Watch What Crappens - #2636 RHOBH S1402 Part Two: PKs and Valleys

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

This is part 2 of our 2-part recap!Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns! Kyle is still crying, Dorit is mad as hell and taking no prisoners, and Boz is already stealing the show. Get a record to balance atop your head and let’s get going! To watch this and all our recaps on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to constantcontact.ca for your free trial. Constantcontact.ca happens when this so much that happens. That's so funny. What happens when you don't want to crack it? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe

so that you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So then we go to Hancock Park, Bose's house, and there's a plaque that says, so be so good that can't ignore you. See your signs. I made these signs. That's right.

Before this was a house, a house without a sign. And now look at it. This is a badass bitch house. Yeah. And Bose is there and, um, she, her assistant Nico is in the kitchen watching her and she opens up the fridge to pull something out, like her fruit tray, I guess. And she's like, wow, this fridge is full. Lord help us all. I'm like, you have not been to my fridge. That fridge, that fridge looked like Marie Kondo had been there compared to mine

where I've got things stuck in every single corner. So then she pulls out this fruit platter, and then she starts pouring gold dust on it. And she's like, well, you can't have a fruit platter without gold. Now, wait, hold on. Do you think my new friends who I met at the party, do you think that they like gold as much as I like gold? You know, I was very sad that I left PepsiCo

before I was able to introduce PepsiCo Gold. Ah, America would have been taken by the sensation of gold. Zzz, and Nico, my new favorite gay on Bravo. What a sweet, sweet, sweet... energy this guy has. Sweet energy. This poor man just had to spend an entire night at a surrealism party hiding under Boze's train. So, you know what?

Who doesn't want that? Like, who doesn't want that? Yeah, my hat is off to him. Yes, I mean, that's like the best assistant work of all time. Like, someone literally under your dress the whole night. I'm so into it. And he's like, I think they like gold. So how do you feel about them? Do you like them? Does Kyle Richards really suck?

Hey, did Kyle Richards talk about how difficult our past two years have been? Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, That's a tiny violin. I'm the inventor of violins. CEO of badass violins. Silence. Silence, badass bitch talking. Yeah, I thought they were both very nice. Well, first impressions can be deceiving. And I am not one to be deceived. So, Erica and Dorit show up. I was laughing at literally everything that she said. She's hilarious.

I'm not one to be deceived. Huh? Are you in your own cartoon now? I love this. So Eric and Dorit come and Eric is like, Oh, I'm so excited to see Buzz's house. For once I have a neighbor. And neighbor's hopefully got some silverware that's not locked up in the cabinet. Am I right, Dorit? Oh yeah.

Cut to Erika trying to scrape off the gold dust from her, like, grapes. And Catherine, like, into a little vial. Yeah, I'm sure I can sell this. Anybody have any peek tweezers? I can get this out later. I think this one could get me a new tire. So Erika's... Yeah, she's excited and Dorit's like, well, Erica, we hit it off. She's corporate America incarnate. And I just ended up sharing such personal intimate details inside of 30 minutes.

You know, when she said, Hi, how are you? And I said, my husband is an alcoholic. We just really went deep so quickly. Severe, severe alcoholic. He's an alcoholic. We just really went deep so quickly. Severe. Severe alcoholic. He's so alcoholic and severe, seriously. So they pull up to the house and both is like, look at you, so cute, you two. Look at you. You look beautiful. Now take off your shoes, please.

We don't allow poor people shoes in here. Now please, I'm barefoot. We might as well. Just do it. Take off your shoes. I'm the CEO of VEET. I've started VEAT. Get in here with your gorgeous VEAT. I'm trademarking those VEAT. Get those VEAT trademarks, Nico. You don't have trademarks on your feet, do you? Okay. Have some gold dust grapes. If I knew that I had to take off my Chanel mules. I may not have worn them because they really are part of the outfit, sort of like tequila is for P.K.'s personality. Sivir alcoholic. Anyway, but for bars, for bows, I'll make an exception.

Well, let me tell you, if you ever invite P.K. over here, he's always got his shoes off. Now, what he won't take off is his rampant alcoholism. So, good luck with that one. Unfortunately, P.K.'s shoes are just two cans of Pringles he's wrapped around his ankles. Very disturbing. So it's hard to usually get, just physically hard to take them off. The only reason he went there is because he found out they had chips. He just clapped right in. They asked him if he was going go clogging afterwards and he said, no, these are my actual shoes. BOWEN LAUGHS BOWEN So, this house, first of all, is a dream of mine.

It is so crazy looking. It's not typical at all. It's like she's done every inch of it. It's very maximalism, which is my jam. She has done like every inch of it with something. It's all personality and colors and patterns, but it's not tacky. Like it all works together really, really well. I loved it. Yeah, this is like what Reza tries to do when he had that like design show. This is what he was like trying to go for. This is, I feel like this is like a Martin Lawrence Ballard situation or something. I don't know. It's just like, it is patterns and patterns.

I was just thinking of Martin Lawrence the other day as I passed a bell pepper in a grocery. I said, wow, a bell pepper wrapped in a plastic packaging. Isn't that something? The future is now. Am I right? How do I check this little bad boy out? Are there people working here? Is it just a machine? Oh, are you free for dinner, you little self-checkout minks? Mm-hmm. I'll tell you who's fresh and easy. Mm, there's red pepper. Mm.

So... I will never forget that man from that one season of that show. I still walk around. Were you with me at the Abbey when we met him? He was at the Abbey one night. And I was like, oh my God, I love you. And he's like, oh, do you? Do you really? And I said, yes, I think you're fabulous.

And he's like, oh, darling, thank you so much. Have a seat. Yeah, and I... By the way, we were on the dance floor. There was nowhere to sit. And I will never forget seeing him with a grocery basket sort of dangling from his elbow as he browsed through plastic wrapped red peppers at Fresh and Easy. And I just heard that high blow of like Martin Lawrence Ballard shopping for burgers at like a budget supermarket.

It's just the best thing in the world. Hell yes. I will never forget that story. It's just the best thing in the world. Hell yes. I will never forget that story. It's just the best. So they go outside and Bose is like, I'm so happy you came over. Thank you so much for accepting my invitation. Cheers. Now you speak. And Erica's like, wow. So what did you think about everybody? I mean, hey, let's get down the brass tacks. Let's get down to it. Okay. Tell us what you're really thinking. No brass tax, gold tax only. Oh, that's an expression.

Gold tax. Let me tell you the tax is most important to pay. The tax to yourself. You are your own country. You are your own president. You are your own Uncle Sam. You're your Auntie Sam. Why should it be an uncle?

Take that tax and build up, ladies. All right, so who do you think was a bitch? Just say it, just say it. Hey, Buggles, why are you rotating away from us? It's called a pivot and I am the pivot. Oh, okay. That's a box step. I've seen him, I've been to Chicago, so...

Please, have a seat on my oversized Pepsi cans. Oh, okay. This is nice. Before I came, they were serving these in bottles, glass bottles. Do you know how many dolphins died in those things? You're welcome, dolphins. Well, Bose, do you mind if I call you that? The stuff going on between Coil and I is so layered.

Basically, Kyle sort of isolated me. She's a bitch, is what I'm trying to say. Beyond my team. BLAIR Kyle, Dereed just really goes off. And Bose looks like, okay, well, thanks for coming over. Glad I'm getting to talk about myself. And Dereed's like, but how would you feel

if you were me, poor, innocent me, and Quill came along and just ruined your whole life by just being a bitch for no reason? Would you like to see some Watch What Happens Lives clips? Rule the clips! Rule the clips! Oh. You know what it is with Kyle? It's always like, Coca-Cola this, Coca-Cola that.

I hate Pepsi. God, isn't she just the worst person ever, booze? Have you ever heard someone just call you incessantly saying things like, do the do? Coca-Cola that, I hate Pepsi. God, isn't she just the worst person ever, Bose? Have you ever heard someone just call you incessantly saying things like, do the do? Any horrible person. Sometimes if you can't trust someone's soft drink taste, can you really trust them at all?

Am I right, Bose? Be on my team. So... So, now we see, this is hilarious, because Dorit's like, yeah, Kyle keeps on changing her mind on what she's mad at. And they go, grievance number one. And Kyle's like, first of all, being asked about my marriage

on camera when we were such good friends. And then it's like, grievance number two. When you said that, like, Kathy, like, I think Kathy just wants some support to me, it just feels like you, like, want to be on the side of whichever the audience, like, thinks and agrees with. And now she's bringing up Bravogan, when I joked, who is my favorite sister?

And then we see that thing, Grievance III. And then she's like, it just feels like she's grasping at straws. Just like P.K. when he sees a bottle of Belvedere sitting on a countertop. Severe! Severe! Eww! And he sees a bottle of Belvedere sitting on the countertop. Severe! Severe! I just wish he could have learned about PepsiCo so much earlier. So, I suppose his like, at least his diabetes would have been more delicious. She's like, well, what happened? What happens now?

Are you going to pivot? Are you going to be the pivot? Will you be a badass pivot? Because at the party, what I saw, she was, when I saw her, she just stomped on off. And Dorit's like, "'Well, yes, I think that she came into this conversation thinking I can always do what I do with Dorit, which is make her feel bad for me, and then she'll get over it.'

And I said, "'Gee, I'm not gonna do that anymore.'" GIGGLE Um, so then we see a clip of Kyle being like, I'm thinking that right now I'm really dealing with like a lack of trust. And like the fact that she lacks accountability, your self-awareness, like, I mean, she's just oblivious to anyone's feelings but her own. And, um, she tells us, you don't get to just say how hurt you were

and then that you felt pushed away. You made that bed and now you gotta lie in it. So I was like, oh, okay. So, we cut back to Dorit Ereko and Bose. And Dorit's like, oh, the fact that she is... What? What bed did Dorit make? What bed did Dorit make? I'd like to know. What's the bed?

I just would like Kyle to tell us about the bed before Dorit lies in it. Because I don't see the bed. I don't see the bed here. I don't see the bed. She keeps trying to make my case for the bed, but there's no bed. There's no bed. You're just full of shit. There's no bed. Yeah. I just said I don't like you anymore.

You're stupid now. You're ugly now. You're gross. Stop sitting at my table. Go to the other table. Go don't eat at the other table. Yeah, exactly. Um, so Dorit's like, but I feel like over the last few years, there's always been this set of two rules, a set of rules for you and rules for everyone else, or a set of rules for you and a set of rules for me. Or like there'd be a set of rules for

Kyle and then set of rules for someone else. Like, yes, Dorit, we understand what two rules are. Can I just give one more example? A set of rules for Kyle and a set of rules for other individuals. Yes, that's the same thing. Thank you. So Erica is like peaceful Erica this time. He's never done anything to anybody. He's like, well, I see where the balls come from. You got that one's too skinny and that one's too skinny. He's got way too much money. They've been going through real bad stuff at home and both is like, yes, yes, you've got it. You're talking to me. And next, let me tell you this.

Are you your own hero in your own story? Be a badass. Did I say that in enough individual syllables for everyone here to understand that? Eat the gold, poop the gold, you're a badass. But, Coyle, let me tell you, what a bitch. You're a badass. But, Coyle, let me tell you, what a bitch. You know, Kyle and Dorit, they're both going through separations and they're at each other's

throats while PK and Mo are having the best time of their lives while we're here fighting in CINO. Okay? How does this even happen? I'm like, well, they're not on a reality show. So Erica is, she's like, so by the way, Dere, how's everything going with your husband? Oh, you mean the severe alcoholic. Well, you know, it's been a very few tumultuous years. I'm not gonna lie. I'm getting choked up just thinking

about it. And you're on mute, darling. You're on mute. You're on mute while I'm coughing. Ooh, alcoholism is so serious that it's choked me up even. No. And so, Bose is like, well, how are you with your kids right now? And let me ask you this. Your kids? Yes. Are they badass kids?

Well, I suppose so. Good. I'll listen to their problems. Go ahead and tell me. And she's like, well, they think daddy's working because he's staying in a hotel because of work. And boss is like, oh, so difficult because you have to keep up the pretense. Which hotel? Is it Marriott?

I can get you connected because guess who came up with the extra T at the end of that logo? Her name is Boss. Guess who invented hotel rooms? Me. I invented that. Before that, there were just big open spaces. You just wouldn't lie down and I said, put up the walls. So, Derry's like, you know what?

Because of the last few years, I mean, PK, he was drinking, drinking just so much. And then when we'd fight, he would take off and he'd be gone for weeks. So I've been telling the kids, that's just what we're used to, to be honest. So their lives are not really disrupted that much. You know, they wake up and they say,

where's the big old blob of jelly that's normally here yelling at you in the morning? And I say, he's on another piece of toast. Right. London toast today. Let's concentrate on something else. Now, here's on another piece of toast. Right. London toast today. Let's concentrate on something else. Now, here's your nanny. Learn your tie. I'll be in bed.

You know, I'm sorry that DeWitt had to suffer like that in silence. Not that DeWitt's ever really been that silent. She just talks a lot. But anyway, I understand not telling anyone anything like that. You know, what are you going to say? I told you guys everything was great when in fact he's not here. I mean, right, everyone, am I right? Can we get some of that gold dust just a little baggy?

Just a little bit. And Dere's still going on and on. She's like, well, and then Jaguar asked me, but where is Daddy, Mommy? And I said, oh, Jaguar, be your namesake and get some drive already. Stop asking. And Boza's like, okay, well, is there a chance for reconciliation or something? She's like, well, I suppose there's always that possibility.

Isn't there? You know, his, let me tell you what will have to be a little bit less severe. Alcoholism? Terrible, terrible stuff. BLAIR LAUGHS Um, now we go to Sutton's house, and, uh, Avi is in there, and he's, like, he's futzing around, but he's got, he's, like, microwaving sauces or whatever, and Sutton's like,

Avi, what are you doing right now? And he's like, well, I'm defrosting the sauce because they were frozen for your pizza party. And she's, and so basically, they're setting up a little pizza thing to go, because what we find out is that Sutton, Kathy, Erica are going to go surprise Kyle with some pizza stuff. So Sutton is saying, you know, although Kyle and I have had our ups and downs over the years, I know that she needs me as a friend right now. And she knows that I need to be with her so I can feel superior to all the shit that she's going through.

It's just such a great feeling for me. Anyway, so I'm going superior to all the shit that she's going through. It's just such a great feeling for me. Anyway, so... I'm gonna go surprise her. I'm gonna go over to Kyle's house, because she's probably alone in that big house, and I'm gonna bring her something she hates, which is carbs. And then, um, we're gonna cook that in her kitchen,

and then leave her with the mess. It's gonna be so funny. It's like... This is such a... such a frenemy move to do. Let's just bring three people over to trash your house and then leave you. Bye. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest

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Spotify or Apple podcasts. So Erika comes on over, um, says hi to the dogs and everything, and then she's like, what is that? She's like, oh, these are pizza kits. And what's pizza? It's something that people eat. I'm not familiar. What's that? She's like, oh, these are pizza kits. And what's pizza? It's something that people eat.

I'm not familiar. Okay. Well, I thought it was a nice gesture. And after I, you know, I talked to Kyle, she seemed a little down, which was hilarious. And you know, there's a story she told me, do you want to hear this story? This is the, this is the feel good story of the year. Okay. All right.

So there's this picture in Mauricio's office. It was a picture of him and Kyle. And guess what? He replaced the picture of the two of them with the picture of the girl from Dancing with the Stars. I mean, could you just die? It's hilarious. And Erica's like, -"What?" -"In the office. In their house." She goes, are you serious?

Yes, well, Kyle did the replacing first. Mauricio can have a picture of some lady in his office, I think. And it sounds like, I mean, at that point for me, I'm like, bye, bye, Mauricio. But I don't think Kyle did. And, you know, she's still kind of hurt, and still hopeful. Hurt and hopeful, Kyle Richards story. Little tiny letters under it just saying, I've been through a lot in the past two years.

Good one. Starring Michael Myers. Yeah, if Kyle's still thinking that her divorce is gonna be like a genteel affair while Mauricio is doing passive aggressive things like swapping out the photo of him and Kyle, a special photo that's always been up there with a picture of him and whatever his professional is on Dancing with the Stars. That is some passive aggressive shit. And Kyle is deluding herself if she thinks that this is going to be a civilized situation. That is the first flag. That's their first red flag that's going to go down. I think it's going to be civilized. You know, and I'm, you know, obviously, I'm always wrong

on couple stuff like this, like almost 100% of the time, because when I meet people as a couple, I just figure they're going to be together forever. Like if you ever broke up, I mean, I didn't meet you with Dom, I knew you before Dom, but you've been together so long, if you break up, I don't know that I can talk to you. Like, I'll feel so hurt that you broke up. Like, it hurts me when people break up. I just don't understand it. I think that people are always gonna be together forever.

And I'm always shocked when people actually get divorced. Like, even on like Potomac, I didn't think Ashley would ever do it. I was like, she deep down, she really loves him and he loves her. And on this one, I don't think they're going to do it. I really think that they still love each other and they're just doing some weird, I don't know, storyline thing that went out of control or I don't know, I don't think it's that big. Like, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Like Kyle, because Kyle really, you know, she does that thing where she insinuates the shit out of things

to make other people look bad, but she's not really telling the truth. Like, we've seen what she's... I guess I shouldn't call her a liar, because she hasn't really said anything. She's insinuated that Mauricio has done things, but we don't even know if Mauricio has cheated or not. I mean, the rumor from Old Queen in the Bar was,

was that he got some DMs on the Instagram that she didn't like, and I think she ended up coming out with that later in the season. But he got some DMs on the Instagram that she didn't like. And I think she ended up coming out with that later in the season. But I don't know what Mauricio did. Anyway, my point is, I do think they still love each other, and I don't think... I don't know that they'll necessarily get back together. I think they will. Part of me does. But I don't think it's gonna get nasty.

I don't know. Isn't that weird? I'm fighting in a positive way. But it's weird to feel... I feel weird feeling that way just... It's not weird. I'm fighting in a positive way. It is weird. It's weird to feel... It is weird. I feel weird feeling that way, but that's my gut. I would not be surprised if they reconcile in a few years. That could definitely happen, but if they don't reconcile, if they do go down the divorce path, I can see it getting dark.

Just because I've just seen too many couples who are always like, we're going to be really mature about this. We're gonna be really mature about this. We're gonna be adults about this. And it just, it goes downhill really quickly. But, you know, good, it's good that it's relatively, relatively mature and civilized right now, even though he's doing passive aggressive things with his picture frames.

So, Erica's like, I mean, why are you replacing the picture of your wife with your dancing with the stars part? All that's going to do is make people talk more. And that doesn't help. It actually hurts. Then again, Tom had a picture of who he was fucking underneath his desk and there she was. So who am I to judge, you know, and she just sips out of her soda. Like, I've been doing all tuts. I love, I love when she just leans into like, I love when she's in like, diner waitress mode.

Yeah, she really is like, -♪ Hey, been there done that. -♪ You wanna refill, hon? She totally is. Please let Erika, and I don't mean this in a mean way, but please let her just end up being a diner waitress one day. I would fucking love that, to just go in, and there's like, bleach blonde Erika with her, you know, $5 extensions kind of fallen off

into your porridge. Just being like, hey, what do you want today as if we didn't already on the whole, look who's back. So now we are at Kyle's house and Kyle calls Sophia on the phone and is basically asking like, are you going to have dinner at home tonight? And Sophia is like, no, mom, gross. I'm going to go see a movie. And Kyle's like, I'm still adjusting to having a lot of a quieter home. Still not used to that.

I just get like a little scared. Like, what if it's always like this? Well, don't worry, Kyle. You have 10 enormous sized dogs that are barking at all times running around that place for it to ever be truly quiet. So Erica and Kathy and Sutton are coming over and it's wacky. How are they going to get through the gate? What are we going to do? And Kathy's like, Oh, I'm just saying I'm going to be from Amazon. You know, she gets so much stuff from Amazon. I'll just say, you know, Oh no, she didn't even say that. She said, I'm just saying like, I'll just say, you know, oh no, she didn't even say that. She said, I'm just saying, like, I'll just say, I got a delivery here for who delivers things.

I don't know. I'm just like, she goes like, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr. She like, does like gibberish on purpose. And then they're like just joking about how like she has to get into character and everything. And she's like, no, I mean, look, look, I mean, like, OK, think about my outfit. OK, maybe I'm being in a brown truck, you know, that's, wait, no, I mean, look, look, I mean, like, okay, think about my outfit. Okay, maybe I'm being in

a brown truck, you know, that's, oh, wait, no, that's UPS. I was like, wow, I'm oddly impressed that Kathy knew that the brown truck was UPS. I didn't even think she even saw the brown trucks. I think it's like when you have like, you know, you go on to Safari and it can like block out ads. So that way you have like a cleaner interface. I think she just blocks out like workers and trucks. So Erica's like, all right, then get into character. What's in her face. I think she just blocks out like workers and trucks. So, uh,

Erica's like, all right, then get into character. What's your name going to be? She's like, ma'am. Which he knows her real name at home. And Erica's like, all right, we're done. She's not opening up. So she's like, so, um, then they pull up to Kyle's gate and Kyle's in the kitchen. Portia's home. I guess the movie was, I guess it was a quick movie. So I thought last time I think Portia, you were, Oh yeah. Fifi. You're right. That makes much more expense.

Sophia who is no Alexia is engaged. Sophia is just at the movies. So, Portia, um, uh, they're having a great conversation. Portia's like, sometimes I think cucumbers get slimy. Why is that? I'm like, please don't ask Kyle this. You're just, you're testing the limits of your mother's abilities right now.

Kyle has been trying to make salmon for four years and has not done it right once. Please don't ask your mother. And Kyle's like, "'Um, it means that you've been in there too long, I think.' And she goes, "'But why slimy?' She goes, "'I don't know. I'm gonna need to think about that one.'" -♪ PORSCHE LAUGHS I'm trying to understand the intrinsic elements of a cucumber, but why, if it's been in there so long, why does the path that shoes, why is the path slimy?

Why not hard? Why slimy mom? It's like, I don't, it's actually a decent question, you know, because cucumbers are like so water-based and like, where does the slime come from? I don't really get it. But I don't need to go down that path. We're on our 10 of this recap.

So then, um, this is the wacky delivery scene. So the girls come up and they're trying to get in the gate. And then Kyle, of course, the doorbell goes off and Bedlam breaks loose in Kyle's house. There are dogs running around the house. There's chickens falling from the ceiling. There's angry birds being like shot from one end of the house to another. Faye Resnick comes up from the basement like, did I hear something? I'm working on a closet down there.

There's someone's swing through on a rope. I mean, it is like, what is this? What happens every single time the package comes in? She has to wrangle every single one of her dogs because her dogs always go running out that gate every for years now, they've gone running out the gate. This cannot be normal. I feel like I go to people's houses and their dogs do not run out gates. I mean, actually, I don't know a lot of people who live in gated community, gated households, but I feel like I've gone to enough where that doesn't happen. Or what about like an electric collar? Is that inhumane? Do people not use those? I mean, I just don't understand why this is such a complicated thing to receive a package from Amazon.

Yeah, it really is. So everybody's running around screaming and honking and beeping. Buildings are crumbling or the earth is opening. And finally, you know, of course, one of the dogs runs for the hills because, you know, who wouldn't really? The dog's like, please save me. Please, please. And then it just turns out to be Kyle's friends.

It's like, no, don't take me back. Please. I thought I had a way out. Actually what's funny is that Kyle is spending so much time bringing the dogs in and all this stuff. It goes on. It's all edited together, but it's clearly long enough that Kyle is like, oh my God, I almost forgot about, I forgot about the Amazon guy. I'm like, how did you

forget about the Amazon guy? That's why you're doing all this bullshit. And then she's like, he's probably gone by now. He's probably gotten is he still there? Is he still there? So by the way, everyone, and next time you have an Amazon delivery and it says like supposed to arrive between 10am and 2pm and it shows up at like 630. It's because of Kyle Richards because these Amazon drivers are sitting there waiting for idiots like Kyle to wrangle a farmstead of animals and like rather than just have a simple, like just opening the gate, she could just walk to the gate,

take the package and close the gate again. Well, can't have it that easy. So then it's wacky, the gate opens and guess who it is? It's wacky Kathy Erickson. So they come in and she's like, oh my God, you guys, that's so sweet. You're doing a pizza night for me. I'm like, gluten, yay!

Thank you so much. I'm going through such a difficult night right now. So, by the way, I'm just going through the notes and like, just as an example of how much craziness and how much time it took for Kyle to get this situation order. It's like a page of notes of Kyle going through the house trying to clean things up. Two.

It's wild. It's two full pages. It's wild. So, Portia goes upstairs and then they talk about PJs, like how amazing this is. And they joke about making the pizza, and we see them making the pizza and all that good stuff. And Garcelle's not here because she's in Atlanta

shooting two movies. And then we see a flashback of certain FaceTime and Garcelle. And Garcelle's like, oh, Black Girl's missing the second installment. It's been so good. I mean, it's completely different. This one for the title, we're calling it Black Girl Missing Super Missing. Like, really missing. Like, where the fuck is she?

It's a little long for a poster, but we're working on it. BLAIR Son's like, you already lost one black girl. What kind of mother are you? She's like, girl, I swear to God, you are gonna be missing soon. So, they're talking about being excited to see her later. And then, um, Kathy's like, well, I saw a picture of Maurizio.

What? Fug, Lee. What the hell happened to him? He aged. And I was like, I don't like that. I don't like you talking about him like that. And she's like, I think she's referring to his Instagram stories where he's in the gym. And I just don't like that. I don't like that. It doesn't make me feel good, Kathy. And Kathy's like, oh, I thought it would. Makes me feel good.

Kathy's like, he's fucked now. Well, also, I think Kathy thought she was going to be giving Kyle a big compliment. Because she's like, Kyle, you could be his daughter now. And that's always been Kyle's goal, is to giving Kyle a big compliment because she's like, Kyle, you could be his daughter now. And like, that's always been Kyle's goal is to basically be like a peer with her daughters. But now, now she's like, wait a second. Now that I hear that articulated, it's really creepy.

Stop it, Cathy. So well, well, we saw him working out on Instagram, you know, and basically, Kyle's, Kyle's saying how she just really does not like how Mauricio is putting up thirst traps on Instagram at the gym. It makes her really upset. Um, but Kyle does the same thing. You know, she was doing the same thing at the same time. They were doing the typical divorce thing where they're like, oh my God, look at my divorce body. And Kathy's like, yeah, but look at your face, you know? So, I mean, listen, I think that she's been a good sister. I know Kyle doesn't like it, but this is what good sisters do. You know, this is what I do for my

sister. I'm like, your ex can die in a fire. Do you want me to set it? I'll do it. She's like, no, Ronnie, don't. I'm like, do you want to ruin his life? Do you want to come with fake names and go give him Yelp reviews? She's like, no, Ronnie. That's what you do. You write it down for your sister. That's right. So, Kathy says, um, you know, over the years, we've had our ups and downs with Mo. You know, I'd heard from a lot of people that he was talking a lot about Hilton and Hyland and Rick on his show. We don't discuss him. I would say the only advice I could give

would be just to move on. I was like, ooh, that is so cold. It was like both A, I don't watch his show, like, and she sort of says it in this way, like, his little show, which has now been canceled, by the way. And then she's like, yeah, yeah, we're not, he's not on our radar at all. Which by the way, we know that they talk about him, but I just love the way she just dismisses him. It's so cold. Yeah. And, uh, you know, cause this is Kathy's big like told you so moment too, because she hates, she's hated his ass for years. So this is, it's got to suck for Kyle

because she's going through this with Moe, but she also has to like deal with her sister like gloating, you know? So, so it's like, well, I think going forward, you might need a poker face, at least for me, you know, I had a husband that was really, really powerful. And I was like a deer in the headlines. I was like you last night when Tariq was yelling that you were calling you a bad person.

That was fun. That was fun. But yeah, Kyle. And then it turns into everybody else unloading their own divorce trauma on top of Kyle, which that's not really helpful. Where everybody's like, oh yeah. Yeah, but it's funny. Oh yeah, I totally got fucked over by mine. Get ready, Kyle. Good your lawns.

You're about to get dragged from one end of a parking lot to another, Kyle. She's like, um, we only have the utmost respect for each other, even through this process. He sent me flowers on Mother's Day, which is so funny because when they were married, Kyle was like, yeah, we're kind of the best couple on Bravo right now. And now she's doing the whole, yeah, we're kind of the best divorces on Bravo right now.

She's just always gonna try to be like that. So, it's like, yeah, I used to get flowers for a long time. It's the most romantic divorce ever, and everybody's jealous of it, you know? Yeah, well, I used to get flowers for a long time, Kyle. I haven't gotten flowers in a year now. But you know what they say, I can buy my own flowers.

Watch, go to my own Oscar parties. Is that the lyric? Cause that's that was my experience. Anyway, and Erica's like, you know, like flowers girl, you got a monthly payment. Relax. And she's like that ain't nothing.

Okay. And she goes, oh, it means something. She like it means something at least as somebody gets nothing, at least you walked out with something. Please. I got a few gay guys thrown in jail. Big deal. something. At least as somebody gets nothing, at least you walk out with something. Please! I got a few gay guys thrown in jail. Big deal! I mean, it was fun while it lasted, but still, I deserve more. You know, so many people are just used to seeing and hearing about nasty divorces, fighting over custody and money. It's just the norm. I don't think our marriage was maybe the

norm. I don't think our family and what we have and what we built was necessarily the norm. Maybe that's pompous of me. I don't know. Maybe we're a little different. I don't know. Some might say better. Who knows? We're kind of like Neubren. Little yellow, different, better. Except we're maybe not yellow. But anyway, we're just better. What were we talking about again? You're on mute. You're on mute. You're on mute. You're on mute. Oh, God damn it.

I'm so sorry. I'm sitting here with my finger on the mute button and I just keep forgetting to press it. I'm like, don't leave me hacking with a new print joke. I jumped in right on time. I promise you. So everybody, everybody leaves and suns on our way out. It's like, okay, that picture in the picture.

I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video.

I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going to go back to the beginning of the video. I'm like, I'm going. So everybody leaves and Sutton's on her way out. She's like, okay, that picture in the office, that feel weird. And she's like, it does feel weird that my picture was taken down.

She goes, yeah, well, there's that. Okay, on that note, good night, sweet dreams. You're losing everything. Have fun burning, okay? Have fun while Rome burns down and Ramsey Caesar, okay? To Brutus, I know, I know all the lines. Have fun burning. Okay. Have fun while Rome burns down and Randy Caesar. Okay. Et tu, Brutus? I know. I know all the lines. Have fun, Kyle. So then we see Kyle closing the office door while inspiring Trixie Monaco music players.

I would never do that to you. I would never make you cry like that. Baby, I can see right through you. I wouldn't do that. You're probably on tour posters. Like, who are we kidding? Be quiet. So then, um, PK pulls up to a restaurant and announces a big treat and PK's seen. It's a what?

It's a Bravo restaurant, Oliveira, owned and operated by Marissa Herrmer of Ladies in London. Why? Why don't they have her on here? She just went through a juicy divorce in Beverly Hills. owned and operated by Marissa Herrmer of Ladies of London. Oh, whee! Why don't they have her on here? She just went through a juicy divorce in Beverly Hills. She actually... I'm... I'm actually... That's a great point. I'm actually a little surprised that they have not tried to recruit Marissa,

since she does already have a track record. But she never was like the most interesting person on Ladies of London. She was like, hi, I'm Marissa, I'm a restaurant. No, she gets terribly offended by things. And sometimes that's all you need, you know, somebody to be like, I'm so offended. They should just quietly resurrect all the Ladies of London

on different Real Housewives. Yeah. Next up, like, Caprice shows up on Potomac for some reason. Not working out so well, unfortunately. So, DeRite and Pet and PK's big scene. And they've just announced their separation. But they have not seen each other since, because PK went straight to a hotel.

So, here we go. So, PK is like, I'll have some norma-caholic beer then. And I'll also have some bread and some shoestring fries. Well, just do that. Bread, shoestring, shoestring fries, and a sandwich and a glass, please. That'd be fantastic. And he's all skinny, by the way, which makes it even funnier.

PK ordering like PK. Not as skinny as that lithe waiter who kept on doing different poses next to their table. First he's like, cookette-ish, and then he like goes behind their bankette and is like, he's like talking to them from over his back and he like swoops over with his arm. That waiter was mugging for the camera so hard it was hilarious. So then...

I thought he was going to be like a grand jeté. Yeah. So, Dorit comes in and she's like, Well, Pee-kee, oh no, she's just telling us, there's so much to discuss. I thought it was best for us to have dinner, have a nice meal, relax, start figuring out together how to navigate the new situation of severe alcoholism. How are you, PK? He's like, I'm all right. How about you?

So yeah, I'm okay. So I'm going to go for, I'm going to get some Maggi beef in case anyone cares. Okay. Anyway, let's go on beyond past the ordering. Hey, do you like what this outfit I'm wearing? Look, I'm going to stand up right now. Single PK. Oh, oh, single PK. And three clearly does not like this phrase. The action. And also, I don't know if he knows how hurtful that is to call himself single. Piquet right in front of me. What a severe alcoholic.

By the way, can I have a Belvedere? You don't mind if I drink to you, Piquet. I'll have a Belvedere soda with three lemons. Squeeze and then wait for it. Wait for it. Why are you posing like that? Why are you bent over backwards? Stand up straight. I'm trying to give you an O. His ankle's behind his head. Get it down, waiter man, and write this.

Three lemons squeezed in, and then... Caucus out! Thank you, clear. And bring... And bring one extra straw, just to taunt him a little bit. Um, so... Let's just bring one extra straw and make a placemat for it, so we can call it goal weight.

Goal weight. I don't know if PK realizes that saying single PK is as hurtful as it is, or as alarming as it is for anyone who's also single. Last thing they need to hear is that PK is single and on the market. So... Hide your children. Hide your remote controls. Hide your children. Hide your remote controls. Hide your lays. So he's like, look here, I'm sitting here eating.

And she's like, I know what our marriage has often been about. He's like, well, I'm kind of skinny for me at the moment. Not if you keep eating like that, PK. So he's like, I'm edgy. I'm edgy. I'm edgy. I'm edgy. I'm edgy. I'm edgy. I'm edgy. if you keep eating like that, PK. BOTH LAUGH BOTH MAKE BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Drinking is medication, the disease is de-reet, right? But, you know, I'm very clear that we've made our decision, we've done what we've done, I'm really clear on it.

You know, you're my best friend, you're my wife, we don't speak to each other nicely, you know, I get it. If the server comes with my Wagyu beef, telling me it's made a mistake, demand a chocolate cake and a free tab. All right, do you understand? Will you do that or not? Are you my wife or are you not my wife? Are you a disease or not?

You're both, get me a chocolate cake. To test. I mean, you're my best friend and you're my wife, and yet we don't speak to each other nicely. If the server came over, we spoke to the server, how we speak to each other, we'd be thrown out of this restaurant for being so boring. Okay? You know, like, it's like,

I feel like we don't even like each other. I don't question the love, but we stop liking each other. I'm like, maybe she stopped liking you because you're monologuing about the relationship and you're just trying to have a pleasant evening. And Dorit's like, wait, do you feel like you don't like me? He's like, well, when you talk to me a certain way, I mean, you make me feel a certain way,

no, I don't like you. She goes, that's not what I asked, okay. Well, there are times where I don't like you. Correct. I don't ever want to not like you. She's like, well, this is. Well, there are times I don't like you. Correct. I don't ever want to not like you. So this is something where again, I just don't understand. PK, I'm going to put the words are T a T at the end of understand. So you really understand it. I don't understand. Am I sorry, because you're doing this? No, you're just doing this whole monologue. But behind you, there's been a grand reveal. Oh, really? Oh, let's take a look. Everybody.

Like the painter took down like the paper and it was like you're like, you're doing the whole thing and he's like, da da da da da. Let's be watching. Oh, here comes number two. And look, here it comes. I'm going to put us on a wider screen so people can see, okay? Where's the wider screen, Ben? Could you put it on the wider shot? It's in the lower right hand. Oh, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it.

Um, it went... it went missing for a moment. Yeah, I'll fix it. It's actually completely gone. Where'd it go? Where did it go? Where's our little special wide screen view? On a show way. Oh, new hip. Where is our special widescreen? I will set this up. I know

how to fix it. I know how to fix it. I just wanted people to see that these curtains are actually working now. So good. Okay, the curtains work. I was like, these curtains are not going to work in here. But now that you can see the view, they work pretty well. Very nice. Look, look, there we go. Yeah, there we go. Ladies and gentlemen... Da-da-da-da-da.

Da-da-da-da-da-da. You're the CEO of Kicking Up Plastic. Yes! It's all coming down right now. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Ch-ch. And while we get a nice wider view of your room, we get a nice wider view of my childhood room.

You're welcome. You're welcome. Love it. The air conditioner bonnet. Okay. So Dorit's like, I just don't understand PK. I don't understand. And he's like, well, I think I've made the biggest change

that you wanted and you wanted your biggest ass was for me to stop drinking and stop eating mayonnaise after the jar. And I've done one of those things. So I've at least done 50% of the things that you wanted. Well, and you don't think that I've made any changes. I've got a different hair color pick here. Do you think this is easy? Brunettes don't have fun. No, I don't think you made any changes to discussions and arguments. I think you went very low quickly. I think you knew my touch points by pointing out the fact that I hired Berlin for a pretty woman party. Okay. I understand that's different, but sometimes you can only get what you can get. Sorry, Roxette was booked. You had no problem. You had no problem if you were annoyed and going deep like that.

Well, the progression in mine and PK's fighting, and this is where it really became too toxic, was that it went just from screaming at each other, to not using profanity, to then cursing at one another, to actually having digs below the belt. Oh, I hope you rot in hell. Oh, I hope. What are you doing?

Diggs. Little Diggs. Little Diggs. Diggs. Almost bawdy. It's almost bawdy. And I hope you rot in hell. I hope you're done. You're alone for the rest of your life. You're going to drown your own fupa. You're going to drown in your own fupa if you stand on your head for too long. You know, things like that. You py motherfucker, I hope you died the best you can you were born from.

You know, stuff like that. Just fun little digs. The sort of things that a severe alcoholic would say, which he is. So, it reads like, you know, P.K., when you get into a mood or you're angry or you get your hand stuck in a combo's bag, you can't really snap out of it. hands stuck in a combo's bag, you can't really snap out of it.

BLAIR LAUGHS Well, babe, I think we've got the brooded resentments that have been built up as a result of what life has thrown at us, including new flavors from combos, it happens. So then the waiter like comes and does a narrow basket drops. Getting your hands stuck in the back of the couple. It happens. Don't judge me. It's why I got clear, you know?

I was drunk, couldn't figure out which was the exit. Well, I used to be your number one. And what I want from our marriage is even above the kids, you know, in a real marriage, spouses come first, right? I mean, that, look, you're walking around with those little things. I mean, they can barely talk to each other. They can't even drive yet. Why are you talking to them? They're our children, PK. They're disgusting. All right. Little moochers. They don't have a job. You know, I have my credits terrible because of those little farts. All right. What are you doing with them?

Is that true that in a marriage when you have kids, the spouse comes before the kids? Is that true? I thought the kids were. It is. Well, that's what my parents told me. I mean, me and my mom used to get into it all the time. And my dad was like, I'm always going to choose your mother. I said, but you can see what's going on here, you know, and he's like, well, but I'm always going to choose. He said, it doesn't matter. She's my wife. She comes before you. And in the Bible, you choose your, you choose your spouse over your kids. Your kids are secondary. Because without the spouse, supposedly, you can't raise a good child. At least that's in the...

Obviously, we know that's not true. But I mean, in religion. I get backing up your spouse. I mean, like, united front, like, with your kid, against your kid and stuff. But like, um, I don't know if it, does it really also mean like, babe, I can't believe you're staying home to take care of a child when we can be going to a bar. Do you know how many openings you've missed? You know, I had to sit down and watch wicked alone. Susan Boyle is playing the West End and skipping that so that we can watch Jagger learn how

to do math. I don't think we need to do that, babe. Choosing our child over me, babe. But it was Singapore math. I didn't want him to be Singapore. You know, you wanted to go see a poor singer. I wanted to deal with Singapore math. Come on. There's no contest, Pee Kee. So he's like, well, you know, I wanted, you made me feel less than, you made me feel less than so many times, so many times, I've told you this. He's like, well, I've never heard it, PK. Not like you just said, PK. I mean, you said this and that.

I wish you were Kyle. You know, Jaguar smells like pickles, even though you're the one with the pickle face. You've said emasculate. I've heard, I'm a man! I've heard I'm angry, but I've never heard this right here. This openness you just gave me. You're more open than the jar of mayonnaise that you were slurping out of when I arrived in.

Don't think I didn't see it! I appreciate it. You know, PK, you are sort of like that, that jar of mayonnaise. It's almost like the slogan says, bring out the Hellmans, bring out the best. But I have to say, I never really heard... I've heard you say these things before, but I never really heard it this way. I think part of it is that when you're speaking to me tonight, I'm not getting a constant spray of better cheddars on my face so I can really focus on the words.

That helps. That helps. So it's like, look, you're family, you're the mother of my kids, yada yada, it's going on my face so I can really focus on the words. That helps. That helps. So it's like, look, you're family, you're the mother of my kids, yada yada, it's going to be fine. Please don't get mad at me because you're not getting half of shit. I don't have anything as you know. So are we done here? And she's like, well, we're already talking five times today.

He's like, well, we're not going to. We're not going to talk five times today. And she's like, oh, I don't understand. I don't... Give me a tea. Waiter, bring me a tea to put at the end of understand. So I really hit this one home. Okay. I don't understand. That codependency that we have, it's got to take a break. I'm replacing it with Maurizio. Sorry.

We need to remain committed. He's like, no, that's what divorce is. We are no longer committed. He's like, wait a minute. I want... I want to give you space to break the codependency. Because I've already broken it. I'm already codependent on new people now. She's like, I'm drowning your food, motherfucker! I will not! Grease is over! Grease is over!

Don't yell in Marissa Herman's restaurant. She's a sophisticated lady. I'm very annoyed, and also I just wanted to stop by and say, I hope you're enjoying your dinner. Also, I love hot dogs. Okay, carry on. That was pretty much her personality. So, Dorit is like, well, I guess because we've been talking and I guess since we've been talking and things have been so friendly, I thought we could navigate this together. But then I remembered the last time PK tried to navigate, he got a DUI.

So who else would be alcoholic? No more navigating here. Well, that brings us to the end of Beverly Hills. What a wackadoo chaotic time I had recording it and watching it. Super fun. What a great time. Guys, we're so thankful for you really. Thank you for everything you do for us. Thanks for letting us do this with our lives. I mean, we are a couple of blessed little turkeys. That's for damn sure.

We sure are. Sorry that for crap that's on demand. Sorry again that my lips are out of sync with my voice, but you know, it's just what happens. And we are going to have a Salt Lake City recap, fresh and ready for you for Thanksgiving. So don't you worry. Two parter baby, another two parter coming up. It's a doozy and it's a little bit. And apologize to all the husband stuck in the family car listening to this bullshit, but we love you too suckers.

Bye everybody, talk to you next time. I apologize for nothing. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice in King. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!

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