Watch What Crappens - #2625 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E07: Tender Disses

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Emma mops a hell of a lot on this week’s Below Deck Sailing. Oh wait. Sorry. Emma mopes a whole lot on this week’s Below Deck Sailing after almost crashing the tender. My bad. Also, Gary tries to teach people things without his penis out and Danni gets rejected by the most boring man on Earth before the boat almost crashes. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. And Audible makes it easy to be inspired and entertained as a part of your everyday routine without needing to set aside extra time. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalog. Explore themes of friendship, loss, and hope with remarkably

bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audio book is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Watch What Crappens! Oh, well you know me too! Watch What Crappens! Guess what happens when there's so much that happens! Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! A podcast for all the crap we love to talk about. I'm ye old bruvs. I'm Ron Dol. It's my name. Guess who I'm with. Ben.

He's so sweet. Hi, Ben. How are you? Hi, Ronnie. how's it going? Good, just you know, an average day of buzzsawing going on in the background, things being chopped up, people being dismembered in my house because this place is almost done. Everybody, we are on Crappin's On Demand today.

Hi video people. And we're also doing a bonus this week, which is gonna be fun. We've also got an extra recap this week because Beverly Hills returns. If you wanna watch all these videos, get all our bonus episodes, et cetera, et cetera, join us over on Patreon, okay?

That's where you do that. It's easier now, simple, one easy monthly charge. It's not a bunch of bullshit, okay? So go over there and do that. And if you don't wanna pay, you will still have access to all videos on YouTube. So go join our YouTube. They're just coming out a week later, okay? But if you want them immediately to pay, you will still have access to all videos on YouTube. So go join our YouTube. They're just coming out a week later.

Okay. But if you want them immediately, get your ass to Patreon. There's no way around it. And I think that's it. We have a great week coming up. We're so excited. And we have a great Below Deck Recap coming your way in five, four, one second. Here we are.

It's Below Deck everybody. Below Deck S deck sailing, another season, another boat crash, you know, just the standard standard below deck sailing activity. Also, it's another charter and they still have not yet figured out the concept that at the boat tilts, everything falls out of the cupboards and crashes. It's just still like still working on that. Still working on trying to figure out how to not make They all blame, they all blame Glenn too, which is so funny. Like they all get mad at Glenn. Daisy's like, Glenn, can you stop telling me go down? Well, no, it's a sailing boat. You know, what are you going to yell at Walt Disney for being decapitated? It's Disneyland. That's his heads in the freezer somewhere. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. That's the nature of where you are. Yeah, exactly. Just his head throws up somewhere, right? It is. But you know, I'm sorry that caught me off guard.

Because I was like, I forgot. That's like the thing with Walt Disney. I forgot. That's the thing. You froze his head. I forgot too. I forgot genics. Yeah. And you know what? Probably in our lifetime, they will reanimate that weird little head. It'll come back to life and he'll be like, Oh my God, hi everybody. I was dead, but I paid 500,000 whole dollars. And now look, I have a new life. I'll be like, $500,000. That's nothing charging more. First of all, I appreciate the

pun of him being reanimated. Second of all, I would love for Walt Disney to come back to life. And he's like, all right, everyone, I'm back. So let's get back to it. Everyone, pitch me your ideas for a hand-drawn animation feature film. So some things have changed. Yeah, Walt Disney would be canceled in two seconds,

let's face it. He'll be like, you know what I miss? Song of the South. Let's do that one again. They'll be going, oh. Do you know my screenwriting professor in college wrote Song of the South. What? Yes.

Wow. And then he was blackballed. It was the whole blacklisted. Yeah. I was going to say blackballed. Wow, that took a twist. Yeah, it took a big twist. So yeah.

So just happy to announce that my screenwriting professor was blackballed. listed. Yeah, so. Blackball. Wow, that took a twist. Yeah, it took a big twist. So yeah. So just happy to announce that my, my screenwriting career has fascinating foundations. Well, that explains a lot. He was like 85 years old. His dad started MGM. He was, he was like, Oh, okay. Bronwyn's husband. Interior! That's the inside of something!

Oh, Jesus. Rest in peace, Professor Rath. Speaking images, not in words, but write down the images and words. Got it? Go! So, did not expect that we were gonna go down this path before we dove into blood. Walt Disney boo boo pre animated Walt Disney had get rid of him he doesn't even have a he doesn't even have a wiener anymore get rid of.

Okay, everybody welcome to below deck sailing got this is called my super sideways 16 which is cute. And it's just another episode where, you know, if there's someone that Gary does not want to stick his penis into, they magically become terrible at their job. You know what I mean? I feel like you would be much more complimentary if you found this chick hot. Now that said, this chick is extremely Lay Lay. She's so lazy. Oh my God, you've got time to mope. You got time to mop. Okay. Yeah. She is lazy. She is lazy. We've loved Emma, but she is extraordinarily lazy. I think

the difference is that if Gary saw a romantic spark there, he would have more patience with her and maybe like teach her more or motivate her more or like care to motivate her more. But since he's not going to be banging her and you know, he's like, well, she's over 23 so that pretty much makes her an old hag and untouchable. So therefore Emma, are you going to wipe that down? No, I don't know how to motivate her then. I only motivate people who are going to be penis. If that doesn't work, I don't know what to do.

So it's the last day of charter. Diana just told Keith about Danny's kiss with Gary. Daisy's having a choice with Cloyce about his work. So Daisy's like, I think that things are a little bit lost, meaning they're coys. And I think the dinners need to be a bit more elaborate. And I think we're in setting the bees, the sun's going down. Romance, am I right? I just want it to be more like, wow, elaborate. And I think we're in setting the bees are the sounds going down. Romance. Am I right?

I just want it to be more like wow, this is the most beautiful plate I've ever seen. That's 20 full pitas in the basket. So Cloyce is like, yeah, I'm definitely working on it. And you know, I have a track record of general success and professionalism. And I have actually frequently called and called the most reliable chef on the west coast. Yeah, but like being the most reliable chef you can go to McDonald's and that's gonna be a reliable food. I don't think reliability is what we what you like want first from a chef on a super yacht. I think you want like innovative, good, excellent, high taste level. Reliable is just like okay you can make omelets. Reliable is just like, okay, you can make omelets. Get old reliable, Nathan. You know, here's the thing. I love reliability. I've never had it, but I love it. And I prefer that a chef who makes claims like that about himself has citations.

That's what I need. I need footnotes. You can't just say, I've often been called the most reliable chef on the West Coast. By who, sir? I need quotes, and I need like little by Rolling Stone or something underneath, like a movie poster. You can't just be saying, you get all this credit. You're 22. No one has said that about you. Everybody has just said he's reliably the youngest person with a Republican haircut, Republican congressman haircut that we've ever seen on the West Coast. That's it, you don't want anything else. Being named most reliable chef, that is like beyond a consolation prize

because as a chef, you are supposed to be inherently reliable. So you shouldn't get any extra prizes for being like extra basically, have an extra basic quality of your job. It's like, I'm the most able to understand the difference between salt and pepper. So being most reliable, to me that sounds like

the sort of yearbook superlative that the yearbook council comes up with because they wanna honor someone but they don't have anything left to say because most successful and best eyes or nicest smile has already been taken. So they're like, I don't know, most reliable? Sure, we'll give that to Cloyce successful and like best eyes or nicest smile has already been taken. So they're like, uh, I don't know. Most reliable.

Sure. We'll give that to Cloyce because everyone else got something. Oh, poor reliable people. They're like, damn it. I've worked so hard to be reliable and Ben just ripped me a new one. You know, I think in the world of Sheffield, I'm going to say most reliable is a consolation title that he was given. Cause like everyone else in the boat clearly got something and they're like like, ah, Cloyce, you're the most reliable, I guess. Reliable, making cool kids.

Except when it was like, think your kids, right? Cause on this show, the chefs always like, got a kid somewhere that nobody ever sees. Yeah. So I guess they're all, maybe they're reliable in the kitchen, but I don't know all around reliable, you know? No offense, chef.

I meant, I meant in terms of just for cooking, and not in terms of personal life or presence with family. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So then he's like, yeah, I'm great. So for someone to have even a glimmer of confusion about my abilities is new for me. I mean, they're wrong.

So how are they wrong? You fucked up like multiple charters in a row. Get it together, sir. Go dye something with some cabbage purple. You micro-wiped a cake. No, go fuck with some cabbage purple and some acid. Okay? Get back to me, sir.

Well, you do have the most important job on the boat, even more important than the captain, because I mean, look, based on Captain Glenn's record, it's apparent that anyone could drive this boat, right? It doesn't take an advanced degree to crash into a rock, which is apparently all we do. So you have the best of them, John. I mean, if the boat starts sinking, we need somebody who can drive a croissant, and that's you. It's like, okay, well, hopefully it'll get better. So now it's time to arrive at the port and everything. And so they're heading towards there.

And then this one lady, this one guest, she was like a brat the night before. And now someone else drinks a, someone, one of her friends has a glass of orange juice and she's like, fresh orange juice. And the other lady is like, I'm pretty sure I think I saw coming out of a box last night, but that's like so cute that you thought that.

And then we see a flashback of Danny juicing the oranges. Danny's just being a butt to be a butt. Danny is sitting there like slowly juicing one half after another. And the lady's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's Chompacana. So yeah, it's cute. What a dick. So then, um, everybody's docking the boat without Emma. Um, cause Emma's, you know, moping somewhere. And, um, so see all these like, this was such a great experience.

Like I can't tell you how relaxed I was on this trip. I was able to sit on a trampoline and have cocktails. So I appreciate it. Thank you guys so much. I would prefer plated. She didn't do the I would prefer plated thing, which I was impressed. Like, yeah, she's a fake. You know, you know who I don't want? A fake dentist. I want a real dentist. I want someone to open my mouth, shut me up and be like, Ronnie, here's your problem. And then just read me to filth for an hour

because that's the only time I really have to listen to advice because they've got my mouth in use. That's actually fair. I mean, like the, I'm always afraid of being yelled at. Oh, did my, my camera just quit? No. I'm always afraid of being yelled at by dentists. my camera just quit? No. I'm always afraid of being yelled at by dentists. It's like twice a year. I'm like, okay, just get ready to be yelled at by your dentist. And they never yell at me. I just always assume that I'm going to get yelled at.

Oh, the assistant. I shouldn't call her the assistant. The dental hygienist or whatever. Oh, they give me shit all the time. Like, oh, really? It's been 12 months since you've been here? Really? What have you been doing? I'm like, staying at home eating fucking candy. What have you been doing? Get off my ass. I don't work for you. I'm paying you to be here. You know what I mean? You should be like, Rodney, nice sweater. Have you lost weight? Even when I haven't. Like, yeah, you're on the clock. Nice sweater. Say nice sweater. What I'm just saying. I see. I want a fake dental hygienist, but not a fake dentist.

Yeah. Yeah. My dental, I had a dental hygienist recently who was a little too real with me because her name was Marla and she, she was like, she. And she was the one who was like, she took my blood pressure because I do that. And then she was like, oh my God, your blood pressure is so high. Like, I'm not even sure I could proceed. And like the dentist came in and was like, it's fine Marla. Marla was like freaking out.

And then they were like, did you have some sort of procedure recently? And I was like, well, I just had an appendectomy. And Marla goes, an appendectomy. What is that again? I was like, okay, Marla, you know what? I did alarmist fucking Marla over there. Marla, stop it. You made it. You made it. Thank God. We just didn't know. We just didn't know. Did you see the light? Did you go towards it? I kept telling you, come back, man. Come back. Marla, we were drilling his goddamn molar, okay?

Jeez. Where are they all going to go down? Where are they all going to be soon? Okay, we got, I think I give it three hours until we get to the Mexican border before they arrest us. Like Marla, it's okay. We removed the cathody. So now it's time to turn the boat over before the tip meeting.

And Emma's like, Oh God, I just don't know why they didn't wake me for the talking. You know, I could have been up there, standing there, my arms crossed, looking at things intently. But instead, here I was all alone like the outcast I was. You know, did anyone from the crew, did any one of the guests pick someone from the crew they'd like to fuck, marry or kill because everybody wants to kill me at all times. Is that what they said on their way out? Was it tip? Here's your tip. Get rid of Emma. Might as well throw her overboard. The fuckless wonder Emma. Just throw her off the useless

breasts. Just get rid of Emma. Like Jesus Christ, you were taking a nap. Stop yelling at people. Yeah, you should be refreshed. So she is, after having taken a nice long nap, she now goes and sits down on like a little sofa area thing and Gary is like tying his shoes to go do work. And she's like, these laces are not, they're not good for laces that you're trying to tie.

And he's like, yes, they're so shit. Okay, well, let's get sorted with doing work with our bad laces. Okay, we don't want to work today. Let's work. And he like goes off and she just sits there just staring off at like a wall. It's like, all right, well, I tried my best. I wonder if other boats had nicer laces. Is it only my boat that is cursed with inferior laces? I can't take it." He just like clunks down and goes back to bed on the desk. So now Glenn's like, okay, right, fourth charter, another in the can, done, dusted, which this boat is about to be in about 10 minutes. I just love the standard we're reaching. But like that,

let's just always keep pushing guys. Gary, not you. Okay, keep it in your pants. Decent talking. That was perfect. Okay, Daisy, you're great. Daisy, I just love your smile. Give me that smile. Both corners of your mouth, Daisy. She's like, I'm smiling, right? I'm smiling. All right. Well, she tried. All right. Everybody's great. Every one of you is perfect. Except you, Cloyce. God, what a fail.

Huge massive fail. In Canada, we'd call that. Yeah. I think you had a little bit of trouble with this charter, mainly that you basically only served them some Kit Kats and old muffins for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So this time I want you to really focus on prepping a little bit better and I want you to think outside of the box. I know we just want to have a very high standard. So in conclusion, no swimming with the guests and serve more than

family style. He's like, yeah, okay, cool. Low is leveling up, leveling up. He's like, yeah, that's what I want to hear. Leveling up. Yeah. So Cloyce is now patting himself on the back. He's like, well, I don't really think of myself as being one of those ego-driven chefs, but like, we know one of those, but Daisy's and Glenn's constructive criticism is kind of ruining my whole day. And I just, I prefer not to be in this situation. It's like, well, then So well then don't like spend 30 minutes serving up like a scoop of ice cream to people celebrating their wedding anniversary or their engagement, whatever it was.

Be better, be better. The thing is I really like Cloyce and I think he's taking all of this pretty well, for getting slapped. Because a lot of chefs would be just losing their shit by now, but he's like, okay, maybe I can do better. But you see that budding ego for later seasons. I'd like to check in on him 10 years because I think he will be throwing dishes across the room with people and I need that. Yeah, I need that.

So it's not weird. I'm like, he's doing so great. I'm so proud of him. I wish he was meaner. He really cannot win with me. So Glenn's like, okay, and I know you're anxious to hear the trip amount. The tip, sorry, the tip amount was twenty two thousand teeth. Just lots of teeth. Some are yellow, some have holes in them. But, you know, they told us we could sell them on eBay. So good luck, everybody. And you all get a tiny little plastic bag with a cartoon tooth on it

that has an oral toothbrush and a very small small almost unusable amount of floss inside. Okay enjoy! Oh finally a little oral on this boat am I right B? So now they're like uh they're all gonna go out tonight but it is a it's a school night they're not gonna go crazy and Gar's like oh so we're going to have a good night tonight this we're going to party and she's like oh yeah you're excited yeah I guess so I don, so we're going to have a good night tonight, we're going to party. And she's like, oh, yeah, you're excited. Yeah, I guess so. I don't think anyone's going to argue. Oh, well, fine. Well, there's always tension between us. Garrah, why don't you help me clean these things?

Why aren't you putting the dishes away, Garrah? Why aren't you serving the guests? You never helped me out, Garrah. And he's like, this is what we have here is a situation ship. She's like, oh, fuck off. I'll see you later, Gary. I live in Daisy Flirt. So then we go to Charter Number five. It's the preference sheet meeting.

And Glenn's like, OK, this is Hop Charter. You just hear pounding against the wall. Not you, Danny. Not you. All right, so Sherry and Philip Jaffe and their older daughter is Eva and her best friend Carson and their youngest daughter Lana and Addy and a stylist named Brandon who looks sort of like Lisa Rinna. Okay, they're looking for a family vacation celebrating Atlanta's Sweet 16 on Parcifal. Wow, you know, it's so great.

You know, it's about time that kids realize the joy of being able to celebrate such a milestone age on a boat that's gonna actively sink on them. That's wonderful. Finally, we found a way to keep kids off of their iPads and their telephones, get them a charter for their birthday. So, Coice is like, classic. So I don't know what that meant.

I guess he just meant like little rich kids getting a sweet 16 on the boat. I guess so. And Daisy's like, in Ireland, we don't have a sweet 16 through the birthdays are a big deal. From my 16th birthday, I went to an Italian restaurant. I got shit faced with my friends for the first time. I think my friend fucked somebody in the bathroom. Certainly wasn't a super that I totally see this all happening.

Just go into some random Italian restaurant. Like a Peter Piper with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole time at 16 red sauce on her cheek because she's so wasted. 100% spitting pizza dough all over you while she's smoking at the same time and getting shit faced. Pasta lasagna! Oh god, she's wasted. Ma'am, would you like any though?

Oh fuck off! Alright, so we've over served the 16 year old. Hey guys, why does that 16 year old look like a 47 year old lady with boxed wine in a paper bag under a freeway Why she's sticking her hands in the platter of meatballs It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories

of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to the Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants

and real estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. And soon, investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus.

You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today. So they're gonna be celebrating Alana's sweet 16 party with formal white glove service, which is what every teen wants when they turn 16 white glove service. Talk about Disney, huh? Make your mouth use it.

Get some plastic gloves and bring the stick out of her butt. Cause like who wants that at 16 white glove service? Jeez. And then afterwards the parents are going to go out to a, a business top nightclub. So it's like, okay, honey, congratulations on this milestone birthday. Your sweet 16. See you later, bye.

You stay here alone on the yacht while we go party on shore. I love these parents. They're rich as hell. They're like, let's go on a cruise. Oh, it's Alana's birthday. Oh, okay, well just bring the game. He'll babysitter. Let's go.

Pretty much. They're like rich as hell, but also Minnesotans. So you have like that like Midwestern, but also rich thing going on, which is a great combination. The mom's probably my favorite. I love her. And she's played by the Gone Girl lady. Who's that? Who's that actress? Wait, Rosamund Pike?

Yeah. She's just like Rosamund Pike. Rosamund Pike doing a, she's just like Rosamund Pike. Rosamund Pike doing a Minnesota accent. Yeah, yeah, hun. I'm so glad you get to do it. You're having so much fun, hun. So Emma's like, oh, God, after the tip meeting, I feel like they all hate me. Don't they? Don't they just hate me? Could you do a poll? Go ask everybody who they hate more, Emma or these laces? poll. Go ask everybody who they hate more Emma or these laces. Don't let your insecurities push out like that. Because I don't want to I don't want that to be a bad vibe at all. So in an effort to improve the dark cloud around me, I'm going to just

walk out to that deck and slouch over and stare out at the sea and say what? Nevermind? Oh, nevermind. What? Nevermind. So they're going to dinner and Cloyster's like, I'm going to spend my whole time writing out a dinner menu for Charter to show that I'm making an effort. And he's like, you actually cannot 100% bring your homework out to dinner.

He's like, I've got to you, man. I'm going to prove myself. I'm going to prove myself. I'm going to prove myself. And we're going to put on a show and save this boat. I'm like, oh, geez, kid, just don't serve family style. You know what I mean? That's like it doesn't need to be this difficult. The notes are pretty simple, sir.

Yeah. So but by the way, they should be wanting him to do his homework because he's going to be the key to them getting a better tip. So I just would let the kid play, write whatever he wants to write down at the table. They're all really touchy about it. So now they're all going to dinner and everything. They were some espresso martinis and things like that.

And then Keith is like, Danny is flirting with Keith again. And she's like, are you going to date me up? He's like, what's that? I don't know if I'm cool enough to know what dabbing me up means. Ha ha ha ha ha. So they have more of their lame flirtation. It's a handshake. She's like, you gotta shake it. It's like that. Because look, we have a thing, right? Me and you, we're vibing, right? Forgetting that she was just making out with someone else last night. Like, girl, you can't pass around, you can't pass yourself around like an hors d'oeuvre tray and then expect somebody to treat you like an entree. And that goes for you too, Gary, although Gary's not really looking to be treated like an entree, I guess. Gary's more of a

golden cross sloppy kind of a guy. Yeah. I think he's just aspiring to be one of those platters from Costco with the sandwich wraps with the cream cheese in the ham. Oh my God, that's what I want to be. Because everybody loves those. They are so good. That's what I want to be. I want to be a sandwich wrap. Everybody gets a piece, but nobody necessarily comes back for more, which I like, you know? Yeah. Like take a piece of me and then go away. Yeah. Yeah. So, um. That made me feel sad.

I know. That got, you said it in such a cheery way, but then when I really listened to what you were saying, I got sadder. Me too. I'm like, God, Roddy, geez. Okay, so then he's like, what's a dab? I'm not cool enough. And she's like, it's how you make it cool. There's gotta be loose, you know? Like the looser your chakra is,

the more like, less you give a fuck. Oh God, now she's bringing up chakras. This is like so desperate I feel like this is what desperate people do like oh my god, what's your sign? You're so Leo right now What's your third chakra up to a I read chakras if you had a the comma sutra I was like, oh my god if this girl pulls out a drawing of like people in the scissor This is her go licky paper white position. I'm going to be very upset.

He's like, you've been in LA for too long. Cause whatever this is with Danny, it's starting to feel like work and not fun. I'm like, tell me about it. We've been watching it for like six weeks at this point. Okay. It's definitely not fun. And it definitely is work. And he's like learning that Danny's gets Gary.

Like it's not banter. Like it was the beginning. Yeah, but like our chemistry free banter is now chemistry free and laborious. That's just not fun anymore. Yeah, it's pretty much the same. It wasn't fun before either, okay. But also maybe now that Danny's more like work,

you'll put some effort into it. You know what I mean? That's like, oh, he's like really bad on this boat. And so he's over it now, you know, because people want to feel special shocker, huge shocker there. So then, even if you're thinking, take it guys, just fake it. So chakra. So now Emma is, she's telling us, Oh, God, Gary and Keith, you know, maybe I should just move forward and meditate. But I've just got I've been known to be a petty bitch on occasion. Here's one thing you don't need to do meditate.

You're you're in walking meditation all the time work. That's what you need to do. Yeah, I'd have to agree on that. I think that's not maybe the best the best plan forward. I would say, pick up a shammy and wipe something down. I think that's gonna be a little bit more effective. Yeah, shimmy-dub-shammy. You got time to shimmy, you got time to shammy. This is what he's waking up to. He's like, ah, waking up to a more evolved place. Let me turn on the radio.

You got time to shimmy. You got time to shimmy. Although I'm sure the shimmy shammy was a good thing. Where you free as my head. I want to go back. Take me to a different time. Oh my god I would love a real housewife whose like backstory was that they were cryogenically frozen and then now they're back you know like that would be like a liam lock and like I was born in another just because I was born in another, just because I was born in another century doesn't mean I was born yesterday. It wouldn't 100% be you.

Yeah, that is the best. Well, they attach, unfortunately, they attach my body to a giraffe. So I do have hooks. I'm the first hooved housewife, but I am a fully functioning woman. Listen here, I'm a carning cave man. You play with me, you're gonna pay. Unfortunately, they gave me two left arms. So if my hands look a little skewed, that's why.

Leanne, could you get in the shot? How am I supposed to get in the shot? My neck's in the trees. You get a bigger goddamn tree. Man, they go in the house, so I have vacation, she gets stopped by security, like, ma'am, are you trying to smuggle in something metal? No, those are just the staples. I keep my neck attached to my body.

Go through this every time. I guess that makes me a terrorist. Thanks, Obama. No, but she's from a different century. Thanks Obama. But she's from a different century. Thanks James Madison. Sorry, I used the Obama of our years. It's the sticky place in the future. Oh, oh. It's both in the future and the past. In the future, someone who was frozen in

1812, but had a mouth like Leanne Locken is unthought. All right. So now, yeah, so Keith just kind of rejected Danny, right? And now Emma's all depressed. So Davida is talking to Cloyce and he's like, so have you done it? Have you done it? Have you done it? Have you done what you are looking for? Tell me, what is your progress? He's like, yeah, it's much better. I'm doing a lot of good job. So, you know, listen, there's been two charts in a row that have sucked that I'm gone. So I got to make this one really good. So I'm thinking, buy a cake, microwave it, but then this time toast it. And I think that's going to take it to the next level.

And Keith is like, you'll crush it, bro. You'll crush it. Would you like to dab with me? So then Daisy's like, I feel like the course is really taking my feedback on board. Look at him using crayons there to come up with ideas. That's a big effort, but like, dude, put the fucking sheets away. All right. It's an Italian restaurant.

We're ready to party. Mom, suck my dick and get me a wine. I love Daisy taking all the credit for Cloyce improving when it was just because the captain reprimanded him in front of the entire crew. Like that's why he's doing it. Cause when Daisy tried to tell him something, he was like, no.

But then when he gets publicly shamed, he changes. And Daisy's like, look at the good work he gets publicly shamed, he changes and he's like, look at the good work I do. I'm such a good motivational speaker. Yeah. Public shaming wins the day every single time in life, you guys. Next time you're having an issue with somebody, shame them publicly. You know what we should do for a bonus episode? Make a list of people we want to publicly shame and then just go in. Yeah, sure. Doesn't that sound fun? Yeah, I'm looking at you neighbors sending around, sending around a sheet for everybody to sign because your daughter doesn't want to deal with a one way

street on her way to work. That's saving all this literally lives. I'm gonna get you. Is that a thing that's happening in your world? He climbed up the hill the other day and he's like, I'm your neighbor. I was like, oh, jeez, you know, because you know, I that. I'm like, close the gates. Just kidding. He's like, well, you know that new one-way street, I hate it. I was like, well, actually,

it's so much safer because the streets are like, they're like six inches wide up here. I'm like, I think it's maybe safer. He's like, no, my daughter hates it because she has to go around. I was like, well, we all have to go around. He's like, well, whatever. I said, well, you've been here longer, so I'll sign it. But then he left and I was like, hey, I was just pressured. You signed the petition. Well, I mean, look, it's not going to change anything. LA has got enough things. LA has enough issues that it has to deal with it. The last thing that

they are going to care about is reversing the decree to make a road one way. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you can't even get a bar built these days. Okay, let's go on and that's really important. That's more important than public safety. So after dinner, they go up to their back on the boat and then Danny and Daisy, Danny and Keith are going to go up to the hot tub to hang out and everything. Cloyce decides he's gonna make some squid ink ravioli. I don't know if that was, I guess that's probably for the guests. I was like, I thought it was for him, but I think it's for the guests.

So he's a Danny. You know, it's a man, you know, he's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna be real fucking fancy and whip out some squid ink ravioli to try that captain whatever buttons. Listen, we know this is a one charter moment for him. This reminds me of when I was a kid, I was afraid my parents were gonna send me to sleepaway camp, because my parents kept on saying, we're gonna send you to sleepaway camp. You need to go to sleepaway camp.

And I like was deathly afraid of going to sleepaway camp. So anytime it came up, I would like then go into the kitchen and I would like do all the dishes. And I was like, look, this will show. This was, I'm gonna change. I'm gonna do all my chores all the time. I mean, chores I don't even wanna do. Because that way they-

They just don't want me. No, I just was afraid to go away. And so I was like, maybe if I just showed that I'm like really responsible, they won't do this to me. And so I'll just go and I've like washed a bunch of dishes. And then like the next day I'd be like, ugh, I don't wanna do dishes anymore.

Like it would last for 24 hours of me being judicious. And guess what? I got sent to sleepaway camp and guess what? Guess what? It was like one of the best experiences of my life. So you know what? Sometimes. Yeah, I mean, where else do you get laid?

You know, I definitely did not get laid, but I did have my first kiss. I had my first kiss with someone named Kate in the woods. It was very romantic. Mine was with Elizabeth. I always wondered what happened to her. Oh gosh, she probably married to some gay guy. So let's see here.

So now- Elizabeth Vargas. I would, oh my God, I would marry her right now. So Keith and Danny are flirting. Well, she's trying to flirt. And he's like, don't look at me like that. She's like, you just look like croissant dough. I can't help it.

And she's like, I was about to say the same thing. And he's like, you had your chance. She goes, what do you mean my chance? And he's like, you had your chance with me. Honestly, mate, I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you straight up. Now tell me, do you really want to love me forever? If you hadn't hooked up with Gary, oh, oh, I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you straight up. Now tell me, do you really want to love me forever? If you hadn't hooked up with Gary, oh, oh, oh.

And she's like, what do you mean? That was just a thing. It was just a thing. OK. I mean, what? What's the big deal? It's like it was just a thing. And then he rejected you because it would still be a thing. And you would be blowing off Keith right now if Gary hadn't given you the or he. Oh, sorry. Maybe all that. Yeah. All that may be true.

All that may be true and is true, but now on the flip side, I think Keith saying you had your chance. Shut up, Keith. She was like, you were the one who was sitting there doing nothing for the longest time. So don't be like, oh, you had your chance and you blew it. She was literally trying to actively blow you.

And you were like, no, too much. And now you're gonna sit here with your hamster nipples exposed to the stars complaining about how she had a chance and she blew it. No, he was flirting back with her, but she was also hitting on that young guy at the club. And so he was just like, what's her deal? She just, does she really like me or does she just want to bang everybody that she sees? You know, so he was just being cautious with his heart. I mean, God forbid. And that's fine, but just don't say you had your chance.

Well, she did have her chance. Someone told me that at the time. They were like, well, you had your chance. And I just thought to myself, I know, but you're like that last donut in the shop that's complaining that nobody ate you. Like, am I supposed to apologize for you? You were a donut that didn't look good. Like, are you really trying to guilt trip me? Yeah, maybe next time we'll have the donut. Maybe next time I'll leave the cream cheese and ham and get yourself to Costco. No, I just, you know what, it's, I just, I don't like, I don't like that he is doing the you had your chance thing because it's not like he was actively pursuing her and was like, do you want to go on a date with me? Let's hook up or whatever. And then she was like, no thanks.

It was like, she was, she was trying. I mean, I'm not taking it away from the fact that she also was flirting with the guy at the club and then also Gary and all that. But I'm just saying like, he's acting like he played an active role in trying to move her. And I'm sorry, he did not. So like, you can be like, okay, you know what?

Now that she's hooked up with Gary, I'm not interested in her, that's fine. But don't tell her you had your chance. When you were the one who can be like, okay, you know what? I know that she's hooked up with Gary I'm not interested in her. That's fine But don't tell her you had your chance when you were the one who told her like please Please slow down on hitting on me because I don't like it when the girl is the aggressor Well, he was saying that he was saying to stop hitting on me I saw hard when it's not just me that you'd like you don't even really like it because it seems fake with her You know, he was just trying to protect his heart He's not used to people coming on to that heart you know

he's cute he's cream cheese without the wrap and the ham yeah he's the donut in the shop just someone will take me surely i'm a donut one day someone's gonna want kind of a dry donut with no toppings on it. Someday somebody's gonna come along and make me want it. Ice and swallow me. Till then baby I'm gonna sit on this quarter sheet pan in the display don't you know I've got frosting, I got sugar, I got a sweet filling. Just hold on for one more day. You can't hold on for one more day when you're a doughnut. Yeah, doughnuts are just thrown out. We should ask Carney Wilson about it because she knows Jeff Lewis. So we should ask her. Okay, so let's go on with this recap. Okay, so she's mad because he basically dumped

her. He's like, Okay, well, I know you hooked up with Gary, and I don't want to get involved in any sort of like triangular sort of relationship, right? So I'm going to bed. Really, then why did you suggest coming to the hot tub? And you know, he lifted her all the way up just so he could dunk her in the hot tub, but she deserved it. Well, she, well, her deserving it is separate from him like do it like bring her all the way to the hot tub. But she's like,

you're trying to make me have sympathy for the donut right now, but it turns out that the donut was about to be given to someone and the donut was like, no, thank you. I'd like to stay in the case, please. And then the donut was like, oh well, I guess no one like to stay in the case, please. And then the donuts like, Oh, well, I guess no one wants me. It's like, you know, a donut. Well, yeah, but that girl chose that girls and that girl's got a grocery bag full of crawlers, eclairs and muffins, you know what I mean? And he's like, Oh, God, yeah. And he's just like,

well, thanks a lot. Me. Just think we'll just have to agree to disagree because we're going to do I believe in men with hearts, you know, I just think we'll just have to agree to disagree because what are you gonna do? I believe in men with hearts, you know? I believe, I do believe that like, you know, if you're interested in someone and you hook up with someone else, you do fundamentally fuck it up. Like that is for sure. I'm not taking that away. I'm just saying I don't like his attitude. And I also but I do appreciate that we just sang a Wilson Phillips song in the voice of a British donor. And that really made me happy for today. Yeah, well, at least we kept it on theme because it was about holes. That's okay. So Danny's

like, I fucking hate rejection. I wouldn't kiss Gary if I didn't if I didn't take you this long to kiss me. I mean, whatever. My approach is just to move on to the next cycle. It never happened. We know girl, and that's not going to work for you ever. It's never going to work for you. Never. And then she basically goes and texts the child from the abusive swim club. I was so embarrassed.

Okay. This is where I turned because for this long, I've just had zero respect for Danny and thought she was kind of an asshole with how she treats other people's feelings and Just figured she was kind of a female Gary, but this is where I felt bad. I was like, oh This is like an illness at this point. She's just like that desperate for attention. That's bad like girl. You're on TV This is just embarrassing. I'm sorry that high school was hard But I'm sorry for daddy issues. So now we wake up the next morning, all the people be mean to you before you were like a thin cheerleader. But you know what, this doesn't this isn't

gonna help. But I don't know, do something else. Find a hobby. Learn to play the piano. Or knit. Or, you know, yeah, well, that's, that's extreme. No, listen, I think therapy is good for everyone. I say this as someone who just got a text from his therapist So cute dr. Kahn my therapist is literally dr. Crain is not hilarious. No way. Yeah, that's crazy I actually am NOT in therapy. I just I watch reruns and just like project my issues onto it I just watch reruns. I watch reruns and just like project my issues onto it.

Okay, well, no one really needs a 19 hour below deck recap, but sometimes that's just what you're going to get. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Come one, come all. Okay, so now Emma is waking up and everyone's trashed, you know, from the night before and Emma's like, I feel like a Barbie that total hair cut off limbs ripped out by some troubled child. It's my way of saying you won't be shamming today because I'm missing my limbs. She woke up weird. It's so funny. So Keith is now telling Gary that he was up on the bow with Danny and he goes, oh did you hook up with me? He's like, nah. He's like, well honestly, I do not want to. If that's what's holding you back because she kissed me and I thought it was absolutely nothing.

She kissed you. You were flirting with her all night and you're like, let's go jump into the romantic or slick water. And you guys both jumped in like, don't say, don't put it all on her, please. So that's scary for you. Exactly. So then the crew is in the crew mess and Daisy is like, so what did I miss last night? Was it anything good? Could I motivate some other people to do things? How about this? Who here wants to learn how to make a lasagna? I can do that. I don't know why I said that. And Daisy's and they're like, no, you miss anything. You know, it was great. And then Danny's sort of keeps mopes off. And Danny's like, so he sat on the bear with me and he was like, oh, I'm not getting involved in a love triangle. And I was like, there is no love triangle to get

involved in, raw, stupid boy. Am I right? Everyone high fives. Right? Everyone goes. I'm not going to be with Keith now. And she's like, but I wanted to, like I wanted to period. Now I'm like, well, I've got the ick, you know, because he's so insecure and weird. He's insecure and weird. Oh my God.

How many fucking phone calls did you make the second you felt rejection? You know, that girl went through her Rolodex and called every person she's ever, ever known or they ever looked sideways. So she probably has like the customer service number to target like, I had a very cute clerk in there the other day. I'm sure he wanted me Danny, could you just pass it around? So Daisy does not yes and her Daisy's like, Danny, I think

that's really mean. That's not a nice thing to say that someone might be insecure. And she's like, Yeah, but he's's getting upset at the fact that I kissed somebody. She's like, yeah, but you didn't just kiss anyone. You kissed his roommate and his boss. Danny, you're going from one to the other. I don't think him feeling insecure is actually that weird in the situation. Danny's like, I was not prepared for that brutal honesty right now. Yeah. Now watch, Danny's going to become a total jerk because someone told her the truth about her stupid self. Now, Danny starts talking to her about Daisy for the rest of the episode.

Yeah. The spiral begins. Keith and Emma are talking and he's like, well, I think there's some awkward tension from last night. She's like, oh my God, I think it's my cologne. I'm like, Oh my God, I think it's my cologne. I was like, No, no, personal, interpersonal. No, seriously, I wear a cologne called awkward tension. People hate me. Seriously, they really do. So it's not about you, Emma. So it's just like, you know, it was just like this with her and I just walked off and go, what do you guys think about doing this tinder practice? I think we

could all use it here, right? Who wants to sit on daddy Gary's lap? I thought we were gonna ride the boat. All right, well, we can do that kind of tender if you want to, lazy Jones. So they go and get the tender so that way Emma can learn how to drive it. Because when he's like, who wants to have some tender practices for Emma? Right. So while they're doing that, Diana and Danny are at the bar cleaning and Diana's like, well, I understand why Daisy was saying that I'm really on her side. And Danny is like, yeah, I get it. But he's like a fucking asshole to me. And then I have to be the bigger person every single time. He's never been an asshole to you. And you've never been the bigger person. You've been

the person who feels insecure and then purposely tries to hurt his feelings because you don't know how to deal with life. So, uh, Diana's like, um, well, I don't think that's great for her to hear that either. And Danny's like, well, when you date him, you date him, then go, oh, son, how you're dating. I love that you've, you've elevated yourself to that level. Yeah, exactly. And Danny's basically like, I don't need your commentary, Daisy, okay? She isn't even aware of half the conversations we've had.

She only sees a little bit. So then over on the tender, Gary is teaching Emma how to drive and he's like, well, it's just like a car. And you know which way you turn, it's going to turn. And if you overdo it, you're gonna turn too much. So you're gonna turn counter. So you're pushing water left and right. So when you turn, it's going to turn. And if you overdo it, you're going to turn too much. So you're going to turn counter. So you're pushing water left and right.

So when you turn to the left, it goes left, turn to the right, it goes to the right. Just like a car. Have I told you that I've totaled seven cars? All right. All right, let me explain this in a way that might be easy for you to understand. It's basically like Emma.

It's the opposite of Emma, where you turn, when Emma turns towards you, what do people do? They turn away. That's the opposite of the tender. Do we get it now? I was like, Oh God, I'm just basically driving me. So it's basically sailing failure. Failure with a steering wheel is what you're telling me. No, I'm trying to motivate you. So how about this? If you need to make a left, just pretend there's a coffee to the left and to the right, pretend it's your bed so you can nap in. Okay, coffee. There you go. Bed. There you go. Bed. Ah, full circle now. So he's like, oh, if you panic, he just goes through the whole thing and she's just like, yeah, fine. Great. So then she's telling us, I normally perform well under

pressure. I don't think I'm performing well under pressure in this instance, exactly, because having all eyes on me is throwing me for a bit of a loop. I mean, it was especially rough when my sister was helicoptered in, jumped into the tender and reverse parked it right in between two giant yachts that were very, very close to each other. I mean, it was miraculous really. God damn it. I don't think that Garo appreciated when I actively made myself a little bed in the tendrum and went to sleep during the lessons. So it's very difficult, very difficult to get by with these people. So then Garry goes to Glenn and he's like, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, how had you teach in this z And he's like, what? She still doesn't know how to

drive a tender and we almost had to crash in the dark area. And then she took a nap and then somehow actually found a cup of coffee she could drink while on the tender. There's just a lot of waiting and looking around and talking about shoelaces and she's having a smoke and then it's tea and then it's smoke and then it's on her phone. Oh, so it sounds like she doesn't have any urgency. That's right. She has no sense of urgency. So here's what I would suggest for lack of urgency. We're just going to give her chance after chance and not really do anything or make any moves and just hope it gets better. Do you understand? All right. She needs it. Talking about lack of urgency, get her ass off the boat. How many times? I like Emma. I don't want to see Emma fired, but at this point, you can't stand up for Emma at this point, right?

No, no. So just get rid of her. Yeah. So, Garry's like, Emma is an excuse maker when it comes to work and there's always a reason behind it not being done. I want to give her the opportunity excuse maker when it comes to work. And there's always a reason behind it not being done. And I want to give her the opportunity to prove that she wants to learn. Otherwise, I'd be quite happy to find someone else. And by giving her the opportunity to prove that she wants to learn, I'm just going to look at her, shake my head and walk away.

I think she'll get it. So now the new guest arrives, like cute little family and very rich family, very, very rich family. Glenn's like, wait a minute, Danny, did we just give minors champagne? And she's like, no, only two didn't take them. He's like, good, because our policy is minors don't drink on board, got it? And so downstairs, Danny's like, oh, I mean, seven glasses of champagne already sit out. Look, I'm doing my job.

I'm not in charge. By the way, what are the rules? If you're on a yacht in a country or international waters where the drinking age is lower, I feel like, I don't know what the drinking age is in Ibiza, but I feel like it's gotta be about like seven years old, right? So like, shouldn't it be legal to do it there?

Uh, I would think so because all the talk of like, she's there in Ibiza for her 16th, I thought maybe it was legal to drink there, right? Or Ibiza. Ibiza. Ibiza. Oh, you know what? The legal age to drink alcohol in Ibiza is 18 years old.

So. Well, there you go. Sorry, Alana or whatever. You ain't drinking shit. But also if you're a waiter, if you're a server, it is your job to not serve underage people. Like it doesn't matter if you're the boss. It's literally your job. You couldn't be sued. Yeah. You can't drink alcohol in public areas where children might be such as beaches, parks, and streets. And the only, I don't know only, there might be children in those streets, stop drinking. And then also-

Why would anybody have children in a place where you can't drink around them? That's just nuts. My mom would have been like, no, not doing it. Take him. The only exception to the alcohol ban in public areas is on the terraces of bars and restaurants and other legally authorized areas. Well, other legally authorized areas, that could be anywhere. Come on, Abiza, get it together. Let's Abila, they have to have light rules, you know? Okay.

So, Danny's on that. There's been an alcohol ban in Abiza, by the way. That happened in May of this year. Wow, fascinating. Well, thank God for Coke then. So Danny is like, yeah, I'm not the boss. And Diana is like, well, Daisy doesn't give a fuck. Wow, you're both turning right at the same time. And so then Sherry, the mom's like, I want to go sail.

I want to go tip. I want to go sideways. I want to do that whole thing where people are sliding across. God, I love watching poor people slide and fall. Oh, I hope the door opens and glass flies at someone's face Okay, I could do that So meanwhile days he's like by the way, Chloe, do you want to walk through your manual? He's like, okay So it's gonna firstly be a gelatinized tomato tartar and this could be a tuna tartar

And then the third thing is gonna be a squid ink pasta over tartar sauce. And fourth course is gonna be a vanilla cake made of teeth tartar. Okay, well, that's a bit of a theme there, but I appreciate the efforts. Who's left over from the tip? Oh, great. Please don't say gelatinized. That is disgusting. Is that really something that people – I've never heard that term in restaurants. I mean, I've heard it, but I haven't heard it used to sell food like it's supposed to sell.

Gelatinized is not. That's not good. Or at least find the French word for it. Like au gelé. You say that. You know? Exactly. As long as it sounds French or Italian, it's going to sound like exquisite. But gelatinized, that's not going to do it. Not good. Yeah, it's not good. So he tells us the story about how his 16th birthday, I was a guest chef for a culinary festival in Mexico, and I cooked for 450 people that day. So then they brought me up on stage and they had me do a model walk down the runway. And then I posed with like 30 super

models. And then they were like, to you, the most reliable chef on the west coast. supermodels and then they were like to you the most reliable chef on the west coast. And by reliable we mean reliably unfuckable for us because we're all supermodels. So he's like yeah I just want to make Alana's 16th birthday just as special as its birthday being in proximity to a gorgeous woman. I'm working. Yeah, I'm working. I just want to make it so special for Alana. I can tell you one thing my girl's not doing ever, working.

So then Glenn radios, it's time to start sailing. Be sure all the doors are closed. LOL. And so then, dum dum dum. All right, Emma. Emma, it's time for you to learn about the Mizzen for the tenth time this season. All right, so we're going to do the Mizzen first while we're hoisting. All right, so the Mizzen and when the donkey bit is going in, that's when I can go in and

go have some tea, right? No, no, no, tea, a ciggy, I'll have a ciggy then. No, a nap, I'll take a nap during the Mizzen part, right? No, no, you have to watch and be, I don't know, Gary. I'm not really listening. I'm going to go get a tea after all. Bye. It's just really difficult having to do something with the donkey when that's what everyone on this boat makes me feel like. You know what I mean? Really got to chamomile this up right now because I'm about to lose it. I just woke up getting so great, but I've moved into a camera. They're playing something.

They're so happy. So Gary's like, no, okay. Well, you don't want to say it with the boat. All right. Whatever. So, um, uh, then the, uh, now we start sailing and the boat is more sideways than ever before because that lady is like, Oh, let's go super sideways. Let's go more sideways in any Viking ship in old Scandinavia.

So everything is falling out. Things were crashing. It's the old, the usual thing. And Dave's like, glad, glad. Can we please bow? Oh, the peaches are falling out of the basket. Yeah, it's like mayhem and everybody's holding on to everything, like normal. And then the gay and Alana, I think it's Alana, oh no, Sherry the mom, they come in to talk about the 16th birthday party decor and the gay was just cracking me up.

He's like, we want white gloves. That's what we want. Like he is so five times 500. I really liked him. He's like, we want black labs. That's what we want. He is so five times 500. I really liked him. He was making me laugh. By the way, tell me you're from Minnesota without telling me you're from Minnesota. She has a bag full of decor for dinner tonight. She's like, I just brought some fun things from Target. It's our local company in Minneapolis. Just some cute things, some ideas, and some decor inspo, just fun stuff. I'm like, my friend Nikki is from Minnesota who you've met. This is some shit she would do.

She would totally go onto a super yacht with an extra bag of luggage with decor and sweatshirts and just fun things. She's like, I just thought this would be cute. Just put it up somewhere. I don't know. I like it. It was pretty funny. And then Brandon's like, oh my God, that tail, the, the sales are up.

They're trying to kill us. So they got the party settled, right? And then Glenn notices that Emma's having a lot of trouble and he's like, Oh, when you're putting that much effort into training somebody, you've got to see results. And if she doesn't get it quickly in about 24 more charters, she's out of here. Yeah. Because after Gary sat with Emma and was taught her everything about the mizzen and that scene or not everything, but like walk her through it when it's time to take the mizzen down. Glenn's like, Hey, can you do the mizzen? Emma and she goes, yeah, can

someone just talk me through it? I've actually never even heard of what is a mizzen? I don't think of it. Have you always had the sale? Did you just add the sale while I was downstairs getting coffee? This is a new sale, right? Yeah. Poor Emma. Literally, she's going to be poor forever because she can't get anything. So then, Kois, say it again. There's always real estate. Show a picture of her with her glamorous martini. Well, I can't wait to get back to that real estate ball. So now they're going over dinner service.

Cois is going over dinner service, announcing first course and he's like, ''Okay, well, I have plates and you're going to need a fork. Okay.'' So the second course is also on plates. Do we have that? Do we understand that? Like, I'm so proud of you. Look at you go. Voice.

So then there's like this moment where the guests are like swimming and they come out onto the swim platform. And this one guy is like showering off or whatever, but he's like looking for a towel. And so Gary, Gary's doing something. And so he runs over and he gets the towel for the guys like, here you go. Here's a towel for you. And the guy's like, thank you. And then

Gary like shuts off the shower. And then Gary does something else. The guy like walks away. And Emma, we just see Emma's just standing there the whole time just staring while her arms cross. Well, you just hand him a towel. Why would you do such a thing? That's insane. Gary do all this stuff for this guest and Emma was already there. Gary was doing something else and came over to do this. Emma was just watching.

So he comes over to her and he's like, so you're happy to be here, right, Em? She's like, I mean, I suppose, you know, a bump's happy to be on logs. Does anyone ask them? Would they be able to answer if you did ask them? I hear Idem." She's like, I mean, I suppose, you know, a plump's happy to be on logs. Does anyone ask them? Would they be able to answer if you did ask them? Would anybody be able to hear them when they'd never use their ears to even listen to logs in the first place? Do you understand? Well, I've never felt sorry for wood before, but are you sure you want to be here? Because I just have to be honest with with you and that's rare from me. I see a lot of lack of urgency around everywhere and a lot of waiting around and watching us work."

She's like, oh, like when? Could you name a moment? And he's like, well, the other day he's doing all of this and you're standing there watching him and now I'm going there putting a show on helping them out here and giving out towels and you're standing there. And she goes, oh, well, I thought they could see the towels. I didn't realize. I was just gonna stare until they picked up the towel for themselves. Are they blind?

I mean, should I have given them sticks to feel around for towels? Because they have eyes and the eyes were right on the towels. I thought by them seeing me staring at the towels, they would then continue their gaze towards the towels as well and then pick it up for themselves. That's how it works, right? All right. Well, I just feel that if I ask you to do things, you're like, no, I can't

do that. But then you go for a coffee, and then you go for a cigarette, and there's another coffee, and then it's back inside. Well, I don't drink coffee, so that's impossible. I know that was a big counter. Well unfortunately these false accusations are based off of the theory that I drink coffee, but the truth is I don't. I drink tea. Oh, okay. Well, tea or whatever, it just seems like to me that there's no sense of urgency.

And I don't know if you want to carry on working on yachts after this, but I mean, it seems like you really don't want to be here. Well, apparently is it that I don't know if you want to carry on working on yachts after this but I mean it seems like you really don't want to be here. Well apparently is it that I don't want to be here or does anyone not want me because last time I checked everyone wanted to kill me and not fuck me so I mean who's to blame here? I mean it's exactly right. I mean are you sure that you're even talking about me or is this some coffee swilling other unfuckable that we're discussing here? Is there some Folgers light trollop who's roaming the decks of this boat that you're discussing? Because that's certainly not me who you're describing. I mean, listen, and he's like, well, I didn't know if you want to carry on working on your activities,

but it seems like you don't want to. And she's like, well, I mean, I think it's really unfair that you're putting this all on me. I mean, you've had no feedback at all. And then all of this comes out of nowhere. You know, I mean, this is just as it dates back now. I mean, it's just shitty. I mean, got coffee. When was this prehistoric times? Emma, so you riding a dinosaur? Did you? Did you? Well, I haven't done that for years. Are you even talking about the same? You know, I've changed on the inside since then. All right. Well, I just want you to prove from where we are now, which is you're terrible. Because well, yeah, it's really fucking hard to improve when all you see is a snapshot of all the hard work I do staring at guests waiting for them to pick up things for

themselves. Well, it's just what I've noticed and we're a team and it feels like you need to do more. So I'm just trying to tell you so you can improve on urgency." She's like, well noted, I'm going to sit here and think about this meditatively. Right. All right. Well, you know what? I am going to get a coffee. I think my takeaway here is that I don't have to just have tea. I can expand into coffee. Thank you, Gary. Thank you for offering. That was one good thing. I'm going to do this urgently. I'm urgently going to have a coffee right now. So then Glenn's like, whoa, how'd that go? She didn't fall asleep in the middle of the sentence. So that's good.

Well, I tried to speak to her in the nicest way possible without using my penis, which was very difficult, actually. It's the most words I've ever used with a woman. Well, let's let her simmer down a bit and then see what happens in the next couple of days. I'm like Emma simmer down. Has she even reached a like as a bubble even come to the surface? No one even turned on the stove girl. The stove is not on. Simmer down. She's down.

Well, Daisy, guess what? Gary's just come up to me accused me of being someone who drinks coffee like an American. And he asked me if I want to even be here. And then he said he and Keith are carrying too much of my weight. So I guess I'm fat now. And I feel like it could have been easily avoided as well. They just come to me sooner. She's like, well, I think that Gary really struggles with confrontation. Well, it just seems to me to be the butt. I seem to be the butt of most the confrontations. That's quite ironic. I literally can't trust them as far as I can throw them.

I think I need a nap. Can you please pass me a cup of coffee? Well, I feel for Emma and I can understand her insecurities. But I empathize with Gary because it's scary. I love him. But yeah, it's like we're on a super yacht. So bigger work. So then Diana is like, so we see interior setting up for this party. And Daisy's like trying to move quickly. But Danny's just fucking around. You know, would you like to take me balloon? Oh, really? Did I miss

my chance with you? Fuck off balloon. That's what I say. Hey, hey, ladies. Yeah, Danny is literally just like joking around with Gary and Glenn in like the cockpit area and Daisy is frantic and she pops in and she's like, darling, please, I really need your help right now. And Danny is like playing with some sort of like slinky or goo or whatever. She's like, isn't this really cool, Gary? So Diana's like, I completely understand Daisy's side and why she's mad. Priority is work.

You have your work as priority. Service, decorations, cocktails, whatever needs to be done. Russian oligarchs wait for no one and I wait for no one too. So it needs to be ready. So then it is time for dinner. And Gary's like, what's this?

And Cloyce is like, it's a puffed rice cracker. They're going to eat tuna with it. And he's like, oh, baby Cloys, yes. So now upstairs, this is my favorite of the moms. She's like, all right, everybody, I want to give a toast to a man of grace. Okay? Today, I'm going to give you some words of wisdom. Okay? Now I've learned in life that it's very important to take the high road and enjoy life as it comes. Drop the mic, drop the mic. I learned that.

I learned that on television. And she throws this microphone down on the table. The table has a centerpiece that has one of those Homer Simpson pink donuts with the sprinkles bitten out of it. I'm like, you do remember that you're doing white. Like we really want like white glove service. So it really accentuates the Homer Simpson donut we place in the middle of the table. You know what? Waste not want not two birds in a hand.

Drop the mic. Drop it. And Brandon's like, that was good. So good. So funny. And so, Alana's like, thanks for the words of wisdom, but that's not really a drop the mic moment. And then mom's like, I just need some tequila is what I need.

Just give me some tequila, okay? Drop the mic. Drop the mic. So then, Coice is like, so have you seen this situation before, Captain? Look what I'm doing over here. I've got broth of purple cabbage. And then when it's introduced with acid,

it turns this sick fuchsia color, right? Let me do it on the table tonight. He's like, wow, I'm so pleased. He's really pulling out the stops. You just made purple turn less purple. All right, guess you're in for a treat. For your sweet 16, you're gonna see some cabbage-induced magic. Enjoy. I believe in cabbage. So now they're gonna, the adults are gonna go off to Ibiza to Ibiza to go clubbing and everything like that.

And meanwhile, everyone loves... I'm sorry, they're going to do that after dinner. They're still eating dinner and everyone's loving it. It looks very nice. And Daisy's like, I know Cloyce had it in him. This is what he was supposed to be doing. And this is fantastic. Now all they need to do is keep it up for the rest of the season. What I'm trying to say is, good work Daisy. If you'd like to book me for a motivational tour, you can reach my agent at 555-DAISY. My motto is, get your head out your ass, you stupid arsehole. Move over, Brené Brown. Daisy's in town. Hey, that rhymes. I'm already inspired.

So, uh, Davidia's like, uh David is like oh good chef good success now what do you think I want to prepare I want to present you with a gift for making dinner so special tonight it's my butthole stop getting shots of David's buttholes every every episode. It's a lot of butthole from David. Big gaping butthole going up to the top bunk. Put it back. I feel like you're just asking, I don't know why. Just put it away. I feel like I'm being sucked into a vortex.

It just feels like I'm being groomed. I don't know what it is, but put it away, sir. I need my left butt cheek, Sicily, and my right butt cheek, Italy. Any crack? It's whatever shape that is. So then, now- It wouldn't be the first time I had a straight in my crack. Ah!

So now the guests are going off. And so Keith, they go off, teenagers are in the jacuzzi having a nice time. They're inhaling a lot of helium. And then now it's like two in the morning, Keith goes off to pick up the guests from the club on the tender. And in the meantime, Gary wakes up because Gary has to go to the swim platform to meet the guests when they come on. And when Gary goes up to the deck, he's like talking to Danny, but then all of a sudden he sees something and he gets very startled and he starts running away. And I was like, did a lady just come on board a lady?

Must have someone lady came on board, right? New boobs. But now the boat is about to crash into another boat. And I don't know whose fault it is. I'm blaming the smaller boat because I'm Yeah, be careful. You're into another boat. And I don't know whose fault it is. I'm blaming the smaller boat because be careful. You're a small boat. You're a small boat. But also, what's happening here? The yacht's not moving. They're drifting into each other. Well, I can't tell which one is drifting, if it's their boat or if it's the little boat that's drifting, but they're about to hit it. So he's like, wake up, gang. Wake up,, and so she does and don't don't don't don't and then she wakes up Emma and she's like, Emma, wake up, there's a boat in front of

us and then it's just like, Oh, God, just did a whole lot on. Just let it pass already. I mean, God, if it did crash into us, it would be the first thing that's tried to crash into me this entire summer. So, bring it on. People are always saying, oh, we were like ships in the night. Well, how about this? Let the ships crash into each other. That way they don't have to say that anymore. That way they can say, we were ships in the night who crashed into each other and we had a great time. It's okay. Listen, don't wake me up because there's a ship in front of me. Wake

me up because there's a cup of coffee in front of me. That's what I want. Okay, I'm going back to bed. She's addicted now to coffee. She always wants coffee right before now. She's like, I'm going to now give me some coffee. She doesn't understand. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us today. What a fun time. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you so much. And we will be back with lots coming up.

Beverly Hills starts this week, Salt Lake City, New York is still on for whatever reason. And we'll be back to talk about all that fun stuff later in the week. In the meantime, go check out all of our other fun episodes and bonus episodes and all that stuff at Patreon. And we will talk to you next time. Bye everybody! Bye! right foot with Chrissy Offit. Dana C Dana Dube. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trickle-us. Jamie. She has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. Hava Nagila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the funk it's Leslie Plunkett! She gets an A from us, it's Lindsey D! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino!

Always killin' it, it's Lola Alcolani! We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! Have a heck of a time with Rebecca! The highest tally, it's Sarah McNally! Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal. Don't

get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly it's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz it's Liz Sarthi. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases ouriz, it's Liz Sarthi. The incredible, edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shining out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' violet Coutar. We love you guys.