Watch What Crappens - #2639 RHOP 0909: Thriving and Diving

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

The Real Housewives of Potomac features a building scaling Ashley and an activated Mia. Also, Stacey learns that men are kinda liars at all times. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. You can now gift Patreon to friends and family. And is there a better gift than these faces? Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comhttps://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens/giftSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens! Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! A podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yield Broughs! I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hi! Whatcha doing, Ben?

Oh, I'm just hanging out, talking with you. What's going on with you? If Ben seems pastier than normal, it's because he's in the glorious London and he's just trying to fit in. I know. I put I'm in a currently very pasty room. And yes, I'm in London right now, which is I did not think I would be back in London so quickly after our little jaunt here over the summer, but I am here this entire week, which is very fun. And the good people at William Morris Endeavor have lent me a conference room that I can record in. So very excited to be here. I love it. You're in the full on mothership. Well, I guess it's not the mothership. It's the anti-ship because the mothership would be in New York for us, but you're in the anti-ship. The distance over the pond anti.

The queen mothership, if you will. But yeah, I ate a sausage roll today, Ronnie, that was so buttery. I mean, it was wild. I like, it was like I dabbled in some British food today and I learned my lesson that it's very dangerous to do so because that shit is that is some buttery ass ship. It was so so good. Yeah, it's a food group over there. Butter. Yeah, it really

is. Butters. Actually, I don't need another I saw that many fruits, butters, breads. Love it. jellies, fats, jellies. Yes. I'm okay, everybody. Well, welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Potomac Day, but before we get going, we've just announced our two-a-dates. We're so excited. Our mounting hysteria tour for 2025 starts next month, like really soon. We wanted to get these up for Christmas present buying, so go, do it. Go forth and buy.

You can also gift Patreon memberships now. We've simplified Patreon, that's a lot easier now. Go check that out. But we hope to see you. You can find all of our dates at watchwhatcrappens.com and we'll probably go over a full list of them on one of our other recaps this week. But there's a presale going on right now

for Patreon members. And the full sale is like tomorrow, right Ben? The presale is tomorrow, December 3rd. And then the public on sale is on December 4th. If you want to get in on the presale, there is a code on our Patreon. It's for our Patreon supporters. They get access to our pre-show codes. They get first access to all the tickets to all the shows. The links will be up tomorrow for these places for the pre-show. And again, those will all be on the website. Also, I made an error on our poster. I was so excited. I made this whole poster. And

then I put down for some reason that our Dallas show is on January 25th. It is not happening until May. My apologies. Sorry for that. I have adjusted it and a new poster will be going out. But of course, once something goes up on Instagram, it's there like permanently. So apologies if you see that.

But we're really excited and importantly, an important date to flag for people is February 1st. That is when the Golden Crappies are back and we are really looking forward to that. That's going to be back in New York City this year and it's going to be a great show and of course that means we now have to get into Golden Crappies mode, start thinking about nominations and favorite moments, etc. etc. etc. So there will be ballots open for that in the new year. Yeah. So, and then obviously crappy hours tonight at a special time at 6 PM Eastern, 3 PM Pacific due to Ben's cheerio-ness. Okay.

Yes. Thank you for accommodating me, everyone. Love it. Listen, I love an early day. I'm an old, I'm an old bitch now. Also another announcement, go see Wicked. I loved it. It was fucking amazing.

Okay. So let's get on with Real Housewives of Potomac Meditation Nation. I don't know, you know, look, I've been holding space for Wicked because you know, that whole meme about people on the internet have been holding space for the lyrics of Defying Gravity and then Elphaba being like, I hadn't heard it. I hadn't heard that.

And then Ariana like massaging her very long, fingernail finger has been going all over. I've been holding space for the lyrics of Ashley Darby's. I saw Dustin Cohn on Twitter said, I'm holding space for Ashley Darby's lyrics. Put my love and my carry on. So thank you, Dustin, because I've now been carrying, I've been now holding space for those lyrics as well.

I can't get that out of my head. I put my lows in my carry on. Love you, Ashley Darby. Fucking neckcase. That's good. I like that. I hope she's not on Spirit Airlines because then she'll have to actually pay money for her lows.

And who wants to do that? So here we go. We return to Wendy's second birthday party and the ladies are discussing Mia's children's fathers. Dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun. And Mia's like, well, I have been married before. And Kay is like, yeah. And St Stacy's like, oh, you have? I'm so sorry, I just didn't know. And then we see flashbacks of Mia in a previous season saying, I have three amazing children, two of them are by my current husband,

and my oldest is from a previous marriage. So I had totally forgotten that she actually does have fathers. And so that's also kind of funny. Bravo is so dirty to its cast members because for a whole week we're like, look at Mia calling, like now she's saying that Ink is a father, and oh my god, this is scandalous, like she can't get it together, and it's like,

oh yeah, there is another father that we actually knew about all this time. Right, but Mia was saying that. Mia was saying Ink is a father. I mean, she literally said, I think Ink is the father that we actually knew about all this time. Right, but Mia was saying that. Mia was saying, Inc. is a father. I mean, she literally said, I think Inc. is the father of our children. I think she was saying that, but now that they're all mortified, she's like, oh, but I do have another father too. She's just got that she used to whip out whenever she needs it.

But I think she was saying, well, the fathers of my children should get along, meaning Inc. and Gordon. Don't you? I mean, I think that is what she was saying. But we've like this is one of the few times where she actually had a logical answer, you know, where I thought she was gonna just say some, I thought we were gonna come back and she was gonna say, well, we don't know who the father is. So I just call both of them the father. I thought it'd be like a typical Mia thing. And I'm just, you know, I just feel like Bravo,

Bravo kind of like, it was one of those things where you come back after a week and it's like, oh, oh, there's a very like normal explanation for this cliffhanger. Yeah. And they're like, well, he wasn't there. Just I was like, but he wasn't there. Why are you talking about him?

And she's like, well, he does also hang out with Gordon and Ying, the other father of my, whoops. And Karen's like, Well, I don't know why we're attacking Mia right now. Why are we doing this? I'm the one who attacks me. Because I love that Karen kind of starts it. And then she's like, Why? Why are we attacking Mia? Wow. And Stacy's like, Nobody's attacking her. Is anyone attacking her? I can't believe someone would be attacking Mia right now. So then we see the,

because Wendy's asking what's going on, because she's joined, and they were seeing this video that Mia posted on social of Ink Gordon and the whole family hanging by the pool. And Karen's like, well, what's the problem? Is it okay if we don't have a picture together? Is it? Is it okay?

Is that against the law? And Jacqueline's like, can I speak? I was there. Oh God, Jacqueline. Girl, no one cares, Jacqueline. Who cares? Number one sidekick speaking here. I don't want to be a sidekick,

but if I were number one, first in line. Anyway, thank you. So Gordon is he's okay with it for like five minutes with Ink and then like the other 20 minutes He's like miserable. So saying he doesn't want he doesn't want aim to be there. Like he actually like wants ink to be gone So what is like? Oh really when you get dumped by your wife And then she keeps bringing her boyfriend around and you don't want to hang out with him. So weird After telling you that he probably fathered one of your children and she's been fucking him the whole time

That is so weird that you wouldn't want to hang out. You must, you should probably get him in a straight jacket immediately. Yeah, although to be fair, Gordon did voluntarily move into the same building with Mia and Inc. So some of this is on him. Well, he's got to take care of the kids too. There is kids.

Yeah, well. Why would you have to drive from across town just because your ex-wife's an asshole? Well, you know, I'm just saying. So Wendy is like, well, what Jaclyn is basically saying is, you know, like for lack of a better word, you're putting up a facade. And so Gisele's like, yes, when we were all talking at GNA, you said that ink in front of all the kids and ink in front of Gordon needs to fall back a little bit.

I mean, it's like, well, just because you guys said that doesn't mean I'm going to do it in my household. You can make recommendations and give your opinions. But at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of bipolar. And I call the mania shots. I call mania shots in this house. I love Mia saying you can make recommendations. Like this is not a draft of a document that you guys are like, like she's

like, Hi, I have given this document about Gordon and income for review. Would anyone like to redline it before we mark it up before I submit it to the process? I mean, it's like you sat everyone down was like, guys, I have to talk to you about it. And now you're like, oh, well, thanks for your input. I don, it's like you sat everyone down was like, guys, I have to talk to you about it. And now you're like, oh, well, thanks for your input. I don't really need it. Yeah. Well, yeah. And she started this whole thing with her whole guys, Gordon's in mania. I can't be around

Gordon. We're all terrified. And then just like five minutes later shots by the pool, you know, with the kids Gordon. Yeah. So Mia is getting pissed off that Gisele's judging her at a birthday celebration at the 18th birthday celebration of the week. How dare she? This is sacred. This is Wendy's birthday. It only goes on for six months.

I know. And so she's like, she's like, I just think it's really interesting that we're at a birthday celebration. And of course, Gisele has to make it about critiquing and nitpicking. I'm like, you literally did that at Karen's birthday, at Wendy's birthday weekend, and also like every single one of Karen's birthdays,

you also criticize the nitpick, but now all of a sudden Giselle is the one who's acting out of pocket. Yeah, and Karen is like, well, I think basically right now, Mia was really trying to be glue, the whole thing's the other. And like, you know, you can be glue, but then also, you know, make it work. But then have pieces of happiness. So we know it's not feasible. What is she talking about over

there? And when he's like, Hey, ladies, I'm getting a citation from the governor of Maryland. And everyone's like, what a citation? Isn't that a ticket? I thought the citation getter was Karen. We're not allowed to say the C word around Karen. No, I don't like four letter words. No, I mean, citation. Oh, how could you say that? So those cut 50 C citations, Karen. So yeah, the governor is going to give Wendy

as some sort of like honorary something another for turning 40 in Maryland, which is very exciting. That's amazing. In a town with so many laws being made that they're like, you know what? Wendy's turning 40 guys. Let's pass something immediately. Have you ever seen the mayor?

I mean, not the mayor, I'm speaking like Stacy. Have you seen the governor of Maryland? He's actually like, he's kind of hot. I'm like, are you allowed to be kind of hot and a governor at the same time? I don't think so. I'm gonna look him up right now, let me see. Wes Moore, Democratic Party since 2023. Oh,

he's a noob. Let's check him out. He's pretty cute. Yeah, he's pretty cute. I'll tell you what else he is. Extremely busy because his ass didn't show up. I mean, he's new. How many things are on his list? He's like, you know what, send someone else to give the citation. That'd be great. I'm very busy. Could you please send them on a boat that looks like a Porsche? I know he was driving the boat. He's like I did my part. So yeah, so so anyway, so Giselle is like, wow, she's getting a proclamation. So then Jacqueline's like, Jacqueline's like, Mia, are you okay?

She's like, no, like, fuck you. Like, okay, because you never have my back. And I'm shocked that this did not turn into a feud that was going to last for five episodes, because they were friendly by the end of the episode. But you know what, the moment that Jacqueline stands up to Mia, it's always like a shitstorm. And she had her back. I mean, what's a woman supposed to do? So Karen's like,

oh, can I have the citations to myself for now? Just can I have something? Which is funny. Like you're even trying to upstage my citation. I still have the most citations. I still have the most. So now we go to Wendy's citation ceremony at the party. And April Ryan, senior White House correspondent, which is pretty good.

That's pretty good to get, even if they didn't send the governor. And so she's like, the mayor, the governor couldn't be here, but we're all friends of the governor. So that counts. So in recognition of your life's extraordinary journey. And yes, I do include the one year of the candle. And yes, I do include the one year of the candle. And yes, I do include the YouTube channel. And yes, I do include the concept of having a restaurant with Peter Thomas. Yes, I do include the 97 birthdays that you've had this year. That's quite a feat.

It's quite a feat. So then Wendy, then we see also the sisters, Eddie's sisters are sitting at a table. So Wendy talks about like how, you know, Eddie and his family, they've all been working to be better with each other, but they haven't all been together for 13 years. So this is like, Wendy's just saying, she just wants peace.

She just wants peace. So this is like what she's reflecting on as she receives this citation slash proclamation from the governor of Maryland. So then Ashley and Stacey, the speech is going on, you know, I think they're at like the happy and nest portion of the congratulations of the citation, like congratulations on your beautiful breasts. And Ashley and Stacey are just standing up kind of in the middle of the party talking at full voice

about how they're both divorcing idiots. I'm like, well, I guess we have our mediations this week. Yeah, what about your mediation? I can't wait. I'm really excited to see what had happened. And people are trying to, no one's even really shushing them. But the people are on microphone and these two aren't calming down at all. Yeah, and Ashley is actually, you know, it's actually kind of funny because Ashley knows that if she talks too much more during this presentation, she's gonna get clocked by Wendy.

So she basically tells Stacey to shut up. She's like, I just wanna hear this speech real quickly. Can you just be quiet for a second? Stacey's like, oh, I'm so sorry. Apologies. Didn't realize we were on air. So Stacy's like, Well, I expect my husband to be fair. I mean, he's very successful. He comes from a very well respected family in Germany. I don't. I need you to go further. What

are they respected for? What Hansa's are they? What have they... And yeah, I'm not sure any of that is going to matter in divorce, to be honest. Yeah, well-respected families in every country have nasty divorces. I mean, have you seen the royal family when they have a divorce? It didn't go so well. Yeah. Am I allowed to say that here? So then? I know I'm like, I feel like I just broke the law. You'll find out I ain't there. I say whatever I want. They can't get me. So they're passing out cake and everything and Ash is basically goes up to the cell

and it's like, oh my god, Stacey is really clueless. Gisele's like, what did she say? Yeah. Well, she's going into mediation on Monday and like both of you have given me like so much great advice. And basically, she's basically saying like, you know, Go lecture her because I don't have the gravitas to do it and I'm exhausted. You do it. And so, because, you know, Gisele's doing this whole like, I'm nice this season. And she's like, Hi, we're still doing a show. Could you go make her feel uncomfortable? Thanks. That would be great. She's already pissed at me. So, or she's already been pissed at me once this season. And then Wendy breaks in, you know how most people like it's your birthday and you're like, Oh, stop everybody. Like when

they come out with a cake, Oh God, we don't have to sing guys. Come on. Like, you know, all have to sing. Not Wendy. She's like, sing it again, Sam. To receive a governor citation from the governor of Maryland to be recognized and seen for the work that you've done. This is major.

Well, you know, congratulations. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondry Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Pearlman's successful facade

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TJ's a bit max. He is. So he's scowling and she's trying to make conversation and she's like, so that's the mayor's wife at the end of the table, the mayor of Maryland. Yeah, it's very young, young progressive black man. Sorry, I don't know his name. And he's just nodding. And I was going to make fun of the fact that she called the governor of Maryland the mayor of Maryland, except for the fact that I almost said mayor of Maryland about 10 times in this recap already. So I get it now. So Ashley is like, well Giselle, I think she needs real people to talk to,

real people with hideous taste, go do it. And so Karen's like, let's do it. We're going inside to talk. Stacey, you are summoned with your one sad little, have you ever had a citation? Probably not, I do, I have many of them, more you ever had a citation? Probably not. I do. I have many of them.

More than Wendy. All right, come in. So Giselle's like, now listen, one thing I knew in my marriage was where the money was. Where the penis was, had no idea. But the money, I knew it was. Where the accounts were. So getting divorced, I wasn't going blind because men try to make sure you have nothing. Stacey, girl, you in danger.

So Ashley tries to open it up like, Stacy, to be transparent, I had this conversation with you about two minutes ago and I've already told everybody at this party, so let's do this. Yeah, so Stacy's like, well, I was just saying that I'm going into mediation on Monday and I'm choosing to be optimistic.

I am sorry to interrupt. Is that TJ lurking behind a palm frond nearby? Yes, he just really wants to be on the show. So I told him he could join in on the conversation as long as he is discreet about it. Is TJ yelling at the palm frond for not being friendly enough to it during this party? Yeah, he doesn't like being ignored, even by palm fronds. Okay, get on with it, Stacey. Well, when my soon to be ex-husband and I got married almost 20 years ago, we said we will never be the type of people that fight over money and assets. And so that's how I'm moving forward on Monday, just, you know, really in a very positive, naive, misguided space. And Gisele's like, well, everyone says that.

I mean, you don't plan on getting divorced, do you? And she's like, well, I just feel like I know the person that I married. I know him. He's from a well-respected German family. They probably make pianos or warlitzers or candles. What are other things German people make? I haven't really met many of them, but I've heard great things.

Small dolls. Timepieces. Beer, beer mugs. Sausage, sausage buns. Little... Cheese. Little plates. Does that have their own cheese or is that only Swiss people? Seems a little unfair. Music boxes that play Edelweiss.

The sound of music was a good film. Shepherds of the German variety. BMWs. So Stacy's like, I just know the person she probably got Thank you for saving us because someone was probably listening and they're like, these two fucking idiots clearly can't think of anything. They're trying to turn into a joke to hide from the fact that they don't know what Germany manufactures. Wait a minute, BMW, I'll marry them all over again.

Giselle's like, Stacey's like, listen, I know the person I married. Giselle's like, yeah, but you don't know him this way. Meaning, you know the person you married, you don't know the person you're divorcing. Those are two different people, which is why I always say, never marry someone you can't see yourself getting divorced from. It's very important to know what they're going to be like when they divorce you. Like, if people get super mad and lose their temper

and like turn into complete monsters, that's what they're gonna be like when they divorce you. They're not gonna spare you that, you know what I mean? No. So Karen's like, well, you said yourself that you all grew apart. And she's like, tremendously. Well, so then you do not know him.

I was like, ooh, Karen, that's exactly correct. You can't say that someone grew apart from someone and then you also claim that you know them. You don't, obviously. Yeah. So, Karen's like, but you grew apart just tremendously. So then TJ is talking to Ray and he's like, wow, well guess what I found out? The new hosts are making $56,000 bonuses, which is kind of like a peek into the window

of why he's dating this chick. He's just waiting for his piece of that 56k. Yep. He wants it. So then Karen, Karen's like, Listen, don't taunt your new love in front of him because you know, too much that will make it that will make him fight. So you have to get to put the brakes on all that. And Karen's basically like, I think you should close one chapter before you open the other.

Seeing your boyfriend while she's still a married man? Take my advice, hide. Which I think also is fairly true. I mean, that's probably also why she keeps on insisting that TJ is merely just her very good friend. Yes, I think so, yeah, because you can't you're still technically married, you know So that's why they're hiding the the people from each other now. She is taking them all over the television So I don't know how wise that is

I guess she's hoping that they close this deal before any of this heirs and I don't know wait What about it? Here's a conspiracy theory. Tell me if you think this has any merit, because I'm sort of coming up with it on the spot. What if we think that TJ is in it for the money, and he knows that she has a lot of money coming her way, assuming that the divorce goes properly. So if she, however, is sleeping with someone else, she may risk, she may not get all the money that she's supposed to get.

So maybe this whole thing about they don't have sex or anything, is that like some like high level misdirection? Is that like a way to sort of that way she can say in divorce proceedings, oh, I'm not even sleeping with anyone else? And that way he can get all the money. Yeah, but TJ really doesn't seem very sexual.

I mean, I'm getting zero vibes off of him. Yeah. I think it's as they say it. What? I think it's as they say it. I think he's just very religious and not having sex. Yeah. Because she's like, I want to date and have sex, but he won't. So I don't think she's worried about that part of the divorce, but I don't know. Who knows? It's a fun thing to think about. She's like, well, my experience with this divorce is just different than Ashley's. Ashley's husband looks like, I don't know, a sad old dog ready to be put down with the one watery eye that

shakes and really know if he's looking at you. My husband doesn't look at me like that yet, so I think we're safe. Yeah, I'm welcoming this advice and it's making me think about things, but they don't know my situation. I want to see which situation goes to our first, Stacey's or Kyle Richards, because they are both saying the same thing this week on Bravo. Like, no, our marriage is different. It's going to be a very docile and friendly negotiation. I'm curious. I mean, we know it can happen for sure, but there's just something like the bravado

that these two have that like things are not, the shit's not gonna go down. I don't know. I just don't believe it in most cases. Yeah. He's thirsty and I think she feels like she needs a man to shoot with on the show. Maybe it's as simple as that, you know

Because she some kind of plays dumb I don't think she's as dumb as she plays because she didn't come she didn't really start this character until much later in the season Right. She started when she started she wasn't like this kind of like what she was she didn't have that kind of like Innocence about her that she seems to have now I don't think I think it didn't come until three or four weeks into the show that kind of like innocence about her that she seems to have now. I don't think. I think it didn't come until three or four weeks into the show that she was like, oh, this is a fun character. But I don't know.

I can't tell. I think she's kind of playing it up. So anyway, she takes the advice. She doesn't get defensive that they're giving her advice, which I feel like any other housewife would like, stay out of my business. But she didn't at all. And so Ashley's like, well, let's do some shots for me because it's still my birthday, bitches.

So then Wendy is with Eddie and his family and she's like, thank you guys so much for coming to see me get my citations. This was amazing. I've been citationed. This was a huge moment for you to be involved in. And I not only want to say thank you for being here, I want to say you're welcome. You're welcome for the opportunity to be here to see my citations. Did any of you write anything down or take any pictures? Okay, I will send you a full transcript soon. What an honor for you to witness the first person to ever turn 40 in the state of Maryland.

I'm so glad that this moment was immortalized by someone sent by the governor. You welcome everyone. I'm glad this brought the family together. Yeah. So basically it's a nice scene. This was super fun. We didn't get much out of this, right? No, but it was nice because basically

Eddie's siblings were there and they were hugging with Wendy. It seems like on the sibling level, you know, a lot of the beef has been squashed or at least people are moving forward. And the next challenge is really going to be the parents. Cause I think, I mean we all know this is clearly like a mom versus mom battle and the kids had to take sides. So it sounds like the kids are finally like, you know what, we don't have to take sides over this anymore. Like,

let's let our baddie moms deal with it on their own terms. But like we can still be friends. Yeah. Um, yeah. And it sucks when you have to, you know, have the the parents fight trickles down to the kids. That sucks. Yeah, that happened to my family. And it's not great. So Wendy's, you know, Wendy's like, I just wanted my kids to know their aunties. And so it's cute.

They all cry and hug and stuff. I mean, I say we didn't get much out of this because I'm a shallow bitch and I just want people to fight and be like, you're cursed. I want lightning and curses and stuff. But that's not what it is. Instead, it's like a nice family scene, which is great. You know what, Ronnie? You know what, Ronnie, last time you got what you asked for, you were then stuck with Melissa

Gorga for a decade. So be careful. Be careful what you wish for. But that did make that show good. It really did. It did. What would we have had without Melissa Gorga? Season three was epic. Yeah. She makes me crazy, but hey, you know, credit where credit is due. You need a cog in the wheel? No, not a cog. You need a stick in the wheel. You need to stick a stick in the wheel. Yeah. No one wants to hear a housewife's car running smoothly. It's boring. Okay. Speaking of, let's get back to this happy family scene. So, they make up. Okay. So, then Gisele and

Grace have a scene which nobody needs, I'm sorry. I love Grace, I think she's great, but this is another scene where Gisele's like, you went to college, it's so sad. Your sister's went to college, what do you think about me? Now that I'm a mom who has girls in college. She's like, I'm so bored. Grace is like, please stop bringing me on TV,

I'm literally exhausted. This was basically a variation on the classic, my daughters are going to college scene. This is now a, my daughter has been to college and is back from college, and then they're all going back to college just in different grades. So that's an exciting twist.

And she talks about her dad passing and how sad that was, which obviously it was. And then she's like, well, you need to keep yourself… I'm not laughing at the dad dying. I'm not laughing at the dad dying. It was just something about the way you said, it was. It just made me laugh. And it was.

It was sad. You know, I'm not going to talk about that. But then she's like, you know, I need to keep myself busy because I don't get to go back to school every couple of months and destroy my mother. I'm going to take a cooking class. And Grace is like, you need to. Cause yeah, or fashion class. Um, so yeah, that's a nice scene.

Happy to see that Grace is doing well in her fresh after her freshman year of college, blah, blah, blah. This, this whole episode, by the way is very much like like about family families eyes parents children yada yada yada and the next stop on the family express is over at Ashley's house where Dylan and Dean are once again just sitting around on that kitchen island I have I have gone from being annoyed that those kids are crawling all over the kitchen island to just, I've just accepted it, that that's just like where they play.

And that's just, that's what it is. That's their playroom, it's a kitchen island. It's actually not, that is not a space for cooking. It is a place for little children to just roll around and move trucks around on. Yeah, that's what, you know, know kids you can't worry too much about it You can't really overthink it. You know what I mean a four Yeah, you know they pick up a fork and it's coming towards their eye just pick

I hope there's an angel watching that kid because I'm busy and listen the only way that kids learn to not put forks in Their eye is to gather an eye out with a fork on accident. So, you know what God be with you That's their that's their place and honestly they do seem like they are genuinely two very happy little boys. Like they are so happy. Like they are just like having the best time. And I was thinking about it, you know, earlier today, I was eating a sandwich outside and a bird was hopping around on the table right in front of me, which I did not appreciate. To me, that's like the next worst thing to like, it's probably worse. It's worse than a child on a kitchen island.

But I was also like, this is what the bird does. Like the bird is here, the bird knows if there's gonna be crumbs that are gonna fall. That's why the bird is on the table. The bird's just waiting. I didn't like how close it was to me, but the truth was this is just the pattern of it and I can't fight it.

And so whether it's a bird hopping around, shitting a little bit on a table in front of me while it waits for my crumbs, or a child playing around on a kitchen island, sometimes you just have to accept that certain things have their own spaces. Yeah, you just gotta let life happen, babe. Like what are you gonna do, nothing?

Of course I did shoot the bird away. I was like, I accepted this is your space, but I'm not gonna hold space for you. You have to move. And guess what else? The bird has to also accept life. Life happens. Thank you.

People coming and shooing you away. It's also part of the day. And you know what? The bird, I shoot it away. I was like, just wait your turn. And then when I got up to leave, the bird and all of its friends descended on the three crumbs that I left and they had a field day. So you know what? Nature was doing its work.

Because you got rid of the alpha. You got rid of the alpha. The alpha was like, these are mine. I'm getting these. And you're like, no, you're not. Get away. And then you let the poor other birds who never get a shot get some. You know, though, you did a good thing. You did a good thing there. Yeah.

Yeah, they're like, let's see how long Jocelyn can stand there in front of the human before it gets scared. And she gets scared and flies away. And she didn't last long. Yeah, was fucking Jocelyn can stand there in front of the human before it gets scared. And she gets scared and flies away and she didn't last long. Yeah. The worst fucking Jocelyn. So Ashley is with the boys on the countertops and she's like, Hey, guys, what country are we studying at camp? And Dean's like, where is Scotland?

Next to it is Wales. What do you think of it? They it wang wang wang wang. She's like, where's Wales located? And Dylan's like, it's in French toast. What do you think of it? They went away. When when she's like, where's wheels located? And Dylan's like, he's in French toast. What do you think of it? wheels is mixed with French toast. It's inside of me. Well, they're not gonna do very well on this exam. But that's okay. We are going to accept that they are also two years old

and should not be expected to know where Wales is. But I do love that they said that Wales is in French toast. That's pretty good. And they're beating Ashley on the butt with a balloon, which I think is funny. It's very hilarious. It's like mother like son, like father like son. You've got enormous big candy and it needs a little attention. Wham, wham, wham, wham.

Can't spell Wails without wah to start it off. So she's like, I'm going to mediation with Michael and my head is just swarming. There's so many things, but I'll tell you where I'm putting my lows in my carry on. is just swarming. There's so many things, but I'll tell you where I'm putting my lows, in my carry-on." So then the boys are hitting her with their balloon and she's like, have kids they said. Oh. You know what? I have the children seven days a week and then Michael will have them for a weekend and the worst possible scenario for me is that when my divorce is finalized, that I'll have to go weeks without seeing my children. Literally, even as I say it,

my heart starts to beat really fast. Hold on, just cramming it into my carry-on. Does it really fit? Yes, it does. Girl, you're like a commercial for divorce. I won't get to see my kids weeks at a time. Sign me up. Can I divorce you so I don't have to see your kids

for weeks at a time? I'm kidding. They're actually cute kids. They are cute kids. But think about all the dinner parties you could have with that kitchen island opened up. Yeah, true. But people are going to be like, wait a minute, do I have a booger on this toast? Where did this come from? Sorry. Did you know that French... The Geography Project. By the way, they say that French toast was near South America too, I just wanted to say. I'm not shaming the kids.

We're not knowing that. Have you guys heard that Wills is inside French toast? In South America. I can't even, I shouldn't even be making fun of that because I would be no better. Let's face it. Hey, what are they manufacturing French toasts? BMWs. So, um, Ashley's driving and she's like, I got this. The universe is always working for me.

Always. Yeah, fuck off, Evil Knievel! Is the universe working for you if you wind up with Michael Darby? I don't know. Now you have two tiny little Michael Darbys. They've got three of them. I mean, that's the... Yeah, I mean, the upside is you've got your kids. The downside is you had to sleep with Michael Darby a few times. Listen, she's going to get a lot of money. So yeah, I mean, I think she's on track. I think the universe is sort of like, it's not that the universe is on her side.

It's like the universe is just kind of fucking with her a little bit. Like the universe is giving her the metaphorical crumb, and she is the bird on the table. Sometimes she gets the crumbs and sometimes she gets waved off. I think the universe is always working for us, you know, it's just not all the table. Sometimes she gets the crumbs and sometimes she gets waved off. I think the universe is always working for us, you know? It's just not all the time. It's like the universe is working for you but it's not gonna change people cutting you off in traffic which I think we learned right now in this scene.

And so then Ashley is still talking to herself and stuff and she's like, oh my God, can we just please avoid Michael seeing me here, please. And so she kind of hides from him. I don't know how, but she's like doing that thing where she's tucking her head as if she's not driving a huge SUV through the parking lot. And she's like, my dignity is intact. Let's go.

So she goes in for her superhero mediation moment. Did she forget about her singing last week? So I'm wondering about that Dignity Intact comment a little bit. Is the Dignity Intact? My dignity's on key and it's ready to sing. No, no, no. Ma'am, we're gonna need you to steal your dignity

in a personal item under the seat, thank you. So next we get a Kierna scene, which is rare, and it's fun because she's, this is a scene at Open Arms, the social working business. I'm not really sure what this is. It's a social working, it's a non-profit. She has a MedSpot, but Greg has like this nonprofit.

And there's somehow even fewer, fewer things on the wall than in this room that I'm in currently right now. It was just, I was like, is this their office? Did they just move in here today? So she's bringing everyone lunch and, and basically she tells us that Greg has had this for 10 years and he's like the boss. He was like a clinical social worker and then once he started the company, his families all came on board and you know, just worked. And it's funny because Greg thinks he's my boss, but I don't really take it that serious.

I mean, it's cute. Greg thinks he's my boss, but I don't really take it that serious. I mean, it's cute. No, he's literally your boss. And do you even work there because she's giving off wife who shows up to pretend to work, like Mia with the pamphlets at the crack the back or whatever. She's giving that energy very heavily and the family hates her guts. She's like, Hi, everybody. Do you miss me? And they're like, Mm hmm. She goes, What's like, hi everybody, do you miss me? And they're like, mm-hmm.

She goes, what's going on today? What's on the agenda? And she just like sits down and the lady's like, well, I guess we have to do book bags. And she's like, she just looks confused. Like, why are we doing that? I thought we were giving Botox to kindergartners. It's never too late, it's never too early to start.

She kind of reminds me of Gail from Secrets and Wives. Do you remember Gail? That's what I was thinking of too, the dentist wife, right? No, I think she was a plastic surgeon's wife. And she showed up and was like forcing everyone to wear blazers. That was her storyline. Yes, I was thinking of that because we had the conversation that I totally get the wife

coming in and being like, I'm the boss too, even when she's totally not. Because my mom did that growing up in my dad's company. She was like, I want to be vice president. He's like, okay, honey. Then she just shows up and she's like, hello, I'm vice president. Everybody has to listen to me and guess what we're doing? We're putting drapes up. All right, let's have a meeting about it. And we're like, oh God. She was like a terrorist for a week and a half.

And then she just disappeared. She was like, this is hard. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with his The Grinch holiday podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and

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weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts. So Kierna is basically Gail slash your mom coming into this company. Except actually she doesn't really want to do anything. I think she just wants to hang out and just say hi to people. So she's there and then she's 36 and Greg is 42. And she says that Greg is like definitely like a caveman a little bit. Like he has this mindset, like he's the man, he's the provider.

And now he's expecting things like dinner. And she's like, yeah, that's like so 1960. Like, let just like be free. So like, let me be free. It's, you know, but great. Being a dick. He's like trying to be a dick in front of his family and being like, I love to boss you around. So then he like, ugh. So then he brings her into the office and he's like, so I'm looking at these little hip hop snippets or whatever. And she's like, what's up?

So you're saying I don't act right? And he's like, well, at times, you know, you can get off the hinge a little bit, a little bit. Yeah, and she's like, well, I'm always gonna be off the hinge just so you know, and even if we get married, I'm gonna be a man. So then Greg is like, well, I know you should work on that, you know?

So, she's basically like, well, you don't think I'm putting in the work? I actually kept it really cute, you'd be proud of me. So, I don't know if I told you this or not, but my lawyer said, basically she's saying that, like, the lawsuit's going well. It's not a, it's honestly not a very compelling scene. The lawsuit's going well,

and she's doing a personal injury claim. And, um, you know, the big issue that Kierna had with Greg is that it sounds like Greg didn't want her to be on the show. He was afraid that if she went on the show, she would get like dragged into some bullshit, which she actually did get dragged into. And then that fight that happened with Deborah just kind of like, it kind of like bolstered up his opinion about the

situation. Yeah. So he's like, so this is gonna end and she's like, well, it's not ended. It's just more so like, I just don't want to give it too much credence to something that's going to interrupt all the process all the process that I made. Just say what you're trying to say. Just say it. So she's like, remember I was crying? We don't see nothing on your forehead. what you're trying to say. Just say it. So she's like, Remember, I was crying? We don't see nothing on your forehead. I'm

so sorry to be team Ashley on this one. And I'm glad she's suing that lady for hitting her and stuff because Deborah was completely out of line. But I don't need a whole storyline for an entire year about it. But just don't. Yeah, I still am like, I still like not quite sure why Kieran is a full fledged housewife. Again, it's nothing against her. I like her, she's beautiful.

She seems like really cool and everything, but like, I don't really know what's going on. Like how, like why, like what is warranting the full housewife treatment? Like, well she's not even at the event later on in the episode She just sort of is giving kind of like friend of which is fine. But like I'm just sort of a little perplexed I'm perplexed on how how she got this unless she's gonna have a bigger role later in the season

Well, I think maybe it's like a Game of Thrones type thing where they're propping her up and being like look everybody We're making a new housewife. So maybe the other housewives feel threatened and they'll do more. I'm guessing, I'm guessing they're using Kierna as a prop to the other to get the other ladies in gear or something, but it's not really working for us. No one seems to really care. It feels like Jassy would be the one. I mean, Jassy is the one, her husband's in the NFL, she likes putting on airs when she had that whole party at the Willard and everything.

Whereas Kierna- Well, I read on the Reddit. You want to hear what I read? Yes. What? I read that Jassy was going to be the main flute holder, but then she got demoted after the trip and they made it Kierna. But I don't know why.

I don't know why they would have done that because if Jassy did something, we didn't turned it, they made it Kierna, but I don't know why, I don't know why they would have done that, because if Jassy did something, we didn't see it, right, like something terrible or problematic, we didn't see what it was. So maybe Kierna does have a larger role over the next part of the season, you know, we did get our mid-season trailer here, so maybe there's like a turning point there, because yeah, it just seems to me like Jassy would be

the housewife, but she's not. I mean, like Kierna, again, just also in terms of just thinking about what Bravo looks for, Bravo loves decadence. They usually like decadence and wealth and all this stuff. And you have Kierna who seems very nice. Her husband's like a social worker. It just doesn't seem very Bravo. I don't obviously have a problem with social workers, but it seems like Bravo wants a little bit more of the glitz and the glamour. So I'm just, I'm confused, but I'm open to it. Yeah. So he's like, well, you know, you had therapy, so that's good.

And she's like, well, I mean, I'm not crying right now, so that's good. He goes, yeah, for once. And she's like, why you want to make me cry now? I was like, okay, great scene, guys, pack it up. Maybe next time let's do this at the Med Spa because at least we could be surrounded by important things like Botox. That's like the social work for aging gay people. Okay, that's what I care about. Those are the people really changing lives. Yeah, exactly. Now, Giselle is walking into a place called Deck 11 and Karen and Ashley and Wendy and Stacey, they all arrive and Giselle orders a charcuterie plate and Giselle is basically

like Wendy comes in and they're laughing about how Wendy always has glasses to match every outfit and we see that, et cetera, and they're getting their charcuterie or they keep calling it funny things. So then Stacy has just had her had her mediation. So she's like, Well, everyone, that was eye opening to sit with you all and hear what you had to say. Now it's time for the weather. Alright, Chuck, what do you have for the weather? I went to my first mediation point and I was wearing these earrings, which were so adorable that we had to start late because nobody could stop commenting on them.

If you guys would like to try them out, you can try them for 30 days. Just let me know by calling 1-800-TRY-EM-ON. So I did have a conversation with my attorney like you suggested. First of all, I just want to say, me and my husband had a very old school kind of relationship. I'm just a beautiful woman on television and he's from a very well-respected family in guess where? Germany. So, that's how that started. I just didn't know where anything was, where the money was. I didn't even know where the sandwich bread was. Isn't that crazy? Honestly. I didn't even know where the sandwich bread was. Is that crazy?

Honestly, I didn't even know what marzipan was, which apparently is a really big deal in Germany. So to be honest, I haven't paid a bill in like 15 years. And there were just a lot of things I didn't know about because you know, when you go into mediation, you have to have full financial disclosure. So that's why for limited time only, I am offering this pen for $10. With this pen, you can write notes to yourself to say things like, look into where money is, where you can find it, and where it's kept. And the amount of notes you can leave around your house, everyone, I am telling you, this is the deal of a lifetime.

$10 for a pen, I told you to do it. Oh, Lord. So, she was like, well, and then, you know, you have full financial disclosure and I didn't know about this account and then, wait, what did you say? What was in my name? So, that shady, he was putting her name on all these different accounts she had no idea about and instead of, of course, because this is Housewives, I really want to know about this. I'm like, what did his shady ass do? And what name, what accounts raise your name on? And instead, everybody makes it about themselves. And it starts with Wendy. Wendy's like, I feel the same way. I mean, it's my birthday. And just so you know, I

don't know how to pay my mortgage. I have no idea. But you know what? I don't even know who my light company is. Like literally the same as everyone else's. Why you really are behind. Stacey's like, well, because you trust your husband. But what if I told you that your husband might someday make you the CEO of a shell LLC called Tretzels Br worse. I'm sorry everyone. Wendy's like I do my great idea. I'm coming up with the pretzel bought worse industry. So she's like, yeah, you listen, I twist my husband, but also I'm taking care of the kids. I know everything about the kids. So you should know everything about the money.

Listen, the kids aren't going to give you money. You need to figure out where the money is. It doesn't matter that you know where the kids are. That's crazy." And so she was like, yeah, I guess I should figure out who my mortgage goes to. You need to figure, you need to get a fucking, what do they call those? Forensic accountant to explain shit to you so you know where all your money is and where it's going yeah absolutely so then ashley is like yeah well you know my ex

husband uh-huh soon-to-be ex-husband was very similar and he likes to care of everything so i understand it's a learning curve and stacy's like yes it is a learning curve thank you so much that is a great observation thank you so much. That is a great observation. Thank you so much. And Stacey says, transitioning into being a single mom of Arabella, I've got to be smarter. I've got to know what's going on with the money. I'm glad that I now know everything.

And maybe I now know everything because the ladies nudged me a little bit and they said, hey, speak up and ask questions. So ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce, I now know what a bank is. I like that she turns all the negatives into a positive on this show. Cause I feel like every time they really start with her,

like they're like, you do not know your husband. I think there's a lot of fights that could have happened where Stacey just takes everything they're saying as a positive. And she's like, I would like to thank you for telling me. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Cause I really don't. Hugs to you guys, right?

You probably just saved my life." So then Ashley is like, well, it's interesting you have multiple appointments because ours was a set day and it sucked and it went all day and I didn't make any eye contact mostly because it looks like he's crying all the time even when he's not. But ultimately, you know. And Wendy's like, oh boy, was it contentious? Or was it just a lot you all had to go through? Did anyone give you citations? Did you want to hold mine? No, it wasn't contentious until Michael grabbed my lawyer's butt. But other than that, we didn't reach an agreement. And there is a confidentiality clause that the other party would like to implement and

I'm not really basically Michael's like you can't talk about me on tv anymore and she's like no I am going to explicitly talk about you on tv so that's a non-starter yeah she was like what you think I'm gonna get Giselle to stop bashing Michael on tv that's never gonna happen like I can't do that and it was nine hours that they on TV, that's never gonna happen. Like, I can't do that. And it was nine hours that they were in there. That's crazy. I know. And Wendy's like, oh, did they want to implement

that post-divorce? And Ashley goes, yes, for eternity. Wendy's like, you mean the perpetuity? So no matter what form we come back in, in different lifetimes, chipmunks, turtles, rocks, we still can't talk about it for eternity. It's kind of the same thing, but it's still just kind of funny. So Karen's like, well, Ashley says, the other option is that our attorneys communicate now

to come to an agreement. So I'm waiting to see if maybe they acquiesce a little before I can do that. I'm learning a lot of words in court. I know, wow. So Karen's like, go ahead Ashley, she's got a bargaining chip. He wants her silence.

Well, that's called alimony. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ashley gets paid. Kind of true. Like if he wants her to be quiet, he's got to have to compensate for Like if he wants her to be quiet, he's gotta have to compensate for the money she's going to lose after she gets fired from the show

for not being interesting enough. Well, that's exactly right. He's gonna have to match her salary for the show at least in pepper to it. Pepper to it. That's when you guys have pepper forever. For eternity. You're never ever pepper.

Although I remember when I was an intern at Nickelodeon, I had to sign a contract about like, it was like, oh, if I come up with some sort of creative idea, like MTV networks gets it. And it's like, and this contract is good for anywhere in the universe. It said like in the universe, which I think is actually standard language.

And I just think that's amazing. It's like, just in case, just in case space travel has some amazing advancements, you wind up, I don't know, on Saturn. If you come up with an idea on Saturn, we still own it. Yeah, that's how they roll. So now we go to another amazing scene, Karen with Raven. Raven, in this scene, says she's always about to start crying. She's not strong like her mother. I totally buy that. Doesn't Raven kind of look like a basket case?

Raven looks like she just cried. Now she's smiling. She's like, hi, I'm doing great. Everything is wonderful, mother. I'm having the best time. Not dating, but trying. Loving work. Love it. I came up with so many ideas for Amazon. Okay, so now Amazon, they're gonna do orders online. She can go online and order. It's great. They're really happy with me. Do you even have a job?

I feel like she's lying. Yeah, well, it's, oh, what's, yeah, she, I think she's an influencer, right? I do believe she has a job. I'm just saying there's something fishy. Well, okay, she's an influencer, I believe. And what was so funny is that later in the scene, Karen is like, oh, I'm so proud of Raven

and her marketing career. I'm like, it's just not, it's not a marketing career. She's an influencer. And it's just funny that Karen's trying to put a spin on it to make it sound more professional. Because basically, Raven is- Oh, I fell for it.

I thought she was marketing for Amazon. That's why I was saying I don't believe this. The way she was talking about it, I was like, she doesn't sound like she's in marketing for Amazon. I mean, I could be wrong. And now it makes sense if she's an influencer. I could be wrong, but I could have sworn that last year, they said that she was an influencer.

And if she's doing like Amazon stuff, I assume it was like she was doing kind of Amazon live kind of things. And talking about how she's doing like Amazon stuff, I assume it was like she was doing kind of Amazon live kind of things. And talking about how she's really not that close with Dorit and other fun stuff like that. So yeah, I think she's like, in the mix. Yeah, those are huge. I mean, huge stars do them like Kyle Richards. So she's like, Yeah, I do meetings with them weekly. I

feel so executive. And Karen's like, Look at you. I look at you now. And I just live vicariously through you. And I would like to say, please stop drinking before you get into a car. I'm in a lot of trouble for what you did. I just wish I hadn't possessed your body at that moment. And also, could you please lay off the chicken? It's not good for me. It's a very dirty bird. Every day I look at Raven, I could not be happier for her. She's living her best life. She's thriving in her marketing career. I want to be in her purse. I want to go with her. Belvedere isn't mine. What were we talking about?

Mother, why does my purse have a dent? Oh, I was in your purse and I accidentally drove over a meatloaf in it. So, apologies. I drove your purse into a deer. I'm so sorry. There's a clump of hair on my purse. Yes, I'm sorry about that. There was a deer trying to attack your purse car. The truth will come out. There's a court case though, Raven. I can't talk about it. So, they talk about Raven's love life and she's like, obviously, I'm dating. So many. Dating, dating, dating. You know me. Can't even count them on one hand. Just dating, dating. Hey, waiter, can I borrow another hand? But you know, you'd know if it was serious, mom. You would know. It's just not.

Well, you know, I love that you're taking care of yourself and that you love yourself. And this is your time, you know? And in fact, one of the most powerful moments after the accident was when I realized I wasn't taking care of myself also. Oh, if only grief had not robbed myself of myself in that moment across the median. Oh, Raven." And she's like, she says, you always say to me, Mom, you're so strong, so proud. You are, Mom. You are so proud, you know. You just carry the weight of the world on you. I mean, look at you, doing everything for everybody else. Look at all the stuff you give to your face. Look

what you give to your face alone. You give it so much. You know, I cry all the time, Mother. We're so opposite in that way. You know, you soldier through- Yes, which is why I need to know where are my soldiers. Yes, Mother, you don't have to ask the waitress that, by the way, every time she comes by. She is going to be a soldier for you, she promised. Anyway, I'm just blubbering the corner of my handkerchief and you're so strong, mother. But I have to realize, I am but a human. I'm but a human.

A very, very famous, well-regarded human. I need to take time to find out, oh, what is this? And they bring over this food and these guys are trying so hard to sell this food. They look ridiculous. And these two girls, they're not eating it anywhere. They're looking at it like, okay, thank you so much. Here's a trial plate of 18 different fish from all over the country, cut in these ways. They're like, oh, please just drop the food. We're trying to do a scene here, people. They're like coming in and tap dancing every two seconds. Dips. I know, they did like an amuse-bouche.

They're doing a whole tasting. And that was so funny, because when I was watching it, I was like, if I were there, I would be stuffing my face with it. I'd be eating all these dips. It all looked really good. And I would have been, you know, me with a dip, I would just, like, there would not have been

anything left over. And they were being so dainty, having like one little bite. I was like, how do people have that self-control? Okay. Now maybe I'm just saying this because I ate a very buttery fatty sausage roll this afternoon and my mouth is so dry because of it at the moment. And then I had a full sandwich afterwards and then I had oysters afterwards. But I seriously do want to know how do people, how do people just have like a little bite of something and move on? I don't understand it. I don't know. I guess it's because they're on camera, right?

So they don't want to like be hogging down, especially a 10 course meal or whatever the fuck they're trying to serve them, you know. And it was different people too. It was like, I'm the chef. I'm the waiter. I'm the runner. I'm the hora. I am the lady who does a crosswalk across the street.

For fuck's sake, just give me some chips and get out of here. One of them did kind of look like the chef who popped up in every restaurant that one sees in Salt Lake City, like every restaurant they went to. It was the same chef every single restaurant. Truly. Okay, so they're talking, now they start talking about the drunk driving charge and, um, dun dun dun dun dun dun. Karen's like, well you know everybody's bullying me about it. And Raven's like, anyone who does not have the utmost concern for your safety is not your friend mother. Um, that's right they are not a soldier for me. And uh, she's like, yes there's not a friend for me." And she's like, yes, there's not a friend.

That's exactly what I said. And there is no other conversation to be had. I think to go for mess or go for anything other than that is just shameful, period. Thank you, Miss Raven. I couldn't have said it more eloquently myself. Also, I mean, did I write that on a no card for you to say tonight? Yes, but I couldn't have said it myself. Just because I wrote it out doesn't mean

I could have said it well myself. So then we go over to Mia and Jacqueline and they're at a store. And Mia is basically gonna give Jacqueline a makeover because she feels like Jacqueline's fashion is just not on point. Yeah, you know Jacqueline's Jacqueline. She's a country girl. She grew up on a farm with horses. You know, I don't even know if they wore shoes back then. I mean, she's not a fashionista. It

doesn't come natural. So… This is so offensive, but I also love it. And then, of course, Jacqueline comes in dressed like the Hamburglar, which doesn't happen, you know I know it's like I was just offended for you and you're dressed like you're working at the footlocker now. Come on, man I know and she had like this little Bob But also is Mia a fashionista as she went to talk isn't also Mia from the country. I can't tell I thought I don't know me is acting like she's a Rockefeller over there, you know And she also gets mad later that Giselle's kid was sneaking out with a boy or something.

Weren't you stripping at 19 meeting Gordon? Like banging old men for cash. I don't really think that you're the moral epicenter, but you know, that's what's fun about it. I know. Yeah. So, so then Jacqueline's like, okay, well, she's, Mia's saying that she's gonna give her,

make her look better. And Jacqueline's like, why are you trying to make me look worse? She goes, well, I can't get any worse, Jacqueline. Mia! And then we see a sequence of Jacqueline looking terrible in different outfits. So then she's trying, she tries on some outfit

that looks honestly terrible on her. I'm like, this is not Mia trying to make Jacqueline look good. This is Mia trying to basically get revenge for Jacqueline momentarily sticking up for Gordon at the at the birthday party? So she calls Jacqueline here to announce that she will now be coming for Giselle. She's like, I'm coming for Giselle. I'm mad at her now. And Jacqueline's like, OK, can I have this shoe? Can I have these shoes too? Sure. She's just so mean to me. She's growling it out. So she has now decided she's coming for Giselle. But good luck, because Giselle has decided that she's going to be nice to people this season. So let's see if you can get through it. Let's see if you can do this. Yeah. Good luck on that front. Um, so Mia is basically, yeah,

she just doesn't, she's going to try this out as, as best as she can. Where are we? So next is, um, we're making a long recap out of a show. We're not much happy. I was like, are we recapping the scene or are we going to the next one? I was like, it's not like Ronnie was saying, let's go to the next one. I wasn't totally sure. They didn't say anything in the scene. This scene was just like, I'm mad at Giselle now.

I just wanted to confirm. I was like, are we going to are we just going to move forward? OK, good. I'm listening. There was nothing for me to go. I'm happy. I'm happy. The whole scene, she got she got clothes for her and she she announced that she's going to be coming for jazz. I'll go to know if you want to.

No, no, I don't want to go into it anymore. There was nothing else to say. And now we're at Ashley's over the edge event, which has sprung on us out of nowhere. She's like, Well, here it is. It's my big event. I was like, wait, what? There's a big event? Did you just have a big event? But she is doing a thing called Over the Edge, which is basically, it's gonna be a charity fundraiser thing

for something called New Hope that serves the homeless community in the DMV and all that good stuff. And she talks about how, like, if it weren't for her grandmother, she probably would have been homeless herself or unhoused growing up. And you know, to me, all I see is like another charity

in this episode that is not giving Botox to poor people. So let's stop wasting our time, okay? So basically this charity, for some reason, has to do with you not having a home, yet we're going to scale down the largest building in town. I don't know how those two things correlate, but that's what's going to happen here. Ashley is going to rappel down the side of a gigantic building, and then people are going

to watch it, and then they're going to give money to poor people. Yes. So, Giselle is there, and then Stacy arrives with Arabella and then everyone's just saying hello and like more people are arriving, more children. Wendy shows up with her kids and everyone's just saying hello. It's like a big long sequence of hello, hello, hello. Are you doing this? Oh yeah, we're doing this and more kids show up, Ash's kids show up, etc.

It's a lovely parking lot. Guys, this is going to be so fun. And they're like yelling for Ashley and then Ashley gets really scared up there. She's like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm crawling down a building. I can't believe it. Everyone's like a little aunt. Oh my God. And then she does it, you know, she comes down the side of the building. She's like, if you can marry Michael, you can do anything. You know what I mean? If you don't have to close your eyes through that,

you should be flying down this thing. If you can mount Michael, you can dismount the building. So Mia. If you can climb Michael, certainly. If you can deal with someone repelling, you can repel off of something. So then if you can be that revolted and keep a smile, you can repel and keep your smile. I feel like we're circling a really good one but we haven't

we haven't we can't get it. It's okay. It's the Mondays. It's the case of the Mondays. Um, so when Mia arrived, just, just real quickly, when Mia arrived and she says hello, she is basically like, by the way, everyone, things are not good, but Giselle and I, so that will be our scene today. And Giselle's like, I thought we were doing good. And I just, I'm highlighting this cause I like Giselle's like, she's like, I'm confused between Gordon and their relationship and Elf on the shelf. It's a lot going on. But

you have all the energy for me. Why? They're so shady about anything like whenever they can be they just get such a dig. I mean, DJ Apple box is still one of the funniest things. Okay, so so as she goes down the building, she makes it and Karen is like praying at one point. And so they cheer and everything and now it's like, okay, great. We've done that. So should we maybe have a fight?

Should we should Giselle and me have a scene now? Let's have a scene. Yeah, let's turn our money right. So then is that where we are? Yeah, I guess so, huh? Yeah. Okay, let me fast forward. So basically, Mia's like,

no, because I went back a little bit, so it's a little confusing, but Mia's like, well, Gisele, this dress that's cute. And Gisele's like, thank you. It's kind of like a bedroom slipper, and like a nightgown, she goes, oh, well, it's colorful. And I wanted Ashley to see me.

That's cute. You read the loudest, grossest thing you have so your friend on top of the building can see you. So she's like, I'm going to make this really, really quick. Like, if there's anything that bothers me, you know I'm always going to come to you directly. So at your event, the GNA Brain Cancer and Jogging Pants event, I came to you and I shared some really personal things. And then it shows her calling a meeting to share it with literally everybody because they were so personal. But then at Wendy's birthday party, you started

questioning why you would post this on social media. Da da da da, da da da da, da da. Right, da. I don't really say da da da, I say ah. Like, okay, well, you can't tell me that you're not really going through things and that you don't ever share on social media. Like, you're always post that you're a beautiful and outstanding mom, and you're a child that you're a beautiful and outstanding mom and your children are not permanent either, Giselle.

And Giselle's like, no, they are not. But you know, when I talked about the confusion, I thought that was like a legitimate question. And she's like, yeah, but like come to me. Like don't bring it to the group. Like your girls were sneaking boys in the house in the Dominican Republic. You didn't want me to bring that to the grouping? Guess what? I didn't bring it to the group. It's like you're actively bringing it to the group now. This is flimsy. And you are the queen of not bringing something to someone's face.

We had a whole discussion about Karen going to rehab because we were chatting about it in another room with Jocelyn and Stacey. Not only that, you're trying to slut shame her kids while you're actively sneaking men in the back door right now, like currently on your Instagram, which we saw. So whatever. So Giselle's like, oh, well, I did catch a boy on the Ring Cam when we were gone. And she's like, yeah. And she told me,

I don't run and go tell because that's your business, you know, but then on social media, you post like everything's perfect. So what she's supposed to do now, go on her social media, you post like everything's perfect. Oh, so what she's supposed to do now go on her social media and be like, here's the ring footage of my daughter sneaking a boy and I hope she learns her lesson. Also, like a boy sneaking into a room. That's not that doesn't mean that your family like that's not a that doesn't move the needle in any direction. I mean, unless he was like, I don't know, a murderer who was like, come with me

so we can chop people's heads off, that's a problem. But if it's just like a youthful dalliance, I don't think that's like, her family's in trouble. I think it's like, okay, I think she can have that. Yeah, yeah, Mia's full of it. Also, look, I can get if you don't want someone giving you parenting advice when it's unasked for, but you're a disaster, okay?

You're calling a whole group together to cry and say that your husband's unsafe to be around, but then you're posting with your kids around him and saying, like, here we all are, both the guys I'm fucking and the kids that might or might not be there. It's like, what do you want people to say? It's confusing for your children. It is. I'm sorry, but kids that might or might not be there. It's like, what do you want people to say? It's confusing for your children. It is, I'm sorry, but that's just the fact. You literally have ink climbing up a ladder to your window to sneak in.

First floor window, I'd like to add. And you're still gonna try to shame the daughters? No, it doesn't work. So then she's like, well, I don't question why you're only posting them being outstanding girls. She's not posting about your kids being shitheads. What are you talking about? Like what correlation are you making here?

It doesn't even make any sense. It's thirsty. So Giselle's like, well, if they want to give other views of whatever's going on in their life, they have social media and they can do that. Which by the way, great response by Giselle. Giselle is not falling for this like someone else would have fallen for it, but Gisele is not falling for it.

No, Gisele's like, I'm not going to give this to this lame ass. So then Karen goes, well, the stress of juggling a pimp village has really gone to me as head. Children are off limits. The stress of juggling a pimp village. I mean, that just sums it up. Oh my God. So then Mia, of course, is going to use mental health again. And she's like, this is real sensitive and I'm dealing with someone with use mental health again and she's like this is real sense of them And I'm dealing with someone with a mental health issue literally every morning

I wake up and I'm like, I don't even know what page is on so be better Currently Gordon is in mania everyone and I know that she's probably going through a lot because she's becoming becoming an empty nester she's probably going through a lot because she's becoming an empty nester. The motherhood is really hard and it evolves and it changes and sometimes park overall is involved and so is Kristy McNichol and you just have to be okay with being an empty nester. And so, who are you to tell me who I am as a mother when you're not even living your authentic life? At least I'm keeping it real over here, okay?

You're not keeping it real. You're constantly lying and making shit up. Oh my God. So she's like, well, I'm just gonna remind you every now and again, I'm gonna call you on your shit. And she's like, well, I'm actually just taking it all in because after it's all in, then I will react. Ah!

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Gisele's like, oh, I'm not gonna yell at you right now, but I will figure out how to ruin your life. Yes. And that for the rest of the episode, for the rest of the season. And then we get a coming this season on Real Housewives of Potomac. And let's just say it ends in dog shit everywhere and someone barking.

So it's a wild ending to that midseason trailer. Very Dallas, Real Housewives of Dallas, I feel like at the end. Oh yeah. It's a wild ending to that mid-season trailer. It's very Dallas. Real House was a Dallas, I feel like, at the end. But yeah, good times. Pimp Village, that's amazing. Thank you all for being here. Again, keep an eye out for ticket links to come up tomorrow. They'll be, I think, at 10 a.m. local for whatever market you're in.

The tickets will be up for the presale sale and then everything goes on sale on Wednesday. So thanks, everyone, for for listening. And we'll hope to see you at one of our live shows. And bye. Bye. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!

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