?

There are a lot of magazines that will help you on your journey, and guess what? Times two, you can probably access almost all of them on texture. Yeah, heck yeah. Are you trying to get in shape? Get the latest workouts from Health or Shape magazine, or maybe you want to be the next Juliana. Just download US Weekly or People and stay in the know that's juliana

ransack in case you want to know like yeah she's not really a one name kind of i was like i think she you just you just made a career highlight for her that she she graduated to a one namer juliana margalise is so pissed right now you guys can read about it on your texture i know so you know starting at less than $10 a month, Texture offers unlimited access to all of your favorite magazines for less than the price of three magazines at the grocery store. Browse hundreds of magazines and cherry-pick the articles that interest you the most. Mm-hmm. The Texture editorial team recommends stories for anyone daily,

plus their curated collections let all of us dive deeper into topics. Sign up for Texture right now and in mere seconds gain insider access to the very best reads plus exclusive content. And it's super easy to use. Just click headlines on the cover page and Texture takes you right to the articles that interest you the most. You guys, stop wasting time flipping through pages pages stop wasting paper stop wasting your money get texture today okay so here's how you do it okay texture is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to texture.com slash crappins and by the way it really is a good app definitely use it a

lot on the toilet it's a great great place to use it and it like when you're waiting someplace think about that on the pot you guys will get unrestricted access to the world's best magazines from back issues to the one on newsstands today yeah like if you want to read sean penn's el chapo thing that everyone's getting all excited about, it's actually on Texture right now. I just looked at it myself. So take advantage of this offer right now and take on your New Year's resolutions, which may include reading about drug lords, with some serious magazines and stuff. Try Texture for free right now when you go to texture.com slash crappins. I absolutely love that this is like a New Year's thing.

And they're like, do you guys want to exercise? Are you trying to lose weight? Read more magazines. Sit down, boy. Do something various. Sounds good to me. Well, it's actually good. Honestly, I've actually used texture when I've been on the exercise bike at the gym.

So there's another good use for it, everyone. Well, this is that time of January where I've given up hope on all New Year's resolutions. I'm like, okay, still going to be fat until 2017 and not making any career effort. So might as well read some magazines. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, another thing we could read are some questions from the Krappins mailbag. Dun, dun, da-da-dun.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh... I'm a sponsored question to the mail bag but it's actually because it's a sponsored questions to the mail bag but it's actually because it's a sponsored questions someone actually sponsored to the mail bag but it's actually put into the mailbag, but it's actually because it's a sponsored question. Someone actually sponsored this question. And I don't think he wants his name. I think he wants to remain anonymous. And if you do want credit, next episode,

just email us and we'll mention you next episode. Well, actually, this request goes out to YQ. Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. It's like Casey Kasem. It's a long-distance dedication. Say, YQ, this mailbag is Brian Adams, and it's going out to YQ. YQ, I hope you're listening, YQ. I don't want to say goodbyeQ I don't wanna say goodbye

I don't wanna wait I don't wanna fall asleep Cause I'm Miss B And I don't wanna Who sings that? I think you sort of hit some Aerosmith in there And then I was sort of overlaying it with Paula Cole

Which is basically Brian Adams Aerosmith and Paula Coleman It's pretty much everything that YQ could have asked for And then I was sort of overlaying it with Paula Cole. Which is basically Brian Adams. Aerosmith and Paula Coleman. It's pretty much everything that YQ could have asked for. That's what I think. We're giving you low IQ for YQ. I don't know if you guys were expecting more focus today, but don't plan on it.

Yeah. Because it's not going to happen, all right? Okay. I'm in a very good mood and i my legs are over the couch desk and i'm just ready to lay around and talk some shit give birth so sir i almost revealed the secret identity um so um uh he writes uh my instant request which is also lol very casey casey my instant request would be how would Petta Fleur defend herself against Magali's yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, no, no accusations of stealing

her book title? Would she be freaking out? Of course. Okay, so how would that go? Okay, so... Some people read, some people look at TV. Some people listen to audiobook, some people read. I read. I read this book. This people look at TV. Some people listen to audiobook. Some people read.

I read. I read this book. This book has title already. What is this bitch? Who is this bitch? I'm a bitch. You're a bitch. We are bitches.

But who flips? Like, who does the flip, flip, flip, flip, flip? Okay. Like Omarosa, she has a book. Petty Flo, she has a book. Like, we all have book. I like her. There are many different kind of bitch. Whoa. Okay. Petty Fleur, she has a book. Like, we all have book. I like her. There are many different kind of bitch.

Whoa. Petty Fleur, whoa. There are many different kind of bitch. You don't tell me, and I don't tell you what kind of bitch is in the bitch, okay? This bitch is switch the bitch. The other lady wrote book? Fine. I'm switching that bitch to me.

Now it's me. This lady, she is freaking out and I say she is mad right now and I decide I'm going to walk right up to her and just listen. Whoa, Petit Fleur, whoa. I would like to introduce you to my son, who

understands copyright law and book openings and book editing and also how to massage his mother's temples and crap her boobs in parties in ways that are non-offensive. Please meet my son. Whoa. Whoa. What is this moon coming through?

What is this moon? Why are they dancing slowly in front of a moon? What is this all happening? It's all like spaceships going up like and then and then we landed. Oh, so you have to make fun of my moon now to feel important? This is winter. Okay?

This is winter party. You don't even have a jacket on. You are wearing a cougar and a fur at the same time. A cougar and a bear at the same time in my home. Well, because the cougar goes, wow. But the bear goes, huh. And I said, I have a bear. You have a bear.

So, okay. Whoa. All these noises. You need to stop switching the mammal and switch the bitch. Okay? She's all I hear is tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And she's typing. I'll be like tick, tick, tick, tick.

And her printer will be like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And then, whoa, book. You are talking to someone who was one time very, very poor. Very, very poor. I would look on the street and see the poor people and say, that is me. And now I am on top of building on wooden moon with the sun making out with me looking down on all the poor people. So switch that, bitch. You know, I am poor. She's poor. We all poor. Like, this is okay. It's like another night in Cheshire, you know? Or like, this is okay. It's like another night in Cheshire, you know?

You know, this is actually just as nonsensical as those two bitches would be together in a room. I know. I know. It really... They wouldn't really know what they're fighting about. It's a more elevated conversation, let's be honest. So who bought you this fur? Who bought you this fur? You could not buy this yourself. If I was going to wear a cougar and a fur, I would own it myself because I make everything myself.

Even though I drove here in a Bentley that I begged for for five years from my rich husband. But still, it doesn't count. You know that Magali would really like Petty Fleur because one of Petty Fleur's self-anointed signatures is – Did something just fall over on couch desk? Yeah, Bueller tried to lay down and he knocked over a picture frame. I can't keep anything nice, Bueller. Okay, now you can get a suntan in the sun.

Relax. Well, I was going to say that since Petty Fleur's signature is a snap, I think Magala would really respond to that because she likes short staccato noises she can repeat over and over again. What is this noise? Okay. What is this noise? Yeah, but she'd be like, why you only make one

noise? Who is supposed to understand you with one snap? Okay. It needs to be snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, or clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, but snap? No. No one listen. I can't listen to one snap. You're going to snap at me? You better not snap at Magali. You better not snap at Magali. You better not snap at Magali.

Magali, don't take sides. Magali's Magali. Magali's Magali. Magali's Magali. And then folds her arm like Mr. Clean. Try to do whatever you want to do, Petty Flo. But Magali's Magali. So Petty Flo, I don't even know if she's going to be the same woman when Melbourne starts.

Because she looks so different now. She has a totally different face a totally different body i'm sure she's still got her thumb up her butt but otherwise everything on her is different yeah she is uh she's falling into that fame trap where she's seen herself on tv and she's like read some things on twitter where they're like look at her she's fat or something, and she's like, okay, I'm just going to change my face. And you heard the word fat, and you opened a ThinkThin bar. Yeah, you can hear it crinkling. I was trying to do

it very quietly. I'll put the mute button on so that no one hears, because I forgot to eat it right before, so... We really need to get ThinkThin as a sponsor, because I swear I eat so many of these things on this podcast. Oh my God. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. No, I hate that. Oh my god. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. No, I hate that. Oh my god.

Do not smack in the microphone, Katie. I'm not going to. I'm going to put the mute button on. No, I probably won't. Don't put the mute button on. What am I going to do? I'm going to be monologuing. No, it's like a cough.

It's like a cough button with DJs. You know when they have to cough, they press the cough button and that way you never hear it. Hey, was that a subtle hint? Oh my gosh, now I have to cough. You see how we are? It's suggest you caught but you can't cough while i snack because then we'll both be on mute this show is gonna be 20 hours today hey what's in the mailbag

thinking thin person sorry i was muting my eating okay the next question is actually food-related. It's from Catherine. It's food and cough drop related. How fitting. Fits right into this mailbag section. Okay, this actually is good because we didn't talk about Top Chef last week. I mean, on the last episode.

And it's from... So Catherine asks, last week's Top Chef, episode and it's from so katherine asks last week's top chef uh was it stupid for wesley to knock out angelina during the sudden fire sudden quick fire you know sudden death quick fire uh probably the weakest one left in the sudden death if he fell on his sword he could have escaped being eliminated later on the episode or probably would have improved his chance also who's your favorite chef left on the show ronnie you answer. Well, yes, if you use logic after the fact, of course. But the problem is with this show, it's not really about logic. It's not a typical cooking game show, which is kind of what they're trying to be the past couple seasons.

It's like all these – now we're traveling, now we're traveling, and now it's a quick – now it's a sudden death. And now there's 30 people in the cast. So we have they never know when they're coming when they're going they're so tired they have to cook so much shit i don't even think people are using any kind of like gameplay logic because it's supposed to be about how well you cook it's not supposed to be some fucking food network show that they're like, oh, and now you have to make a souffle with a sword. Yeah. Good luck. Your secret ingredient is sandpaper. Enjoy.

Yeah. I mean, I think that he probably, well, I mean, he had no idea he was going to get eliminated later that day. And, you know, he has to cook as best as he can because it's still, it's one less person to go up against. But I don't know. I mean, Wesley was sort of a disaster. And I kind of felt bad for him

that every time he really fucked up, he did it when Richard Blaze was judging. I don't even remember what the main challenge was last week. Do you remember what it was that he went home for? I don't. And I watched it, but I was like, ugh. Because they loved most of it. By the time they even get to the end, there's already been so much running around and competing.

There's already been that sudden death or whatever the hell that thing was. And so by the time it gets to the real one, I'm exhausted. I've already worried so much. I'm tired now. Yeah, because the first, the the quick fire they were like um on like a pier and they had to make something they made something spicy or whatever oh and then make fish tacos you made fish tacos for the the the quick fire the sudden death i don't remember but who cares and then the the the main challenge i just remember richard blaze was there

and he said it was the weird oh he uh, the serious gay, the serious gay who looks like he's from 1962, he made like a squid meatball. Yeah, yellow pants. He made a squid meatball, and Richard Blaze is like, it was the weirdest thing I ever ate in my life. It tasted like it came from another planet. I'm like, just settle down, okay? Like, you already got your job as a judge. Like, stop overdoing it so much. He really does, that Richard Blaze.

I feel like I'm on a different planet. Like, if this was video, you could see how gigantically my mouth is opening up. Because it's like a hungry hippo mouth. He can open his mouth. Like, he can unhinge his mouth like a snake and just open it all the way back. Like one of those characters on South Park Park the ones who are always farting their mouths are just like Pac-Man mouths that's kind of how he is

I feel like he looks very anime actually he has a total anime face his mouth looks to me like an upside down triangle and so does his jaw and he sort of has eyes I don't know, think richard blaze is anime with a faux hawk even though he doesn't have a faux hawk anymore it's just well i think he has anime anime face shape but his eyes are totally simpsons he's got like matt graining eyes

well i remember the chefs took over his restaurant they did that and then they had to cook something i don't remember what it was um i was invested but i don't remember i remember i was happy because the um the the lesbian from boston who we really like or at least who i really like she she won for doing something i can't even i don't even know she's a lesbian because i'm not sure remember we had a whole discussion she has she has her spouse that that you you originally had said that the spouse was a transgender like woman to man yeah actually but it was just it's just a just a very very a lady in a tux yeah but um but she never says my wife she always says my spouse always like it's a it's something she's obviously

making an effort to do to say spouse instead of husband or wife so i'm not really sure it doesn't really matter but i don't know i'm curious you know yeah it's just really part of the lgbt there's q q and c now so curious or questioning or whatever i'm questioning all right so yeah i'm questioning everything in life i'm gay and questioning i'm fluid i wish i had recorded what was going on while i was watching top chef because i started redecorating my apartment on january 2nd still doing it because i do like one thing and then i sit down i'm like i'm exhausted so nothing's done my apartment's still shit but my my bestie trisha was over and she we were

watching top chef while i was painting a wall so i really needed to have a camera on tricia just going let's just step up because that's basically what it was she's like oh my god look how padma i love her and we were making fun of how padma speaks she's like hello chefs welcome to the sudden death challenge like no matter what the house could be burning down and padma and tom of how Padma speaks. She's like, Hello, chefs. Welcome to the Sudden Death Challenge. No matter what, the house could be burning down and Padma, and Tom Padma, Padma would be like, Chefs, the house is burning

down. Please stop, drop, and roll. So deadpan with everything. I love Padma, though. I do. Oh, I do, too. I like Padma. She does everything for me. I like that she's always stoned and always looking around who she's going to fuck.

Like, she's got that gay guy thing. I saw a comedian one time. He did an impersonation of gay eyes, and they were just darting all over the room. It was so funny. And that's what Padma is. She doesn't dart. She looks very slowly around. Like, she's sizing up both your brawn and your bank account at the same time.

I love her. I love her. I love her. One last question from Justin Yan all the way in China. Justin Yan is also a friend of mine. So he asks this. Here's a classic Krappens mailbag question. Uh, it is the year 2626 and transcripts of the Real Housewives series are now considered

classic texts for English literature courses in the best colleges in the country. Which housewife would be considered the Jane Austen of her time? Who would be the Shakespeare? Who would be the Gertrude Stein? Who would be the Marquis de Sade? It's not Sade, right? And who would be the Nietzsche? Oh, my God.

You know I'm too dumb to know all of those authors. Jane Austen. It would probably be something like Dorinda. They'd be like, when she writes about the chaos crown. Jane Austen, it'll probably be something like Dorinda. They'd be like, when she writes about the chaos crown, what she's describing is a class system. I think Jane Austen would be Portia because... She's looking for romance. She's always looking for romance,

and she found it with the stuffy guy that everybody told her she would be with, you know, the millionaire who would just boss her around and possibly have sex with other dudes on the side. I think. Oh, sorry. And now she's just trying to be a strong, independent woman. And I'm trying to find somebody in this time when mom doesn't approve. You know, it's like all the typical Jane Austen things, you know. She's becoming her own woman and being proud of it.

And only then can she find her true love. Who will probably be some 20-year-old go-go boy from, you know, Charlotte. But still. I actually would have thought Lala would have been more of the Jane Austen of her time. Although that technically doesn't count because it's about the real housewives. But I'd still say Lala. Because not only is she looking for love, but she's also socially aspiring. She's aspiring to get into the higher levels

of the Sir class ladder. Yeah, but Jane Austen women don't really just fuck everybody. They give it some time. That's all about marrying. Lala literally swims in every man pool she comes across. That's true.

I would definitely not equate the name Lala literally swims in every man pool she comes across. That's true. That's true. I mean, I would definitely not equate the name Lala with Sense and Sensibility. I'd probably just... Lala's book title would just be more like, Let's fuck. I don't know. I'll fuck you. Fucking fuckability.

Don't try and deny it later. Bye. Lala Austin. Shakespeare would have to have some sort of poetry. So that's the trick. For some reason, I just keep thinking Megan King Edmonds. I don't know why. Well, Magali could probably be Shakespeare because she does so many odd things that don't seem like their poetry.

But if you do the math, they probably are like pentatonic or whatever. Look, I'm saying right now, I'm ignorant. And I've actually seen and read a ton of Shakespeare. And I'm usually like, huh? Because the way I look at it, Shakespeare is the first man who ever wrote a drag show. Those were all like big soap operas, like over-the-top soap operas, like over the top soap operas.

And all the roles were played by men. So to him, you know, I think of it like the author of Real Housewives of Atlanta or something. Well, or, you know, Luann de la Seppe also could probably score in this category because she actually has a small tome of lyrical master masterpieces such as money can't buy you class and and also sheik selavi so she's she's also she's actually actively rhyming she's probably the she is probably the one who probably is the closest to writing a sonnet at this point because shakespeare doesn't rhyme so you'd have to use like an erica jane in there it would just be like you could you could even use all the same titles it would be like henner the ape you know you just have to leap out a vowel or two

pat the puss pat the puss people will be studying that one for a long time well i mean technically you know i mean candy burst is the only one here actually churning out, you know, pieces for the theater. So Candy could also, you know, A Mother's Love may soon be the Macbeth of its time. That is wrong, Candy! It's wrong, Candy!

Especially since one of the original cast members is named Portia. And I mean, isn't there, I feel like Portia is actually a Shakespearean name. Isn't it from like, as you like it or something like that. Someone named Portia,

Midsummer Night's Dream, Gertrude Stein. So I, so it's funny. Okay. So who did this bitch? Okay. I've heard Gertrude Stein forever,

but I have no, no idea. I've never read her. I've actually never read any of, I've actually never read any of Gertrude Stein science stuff but she was an expat from the 20s so basically maybe someone maybe it was maybe she's like kimberly from season one season one of real house has orange county who left to chicago she's um hold on i'm gonna feel so i already feel so stupid she's gretchen i have to look and see what she wrote.

Hold on. Literary career, starring in America, books, QED, Bernhurst, Three Lives, The Making of Americans, and Tender Buttons. Tender Buttons? I'm like laughing at Gertrude Stein's work. Ha ha, Tender Buttons. I'm like laughing at Gertrude Stein's work Haha, tender buttons I'm gonna say Gertrude Stein

Is Bethany because Her final book was tender buttons And that's like totally What Bethany's against But in that time that would have been the body to be going for You know, back then Bethany would have been writing books like Listen, what you need, your button, it needs to be tender

Okay, don't argue with me If you want a man, you need a tender button. Okay? Drink this. Drink this tea with cream and rust and it'll make you tender. Your button will be tender. Literally, if you ask me for a non-tender button, I am just going to be on the floor crying right now. Okay?

My walls are up. The only thing that you're allowed to put over the wall are some tender buttons. Okay? I really want to read Gertrude Stein because she's had lesbian relationships and also she was the one who said there's no there there, which I like. I've always liked that saying. There's no there

there. Oh, well, then that would be Tamara Barney. No. Tamara said that? No, I was going to say no because there's no there there. Oh. This was Gertrude Stein writing about Tamara Barney. Yeah. There's no there there. Oh, this was Gertrude Stein writing about Tamara Barney. Yeah. There's no there there. And Tamara did flirt with, did have a lesbian interlude in one of the boring seasons of Real Housewives.

Gertrude Stein was just like, I'm just going to have a lesbian relationship to get better ratings on my latest book. But I won't go to my lesbian lover's naturalization party, even if there's cake in the shape of a flag. Gertrude Stein was the first one to write Tender Buttons, but then she was also the first one to write the book. My sweater won't button up because the buttons are too tender. They won't stay in the hole. Actually, people don't know this, but the working title for Tender Buttons was actually, I'm the hottest housewife in Orange County. I'm the hot one. I'm so hot.

It's like there are rules with buttons, but I make my own button rules. You know, I heard that Gertrude Stein once threw red wine into Hemingway's face when Hemingway talked about her to the press. Girl, you see, it's still Bravo back then. No, I'm joking. That was a joke. Oh, I was like, I'm down. I could totally believe that happening. Didn't you ever see that movie about Dorothy Parker and the Vicious Circle?

I never saw that, actually. Girl, they just as bitchy back then. And they had more reason to be. I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, they were the original bloggers. They were the original podcasters. Yeah, they were. They just wrote down all their ramblings.

Yeah. They were much funnier. But seriously, though, Gertrude Stein did take out her breast implants and put them back in. Okay, Marquis de Sade. These buttons are too tender.

She tattooed Hemingway's name on her finger and then had it removed. Marquis de Sade. So he's famous for erotica. So would this be like Ramona getting down with Mario? Oh my god. Okay, there needs to be a beheading in this story because that's still the worst fucking thing i've ever seen on bravo that scene where ramona wanted to look sexy so she made mario sit there in a chair shirtless

while she like poked him and went isn't that sexy do you like it do you like it okay i poked him and went, isn't that sexy? Do you like it? Do you like it? Okay. I poked your boob, okay? Whoa, whoa, Mario. This is crazy. This reminds me of this one time when I was a little girl. I went to the forest and I saw two squirrels having sex. And I said, Dad, they're having sex. And he said, well, enjoy it while it lasts because

one of them's probably going to die because he probably has rabies. And I cried. And Geraldine Parsons-Smith was like, you know what? Get over it. It's sex like I have with your father. And I cried. And Geraldine Parsons-Smith was like, you know what? Get over it. It's sex, like I have with your father. And I said, but you're not my mother. And she said, oh, sorry. Cat's out of the bag.

And guess what? Cats have sex, too. Whoa. Crazy. And de classe. I'm sorry. It's de classe. Actually, now that I'm looking at the Markets Decide internet description, I was going to say wiki, but I'm not looking at wiki.

I'm not even classy enough to click on the thing. I'm just reading the headlines on Google. It says, Marquis de Sade, philosopher, author, criminal. So basically, Teresa Giudice. She philosophizes.

She writes books. Hey, Joe. Don't I give the best blowjobs? Don't I give them? Don't I give them? What about sex, Joe? Joe, I got a dildo in jail today, Joe. Joe?

Joe? Joe, you know you can fuck a girl with a toothbrush? I saw it happen this morning. Joe? Joe? You there? You high, Joe? You high?

Uh, yeah. Joe? And the last one is who would be Nietzsche? I think that's pretty obvious. To me, that would be Sheree because she's always asking questions. Like, how can you have a fashion show with no fashions? Or who could check me boo? What are you doing?

Nietzsche's famous, but you got electric? I don't got electric. You got electric? You got plumbing? I ain't got electric. You got electric? You got plumbing? I ain't got plumbing. Technically, I mean, Sharae was not the one who said, hey, you can't have a fashion show with no fashion.

That was a DeWaite, but I just always like to attribute it to Sharae. Just for those of you out there who are saying that, Sharae didn't say that. I know. You've just started a revolution like Gertrude Stein decided.

You know that Sharae has many existential questions all the time. Like, where's the exit? Where's my exit? You got the exit. Fix your teeth. Fix your face. Fix your face.

Well, if you people didn't know how ignorant my ass was, there you go. There's another 40 minutes of evidence. Yes, yes. Yay, Crap It's Mailbag. Crap It's Mailbag. Thank you to everyone who submitted, and thank you especially to our anonymous sponsor for the first

question. We really appreciated that. And now we can get into the good stuff. Actually, we can start, there's actually a little bit of gossip that we can talk about, some hilarious gossip, which is essentially that Ryan, Tamara's son Ryan and his fiancée, Sarah, their road to marital bliss has been pretty rocky slash downhill slash. Their road to that La Quinta business office rental or whatever that, what do you call those? Those conference room rentals. Yeah.

Has been slowed a bit by insta-fighting. Yeah. has been slowed a bit by insta fighting yeah so um angie our dear friend angie who's been on this show several times of the deep thoughts podcast um she sent us a link on sarcasm where basically um ryan and sarah are fighting on instagram which those are my favorite fights when it's not just enough to rant on social media but you have to also put up a photo too. Yeah, it's like a selfie and a fight. Like how could she fight with me? Look at my beard. So I guess what started off is that a photo went up.

There's a photo of Sarah hanging out with Gretchen Rossi and Lizzie or whatever. And so Ryan said, wow, guess sarah will get her 15 minutes one way or another shaking my head so first of all anytime any one of these these idiots talks about 15 minutes of fame and they're on a reality show you already lose all your logic points okay like you no that doesn't that doesn't work that way you're you don't get mad because someone else wants 15 minutes off of your 15 minutes okay okay? Especially because Ryan doesn't even technically have 15 minutes. He's not even on that show. He's like, he gets like 30 seconds.

Yeah, 30 seconds where we can check in on his receding hairline and see how his steroid body atrophy is going. And then, you know, move on. Orho wouldn't even hang out with your ass. That's how few minutes you've got okay he'd be like he's trying a little too hard and that was like warhol's favorite thing so um so then after so after he makes fun of sarah for that picture then he puts up another picture of a lion and a cross and of course and the and the text says the devil whispers you cannot withstand the storm the warrior replies i am the storm oh my god both of those were tamra talking to herself

in the kitchen getting ready for a spin class yeah and by the way i'm sure you know again i'm not christian but i feel like the the laws of christianity are not or the tenets of christianity are not to go into instagram and then throw a cross up there and then use that in a spat against your estranged fiancé. Well, who knows? Judas might have had some hate-stagrams. Yeah. So then... There goes Jesus again.

Walking on water, making multiple fish for people. Enjoy your 15 minutes, son of a god. Mm-hmm. And now, and so then he starts ranting about Sarah and saying, basically alluding to the fact that she cheated. And all their craziness. And calling her out like, oh, well, all of her three children have different dads. So, you know, I guess that's what she's doing out looking for another one or something. It's like, well, she's not taking away my daughter.

I'm going to see my daughter unlike the eight other dads. Oh, now you're going to slut shame? Girl, you found this woman on Instagram. Yeah. And she already had, had like three kids and a gun and you're not allowed to call someone a fame whore when you only got banged because she's a fame whore that's ridiculous we're calling her a fame whore and we're calling you a fame son i guess a fame the son of the a fame whore son a fame whore son what do you say who's the son of a pro whoever this mom is kind of a whore but the son of a I mean it's Tamara I mean you can't say

anything too nice about Tamara so anyway he's a fame whore he's only getting laid with that scraggly ass beard and that drug addiction because he's fucking got a famous mom so it's not even a fame whore it's like a fam i don't even know what i'm trying to say because he's not the famous one tamra is so i don't know it's like second rate fame whoring b level it's the black box fame whoring well what's funny about sarah i mean she is a fame whore let's not get anything wrong and and and what's what's funny about Sarah, I mean, she is a fame whore. Let's not get anything wrong. And, and, and what's, what's funny is that in her defense, she has a smart, I'm reading it right now.

She has a smart defense. She goes, first off, let me say family is everything. All caps, whether blood or not. I cherish all three of them. Yes.

The more families, the better. I always wanted a big family. And she says, I have been deep, getting deeply criticized for actions that, that accord last night and being accused of not being loyal well just because i was in the room with certain people

or in pictures with certain people does not make me a disloyal person i simply went to a friend's b-day party last night to celebrate her turning 40 and boy did i have fun she was my first friend in orange county when i moved here and i wasn't going to miss it. However, I am now being judged. Tamara is a very, very special person to me. Not only is she my mother-in-law, she is one of my best friends, and she has been the best grandma to all of my girls through the good and the bad. I value her. Ryan is the best dad I could have ever asked for my daughter, which I would never, ever come between.

They are my family. Regardless of the situation, they are who i am loyal to family first see she's smart she's like i'm just going to kiss ass until they welcome me back well she's gonna kiss ass for the court because of course that shit's gonna be brought up in court and he's gonna look like a crazy meth head yeah and then she's gonna look like a nice very stable woman who's hanging out with gretchen and lizzie i mean look yeah how can you get mad at someone for hanging out with gretchen and lizzie those are the two most non-eventful housewives of all time i know i mean literally know your wife's not out fucking a million people when she's saying that with those two yeah she's actually helping out your finances because she can write that shit off because that is charity what she is doing right there be happy gretchen is working

on her logo that she's gonna slap on some nail polish she gets from china and then lizzie's over there still trying to learn how to draw a bikini i mean what are you worried about yeah just calm the fuck down ryan just go go go enjoy the latest circular to come from auto zone and just enjoy yourself yeah calm down calm down calm down you're trashy enough all right tamra embarrasses herself enough on television without you helping okay yeah of course this is kind of tamra karma isn't it like having this kind of son who's like screw it i'm embarrassing everybody on Instagram. She's probably like, oh my God, I just found Jesus.

Could you please just give me a break? She's never, ever going to win. It's going to be such a good season next season. OC has been on fire two seasons in a row. It has been excellent. I am so excited for what's going to happen next season. When does it start? When does it start?

I think they're already shooting because all the news is starting to come out now. You know when they start? Oh, I thought you meant they're just all going to a gun range. Well, you never know. Maybe Heather's building a fucking gun range somewhere. I know. Let's party. Let's have a party to celebrate my possible gun range that we might invest in in five years.

Congratulations to me and Terry. We're doing a marble gun range. Sure, it might be loud and echoey in there, but it's marble. I want these gun racks to be $9 million. So let's move on to the show. Let's go on to the show. Beverly Hills. Real to the show Beverly Hills Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

you can drive Ronnie because you just did the recap by the way I plugged Ronnie's website that's not ever a time when you want me to drive when I've just written you know 7,000 words about it but yeah go read the recaps to Trash Talk TV I like to go deep psychologically with these bitches this show

this is one of the most mundane fucking shows on TV. Nothing ever happens and I'm still riveted every time I love it. I find a million things to talk about in it and nothing is happening. It's like Downton Abbey on Ambien It's like even slower than fucking

Downton Abbey. I mean come on Yeah really nothing is happening but I was really into last night's episode for some reason I was too I that's what I'm saying like I don't even understand how it works because usually you're like uh nothing's happening on these shows but then I don't know it works for me I love the nothing that is this show so we open with hold on I'm scrolling down I write too much um so we open back in the hamptons at kyle's dollar tree forever not 21 anymore store by alien 2 and uh this is not really

a pop-up shop it's like a full-on store so i don't know if this is like a month-long pop-up shop i'm not really sure what she's doing i'm used to like taco kiosks well that's the next stop i mean the next stop is going to be going to the danbury fair mall and setting up a little uh little kiosk in the middle next to the piercing hut kyle by i mean three yo um i'm scrolling through these i'm not ignoring what you're saying no it's okay um, so she's there. And, of course, Kyle is the queen of getting free shit. And Bethany is the queen of promo. So Bethany is partnering up to cater this beautiful event.

Cater slash also do a signing. Yes. It's all her skinny girl. It's like diet products. And then her book about being a wreck in relationships and who is this for who is who is shopping at these store who is shopping at this store it's sad sad people they need flowy flowy kind of mooomoo short short hybrid outfits and then diet products i know and then the city of like um of west hampton was still was trying to like they didn't they obviously don't like

this store they're like we're only allowed to have like five people in here otherwise the city's gonna get mad at us they're like please please let's just like try to make this store go away so on the way to this event eileen is in the limo with uh erica jane and uh lisa rena and she's still should i talk to lisa again about this thing because i just don't understand because like we talked about it but now i feel like i did something wrong which makes me feel weird because like why is she offended and too much already. Enough with this. And you did do something wrong. You went at Lisa. Yeah, she started it. Cardinal sin.

Yeah, Lisa started it. I get it. I'm not pretending she didn't. I think Lisa was being shitty when she did all that. But it wasn't that big of a deal. I don't think she was being shitty. I think she was just being tactless. She was being a little nosy.

But it was not the worst thing in the world. And, you know, Eileen handled it. Eileen said, like, you know, it made me uncomfortable. I think Lisa could have reacted to Eileen a little better. But she's British, you know. And she's just like, to her, she's like, this all just seems ridiculous, you know. But, you know, I think if... Darling, I'm sorry. I mean, that's all seems ridiculous, you know? Yeah. She said, darling, I'm sorry.

I mean, that's all you're going to get. Yeah. But Lisa, the reason I think Lisa was being shitty is because she opened this weird dinner by talking about divorce and cheating and how this divorce of their friends that they never mentioned who it is. But the divorce of their friends is so hard to sit through. So, Eileen. Then it turns immediately to eileen you've been divorced i can't believe it so i don't know i i feel like there was i feel like there was editing at play i think there was editing at play i don't think the the lunch

started that way or the dinner started that way i don't know if the transition was that as abrupt as it as it appeared but i also believe those women were drinking all day. So to me, it just seemed like a drunken conversation, you know? And I think that Lisa's language was just a little indelicate. So the affair, the affair, the infidelities, when you were being a slut, you know? I'd love to invite you over for game night, but now that we all know you're a cheater,

I think I'll have to save that for a game of Uno Telling. Ronnie, don't you dare give me fantasies of playing board games with Lisa Vanderpump, because that would be my dream. You know she'd be victimized. Do you have any sheep? Do you have any sheep, please? I'm sorry, Lisa, I can't give you any sheep. Oh, we're fine.

Oh, Ben got boardwalk. Well, I've done so much for Ben. After everything I've done for Ben and he won't give me his sheep, I mean, I've given him wood. I've given him brick. I've given him wheat. But a sheep? I can't get a sheep?

Go straight to jail, darling. How could he do this to me? He knows what Cedric put me through. Oh, Kyle, Kyle, could I offer you one of my sheep and instead have a stone? It's actually the smallest sheep in the country. It's just absolutely beautiful. Let me give it to you. He may be a little lame, but can I have that, please?

No? Lisa, I mean, it's hard. Everyone just keeps asking me about my stones, and, like, I don't want to talk about my stones. Like, why can't people not talk about my stones just because they didn't feel like they got the whole story on TMZ? I've got a restaurant in every single village in Catan, darling. Where's the wrought iron factory?

I need some lamps. Everyone knows that Pump is the hottest bar in North Catan. There are three roads leading into it. The village that owns all the sheep is where you take your wife. But the city that owns all the wheat and the wood is where you take your mistress. And the port where you can get a three for one, that's where you take your boyfriend. Okay, so the overall thing I want to point out for this episode, which is why I think I was so fascinated with the complete mundane nature of it, is that all these women are working at each other in the most

they think they're being very subtle i don't find it subtle at all what they're doing okay here you've got lisa rena who just told eileen last week you have to go talk to lisa it's important if you feel offended you need to have a sit down with lisa and eileen's like really that's your advice like now i have to go up Lisa. And Eileen's like, really? That's your advice? Like, now I have to go up against Lisa? And she's like, no, it'll be great. So, Rinna's like kind of goading her into this. Rinna knows that's not a good idea.

She knows Lisa Vanderpump well enough to know that nitpicking Lisa over some stupid shit, especially manners, is not really going to be the right way to go. But she pushes eileen into it so now they're in the limo and eileen's like oh no lisa kind of turned it around and now i feel like i owe her an apology and rena goes oh geez what's the big deal i don't even understand why this is a big deal lisa rena you kind of started this okay so that's the first that i noticed and there's a million and maybe none of these really even happened. It's quite possible that this is all in my head. But that's totally how I'm seeing this.

So she's worried. Rinna's like, LOL. And then Erica's like, who cares? I don't even care about this stuff. Sit on a dick. Seriously. They always cut to Erica with that one hairstyle where it's like, what's him and those dogs? Afghan hound.

Arzo. Well, at least it's not racist this time. I know. This time, you know, it's like a big, like her hair makes like big floppy dog ears, you know? She's just like, I don't care. I like when people talk about me. It's fine. She's total toddlers in tiara hair.

I don't care if people talk about me me because honestly i don't give a fuck yeah i don't give a fuck you can say i have springer spaniel hair i don't care i saw i like springer spaniels like you like hookers i love hookers they're awesome well i used to have a face like a hound but then i got a facelift and who gives a fuck i'd do it again hound that's like one of my favorite words to rhyme with. You can rhyme so many things. Pound. Sound. Fround. It's great. I love it. I don't care. I'm an African pound dog because I really like to pound. And I don't care

if you think I'm a slut. So Erica, everybody is totally in love with Erica because she supposedly got hoe pride, which I don't believe. I don't believe it. I'm just not falling for it i like erica i'm thinking she's funny i will never trust a bitch who's here to fight for brandy kim and yolanda i'm just not gonna do it there's no way on this earth i'm ever gonna trust in someone

this woman's gonna be a hellish bitch trust me oh yeah i mean i like erica too i think she's funny and she keeps it real i mean I really do like her a lot. But at this point, I'm having a hard time understanding why she's like a full-fledged castmate as opposed to just like a friend of. I don't think she keeps it real at all. Everyone says Erica keeps it real. No, no, no. When I say keep it real, I know what you're saying. But it's more like she makes like I miss misspoke it's more like she just makes these sort of like funny little jokes and yeah i'm liking that too i'm actually liking her it's

just i'm prepared to hate her because i just she hasn't unleashed the beast yet she's still guarded yeah she's waiting and she's been ready to unleash it but then she doesn't really have the verbal skills to do it properly like her lame slams to bethany like she just can't do it yeah yeah i i have hope i'm if you go back all the way to season two of real housewives of beverly hills of i'm real housewives of new york city kelly ben simone for the first half of the season she was like a nothing she's just a pretty face she'll be like hi hi and she was like they would be like oh kelly she's so beautiful she's so nice midway through the season she gets into a fight with bethany and then from that point on i was like oh kelly ben simone oh now i see what your cast member okay yeah that's i'm hoping what's

what that's what happens with erica i have faith i mean yolanda can't possibly be on the show next year i just don't see that happening and brandy's obviously not going to be on the show anymore. Kim, maybe a few episodes here and there. So that's going to leave Erica. And I guess she's like the figurehead for all of those bitches. But I'm not really sure, but I'm not trusting it yet. Still, that said, loving her so far and laughing my ass off every time. Like this scene where she goes into the store and bethany's like hey look look you know look we gotta talk because costas i was mean how often has bethany not apologized like that

that's always what she says she's like we gotta talk because so-and-so said i was mean to you so and then that's like no sorry yeah so i mean like you know i mean you know i wasn't mean right no no you're uh you're fine you're fine yeah that's my thought no i'm sorry, like, you know, I mean, you know, I wasn't mean, right? Nah, nah, you're a fine, you're a fine. Yeah, that's my thought. No, I'm sorry. Oh, you know. I don't know.

Like, you know, the mall's up. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, is that an apology? I'm not saying you shouldn't be a whore. I'm just saying if you're going to be a whore, you need to market it better, you know? Like, if you're going to pick up dollar bills off the floor with you, hoo-ha, people need to know that you're doing that. They can't think like, oh, that's a housewife trying to pick up dollar bill it doesn't make sense you know what i'm saying like she starts going right back into the thing but she stopped herself you see you see bethany using restraint but she can't just ever

keep her mouth shut so erica's like i'm a big girl i don't care look i can take care of myself so say whatever you want i'm a big girl. Are there hot pants here? Like, just throw a dildo on me. I don't care. Like, whatever. I sort of think it's cool when people make fun of me. Like, I don't mind. It's fun.

Stop following me. Serious. It's on my resume. Like, my son's a police officer, so. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for Black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own,

she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world

of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. I put myself through two years of college by getting Dumb Thoughts, so go ahead. Try it. Give me your best shot. And I love the way that Bethany sort of awkwardly segues out of the conversation.

She's like, yeah, so, you know, so we're good. So, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, look, she can't stop. But she can't stop herself from saying something. So she's like, this thing you're doing, this whole thing. Is that for real? Is that a hobby?

Like, what is it? Is it for real? Is it a hobby? It's like, it's for real doing, this whole thing, is that for real? Or is that a hobby? Like, what is it? Is it for real or is it a hobby? She's like, it's for real. She's like, okay then. Good for you. I think you should do it then. I think you should. And she's like, uh, thanks.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. I said she should. And then she's looking at clothes awkwardly like, that was a sorry, right? No, not really. But it's still fun. Well, the best part is that when she's like, yeah, no, it's for real. Ben's like, okay.

Okay. Okay. In that way, that's like, okay, no, it's for real. Ben's like, okay, okay, okay. In that way, that's like, okay, I have many more things to say about this, but I'm just going to stop and look at this display as if I care about it. And Erica's like, eh, who wears this shit? She's just looking around the store like, are you kidding me? Erica's never worn anything that loose in her life. So this is where the episode starts getting hilarious and ridiculous both kyle and lisa rena on opposite sides of the store start whipping out their twitch start whipping out their kim richards victimhood stories kyle is talking with her aunt who's brought a picture of Large Marge Sr.

And by the way, side note, the aunt to me looks oddly enough, like, I was surprised that it was her aunt. It looks sort of almost like her contemporary. Right? Like, not saying, not that, I mean, she looked older than Kyle, but she didn't look like she was aunt level, or like,

the way they talk about their mom, you know, I expect the aunt would be, like, in her or 80s or something right temporary i like that that's what a housewife would look like if they didn't have access to so many plastic surgeons that you know people who you know what i'm saying she didn't look like she was someone who was of another generation of like this mythical generation of this of this mother this matriarch you know but i don't know. It's just my own little observation. She wore ant clothes and ant hair

and reading glasses and stuff. So I guess that was her. I also liked her misguided notion that she could fix anything in this family. But go on. Yeah, it's never been fixed. By the way, I want to clarify. Large Marge is Kathy Hilton, right?

Because sometimes you say Large Marge and I don't know who you're talking about. Oh, Large Marge Senior is the matriarch, the mom that's dead. Okay. Sometimes I don't know the slang from the talk show. Oh, sorry. Oh, but I talk on this show. I know, but every time you say Large Marge, I'm always – Large Marge is Kathy Hilton.

Okay. So every time you say Large Marge, I'm always going to be like, oh, who's Large Marge again? But I don't want to interrupt. Oh, Large Marge is Kathy Hilton. Okay, so every time you say Large Marge, I'm always going to be like, oh, who's Large Marge again? But I don't want to interrupt. Oh, Large Marge is Kathy Hilton. I call her that because she's in charge. Large Marge is in charge. Does she drive a truck? Yeah, she's terrifying.

Everybody's terrified of her. But at the end, she's not really that scary. We haven't gotten to the end yet, but in my mind, she's Large Marge. So I think of Large Marge march senior as the you know the dead mom yeah okay so anyway they're talking about her kyle cries when and then of course we start talking about kim richards oh that's so funny to me kyle cries when i don't feel for you so kyle's crying and large uh we're talking about twitch again okay that's all kyle can do every single scene is either how much money kyle has or something kim did it's never well the aunt

asked her about kim right the aunt asked her yes but she knows her aunt's coming to filming and of course we're gonna talk about it it's the thing with kyle she keeps saying i'm so sick of everybody wanting to talk about this all the time. It's not fair to me. Yeah, I don't like when she does that. I don't like when she does that. And I don't like then that because then she voluntarily talks about it with like, well, this, you know, like we go back. Like it's more than just like a random person asking me about it. I'm like, yes, I get that.

But if you really didn't want to talk about it, you wouldn't have come on the show in the first place. But if you really didn't want to talk about it, you wouldn't have come on the show in the first place. And you can't make yourself a victim about it and use it for your little victim fake crying scenes and then not want to talk about it. You brought it up. You introduced this into evidence. You literally dragged Twitch into evidence in the first place. And now you're stuck with her until the rest of this trial. That's right. She is the strange keychain you found on the floor eight days after the search began.

She is the keychain that magically fell out of a dirty bookcase that somebody supposedly shook too hard. Get out of here. So she's using Twitch for her scene over there. Then Lisa Rinna is on the other side. This was amazing. She's talking to Bethany. Amazing because it's so ridiculous. But she's talking to bethany amazing because it's so ridiculous but she's talking to bethany and eileen and she's going you know guys i mean this whole thing with kim richards i mean i can't help but feel guilt and bethany's just looking at her with her eye

her eyes are rolling back in her head and she's trying so hard to not tell somebody well she's also doesn't understand what she's like what what's guilt like what is that what is that is that like is that like hanukkah money? Is that what we're talking about? Hanukkah guilt? Like, I don't understand. What's guilt? I don't know what that feeling is. Did you put somebody outside of a box? Just tell me now, because I'm not listening to this again. But she's like, yes, I feel so much

guilt because I'm the one who called her out. And this is all my fault. Like, you know, she went off the'm the one who called her out and this is all my fault like you know she went off the deep end after i called her out true but kyle was the first one to call her out then brandy called her out then kim was snorting meth off the bathroom floor in hawaii or looking for her but but lisa rena was the one who like when the new lie came up that Kim was sober again, Lisa Rinna was the one who was like, no, she's not. Bitch isn't sober. And she, like, kept the pressure on for an entire, like, half a season and then into a reunion.

And, I mean, I think it is safe to say that there's a correlation between Lisa publicly outing her, aggressively outing her, and then Kim just swirling out of control. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I actually think it's a good thing. Kim needed to be outed. I kind of felt like Lisa was sort of actually looking for like a pat on the back to be like, yeah, but what you did was good. What you did was good. Like, like Lisa was like, her lips were trembling a little bit.

She was trying to like make it seem like she was somehow sad about it or whatever. I'm like, no, I'm like, Lisa, Lisa, her lips were trembling a little bit. She was trying to, like, make it seem like she was somehow sad about it or whatever. I'm like, no. I'm like, Lisa, Lisa Renna, I love you. You're one of my favorite housewives of all time. But, like, you know you just wanted to laugh. Let's be honest. I think she's, well, first off. Like, triumphantly, like, aha, I was right.

She wants to gloat. I mean, let her, I feel like she hasn't been able to gloat. That's what sucks. Here she is. She's like, I feel like you're this. I feel like she hasn't been able to gloat. That's what sucks. Here she is. She's like, I feel like you're this. I feel like you're an addict. It's not that she wants to laugh at Kim Richards, but she wants... I feel like this poor

woman, she took a stand, and Kim Richards came at her so hard, and they got into a fight, and Lisa Rinna put her public reputation out there. She risked it to a low degree, and in the end she was 100 right and she hasn't been able to have a moment be like told you so haha you know but

it's not like she was veronica mars over there i mean kim richard showed up fall down wasted it apart she's like hey hey don't you fucking tell me you You don't know what I go through. How do you sleep at night, Lisa Rinna? Which is like, what is Kyle with her? How do you sleep at night? Where is she getting that? But Tim Richards is like, You don't know what I go through, Lisa Rinna, right? Fuck you.

Lisa Rinna's like, okay, you're drunk. How dare you? Money is cancer, right? I don't know if you know who St. Jude is, but I'll tell you, that bitch only gives money to children. I gotta take care of money. I just think that Lisa Rinna is in a tough place because she was the one who really championed Kim Richards' drinking issues coming out in public. And she got some flack from it from from people on the internet but and also from kim richards herself and other cast members

and she was right and she was she put herself out for it and and she doesn't get to gloat like you know she doesn't get to have her hashtag justice moment she has to pretend like she's you know like really sad about the situation i mean because everyone recognizes it's a sad situation everyone does but she doesn't get to be like you need no one's given me my due yet you guys realize i did that right anybody anybody it's like not it's like because it's not nice to say that to be like so we can all agree that i called that right it's like but you know she wants it so badly she wants you can. I would want it. I would want it. I love that that's how you're looking at it. I look at it that she's reading Twitter and she's like, oh my God, people hated me for that. So now I have to go in this season and smooth it over and be like, oh, I just care.

And then it seems like everything she does is so calculated based on Twitter. But listen, opinions change every five minutes. And this show is shot way too far in advance for you to be trying to keep up with opinions on Twitter. Like, shit that happened. I mean, Lisa Vanderpump is a queen last year. And this year, people are like, fuck her. There's no winning. There is no winning on this show.

Well, I think you're right, too. Either way, you know. I think you're right, for sure, that she wants to smooth over things. I think it's sort of like two sides of the same coin. She wants to smooth over things, and it's annoying because she can't, she has to devote her time smoothing over things and acting, you know, concerned,

which I believe she is concerned on a certain level. But you know she wants, she practically said it. She's like, oh, the things I have to say about Kim Richards, Kyle would never speak to me again. Kyle would be so mad at me if I talked bad about Kim. I mean, Kim is shoplifting all over town.

It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. She's an addict. Kyle doesn't watch the show every night before she goes to bed over and over again. Kyle is like that woman who has seen every episode of Frasier at 11.30 p.m. 50 times. But it's this show, you know? Kyle's still trying to understand.

Maury screams. Norm! Kyle's still trying to understand why they can't get the parrot off of Niles' head. Why are there so many doors in that ski cabin? Why are there so many doors in that ski cabin? Kyle's like, we're redoing this and I'm playing Damaris. That's who networks are. What's the one?

What was Miles's wife name? Marist. Marist. Marist. Marist is the college. Marist, I think, is her name. What else? Harris, I think is her name. Whatevs.

So my main issue with Renna at this point is, and really all of them, is no one has a fucking life on this show. Renna has nothing to shoot. Harry Hamlin's like, I'm not going to be on that shit. I was on Mad Men, bitch. You better figure something else out. So she's like, I'm going to shoot with my children, who are like, we hate you. Please stop making us go to strip malls to get our nails done with you, mother. Stop sending us to Canada. Yeah.

If you make us try on one more fucking bathing suit, you're dead, mother. Either have us work at a deli or talk to us, like send us to the mall. But don't make us do both forms of torture. You can't have it both ways mother mother she has no life to discuss and every storyline she's had is about somebody else's life and it's really starting to get on my god i don't mind that i don't mind if she is because because i i i don't mind it i don't mind that i feel like lisa renna is a low-level agitator um and until she really finds something good and then she springs back.

But I don't mind. Like, last season, one of the complaints last season was, Lisa Rinna doesn't have her own storyline, so she has to latch on to someone else's and make a big deal of that. I'm like, well, that's the way storylines work. You have multiple characters involved.

Yeah, well, if you have an actual issue with somebody, yeah, then that's your character. She did have an issue. She rode in, like, a 45-minute car alone with Kim Richards. Anyone would be traumatized by that experience. That would be a legitimate personal issue. Okay, I'll give you that.

But to me, it just looks like she's latching onto every single storyline that's not about her. To, I guess, deflect from the fact that she has no life of her own. To be fair, there are no storylines happening right now. This is like the way the universe was created. It was a bunch of entities swirling around in a vacuum, and they're just trying to find something. And hopefully, jumping ahead a little bit, but now this new woman who's coming on, Catherine,

she's coming on with a strange O.J. Simpson tie-in storyline, which I am very excited about. So hopefully that will provide... Is that miniseries on NBC? Because NBC owns Bravo, and it's weird that there's all this O.J. shit now. And then Faye's dragged out of the closet. Oh, my God.

No, I think it's great. I love this. It's like Insidious Part 5. I have a lot of thoughts about this. It's like a scary little doll in a case. So here, I'm just going to jump ahead a little bit, not storytelling-wise. Yeah, we can't because we're going to be here for 10 hours. I mean, we're only in minute three of the show.

We really are. No, I was just going to say a general macro note about this whole how it's segwaying into this OJ controversy. Should I just save it until that part of the show or no? No, go for it. No, I was just going to say I actually actually what i've been fascinated by this show and i've mentioned it before on the podcast is how it's it's the real houses of beverly hills is kind of like a big spotlight for this certain group of people out here in los angeles people wealthy people who live in beverly hills who came up all kind of interconnected,

often because many of them were child actors, or showbiz families. You see how everyone is connected. You see Eileen is married to Vinny, and Vinny was a child actor with Kim and Kyle, and then there's this connection to that person, and then it's like, everyone is, you know, you have Yolanda and David, and then they're all, everyone is linked you know, you have Yolanda and David and then they're all everyone is linked to Mohammed or the Kardashians in this strange way. And they all have this strange. It's like this. It's like this marine layer of C-list celebrities and their families. Right.

That sort of coat Beverly Hills. And the O.J. Simpson trial was something we didn't realize at the time, because we're all outsiders before reality TV, but we actually see how the OJ Simpson trial really kind of rocked this group, because this was like a big scandal for that group. This fully impacted this whole group, as we see later in this episode. And it's this crazy, sensationalized courtroom case that was so over the top and so bizarre. It's almost so fitting that all these people were part of it. And think about what a strange group this is that Faye Resnick, when she got married,

and I mentioned this on a previous episode, but when she got married that Kris Jenner, I think she either officiated or walked her down the aisle. or walked her down the aisle. And Chris Jenner's husband was the man defending the guy who allegedly murdered Faye Resnick's best friend. And here they're in a wedding together. It's such a weird world. And the fact that this murder scandal case is in the middle of it, it just utterly fascinates me.

It really is. It's like a project that's over now so they can all be friends. They're like, well, we're done shooting that whole OJ thing. So let's just move on. And, you know, lunch is still lunch. So let's have it. Yeah, exactly. You know, from the Hiltons, all these socialites that we read about and all these everything

that we read about in the tabloids these days, it all stems from this group of child actors and wannabe stars. Yeah. And they're also all on this show, almost every single one of them is an ex-actor or someone who wanted to be an actor but married a rich dude instead. And so they all have that fame-whoriness in them, but now they have money,

and so they try and pretend like they're all these classy bitches, and they're not. They're tacky hoes. I mean, Thea Resnick walking around acting like this, all you need to do is read the sample section of her book to know what a hoe that is. Yeah.

I mean, because if you think about it, if Los Angeles, if the first royalty of Los Angeles were the stars of, you know, like the Barrymores, et cetera, like the people who came up in the 30s and 40s were huge Hollywood stars. And they were like in a city that's dominated by people like that, movie stars, okay?

And then you have in the 70s and in the 80s, you have these kids who want to be actors because they're going to be put on the path towards that same stardom. And they don't reach it. I mean, if you look at these failed sitcom stars, not failed, but they're just like low-level stars and soap stars, whatever. It is on the scale of like A, B, C, D, E list. These were like the reality stars before reality stars, you know. So they are they have ascended the social ranks and now they are wealthy. They're like, I don't know. It's hard to describe. I'm getting all academic on everyone.

But I just think it's so fascinating. Well, I'm with you. And this OJ thing, I think my of course, the nasty part of me like, this is the grossest thing I've ever seen. Like bringing back all this OJ bullshit for these fame whores who were, it makes me sick. But then at the same time, I'm like, oh my God, this is amazing. We're going to get to watch OJ fight. And this shit is good. I mean, they really got someone to go against Faye. They brought Faye just, they brought her back just to fight

this girl. I'm so excited. And they're both, you know, this girl's an ex-model and gorgeous, by the way. Gorgeous. Ex-model and Faye's an ex-wannabe model who kind of didn't really ever make it. Oh, I mean, her vagina did after her friend died. But still.

Co-wrote a book about her best friend getting beheaded by her husband and then kyle being such a fame whore on top of it who wasn't even a part of it but kyle's like well you know um faye wrote a book about nicole having an affair with marcus allen and marcus and that's why oj killed uh that's why oj killed nicole like kyle oh my god kyle trying to like spin it making it sound like phase at the center of all this no bitch that happened after that book was written the day like literally the day after nicole was beheaded it's just so gross and it's showing everybody's grossest side and one of my favorite things about it is that Kyle is already pure, full on disgusting.

Like, I don't care how well she's done this season. But for her to already be going anti somebody in Faye's favor over OJ and then being proud that she's friends with the girl who talked about the affair that got Nicole killed. It's all so fucking disgusting to me. And I love it it i'm filled with rage again and this show i've not been filled with rage yet this season and it's been you know that's sad i love to feel angry and this i was so mad at the end i was like oh it feels delicious kyle's a cut i'm like screaming it out as loud as I could in my neighborhood, it just feels so good welcome back, cut fitness Kyle welcome back

so anyway, speaking of welcome back, we should probably continue moving through with our show here so the women are at Kyle by Eileen 2 okay, so then they go to dinner, they basically both use Twitch for storylines, then they go to dinner and Lisa Vanderpump

is, you know god bless her so smart one of the funniest my favorite she's my queen look i'm saying that right now everybody knows it i'll admit when she's wrong and i think she already has been wrong like five times this year and she's wrong in this situation in my mind but she's dumb like she acts like she's so smart l Lisa is tricked every single time. She was tricked by Cedric. She was tricked by Brandy. She was tricked by Kyle.

She's been tricked by, well, she has never been tricked by Ken. But you get it, you know. Kristen, Lala, Stassi. She's a sucker. All her employees. She's a total sucker. She acts like she's so smart, but she's really not. Like, emotionally, she wants to trust everybody, and she can't.

Why in the hell are you going to start the dinner off in this fluorescently lit, terrible rental house of Kyle's? Even Kyle's rental houses are awful, okay? And badly lit. So they're sitting in fluorescent lighting. And then Lisa's first question is, so are we all right then, Arlene? Oh, no. I was like groan, audible groan from the carom home. I was like, no, why are you doing that?

Look, anybody on this show knows that these bitches never drop anything. I think we'll be talking about this for five years. Oh, yeah. Of course, that leads Arlene to say, well, actually, are you okay okay and tries to turn it around like lisa would but she's an amateur so it's just like obvious and doesn't work well she's it's it's funny she's like when when she when eileen starts to express herself again lisa gets that pure evil look that i love where her chin sort of lowers and her eyes squint and she responds in monotone i don't even remember eileen's question it was something like well you know you know you know i i i spoke and i know that

you know it may have seemed a little strange to you and lisa's like yes i'm like oh it's cold it's freezing just those one words that lisa lets out I took that whole Lisa's entire reaction. She was doing her best, in my mind, to just give her what she needed. Yeah. You know, all Eileen wants is for Lisa to be understanding and sensitive. So Lisa did this thing where she like crinkles her eyes and she starts talking in lower, lower tones to sound like she cares and adeline's like i just wanted to express my feelings to you because when i'm talking about that and then are you cheating and this and that and like you kept saying it and you kept bringing it up

and lisa's going lisa goes i know i know you know like she's comforting her But they're just waiting for her To start crying and saying Darling I didn't mean to hurt you You're such a place in my heart I would never do this to you Lisa is not going to do that This is not in her personality And she's already said sorry

I think by my count four times by now Like literally said the word sorry Well the conditional sorry is, I'm sorry if I asked too many questions. But that's what she's being charged with. So, like, what are you going to apologize for? I mean, I get what you're saying. It was like, if, it's not,

I'm sorry that I asked too many questions. It's, I'm sorry if I asked. You know, it's the sort of thing that, you know. I'm sorry that you don't want to talk about stealing someone else's husband while you were on a soap opera. I'm sorry you can't remember whether or not you actually had sex with him while he was married. I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry that you have a questionable moral compass.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I don't write the rules and I can't make it okay to just take anyone's husband you want, darling. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't write the rules and I can't make it okay to just take anyone's husband you want, darling. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She was being shady to me at that dinner. So anyway, she's kind of refusing to apologize. But in her mind, she already has and this should be over. And Eileen is such a little thing.

And Eileen is just wanting something from Lisa that she's not getting. So she just keeps going and going. And Lisa's trying to look sincere and pat her on the head and be like, yes, darling, I understand. But then it gets even crazier because, well, that whole dinner was great. It was like mundanely crazy. So many things happened. It was. It was.

So I'm looking through here. Eileen tries again uh ken pipes up because eileen won't shut up at this point she's like i just wanted to explain and have a conversation because i don't want to gossip so by the way would not like would not let jiggy sit on a seat that had no cushion i want to point that out by the way like i'm gonna be wearing this dog on my head when it passes i don't want it sitting on the floor do you understand um so eileen says i just want to start a conversation and king goes then do it have a conversation then already i mean we're at dinner you know here you are having a conversation she goes that's right i am having a conversation with your wife I was like okay

he's just like yeah but I'm gonna hear it anyway later so just tell everyone yes I like that Ken explained it though why he's always standing up for Lisa his explanation is I have to listen to this shit all night lady okay we go home and I'm stuck

with this so finish it now um which made me really love him because before i was like he should not be getting in a bitch's business you know i got all nini before but now that i see that he just doesn't want to hear it all night i'm like oh i'm with him i like that it's a proactive husband yeah so they keep going and lisa makes another phope when she says, Now I can't do anything right, can I? Like, God damn it. You've been trying to be a nice little lady this whole night,

and now you just made yourself a victim. This is not going to fly. She does like pulling that line quite a bit. Yes. It's either I've done so much for you, or I can't do anything right now, can I? You can't, Lisa, at least when it comes to issuing an apology but Lisa the reason I'll always Lisa love her is because she says things

like this she gets this really worried look on her face and she says but darling when I talked about you and Vince I thought that you had a positive relationship when I talked about you and Vince I thought that you had a positive relationship it's so so good

it's like oh you didn't want to talk about this because it's so negative why did your marriage suck I thought it was going to be a happy point you know the happiness one feels when you break up a marriage oh I mean I assume that you feel happy when you break up people's oh i mean i assume that that's you feel

happy when you break up people's marriages i don't because it's a terrible thing to do i thought the whole point of breaking up a marriage is that this was romantic and wonderful so if you're saying it's awful you know i'm sorry i brought it up then darling and aileen does not know how to deal with her yet so she starts tripping over her words and she's like it is like it is a positive relationship oh then what's the problem you know so good so then it moves on to kyle kyle comes in every well first ken eating his corn never forget hashtag never forget and eating that corn so then it turns to kyle you know bringing up twitch again in some way so they start talking about twitch and then

lisa rena starts bringing up how this is all her fault because if she hadn't brought up the stuff with twitch then twitch wouldn't have been drunk and then kyle wouldn't be upset now kyle's upset which makes lisa rena upset and now they're all gonna be drug addicts and who's gonna be there to call them out yeah and who's what's gonna keep you up late at night and then then this like goes into this whole like uh like table talk of like what keeps you up at night what keeps you up night and so they're like lisa what keeps you up tonight she's like well honestly nothing really i mean now that hanky's fixed i don't know i don't think about what's the next match i'm gonna be i don't know i'm fine and they're like no no you're, you're guarded. Like, tell us what really, really bothers you.

She's like, nothing. I'm like really rich. You've heard about Ambien, haven't you, darlings? Like, if you're staying up at night, it's your own goddamn problem. Find a good doctor. Jesus. Yeah. And but like, no, but Lisa.

She's like, I guess what I think about what keeps me up late at night is whether rosio is going to be making a good breakfast in the morning or just an adequate one lisa i don't know i kyle i'm really liking how kyle's dealing with lisa this season um yes i do think that she's still trying to wind up people to play against lisa because you know she doesn't have the verbal skills to go against her but i also like that kyle is being more honest and just saying whatever it is even if lisa will get mad now because she used to just do it behind her back and now she's like lisa you're the only one who doesn't share anything everyone else shares stuff about their life really kyle name something besides kim because everything else has been you lied about you won't talk about your

husband possibly having an affair which was the thing brandy was trying to throw in your face you won't talk about anything real all you'll talk about is kim's issues or how much money you have lisa renna doesn't talk about anything real eileen i mean I mean, I guess kind of does. It's boring, but she does. But Lisa's shown emotion and talked about stuff. She just happens to be rich and fine right now. Like, what do you want her to talk about? Yeah, she's, like, at a pretty good place. She's got nothing to, you know.

I'm sure if you, like, think about it hard, there's something that could bring you anxiety. And Lisa, if she'd been like a little smarter she just would have thrown something at them like you know i worry about my children if they're doing all right you know like she could have said that but the truth is she's you know she's she made made it through the dark times and for right now everything's good so and when she has a problem on this show we see it she still will start crying about brandy if you let her and she still brings up brandy all the goddamn time like that is what kept her up at night yeah a little cricket in the kitchen she could never find until one day

she figured out where it was and she went in there with some braid and she fucking suffocated that now it's gone that's why she's not up at night she takes care of her shit yeah. Yeah. Just wait until Pandy goes on to Ancestry.com like her brother. That's when Lisa will be up late at night. Oh, no. Does Pandy know about something? Well, at least now we can explain the excessive hunger, darling. I'm so glad to have someone else to feel guilty for this because I've never understood it, darling. Darling, what keeps me up late at night

is wondering whether or not the divine addiction is going to break through to the masses. Oh, I do hope so for Pandy. What keeps me up at night is when Ken farts so long that it completely fogs up the windows. All right, that's what keeps me up at night. When you wake up thinking you're choking to death because your husband ate corn at dinner.

Damn it, Ken, are you eating corn again? Oh, these men. men i'm gonna have to take them to the vet that hanky went to so anyway so so then in the midst of this like soul searching where everyone is accusing lisa of being like emotionally frigid um eileen announces that she wants to continue with the discussion that started in amsterdam when yolanda said i want everyone to go around the table and sell your deepest talk of secrets oh my god first off this explains why eileen needs to keep talking about this dinner conversation everybody keeps derailing her and she never gets to the end of a sentence and that's kind of been the problem with her on this entire show at least with her run she never can get a storyline because everyone else is so much stronger and needier with their time you know they'd like jump right out in front

of the camera and she doesn't and so i thought what is this leading to that she keeps trying to talk about lisa over and over and over and she can never finish it and it turns out here we go here it was out of nowhere with the worst timing ever yeah she basically was like well i've tried to initiate i've tried to get you guys to ask me about this about 10 different episodes but um since you guys are all so self-interested i'll just have to bring it up myself so i was abused and i was like oh past the con yeah everyone's like oh and then you know that's fucking terrible what an awkward time to bring it up and what an awkward way because she's like remember we were in amsterdam and yolanda said what's your secret and then everybody got to go

but then the shit hit the fan and then i never got to speak i'm like no and i probably wrote 20 pages about that yeah no i don't remember that, no. And I probably wrote 20 pages about that. No, I don't remember that you didn't get your turn. Who's thinking about that? Also, Yolanda only asked that question so that Kim could attack Lisa with the husband having an affair thing. Like, that was such a setup by Yolanda.

Anyway, no one cares about your secrets, Eileen. So she blurted out her secret. She's like, I've been in an abusive relationship. Oh, no, she said, I've been in abusive relationships. Oh, no. She said, I've been in abusive relationships before. And people who know me, they would never believe that I would be the kind of person. And she starts crying. And it becomes, to me, so weird.

Well, I mean, I didn't think it was weird. I just thought the timing of it was weird. It just seemed like a strange interjection. It was obvious that she's been waiting to have a moment where she can say this, and she just has not had a chance. So she's like, well, we're sort of talking about deep things, so here we go. So I believe her emotions were real when she started talking about it, and everyone's hugging her.

No, I'm sure her emotions are real. Oh, my God, that's a traumatic fucking thing to live through. My God. So then Lisa, her reaction, though, is like, so I can't ask her about how she met her husband, and yet here she is talking about how she was beaten up. I don't understand. And I was kind of like, I mean, I was sort of agreed with her,

and I sort of didn't agree with her, because she's right. Like, you know, on the one hand one hand like it does seem strange to just like they bulge out of nowhere this deep dark awful thing that's happened to you and the story of triumph whatever and yet you suddenly are so closed off talking about your relationship so i do understand lisa's confusion but the other hand it's different it's a different context one is is eileen opening up and sharing something on her own terms. And the other is Lisa at a party where they've all been drinking, just pestering her and just keep on using the word affair, affair, affair, affair. I agree.

It's totally not the same thing. Pestering the woman about her affair at dinner. And what Lisa said was actually way more awful, I think, because she said something along the lines of... If we were at that dinner and I had been saying, what about the husband who beat the crap out of you? Then I could understand if she was upset. But when I'm asking about a love affair with her husband, I just don't understand. So she wasn't really knocking her for bringing up the affair she was saying like if i was giving her shit about something real but instead it was

and the reason i think it's more awful what she said i don't think was awful i think you're right it was true but uh it's awful that someone just said that they've been abused and that you're still worried about some petty fucking fight. Yeah. And that's what's always bugged me with her. It's like it's a major thing that's happening right now. It's not a petty fight at a rest, you know, at your stupid party. True, true. But it's not like Lisa said this right there at that table, you know.

Oh, no. She looked at ken and smiled like are these people fucking looney tunes like she gave him that look like can you believe these fucking people which although to be fair i probably would have done the same thing like what the hell where did this come from you know but like i think when we were at that dinner together we would have been kicking each other under the table yeah but like i think that when lisa makes the comment in her interview of course this is afterwards of course you're going to think about it like you know it's sort of annoying that she

got mad at me for saying these things or and the truth is like like if i had asked her about that you know like i would have understood i still think that lisa is is using uh oversimplified logic but i also do kind i kind of understand where she's coming from but she probably should just keep her mouth shut and move forward. Because making your bitchy comments are really funny, and it's why you're famous, but not when shit like this is going down. It's not cool. And I know she didn't say it right there, but when they're saying, but remember that dinner when Eileen had a breakdown? And then she knows that's going to be cut into this.

She knows what she's doing at this point. This is going to be dog-eared for the reunion. Oh, totally. Oh, she's made a few C-wordy comments that are going to be just thrown right back in her face. Some of them, she's funny. When she doesn't take things personally and she's just making flip remarks, I love that.

But when she's taking little things too personally and then acting like a victim over it that's when i'm like oh shut up and i already see it coming when uh kyle was chasing her around with a lobster lisa says i don't know who has bigger claws eileen or the lobster i didn't come for you bitch like she's just asking for a monologue about being abused like give her that you know give her her segue and stop arguing about everything. I know. So, moving on.

You know, at the end of the day, let's make a cheers to Kim being... That was another one of my favorite parts where they're like... Kyle goes, I'm putting Kim's problems in a balloon and I'm setting it free. Cheers! And they all drink alcohol. Yeah, that's what I was laughing at too. I love that they were making a toast with booze to Kim's recovery.

And could you just imagine Kim in that fucking hot air balloon? Heck yeah! Bring me down now! I'm done! Poor Kim. She probably gets into a weather balloon and gets taken out to space.

Totally. She's like, ah, this place sucks. How come the roads are all yellow? It feels like one big dope cross. So, moving forward. Moving on. Moving on. I think all we've missed here is Faye, which we already kind of talked about. Yeah, because now basically, well, yeah, if I remember correctly basically there was just sort of a bunch of filler scenes next it was like Erica goes to pick up Yolanda on an airplane

you know and Yolanda is like Yolanda has a fever it's like ahhh big storyline oh yes Yolanda Erica goes okay don't you think it's amazing Vanderpump went to Ohio in a private plane to pick up a lame horse that ended up having mysterious diseases that no one could explain and left it there.

David went to Ohio with an old retiring horse that has mysterious diseases that no one can explain, and he left her there. Erica is the only one to come back in a private plane and pick up the mysterious diseased little weakling and bring it back you know that says something i'm not sure what it is but i love ohio all the private planes and all the idiots left behind there you know erica you broke the pattern darling yeah well it's just um you know it's just a testament to the power of adoption you know so you know when you all those all those people who volunteer at animal shelters across the country, don't worry. Someone will come through and get your little cat. Erica, in this scene, is where I was like, how do I like this woman?

I must hate her. There's something in me. I cannot wait for the hatred to come for her. She's sitting on her private plane, and she's eating one bite of a chocolate bar so that we'll all see it. And then she tells us how difficult it is. Owning all these things is difficult. There's a lot of upkeep.

There's a lot of upkeep. It's not just owning a plane. By the way, she keeps on saying this. She's like, you know, it's like owning a plane. It's like, it's a lot of upkeep. There's like a lot of work that goes into it. I'm like, yeah, but we're not seeing you do any of it. You're just sitting there.

Just ordering some girl around. Just ordering her around to make it seem like funny for the cameras. I want to hate her so badly. So far, I don't. Can't wait to see her. I'm down with Erica still. She picks up Yolanda, who guess what Yolanda's wearing? White jeans.

For fucking A's sake, I cannot wait till Matt Whitfield is on here to lose his fucking shit about Yolanda's white jeans, because that needs to stop. So she comes on with her white jeans, and she's like, oh, look at my pictures from my trip. Here's me when I had one boob. Here's me with no boobs. Here's the inside of my boobs. By the way, the worst photo display of all time. Like, here's

an implant that's out of my chest now. Oh, here's some blood. Here's some organs. Okay, here's me lying down, passed out. Like, no one wants to see that shit. Here's David hugging me while I was in Tibet. Oh, my God. That's the most awkward trip photos ever. No one likes to sit through someone's fucking photo slideshow, you know, from their iPhone or whatever for two hours about your stupid trip to the Yellowstone National Park, and we don't need to see your trip to the Planet Fitness Fading Center in fucking Chinatown, Ohio, either.

Get out of here, Yolanda. So Erica, by the way, doesn't like Yolanda. I don't care what she says. She's not best friends with her. This is all fake. You can tell she doesn't like her, because she's looking at her so blankly, and she's just saying anything. But Erica looks at everyone blankly. She looks at everyone blankly. Oh, that's true. I don't give a fuck. I because she's looking at her so blankly. But Erica looks at everyone blankly.

She looks at everyone blankly. Oh, that's true. I don't give a fuck. I think she's awesome. I don't give a fuck. Hey, you know what I would have told your tit if it was my tit? I would have said, hey, fuck you, tit. I don't give a fuck.

That's what I would have said. I would take that silicone out and just pat my puss with it, you know? That's hot. So Yolanda starts, you know, she shows her the pictures, then she starts going over her trip and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, oh, the doctor told me that out of

all of the operations, mine was the worst she ever saw. And Erica goes, oh, out of 9,000 breast removals, yours was the worst. Like, she's just saying everything in such a deadpan way and blatantly mocking yolanda in front of her and yolanda's like oh this girl this is a hole to count on this one this erica i love this girl like erica is not buying your shit either but at least

she's still being nice to the hand that you know took food off someone else's plate to feed her. Yeah, yeah. Then Yolanda starts to cry because everyone thought she was crazy. Yada, yada, yada, yada. Yolanda, you are crazy. You're not healed from Lyme by getting a boob taken out. Do you understand how crazy that sounds? Well, she said, to be fair, she said that now her immune system won't be, like, stretched in three different directions. It can focus solely on the Lyme disease.

immune system won't be like stretched in three different directions it can focus solely on the lyme disease so yeah but when you're saying you have 500 other diseases and it turns out to be a leaky implant you were not correct no one said you didn't you weren't really feeling sick no one i don't i've never even i'm the worst we've all believed that she feels something we just think she's it's like i mean we don't think the root of it is the lyme disease yeah i believe that she's legit sick like something's wrong with her most of it is the Lyme disease. Yeah, I believe that she's legit sick. Like something's wrong with her. Most of it's probably mental, but there could be something else. I've never doubted that. It's what she's got and the fact that she's given it to her kids for publicity tours and all this other shit.

It's gross. But no one's ever said she wasn't sick. She's so cuckoo. I can't even keep up with it. When she says, everyone thought i was crazy and it turns out i was right i'm like no you weren't you still weren't you still you still called it 500 other things so please let's just fly this plane away and we do and i think that's pretty much it right kyle brings faye over to redecorate her gym which yeah i mean you know yeah there you go no

one's using that room. Yeah, exactly. And then, I mean, basically then the show sort of like gets its heartbeat back again when Lisa has a charity event at Pump. And this is where we meet Catherine. Catherine Edwards, formerly Catherine like, whatever. So she's a former model. She's a former model. Beautiful. whatever so she's a former model she's a formal former model beautiful but it's funny because when you look i remember seeing her face from the previews and everything whatever i didn't do any

research on her of course but i sort of thought she's gonna have like this deep voice and be like this old battle axe bitch just based on how she looks because she she's beautiful she's had like just enough plastic surgery where you can see that there's plastic surgery if that makes sense like she's just she's just on the line of looking like a crazy face but she hasn't crossed that line she's just a surgeried face um and so i thought she was just going to be just like this deep voice crazy diva bitch but the weird thing is that she talks like a 25 year old she's like hey what's going on hi how are you so nice to meet you i'm like i can't comprehend this yeah i'm not really sure what's gonna be happening with this girl but i like that she says i was too lazy to be an actor and i was barely even

a model because i was too lazy to make an effort yeah and i kind of like that about that just shows how hot she was because she like would do shit and was booking stuff. Yeah. I liked her. Me too. So far. And I like that she's ready to fight. I mean, she came in just ready to fight.

And when Kyle says, so, you know, Faye, she's like, nope. Like, she's ready to go with Kyle. Yeah. And Kyle says, well, Faye, you know, OJ, Faye, Faye J. You know, O Faye. And they're like, wow. She's really getting it. she's really tensing up. Wow, wow, that's weird.

I'm like, yeah, because Faye Resnick wrote about her in a book and said that she was like a look the other way wife and that her husband was cheating on her and caused a murder. So, yeah, she's tensing up. You would, too. In fact, you have tensed up. Every time someone mentions Kim Richards or any gossip about your family, you tense up. That's what you do, Kyle. And that's what Catherine's doing. Oh, my God.

If someone ever said something like that around Kyle, she would flip out for two years straight. By the way, what I loved when Catherine first appeared at this event. So it seems like her strongest link into this group is Lisa Rinna, like probably brought in by Lisa. And you have to imagine that the producer has told lisa like hey during this scene at some point like bring up the oj stuff so lisa does it in the most awkward way she's like it's so good to see you it's so good oh you know what's so crazy you know what i'm thinking of when i'm seeing you right now oh jason you know what she goes you know what i can't stop from spraying all over me lately oj jay oh yeah good. Yeah, that's so awkward. What an awkward thing

to say to someone who is, like, on the wrong end of that scandal. And also just awkward in general. It's spraying all over me. Could you be less subtle? Do you know what I got? Do you know what splattered all over me? Do you know what pattern the splatter is in

all over me? OJ. It's crazy. OJ. Like, oh, my God. It's crazy. OJ. Well, to be fair, no, because OJ, the 20th anniversary of that was in 2014. So, yeah, it's probably because when they're filming this, there's a lot of news about the casting of the OJ miniseries on VFX. But still, I still thought it was, like, such a weird thing to say. And, like, just a strange, like, you haven't seen this woman in in like two years like you know it's crazy i'm just remembering about that time that your husband had an affair

on you and the woman that he was sleeping with got murdered by oj simpson isn't that funny sorry to bring it up catherine's like um i don't care whatever it's over and then she's like but wait you were married to wait hold on so you were just fucking that guy, Marcus. No, I was married to Marcus. Oh, my God, you were married to Marcus. That's right. That's right, Marcus. And he was cheating.

Like, what was happening? He was, like, cheating. Like, you know, Lisa Rinna is such a shitster. And Catherine knew it and was not having Lisa Rinna. And when Lisa Rinna goes, wait, how did we know? So we knew each other because i'm an actress and you're a model i'm like you know folding chairs but um so the bro's like what what chairs she's like you knew harry right and she goes um i knew harry with nicolette i was like

yes catherine yeah snaps yes selling snaps's not going to take anyone's bullshit. That would explain why Nicolette Sheridan was in my dream last night. Isn't that weird? For real. That's horrifying. It's horrifying. I had like a lot of strange things happen. So the weird thing that happened, Lily Tomlin was in my dream.

And then I also had like there was a part of my dream where someone was talking about the architect Eero Saarinen. I don't know why. And then I went to Facebook today and someone posted on Lily Tomlin about Lily Tomlin. And then the very next post below that was about Eero Saarinen. Is that strange or what? I had a strange premonition. The computer screen melted, and it looked just like Nicolette Sheridan's face. Full circle! I had the most useless premonition in the history of mankind.

I'm a useless psychic. I'll predict what you're going to be posting about in the middle of the day on Facebook. I do have to add that I thought it was hilarious that Yolanda didn't come to this fundraiser at Lisa's because it was for hero dogs. And hero dogs detect cancer. They can

tell when you're about to have a stroke. They can smell lime, darling. Oh, Yolanda ain't coming to this one like none of the dogs are being nice to yolanda lisa's like you have nothing get out i've proven it well what i thought was uh interesting was that when lisa met katherine lisa lisa was like a little aggressive lisa's like hello and katherine's like oh hi thank you so much for having me she's like oh and who are you and she's like oh i'm hi, thank you so much for having me. She's like, oh, and who are you? And she's like, oh, I'm Catherine Edwards. Okay, and who are you here with?

And she's like, oh, I'm just here to support the charity. And then Lisa's like, oh, oh, well, thank you very much. But I thought it was like sort of a strange line of questioning of who you're here with. I don't know. Very strange. She's vetting her. Yeah, and Catherine is very intelligent and says,

I'm just here to support your charity I like animals more than people and Lisa's like alright you're in love you thank you nice move I have to mention that one of our readers and god damn it of course I closed the page like an idiot but one of our readers went to Pump this

week for dinner and says that Lisa she got to meet Lisa Vanderpump and Ken and Jiggy and Tom and Ariana. And that Lisa came up to her table to say hi. And she said, how are you? And she said, Oh,

I'm good. I like the show and everything. And Lisa asked her, what do you think of Yolanda's illness? Like in a sarcastic way. So if anyone's doubting that Lisa Vanderpump is a total C word, there you go. She's even talking shit about it with the customers as she goes around and says hello to all the tables.

Now, should that make me hate her more? No. Probably. Oh, yes. But it makes me love her more. I love that. I do, too. I think it's hilarious.

But she is a C-word. Like, let's make no mistake about it. And on that note. Okay, let's make no mistake about it. And on that note. Okay, let's move on. Wait, before we move on, though, one last thing I want to say about Catherine is I also have to respect Catherine for landing hot Donnie Edwards, who he's obviously he's a football football star who she mentioned many times. But he's like really hot. And and and he's nine years younger than her. and he's nine years younger than her. The fact that he's not out there banging some 22-year-old

that he went for an older lady, I sort of really respect both of that and I'm like, good for you, Catherine. Well, it also kind of lends credence to the whole she's a woman who looks the other way kind of thing. I mean, come on. She's married to a hot guy

nine years younger than her who's like filthy rich. Get out of here. Of course she's looking the other way and listen it's called um having a good mind for money okay yeah that's true too that's true too um okay so let's have a a break from the housewives for a second and talk about newlyweds the first year okay these housewives get depressing because you know so many of them just marry for money and they're like fame whoring and all the disgusting things that go into the housewives and makes them hateable um it's the opposite this show they

actually marry for love and they're even worse off some of them i mean if there's any show that makes arranged marriages look like a good idea it's this one oh yeah oh yeah so which couple do we want to start with why don't we talk about the gay couple first i feel like talking about the gay couple um so i i love brandon i think brandon is great brandon's the blonde one brandon's the older one who like the hairstylist the hairstylist so The hairstylist. And this week, the big issue is that Brandon, he goes away for a week or two every month to deal with clients in different parts of the country

or Northern California. And he's a clean freak, and when he comes home, Craig is dirty and leaves shit everywhere, including Adrian Maloof-style spray tanner stuff all over the floor and and the shower and Brandon loses his shit uh I am on team Brandon with this one you know if you are earning all that money and you keep keep things a certain way and then you have a this husband who just sits around and stains walls and fabrics I would be pissed too.

There is some weird thing, and it's probably in every relationship, and I notice it because I'm a homo, so I see it in the gay relationships more, but there's some weird daddy issue in gay relationships. I've noticed that people either marry, like they're, not always, but oftentimes people just marry like the dad they wanted and i think that this is one of those cases like he married a younger hotter guy right um who is completely irresponsible

has no idea about anything money wise all he wants to do is work out fuck and have fun and you know the younger guy gets stuff out of it too it's not like he married a rich man but he's still married to someone who's sensitive and caring and stuff like that that he needs, you know, in his daddy relationship. So it's kind of a daddy thing. And it's creepy when you think of it like that because he's getting nagged all the time. And I don't know. It's like he's not your dad, but you are also acting like a child. So what do you want?

I don't know. It's like he's not your dad, but you are also acting like a child. So what do you want? Yeah, because he definitely, when he's in trouble, Craig 100% sort of infantilizes himself. You know, he puts on the doe eyes, which you know has gotten him out of trouble so many times. You know, because he's got those little eyes that are the little round eyes that are right next to each other. And he's like, well, you know, I have a job too, Brandon. I'm going upstairs to work out okay and then he comes down an hour later like are you still mad about what happened are you still mad

are you still mad at me and then he does like the like his eye like his little eyes you know there's like these little like doll eyes so close and he's got that big circular face and he's like adorable you know cabbage patch doll eyes yeah and he's like and he does that little like frowning thing like are you still mad at me brandon and brandon's like yeah i Yeah, and he's like, and he does that little, like, frowny thing, like, are you still mad at me, Brandon? And Brandon's like, yeah. Yeah, like, his eyes are too close together, and he's got a really weird, too long name, like a Cabbage Patch Doll. Yeah, exactly. And then Brandon's like, yeah, I'm mad at you, because I am working, and I come back, and it's messy, and I don't like that.

And then Brandon's like, well, you know, I thought I was marrying a husband, not a parent. And I love it. Brandon's like, well, maybe you should bring your mom in here so we have time to be your husband and then he stops himself and tells us well i just wanted to tell him brendan if you didn't act like a child i wouldn't act like a parent because that's what every parent says and uh he stopped himself from saying it but he just said something else in a different way, which is so funny. It's like such a dad thing. Yeah.

I've really tried to not tell Brendan this, but, you know, I had to tell him in a nicer way. Yeah, well, I mean, it's funny because when Craig says, well, when Craig says, you know, like, I thought I was marrying a husband, not a parent. I mean, Brendan could have totally been like, well, I married a child for sure, you know,

because that's what Craig does in this moment. He does that like he's like and then when and then then Craig does this whole thing like, I know you're very stressed and you bring in a lot of money to the household. We wouldn't have anything like this if we just waited for my paychecks. But I really want to help out, too. And so he's like, so then later, Brendan's like, OK, well, this is what do you know what the rent is? He's like, no. Do you's like, okay, well, this is what the, do you know what the rent is? He's like, no. Do you know what the utilities are? No.

Do you know how much it costs to buy a pizza? No. Do you know how much it is to buy a coffee at Tiago? No. Do you know where Tiago is? No. Do you need me to walk you to Tiago? Yes.

And he's like, he's like, so you have no idea about money? No, but I bought crystal a two thousand dollar laptop oh my god and he starts why he's like i know you're not gonna you might be mad at this what well while you were gone i bought kristin he's also my best friend and assistant a new computer for a few thousand dollars so sorry he's like uh brandon looked out furious you can see that like not only do i have to wipe up your nasty spray tan but you're spending my money to give some assistant you probably don't need a better laptop than i have and i like he's like well fine she's gonna give me a laptop and she gets our old laptop he's like that's not nice brandy's like well i don't care he goes that's rude are you still mad at me i must have a family

um that's hilarious but you know you marry a child and yeah i mean yeah it's not like it's a big shock that he's you know a child yeah yeah big old child a big 40 something year old child who works out too much a big old hot child you want to have sex with yeah it's it's funny to me because he everything he does is like a teenager he cleans most of the house and he's taking home video of himself and he's like brendan's coming home today and like that means i have to clean it's hard and it's a it's a horror show in there like it is scary there's shit everywhere so he just basically throws everything in the bedroom and Brendan comes home and he's like oh it looks good it looks clean hun and he's like yeah um but I didn't get to the bedroom and he's like this is disgusting and he goes but I

thought you wanted me to be on time to pick you up from the airport so i stopped cleaning so i could be on time for you and like i just did it to be on time to the airport just wake up like an hour earlier oh teenager so that's that couple i still think they're okay because gay people you know gay couples like to snipe at each other and are they're still like a really part of it yeah part of it. Overall, they're still a really adorable couple, but that really... I have to say, Craig, it was funny because I was simultaneously laughing and really annoyed by him because he was being so ridiculous

and then he kept on doing that thing with his eyes and that little, like, I'm sorry frown. I was like, stop that! Stop being adorable! It's very whatever happened to Baby Jane, like how Betty Davis still dresses like a little girl and she keeps pulling out these weird like i've written a letter to daddy it's like girl you 70 you need to stop this shit now get it together yeah yeah so the other couple

so let's the next up we can talk about adonis and the girl. Whatever her name is. Oh, Adonis. Adonis. So it's interesting because that girl, I want, like, my impulse is to write her off as being a total idiot who should just move on. But I actually don't think she's a total idiot. She's pretty, like, it's weird. She does dumb things, but she seems to be pretty aware of when she is being disrespected and when Adonis is being totally sexist. And she seems to like speak up every time like he is being totally offensive to women and being a chauvinist. And yet she stays with him. And that's what I don't understand.

She is broken. I mean, that girl is just she basically said so in therapy. She's like, I mean, yeah. She was like, so, Adonis, I would send my parents Dora and they would fight and I'd feel alone and I just wanted someone,

anyone to make me feel better. I just literally would take anyone bottom of the barrel, like the next person, I said to myself, the next person who said to myself the next person was that I'll take them and that's what I met Adonis that's basically what it was and he's just sitting there with his stupid smile yeah

with that awful goatee smile he never stopped smiling it's like the worst thing she's like my parents would fire be there I be there and I would just think, well, I'm so alone. He's like. Like just smiling. Your mom's hot at least. And then like and then they go to therapy and the therapist is like, so here's the thing. So you guys never wrote vows, right? Because you guys both don't actually love each other.

Yeah, pretty much. OK, why don't you write some vows? So Adonis like you know he does the clips of them at their wedding he goes you guys were gonna write your own vows and then they show clips and the preacher's the we didn't talk about this but the preacher says and now you have your own vows and she's like i forgot to write them and he's like i forgot to write them too you fucking moron picture perfect wedding moron

so stupid so then what's funny is that as she's trying to write her vows she's like I want to write them but it's not flowing and I find that like everything that I'm writing it's like I'm trying to

like make him like I'm trying to appease him. They're all about my appearance and trying to not have a good butt and to be a good wife. And I feel like that's kind of fucked up. I was like, oh, good. They were. Her bowels were like... But the funny thing is she was saying as she's writing, oh, this isn't working. This is fucked up.

And so I'm assuming that she's going to course correct and be this isn't working this is fucked up think it and so i'm assuming that she's going to like course correct and be like no this is fucked up i'm going to make vows that are more productive and like about something bigger than that but then her vows like i promise not to gain weight i promise not to gain weight and to keep myself together and be a good wife. He's like, okay, I promise to be a good husband and smile. You two are fucking losers. Get out of here. And then he's telling a therapist, he's like, sure, I cheated on her 14 times, but I just want to do something so that she'll get over it. Give her a minute.

She just found out last week. Yeah, how about you shave that shit off your face? Maybe that's a good way to get a fresh start. Oh, man. You know, a couple of women, this one and the Persian girl, these women, you guys need to get some AM radio and listen to that evil C word, Dr. Laura, because you do not marry someone because you can make them into something else.

You get the man you marry okay and both of you I can't feel for you you're married to Adonis okay you deserve whatever you get bitch I feel no sorrow for you especially when you talk about losing weight and keeping your body for that fat fuck what did that guy ever do he's not

thin get out of here he's never worked out a day in his damn life it probably gives him sore arms to lift a big mac shut up lady and then the other one the persian princess she's like i thought getting married would help no it's not gonna help they like all of them said that at some point i feel like oh my god um yeah that's infuriating that persian princess now that's a storyline also i mean well her what's i don't remember the name of the husband. Is it Rob or something like that?

I don't know. That sounds right. Yeah, it sounds right. He's a dick. Well, she's bad and he's a dick. And essentially, he's still angry that his wife's family didn't really accept him out of the gate. Like they didn't give him gifts they didn't they always like the other one more i'm sort of like okay sure but it's kind of

your responsibility to show them why they should like you like you you're supposed to open yourself up to them as you are coming into this family just like your wife you know like right and instead his reaction is more like well fuck them fuck them i'm gonna like we're not gonna visit them i was like not only that but you're a much older man who was fucking their daughter four months into her marriage how much do you think they're gonna love you dude like that's not really a way to start this entitlement that he has it's ridiculous and he also has his own issues he's projecting onto it because he hates his own parents one is dead and one he doesn't speak to yeah his father beat them which is terrible like he has his own issues he hates parents anyway yeah so when i married somebody who's like so close

to their parents as as it is in that culture like you can't just marry someone and then get rid of their parents you controlling asshole yeah and i mean i understand he's annoyed about that phone bill situation about how like her family members keep piling on to their family plan but at the same time like well then why don't you let your wife get her own paycheck and she can deal with it and it's like and it's also kind of like that's you married into a persian family like that's kind of you had to expect that these were things that were just going to happen and he is just so controlling and such an asshole and when the when the mom is like why don't you come over why don't you come over and he's like hemming and hawing and then he's like it's all bullshit he's they're just putting on a front i'm like well you should call her on her bullshit and go and then then the ball's in their

court like you know it's just he's such an asshole it's yeah i don't i don't blame him for not wanting to support the family because she's saying it's the responsibility in the Persian family. The parents support the children and then the children grow up and support the parents. I ain't doing that. I mean, I'm not Persian, but I'm not doing it. And I don't blame him for not wanting to do it. But again, this is not some surprise. He's known this the whole time. And also when you said let her go out and get a paycheck and that's exactly right.

He tells her she's not going to work and she can just live this life. And then he controls the money. And money controls that entire family. It controls everybody in it. It controls her. It controls her parents. And so he's put himself in a situation where he's the king yeah they're all bowing down to him like one the mom is still going behind his back to talk shit about him to the kid because she doesn't understand why he doesn't like them but if he

ever said i don't like you because you're manipulative you're mean you wouldn't accept me and now you just want me to pay for your lifestyle fuck off you old hag well he can't say that either so what do you want? What do you want him to do? Exactly. No, he's absolutely ridiculous, and he doesn't take any sort of accountability for what he contributes to this issue between them. You know, he just assumes, he just says, hey, I'm a great guy, and I've been a great guy, and these people just don't like me. Well, you know what? You actually are a pretty rigid, cold person who's not very friendly and cocky and condescending. And so, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if early on or throughout this relationship, if he acted like that, and there's a reason why the parents just never really liked him.

And it's up to him. It's up to him to try to bridge that the best that he can. I'm not saying that they're going to be best friends, but you just can't just put up a wall and then cut your wife away from her family. Yeah, that's not cool. If you talk it through and then it's a fight and you still have to work it out because that's what a family does. Just because yours didn't, and I'm not even saying that as a diss, just because yours didn't doesn't mean that you don't have to with your new family. There's a reason you've been married three or four times dude like learn figure something out here yeah there's a reason why you have to meditate every morning to your own voice oh god wait was he

listening to a tape of himself i think so it was like his voice it was like i thought they were doing like a silly inner like they were giving him his inner voice. But it was probably a cassette tape. You're right. Yeah. No, I think it was like a recording of himself telling himself what to do. Also, you know, one of my pet peeves are people who meditate and they're surfers and they're just like, but they are actually like assholes and like rigid controlling assholes underneath, even though they subscribe to a free flow – like a go with the flow lifestyle. I hate that. When you become that serious about it and that like culty about it, it's because you hit such a horrible place that you have to do it.

Like most people who are really into yoga and stuff are very stressed out people with a lot of of weird issues because, you know, that's what they're doing to heal. It's like a, it's a medicine. Don't get mad at the medicine. Get mad at the sickness, man. And now, of course, she, by the way, is not innocent in all this. I mean, she isn't. When they have a lunch, they're sitting there having lunch, and she just forces a super awkward situation. You know, it's a recipe for disaster with these two they're

gonna have a terrible marriage they're gonna have fighting and manipulation past aggression and she's picking fights between the parents and him on purpose so that she can be like closer with the parents and they'll have a common enemy and then he she's got a common enemy with him against the parent and it's like lady i guess she's too being on sides is one thing, but you're basically starting wars all over the place to make yourself feel better, and it's creepy. It's not only that. She's too scared to say what she wants to say to both her parents and to her husband, so she's going to have them say it to each other. Which is probably what I would do. She's fucking ridiculous.

I can't with that girl. She is ridiculous. But I knew it was like this but i thought it would get better what did you think what was gonna get better he was gonna suddenly want to make double the salary so he could support your entire family who should be supporting themselves like you think you're gonna marry some rich white guy and he's just gonna take care of everything i'm sure he never alluded to that well you know what her never hinted that he was going to take care of everything. Well, her next step in logic will be like, okay, well, why don't we have some children?

And then it'll get better. That's what she's going to think now. Yeah, exactly. Children fix everything, right? Yep. And then it's all going to go downhill. Unfortunately, we only get to see the first year of these fools. I know.

So then the last couple is the uh the hot white guy and the hot black girl who also her name is like roe roe something rosanna not rosanna i forget what it is like wrote rolanda i don't know how do i want to show and not know their names i don't even care i just know what i don't know and i i always i always assume that his name is also Rob, but I don't know what his name is either. So the issue in this one is that she wants to quit her job. She hates her job. They're overworking her, and she's doing the work of two different roles. And she just wants to do her fashion blog, and she wants to be a fashion blogger.

And obviously, Ryan and I both understand that impulse. Well, not the fashion part, but we, uh, but the thing is that he doesn't want her to quit until she has some sort of job to, to, uh, to support, to support them, you know, to contribute to this, to the household, like even if it's a temp job. So I actually, you know, I, uh, I, I was sort of mixed on it because I feel like I understand what she's saying, that she was hoping that he would be able to support her, follow her dreams. I understand what he's saying, which is like, yeah, but we can't afford to do that. You need to get some money in there. But I think that his delivery was pretty terrible. He was pretty much like an asshole about it.

But he is an asshole. That's their communication to each other. They fight, like, for fun, and then they fight for real. And then they fight when it's serious, they fight when it's not serious. Like, that's their communication, and so they're never going to get past that. It's going to get worse and worse and worse. And that guy's way too aggressive fighting with a woman. I agree.

Well, I actually did not like, maybe this is me as a creative type, I didn't like when he's like, who are you? You're like a no one. You're like a no one off the street. I know what he was trying to say, basically like,

you think you're going to start a blog, it'll just be something, and you don't have any sort of brand recognition. That's probably what he really meant to say. But when he says you're no one, that's so defeating to someone, especially if you're like, you know, you want to be like,

you want to do something that's not traditional, as they would say say you're just being like a writer or whatever like that's like those are like really really really hurtful words to to to want to be bloggers they are but she is a no one she is a no one to be fair to him to be fair to him he treats himself the same way he wants to do something else, too. When he said, I'm going to go make music, babe. I was like, oh, please. I want to throw up, but I also want to hear your garage band loop, which that total was.

It's like... But it was good, though. It was good. It sounded like it was one bar he wrote, repeated over and over, that was like a garage band shit. He should really team up with DJ James Kennedy with Lala we can make music together that guy just needs lyrics you guys

that's all he needs but he does he said to us the first time to me and you personally to the audience the first time he spoke he was like look I want to be in the music industry and she wants to be in fashion. We're like Jay-Z and Beyonce. But, you know, that's not realistic.

And I believe in working. So my side job is being a lawyer. And that's what comes first. And the dreams come second. So that's his way of looking at life. It's how he's always looked at it. And it's definitely not a surprise to her so that she thinks she can get married and then quit her job living in New York City. I mean, girl, cigarettes are $16 a pack in New York City. Can you imagine how much is rent? My friend lives in a studio that she's lived in for 12, 13 years. And that thing goes up a little bit every month. You know, she's paying almost $1,900 for a tiny studio in the city. That place is ridiculous. Yeah, it's quit to be in the city. That place is ridiculous. Yeah.

You don't get to just quit to be a blogger. We're bloggers. We didn't get to just sit here and live off of our blogs. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. No one does that. Well, also, like, you can, if anything, if there's anything that you can do, like, alongside a job is blog. You know? Like, especially if you're blogging honestly and and also you know the sort of blogging that she wants to do compared to the sort of blogging that

we've done in the past like what you continue to do and what i've done like mostly in the past is like bullshit all she's doing is she takes some picture with some clothes maybe interview some people it's like sure there's some work involved but this is not like this is not something that you can't do for 45 minutes to an hour after when you get home or do a whole bunch of posts on the weekend so like i know you want to follow your dreams but this is not like writing the next great american novel build up your audience on the side because guess what ryan and i have both done it both with this podcast both with our blogs and we know this is like the first time i feel like in the history of the podcast

that we can really have an informed opinion about something for real. I started working for TVgasm and Top Chef Season 2 in November of what, 2007 or something. I mean, I've been doing it for a long time. I don't make money to support myself off that blog. And I've got 40 other people writing with me. It is so hard to make money doing that yeah and i'm not saying she shouldn't do it but you're right yeah you know when i had you know when tvgasm started in 2004 i had a full-time job admittedly there was a lot

of downtime in the job and so i could write my recaps actually at work um and i also had like a really cool boss who who knew that when nothing going on, I could sometimes writing recaps and he liked it. But I'm not saying that she can do has that same luxury. But but the point was that when I'd come home and I watched the TV shows, I'd be tired. I'd watch the TV shows. I wouldn't go out at night. I'd write this shit every single night for TV guys and for like for like, you know, a year and a half. year and a half and then um and then when we were like before we we sold the site there was for six months i was a segment producer on the fox reality channel fox reality network which is no longer

and i that job i would show up at that job at 5 p.m and sometimes not get home until three or four almost always not until one or two and i would go to sleep and i wake up next morning and watch these watch these shows and write full recaps and then walk into work again it was like i had no life and that's what i had to do if to build to help build tvgasm along with joe faz yeah and our contributing writers as well something you know you you find it when it's your art and your passion you do it on your own time until you can make a living. But, you know, it's another example of someone getting married and thinking, but maybe I hope if I get married, then he'll support my dreams enough to work for me. He never said he would.

He's never given any hint that he would do that or be OK with that. But once I'm his wife, it'll be different. No, it is not different. OK, you cannot come into shit and then try and pull shit once you're married and expect everything to be your way just because you're a wife now i mean look you're on bravo you ain't gonna be a wife for long this is bravo okay this is like the channel where people come to get divorced so please please just stop and next time marry someone that you actually like won't possibly turn into an abuser.

That guy's too aggressive. I don't like it. I actually don't think he'd be an abuser. I think that he's just – He can't control his energy at all. Well, you know, the problem is that he works in law in New York City, which can really be in a really aggro world, especially if you're young. And it's like it's cutthroat it's it's somewhat of a boys club and um it's you know he has to remember that the way he probably communicates with other lawyers etc is just not the way he should be talking to his wife you know like he has totally legit points but he just can't be

telling her to shut up and that uh she's a no one and he could be like listen i'm i'm i'm gonna support you the best i can but i think the smartest thing would be to just line up another job he even said get a temp job i don't care and then you can then and then do the blog but just don't leave don't put it all on me because i can't handle it by myself oh so now i never get to be my i never get to live my dream and i never get to do it thanks a lot well she only said that after he said that she was a no one oh but she is she's the no one in that world i mean yeah no but the thing is she is a no one but he said in a as if like, like the tone of the way he said it during heated argument was you're a no one. Why are you, you're being ridiculous.

Why are you following this? Which I know is not really what his words were, but anyway, he was, he came on too wrong. We've talked more about their relationship than they have ever. I think so. By the way, I also want to say I love their cat. I love they were having this whole big fight and their cat just kept walking up to them. It was like rubbing up on their calves and wanted food. I was like, cat, get out of the way.

They're fighting. Well, this show, we did not have to wait long to watch shit crumble. Love it. Thanks for that. Thanks for sharing your terrible relationships with us newlyweds yeah so let's move on to the real housewives of shasha shasha shaw woman yeah let's do it so uh the big news is that dawn wants to throw a dinner party to celebrate that she and ashla are having sex. She's like, I have such great news to tell everyone.

We're trying for a baby, so we're going to have a dinner party for it. Like, you narcissistic little bitch. What are you doing? This is ridiculous. Having a dinner party to show that you're going to try for a baby. I'll have a dinner party to say that I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow. I mean, what is this?

That's so Dawn of you. You're like, I'm going to have a party because I'm going to the gym tomorrow, tomorrow. I mean, what is this? That's so Dawn of you. You're like, I'm going to have a party because I'm going to the gym tomorrow, but I need 50 couches in a room for no reason to do it. Okay? Makes sense. Let's get this done. Let's get it done. So Dawn's like, so she's like, how rude?

No, she's like, we're going to have steak and fat chips and thin chips and sticky toffee pudding and ketchup and mayonnaise and mustard it's going to be a classy dinner i'm like yeah no everyone knows the don't world potter is elegant like really and then it comes to her telling the uh one of the employees she's got like 10 people working for her and she goes we need the ketchup the mayo and the mustard all next to each other in separate little jars sounds classy um and then we see then we uh then meanwhile over we have over in ampica's world we see ampica and one of the most disturbing swimsuits i've ever seen in my life it was like in one of the most depressing indoor pools i've ever seen in my life it was like in one of the most depressing indoor pools i've ever seen in my life

it was like out of the ymca i like to swim in my depressing bathing suit in my ymca bath pot the music on this show cracks me up it's like porn music but it's all played in a harmonica it's like it's like her in this terrible swimming suit in this humid indoor pool, not able to swim properly, acting all sexy like she's in Skin and Max by herself. And then Mac comes, you know, and his PJ is like pattering down the hallway. Darling, darling, you there? I'm in here, Mac. And he comes in. Oh, God.

You can put a pile of clover on a bed so you can sit in a swimming pool. I don't know about what you do with a pile of clover. The snake's in the water. You've got to get out. Don't get bit by a snake. And Mark's got seven beds. My son told me.

I asked my son the other day what's going on with Mac. And he said, Mac's got seven birds. I like to have birds. I like when Mac has birds, because I love animals, and I love Animal Sanctuary. I love to help out the animals. I'm doing a test for the animals. You can donate at the pool if you want for the animals. Instead, I'm going to donate

all these inflatable pool toys to the Animal Sanctuary and the vultures. I told Mac, you ain't got my two bitty birds. You're going to get shit all over the front of your suit, Buck. Very kind of the birds to come by, but the truth is I don't have any more room in the pool for the birds. I'm sure that Mark has like seven girlfriends hanging around. That guy looks exhausted, okay?

Give that man some slippers and a remote control cozy. He does not need birds. Yeah, he needs a DVD of Mr. Bean, and he can just cozy he does not need birds yeah he needs a dvd of mr bean and you can just cozy up and enjoy that so this is an example speaking of newlyweds this is an example of a couple who does not communicate honestly because they're both on different planets and they never know where the other one's coming from he's obviously still in love with her but he's like well at this point we're like brother and sister aren't we i look at a man i think oh it's my sister there's

absolutely no passion i repeat no passion whatsoever and then you've got her acting like she's in a porno video in the pool like posing, I made the boat. Look, my baby's back. He's like, no passion. No passion. Then she says, he's been that in seven years, but look, everybody knows the truth. He's holding out for me. I don't even understand what you said, which is really in line with the show.

He's holding out for me. He's holding out for me. That's why I'm recreating the honey video In my swimming pool Sweet like hot honey So then of course It's all romantic and she's trying to bang Mark But he's not interested So what does she do instead?

Talks about her friends That's how to turn on a man So she's like I called her a hoover Soaking things up all the time Empty a, I called her a hoover. What a hoover. Soaking things up all the time. Empty a trap over. She's a hoover. I'm like, Leanne, don't be a butt plug for someone else.

I'm like, do you stick hoovers up your ass? I don't understand. Like, what sort of butt plug is that? Because English is crazy to me. Don't be a butt plug for someone else. Oh, then do. Oh, my God. Again, she's not mad that Leanne's a butt plug. She's mad that she's not her butt plug.

Don't be a spatula for someone else. I'm going to flip a burger with your spatula face, okay? Don't be a spatula. Don't tell me that my bookshelves are crooked and then be a screw gun for someone else lad don't be a menorah like those jewish people lighting candles up in your right now don't do that it's not horny cool my favorite friend couple right now and i know this show is like a year old but i don't even care my favorite friend partnership right now is mcgully and lauren it makes no sense to me lauren is such a bitch on wheels and she's so arrogant and amazing by the way she's my favorite

one on the show by far but mcgully is so no nonsense and is not going to take this shit so it's so funny that they're like best friends yeah and i love that when they when they meet up for lunch mcgully's like oh these boots are made for walking. Walk, walk, walk, walk. Don't walk. Don't walk. Walk now. Walk. Oh, don't walk.

Flash. Flash, flash, flash. Don't walk now. Pedestrian stop. Cargo. Now walk. Look at me. I come back from Dubai.

Here I am. Dubai over there. I over here. I say, bye, Dubai. And then I say, hello, Shasha. And here I am. And then Shasha, I say, hello, Dubai. And he says, you just said bye.

And I say, oh, I hear Shasha. Sorry. Can't talk having lunch with lauren having lunch with lauren she has boot i have boots i'm like whoa lauren so you know what i do i go to lunch and i just i just listen my ears are here my ears are here i wrote that down too she's like hello lauren my ears are here lauren lauren my other favorite voice of the show, look at that, you know how Dawn is? We went to the casino and Dawn victimized some people. And Magali's

like, oh yes, you know, she sometimes make, wait, what did she say? She said, oh yeah, she said, oh, I understand. I was victim number one after the dawn i was witness number one she said i was witness number one oh i thought she said i was number one of the dawn they call me to the court of dawn and i say yes i solemnly swear to say the truth and the truth is i was witness to dawn objectify whoa whoa whoa leon whoa and then mcgully goes on a rampage then she's like

you know you nice to me i nice to you you mean to me you get three warning then i explode table in the air drink drink in your face and then another warning and then a fifth warning and then i take beach ball i I throw it at you. I tell you once. I tell you twice. I tell you three times. I throw a drink in your face. I throw a table.

I throw a drink at the table. I throw a drink with a table in it at you. And then I throw the entire YMCA at your face. And then you say, oh, well, well, well, well. I say, you're not nice to me. I told you once. I told you twice. I told you three times. You owe me a drink and a table.

And then I say, you know what? Life too short for this. Life too short. I'm a mother. I told you three times. You owe me a drink and a table. And then I said, you know what? Life too short for this. Life too short. I'm a mother. You a mother. We don't have time for this. I tell you once. I tell you twice.

And on three times, I'm tired of telling you. And I don't want to fight anymore. You know what? I tell you once. I tell you twice. And on the third time, I walk right up to you. And I just sit back and I listen. That's what I do.

Whoa. Whoa. And Lauren's ready to go. I'm not really sure what Dawn even did to her, except tell her husband to shut up when he was being an obnoxious asshole. But I don't really know that Dawn even did anything to Lauren, did she? Well, Lauren also, I think Lauren is still annoyed about Don going on and on about the hysterectomy. My hysterectomy, I'm having the baby. And so Lauren was like, ugh.

And then when Don got mad at her, you know, this is the way it works. You know, Don got mad at Lauren. Lauren was rude at that dinner. And then Don got mad at her for being rude. And so what happens is that Lauren rather than sort of internalizes it and just gets festers on it quietly and then she and paul fester on it and then when when don calls paul a chauvinist that's when lauren is like aha i can i can put all this anger onto don right now i've got it now so funny she thinks we're all stupid and we'll do what she wants. And that's not how it works.

She's like a rock walla. Rawr! She goes for ya. I don't really remember her ever doing anything to you. But I still love your hatred for her and can't wait for you to splatter it all over her face. So now we see a scene of Pika and Tonya shopping in a strange store that has black and white stripes on the walls. And Tanya, I like my glitter clothes. I'm just a regular old girl. I like my shawty clothes. I like my shawty. I like my glitter. My God, all this woman does is talk about her pussy and buy shit. I know. And she's like, I don't like to show my boobs.

I've had three children. My boobs are like implants and socks. I'm hungry. So, Ampika, of course, what is Ampika ever going to talk about? Dawn. Dawn. Dawn. Dawn.

His girl, like she made up with. Snakes, balaclavas. She's so shady. She says, like she made up with snakes she's so shady she says this isn't my top of school i'm in here with we told you normally you told you lots of shawty clothes all lockable limited style of clothes so that i could be sure no one else is with my clothing like girl you are wearing laced up like ziploc bags over your implants get Get the fuck out of here, limited clothing. I know.

So meanwhile, while they're shopping, simultaneously somewhere else in the British countryside, Leanne bought a farm. She's doing quite well for herself. I bought a farm from Dawn. She just only buys things from Dawn. Like, no wonder why she sticks up from Dawn. Dawn's her landlady.

She has to be nice to Dawn. And guess what? Great news for the world of interior design in England. Dawn is decorating the new farm. So that means that we're guaranteed to see a lot of purple velvet and silver accents and shiny gold things. It'll be disgusting. And grays. Lots of gray velvet, too.

Gray and purple velvet. Of course. And the first design thing she said was, well, we've got to get three L-shaped couches in here, don't we? Three couches? For Christ's sake, lady. Let's put some plexiglass in the floor. You can see the dirt through the floor. Yeah, Don's just fucking putting couches everywhere for no reason.

It's like, this will fit 30 couches. Let's do it then, shall we? Dabby could put on a show here. Dabby, Dabby, why don't you come here and sing a song? Oh, Dabby's coming up soon. Dabby finds her voice. Oh, I love the Mary Poppins, Dobby. Keep it up.

Dobby. Dobby. Raise your bass. Dolby. Dolby. Raise your bass, Dolby. Dolby, what you saying? Dolby. Dolby. So she calls. She's going to have this dinner party, this terrible dinner party.

Dinner party for sex with Ashla. She decides that she's going to invite Lorna Paul. No, no, not Lorna Paul. Ampiker. Ampiker. She doesn't invite Lorna Paul. No, no, not Lauren and Paul. Wait, it's Lauren and Paul. She doesn't invite Lauren and Paul to you, but and Peker. And then she invites her and Peker is so rude. She's like, oh, you call me then? What you call me back then?

I probably, well, I don't want to be rude, but who's gonna? Are Nick and Rosten gonna be there? You know, I'd rather throw myself off a cliff into an empty YMCA pool in my basement than be around Nick and Rosten, the dislikes, the balacabas.

And they're not coming, which is odd. So she's, like, gonna grace everybody with her presence. There must have been, like, an Amadeus revival going on. You know those guys love to go to anything where they can hold, like, a little fan and look at powdered wigs. Those of the days when they were Austin, they sure

were. Oh, the way that Amadeus played. Songs beneath a hip parade. I can't not see Aladé. I can't not see F. Murray Abraham in a wig Isn't that right, Rolston?

Oh yes, that's one of the greatest joys of modern cinema is being able to watch Tom Hulse and F. Murray Abraham spa If I were F. Murray Abraham, Rolston I'd say, you're a bad boy, F!

You're a bad boy Be You're a bad boy! Be quiet. Here comes the part where the emperor yawns. It's my favourite part in the whole movie. You love yawning bad boys, don't you then? Oh, look at her playing. Look at him playing with her boobies. What a naughty movie. I love this on my desk.

No one appreciates the piano anymore, do they, Rostam? Please hand me the tissues. It's the part where Amadeus dies. You know, it gets me every single time. That F. Murray Abraham is a very better girl, isn't he, darling?

Oh, she angry, ain't she? She's... She wishes she was as good as Mozart, but she's not. It's naughty. Naughty Maria Abraham. Look at it. Look at it.

Look at Salieri trying so hard. So good. So after inviting Ampica, then Leanne says, Yes. Oh, it's my pleasure to tell you. We went to the casino and Ampika insulted me and you. And then me again. Mostly me.

She called me a hoover. Ha ha ha. Thoroughly polite. Let me call you a Dyson Bowlin. I thought myself. Not even a Roomba? No. Hoover.

My least favourite vacuum brand. Well, you're lucky she didn't call you a broom. First girl she ever had in grade school, she called a broom. That girl's dead now. Ah, because I'm lucky. Well, you're lucky you're not a stick vac, are you there?

You could have been, she could have called you an Ergo Rapido. Electrolux 5000. You're lucky you're not just a Swiffer Sweeper then, aren't you? That's true. Count your angels, I suppose. One thing that I love about Dawn is she always knows how to make me feel better.

She's like a big sis she is. And if she makes me feel badly, I'll just move to another couch and then i get bored and i think about maybe cleaning up some of the dust around and i realize maybe i am a hoover oh no i'm torn so ashley so don is uh planning this party blah blah blah now we see her with her chef don is so stupid i cannot believe she's an interior designer she's telling her gay who's holding a cat while he's over the dinnerware by the way gross but he's uh walking around in his

hot pink scarf oh my god these gays so he has this dark velvet room he brings in flowers and she's like i don't know about the pink flowers and do all because that that will clash with the velvet i'm like you know that's the same color family right designer lady fucking she's awful here she and by the way this is a point where i wrote a note that i could have written at any point during this series which is that is so underlit. And part of me thinks it's actually not underlit. I kind of feel like they put a filter in post-production on this show because it is so dark.

It's like the colors are saturated, and yet the contrast is high, and it's dark. If you look at any of it, like Dawn's eyes, it's just two black circles, which probably would be true even in good light. But still, the darks are so dark, you can't see things in this show. It is so poorly lit. Note to season three, because I already did season two, get some lights going on here, please. Oh, my goodness. It is so poorly lit.

Yeah, well, in the Real Housewives shows, they only usually shoot in certain rooms, because I think they've got not lighting installed, but they've probably got their hooks and stuff. But it's not even... They don't want to install their lights. But any reality show, the lighting in this is worse than every single reality show I've ever seen. This was shot on a Samsung Galaxy phone. It was. And then, yeah, they threw some weird filter on it.

Yeah, because the colors are oddly vivid. But then it's just so... The shadows, the dark, it's just so dark. If you actually try to look at at the dark parts you can't see anything it's ridiculous it's awful especially dawn's house because it is like dracula decorated that i know the walls are made out of brown velvet and then the ceilings are brown velvet and then the the floors are dark everything in there is so dark and weird and then dawn's personality fills the room exactly and make it look even more gothic is the fact that she decides to put giant torches in front of her

house for the dinner party and with the logic being she's like i want the girls to say wow we're here at the great dinner party they're gonna think they're at medieval times the girls could be based being at my dinner party oh my god she lives in this castle oh and we didn't mention that she opened up the episode celebrating that she's gonna have a party by having some kind of charity event where all these 50 horses come down before the hunt before the folks hunt and they're just eating and they show all these big old dudes just like eating a cookie they're like we'd like to thank the great what's your name don what don don ward don wall we'd like to thank the great world farm like that's right boys all right let your horses poop on my lawn then you know they were all miserable because

they weren't allowed to shoot anything you know she's like all right i had to see an animal door how rude how rude to kill an animal all right go chase a rag like they're literally chasing a scented rag wait this is not how you treat great british traditions the bold family this guy's got all dressed up sorry she's getting ready for this party which basically means standing there in curlers while she walks like 15 watches 15 staff people run around her kitchen yeah then ashley comes in he's like darling can't go to the party to not have to get to france for some work um your mistress called i mean what the hell because you know you don't have to go to france get the fuck out of here listen he like all the

husbands on the show except for paul just cannot wait to get away from this show they are in hiding they so he's like oh wait wait i'm supposed to shoot tonight oh yeah i have to go to france i have a 19 year old in front of the legs behind her you know her ankles behind her darling it's part of the job gotta go she's like yeah ashley how could you do this to me oh it's a couple's party i'm having a party and it's like i'm having this big party and i don't even have a hobby i'm not doing it i'm not gonna do it he's like well it's just work darling i'm not golfing and she goes well i i'm not mad at ashley for going to france even though she's like berating him and yelling at him in the kitchen she's like i'm not mad at ashley for

going to france because we're on the cusp of a big massive deal. Yeah, what deal is that? To get like a corner of the market on giant torches for dinner parties? We are going to be the number one destination for hysterectomies and torches. When you're ready to unfreeze your embryo, we'll have a torch here ready for it.

Warm it up, boys! Darby will sing to it. Darby. I just love perfection. I can't just talk to you. I just wish you were here. Are you listening? So what we're doing about the band this week, then?

Yeah, I think we should have a meeting, yeah. So what we're doing about the band this week then? Yeah, I think we should have a meeting, yeah. You know what I just noticed last week, and it really continues into this week, is that Dobby talks that way only in front of her mother. Yeah. When she's doing her confessional, she's like, Hello, I'm Dobby!

Yeah, no, she gets her, she's like full on with anything else, but when she's around Dawn her she's like she's like full on with anything else but when she's around dawn she's like so then um so now everyone's going to the dinner party and leanne of course leanne's husband is has been mia since the first episode too her because her husband by the way is so smoking hot and we have not been able to see him and so of course leanne brings her mom because that's what leanne does because she's boring and it's just again further evidence that these guys are staying so far away from the show except for maybe mark and so um leanne is worrying she's worrying a new housewife yeah so so leanne is worried she's like she's like she's worried what will happen if mp calls her a hoover again? Leanne literally says, I might just not speak to her if she calls me a hoover.

Ooh, burn. Way to take a stand, girl. Yeah. If she calls me a hoover, I'm just going to not say anything because I'm out of a baller. If she calls me a hoover, I swear to the Lord, I'm going to take a sip of my champagne. If she even tries to call me a hoover again, I'm going to cross my legs and push my hand through my hair and sort of clear my throat a little bit and look around the room. And of course, it wouldn't be a party in Cheshire if someone didn't say,

Don has the best parties. There's champagne on top. Like, girl, someone send this country a case of Tito's. I mean, what the fuck with your champagne? I know. Lord, people, have you heard of spirits, darling? I know. So Don goes upstairs to do her hair

and makeup. What does this mean? I have to ask you, because I was hoping you'd know. Tanya says, a biker's coming? Is it going to be a bus stop? What does that mean? I don't know. Is it going to be a bus stop? What does that mean?

Anybody from there, please explain. Maybe she said a bus stop, like it's going to be a fight. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I thought she said bus stop. And I was like, what i was like what could have been it could have been that's where tanya's school was like is this gonna be a boring play then because i'm not sitting through it i'll tell you that edward albie

who has a name edward albie what's the first name what's the last name i'll be damned all right so the next one is is Nicola. I just have to say that Dawn has the biggest drag queen eyebrows going on, because they should have close-up, and those were full on magic marker on eyebrows. There was not a fleck of hair there. It was just full sharpie.

Ashley's gone, so I pulled out the sharpie. I often use the sharpie when Ashley's gone, but I haven't had a baby with the sharpie i often use the sharpie when ash is gone but i haven't had a baby with a sharpie yet i freeze the sharpest spam so lauren and paul arrive and uh nicola greets them but there's no no dawn anywhere dawn's upstairs doing this and so lauren is of course like i find it kind of strange that our host isn't here to drain us. Just Nicola, who's basically the help.

How rude. How rude. That Dawn can't even greet us. Paul is such a dick. Okay, so they're coming to, and I love it. They're coming to this, and Paul is ready to fight. They're both ready to take Dawn down in her own home, which you gotta love. So they come, and they're walking up and

uh she goes i've never seen this home and he says it's quite lovely isn't it maybe i'll buy it for you oh you're such an ass he is an ass but he's like the thing is he's just like having fun because he doesn't give a shit and the thing is that by the way if dawn ever went to a dinner party where she was greeted by someone's assistant and then had to hang out with everyone in this little room where the host was nowhere to be seen for half an hour, you know Don would be the first to be like, how rude.

I could have been out doing anything. And they're not even here to greet me. How rude is that? How rude. How rude. It was rude. I mean, she made them wait a really long time everybody was there lauren was cracking me up because she was like what kind of party is this land's got a mom

doom's got a mom and the children it's not christmas and there was like a whole like gaggle of moms in royal blue sitting on a couch in the middle of the day by the way it's fully daylight outside and they're pretending this is some dinner party it's like noon oh it's summertime summertime party ronnie's son's still in the air it's like a noon you know they're shooting this at like 11 in the morning. It's all the grandmas and the kids. And the only husband who showed up was Paul. That shit is gold right there. So Dawn finally comes down the staircase an hour later dressed like a figure skater, I'd like to add. She is fully in Tanya Harding clothing.

She is. And she's such an idiot. She goes, oh, I'm sorry I'm a bit late, but y'all know me. And then she says, everyone's arrived, and they've been waiting on me because I'm late. It's my heaven. What? Shut up. What the hell? You stupid woman.

So, uh-oh. What is that noise? Do you hear it? It's the leaf blower. It's the magic. Watch what crappens leaf blower. Well, that's. Manages to arrive during podcast time.

Are you just ampeaking me? Did you just call me the leaf blower? You know what she is? She's a leaf blower well that that's manages to arrive during podcast time are you just ampeaking me did you just call me the leaf blower you know what she is she's a leaf blower that's what she is she blows the leaves around blowing the leaves around for dawn for more because that actually cleans shit up instead of just blowing it around the worst thing i've ever seen so so everyone so don comes down and everyone's getting along and don's act don and paul are even getting on a little bit and don says to paul you you know, when I first met you, I thought you were a knob. But you're a nice knob. Lauren is not having it.

Lauren's like, you are now rude. That's it, Lina. You're officially rude. I would never talk to someone's husband the way she talks to my husband. I wrote down West Side story because we were doing that last week and i'm still laughing about it but don comes down the stairs in that terrible outfit and the music's like what the hell is this show? And it kept going and going.

Like, what is that story, Dan? I know. I'm sorry for going back, but I just saw that I was dying. Okay. No, it was hilarious. It was hilarious. She literally liked Nancy Kerrigan coming down the stairs. So then my next note was,

I had a terrible day. I was on the phone with my dad Until the late at night Because he had the Parkinson's And I finally have him back in my life And now we have this old relationship right now It's like a snake Mark, I called my dad All I wanted to do was go over there and take care of my dad

Because I haven't talked to him in years Now he's got Parkinson's So I wanted to repair the relationship By being with my dad He said no, because he didn't want me there Because he didn't want to be hard on anybody. It's true, it's hard on me, Mark.

It's hard on me, Mark. It's hard on me, Mark. Mark's like, yes, dear. Wonderful job. Great. Haven't called me or written much.

I just want to be with my friends. That's, you know, it's been such a hard day for me. I want to be with my friends. But if you ask me, do I want to be with my friends but if you ask me do i want to be with don ward the answer is no which spells no because i don't want to be with her i don't want to be with anyone i'm down ward but i want to be my friends that's

what it is because if i want to be with don ward you know what i'd rather do i'd rather go streaming them ymca pool that's what i want it's like okay and beaker you can like end your insults i get it i'd rather have parkinson's and be with. Oh, my dad's got Parkinson's. It's like, oh, my God. Every single thing is about this woman. Okay? And on this show. Well, I mean, that's okay.

If her dad has Parkinson's, I think that is, like, a legit thing to. Her dad, who she hasn't spoken to in years and years and years and years and years and years, has a disease that suddenly she's going to now make about herself on tv for fucking attention and pika can't do anything that's not about her or her fucking she's cried about something in every single episode i'm not saying it's good that her dad has parkinson's i'm not saying i'm gonna let that slide i think that's a little i'm just saying your dad has parkinson's and it's like a new diagnosis but it's like's sad, but it's like, here we are. It's just something else with Ampica. There will always be something for Ampica to be a victim about.

And I'm just saying that is not your disease. That's your father's disease. And when you just spent last week... Shut up, Ampica, is what I'm saying. Let the man alone. You're like a toaster. You're like a toaster. You put the bread in and it comes out burnt. That's what you are, you toaster.

I'm a burnt piece of bread, Ben. I'll take it. And I know that's awful what I just said, but M. Pecos pushed me to that level, Ben. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this woman making everyone else's problems about her. Like, why is she the one who gets all the attention when Mark's dad dies? It was his dad. I know.

Fucking tramp. Shut up. Anyway, at dinner, I was starting to laugh because, again, the chef served steak. And I was just wondering if Dawn was going to send it back the way she did at Ampico's party. And, like, by the way, it's sort of funny. All these women do is eat steak and potatoes. And that – honestly, the food looked way better at Ampico's party. Like, that chef did a much better job.

I mean, I shouldn't say a much better job because I don't know how it tasted. But at least this presentation looked like it was from 1988. It was just like he had some steak with some yellow things on the side and some asparagus. Were they eating eggs? Whatever it was, it was very like – It looked very old-fashioned. Not old-fashioned, just outdated food, which is exactly what I would expect from Don's parties. So now at this point, everyone's drunk.

You can see everyone's drunk. And Magali gives – well, and Pico walks away from the table because she's sad. And she just needs to go cry somewhere. And so then Magali suddenly is like – Meanwhile, she got dressed for three hours. Did you see what she was wearing? She looks like she's going to the Oscars. And she's like, I don't know what I'm doing here.

I just should have stayed in bed like I was all day get out of here you've been getting dressed for three hours and now you're gonna sit here at a table and make it all about you again shut up ampica already just shut up okay so then mcgally's like so mcgally's like you know like disease is terrible you know my my sister she she is three year free cancer She is three year free cancer and so we are going to raise a glass to it because it's a scary thing. And Paul is like do we have to talk about such depressing things as cancer?

I was like I mean like I know what he's saying because everything was depressing and sad but like I kind of want to be like dude chill. She's saying that she's celebrating her sister being cancer free it's mcgally mcgally's mcgally you know all and lauren in this scene they're a perfect example of people ready for a fight but the fight's not happening but they're

gonna make it happen anyway even though it's completely inappropriate and that's totally what they were doing he was just picking at people the whole time yeah because because people that this is so depressing oh my so you want to tell the worst story in the world then all right anyone's family member missing a limb lauren's the back and be like i know spot on paul spot on and they both start saying at the same time it's not the time of the place and i love how they're like sitting here talking about time the place and what's proper and who should speak or whatever i'm like listen if you're a proper british person you would know the way to deal with like improper table discussion would be to politely just change the conversation you don't say who wants to talk about this boring topic you just say like so have you seen the latest football match?

It was quite a good day. It was wonderful. I saw an animal the other day. I saw a squirrel. Must be squirrel season again. Or at the very least, just say, I've done a lot for that horse or something. Or you just cut everything off by saying, all right, let's raise our drinks to Magali's sister. And then everyone raised their drinks. Be like, hey, did you just happen everything off by saying, all right, let's raise our drinks to Magali's sister. And then everyone raises their drinks and be like,

hey, did you just happen to see that? And then all of a sudden you move on. But you don't say, oh, it's depressing, Magali's sister. And then Magali gets like, Magali starts doing this cry. I think she does a housewives cry. I fucking love Magali. She starts doing the housewives cry that's not tears. Like there's no tears. But she's as dramatic housewives cry that's not tears like there's no

tears but she's as dramatic as possible she's like why you say that who could do this my sister survivor who would be who would speak like this like please stop trying to pretend to cry and beat the shit out of him like you want to do speaking of pretending to cry we then cut to mpker and mark in some random room that was out of like a 1988 calvin klein obsession commercial with these vases that were like seven feet tall with like little flowers in the top and a random window in the bottom as if they were on the top of you know the space needle in seattle observation deck but it's really just an observation deck into whatever's under this castle it was this tacky overly not designed but like conceived room and and we have

this like footage from like high above and and beaker and mark are crying and beaker's crying and he's like i guess we're gonna go and so then they go and then without saying goodbye to anybody goodbye to anyone but dawn comes by and it's like oh i hope you feel bad i'm heartbroken for you you're chewing up all right you're not been such i had a hysterectomy i'm almost gonna get one so i'll have a chin up as well so you know this is affecting me too and so mpker's like i'd like you to know i'm sorry for your father i'm sorry to see you acting up feeling like this and i want you to know that my future child will feel bad about it too once it's developed yeah and mpker's like dawn is acting like a

flawless nightingale, but you know I'm not fooled by Dawn. I know that she is real, don't care. I'm like, ain't no tea, Dawn. I'm happy to leave you. I hate you, Dawn, so much. I'm really uncomfortable about you. Like a snake in the river. I'm going to swim away to you if Dawn's not a guy. I'm not buying all that Dawn's doing to me.

I met the horse bolted a long time ago. Like, what? I know. Is Don still your horse? Is that what this is about? No, Don would. He probably would. I found the horse.

It's mine now. I found a scapegoat. That's it. I'm going to get Don back one day. So then now back at dinner. So Paul, like you said, he is ready for a fight. He wants to get the show on the road. So he just decides.

And it's like old ladies talking about nothing. Nobody, you literally hear the clink, clink. Is this X then? I think so. Is this Manny? Isn't it so little John? You know that Leanne is probably just like rambling on about something really, really inconsequential. Like, I was at the store the other day,

and I saw that the pickles were on sale. Had a good deal on them, and I thought about getting the pickles, but I thought, well, before I do that, better check to see if anyone's going to eat the pickles. So I went all the way home, and when I came back, the pickles weren't on sale anymore. I passed the diaper aisle, and I thought, look at that cute little black baby.

I want one of them. I want a baby. Anyone want to give me a baby? Oh, diapers. I got this great idea that I'm going to steal Dawn's baby. Oh, did I say that out loud? How funny.

So Paul decides just to go in on Dawn, which was really rude. It really was rude. You know, we're always on Lauren and Paul's side, but they were really out of their minds. Yeah, they're horrible. They're awful. I'm on their side because I just know they're going to be so bad.

Well, yeah, I mean, they're entertaining and they're bringing some spice to the show, but, like, Paul's like, Dawn, are you going to have a, so you still think you're going to have a baby? And she's like, I know I'm going to have a baby. Working on it. Ash and I never give up.

And he's like, all right, well, you have as much of a chance of having a baby as a snowman has going to Kenya. Whatever it was he said. Oh. You have more of a chance of meeting a Donald Duck than a baby. Something. Yeah, yeah.

And then Tommy starts getting mad. Well, first of all, Lauren and Paul are both laughing. And Lauren's like, that is right on, Paul. Paul, you're so right. I can't wait to laugh about this while we're sewing things in Arizona. And then, Paul, no one's getting mad enough yet. Dobby's starting to get pissed. Dobby is like. Her Sims speak is getting really loud.

She's like. She sounds like a screen door in a windstorm. Like, So she's getting pissed. And then Paul's still not getting enough of a reaction. So he's like, All right, then. Who wants to take bets, then?

Who wants to take bets that she's going to get pregnant? I'll bet she's still talk. She's not even going to get pregnant ever, which i'm with him this is totally her trying to get a story whatever she's never gonna have a damn baby get out of here and she doesn't even care about having a damn baby i don't buy anything from don but i agree with him but it was so rude and hilarious and then dobby i'll bet five quid so then dobby is like you can't say you can't, you can't say, you can't say,

you can't say who's going to have a what to her, who's going to be where. You never know, she's going to have a baby. Don't say it to me. And then I love how Dobby's like, don't want a baby, do. But, you know, I'm going to feed my mama. But I love that Lauren's...

She gets all serious because she's pissed now. She's like, my mother, I don't want her to have a baby. But if she does, I'll support her. And no one's going to talk about me mom like that. Whoa, Dobby. It's like Dobby's equivalent of Darth Vader, you know? Yeah.

But then Lauren, of course, she has these random times where she falls back on old school English etiquette. And she's like, I believe that children should be seen and not heard and i'm hearing it i don't like it i'm like well first of all this is the first time anyone's ever heard dobby so just let her have her moment because for 18 years no one's heard a word that came out of her mouth but i love that lauren all of a sudden is like respect your elders i'm like well you know you guys were being crazy so lauren lauren starts to turn she lauren is now mad she's actually got that really angry lauren look in her face and she turns dobby she's like you know i have to say for a girl who's as young as you and before she even get that next

word out don is out of her chair and she's like don't dog my daughter don't dog my daughter but she wasn't even saying that She was saying Don't dog my dog Don't dog my dog She starts off as Don't dog my daughter And then she changes to She's not dogging my dog

She's not dogging my dog Not dogging my dog What does that mean? It's like is Dobby a dog? What does that even mean? Don't dog my daughter I've never heard that What's the dog gotta do with it and then so then lauren and paul leave paul was already actually on the way to leaving already

and so then they leave and that's when don's like jog on bitch jog on jog on bitch so good and i was like what are the what are the mom there's like a whole bunch of moms there. What are they thinking? Oh, I can't wait to see what this looks like on the telly, eh? Is this mayonnaise in its own jar? Did you do this or did it come like that? So then Magali is mad, of course. No, you don't say that. You're rude.

You're rude, Lauren. You're rude. This is how you say it. And then Don. What's a noble? What's a nobe? Which is kind of funny. But how else would you open a. And then Don. What's a noble? What's a nob? Which is kind of funny. But how else would you open a door? Magali.

Yeah. And then Magali is trying to talk them down. Whatever. And Lauren's like, then what? You got to talk about all your problems at dinner. Basically, Lauren, it's like, Lauren just does not like talking about anything but the lightest stuff at dinner or in the bathroom. That's basically what we've learned. She's very British in that way, I suppose.

Lauren says, I've never been thrown out at anyone's house. In fact, they usually beg me to stay. rude to lauren that you talk about a conversation topic that's like either sad or a little heavy than it is to actually mouth off to the host and be obnoxious and ridicule the host like that is a lesser offense than saying something sort of deep she's a cuckoo bird like i don't think she knows what's rude or not i love that she's the uh the one that's always going on about manners and shusha. And she's so rude and awful. And I love it. Yeah, I love Lauren.

She's still my favorite. She's my queen of shusher. Yeah, me too. And Magali. Magali too. Magali doesn't really do anything. That's the thing. She just makes sound effects, which I appreciate.

Because you know what? The Police Academy guy was my favorite too. You say? I say no. But the weirdest thing about this, and in typical shusher fashion, this is the end of the season you know that right it's the last episode so that's it she's like but they showed out and then that's it but they said like next time and they start showing but like there's no other i don't understand what's going to happen because there's only 10 episodes in season one and i don't think that the set the last episode was a two-hour episode.

So I don't know. Maybe they're going to just start to segue into season two immediately. I don't get it. I think they – well, they've already done season two over there. So I think that they were making it more like a to-be-convenient season two because it never said it's the end of the season. I had to look up on the website to see if it was over but then didn't do their end of season like dawn you know yeah but it didn't it also never said neck it didn't say to be continued it said next time dot dot dot oh i didn't see that

part what were they showing for next time do they all have different faces no it was just they were continuing to fight and they were like next time as if like we're gonna see the rest of this fight it was weird it didn't oh that is weird i'm not sure anybody from there tell us what the hell's going on because as far as we know this shit's over i mean we've i've downloaded two of the entire season torrents so if there was something else they're not neither one of those i don't i i really don't get it and i don't know I'm like looking online I don't see I don't get it

That's how we should just end the show Just say next time the end Wait what the hell is this show over Sort of the way Shaz the Sunset ended their last season They were like To be continued dot dot dot question mark Free ball So

That's it for us, at least. Yeah, we're done. We're out of here. We're done. Fun episode. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Remember, we have a Hangout. Although the thing is, technically, by the time this gets uploaded and by the time you get to this part of the episode, Hangout may be over. So next time, just know that next week, it's usually the second or third Thursday of the month.

Yes. So super fun episode. Thanks, everyone, for supporting us. Thank you to our super sponsor, Marvin J. Sorry we didn't mention you until this part of the podcast. And thank you to our sponsor who contributed the question to the mail mag today and thank you to the academy so uh that's it so bye everybody bye today's episode is brought to you by texture try texture for free right now when you go to

texture.com slash crappins.