Watch What Crappens - #2623 RHOP 0907: Short, Stop!

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

Gordon takes a stance against Mia’s short king on this week’s Real Housewives of Potomac and the ladies gather to celebrate some football stuff and stop mentioning any gossip about Jassi���s man after checking out the size of his arms. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. You can now gift Patreon to friends and family. And is there a better gift than these faces? IS THERE?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch What Crappin' Watch What Crappin' Guess what happens when there's so much that crappins Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappin'! It's a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Braves. I'm Ronnie. That's the hotness of my life. Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good. I need to get our heads even here on the I know. Sorry. I rose up. Two bald heads very even with each other. Well, you're

Yeah. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. It is Potomac Day. God bless us all. And it's also crappy hourday. That is our bi weekly. Do not question it. Sexuality Kyle Richards will be very upset with you. Don't do that. But it's our bi-weekly Bravo Gossip and News show on YouTube Live. Also streamed on Instagram Live if you'd prefer. And guess what? You'll always find it for free to the public on Patreon, which is also where you get all these videos right when they come out and our bonus episodes. So it's fun times over there.

This week's bonus episode was just bitching like grumpy old fuckers. We just bitched about everything that old people need to get off of our chests, our very saggy chests. So we did that. So go listen to that. And tonight on Crappy Hour, we have a very special guest, YouTube's own Kem Paya, from the Kem Paya channel. A wonderful guy. We're excited to meet him. We've been enamored with him for a long time on the internet, but we're finally meet tonight. So join us for that 530 Pacific time. What say you, Ben? How's everything going? How was your weekend? The weekend was so fun. I did very exciting things. Like for instance, I signed myself up on Blue Sky. You know, I cannot, I cannot resist a trend.

And so I hopped on there. So go find me on there everyone, Ben Mandelker. And other than that, I made a cake. I watched football. I played board games. I did all the really fun things, you know? It was just a really great weekend for me. And yeah, and I ate a squash. So, you know,

it was good. I'm really excited. I am going to do a small plug for my Substack because it's Thanksgiving time here in the States. Thanksgiving is next week and I know if you're like me, you enjoy putting together a Thanksgiving spread. So go check out my Substack, nvdfancy.substack.com because I have posts on there about Thanksgiving and some ideas and I'll probably write one this week. So go check it out. All right, go do it.

Blue skies and Substack, there you go. Get your pen all the time. All the fun stuff. So today is Potomac Day. It is called Hard Launch Soft Landing. Not a good episode for short people, for short guys specifically. Oh yeah.

Short women are okay, but short men die. Just die already. Don't put yourself into a wood chipper because let me tell you who hates you. Literally every woman on earth. They hate you and you don't deserve to live. These short guys can't catch a break. I mean, or you know, anything that's thrown too high. I know our sweet short kings, they finally had an episode that was really,

they really got to, I won't, I won't say stand tall, but they got to just be there on screen. And just when they're like, you know, feeling, you know, feeling a little pop cock in their walk or pop and whatever, you know, then comes this like tall Adonis football player and it's like, want, want, want back to the back to under the bridge. You go, you little trolls, poor short Kings. They deserve, they deserve better. They should not be put on the same episode as the tall Super Bowl winning football player.

And you know what? Short Kings rise above. You know what I mean? And of course, not literally, because this is not going to happen. But yeah, seriously, stop the short. Hey, what's wrong with short guys? You know, they have hearts. Their hearts are just the same size, but maybe a little not as tall, but they're still the same size hearts. Be nice to short people, you jerks. Okay, so let's go on the screen. Seven days until Karen's court date. So Karen is watering plants and she's talking to them. And I think this is kind of like Karen's version of Munchausen by proxy, just like forcing her plants to drink so like she can put the shift somewhere else, you know?

Right. She's like, I'm coming children, hold on, mommy is going to give you some water. Yes, mommy's giving you water. It's like turpentine. She's like, oh no, you'll sick again. We don't know what it is. It's a mysterious my plans have been walking sideways all day now who's driving drunk little ficus bitch. I can't talk about it. I can't talk about my ficus as a court case. I cannot talk about this. So then we go see how busy busy busy Karen is. And she's you know, she's like guys guys, we are going to start

organizing a marketing plan for July. So that's our next area of focus. Wow. July. So in July, we need to tell people it's July. Get your face done. There's one. It's like a step above organizing brochures. I have one word. Hashtag boss bitch. Hello. They're going to start organizing a maybe marketing plan.

I'm so excited for her. Boss, boss bitch brochure marketing plan. She's like possibly happy hour immediately after. Got you. So that's great. We go from Karen trying to pretend her plants are the drunk from here and trying to turn all of her employees into alcoholics. Exactly. And then we go to me and Jacqueline at lunch and Mia's

like, well, and because you're this weekend, of course, there's gonna be a little bit more on and off. And Jacqueline's like, and I'll be the first one in line to pop because I am here to stay I'm the number one sidekick I'm not a sidekick at all what are you talking about I'm number one thank you and Jacqueline is doing this whole like I was the one who told you to get more D honey yeah who are you even being right now this is you've never been like this why are you being like this like her her, she's like, look at my personality. It's on a 12 out of 10. Yeah. And also like,

do you think you actually win a trophy for telling someone who's divorcing? You need to get some more D like, I'm sorry. That was not innovative advice. Oh, she was getting more D long before she was divorced. Yeah. Mia was probably getting that deal like on her wedding night from this kid, you know? Yeah, let me tell you something. The letter D comes before G. What? I was being sassy. I said the letter G comes before, I said the letter G comes before D.

I mean, sorry, I said the letter D comes before G. See, now I've ruined up my own sass. I was like, girl, the letter D happens before G could meaning that she was getting dick way before she even met G. Although I get it. I just didn't hear it. So she's like, yeah, I was the one who told you, you better get that deep, babe. Oh my gosh, stop auditioning for whatever you think you're auditioning for because you're still failing. How are you doing like your third season of the show?

I mean, Potomac is just like, but she's so nice. Like, did she bring gummy worms to the staff? I mean, what does Jacqueline do for you guys? Maybe. So then we sort of we land at Stacey Stacy's apartment for a big Stacy and TJ scene. By the way, I have a hot take about TJ. I don't think, I don't think you're going to see this one coming. You know who I think TJ looks like in the face?

If you really look at his face, especially when he's not doing his big fake smile, it's mainly when he's not doing his big face smile. It's mainly when he's not doing his big face smile. Potato. No, he looks like Dorothy. Svornak? No, Candice's mother, Dorothy. Just look at his face. I'm telling you, just look at it when he's not smiling and I think you will see it.

Just trust me on this everyone. You know what's so weird? I can't think of Dorothy's face, but I can think of her voice. Hear her voice, but not her face, which is weird. It's there. I get traumatized by people getting beat with verses. So that might be it. I might just black it out. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's my hot take. I would love to see if anyone else sees it. And now I have to look it up. Hold on, Ben. God damn it, Ben. If you that's my hot take. I would love to see if anyone else sees it and now I have to look it up Hold on Ben. God damn it Ben if he's smiling You're not gonna see it if he's smiling

But there were some moments where he likes was when he's not smiling and he forgets to smile He actually goes into a scowl, which I think is very telling he's like mmm. And so When he's in his scowl face, that's when he becomes Dorothy. I Can see it You see it? Here, yeah, hold on, let me pull it up so everybody can see what you're talking about. We're gonna share it with Crappas on Demand. Yeah, hold on, oh gosh, of course we've got a million ads

now that I have to pop off here, but yeah, let me share it too. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He doesn't deserve that. Why would you do this to me? Now I'm going to be thinking of this the whole day. Like why, why would you do this to this poor man? You know, he doesn't deserve that. Oh, that's Dorothy. That's Dorothy. Okay, so you want me to look him up now too? A lot.

Okay, so what's his name? TJ. That's all we know. Trader Joe's, it's a Trader Joe's sign. So you don't want him smiling. Okay. Not smiling like a serious face. Okay. Yeah. Serious. So do you see how, I don't know if this is totally supporting my theory. This image right here that you brought up really is scowling.

I know. I will find a side by side. She's very despondent in that photo. She just found out Candace left the show. I feel like these are similar vibes that they're showing off. Okay. They're vibey twins. I will come back with better evidence. When the time is right, I will come back. That's just funny. Okay, so Stacy is like, he's like, so I have to say, I really love this place

because, you know, we haven't talked about it, you know, and that's very cool that I appreciate. Yeah, it's, I think you did a great job picking it. You really don't know how to, do you know how to talk to anybody? Like, are you just this bad around women? Cause you're not nervous around women. Is he, he's just someone who has been doing the on air thing so long that they can't talk like a normal person.

I don't know if you've ever met someone like that, but like people who are just constantly in morning show voice and it's just they can't talk normally. They can't say like, oh, this place looks really cool. It's like, your place looks wonderful. I love what you've done here. We're going to have all the details on how you can get this look for cheaper tomorrow at 7 a.m. You're like, yeah, I'm friends with a school teacher. She's one of my best friends and she teaches young kids, you know, really young kids. And she talks like this all the time. So she'll be like, are we going out tonight? I can't wait. Where are we going to go? I'm like, okay,

get your kindergarten voice off. Okay. You turn the adult and her adult voice, it's not like she suddenly turns into like, well, hello, where are we going for drinks? Like she doesn't do that. But at least like, I feel like she's gonna change my diaper every time I hang out with her. I'm like, girl, drop the drop the kid voice. Okay, I'm 50. I'm almost 50 years old. Are you gonna eat all that? Good for you. That looks delicious. Oh, God, girl. Oh, God, that would drive me absolutely nuts. So sweet sweet though. I mean, it was really fun to talk to her about serious things.

She'll be like, you had sex with who? That's amazing. What was his penis like? I'm like, please be quiet. We're in a restaurant. Please write it out right here on this triple lined loose leaf paper. That's like my memory of kindergarten. Oh gosh. Upstairs, downstairs letters. Yeah, so anyway, I've never met anybody who talks like this, though, because

this isn't even morning show. I just want to repeat his sentence because I think it's extremely important because someone needs to study this guy. Because some people are like, he's gay. And then some people are like, no, he's not. He's just really Christian. And then some people are like, he's gay. And then some people are like, no, he's not. He's just really Christian. And then some people are like, leave him alone. He didn't do nothing, but not have sex. No, there's like a weird vibe all over this guy. So I'm gonna repeat the sentence so you guys can let it sink in with no inflection, okay? I have to say, I love, love this place

because we haven't talked about it. This is something that's very cool that I appreciate. I think you did a great job choosing it. Are you from AI? I know. It sounds very chatgy-peaty. It sounds very, very chatgy-peaty. So Stacy's like, I love my crash pad. My new space away from the complications of my divorce. It's a place where I can go and my husband's at home with Arabella. It's like my little sanctuary away from Arabella." And Stacy then says, so we're here in my new crash pad. So we're going to do something to mark this occasion. And I'm going to paint you and you're going to paint me. And then maybe I'll

give you a blow job. Just try to sneak it in there, TJ. I see you running for the door. Okay. It was just a joke. Just a joke, TJ. I meant blow on your soup. Have a seat. joke. Just a joke. Tj. I meant blow on your soup. Have a seat. The name Arabella sounds like a casino in a small town, doesn't it? Like Mariah Carey is coming. She'll be playing the Arabella. Or Mariah. I'm sure there's a casino in Idaho called the Arabella. There's also there was someone on Love Island UK named Arabella. And she came back for All Stars and she just kept on getting

dumped and every time she got dumped she's like I just don't understand like what is wrong I'm like a 10 out of 10 what are people doing this to me it's like are you kidding me I wish I could be there so I could be the host and I could be like ciao Arabella or I could be like bye bye or Bella. You could play something every time she gets kicked out. How about, error Bella? Error, you made an error. And now it's ciao Bella.

We'll have to, we'll reach out to Ariana, see if she can hook that up for you, with her love island connects. She's too famous now. I know, she's so famous now. love island connects. She's famous now. I know she's so famous now. She's like, she's so famous. She's president. She got nominated. She got elected. She won a state. So anyway, where were we again? Oh yeah, Stacey So she's like, Arabella. I just love the way Stacy says Arabella too. She really like leans into every single syllable Arabella. So she's like, so since we're in my new crash pad, oh yeah, so we're going to paint. Okay. And then we will reveal our portraits and then the winner gets something good. Season passes to the zoo?

Yes, season passes to the zoo. That's exactly what I was gonna say, TJ. Because everything is a childhood, everything is a childish thing, right? We're gonna paint and whoever does the best gets a prize. Then they talk about going to the zoo all the time. It's so weird. It's like, do you want a juice box or my box?

Juice, what do you want? Like Jesus, get an adult, please. So then he's like, I just want to go to the track and work out, let me guess you shower there. And she's like, wait, is that what you want to win? And he goes, yeah, what do you want? She's like, a dick, what do you think I want? A dick, I don't even care what the dick

would look like at this point. You could have a pinky dick, I don't care care what the dick would look like at this point. You could have a pinky dick. I don't care. Just give it to me. Give me some dick. He's like, the track. She's like, no, I'm sorry.

I just I want to give you a spa day. I want to give you a spa day. He's like, OK, so one of those spas, you go to the women's side, I go to the men's spa. Sounds great. No, no. Oh, my gosh. OK, I'm flirting with you, except this flirtation. He's like, hey, I am, I am.

Hey, look, I can flirt right back with you. I'm gonna open up some paint. Look at me twisting off the top, and I'm gonna show you that if you really wanna get a dab of paint, you stick this thing in it. And that was flirtation. He's like, now some people you stick this thing in it and that was flirtation. He's like, now some people like putting this thing in the hole to punch it until

stuff comes out of the hole. Personally, I like getting another tube and slapping them together until something happens. Wait a minute. Here's how we're going to paint. We're going to take these two. TJ, what are you doing with those tubes? Oh, I'm sending them to tube zoo. Do you have a paper towel? The tubes really like to work out and then go to the zoo. I'm flirting with you back. Yeah, you know, really mature sexuality jokes aside, there's just no sexuality here.

So just give it, you know, and that's okay. Some people just don't have very high, you know, everybody, there's so many different things that get you one that does, you know what I mean? Get the right thing. Don't keep waiting for something that's never gonna come. You ordered your food an hour ago, it still hasn't come. Go to McDonald's, you know what I mean?

Stop waiting for your food. It's gonna be inferior by the time it gets here anyway. It's gonna be stale, it's gonna be sitting under that heat lamp for an hour. You know what I mean? Stop waiting for your food. It's going to be inferior by the time it gets here. Anyway, it's going to be stale. It's going to be sitting under that heat lamp for an hour and want it, get a better plate. It's also, I think it's in combination with his cheesiness. He's like really cheesy, which is why everyone's like something is like off with this guy. And like it's one thing to be like, okay, I'm devout or whatever,

but it's like the devout and the super cheesy vibes that are happening. Everyone believes this is a front. So Stacey's like, TJ has been very clear that he is a devout Christian, so that means we are practicing celibacy. In case you didn't know, I just have to bring it up one more time in case you're wondering why I'm hanging out with a creepy ass guy right now with a giant smile that looks like he wants to kill someone when he's not on camera.

So now that I've been celibate for over a year now, it's been a challenge. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to the Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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He's like, no. She goes, Oh, right. Cause you don't drink, you don't smoke. He's like, and they don't, and don't they have wine? She goes, oh, you would like a glass of wine? He's like, no. She goes, oh, right, because you don't drink, you don't smoke. He's like, I don't sleep with you. I'll say it, there. That's what I thought you were gonna ask for, but I'm not gonna do it. Good luck to you. Am I right?

You're not getting anything from this. She's like, this isn't fun. Like, he can be Christian, it doesn't mean you have to. Let him pray, you know, it's freedom of religion, but it's your freedom to not practice. Oh, let him practice telepathy. You practice fucking. Yeah, exactly. So then she's like, well, could I ask for that for you to sleep with me? And he goes, listen, you can ask Santa Claus for new carpet. That doesn't mean you're gonna get it. And she's like, okay, well, that went that went downhill quick. He's like, Santa Claus would fuck you faster than this guy

Yeah, I bet you if you ask Santa Claus to fuck you he'd do it I mean, I think I have to you'd have to kind of wade through the foopa a little bit You know that that might be worth it older than Barbara, but still He'd do it by the way I do believe that Santa Claus does deliver new cars because hello There's a whole series of Lexus December to remember sales events that happen with beautiful red bows on top of Lexus's every single year On TV. So where do those come from a car dealership? I don't think so. Those are from the North Pole North Pole I'll take it

So Isn't there a whole thing who told? Did you tell me about this or did someone else? And I don't know if this is verified. This is, I think, just something that someone told me that like in the Mormon community, isn't there like some sort of thing where like the like, for people who are practicing celibacy or abstinence, they like lie naked on top of each other on a bed about the bed, a special bed that like vibrate back and forth. So it's like, they're not having sex, it's just the vibrations are causing friction. Did you, does this sound familiar to you?

No, I've never heard of that. That's so exciting. This feels like something I would have learned from you. So it's weird that I'm telling you. I don't think so. I hope I got that right. Yeah, I don't think I've ever known about a moving bed that makes you climax. I'll take it. I'm just saying that could be something for TJ because it's like he's not, he's just

lying there. He's not having sex. He's just lying there. And it just so happens that the furniture is moving. I love that you're like tricking God. God's like, wow, look at them just enjoying their time. Okay, I'll just move on. You know, all the hurricanes. God's like, No, I know I made that vibrating bed. And I know I made these two selber people that I guess they're just lying there. Okay, moving on. So they're joking about how he's not going to bang her. And

she goes, well, I guess that went downhill quick. So let's just have the next conversation. I'm going to catch her everything beautiful about you. Oh, those muscles. Yeah, I'm going to get those muscles. It's like, you're not going to get those muscles, but you can have fun painting them. So then they show each other their paintings and they're cute. It's like two five-year-olds did paintings of each other. And hers is basically a big penis and his is of like a no sign, like that goes over no smoking, but with a little stick figure

of a lady in the middle. That was his view. And then he burned it up. It was so weird when he lit it on fire and threw it out the window. He said it was too sexy. He called it a witch and that was done. Yeah. Yeah. It was awkward. By the way, I did look it up and the Mormon thing, it's called soaking. But I don't know if it's actually verified or if it's just an urban legend that it goes around. But for people who are like, Ben, it's called soaking and but I don't know if it's actually verified or if it's just an urban legend that it goes around but for people who were like Ben it's called

soaking that's what it's called soaking well I don't know I suggest no one look that up on pornhub because I don't think that's what's gonna come up yeah I think I think I think we don't want to see any sort of visual of two people just lying on each other while the bed shakes. Okay, so this was really sad. And then she's like, Well, I have to tell you, um, on our girls trip, they asked me about you in our relationship. They don't believe that you could, you know, be a man of God. They think, you know, that you're running game on me. What do you think of that? Please be running game on me. Please. Oh, running game. Is that like going to the track where we were going to run and then work out? God, I'm so glad they were talking about me. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for bringing me up on your girls trip. This is that now I know why there are cameras here. This is really working out well. She's like, so we

see flashbacks of Giselle asking questions about TJ and everything and the woman being like, okay. So TJ goes, listen, I'm okay with them saying whatever they want to say until they meet me. And she says, but you're going to meet them on Friday because Jassy is having an event for her Super Bowl winning boyfriend who she has sex with lots and lots of sex with him all the time. Wow. Hold on one second. Let me just imagine what that is like. All right. I repressed it. What were we talking about? We're going to celebrate him because he just won Super Balls. Oh, God, big Superballs. They're probably just ready to rip. Superball. Sorry. Okay. She says, it's a small get together. You're going to meet everybody. But when I say laugh, I mean, they're like, oh, they're going to really laugh. And he's like, well, guess what?

They're not making fun of us. Okay. Because I'm trying to follow God. So they're not making fun of us. They're making fun of God. And he says it so excited not making fun of us. They're making fun of God. And he says it so excitedly. He's like, they're making fun of God. It's all good. They're making fun of us. They're making fun of God. And she's like, okay, all right. Still horny. Still don't want to go to the zoo. Don't care who they're making fun of, because I have needs that need to be met. Okay, great. So then we go to Ashley's house and she's hosting tonight. And it's really cute. I don't know if she uses like a Siri or if she uses an Alexa, but I just the song that

plays now every time Ashley comes on, it's, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah wild terrorists, protesting something with iron bars hitting up against things. Put those kids away. Give them a Benadryl. I can't take anymore. It is wild. These are the loudest kids on Bravo. But also, these are kids who are adamant about spending as little time walking on a floor as possible. Last week we saw one kid on top of this SUV, and then this time both kids are just flopping around on the kitchen island. Now I don't know, is that normal for toddlers? Because my instinct was to say

they should not be on that kitchen island. Just sitting there flopping around, sitting just like they should be, if they're gonna sit and eat their apple slices, do it on a chair or the floor but not the kitchen island but am I naive is this like is this like a yes a kid a place where parents put their kids these days yeah yeah it's left kitchen islands yeah okay well that's fine if that's the way it is if that's the way it is that's the way it is okay I can I can be. My first memory in my whole life

was sitting on an ironing board while my mom was walking around the kitchen with curlers in her hair on the wired phones, you know, the big curly phone, in our avocado and orange kitchen. And I was sitting on the ironing board, probably while there was an iron heating up for it to do the ironing.

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? There was a kid in my elementary school who had like a big sort of like orange sort of like oval kind of like scarred or dark patch because he once thought the iron was a telephone and he picked it up and put it on like this cheek. That could have been you Ronnie. That's what I'm trying to say. I know. I didn't answer the phone. I was like an adult even then. It's like, I'm now. I don't answer the phone. I don't hate it. You're like, uh-huh. Back then, I was like, send me a telegram. I'm not answering the phone.

I'm not getting off of this ironing board. I'm busy. Anyway, Ashley's having Gisele and Karen over and she's making buckets of bevs and Gisele's there first. they're talking about how they need to talk to Karen because, you know, Karen has to do some court time. And then we see five days until Karen's court date and a screenshot that says, but the plants are the real alcoholics, don't eat, don't eat, time, time.

So, yeah, so Ash is offering some drinks and everything like that and, um, some beverages and they're sort of settling down and, um, she's talking about, actually starts talking about how she, oh, as she is saying, she offers up, she goes, do you want some olive oil and lemon, this olive oil and lemon drink? And just I was like olive oil and lemon. And she's like, she's like, yeah, um, it's supposed to be like good for her. I'm like, girl, that is not a drink. You're drinking salad dressing.

Olive oil and lemon juice is salad dressing. But does it work differently when you just drink it? I don't think it, I don't think it works at all. I'm going to say olive oil and lemon juice. I mean, I think they're both healthy ingredients. But I don't. It's like, she's like, yes, this new thing where you take lemon juice and mix it with olive oil. I'm like, yeah, I do that every single night when I make a salad. Literally add some dill and some pistachios. It's delicious. God, you're so fancy. God, listen to that salad. Dill, add some dill and some pistachios. It's delicious. God, you're so fancy. God, listen to that salad. Dill. That's some dill. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. First rule. First rule. Anytime I go to the supermarket, no matter what, even if I don't have a plan for it,

you always pick up a little thing of dill and you always have dill ready to go. And he throw it in that little Alison Roman dill. It's an Alison Roman salad. I'm telling you, I've been making it for like four years straight. It never gets old dill, pistachios, garlic, and this new magnificent health drink called olive oil and lemon juice. But I think this olive oil and lemon is something that the people who don't eat a lot of calories do because they don't get any calories. So it's like a way of getting your calories and your fats while also just not having to eat. And it's like what really thin people do.

It's like when thin people are like, oh yeah, I eat all the time. And you're like, oh really, what do you eat? They're like, oh gosh, nuts, peanut butter. So I tried that and I just kept gaining even more weight. And I was like, this is bullshit, you know? And then they're like, well, what else are you eating? And I would tell them, no, they only eat nuts.

They'll eat like a handful of nuts and that's it. They're like, oh no, you eat nuts because they're packed densely with calories. So you only have to have a few and then you don't have to eat anything else. Like who lives like this? They'll like purposely eat things, dense in calories. So they only have to eat a little bit. That's no way to live. Jesus. Yeah. Um, you know, it's funny. It's like if olive oil and lemon juice is like, if that's the thing you drink because you don't really eat very much, what does it say about the people who have just lettuce with olive oil and lemon juice? It's like, whoa, whoa. That's pretty intense that you're taking on the lettuce there.

Yeah, it's disgusting. You sloth. Gluten. Gluten, adding lettuce to the olive oil and lemon juice. Oh yeah. When people are like, Oh my God, you eat fruit. What kind though? Grapes? The worst kind. Well, watermelon. Watermelon. That is the worst. Bananas? Oh, bananas. Let me guess. For for vegetables you eat carrots. I'm like, yeah, they're like that you eat the Snickers bars of vegetables. That's actually what a Weight Watchers lady named

Janelle wants. Oh god Janelle. You know, I think I think you need to revisit the things that Janelle has said to you because you've carried them with you for a very long time. Well, every now and then Janelle makes Janelle Janelle shows up on this podcast. And you're like, Well, unfortunately, I can't eat that because Janelle told me and I'm like, you know what, I've heard about 13. Janelle shows up on this podcast and you're like, well, unfortunately I can't eat that because Janelle told me. And I'm like, you know what? I think it's time that we put Janelle on trial because I don't know if she's necessarily

right about the things that she has said. I don't think she's right either and I'll bet she's chubby too. I bet she's chubby now all these years later and fucking judgy, judgy ass Janelle. I'll bet she was like, screw that. I'm not listening to anything. I think she was probably like forcing us to do it. And then she was going home and eating M&Ms. Because guess who didn't have to weigh in? Janelle. The rest of us had to get on there and cry every week, but not Janelle. She's like, well, my nails might cost more weight anyway, because she had these really big long nails. And, you know, I don't

know. I never saw proof that Janelle was even following the program, honestly. She's probably at home right now eating a meatloaf and listening to Bruno Mars. Like, surely he's not talking about me. It's a different Janelle. It's you, Janelle. It's fucking you, okay? You traumatized my poor Ronnie with all your bad misinformation, Janelle.

She's like, this wouldn't even be me. He's not even talking about El Paso, Texas. Yes, I am, I'm talking about El Paso. Well, there's a lot of Weight Watchers meetings in El Paso, surely he's not talking about the one that took place on Saturdays at Zach White Elementary on Love Road. Yes, I am, yes, I am talking about it. Janelle's like, I mean, he was obviously a gay child.

I was just putting on a campy performance for him. Did he really take what I said seriously? I didn't even like Dick until you told me Snickers are only for gay people. She's like, I was just trying to be a gay icon for him. You are, you are a gay icon. That you won with. I love you Janelle. They'll never make me hate you. So let's see. So now they're talking about Ashley's mom and she's like, Oh, I put my mom on olive oil and lemon because she has heart problems. Don't give your mom olive oil to drink because she has

heart problems. Listen, people, you're not your own doctors. Ashley, that especially pertains to you. You don't give someone with heart problems. You don't have them chugging fucking oil, girl. She's like, no, she's on a strict vinaigrette only diet. We cut the fat out. We cut all that fatty iceberg lettuce. So then she's talking about, yeah, she's just trying to get her mom to be healthier. And, you know, all that sort of stuff. So now Karen shows up. And they're all eating outside. And Gisele's like, Oh, Ashley, well, I haven't seen popcorn with croissants before. So this

is actually a little different, but I'm here for it. Which is her way of saying, What the hell did you put out for us? Popcorn and croissants. did you put out for us? Popcorn and croissants. Yes. Yeah, my kids love it. So, um, she let's see, um, she has to get an Omni something some sort of a test, right? So then I mean, yeah, the mom. So then, um, Karen comes and, um, Karen's like, Oh God, look at all this food. I'm just so glad I came. I'm sure. So glad. Do you have anything I can put in my purse that's liquid for my plants? I'm really going through it right now.

They haven't grieved. They haven't grieved. Well, Karen, it's been so good. I'm so happy to see you. Finally, I haven't seen you since Lake Norman. Well, that was a lot, that Lake Norman baits. I thought, you know, to be honest, I was really disappointed in Mia and Jacqueline,

who are saying that I came to them for alcohol Rehabilitation and as she's like well, they said he needed help. Well, that's what Mia said. She's a liar She's an opioid addict. Oh, did I say that part? But anyway, she has a problem with opioids Anyway, I do hear that they based breaking bad off of her. So I don't know read what you want to read It's all on YouTube The Karen was stalking me Mia's YouTube to find evidence of her wrongdoing. Cause then we see the YouTube clip and it's from 2019.

And Mia's, oh, that was 2019. Why does it look like 10 years ago? Mia looks so different, right? She's like, I have an opioid overdose at a very young age and I was hospitalized for weeks. And then I decided to search for a more holistic form of medicine and I was introduced to chiropractic care. Listen, that's a sweet story and I do not believe two seconds of that.

Do not break opioid addiction with chiropractor. I'm sorry, but this is absolute crap and please don't people believe that. Okay, go get some real help. Mia is like a known liar. And I just always laugh when her lies surface. Okay, she says she had an opioid overdose at a very young age. So right now she's what like 37, 38. She was like, I don't know, she makes it sound like she was 12 years old when she had a you know, I'm not even gonna debate it because it's a little tacky to debate when she had her overdose. Well, I believe that she had issues and stuff. I'm just saying I don't believe that. I think it's kind of dangerous to tell people you healed that with chiropractor.

I just thought it was such a – I agree. I sort of chuckled because she's like, I had an opioid overdose, which is such a scary thing to say. You're like, oh yeah, I had an opioid overdose. Luckily, because of the joint chiropractic, I found a new way forward. It's like, really? Okay. Yeah. It's like her own cult type thing. So Karen's like, go ahead, look at the YouTube. Look at the YouTube channel. Fascinating stuff. Fascinating stuff. And Giselle's like, well, Karen's deflecting. It's so funny. Giselle, this whole scene was really funny. Everything Karen said, she'd be like, Deflection. And deflection.

Yeah. She's like, I just hope she doesn't lash out. And Karen was, well, you know what? I'm proud of Mia that she beat it. She beat the opioid addiction, you know? And, you know, but of course if you strike at me, I'm like an opioid that doesn't miss, okay? Cause I'm gonna strike at you and I will finish it. I mean, bottom line is, let me be very real right now. Let me be, normally I would like to say, let me be very clear, but now I want to be very real too.

So let me be very real right now. I have to protect my peace. Maybe not so much traffic medians, but I will protect my peace. I'm just as like, we know you have a big week next week. Huge. And Karen's like, yes, yes, yes, it's true. So how are you feeling? And she's like, well, let's be very real. Let me be very real right now. Completely transparent and real as real can be. I did nothing. And I'm in. Anybody else? I'm sorry, I can no longer speak about this.

Well, do you want some lemon juice now? I'm sorry, I cannot discuss beverages right now. There is a court case. We'll just have to put that on the back burner for right now. I just can't sleep. I wake up at three in the morning and I take raised balls off of my forehead and I say, Ray, please, please, put your balls on the ground. I cannot wake up another night at three in the morning being suffocated by your balls. Funny thing is he's across the entire room. Let me tell you, those things never stop growing. Men stop growing. But there are balls in their ears. Never. Is it the tripping bee with his balls or his ears? It's horrible. This scene is so funny because Giselle is just relishing with this fake...

What do you call this, Ronnie? You always say that. The fake concerned trolling. What's it called? Oh, concerned trolling. Which is like, so you have a court case coming up. Your court case. Which I Drunk driving court case. Your court case, which I'll mention again on camera. She keeps mentioning it just so gleefully because she just knows how uncomfortable it makes Karen.

So then Karen, of course, you know, this is what they all do to each other. So I'm just like, you know, just cracking up watching it. And she's like, well, you know, it's really hard when you want to open up, but legally you can't. You are legally not allowed to open up. Unfortunately, I have to keep all my emotions and thoughts and feelings repressed inside me because it's against the law to be open. So I can't say anything more. I'm sure you all understand America, but I've paid my lawyer and I've talked to Jesus. We good, we good, we good ladies.

Well, I just like, you know, I just, everyone has expressed how much we want the best for you and if you do need to go to a rehab facility, I mean, we can do that to you and we can hold up our cameras and watch you go in and we'll clap and then laugh afterwards. So, you know, anything you need from us. Oh, I know. And you know what? I really, really appreciate that. And you know, I'm here for you too, Giselle, because I know that Jamal was engaged. How are you feeling about that? Yeah, Karen is very happy to see us starting out in the snow with that. So I guess I'm going through a hardship. How about you, Giselle? Looks like your man found

someone before you. How do you feel about that, God? You're so lonely and sad. How's it feel to know that you're going to die alone? How's that feel, Giselle? I've always got to shut my person in case you just need to be put down, Giselle, out of your misery. Like a broken horse and no one's ever going to ride again. How do you feel about that, Giselle? You know, soldiers have little cyanide pills, and when things get too tough, they just can eat that and just go down quietly. Maybe you would like that someday, when next time you try to go out to e-harmonate, you get no responses. Take the pill, Giselle. Take the pill. Go towards the light, Giselle. You're useless on Earth. How

does that make you feel, Giselle? And Giselle's just like, deflection. And she goes, well, I knew it was coming. And I'm happy for him. I told him to get married because you know who needs to get married? Pastors and politicians, which are basically the same thing. I love that she has that in her head. It's like pastors and politicians. That's who needs to be married. Yeah. And they also, a lot of cheating going on.

Yeah, a lot of cheating going on there. So then Giselle says that basically Jamal took the girls to dinner and said, by the way, I'm going to get engaged. And the girls were shocked because they didn't even know he had a girlfriend. So it just went from like, I have a friend to we're gonna get married. And she goes, you know, different strokes for different folks. So she's like, Why didn't you tell me? Why wouldn't you tell me I have to get this ammunition from a newspaper? And just I was like, Well, I don't even think about it. Like, that's Jamal's life. I'm with the best for him. I want him to be happy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah. Drunk. Are you drunk right now? And Jiren's like, well, the bottom line is I want you to be happy. This is your time. You're like a plum. It's just about to turn. So juicy. And tomorrow you're going to be just a bruise. You're be one bruised leaky plum to sell. So keep enjoying life by yourself. Leaky plum. So- I had a leaky plum with my friends the other day. Can you tell how some knowledge- I was like, damn, plums get really nasty. People can always tell what's going on with our lives based off the random references

that we make. It's never an accident people. Never plow. You're like a turkey that hasn't thought yet for friends giving. So now we go to Wendy and her family. They're going to like lunch because graduation, some of her kids have graduated out of the camera, graduated out of kindergarten or preschool to kindergarten. One of the kids is now going to go into middle school. The whole family has gotten together. They're all coming in. It's Wendy, Eddie, her mom. There's another guy there. I'm assuming

that's Wendy's brother. I feel like he didn't talk nor did he ever receive a chiron, right? Or maybe he received a chiron and I missed it. I don't think he ever spoke. He never said one thing. And I was waiting too. I was like, oh, sure. And because they would show him and it looks like he's going to open his mouth, but then nothing happens.

They put him right in the middle too. It's like the mom was off to the side, but like it was all about the mom this scene. But they put the brother, like just in the middle. I was like, oh, no, oh, no, no talking. No. So yeah, the kids are graduating from stuff and they order their food and the daughter is like, how long is that going to take? Yeah.

I was very impressed that Cameron, the daughter, Cameron is like obsessed with escargot, which I think is hilarious. She's like, give me the snail. She loves that slimy snails. And so then they start talking about this white party that they're going to have. And the mom's like, well, I may show up in a different color. And she's like, mom, please do not come here with anything else but white. And she's like, I love a theme and I love celebrating Dr. Wendy.

And then we get a montage of how many times when we celebrated her birthday. And over and over. And I culminate with her with her saying, not only am I in my 40s, I got four degrees to and everyone's like, can I grumbles? It feels like grumble mumble and out. So Eddie's like, okay, grumbles. It's just like grumble mumble and out. So Eddie's like, well, you know, this was, the party started as an idea and now it's turned into a second wedding.

And Susan's like, is that why I'm not getting my allowance this month? And she's like, well, mom, since that's all you care about, I will then mo you $500 right now. So she does. And Susan's like, four days late. Oh my gosh. You know what? You know what those stickers that say stop elder abuse? That's where these come from. Probably Susan made

that because her allowance was late for a few days. You better stop the elder abuse. I won't take it. So now Wendy, Wendy tells us that in Nigerian culture, the parents raise you but then when they get older, you're supposed to take care of them. And her mom does not care about any of Wendy's expenses. Her mom is basically always there. I started the month with her hand up and like, okay, time for allowance.

Come on, where's my $500? You know what? I think you probably deserve it. Once you get to a certain age, after the hell that your kids put you through I think you deserve a few a few dollars back. Oh hell no no way. You're gonna say that. No way. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew you'd be like absolutely not. Yeah I remember when you kicked me out when I was 15 screw you you're not getting shit you're lucky I buy you M&Ms occasionally. I'm just kidding guys. If you ever need it, call Ben. He's very giving. I will. I'll take care of your parents.

So Wendy starts talking about how for this white party that they're doing, that they invited Eddie's side of the family. And you know, there's all this, all these issues with Eddie's side of the family, because, well, I don't know, it's just these issues with any side of the family because, well, I don't know, it's just stuff that goes by. It's between both halves of the family. They hate each other. Yeah. They hate each other and it goes back to their village and like them calling each other evil or something. I mean, there was something back there. I forgot the whole story.

Like there was one of, I forget the whole story. You know what? I'm going to bungle it. So sometimes it's okay to just be quiet because I don't really remember whole story. You know what? I'm going to bungle it. So sometimes it's okay to just be quiet because I don't really remember the story. But it was something back to their village and it carried over to here and it's not good. So they've never come to anything. The wedding, they don't know the kids, any of that. But now they're mysteriously going to show up. And so she's like, are they coming in peace? Because you don't really know because they could be coming to be like, you've been talking shit about us on TV for five years.

So we're just coming here to tell you, fuck you on camera, okay? Stand up for ourselves. So I'm kind of hoping it's the latter, just because that'll be more fun for us. Yeah, I'm really excited about that. Yeah, but they basically have not been showing up to anything, so they are intrigued to know whether they're going to be coming.

And so then they're talking to the kids and he's like, well, by the way, congrats to the graduates. We're very proud of you guys. You've achieved a lot. And this is just the beginning. And Wendy's like, and you guys can do whatever your heart desires. My only requirement is a master's degree. And then if you don't get your master's degree, please understand it is written in your trust fund

and you will not get your money. So you decide, do you want the money, the trust fund? That's up to you, which is kind of funny. And it's like, my first thought was like, I like that. She's just like laying down the law, but then Susan's like, why are you being so soft? An option, you're giving an option? Yeah, I was like, oh damn, Susan's like, Susan's

taking it to the next level. Yeah. And she goes, this is not how to raise children. This is the option. This is my seed. I press success on their lives. And I say, Holy Ghost, fire. Holy Ghost, fire. Yes, Susan. She's like, it's not like, it's not like if you choose not to do this, you're not going to get money. It's like there is no choice. You are doing this. And then she finishes her ad. She's like, holy ghost fire. If you succeed, I succeed and you'll be sending me my monthly allowance.

So thank you. It's cool. And he goes, thank you. That was a beautiful prayer. So now we go back to Ashley's house and now the kid, this is when her mom comes over and the kids are like crawling all over everything. And she's like, okay, mom, well, you know, we're on this healthy journey together, right? So I made you something is called balsamic balsamic and grape seed oil. Enjoy. It's like, mom, I just work together on this health journey. So any resource you need for

me. Well, besides, I really only got olive oil and a lemon. But you can have some olive oil. You want some more? Mom, drink this olive oil. She's like, do you have any arugula? No, just olive oil, that's it. So they're talking about how her mom's like battling heart disease and everything, and she wants her mom to be healthier, and she's talking about her divorce. That's the thing. What did you say?

Her mom's not really battling heart disease, so she may have it, she's not battling it. I think battling it's when you're like, damn this heart disease, I'm gonna fix this. Sheila's coasting heart disease. She may have it, she's not battling it. I think battling is when you're like, damn, this heart disease, I'm going to fix this. Sheila's coasting heart disease. She's like, eh, I've got it. It's there. That's kind of what I'm like when the doctor, you know, whenever the doctor tells me something, I'm like, well, what are you going to do about it? They're like, well, you need to make some lifestyle choices. I'm like, lol. Okay, well, see you soon. I'll be sure to get my will in order. What kind of

joker are you lifestyle changes in the dark the doctor takes off his mask. Yes, Janelle. Oh my god She's like got you up and tracking you Here's what you need to do. Here's what fixes almost everything more than prescriptions even lower calories Peanut M&Ms. So what to put inside of you? Nothing. So Ashley's talking about her divorce signing papers soon, it's gonna be happening soon, finally. And she basically, do not believe her and she was like, well, you deserve to move on and have someone in your life. So then of course, Ashley turns it around. And she's like, well, I love hearing you say this because that's exactly how I feel about you.

And she's basically like, you deserve to be with someone better than that garbage boyfriend that you're still with. Now, when we see a flashback of the, of Sheila, and you know, the issue is Sheila and her man. That was from 2018 when we started talking about this. It has been six years that Sheila, I mean, and prior to that had been like 10 years, but like I can't believe it's been six years since we first heard about this guy and she is still with him. I, it's very sad.

It's sad, but it's like watching someone sit crisscross applesauce in the middle of a crosswalk. Like, what do you want from me? Get up or I'm running you over. Like, I have to get to the home goods, okay? Like, you're making the dumbest choices I've ever seen in my life. And I like that Ashley actually said, like, listen, I'm a single mom now and I cannot take care of her ass too. Like, she gives her man all of this money, she works 12 hours a day and now I'm supposed to take care of her? Hell no. I like how they planted this right above the Wendy's, you know, right after the Wendy's scene where Wendy's scene is all about how you have to take care of your mother. And then we get to this one, Ashley's like, um, you better find a man who can take care of you.

This is not Dr. Wendy's house. She's like, I don't want to take care of you. Um, and so she's like, so is he helping you financially? And she's like, he has recently started. The answer is no, and he has also not recently started. We know he's still doing whatever he's doing. He's done nothing. Yeah, you can tell. And her mom's just smiling plastically, like, okay, I think I'm gonna get this over with now.

Because Ashley loves to have people over and then throw them under the bus. The camera, she loves it. That is her thing. It's her love. And her mom's just like, oh, so you told me you wouldn't do this to me today. So then we go over to the Willard, the famous the Willard. Yes.

The hotel named after a prominent weatherman. But yeah, this is the big reception for Darius that Jassy is throwing. And I think this is hilarious because Jassy is very funny to me because it's clear that she really enjoys the role of being a football wife, even though she's not a wife. But she becomes very prim and proper when discussing Darius and this event. And she goes, I am so extremely proud of Darius and being honored at the White House was really a moment to celebrate him. I'm excited to see these ladies. You can just see she's like, she gets a little, she sort of puffs up a little bit and she's like, we must act proper right now. It's hilarious. I love when the

Real Housewives do this kind of stuff. I'm dating a famous person. That's what she's basically doing. She's like an accepting an award from all of us for dating Darius. You know, not only did he get to go to the White House for the second time, he also impregnated about three women while he was there. And I just couldn't be prouder. I just couldn't be prouder. But that all happened before, during and after, but mainly before I met him. So to answer your question, we were on a break. We were together. We'd gotten an argument and it happened at about lunchtime. Then we got back together at dinner

time. But I didn't know about those children. So I only found out after the fact, even though they're still baking at the moment. Yeah. So yeah, this is kind of sad because she's acting like the First Lady when she's most likely, I mean, I don't know, but I mean, timeline wise, it looks like she stole some man. Well, you shouldn't say steal, right? Like, you're not supposed to say, she stole a man. She helped a man escape. What would you say? She drove the getaway car for the man who impregnated somebody twice? Or was she like having an affair with this guy and then he finally left the lady after the second child? I don't know. It's hard to figure out the timeline

what she did. But it's not above board. We know that much. And just so that she's having a fancy party at the Willard acting like the first lady and it's kind of embarrassing. Like the last lady. She's not being called that is because he's rich and gorgeous. Yes. Yeah, no, she's not being called that is because he's rich and gorgeous. Yes. Yeah, no, she's definitely doing First Lady on her position is third or fourth. So, um, so everyone's showing up. So ink walks in this is like inks first. Like, this is inks first scene, I think with the other women. So Giselle's, they're at him because he is short he's our short king and Giselle's like well Karen said he was DJ Applebox and

yep she's right she just starts cracking up DJ Applebox is so so rude so rude so great Ray's not tall either isn't Ray like a little shorty too? That's funny. So then Giselle is telling Ink, she's like, so way here, things are going well between you and Gordon. And he's like, uh-huh. And he's like, oh, let me tell you, when we're together, there's nothing but love. You'll see in a scene coming up. It's amazing. It's like truly, truly the greatest love of all. Whitney is going to come back just to it. I mean, it is amazing. And he's like, yeah, I mean, if we're operating with love and he truly loves his kids, he'll understand that.

And that's what we're all trying to do. Make the kids' happiness the priority. Well, specifically my kids' happiness, not Gordon's kids, because it's not Gordon's. So then- I love when he's like, what we're really here to do is make the kids a priority. You were fucking the kids' mom in front of them.

Like the daughter said to you, why is mommy sleeping with ink? Give me a break, you're making the kids a priority. You fucking liar. You guys are terrible. You are so shady and gross. And then Mia, the ultimate gas lighter. Hi Gordon, you're so sad. Gordon,

look at you, Gordon. He's sad. So then Ash, at one point, he takes off, he's wearing sunglasses the entire time, even though they're inside and he's not famous like that. And so then he finally takes them off. So Ashley, she's like, oh, I don't think I've ever seen you without your shades, which was totally passive aggressive. And he's like, yeah, it's kind of my thing. And he's like, nah, because you know, he's like incognito. You're just recognizing ink, isn't he, on the radio? I'm just like, this is, you're not like Diane Keaton showing up in a shirt and tie, okay? Like, relax.

You're also not very incognito. You're not like Michael Kors in his black blazer and black t-shirt. Okay, you're so incognito that no one knows about you. So like, let's like relax on this front first. Yeah. Yeah. So Kieran and Greg arrive and then Jassy is like, well, I don't want to hype shame people but it's another one who's shorter than I would have met. That's not fair when you're dating a seven foot tall person, okay? Your man took all of the height for all the other people, you know? He's like the top 1% and you're like sitting here making fun

of the 99, you know? That's not fair. Also Greg is taller than Kierna, I'd like to point out. So they are like, it's only bad if you're a boy. I'm no, but what I'm saying is that like, like Jassy is like height, shaming Greg, but like Greg is proportional to Kierna. You know, normally the issue is when the woman is taller than the man, that is like traditionally something that women seem to like that. The common feedback is that women don't love that. And in this case, I'm

saying Kieran and Greg, it's not an issue. So I was like, Jesse, shush. You like you said, you listen, you already are are dating a very tall muscular person. Don't make fun of don't make fun of the shorter social worker. Why? It's like Heather Dubrow making fun of a poor person. You know what I mean? Like you're worth millions of dollars. And he's worth millions of inches. So then Karen and Vivian arrived. Vivian I love that Vivian came on the show and I was like, No, this is I love Vivian. Vivian arrived. Vivian, I love that Vivian came on the show and then was like, no. This is crazy. I love Vivian.

Vivian shows up. Vivian shows up every other week for five minutes, that's it. I feel like Vivian is very elegant. I just love, she just shows up. She just seems great and she's just, like you said, she's like, no, I'm not going to ruin my reputation of this bullshit, but I will show up at the Willard.

This is more my style. So Kay goes up to Mia and she's like, Well, Mia, I want to clear up a few things because I realized some things were said in North Carolina saying that my man was a drug dealer. It means like, okay, go ahead. Hold on. I'm gonna, I'm gonna shuffle some imaginary pamphlets and make sure they're straight while you're talking because I open a chiropractic.

I have to shuffle imaginary brochures anytime I get a craving for an opioid. So Kieran is like, well, it was like very disrespectful to him because he's not a drunk dealer. And then he was like, well, are you talking about your ex-man or your new man? Because I said one of them. And she's like, no, you said my boyfriend's a drug dealer and that's what you said. And just I was like, okay, so that man over there, you see you can't say that about him because he's like a social worker

and that's detrimental to put it out there if he's not a drug dealer. I think it's detrimental for most people if you say that anyone's a drug dealer, but that's okay. I think it's even detrimental for drug dealers. Actually the most detrimental, because it's actually true. You could send them to jail. And Mia's like, well, okay, he's not a drug dealer.

The last boyfriend was a drug dealer. We know that he's a social worker. Yes, very much so a social worker. So you can just tell. Look at him. Yeah, she goes, yeah, you can just tell. Look at him. Yeah, she goes, yeah, you can look. Look at the way he just comes up to Darius's belly button right there. That's classic social worker. Also, Mia totally, she totally is

gaslighting here because, or just lying, because in the flashback we see that Mia's like, how about you talk about your drug dealer boyfriend? And now she's like, no, I never said I was like, no, he's obviously the sole other one. And I'm sorry to disagree. But actually, when that I remember this happening, she said, what about your drug dealer boyfriend? And she said, my drug dealers, not a boyfriend. And she goes, what about the last one? Mia said, yeah, well, what about the last one? So Mia was just using some old gossip. And Kay, I think knows but she's like, still though, fuck you.

And Mia doesn't care. She's like, Hello, Nibby, I will swat you away and not care about what you're saying. You are not getting a fight for me. Because Kiernan tells her and she goes, Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. He's clearly a social worker. You can tell by his band he's insured. I never should have implied otherwise. Now does he have a wardrobe gimmick as well or is that just my boyfriend? So then TJ is like, wow, your legs look so good, lady that I know. And she's like, thank you.

Oh my God, I hope our Chiron says Stacy and her piece of man meat. It's like Stacy and her friend. She's like, darn it. So he comes in and he's like, hey. And he does this thing that when he shakes someone's hand, he comes in really high at first and comes down. His hand can just like, goes boom, like a roller coaster.

He does this swoop down. Whoa, what's going on? I was like, Whoa. So then he's like, Wendy goes, Oh, this is Stacey. I'm sorry. So Stacey's like everyone. No, I'm sorry. Wendy is like everyone. This is Stacey's man. And he's like, that's right. I'm the man. Yes, we're gonna go to the zoo. What's going on? Zoo and then the track and then the showers. So then Wendy's like, oh my God, you said it for the first time ever you admitted to being her man.

He's like, oh yeah. And Wendy's like, TJ is everything I thought that he would be. There's nothing sexual going on there. The moment I met TJ, I knew immediately that man is not sexually active. And it is funny because he does have like youth pastor energy, you know, like, Whoa, taking a van ride. We're all taking the van ride to white sand. Sir,

hills made out of sand. That's why. So, um, uh, she's like, so Stacy's shared that you guys are friends, that you guys have like a really good friendship. He's like, yeah, nothing. No funny business ever. We just got closer. She's like, Oh, and Eddie's like, well, you know, a lot of times great relationships often start with a great friendship. And he's like, right? They have to, right?

Because after that, it's just physical boring. Who cares about physical? What I'm talking about is going to the zoo. Am I right, everyone? High five. Who wants a high five? No five, any five. Come on, zoo people.

And Ashley's like, Mayday, Mayday. She does say, what do you guys do together? I guess, well, how about this? We just went to the zoo yesterday. What do you think of that? My God, listen, man, I know that you're not having sex, but you don't have to kill my boner. Jesus. Listen, I know you're holding a lot of stuff in right now, but why are you going to a place

where you got to hold the animals in too? Go to places where things roam free. You're holding a lot of stuff in right now, but why are you going to a place where you've got to hold the animals in too? Go to places where things roam free. I guarantee you that man is holding nothing in. That man is fucking somebody. There is no way I don't believe for one second that this man is celibate. He just wants to be Fame Horry and take off Stacey's fame. He's not, he's fucking somebody.

He is definitely, definitely trying to like do some coattails action here, fame-wise, for sure. He definitely looks like someone who's getting laid. He's very happy. I think the scene he looks like he's just been laid like 50 times. It's like, hey, never felt better. Not fucking that one. Ha ha, zoo time, all right. So Jassy's like, well, oh, so now Darius arrives and he's got his teammate Prince with him. Who's a Prince? Look at that, who knew? And they're all, Jassy's asking the Prince if he's single.

And she's like, well, I do have a couple of friends that are singles, so I wanted to make sure. we've got Ashley. If you date her, you've got Gollum basically visiting you every day threatening you in a funny accent. So that's super fun. Who else you got? Giselle's like, Wow, that's our Mahoosh. Yes. Ha ha ha. And then Wendy's like, Oh, Darius, how was your visit to the White House? How did that go? And he's like, yeah, it was good. He talks about like how we talked to President Biden and everything. And he's like, yeah, the food was better than last year. I can say that. They're like, oh, cool. Like we didn't need to know that much. So then Jassie's like, okay, everyone, let me do a toast.

I would like to thank you all for showing up from my amazing three-time Super Bowl over 5'8 champion Darius. Darius, can you tell the shorter men what it's like to be as tall as you? Because I think everyone would love that insight. Okay, anyone? Darius has never not been able to ride a ride. Everybody, let's give him a random apply. Darius has had to go through so much in life. I mean, so many bruises on his forehead when he accidentally walked into ceiling fans and door jams. It's something that very few of us will ever be able to understand. Not only has Darius made it through all of this, but he was the first toddler to ever be able to ride the Matterhorn. Guys, let's give him a random applause.

Worth two Greggs, his name is Darius. Darius, you're tall. You know, people may not know this about Darius, but he has incredible knee flexibility from all the times he's had to fold himself up just to get into a standard size car. Everybody's like, wow. And she's like, you know what, I just like to say in this life you guys, what's for you is for you. And no one can take it away. But the mother of his children doesn't feel like that. But nice speech lady.

Yeah, nice. And then she goes, so cheers to my man. I was like, oh, there she is laying the claim. I'm surprised, oh, there she is laying the claim. Laying, I'm surprised she didn't do the old. She's laying it on Vic, huh? Yeah, she's like, he's mine. I'm surprised she didn't do the whole like, ladies, please no drama. Today is about Darius, my man, who won a Super Bowl,

who's famous, who makes me adjacent to Taylor Swift. No fighting, please. So everybody's cheers-ing. and so Mia goes over to say hello to Karen saying, Oh, Karen, you look so nice. It must not be raining because you actually look dry for one. Think Karen's like, Hmm. Well, hello. So does Al told me we're coming after me and you are in no position to be coming after anybody maybe. Okay.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If we're going to have this argument, let us stage this a little bit better. Come on over to this table so we can sit down and all right, ladies, I just want to make peace. So I did share Karen what you said about Mia. I did not add any hot sauce. I just laughed a lot and said, go fight with Karen at Jassie's event with this information. Nah. And Giselle, you know, we see a flashback of Giselle saying, Karen said you had to go to rehab for opioids. And Mia is saying, I didn't go to rehab. I ended up in the hospital because I overdosed. Big deal. And then we come back and Karen's like,

Well, honestly, you've been on me like white on rice. I've not been coming from you. Well, I'm telling you how I feel. And that is how I feel. I thought we were friends. We are friends. I said, Well, yeah, but now I hear you're saying that I went through rehab. Yeah, you started it.

You've been on it. I can't believe you would accuse me of going to rehab when you're the one who obviously most needs to have rehab. It's like a rehab accusation fight. So she's like, and if I didn't go to rehab, I'm woman enough to say I went to rehab, but I did not go to rehab. I went to the joint I overdosed and then I went to the joint chiropractic. overdosed and then I went to the joint chiropractic. Well, you went to the hospital then. She's like, yeah. That's when I got introduced to chiropractic care. They asked her about her opioid addiction and she's like, oh gosh, it was right after Josh. She was born because of the cesarean and so I got addicted to the pills. Then I went to the holistic room And that's why chiropractic

came into play because when you get your routine chiropractic adjustments, it removes the pain that's inside of your body and you never need to take medication. Okay. Sure. All right. Bravo's really trying to sell us a lot of bridges lately. We've got the chiropractor bridge. We've got the Scientology bridge. What else are you guys cooking up over there? I know, right? So, Karen's like, well, so it's not too far fetched for me to think that you're in rehab.

And Gisele's like, well, you were being messy. She's like, well, I was returning. I was returning to serve. Gisele's like, well, can we just get past it? But if you don't start shit with me, there won't be no shit. It's like Andy Burrows said. And he's like, I'm not coming for you, Karen. I love you.

And if I do come for you, it'll be with an ambulance because I really love you and probably a straitjacket, you know, because you need an ambulance. She's like, well, your love is very strange, girl. She was, oh, it's real, it's real. I have so much respect for you, Karen. I know what you're going through. It's really hard. I really, really knew. I mean, I just wish you could find chiropractor for yourself. Fucking addict. I just wish that when we were in Lake Norman, I could have put you down on that bench and had someone snap your neck around in half at my first ever joint chiro practic. But unfortunately, they had no idea who I was,

so we had to leave that right away. So she said, as a friend, sometimes your friends will always tell you everything that you wanna hear. And like, I'm not a yes friend, I'm a liar friend. Okay, and you know that. Oh, yeah, Karen. And Karen's like, you are messy and you're not supportive. Now that can change?

Well, probably. Well, there's hope. I'm gonna say that you're wrong and I'm wrong for now for going low. So everybody there, I said it, I'm wrong. Everybody, where's the applause? Where's the applause? I've been wrong before. Not often, but I was wrong for about five seconds, Sam. I'm very sorry for going low and I just want to make a promise to every woman here at this table, I will go low again. I will do it. I will do it. I will do it quickly and I will do it lower every single time because when you go low, I return the serve. I mean, he's like, well, I'll go lower. She's, oh, we know how low you go. We just met him.

And Ashley's like, can I be on ground zero? Just be on ground zero. And he's like, we're on ground zero. And she's like, we're on ground zero and she's where the balls hang lower. All right. I mean, she goes, well, I like balls. She goes, oh, well, you know all about balls, don't you? Oh God, she's at ball level. That's where she is.

And you know all about low balls. It's like, well, no, okay, well, I'm not the one. You know about, well, you've been on a lot of public balls. How about that? So it doesn't matter. You may have normal heighted balls, but they are public public for everyone You might as well be on the MTA Ballline right now Profession professional ball person and she's like, yeah

And so Ashley's like, uh, cuz that's just devolving into gibberish. You know, so Ashley's like, I think we made progress. She was like, yes, they actually did. This ball discussion is actually a good sign right now. So, um, now Mia is talking about how Karen's court dates coming. So she's just going to give her a pass on that one. And so Mia goes over to ink and they're like, what happened? And he says, what happened? And she's like, oh, a pass on that one. And so Mia goes over to Inc. And they're like, what happened? And he says, what happened? And she's like, oh, nothing, it's not even worth it.

I'm completely unbothered. Wah, wah, wah. So then we go to lunch with Karen and her cousin David. Yeah. So this is the scene where Karen is going to make a case for herself that she was drunk driving because she hadn't really moaned yet. So Karen's like, oh.

So much has happened. It's been started with the taxes. How they did not send a clip of the tax press release. The tax press conference scene is beyond me. That was sorely missing from this. Shame on you, editors. Shame on you. But I do appreciate the deer in the opening of this episode, so thank you for that.

Lots of deer. Shame on you for this. So she's like, oh, oh, cousin David, I haven't seen you since the morning of my accident. Actually when she first walks in, she's like, hello, handsome, sexy man, who are you? Are you single? Just kidding. I'm actually your cousin. That was a disgusting joke if you think about it. She's like hitting on him as a joke.

So she's basically tells him, apparently he was on the phone with her when she got into the accident. So he started crying because that was traumatic, you know, because you know that Karen was like, oh my God, there's three deer standing in the street right now. Which one should I hit? He's like, Karen, don't hit any of them. He's like, fuck all of you. And then just boom, boom, plows into all three. It

just turned out to be just one. And he's crying because he's very upset. And she starts her load of crap basically, like, I've been so stressful and I've never mourned. Karen, we've seen you mourning for three years. I mean, that's not to take away the pain. I don't think that kind of pain ever goes away. I'm not saying that deflection though. Come on. It is a little I agree. And and so yeah, she's like, oh, well stress have so much stress, the silent killer. And so you're the silent killer. You are the silent killer. You don't get to call things a silent killer when you ran over a deer.

I am so sorry, David, that you heard the crash that Gisele probably caused by adding more stress to my life. Let's be honest, it wasn't my fault. It's all those girls, all those evil, evil girls. I'm so sorry, David. I know this was difficult for you. Yeah. So he cries and she hugs him. She's like, we're blessed. We're blessed. So then we go to Mia and inks and ink is just winning children over how you win them over. He's like, guys, you want to surprise it's sugar. They go fucking crazy. They go crazy. Nia's kids are so sweet. And so lovely. It really is heartbreaking to know that this is gonna to eventually really

affect them. And like right now they're just innocent and they're just, they're just very loving. You can see they just, they just are full of like so much joy. And so they're like hugging ink and everything. What'd you say? Almond joy. Yeah. Ink is like everyone. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't. Am I right, kids? Which one do you want today?" So they're like, you know, Jeremiah's hugging him and everything. And it's just so sweet. So then Gordon comes in and he has like, co-parenting to me is a top priority, just behind gaslighting Gordon. But we're getting a divorce. And sometimes, you know, there's just like no boundaries. It can be a little uncomfortable. It's something that we discussed with Gordon. soon there we have it.

You were fucking this man while you were married to Gordon and you're sitting here complaining about boundaries? What are you talking about? You are so nuts. You've been carrying on an affair with this man for years and now you're going to talk about boundaries? You are something else, ma'am. Although it sounds like Gordon signed off on it sounds like Rome was like, look, go, go get banged somewhere else. It's fine. This is our arrangement. So I don't know, like it may not be quite as cut and dry as that.

That's still cut and dry because she ditched the arrangement the second Gordon lost his money, which I guess would be him cutting the arrangement. Either way makes for some telling. It's just funny listening to Mia Brutten. All this is like totally normal. And she's like moralizing every two seconds. Like, oh my God, he's really, he's really fussing with the boundaries here. No, Mia, you don't get to say shit like that, lady. So she's like, Gordon, can we have a conversation about telling the kids about

the wives? And he's like, no, no, I've said many times I'm not going on camera to discuss this. And Ink's like, hey, I feel I missed something. Gordon's like, did someone say something? Is someone in here? Oh yeah, that's Ink coming around from the kitchen island so Gordon can see you. on Kitchen Island so Gordon can see you. He's like, oh my God, is that the phone book? I've been looking for that thing. Could you give that to me? It's like, sorry.

So Gordon's like, this is between us, not you. And I told Mia, I'm not filming with you when you and I are together with the kids. I'm gonna be cordial, but I'm not going to basically is like, I'm not going to act like this is all cool with me and normalize your fucking relationship on TV. Because that's totally what she's trying to get them to do. Look at us. We're just a happy little family. Gordon's here. Crazy Gordon. We're taking care of Gordon and the kids. Isn't that crazy? Gordon, you want a cookie? Gordon, you want some sugar? She's like putting a shock collar on him. It's like, it's like, well, look, I'm not

trying to push to do anything. What I'm doing is supporting my lady who I guess was your lady, but my lady now. And what I'm doing, okay, like is I am here for co-parenting reasons. But even outside that, you know, we get along Gordon, I don't have an issue with you. And Gordon's, I mean, it's like, yeah, we have a lot of work things. We have to work things out because we have to figure out what's best for our kids. Maybe not hashing us all out on TV, Mia. Yeah.

So Gordon's like, I won't do it. I'm not gonna make this okay. I'm not okay with it. And Ink's like, well, I don't need your promotion, which, you know, blessing understanding. And Gordon's like, Well, I didn't ask you to I'm not about enriching enriching this situation. I mean, it's like there are children involved. I don't care. But he is around children. So you should not want to know what sort

of man is around your kids. No, it's like, technically, one of them is my children. So you should not want to know what sort of man is around your kids. No, it's like, technically, one of them is my kids. So Gordon's like, well, when I look at him, I see a person that has had adultery with my wife. I also see a person who's trying to separate my family. And that's what I see when I look at him. I was like, this is so this is so dark. This entire scene is wild. Yeah. And inks like, oh, that's crap. That's crap. And he goes, Oh, that's not what she said. And he goes, Oh, wait, wait, timeout. You guys were already in an expired situation. Oh, it was expired, wasn't it? Just the time ran out on it. He had his time with the library book. And now it's up. What the fuck are

you talking about? And Gordon's like, Well, what about you having an affair with my wife? And shortly after we got married, she got pregnant and had an abortion because of you. Okay. You know what? I was like, this is wild. So wild. And so he's like, Well, that's my first time hearing about that. And he's like, and by the way, not affected at all. Gordon's like, he's like, Yeah, you know, you had an affair with my wife, and she had an abortion because of you. So he's like, yeah, you know, you had an affair with my wife and then

she had an abortion because of you. So he's like, he's like, yeah, I did not know about this. So Gordon's like, and did you have two affairs with my wife at least? I'm like, is it two affairs or has it just been kind of one long continuous affair? Because let's be honest, this thing never stopped. She was having an affair when she married you. I think it's pretty apparent now that she's always been with ink. You were the affair. She just got married to you. Yeah. And he Gordon was having an affair. Also, wasn't he wasn't he with Mia?

Or it's married. Wasn't he married when he met? I don't remember. There's so much messiness between I assume so which is terrible. But I just assume the older guys, that's what they're doing. Yeah. Generally. Trade them in for the younger model, the younger show woman. Ballroom stripper.

So, Gordon was like, so Mia's like, well, understand the circumstances, Gordon, because you were going through something. You were so so poor Gordon Does anybody have something Gordon can suck on he's losing it again everybody She's like, well was there adult me adultery committed? She was well, I was willing to make it work and stand by your side It's just not fair. You know what you put me through what you put me through was not normal and she's like, okay You know what? I'm done here. So he's going to leave. So he leaves. And Mia's talking about how she's been in this relationship that she's wanted to leave year after year after year, which I believe,

actually. And she said that because of his illness, she would stay in the marriage. And she's trying- Sorry, is his illness money? That was called you might want to rethink that sentence. He has to get to a point where there has to be some level of self accountability, you know. So now she's like, Oh, my God, my mind is blown. I need like a moment. I need a moment. And he's like, Look, just there's kids in the room. I you know, we don't want the kids to hear all that. And she's like, I know, we don't want the kids to hear all that and she's like I know we don't want the kids to hear that profanity you were fucking their mom while they were in the house you know what are you talking

about this is making me crazy this moralizing like they're like oh my god we must protect the children you two are the ones that fucking wrecked all of this for the children what the fuck are you talking about taking crazy pills do you think anybody I haven't read a whole lot of comments and stuff this season, do you think people are falling for this horseshit of Mia's or do you think they're just like, oh, Mia's gross? I don't know. It's so funny because this is quite the scandal, but I don't feel like anyone's really invested in it. Everyone's just sort of like fascinated and amused, but like, no, I personally have not noticed a lot of people whipping themselves into a frenzy about it., but like, no, I personally have not noticed a lot of people

whipping themselves into a frenzy about it. They're like, oh, okay. Well, let's see that it is or a Teddy Mellon camp. So let's do this. Yeah. Interesting that in other, I feel like in any other show, this would be huge. This would be a huge scandal, but I just feel like with Mia and in particular, it's like oh but it's Mia so like of course you know like nobody's surprised it's just like oh there there's a Mia storyline you know yeah and she's yeah she just is like I guess the issue that I have is because the shelter you know I've sheltered the kids and I don't want the children to be privy to us figuring it out although I'm pretty sure that she said preview to us figuring it out. Although I'm pretty sure that she said preview to us figuring it out, which was funny to me. She's like, the kids don't even know that you and I are

like an item. Yes, they do. And she's like, they just think you're my best friend. And that's what I wanted to talk to Gordon about while the kids are here. Like if you didn't want the kids being previewed this information, you could have done this at a restaurant. Yeah so she's basically like she's saying like she's lived 11 years this craziness and you know like you know like on you can't influence me any longer I'm not a 22 year old girl I deserve happiness I'm gone and that's where the episode ends for the week. And that's where the episode ends for the week. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Well, that brings us to the end of the Real Housewives of Potomac. We will be live with Kempire tonight

over on our 530 Pacific Time YouTube live show and Instagram live. So check it out there. And if you missed it, the audio will be up later this week. Just join us live every other week. Also, that's it. If you want to watch this go to Patreon. Want bonuses, go over there and we'll see you next time. Guys, you know what? We love you guys. Okay. Bye. Bye guys. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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