Watch What Crappens - #2644 RHONY S15E09: Ballroom Stance

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

The Real Housewives of New York City celebrate Raquel’s engagement at a ballroom party and Erin gets Ubah worked up just for fun. Gotta have a hobby! To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. You can now gift Patreon to friends and family. And is there a better gift than these faces? https://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens/gift Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Guess what, Crappins? Oh, well you must be the Crappins On Demand level for instant recap access. Link in description. Enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and joyful Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Happy birthday to you! Ben Madelger, it's your birthday! It is.

Happy birthday, you little honey pie. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I love that you get to spend your birthday in London town. It's lovely. It's absolutely lovely. Look, all these people in the building next door here for my birthday. There's Lolly, Sophie and Gemma gather around. Sophie is currently at the sink

and she's pouring herself some water. She's looking at it. She's turning off the faucet. She's like, that's enough. And she's walking away with a water bottle right now. I could sit and watch these people all day long and narrate what's happening to them. She's like, that's enough. And she's walking away with a water bottle right now. I could sit and watch these people all day long and narrate what's happening to them. I mean, they're also looking at me. It's so weird. It wouldn't be our first time.

I know. But yes, happy old lovely birthday here in London. Thank you to everyone who's sent well wishes and everything. Thank you to the SoulCycle class that gave me a card today, a birthday card that said, happiest of birthdays to you. And I was like, thank you very much SoulCycle for a birthday card that said, happiest of birthdays to you. And I was like, thank you very much soul cycle birthday card on my, on my bike. London. So I love that you went to soul cycle on your birthday.

It's like the opposite. I feel of what most people do. Yeah. I wasn't going to do that. I was like, I'm going to just enjoy myself, but like, honestly, I'm like, I need, I need to do some sort of physical activity. Robbing in Greece right now. So I'm here, but like honestly I'm like I need I need to do some sort of physical activity. I'm rotting in Greece right now. So yeah, I'm here. But you know what? Even more exciting than my birthday is the fact that our tour,

the mounting hysteria tour tickets have gone on sale today. The tickets are live. The sale is public. This is our first North American tour in two years. We did hit up Europe earlier this year. London itself right here. But right now we're back going back to North America. We are so, so, so excited. And I'm just going to do a very quick rundown of all the cities we're going to be going to. We're not going to do this on every show. But since we just announced it today and we figure in case you didn't see it on social media, keep an ear out for a city that may be near you and hopefully you can come see us. So here is where we're going. It's going to start in January. We're going to San Francisco, San Diego, New York City

for the golden crappies. That's on February 1st. That's actually coming up pretty quickly. We're going to Salt Lake City, Denver, Cincinnati, which was where someone once got arrested at one of our shows, I'd like to point out. Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, DC, Philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas. That's all we have for right now. There may be some more cities that we add in. We are working with some other cities and also when you go to our website, watchourcrapins.com, that's where all the ticket links are. There are a few cities, I think it's Charlotte, Austin, and Dallas. The ticket links are not ready yet. We apologize. They just weren't ready and we

didn't want to wait any longer. We wanted to get this up and ready. So thank you for your patience if you're waiting to buy tickets at those venues. We will let you know as soon as possible. Once those are live, we don't want to hold that off. So that's the news guys. Yeah, go get your tickets. Also we start, sold on Salt Lake City, which is a new Bravo show.

We're gonna be recapping that on Patreon starting this week. So be on Patreon. Also where we do videos, where we are right now, and where we're gonna be recapping that on Patreon starting this week, so be on Patreon. Also, where we do videos, where we are right now, and where we're gonna start this recap right now. Okay, so Real Housewives of New York, wow. So we missed last week. There were two of you who were very disappointed, and no one else noticed.

No one else noticed. The reason we did was just because it was holidays and we were just rushing, it was traveling and all that, so we got as many recaps as we could up. One had to suffer a death. And we of course chose that one because it's that one. But, or this one. But it was a decent episode last week.

You watched it. Yes. Yeah, it was very moving. Oh God. I'm asking questions like Bronwyn from Salt Lake City now. You watched it. Yes. I did. You did somethingwyn from Salt Lake City. Now. You watched it. Yes. I did.

You did something wrong to me. Yes. I'm going to be like Bronwyn. I'm going to purse my lips and stick my tongue in my cheek and nod my head to show my displeasure. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. But I did. I thought it was actually I thought it was a very moving episode, you know, for as much shit as we give Rooney. And as much as we're like, oh my god, trauma dumping. It was actually a very moving episode and you know, for as much shit as we give Rony and as much as we're like, oh my God, trauma dumping. It was actually a very moving episode and very sad. So it was actually-

Well, they're upping their traumas. And I have to say, and I know that sounds cynical as hell to say it, but it is a trauma dump show. Every week it's more fucking trauma. This week is no, you know, this week is the same, but they're really sad, heartbreaking, horrible things that are happening. So I'm not making fun of that. But yeah, it is every week. It's there are really sad, heartbreaking, horrible things that are happening, so I'm not making fun of that. But yeah, it is every week. It's like, all right, whose trauma are we gonna showcase this week, buddy?

So I believe in it all. I really am trying to be positive about this show. I know everyone can't stand it right now. It's so boring. But you know what? The show's not doing itself any favors because this episode, I timed it. I timed it. I looked at the time. It was 10 minutes, 10 minutes of airtime of people walking into that birthday party today. It started at 12. We have started like around

12 minutes or I don't know when, you know, because it's screen or time versus when it airs on YouTube or whatever. But like, I timed it and it went on 10 minutes of people walking into the party laughing and be like, Oh my God, I can't believe this look. Oh my God, that looks amazing. Oh my God, ballroom. And then another person, it went on and on and on without the story moving forward in any way, without any compelling conversations. 10 minutes.

These shows are like 42 minutes long, maybe 44 minutes. So 10 minutes is basically 25% of your show. Okay. You spent 25% of your show walking into a party. That is the problem with this season in a nutshell, and it will not get better until they start getting better content for us. Yeah, so, yeah, I don't feel the need to try to be positive or to try to be negative. I just come say whatever. I don't care, I'm not gonna try being positive

for anything, you know? But good luck to you guys. So let's start it out. And I thought this was a okay episode Actually, let's talk about the last episode too because that was a pretty Big episode. Well first it was oh My god was she involved in the prank because Brynn went and told everybody wait a minute I was involved in the prank Aaron told me about the prank and then I said I'm gonna one up the pregnancy rumors and say

That Rebecca's a slut so I told everybody that Rebecca's getting chained or getting trained by every guy in Manhattan in the Scientology Center. Which didn't really make sense because like, one thing is like she's pregnant. The next rumor is she it could be anybody's sperm because they're open and they're banging half the people in town. Like, that's a much more destructive take on it, but she went with that. And then she got everybody believing it, that Erin somehow knew that she was going to do that. So Erin twisted it around to make it look like Brynn is just a monster, when she should have known that Brynn was joking. It was very confusing. Yeah, it was

Yeah, it was a whole thing and then led to a lot of conversations about did you were you in on the prank? But you said she knew about the prank, but I didn't know she was on on the prank But was she in on the prank? It was so fucking annoying because it's one of these storylines that sucks anyway And they're just like hammering it into the ground because they had to get out of it And then the next main part of the episode was Aaron's abortion story So she told us, you know, like look whenever we go through something rough and traumatic. It's really important to share it

When you get a cover on glamour magazine, I'm sure it's like when everybody does it But she shared that and I do think that those kind of stories are extremely important to share. And one thing that I liked, I really liked about her sharing this story was that I think when people talk about abortion rights and women's rights and what's currently going on in this country with Roe versus Wade being repealed in places like my home state of Texas, you know, making, oh God, making abortion illegal, etc. One thing that we hear in stories is like, well, here's the reason that abortion should be legal, because what if a mother's life is in danger? You know, there's a lot of times where, you

know, you can't carry a baby to term or you will die, and that is the reason for an abortion. So a lot of the stories we hear are like, but this horrible thing could have happened, and then this really extreme thing could have happened, and then this thing could have happened which killed the mother. And it's nice to hear stories that are just like, no, I got an abortion

because it's my fucking right to have an abortion, and I wasn't ready to have a child, because that is the reason a lot of women have abortions, and I think sometimes we have to make it this big, dramatic thing to make it important. And I think that those reasons obviously are important, but it's obviously important because it's your fucking right.

It's your fucking right to do it. And it's important to be able to talk about it in a calm way, which she did. Now, has she donated to Trump and stopped the steal and everything else? And does that make her a total hypocrite? We're talking about Aaron but you so yes, but it's still important to have that conversation and I was glad it was had on the show Yeah, I I thought it was really good. I think actually for me

What was really important to demonstrate was like how the conversation like she was sharing it? Which I thought was actually really brave and it shouldn't be like a brief thing, you know, but like she was talking about it and then Jenna was like, yeah, it happened to me. And then she was very, you know, she was nervous about having to tell her dad and she never told her dad and then she tells her dad and he's like, he's like, well, yeah, you know, I had a situation like that that happened in my youth as well. The point is that this is something

that impacts a lot of people and like it shouldn't be stigmatized. Like you said, it's someone's right to do what they want to do with their body. It's never been killed. And I thought I really appreciated the show for kind of taking a pretty big stand on it. And now of course, because it's Erin, she still had to bungle it in some kind of way.

And for me, it was when she outed her mom's abortion. Like that's crazy. She's like, Oh, really dad? Because mom said she had an abortion too. It's like, what the fuck are you doing, bro? Like you don't get to do you can't do that on TV to other people, especially your mother. What the fuck? But overall, you know, I think it was a pretty important thing. Do I think it was like super fun? No, but these shows don't all have to be, they don't always have to be super fun. But I thought that was a pretty important conversation. I was glad to see it on TV.

And I'm actually kind of proud of the audience for not getting as rabid as I thought, because you know, there's people who lean very different ways all over the place who watch Housewives politically, and it didn't get as ugly as I thought it could have. So, you know, yay, yay, Bravo audience, I think. Yeah. And then, um, uh, and then the other part of the episode that was really sad was, um, Aaron's dad,

you know, as we know, he passed away and we saw sort of like this final scene where she was talking to her dad about the abortion and they were talking and you do see he is, he's, he's not well. And, and we know what, you know, we know he has passed by the time this airs. And it was a, it was very touching because they kind of gave him like a little bit of a sendoff and she sort of eulogized her father. And it was, it was really beautiful. Actually. I thought, I thought that producers did actually an excellent job and so was it the most entertaining episode

in terms of like house wide stuff? Probably not, but it was actually I think fairly impactful. So you know, that's a nice silver lining on a season that's been getting trashed by a lot of people is that they did pull off I think actually a pretty thoughtful episode. Okay, so this episode. Starts Sigh has glass in her foot. Yeah Sigh has glass in her foot. I can't believe this stupid shit happened to me. I would look at this x-ray look at this

x-ray. All right this x-ray has been sponsored by Nabisco which has never served in class. So Sigh's like okay everyone freak accident so I decided I was going to clean up my sample closet, which is, you know, Cyphora. That's what I call it because, you know, like, sephora, it's Cyphora. So, I was getting rid of small products and there was a bag of glass and I put it in my elevator and it was falling out the elevator. So, I kicked it. I kicked that glass and it went into my foot about the way up to my bone. I can't believe it. So her husband's making all these jokes with her. He's like, Oh, wow. Yeah, sweatpants. That's how most people go to the podiatrist I find. What are we going to the Upper East Side? Oh, yeah. Hey, you

want to put your shoes on? Is that poop on the bottom of your shoes. Is that defecation? Good Lord woman. Yes, I is not having a good start to this episode. She has glass embedded deep into her foot, and there is so much poop on her on her slide. It's like, it is wild how much poop that she has stepped in and that she didn't even notice. And she's tracked it all the way up into whatever closet she's in. And then she literally turns it over and she's like significant. She's like, that's disgusting. I'm like, yes, please clean your floors now because it's been all over your house. Yeah, she puts her nose right up in that right to right. It's like clearly poop. Okay, it's clear you don't need to put it that close to your nose.

She's like, is this poop? Get it off your face. Get it off your face. So we go from boop to stoop because now we're going to Jenna's apartment for her stoop sale. And so there's like a line around the block because of course everyone wants to get involved and people are coming in to buy Jenna's stuff including Sonny Hostin, which I thought was funny. So there are people showing up and Jenna's like, well, I put up an Instagram post and it says, due to the enormous amount of interest, we have made some adjustments to say we'll take place in New York City. Yeah, there's a line around the block. I am completely, completely blown away by it. It's like, wow, wow, I'm so blown away. I'm whispering now.

Someone away whispering now. And Carol went to this apparently, well she didn't go to it, but she made a, someone posted her making a TikTok or something where she said, can you believe it? I was walking up the street in New York and I said, what's this crazy line for this going around the block? And they said, it's a Real Housewives of New York,

she's a badass. You go Jenna I would have gone in but I have to run a marathon so Jenna's like yeah the first person I knew who did this was June Ambrose. That's J.C. Stylist. Yeah. Let's see some footage of us together. Look at us. We're fabulous. And then she was the one who really started the game and then Chloe Saffini did it. So I was like, I'm going to be like the cool girls who are much fancier than me. I love Jenna pretending like other people are fancier than her. Like Jenna, you have

an enormous like town home in Soho with all this designer stuff that Beyonce's worn. You're fancy. So I like that we saw this conversation between her and June Ambrose. Because she was like, so is Cass gonna go on? And she's like, No, no, no, no, because this was before the Today Show. She's getting ready. She's like, so is Cass gonna go on the show with you? And she's like, No, no, no, no. Oh, because she's shy. Well, I mean, she would be ready. She's like so is Cass gonna go on the show with you and she's like no no no Oh because she's shy well, I mean she

Canceled she would be canceled So I like this. She's kind of hiding Cass away cuz Cass has a mouth on her I need to see I need to meet Cass now if you're that worried about bringing your girlfriend around because she's gonna be canceled I need to meet her immediately. That's my kind of girl. Yeah, and I think you'll be fine I think that no one really gets canceled in general and also specifically on Bravo. So then Jenna is yeah, so so people are coming in and like, Oh my god, it's Jenna Lyons. Oh my god, this is amazing. Hi, hi, hi. They're all excited. And we see just people shopping. And what you're

excited. I'm just just eating lunch don't mind me just just casually here with my feet up enjoying some lunch please I hate attention please stop I got take away from LaBernadette just me there's so many fancy people out here so um I like to have me there was one lady who they negotiated with Jenna and she was like um so how much for these sunglasses she's like 20 she's like 20 for J.Crew how about 10 I'll give you 10. I was like wow. Her assistant putting uh prices on staff because she's like I'm now Jenna. So she's like J.Crew what I mean it's not okay 500 no 500. No Jenna, less. A quarter.

Okay, $10 Jenna, $210. Okay, I'm just gonna pretend to eat my lunch here. I'm just a normal person. Oh my God, 10 Williams! It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hello ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with his The Grinch Holiday Podcast.

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podcasts. Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today. So now we go to a restaurant where Aaron meets up with Raquel and they're being all nicey nice. Raquel's like, oh, it's winning. And Aaron's like, yeah, it's like perfect Memorial Day energy here. I'm like, or it was until you walked in the room

and drained it all instantly. So Raquel's like, Aaron is my girl and I'm upset about where we're at. So like, I really want to fix it but with the root one little thing can turn into a year of not speaking to each other or so So they order some grilled halloumi and Erin's like cheers to this stupid ass annoying shit I want it to be over like I've been overwhelmed with personal stuff. So that's why that day was hard So Raquel's like, yeah, you know, look I came across harsh

But I've just been with Brynn the whole day And she was really going on and on about how you had a conversation and she was in on the prank. And I'm like, wait a minute, was she in on the prank? This is so bizarre to me. Who was in on the prank? Raquel should not have had to have apologized for coming in too harshly at that picnic. Her tone was perfectly acceptable. And Erin was the one who was being harsh trying to make Raquel feel bad. That was a beating up on the new girl move by Erin, I believe. So Erin's like, well, we were hanging out. Okay, I'm hanging out with Brynn and she's like, so tell me, is it true? Did she like really fuck other guys? And I wasn't

gonna like double down on this creepy story that I already had invented and put on national TV. So I was like, honestly, like, well, like sleeping around, I was like, no, but I do think she's pregnant or whatever. But it was like casual. It wasn't like a deep conversation or anything. It's just how I remembered it. I don't know.

But you know, Brynn, she embellishes. Like, yes, Brynn embellishes, but you're the one who passed off this lie on TV. Yeah. So she is saying that she told Brynn, Oh no, she didn't have sex with other guys or whatever. And then Brynn decided to, so stupid. Like don't do that. Like the thing is this, Rebecca's in on the prank. She knows, she knows it's a lie. So you don't have to like cover, like don't, don't let them, don't let them mark in on it. You're double cross Rebecca by doing that. Like, that's just, Aaron's just such a bad pranker. It's terrible.

She's really bad at it. But also, Aaron and Brynn are just liars. Yeah, they are. And that's, I think, one of the main faults of the show, is that they just both lie. So, ultimately, when you're lying to enough, you just don't trust anybody, you know? You just don't trust them at all.

So, it's like little girl who cried, you know, prank. It's a little girl who cried whore. And nobody believes it anymore. Like, they're just constantly going on. So Raquel's like, well, I mean, I have heard that she embellishes things mostly from you and I guess everybody. But she's like, listen, I'll hear you both out and time will tell. Time will tell.

And I just like that Aaron's like, yeah, I'm hear you both out and time will tell. Time will tell. And I just like the errands like, yeah, I'm not. I'm not getting involved anymore. This was your thing. What do you mean you're not getting involved? I know it's your prank. Raquel's like, Erin and I have different opinions and OK, we could just like move past it and you know, we hash it out. We heard it. We're good. It's like you gave up too easily, Raquel.

Come on. You're on the Real Housewives, not like a cocktail party. Well, I think Raquel is showing that she's willing to get into it with the ladies. She doesn't care if it's her first season. Like, she's willing to stand up and say her piece, but it's just the fights are so dumb. Yeah. She's like, I can't. I'll just be waiting over here for you guys to come up with something good. Okay.

So she's like, Okay, we're good. So Aaron's like, actually, I love Raquel, because like, we didn't even have to have an open like we were able to have an open and honest conversation. And yes, I'm quoting Kyle Richards, and it probably is triggering Ronnie even more about me. But she was able to express how she felt, but also see where I'm coming from. And that to me is a true friendship. I mean, right up until the time she told me that the waiter was like sleeping with half of the staff, I mean, sorry.

So then Raquel was like, so have you spoken to Uber? And everyone's like, oh yeah, Uber. Well, Uber's had this like thing with me since like last year about like gaslighting. You'd see a flashback to the reunion where Uba's like, you're a gaslighter, shits to her, basic bitch. And Raquel's like, oh yeah, well, she came in and she started saying something about gaslighting at the picnic.

And we see a flashback to the picnic where Uba was like, oh, congratulations, you're getting gaslit by Erin now. But I just wanna point out that this is directly after the conversation where Erin admits that she was starting shit on purpose with everybody. Yeah. And then she was gas lighting Rorkel into believing that she never did anything. So I mean, pretty funny. So then, Erin's like, I just don't like that. Because like, it's not even applicable in this

situation. Like, how is this gas lighting? I don't get it. So she's stupid prank. Now, Aaron's like, you know, was calling Bren a snake and side was calling Bren a separate Satan. And now they're all this on all writing for Brin so hard that they're gonna tear tear me down like I'm a direct target like seriously because you lied to everyone and then you tried to throw a Brin under the bus and make it seem like she was a big old gossip when she was but I don't believe Brin either. I don't believe Brin either saying oh I'm going to I either saying, oh, I told Erin that I'm gonna go tell everybody

that she's really sleeping out with half the town. I don't believe that happened either. And we see Bryn lie all the time too. That's why I'm just like, you're both fucking liars, man. But we saw a flashback last week, I think it was last week, whenever it was, in the fallout, where Bryn told someone at dodgeball, I think she told Raquel,

where she told someone she was like, hey, it's a prank, just like go with it. So we saw that she actually was doing it. She was doing the prank. That she was like, Right, but we didn't see that Erin made her think that, we didn't see that Erin knew that she was gonna do that. We just saw her.

It's my birthday, this isn't fair. It's too much, I'm telling you. It's fucking too much. So, okay. So let's just kind of move passage because basically they just, basically Raquel's like, I don't know what the fuck you idiots are talking about. I'll just have to wait and see, right? So now they start talking about her engagement party, which is this ballroom theme thing. And so this is another moment of Erin just being completely out to lunch about any culture besides boarding school culture. So Erica's like, by the way, I'm so excited for ballroom.

I just don't know what to wear. And she's like, you don't have an outfit? She goes, no, but Madonna could be fun because, you know, Madonna stole voguing. So that's what's so funny to me. Madonna still she she gave it credit, I guess, right? When she took vogue, like she kind of credited the ballroom culture and Paris is burning and all that stuff with vogue. But I mean, Madonna kind of lifted that, like culture. Yeah, but like Madonna is Madonna did not create voguing, basically. And so she's an appropriator.

Yeah. So for you, I'm gonna dress like the appropriator. And I'm gonna introduce everyone at the ballroom to mezcal. I invented that. So Aaron is is like, so what are you gonna dress as? And Raquel is like, oh, I'm most likely doing grace. And Aaron's like, Oh, because she doesn't know who grace Jones is because that's what the reference is. And so Aaron goes, Oh, and then Aaron's like, when I hear ballroom, I think of Beauty and the Beast dancing in that final scene. Is that what that not what we're going for? Like Aaron? You're Aaron, you're the only thing it's like Aaron's not like of a different generation that's never heard of this. Like this is like it's around. It's around. Okay. It's in pop

culture. Yeah. So, our Cal's like, well, oh, we went to a sex shop, Mel and I the other day, and we got me a collar with a leash. And she's like, wait, you're going to wear that like Grace Kelly in a collar? I love that. She's like, no, honey. Not Grace Kelly, not Grace Jones, Grace, Grace Jones, not Grace Kelly. You thought I was going to be Grace, Grace Kelly. Do you know who Grace Jones is? And she's like, Oh, whoops. Hold on. Let me look at my phone. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. of course I know who she is. You do not know who she is. No. My god, that was

trying to pretend like he knows who Grace Jones is. So now Raquel now it's time for her the engagement party and she's wearing she's wearing the Bronwyn red for heart. This one looks I don't know if it's real or not. This one looks more real than Brittany Bateman's version that she wore on TikTok. So I'll give it that. But it's the the heart jacket. How is that coat making it all over the place? It's everywhere

now. And you know what other outfit right now is everywhere? The one that, what's her bums? Jessel is wearing in her confessional later that's got like kind of the late black lace top with a white long triangle collar. It's what Karen wore, I was calling it her Eddie Monster dress on Potomac. Kyle wore it in a confessional last year and Katie Maloney wore it in a confessional last year. So that's another one that's ever

It's that's like that Mugler. Yeah, I skating outfit. Yeah, so So Raquel comes in she is sort of doing Bronwyn meets Grace Jones and then And then we meet her aunt Diana who, who seems really nice and everything, and Mel's there, and they keep putting up little chyrons that are like ballroom chyrons, like category, Mel's category is executive realness. So Raquel tells us about her aunt,

and she says that they had a very special bond growing up, and she was like totally accepting of Mel, there was no hesitation about it, she was just like, where are you throwing the party? I'll be there, yada, yada, yada. But then Raquel did text her mom and her mom was like, I'd love to come, but I can't get away from Puerto Rico. So couldn't make it.

So. Yeah, she's like, I have non-homosexual obligations that I can't get away from. So sorry. So then Raquel's asking her cousin Michael, she's like, did you understand what this party even is? She's like, no, that's why I, yeah, I don't get it. And she's like, so it's about the ballroom culture, the queer culture and bogey.

It's very big in queer culture. Oh, OK. Great. And so Uba comes in and every, you know, it's another five minute segment of someone walking in in an outfit and everybody ooing and awing. So she's like, I am Natalia, a beautiful redhead who lives in Moscow. Natalia like to dance. Natalia love to get to know people.

You can look, but you can't touch. And then Jenna walks in and she's wearing like a big blonde wig or maybe platinum blonde or white or whatever, and like a big white dress. She basically trying to look opposite of what she normally would wear. And she also has like a butt padding in and everything. So everyone's like, Oh my God, Jenna Lyons, is that you? Oh my God.

And then Jessel comes dressed as Madonna. And she is like, as they point out later, the desperately seeking Susan Madonna, which doesn't really make much sense. But she does that. And Jenna's like, Oh, my god, that's so perfect. I mean, as soon as you walked in, I said Madonna, you know, it's funny, as soon as Povit walked in, he said hot dog. He's talking about me. No, he ran towards a hot dog. So that was

he said instead of Madonna, he said, my Bonilla. Get it. So then. So Jenna has Jenna's talk explaining to them all that she has a butt pad and everything. And, you know, she's, she's like, you know, she's like, Yeah, everything is like, my hair is fake. My eyelashes aren't real. My boobs aren't real. My butt's not real. She's like, Welcome to being a chick, Jenna. Nothing's real when you're a chick, not even your love for your quote unquote husband. Isn't that right, Povit? And so then Mel's like, Yeah, we were hoping you'd butch it up a little bit today, Jessel. She's like, I don't own anything butch. What's that? And so Mel's like, don't you know what a soft pack

is? It's like essentially a fake flaccid penis that you insert. Are you are you not into that? She's like, I mean, I have a foo-paw. Does that count? She's like, I mean, I have a foo-pah, does that count? And Mel's like, what? Fat upper pussy area, basically puff it. And that's what it is, I just have a very tight pussy. Mel's like, oh, okay, you're not really getting the joke here, but that's fine, talk about your foo-pah.

So then the camera moves to Al Raquel's 14 year old daughter looking uncomfortable as hell. She's just like, yeah, it was really fun. Fun party, mom. And then Uba has some issue with her outfit. So she has to like get out of her bra, but stay in the outfit. So she's like negotiating with that and it's wacky. And then Raquel is like, where's Povit? Oh, I don't know. He's putting the kids down and probably has to visit five different fried chicken shacks before he gets over here. So just keep an eye out for a man with grease all over his face when he walks in the door. It's probably Puppet. So this is literally small talk, small talk, small talk, small talk, small talk,

small talk, small talk, small talk, small talk. Ten minutes of airtime. It's wild. Small talk, small talk, small talk, small talk. 10 minutes of airtime. It's wild. Yes. And then we hear Mel and Raquel's meeting stories. And Mel's like, well, I'm gonna lock her down. She's a runaway bride. I tease her all the time.

And Raquel's like, this all stems from something Chris Rock told her, honey. Go ahead and tell the Chris Rock story. And she goes, okay, we were at the, where were we again? The Chanel Met Gala party. Oh, oh, right, right, just that, right. And Chris Rock just went on this skit about how she's like an international heartbreaker

and that was her reputation when they were hanging out at like 19. She's like that famous. Rikkel was like, thank you, Chris Rock, for creating trust issues in my relationship. So now Abe and Erin, we just see them walking, but we only see them holding hands and they're like from like knee down and Abe is like, don't be annoying tonight, okay, honey? She's like, I'll try. Don't embarrass me. I'll try. John John John.

So then who comes under the red coat? I don't know. Red Heartcoat Raquel. Oh yeah, Raquel's in the coat. So they're talking about that coat and stuff. And then it was like so I don't know. Aaron walks in. Aaron, Aaron, go to that.

And drag. Abe looks sort of like a funhouse version of Dorinda. Aaron just looks, I don't know what's going on with Aaron. I feel like we have to work on our drag king stuff here. I just feel like there could have been a better way to make Aaron look butch. This is just like some strange like Willy Loman look that she pulled together.

She somehow put more eyeliner on to be a guy and then put her hair in a bun. She was supposed to be Abe and she was supposed to be Abe and then Abe was supposed to be her. He looked like a kids in the hall. I don't know what the hell Abe was doing. It was so bizarre. It was really crazy. And also Abe was super into it. Like Erin stayed into it for a minute. She's like, Hey, I'm Abe, I can pitch your butt, I can flirt with you. But it was like, Hello, I'm Aaron.

Hi, everybody has a quote, Abe's really stepping out for the first time is, and he's like, he's like, I'm only gonna he said, I'm in, but I'm only in if I get full, full glam, because I want to be all I want done properly. So he is like ready to go. He is like patting his hair and everything and Aaron's like, hey, Aaron, why don't you look in your pocket? Do you see something in there? Oh, that's right. That's where my Bitcoin used to be. Ha ha ha. Now you know what it's like to be me. Ha ha ha. Now you know what it's like to be me.

So then Raquel's like, so I want you to come meet my friends, telling her sign. And he's like, okay, great. So he goes to meet her friends and then Uba FaceTime sigh who can't come because her foot or whatever. And Jenna's like, I'm so pumped you're not here. I'm just like so upset about your foot. I'm really upset, okay'm so pumped you're not here. I'm just I'm just like, so upset about your foot. Really upset.

Okay. And then profit comes. This is this is really this is I quit. I'm just quit. I'm quitting right here. I'm actually looking right now to see how many pages of the actual small talk like what pages starts in our notes. Murphy, actual small talk like what pages starts in our notes. Cheline Murphy. So Brynn comes in and she's like, oh my God, Jenna's dressing me. Also Jenna, is Brynn not dressed up?

Yeah, they say like the category is like glitter or something like that, but Brynn just looks like she's just wearing, like she's just going out. Yeah, Brynn makes zero effort for this. I've noticed she does that with a lot of parties where she's just like, I'm not doing it. Yeah, and then I'm gonna go to spray tan in the middle. So she's like, imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Especially when the person doing the imitation is Jenna. person doing the imitation is Jenna. So then she's like, Oh my god, you have to imitate Brynn. And then Brynn does it because Jenna puts her finger in her mouth and Brynn's like, Yeah, I'm lost and I'm horny. Who's here to help? Does, um, does Aaron look like a lesbian? And it was like, Wait, wait until you see Abe. He's like the perfect basic bitch drinking from water glasses.

Haha. So Abe comes in, he's like, hi, sweetie. And Brynn is like, whoa, she's like, oh, Mrs. Delfire. And he's like, fuck you. You're so fucking annoying. I'm Aaron. Just was like, oh, wow. I mean, Bryel's like, oh wow. I mean, Brim's like, oh wow, Abe got rid of the babe

and now he's just Abe. So then, now Jenna kind of hits on Povett and Jessel and she kisses Jessel and Povett's like, whoa. And she's like, last year, Jessel propositioned me with a threesome, but I'm gonna say the same thing I said. I don't think she's ready for it. So, I don't think you're ready to have sex with the woman who brought Rockefeller Center to the people.

No. So after all this time, we now, 10 minutes in, Jenna's like, so, hey, why do you think who is not hiking out? I feel like she's not hiking out. So now we're finally starting to move the story forward a little bit. Yeah, Jenna's the messy one now.

Look at Jenna carrying bones. Very, very messy. And I just want to point out, no, I'm not even going to point this out. I've harped on it enough, but it did take up 25% of our notes was small talk. I did the math. So anyway, Jenna is being messy. And she's like, Oh, well, Aaron, you know, we talked to the phone and there's a lot of attacking me. Yeah, I think that's the way she's

thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you, she's gunning for me. And you know what, I'm not going to engage in that, except I'm going to go around right now and tell every single person here that uva is gunning for me So she's like, yeah, you know uva has been making comments on my character I'm calling me a gaslighter and like a dodgeball when I said I have secrets on everyone which is like totally no big deal She was like, well, you don't have secrets on me, bitch. I mean, like, what the fuck? So Raquel's like, All right, it sounds like we're having a storyline develop on this episode. So let's just like stop

that for right now. And everyone want to say hi. So let's, let's have some dancing. So now like people start, you know, it's like ballroom, you start seeing dancing, it's fun, it's really great. And then it's House of, Raquel says it's House of Mulan is coming in to do all this, all this stuff. So then just Jussell's like, when I hear House of Mulan, I think Disney movie. I'm very behind, clearly.

I love that they just keep referencing Disney movies for ballroom culture. Yeah, not like the innocent girls don't get anything except Disney movies when they talk about this. Commercials, here comes one right now. Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the best idea yet a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with listen to the best idea yet on the wonder app or wherever you get your podcasts.

So then Jenna goes straight to Uber like we're in trouble because for some reason Aaron thinks you're coming after her. And she's like, where'd that come from? I have a fibroid, I'm figuring out my shit, leave me alone. So this is where we see how sneaky and gaslighty and manipulative and ridiculous Erin is. Yet another example.

Uba tells us, this is ridiculous because Erin and I talk all the time. So why are you telling me that I'm coming for you when we literally talked last night? Yeah, what is this? Yeah. So Jenna's like, well, I said to her, she's not coming for you. Like you literally told her she's attacking you on the phone. What are you talking about, Jenna? Yeah. Yikes. So then it was like, why would I come? I come in the night with my man. That's where I come. She's like, oh, okay. Well, great. And so she's like, she needs to come to my face

and say, Uba, why are you doing this to me? So she's getting worked out because Erin just keeps fucking with her, which she does. And so it was was like she wants something with me. So then Raquel gives a speech and she's like, we are so blessed. Mel's going to say a few words because I am so shy about this and Chris Rock isn't here to speak for me. I know Chris Rock. Mel? So then Mel is gives a very nice speech because we all love Mel. I'm always happy to see Mel on my screen and she's like, yeah, this is ballroom culture, which is another way of saying for the queer community, chosen family. Sometimes chosen family steps up and becomes like a real family. So she gives a nice little speech, like, you know, there's a speech you'd hear at an engagement party

and how she's so excited to be like welcome Cory and Elle, start a new life with Cory and Elle, the daughters, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And Raquel is just very happy because she, you know, she says that as a mother, just wants so badly for someone who loves your children as much as you do. And you know what?

She's feels very lucky with them. So then we go to Brynn's apartment and she's like, sugar, I'm going to talk about mommy's book today. Are you ready? Can you reach it? And she tells us that she has a book deal with Simon and Schuster. And she's like, it's like a self-help memoir. It's like my book, my book agents calling it that. So like now it's time to start writing. Enter the ghostwriter. It's like knock knock.

Hammond the ghostwriter comes in. I'm also wondering what self help like Brynn has to offer. So she, the lady comes in and she had written an article for Brynn for Glamour Magazine. So Glamour Magazine really, really getting some good publicity out of this show by interviewing all these people. So they settle in and you know Brynn's gonna, she's talking about like what she can write in the book,

but then it turns out that she is going to be talking a lot in the book about her personal stuff. And what we find out is that she is the victim of the sexual assault and a me too moment and it's actually very interesting because we start to see how this has really really affected a lot of the things were like why does she act like that why does she do that and now we see that there's unfortunately a very like traumatic underpinning to a lot of her behavior

yeah and so basically she went through sexual assault and it kind of cut her off, like it cut her off to relationships and love. And so she's always joking about relationships and love, but she's never in a relationship and people are constantly asking her. And one of her biggest fears is getting into a relationship and then having to explain that to the guy and you know feeling

less than and and it's heartbreaking it's actually a deeply heartbreaking scene I thought I was like this is this this is just it's so sad it's sad that she has to go through that I mean you know Brynn's having a terrible villain edit of a season and everyone's hitting on Brynn but like you know I don't think that even our worst villains on Bravo, you know, when you hear a story like this, your heart just has to go out to her, you know? Yeah. And so she's talking about when she broke up with Gideon because things weren't working. She was like, I tried calling passages and they were like, sorry, you don't have a coke addiction. You can't come here. Also, you're not really famous yet. But you can

try getting a couple years. Yeah. So she then she went to Bali for an eat, pray, love moment. And she was like, Oh, my God, I should call the eat, pray, boob because I drink the water. So then, yeah, so she she tells the story and it's very emotional and she's crying a lot and she talks about how really like it had so many terrible effects. She grew distant from her grandmother in the last year of her life and then it's affected her relationships. It's affected really everything in her life.

And we see her also, we see flashbacks of her talking about it with her brother. And he is, you know, you know, you know, he is feeling really terrible for her and trying to help, etc. So it's, it's a pretty intense scene that I was not expecting to land on our laps. Yeah. And so that's that pretty much. So then we go to Sy's townhouse for Raquel, Sy, and who else comes to this? Uba, I think. Someone else? Didn't Uba come over? I think Uba comes over.

Oh, okay, it's just not here in this part. So they come over, she comes over, and then this is intercut with Brynn going to City Meals on Wheels to do some charity work. So Erin and Brynn are going to do some some putting boxes together. Yes. So they Brynn Brynn is talking about the organization and that basically Aaron is the only person who reached out to help her with it because she posted on Instagram about it. So then Uba comes over to Sai's apartment. And she's like, good morning, Dr. Evil is here and I need a doctor. What a lovely morning.

This is worth driving here all the way to Brooklyn. Disgusting. So they're talking about Sai's foot and she's like, all right, well, the lacerations healed. But then he said, not only is the glass in the bone, but it's right next to the artery. So then I find out if I slam on the gas or something, I could cut my artery and die. So that's fun, right? It's horrible, horrible stuff. Yes, Sai's story, Sai's storyline for this episode

is just not great. Stepped in glass, there was poop on her shoe, and then it turns out that the glasses so embedded in her foot, it could actually somehow kill her. Like, oh my God, do you also have pink eye? I put my shoe in my eye. Why? I don't know.

It was that kind of a morning. So then they're talking about, you know, how Raquel had her party and so I couldn't come and her mom also couldn't come. And Raquel was like, you know, I don't know. Mel was suggesting I go visit my mom. And so I was like, do it, do it. She's like, really? Do it.

So she's like, why don't we all go? So of course, because it's this show, they're going to apparently have a group trip based around the trauma. It's like, let's travel to the trauma. Let's go to the trauma. Let's go to Puerto Rico, where the main event is Raquel's trauma. Party, party. Well, to be fair, one could make an argument that the Bermuda trip on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was 100% the same. Yeah, but that show doesn't deal with trauma the same way.

They're like, oh yeah, trauma, trauma, trauma. Okay, you're a bit, ah. Yeah, and I think also the family members will show up. Okay, the mom's gonna, we know the mom's gonna show up for this show, unlike Monica's family. So, Sy tells us that she is, she's Puerto Rican, but New Yorker. And so she was raised in New York. And so, you know, but like her roots are very important to her.

And she goes, family, food, music, dancing. These are all my favorite parts about being Puerto Rican. Unlike other cultures who hate family, food, music, and also dancing. Literally, I love when people say that. I'm Italian. You know what Italians love? Food. who hate family, hate food, hate music, and also dancing. Literally. I love when people say that. I'm Italian, you know what Italians love? Food.

Really? Because we're just basically boiling green beans over here. You know? I am from Greenland, we hate food, but we love Tupperware, it's weird. But we like putting nothing in top of it. We hate music. No dancing.

You know what, if we have food, we don't want it to be fresh, and we want to eat it alone. That is our culture. So now the question is to Uba, have you spoken to Aaron? Dun, dun, dun. And now Aaron shows up to city meals. So Aaron is like, all right, put me to work.

And so Brynn's like, oh my God, we're volunteering. Look at us, we're totally the hottest ones here. Okay. So they're talking about how good it is to give back. And then we talk about, uh, Brian saying that she feels really bad for Erin because we found out that her mom has cancer. So she's going to be nice to Erin for a couple of episodes basically. And then, um, they start talking about, ooh, bye, don't turn on.

So now let's have a cross cutting scene. Yeah. So we go back to size backyard where everyone's scraping poop off their shoes. And Uba's like, so we hung out, we had a good time. But here's the thing. Jenna comes to me and says, you know, Erin, you know that, oh, Erin's coming after her, thinks that you're coming after her. And then like five months later, Rimmu was like, oh yeah, Erin's saying that all the time. And we see flashbacks to this and everything. And Uba's totally confused because she's not filming for Erin at all.

And so- And by the way, Brynn is doing that. Brynn, he was like, oh my God, I'm gonna be so kind to Erin right now and really just make an effort towards this friendship. Cut to Brynn being like, oh yeah, she's been telling me for a couple of weeks, she's coming for me, she's coming for me.

She's really paranoid about you. So Raquel was well during your picnic you know when you came back with Jenna yeah I said I said she's gaslighting because she is and Raquel's like yeah but I think you used the wrong word yeah you know so she's like I don't understand why she's coming after me so Raquel explains that gaslighting is a manipulation where the person is doing with an ultimate goal that they're trying to achieve. But Raquel doesn't believe that. More technical, that didn't make sense anyway. That was a bunch of damn word salad. Gaslighting is when you're trying to make somebody think they're crazy.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And basically, Raquel says, I don't think Erin's even trying to manipulate the situation. She's just chaotically lying. So she's like, with the prank, I don't see what Erin has to gain from that. That's a great that's true. I'm not sure what she has to gain from that either. It's maybe a storyline. I'm not sure. She doesn't see what she gains from throwing Brynn under the bus because she and Brynn are always throwing each other under the bus. That's what they do. It's nothing to gain. You're just new here. You don't understand. She gains a point. If she can make Brynn look crazy and win that fight, she wins a point against Brynn. That's it. Yeah. So it was like,

here's my confusion. We talked about the time I can sort of I listened to her. So I don't understand why you're telling other people that I'm coming for you. And Raquel's like, Yeah, I mean, when you're having great conversations, everything is wonderful. Right? Of course, I understand. So, Uba's basically like, it's just not right that she's creating this conflict, and for no reason, I don't understand

what she gets out of it. So then we find that, so then it sounds like, okay, well, Erin's just being totally manipulative, she's calling Uba and being like, oh my God, Uba, you know, we're such friends, and then going and being like, I'm terrified of Uba, which is so funny because she has totally not learned her lesson from last season at all.

And then we cut to Erin, but then Erin's, Brynn of course is storing that again. She's like, so how are you in Uba? Because whenever I say I love Erin, which I say all the time, you know me, doesn't I love Erin, I love Erin. She's like, well, let me just tell you something about Erin. And Erin's like, why? What do you mean? Fucking Brynn. So then Brynn's like, well, Uba went through

this phase where she's like, she's a snake Brynn. She's a horrible person. And I think she thinks Erin is spoiled. Like she's just this little bitch who has everything. Well, yeah, we all think that. So, Aaron's like, well, but then after Raquel, she texted me and told me I was pathetic because I said, is she coming for me? And she's like, I don't know what's like what's real and what's fake. And this is just pathetic. So, that's kind of a thing that Uber leaves out too. It's like we talk all the time, but then also I text her these things. Yeah. You know, giant

text going in on her. So, Aaron's like, I mean, instead of her coming to me and saying, you know, hey, babe, how do you feel like I'm coming for you? What's going on? Is everything okay? I got a text calling me a gaslighter, empathetic and messy and blah, blah, blah. Erin always, you can't, you, you split,

went around this whole party being like, is Uba coming for me? You go to Uba. Uba's the, or Erin's the queen of starting something and being like, is Uba coming for me? You got Uba. It was the cool. Aaron's the queen of starting something and being like, Oh my god, I can't believe she reacted that way to me starting something. If you don't like me starting something, you should have reacted in a more polite way towards me. No, you were the one who started it. Okay, you don't

get to tell everybody how to react to your bullshit lady. So then Britain's like, it's a girl math, because nobody knows what girl math is even girls. Right. Like so that's not what girl math is. Girl, even I have TikTok enough to know that's not what girl math is. She's like, yeah, because you sent me me text and you got my face in public and so now she's coming for you. So we have two active volcanoes, one site and a bigger one, Mount Olympias.

And so now Uber's like, you know, her having this narrative that I'm coming for her, which is absolutely not true. But I have to tell you, it really hurts me. And Raquel's like, Yeah, right. I'm sure. Which is kind of what all Raquel says most of the episodes. Every episode is just Raquel. Yeah, no, right. Yeah, I'm sure. They're just whipping Raquel around. They're all telling her different stories. And she's like, who is telling the truth? Like, literally, everybody in this group says a different story than the person before them, right? So then Brynn's like, well, why don't you just go talk to her

and say the text is weird and why are you saying that I'm gonna come for you? And Erin's like, well, I wanna have a conversation with her but I just wish I could say to her, listen, you called me a liar, you called me a gas lighter. I thought we moved past it. But I feel like if I say that, she's gonna tell me I'm a piece of shit.

A new thing is gonna come up. It's like something new that I didn't even know about. No, because all this stuff is real, Aaron. It's not just stuff she's making up. Aaron is a gas lighter. You see what she's doing? Yeah. Best case scenario is Uba and I kumbaya

and hug each other and love each other like we should. Worst case is that this gets dragged out and we end up in a terrible fight. I would hate for that to happen. So Brynn's like, well guess what, I think they're like done screaming at me and I can like tell on their faces they're done so now they want to scream at you. And she's like, yeah, it's my turn. Yeah, you need my protection. She's like want to scream at you. And she's like, Yeah, it's my turn. Yeah, you need my protection. She's like, I'll protect you. You were just stoking the fire with Yuba last night.

Well, that's why because she wants people to stop yelling at her. She's like, go go yell at Aaron instead. Yeah, remember who the real villain is here. It's Aaron. Yeah. So back at size, Raquel's like, do you think it's worth speaking to Erin about these mixed messages? And it was like, no, no, she's a basic bitch. It's not worth it. It's really not worth it because I'm not going to get anywhere. And she's like, what do you mean you're not going to get anywhere? She's like, she's just going to tweet something. She's going to give me another story. Tweet something, meaning she's a pigeon, which is so funny. So size like, oh, my God my god I get where was coming from, you know

Because like even if she's even if you talk about she's like she's like listening but not understanding you get nowhere I just like she believes her own lies Yeah, yeah, don't fall for it. Don't fall for the trap then and sounds like it just sucks You can't be real with your friend and then we go back to city meals and Brins like And that's weird that we can't like talk about things because we're like afraid. It's like, is she in a good mood and tiptoeing around? Is she in the volcano gonna erupt on us?

Is something gonna rip my head off while we're on a girls trip? I've been talking about gaslighting right there. Wow, that's Brynn talking about Uber. Yeah, yeah, it's not great. So I'm not really liking this. I'm not liking this. So then Erin's just like, yeah, it's just so hypocritical.

Like you can call me a gaslighter and a liar and all these things, but then you say, is she coming for me? Like, yeah, but that's why she's calling you a gaslighter. No, she says, but I say, is she coming for me and I'm in trouble. She's saying that because... So anyway, whatever.

She's like, I love Uba, but I'm done. So Uba's like, I know what she's trying to do. She's trying to make whatever I've saying not to be credible. And now I have to be out like figuring out Puerto Rico. And so I was like, well, maybe you guys can talk in Puerto Rico because you know, trips bring everyone together. Remember last year? So it's so adorable whenever people think that they're going to go on a trip and heal. Bravo stopped doing that a long time ago. I feel like the last time Bravo tried to do that, that was like when like Cynthia Bailey hosted some sort of like ceremony by a beach and everyone

casted things into the ocean, everyone hugged afterwards and that lasted about 30 seconds of peace after that. Especially on this show, their history with trips is not great. Yeah, not great. Not great, but either way, that was the episode. So it looks like we've got the Puerto Rico trip coming up and it does look like it's gonna be a good trip. So I'm excited for that. Looks like they're gonna get into some stuff and I'm excited for whatever chaos emerges from that. Alright everybody, thanks for being with us. We'll talk to you next time. Bye! Watch What Crap Ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like We'll talk to you next time. Bye! Bye! Dana C, Dana Dukes Erin McNicholas She don't miss no trickles Jamie She has no less namey

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