Watch What Crappens - #2612 RHONY S15E06: Smells Like Mean Spirit

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Erin introduces America to a brand new drink calls “mezcal” on The Real Housewives of New York City.  Plus, we learn more about Raquel’s struggles with her mom and her relationships.  To watch this and all our recaps on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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remarkably bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Kill List is a true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those whose lives were in danger. Follow Kill List wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit-seed Truecrum shows like Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wandry+. Truecrump shows like morbid early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap In's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelkirch and joining me is Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Oh great, how are you doing? The whole world's on fire, I'm feeling great Ben. How are things over there on your side of town? Things are just wonderful, just wonderful. You know, I had some McDonald's this morning and I'm just gonna focus all my energy on Bravo

and all my emotions will come out through the recapping of the Real Housewives of New York. I feel great about it, Ben. Feeling great about everything, our future. Everybody's gonna be great. Everybody's gonna be fine. Guys, look to your left and say, I love you. Look to your right and say, I love you. Look behind you and go, run, run, run the other way. Yeah, we'll be okay.

Like I said yesterday, we are all part of the country of Bravo. We are all citizens of the same country here and we were loving yes, no matter what. Yes we are. So anyway, let us dive into the Real Housewives of New York. Because guess what? The Real Housewives of New York was on last night. It's so funny. I don't know why. And actually, by the way, notably, this episode of roni actually made me chortle a few times and I was like what wait signs of life Sons of life I'm laughing and you know why because they finally put Jessel front and center Hello, Jessel was the breakout star of last year Why has it taken like five or six episodes for Bravo to realize that they need

to focus on their star more? Why do we have so much Aaron content at all times? Give us Jessel. Actually, I would argue that Aaron kind of gave today, believe it or not. I mean, Aaron literally came to the show and congratulated herself for bringing for we Mexicans, bringing Mezcal to America. So listen, that's a delusion that we've been missing on this show for a long time. And of course, you know, I wasn't expecting to come from Erin, but it did. So, you know, welcome. And then we also had Raquel, who's probably one of the coolest people who's ever been on Bravo, I think, welcome. And then we also had Raquel, who's probably one of the coolest people who's ever been on Bravo, I think, really. Yeah, her Raquel has the her ratio of being cool to boring

as fascinatingly high. Like, I've never seen someone so cool, but so boring, right? She's so she's so cool about everything that she makes her scandals just seem boring. You know, like we got a big Raquel scandal today and I was like, I am bored with your scandal, ma'am. I need more scandalous details and not just people on the internet were mean to me. Why were they mean to you? What were the two? Yeah. What did you do?

Also, are you married? I need to know. And I need other people calling her out on all this shit because I need the calm facade to go away because her storyline's great. I would really love to be friends with this person. But yeah, you're right. Her story is fascinating and I'm still like, I can't wait for this scene to end. I personally would love to meet who are the trolls in the art community because that is a funny concept to me. Like I'm in the art community, but I'm also a troll. Like I understand trolling in video gaming. I understand trolling in reality TV. But if you are trolling the art world, that's a very special unique kind of troll. And I would love to just understand what makes you tick.

You know what, what makes it even crazier is that it's morality trolling. Right. That's what's even more nuts to me is that the art world of all places is like you cheated on your husband and became a lesbian. Ooh. I mean, that's why I'm in the art world. I'm in the art world to cheat on my husband and become a lesbian. And by the way, I'm going to do coke off a lesbian's unmarried, newly divorced, cheating ass as soon as I can.

What? We're in. That's why we're in the art world. OK, you think I learned all the lyrics to Oklahoma for nothing? Yeah, it all doesn't really make sense. And yet also was not very interesting to me, which is a strange because I thought it would be more interesting, but I was like, okay, this seems to be going on a long time. But that being said,

I thought there were a lot of funny things going on here. So anyway, let's dive in. So we open up with Uber and sigh at a nail salon and Uber's like, Oh, I've been coming up for 10 years. They do the best nails. This is where all the super monsters come and size. Oh I was like, oh yeah, wow, that's pretty, oh my God, I got my toenail in your hair, sorry. She literally got her toenail in some lady's hair. I don't know.

I'm apologizing, but you know what? The lady got your toenail in her own hair, not you. How did that happen? You should be better at toenail clipping. She needs to aim her toenail clipper better. I'm not taking the blame for you getting in the way of my toenail coming out. You've got a huge toenail. If you're even willing to work on it, you are assuming that risk. You know what I mean? I am going to say I don't think it was

size toenail because, well, it could be size toenail if the lady had the toenail on her hand and then brushed her hair, which is a strange thing to do. I think it's more likely that whoever was next to Si in this case, that when the toenail was clipped, it went flying. And it's not going to fly like up and over and land in your hair, it's going to fly like to the left. So I think this is Ubers now I have a conspiracy theory on this. The nail came from beyond the grassy null. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Just nodding. I'm with you. I'm completely with you.

I love the conspiracy of the size toenail trying to murder this lady. I don't know where it came from, but I'm here for it. You know, that's the best thing I've heard today. It's what I needed to really get through today is a conspiracy theory about who's who now was it literally a ripping. Just gonna focus on this. Yeah. So um, it was like, oh, it reminds me of dumb and dumb. Are you know, when I was like, no, you know,

when they were getting their nails that no one remembers, Uber, okay, when you bring up dumb and dumb are on a Bravo show. What the fuck is that? I mean, I remember, but I also think, um, uh, but that's not what happened on Dumb and Dumber. Like no nail went into someone's hair. That's not what happened, Uba. I don't remember that one. I mean, I remember Dumb and Dumber, they had like stupid haircuts on the poster and stuff. I remember the one where he spoke out of his butthole. What was that one? That's Ace Ventura. But you know, and Dumb and D the one where he spoke out of his butt hole. What was that one? That's Ace Ventura.

But you know, and Dumb and Dumber, like he goes to get like his, he got like a pedicure because he's making himself look all nice for Lauren Holly. And then they have to like take out like a massive like industrial drill to take care of the nails. It's a whole thing. So then it was really funny guys.

Be quiet. So Jenna, now we go to Jenna, she's in her room and there's a cat on her bed and the cat is in a little cast. And she's like, this poor thing, just two more weeks, two more weeks with a cast. And apparently, Jenna says she just like walked in and the cat was like on her bed with like its legs like out like I think Cathy Bates had come along and taught this other cat a lesson here. She didn't like the cat's last book.

She was like, I really fucked up that ending cat. You remember that part in misery where Cathy Bates gets a thumbnail in her head. She comes in and the assistant Molly has some fucking nerve. I'm going to say that right now. Keep your eyes open for Molly, Jenna. Don't trust her. Because Molly was like, and we still don't know what happened.

Molly, is that an accusatory tone? Are you accusing Jenna, motherfucking lions? She have the crazy glitter headband, right? What is Jenna's headband, by the way? Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that to us? Why are you doing that to the world? Think about things before you go on TV.

But it's this big, huge glitter. I don't know if it's a, it looks like a funeral veil, but also headband rolled up like a funeral veil rolled up like a restaurant tarp. Anyway, she's there and Molly's basically accusing Jenna of, you know, breaking this kitty's legs. So I want to know what's going on in this house and Jenna's like, you know, we just you know

We how we found her in bed She's like, you know, we know and um, so I gave her some new teeth and I explained that The Rockefeller is now for all the villagers all the villagers She's feeling better now Yeah She's feeling better now. Yeah. So, yeah, Jenna's like starts leaning down and she was like, I learned that if you blink really slowly until your head, then that makes cats feel comfortable with you. Oh, God, or it turns on people who want to be lesbian. And where'd you come from?

It's an interesting tactic because it's what she uses with Erin. Like last week when Erin was pretending to be mad at her for no reason because she had nothing to do. And she was like, Erin, I don't want it. Are you mad? Can we just make up? Just licking your hands, turning in three circles and then, you know, sitting on your kneecap.

Yeah. So then we go to Erin's apartment and Erin is filling out tote bags that say Mezcaloom and Abe is there to help out. And he's like, wow, that's a lot of bags. And she's like, well, I'm tired. He's like, well, that's not what I meant. She goes, well, a lot of people, like we're totally over capacity

to our super important event. And he's like, I know. That's like, we send the invent the invite out and everyone decides to RSVP. It's like our product is super, super popular. Or are you sitting on all my stuff? Ava to get off my stuff. I'm like trying to do something.

You're sitting on the stuff. Poor Abe just looks so nervous. I would write. I hope Abe stole more of that Bitcoin. I hope Abe has a whole secret wallet full of Bitcoin for when he needs to run. We're gonna find Abe in fucking Bermuda one day just in a straw hat, you know?

Well, the joke's on Abe because Bitcoin is up really high right now. So Aaron is like, so Abe and I went to Tulum, Mexico, because that's what Bravo people do in between seasons. And we went there though about 12 years ago and our house manager came over with these nondescript bottles of mezcal. Hold on just I want everyone to just imagine what this concept of mezcal is. Yeah. And he started telling us about the history of mezcal and he said it's basically tequila.

Tequila is the poor man's drink and mezcal is what we Mexicans drink and I was like wait. I am Mexican because I rented a house So I should drink this too And I was like somebody needs to bring this to America Somebody please bring mezcal to America Wow Someone I read a comment today. It like, wow, this is giving Christopher Columbus. She I love that I discovered. I love the idea of Aaron 12 years ago, feeling like she's just discovered mezcal and it needs to be brought to America when it was like, it's been in America for quite a long time.

when it was like, it's been in America for quite a long time. Wait a second. Mezcal. We discovered it. We brought it to America. Fucking crazy lady. Someone needs to bring this to America. Or you could just read the menu at the bar that you're at. Oh yeah. And she's calling her business Mezcalume because you know what? She not only invented Mezcal, she invented the term home girl, you know, thank God. That's right. That's right. So she's like, well, so we, we started a new business called Mezcalume.

And since then we've launched in over 800 accounts. We even got approved by MetLife Stadium to be their only Mezcal. I can't believe how well it's done. So then she says that they're gonna have a Cinco de Mayo celebrations, which I know is an American holiday, mainly celebrated by white people, invented by white people for white people.

I get that. That being said, we're still gonna do it. We just wanna celebrate it. Problematic ass Erin have a problematic ass brand celebrated on a problematic ass holiday. And let's just see how she's gonna dress. I'm like, please wear a poncho and a sombrero because you just fucking know it's coming.

America needs sombreros. That's what I discovered. I need to bring this to America. People don't know about sombreros. Abe and I were in Mezcalume once and we were like, God, it's like cold. I wish I had a jacket, but without arms, because my arms are fine. Then we came up with ponchos and we brought them to America.

Then we were in Mexico once, 12 years ago, and we saw a Mexican and they had like, like we thought it was like a piece of paper, but it's something called a tortilla. And we're like, we need to bring this to America. Edible round paper. So we did it. Now people are eating burritos out of my real estate now. It's insane.

So much needs to be discovered. They're going to build a wall for us. This is going to be built just to keep Aaron out from stealing their shit, you know? the the So, um, then there's, Abe is saying he had fun at a Justin's birthday party and, uh, he's like, he's like, yeah, I was talking to Jenna by the way. And I was saying that you guys should talk. She's like, well, we did talk and now she's been texting me almost every day. And, um, she basically says that like, it was really sweet that Abe, you know, spoke to Jenna, you know, but like, you know, just shows that he's going out of his way

to be there for me and just shows how much he loves me. And it's very touching for me. Hey babe, I just bought a new apartment. You did? What side of town is it on? Oh, it's online. It's just, it's in the metaverse. Hey, wait a minute.

But they have tortillas. Okay. Over there cashing in. But they have tortillas. Okay, over their cash to get more Bitcoin. Thanks to we need. We need to bring mezcal to second life. So she's like, well, I mean, it's kind of take more time. I was less reactive than normal. I guess yeah, you are becoming less reactive. She goes, yeah, he goes, well, I mean, it's gonna take more time. I was less reactive than normal. I goes, yeah, you are becoming less reactive. She goes, yeah. He goes, well, I mean, you still are reactive sometimes.

She goes, maybe with you. Like she's becoming less reactive with everybody else, but she's still using ABUS or whipping post. You know, God bless marriage. Sometimes I watch these shows and I'm like, why aren't I married? This looks amazing. I just had someone like Abe, I could waffle bat around.

Whiffle bat? What is it? A waffle bat is probably a bat. I love the idea of a waffle bat though. I do too. Like a bat made of waffle? Yeah. Or is it a bat that you use on waffles?

I think it would be, oh, you're right. A wiffle bat. I think it's bat made of waffle. I think it would be a bat made out of waffle because then you'd hit a ball, right? Because with a bat, you hit a whiffle ball. Yeah. Whiffle is like the genre is the style. So I think waffle would be the style. And a baseball bat.

A waffle bat. Yeah. OK, so now Jessel's walking down the street with her mother and they're going to get manicures and everything. They walk into the salon, they sit down nails. Big day. Big day. Big day. I don't remember why, but it's a big day. Oh yeah, nails. We already had a nail scene. Yep. That's a theme. So Jessel saying like every time mama tank lands in JFK, it's like the weight has been lifted off my shoulder. She comes to your house and she

just gets shit done. She was like Mary Poppins. Also, I finally have someone else I can speak to who's not an imbecile. Povit. So they go sit down and you know Jessel's just so open about using her mom. I love it. There's a weight lifted off my shoulder literally. She takes both Povit and the children. I don't have to do shit. So they start, she's like, Oh, yeah. So why are you whispering mother? She goes, you shouldn't be talking so loud. It's my new rule. And she's like, now you're like whispering. What is that whispering? Can you believe in everyone? What an idiot. And she's like, well, because you're just like, mom, you're so loud. So they laugh and she's like, who is this alien inside my mother? Anyway, I told you I have all of these eggs frozen in Beverly Hills.

Oh God, please, did I really fly back here to listen to this tripe for another year? You don't want a baby, your husband doesn't want a baby. Do something besides pretending that you want to have a baby for television. Please, I'm exhausted. Your current babies are maniacs. Okay, you are in baby jail until you can get them tamed. Get them the rabies shots that they so desperately need and then we can talk about IVF. Your current babies call the checkout lady at the grocery store mummy.

I don't think now's the time to add another to the pack. I watched Jurassic Park the other day and the Velociraptor apparently watched Roni and said, whoa, those babies need to chill out. True story. Mother, that's not possibly true. That's a fictional dinosaur from a movie and characters from movies don't watch characters from reality TV. No it happened. I'm pretty sure it happened. The adorable, the adorable dinosaur that ate Newman was a more attentive mother than you.

At least he finished the job. Come on. T-Rex called and said, your babies need to get it together. That's it, that was the whole conversation. Yeah. It's time for a commercial, it's time for a Crappence commercial. In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of a beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the internet is The Kill List, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses and specific instructions for people's murders. This

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takers who brought them to life. Like did you know that Super Mario, the best selling video game character of all time, only exists because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye? Or Jack, that the idea for the McDonald's Happy Meal first came from a mom in Guatemala? From Pez dispensers to Levi's 501s to Air Jordans, discover the surprising stories of the most viral products. Plus, we guarantee that after listening, you're going to dominate your next dinner party. So follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the best idea yet early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It's just the best idea yet. I have seen no proof that Jussell likes being a mother at all. And I know this show isn't about

the babies and stuff, but I've heard her talking about it. But all I kind of see is an offloading of the children, which listen, you know that I stand for that. If I was running for president, I'd be like, ignore your children, we all know that. But I don't know, I don't see a lot except her escaping and getting white couches like someone who doesn't even have a child.

So I'm not really sure what's going on over there, but I'm not buying this all, I want a baby. I think maybe she just has like some cost fallacy. Um, cause she's like, look, I paid for these embryos. So like, it just feels like a bad value, you know? Um, so wasting it, too many starving children. They're all over the world that would love to have babies. I'd write couches right now.

She's like, I'm not wasting those babies. I don't know, maybe it's a good thing. You know, I just feel like she's just going to make her mom do everything anyway. So just, I don't know, find another hobby. Adding children to the world isn't a hobby. Yeah. It's so liberating to be able, for some of us, it is a hobby. It's so liberating to be able to actually openly speak about IVF because now I can include my mother in all the planning. Plus, she doesn't have a-o-ly dangling from her lip like povet. I feel like she'll be a good partner in crime to get me through it." And she's like, well, it's a lot of work. She goes, oh, thank you, mother, for telling me that. I

didn't know I meant for me. Yeah. She's like,, I mean, come on, Jessel, I'm traveling with you. And I go, oh my God, honestly, literally the worst children I've ever seen in my life. And you want to add a third one to it. I've really thought this through. I'm an old lady. And honestly, even if I were a young lady, I'd be like, no, no, no, you know, this is like exercise real life. Okay. So let's really think this through my sweet daughter. And Jessel's like, well, it is a circus mother, no, no, no, you know, this is like exercise real life. Okay, so let's really think this through my sweet daughter. And Jessel's like, well, it is a circus mother, but you know, circuses bring in a lot of money, you know, and she's a put isn't it stressful? And she's like, Yeah, well, we just get a nanny.

Well, another nanny and an additional nanny, just get a team of nannies, you know? Yeah, so then the mom is like, well, it would be lovely to have a little girl. And Jessel's like, oh, so now you're on board. My goodness. Now we just have to convince Povit. Well, why don't you name it Carol? Because he apparently likes Carol's buns.

Oh, mother, that was saucy of you. So just tell him you want to put a bun in the oven. He'll be in. You just need to work on your phrasing. So now we have a flashback of Jessel speaking with Povit about it, and just over and over again, and him saying no, pretty much,

except he doesn't really say no. And I think that that's the thing. He just needs to say no. I don't want a kid, because I mean, we all know he doesn't. I feel like he said no, but I don't know, it feels like he should just say no. But don't you want one? No. I mean, I think you should both want one, right? I think he does not want a kid, but I think he also really likes fucking with Jessel. I think he likes making her exasperated. And that's like his favorite thing in the world,

because that's really what all he does the entire episode. So he's like we'll see we'll see we'll see oh my god if you say we'll see one more time we'll see. So um she basically is like yeah we need to go to a therapist because we need to figure out how to communicate and the mom's like oh oh therapy well if i knew it was coming down to that then have all the kids you want just don't go into therapy and Jessel says that basically like her parents attitude towards therapy is really bad like it's like it's a waste of money and she says Indians don't like therapists they they love an astrologer and I don't understand you pay money to go see an astrologer who's going to read the stars and tell you some hocus pocus shit about your life but you're not going to see a therapist

Hocus pocus shit about your life, but you're not going to see a therapist. So then, um, basically she's like, well, you can help. And she goes, Oh, what you want me to teach him how to communicate? Well, I've done the stomping and I've done the threats and it doesn't work. And, um, she's talking about how poverty makes everything into a joke, which is really annoying, which I can get, you know, that's not, you don't seem to have the best communication style, but she doesn't really have the best communication style either. Cause he clearly doesn't want a child and she's just, so now what she does is she's just going to ask him every single time there's a camera on, but it doesn't work. He does not care.

He literally does not care about anything but the chicken wing in front of him. So I don't really know what you're supposed to do, but I would suggest not having another baby with that. Yeah, I agree. So basically she tells her mom to babysit tonight because they're going to go try out a new restaurant. And she's like, I'm going to go have a nice dinner with Poffett and I'm going to drop some bombs on him. Ha ha ha ha ha.

So now we have Raquel going to a restaurant with Uber and then sigh and they all sit down. They all look fabulous. They all they're all like, Oh my god, you look fabulous. And they order some food and every day everything and size like, Oh my wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, one second, Uber. So I went to this place yesterday and I got this for you. And it's like a it's a book that says pigeon watching. Just know because you know, you could do some vision watching just

you know, you know, pigeons because you know, pigeons, remember pigeons? You know about pigeons that you think is a book about pigeons. I thought it was funny that UBA is wearing this like booby showing shirt. And Raquel says, wow, it just got a sneak peek of what you've got on. Wow. I heard it's vegan. So I brought the meat. It's going to be your tagline. Robert denied it.

So, yeah, we've got pigeon, you know, pigeon books and stuff. And it was like, this is actually hilarious. A funniest gift ever. I'm sure there's a chapter of everybody there. Some people have longer pages than others, but even me too. I might be pigeon in that book. So then they start talking about the party and just how great it was.

And then Sai's like, wow, look what just happened to come out right now while we were sitting here. US Weekly headline, Rony's general alliance is definitely ready to marry Cass Byrd. And she tells everybody wearing a giant, unexplainable headband that

nobody really understands. She says, there's a giant ring on my finger. Um, Jenna is wondering why her cat mysteriously has like broken bones. She, you're literally marrying someone named bird, the mortal enemy of cats or cats, the mortal enemy, the bird is striking back. That's what's happening. the bird is striking back. That's what's happening. So Molly is accusing Jenna of abusing that cat and you're accusing cast bird. That's just funny. I'm saying I'm saying

Mary. Ben is accusing cast bird of being an animal. I think Mary I think what her name is not Mary. Her name is Cass. Casper just looks like it says Mary Casper. It'd be kind of funny if her name was Mary Cas. Her name is Cass Casper. It just looks like it says Mary Casper. It'd be kind of funny if her name was Mary Casper. Sounds like Mary fuck kill. Anyway, she's ready. Very Casper. She's ready to marry Casper. Anyway, the point is this. I do think that Casper attacked that cat. Yes, I will go on. Yes.

Very least Casper tricks that cat into falling out a window, you know? Did something. Casbird may have indeed not liked the book that that guy had written. Like it all fits together now. So then we saw, I was like, I'm confused. Like what minute she's cycle? I got the ring on my finger. Why is everyone asking if I'm engaged

and saying congratulations? And then we see a flashback of this not at all happening when they're saying, yeah, I see your ring. And Sai says the promise ring. And Rebecca says, wait, it's called a promise ring, not an engagement ring. And Jenna said, no, it's an engagement ring. I just, we have kids and we're just trying to be low profile about it.

Okay, so she did call it an engagement ring and she told you why she's being hush-hush about it, but the confusion is still fun, I guess. Yeah, I don't understand why Sai is either confused or like why is she even bothered by this? So they want to come for Jenna, but they just can't. Jenna's not comfortable just can't. Jenna does.

Jenna Jenna's not comfortable at this point. She's just not. She's not comfortable either, but she's not really not comfortable like she's comfortable. No, yeah. So it was like, oh, Castle's married before also, yeah. And maybe that's why they're taking it a little slow because it's not the first time for both of them.

It's not the second time around. And Raquel is I said, oh, it's the second time around? And Raquel is like, yeah, well, I think she's probably like me, you know? I tried to keep it on the low. And they're like, yeah, by the way, why have you kept your engagement quiet for so long? She's like, oh, well, you know, my ex and I, we broke up in October of 2020

and like no one knew. And we kept it quiet for a long time because our business was so entwined with our personal relationship. And when I left my husband was like the first relationship with the woman after I left my husband. And so like people were enamored with our entire story, right? Okay. I'm going to save this. I'm going to save it because this is a full page of Raquel monologue. Like the note taker actually had to split it up into one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven segments of her talking. So we wouldn't get confused. But basically she says her ex is an artist and she's like the work you see of me at the Whitney. Oh yeah. Nice humble brag. I love when she said that, you know, when you see me at the Whitney biennial, you know, that famous painting of me, right? You guys have seen it. I think we've all seen it, right? Okay. She's like, I was the final, that's the final product, but I wasn't just the model. I controlled the hair and the makeup and the look

and everything in those paintings. So we're basically partners in a business. And part of their business is looking like they're in love and they're a couple because people are buying a couple's work. So when they broke up, they kept it secret. So I'm like, that's an odd thing to break up at, because that's just being completely inauthentic

and still selling art for tens of thousands of dollars under false pretenses, which I don't know, I don't like that. And then she's, then she started dating a woman and all of that so that they kept it a secret for so long that by the time they did start seeing Raquel out with Mel that it looked like Mel was a wife stealer and that they had ruined this poor innocent artist's life and they made him the victim of everything and basically slut shamed Mel because the husband is the successful rich one in the relationship. He's the one that everybody needs.

And so everybody decided if they're gonna have to choose, they're gonna slut shame Raquel and kiss the husband's ass. So that there were art trolls coming for them. And like you said, I mean, I'd love to see a good art troll. I'd love to see just some good old confusing splatter on my car that you have to like sit for a moment and think deeply to decipher. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I just I just don't know the people who are on like, like, art, art world Reddit, you know, being like, I heard that she has a girlfriend, like, I just don't know, like, it just doesn't seem to match. It's like exactly what you said earlier, which is that like, this seems like it's part and parcel for the art world. Like how many stories we hear about this famous artist having this girlfriend and that girlfriend and you know, they live, they're artists, they live different unconventional lives, they create their own rules, they live in a world of art. So the fact that there are

people who like act actively follow this gossip, and then are like, trolling people involved in this. It just seems so, it seems so counterintuitive. Yeah, it does, but I guess you notice the whole kissing his ass because he's the rich powerful one that could stop them from working or getting sold in galleries. I mean, I don't know, that's kind of what she's making it sound like. But look, I like her. I don't think this was told in it. Like we said, like as far as like the acting, I'm not going to don't think this was told in it. Like we said, like as far as like the acting, not going to give it a huge mark, but I do like her. I think she's a cool chick.

And I do think it's impressive that she can make this sound like this huge victim story when basically like, yeah, I mean, you fell in love and left your husband. It's not, it's not that uncommon of a story, but she's like, and then the artist trolled me after all of my work, creating a company. So I don't know, I like her. I think that she could possibly get, they could possibly get under her skin if given a couple of years and that she could unravel as a reality star. And I see her becoming more fun and delusional as time goes on because she does have some kind of healthy delusion in her. I see it in there.

Um, okay. We'll put her on the air. Yeah, but she's going to take a while. And honestly, I don't know that this show has that long. You know what I mean? I don't know that we have a couple of years to give her count, although Bravo listens to nothing. So who knows, but I don't know.

But, uh, yeah, I, I think she is an interesting person and I think she is an accomplished person and she seems like a cool person to know. I don't find her to be very fascinating on the, in the context of Rony at the moment. So I'm missing Riz. Let's go to bring her apartment, talking to the to the only person that she knows her brother her poor brother. What I really want to ask on cricket bill and international fucking charges because brain has to call him every five minutes about her petty ass little problems.

Wasn't he staying with her? What happened to that? Oh, he's just visiting. Oh, I thought he was staying with her for like a few months. So they FaceTime and she's talking about how she's working on a new app. She's like, I'm the co-founder and chief marketing officer of a new app. And it's like, it has to do with like relationships and dating and flirting. What happens when you get wet?

And I have developers in London and a team here in New York. It's fun. So the app is called Ritz. First we get to see her dog who's so cute. And I love that her dog is just like her because her dog sees that she's on the phone with Darius or Darius and she's the dog like turns away from the phone and it just whips its head back.

Even with his tongue out like, hey. So she tells us about her app Riz, which she said she co-founded. So of course, I went up here and she said, I think the way she's speaking, at least the way I'm remembering, it's a new app. I'm the co-founder and chief marketing officer. Well, this isn't that new.

I mean, it's been out over a year and it's called Riz. And it says it was made with love by Joshua Miller and Roman Cabes or caves. So it doesn't list her as a co-creator or whatever, but it's Riz, not only is it a dating app, it's a dating assistant that's AI, okay? So listen to this,

looking for a little help with your dating game? Riz has got you covered. Our AI powered app uses cutting edge GPT to generate personalized responses that are sure to- Shut up before I murder you. Shut up, I will kill you dead. I will murder you.

I will murder your whole family. I will take you all out, Bueller. Bueller, Bueller, you're gonna have to leave this neighborhood. I'm gonna kill everybody you ever knew Okay, all of you are gonna be dead. That's right. You say this to your dog to your dog. That's animal abuse Sorry, just cast burden there everybody Risk is you the edge you need to stand out from the crowd. Yeah, with fake fucking AI flirting. That's where we're at.

That's fitting because Breeze entire character is written by AI. So figure she would come out with an AI generated dialogue app. This is the cray cray. I don't know if it's the same one, but it's a dating app called Riz. So there you go. Yeah. It was your update. Everybody you're welcome. So she's like, so yeah, I was so like, things were like bad when you left and like, basically got like worse.

There is like, we went to the Hamptons and I tried to like sit down with Psy and like, I don't even know what the hell she's like talking about. So she's like pulling his strings and then like like next day, I was like, fuck you, Brian, you're a snake, you're a snake. But I've like literally never been called a snake in my life, even though I love to wrangle them. Put that in the algorithm res. Everyone's mad at me.

I have no idea what I did. I didn't do nothing to any money. Well, this is an interesting take on having no responsibility for anything going on in your life. It's actually kind of sad. I mean, at least be like, oh God, these girls are so triggered because I did some stupid little thing.

But just having no idea, Brian, really, why anybody's mad at you. If you can't stand the heat, stop turning on the ovens in the kitchen, ma'am. You're the one turning them all on. So Brynn is like, it just feels really awkward. She talks about when she went to the party and like, like, Jessel's party and felt like some people were like there and some people were there and she's like, it just feels like really awkward to be at a party where I just like kind of like, Hey, let's pretend you didn't just like telling me to go fuck myself up for

breakfast bagels and my hamdum. And there is like, I think it's just difficult for you because you know, it's just so much. Yeah. People that hate me for no reason. Is that what you're trying to say? People that should love me and then don't. I hate this stuff.

And he was like, well, maybe like try to be the bigger person like, and like, you know, I just hope you're open to actually being someone that like, who you can rely on and then they can have you to rely on too. And she's like, I love my brother. Like since we're three years old, he's been like so hot. And he's told me to be the better person. And I'm like, I'm a preschool mother.

And still like, he's like, giving me the same advice. I'm going to follow my brother's advice. However, Daris, you have no idea what I'm dealing with. She says she's going to follow his advice, but she doesn't at all. And she doesn't even acknowledge that he just gave her advice. His advice is, you know, if you want to be, if you want people to be good friends, you should be a good friend to people. You should be that person that people are like, wow, that's a good friend.

I'm going to be a good friend to that person. And she just completely disregards that, which is probably the best advice. Now, granted, it would probably kill housewives, but, um, it's the best advice. I think we've ever heard on this show or that I ever recall hearing and she's just like, Oh, well, usually it's just aunts and uncles who are mean to me. And now she's pulling it back to her trauma instead of just listening to the advice, which is be a better person and people will be better to you, you know.

Mm hmm. Here comes one right now. Commercials, here comes one right now. So now we go to Jesslyn Povett walking in Chinatown and just like, oh, look, it says this is the first dim sum parlor. That's so cool, right? I'm like, you're just trying to butter him up. You can ask him to go to therapy. Oh, wow.

Soup dumpling. That's the coolest thing I ever seen. Now you'll go to therapy with me, right, Povit? So they go in and she's like, oh, wrong shoes, wrong shoes. Oh, wrong shoes. So they, you know, she talks about how he's such a foodie and like he can identify great food, but if you want a vibe, it's all about Chesil. Yeah.

He's like, what? Carol's buns was like a great spot. Excellent ambiance. Oh, so they sit down and he like wants to order everything and he's and she's like, okay, well, what about vegetables? Oh, no, skip vegetables are filler. She's like, okay, so I what about vegetables? Oh, no, skip vegetables or filler. She's like, okay, so I guess I'm not going to get a vegetable. Disgusting.

I wish I were a vegetable right now. So I wouldn't have to look at my husband's stupid face. Actually, I do feel quite like a vegetable because I'm the only thing in this restaurant that Puff is ignoring actively. So call me broccoli and let's get this done, shall we? So he's like, I, she says, I do love catnip style duck. And he's like, I prefer my ducks hanging in the window. Okay. Nerd.

So she's so appalled that she made this life choice. She's like, I can't believe I married this idiot. I literally have the clown face woman from Vogue coming over to the apartment and he wants ducks hanging in a window. So they order all sorts of food because he's like, I have a second stomach. And so the server is like, okay, good luck. So they get all this stuff and then Jess is like, don't you feel a wave of relief when my parents are in town? He's like, yeah, it's really good. Oh, by the way, Mother's Day is on Sunday.

I'm not gonna get you a gift. What? But you're supposed to get me a gift. Okay, you'll get a gift. She's not gonna get you a gift. But he won't. He will not get her a gift. He doesn't believe in gifts.

He didn't get her a Valentine's. And she goes off on that again. This is a very, very bad look to not, and not look, it's just a very bad thing to put up with in a marriage. I mean, that's terrible. Like you have to beg. One of my friends is divorcing, and I think it all started with this,

the no gifts and just not getting his shit. It was like, well, I don't think gifts are important. And then that just translated into literally everything else. You know, it's just not good. It's not a good sign. And I'm like Jessica, Jessalyn Povit, but yikes. This is not good. And I'm like Jessica just from one profit, but yikes. So this is not good. Yeah. Yep. So Jessel's like, so then profit comes out and then the food comes out and he's like taking all sorts of photos and she's like,

well, I always question where I am on the totem pole priorities and if I were a pork bun, I would get everything I wanted. He's like, that's actually a hundred percent correct. I really wish I'd married a pork bun. I would get everything I wanted. He's like, that's actually 100% correct. I really wish I'd married a pork bun. So she's like, Oh, why did you put that whole thing in your mouth? He goes, what do you ask them questions? My god is so romantic. Can't wait for you guys to bring a baby into the world. So she's he chokes on it. She's like, told you so.

Some points are one biters. So now she's, he chokes on it. She's like, told you so. Some dumplings are one biters. So now she's talking about her meeting with Tasha, the IVF coach. And Tasha's like, cause Jessel's like, I'm getting teary. Look at me getting teary about how I'd like a baby. And she goes, oh my God, if you're getting teary, that means you really want it and you should do it. Get out of here, IVF saleswoman.

That's like the lady trying to sell a car. She's like, you like how it rides by? It's only 6% interest for the rest of your goddamn lives. Just when I think the decision to have another baby is not just one person, Pa, that he goes, well, the decision is already made, there's no baby. She's like, no, well, oh my God, you stress you stress me out dude we would be making a big mistake if we didn't do it he's like why is it a big mistake by the way I really love these

noodles can we have these noodles as our baby okay how about this we'll put a little bow on these noodles and there's our new baby well it is better behaved no no no I want human baby human baby puppet the only way I'm gonna have another baby is if I get pregnant again. Fine, you can get pregnant with noodles. I'm going to have a noodle baby. Puppet! So she's like, yeah, she's like, but we have so many embryos and a lot of people who want to have a girl, you know, they can't guarantee them having a girl, but we can have a girl,

Puppet. And that's why we should do, am I interrupting your chicken moment? And he's like, oh my God, it's hot chicken. Let me take a photo of it. I need a photo of this hot chicken, babe. He's like, yes, you are interrupting the chicken moment. Yeah, I'm about to lose my shit. I think we probably should see a professional therapist

to help us figure this out. I think you and I and our communication could use a little work. He's like, especially you. Especially you. I'm like, I like Pobbit saying that Jess only needs to work on our communication when he's the one actively with three pork buns in his mouth choking. Yeah, but I don't think they need therapy over this either. She wants a baby. He does not want a baby. So either you're going to tell him you you have to or I'm leaving you or okay, we should both want a baby

so we shouldn't have a baby. But this whole like, you know what, you're not giving me the answer I want so we should go to the therapist. He's just gonna tell the therapist he doesn't want it either. So just tell him he's either gonna have to do it. You guys need to come to this.

I don't know that this is a therapy to sit. Now the communicator, he's got a probably, I mean, that's probably you need a therapist. But I think on this actual thing, it's like he's pretty obviously doesn't want to get I mean, what can you do? So he's like, he's like, how many times have I told you something? And then you asked me a question. And I said, I told you that five minutes ago. And you said, Oh, I wasn't listening to you. But sometimes I block you out. I'm sorry if I don't want Carol's buns sprayed in my face with everything you say.

You see, exactly, you don't listen. So she goes, I truly believe a therapist would help him sort of understand his emotions, or at least to know to swallow first before you start speaking. His emotions are that he doesn't want a baby, that's it. And she's like, communication is key in marriage and I just don't understand what he's trying to say. Oh my God, you guys.

So, she does want to go there for communication. And I think that's good. They should because this is pretty bad. Like the baby thing, but also just the general no gifts on the birthday and the unattentive thing. Like I get that they're best friends, but there becomes, you know, you also have to be each other's lovers and spouse. You can't only have the best snarky friend thing going on. But also like if you're not going to do the doting things that she needs, like giving gifts, etc, etc, you're gonna lose the ability to have any sort of veto power about a baby. I'm sorry. It's like you don't get to like deny the baby. and then you also just like don't tend to your wife. Like you need to like, you need to pull up on some part of this relationship here. He won't give her a tennis

bracelet. You think he's going to give her a human being? Well, and she's probably doing the thing where she's like, it's okay if he doesn't give me these things because I'm going to make the big, I'm doing the big ask. I'm saving up for the big ass, which is the baby. And he's still going to say no to it. Even though she seems to be the one who's like the, like, you know, she's, she's the one doing all the work in this relationship. I mean, she's the one who got them to get it to start looking right. And she's bringing in the money and everything.

Let her have a baby. Yeah, I don't know. I think two people should want to have a baby, you know, but I also get that it's super sad when you want one and then you know, your partner doesn't, I don't know. I think two people should want to have a baby, you know, but I also get that it's super sad when you want one and then you know, your partner doesn't. I don't know really how you remedy that, but I don't think any baby should be brought into the world if they're, you know, no one, why agree that like both parents should want it. But at this point, I'm not sure he even wanted the first two. So I mean, might as well like as long as she's got the nannies, might as well just bring them on in.

Okay. So, um, I mean, listen, it adds more to the economy, right? Paying for more. Listen, it's very rare that I take a pro baby stance. There's a positive to everything. I'm not taking a pro baby stance. What I'm taking is a pro Jessel stance. And I'm right now, I want Jessel to get her way over Povit in this instance.

Cause I think Povit's being a dick. Yeah. I think Povit's kind of being a dick too. So then we go to, she's like, everything's a joke to you, you're like a leprechaun, you have no sense of reality. And he's like, I live in a fried chicken reality. Which probably isn't the best answer. And so she's like, do you want to speak to someone?

And he goes, how much does it cost? And she's like, I don't know. Anywhere between 300 to $500 an hour is basically half of a baby storage a month. He's like, no way, I got a guy for it. I'll find someone cheaper than that. I'm like, I don't think Carol does therapy with her buns. And she's like, oh, where do you expect us to do therapy?

Carol's buns bench, speaking of. And he's like, well, if there's a psychiatrist like I, if you'll meet us there, then yes. Like Dr. Povett won't give me birthday gifts and he's denying me a child. And Carol's just like, steam it. You can't just tell me to steam it. Steam it, it solves everything.

I won't steam Povett. Steam it. Steam it. It solves everything. I won't steam Povit. Steam it. Steam it or get out. So Jessel's like, you're missing the point. I think we should give it a shot. You always have to always gravitate towards, oh, it's a bad thing. It's actually not. A lot of people do therapy. Like Jenna and Cass do therapy.

Tom Cruise, I'm sure does some sort of therapy. And then we have a flashback to a week earlier where Jessel, Jenna's telling Jessel that she and Cass do therapy all the time because they want to avoid problems. So Jessel's like, yes, and my assistant just got married and she's already in therapy. I mean, I think therapy could help a lot of people just organize thoughts, you know, you're not even listening, you're stuffing more noodles into your face, aren't you? It's like, I put it on my list. So she's really frustrated

because he brushes everything under the rug and then he's like, fine, I'll arrange it. She's like, but you're not going to, I'll do it. He's like, no, I will. She's like, no, I will. He's like, fine, I got it. Just let me get it. Which you know means they're gonna go

to that chamber of commerce for food or whatever the fuck The what is he the president of like the fried chicken New York Fried Chicken Association? I think it's like the street food society. We call it the fried chicken society, but like I think it was like the street food Society of New York City or something like that he's gonna be like well they came back with the judgment and It's official. Nine out of 10 fried chicken people say, give them funnel cakes. I have lots of funnel cakes.

We're going to meet in the middle. Okay. Baby. No funnel cake. Yes. And here, if we need to compromise any further, we'll throw on some warm nuts. How's that? Jess is like, you know what? Sometimes you just have to give what life takes you or take what life gives you. The final cake shall be in my new child. And she just tries to spend the rest of her rony time just trying to get a funnel cake into an elite private school.

She puts a little beret on it. Tom Cruise is still old enough to enjoy funnel cake. I swear it can do math. I know it's a funnel cake, but it can do math. So then we go to Raquel and Mal, Raquel, Mal, Raque Mal, as we call them, as the kids are calling them, Raque Mal, walking down the streets. And they're on a way to a gallery and they're walking through and she knows the girl she's like oh i'm not familiar with this artist and we meet the curator and she's like oh the a

lot the artist is queer and interdisciplinary and we can it's like wow the new york city art world is so insular oh i love her whole play on cornrows with corn because there's corn. The art is like corn stalks, but then corn rows like braids growing out of the corn. It's very on the nose, if you will. So yeah, that is also very queer and insular. So who am I to say you know what I'm saying? That is some insular queerness right there and I'm all for it. Yeah it's very arts scene and so they're looking at all this stuff and they meet some

artists and everything and then they you know because they are at a an art show it's now time to sit down and have some snacks so they are like the real the real highlight of this is not they got to see some new artists it's that they got to have wasabi pews so they sit down and are like the real, the real highlight of this is not they got to see some new artists is that they got to have wasabi peas. So they sit down and I was like, Oh my God, wasabi peas. So Mel, what do you think about Jessel's birthday? It was like your second time with everyone. And Mel's like, I know I got to talk to Abe the babe. Oh, yeah. How was he? He was being a babe. He was so nice. He was trying to help us plan the engagement party. I was like, oh wow, this is gonna be a great scene. Can't wait, can't wait to see this high energy scene

between Raquel and Mel. And Raquel's like, yeah, I was like, you're a lesbian event planner. You're basically, you're hired Abe the babe. I said Abe the babe. And Raquel's like, oh my God, this is like the first art fair we've ever, that we've been together in New York, right?

She goes, yeah, it's nice to get, be able to go out when artists aren't like, you know, splattering us or calling us vagina flowers, you know. Rude art jokes. Remember that time someone was like, oh my God, you're like a Campbell's soup can, you're over, get out of here. Yeah.

And so basically, and then there's, like my art about this. I know nothing about the art world. I'm like, I'm completely out of things now. Okay. Basquiat more like Basquiat slot. So Raquel, they start talking again about their scandalous, the scandalous foundations of their relationship. And Raquel is like, Yeah, reporter found out about a breakup, and Mel got caught in the crosshairs. And then we see an article that was like art power couple breaks up. I was like, who, please tell me that like Sean tall from gallery girls wrote this because I just love that's what the entire time I was just imagining that cast

following this news and gossiping with each other about it. Sipping on only Oregon wine. Rick Hale is talking about how they're portraying Mel as a home wrecker, and people are being mean to Mel. It's great, but I already saw this scene. Mel's like, hey, by the way, I'm so glad we made it through that scandal.

Thanks for elevating it to a national audience. I really am so glad that we finally got through that. And now you've just reminded the world that I'm a home wrecker. Yeah, thanks for giving the internet more chum. Sounds great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Yeah, so now they're talking about announcing their engagement and Raquel's like, well, we're gonna have this party and clearly I'm going to post about it. And I mean, you're going, you're excited about announcing it, right? And she was like, yeah, but what about your mom? And she goes, and so then we find about her mom and her mom is not supportive. Her mom was supportive of the first engagement and marriage to the man, but then she wasn't really supportive of her previous relationship with her ex, I guess once they were married, like she stopped liking the husband.

Raquel really up the stakes on this cast, because this cast, like most of the people in this cast have an issue with one of their parents, and she's like, guess what? Last week you thought I had an issue with my dad, and only my dad, but guess what? I have an issue with my dad and only my dad but guess what? I have an issue with my mom too. So her basically her mom they're not really talking They talk but like her mom does not support the lesbian relationship. Their relationship is strange. She doesn't come visit anymore

So now this is like part two and it sucks by the way, it sucks. And by the way mother Raquel mother get it together That's your daughter. Okay, get with it. It's the 21st century. So then, you know, they're talking about how awkward it is and how she would love to see her mother, and she is going to invite her mother. But she does. She's not so hopeful about it, you know. And she's like, well, would she show up for a daughter's wedding? I mean, I don't know. Maybe she wouldn't, you know, which is I'll have to deal with that when I get to that. And so, you know, this is all very sad.

I mean, I think all the, it's rough. It's a rough road with most of the parental stories on this show. Yeah. So either way, she's gonna, I guess she's gonna try to work on mending that relationship now. So now Aaron and

Abe walk into their Cinco de Mayo party to introduce New York to this cool new beverage called Mezcal. And so Aaron's like they brought it and Aaron is literally dressed like the dancing lady emoji on the I just can't like really the lady in the salsa dress snapping I'm like Aaron really come on man. So everyone is like showing up and saying hi, Uber is there and it was like I look like a bank teller like we got to be all and just like it doesn't at all by the way I don't really know where that's coming from. I don't know what bank she goes to, but I'm not really sure where that comes from. So there's a lot of small talk. Aaron's like, wow, we're over, we're over capacity by like 100 people.

Speaking of things that were not over capacity by 100 people, Justal's party was kind of fun, I guess. I mean, she didn't like bring anything to America, but it's like, also, it's like enough of us being separate, we need to like all try to come together. Aaron, you were the one being separate at that party. You were the one who hold yourself up in a corner being like, I don't even want to talk to Jenna. You're also the one turning everybody against each other, you asshole, which are currently doing in this episode.

Yeah, you're the chief separatists. So, so Sai's like, what do you mean being separate? And Aaron's like, no, Jessel's party, it was like separate. And it was like, well, I was going to say hi to everyone and Jessel. And then the minute I walked in, you know, like Jessel comes up to me and is like, so how do you, how are you and Brynn?

Is everything okay? Like everyone's like up in our face. So now Uba's like mad that people, like, Jessica comes up to me and is like, So how do you, how are you and Brian? Is everything okay? Like everyone's like up in our face. So now who was like mad that people are like, oh my god Are you in Britain? Okay, even though like the last thing we saw was people being mad at brand now She's like, why is everyone trying to start the thing between us? Yeah, but obviously they obviously Brenna said something behind her back because they left that like I guess I Don't know that everyone's just coming to her with drama. She's like, what the hell? Why is everyone coming to me with this shit?

So then Erica's like, Oh, Erica, Aaron's like, Oh yeah. She went off when we were shopping and she's like, yeah, people together. By the way, this person was talking shit about you. Literally two seconds after she said, why are we also separate? By the way, brandnn still hates you. And she's like, yeah, she was on one and she was just really pissed. And so we cut back to the flashback of Brynn saying like, yeah, size genuinely a miserable person.

She's a miserable troll that lives under the Brooklyn bridge and it has been crazy. I'm sick of right now. Oh my God. She's just she's yeah. So then size like what I'm confused. I don't know why she's mad. It's like I don't know. And then Uber tells us a ding dong ding dong. Hello, pigeon. She's no these pigeons, they go out and

they have conversation. I'm like, well, okay, it's one thing to be a carrier pigeon, but there's no such thing as like, socializing pigeon, like that's like not a pigeon thing to do. So Aaron's like, don't call me a pigeon. I'm a mezz unless it's for mezcal because I brought it here to America. You're welcome, United States. Um, and yeah, I think that pigeons are social. I mean, I get what she's saying, like pigeons taking just taking news to each other. That was she saying? Yeah, I think that pigeons are social. I mean, I get what she's saying. Like pigeons just taking news to each other.

Isn't that what she's saying? Yeah, I think that's what she's saying. Yeah, she's basically like, you and Jess will have this useful information that we don't have. So now you're coming back to us asking how we're doing, and I'm dumbfounded by that. So I was like, if she's mad at me, she can talk to me. I kind of like that they don't fall for this

and they're just like, whatever, Erin, if she's so upset, you know, like, how many episodes you're gonna start a fight, you know, they're, they've, they're onto it now, basically. So Rekha Lanell come in, and they walk on, they walk in and say hi, and everything. And then Brian walks in, and she's like, I'm walking into this party with an open heart, but I feel guarded. So if someone's like, let's make up or let's go talk.

I'm literally so scared because it like keeps going so early. Well, I hope there's a lot of guys here ready to invest in Brynn's IP. Ha ha ha, ding, ha ha ha, ding. And then Erin goes to hug, Erin hugs Dorothy, her mom, and so she's like, oh my God, it means so much to have my mom here. You know, she talks about her mom going through chemo and stuff,

and she loves seeing her mom happy. And then her dad comes in, and Brynn's like, Oh, hey, Danny, you are so turtle right now. You're like turtle in sunshine sexy step. Sorry, I got that off my app Riz. I hope it meets and then size talk about how she's so relieved that there's good food at this there's food at this event. And then she's like, I size, talking about how she was so relieved that there's good food at this, there's food at this event. And um, and then she's like, I mean, she's serving food and drinks and I don't think

anything sponsored just alcohol. And um, so they're all just like continuing to talk and to chat and everything. And Brin is talking to again, talking to Eli, um, Aaron's dad and he's like, yeah, I'm looking for a tool. And she's like, yeah, I'm looking for her too. And she's like, oh. And then, um, Sia's like, hi Brynn, hi Aaron's papa. And she's like, huh. And so he says hi, but Brynn doesn't.

So they're like, ah, Brynn didn't say hi back. John, John, John. So then she just stands talking to them, like flirting with the dad really heavily right in front of the girls, just to trigger them so that someone will say she's a gold digger or sugar baby. And then she can cry about it later because that's what Brent does. She's like, you know what?

I'm going to upset everybody and I'm going to get mad. I'm going to cry about it. I'm not approaching the table. I'm going to keep my distance. Who was it? Einstein that said repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result It's really sexy. Yeah, I love his hair. Come here, daddy equals MC horny

So then Now Brin's just making like small talk like what happened to your girlfriend? She went back to LA. You don't want to go back to LA? You don't like to be in bed all day? He goes, no, I hate LA. Nine o'clock, everybody's bed. She goes, oh, you don't like to be in bed all day, daddy.

And he's like, with you, I like to be in bed. She's like. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

It's inside. It's like, I don't know why Brynn's being weird. She walks by our table, smooths with Aaron's daddy, and then she gets upset that there are all these chicken daddy stories. I mean, if it walks like a duck, if it talks like a duck, it might be a sugar baby. I don't know. Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, probably banging Brynn's dad. What's her bunce's dad? Aaron's dad. talks like a duck probably banging brinston uh what the buns is there instead so then jenna comes

it comes in and she she's passing like a guy standing outside in a suit she just goes oh oh cute and he just kind of looks at her like what the fuck he's like i know where your cat lives be quiet lady so. So Jenna's like, um, she comes in and she goes, Oh my God, Aaron, that was the lamest hug I've ever gotten. Okay. We're not doing this. Give me a proper hug. She's like, uh, Jenna, why are you tilting your head and winking at me? And why do I actually feel warmer looking into your eyes as he wink at me? Why are you licking my forehead? Please stop.

I don't want a fancy face, but thank you for the offer, I guess. So then she tells the girls where's brand and they point and Brenda still flirting with the dad. And so Eli's like, I'm going to use the bathroom. Don't lose me. And she's like, Lose you. Does that mean I won you?

I lose you. Does that mean I won you? Ah, ah. And, and Aaron's like, Aaron's like speaking to some gashes like, yeah, it's called mezcal. It's much better for you. Cause it's a hundred percent pure agave. Wait, hold on one second.

There's a laser pointer I've got to go chase. Cut to like Jenna Lyons. So she's like, oh, sorry, I was trying to, I couldn't decide laser or carrot stick, but I don't want to drink. I don't want to drink, please. Anything non-alcoholic would be great. Hold on. I'm just going to quick, quick, quick, quick. Aaron, Jenna, please don't pee right there. I'm just scratching. I'm just seeing how, just, just making sure that I know where to go when it's time to go. Please don't.

Rebecca Minkoff enters. She's like, hey girls, sorry, I'm late. I just got some new sheets from my virginity bed. What's going on? Sorry, girls. I just breastfed a teenager and chased down a woman who was trying to leave the church and had her locked up. And then I squirted blood out of my vagina into a cup. So how's everything going over here?

Sorry, I've just been collecting my mucus in a thimble and it's just been much more difficult than I thought it would be. What's going on? So, um, and Povit is, oh, then Jess on Povit, uh, walk up and Jess was like, well, there's probably not going to be any food. So if you're looking for a fried chicken or some noodle or a pork bun, you're going to have to figure that one out. He's like, it's all right. I'll order a burrito. She's like, disgusting. So and then what if I just leave him at the party and never come back? So then Aaron's mom says hi to everybody. And you know, everybody's, you know, complimenting each other's clothes and you know, because it's this show is how we roll for half an hour.

Almost everyone is. Jessel comes in and she's like, Hmm, something smells. Is that you, Aaron? Are you wearing your deodorant to get like, wait a minute. Do I smell? It's just what something does. Something does. And I decided it just has to be you. And then Mel's like, wait a second, smell this, smell this plate of onions. Oh, that's what it was. Sorry, Erin, I apologize.

I confused your normal scent with a plate of onions. You can understand my mistake. That's better. So you're smelling like taco toppings on purpose today? Is that what we're going for? Erin's like, how dare you come into my party and then say I smell? My God, if you're coming here to complain, I'm getting out of here. And so then she does

she goes and talks to guests. She's like mezcal is smoky and ours is really smooth. And I want women to drink mezcal. She's so empowering. You know, at this moment in our nation's history, thank God for Aaron getting women to drink mezcal. They're like, um, yeah, this mezcal is and why does the mezcal smell like onions? Oh, sorry, that's apparently my deal. So then the count then we're then there's like taking photos in their booth and

everything and it's all fun. And then Brynn decides that she is like she she's like she's sort of like the only one not with a group right now and she's like lady sure and i can't say it having beef or tension with people and like i don't know at this point if like sweeping it under the rug is sustainable give me our rug that's not sustainable yes yes. Well, she's tried to get someone to come over and say, Fran, what's wrong? Why aren't you talking to the group? But everyone's just blowing her off. So now she's like, okay, well, maybe that's not gonna work.

So I guess I'm gonna talk to the group now. So then she's like, I mean, how much can you brush under the rug before it's filthy? You know, she's like really dirty. Like, rags you don't want to get dirty because then they're like weird colors and then they're not healthy. It's not fun having a dirty rug. How am I feeling like this? Is this what it feels like to be serious? So then Uber's like, well, apparently Bryn was talking a lot of shit. Did you forget Jessel? Jessel, you don't remember?

Because Jessel does this face like, what? She's, oh, did you forget the Alzheimer's just kick in? Jessel's like, no, she was. I was just reacting to the idea that Erin's deodorant smells so much like onions. So then Brynn goes up to the table now and says, okay, you know what Brynn, we gotta figure this out cause I'm like so confused. And it was like, yes,

so who's gonna start the conversation here? Okay, come on, let's skip this talking. And it was like, at Jess's party, they all noticed that you and I didn't talk. And then the minute I walked into the party, Jess had grabbed me and said, oh my God, is everything okay with you and Brynn? and I'm like, do I have a problem with brain and brain has a problem with then then bring she come and talk to me like, fast forward, here I am. And like,

what's going on, brain? Yeah. And she's like, so and Sai and I are sitting here. And you know, then Aaron comes up and she's like, well, Brynn was saying shit about you. And Brynn goes, yeah, that sounds about right, Erin. And Erin's like, oh guys, it's really not that deep. My God. Yeah, it is. You just try to start another war at your own party so next week you can be like,

I can't believe they were fighting at my party. If it's not that deep, why are you going around telling people as soon as they walk in the room? That feels kind of deep. So it was like, oh, okay, it's not that deep, why are you going around telling people as soon as they walk in the room? That's kind of deep. So it was like, Oh, okay. It's not deep then that's fine. Then we drop it.

And so Uber drinks direct starts like swilling around the water bottle and then drinking out of it. And they're like, Oh, that's the table's water bottle. There's a glass right there. She goes, and Jessel says that she's like, why are you drinking from the bottle? There's a glass that is, it's my husband now contagious set it did you have a burrito being delivered and then like without even like a hesitation uber looks at jessel and goes you use a glass because you're a basic bitch and i'm not i like let out the biggest laugh i was like where did that come

from i love that that became the standard of like being a basic bitch. You use the glass, but I'm going to drink directly from the ground. You're a basic bitch. You use as a glass. Well, you see what she does with the fork. You're just going to be mortified. So she's like, it was my water at my table and you're not my mom. You don't tell me what to do. You basic bitch. Cause if you're not a basic bitch, you will come and tell your friends when people are talking behind their back.

Okay, so now you're mad that Aaron told you that they were talking behind your back. While at the same time being mad that Jessel didn't tell you that people were talking behind her back, which lane are you in? Fucking water drunk. You're a basic bitch. Oh, using a fault you basic bitch. So Jessel just was like can I just say I'm anything but basic and size like can I just say everything needs to be perfect So Jenna Jenna's like so uber by the way Basic bitch is somebody who has no style and no humor and it was like that's not true

Okay And it was like, that's not true. Okay. And Jenna's like, Oh, you know, Raquel, if I say someone is a basic bitch, what is that? What's that? Stop looking yourself. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What does that mean to you? And she's like, um, I think basic bitch is equated with like Karen.

And Jenna's like, okay, Karen then. And just as like, I'm a Karen now. I would really appreciate not to be called a basic bitch. And Aaron goes, Wait, am I a basic bitch to her? Okay. Aaron is the most basic bitch here. And but I love that they are all struggling with this concept. No, that's what basic reads. I love it's not a Karen. A basic bitch is not a Karen. It's not a Karen. They're like, Well,

apparently I'm a Karen and I smell it's like, oh my god, you read deodorant that's natural. So of course I'm gonna say that you smell. So the general site, gentle, gentle is like Jessel, you're mean for telling her that she smells because but she does sometimes. Sorry. I mean, no one wants to host a party smelling like a dirty sock onion. Right. And they're like, Brian, I'm happy that you two are chilling,

you know, meaning her inside. And so I think we're fine. We're fine. We talked in the amped. I moved on. I can't move on. I really miss being friends almost as much as I miss Aaron's dad. So size like, you know, I don't trust trust her and I'm disappointed that my friend is still talking shit about me, but I do want to have fun again. So back to the surface we go swim, swim, swim. So Aaron's like, well, I guess everyone is good.

Mezcal brings people together. If only we had brought Mezcal to America sooner. So then basically they're like, okay, well, it's another episode or trying to have a fun fight, but it didn't work out. So let's just do everybody put the hands in the middle and we'll make up. So they do that. And just was like, this is the dumbest thing we've ever done. And we went to, we went to Aaron's engagement party last year.

So then they're like, Hey, wait a minute, where'd Rebecca go? And Aaron says that she had to go to an accessory or an accessory award. And Britain's like, I didn't know Nordstrom rat gives that award. Okay, is you're just gonna try that line until it's funny. And it still makes no sense. It's an honor to even be in the rack girl. Yeah. Other people's apps. honor to even be in the rack girl. Yeah, why? Rebecca Minkoff is literally so successful. And here you are trying to launch your fucking Riz app. Okay, stealing some Gen Z

terminology. And you're trying to get that launch, you should be so lucky to have Rebecca Minkoff on your side to promote it. Like what is going on with her? I don't know. So then Abe and Erin give a speech and it's, you know, an Abe and Erin speech. And Brynn's like, I'm going to put my timer on for this one. And a condom just in case. And then because we see a flashback of when they gave an endless speeches last time. And so Erin's like, I just want to thank you. I want to thank everyone who's here. I'm like pinching myself that

I got to be the American that got to introduce America to Mezcal. Wow. I'm a pioneer. Wow. And then the business partner gets up and starts talking and then everyone's like, like, wait a second, is that the one that Aaron slept with? So they're all like cracking up at this, you know, especially because his speech is like, I'm the, is that the one that Aaron slept with? So they're all like cracking up at this, you know? Especially because his speech is like, I'm the co-founder and president, but I'm really just their marriage counselor. Oh, it's like, wow.

So you were banging Aaron, and now you're kind of making fun of how much her marriage sucks in public. Well, this is like, this is truly a family business. Yeah, the girls are cracking up and brands like, there's not, Oh God, we, we forgot a brin line in this. I'm sorry. It's probably my fault for glazing over it, but literally, but there

was one point where she's like, I can't with these girls. It's like banging my head up against the wall. And I, and I literally sat on my couch or like banging your head on a headboard. Am I right? And she goes, I'd rather be banging my head on a headboard. You are officially AI. I can't with you. Okay. You are as generated answer from the Siri, please. It's just predictable. It's like, you see the jokes coming. Then you see it. She gets, she's gets like so happy with herself. Much like I

am half the time on this podcast. I won't lie. I'm like, I made a joke. But still. So she's like, Yeah, they're not just like shares in that company. They're sharing a lot. He's taking stock of that. So yeah? So, yeah. So the Mezcal has officially been introduced to the US of A through Erin and the women are able to come together. See who said this country was divided. Look at the way these women put their hands

in the center of this table. There is hope for us all. All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here. It's been a good day. Everybody have a good day out there. Remember, no matter what happens in the world, you know, some for some people, it's a great day, you know, good for you guys. Glad you're having fun, you know, and for some of those, it's it's a worst day. But no matter if it's a good day or it's a bad day, we're going to be here because we love you guys. And we love you always better off than the people on Bravo.

No matter what happens in this world, just try to laugh. Okay. That's all we can really tell you at this point. It's when things are going good and when things are not going good for you. Just smile through it, push it down, push it down! Talk to you tomorrow! Bye! Watch What Crappins would like to thank tomorrow! Bye! She don't miss no trick-a-lis. Jamie. She has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz.

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