Watch What Crappens - #2642 RHOBH S1403 Part One: Taking OceanSides

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recap!The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills hit the beach for a rough and tumble game of Duck Duck Goose before Dorit and Kyle have it out in front of the girls.... Jennifer Tilly turns out to be rich rich, Mau comes back for an awkward visit, and Kathy Hilton puts her own head on a stick. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. You can now gift Patreon to friends and family. And is there a better gift than these faces? https://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens/gift Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens! Hi Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, enjoying London over there. I can see it through the window. I see a bar. Yes. The top of the building. Yes, that is like a workspace over there or some sort of office building.
Starting point is 00:00:53 So occasionally you might see a person walk by. I opened the windows, that way people who are watching on Crappas on Demand have a beautiful view of people milling about. Maybe people named Millie were milling about. But, yes. Possibly, lots of Millies and Jemmas over there. Yeah, and Polly's and Ella's, it's great.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Well, welcome to the show today, everybody. Our tickets for the Mountain Hysteria Tour have gone on sale. That's this year's tour. We haven't toured for a couple years, so we're excited to be back out on the road. We are starting in January, so tickets are up now. Go get them.
Starting point is 00:01:26 You can find links at our website, watchitcrapins.com. That includes the Crappy Awards, which are gonna be on Broadway this year in New York City. So get your tickets for that. That's February 1st. That's gonna be so much fun. You know, we love a good old Broadway show now, come on. It's gonna be amazing.
Starting point is 00:01:43 We can't tell you what our theme is, but it's gonna be good. And then, what else? Also, Patreon, that's where you get videos, bonuses. We are going to start recapping, Sold on SLC, the new show that airs right after the other Salt Lake City Housewives show. It looks cheesy and amazing and perfect
Starting point is 00:02:03 for our Patreon bonus episodes. If you want those, go check that out. And I think that's it. What else do you have to say, Bean? Nothing else. I'm just excited. I can't wait to get back on the road. Yeah, there you go. Me too. Okay. Although I have to say, I need to really get the energy back up because I'm not used to doing that. Let me tell you something that anymore. I need to get into road shape because I like between London and Thanksgiving. Like this is bad news over here. It's I took a soul cycle class today. I was like, I need to do something I
Starting point is 00:02:40 still need to counteract that sausage roll I had earlier in this week. So I took a soul cycle class and that was wild. That was like a British soul cycle class, which was fun. And they were very nice in there. Believe in yourself, Gemma. Believe in yourself, girl. You may be pasty, but you're thin. Keep biking, Gemma, keep biking. The poor girl next to me did not understand her bike. She's like, how do I move the handlebars? Can you show me? And I was like, yeah, you just do this.
Starting point is 00:03:11 And she's like, oh, thank you. What about the seat? I was like, you do this. She's like, oh, thank you so much. Oh, I'm sorry, one last question. What about the handlebars? I'm like, I just showed you that, Gemma. But it was great.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Are there cars around here? Do we have to do this bike is absolutely exhausting. Yeah. But anyway, so here we are with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This episode is called life's a beach. And here we are. Okay, so this is my cell. Garcelle is in the foot photography studio because her son is becoming a model.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Jade just signed with LA Models. And she's like, that's a big deal. And obviously we need professional photos and I just couldn't have assembled a better team. So it's perfect. And one of the assistants is like, this is gonna be amazing. It's gonna be amazing.
Starting point is 00:04:04 I'm trying to open up this... Jesus, this London water bottle does not open up. I'm going nuts over here. This is a tough day. Have some manners, Ben. Ask it please open. Would you mind opening? Please. Please. I'm sat here trying to open this water bottle on a live podcast. People are listening. The last thing they need is to see me straining my face.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Okay, you know what? I'm not opening this bottle. I will not be drinking water. Yeah, he's gonna- Puncture with your teeth and just squirt some into your mouth. I'm like so mad at that water bottle. Come on, you're an American. Don't be such a wuss.
Starting point is 00:04:33 I'm sweating. I am sweating. Hold an American tea. Well, that's like here, I give the American the trick water that doesn't open. Revenge is best served closed. That's what you get for the revolution. Revenge is best served quenched. Gemma! Gemma, what did you do this for? What did you do this for? I literally cannot open it.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Okay, so then we go to Erika's house and there's a duck in her pool and she's happy with it. It's like she's basically decided, I'm not gonna swim in my pool. It's going to be a duck pond, and that's cool. And so she's basically talking to it. And she's like, hey there, slut duck. I'm getting my car today. I don't give a fuck. Do you give a fuck, duck? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Go fuck a duck, am I right? Okay, yeah, all right, I'm talking to a duck. That's my life. This is what my life is lately. I mean, she's talking to a delusional animal that's swimming in a pool as a tom, which makes sense because she gets a Porsche delivered and I think she's still got million dollar lawsuits against her. Talk about not giving a fuck. She literally does not. So I have a Porsche. It's a special. It's made with victim bones of Tom's victims. It's
Starting point is 00:05:43 lovely. The steering wheel is made out of Marco Marco face leather. We've just stripped Marco Marco of their face and turned into a steering wheel, baby. So she gets her Porsche and she's blown away. And so is anybody who can't get credit. Yes. And then we go over to Anita Gelato in Tarzana. I would hang out with her in a second and I'd be like, you know what, you're my second best friend. I really like Betsy ice cream. That's the ice cream. She doesn't have any wordplay, but she just gets to the point. She doesn't need to be like spicy. She's just delicious.
Starting point is 00:06:24 That's the ice cream. Yeah, Anita Gelato. Also, of course, she's in Tarzana. Like if it was like, Oh, I need a gelato and recita or I need a gelato in Santa Monica. I'd like no, but I need a gelato in Tarzana. Absolutely. Yeah, it's like matches. It works. Yeah. And I get that it's supposed to sound like I needed gelato. But to me, it just sounds like begging, like you're passing this place and you say that a needed gelato. It should make you go Oh, I do need a gelato. But instead, I'm like, Oh, you need a gelato. Well, stop fucking asking me get a job. No, I'm like, throwing a diet coke
Starting point is 00:06:59 candidate said I need a gelato. For all your snacking needs, I need a gelato. Somewhere Rob is quaking in his boots. So then Kyle and Portia are sitting outside talking about Mauricio over a needed gelato. And Kyle's doing the thing this season where she's like, Oh, my goodness, I love you dad, but I won't admit it. Carl's got some weird like romance thing going on with Mo. I know they were together forever, blah, blah, blah. But I'm talking about the
Starting point is 00:07:33 manipulation part of the audience. I'm not really sure what she's going for. Do you think that she was with Morgan and then Morgan dumped her and now she's sad that she dumped Mauricio? What's going on over there? I can't tell. I mean, that could be. There's a little bit of that vibe, but yeah, it is hard to tell. I think that Kyle just likes to have it all. I think she wants it. She, she, yeah, I think that she like both wants her independence, but then she also sees Mauricio having a thirst trap moment and living his best life and she wants Mauricio too. And I think Kyle just treats everything the way she treats any bauble that she sees as we see later in this episode. She's just like, what? You have that? You have that?
Starting point is 00:08:16 I have that. I have that too. What? I want that. You know, that's just Kyle. She wants what she can't have. She's holding on somebody else's arm and then suddenly it's worth more maybe I don't know I don't know what it is But she does she's definitely got the hee hee hee. It's Mauricio today, which is weird so I'm listen, you know, I mean That's gonna say I'm like listen and then I'm like I need a gelato myself. Actually, I don't know what I'm talking about Okay, so they're talking about Mo going to Europe.
Starting point is 00:08:45 And she's like, I'm just like curious when this girl strip is gonna be, like is he going with people? Am I gonna be nosy if I ask him? I mean, I'm not the girl strip, the Mauricio strip. Like what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? What's he doing?
Starting point is 00:08:57 Am I nosy? Like I really care. And Porsche is like, if he was gonna go by himself, I think he was going by himself, but maybe he just made that up. Like, I don't know. She's like, well, he's not gonna go love. I mean, I can tell you right now he's not gonna go alone. I needed gelato. Anybody busy this weekend? That's the ice cream anybody?
Starting point is 00:09:16 Now, I'm not a parent. So I don't know. I've never been in this situation. But I kind of feel like Kyle shouldn't be asking her daughter these questions. Right? It's kind of like she's trying to like She's like getting an info on Mauricio through the daughter. I don't know. Of course. Well, why else do you have fucking kids? You know, I don't like these lines. Everybody's drawing this season on what's appropriate around children You shouldn't fight you shouldn't talk about your children your friends in front of your children You shouldn't do this around your children. What do we children? Listen children are little sponges
Starting point is 00:09:44 They need to learn how to deal with bitches the same way the rest of us do. You need to talk about your friends, the people who are bothering you around your children. You need to talk about what a shithead your father is around your children. Stop protecting your children from everything. I say just stop.
Starting point is 00:09:57 The kids know anyway, if they're listening 80% of the time to you, and they're gonna hear this shit anyway, like stop living some fake ass life, you know? Let your kids know that you're a loser right up front So they're not all shocked like the rest of us were when we're 30, you know, we're like, oh my god Our parents are real people disgusting. Just admit it now. Well, I just think yeah I'm down for like Katie talking shit in front of her kids on OC, but I just kind of feel like It's just funny to me Kyle saying that her divorce from
Starting point is 00:10:25 Reese's could be different, it's gonna go well, but I guarantee like if you're starting to like mine for information through your children, it's gonna go sour. I just see it going sour. But I say that as someone who has never been married. That's how you get the news. It's like turning on CNN. How else are you supposed to get the news about your ex? You know, you ask your kids, who's your dad dating? Is she ugly? Is she a bitch? Does she ever bother to make you breakfast? Does she pay attention to you? Does she like you? Why did your dad dye his hair? Who told him to dye his hair that color? Like, it's very important, you know, communication. Listen, before we can even talk about the hair, I'm still getting over the new
Starting point is 00:11:00 cheat from last season. Okay, I'm still, I still have not adapted. So I can't even I can't even approach the hair yet. I mean, that's not for me. I'm from why are we disagreeing so much today? I'm for new teeth too. We live in LA. What are you supposed to do? We're like, we're supposed to be Mr. Potato heads, you know, you don't like your teeth, get them off, get some new ones on there. I am all for new teeth. I don't know if I'm all for like piano keys, but that's okay. Yeah. Like.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Well, that's true. I know what you're saying. It's just like, whoa. Like the Vanderpump, the new Vanderpump teeth are a lot. Yeah. It looks like an ancient Roman army coming towards us with their shields.
Starting point is 00:11:37 So. Oh, I just saw that yesterday, that gladiator movie. Oh yeah? How was it? That is like wicked for boys. Oh my God. Right when the lights went down, I went
Starting point is 00:11:50 it was like literally the same movie. But for boys, you know, just a lot of heads chopped off and stuff like that. But it was still the same basic thing. It was like, find your destiny. And at the end, he's like, I'm finding my dad's funny. Defying rabbit toss. Yeah. And so Washington's like popular. You want to be popular? No good deed goes unpunished. So anywho, the point is this. No matter what, where we land on this really inessential argument about Kyle, Portia doesn't give a fuck. She's not even listening to Kyle in the first place.
Starting point is 00:12:31 She is 16. It's really weird. She has a short hang off of her shoulder. She's like, whatever, mom, let me just have my Andean gelato. And it's great that she's entered the phase of being totally indifferent to anything Kyle says. Yeah, I think she entered that in COVID. Because remember after the pandemic, she came back and she was like all in black. And Kyle was like, she has social anxiety now. Because the pandemic made kids more awkward because they missed a lot of years being around other kids. Like they missed a lot of socialization, whatever. And so it like kind of changed that generation for for good. I think like it kind of stained them. Oh, I don't know stains. Well, but to be fair, the scar them. The only reason I started not staying.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I think I think the only reason why Portia was wearing black is because Kyle thought her clothes were pieces of salmon and she tried to cook them all. And you know, still working at it. So we're kind of that, that temp for her cookbook. So then we go to Kathy's house and Kathy's with her brand manager, Carol. Is this the woman did we finally figure out who the woman is or the lady? Is it Carol? No, no, the lady said,
Starting point is 00:13:42 a lot of the maids, I think, you know, we've seen Carol before on here. We've seen her. I'm sorry, Carol. Yeah, you don't remember Carol. I love Carol because she's always like in someone's hand me down. Dress. It looks like she's in fancy clothes. But it looks like I don't know. Kyle's maybe cause like, can I borrow Carol today to take some stuff to Goodwill? And Carol's like, I am good well, just here to pick up some stuff. Yeah, Carol, sweet Carol. She really just, she is just doing everything for everyone this episode. So Kathy is with Carol. And Kathy, she Carol's helping Kathy pack up suitcases like a whole bunch of them. And it turns out that Kathy is planning
Starting point is 00:14:27 a weekend getaway for the group in Oceanside, California. And she's like, Well, I know that Kyle and Dorita are having a tough time. So I really thought a getaway would be a good distraction for them, or at least a chance for me to hawk a new product without Kyle fucking it up like she did with my tequila, okay? Is this the same place they went to last year with Cathy? Didn't Cathy take them to Oceanside last year too? We were trying to figure out if that was a Hilton place or whatever.
Starting point is 00:14:57 She took them one year, last year or the year before. So anyway, yeah, she's really trying to plug this place. She's like, you know what I'm going for? Oceanside this year. Again, we're gonna make Oceanside pop. We're gonna make Oceanside pop. So, Kathy's like, I got chips and bananas. Which, I don't know why that made me laugh.
Starting point is 00:15:18 I just like that kind of boat. That's what we need. That's what we need to deliver guests. Chips and bananas. And Carol's like, well, as long as you got chips and bananas, we're set, I guess. Fucking idiot. Does anyone mind if we hit up and eat a gelato
Starting point is 00:15:31 before we hit the road? No? Can we do that? Carol, come on, get your head in the game. So Cathy is like, you know, I want to do something extra special, so I'm inviting the girls with invitations inside personalized suitcases, which is really hilarious. Also,
Starting point is 00:15:47 that is an expensive invitation. You know, we see lots of stuff where like the invitations on Bravo where Butler shows up and gives people a box with like butterflies come out and everything. I guarantee you none of those cost as much as those suitcases. No, but you know, like you're super rich, so it doesn't really matter. I want something meaningful. Like I want her to show up with a suitcase and be like, Ronnie, you know, I really thought about probably what you ultimately need to make you happy. And then I opened it up and it's a child. I'm like, oh my God, I didn't even know I should be a parent.
Starting point is 00:16:17 She's like, I believe in you. I mean, that's a trip right there. Yeah. And then you ask the child, what's your father doing? Is he in Europe right now? I would. I would 100%. I'd be like, who's your birth father? What's he like? Have you spoken to Ben? What's he doing?
Starting point is 00:16:37 So we see 32 minutes earlier, organizing suitcases. So there's bucket hats, cause Kathy's like, oh, people liked my bucket hat, that'll be my thing now. Bucket hats and ocean side. So she's got Red Bulls and gift bags and self tanner and all sorts of shit in there. Yeah, so they're organizing it all and everything. And so now they're going to go drive these
Starting point is 00:17:09 suitcases, which I'm surprised they fit them all into the trunk of this like, it was a vintage, was that a vintage Rolls Royce that she was driving? She's basically she's like a Rolls Royce convertible. I don't even know what the new I don't even know the logo for those new ionic cars. I'm like, what is that? When did that come here? Understand cars? Where did they all come from? What happened to Ford? What happened to a good reliable Ford Taurus? There's so many new cars on the road. I don't even know what they are. There's like a Rivian thing that's like an electric truck, which I don't understand. I can't cyber truck. I can't look at the Rivian. You don't like the Rivian?
Starting point is 00:17:44 I'm not totally if it's fine Ionic. The Rivian is not. You don't like the Rivian? I'm not totally, it's fine actually, but like every time I see its headlights it looks like crab eyes. You ever see crab eyes? Yeah. They stick up like this over, they're adorable. I think crab eyes are adorable on crabs because I actually think crabs are really funny and cute.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I think it's a sexy car but it's so funny because it's like a big pickup truck kind of thing and then you look inside and it's like a white dude in a cardigan. Like, wait a minute. Oh, it is. Oh, it is. What are you doing? What are you doing in there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:13 But at least people who drive Rivians don't park over like three parking spots like all the Cybertruck drivers do. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. It's time for a Crappins commercial. Hello ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with his The Grinch Holiday Podcast.
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Starting point is 00:19:12 Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple podcasts. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Listen to the Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So let's see what else. Yeah, she and Carol are gonna go drive bring these suitcases across Los Angeles. Carol's doing assignments across like Kathy Hilton driving herself. Oh, Jesus Christ. I don't get paid enough for the You don't get paid enough. I'll give you a raise. How's $5?
Starting point is 00:20:03 Um, how's $500,000. Sounds great, whatever. Yeah. I don't know what money is. Mohammed, the chief of staff, I mean, this is just a rich lady right here. Like they have to put all the pillows, these specific pillows in for Cathy
Starting point is 00:20:19 so that way she's comfortable when she drives. And that is just wealth right there, just wealth. You just have someone to put a pillow in for you. Also how she eats a banana is very wealthy. Like she opens the banana and then she takes a bite of it and then she turns it upside down. Yeah. But she just put that banana slime first onto the Rolls Royce seat. What was that about? She doesn't even give a shit. She had to like she was hanging up a phone. It's a
Starting point is 00:20:41 banana. I was like, Are you stamping letters? Like, what are you doing? Was that Carol's knee? Did you put it on Carol's knee? Like, damn, I called just gave me this. So they are driving. So they go to Bose's place first. And so funny because Kathy goes, we're going to Bose's first, which is in Hancock Park and Carol's like I love Hancock Park and said oh yeah Hancock Park is so beautiful. Am I supposed to know what Hancock Park is? Kathy's never been to Hancock Park and you know cuz
Starting point is 00:21:17 she just keeps like complimenting Hancock Park like she's so shocked she's like look there's streets here this is great so I figured this would be a dirt road, but it's not. So that's good. This house is not made out of cardboard here. Are we in a different city? You know, it's so nice to put up nice light pole posts around this shanty town here because you know, it all looks like shacks to her. So and then she's like, Okay, wait, everyone. Oh, wait, Carol, be quiet for a moment. I'm going to pray. She starts praying. She starts praying in the car, but like silently, but she's moving her lips.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Yeah. I'm going to pray now. I would love to hear what that prayer is. I know. Dear God, please, please grab me the strength to go into this poor, poor neighborhood. Please don't let anyone attack me. So yeah, she's doing the, which is how my grandma used to pray. She did the tongues like, but then when she prayed loudly, she'd be like, why is it a
Starting point is 00:22:22 different language when you whisper? There's not like multiple tongue language. Like a tongue lane, you know, a tongue's lane. So then Kathy is like, wow, it's just so quiet here. There's aren't there factories and Coca-Cola's being made or I don't know. And Carol's like, oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:22:40 the roads are real beautiful here, aren't they? Wow, roads, flat roads, this is insane. She's like, oh, are real beautiful here and damn wow roads flat roads. This is insane. It's beautiful so then they go to Bose's door and Nico the assistant comes to get her and he's like, oh Hello Hello poor person, um, I don't have my wallet on me So if you want to mug someone, you can go mug Carol. The Lord knows she hasn't gotten attention from a man in a while, right,
Starting point is 00:23:10 Carol?" He's like, um, I work here. Carol, have you seen this? Assistance here just show one shoulder. Hilarious. So cute. You are very cute. All right. Hello, officer. Yes, this is Kathy Hilton. I'm being robbed by someone with an off-the-shoulder look That's actually quite chic. I'm very impressed with the Hancock Park robbers He's like I'm Nico nice to meet you. It's like nice to meet you, too now, please Back away or Carol will stun you
Starting point is 00:23:43 She's carrying pepper spray. Oh Carol, you just brought a red bell pepper. That's not helpful. He's like, hold on, I'm gonna get my gun. Watch out, buddy. That's a banana, Kathy. Do you just want to come in and see Bo's? Carol, throw the pepper at him. It's the least we could do. So Bose is like, Wow, you're here at my house. What a lovely surprise. Kathy Hilton's here. How lovely. He's like, Oh, well, you are a vision. Thank you. Thank you. I invented visions. Come on in. So Kathy comes in and she's like,
Starting point is 00:24:22 so she's like, you're just like here. Like, what is Kathy Hilton doing at my front door with a pleated bucket hat and a suitcase? So we're going on a weekend getaway. And so they're very excited. And she has to read the card to know. And so Bose is like, this is some Beverly Hills stuff going on here, right? Like, who delivers an invitation in the form of a suitcase that's already packed? Where am I supposed to go? What a wacky invitation.
Starting point is 00:24:53 What a crazy time. Are the cameras here? What are the cameras doing here? Our lady is gonna fight? This is crazy. I was the first person to bring a suitcase into Netflix in the first place. Before then, it was all briefcases. After me, it was all the way luggage. So then, Kathy then moves on to the
Starting point is 00:25:14 next place. So, well, now Boz is basically looking at the invitation with Nico and she's like, hmm, calling all beach babes, join me for a beach bonding girl trip at Mission Pacific Resort where laughter, friendship and unforgettable memories await. All right. Okay. She's like, you know, she's like, you know, I work in marketing. This is not great. She could do better. I need a shorter log line. I'm not going to. So Niko's like, okay, let's go through this. She's like, a red bow, wow. And look at this.
Starting point is 00:25:48 And there's a monogrammed beach towel. And he's like, that's cute. Adorable. Cute. It's adorable, I said. It's very cute. Throw it away. I'll throw it away. It's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Get rid of it. You know Niko's like, can I keep this? So I can tell my friends I have a towel from Kathy. No, Barnett. So then Carol and Kathy continue their wacky delivery adventure. And Carol's like, okay, next up is Car- Garcelle. She's doing a photo shoot with her son.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Kathy's like, oh, okay, that's now here, I think. Are we in Pakistan? Where is this place? I've never seen anything like, is that a building on fire? It's a streetlight, it's a streetlight, Kathy. All right, we'll get the bulletproof banana. Let's go in. So they go into Issue Studio and Jade is posing and he really is like a model.
Starting point is 00:26:44 I was like, wow. And Garcelle's like, oh, what are the things I'm excited about Jade starting to model is because he's definitely shyer than the three of us. And I'm hoping that being in front of the camera, meeting new people, will help him come out of his shell a little bit more. I don't know how that's really gonna work. I feel like if you're shy, like being thrust down a runway, is that gonna help? I mean, he's he's gorgeous. He should be a model. I kind of feel like if he needs to come out of his shell, like get him a job at Hertz or something. Yeah, that could be some time at the hamburger. What's the one that you dress in Hawaiian shirts? It's like hula hut. Is it hula islands? Oh, islands. Yeah, he needs a job at islands. He needs to like learn how to come to a table and be
Starting point is 00:27:26 like, Aloha. Yeah, exactly. How they hang in a day. He needs to let me tell you something. So the other night I went to Wagamama, which is like a chain here. And the waiter when taking our order, what you have to there's a big menu. And all the dishes are they have number codes. So you don't just order like the noodles or whatever you order number 71. And so every time you say a number, the waiter sat down at the table and started writing a number on our little paper paper placemats. He's like, uh huh. Okay. And what do you, what would you like? Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:00 And I'll be like, and can I also get a dieto? Because like the number, please. And I was like, looking at the menu, I'll have the 181. And he writes it down on the paper. I was like, could you stop sitting at our table, please? But that'd be a perfect job for Jane. Yeah, that's how you learn, you know. So he's like, oh, hi, Kathy. What? Kathy Hilton here in a studio. This is absolute. What are you in a role? Oh, my God. Look at the car.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Look at Jane. He's a model now. That's the word is he modeling for trash bags? Because that is a trash bag. The man is wearing a trash bag. He is wearing a trash bag. I don't understand fashion. Fashion gays are just fucking with people. That is the ultimate in getting bullied your whole life.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Is just forcing people to pay you thousands of dollars to wear trash bags. And you know they go home like, that bitch bullied me in high school. Now look at her. Literal trash bag. Yeah. Fashion gays are always pulling some bullshit on us. I'll tell you that much. They know. They know. They're like, let's... literal trash bag. Yeah, fashion guys are always pulling some simple shit on us. I'll tell you that much. They know. They know. They're like,
Starting point is 00:29:08 let's, yeah, I just feel like every, every time they go home and like, can you believe we actually convince someone to wear that? We actually made them think that look good. God, we're so good at this. Yeah, exactly. So, um, let's see that, you know, she gets her the invite and it's wacky. And then, um, now Garcelle does do, by the way, Garcelle does do a classic Garcelle. What? As in she goes, when she goes outside and sees the car, Garcelle gives a good old fashion wall, which was great. Oh, what? Yeah. wow. No, she did just a what this time, not a wow.
Starting point is 00:29:46 I'm sure there was a wow that was cut because they usually go part and parcel. And so then let's see, Kathy's like, isn't that hysterical? And she's like, are you driving this Kathy hill my cat with you? Ha ha ha ha ha. And she's got
Starting point is 00:30:05 pillows. She could have sent an e-vite. She could have sent a messenger but no, Cathy did it herself. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. So then Garcelle is now we go sorry Cathy now goes off to Dorit's house. And she enters in and treats like Winnie Winnie please don't bark when Cathy gets here. Don't bark. And Winnie's like, oh, it's Winnie. Stop that. So Cathy comes in and she gives another invitation and Dorit is very, very happy about it.
Starting point is 00:30:40 She's like, hello, darling. And Phoenix is like, hi. How are you doing, Jagger? I'm Phoenix. Never heard of you. Is this one new? I heard you barking. That was the dog, Kathy. I'm pretty sure it was your pretty sure it was Jagger.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Phoenix. So she passes the suitcase and of course, Dorit's gonna take the longest because it's Dorit, you know, so she's like, Oh, look at here, not Jagger. It feels heavy. It feels like there's something in here. Look at all these goodies inside. Oh, look at the toll! Ah! Ow! Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! She does do the noise.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Ow! I almost recorded it. I was like, what is wrong? Why can't I, I need to warm up a fully. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Starting point is 00:31:38 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! It's hot! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Wow. Wow. It's a hat. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. There, there's a little bit. Ah.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Ah. Ah. Young ladies. Ah. Ah. Ah. So. Look at this, is this a hat?
Starting point is 00:31:59 Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. That is like, you know what I love? Is that a kid's at height, you know? The hat has its own height, I love that. You know what else I love?
Starting point is 00:32:10 You can just pack it, you don't have to ruin it. It goes great with tequila, specifically my tequila. God, I love hats and tequila. It's very big in the south of France. Oh! So, Dorit puts on the hat and does her catwalk strut. And she's like, I love it. Kitty chooses a very Chanel inspired hat to give me. I love it because it really does go with my Chanel beading suits.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Got to later in the episode when Dorit is fully wearing a bucket hat on the beach that's not Cathy's. I was like, really? That's bold. Sitting here talking about a magic bathing suit. Talk about she! Yeah. So, Kathy's like, okay, well, think beach, think bright, think fun. Okay, well thank you, Kathy. Goodbye, sweetheart, love you. Love you, Kathy.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Would you like to hear what BK said? No, not really. Well, I'm very hurt by your sister. Not really interested. So then Kathy drives up to Kyle's house and Kyle's in her kitchen and she's like, what the hell is that? Kyle has no idea what to do with people that come driving up her driveway.
Starting point is 00:33:29 That's something that we discovered last week when they had the prank and she spent like 10 minutes wrangling her dog just to open up the gate and forgot that there was a quote unquote Amazon driver out there. And now something's just full on driving up and she doesn't even understand like who it is or what it is so she's just a disaster yeah and so she's like oh my god absolutely not no when she sees Kathy in the big car with the gifts and Kathy's like oh my god thank God back here in Wisconsin at least it's a small town I can understand cause like um why is this looking like some old TV show? And why have I not been cast in it? I was going to say come on ABC in 1984. Okay, so like what is happening?
Starting point is 00:34:13 So she gets the invite or the suitcase and Kathy's like, we're delivering invitations. I've got a banana on Carol's thigh in the in the car. You want some? What are you Beverly Hillbillies? And what is that on Kathy's head? I just don't know what's going on with Kathy. And Carol's like, Kyle, I'm starving. Can I just raid your refrigerator? Jesus Christ. You wouldn't know, having banana peels thrown at your head for an hour and a half really makes a girl hungry. Am I right? Jesus Christ. Do you have any leggings I could borrow or keep? That would be great. Anything for goodwill? Mauricio left you right? Are there any male shirts? I'll take Apollo. I really don't care. I really need a map. It's just anything, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Hey Kyle, what's the deal with all this beef jerky in your fridge? Oh, that's just a salmon I made last night. Oh. So then Kyle's like, she's like, Cathy, you look like a whole lamp. And Cathy's like, well, I am a lampshade. I don't look good in just every hat. You know, this is just the way I like it. You know, and Kyle's like, Yeah, no, the lampshade. It's a good look on you. Kyle, clearly, you know, clearly they had a deal where Kathy was like, Okay, I'll come back on your show. But you have to let me promote whatever I want to promote without undermining me this time Kyle." She's like, I'm Kathy. So she sees a little plate on her coffee table. She's like, what a beautiful print, Kyle. Is that a new print, Kyle? Wow. Kyle's like, isn't it pretty? I'm, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:41 I'm actually looking for wallpaper now. I'm just redoing everything as a distraction. You know, I like doing things. You know, when I when I have things in my mind, it's a distraction for me, which totally got I'm not laughing at that. And then Kyle goes, you know, I'm still here in our family home. And Mo has moved on to a bachelor pad. And it's this is sort of like my way of making it my own and feel like, you know, I have a little bit of a fresh start even if it's minimal. It's something I'm like, oh, you bought a coaster. Relax. It's just like well she's painting the whole office. She's gonna
Starting point is 00:36:07 redo most whole office. I know but at this point, she's gonna be like, he's making this too permanent. You're redoing his office. I just laughed that she like bought like a little coaster like a tiny little tray that a remote fits on. She goes, I know it's small but it's like a fresh start. Making my own. She's like, I found a thimble. Making this on my own.
Starting point is 00:36:33 So Kathy's like, well, you know, we all need fun and laughs, you know, some fun and games. And so, I was like, oh my God, I just hope it's not gonna be weird to read because like, you know, I was the one that was feeling hurt and now she's turned around, she's because like, you know, I was the one that was feeling hurt now She's turned around. She's turned that around. No She was the one who was feeling hurt because you ditched her and you're the one turning it around and now like she's saying
Starting point is 00:36:53 I don't do all these things, but she doesn't have anything solid You're saying she does all these things, but you don't have anything solid. She's actually got something solid. She ditched her Yeah thing solid. She's actually got something solid. She ditched her. Yeah, she has you on Amazon live saying that Dorit exaggerated your friendship and you guys have got dinner once in like seven years. That's pretty solid. That's a solid place. Yeah. She says just some people who want to see the worst in you like what is she like reviewers on IMDB? What is she top brass at the Paramount Network when it came time to
Starting point is 00:37:27 renew American girl? American the other one. What's the other one? Michael Myers. Another one. No, no, Mike Myers was renewed. I mean, that'll be renewed. He wants to see the worst of you. Yeah. Mike Myers. It's like Mike Myers just wants to see the worst of you. She calls Mike Myers, like Mike Myers just wants to see the worst of you. She calls him like Myers because they work together. Like, like, you know, Mike.
Starting point is 00:37:52 So then you she's Kathy's like, Well, you know, some things wouldn't have bothered her three years ago, but Doree was trying to break the ice and be funny. But you know, Kyle is sensitive. So she took it the wrong way. I'm being nice to Kyle right now so I'm gonna kind of be on her side listen I don't want it to be weird when I'm there I just want to go and have fun otherwise what's the point of me going okay I have enough on my plate right now I don't want it to be weird although I will bring it up at dinner so Kathy's like well maybe you know maybe it becomes a better friendship. And maybe, you know, because this happened to be, uh, maybe, maybe because this happened, you'll be able to really help her.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Like that's what Kyle wants to really help Duree. Yeah. Hey, send PK a text while you're bored, Kyle. So she's like, yeah, well, we're going to go on a trip and pretend everything's great. And we're just going to relax and have massages. And it doesn't matter that Duree and I are ready to kill each other. Welcome to Kathy's crazy holidays hunky-dory holidays Yeah, well you need to talk alone and we look forward to a new chapter We're gonna see what's in store and when you do have that vibe, please be sure to be wearing my bucket hats
Starting point is 00:39:01 Thanks so much, Kyle Now we have a Kyle at home scene the next day be sure to be wearing my bucket hats. Thanks so much, Kyle. Living the good life, living the good life. Now we have a Kyle at home scene the next day. Framed photos of Mauricio and Kyle kissing, Mauricio with the kids, Mauricio going down on the Dancing with the Stars ballroom. Wait a minute. How'd that get in there? I read in a comment on Reddit, love you Reddit, last week that when they leave Dancing with the Stars, they are given a picture of them with their ballroom partner, like their professional partner or whatever. And so they were like, so do you think he just put that in his office? Because like, that's where you would put it. And then Kyle's like, oh my god, he has a picture of the ballroom dancer in his office.
Starting point is 00:39:45 When it was just like a benign like, Hey, congratulations, you were on Dancing with the Stars. It's a parting gift. Yeah, because the gift, we see this picture at some point, it's not them like being lovey dovey, it's just them standing next to each other like, Hi, here at Generic Dancing with the Stars smiles. Yeah, by the way, congrats to the producers of dance with the stars for repeatedly bringing on cause nemesis on to dance with the stars because Lisa Vanderpump was on there and then Kyle member had a viewing party to watch her faint on TV And now Mauricio, so I love that. I love that. They are like going after Kyle Richards through their casting choices They're a Vanderpump fan, whoever it is.
Starting point is 00:40:27 They're like, next Carlton Gemma. Dancing with the stars. Commercials, here comes one right now. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondry Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants and real estate estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. And soon,
Starting point is 00:41:10 investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today. So Kyle adjusts the thermostat on the wall and is like, Portia, I just turned on the oven. Mother, that's not the oven. So then Mauricio comes in and oh, hey Kyle, hey, what's going on? How are you? What's going on? She's like, guys. Hey, what's going on? How are you? What's going on? She's like, oh, hey, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:41:48 So they sit down and everything and they're like, you know, being like, cool. They're like divorcing, but they're like civil and like best friends still. So like there's like no tension. Everything's like totally normal guys. And this is where she's a little bit like, I mean, I was hoping you'd come in the other door so you could see how organized everything is. But whatever. OK, well, OK. Oh, oh you could see how organized everything is, but whatever. Okay. Well, okay Oh, oh, he's like, oh you painted the bathroom. She goes. Yeah, do you like it? He's like, I love it you do
Starting point is 00:42:12 You do are you sure? Are you sure you don't know what she's doing in this? She's like, I'm so fucking stoned. I Can't tell what color it is right now I think he looks extremely confused by Kyle because you remember last season when he kept having those scenes and she would like, we're shooting a scene in your office today, Mo about our love. And he'd be like, okay. And then they get to the office and she's like,
Starting point is 00:42:35 you're an asshole and I hate you. He's like, wait, what? And then he would just get this like look on his face. He'd scrunch his face like he was totally confused. Like, what are you talking about? Like, where is this coming from? And now she's being like overly, haha. I mean, look are you talking about? Like, where is this coming from? And now she's being like overly. I mean, look at me painting hundreds
Starting point is 00:42:48 can't believe I'm so nervous to be around Maurice now. And he's just looking at her in that same way. Like, what the fuck are you on about? What are you? What's going on? He's also has this look on his face like what was the color of this room before? He's like, I feel like I should know that. But I don't. Wasn't it always this color? So then she's like, yeah, I'm painting. And he's like, that's great. And it's nice, right? Yeah, it looks great. Don't you like, do you want to critique it maybe? Do you want to like maybe get on the bad side of the audience by being into my
Starting point is 00:43:17 paint job? No, I think it looks wonderful, Kyle. You're not really helping me. So you're supposed to be critical of me and everyone's supposed to understand why I made the choices that I made. No, it looks wonderful. God, you did a great job. So she's like, well, he seems really happy. I mean, he comes over, I show him something and he's like, I love the changes. So she's frustrated.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Give me something here. Give me something other than complete fucking confusion on your face. So she's holding patterns of wallpaper against the wall. And he's like, aha, love them. Love them both. You know, which is going to be the best one, whatever you choose, because you're a good chooser. Looks great. Looks great. So then they like, then they wind up like sitting down on the sofa. He takes off like his jacket. So it's like showing off his guns. His guns are popping. Like you see like the vein and everything. This guy's been working out. He's single now. You know, he's ready. So that was his little like, pun intended,
Starting point is 00:44:13 his little flex. Because she's like, Look, I painted the bathroom. So moving on. He's like, Yeah, well, I got biceps now. So anyway, whatever you want to say, it doesn't really matter. So anyway, whatever you want to say, it doesn't really matter. I have a biceps. I painted my biceps. Hehehe. We also got abs. You want to see them?
Starting point is 00:44:29 No. So she asked him if he wants to take Romeo, and he's like, no. And she's like, why wouldn't you? And she's like, OK, well, how's your condo? I mean, it's great. It's so awesome. You would love it. Everything's just like it's never been better.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Like, Mr. Happy-go-lucky. Well, this is what happens. You know what I'm getting? I'm kind of getting the impression from watching the scene. And I've read this theory before online, but I started to resonate with me as I was watching it, that I think she was probably breaking, she was doing that thing with him where she's like, we are breaking up, hoping that he would show her more attention and stuff, or be like, No,
Starting point is 00:45:05 don't do this. And then she just kept on it and was serious. And then he finally left. And now she's like, Oh, my God. I can't believe what the hell? What are you moving on for when she's told him to move on like definitely trying to get a reaction out of him. And he's just like, not doing it at all. And so she's like, you literally, you guys, you have like, no responsibilities over there. Like, and you're just free as a fucking breeze, aren't you? I'm like, well, I mean, he is running an enormous real estate company and that's fine and you're learning how to open up the second door of your french door so I guess it is pretty even you almost carried a chair out last week so you're right you are you do have a lot of responsibility at this house so she's like I mean I'm just like thinking about you in this condo
Starting point is 00:46:00 with no dog who wanted five dogs Kyle who was who was trying to build up a house of competition with Vanderpump location here I am in a house with five dogs one of them extremely fluffy that I call fluffy Romeo and a pink swing swans and mini goats God knows what she's back she just has a she has Canadian geese instead of swans She just has Canadian geese instead of swans. They're called kanky and kankle. So she's like, yeah, you in that condo. He's like, oh, you haven't been there yet. Yeah, you got to check it out.
Starting point is 00:46:32 It's like, great. You know, it's like a condo. You know, there's stuff. It's like a house, but like not a house instead. It's a condo. It's crazy. You can just like lock it and leave it. That's what they call it.
Starting point is 00:46:43 So. crazy. You can just like lock it and leave it. That's what they call it. So so then Kyle's like, Mo made the decision to sign a six month lease. And I think for Mo saying to give it six months made it like easy to transition from living here to like go into a new place. And then it also gives them us like time to assess where, where we're at. He's like, I'm gone. That's where I'm at. I'm gone. I'm in a fuck pad, begging everything that moves. So that's where I'm gone. That's where I'm at. I'm gone. I'm in a fuckpad, bagging everything that moves. So that's where I'm at. That's where I've assessed. He's like, oh my God, I hope I'm not bothering you with the smell of vagina that's on me.
Starting point is 00:47:11 I just couldn't get it off on my way in. Just literally hooked up outside your gates. You know, you have a lot of people waiting out there. There's a really hot Amazon lady. Well, I just want you to know, Mauricio, while you're busy in your non-responsibility condo, Marta, she watched, she walked in, she saw me, she saw me like packing things into your closet. I was hanging up my stuff in your closet because you're not there anymore. Marta started crying. He's like, aww, who's Marta?
Starting point is 00:47:39 She's like, you know, I think her name is Marta. Is it Sicily? Maybe it's Greta? She's like, you know, I think her name is Marta. Is it Sicily? Maybe it's Greta. I don't know. Well, whoever. There was a person, she was crying. She's crying for me, Mauricio. And then I said, you're not crying?
Starting point is 00:47:54 I'm crying. And I pushed her out of the way and turned on Amazon Live. It was actually a really good scene. I saw a lot of leggings that day. He's like, aw. So she's telling us, you live your life, I live my life. Maybe we'll reconvene in six months or so and see what happens. I mean, I don't know. He's like, okay, whatever you talk to Dorit and PK. She's like, oh, you
Starting point is 00:48:15 know, me and PK always say to each other, you know, funny memes and jokes and all that stuff. Me and PK, best friends. You know, me and PK, even though like, you know, we never hung out with Zureet and PK very much as a couple and like our friendship is like wildly over exaggerated, I still decided that I am friends enough with him to send him memes and jokes and stuff like that. So I'm both very good friends with him and not friends with him at all. Yes. So they start talking about PK's place because both of these husbands got divorced, you know,
Starting point is 00:48:45 got dumped. Well, did they both get dumped? I guess PK dumped Arete, right? PK dumped Arete. But the sober people got sober and then dumped their spouses. So the guys are just out there parting their faces off, living their best lives. And so they're talking about his place and Maria Ceo is like, yeah, it's perfect because he got a furnished place.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I mean, he doesn't have to do anything. I mean, now he doesn't only get to stiff people on rent, he also gets to stiff people on furniture rentals and that's a huge deal for him. You know, he really gets off on that. And boy, George is very excited that PK has a radiator. So Kyle is like, she's like, you know, I assumed that when Mo got this place that he was going to have it, he was going to have it staged because, you know, it assumed that when Moe got this place that he was going to have it, he was going to have it staged because, you know, it was supposed to be temporary, but he decided
Starting point is 00:49:29 to buy the furniture, which of course is more permanent. So then I thought, okay, well, it doesn't seem very temporary. I'm like, Kyle, first of all, you guys are wealthy. So like, it's sort of like with the Kathy Hilton thing, buying furniture is like nothing to Mauricio. He probably wanted that instead of staging and second of all yet is for me It's been permanent, right? I think it's been pretty obvious. Well, but also you're redoing you're moving into his closet and redoing his office So into the bathroom. Yeah, I think buying some furniture. I don't think that's much worse so then the producers like is there any part of you that hopes you guys will get back together? And she's like, I don't want to answer that right now. So yeah, I think this is gonna be their storyline, just getting back together.
Starting point is 00:50:13 I just don't buy it. I never do it. I never believe people will ever get divorced. What? She's like, are you asking me to be open and honest? Because as much as I demand that from every single other person on this show I unfortunately will have to not do that again for the audience. Yeah I'll have to decline that one. So then she's like yeah Portia said that you bought eight towels total and he's like is that not enough? I only use one towel. She's like well I mean I don't know how many eight and what kind of eight like how many face towels how many body towels and hand towels. I'm good I'm good with towels I'm a man there's one for my ass the same one for my face the same one for my ears
Starting point is 00:50:49 and then it goes back into my ass like what do you want to know I love that Porsche is delivering the most important news mother this is what I found out he bought eight towels she's like was there anyone sleeping at his place though I don't I don't know I only asked about the towels Porsche you need to ask better questions yeah she's I only asked about the towels. Portia, you need to ask better questions. Yeah, she's like, we can wash the towels. And she's like, I'll get you guys sheets because I know that there's like, you only bought one set of sheets, right? Because I just bought the most expensive ones. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Chief, Chief, Chief. And then Kyle is like, no, all of a sudden, I'm finding myself not being a wife. And if I'm not a wife and a full-time mom or even an actress, a working actress, well, I'm still that. Who am I kidding? But you know, not having to run around and do anything for everybody. What am I doing? What do I do? I live the life of service helping other people, including Cathy, Dorit, Mauricio, all my children
Starting point is 00:51:39 and most people in Beverly Hills. Now how do I help myself? I don't know what to do. Kyle acting like that. So Kyle. Oh God, what do I do if I'm not helping people? Leaves the husband and then it's like, why am I so bored? So then, and by the way, I'm not saying he didn't deserve it. I'm just saying we still don't know what he did. We still don't know. After all this goddamn time. I want to know. So then he's like, okay, well, I'm glad I got to see you.
Starting point is 00:52:06 So, oh, by the way, I just wanted to drop this off in my office, it's still my office, right? So yeah, okay, go ahead. Wait a minute, is that a picture of you riding, piggyback on your Dancing with the Stars partner? What the hell? I was like, yeah, enjoy that. Is that a picture of eight towels?
Starting point is 00:52:22 Yeah, I just wanted to remind you that I only have eight towels. So then Trixie Monagle comes back and she's like, if it's all right with you, I'm gonna step back and kiss myself. Kiss myself. I'm kiss stepating. I'm kiss stepating. Yeah. If it's all right with you, I'm gonna step back and kiss myself. It's a new low for Trixie. So Garcella's trick is just making out with the back of her elbow, the bend in her arm. So that's really bad. So Garcella is packing, which is as exciting as it sounds. And now Erica is packing. And people are packing and Tracy still saying, Is it all right with you? Huh? Is it all right with you? As she's like making out with her arm.
Starting point is 00:53:06 So then we go to Bo's. This show's turning into ladies filming scenes talking about packing with their dogs. Yeah. Well, Bo's still has Nico. Literally all we've got left. Bo's has Nico who is wearing some sort of like figure skating top.
Starting point is 00:53:22 And Bo's is like, I'll tell you one thing I don't need. The self tanner. The self tanner. You should try it. Maybe I will. I like that he's like, maybe I will try it. Because I'm feeling myself. I'm feeling out. Sorry, I got choked up on my weakness skin. Can we restart that record? Alright, Trixie. Take it from the top. So then Sutton's looking through her clothing for her packing while Avi watches and she's like, Oh, no, I can't do that. I wore that and I wore that. Can't wear anything anyone's ever seen you in. That is the
Starting point is 00:54:04 kiss of death. By the way, Avi, I like that suit. I like. You can't wear anything anyone's ever seen you in. That is the kiss of death. By the way, Obby, I like that suit. I like it when you wear it every single Tuesday. Mm-hmm. I know, he's like, what the hell? You're talking to a poor. So then we go to Jennifer Tilley's home and she's opening a wooden box on the bed.
Starting point is 00:54:18 And she's like, oh, here we go, poker chips, sage, holy water, all set for Oceanside. Oh God, I love her. And then we go love her too. Poker chips, sage, holy water. I mean, the two of us have loved her for so many years, but now that we're getting new reasons to love her, it just makes me love her even more. I just love that she's actually like that because you know people aren't always like their characters. I like when they are their characters. So to read FaceTime's Eureka and she's like hey you so I'm like a bit I'm a little frazzled leaving for Oceanside and
Starting point is 00:55:00 thinking about my kids my nanny who's been with me a very long time she's like family she'll stay just for two nights. I'll face time with them. You know, is it going to be safe? Will it be alright? Should I keep an eye out for little trails of Pringles eating outside? What do I do? You're a really great mom, Marie. Don't beat yourself up about it. Everything's gonna be fine. Do I have to stop being a nice fucking idiot? This is ridiculous. I can't take much more of this.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Please, Jesus Christ, can we talk about my poor, made out of poor people's skin? I can't take it. I'll be right back. By the way, I spoke to Kyle today and I said, you know that BravoCon thing to me doesn't strike me as something that was planned and malicious Unlike me what I did to you that time. Remember that that was hilarious at BravoCon And then we see again the clip for like the tenth time Which sister which Richard sisters your least favorite and then Kyle's bill causes to reach to spill on herself and to read says well right now it's Kyle and
Starting point is 00:56:02 Kathy's the best and the smoking gun for Kyle. It's hilarious. It's a stupid clip is played every single week. That means nothing. So because I could do her know, but not on purpose. Sure. Do I think he did it on purpose? No, I do not. Did I get? I don't know. Did Tom buy it? Hell no. Did the Rush Limbaugh look alike?
Starting point is 00:56:27 Who's been in love with me ever since he did business with Tom 30 years ago? By probably. What are we talking about, Dereed? I'm exhausted. Also, I love that Dereed's acting like she's never left her kids for overnight trips. He's like, me? Just to see a total mother. How could I let them go?
Starting point is 00:56:35 I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother.
Starting point is 00:56:43 I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother. I'm still feeling like I'm going to be a mother overnight trips. She's like, me? Just a stay at home mother? How can I let them go? I'm still feeding. Okay, Doreen. It's very difficult for you. I'm a single mother now. Okay. Well, Kyle. Hasn't PK been gone for a year? I know, pretty much. Kyle has asked me out so many times over the last few years, has iced me out, not asked me out. She's actually iced me out so many times.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Not once, not twice, not thrice, not four ice, not five ice, all right, Dorit. The point is it's a pattern. It's a pattern. It happened after her fashion show with New York City. And then we see a montage of all the times Kyle yells at Dorit over the past several years. That one in Colorado is really crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:33 I forgot about that one when she said one thing to stick up for who, Erica or Kathy. And then Kyle's like, look, I don't care. Screaming at her sobbing. I don't care, fuck off. I know, Kyle's such a slow breath. Congratulations! You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap!
Starting point is 00:57:52 For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two! See you over there, suckers! Watch what Crap-Ins would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice in King! It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Dana C, Dana Do. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles. Jamie, she has no less namey. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
Starting point is 00:58:32 Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcolani! We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! Have a heck of a time with Rebecca!
Starting point is 00:58:53 The highest tally, it's Sarah McNally! Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman! The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors! Somebody get us 10 cc's of BetsyMD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthi. The incredible, edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell pour Rachel. She's
Starting point is 00:59:46 the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shining out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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