Watch What Crappens - #2611 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E05: Emo Emma

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Emma gets sadder and sadder on this week’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht and combats it by…sleeping during anchor watch. Danni finally gets frustrated not getting the attention she needs so she is after the easiest pull on the boat…GARY. Gross. Good luck with that! To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin' ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Kill List is a true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. Follow Kill List wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit-see true crumb shows like morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappin! The podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Props.

Welcome, it's election day 2024. He's in sunny Los Angeles and America. We're all doing it. Everybody's doing it, guys. Hi Ben, how are you? I'm feeling very patriotic today. How are you doing? Good. I'm feeling, you know, I'm sitting in my car enjoying my day. That's patriotic. People sawing stuff. Patriotic. America very lowly.

America very lowly. My will is cool. Oh, proud to be an American. Because at least I know I'm lying. Yeah. So everybody hope you're out there doing it. You know, hugs from American to American, no matter what side of the aisle you're on. Just kidding. Please be on the right side of the aisle.

So the correct side of the aisle So The correct side I should say people could misinterpret that I'm just kidding guys. We love you no matter what? Guess what our politics are Bravo. I vote for Bravo president. Okay, probably didn't charge me property taxes. I love them Well, I know it's a scary day for a lot of people in America for for large amount of people which is why we have the privilege of going to Ibiza today for below deck sailing. Ibiza, yeah! Get out of Dodge! A town, you know, when gay rights might be in question, there's a whole place that celebrates the gay accent. Ibiza! we love you. Come for the stay for the Kentucky Fried Chicken.

That's what we learned on this episode. Yeah. Oh God. You know, a lot of people are like, why was Gary acting disgusting being cut out of this season? This is so unfair. Gary has probably been disgusting this whole time, and they're just cutting it out to save Bravo's soul and to save Bravo's internet reputation or whatever. Well, guess what?

Today we got to see Gary eat a bucket of chicken and I can assure you Bravo was not cutting out Gary being disgusting. I, if I wasn't vegetarian already, I would be after this. That was disgusting. Yeah, it really, really was. I have to say, like Gary eating Kentucky fried chicken, that is like the most blah, blah, blah thing

that the chief blah, blah, blah, blah could do. It was disgusting. That's literally how he eats. He eats like he talks. Oh, delicious. Yeah. you. It was disgusting. That's literally how he eats. He eats like he talks. Disgusting. Also, I shouldn't say vegetarian. I should say pescatarian for all the Finding Nemo fans out there who want to stand up for fish. Okay. Get off my jock. So here we are. Oh gosh, Ben just asked me in the video, is this public?

It is. Hello. Hello to the five people watching us. Well, that's fun. Hi everybody. Sorry, we made the public on accident, but guess what? It's, it's our, it's our mistake to you on election day. Okay.

You know, it is. And that's why Ann Claire says, oh my God, a live for below deck. It's an accident. You know what? Who cares? We've done live shows before. You know what? We only have to edit these probably every day now because we say something that we were now that we have the ability to edit these. We're like, you know what? We should probably edit out about one minute and 30 seconds into this podcast. But we're not going to. It's okay. And why? It's special. It's a special day. Okay, let's get into it.

This is actually a very depressing day of Below Deck Sailing because Emma's just so depressed. And she's depressed because she's kind of, you know, left out of the group, but she's kind of left out of the group because she's a weirdo. I'm like, what are you going to gonna do tell somebody to be less of a weirdo? You know? I don't think you're allowed to do that. Yeah, yeah, no you can't. Well you know what? She also has to carry with her the burden of never making it in real estate holding up the martini. Yeah, yeah she is a weirdo. She's not quite fitting in but the other thing that she is is also not very good at her job and that's also the I'm messing up for this low life, you know? Like that's, like, I don't want to be in a position where like Gary has to be the one to teach me how to do things.

I want him, I just want him out of my space. Right, you just want to be, you want to be better than Gary, right? I mean, morals wise, she probably is. So that's something. But also this show, we love when people are bad at their jobs. It's fun to watch and it's fun to like hate them.

I'd be like, you suck at your job. I can't wait till you never work again. I'm going to go write you a review on restaurantworkers.com or whatever you write reviews, serviceworkers.com. But not this one, because you can't even judge her job because she's just not even trying. I think she's just a merciless person. It's like she's not making any attempts at anything. And then she's like, I'm losing the race. You're not walking. You're not running. You're like, what are you crying about? You're not doing anything. You know? So I don't know. It's, it's hard. But then I'm like, but she's depressed. But you know, I don't know. You stopped to

pay your bills. You know what I mean? Yeah. She, she, um, I think she does like to be emo. Like nothing really works out for me. I'm just crazy aunt Emma alone on the sea messing up her life yet again compared to my sister. So the last... Another charm on my sister's sister's failed charm bracelet. She's got a charm for every time I failed really. High school, the GED lessons, driving class, literally everything up until now, real estate still on there. Although I could go back to real estate, but she did buy my bench and put her picture all over it.

I could go back to real estate. I just have to find a martini glass before I do it. It's kind of odd to know that my sister is beating me so much at life and she's currently sitting on my face on a park bench. And my sister just shows up and just like shat me something better. That's the way you do it. Blah, blah, blah, whoever you are. There she is again, better than me at everything. Clink.

Well, there's a lot of charms on your bracelet. Just got another one. Thank you. So we pick up, we're at the club and Emma is having like a small meltdown, a drunken meltdown because she had been questioning the two other girls in the car and they're like, oh my God. And then the girls had told Daisy and then Daisy went up to Emma was like, what did you say to the girls? They're petrified of you, which they were but Daisy exacerbated it and I was like petrified

I don't even know what I did. You know what from here on out. I will not say anything anything at all You know, then her sister shows up and it's like hi girls. You want to be best friends like yes We love you Emma sister You can get involved in our business whenever you want. Also Emma wasn't even even really caring. I don't think about it because she was giving Danny shit. Danny, right? The one who's from Brazil, he was giving no, no, no. Diana, she was like, so Diana, you guys are into each other, right? You and that guy.

And I can totally tell you're into each other. You guys totally have chemistry. She wasn't even really caring about that. She was just trying to say, no one likes me. I'm all alone. Poor me. I'm poor Emma. You know, I didn't go to boarding school, but I felt like that's where I was because I was always sent to, I was always sent to a classroom to sleep while everyone else was studying. Poor sleepy Emma never gets anything right. You know, she's so fucking sad. But yeah, I forgot what

I was saying. I'm sure I'm get a palm. I didn't, you know, my sister go to boarding school and had the entire world opened up for her. And then my parents sent sent me to boarding school. But my boarding school was literally someplace where to go and actually cut out boards out of wood. Very sad. They called it every time someone was assigned a class with me, they started calling it boring school. So I guess I was close. I was already there to save my parents the tech, what do you call it? The tuition. God, I can't even make my can't even tell my stories properly

anymore. Really can. Her sister's like, I can tell the story. She took away all mommy and poppy's money. Ha! Stupid sister. She gets another chomper. He said, better storyteller. So then, um, she, you know, Daisy starting shit for no reason. Like Daisy, get a life. Like I mean, I know that's just such a pet thing to say, but seriously, what are you even doing? She's like, I'm so glad my girls are getting long. Why are you getting along to hate you? They think you're a weirdo hunchback. So she gets really upset. And then she's like, I feel really insecure right now. I've already come off our

charter where I felt like I was doing nothing right. I mean, you weren't doing anything. It wasn't just a feeling. Remember when the boat was banging against the boat? Yeah, that was you. the the Gary, why are you looking the other person's bucket of fried chicken? It's only fun when it's not consent. Really? So then Keith, they're talking about girls and stuff. And Diane and the girls are talking about the boys. The boys talk about the girls. So Diane is like, what is happening with Keith?

And she's like, I'm all for flirting. I'm all for fives, but like, oh, never make the first move. You'll never make the first move. You just hit on the Kentucky Fried Chicken guy and he's a picture on a sign. the listening because this chicken is so good blah blah blah blah blah blah ahhhh so they go back to the yacht and uh discussion on the hot tub begins and Tiz is like I'm going to bat so then David is like hello is captain still

with me I think I'm going to the jacuzzi for a bit you call me jacuzzi is anybody going to the jacuzzi captain captain you are going to the jacuzzi you can blow dry my hair come come captain He's like no, thanks. Yeah 100% not so then Then there are some of them are going up there and so Danny and Keith are sort of snuggling up and Danny's like Like Keith you want to set up those sunlinges and everything's they're getting cozy and everything. And she's like, you're going to be fucking trouble. And he's like, well,

the truth is, I shy away when people come in really hot. She goes, Yeah, but I come in hot all the time. It's like, yeah, it's my way of saying, could you please get off of me right now? Thanks so much. You do come in really hot. But I think we've got very good chemistry. We go together like doctors and white men, not that the Could you just try to flirt with something more exciting than docus? So she says, I've definitely dated a lot of fuckboys and I have an ex boyfriend that was dating my best friend and now they live together. So now I don't speak to either of them.

And it's just shit. So maybe I just need like a super fuzzy, like wholesome, you know, shit like. But by the time Keith susses this out, I'll probably be an old age woman in a wheelchair being the hottest one in the old age home. Yeah. Um, so you're doing the old, like I dated one douchebag, so I'm going to try and date a boring person cause they'll treat me better. But you're suffering from the same issue with both men.

Disinterest. Okay. Go find someone who's interested. And stop just attacking everybody who passes by. Okay. People need to feel special. Like this girl's just handing out flyers, comedy show, comedy show, comedy show, comedy show, comedy show. It was like at the front of Republic. Yeah. Grace. She's like, what's her face? Grace Grace, Lily, be like,

why come on in, come on in, come on into Republic. Yeah. And she's the girl that walks past the comedy person. And then it's like, raised Lily being like, Why? Come on in. Come on in. Come on into Republic. Yeah. And she's the girl that walks past the comedy person. And then it's like, Oh my God, they totally asked me to a show tonight. We're in love. We're totally in love. So then we get a really wonderful scene where Davide is buck naked and he's trying to get into his upper bunk, but he's wasted and he can't get into it. And he like, he sort of like stands he hoists himself up the butt crack the the pixelation is wider than you can imagine and then he's up there and he falls off onto Captain Glenn naked he bends over full

cornhole spread into the camera which was a lot and then yeah he just falls right on top of Captain Glenn. Glenn's just like, you okay there? I did it. I did it. I'm okay. And he keeps going, nearly, nearly, nearly. Like he's like nearly on the bed. He's like, nearly. Here I go, here I go, here I go, here I go. Nearly, nearly. I was like, glad. And then in the morning, Glenn's like, yeah, I remember.

I think you stepped on me last night. He's like, Oh, it's not my fault. It is the fault of whoever designed this bed. Also why are ruffles the way they are? You feel the you feel the air on that thing at three in the morning. There's nothing you can do but fall. Falling captain. Did it did it did it. That was not the music. I was trying to do the Mario music when Mario falls into a pit. Mario not Mario. Oh my God, Mario. So now it's time for a preference sheet meeting. So Glenn's like, Okay, everyone, this is a quick overnight one. We've got Tiffany and

Daniel married couple from Dallas and she's a real housewife and it's Dr. Tiffany Moon who we love made me instantly oh nostalgic for Dallas I think I'm ready for Dallas to come back I would like Bravo to bring Dallas back with Tiffany Moon. What a lovely uh energy of being fun but not trying too hard and kind of paying to be on tv but not coming off as desperate. Yeah, it's interesting to see from a Bravo person. It was because she's so wealthy. She's like, she's fine. And she's like wealthy, but she's also like she has like a major job. So like she really is just like happy. And her husband's like, Well, I don't really want to go on this random one night yacht thing

that'll make Tiffany happy. So I'll just go along for it. Why not? Like that's like this. He only did one night too, because it's like, yeah, I don't need to do that. The whole thing. We're going to spend one night on the diagonal yacht and then we'll spend the rest of it on a motor yacht. Yeah. I can only poop sideways for one night. Can I say something? This is tangential, but related to blow decks. As long as I'm talking about people outside the below deck franchise and below deck. I got so excited the other night because one of my favorite cookbook authors and food

writers is Carla Lali music. I think I've met you before. And I was watching one of her cooking videos. And it was like from two months ago and she was like cooking. She was like chopping rosemary and she goes, you know, a little Rosemary goes a long way. Like for instance, I'm below deck last night, the chef, he just put way too much Rosemary into the dinner and he served it to Gigi Fernandez. And she was not happy.

I don't think the chef is gonna work out. And I was like, oh my God, I love that Carla Lawson music. It's obsessive below deck. It made me so happy that she gave like a mini recap about like Chef Johnno and his terrible cooking for Gigi Fernandez. And I can only, I'm only hoping that she's continuing to watch with bloat exhaling. Oh, I love that.

I love that drama just keeps getting dragged no matter what, you know, it's like, you know, and I'm so finally to be away from all glad to be away from all of that drama was like really getting to me, you know, it's hard to be an architect chef and watch them cooking videos. I mean like one of the most positive people on Instagram is just dragging his ass across. I know he's like I'm you know I'm going to work on my craft at least this is a safe space watching Carla Lollamusic from Bon Appetit and she's like uh Jono what a piece of shit am I right? Anyway, put the chicken cutlet in the pan. I love the idea of cooking shows.

Always having to be positive. Where's the negative cooking? So I want that. I'm going to do a cooking show where it's just like, Hey everybody, today we're going to make popovers. You're going to need flour, butter, eggs, sugar, and salt. Okay. Fuck my next door neighbor, by the way.

Seriously. What an asshole. I mean, have your dog shit in your own yard, sir. All right, let's sit that flower. Carla sort of heads to that place. And she's also, I think, in the process of divorcing. So I think some like bitter notes are coming through, which I love.

I'm with you. I'm like, why not? Why not have someone that's like, fuck this, you know? No, I just assumed she was really positive. I don't really watch her, but I assume she was positive because she her name is Carla Lali music. I know it seems like she well, she is generally positive. She was also really smart and helpful, but like she served her vibe is kind of like, well, I mean, this is just like how I do it.

You can do it the way you want to do it, but like it it's, that's, you don't have to do it that way because it's stupid and I'll just show you how to do it the right way instead. And I'm like, yes, Carla. Yeah, I'm definitely waiting for a chef to be like, okay, this is my recipe. You're going to want to make some changes. And you know what, you should do that.

Here's what you shouldn't do. Come on and give me two stars for a recipe that you changed and then complain that the recipe isn't correct. You motherfucker. Okay. If you're going to make my recipe and review my recipe, do it the way I said it or don't make it. Stop watching my fucking Instagram channel. Yeah, she's not at that place, but she, I mean, she's very encouraging because she'll be like, you know what you can use like cauliflower, but you can also use broccoli, whatever. She's one of those people that's like, you could just use this or this or this or that, which

is nice. But then at the same time, she's like, you people that's like you could just use this or this or this or that which is nice but then at the same time she's like you know everyone says you got to cut it like that and honestly they're stupid just cut it like this I'm like I just she's speaking my language right now you know and she watches below deck it's perfect yeah there you go lover it's time for commercial it's time for a crap in commercial in a quiet suburb a community is shattered by the death of a beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her.

And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is The Kill List, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out, convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow Kill List on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C True Crime shows like Morbid early and add

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You can listen to the best idea yet early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It's just the best idea yet. So then, Cloyce is like, huh, I've met and cooked for a real housewife of OC. She was quite outgoing and transparent with her thoughts. Let's just say that. Then she divorced her husband and became a lesbian.

So Bronwyn, you got your path to Bravo was Bronwyn. I mean, there's always some odd path, right? That they take to get to Bravo. Like we just found out that somebody else has been on, say yes to the dress, that fucking show, say yes to the dress. A million people have been on. It was Carla Lolley music. Oh, it was Katie from OC, Real Housewives of OC.

Oh yeah. Yeah. And you know, I like Katie, but that is definitely the sign of a thirsty person just doing their best to get onto TV, which I guess is the thing now to reality TV. Like let's stop thinking it's so real. So anyway, yeah, his path was Bronwyn. I wonder how long they've been trying to get him on. Yeah, I don't know.

But we also know that he, like he had to cook a big meal that night because she has like 16 children. Well, she's not necessarily random all the time, so who knows. Well, this is true, but it's while she was married. Yeah. Well, she still isn't really random.

People, let's face it. But yeah, back then. And it also makes sense that she's like, you know what I want a 17 year old as a chef. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, that's he was 17. She probably thought him at that fashion show on the ferry that she was that she went to great episode, by the way, the fashion show on the ferry that lady where I We're why can't we get that lady back? That lady was a one hit wonder.

She was wonderful. They should have cast her. OK, so, um, but it's like really traveling the world with your friends on five store vacations. They're hoping this trip will surpass all the ones they've been on before. It won't. They're going to have high standards. They've been all over the place. Surely they'll love this broken down, tilting boat with leaks that can't have a cabinet that closes.

It's gonna be great. Oh, the guests would like professional photographer to capture endless memories before they sit for dinner. For dinner, the guests require a Japanese style dinner. You know, that's what I would like. I'm like, you know what? Let's go to Ibiza and have a Japanese meal on a boat. Yeah. Well, I guess maybe they probably have been in Spain for a few days. So maybe they're like, okay, we need to switch up. So Cloyce is like, yeah, I can do that. Oh, and Glenn's like, we need to pull out all the stops. That means no swimming this charter Cloyce. He's like, okay. So now it's time to turn the boat over.

And Daisy's like, do you want to talk about the charter? And he's like, okay. She's talking to Clois and she's like, well, I think service went really well. And you know, apart from the cake tobacco. So I want you to take this opportunity to be able to show off your skills. Cause I think you could have talent

if you really worked on it. When do chiefs do is talk to chefs like this? That's so weird. I know that that's so Daisy to do that. You know, he doesn't work for you. He doesn't. And he I was surprised he didn't like snap back. But he was like, awesome. Um, that's me. Like that thought. But he can't he can't because well, he was just like, sprawling around like an eight year old in the waves the other day. So he's going to get treated like a little boy and that happens. And then he get like, wow, we just need you to do a better. We're in this together.

And he's like, okay. But also Daisy is someone you just don't argue with. She's like a tax bill. Like, what are you going to do? It's not going to go away. They're not going to change their mind. It's still going to be there tomorrow. Yeah So gary then emma's like rolling up towels in like one of the areas and gary walks up to her

He's like, oh what's going on rolling towels? Um, I don't I don't want you to worry about that Let's get this boat washed that shit can be done. She's like The one thing i'm good at rolling towels, I can't even do it My sister over here, you would see her sloppy sloppy rows. This would be my moment. Of course you take that away from me. I've just loved rolling towels ever since I learned how to throw them in. So she's literally quit every job she's ever had. So Gary's like, all right, here's what we need to do. We need to watch the cockabilly after deck.

I'm sorry, I can't understand what he's saying. Could you take the chicken out of your mouth? So good. So good. So then she just sort of like, like walks away and she's like, oh, she's done. She goes, oh, sorry, I thought we were finished talking. I mean, to be fair, I didn't even see you because you had so much grease on you. the It's episode five, babe. What part of her smoking a cigarette and looking at the horizon while the tender bangs

into the boat says she doesn't have a good workout thick. But there's no motivation there, no drive. Moving forward, I guess if I can't lead by example, maybe if she's, I guess I can lead by example. So maybe if she sees me working hard, she's going to be like, okay, if my boss is working hard, then I should be working hard. the But yeah, I don't think that whole like lead by example thing works because I live in Los Angeles where people lift weights all day and walk around with little butts and I sure don't do it. Trust me, it doesn't rub off. I think that what Emma needs is Gary to say, look, I know it's a lot. I'm coming down on you, but it's all because I know you can do it. And like, I think you're doing a great job. I think she's someone who needs positive re-encouragement cause when she doesn't get it, she starts to spiral.

So he just needs to give some of that and said like, Oh, would you know what, next time, instead of rolling towels, could you be shaming the crumb? Thank you. You know, and then she was like, Oh, I can't do anything right. But it's also just a difference in generations.

You know what I mean? Cause he is so much older where it's like, you didn't have that when he was young. Like when he was learning, there wasn't there, there wasn't like a whole like, how do you feel? How do you feel about how you're being taught today? Is there something I could do better in the way that I'm teaching you?

You know, he didn't have that kind of sensitivity. So he was just like, you do the job and then they tell you to do the job and you do it. Where she's like, you're not inspiring me to learn. But he's like 37 and she's 34. She's just like- Oh my God, really? Yeah.

Well, maybe the sun damage has made him tougher. I don't know, but good Lord, man. Stay out of the sun, people. Whatever you do, Jerry, out of the sun. Good God, what did he make out with this? He probably tried to go up there and Harris the Sun I'm looking like a paper bag that's been wrapped around a bottle of no. He's not before They're the same age. She's 30. Oh my god

Moisturize drink your water take the maps and stay out of that's all save that save that chicken grease and use it to To moisturize. Okay, so Danny, Daisy, no fried chicken to stem cells there. There's your advice for the day you need to instead of Kentucky fried chicken, how about La Roche posé? So then you will call you degenerate but you're literally degenerating right in front of our it's like, please get some cells back. Okay. By the way, isn't La Roche Posey like the funniest name for a product? Isn't that a chocolate? And there's a cheese? No, the Roche Posey is like, I think it's like a soap. What are the people who are watching? Please chime in. Wait, hold on, La Roche Posey. I think I just think it's such a La Roche Posay.

It just sounds so funny because it's like a regular, it's like a standard, you know, it's like I went into, I went into Ulta like a year ago. I was like, I need, yeah, someone, Ann says it's a skincare brand. I went into Ulta and I was like, I need, I want a soap for my face. And they're like, well, there's La Roche Posey that's like $10 or there's this one that's $26 origins. So like La Roche Posey is just like, it's just like a run of the mill, but it just sounds so fancy and but also like cheesy fancy, like it doesn't sound like real fancy, like La Roche Posey like I just think it's hilarious I'm using myself with the

rose posé right now yeah I'd love that for you laughing because people are actually listening to me to have this discussion with myself about La Roche Posé okay so let's. So now we go to Daisy and Danny because Daisy is telling the girls that Danny is going to be on late. So she's like, I don't want to be a dick. But if these guests turn out to be demanding, it's better for the tip, I would say keeping, keeping diet off service. I mean, she needs to be a little bit more soft and approachable and a bit more bubbly. So, you know, she needs to work on that. You know, I just wish that when she walked by, she'd say, Hey, you should smile more to slap her on the ass.

I mean, what are you just turning into a actual fuck man right in front of our eyes? Like, who says that? Like she'd be great if she was cheerier, you know, just gave a little more of a smile. So Dr. Tiffany Moon and her guests arrive on the boat. There's a lot of hello, hello. And what I like you said before, she's not all like, Oh my god, look at me, someone who is on the real housewives. I'm gonna crack a million hilarious jokes

and capture, you know, the hearts of America all over again. She's just like, Oh, hi. Yeah. I'm a practicing. I'm a practicing doctor at the moment. And I've been on yachts before. I'm already like a little out impressed by this, but okay, we can do this. We can, we can play. We can do this. We can pretend. Um, let me see. Where are the guests coming out? I'll see where they get. It's just in these, it's in these three italicized lines. Oh, one hour until guests arrive, guests arrive. Oh, guests arrive.

Yeah, guests arrive. Wow. You really got some meat out of that. Well, because they brought, is this like- No, you're right, I just scrolled over it. You know when things are in italics and I tend to scroll over it because I'm like, not important, that's how I get through.

That's how I read so much. It's the most important. That's why it's a towel size. It's like, just arrive. That's why I always run into walls and stuff when I'm doing a play because I just never read the stage directions. Ronnie, why are you doing this from the eaves? Like, sorry, was I supposed to be somewhere like the bedroom interior bedroom Ronnie. Like, okay, you know what Ronnie's out of the show. Let's get his understudy on. Okay, someone get La Roche Pizzay. Okay, she's on. Parker Posey. She's like, what?

Like, can you give us a little less attitude? Okay, I do not have to. I'm a French Parker Posey. Tonight's production of the Sisters Rosen Swag will future Karla Lali music and the rush pose. So now everyone's taping cabinet shut and stuff. And Glenn saying boat things, you know, he's like the wind is shifted and we need someone to pull out a lazy sheet so we can and stuff and Glenn saying boat things, you know, he's like, the wind is shifted and we need someone to pull out a lazy sheet

so we can pin the hamtot to the can't conk and then you know, we can't lose the wind because if the time is wrong, the can't conk is gonna go under the ding ding and then we're gonna lose wind and the sails we're all gonna die with the mermaids. Back to the mermaids everybody. So it's like very exciting and they're going to do this. They're they're so they're sailing. The sails go up and 50 moons like cool.

We're a little diagonal now. This is great. OK, well, I guess I guess I see the appeal of not being on a normal yacht. OK, let's a little tilted? Cool. You guys do, you're like a regular boat, but you go tilty like, that's great. Wow.

Just one little area that we sit in here or? This is like watching Cameron Westcott trying to drive. It's just sort of feels sort of strange and dangerous. Okay, cool So was there a theme here or is that guy having a bad day? Are you supposed to be sweaty and smelly and scraggly looking because it's failing? Well, hey, it's my theme All right, you like to try some fried chicken. Keep your hands off me, please Okay, well this is cool and so then Glenn's like, well we're gonna attack now we're gonna turn around and get more air we're gonna attack and we're gonna get a lot of sailing it'll

be fun and so they have to do this thing and they need basically whatever it is that they're doing they need Emma to pull some rope and I was just sitting there with the rope she like picks it up she's like, oh well it's not budging oh well. I can't bring any more out at all nothing more is coming out but it's just so much slack the the working, then it wasn't. It was basically like me before my soul was destroyed by nobody wanted to fuck me. And then being told my rope tying wasn't correct. It's tragic. Meanwhile, her sister is like, oh, they're pulling a rope like I think I figured it out. Gary, would you like me to do the rest of this? Her sister standing on top of

the sale like, all right, I'm doing this with just holding my t-shirt out all right I've got it working. The sister's just dangling from a hot air balloon blowing at the sail. Don't worry I got it everyone. It'll be sailing in no time. She even blows better than me. I mean it really explains a lot doesn't it? the sales really, the normal boats, well, you know, not the boats really, buses more like, you know, buses I carry drinks from one end to the other end. I was never really hired to do that, but people always did love their diet soda when I gave it to them. Some of them would get offended, but I would say it's not that I'm saying you look fat. I just

only had the money to buy one flavor of soda until they hire me on this bus. Anybody know anybody on planes? That's where I'm really how I got here. The boats, the boats that I worked on, we didn't have sales. We just had a little section that said mobile orders. You put the coffee there and people come in, they get their coffee. Now I think about it was a Starbucks, wasn't it? Not a boat. Well, that explains a lot. And then Gary comes down on his big fucking white horse with this cape flying in the wind Listen, you know I get the whole like no one wants some man coming in acting like you need to be saved You're literally not doing it. Okay. This is not a situation where Superman is just you know, saving a kitten It's already in the ground. You're very high up a tree. Okay

There's a well to be fair I did come in with on my big fucking white horse by my cape was not flying in the wind three I'm going to prove myself by sitting here and staring at that drain. What are you doing? I know. They'll see that I'm actually quite talented. I'm going to roll up six towers and that was one of them and I think I'm done for the day. So now it's time to put the sales away and everyone's like, um, that was it. So that was that was it. Wow.

That was about as long as Real Housewives of Dallas lasted in the last couple of weeks. Wow. That was really great and very exciting. And to think that this show is getting bigger ratings than my show ever did. Wow. Congratulations. So then- So there's going to come, huh? Did that one sale say something problematic to that other sale? Because- Don't do it. Just packing her up. Is that a Westcott sale? Okay. and sales say something problematic to that other sale.

Just packing your up. Is that a Westcott sale? Okay. Um, ladies pack. We sit on our suitcases, right? Cause ladies can't fit everything in their suitcase. Dumb sales get wind. Smart sales get wind. Smart sales get everything. I think of stupid Cameron every single time I'm packing and can't close my suitcase.

And I'm like, do not sit on it because I will never will forget that scene. This is how mommy closes her suitcase. Why? Because she's a girl. When, you know, when we went to Cabo San Lucas on vacation, the food was so good that when we came back, all we've been doing is eating Mexican food because food in Mexico, Mexicans make good food. Then they'd be like, ma'am, what would you like? A hamburger, please. It's not Mexican food. Yes, it is. It's all we ate in Cabo. Wasn't she the one who could only have like a hamburger without ketchup or something like every time they went to some whatever that show. Okay.

No, the only thing I would eat was Sparkle Dog. All of Cameron's greatest hits. It didn't taste great but I really loved the once a month poopoo would come out it would be glittery. She's a terrible person but god she made me laugh. Um, so she really did. Here comes one right now. So anyway, now that now Tiffany and the gang, they all want to take photos. So Daisy's like girls, they're gonna be doing nine photos. They're going to gonna go just before nine to do some photos somewhere. So Danny, I'm gonna be doing nine photos. They're gonna go just before nine to do some photos somewhere.

So Danny, I'm gonna send you who is doing service tonight. So then Danny raises her hand and Diana who wants, Diana wants to do service, but she did that thing at the beginning of the season where she says, I like, I do housekeeping. So she's stuck in housekeeping. Also, she kind of sucks at service too, which is what happened last episode.

So Diana's mad, she's like stupid. She does kind of suck at it, but that's so funny. And I need her to be on service all the time now at service to, which is what happened last episode. So Diana's mad. She's like, stupid. But that's so funny. And I need her to be on service all the time now, because when she's like, well, finally, I'm out of poop, poop land, I can now do service. And then we find out why she's not doing service. She's like, you did not like my drink, please die in fire, motherfucker. So the guests are doing their photo shoot and they go up to this like little plateau or some whatever they're doing photos and Danny and Keith are standing by and Danny's like it's gonna be awesome ten years this is really romantic and he's like and she like sort of taps him or nudges him or something that's like a little thing and he's like what was that for?

She goes, it just needs a nudge. Not no flirting in front of the guests. Hey, what? No flirting, what are you talking about? No flirting in front of the guests, be professional. She's like, not sure I understand that. What's that word again? Professional?

It's like you're no fun, I'm professional. I mean, what they hear under my breath doesn't matter and he's like Danny has no Appreciation of work versus play. What does she expect is going to happen right now? We start making out here rolling on the ground. Yeah That's what she's expecting I mean, I bet she walks in and makes out with a Walmart greeter every single time she goes in there, you know the we even? I'm gonna do a TikTok. So Danny's like, it feels like we're dating during the Victorian era. Whenever he's in uniform, that work belt that he wears is basically his chest

city belt. Boner killer. I think you're quite a boner killer yourself. You're too much. I know. Okay, settle down lady Chatterley. Okay. You guys are working. Like he's right. Like this is not the time to flirt, you know? And I'm sure he would maybe like, I don't know. I just think that like, like, well, he's, he is very dull.

So it's also sad that you're trying so hard to flirt with this very dull man, but you're also at work. But he's just a dull person. Like you, to be with this guy, she's basically just like, you're the only one right now, so I'm just gonna make your life hell. But she's not gonna give this guy the time of day in real life. And I think he knows that. But she's taking it personally, but she's the one being mean. You know what I mean? If that makes any sense. Like she's not being mean right now, but I think she, her plan is to fuck him and then leave him. And she knows that's gonna hurt his feelings, and she doesn't care. She's like future mean, just because she needs attention

and she's desperate. It's sad, it's just sad. Like the whole beating someone over the head over and over, like needing attention this bad, it's a boner killer, okay? So then, of course, it's just like, well, I'm not an experienced Japanese chef, but sophomore year of high school, I was like, oh. Which was last year.

Rodman took me to a Panda Express and said, This is not how we do things. Ron when then through five chopsticks at my head and slam my face into a rice cooker. So that's really my experience with Japanese cuisine. But I think I got it. I think I got it. I'll never forget leaving that mall with she'd bought a shirt that says I'm with stupid that pointed over to me Still an egg on my face literally Yeah, so I'm ready to do a 10-courser. Let's get to it

So then they're heading back from the photo shoot and Now we're we get dinner they're serving all sorts of stuff, prawns, avocado rolls, temporary carrots, courgettes, eggplants, all sorts of actually very delicious looking stuff. And one guy wants an espresso martini, the guy named Jerry. I have to say something. Because he serves this big kind of whole fish thing that actually looks really good.

And the guy goes, is this Chilean sea bass? And he goes, no, it's Mediterranean sea bass. Is that, did that ping you? I mean, I'm laughing because honestly, I should know this. We've actually gotten to multiple Chilean sea bass discussions on this show over the years, because I used to be a waiter. And so I was like, you're allowed to still have Chilean sea bass. And you're like, no, you're not. And that was like a big, huge thing back in the day. I remember, remember when Chilean sea bass was canceled for a while. And I didn't know. And I tried to stand up for it. And then it came back.

I mean, 20 was a rough year. Yeah. I mean, even fish get to come back from being canceled. That's not amazing. Even like we forgave the fish now. Chilean sea bass now has its own show on Bravo, everybody. Okay, well, it gets wait, listen to this. I'm so glad you brought this up because okay, so I did not find anything that said Mediterranean

sea bass, but what I did find there is a Wikipedia page for a European sea bass, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, in North America, it is widely known by one of its Italian names, brand Zeno. So look at this, the sea bass. So like, so, so Chilean sea bass is an upgrade from Patagonia and tooth fish. But we are like, but we don't want to have a European sea bass. We want to have a deep brand Zeno. Wow. Well, Chilean isn't front Chilean Sea Bass is not even Sea Bass at all. It's real Patagonian tooth Patagonian tooth fish and comes from South

American waters. What I'm saying is it's so funny that like with one fish, we're like, we need to upgrade it by calling a Sea Bass or the another fish were like, Sea Bass isn't good enough. We need to be and Zeno. Yeah, we need to specify. It's like there was already another, uh, sea bass in sag. So they had to change their name. It's like Vanessa Williams and Vanessa L Williams. Brands, you know, is like, but I had a song called save the best for last. It was a huge hit. Sorry. You're going to have to be Vanessa L.

Sorry. You literally should have gotten here first. You know what I mean? So then Diana is now making an espresso martini and Daisy is like, it's not for Jerry. How did you make that? And she's like, I made coffee, vodka and this, whatever this is. And she goes, okay, grand, nothing can go wrong.

So she delivers it and Jerry, the guest is like, excuse me, this is bad luck, ma'am. And she's like, oh, it's missing something. Oh, it's missing one beam. Huh? And they're like, ooh. And he goes, yeah, I love health and wealth, but I need the happiness.

It needs to have three beans on top of my right guys. I did not know this was a thing. And I hate, I hate this because now it's gonna be a thing if it wasn't a thing, cause it's now on a national platform. But since when does the number of beans like, okay, espresso martinis are brand new. I'm sorry.

Like they, like, especially the modern version of them. Like they first showed up in like what 2000 and then like the modern version. That new, it's already graduated from fucking high school. It's had babies It's like the living down the street trying to vote on your age away bullshit But those were espresso martinis in 2000 were like all like just nothing but like Kahlua and stuff But like these this type of of like espresso martini has been around with us for like six or seven years either way like I

Think when you talk about things happening, like, oh, a tradition of like, there must be three beans on it. Otherwise, it's bad luck. I feel like you need to have like 200 years under your belt before you're talking about those traditions. You're just from the 2000s. You don't have a good luck, bad luck situation yet. Yeah, but that's why they have to do it. You know, you have to keep you have to make tradition tradition takes a long time. So it's three beans, you know, it, all it takes is one moody

Brazilian, Russian, Brazilian Russian lady to just fuck up your, yeah, fuck up your entire, your tradition, you know, you put the three beans on and it makes it worse cause she's like, well, I know that they normally have three beans, but I've also seen two beans, I've seen one bean. I've seen no bean. Who cares? It's like, obviously, you know, it's supposed to be three beans,

but the third bean on there. What are you doing? Why do you need to start a fight over beans? Okay. New at service lady, you're going to be back in the laundry. No, she's like, I'm blazing trail. The Russians would never make me do three. The Russians hate luck.

Okay. Well, guess what? I have an update here everyone. So this is according to Google AI. The three coffee beans that float on top of an espresso martini are a symbol of health, wealth and happiness. The tradition comes from the Italian practice of serving sambuca with three coffee beans on top which is known as con la mosca or with the fly. Which by the way, can we work on the naming of our traditions?

Thank you. The number three is considered to be especially significant in Italian culture. And the custom of placing three beans on a drink is a way to wish well for those sharing it. And the three beans are subtle, yet meaningful garnish that adds symbolism and enhances the experience of drinking espresso martini.

When friends, family or lovers toast with espresso martinis, they are celebrating these three things together. The coffee beans can be eaten if desired. Oh, for fuck's sake. I know, for fuck's sake. But the thing is this, that's someone, okay, that's a Sambuca tradition, but like, I don't know.

I'm just saying, I'm just saying this guy needed to chillax a little bit, you know? I think he was just kidding. I mean, it turned into such a big deal, but he's like, excuse me, I need my other bane. And then she's like, I'm giving you a decaf from now on. They're like, whoa, whoa, what the hell? And so then Daisy's like, Diana, try, even if they're an asshole, try not to let it get you. Because they didn't, because she goes, no, no I was joking I don't care to be honest she goes but they care it's about what they think right you are in service all right

I also love the idea that like her reprimand is that she's just gonna take away the caffeine but the booze can say she's like you know what I'm cutting you off no you can still get wasted. Just no more caffeine. You're too jittery. Too hyper. Yeah. So then Emma and Gary are talking and Emma's like, it's going to get cold tonight alone in boring school. And he's like, yeah, I will give it a boring today and put salt on the bed. And so I'm going to do shows, but I'll make sure the holes are done as well. No, thank you.

No hugs, no celebrations, no raise. Here I am alone on an island, dying alone in the rain. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. One last question, Gary, before I drown to death. When you said put salt on it, did you mean the boat or my wounds? Because both seem to be acceptable. So then the next drink comes out and this one's by Danny and Jerry's like who made this espresso martini? Get over here. This is the best is for happiness, health and wealth. Get the fuck over.

this is for happiness, health and wealth. Get the fuck over here. I'm Diana's wife. She's like, I know Russians. She's like, this is why I hold back coffee bean because I knew you'd play favorites. Okay. Oh, Danny is the best. Oh, it's annoying to my ego. Now that being said, by the way, really,

how much effort does it take to pluck out two more coffee beans to go on top of the Martini? Let's be honest, as much as I just gave that guy shit. It's like also like you're you have access to the beans right there. You cannot clasp two more of them. Come on. Yeah, but this is where I kind of turned against the guy because at first I was like, he's just kidding. But now he's just openly like, Oh, I'm going to turn them against each other. No, nothing's better than a maid fight. Am I right boys? Danny, you're great. She sucks. I liked what was funny when she says, you know what, from now on, I only serve you decaf.

And he like got that look on his face. He looked like he just walked through a glass door. Like he thought the door was open and it was actually closed. He's like, oh wow. He was like caught off guard by that. I thought that was a very clean glass door. I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at that.

It's not like I've walked into the last door is multiple times in my life. Listen, we've seen it on this show many times. There's, oh, like I feel like once like every once in a blue moon, we'll see on one of these charters, some lady walks into the glass door that leads to the inside and she her head. Do it. Oh, Susan, you're okay.

She goes, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just an idiot. I do it all the time. I really do. Remember when that bird slammed into my wall in Texas in my window and people were like, you have to put the bird film on it. I was like, fuck birds. I'm not putting a special, that might help me from knocking into the, into the windows. I'm literally

an idiot. I'm like, I hear something out there. Hey, who's that? It's a window. So the guests go to bed and then he's like, I actually love them them I love all the meal attention that I get and they give me so many compliments and Daisy's like yes well you can go to bed be up at 9am so then Emma meanwhile is sitting in the um the captain's chair the wheelhouse on anchor watch and she's like what I love about yachting is interacting with my team, interacting with the guests, but on night shift, just spending seven hours with no one. It's not the nicest thing to do when you're feeling a bit shitty about yourself. And then her sister comes on board and is like, I love night shift. I'm quite good at it too. Oh, look at the anchors dragging everyone. Everyone, the anchor's dragging. Thank you, Emma sister. You saved the boat. Oh, no problem. We've got the night shift. the the the the Oh no, Emma. That's not even good. Night all she's given Emma. Good try though, sister.

I love you. I support you so. I love the idea of her sister being really good, but also super supportive of Emma. I mean, you can do it. Emma, try again. You could do it. Sing a song about an anchor. Take any song and just replace really every word about midnight shift and anchor.

Okay. Okay. How about this? Why don't you do like a prayer by Madonna? Okay. Life is anger. Oh, darling, she's a little gross. I didn't even want to be a yachtie.

I just showed up on the boat to show you how easy it could be if you just gave it a little positivity. What? Captain? Oh, sure. I'll be captain. Why not? It should be fun.

Wait, you want to name the boat after me? It's no longer the pass of her three or two. the they went things I'm doing a good job. She goes to sleep on anchor watch false next day. So then like an hour before her shift is done, she like wakes up. And then she goes and like rinses down the boat. So everything is wet. And so then she goes to sleep and Keith is walking around. He's like, Oh God. So everything is wet. It's not supposed to is wet. And so then she goes to sleep and Keith is walking around. He's like, Oh God. So everything is wet. It's not supposed to be wet. It's supposed to be cleaned already and dried and spick and span. And, um, it's not.

Yeah. And Gary's like, well, I wanted to ask you about what happened with rinsing the boat last night. Well, I rinsed the boat last night. It just, I mean, it did take and it's oh, really? Because if it happens again, you can pretty much rinse to the aft deck while the other charter guests are up there.

They're not going to walk on the side deck. So you're going to walk on the sun deck either to the cook pair around this way. So I'll bear that in mind last time. Do you know how difficult it was rinsing the desk for half a sleep from just waking up? You know, it's nothing more tiring than sleeping. Isn't that ironic? So now it's guys, it's time for the guests leave. It was just a quick one night charter. So Tiffany is like, guys, thank you so much for having us. We were blown away by your

sideways boat that was sideways for a little bit. And you know, your professionalism that you aspire to have, but didn't quite achieve. That was wonderful. And the level of service that you sort of provided by giving us that quasi Japanese food and taking us to a little cliff. That was amazing. Danny, you make the best three bean espresso martinis. Other girl, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but the next time you offer a decaf martini to my friend, I'm going to throw you overboard. Okay. Good luck getting surgery in my hospital because you're not waking up. So they leave and then Emma calls her sister and she's like, hello, better than you. How are you doing darling? Good to hear your voice. My sister is definitely one of the best people

I'll probably ever know. She's just such a great person to speak to and get advice from. Just every time I talk to her, I just feel miserable, like I'm at the bottom of the pool, and it's just filling up, but I won't float along with it. Do you know what I mean? It's just something comforting about that stillness. Well, Emma, it's so great to hear from you. You know, I've got some wonderful news. I actually won the American election. You know, you're not even supposed to be president if you're not born in America, but they were like, you know what, Emma's sister, how about you just run the country? So I won. All those millions of people wrote in my name without even knowing my name. They just said Emma's sister. So anyway, what's going on with you? Oh, you had trouble mopping the floor. And she was like, because I always compared to Laura, the I've got the Russian president on one line, someone named...

Someone named Putin says, have you seen my former stew? He said something like, it was hard to read through the accent, but he said something like the last two tried to put three beans on my martini and I had him hanged. So, yeah, Emma, it's sort of sad with Emma because she's like, yeah, lawns always been very clever and I'm always compared to her. And I thought not being like, she's like I act up because I'm not as clever as my sister. And then I just make my life might make my parents' life hell.

So I'm just like a burden to everyone. I'm like, Oh poor Emma, you're not a burden to us. You're our favorite. So you're our favorite. You little depression. You little depression. You little Zoloft ball. Come on. So Emma's like, it's been quite hard these last few days, Lauren. I just feel like I've messed up a few times and I've just been getting frustrated with myself. What is that noise that's that infernal racket behind you? Oh, sorry, that's just Beyonce. She's singing freedom, freedom, freedom to me. It's just so great having new friends. Listen, you're just so harsh on yourself. But remember this, you're never going to be as harsh on yourself as life has always been harsh to you. To understand,

life will always win. Look, so all you have to do is wake up in the morning, get out of the bed, say, why am I here? And when you don't get an answer, just cast a vote for me, your sister. Because at the end of the day, if you're crying, at least you could do it at the White House. Well, wherever the vice president lives, in their guest room, somewhere over there. But, by the way, Joe says hi. Joe. Rogan, I got his endorsement also. Beyonce and Joe Rogan, they both came together for me. Both sides of the aisle. You know, both sides of the aisle were so close to me, they stopped

calling the miles. It's just one large group of people. It's quite confusing as you enter because there's no really one way to walk down the center of a room anymore. But you know what? It's what uniting people does. They got rid of the aisle. It's just like one of those terrible movie theaters where there's just things on the side. So if you have to go to the bathroom, everyone has to stand up. But I said everyone before we saw this legislation, could you please go to the bathroom beforehand? And they're all following. It's amazing. So tell me what are you up to? You had a bucket of fried chicken I hear.

If someone does have an accident or does have a need to go immediately, we just crowd surf them with love all the way to where they are. So They're with grief dripping off of her face like, well, I'm really happy for you. You know, you're just such a good person, Laura. I just I call you and I stop having bitch fits at people because I start imagining myself in your clothes with your hair and your eyes and your friends, your country now. Really lovely that much got to go. Actually got to go. Someone's asked me something about the football. I don't know where I've placed it

Surely they'll forgive me. Bye So then Glenn's like, okay everyone, okay tip meeting, okay, so another charter in the can Okay deck team. We'll keep you know, good job. No one died You know the tender didn't bonk into the boat too much this time. So good job with that. And everyone was happy. I mean, thanks. That was good. We lost a couple of pieces of cutlery when the drawer flung open.

Let's never fix that. It was fun. You know, Emma, thanks for ruining the sailing. It's the only thing that gets me an erection these days. And I was hoping to get another 30 seconds out of it. But you kind of killed that for me that's okay though you're learning okay so the tip is a pretty good one it's 25,000 US dollars which is ten thousand dollars more than dr. Contessa gave for a charter that was twice as long so anyway congratulations everyone that makes dr. Contessa over a hundred percent

cheaper than Tiffany Moon. Then Dr. Moon of the two Bravo doctors that we featured. Dr. Contessa is the cheaper one, even though she had a larger party. I'm humiliated for Dr. Contessa. That is so shameful. That is embarrassing. Dr. Contessa, you got your job back. You have a paycheck again.

Yeah, that's embarrassing. Come on. So, but Tiffany, thank you your job back. You have a paycheck again. You're back to mercy. Come on. Please get a paycheck. But, Tiffany, thank you for redeeming Housewives for a while. So then, of course, it's like money's cool, but it's really the forever memories I'm here for. I'm kidding.

I'm here for the money, yeah. So then everyone changes, and they're gonna go out right now, and they go out to dinner and Emma is at the end of the table and she's like, I need water right now. And he's like, are you okay? She's like, no, I'm feeling hot. I need a cigarette.

You know what they say when you're feeling ill, have water and a cigarette. It works. Everybody I know does. When you're sick, you smoke. That's what happens. So they walk out of the restaurant when you're sick, you smoke. That's what happens. So they walk out of the restaurant and days like, you look really nice. How are you? She's like, well, Gary says to me earlier today, he's like, you didn't rinse that

down last night, right? And I was like, I fucking did. And I know I'm oversensitive and I know like my anxiety does get the better of me, but I feel like I'm becoming a hindrance and anti-lauren. It stresses me out. Wasn't the problem that she didn't drive the decks. I think that was so well, the education anyway, because the decks were all wet when, when Keith woke up and he told Harry all the dogs were wet, right?

Well, that was one of the issues. The other thing was Gary's like, okay, so like when you need to clean something like yours are Shammy and then you decide clean something and then she stands there with it and she's like, but what do I use the sham? Yeah, he's like the crime right in front of your face. Look look alive. Look above She's a card everyone's so terrible to me all the time. I just I know I'm oversensitive I don't want my anxiety getting the better of me, but I feel like I'm just too stressed out. Daisy's like, my advice is to Troy, let this stuff go over your back. Let me go to the girls and tell them that you think they're ugly

cows and we'll see how they get there. That should refocus your real quick there. So yeah, Emma's like, I'm all sweaty and hot and I just need to go back and rest. I'm actually the landlord keeps coming by and saying, we don't have stupid here. Oh, no. I just found out I've been evicted from my own head that someone has actually bought the plot of land and oh, it's my sister. My sister has gentrified me out of my own head. Amazing. She's not even living here. She's actually in the presidential palace. I don't know why she needs this. She's moving the vice presidents manning in here. Well, that's every time I say the try and drink some water, even though it tastes gross. So I just need to go back. I'm sweating. It's disgusting. I've got to leave. Can you just get my things explained to everyone? I'm so sorry, but I had to know. No, you're trying to do that. I'm going to go. So someone will follow me, but we already know what happens because Daisy just followed you and you're even worse. Does everybody have to do it so you can win all wallow with you? No, you're going

to go home alone. I don't think I don't think she wants that. I don't think she wants people to follow her. I think this is like she's doing Moody British 30 30 mid 30 something, which is like literally I just want to go into a hole and have no one look at me. I'm a monster. Like it's not like the American like, Oh my God, I am so mad. I'm going to walk like, no, come on. She's just like, I am a burden to everyone. I'm just going to crawl into a hole and watch father doubting mysteries on DVD. So depressing.

It got really depressing and antiquated an old show on an antiquated format. Um, this is like Emma's most definitely struggling, struggling with the workload the the the right? So Danny is like, just general exhausted. Like I can't. She's having work stroke. So Danny is like, actually, I feel like it's your fault because the air con isn't even working. So Oh, so I guess air conditioning is not working on the boat. So that means so then Danny's like, Oh, I'm upset because he didn't ask me to be the love of his life and marry him on top of that cliff. And they're like, Oh, God, this again.

And Garth like he's keeping your game with our father. He's like, Oh, hey, man, just come first. And Daisy's like, Kate, if it makes you feel better, if you did that to me, I would have thrown you over the glass. So then they they go to a club and Emma's back on the boat and Keith and Danny are like sitting next to each other and he's like, how are you doing? And he's like, she's like, I just want to dance. He's like, that's it. Don't you want to talk? Why are you being so cool with me tonight? Like, sir, you're at a club. Okay. Like I was on your side about

the professionalism, but like you coming to be like, why are you watching this way? It's like, rebuffing her though, though, because no, but she's not rebuffing her there at work. And now they're finally at a place where she can flirt with him and she's not. It's like, fuck off. Hmm. So Keith is like, look, I'll buy you a drink. We can have a chat. So then he's like, what, like, what do you want me to tell you? I feel like you only have fun with me when you decide we're gonna have fun. And I'm constantly flirting.'s like, look, I'll buy you a drink. We can have a chat. So then he's like, why, like, what do you want me to tell you? I feel like you only have fun with me when you decide we're going to have fun. And I'm constantly flirting.

And like when we were off that lift that together, that was like no banter, like not even banter, like, don't you even know I was like standing in a stadium with like 10,000 men staring at me and I'm chosen you. So what's going on with that? I've chosen you. You've literally chosen everybody. Um, also don't forget, don't forget you, you also were like I've chosen you. You've literally chosen everybody Let me talk also don't forget

Don't forget you you also were like hot to trot for the child at the Beach Club So yeah, like five minutes Gary. So give me a fucking break. So then Daisy's like Daisy's basically he's like I just I don't think that's fair She's like why you can't just sit there and wait for me to expect you to be more comfortable the time. And he's like, All right, are we done? He goes, All right. Yeah. So then. And then Gary's being silly and daisy. There are a few people in the world that can make people laugh the way Gary can and cut to Gary. And Cloyce is like, Yeah, he's funny. She's like, you know, you're you and Emma and Davide, you know, help clean up that that for me is so refreshing that you guys have been so next level and it just allows us to

be with the guests. It's so refreshing to see. And Keith is like, yeah, cool. I love this. So she's like really happy with with the staff right now. So then Danny and Gary start their flirtatious romance and she's like, why is everybody talking about work? fucking boys giving done.

It's done sexy for me. She's yeah, you love it. Don't you? You love it. So they start their thing and then poise and Keith are catching up and course is like, what's wrong? And he's like, getting weird vibes from Danny. It's almost like she's like one town by saw the other town bike they decided to rack up together. Basically what's happening. You're over Sucker.

So now they get into taxis. And now Daisy is like, Oh, Keith, what's wrong? Tell us. Give us a kiss. And he she's like, he's like, No, no. So are you mad about Donnie? He's like, a little bit. I shouldn't be this sensitive. But she's like, he's like, no, no. It's like, are you mad about Donnie? He's like a little bit. I shouldn't be this sensitive, but she's like, she's like, get it through your little head, you know? And then we cut to Danny and she's talking to Gary because Danny and Gary are having fun.

And she's like, so you think you actually go to the hot tub tonight? He's like, perhaps I will, but I'll be fried chicken. So Gary's like, oh, you should come on, Gary. Come to the hot tub. You should do it. And Gary's like such a bitch face. Beautiful brains. Dun, dun, dun. And then Daisy. Meanwhile, Daisy's like stroking Keith's hair. He's lying on her and she's like petting him stroking his hair

like, it's all right there.'s all right boy and at one point Cloyce was like wow Daisy's really giving me such positive vibes give it a minute okay yeah yeah just put 19 pitas in a basket that's supposed to have 20 and then see her positive vibes yeah exactly in the basket so then Peter magic over on her. She will not have it. So yeah, Daisy is like, Oh, Keith is such a nice person. He really has a general nice guys finished last unfortunately. Yeah. And then Danny and Gary are taking shots in the jacuzzi and you know, Daisy goes to bed checks on an M and everything.

And Danny is saying like, I've been deprived of attention and Gary seems to be giving me this attention and the benefit that I need. So, you know, as long as I get attention doesn't really matter who it is, it could be just an empty vessel of a human as long as I'm getting that attention that works for me. And then they see pocket. And they see some people jumping in the water like down the ways so they're like, should we do it? And so then they jump into the water and then they're swimming and then they're kissing and looks like Danny has moved on. Yeah, well, that whole like nice guys finish last, you know, in reality, guys, nice guys do not finish last, they actually

finish first with giant houses and beautiful families. The people that finish last are the people that insist on being with douchebags like Gary, you guys think, oh my God, life's so exciting. And then they cheat on you and leave you. And you're in your 40s and 50s, you know, wondering why that guy was an asshole to everybody, but you finally was an asshole to you. Stop choosing pieces of shit, okay? Go find yourself a nice, boring man.

Just fuck yourself if you have to, okay? But just stop choosing shit heads there. Happy election day everybody. Happy election day. So everyone, thank you so much for listening to our episode. Thank you to the people on YouTube. We accidentally made this a public thing, but it's kind of fun. And to the people who have hung out and listened with us, it was really fun.

And we enjoyed your little comments on the side there and we'll be back tomorrow with America's show. The Real Housewives of New York. Cackling hangs. Cackling hangs. All right everybody we sure love you. Thanks for being with us. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Watch what Crap-Ins wouldeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alice in King Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney we're fanning out forila Webber! Know your worth with Jason Kurtz! Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock! Kristen the Piston Anderson! Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino!

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