Watch What Crappens - #2638 RHOSLC S5E11 Part Two: Pouts Honor

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

This is part 2!It’s a Troop Beverly Hills-themed parking lot party on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Bronwyn is stepping in it again. Meredith shakes her wig a lot, Mary loses it with the ladies, and Robert Jr finally opens up about what’s been going on.. Watch this recap as a video and get all of our bonus episodes over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Guess what happens when there's so much that happens She's like, oh my God, guys, listen, I don't even care what he was doing when we were broken up, okay? Because I was dating like 10 guys and they're like, whoa. And Lisa goes, I'm doing none of them right. She goes, well, yeah, because I date BYU style, which means you just kiss at the end of the date. Am I right, everybody? Ah-ha! Do not call me slutty. I'm gonna be really mad if anybody does.

Ah-ha. So Heather's like, oh yeah, she's doing all the soaking and the docking and then Heather explains, uh, soaking and she's doing all the soaking in the docking. And then Heather explains soaking and docking for those who have not heard about it. When she describes it as it's fourth of July, you know, you take your bun, you separate it and then they go and they place the dog in the bun. Okay. Soaking is penetration without motion, but you can't move.

Because if you do, while you move in the middle of the soak, it becomes sex, which is outlawed. This is crazy. So why were you talking about that this week? Was it because of this episode? I don't know, I talked about it. I talked about it somewhere. I think maybe I talked about it on a podcast I was on.

I definitely talked about it recently. You talked about it with me. I think it was on this... I think I talk about, yeah, did I talk about, was it you who I talked about? I don't know what definitely talked about it recently. You talked about it with me. I think it was on this... I think I talked about... Yeah. Did I talk about it? Was it you who I talked about? I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying to anyone. I probably told my parents, I was like, Mom, Dad, have you heard about soaking?

But, um... Yeah, but I erroneously, much like Brooks Marks himself, I thought soaking was what we later found out to be jump-humping, which is that you get into a soak position and then someone jumps on the bed to make it, make it move. But it's apparently just, it's just the, the mere act of insertion. So what is soaking into? What's the docking part? Does she get

to the docking? That is when you only have to use one cable to do it. Ducking over all the penises into one vagina and then that vagina plugs into one penis. Yeah. No, I think, I think that soaking and docking are the same thing. Oh, okay. It's like a, like a, a double, you soak the thing that's docking in you probably. Well, it's kind of like, yeah, maybe the docking, maybe like if you're the man,

you're soaking cause you're putting your dick in and you're just soaking in vagina. Whereas if you're the woman, you're the vagina is docking cause it's attaching onto something. I wonder if the docking is as dramatic as it is on Below Deck with like, Oh my God. All right. We're pulling it in. We're pulling it out. That is soaking. That is definitely soaking. All right. Get a little to in. We're pulling it out. That is soaking. That is definitely soaking. All right. Get a little to the left of that lip there. We're almost in. We are, we're going to die. We're all going to die. This penis is going to die. This is a $20 million penis. We're all going to die.

We made it. We're in. We're in. All right, everybody. We're docked. Let's just sit here and get soaked. Emma's on the penis. Well, that was insufferable. (*BOTH LAUGH*) Amazon the penis. Well, that was insufferable. I'm gonna have a cigarette spray. Is there smoke coming out of your vagina? You got time to poke, you got time to soak. All right? (*BOTH LAUGH*) Is there a deck hand that just got fired out of your vagina? It's walking away with a backpack.

(*BOTH LAUGH*) Why is there an ovary riding up a mountain on a donkey? Because I told it to get the fuck out of here, that's why. Why are there so many crates of produce going into your vagina? Oh, we're doing provisions. BLAIR LAUGHS Provisions on the penis. Okay, if you don't watch Flowdeck, you know what this makes sense.

BLAIR LAUGHS BLAIR LAUGHS So, um... Provisions on the penis. Okay, if you don't watch blow deck, you know what this makes sense. Then you should watch blow deck. So Heather explains, she tries to explain to the producer what it is. And she's like, well, I can't explain it. Only the good Lord can. But if you were to tell that to your religious leaders, they would say, was there thrusting? Was there pumping?

Was there an orgasm? And if you could say no, no, no, they would say, go with Godusting? Was there pumping? Was there an orgasm? And if you could say no, no, no, they would say, go with God, young lady, go with God. It's almost like Mary jumps in to Heather's talking head segment because she just tells everyone, I'm bored, can we do something? If we sit here much longer,

we just know that Heather's gonna be talking to the producers about something annoying. So they do their- Have you ever done it? I have not soaked. I'm very tired. I mean, this is basically how I have sex with what they're describing.

I just get it, you know, here's my job, doing the helicopter and getting it ready to go. Okay? That's the hard part for me. No pun intended. What you do with it is up to you. I just lie there. So, you dock it. You can start pressing buttons like it's a remote control. Maybe it'll turn the Apple TV channels. I don't know what it's

going to do, but I don't do anything. I'll tell you that much. So I've been a good Mormon this whole time. Yeah. Look at you go with God. So then Heather does a whole spiel about how our great, great, great grandfather brought potato sacks. It's like like it's not interesting. It's not funny. And it's also all fake. So whatever. They just had to pad out two minutes at a time. So now we have a potato sack race, which is fun and skewed and they're doing it and silly and this fun and games and one team wins, one team loses. And then they all settle down to eat because it's also kind of like a potluck. So Angie's like, by the way, I just want to make sure everyone tried my little Greek flag number.

And if you notice, there was an olive branch on it.'" And Mellie's like, "'Oh, oh, oh!' "'I know it's rosemary, but I couldn't find an olive branch, but thank you for pointing that out, Mellie.'" So, the fuck up, Mellie? Yeah. -♪ Hahahaha. -♪

Um, so Heather goes, "'Well, Brittany and I were talking about our biggest memories from girls camp. And so we were wondering if you guys could share your biggest memories from girls camp. And Brittany is like, oh, my favorite memory, not you, Brittany, you were just already talking about it. I know. She's like the second day before testimony, you go into the wilderness by yourself and you sing all the Sondheim songs you can remember. And Heather's like, the second day before testimony, you go into the wilderness by yourself and you sing all the Sondheim songs you can remember.

And Heather's like, wow, yeah. And then you come back with a man. They interrupted the story, but you know that Brittany's like, and then that's where I met my first camp counselor that I dated. Because I don't believe Brittany has any story having to do with her doing anything alone that doesn't involve not finding a man in it. I don't believe it.

So then Angie, Angie, I love Angie here. She's, this is such a shady question. She's like, so are you still a practicing Mormon or is that just your childhood? Angie who just went to this frickin' Sunday night Bible study thing is like, so are you still practicing because you live such an illicit lifestyle?

I think when you're leading the choir song in your living room and you're doing the choir conducting with your fingers and you're doing the like, kind of old lady in church voice where you're leading the choir song in your living room, and you're doing the choir conducting with your fingers, and you're doing the, like, kind of old lady in church voice where you're like, "'Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.'" When you slow down your vibrato that much to just sound as Jesus-y as possible, you're still practicing, Angie.

Yeah. So Angie's like, "'Does your bishop know that you drink? "'Cause it's not against our Greek religion to drink, and we take communion, by the way. So, I was super taken aback when you got upset at me for bringing a bottle of wine when we all know you're basically an alcoholic.'" And Brittany's like,

"'Well, I just thought it was odd, and I felt like you just did it for show, but I wasn't meaning to shame you. I just, in the moment, I just thought it's odd. I mean, why would she do that?' And by the way, Jared and I are back together again. Okay, go ahead. Do you have any more questions?

Well, I just thought it was weird that you like pointed out at a public event and then you thank me with a text saying how beautiful the wine was and it's just mixed messages. Do I offer you wine at my house? What do I do? And Mary just starts going, two-faced. Two-faced. Whole thing, two-faced. BOWEN LAUGHS

Well, I don't think it was meant to be shaming or critical. I just think she was trying to see how she felt, and it didn't feel good. Two-faced. That's two-faced. BOWEN LAUGHS I don't feel like it's two-faced. Oh, well, why don't we refer back to manners and etiquette then, okay?

Because just like Meredith, just like you, Meredith, walking out of my house, that was very rude. That was very rude and it was very offensive. And you ask, what about you asking people to leave? What about that, Mary? Brittany, everyone's gonna get into each other's fights now. I know, and Mary goes, I'm not talking to you, shut up.

And Mary's like, well, that's not manners. Well, you know what, I do know manners. I do know etiquette. And you walking out of my house, well, you asked me to leave, and I did not feel welcomed, and I was upset. And Mary's like, I didn't ask you to leave. I was talking to both of you, and I was just talking to you,

and Angie was screaming, and you were screaming, and I was telling both of you to be quiet, and if you can't didn't ask you to leave. I was talking to both of you and I was just talking to you and Angie was screaming and you were screaming and I was telling both of you to be quiet and if you can't be quiet, you can leave. You know, okay, leave. I mean, this, let's not forget. This is, I am totally on Mary's side about this. They were screaming at each other and Mary was trying to bring them together and they were ignoring her and she was trying to broker a peace and she got frustrated and she's like, if you're gonna, if you're not gonna listen to me, then you, then you can get the hell out of here.

Well, then bye. Then you can't get mad at me. Yeah. You gave me the option. Right. But like she wasn't, she wasn't just kicking them out. She was, she was basically saying like, like shut the fuck up or you're gonna have to get out of here. And then Meredith is like, wow.

She was corn me and belittle me and out of nowhere said, I should leave the house. And Meredith is like, well, she was corny and belittle me, and out of nowhere said, I should leave the house. And it's like, no, it was because you were acting, you were, she was trying to, she was trying to settle you guys down, and you were fully ignoring her, and she was the host. And so Mary's like,

and you don't find that rude? And Meredith is like, well, let me put on my little crown of brooksies. A bunch of flames going around. I can say that because I'm his mother. Um, and now I don't think it was rude. And he's like, you too have a history. And that was really wrong. Greeks have history and they do not walk out on each other. They murder each other and fling lightning bolts at each other. God, I love being Greek. I am Greek.

lightning bolts at each other. God, I love being Greek. I am Greek. But you also took the parting gift. Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't grab the Yadro on the way out. I promise. Like not the Yadro. I had to look that up. I had no idea what a Yadro was. So it's, it's actually spelled L L A D R O, but it's pronounced Yadro. And it's like little figurines like those little like little figurines, those like Chachki. I like the anti changes up for joke for each shot. I know, you know, it's like on a sitcom when they do different takes, you have to change the joke a little bit to make sure the audience still laughs.

She's a real Lisa Cadrow at that. So Meredith's like, well, I'm more happy to return the notebook if you don't want me to have it. I mean, I grabbed my stuff and it was there. I mean, it was a quite lovely notebook. So I took that. And she's like, if you don't want to address it and you think you're right, then we'll leave it at that.

And Whitney's like, Yeah, wait. Meredith is a grudge holder for sure. She's playing the fucking Lisa game. That's what's happening. Whitney trying to jump in and then... In, Whitney, in. playing the fucking Lisa game. That's what's happening. Whitney tried to jump in and then. Whitney in. Bow, bow, bow, bow.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Whitney, stop singing the what's happening theme song. You only had to say it, you don't have to sing it too. Don't lie. Heather, why don't you ask Bronwyn what she says about you? You lie so badly with me. And Bronwyn goes, wait a minute, what did I say about Heather? And Bronwyn's like, um... They were crabs in a bucket.

The way they are pulling each other into fights. Shaking her hair at you, she does. She's like, um... I was a little surprised you guys were doing an event together today. Yeah. Yeah. So now Whitney jumps just so you're paying attention because it happens so quickly. Whitney jumps in to take over the fight and then brings Lisa in. And then Lisa's like, uh-uh, if you're gonna fight with me, I'm bringing Bronwyn in. So now we're at a totally different fight out of nowhere.

Wait a minute. What does Whitney say about me, Bronwyn? Well, she thinks you won't have your back because you'd rather be friends with Lisa. Mm-hmm. And Whitney's like, well, I will tell you exactly what I said. I said, Trix are for kids, but they're also sometimes for adults.

I love Trix. Trix is my best friend and has a bar in Milwaukee. And I said, you're trying to stay good with Lisa when Angie and I had problems with her at the time, and that's causing a bit of strain in our relationship. And Heather's like, but that's her feelings. I don't think that's deeply offensive. I think she always felt that way. So, um, when he's basically like, Hey, you know, out of everyone, I gave Bronwyn a chance in this group and she's throwing, she just threw me under the bus. And if you throw me under the bus, we're going to back it up and run you over.

I'm like, yeah, but you're also the chief bus under thrower. Whitney. Yeah. She's just learning from you. But I mean, it just shows that Bronwyn fits right in. Cause I guess that's what they do, right? They hear one thing, then they go tattletale on each other. And then they, it does somewhat look messier with Bronwyn

cause at least everyone else has kind of a side that they choose. And she's just like betraying everybody. She's like, fuck it. I'll take all the, I'll take one person that really stood up for me last week and just completely throw her into the bus right now for fun. You know, I know. I think what actually kind of annoys me about it is that like the whole basis of her feud with Heather is that Bronwyn threw some light shade at Whitney and then Heather was like, I can't believe the shit that Bronwyn was saying about Whitney and

then you know Bronwyn's like no I mean it was just like light shade don't be mad at me and it became the whole thing of this and it was like oh my god Heather is turning this light shade about about Whitney into such a big thing and Heather's being like a monster about it and then once they finally settle it the first thing that Bronwyn does is throw shade at Whitney again. It's like, lady, why did you just do that? Yeah. So then, um, and she goes, Oh yeah, that is like when you said, can anyone really be friends with Lisa? You said that on that walk with us and she's like, that is not true. You two had told me stuff about Lisa. And I said, I don't know that version of Lisa.

And if you're going to talk to me like that, don't do it while I'm in my Dino from the Flintstones costume. Because it's very uncomfortable doing that on a hike. SIMON So Angie out of nowhere comes after Browyn. And her take is false. I guess is she trying to sort of be on Heather's side right now. I was so confused. And yet Bronwyn's like, no, I said, I don't know that version. And she's like, Oh, fuck me over. Did I say Lisa fucked me over? You know, you know what,

you should borrow Meredith's hearing aids, turn them up and hear me one more time Bronwyn. And Bronwyn's like, I don't need Meredith's hearing aids because I got two right here. Let's go. Wait a minute. That is very offensive. Making fun of my disability. We're making fun of impairments now. Wow. You know how hard it is when you have an impairment raising a toddler. So then even Heather cracks up, even Heather's like, I was dying. I was dying when Angie said... I died when she said, you need to get Meredith here. It was crazy.

So, um... Of course, Meredith is going to make it a march, a march on the Capitol about it. I love it. Anthony, bam! So, Bronwyn is like, this is what they said. They said, Lisa, you have come repeatedly for people and I will see. And I said, I don't think I will see.

And Lisa goes, yeah, you won't see that because you're lying right now. And Whitney's like, I am not. Don't call me a fucking liar. That's a lie, Whitney. Don't lie. And then Mary is now Mary's like, wait, I was the one who started this fight.

I'm coming back in. She was like, it's true. It's not true. It's true. It's not true. Now Lisa's just arguing Mary. She was yelling at Whitney one moment, and then Mary steps in, and now she's just yelling at Mary. Mary's just like a hoax. Mary's just so unpredictable.

I don't, they should have learned a long time ago not to even fight with Mary, because it never makes any sense. And Mary just comes out of nowhere, and she just berates you and then leaves. Like, she just... Literally, you cannot win a fight with Mary. She doesn't use any kind of logic. She just, like, sits there and, like, just...

Shit talks you silent, you know? And so, but they do it. You know, I can't believe... Lisa, I can believe, because we've seen Lisa go through this with Mary a million times But Meredith I thought Meredith was smarter than this. This is not a fight you want Yeah, it's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial I'm Lindsey Graham host of Wondery show American scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history presidential lies show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series,

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by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple podcasts. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge, or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing The Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're

obsessed with. Listen to the best idea yet on the wonder app or wherever you get your podcasts. So Lisa is like, Mary, you're not around me enough. Don't make judgment calls. I don't judge you because oh, you're just a game. That's what you are. I'm a game. You don't even know me. Yeah, you will. You talk behind people's backs all the time. You're the biggest person I think I've ever seen in my life. Oh, yeah, Mary, you know what?

You're the fakest person that I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. So guess, you know what? Take that. And whereas, like, everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie, like, oh, I have a Milan specialist. And then we see the flashback to Lisa being like, oh, my God, you guys, like, I have to talk specialist. And then we see the flashback to Lisa being like, oh my God, you guys, like I have to talk to my shopper in Milan because they sent me all this.

Lisa goes, oh, do you need me to call her? What's your name then, Lisa? Danny, her name is Danny. Oh yeah, okay. What store does she work in then? Oh my God, you're upset that I have the same Fendi jumpsuit and I got mine from Fendi and I didn't have to get it off the rock."

Mary's like, you wore my outfits. Then Bronwyn tells us, I think fake Fendi's jumpsuit is some... Did she say bitch eating crackers? I rewound it three times. Yeah. Bitch eating crackers? Yeah, don't you know that?

Is that slang that I just don't... No, I don't know about bitch eating crackers. Look it up, it's so funny. It's old, but it's funny. Bitch over there eating crackers. Well, Mary doesn't... Mary doesn't like Lisa right now, so she's like, I wore it first, I wore it best, and I wore it on TV, and you wore it to walk around my house,

which honestly is top tier shade, Mary. I'm here for it, even though it's... I actually invented that shade right there. But that's fine, it's still really good. It was a collaboration. Um, so then Lisa's like, you know what? Oh, because Mary's like, well, I don't know how anyone could be friends with you.

Meredith is crazy. And you said she slept with half a New York, and she's the biggest whore, and she's still your friend. And, uh, she's... Lisa's like, Mary, you know what? Formulate your opinions with your own brain. Like, don't use, like, other people's brain. Um, which then gets into Lisa saying,

oh, yeah, keep talking. You keep talking. No, you keep talking. You keep talking. No, you keep talking. You can't shut me up. Well, you keep talking. Because you know what? Keep talking so everyone can see that you're a fucking... Oh, dingbat. Yeah, I'm ready to keep dingbatting. No, you keep talking. You keep talking.

You keep talking. No, you can't. You keep talking. You keep talking. No, you don't talk to me. You don't talk to me. You don't talk to me. What do you want? Do you want talking or no talking? What do you guys want? So then Mary's like, I don't have time.

I don't have time for this. I don't have time for people starting fights with me. You started this. Mary literally started this. She's like, I don't have time for people starting fights at the... So she starts crying, basically, because she's got a lot going on. And when you're like, hey, I think we all need to chill for a second. Everyone take a deep breath and then speak clearly one at a time.

I'll start. You exploited my vagina. And Meredith's like, well, I think making fun of a line of any disability, whether it's my hearing or my knee socks, that's very wrong. It's very wrong. And I find it highly offensive, a period, period. I wasn't talking about your hearing while you said Meredith's hearing aid.

That's me. Is it possible you didn't hear me correctly? How dare you? Like, see, and he doesn't even apologize. She just goes, but she needs hearing aids. Everyone wants to be all over me all the time for everything that I say. This Bromwell, she says, I've been completely supportive of you. Well, there's listen, I am angry.

So I'm going to talk from the temple of my head at you. Okay. Everybody wants to be all over me for all things that I say all the time. And she's like, no, I have been supportive of you. Well, there's been a lot of discussion about whether I'm truthful. And this is such bullshit on the heels of what just happened. You started it too. What are you even talking about over there? And then Angie's like,

Oh my God, everybody shut the fuck up except Lisa and Mary. You should shut the fuck up too, because this had nothing to do with you, Bronwyn. And she goes, this is some bullshit. This is some absolute bullshit. And Angie, well, apparently Angie can talk and everyone else can shut the phone off. So I'm gonna stand up and walk away

if I'm allowed to as an impaired person, Angie. Angie's like, Bronwyn said that on the heels of that conversation, oh, you know what, Angie? Don't keep on yelling at me. I already shut my fucking mouth for you. She's like, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Meredith. Well, I'm not listening, so keep talking.

That's, see, and now all of a sudden, I can't make impairment jokes. BROCKENBURY LAUGHS And Bronwyn's like, say shut the fuck up one more time, and you will never see me again. Oh, God, what a threat. And Angie's like, Bronwyn, I've been nothing but nice to you, except for telling you to shut the fuck up.'"

So everybody gets up and Mary goes, "'Should never have left my house.'" Mary's like, "'Look what you've done.'" They never even get to another event. They just all stand up and are like, "'We're going home.'" So now... This is so going home. So now this is crazy. I love this show. It's so nuts. It's crazy. And then we now are going to go

to a Shabbat dinner. So it's a day later. We're at Meredith's house. People are showing up. It's like a whole new episode has begun and Meredith is like, well, after a day of camping, I now know why they call it roughing it. Hehehe. It was a very rough day, and I'm excited to have a smaller group of my friends over for Shabbat and have a lovely, peaceful dinner for once. Which is basically the entire cast, except for Mary and Whitney, right?

And Angie. Oh, and Angie, right. So, everybody starts arriving, Broad and... Broad, Broad. Bron, Wyn, and and Angie, right. So, everybody starts arriving, Broad and... Broad... Broad. Bronwyn and Todd arrive, and Bronwyn's like, well, we dressed for Shabbat, I Googled it, and I dressed up for Shabbat. Yeah, I Googled it, and I Googled,

what do a bunch of scarves look like on a coat rack? And then I married it. So... BROYNYN LAUGHS So Bronwyn introduces Britt um, Britt to Todd. And Brittney's like, she's like, Hi, I've heard almost nothing about you, but it was very lovely to meet you. And Bronwyn goes, Oh my God, my butthole is so clenched right now.

BOWEN LAUGHS Not mine. Mine's looser than a goose. BOWEN LAUGHS Am I talking out loud? I could buy and sell ten Donny Osmonds. Get out of my way, lady. So then, um... And then Heather goes up to Chloe,

and Heather's like, hi, Chloe. Chloe's like, hi. So, look over there, that's Bronwyn, and her husband, Alan. She keeps calling Todd Alan. And she goes, I don't know her. Chloe's so funny. She's like, I've never met her. So then it comes to drunk Seth talking to Jared Osmond.

And he's like, you know, Jews drink, and we're encouraged to have wine to celebrate life, you know? And the Mormons, they're shunned if they do that. And now that, that's a flamed business model, huh? Jared's like, yeah, but on the other hand, liberal tears, am I right? So Chloe is like, hey Heather, did you go on a mission and then go to BYU?

And Heather's like, no, I graduated BYU and then I went on a mission. So do you know what soaking is, Brooks? Brooks, get over here Oh, so do you know what like soaking is Brooks Brooks? Get over here Brooks. You know what soaking is? He's like, yeah, but I heard it's a myth. It's not a myth, but jump pumping is a myth. What's jump pumping? That's when you're talking or soaking and someone jumps on the bed so that there's motion

without you exerting any energy. Wait a minute, I thought that's what soaking was. Yeah, that's like toot soaking. I'm pretty sure that's soaking. No, soaking is like a dog in a bun. Chloe's like, oh my God, that sounds terrible. And they're just like, yeah, I've never seen nor have I participated in jump humping, but I definitely have soaked.

I've soaked. I did in a bolero jacket. Well, we have diamond shaped coffee ice cubes. So that's something. I know Mary just announcing this and Heather just entered and Heather just pushes past her is like, Hi, Bronwyn, you look gorgeous. And so she basically meets Todd for the first time. He's like, hi, how are you lady? You look like you're soaking wet right now. Only you knew what we're just talking about. Anyway, wow, firm grip, strong handshake.

I love a strong handshake. And Todd just like looks at the camera like, who is this crazy lady talking to me right now? So then Lisa and John come and they all sit down and Meredith gives a speech. She's like, well, thank you for all coming. Shabbat, Shalom, sunrise, sunset, if I were a rich man. I'm just so excited to have everyone in my home.

Tradition, for what I feel like is a very special Shabbat Yentish Shabbat dinner. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm embracing Judaism and musicals, and my Bat Mitzvah is getting closer than ever, which is a different musical. I don't think very Jewish, but still, it's a musical. So I'm going to light the candles right now,

because, you know, traditions are important and I would like to welcome my children to do the prayer with me and Chloe, Chloe and Brooks doing the prayer in their monotone over it voice. It's just, it's just the best B'ruch atah adonai Elohim, melach ha'alam, b'rei ha'ah gafen. Just like they're so like... Uh... Uh... It's just... But they're into it. The funny thing is they're actually into it,

but like they're, like, they do not... They are, they being into something and they being bored, it's the exact same voice. There's no code switching. You know what I mean? That's just them exact same voice. There's no code switching. All right, everyone. You know what I mean? That's just them at all times. It's so fucking funny.

And also something that made me like Brooks even more was he went to the oven and he'd made challah. He made that. He pulled it out. I mean, Brooks makes bread? He makes challah. That's crazy. It's wild.

That skinny little twink is like into making bread. I just love that. Well, no, because he's trying to like, he's like moving out of twinkdom into more like buff we-ho. So, he's clearly had to like take on some like carbs and stuff. So, Jared then drops a bomb. He's like, well, my family is part Jewish. I was like, what?

Jared Osmond's part Jewish? No. So he has a bunch of aunts and uncles that are Jewish. And then it turns out John Barlow is also partially Jewish because Lisa was playing around on answstree.com and found this out and she talks about like, yeah, John thought he was just going to find out about his roots. But then I found out all this information. I called this person and that person and that person. And I found out he's actually like third cousins with like Topol. And then John's like, yeah, it was like really traumatizing. And Brahman's like, wow, Lisa, this is like a part-time job for you. It's John, my child. You're just everywhere.

I was like, oh gosh, Brahman. It's just such an awkward thing to say. She's trying it. And she's like, no, that was Kuzmin. That was Kuzmin. Well, that's another musical. Thank you for the support, Lisa. Really.

Well, I've got something to say about Ancestry. Okay? It's interesting. When Bronwyn and I started dating, I went to the original Ancestry, the NSA, and I said, give me a background check on this lady. She laughed at all my PalmPilot jokes, and I'm suspicious of her. No one laughs at those. Look into her. Yeah, she was fine.

ANCESTRY.COM, or as I call them, the US fucking government. I made PalmPilot, bitch. Like, congrats, Todd. Jeez, and everyone's just like shocked into silence. Like, wow. And what does that have to do with ancestry again? And he's just folding his arms.

I'm like, yeah, I told these motherfuckers, I'm connected to the NSA. Yeah, and also like, why is the NSA using our government dollars to do background checks on Bronwood? I mean, I support it, because I think it's so campy, that I appreciate our government doing campy things. But like, you really probably should be doing other things, rather than taking requests from private citizens to do background checks. And Heather's like, I mean, you know,

oh, so then they start talking about the party, right? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Heather's like, full background check. That's not the thing of fairy tales that a girl dreams to hear about or to be announced to her friends. Maybe a cursory Google search. Sure. So, now they start, oh, Heather goes, well, I hope the BYU expulsion came up.

And he's like, oh, we came up. All right. So then, uh, Lisa's like, so Heather, what did you do today? She's like, well, I cried into my pillow after my camping failure yesterday. It was horrifying. And this is like, yeah, we really wrecked it. Cause we all decided to scream at each other at once. And Brahman's like, well, here's how I see it. Angie got really feisty with me because I was saying something that she didn't want the two of you to hear me say. Which by the way, I don't even remember.

I still don't know why Angie was mad, but like, whatever, I'll just go with it at this point. I don't remember. None of them had a reason to really be mad. I don't know. They just all kept jumping on each other. Yeah, it was just like a lazy Susan of anger, you know? It's just like everybody just taking something.

They're like, here we are, we're at work, let's fight about some shit in a circle, you know? So then, um... Yeah, Heather's like, well, I totally understand, but you know, it's normal and natural for friends to talk shit behind each other's backs, but why do you have to throw them under the bus? And Bronwyn's like, well, I think that there's a place

where you want to be a friend, and at some point, everybody talks about everybody. But you're in a good place with them, and it's funny and cheeky and sassy. But then when you're not, it's offensive and hurtful, right? I mean, I'm not mistake-free. I can be a real snarky-cut fitness, for sure, and talk about--"

Don't say that! Do not say that. Hey, I'm gonna call the NSA and do another background check on my wife to see if she was ever a sailor with that mouth. Geez. So Bronwyn is, she's like, well, at some point, you guys will realize whether you like it or not. You know, whatever I say, you may not like it, but it's never been untrue. And like, Bronwyn, I feel like Bronwyn's being really extra at this Shabbat. Like, no one else is... She's like... She's just like in a different, like, temperature

than the rest of the room. And they're like, -"Okay..." Right? -"Yeah, she's like, she's trying... She's still auditioning too hard. Like, she's coming in and she's trying to start a war at every episode. And it's like, you just spent the last episode sobbing that everybody's trying to start wars with you. And then everyone's being nice to you,

and now you're trying to restart wars with new people. Like, just chill, okay? Your job is secure. You're fine. You're doing fine. She's doing a great job. She's doing a great job all season. This was the first episode where I felt like she was actually a little, like, a a little off. So Meredith is like, at least it's like, by the way, Marit crossed the line yesterday. And I don't think that like, I don't like the way she's treating him. I'm ready. It's like, wow, everything

with Mary, I'm really upset. I mean, do you know how long I had to stare at that tiger photograph and pretend to like it. It was awkward. And the small talk with a girl behind the desk was terrible. So I don't know where things will end. And I don't know what to say. I stood by her and I supported her. And now I'm seeing a sign that I didn't really know. I'm like, did you not watch this TV show?

This is like the most obvious side of Mary you could find. But then everyone starts, so maybe something's going on with Mary. Maybe something is going on. And Brittany's like, oh, guys, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Jared just took a dinner roll, which I think means he's asked me to have his children. Thank you, Jared. Probably. The answer is probably. Oh, also, maybe we should give Mary some grace, because maybe something's going on with Mary. Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun. So then we get a very ham-handed entry into a serious scene about a child, because it's like serious music,

a church bell, children playing in the echoes, a scooter falling over in the street with the wheels still spinning. I was like, Jesus! Did somebody get kidnapped? But we know what this is going towards, because we've all seen previews and everything. So this is like a pretty gut-wrenching scene. Probably don't really have to get into it too granularly, but basically, Mary goes up to have this,

finally have this conversation with Robert and you know, you're kind of expecting him to say the same thing like, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. But he just kind of comes out with it. He's like, yeah, I'm doing Xanax and I take an Adderall to deal with the Xanax and then I do Xanax with cocaine and I do it with Molly and he's been doing does it with like he's taking Oxy. I mean, it's like, he is, you know, he's gone down a path. And Mary, like, her heart is breaking hearing all this and really being confronted with this. And it is, it is gut wrenching to watch.

Just the whole setup was bizarre. First of all, he seemed kind of lucid, which was odd, because he seemed not so... And I mean, as the scene went on, his eyes were still kind of opening and closing really slowly and stuff. But it was just an odd scene. The whole setup was weird. It was like, okay, we're just gonna have this talk.

And she's like, you're gonna tell me. And she just like sat there and just waited and waited. And then finally he did. And he just kept, I mean, once he opened up, it was like he wasn't even really nervous. He was just like, okay. And then he told a little bit and she's like, okay. And then he just kept, I mean, everything he said

got worse and worse, you know, as he went. And then she just started sobbing and basically saying, like, you know, you're gonna die. She's like, you're gonna die. You know, do you even see that this is a problem? And he just kind of stared at her like, no. And then he finally said, you know, I've wanted to die. And I feel like a stain, which is just...

Yeah, it was... Oh, my God. That was like a dagger. And he at one point also said that he felt like life was like unseasoned chicken and getting high was like, as a way of adding seasoning, which I was like... It was pretty profound. But also very, very sad.

Well, that's the biggest part of drug addiction. And you know what, that's the hardest thing coming off, coming out of addiction that people really don't understand. Like, sometimes you want to make all these really deep statements about it. But a lot of times it is like life is boring, and life is painful, and life is boring. And when you're trying to sober up, you're like, but this is boring. And that's the hardest thing is that it is boring. And part of it is like learning to deal with it and doing things that aren't getting fucked up.

That is one of the like basic things. And it's painful listening to his pain, but also mixing with that like realization that life is just kind of lame sometimes. You know what I mean? Like it's not always fun. And he says that he wanted to die. And he...

And she was like, do you realize what that would do to me? And he's like... And he says, you're the only reason why I didn't kill myself, which is just like... But also, I don't know, I feel like in some way that... That's like maybe slightly reassuring. Like, I'm still... Like, he's still in it for me, you know, a little bit.

I'm still getting through to him on some level. And she's basically like, you know, I love you more than anything in this world, you know? Like, you know, you're my friend, you're my son, you're my gift God gave me to you. You're the only thing that could ever make me happy. And before you, I was never really happy, but then you came in and you were so real and you were just like everything I hoped for in a person. It was like really such a touching

like mother to a son moment, like a mother trying to reach out and save her son. But she's also like, I'm not going to judge you, but like, I'm not going to support this. And like, you're going to have to help yourself, you know, and I'm going to support you to help yourself, but I can only do so much." And you know, God, I really hope that she is able to make an impact on him and like, you know, get him the help that he needs because it's tragic. And she's really, I think, actually fortunate that she was kind of able to catch him before it was too late, just in terms of anything. And, you know, it's really made me empathetic to so many parents that deal with this with their children. And it's just a, it's a terrible situation to be in.

Yep. Yeah, and it's so widespread, you know, it's really everywhere. It's crazy. And a lot of stuff, you know, we see on the streets, um, and people like trying to figure out what is going on. And like, you have to be so like... You really can't talk about anything real. You know what I mean? Because it seems like it's blaming, or it's shaming, or like, addiction is a disease. And it is. I'm not saying that it's not. But it's, it's bad. I mean, all you have to do

is look around the cities to see. And I'm not saying it's not happening in small towns. I'm just saying it's so evident in big cities where you see tent cities everywhere. You see basically a hellscape out there. It's not good. It's really, really widespread. It's getting worse and worse.

And I think it's pretty brave to put it on TV so boldly like this, because we've never seen this. We've never seen like this. Cause we don't, we've never seen this. We've never seen this. We've seen addiction, but we've never seen it talked about like this where someone's just like, here's what I do. Like listening what they do. I wanted to die. I wanted, you know, it's pretty crazy to see it put on TV

like this and it's pretty, it's, it's eye-opening. I mean, I'm grateful that this shit's on TV, you know? And people stop being such fucking wusses about it and talk about it with your family and talk about it with your friends That you see this shit happening with because not talking about it doesn't help them It's not helping. Yeah, I think I think you know, they need to be talking to about it Yeah, I'm thinking like I think about Lori Waring and her son who recently passed actually But like she definitely dealt with it with him as well I'm thinking like I think about Lori Waring and her son who recently passed actually But like she definitely dealt with it with him as well

But I don't feel like i've seen I don't seem to remember On the real housewives the scene where like the kid was really kind of this up front with like this is what i'm doing This is what I felt. This is what I almost did to myself. This is where i'm at right now and it's like It's just it's it was very raw. It was, it was pretty, it was pretty intense. I'm not sure Mary even was expecting the conversation to go in that direction, but I'm glad she did. I'm really glad that she, that she stepped in and I'm also glad that she said, you know what, like you live a blessed life and there are people who don't get to wake up and you get to wake up, you know, and you get to wake up, you know,

and you have to remember that, you know. Well, addiction doesn't give a fuck how much money you have. I would like to say. Or how blessed you are, you know. Everyone, when you see a lot of addicts, when it's the most obvious, it's when you see it on the street

or when it's trying to wash your windshield or something like that. And it's easy to think, oh, it's just for people that aren't like me. No, those were people like you a lot of the times. They were people like you, and they're currently not. But, you know, it's easy to think it's over there, it's on that side, but it happens to everybody. I mean, probably all of us have this in our family

in some way, in some strain. We probably all have it in our friend or our family group. It's crazy. It's crazy. That's crazy. It's crazy to see it's depressing to end a fucking thing like this. Not that it's about me, but like it's an end of a Housewives episode on the holiday with this depressing shit. But it is important, you know, and it was really well done. I really appreciated it and how they handled it.

And it was actually, it ended on an uplifting note because, you know, he's, he actually says, I just barely started being happy again, which is sort of an optimistic note, you know, it's so hard addiction. Didn't that kind of allude to him being on drugs though? I took that as him saying like, I'm just recently happy again,

cause he's been using so heavily. I thought he was, I took that as him saying, I'm feeling happy because I'm just recently happy again, because he's been using so heavily. I thought he was... I took that as him saying, I'm feeling happy because I'm using. Because he was saying, when I'm not using, life is boring, but now I'm finally happy. It's almost... Because she keeps saying, are you going to stop this? Do you see this as a problem? And he doesn't say yes. He just stares at her.

And then so when she says, you need to be happy, and he's saying, like, yeah, but I just started being happy again. It's like, scary. I didn't find that optimistic at all. I thought, oh, well, shit, because he's basically saying, but this is me being happy. Well, that wasn't the line that, but what was mainly she says that they just started barely feeling happy again. And she's just like, listen, recognize it, own it, change it, because you can. And they hug. So, like, the optimistic part of it was that, like, they were able to start having the conversation, and they did sort of have

a big breakthrough moment. And, like, you know, she said that she was going to... You know, it was like a nice... It ultimately wound up being a really nice mother-son moment. You know, we don't know how much of it's gonna stick, how much of it's really gonna help. But it leaves on a note of, like, she finally was able to connect with her son, who she's been disconnected from this entire time.

And we just have to hope that that connection continues onwards. Yeah, it's crazy. So we'll see. It's crazy stuff. But it's very, like, a very powerful way to end. But, you know, the episode, you know, it's about family, and that's what Thanksgiving sometimes can be about.

And so, you know, in its own sad way, it was appropriate for the holidays. And anyway, Salt Lake City was like, we just showed New York who can do the dramatic thing, right? So anyway, hope everyone has a wonderful... I don't know, I'm watching watching that one next so wish me luck over here cheese and crackers yeah have fun with that so um uh everyone hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend and we will catch you next week with more shows bye everyone bye watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain Ain't no thing like Alice in King.

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