Watch What Crappens - #2637 RHOSLC S5E11 Part One: Pouts Honor

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recap! It’s a Troop Beverly Hills-themed parking lot party on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Bronwyn is stepping in it again. Meredith shakes her wig a lot, Mary loses it with the ladies, and Robert Jr finally opens up about what’s been going on.. Watch this recap as a video and get all of our bonus episodes over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Well hello and happy turkey day to you folks out there. You're listening to the soothing, soothing sounds of Ronnie and Ben here on Watch for Crappins, a podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on your braves. Do you feel like I'm having sex with your brain with my sexy, sexy voice? Well, I hope you've climaxed properly and you're thankful. Cause I'm so thankful to be here.

Hi Ben, hello, happy Thanksgiving. Hi, how are you? How's it going? Good. Hi everybody, Happy holidays. We're recording this a little bit before we're doing a late night recap, but it is time for us to travel for the holidays. So we're actually doing this out of order.

We've got another couple of recaps coming for us before Thanksgiving is upon us. But for you, it is today. Well, if you're listening today, I put you always should be because I mean, leave your family, leave your family and put me in your goddamn brain. How has your Thanksgiving been going? Do you think so far, Ben? How would you think it's going? If you could see.

I think my, I think that my Thanksgiving has been wonderful so far. I cooked some food yesterday and I was going to sleep in today, but I got woken up by my mom needed something in the closet in my bedroom. So she woke me up and now we are ready to bring a whole bunch of food to my brother's house. That is exactly how my Thanksgiving is going. Wow. That's amazing. Well, we got in a fight about politics the night before Thanksgiving, but then we decided to just get over and forgive each other because, you know, fake it or one of us is dead at least.

And then they're going to come over to my house today because I'm hosting Knaz today. So we're going to have Nora and Cindy and their whole family over with our family, hopefully a good old fashionedfashioned tonta doll, will make an appearance to play some cards with us. And we're gonna do our best not to talk about politics, but we're going to thinly veil jabs at each other the whole time about how both of our sides are ruining the country and hate each other.

So I'd imagine it's a pretty American Thanksgiving. Yeah, I love that. I think that sounds really wonderful. I think it sounds like just the best time of all. Guys, I'm so grateful to be surrounded by all these people. I want to drown. Currently, due to the current political climate. We all find ourselves in, but guess what? You know what? We all still love each other,

because it is Turkey Day. And at the end of the day, if you can't murder something and then gather around to eat it, then what is love really? What is it guys? Welcome to the real house. That's the salt Lake city today is a very special episode. It actually is kind of at the end. Super sad.

I actually just sat on the couch squirting out salties, which didn't feel great. So that was a nice little sob I had. So thanks a lot for that. Cosby. I know. The combination of that and then I had just watched, I had just finished watching Real Housewives of New York. And that also ended with, like, I was like, I mean, Bravo's really doing a number on me. I haven't watched Beverly Hills yet.

But I swear to God, if it's three shows in a row, that's gonna make me cry. I'm just, I'm giving up. Because it's not supposed to be like this. Well, I didn't watch New York yet, but let me say Salt Lake City earns that. You know what I mean? They've earned their tears, and they don't force it. And it's so rare that that happens on that show. New York is just one big, long fucking trauma dump.

I have not watched this episode, so I'm sure I'm gonna eat my words later, and people are gonna jump all over me for being insensitive. But that show is constant trauma all the time, and they have not earned it with me. Okay, I need you guys to do something different. Give me a fucking happy show. Okay? You're in for a real treat this episode, Ronnie.

I can't wait for you to see it. I actually thought the Doroney episode this week was actually, I'm gonna say, I thought it was a really good episode, mainly because I felt like it was they were talking about real shit. But... I don't want to talk about real shit. I want to fight about cupcakes. I do too. But if it's like, but like I want real fights and not like, I don't know. I think the bar is just so low for New York that I'm literally happy when there's anything lightly compelling that's happening. But anyway, get excited for another hour of definitely no trauma dumping whatsoever. You will not find any trauma in this week's rony episode.

I cannot marinate in any more of your goddamn drama, Real Housewives of New York. Get a hold of yourselves for Christ's sake. Go to therapy alone like everybody else. Stop spewing your therapy all over me. Okay? It's not my job. I guess it technically is. But still. It's a little bit of a tearjerker. I'm not going to lie. It's a little bit of a tearjerker. Oh, God. All right. Well...

You just get ready. You just get ready. It might be a good one to skip this week. We'll decide later. Um, okay, everybody. So, Real Housewives of Salt Lake, titty. Here we are. What a day. And, you know, another thing this show can just do so deftly, A, have a party in a parking lot.

I mean, this show, to this day, will just be like my childhood and have your birthday party in goddamn Ascarity Park. Okay? That's where we're having your birthday. There's 20 other kids having their birthday. Their moms didn't want to spend any money on them either. So, here we are at the park. And that's this whole show. But also, they can really deftly mix drama like this last scene, which is so real and heartbreaking,

and with a true Beverly Hills episode. It's just so good. Yeah, they really can pivot. And then wedging a Shabbat in the middle of it. I mean, they really kind of like put it all in there. They're like, you know what? America's gathering for Thanksgiving. Let us give a Thanksgiving feast of housewives to you all. You get a little bit of petty squabbling.

You get some gut wrenching drama. You get some Shabbat. You get some Jared Osmond in there. I mean, we really have all the side dishes in the mains and one and a turkey., uh, you know, Salt Lake City really knows how to do it. And honestly, you're so right. I mean, there is no show that does a folding chair better than Salt Lake City. I mean, I'm surprised the show has not been sponsored by those Kirkland foldout chairs you get at Costco that you bring to concerts and picnics because seriously a beer, I swear to God, if they start passing around a giant bag of like Nike gym socks, I'm going to be like they were at Costco before they shot this. I'm telling you this right now.

I'm not saying I'm wearing it right now. Housewives ever. This just like, you know what guys, no one in town would let us shoot. So let's just meet and shoot in the big lots of parking lot. It's been closed down for a few months. There's a few trucks there with some people living in it. No one in town would let us shoot, so let's just meet and shoot in the big lots of parking lot. It's been closed down for a few months. There's a few trucks there with some people living in it. You know, who cares?

Seth will grant permission. It's okay. We're funny. We're a funny fucking costume and let's do it. It is funny. I mean, talking about Roni, because like, as you did see in the last episode, the last episode ended with U Uber, you know, she put together the perfect picnic in central park. And there's this beautiful picnic with

like fake pigeons and everything and blankets and little canapes and all these things. And this like fold out chairs pass around plastic trays from the Albertsons of like, like different, like cheddar cheeses and Munster. You know the tray we've all seen it. On a big lighter next to them. M&M cook like those cookies with the M&M's in them that are like all butter and preservatives. Like the whole thing.

There's like, there's some aloe cheese maybe going through. But like. Aloe cheese. I always thought that was so fancy because, you know, the song, Alouette, Alouette, or whatever it is. I'm like, oh my God, French is fancy. So, it was like Rondelet. You know, that's a cheese. It's very fancy.

That is a cheese. It's a French cheese. So, I don't really know where I'm going with that. But I don't know. Anything that sounds French, I just assume is fancy. Well, you know, I'm on an alouette journey right now because last week when I went to the supermarket, I walked in on the grand reopening

and they were giving away samples. I mean, like Costco had nothing on pavilions last week. I mean, they literally gave me a free bag of groceries and I walked through and there were so many samples and I was in a rush because I had to come back to podcasts. I'd just gone to get like some cereal because I didn't have any cereal. And there was, I want to sit, I could have spent an hour and a half in pavilions last week because it's so many samples. But one sample I did have was like a Trisket with aloe cheese on it. And I'm like, I don't know

if I've had aloe or not, but I am buying this right now. And I bought that aloe and I've been eating it all week long. I love it. Wonderful. Yeah, that's great. Alouette, alouette. Well, I did not make this artwork in honor of tonight's show, but you know, I'm making all this housewives artwork

for my office here in Los Angeles. And I just did this Mary artwork, so I wanted to show people. Because it's Salt Lake City Day. What do you think? That's actually really... It's that badass. It's like a gorgeous picture of her. It's like actually almost like a little Tina Ternary. It like feels...

She has such contours. How did you get such contours on Mary? Is this... I did a painting thing on her. I did like a painting. Oh, did the painting? Yeah. Well, I mean, I didn't paint it. The computer painted it. It's amazing.

Yeah. Isn't that cool? God, you know, I love you. She looks gorgeous. Yeah, it's not cool. Yes, like her freaky, you know, like one of her like crazy looks but gosh, looks gorgeous. Oh, yeah, this is crappens on demand as you so if you want video go to patreon get that also bends a little out of sync today we know sorry it's just it's internet connection. It's not been Ben is not AI haven't replaced Ben yet with AI. I'm in Katona, New York right now where I think like DSL has just arrived. So like the,

you know, the connection is not the strongest here. So I apologize for being a little out of sync, but the key is this. Don't necessarily look at my lips. Just look at the beautiful bonnet on my air conditioner behind me that is there to prevent frigid breezes. Focus on the bonnet. Okay. When you're traumatized by the sync, the lack of synchronicity, just look at the bonnet. Just look at that little brass light over there in the corner. Just look at the bottles of sky vodka that I put back there when I was 21, thinking that it would become a thing. Like I'd have a collection of sky vodka bottles will be so cool. Yeah. Just look at all those things. Oh, thank you for cropping out all the horrific artifacts of my childhood. That was rude. It's back. What's this? It's getting jazzy. Anyway, let's get into it. It's literally

one a.m. and we have to wake up tomorrow morning and do this all over with two more shows. So, well, maybe one. The one we've ever watched, yeah. So we, oh. Okay, so real housewives of Salt Lake Titty. Okay, so Heather is bringing flowers to Whitney. Okay, so basically they're getting ready for Girl Scout stuff.

They're putting on Girl Scout sashes, doing this and that. And Heather's like, Whitney and I are kind of the sporty, outdoorsy girls of the group, if you can believe it. And based on what happened at Brunch, I think a little gathering around the campfire is exactly what this group means. I don't think this group needs to be near an open flame. This group is already volatile enough. We don't need to like introduce the threat of fire.

I think the last time there was an open flame is when Heather made that hot dog on like the fire pit that's not supposed to be used for food. So Heather's like, things have been tense. And when the finger starts wagging and the bangs start creeping, you're in trouble. Ma'am, you were the chief driver of that tension. So let's not act like you are not a part of this, ladies. Well, that's why it's so funny because she's really enjoying it. She's like, everyone hates each other right now.

And only Whitney and I can bring each other back together. Also, her perkiness is out of control. Like her put on perkiness is out of control. Like, her put on perkiness is out of control this year. She's always had a tinge of it, but now it's psychotic. It's like... It's just me and Whitney bringing it all together. All the girls just need us. It's intense. Um, also, you're exploding the group.

It was like me after... It was like me after I had aloe cheese. I was like, oh I had aloe cheese. I was like, Oh my God, life is so sunny. All of a sudden this is like you're exploding the group and then patting yourself on the back for bringing them together. You split them apart in the first place. OK, you can't tear people apart and then brag about being glue.

You know what I mean? I mean, I guess you can. That's actually a smart business move for glue. But still, it's great. Yeah. You. That's actually a smart business move for glue, but still. It's great. Yeah. You know what's a bad business move for glue? Being made out of horses. I mean, I don't know why people even still stick things together.

What a horrible PR move. Why would you do that? No one wants to use something that's been... I mean, I do it. But every time I use something, even when I open a letter, I'm like, the poor horse that died for this. Yeah. Elmer should be arrested. So, Heather is smart.

We will never say that she's not smart because she's really had a bad season and she's been in this big fight with Bronwyn. And she kind of, she bent the knee last episode. And now she's able to step back into the role that she loves the most, which is enjoying all the chaos around her and playing the referee and acting like she's like, this is crazy what's happening, as if she herself was not part

of a ridiculous spat for several episodes. So she's gonna do this whole thing, and she's like saying, yeah, when, you know, the finger starts wagging, the bangs start creeping, you're in trouble. And then we got a flashback of Meredith at Mary's brunch going, stop! So then Heather's like, we come back, and Heather's like, there's no one better at Kumbaya

than me and Whitney. Like, yeah. But you guys also hate each other, so there's that too. Yeah. And Whitney's like, I thought we could do some roasting of marshmallows. Yeah, Whitney. I love Whitney over there just coming up with base model Girl Scout things. We know Whitney, you're gonna roast some goddamn marshmallows, okay?

So Heather's like, I'll make the invitation. In the wilderness of life, everyone could use some skills. Join us for our version of Girls Camp. Did you just climax? Let's write the damn event. In her size 48 font. Now, you know, the other thing is that I just want to say, spoiler alert, Girls Camp apparently is just doing a potato sack race and then sitting around in your Kirkland chairs. So I'm not sure how girls campy this really was. But the attire is Girl Scout chic,

which I think is just Jenna Lyons, right? Just khaki. A lot of khaki. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I don't really know what it could be. You know who had it made the brownies? Because I think that that's like pre... First of all, I mean, delicious. Am I right? But also, that's not great to like name a girl's group.

I don't know. It sounds like I feel predatorish for liking Brownies. Like, who doesn't love a Brownie? You know, like, mmm, I love a Brownie. Delicious. Like, gross. Those are like little girls in a club. But first of all, Brownies, they had it made because they're named Brownies and everybody loves a Brownie.

But also because they got to wear green. I think Brownies were green and Girl Scouts were khaki and green. The real khaki was the Boy Scouts. No, you're right. You're right. The girl, the Brownies did wear, did they wear green? No boys. No, Boy Scouts are the ones that wore green. I think Brownies were brown too. I think it was like an all brown. Green. I see. I think Brownies were brown. I think it's the Boy Scouts. Brownies were green as part me see. I think Brownies were brown. I think it's the boys.

Brownies were green as part of their Girl Scout uniform. Membership star. Brownies were a game membership disc behind their Girl Scout membership. Okay. I need to see a Brownie uniform because I'm not educated enough. Here's a question before Ronnie Brown away by the FBI for looking up Brownie. And talking about wanting to eat them on a national show. Okay, they are, they're in brown. They're in greenish, some of them are in greenish brown.

But most of them. Brown with some green highlights maybe. You know what, like, here's a question that I think is relevant to these days. Why is it that the introductory version of a Boy Scout is a Cub Scout, but the introductory version of a Boy Scout is a Cub Scout, but the introductory version of a Girl Scout is a Brownie? Why is one like a little adorable animal that's going to grow up to be a big strong like,

you know, like a boy is almost like saying a boy is a bear. But why, why do the girls, why are there, why is their origin story just like a delicious treat? Why did it, why did it go that way? I'm not trying to make a statement. I'm not trying to make a statement about patriarch or anything. I'm just curious about the naming conventions. Yeah. I don't really know, but here's what I do know. Girl Scouts were green. So there's so much I've learned today.

So we're all over the map. Yeah. So boy, so girl Scouts were brownies and then they become Girl Scouts and then Boy Scouts are Cubs and they become Boy Scouts. And they wear brown. And then they become brown. And that's the part they leave out when we become bears. They become Eagles. They become Eagles?

They become Eagles, don't they? They become Eagle Scouts and then they turn blue, right? Isn't that a different thing, Eagle Scouts? I thought Eagle Scout was like the highest level. It's like you've reached highest awareness of boys. Do you know what I was in? I probably shouldn't say this out loud because it's problematic now, but back in the day, it wasn't problematic. It was called Indian Scouts.

And boys went with their dads. And it was like we kind of like talked about, you know, Native American stuff, and then passed along fatherly traditions, which were mostly cutting animal shapes out of soap bars, and stuff like that. And one night, we were camping in the Red Rocks in Arizona, and sunset came and all these rattlesnakes came out, and the dads came out with axes and chopped them all up.

And I've always thought my dad was the biggest fucking hero because of that. I was like, where'd they all get axes? That was amazing. They were just like chopping, chopping them all up. I was like, yes, Indian guides. Even though I can't say that now. Yes. Wow. That is wild.

I was terrible at carving soaks. I was totally with it. That's much worse. Yeah. You know what I was? I was someone who went to the NWCA, the Northern Westchester Center for the Arts, and I would do drawings. I like that, Max. But maybe a spider on the wall occasionally.

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Listen to the Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so Girl Scouts party. So Heather does that invite. And then, um, Whitney's like, can you say, bring your Hills and your fills? And Heather's like, no Hills, but all the fields. Wait, walk me through what you're thinking. What's, what is this party again? What are we doing here? I think we should play a game. A game called, what is Kemosabe? Is it sushi? Wait, wait. Walk me through that again.

Like the most Whitney phrase of all time. Walk me through what you're thinking. Can you take it from the top, please? Thank you. You know, girl camp things. Relay races, team building activities, cool girls ignoring non-cool girls, non-cool girls trying to prove themselves to the cool girls. Please cool girls like me. Girls, non-cool girls lifting up their shirts

and pressing their boobs. You know what I was thinking the other day? I'm so sorry to the audience. This is gonna be ten hours of complete gobbledygook. Wait, walk me through what you were thinking the other day. I was thinking about how, do you remember in season one, the fight, well, there were so many stupid fights, but one of the fights was between Heather and Lisa

because Lisa said, I didn't really know her in college. She was just a good time girl. I just know that she was a good time girl. And Heather got so because Lisa said, I didn't really know her in college. She was just a good time girl. I just know that she was a good time girl. And Heather got so upset, like, how could you try and ruin my reputation by calling me a good time girl? What does that even mean? And Lisa said, well, it's like when, you know,

you lift your shirt, she like lifted her shirt. Like being like, ha ha, like shoved my boobs to people. And Heather was mortifying. And then I was thinking about how when Heather got her black eye, how she and Jen were doing that, like, lifting their boobs and pressing them up against the glass at each other, and I was like, wow, was that a confession? And none of us really ever got it?

That Heather was confessing to being a good time girl that whole time? John, John, John. Wait, walk me through that again. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do So Heather's like, okay, well, after everything that went down at Mary's house, and she's like, that was bananas. I don't even know how Meredith and I can ever be in a room together again. Flashback. Stop scrolling on my phone.

If you accidentally bleed a picture of my newborn daughter, Brooks, I will be so mad at you. Oh. I like when they showed that clip because they showed Whitney grabbing the phone and then literally going like this with her fingers, flicking and scrolling really quickly

and pinching and zooming. And then she goes, I was just trying to turn up the volume. That's not where the volume is located, man. It's not pinching, it's swiping. I know. And scrolling. We all know.

So there's like, well, well, I want Meredith there because I love her. And also because I think she missed out on a lot of this stuff. I don't think she did crafts or camping. And Whitney's like, do you think that's her problem? Is that why she's so miserable? Wait a second. I figured it out. She never did crafts.

Dodo, dodo, dodo. I'm not falling into that little bear trap, Whitney. How? Well, I love Meredith, but I don't like her right now. Can I invite Bronwyn? And she's like, oh, I don't know Bronwyn enough to love her or to hate her, but I guess I'm gonna be nice to her since I had to kiss her ass openly last week

to get invited to anything again. I don't want to say I was proud of you, but I was like, Heather, that was a beautiful moment of like, um, seeing you like willing to accept the apology. That was big. And sorrys don't come to you very... I almost made it, line, easily. You know, I know that it seems like I just kissed her butt last week so that she would accept me,

and that's probably true, but I still don't trust the bitch, basically. And she tells Whitney, between you and me, I just think she's sneaky. You know, I want to be friends with people who, the moment I get up from the table, I'm not wondering what they're saying about me. And I don't get that confidence in Bronwyn.

Or maybe Lisa or Meredith or Mary or Whitney or Angie or anyone on your cast. This is what you guys do best. Someone gets up from the table and you guys all talk shit. What are you talking about? And you do it too. And so do you. What are you doing right now? You're literally leading the charge and talking shit. But we get the good old fashioned... -"Uts." -"Uts."

Anyway, and Whitney's like... Well, I'll tell you what. I think that you two have got off to the real, freaking, wrong start. And then we hear... Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun And then we hear, and Meredith walks into a gallery and she's wearing a miniskirt and knee-high socks and she's just like, hello, I'm here. And she's doing that croquette-ish thing where she's like, hi, teenager in a gallery. Thank you very much. Sometimes Jimmy's her shoulder. Is this 1969 London or am I just mod for the wrong reason?

Now show me, do you have any large photographs of tigers in this gallery? Because that's what I'm here for. I'd really love to just stand in front of a tiger while I have my fight today if that's possible." I thought Mary and I had a solid friendship, but friends don't do what she did. They don't come and just start yelling at you and picking on you. They don't do that. So they pull you aside one-on-one. If you are screaming in their house, they pull you aside and they talk to you one on one and say, hey, you are screaming in my house and she didn't do that. I would have expected Mary to reach out to me,

but she didn't, so I said, I'm gonna be the bigger bird thing. And so she's like, yeah, you know, I'm not gonna have a childish standoff. I'm gonna have an adult standoff in an art gallery. -♪ CHUCKLES I know. A chic standoff. Yeah. So, we didn't see Mary at home. I'm not gonna act like a teenager. I'm gonna dress like a teenager and act like an adult. Something must be going on.

So, we then go to Mary's house, and she's trying to call for Robert. This is the first foreshadow that this is going to be a gut-wrenching episode by the end of it. And she's like, Robert, she's basically trying to say, I'm leaving. And he's just like not answering. And she's just saying how she really, she feels him and his energy is just so absent. And like like, you know, she's always thinking about what he's doing, why he's sleeping so late, you know? And, um, she's, you know, she's been trying to kind of ignore it

and hope this goes away, but she knows she has to have a conversation with him, um, and, uh, get to the bottom of it. So, then we go over, I thought the guy said, welcome to A Reveillant Galleries. I thought that was the best fucking said, welcome to A Revel in Galleries. I thought that was the best fucking name, A Revel in Galleries. But it's not irrelevant, it's relevant. Which is still funny. (*BOTH LAUGH*)

Welcome to the Gallery of Relevance. Relevant galleries. May I show you anything relevant? Tigers, they're so relevant right now. Would you like to see a tiger? Lady standing in front of the Statue of Liberty. No, she's not a four, and I just come to the country. Just a lady. Pretty relevant, wouldn't you say?

We'll see you there. It's very relevant. Do you have any paintings of Audrey Hepburn? Because that's very relevant to my life at the moment. I'd like to donate these bangs to your permanent collection. I'm sorry. Audrey Hepburn, because that's very relevant to my life at the moment, I'd like to donate these bangs to your permanent collection. I'm sorry, Andrew Hepburn's over, no longer relevant. Well, that's just insulting. And I think if you were a true art gallery,

you would have pulled me to the side instead of ridiculing me here in the front of the lobby. If you're going to be in these sets, please leave. Why are you leaving? Why are you leaving? Why are you leaving? If you leave, you'll never come back to relevant galleries. Well, I no longer... I no longer felt welcome.

Well, that's good, because you're no longer relevant. What? Who can't do that to me? So, um, ding! The toaster just went off. So relevant again. Welcome back, toaster. Welcome back. Well, I would like to say that I do feel like I'm a little bit more relevant than a piece of toast,

and I think it's rather insulting that you would put me below a crispy piece of bread. Guys, can we bring toasting back? Does anyone still have a toaster? I saw one in Home Goods, I was like, I'm getting a toaster again. I need one. Hold on, I'm getting a phone call from my toddler, Brooks. Oh. Hi, Brooksie. What's going on?

Hey, mother. I don't know if you heard. Toasting is like so in. Yes, I did hear, Brooksie. And I'm quite frankly, quite insulted by it. Goodbye. Hey, mom. I'm literally toasting something right now. So actually, she FaceTimes her son and her daughter, and they answer, and they're like, they're like posed, like they're in a record album, they're like on the record cover,

you know? And Brooks is like, why are you FaceTiming me? I'm practicing Hala. And she's like, wow, I'm kind of irritated, you guys. And they're both like, what? Chloe's like, what? What is it, Icon? What, mother? Oh my God, mother is mothering right now.

I know, right? Literal mother is literally mothering, literally mother. Mother, I just toasted this bread, so the fact that you called in the middle of it is like so mother of you. I love it. Icon. After how rude Mary was to me last week, I texted her and I got no response, and I'm warning her behavior is very unusual, not in her character.

And now I'm standing in a gallery where they're telling me that Aubrey Hepburn is now irrelevant, so... CHUCKLE She's going to be an hour late. Wow. It just makes me think, like, what you're saying is even more true about something's going on and her being, like, so out of character. Like, right, Chloe? Don't you think so, Chloe? Yeah. Like, something's probably, like, really... You know what, Mom? Don't you think so, Chloe? Yeah, like something's probably like really,

you know what, Mom? Who cares? Just keep slaying like the bitch that you are. Yeah, slay all day. Slay. Slay don't pray. Ding, ding, ding. Survey says mothering. Oh, my God. Is it winter? Because I feel like getting in a sleigh right now.

So they're pretty cute. And then I love that daughter son combo. I think they're so funny. I love them answering the phone posing like... I know. Hi. Hi, you've raised us, your son and your daughter. The fuck do you want?

They're literally like characters out of some movie. Like a movie where someone from like another part of the country comes to Los Angeles and is like, wow, they sure do things crazy in Los Angeles. And they go to like an LA party and they meet like a brother and sister. Hi. We're brother and sister. Why are you in a trench coat? and they go to like an LA party and they meet like a brother and sister. Hi, we're brother and sister. Hi. Right. Why are you in a trench coat?

They're in right now. They're really relevant right now. I heard it in the gallery. So relevant. Relevant. So Mary finally shows up. So do you think this, there had to be news already published about Robert Jude.

I think so. Literally everybody is like just having the feeling that something's going on with Mary. No, Mary is acting like Mary usually acts before this season. She's not really acting any different. Mary is just kind of back to regular Mary. And I think they have to know because they're like, well, how do we still start fights with Mary,

but also give ourselves an excuse for when the audience gets pissed that she's going through something, except to say, maybe she's going through something, we should give her some grace. There must be, because this cast, no, but no real housewife pays attention to anybody else or what they're going through.

So if all of them are, then yeah, they definitely know something. I'm sure if we cross-reference when the news about Robert Jr. and his pills came out versus like whenever this Indy race was, I'm sure people like the timeline will probably show that they did know about it because they all keep saying it in a way like no one in the history of this show has gotten into a fight with someone and then reflected, wow, that was crazy. Maybe they're going through something. No one even considers people's emotions.

I think that's what you were saying. Like, no one gives anyone the grace that like, wow, she was being such a fucking bitch, but maybe she's going through something. So I think that they did know and they were just trying to... Yeah, I think they were just trying to... A, like, I think they were just trying to, yeah, I think they were just trying to, A, like, I think they were just trying to build in like, like, okay, well, we can, we can pull it back.

We can show that we were sympathetic. Yeah. When so, um, Meredith is like, well, under the best circumstances, being an hour late is terribly impolite. Now given these circumstances, it's a very strong message you're sending me, but I'm in a relevant gallery. Let me shimmy.

So Mary shows up. She's like, okay, okay, they call this relevant. Not sure if I see it. And she's like, hello, Meredith. It's like, hi, Mary, how are you? She's like, I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Is everything okay?

I'm wondering if there's something else going on in your life right now. And Mary goes, in terms of, okay, that takes balls to walk in somewhere over an hour late. Someone's like, so are you okay? Why do you ask? Well, are you sure that nothing's wrong? How do you mean?

You're an hour late. What the fuck do you think I mean? I'm standing here in heels and knee socks like a fucking crazy person. Standing in front of this goddamn tiger for an hour. I've done six laps in this gallery. This God forsaken cheap ass gallery. So, uh...

I love when Meredith walked up to the young gallery worker or whatever, the gallery girl. And she's like, so is there anything specifically you're looking for? Well, I mean, I guess, I don't know. I'm waiting an hour for somebody, so not something. Oh, oh. And he's like, so not something. Oh, no.

He's like, okay. You want to make another laugh in your knee socks? You can do that. So Mary's like, well, I'm a little bothered, but I'm good. And Mary goes, while I was concerned after the other day, it seemed a little bit out of character. Like, she changed her voice like old Hollywood. I didn't understand what was happening the other day.

It was a lot of character. Just sort of like my voice all of a sudden. And I love that she's also doing this thing like, I can just sense that something's going on with Mary. So Mary, how are you? I'm bothered. So anyway, about the other day, I think that was your cue to say, why are you bothered?

I know. And so, yes, it's just, it seemed a little out of character and Mary's like, I did or you did? Well, I thought you did and I probably did as well. Well, why would you think that I did when I invited you to my house and I've seen you in many people's homes and I've never seen you walk out of anyone's home ever since I've known you.

Now that can't be true. I feel like Meredith is a walker outer. Does this really true? Is this really true that Meredith- Meredith is the disengager. No, it's absolutely not true. Maybe not walk out of the- But she's the disengager.

Well, yeah, she's walked away from a million things. I don't know if she technically walked out of their home. Actually, she's the disengager, but kind of her thing is that she starts to walk out, but then she comes back to the table. She comes back. And over again. Yeah, she comes back. She was a lap. She's a lap person. She makes laps. So she was, well, I no longer felt welcome in your home.

Mary's like, oh, really? I'm not going to stay where I don't feel welcome. Man, would you like to leave? I will stay as long as I want to. You back off, gallery girl. Kick that girl's ass. And I don't think you would either, Mary. And Mary's like, well, I don't think I would do that to you. To me, that's not friendship.

That's not a healthy friendship. Well, I don't think that it's a healthy friendship because you apparently have been harboring some hostility towards me for quite some time. And Mary's like, well, you have to, clearly. Okay, so what's your hostility? Tell her, I want to know. And so, Meredith's like, well, Angie was coming after me and you told me you'd always stand up for me and instead you jumped on the...

I don't jump on whatever it is that you just said, but what you did do is I'm sorry. I just that Starbucks. I jumped on the Starbucks. I don't understand. I do not appreciate you jumping on. I don't like that. I don't like that, Mary. Really hurt.

Did you say band-aids? Like, me jumping on band-aids? I love when Mary does choose this one word to say like she's underwater. I know. Jump on a bandwagon. Bandwagon. Listen, I don't jump on bandwagons

and I don't order things from blah, blah, blah. So then Mary is never dramatic. Mary is like, I don't jump on bandwagons. You know what you did? You severed our friendship. It's severed. Our friendship is armless. The arms are just on the floor.

They're swimming, but they're not attached to bodies. They're flopping around down there. Boxing, Helena, more like boxing my friendship. So she says, you're not always the victim. You portrayed that. It's always someone doing something to you. You know what? I came here and I still extended an olive branch of inviting you here in hopes that we could resolve it. And you showed up an hour late.

She's like, you know what, Maris? Have a good day. So she starts to leave. She just waves her off. She's like, oh, she just waves her off. And she leaves, and she's like, well, you used me for three years, got the memo. She's like, you know what, find life. Find life. A better one than the one you've got, Tiger Lady.

Because watching this whole thing with Meredith carefully poised in front of the tiger is so fucking funny. Just the visual of that with her being passive aggressive. It's Mary. I love this. This was so written for us, this whole thing. And then the thing in the aquarium with all the sharks swimming around the sharks. I took a picture. I took a picture.

I honestly, I took a picture of that. We'll get to it in one second. I mean, did you make, did you say the line about the, I got the memo, you use me three years, I got the memo. Well, of course I did. That's a great line. Slay mother, slay. Yeah. Boss ass bitch, my there.

I don't like being called them. You're a bitch. Take it. Take the compliment. Thank you. So, Mary is like, you know, Meredith not having any idea what I'm going through speaks volumes of where our friendship is. But, I mean, how's she supposed to know? You don't tell anybody, you know? But, yeah, she's hurt, so whatever.

This scene was hilarious though. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U S history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Pearlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from

them. And soon, investigators discover that Pearlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today. Okay. So then we go to the aquarium. Oh, it's a very nice scene. How exciting. Yeah. So Lisa and Henry show up and Lisa's like, Hi, Henry. Do you want to hold my hand? Are you too cold for me? Do you want to hold my hand? He's like, Okay, fine. So we see

like penguins and sharks and Henry's dancing and Lisa's like, oh my God, I love your little dance moves. He's like, I'm not dancing. I'm just caffeinated from all the soda you fed me this morning at Wendy's. Yass, I love the soda dances you're doing, Dun. Okay, Henry, to make up for your birthday, I just wanted you to feel really loved. So I thought we should invite some of your friends.

Oops, I just did it like five minutes ago though. So I forgot. I'm so sorry. No one came. No one came for Henry again. Ah! Henry, you're best friends with several sharks, right? Yeah, because they're all coming to your birthday.

It was more like you're going to theirs, but that's fine. They're your friends. Hey, Henry, hope you like stingrays. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. That's them. They're singing. Hey, Henry, listen to him singing. Henry very popular with stingrays. Why are you singing a song about lions? You guys are sharks.

Because sometimes we want to drink. Why are you singing a song about lions? You guys are sharks. Because sometimes we want to drink. We'm away. Oh, we my way. Oh, we my way. Oh, we my way. Okay.

So Angie comes with Electra. I am Greek. I am Greek. I am Greek. Angie comes in doing it with her own version. In Athens, in old time Athens, Zuu sleeps at night. Hi, I'm Greek at the aquarium.

Delta, delta, and delta, delta, and Kappa, Kappa night. That's all the Greek I know. Acropolis, Acropolis, Acropolis, Acropolis. Oh. What are we, are we weird allying it right now? So, yeah, they come. So Angie shows up with Electra. Yeah.

I always think Electra's so much older the way they talk about her. I feel like Electra's a teenager, but she's not. She's a little kid. No, she just, she's just over her mother the way a teenager would be. Yeah. She's sad enough. Angie has brought a giant, a giant stuffed snake for Henry with like a little red ribbon, like a little, a little accent. It's been like accessorized a little bit. And so she's like, here is a giant snake for you. I mean, you're probably too old for stuffies,

but enjoy. And Henry's like, you don't speak for me. This is my new favorite thing of all time. Henry loves the stuffed snake. Oh my God, it's adorable. He does, cause it's a snake, but it's also a boa. You know, I love that for Henry. Henry's just living his best little life down there in that zoo, aquarium.

You know what I love about that? It's a snake, but it's also a boa. But it's a boa, but you know what a boa is? But a boa's a snake. You see? It's cyclical. It's circular. Circular.

It's like a snake eating its own tail. Circlical. Circlical. So, Electra's like, I love snakes, Henry. They're so cute. You do? They terrify me like snakes are literally terrifying. Henry, are you afraid of snakes?

Have you heard of Medusa, famous Greek myth? And he's like, no, I'm not scared. So then Angie's like, I was a little surprised to get this invitation from Lisa, but you know, I've been a great friend to Lisa and I've been her confidant and I've taken her 100 calls a day. So I'm sure she's missing me. So then, um, I am Greek. So then let's see here. Um, we, some girl in the place is like, wow, to match what you brought to the aquarium, we have a red tail boa over here. His name is Krung. You guys want to touch the boa? And Lisa's like, no, I can't find

the boa. Oh my God. Can I wear that? Can I not touch? Can I not touch? Can I wear it? I'll wear it though. Can I wear it? Hold on one second. Listen, okay, you know what? I'm not comfortable with this boa being here. I am calling, I'm calling my people. We're going all the way with this one. Get this boa out being here. I am calling, I'm calling my people. We're going all the way with this one. Get this boa out of here. So the kids are touching. It's really cute. And Beth does this whole spiel. Beth has the boa wrapped around her waist. And she's like, a lot of people think that snake, by the way,

I just named her Beth. I don't know what her name is. She just seems like a Beth. She's like, a lot of people think snakes are slimy, but they're not. Red-tailed boas, you know what? They just wait around for their prey. And with it, once they get it, they will wrap around it and constrict it and swallow it whole. I'm like, Beth, I have some bad news for you. It's wrapped around you. The process has begun. Beth was then carted out to the hospital. Is anyone... I think I'm coming down with COVID. I can't really breathe very well, Beth. There's a boa wrapped around you. So the snake, it wraps around, but this one wouldn't do that.

Oh, can I touch? I don't know, I just, I was so uncomfortable because she's like, you know, boas basically, they just sit around and they just wait. And then when something they want comes, they just swallow it whole. I'm like... Is this bitch judging me? I'm just trying to watch a TV show. I feel so attacked. Like...

Just leave me alone. Some of us aren't hunters, okay? Take what I can get when I can get it. So you PS guys, so be it, okay? If it's DoorDash, fine. I'll take it. Just don't make me go outside. I think the boa hasn't made... The boa hasn't made. It just sits around. It finds something and it's like,

I'm going to kill you, but first, I'm going to give you the biggest hug you ever got. So, um... I used to sleep with the boa around my neck. You know that, right? Oh, God. Yes. Yeah, I used to have one. Right?

Yeah, Felicia. I loved her. Well, I think I killed her with a syringe on accident because she needed shots. Well, she would have killed her with a syringe on accident because she needed shots. Well, she would have killed you first. She probably would have, but she never did. And she slapped her on my neck plenty of times. She was so cute. But yeah, they do this thing where they like,

wrap her in your neck and they do squeeze. Like, I could kill you. Like, they kind of squeeze. It's because you feel it like ripple through their body, right? It's like a squeeze and it was like a scarf that squeeze. It's because you feel it like ripple through their body, right? It's like a squeeze. It was like a scarf that squeeze. It's kind of like a massage, I guess. A big, scary, really cold massage. Compression sock.

A compression sock that goes around your neck and also has a mind of its own. And you can decide it wants to kill you. Yeah. I loved her. God, RIP Felice. So let's see. So now they go to like this shark area, which is so funny.

They're looking at these sharks. They're like doing one of those like tubes where you like are in the water and the sharks are flying overhead and Lisa's like, Oh my God, their little faces are like, so cute. Oh my God. That shark is a good time shark. He can just tell. Look at it. It's showing its boobs to us.

Look at it, it's showing its boobs to us. Look at it. So, she's like, okay, you know what? I feel like we got off track, back time. And Angie's like, it's been a loss for me. I'm not going to lie about it. And then this giant, giant shark emerges on Angie's shoulder. I was like, are you guys really gonna have a reconciliation scene with this big shark just sitting here?

The shark is totally photobombing. The shark is doing, the shark is like, I've seen this on The Housewives. When two people start talking, we all gather around and get in the conversation. It's like, no shark, you are separated by glass. This is not a scene for you, shark. Come on, get out of here.

This is... And Lisa's like, um, you know, it's been a know, it's been a loss for me too. At my Bezos party, not Jeff, although I would if he wanted to, everything really went left. And you and Whitney, you being friends, it doesn't impact me and you, but I don't want you to choose sides, you know?

I just want you to be on my team. We are here because you don't trust me. Yeah mom. I'm like, I'm gonna talk to Angie about it. Even though I actually literally never spoke to you about it. I just got mad at you. And Angie's like, I didn't feel like you were a bad mom. I'm like, I'm gonna talk to Angie about it. Even though I actually literally never spoke to you about it. I just got mad at you.

And Angie's like, I didn't feel like you were a bad mom. I'm like, I'm gonna talk to Angie about it. Even though I actually literally never spoke to you about it. I'm like, I'm gonna talk to Angie about it, even though I actually literally never spoke to you about it. I just got mad at you. And Angie's like, I didn't feel like you were a bad mom. I thought you were like a bad dry piece of pita, but I never said bad mom. I said dry pita.

And then I am Greek. Well, you know what? It's just like, I'm really sensitive because like we are real friends kind of most of the time sometimes. And you know what, I don't like when anybody says something badly about you. And I just like, you know what, I feel like, hold on a minute. I'm feeling something.

God, don't let this happen to me. We're not in front of the shark. Ah! Ah! Ma'am, are you really going to weep in front of these sharks right now? Like, there's like a stingray going by in the sharks and you're gonna weep in front of them. You're in public, you're in a fun place. You're at the sort of place that Cameron from Southern Charm

takes her child, okay? What are you doing right now? You can have my back a little bit more. Lisa, I have had your back. And she's like, no, you're listening to Whitney. You're listening to Whitney on a lot of things. I am not. I promise you that I feel like I have tried so hard to prove to you that I am a good Greek friend. No, you don't have to prove that to me. I need you just to say, I hear you. I see that you're hurt. I recognize that you're next to a shark right now and I am

sorry. And that's all I needed from you. And how many times is Whitney going to lie about me? What are you going to be mad at Whitney to? I need you to be mad at Whitney. Okay, because she's made up stuff about my marriage, my business, she's accused me of doing things I didn't do. I was just like looking for you to say, hey, I've got you, that's fucking shitty. I can't believe she did that to you.

But anyway, you don't have to take sides. So then don't prove anything to me. Just only stick up for me constantly all the time, or I won't be friends with you." And he's like, oh, okay. Sandy's like, well, I just want to say, Lisa, I feel that I could have been there for you better, and I wasn't, and I am sorry for that.

I am your friend. And she's like, oh my God, thank you, Anjay. Thank you. Lisa, I want to wasn't and I am sorry for that. I am your friend. And this is like, oh my God, thank you, NJ. Thank you. Lisa, I want to say again, I am so sorry. Thank you, NJ. Thank you so. I love that Lisa will not ever even take a social cue

and say, I'm sorry back. And he tried to give her 10 opportunities and Lisa just would not do it. She wouldn't do it. She was just like, thank you, Edgy. Thank you so much. Oh, my God, look, Henry made a friend. It's around his neck. That is the stuffy I gave him.

Oh, my God. The stuffy is crawling away from Henry. Poor Henry. Even the stuffy hates Henry. Henry! Le... Lisa, I do love you, but I also need to be treated differently by you. Because I am super sensitive when it comes to friendships.

I want to share something with you that I learned how to do after watching Real Housewives of New York. This is called drama dumping. I think growing up, there were times when my mom was having her struggles and I probably didn't always feel safe. When something is chaotic. I get really quiet and I try to stay calm. And when you get elevated, instead of saying what I want to think, I shut down. Now this is all very moving and sad and everything. However, I would have loved a

montage of all the times Angie definitely did not shut down and get quiet when she was uncomfortable. I mean, it was like, you are a trampoline with eyes. Yes. Like she, Angie is the first person to do that. Like she, she stands up and she does that slow point. Like she's in a musical theater. She's like, now you be quiet. You be careful what you say.

I'm doing a slow point down and then up again. So I, I definitely, her backstory is very tragic and very sad, but, Angie, I think you need to look at the footage. You're kind of, you go at it. You definitely do not stay quiet. Well, it's interesting what she's saying, because she's basically comparing Lisa to a completely traumatic situation,

saying, like, my mom's addiction issues, assuming that's what it was, I mean, I think that's what she's talking about. But, yeah. Saying like, this... Being the child in a situation like that and having to stay calm while the adult in your life is so fucking chaotic that they're traumatizing everybody around them and you're the only person.

Like, I'm so traumatized that whenever I meet people like that now, I immediately jump back into calm mode. It's just such the ultimate diss. It's like... Not even that she didn't mean it as a diss. It's just funny that that's... Because it's so true. You know, I grew up with stuff like that too, and I tend to get like that in situations too, where I act like this most of the time.

But if I'm ever in a situation like that, you do jump back to childhood. But it's just interesting that it's Lisa, you know? That's the embodiment of that, because it's just so cartoonish, you know what I mean? And usually traumas aren't fun. Like, reliving traumas are not fun. I mean, this whole night I've been crying

reliving fucking traumas from this show that this shit brought up. And just watching this, and I'm like, but this is the most fun trauma ever. I love this show. Like, having that be the representation of your trauma, Lisa Barlow, I mean, I love that. I'm gonna transfer all my trauma onto Lisa Barlow.

I think you can, Ronnie. I think that, I think actually, I would not be surprised if, I would not be surprised if Angie's, um, uh, I think actually, I would not be surprised if, I would not be surprised if Angie's, like, if what she's saying is that she shuts down in these situations. Like, I'm not doubting her because, you know, I believe it. It's just funny because so much of what we've seen is her kind of like going at people so hard.

But part of me feels like if you go back to season three, when she first showed up as a friend of, feels like if you go back to season three, when she first showed up as a friend of and the way Jen was so terrible to her, and she just kind of like took it like she got like, Jen poured champagne on her head at one point as like a gag, and Angie just kind of had to take it. I feel like you see what she's talking about there. And part of me wonders if one of the reasons why Angie is always so clunky and hilarious and when she confronts people she's so over the, is that she's not used to doing it. And she's like, well, I'm on TV, I gotta do this.

But she's not used to it, because she's normally, she shuts down. So she's like trying to do this confrontation and it's coming out all herky-jerky and strange and over the top. Like it actually would make sense to me why Angie is the way she is. You know, actually, I just think she's,

from what I'm, from what I, and this is so weird getting so dime store pop psychology on this, but I think that she's, what she's saying is, you know, she's talking about when she's on the phone with Lisa for hundreds of hours and just dealing with a personality like Lisa, who's just sucking the life out of you. And she's just very calm and very patient with somebody like that and kind of letting them do whatever.

I think when we see her fight, what's so funny about it is that she's basically fearless. I mean, have we seen her cry, like, break down and cry? Or like, she's jumped in, like, pretty fearless, where she did not give a fuck, and she probably learned that from being raised by a crazy person who was always losing their mind. I don't mean literally crazy, I just mean a chaotic person.

Yeah, right, she could put up with Jen Shaw, she could put up with personalities like that. So I think that's probably kind of what she means. And she's just telling Lisa, like, listen, you're in chaos like my mother was. But the problem is, you have to, like, I have to stand. I have to talk back at some point. You're just going to have to fucking deal with it.

But Lisa's not really hearing that. She's just hearing the I'm sorry part. So she's just acting like she got free Frosties for life. Which she actually did. And would you really ever cry if you got free Frosties for life? I wouldn't. Maybe of joy. So Angie's like, you know what?

I just realized the Greek word for fish is tsadi. So I'm tsadi. You're a fish? No. Think about, listen to the word, Zadie. Oh my God, I can't believe I just got apologized to by a fish. Henry, I'm sorry that snake hates you now, but come over here and talk to this fish.

It said it's sorry to me. So now it's morning, it's camp day, and Mary's picking out pants for camp day. And now she's telling us that, you know, it's been a few days since she's talked to Robert Jr. He's never home and he's been locked in his room. And, you know, her she's like, my Robert used to come into my room every day and sit on my chair and talk to me and we'd have like a daily debrief. And just seems like those days are coming and going, and there's no Robert. And she says, I look at him, I see my baby,

and I just want my baby back. And I'm like, oh, this is so gutting. This is so gutting. It is, but I can't be the only person who said ribs. Same. I mean, I almost... I was like, I was gonna do it. I was like... I was like, mentally, I really want to say ribs. And I was like, Ronnie's going to, Ronnie's going to just give me that look like Ben, you went too far.

You went too far. But we all did watching it. Just how she said, cause it's like one of those where you're like, Oh my God, Mary, I really just want my baby back ribs. Oh damn it, honey. Why do you have to be like this? We all thought it. We, damn it, honey. Why do you have to be like this? We all thought it. We all thought it. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Okay, so we're at the campground and Heather and Whitney are driving, are arriving in their green Berets. And it's like, treat Beverly Hills. And Heather's like, it's about empowerment for girls. It's about expanding our expectations and not feeling sorry for yourself, not being

a victim and owning your authentic identity. Okay, hold on. I'm just going to write another book about being a victim of the Mormon church. Okay, we're back. Oh, I have to make a correction. Mostly 90% of what I say. Sorry, it's wrong. It's incorrect. But especially on this one, I was saying, it's interesting,

I think I said this with Kempire on crappy hour and then again, the recap. It's interesting that Heather is the one that was kicked out of the church and she's still the neediest for the church. She was not kicked out. She left the church. For some reason, I remember it as her being kicked out of the church and saying something like it's unfair because in a divorce, she was the one who got ostracized. So I think she just meant ostracized, not kicked out of the church, you know?

Like, people keep the man, but discard the woman or whatever. So I took that. So sorry, got it wrong. I even read the book. So, and also, guess what? I got breakfast Tiffany's wrong, and I've seen the movie. So that's how trustworthy this voice is. Okay, back to the show. What did you get wrong with breakfast and Tiffany's? Someone said, no, she didn't just disappear into thin air at the end, which I thought is what happened

at the end of... I remember breakfast at Tiffany's being like, it's fleeting and now she was like this whirlwind romance and now it's just over and she's gone. That's what I thought it was. But I mean, I haven't seen it since I was a kid. And someone was like this whirlwind romance and now it's just over and she's gone. That's what I thought it was. But I mean, I haven't seen this since I was a kid. And someone was like, Ronnie, that's not how that ends. They didn't tell me how it ended. You're like, when they blew up the Death Star,

I was like that, I just brought a tear to my eye for Audrey Hepburn. You're like, oh no, that's not, for the Tiffany's. When she flew over the moon in that bicycle. Girl. I'll tell you, what was surprising is when, when Audrey too actually ate her and I was like, you know what, she should've just ate a breakfast. Don't feed the plant.

Okay, so, um, now we're talking about a sleepaway camp, because everybody's coming, and then Bronwyn and Meredith and Lisa are traveling in their car. And Bronwyn was like, I've never been to camp. This is crazy girls. At least it's like, yeah, I want to sleep away camp one year. I love sleep away camp. And Lisa's like, yeah, it's a big thing, culture, because it because you make your friends

for life. And then that's how you're going to business with And Meredith is like hi Well, I'm that Lisa is going to sleep away camp at eight to decide who she's gonna do business with She's just been collecting people since sleep away camp so then in Angie and Mary's car Angie is like So what is the latest with you and Meredith? Mm-hmm. Well, yesterday I met up with her and she had the audacity to try to come for me as if I did something to her.

She goes, clearly you don't care about me. You're an hour late. And I wanted to say so badly, sweetheart, if you stop renting in Park City and start renting in Salt Lake, maybe I can get to where I'm going, but it took me an hour to get to her. Which, by the way, though, I think if you're an hour late,

like... You're trying to make sense of something Mary's saying. It's so ridiculous. For someone to even argue, like, I was an hour late because you live far, it's crazy. That's just crazy. I know. So Angie's like, oh, wow, after she even stormed out of your house,

she goes, yeah, God knows, I don't care what she thinks, what she's feeling. And Angie's like, she acted wow, after she even stormed out of your house, she goes, yeah, God knows, I don't care what she thinks, what she's feeling. And Angie's like, she acted all worked up, but she didn't forget to take her parting gift. And then we see Meredith like, I am waiting, how dare you? I will take this gift. This is a lovely notebook. I will be writing about bath bombs in it.

It is a classic Bravo move. I mean, we saw that in Miami last season where Alexia and Marisol were like, okay, well, you know what? Anna, Anna's gonna be at this brunch. I'm not gonna stay here for Anna. I'm not gonna die. I will not be here. Okay, here's my bag.

You can put my complimentary jeans and jewelry in here. Also, you know who's the worst at this? Teresa Giudice always does that. She'll be like, yeah, fuck you, fuck you, fuck all of you. All right, fuck you. And she takes all the bags. She doesn't just... She makes up all the gifts.

She did that this season. So then Angie is like, I mean, I thought she was going to take your Armani statue on the way out to... And Mary goes, where's she gonna put it, Angie? In the Airbnb? And Mary just keeps on hammering. Mary doesn't like that she's a renter. So then we go over to Bronwyn and Bronwyn's like,

you know, the last time I saw Mary was at her house and you left and Lisa's like, yeah, yeah, she kicked her out. Well, normally I wouldn't have ever even reached out to Mary, but I thought with my Shabbat dinner and the bat means for coming coming up I should reach out and see if you want to join the battle lion but I should be a big person and I don't want to be a part of something that's important I want her to don't want her to not be a part of something that's

important in my life so you know but she showed up an hour late and she says I severed her relationship oh my god how did you sever your relationship? Well, because I leave her house, I didn't leave anybody else's house. So she got very upset with that. And she's like, Oh, my God. But she hurt you. Ivan said, I said, Mary, you hurt her. You hurt her, Mary. Look at her. She's very, very hurt. She's probably going to be in knee socks the rest of the week.

I was in knee socks the rest of the week. Oh, my God. I knew it. I knew it! I knew it! And then she told me to stop playing the victim, and I said, I am not the victim. Hold on one second. PTSD from the time last year when we crashed into a snowbank. Hold on, hold on. BOTH LAUGH

So then Mary is saying that, uh, her friendship is just one-sided, and Meredith is self-absorbed just like Lisa. So let's say a prayer for her. I was like, ooh. I love when people say, I'm praying for you, because not only does it mean fuck you, but when a preacher says it, it's like a triple fuck you, because their job is literally to pray for you. I'm like, I'll be praying for you.

That's like someone at HomeGood who doesn't like you, being like, oh yeah, like, I'll be praying for you. That's like someone at Home Goods who doesn't like you being like, oh yeah, well, I'll be checking you out later. BOWEN LAUGHS It's basically Wendy's mom. You're in my prayers. So, Bronwyn is... Meanwhile, Bronwyn's being messy. She's like, so, when I got a text from Heather and Whitney together,

should that surprise you guys or no? And then, I was surprised I was even like, Whitney, go on, I just wanna throw that in there. So Bronwyn's basically saying like, you know. She doesn't, her Bronwyn would wait though. She just like tilts her head. I know they're cousins. She shakes her mom hair a little bit to the sides, her soccer mom hair, she's like, yeah.

Yeah, but like, Whitney, she has not spoken kindly of Heather. I'm like, Bronwyn, what are you doing? Okay, I am supporting Bronwyn. I think she's been a tremendous addition, but you can't flip on Whitney this quickly. You're stuck with her this season. You're on Team Whitney this season. You got to flip next season. It's too late.

You can't flip mid-season like this. It's too messy, Bronwyn, too messy. And,'t, you can't flip mid season like this. It's too messy. Brahman too messy. And um, it's like, well, it seems like shades that do face trying to brown as well. Maybe we're both a little bit too faced, but I'm not the one hosting a party. I've really started with these women on a foot of, I will call it as I see it. And I will tell you how I feel. And I don't deal with a lot of hypocrisy and bullshit behind people's backs. But now I'm hearing a lot of hypocrisy and bullshit behind people's backs.

That's what I'm hearing. I'm hearing a lot of a lot of a lot. Like, were you Joe Pesci all of a sudden? So everybody arrives, even Whitney and like, oh my God, T-Beverly has, I brought some very special ice cream. You guys, it's like special. Hey, have you ever had ice cream? Have you ever had special ice cream? This is ice cream, but it's special. It's made of, it's, it's made of a woman who showed us how power constructor wants to be

pureed her into ice cream after she passed. She said, don't let my body not be used. It's kind of gross. I'm cannibalistic. So then, so then. I invited that snake to Henry's party, it wouldn't come. So, um. Big news, big news, big news. There it is, that's the big news. And she was like.

Oh, is that it? Yeah, Miley arrived, she's back. She said something. Back in the mix. They And she's like, yeah, Miley arrived. She's back. She said something. They were like, oh my God, mainly high. Glad we invited mainly. So it is like, does anyone here know how to light a fire? I'm just curious. Samara is like, I went to camp, which I loved.

Was it fashion camp? Yes. Was it held at Neiman Marcus? Yes. Was I 35? Yes. Was it camp? No, but it was Neiman Marcus and it was fun. Let me do this. So she has one of those lighters with a long stick at the end, you know, and she just starts, she just points it out at like a log. It's just like click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, at a log that's just like... click, click, click, click, click. But she's shooting it. Well, I tried my best. He's pointing and clicking at it. Click, click, click, click.

Right on fire. This will light for other people, but not for me, not to be a victim about it. And so Heather comes over, she's like, come on, you have to build a teepee so that the air can block it. And then you have to put Kindle inside of it. Then you have to light it. Has this girl never lit a fire? Oh my God. She like turns into some weird Frankenstein, like a fire loving Frankenstein. She's like,

better fire. Good. I mean, who even lights the candles for Shabbat? I think there should be a Marin badge for lighting a fire and robbery. And then she does like a little shimmy of her shoulders. Whenever she like lands a funny joke in a confessional, she's always like, little, that's my Carol Burnett symbol to my toddler. Did a joke, honey. So then they start playing the most dramatic music. It's like when below deck sailing, when they start to sail, it's like,

dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Ba da da da da da da. Boom, boom, boom, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And a car comes and Mary gets out. Like, wow, it's Mary and Angie. Why are we acting like Leonardo DiCaprio is walking upside down right now? I know, and then Lisa goes,

what, you guys, Mara's here. And then Meredith turns her head, like she snaps her head around and goes, shwing! Like it was like going to commercial on Top Chef. Well, I guess our lame is the norm these days. So they're all saying hello and everything. And Heather talks about like the whistle and like,

guys, we're doing all these games today, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And if you find yourself in a predicament, if you that you need help getting out of blow your whistle and Mellie is like, That's right. Whatever your name is, it is a lot of drama. Now listen, I need to whistle at all times for the rest of my life. This is fabulous. So then Lisa's like, hi, Breton, I saw an IG. I saw Instagram. You're back with Jared. And she's like, and then Mellie's like,

yeah, he is in all our stores. He's trying to wow Brittany with Donnie. And then we see that there's like, Brittany got a trip to Vegas where she got to finally achieve her livestream, which is taking a picture with Donnie. And then we see that there's like Brittany got a trip to Vegas where she got to finally achieve her livestream, which is taking a picture with Donnie Osmond. It's so weird. He's like an aging wax figure, if that's such a thing.

It's like if wax figures just had to be still, but they also aged. Yeah, it's weird. It's like a wax figure that was too close to the heater. Yeah. Yeah, and the heater had hair on it figure that was too close to the heater. Yeah. Yeah. And the heater had hair on it, and it just fell onto the wax.

It's very weird. Very oddly placed hair. It was weird. It was weird seeing him. Glad he's still with us. You know, he's a national something. OK, so Lisa's like, yeah. So Lisa's like, he's literally like back.

It's like, here's Donnie. And you went, like, Donnie is so cute. If you were dating Donnie, he's literally like back. It's like, here's Donnie. You know what? Like, Donnie is so cute. If you were dating Donnie, I'd be so happy if you were dating Donnie. Donnie! And Rom's like, oh, she's not dating Donnie. She's just getting as close as she can to Donnie. Brittany's like, oh, my gosh, I am not a femme.

Or, have you ever seen a wolf cry to the blue cold moon? It's like, okay, congratulations. You're in Pocahontas in Japan once. So, which I still advise people to watch that video because it's hilarious. Some Britney's like, guys, Vegas was awesome. He said he really, really, really loves me. Well, actually, he said, hey, can you get me some more shrimp cocktail from the buffet? But I know that's his way of saying he loves me.

He wouldn't ask some stranger to do that. He only tells people he loves to do that. So I gave him all the shrimp I could find, a big pile of it, and some cocktail sauce on the side. We're basically getting married. And Mary is like, wait a minute, Donnie? She goes, no. Donnie's married. And she's like, oh, well, Jared and I are doing better than ever, everybody. Wait, hold on. I'm so sorry. Go back to what you were doing.

Okay, let's do this again. ["FRIENDLY WEEKEND"] Everybody, Jared and I are doing back, we're back together. It's official. He asked me to be his girlfriend over a shrimp cocktail. Well, I mean, I assumed it was him asking me because I did bring him a shrimp cocktail. We're married now, pretty much. I think.

I'm not sure. Don't ask him. But, uh, it's pretty serious. Might be pregnant. Wait, I'm sorry. That's a separate announcement. We'll talk about that later. Well, he did ask me to bring him a plate of prime rib. And, you know, Eve was made from Adam's ribs, so that a pretty good sign right there and prime, you know, prime numbers, those are special numbers. So I'm pretty sure we're getting married now.

So then the producer's like, so are you guys gonna get back together? Say, oh my gosh, Lori, why would you even ask that? Like no, I've got to move on. He's darling. But it's like a hamster wheel, a gorgeous, osmandy hamster wheel, and we just can't seem to stay broken up. Oh my god.

Oh my god, Brittany, your youthful love is just so entertaining. It's like so engrossing. Bless your heart. Hey, everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening.

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