Watch What Crappens - #2605 RHONY S15E05: Cher-ing is Caring

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

This week on The Real Housewives of New York, Jessel has a Clueless party, and Erin decides to be mad at Jena for some indecipherable reason. Brynn left set early to get a spray tan, and Jena talked on a fake phone for an hour. To watch this and all our recaps on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin' ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Kill List is a true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. Follow Kill List wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit-see true crumb shows like morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wandry Plus. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about to our new bros.

I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Happy Halloween. Well, happy Halloween, babes. Happy birthday.

Everybody, I don't know why I said happy birthday. I was going to say you little devil, but you're not a little devil, are you? Well, happy Halloween, baby. Happy birthday. Everybody. I don't know why I said happy birthday. I was going to say you little devil, but you're not a little devil. And you know, growing up religious, instead of having Halloween, we had All Saints Day. And that was more religious. You went and bought for apples and stuff. And then your parents were like sinners probably put razors in those kids. So be careful. It's like, yeah, you can have me stick my head underwater and Bob for an apple and tell me there might be a razor but be careful. What kind of fucking advice is that? How about don't take your children to a knife and a blade infested apple drowning ceremony for Christian fucking weirdos. Anyway, happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween to everyone. I hope everyone's having a lovely Halloween. My, you know, you did wish me happy birthday. My Halloween costume is me celebrating my birthday. That's what I've decided. That's what I'm dressed as, my birthday. But it's not my birthday suit. Well, yeah. Well, thanks for that.

That's nice. We're not starting that kind of show yet. I saw my birthday suit yesterday because I have a lot of mirrors in this house now. Well, just in the bathroom and the closet. And wow, that was quite a... I just stared at it. It's like, wow, so this is what I live in. Interesting. Anyway, everybody, welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of New York Day. So if you're wondering why we're going off tangent and talking about random things is because it's Real Housewives of New York Day and that's how we roll.

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Burger King $17. So what's on your mind, Ben? Um, Ma, well, you know what? I'll tell you what's on my mind. Rony. What an exciting show. Um, I will say, I, um, I was like, oh yeah, you know, maybe I actually want to go back and watch Clueless.

I haven't watched Clueless in so long. So I don't know. I guess that's what's on my mind. What's on your mind? Nothing, just doing this episode. Halloween. You know, Halloween, my niece is coming. I'm going to go to Katie Kuzorla's little,

little big Halloween party tonight. So that should be fun. Oh, that's fun., I'm going to go to Katie Kozorla's little big Halloween party tonight. So that should be fun. Oh, that's fun. And I'm just excited to live my life. But for now, let's talk about this show, Real Housewives of New York. Now listen, we're entering the season with a new positive attitude. We've rebooted our attitudes because at the end of last season, you know, this show got a little rough for us than the last season.

But we're entering this with a new attitude. The show needs to follow suit because the show is entering with the same old attitude. Bravo. Listen to your fucking audience and take some notes every once in a while. How do you get through that whole season last year and say, you know what, let's get more boring people and do even less. Let's have people do even less. Nobody has to show their lives. Nobody has to do anything. Just have them show, you know, if your cast wants to leave in the middle of a party

to get a spray tan instead of sitting there at work, let them do that. Sounds like a great idea, Brent. You're already having a fucking great season, so why not just drop everything and go get a fucking spray tan during a work event? What the hell is going on over there? Everybody get in this goddamn office.

We're having a meeting reboot the reboot. That's what I say. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I've actually had a rebooted attitude. I think I've been actually pretty chill about this new season. And I've been, you know, I've been enjoying it. But like, yeah, I think it's just hard when this show airs when we have much more exciting stuff happening on Bravo. I mean, you look at Potomac, you look at Orange County,

you look at Salt Lake City, and these are shows where you have people acting ridiculously. And you know, some would say the selling point of New York is that they're just like chill ladies. I get that, but- That's a different network. I'm not gonna lie. It's, it's a little rough. It's a little rough. I mean, just, it's a little hard

just sitting there watching this fun party that only half the people dress for this is like a, this is a cast of alleged fashionistas only like half of them know how to dress for Clueless. And then you just have Erin honking her way through it like, I don't feel close to her. I'm like really upset by her. And I'm like, okay, well, this is thrilling TV. Thrilling, thrilling TV. Now one person cut their hair in solidarity with me being mad at Jenna. I'm so upset about. Erin just deciding she's going to being mad at Jenna. I'm so upset about Aaron just deciding

she's gonna be mad at Jenna literally for no reason. Well, I mean, you gotta, I mean, listen, you gotta give her props for at least trying to start some sort of, you know, storyline here. She's like, well, we're kind of languishing, so let me go after the big dog. So I'm mad at Jenna.

Yeah, it's not. Okay, you have no reason to be. And you're obviously just teaming up with Brynn, who's like, not the one to be teaming up with, especially this year, to take down Jenna. Jenna doesn't do anything. You don't have to take Jenna down. Jenna's already down.

What does Jenna do? Jenna's in like an extended nap. Now, Jenna's the best part of this show. For me, she's the funniest part. And she's probably, even though she's refusing to show her life, like her lover and all that, she's still probably the most, I find, herself on this show because she is so like,

my spirit and my art. She really is a flaky rich New Yorker, trying like the new age bullshit on us. And I like that. I think she's very good. She's very entertaining to watch. And it's hilarious watching these girls try to bring her down for literally no reason. And she's not going to fall for it because she doesn't care about you. Do you know what I mean, Aaron? This woman does not care if she

hangs out with the CEO of home girl, part time designs in New York City. Are you fucking kidding me? Nobody cares Aaron Okay, where you know withhold your friendship, please do it's like it was a Costco saying, you know what? I'm not going to serve you gelatinous bubbly chicken today Um, is that okay? Yes, it's okay. Keep your gelatinous flappy chicken. I don't want it Yeah, i'm also growing increasingly concerned about the Raquel situation, as in, I don't totally understand why she's a full-fledged real housewife.

She's cool. She's a very cool person. Like, I would love to be friends with her, but I don't understand, like, what value she's really bringing to this cast so far. She told a very lovely story last week. But I'm like, okay, Raquel. If anything, Rebecca Minkoff is the one that cracks me up the most. And the one time I actually just laughed out loud this episode was when they did a montage

of Rebecca being boring and I was dying. I was like, that's my kind of thing. Like, I'm like, why is she just not a full-fledged housewife? I would love to see her just leading her like her boring and strange Rebecca Minkoff life, you know, you know, doing stupid things like probably picking up a she probably there's probably some child in her life named like Jacks or Cruz. And just to pick them up from some sort of like, you know, kitty yoga, it's like we're doing like a yoga with Jacks today. So I'm going to pick them up. Like I would love to see that. But instead, we've got Raquel, who's just like, yeah, I'm going to get on a motorcycle today. Like, I don't know. I don't

even know what Raquel did this week. What did Raquel do this week? Raquel's new, so I'm giving her some grades. And I think also the auditions for this show aren't like, wow, how fabulous and wacky are these? How extreme are these personalities? Which I don't, and I'm not even gonna do the old New York. Who cares? That's over now. I think it was time for that to end. Personally, I know that we don't necessarily agree,

but I think that it was time for that to end. So I'm all for a reboot in general, but I think that the auditions need to be like how entertaining these people can be. And I think now it's like, you know, guys, let's do a new modern version of it where we get in touch with like what maybe a modern generation would be in touch with.

Trauma, constant fucking talk about trauma and victimization, literally the whole time. Cy, you're gonna bury your mother's ashes on, really, this was last, I'm so sorry. This is so cool. This is cold to say, and I'm sorry. And I'm not just saying it to be funny. I feel like kind of manipulated. Like that's your mother's death. That's so sad. And that was also your storyline last season. Like how long are you going to keep bringing it on just for the trauma?

We get to see you pick out lettuce and then bury your. Why am I watching you bury your mother? We just talked about this all last season. I can't have every season be about everybody's dead parents. I can't do it. I can't. I can't do it. It's too much. I watch this for enjoyment. What are you doing to me? Picking lettuce and burying people? Come on. Hot take. I enjoyed the ashes scene. I know. I know. I thought it was sweet. I think it was just because that little boy cried and I was like, oh, little boy.

It was sad. It's just like when nothing is going on on the show and it's all centered on trauma, it's usually a mixture of this is their real pain that they're going through. But the fact that it's like, this was an all last season thing, we got the feeling of it.

And now it's like, we need to shoot. We need to do this on the And now it's like, we need to shoot. We need to do this on the, we need to do this on the screen. You know, it's like, why it's so, it's so, it's not like we've never seen anybody spread ashes or do anything like that. I'm not saying that. And I'm not trying to pick on her specifically. I'm just saying like they need something and that's not it. They don't need more trauma and sadness.

They've got enough of that. They need more fun. They don't need more trauma and sadness. They've got enough of that. They need more fun. They need more. Yeah, they they there's just not a lot of personality. And I think that the way that they approach the show, I think that Bravo has handled this show in a way where they've just sort of taken a tonal exception with Roni, where they want to make it I think, more aspirational, maybe it's sort of like the Beverly Hills School, but Beverly Hills is messy and has like genuine darkness going on.

And I think they're trying to make it like, these are the people you want to like be friends with. These are the people that you would love to see. You see their fabulous lives in New York City. And it's like, no, I think with New York City, we want to go behind, you know, the veil of the super rich, the old money that are acting heinously. And it doesn't mean like, I'm not gonna keep saying like,

oh my God, bring back old Roni. Like it's fine that we've moved on from that. But I just, I think that like Bravo has, as we've said many times before, they've abandoned the camp factor with this show. There's nothing really funny about this show. I think the show feels, I think the show thinks it's nothing really funny about this show. I think the show feels, I think the show

thinks it's being very clever and funny. Like we're having a clueless party. Just look at the clunky way the episode opens up. They just aren't able to do it. They try. Other shows do it, like Potomac and Salt Lake City open up with a silly intro. But this show just like falls flat in this really strange way. And I just don't think that they that I don't think that they know how to how to handle whatever mandate Bravo has given them. Yeah. So you know, we're sticking with it. We're not giving up and I'm rooting for the new New York. You know, I've always been rooting for it. I liked it most of last season. It just didn't get me crazy until towards the end when it was the constant Aaron with a hum and that brought it down, I think, but you know, I'm rooting for it.

I think that there is something that they could do there. I just don't think they're doing the right thing and they need to listen to the audience, please for Christ's sake, people listen and look at your ratings because they're tanking like listen people This is it's not only about this city to me It's about the whole thing you can't take something that you've built for 20 years and then be like guess what we're not fun anymore No, you can't do that. It's not you need to be fun be fun. Yeah I think the saddest state of affairs is the fact that here we are a day later,

like we're a day late with our recap and it was like crickets with our social media. Like, like when we, when we, we put an episode of below deck on Patreon lab for the last season, uh, because we just, we, we had to and tweets, messages, DMs. What about that episode? We need to see the episode. This one, it's like it had no impact. Like, oh, there's no Recon for Roni today. Okay. Like no one cared. I'm shocked. We don't blame you, buddy.

I mean, despite my complaining, I think this season is better than last season. So, but that's because I thought last season was honestly like abysmal, but, um, uh, I was like, man, this is sort of sad, sad state of affairs. All right, well let's get to it. So, uh, the clueless party. So we get a wacky clueless inspired montage and, uh, Jussells doing, um,s doing a voiceover, you know, copying the clueless dialogue of share Alicia Silverstone describing what's

happened so far this evening. Okay, so you're probably thinking, is this a Lancome commercial or what? But I actually have a way normal life for a New York girl. The only problem is my friend group is a total Monet. From afar we're fabulous, but up close it's a total mess. It's like Povett's mouth after he's had a fried chicken sandwich out of a dumpster from the Upper West Side.

It's worse than the Pismo Beach disaster, which is what I also call Povit. Then we get a shot of Povit and Jessel's closet and it has like a dry cleaning thing that rotates around to show all the different meats that Povit has been reviewing from the fried chicken store and the hot dog stand. They're super rich. And then after that fun, we go to Sai and her husband to a nursery because, well, first of all, Sai is like, God, coffee, you know what? I feel like coffee like sticks to your tongue.

I need gum. And he's like, yeah, after coffee you need gum. I love that we're here for Si realizing that coffee makes your breath stink, because that's a big moment. Either that or all this time she thought peanut butter was coffee. She's like, I don't know why people drink this in the morning. It doesn't wake me up. It just sticks in my mouth.

I also spike people up. I'm literally exhausted from swallowing all of that. So she's like, we swallowing all of that. So we need lettuce, lots of lettuce. Oh my God, this is so exciting. Look at all the stuff that we need so much lettuce. I can't wait to buy lettuce. That sums up this show. People excited to buy lettuce.

Wait, people just have to buy lettuce. I was like, well, now this is what I'm into. It's an accoutrement. If I go to Whole Foods one more time and spend $400 on three bags of groceries that look nothing like my fridge, I'm not gonna go crazy. But for whatever reason, Whole Foods has me in a choke hold. I'm like, because you live in Brooklyn. So you're like, you're like the moment you cross over that bridge, you have to swear an oath to only purchase things

from a Whole Foods and flea markets. So not me, I was a I was a C town boy tried and true in Brooklyn when I lived there. I lived right across from a C town. That was my place. I fucking loved it. Yeah, this whole lettuce thing. Also, the Whole Foods observation is true. But I feel like in this economy, and honestly, I know that I sound like a boomer saying stuff like that, and I'm not even a boomer. But I know that I keep saying, in this economy, but seriously, Burger King being $17 last

week has sent me over the edge and I'm never going to recover it. I can't get over that we live like this now. And I went to Whole Foods because I was like, well, fuck it. If I'm going to pay $17 for a for a whatever Burger King, I'm going to go get some all foods. It was cheaper. The salad that I got was cheaper than the Burger King at Whole Foods. That's how upside down we are right now in the world people. Okay, wow. I don't know who does Amazon subsidiaries? Well, apparently

inflation is actually like extremely low. But the problem is the prices haven't come down as driving nuts. Why don't you just drop the prices by the fucking companies will not drop their prices. Well, it's already doubled that nothing in this nothing in the world ever goes backwards. Nothing's like, Oh, hey, let's just start charging $2 for red. Like it's like we're gonna work like it's like with airlines, you know, like when the gas prices are up, like, well, we got to raise ticket prices, but the gas prices go back down. It's like with airlines, you know, like when the gas prices are up, well, we've got to raise ticket prices, but then the gas prices go back down.

It's like, uh, those ticket prices need to come back down also. Nope. Okay. Sure. That's fine. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly. Introducing the best idea yet, a brand new podcast from Wondery and T-Boy about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with and the bolderest takers who brought them to life. Like, did you know that Super Mario, the best-selling video game character of all time, only exists

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Wow, sick tomato burn. She goes, No, I'm not a phyto. I'm all of his in person now. He goes, Oh, you're a Zen tomato. So anyway, this shows really, it's really just like it's operating on all cylinders right now. So I was gonna grow her own garden, because she is sick of paying for Whole Foods. Let me tell you what, pay for whole foods. Growing lettuce is not fun, okay? I've never seen one person on TV.

Actually, I did see one person who was like, I love growing lettuce. It's all I love to do. I grew this kind of lettuce and some romaine over there. It's a baby lettuce here. And he was really, really chubby by the way, which I was like, wow, what are you eating that with? Because I always think of lettuce as,

you know, diet stuff, not just something you eat to enjoy. Well, I guess it's also a blue cheese vehicle. You know, I am setting myself on my own path today, but he enjoyed making lettuce, but I've never heard of anybody enjoying growing lettuce. It sounds horrible. I tried to grow lettuce and it was fun. I did grow lettuce. And, um, here's the thing. You know, I love, you know who loves lettuce more than more than us pests. My goodness. It was like a a fit hotel and then one day it got hot. So then all the lettuce is developed giant lettuce erections. And that's when that happens.

You're like, well, the lettuce is done. You know, they all go to see as they put up these stocks. So the lettuce was a bust on my end. And I would say I would buy lettuce, I think lettuce, when we talk about prices being high, I think lettuce is actually in a pretty good place. So I think you can get like lettuce for a reasonable price. I don't know what she bought a bag of lettuce the other day, it was only $7. I was like, wow, how much could let cost? $14.

But as I growing lettuce, by the way, I made a sauce last night with lettuce and it was lovely. I made a pasta with lettuce because I didn't have spinach was gonna be a spinach pasta. So I use lettuce. So there, a new use for lettuce has been unlocked. So size like, you know, we want to start a farm if it was up to my husband, we'd start a farm. But you know, I'm in New York forever. Listen, if I don't hear sirens and people saying fuck you early

in the morning, what kind of lettuce you grow, bitch? I wouldn't feel safe. You know, I do not do quiet. It's not for me. All right. You know what I do? lettuce, lots of lettuce, so fucking expensive lettuce. Do you think I look like Michael Jackson? And he's like, Yeah, you do sort of look like Michael Jackson. Wrong answer. I was going for Janet. So then she's like, she's saying, Yeah, it's my vibe today. And she's talking about how her aunt is coming into town. She's really excited to see her. Because, you know, and Sophia is like

the best we saw her last season. And how she, um, when she comes into town, she watches the kids, she cooks and everything, does all these wonderful things. But we ultimately find out it's because Sai has decided she wants to get her mom out of the box because she has her ashes in a box in the closet. And it's time to, to move mom's ashes into a more beautiful vessel and put mom on a mantle in upstate New York. Yeah, and she was like, I've had mom in a box for two years, that's not cool. So, you know, we're shooting, let's bring her out.

My mother, we put my grandpa, we put my papa in a box, and then we lost the box. And then my meemaw was like, where's the box? And we're like, oh my grandma, we put my papa in a box and then we lost the box. And then my meemaw was like, where's the box? And we're like, oh my God, cause we had to move her from one home to another home. So we were like moving all day and stuff. And the box was lost. I mean, I blame my mother.

It could have been any of us, honestly. And we had to fake stuff in a box. We put other stuff in a box and just hoped, cause like who opens the box? You know what I mean? You don't go through the box and like, oh, you know, wonder what's in here. It's a dead horse, you know, it's ashes.

So like little bits of bone and stuff. So we're hoping, you know, we were hoping at the time, like, oh my God, hope she doesn't go through the, through the box. But then what if she does like eventually, like forget her Uno card somewhere and she's looking through boxes and then she can't find them. And then she a box full of flour, you know, which is she going to kill us? Don't just leave boxes lying around even if they have your papa in them, you know, like do something better with that.

Yeah, I think that's a good that's a good lesson to take away from that. So yeah, they're gonna do this whole thing. Also don't bury your mom into a tree. You know what I mean? Because if I buried my mom into, if I took my mom's ashes and I put them into a tree every day, that tree would kind of look at me like I was fat. Like every day, it would be like, do you need to eat that? God damn it. Why did I have to do this right outside the kitchen tree? You know, why couldn't I have done it somewhere else? You know,

I should have put her way in the back so she can't she can't fat save me from back there. So now we go over to Jessalyn Povitz and Povit is sitting at a desk and he's got like a like a like smart glasses on, meta Ray-Bans I believe is according to our note taker. And the sort of thing that like no one really would buy these in real life. I bought tech bros and Ronnie. You did I had them? Yes. You know, remember? Okay, so I bought these things when I went to Bravo con because I was like, I want to take those are the glasses you got?

Yes. And I was really bad at, I'm bad at taking pictures and stuff like that. So I was like, if I just record it, then I can go through it later and make a fun video of like the experience and stuff like that. And like the other podcasters and you know, I thought it would be fun. Then when I tell you these things, just blink at people like traffic. It's like having a siren in your face. So every time they're on people are like, Oh, what are you wearing? Are you recording me? So that wasn't fun. So I had to take them off. Wow. It was a waste of my time. And also every time I asked it

something it got it wrong. So I don't really know. I think but I try like, yeah, I think if Google couldn't get it going with the Google Glass, I think everyone should just stop. So Jessel's like, Puff it, are you ever going to take those off? And he's like, oh, no, absolutely not. Puffett, you have dents on your nose from your heavy nerd glasses. Take them off. Well, what's my IQ then? Ask it that. He's like, what's her IQ?

And he's like, Meta said, astronomical. Meanwhile, we hear the glasses, it's like dumb uh, Meta said, um, astronomical. Meanwhile, we hear the glasses. It's like dumb bitch, dumb bitch about to have a, uh, about to have a, uh, clueless party and not even dress like any, any outfit from. Why don't I say dumpy? That's not nice. I love Jessel. Not our sweet Jessel. Jessel is like one of like, she is the breakout star of this franchise. She deserves a better cast. I take that back. I shouldn't call anybody a dumpy word. a better cast. I'm sorry. I take that back.

I shouldn't call anybody a dumb B word. What the hell? I'm just in that kind of mood. You know why it's because we started off with lettuce and dead moms. Sorry. The side stuff has really triggered you. So a puppet is like, well,

Metta says your IQ is astronomical. Yeah, but I don't know about that because I married you. So I think that Metta may not know something about me. So anyway, I think, anyway, who cares? I don't want to talk about this anymore. What are you up to, you stupid person? And Papa's like, just working. She says, well, I have so much to do. I have to plan this birthday. And he's like, well, how's that coming along? Well, you've been used this as usual. And the answer is no, we cannot send out invitations in the form of banh mi. And he's never seen Clueless and she's shocked.

The straight guy has never sat through Clueless. Why would he? You know? And so he's like, it just seems like so old. The movie's like so old. And it was 1995 guys. And he's like, it just seems like so old. The movie's like so old. And it was 1995, guys. And he's like, so, so old. And so she's like, he's more of a Star Wars kind of a guy, like a Star Trek kind of a guy.

He's not cool. So it's very cute, like high school drama and dating, the fashion's ridiculous. It's about Beverly Hills. So they're having a clueless party. I don't care. So she's going to have multiple looks because she share right. And she wanted to do the revolving closet but she can't because it's a party. So she's just gonna have lots of outfits now.

Yeah. And pop it is just like confused by this entire concept. He's like, you're gonna switch your outfits in the middle of the party. Yeah. Why? So I'm giving different looks, Povit. Why not just wear one? Because that's so Povit. I mean, boring. What are you talking about, you idiot? And then she's like, yeah, talking about the revolving closet and everything. And Povit does not understand this. Povit is very much a tech bro and he doesn't understand the world of ladies and tech and clueless and things like that. So what are you getting me for my birthday? It better be diamonds and like Chanel handbags and it better not come from

Chinatown. Povit. If I get something from Betty's Betty's. What was that place? They went to like Betty's Boone or, what was that place they went to? It was like Betty's Boon or something like that, or Susan's Boon or Cynthia's Boon. It's Boon, by the way, I think it's still Boon. You're right, it was Boon. Someone did correct us that like Boon is correct

in Vietnamese, but this was not a Vietnamese restaurant, it was Boon. Yeah, so yeah, she's like, it better not be one of Betty's buns, pop it, all right? And so then we go to Brynn, who's getting her lashes done at Envious Lashes, and she's FaceTiming Gideon, the ex-fiance. She's like, well, I know I'm showing nothing in my life,

so I'm just gonna keep showing this billionaire that I went on a date with a couple of times and sat in a car with last season. I'm sure people are dying to know what's going on with Gideon. Ah! car with last season. I'm sure people are dying to know what's going on with Gideon. Oh, I'm really upset, however, that sugar is not in the chair next to you. Sugar doesn't get pampered enough, I think. Oh, my God. Clem doesn't want to put eyelashes on a dog.

She's already putting eyelashes on this bitch. He's like, I'll be done now. I've put in my five minutes of contractually obligated, charming British time on FaceTime. I have to get back to doing financial things and having tea. Brynn literally spends a hundred percent of her screen time this week, getting stuff done, getting her vanity stuff done. She's like, we have to film? Okay.

I'll get my lashes done then. Then I'll go get a spray tan. So then we go to Aaron and Abe at blank street coffee. And I don't know why that name makes me laugh. And it's just so airy, you know, let's see it at Brett. Let's go to blank street. It's the only place that really gets me. I know there's something about the word blank that really just sort of works with Aaron. She's like, Well, hey, if I has

basketball and soccer and someone has to pick him up at 515 and I'm really hoping that that can be you I went to the zoo today. He's like, Oh, well, that's fair. Ah, I would eat you a little bit work when I get back. Oh, yeah, I hope that work doesn't mean selling my Bitcoin. Oh, wait, you already did that. What do you think I'm going to do is sit around and watch TV. I have work too. And then he puts a straw into his drink and it splatters on her and she's like, are you kidding? into his drink and it splatters on her and she's like, are you kidding?

Ah. This is why people stay married for a hundred years. This right here. Just the sheer joy that's exuding off of the TV. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna change my lifestyle and maybe date. Abe, I can't believe you just splattered me with your coffee from Blank Street.

Are you kidding? I can't take you anywhere oh my god i think we're about to go viral with this clip so uh jenna meanwhile is at her new job because bucket is you know like it's he's leaving soon and um i think that you know knowing he's not going to be here i just have to stay. So I took another job with another company that nobody has ever or ever will hear of. This one was called Covator and I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO of about 37 places right now,

which is great. There's people, white ladies just keep sending me money. I don't even know what I'm doing at this place. I just go in and I say khaki and they all applaud. It's pretty amazing. Okay, team. Nice to see you all. Thanks for making your way in from outer boroughs. So what excited me is am I going to report on the tunnels? I really haven't been in those in a while. So how much are the tools these days? Are they up to $2? So that's more tools or Burger King? Jenna, each of the editors has prepared a couple of pitches. So

then one of them Anna's like, okay, so beauty. So there's women who are traveling to Turkey to get their eye black, their eyebrow implants and it's like, sign me up. Oh my God. What if this job is hilarious? Okay. Who's next? Top that everyone. Someone top it. Jenna, there are women who are traveling to Serbia to get two of their middle toes stuck together. So they are half webbed toes. And we're really thinking of following up on that. Good. Finally, an article that everyone can relate to. Let's go with that one. Okay, great. Who else? Anyone have a good story? Jenna, so there's like this new trend of using

Pajamas as grocery bags. People are doing it to save some money when they buy their $14 chickpeas. What do you think about that? I love that. It's so nice to see chickpeas are finally cheap again. Yeah, go with that story. Jenna, we've heard that women are sick of the gel thing on their eyebrows, which did look a little bit crazy, but we've been getting reports of people poking themselves in the eyes. So we were thinking of moving on into more of a traffic cone shape. What do you mean by that? Well, I think we should actually, we're just going to actually get eyelash glue and start attaching traffic cones to people's eyebrows. You know what? I'm so proud of us. You know, we're women and we're changing the world, guys. And guess what? You can go around me. Am I right, guys? You can go around the traffic. I've got a traffic cone on. I mean,

it's going gonna be great. Jenna, we just heard there is a huge new trend that is happening in northern Estonia, where people are taking the idea of a bowl cut and they're turning it on its head. So gold bowl cuts are out in colander cuts. It's like a bowl cup. like a bowl cup. I have little holes in it. I love that. Let's go with that. Who wants to try that?

That is so great. Yeah, a colander. That's so great. So basically, let's say you're at home and you're trying to move milk from a big carton into a smaller carton. You just pour it on top of your head and just, it'll come out your mouth, Jenna.

It'll come out your mouth. That is such a good idea, everybody. God, I'm glad to be here. Okay. I'm sorry. I've got to go to my other job at Provocatiz. Okay. So I'll be over there if anybody needs me. By the way, did I use up my khaki idea here? No? Okay. Great. Thanks, guys. I'll see you in about a month. Just suit me back a sec. Actually, my favorite part is that amongst all these picks, pitches, one person goes, okay, I have a culture pitch. There's kind of a burgeoning clown community in Los Angeles that's happening. And I laugh because my cousin said the exact same thing to me last month. She was like, wait,

do you know that there's like a burgeoning clown thing that's happening in LA right now? There's like a clown comedy scene. I was like, what? Yeah. I'm seeing a clown show tonight. I was like, what? Yeah. She's like, it is. She's like, it's like a really cool. It's like a new kind of clown thing. Well, when I first moved here years ago, I knew a girl who took circus classes. I mean, that was a big thing where people would take trapeze class and stuff like that. Um, but I didn't know it was, it had fully evolved into clown.

It's like, it's our clowning. Um, and uh, yeah, uh, I was speaking to someone a few months ago and I was like, how was your assistant? And they were like, Oh, I wish she could be here, but she's taking clown classes. So I'm like, something's going on. Something's going on with the grounds right now. Finally, clowns are breaking through. I wonder who like the, the breakthrough clown was everybody's like, that's what

we should be doing because clowns have been trying this shit for years. And I mean, for as long as I remember, people like, oh, clowns, clowns are scary. Clowns are gross. I've never been in a time where people are like, wow, clowns, respectful. And now suddenly to hear someone must have trailblazed that shit and made it cool. Yeah, I think it was, I think it was Pennywise, right? Pennywise did it because Pennywise also trailblaze, uh, pronouns for clowns.

Literally it it's like, what are your pronouns? Come on, guys, you're totally changing Instagram bylines forever. Just it, it works in all. You don't even need to have a second after the slash. It's not he, him, it's just it. It's slash it. That's some funny shit. It is Halloween.

Yeah. So I just reflect. She's like, guys, you know what? I really want to make a move including people. I'm like, okay, you know what? I really want to make a move including people. I'm like, OK, you know what? You and every serial company and every, I get it. But it's just like such a buzzword now. It's like, OK, you know what, guys?

You know what we want? Inclusion. OK, I want a person of every color. I want a person of every faith. And I want people who love planes and people who like buses instead of planes. Can we get that? And all of them unite with genes. Okay, let's just get that.

Let's get plane people and car trip people united with genes, but I want them from different countries too. It's like, oh my God, come up with some gene. You know, come up with some new pamphlet shapes. That's what I say. Anyway, we now go over to Raquel, who is at UBA's apartment and UBA is saying how she invited Raquel over because she wants to get to know Raquel a little bit better. And she also wants Raquel to have a better impression of UBA because she's like, yeah, I kind of freaked out at the Hamptons.

So, so UBA is UBA showing Raquel all the artwork that she's made. And she's like, I did it for me because I'm so passionate about color and every time, everything in my home, it has to come from so much joy. I want to paint when I'm like laughing and dancing and stealing coconut milk from restaurants. That's when I'm happiest. And I'm sorry, actually, nothing is on. So they're looking at it. And Raquel's like, Oh, wow, no, this is nice. I mean, it came out of you. So anything that comes out of you is art. So this is really beautiful. I would only get about $5 from it. But it's beautiful, beautiful art.

Did you have all that art last year? I don't remember if she had like a lot of art that she talked about painting. It does sound familiar. I don't remember. I don't remember. I actually liked her art. I thought her art was pretty nice. Well, I'm just asking because she's like, well, I couldn't hang it because there's water damage. And so I had to clean up. So it's not hanging. But just the idea that an art dealer is coming over and you're like, you know, that shit out of the closet and put it everywhere. You know, here comes in. Yeah, exactly. Like bring out your finger painting. So you know that Raquel has to deal with this every single time she goes over to someone's house like, look at this painting that Charlie made. I can't believe he's only five. It's like real art. Don't you think? And you know, Raquel's like? Yeah, well, it's really beautiful.

It came from Charlie's heart. So that's art. If you want me to say I could sell this for $10,000, I probably can't. But you know, good job, Charlie. Keep at it for 20 years. Let me tell you what's free. Calling something art.

You're welcome. You're welcome. It's what I could give to you. So anything else and she's like you know, they talk about when she started painting and stuff and There's a flag that she painted that's a black and white with white Dots or something. Is that what it was or like white stars or something?

And the other says we know they're gold because she she thinks she sees all these gay people who have never slept with women. That's funny. That's a that's a good flag, actually. So yeah, she says that basically, this country, if so many people see things in such a black and white way, but what she sees is a country full of gold, there's so many wonderful things, she doesn't have to have a bodyguard. No one stops to check your passport when you when you travel, there's actually so much freedom and that like immigrants she says you know immigrants

come here and we are so happy to be here so she's like don't fuck it up for us. So then she starts talking about modeling and her path through modeling as she came to New York. And Uba and Raquel bond over what it's like to be a person of color modeling and how Uba didn't realize she was like a token. And or that sometimes they just wouldn't cast her because she was black. And she just thought, oh, well, people are busy or people are booked. And it took her a while to realize, Oh, shit, there's like a lot of racism in fashion and all over the place. And then they talk about the Hamptons. So we finally get to the Hampton stuff. And so it was like, you know, that breakfast

that breakfast took a different turn. But the night before when people were sleeping, Brynn was talking to me condescending then too, like, Oh boo hoo, you're so beautiful. But you know what? The way you act that they're going to edit you like an angry black woman. And Raquel's like, yeah, I don't know what Brynn is thinking saying that, you know, because Brynn is the one who triggered Uba into acting that way in the first place.

And then she's like, oh, now you're behaving in a way that can make you look like an angry black woman. And that's not cool. Yeah. She says it's manipulative, which is a good call. It totally is. So Uba feels like Brynn wants to set her up,

and Raquel is like, yeah, so, then when you let us all know how you were feeling and then Brynn wanted to respond, you felt she was just going, she's like, I had no interest in what she was going to say. Yeah, sometimes you have to have that conversation with each other, though. She's like, Absolutely not. Not for someone who does things intentionally. Yeah. So then we go to one thing, I just want to say one thing. I just want to say one thing.

Raquel is like, hey, you know, we're all friends here. Like, you can't just like, let shit hang in the air. And then you're just like, stewing and brewing and you're going to explode. Get it out. I'm like, no, Raquel, that is the way the show works. Sewing, brewing, explosion. That is the path we're looking for here. Not healthy interactions. Come on, Raquel, you're on TV. No, I think the Housewives is about like, I have a problem

with you, you get it out and you argue about it. And then if it's not resolved, then you argue about it again. Then you start turning people against each other. You don't sit on as boring, especially something little, you know, I mean, I don't know, I'm thinking of Salt Lake City, they'll just be like, they take that shit immediately. It's like the next time you see them, I heard you said this shit about me. She just told me in the car on the way over. It's like, damn, how

did you find out already? Well, guess what, we are now at your favorite scene, Ronnie, we're at size house in upstate New York. And we're there with Sophia size and and they're at the's house in upstate New York, and we're there with Sophia, Sai's aunt, and they're at the house and everything, and walking around, and Sai's showing her the whole upstate house that she bought, and how they're like renovating it,

and Sai is moving stuff into the house very slowly, one piece at a time, because she only wants to put stuff in there that she really, really cares about. one piece at a time, because she only wants to put stuff in there that she really, really cares about. Yeah. So then they go to Mary Mom, and it's sad. You know, it's a touching scene. And so she's, Sia's saying, you know, I want my mom to be part of nature. I want her to be part of nature. I mean, who knows? One day she could be ahead of Romaine. You know what I'm saying? Because we're going to build some great Romaine out here. And she's like, you know, I could come out here and just just kind of be

with my mom and stuff. And Sophia cries, which is super sad. And they you know, they give a nice send off to the mom. Yeah, they they they say nice things and they they put the ashes and then and then this and Sophia has like the ashes all over her hands and starts hugging everyone and starts like, Come on,ia has like the ashes all over her hands and starts hugging everyone and sounds like come on you're getting my mom all over everyone's everyone's outfits and then they're laughing and they find the joy in it and um you know it's it's sweet and it's sad so they've moved on and yada yada yada so now we go to jel who is shopping and and then Aaron shows up and Brynn is there and Brynn's like

He's there shoplifting. Hi. Oh my god. I love they're like hosting a clueless party. And do you know why? And Jessel's like cause duh. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And so Aaron's like, I saw on Instagram that Cy and Jenna were together. So now what? They're like best friends. Or there are people on a show that

they're allowed to about socialize. Why are they not allowed to be friends? Weren't you weren't you guys the one saying last season that side needed to chill the fuck out and try and be friendlier and now she's like, she's being friendlier. So Britain's like, Oh my god, now they're friends. I'm glad to help with that relationship. She I mean, it's just so bizarre.

I can't stand the fakeness. I'm so sorry. I just can't. I like actually don't even want to be friends with Jenna right now. Like this is who Erin is. This is the sort of person Erin is. Like she will just like throw a friendship out the window because she just sees something on social media. She's like, I am going through such a hard time. She knows that she does not reach out to me once. She's not asking me once how I'm doing. Yet she has time to go out with someone who according to her has sold all of New York City that

she can't stand her. If that's the kind of friend she is, I'm good. How about the kind of friend that you are, which is that when Jenna has reached out to you in the past, you put all her shit out there for everyone. You made her seem like a total snob for flying business and not flying with everyone else the last trip. And then with the Uber thing, you went and told everyone that she hasn't paid you back. And now she's not going to pay you back out of spite because of you. So like, why is Aaron's acting like, oh, she's like an amazing friend to Jenna Lyons. And like, she can't believe Jenna Lyons is not being amazing friend back. It's like, I don't know, I think you should go back

and look at the tape. And also, she'd fall asleep. Like, she's already had to live this. Don't watch. Yeah, if you're gonna go back and watch the tape, don't do it while you're driving. We've seen it. Trust me. But also her whole argument here, according to her, Sy was saying to everybody that she hates her,

Brynn was the one that did that. You're talking to Brynn right now, the girl who spread that literally everywhere. So what are you mad at Jenna for? She's just the one who refused to get mad at it and foiled your plan, which you were gonna try and start a fight with Jenna and Sy and that didn't work.

So now you're gonna try a fight for for yourself and Jenna and that's not going to work either. Find something better to do. Go get a personality. You are seriously bottom of the barrel at this point. This is rough. This is rough. Well, Jenna is going to get an earful from me.

I will literally march over to Jenna's right now and be like, are you fucking kidding me? Also, I'm wet. I'm gonna go tell her, you know what, how dare you be cordial with somebody and make amends with somebody that's crazy. I spent all day making a man with a man named Gideon. holes in your hair. It's a colander cut.

So Erin is like. Why is milk coming out of your ears? We haven't perfected it. You really have to go to Estonia to do it right. That's what I've learned. So Erin is like, I mean, so by the way, Brynn, how do you feel like, you know, you're gonna see everyone tomorrow? I don't care. Like, I love you guys. And I love Jenna. And like, but like, it has been

like crazy. And I'm like sick of like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like we are grown women living in New York City. And we don't act like that. I mean, like, and she needs to apologize to me. I want a fucking written apology. And then, um, Sy is telling Jenna at lunch or whatever, that she sent a message in the group chat apologizing for the raised voices at the rooftop. And then she sent Bren a separate text apology and Bren left her on read. So yeah, Brian, you already got your apology and it's written down. So it's not like you can deny it. So we got back

to her and she's like, yeah, she's like, I'm trying to give her grace and I want to hear people's feelings because it's 2024 and I watched Gen Z TikTok and I will honor your emotions and I will apologize. But do not call me Satan in my face and tell me to shut the fuck up. Do not, and I'm done. And like, I'm done playing nice. You've never played nice.

All you do is go try and ruin everybody's friendships and shit stir. And the second you get called out, you go fucking cry about it. Give me a break, lady. When people, when the entire audience likes Psy more than you, you've really stumbled. You've fallen and you can't get up.

You need to press that little button on your neck. Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up. Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up. Get him on my back. They're like, ma'am, are you having an emergency? Are you having an emergency? Are you having an emergency? Are you flirting with me over your life alert? Maybe. What are you wearing?

We've got somebody on the floor on her back. She's calling us on her back. How dare you say I'm on my back? That's shaming me. You just said it, ma'am. You just called us. Ma'am, unfortunately, we can't save you. There are too many stairs in your building. So, I like that, by the way, I like that Brynn has this amazing revelation.

You know what? I'm starting to generally now think Sai is a miserable person. I'm like, did you not watch your first season? Where have you been? I do just pay attention to things later. I'm like, did you not watch your first season? Where have you been? Do you just get into things later? I mean, what is it? What is your personality? She's like, she wants to make other people miserable. Well, it seems to work because you two are fucking miserable. You're sitting here being miserable for no reason. You're shopping for a clueless party. This is like one opportunity for you to actually have a good time. I'm like, I'm so miserable because I had lunch with somebody. I know Brynn. Brynn and Erin are so bothered by the single Instagram

photo of Cy and Jenna having lunch. So Jessel's like, by the way, you said that the couch like opens up and swallows you. Is that what we're trying to go? Trying to go right now? Wait, what? What? Why did Jessel say that? opens up and swallows you. Is that what we're trying to go, trying to go right now? Wait, what? Wait, why did Jessel say that? I don't know.

I think she's just stressing out because they're bitching about how miserable everybody is. And Jessel's like, I'm having fun though. You know, Jessel's like positive. She's like, I don't need this with you weirdos. So then we go to a Jessel's party and Jessel's like, everything is how I envisioned it.

Pink balloons, alcohol flowing, candy, candy, candy, Povit not speaking. It's amazing. It's fat with a P, which would be Pat, wouldn't it? I've never really understood that, but you know, English. So there's balloons that say things like, rolling with the homies and stuff like that. And Povit also sings.

Rolling with my homies. I don't get it. I don't get it. Oh, Povit, be quiet. Could someone throw these stupid glasses out the window? So, Jenna arrives and Jenna's pretty funny. Jenna is dressed as Cher's dad. She really leans into it. She's like doing the whole Cher's dad stick,

the entire party, she keeps handing out like little subpoenas. And she's like, I had never seen Clueless. And so I had to watch the film. And I was just like really scared that I was gonna involve like climbing up an indoor mountain climbing thing. And I got really scared,

but it's not about that at all. I don't know why I thought that I just sometimes just get scared with that teenagers do that all the time. And I realized all the girls were just going to be like short little skirts. So I was like, I don't want to do that. So I'm going to dress like Mel, because I love Mel. Yeah, I just basically I don't want to watch a whole movie. So I just turned it on. And then I went with the first person I saw wearing pants. I just turned it on and then I went with the first person I saw wearing pants. I'm a big Dan Hedaya fan. I had one.

So this was great for me. The day ahead tonight, am I right? So she's walking around like, I am doing business. I am so upset. I have a daughter. And so Jess was like, this is one of my four outfits having nothing to do with the movie. I would know.

I just, I love Dan Hadai's pants though. God, very talented pants. Very good. Is anyone else here going to Hadaikan? No, just me. Okay. The best thing about those pants, they were inclusive pants.

God, I love some inclusive pants. So Jessel is like, yes. So, um, Jenna fucking lions. Oh, I'm being, I'm getting sued. Oh, what? Cause I guess her subpoena says like, you're getting sued or I guess it's not subpoena. It is subpoena. I don't know. Serving with paper. She's serving everybody Christmas tree, whatever. Zaddy. Did I do that right? Everyone's showing up and they're like, as if.

That's like a daddy, but with the P. Patti. So people are showing up looking vaguely like clueless, but then Rebecca, Rebecca Minkoff, who works in fashion, shows up wearing all black with a headband. They're like, Rebecca, I don't know if this is exactly a clueless look for you. And Aaron's like, you're Josh, you're just very much Josh. You're like a dorky weird Jew. Wait, oh, who's she talking to, Brabe?

And then Abe's like, I don't even need to pretend, okay? And so then someone else, they're like, come here, you should have won a flannel. And Aaron's like, he almost did, and I told him no. Well, see, what are you being such a party booper for? This is like a flannel, this is like the time for flannel. How do you not allow Abe where to wear flannel? Oh, oh, and maybe like I suggested flannel

and probably because put your foot down, man. Put your foot down. Good luck. Get it stopped on. Yeah, exactly. Well, this is the punishment. Aaron is punishing him for the bitcoins still. It's like, well, you took away my Bitcoin. So I'm gonna make your clueless costume a little worse. No flannel for you. So then Aaron's asking Jessel what she's gonna do on the

actual day. She's like, well, I was hoping to have surprising gifts that didn't smell like fried chicken. Why would they smell like fried chicken? Because my last gift was actually fried chicken. So I texted Parvath, I hope you're surprising me. But then he sent me a text and said, what do you want for your birthday? So I guess that's not going to work. I mean, Saks delivery is at least five days. Bergdorf is at least a week. I mean, Net-a-Porter, is that what

it is? Net-a-Porter? Net-a-Porter? I don't know. It's $25 to deliver and he's not going to spend that. So then Rebecca's like, well, what if he's doing like a really good job of pretending like that it's all happening, right? Right? And Jessel's like, but I would doubt he would. Yeah, my philosophy on holidays in general, that they are I'm sorry, this is Povit. Sorry, that was me doing my life, impersonation of my wife. My philosophy on holidays in general is that they're all BS created by the greeting card industry. So don't get me started on Valentine's Day. With all these damn holidays, you got there, how many gifts you have to buy, it's a waste of money. The only holiday I'm going to celebrate is any holiday that Elon Musk decides to start. Other than that, no holidays for me.

So yeah, that's not going to work. You don't believe in holidays. You have a wife who needs gifts. So, you know, you may not believe in holidays, but do you believe in love languages or not getting your ass kicked? I don't know. Choose your belief, but buy some gifts. Fucking beliefs have no effect on what I expect from you on Valentine's Day, sir. Thank you. So Jessel goes up to Uba. She's like, can you believe I'm going to be 41? I'm entering my 40s to marry to this idiot. And he was like, yes, but you look like you're 20 and are you wearing another outfit oh god i have so many that are not from this movie i can't wait to show you

yeah and it was like i didn't have anything to wear you know did uber dress up i don't remember she's sort of kind of a few she sort of had like she was wearing something that's like tweed sort of plaid it sort of like alluded to clueless. No, there were very few people who actually dressed like clueless at all. Si was like the only one. Si and Brynn were the I think the closest one side looked exactly like Dion. She had like Dion's outfit. It was like crazy how she walked in and I was like, Oh, that's Dion and I haven't seen clueless in several years, but she got a

soap like on the nose that like my brain immediately like went to that place. And then Brynn was the only one who actually wore like colorful plaid. I was like, how do you, how is no one here wearing colorful plaid? That was the whole thing of a movie. It was like, what was the other show? What was the other housewives that did Clueless? They did a Clueless party and it was actually pretty good. I actually don't remember at all. I don't remember. Wow.

The time machine. I have no idea. So, so then, you know, they're talking about Jessel's outfit changes, because that's what she's bringing to the table this year. I changed my clothes a lot. So then Raquel arrives with her fiance and let's see. Oh yeah. Raquel is wearing also a replica of Cher's Calvin Klein outfit but that didn't that was like that was also very accurate but for some reason for me I didn didn't remember it, so I was like, okay. Sorry, Raquel, you deserve credit too, Raquel.

So then they're making small talks and stuff, small talk about outfits and stuff like that. And so then Jenna and, not Jenna, Brynn and Erin get to being nasty as they do. And Brynn's talking about the orders or whatever. And Aaron's like, I mean, like my friendships are about authentic connection. Can we eat the orders?

Like how did that, there's not even like a segue into it. Cause Sy's like, what's going on between you two? Cause Aaron's just sitting there making shitty comments. Jenna's walking around trying to make people's laugh. Make people, what is wrong with me? And Aaron's watching and Sly says, who's she on the phone with? And Erin's like, I don't know. She annoys the shit out of me. And she goes, what's going on between you? She's like, nothing. I just realized she's not an actual friend. You are the betrayer of this group. You have not, there's not been one person on this show that

you haven't thrown under the bus for literally no reason. Yes. Psycho. I don't even want to call you psycho because I would give you, that would suggest more personality. At least psychos are fun. They get movies made about them. Also can you imagine the balls to be like sitting with sigh and being like, yeah, I'm

mad at Aaron. I'm mad at, I'm mad at Jenna because she hung out with you. Like really? Packing eggs. So you two were very close. I'm growing lettuce. And Erin's like, I don't know. I'm not interested in having a friendship with her. And so now Erin's sorry.

Yeah, go on. No, no, go ahead. Erin tells us my kids drive me crazy. And then, you know, like, she's talking about how like, you know, like, go ahead. Aaron tells us, my kids drive me crazy. And then, you know, like she's talking about how like, you know, like, and then my mom, you know, my mom is sick. And then, you know, I'm not able to rely on my husband during this time. It's like really messed with my head. And that's what I need. My friends to band together for me.

And I just I need some grace, which I don't get. She keeps saying that she needs great. I know. I'm sorry. Britain was the other one. No one's giving you shit. No one's giving you shit. You have people have to be giving you shit or you have to be doing something for them to be giving you grace for it. Nothing is happening. No, everyone's giving you grace. Literally everybody is being nice to you. You're cuckoo. What are you talking about? Erin and Brynn both asking for grace. So I was like, well, that makes me sad to hear. I mean, if I had been listening, but I wasn't so have a great party talk to

later. Get back to me when you figure out how to get with romaine seeds. So then it was like, I'm going to break this party. So she goes over and she's like, so this is about Jenna. Are you guys okay? And then she's like, no, I'm just like, fine. I'm like great friends.

Like I'm good. Like I just don't even want to invest time and like trying to be friends with her. And she goes, but does she know that she's like, no, I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to make a drama off on the side. Everybody's like, No, I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to get drama off on the side. Everybody's like, Oh, my God. It's like, you know, she probably doesn't realize. Just yeah, well, she probably has no clue. And then they showed Jenna like with her fake cell phone,

like taking a drink, like having fun in her costume as if like, Oh, my God. Look at Jenna Lyons. Look how self-involved she is. She's having fun in her costume as if like, Oh my God, look at Jenna Lyons. Look how self involved she is. She's having fun at a party. That's not allowed. Like, it's okay. It's okay. She can have fun with her costume. So Brin's like, Oh, by the way, um, oh, sorry, Aaron's like, yeah, the friend that Jenna was to me when we were close is the friend that I need right now. And I feel like I was that friend to her except like the shitty version.

It's just not reciprocated. Not cool, man. Really? Cause all we've seen from you is that you try and start fights with Jenna and the other women. It's been two years in a row now where you try and this disher behind everybody's back to make everybody not like her. So I don't know what this close friendship was, but I think

you're full of sand lady. So Brim's like, um So I don't know what this close friendship was, but I think you're full of sand, lady. So Brynn's like, Oh, I heard something very edgy. Am I yesterday? I was a gentle and Aaron. Of course, of course. She can't keep one thing to herself for more than two seconds.

And she's like, yeah. Aaron was like, sign Jenna our friends now. And all I said was I'll talk to Jenna. So now I'm talking to Jenna, right, Jenna? Am I talking to you? So I'm on a phone because I'm talking to Jenna. Right, Jenna? Am I talking to you? She's like, I'm on a phone because I'm like in an 80s movie and I love pants. So if you become buddy buddy with people that are mean mean, I will not be happy happy and there will be no more sex. Jenna was like, I appreciate that Brynn had a direct conversation with me.

I don't love the fact that Erin backdoored it. I didn't say it to me, to my face while I was holding a fake phone. So Brynn is like, you know, it's fine. I don't want you to be in the middle of anyone, but I want to be in the middle of you and another lady. So Brynn teaming up with Erin to bring down Jenna, but Erin's not doing it quick enough, so Brynn's gonna try to speed it up

and look like she's so innocent in this whole conversation. This is so messy. So then Jenna's like, I'm cautious. I mean, I'm always cautious, always. I mean, I haven't put like a, a pop socket on the back of this gigantic phone, really don't want to drop it really against dropping phones. I hate that.

It's just such a waste. So then Rebecca and Raquel sit down with Jenna and Brynn. Rebecca's like, hello, Danny, make me a deal. And Jenna's like, okay, you got to get in my schedule. And Jessel's like, Oh, look, this is a nice little foursome of people here. And Jenna's like, yeah, well, by the way, when's your next outfit change? I'm really excited for Jessel.

She's like, soon, soon, stay tuned. Jessel change coming right up. So then Brent's like, oh my God, I really hate the outfit so bad, but I fucking love it. Cause you're out of your goddamn mind. And, um, she's saying that Jessel's really camp. She's like a head camp counselor.

Hold on. Waiting for applause. Hold on. Let's get a commercial break and see if we can get a break from it. The closest thing to camp this show has had in a while. So Rebecca is like, that's what this show needs. He's a camp counselor. It really does actually. He's like Ann Burrell. So Rebecca is like, Rebecca's like, okay, I'm gonna get a drink, Danny. And Brynn's like, are you getting a real drink? She's like, no, you're gonna get, well, you're,

you just want me to drink. That's like your goal. And Brynn's like, yeah, okay, look, I'm not like a frat guy. I'm not gonna be like drink, drink, but if you like wanna have a half a glass of chard and then like a little fricking drink, like you're doing, let's get on your virgin bed. I don't like when people have that on me.

This makes me so mad, not mad, but sad when people are like this, because I haven't been drinking for a few years, as you know. I mean, I do still drink sometimes. I didn't go completely sobes, but I used to drink a lot. So I've kind of slowed down with that

and people's reactions are so weird. And people who act like Brim, and there are a lot of people who act like Brim, we're like, what? You're not, why? Is everything okay? You need to, you're so boring. Have a drink. Come on, it's gonna hurt you. Why aren't you having one? You

guys look like fucking addicts. You look so sad. It makes me sad for you to watch this. Like this poor woman has nothing. Like she literally has nothing. Get it together. Okay. I think sometimes people don't need to drink. There's something about Rebecca that is like triggering Brynn. And I think that like, when Rebecca doesn't drink with Brynn, like Brynn takes that as a rejection. I think that's usually what when people get like that, they somehow feel

rejected. And there's like nothing to be rejected about is just like, oh, they don't want to drink, or they don't want to drink right now, or they don't want to drink with you. It's like, it's fine. It's not. It's not a rejection. But Brynn, like this steps on something inside of her. And she's like, Wow, but like, I know everyone that you actually drink, but you just don't drink with us. So Rebecca leans in and goes, I'll drink with you. But not tonight.

I think it's also that people think if you're not drinking, you're judging them and thinking they're an alcoholic. Exactly. You know, which isn't true, but she's acting like one, acting like this, like so desperate. It's weird. So, yeah, so Brynn's like, you're a boner killer.

And so Rebecca's like weird, bye. So then, and also I think Brynn really, she goes, everything's always womp womp with her. It's like where fun goes to die. Really? Cause you have not been fun. So are we going to blame that all on the new girl? Because you've done nothing.

And then we get the Rebecca montage, which is her saying, you know, I do have a little bit of a pigeon toe. And then, you know what? You need local honey. And then I was worried this headband makes my nose look bigger. Did you know you have to rotate your tires?

And Brin's like, she's so boring. I can't, I can't. So then Brin of course goes up to Raquel's fiancee, and Mal is like, oh, look at this sex monster. She's like my new Jenna, basically. Sorry, new lesbian for me. God, this act is so exhausting. So then Raquel's like, I'm cool with it.

She's like, I have nixpies, am I right? So Erin's like, oh, Dessal's having a clueless party, yet she's wearing nothing from the movies. I'm not friends with her anymore. I need friends who will like dress like Cher. I'm going through it really rough and not one person has come up to me and said, Hey, have you had any birthday cake? How's your haircut?

Not even one single closeted gay male has befriended me and taken me to the mall and made me sort of fall in love with him before someone had to tell me he was closeted gay. Like I'm really upset right now. So then Jessel comes out in a new outfit, and everybody's like, wow. And then, and Pava goes, wow, someone says, she looks beautiful. And they go, how do you know Jessel?

And Pava's like, I'm married to her. They go, oh, wait, you're her husband? Seriously? Wow, you can form sentences. That's great. You're not like, seriously? Wow, you can form sentences. That's great. You're not like her description of you. It's weird. I thought you'd have a lot more chicken grease on your mouth,

but you're not shiny at all. You're not walking around in your underwear, which is really weird. So you don't have mayonnaise coming off the side of your lip. Although that girl does have milk coming out of her nose. Sorry, we haven't perfected it. We haven't perfected it yet. So then, the colander.

The colander. So basically, so Brynn is asking about like, when is the cake and you know, like just as I guess, I guess Brynn has the, Brynn wants to go, Brynn needs to go and just like, but I didn't even do my cake yet. And she's like, yeah, but like, look, you've got all these other people. So it turns out that Brynn has a spray tan that she needs to get at 940 at night, which I believe she, I firmly believe she booked that so she'd have an excuse to leave the party

that she didn't want to go to in the first place. Yeah, but like make an effort, you know, you're at work. So then she was like, you know, like I don't need to stay around and for like Jessel's 19 millionth outfit change, I try to turn people against Jenna and I'm done. Happy, you know, happy fifth birthday. Jessel's 19 millionth outfit change. I tried to turn people against Jenna and I'm done. Happy, you know, happy fifth birthday. I mean, 41st. Kim kills her out.

So Jessel's like, no forewarning of the spray tan. No heads up. I'm fucking pissed. So she leaves and everything and Jessel like it's just there's a Jessica's Jessica's let's you know what with Brynn let's roll that track. What's it called? Oh, you're so vain. Like wow, what a great hip current reference to go along with this party. Try to have done a 90s song. So Psy comes over Psy, Aaron and Uber and Raquel are all talking and as Psy is like, look, I want everybody to be friendships. We're good, but not best friends. And it was like, you don't need to be a preacher and Raquel goes, wait, who's not friends? I'm sorry. I'm new here. And they're like, I just feel differently about Jenna was like, you don't need to be a preacher. And Raquel goes, wait, who's not friends? I'm sorry, I'm new here.

And they're like, I just feel differently about Jenna cause like we're not friends. So Raquel's like, wait, you feel differently about Jenna? What? Let's talk about this. So Abe is like, no, I feel like you and Erin, Abe's talking to Jenna now. And he's like, I feel like you and Erin, like there's just an unresolved tension. She's like, God, I feel like you and Aaron Abe is talking to Jenna now. And he's like, I feel like you and Aaron, like, there's just

an unresolved tension. She's like, God, I'm, I'm, I'm great. I'm not like, I'm so like, what's going on? Like, I don't, I don't have an issue. There's tension. I didn't know about this. And Abe is like, I wasn't going to get involved either. But she wouldn't let me wear flannel. So you know, that's fair. let me wear flannel. So, you know, turn about. He's like, you know, it's like, I just I don't like to do I don't like to get messy. But you know, it's all I was really thinking. And

it just came out. She was, you're a lawyer. So he goes, yeah, I guess I should have kept my mouse set. She goes, you're gonna lose this case. I love how unfazed she is. She's like, Okay, idiot. So now I'm supposed to fight with your wife. Sure. Sure, buddy. Okay. I have so many great friends. I don't need to have one that just doesn't feel authentic. I don't want to do that. I just don't feel closer and that's okay. Like, literally no one

cares. And she's just telling this to everyone. Like, it's fine. Like me and Aaron, we're just, me and Jenna, we're just like not close. And that's okay. Like you can be friends with, you don't have to be best friends with every single person you meet. Am I right to like, ma'am, I'm the coat check.

I really don't care about your relationship. God. So then Jenna is saying like, this girl has a phone and a voice. She can tell me if something's wrong. I mean, I think it would be fair to say that I was clueless about what's going on, guys. I just got offered another CEO position.

I'm like hilarious today. Alicia Silverstone actually called me and was like, will you be the editor-at-large for Alicia magazine? It's a new thing. She's starting up. We're going to see how it goes. I offered to start the line of baby bird feeding food where basically we're going to chew up a bunch of pizza and then put it in little jars that you feed to your baby.

I think it's going to be really a great launching pad for my new line of fake eyebrows. They're called Hedaya's. If you want more of a bushy look, I think it's just going to be a really wonderful thing. I'm going to tell everyone I know about them. I know that sounds like already done, but these are for babies. These are for babies.

It's going to change children's fashion forever. So Erin's still going on. So Jenna joins the ladies and hugs Uba and Uba's like, are you proposing? She's like, no, I'm actually serving you with papers. She goes, I'm an immigrant. She's like, that scares me. Don't do that. So then Erin is talking to yourquel now, still going on.

And she's like, it's fine. It's not a big deal. I just can be cordial with her. I'm not like, I don't have to be her friend. It's just not the same. Like after all that, nothing she did to me. Like, how could I forget that? Raquel's like, just talk to her.

So then Aaron was like, Okay, I'm gonna move you sit next to her. So they're doing they're all sitting in this area. And it's like weird. And so now Aaron and Jenna are next to each other. And Aaron's like, I don't know, this is really weird. It's like getting really intense. For you. Jenna has no idea what's going on because this is a brand new thing that you that you that you hard launched this afternoon and now you're like, wow, it's so intense between the two of us. Am I right? Wow.

And Jenna's like, it is it is just, yeah, it's just so are you okay? Yeah. Are you really? Well, like honestly, like perfectly fine. Now, does that mean I feel differently about us being friends? Yes. She's like, uh, okay. And why do you feel differently about that? What's the feeling that you're feeling? What is it? Like I don't really want to be close to you. And Jenna's like, huh, are you trying to stir me up? Are you trying to get a rise out of me?

Because I'm not going to go in for it. And I actually don't want to do this at a birthday party. All I want to do is use some more Dan had to have real play. So Aaron's like, well, it was a rough year. And I felt like I was bonding with someone and I was on a in like a deep way. Like I'm an emotional person. And when I get close to someone. I do it for real. Cause me getting close to you means that I'm going to be there for you.

So that way then I can tell everyone else about the shit that you've been doing and then make fun of you behind your back. Like what don't you get? She's like, wait a minute. And Aaron's like, I mean, I really liked you. Cause like everyone has a certain way with you, but I was like always steadfast. And I like, I was like, I love her. So I would have been with

you till the end. Why are you talking like that? Our divorce you cheat on you. Yeah. It's just like our friendship was so deep. I would have been there too for the end. And as a testament to how strong and how steadfast our friendship was. I'm throwing it all out, throwing it all out the window because he took a photo on Instagram with Psy. That's how it was like, how does that end up being my fault?

She goes, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of the hold on one second. Hello? I'm sorry. I've just been told I'm too boring to carry off Les Miserables lyrics and that doesn't work for me. So sorry. Let's just leave it at the end of the day.

I think you believe what Brynn told you. Like you said it to me. I got another call. Yeah. All right. Oh, man. Wow. What an honor.

The producers of Les Miserables, they're changing the name of the musical to just Aaron. That's Aaron. It's just three hours of me singing about not liking Jenna anymore for no reason. I dreamed a dream that Aaron never took. I mean that January, why are they bringing down the curtains? That is weird. I never would have guessed this place had curtains.

I want to finish this conversation, but there's a hook dragging me off of the stage, so I have a Bitcoin on a cloud. Teckling hacks of the House. Really? Really? Really? That's what you mean the song Keckling Hacks of the House? On my own is not how I got to sell my Bitcoin. So she's like, you believe what Bryn told you, and you've said it to me, there's some truth to it. And she's like, well, yeah, I mean,

there's gotta be some part of it that, you know, people don't like me or whatever. And she goes, well, the truth was that we got in a car that wasn't working and then we had to order Uber. That was the truth part. And then Bryn and I had a four hour conversation in her apartment and she said, I went to Jenna's and you said, oh, you forgive Erin

about the Jeff Lewis thing. And Brynn said, yeah, I forgave her and she felt so bad. And that's when you responded with, that was fast. I still have trouble parsing out all this stuff, Jeff Lewis and the uber and like how these two Concepts are like linked together and like the subtleties that they are like litigating and have been for five episodes so So she's not mad at brand anymore who was the one who was upset that Erin made the comment on Jeff Lewis. She's mad that Jenna said, wow, it was quick that you guys got forgiveness and moved on.

You make no sense. You are ridiculous. You're like an organic apple. I just see it sitting there for weeks and think, how did this last so long? How is it still here? This should have been gone a long time ago. But it's still here. No one does anything. Does anybody see the apples are sitting here?

Why isn't it rotting? Get it out of my kitchen. I was not expecting organic apples to receive a stray. My friend just gave me organic apples that she picked from her own. They're delicious, by the way, and they never go bad. They've been sitting there literally for weeks, and they're still good. I'm like, how are you? They're mocking me.

Like, you could still eat me. I'm like, no, I'm eating fucking Starburst right now. Why would I want to eat real fruit? I want fruit flavors. Well, make an apple pie. That way you can have, like, um. They're delicious, too. Yeah, just take and have a delicious version of an apple.

So Erin was just like, she's like, oh my God. What hurt was that in the subsequent months, it was like you and Brann and like, it felt very fake and very manufactured. I'm like, what? Like this feud that we're actively listening to you in and Jenna's like, what are you talking about? She's like, come on, she's writing.

Jenna is my closest one in the group. Like to me, it just felt like so inauthentic. She was like, I do you, what do you talk about? She's like, come on, she's writing Jenna is my closest one in the group. Like to me, it just felt like so inauthentic. It's like, I didn't do that. She's like, I know, but it started to shift. Jenna's like, look, I barely talked to anyone. I'm in the middle of doing three jobs. I'm trying to perfect my colander hair and I'm trying to be in a relationship and I'm, you know, on fucking full tilt.

Yeah. Well, me too. I don't know if you've heard of a little company called Home Girl. So like it's just like some there are certain people in this group that's like, it's a message, it's a text. But like with you, I feel like I could just be like, that was crazy or whatever, like whatever, it doesn't even matter. She goes, well, I think that it does matter. And we're like, it does matter because you're hurt. You're hurt. That's art. So it matters. That's art. That's art. That's happy. This conversation's art. So like, Aaron's like, I'm not her. I'm good. I just, it just felt shitty. That means you're hurt.

She's like, you know, like because you're hurt. That's why it's what I'm hearing. I don't know if anybody else is hearing this, guys. I think that Aaron has hurt. I'm not hurt guys. It's just that like now Jenna's gonna be friends with this one over here. Jenna's like, you're making assumptions, Aaron, that are not even on the table. The assumptions that I'm friends with any of you people. And everyone's like, Okay, fine, fine, fine. And now Erin launches into yet another monologue.

I sense that Brian's hard to become jealous of my friendship with Jenna at the reunion. And she saw us getting our hair and makeup done and which we which we were doing a lot. And so we see flashbacks of, of Erin and Jenna sharing a room and so like at the dressing room. And so Brynn keeps coming in like, hey guys, what's going on over here? What's up? A trio, right? Okay, I'm gonna go back to my room,

but we can just put in like all of our rooms. Okay, bye. And she was trying too hard to insinuate a real closeness with Jenna in that. She would keep coming in like, and Jenna, am I right? I don't even know what I'm talking about really, but right, Jenna, we're like this.

We like share things, right? Jenna, have fun, Aaron, with Jenna. Bye, Jenna. Love you. I'm not laughing. I didn't hear actually Jenna's joke. I'm just gonna laugh, because I just know it was funny. Hold on, my phone's ringing.

Hi, Jenna. I can't believe you're already calling me. I was just in your dressing room. I'm not calling you. Be quiet, Jenna. You're so good talking to you. Bye, Erin. I'm going to go talk to Jenna on the phone in the other room. Just privacy. Bye. And then Erin starts talking about how she knows that Brynn saw that Jenna was becoming popular and then Brynn took an opportunity to break up a close friendship. It's like, well, I don't believe that the friendship was that close. But also, why are you shouldn't you be mad at Brynn, not Jenna about this? How are you going to

salvage your relationship with Jenna by being mad at her in this situation? And aren't you doing this because you're jealous that Jenna has a relationship with Psy now? Weirdo. What about that? So, uh, Aaron's like I let someone in and I don't always let people in, but I did with you. Oh, for Christ's sake, let me back out. You know what I mean? Like everyone's acting like they're doing you a favor by dragging you down into their drama and their trauma and constant stream of negativity. You're not letting me in. You're locking me in. Where's the fucking exit? Yeah, you're like a stranger things.

Honestly, it's like you are literally the the upside down. It's like, okay, yeah, you let me in. But I didn't. It's not nice in here. Let me out. Thank you guys. The walls are moving so boringly. We're just gonna leave the town. Just give the town to the to the monsters. Aaron, did you kill Barb? So Jenna is like, I just want to say this. I'm a bad foodie. She went to lunch with Cy. So I had to eat her.

Aaron does sort of have Demi Gorgon vibes. So she's like, Jenna's like, happy Halloween everyone, by the way, a stranger things references. Jenna's like, I struggle with, I'm having communication and I struggle with like little texts and catching up. And I just want you to know, if it makes you happier, I will fall on the sword for something I literally did nothing wrong in,

just to make you feel better. And you know what everyone wants to hear as an ex, like I'm gonna try and be friends. She goes, you know what? I'm gonna put this on my calendar and we're gonna to meet up. We're going to figure this out. Whenever I can, you know, get you in there,

we're going to do that. And she's like, it's just that I miss you though. And then they kind of hug. And let's see what else is here. Oh, you know what? My bad. I actually put this on my calendar, not my calendar. So I don't know if I'll get to meet up. Looks like I actually have a conflict. Oh my God, not my calendar. So I don't know.

Actually have a conflict. Oh my god, there's milk coming out of your nose. I know I warned you don't say it in whites. We're working on it. And that brings us to the end of the episode everybody. Wow. Keep working on it. You know, keep working on it guys. We'll be here. keep working on it. You know, keep working on it, guys. We'll be here. There's enough silly. There's enough silliness that's there just have to like, you know, just, just like mix it up. I

think this is I think we can get it. We can get it to where it needs to be. Yeah. But in the meantime, just keep skipping work and go get spray tans instead of actually providing anything useful. You know what I mean? That's what I always say. Everybody, thanks so much for being here for Real Housewives of New York and happy Halloween. You spooky, spooky mother truckers.

We'll be back later on today with some Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. And then later this week on our Patreon is a trailer trash of Southern John, which is coming back very soon. So go check it out everybody we sure love you and we will talk to you next time bye. Ashley Schiavone, she don't take no baloney. We're fanning out for Bethany Fanon. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Dana C. Dana Doo.

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