Watch What Crappens - #2645 RHOSLC S5E12: I Like Big Bat Mitzvahs and I Cannot Lie

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

You know it’s a good episode when the entire thing takes place at one party, and The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City just gave us that. It’s Meredith’s Bat Mitzvah! The show manages to deliver a poignant ceremony with a healthy does of high-body-count hair, and we’d have it no other way. We all became adults tonight. Watch this recap as a video and get all of our bonus episodes over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch for Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today to become a man is Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hello Ben. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello. We are here today to talk about

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, a tremendous episode featuring Meredith's Bat Mitzvah. The entire episode took place there, which means that you know it's a good episode. Before we dive into that, in case you didn't hear it earlier this week, in case you missed it, tickets have just gone on sale

for the Mounting Hysteria Tour. That's our 2025 North American tour. We are coming to a city near you. We are so excited to be going back out on the road for the first time in two years in North America. And real quickly, let me tell you about the cities we're going to and hopefully you'll be able to visit us at one of them. We are starting in San Francisco, then San Diego, New York City for the golden crappies on February 1st, Salt Lake City, hello, Salt Lake City, Denver, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, DC, Philadelphia,

Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, and Dallas. And then hopefully that's all that we have right now. Hopefully we'll be able to add in a few more cities too, but we didn't want to hold up the announcement before we got some of that finalized. Also, we still do not have ticket links available for Austin, Dallas, and Charlotte, but we will get those up on our website as soon as possible.

All other ticket links though are at watchforkrapens.com. Hope to see you very soon, okay? Okay, Also, we just did a two part bonus episode on Patreon, a covering sold on SLC, which is the show that premiered right after this. It was a fun, nice, long recap. So go check that out on Patreon. And it's also where you get videos, which is what we're on right now. Okay. And if you don't want to pay, that's okay. You can get all the videos anyway a week later over on our YouTube, and that's also where we stream Crappy Hour Live every other Monday.

Okay, so let's get going with this bot mitzvah. Batty mitzvah. What a batty bot mitzvah, am I right? I mean, just crazy town. This episode was so good. I was like, ugh, ugh. I always get excited any time there's an episode that takes place at one event. We had that with the Bezos party to start off the season, but here we had

it. And this episode just had it all. There was touching moments. It was very lovely. The Bat Mitzvah was beautifully shot and everything. And then you just had hilarious, hilarious fighting at the end. When Angie said that Brittany had high body count hair, I mean, I just like nearly fell out of bed. It was just just perfection. So let's open up, Rabbi Ruth comes in. And I didn't understand that it was like that where you like have, I mean, I guess Meredith gets it separate, right? She's like, she didn't

have to go to Hebrew school with all the kids. I really would have appreciated her having to go to Hebrew school with all the kids. I really would have appreciated her having to go to Hebrew school with all the kids. I would have liked her to be like, Oh, really, Megan, you're going to Baruch HaTah before me? Listen here, I invented baths. So I mean, it would have been like that Adam Sandler movie where he has to go back to school in order to like receive his inheritance or something. Meredith marks being like with like second graders at school after school. I'm sorry, I forgot to bring my lunch today, but I did bring my filter. So just holding up like a piece of wax paper in front of her

face. Hello. Hello. Priscilla. We are the same age in preparation for my bat mitzvah, I have been working really hard on learning the Hebrew and blessings for the Torah portion. And we see Meredith just like in her bubble bath, practicing practicing like her haftorah in the bubble bath because she's really committed to both Hebrew and her bubble bath. She's also committed to those eyebrows, whatever the hell she's doing in that bathtub. I don't know who this was in the bathtub. I don't even think it was Meredith. It was somebody else.

You could tell by the eyebrows, cause those eyebrows were microbladed, sharpied on. I don't see how they came off cause we don't see them in the rest of the episode. But for this scene, they were really, really thick. They were like baby arms. And she was like, oh, I love you.

Caviar son, caviar set, caviar son. Chloe's just like, mom, I'm just like so fucking proud of you. You goddamn icon. You're like so good. I'm like so proud of you. I'm like so impressed. It was like amazing. You're on my Spotify wrapped. Meredith then tells us,

this is a very special time for me. Most people do this when they're very young and this is something I decided to do as an adult to affirm my faith, to affirm my spirituality and to affirm my toddler, who's gonna make the first ever baby made challah for the occasion. I'm really terrified,

cause I'm a sprain, I'm gonna scream. She's doing that like little girl talking through this whole episode, or she's like, it's just me having a botnets. So weird. So she's like, I think I'm ready, Ruth. And Ruth is like, it's going to be beautiful, Meredith. It's going to just be beautiful.

I wore my red glasses today. You've got nothing to worry about. So then Meredith goes outside to do family photos with Seth and Brooks and Chloe and the other one. And they all have their, they have these custom Yamakas. I mean, custom Yamakas is that's pretty standard when it comes to, you know, bar and bat mitzvahs. But they all say like Meredith Marks on it, but they're all, they're all wearing like black ones and Seth is gonna wear a pink one.

Cause he's like, he's kind of like leaning in actually now maybe a little too hard, like I'm an ally to my son. It's like, okay, kind of like leading in actually now maybe a little too hard, like, I'm an ally to my son. It's like, okay, we get it, we get it. So Brooks is like, um, dad, could you like change your Yamaka to a different color? Because it's like really ruining the vibe. The Yamaka's ruining the vibe. I cannot believe you called the other son the other one.

His name is Reed and he's hot. So can we not other the other one? He's very private. I love him. He's private. Can we just look him up and read every detail about his on the air because he's so private. It's so hot.

Let's just add him about everything. Guys, Reed likes T-bones. The stakes. I read about it. It's so cute. Very excited for Reed. Reed is like the third Manning brother. So Meredith is doing a photo and she's like,

I feel so fortunate because my family is here today to celebrate. My mother's here, my sister's here, my oldest son Reed came in, he lives in New York, he's very private as Ronnie just noticed, and we're all gonna put our hand on a lemon later today and slice it into three parts. It's gonna be an exciting moment. All my family's here. A bean salad came. It's a huge thing for just me, young Meredith Maxx.

So then we see the bat mitzvah set up and Heather and Georgia arrive. Heather's wearing some weird, like loose flapper dress, like flapper caftan, it looks like a flapper dress on one part, but then a muumuu over the flapper dress, but it's also, I'm not really sure what she's doing, I'm just gonna chalk this up to, she doesn't know yet. Like she hasn't figured it out yet, you know? Cause like when you change sizes, it takes a minute.

And maybe she's just figuring this one out, I don't know. Needs help, you know? Cause like when you change sizes, it takes a minute. And maybe she's just figuring this one out. I don't know. It needs help, a belt? None of them. Well, she says, growing up in Denver, we had a pretty big Jewish community. And I went to a lot of Bat Mitzvahs. It was like the only place I could go

without a Bolero jacket and I wouldn't be judged. And it was like the time of my life, you know, where you just get dressed up and it was our first time out in the world. And I'd come home with these little booklets and practice reading prayers, but the Jewish community in Salt Lake City is tiny and I have not been to a bar mitzvah since I was 13, so I can't wait to watch it with an adult perspective.

We have different thoughts of bar mitzvahs in my family. One because they, when my bestie was, you know, bar mitzvahing, I suddenly started demanding more things for my birthdays because those kids get everything. I mean, Bar Mitzvah is no, this is the tamest Bar Mitzvah I've ever seen in my life. It's like, what are they in a party room of a hotel? I mean, it's ridiculous. Most of them are like, you know, fairs. And like, as you know, like, who am I telling? I'm telling a pro over there. I'm telling one of the chosen people, but they're crazy events. So I was like, why is my birthday party in a bowling alley? The fuck, man?

Well, this is pretty on par for like an adult bar mitzvah, of course, because or bat mitzvah, because of obviously adults. I feel like growing up the bar and bat mitzvahs that I went to, and that I even had for myself, were like, they were like, there were big events but they weren't crazy. It was like, there would be the ceremony and then usually like you'd rent out like a restaurant or like some sort of event space. There'd be a DJ, there'd be dancing, it'd be really fun. But it's more like after, like when I went out into the world, I discovered this, there is this whole world of over the top, you know, bar and bat mitzvahs. And I went to one here in LA that was out of control.

I mean, they rented out the equestrian center, the Burbank Equestrian Center, and they had tent after tent, and like there was an adult tent, there was a kid's tent, there was like dance dance revolution, there was a fondue area, there was like a band, there was a DJ, there was, it just was out of control because the parents were divorcing. And so the kids were able to be like,

they were competing to make, it was, there was sushi. It was unbelievable. I mean, I do think, yeah, it was wild. It was really wild. Mine was just like, we rented out a restaurant called Lavanos in White Plains, New York, and we had a DJ.

And to this day, I remember how angry my mom was We rented out a restaurant called Lavanos in White Plains, New York, and we had a DJ. And to this day, I remember how angry my mom was because my mom wanted the last song of the day to be New York, New York, and the DJ played Mony Mony instead. And my mom was like, he didn't play New York, New York. I always remember that. It's a double word repeated, you know?

It's a word repeated. So maybe it's just like, ah, I'll just give her another word that's repeated. Money, money. Yes. Yeah, mine. I didn't have one, obviously. But I wanted a better birthday. And my mom's like, you're not getting one. It's the bowling alley. And she's like, you painted the bowling alley stands. Aren't you? The bowling ball stands. Aren't you proud of that? Don't you want to show

your friends? I was like, No, I don't want to show my fucking friends that I painted all the bowling alleys, the bowling ball stands. It sucks. I want to show your friends? I was like, no, I don't want to show my fucking friends that I painted all the bowling alleys, the bowling ball stands, it sucks. I want to be Jewish. And she's like, Ronnie, you won't even pray in English. You think you're going to learn a whole other language to pray in? Get the fuck out of here.

You're not becoming Jewish. They wouldn't have you. I was like, okay, geez. So I got screwed out of that one. So every time I see one, I'm like, God, these are so amazing. I got screwed. But also one. So every time I see one, I'm like, God, these are so amazing. I got screwed. But also, why aren't they bowling? So Georgia is with Heather,

and basically Heather orders an espresso martini. And Heather's like, I have so much faith in Meredith's religious ceremony that I'm willing to order an espresso martini for the first time since Palm Springs. And then we see flashbacks of Heather last year getting wasted on espresso martinis. They did not, however, show the footage of the vomit. The endless vomit.

Down the sides of the Sprinter van. Yeah, the turning moment in that movie about the kids who go to that stadium and then stand by me when everybody bars on each other in the stadium, remember? I never to that stadium and then, oh, Stand By Me, when everybody bars on each other in the stadium, remember? It was like that. It was like unprecedented levels of barfing. And everyone's saying that the editors have turned on

Heather this season and she's getting a bad edit. I don't think so, because they would have showed all of that. Yeah. All right, they would have shown all of that. So then Heather's like, the first time I sipped alcohol was in a bar mitzvah. What do you think of that?

And her kid's like, oh God, can I just be left alone? They had an open bar. I mean, they were making fuzzy navels, which is like peach schnapps, ornate, I mean, it was just so good. I knew it was bad, but it tasted delicious. And it was like, ah. They tried to excommunicate me that way.

I held on, I held on. So then more people start to arrive, Bronwyn and Todd, Lisa, et cetera. And Whitney and Justin show up and have those like, hi roses, okay, to a different religious ceremony, okay, best together, best friends together, or back together, and I'm back on the espresso martini because everyone knows espresso martinis are my thing.

And then I stopped famously after that night. We all know that's like pretty much a part of pop culture, right? It's up there with like receipts proof timeline. Am I right? Me and espresso martinis, no one? Why is no one like impressed that I'm drinking espresso martinis right now?

This is what we do at Bot Minstrel Fest. You eat, you drink, you be merry. And she's like, why do you look so glam, Whitney? And Whitney's like, I mean, I didn't know what to do. And she's very Ivana Trump, like she has Ivana Trump hair and a big black fur coat. And we find out that these theme was diamonds and caviar, which is hilarious that Meredith is branding her own fucking bar mitzvah as selling caviar as well. That's very Meredith. She's like, well, it's gonna be a caviar bar mitzvah.

And Bronwyn's in the bikini top. I'm not really sure what's happening. She's in like a glitter bikini top and some glitter pants. Yeah, and there's like still snow on the ground. So when he tells us, I have been so frustrated since camp day. I was really trying to get to know Bronwyn until she twisted my words and made it seem like

I said all these awful things about Heather, but life is all about intentions. And right now I do not trust Bronwyn's intentions. Yeah, so she comes in and she's sort of ignoring Bronwyn because I think that what happened is that Bronwyn and Lisa sort of like buried the hatchet but like in return to getting back on course Lisa probably made a request of Bronwyn like but you have to hate Whitney you have to hate Whitney too so that's maybe maybe that's why Bronwyn liked it this pivot where suddenly she threw Whitney under the bus

about Heather instead of the other way around. No, no. Bronwyn doesn't need any pushing. She's a betrayer. She's loyal to nobody. She does it multiple times in this episode alone. She doesn't care. She's like, I'm sick of, you know, that fight's over.

I need to have another fight right now. So I'm gonna throw that person under the bus, you know? She's actually Heather on the bus, you know? She's actually Heather on steroids, where you know how Heather is purposely getting people in fights and then standing back. She's like Heather on steroids where she's just purposely getting people in fights and she admits it, but then she still stands back because they don't even care that she admitted it.

They just keep fighting each other anyway. Like Angie totally falls into the pit by the end of this episode. The turn, Bronwyn's turn is a little out of control and I do think that this is, this is not going to be sustainable. And I think she has a lot of goodwill at this point in the season, but I do think she's going to squander it if she winds up just being someone who just like, just keeps on betraying over and over again, because it's, we'll get to it, but later on was pretty wild. Very wild in terms of like the speed. So the hairpin turn was pretty intense.

What's crazy is she's kind of making Heather correct. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, maybe. So we'll see, time will tell. So then let's see, Whitney's like, I noticed you have been getting more daring with your nails. And then Brittany's like, oh my God,

I'm trying to follow your nails. Look how gorgeous your nails are. And they're looking at each other's nails. And then Bronwyn just looks over at them and like rolls her eyes like, ew. She's like, God, do you do that? Lisa, do you put gems all over your nails, Lisa? Do you, do you? Yeah, no, I don't do that. It's a your nails, Lisa? Do you? Do you?

Yeah, no, I don't do that. It's a little bridging tunnel, you know? Maybe she's like bridging tunnel. I love the term bridging tunnel. That's so funny. Every New Yorker knows that term. And cause George is like, I don't even know what bridging tunnel means.

We do. Yeah. Although in LA we have five and dimers. You know about five and dimers, right? Instead of- I don't know what a five and dimer is. What's that? It's so mean.

It's that like, you have to take either the five or the 10 freeway to get to the city so you're a five and dimer. Because there's no bridge and tunnels in LA. So the replacement is five and dimer. You come into LA from either the five or the 10. On the hill, Billy. So then Angie is like, well, things have been a little intense with Meredith and me. So I was a little surprised to get an invite, but I'm looking at this as a path forward and being religious myself. This is a great way to connect. So Brahwyn's like, well, I'm not in a good place with Whitney or with Ant. No, with, yeah,

with Whitney or with Angie. And I don't appreciate being called a liar for telling the truth. Yeah. I'm, I still don't really remember why things went so bad with Bronwyn and Angie. I know they got into a fight last week at camp day, but it was like Angie was saying that that Angie was basically saying that Whitney was was throwing Heather under the bus and then and then I'm sorry Bronwyn was saying that Whitney was throwing Heather under the bus and then Angie got all upset during that. And I just don't understand why that was. And now they're in a big fight.

Because Bronwyn was sticking her nose in it and trying to cause more shit when there was already shit going on and trying to make Angie look bad for things that she had said because Bronwyn was sticking her nose in it and trying to cause more shit when there was already shit going on and trying to make Angie look bad for things that she had said, because Bronwyn's basically like, hey, girls want to gossip? And then they do. And then she runs and she's like, guess what Angie said about you? She just twists it makes them all look terrible. I mean, she's really she's really overplayed her hand. I've never seen anybody turn this quickly. I mean, I've never seen anybody turn this quickly. I mean, it usually takes a while. And this is a show where they turn quickly. Like this show already, like everyone turns very quickly on this show, but Bronwyn is really going fast. So by the way, we forgot to mention that Melee has arrived.

So that's exciting. So maybe they'll bring back like Dana from season three or Dana, I should say. Dana and Melee, big impactful people. So Bronwyn is like, she's like, yeah, I'm not a good place with Whitney or Angie. And I didn't appreciate being called a liar for telling the truth.

And I really do not appreciate being told to shut the fuck up. So until Angie wants to come to me with the word I'm sorry, we don't have a lot of time to say to each other right now. We really don't. Oh my God. She's gonna request another apology. That's, that is so Bronwyn.

Every episode is gonna be Bronwyn just making someone apologize. So then Bronwyn is now standing with Brittany and Melee because she's pissed off everybody else in the cast. She's really down to the B string now. She's down to friends of. So she's over there and Brom was like, so have you guys seen anyone since camping?

Have you seen Mary? Doodledoo, doodledoo, is Mary coming tonight? And then we see a flashback to Angie talking to Mary at her house. And they're talking about Meredith and she's like, well, I don't know if I'm gonna go because like I'm more concerned with my family. And she starts crying and Angie's like, is, I don't know if I'm going to go because, um, like I'm more concerned with my family. And she starts crying and Angie's like, uh, is everything okay? But Mary doesn't

let her in on what's going on with Robert Jr. Yeah. Mary, um, has like a little monologue about how, um, you know, she's really turning to God right now for help. She, this is what's happening with Robert. She doesn't even, she, it's interesting. She can't even really articulate it. She doesn't even say like drug issues. She just sort of vaguely says what's going on with him. It's like her worst nightmare and she just never thought it was going to happen in her household. And she's just asking, turning to God and asking God for help. But what she's saying to Angie is she's just focusing on her family and she's like crying. Angie's like, look, know Angie's like look if there's anything you need from me I'm here when you're ready. It's time for a commercial. It's

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Yeah. So, Brittany is like, wow, Bronwyn's the dumping ground. So then Angie and Whitney are standing together and Angie's like, well, I just got a little snub from Bronwyn. Yeah, those are like weird vibes, mafia vibes. And then they're like laughing because they're both wearing like black furs So they're looking more mafioso than than all the other people there So I'm back to the other girls Brittany's like well, I'm still upset with Angie for calling me a slut Like I mean she said you're sleeping with ten guys. No, she didn't say that and you said you were dating ten guys Wasn't she the one who was like, well, I'm like dating 10 guys, what do I care? And they're like, what?

That's what Angie was commenting on. And now she's making it to Angie said she fucked 10 guys. No, she said you're fucking three guys, which isn't great. But you were the one who said you were dating 10 guys. I remember it, it was just last week. I believe the words were not fucking. I believe the words were you're doing three guys. You're doing.

You're doing. You're doing three guys. You're doing. You're doing. You're doing three guys. Hey, that could mean many things. Doing could mean you're going to get some soda at one of the Utah soda places. Doesn't have to mean fucking. You gotta love Brittany. I'm dating like 10 guys right now.

Who cares? That's me, Brittany, dating 10 guys. And someone's like, oh my God, you're doing so many guys. And she's like, how dare you slut shame me? Girl, you put it into evidence. What are you objecting to? Sustained, sit down. And Mailey's like, no, overruled, overruled, sit down.

Overruled. So then Brittany's like, I really think that if she's accusing me of that, it's probably because that's what she was doing with Sean. And Mailey's like, oh, what? I know, sorry, Mailey, it's scandalous. I'm just going to say it. It's extra offensive to be accusing me of that when it's like so sensitive to my religion

and my beliefs and to the Osmond family, you know? And Bron was like, yeah, she did say that. She did. She did. So then Brittany's very upset and Angie is like, does Angie, wait, who says this? Does Angie know, oh, Bronwyn's like, does Angie know how Mormon you are though? Because she thought you had, she brought you the wine and now she says that you're sleeping with people. Maybe she just doesn't think you're that Mormon.

I was like, ooh, that's really fighting words in this town. And Brittany's like, Ooh, that's really fighting words in this town. And Brittany's like, No, she knows. I mean, look, I think that I'm, I'm just trying to work my way into the Osmond family. And really only hardcore Mormons care about that. So it's pretty obvious. I'm very, very Mormon. And Bronwyn's like, Well, I've noticed that in a group setting, and she really likes to pick on people in front of other people. She'll like big up them, you know, she has like the scroll at peso. She kicks the chair in Milwaukee.

She, okay, lady, you're the one wearing hot dogs. You know what I mean? Like you calling anybody attention whore is rich, madam. Okay. You showed up in a bikini in 20 degree weather on your first episode. And, um, you know, the, she know, she told me to shut the fuck up 7,000 times, okay, Miss Non-Exaggerator. I can't with her.

You've read the rest of this one. Yeah. That being said, I really did enjoy the montage of Angie's strange prop work, because Angie does have really awkwardly time. We get a nice one later this episode, but when she did knock over that chair or like The chair was so funny because she just kicks backward. It's like

And later on the napkin is just so like it's just like this very clunky prop work that she does It's always like it's brilliant. She never she never does it at the right time She does it at the time that she remembers that she has a prop that she can use. And she's just like, okay, I'll just do it now. That's why it's funny. Like she doesn't know her lines for any episode. Like she's just gotten mouth book for the episode. She's like, you know what you have done

to me is so offensive that I have a daughter. It's like kick, kick over a chair. They're bad at it on this show. Remember when Lisa Barlow was like, I'm gonna throw a drink. Blah. And she just like kind of tossed it. Like probably fell on her shoulder.

Yeah. So we, yeah, that was really, that was at the Bezos party, right? Yeah. So now the guest from Mingling and Meredith's sister Myra shows up and Myra meets Angie and Whitney and they're just like schmoozing and then this horse drawn sleigh starts arriving through the snow.

We keep cutting to it as if like a serial killer is about to arrive and Lisa is talking to Myra and Lisa is like, this is so exciting. I love that Meredith decided to do this. And Myra was like, can you believe this is hard work? I know. That's like so appropriate for right now. Cause like, guess what? We just found out my husband's adopted

and that he's Jewish Jew. Oh, yeah. His dad is a Russian and a German. I love that, Joe. They're like special German Jews. They're Germans who love that. And she's like, and now his mom. And she's like, his mom is just like some blonde girl,

some blonde haired girl from Arizona. She's not Jewish. Let's not talk about her. Yeah, it's not as interesting. So did you hear this thing that happened? I'm going to bring up a couple after show things in this because I've seen clips on them and they're so funny. Well, this one is that Lisa found out that her husband was adopted and she's like, I want to find out who your family like who your birth parents are. And he's like, please don't do that.

I really don't want you to do that. And she did it anyway. She went back and did it, which is just so don't want you to do that. And she did it anyway. She went mindless back and did it, which is just so Lisa, like I can't even. And now she's like going around telling everybody against his wishes. I'm sorry to laugh, but it's just so wrong. It's so wrong to do that. I'll tell you the other one later. Okay. So now the sleigh is coming and Heather's like, wait, is that really Meredith? Meredith, I'm having an espresso martini! So, their whole family arrives on the sleigh, and Meredith is like, well I don't usually make a grand entrance, I really don't, but this is a very special day, and I wanted to do something that would be definitely memorable, and it turns out I found

a sleigh that actually has toddler seats, so I knew it was safe for little Brooksie, so here we are, it's a sleigh, pun intended. What's his, Brooks and Chloe are just in the back going, sleigh, sleigh badge, sleigh badge, sleigh mother, sleigh icon, sleigh. Can we get in the car? It's like cold. It's stupid.

Yeah, I'm over it. Yeah, me too. Let's go. Bye. Hello everybody. My little tongue. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. First thing I'm gonna go is Meredith.

And she's like, well, given all of the issues, given all of the issues I've had with Aunt G's surprise lately, it's surprising to me that she wanted to come. Well, I'm happy that she did because today is about inclusivity and positivity and togetherness and county are just what Moses parted the Red Sea for. So here we are. So they're very nice to each other, very cordial, everyone goes inside and pretty much everyone's there except for Mary. Mary, because we're wondering if Mary's gonna be there. So then the ceremony begins and it's

very, very lovely, you know, the rabbi is speaking Hebrew and welcoming everyone in and there's praying, there's stuff, there's like, there's reading from the Torah and there's tears and there's smiles and everyone's everyone's everyone's watching the everything and and and also Meredith puts on Seth's talus or to delete and We see a flashback because earlier Seth is like, can I give you my to lead for the bar mitzvah? I don't know where yours. Yeah. Also, I don't want to get in the cake when I When I lick Whitney's nipples. By the way, I got another Whitney nipple cake

for your bat mitzvah, hope you don't mind. The bat mitzvah Whitney nipple cake. Well, what an incredible way to bond with Seth wearing his scarf from his bar mitzvah. This one smells a little bit like crusty socks, if you know what I mean, and some very cheap wine, but he was a teenager, so I will forgive him, and I will get my mitzvahed.

And so the ceremony's continuing on, and Lisa's like crying, and she's like, you know, being Jewish by heritage, I love the Jewish faith, even though I voluntarily left it and I'm lucky that's a part of me. And like, I think it's like really important to remember your heritage and where you came from and that you know that your mom is not from Arizona. Sorry, John.

Anyway, now I feel even closer to Meredith and I couldn't be more proud of her. Ah! So now Seth is crying. He's like, this is beautiful. And then they do the Torah and Meredith sits for a moment and Mary pulls up outside.

Dun dun, dun dun dun dun. And she's like, you know, with everything going on with Robert Jr. I didn't know if I was gonna come, And she's like, you know, with everything going on with Robert Jr., I didn't know if I was gonna come, but it's important, it's important. It's important to Meredith, so it's important to me. So she's decided they're gonna make up. Unfortunately, she's late, and she doesn't know

how doors work, because she can't find it. This is the sort of place that everything looks like a door, but it's actually a window, and it seems like they've blacked out the door for production. So Mary is trying to get into this spot. And what's so funny is like this but it's where they're presenting it very respectfully. Like it's not they're not being jokey about it. It's like a you know, it's it's it's been given like appropriate gravitas and meaningfulness,

etc. But Mary comes and she's trying to get in and she's confused and I think that she can't see through any of the windows because I think they're all blacked out or like something. So she's peering in and Meredith is like, they're by the window like raising the Torah and everything and Mary is in there at the,

it's not just that she's on the side, she is at the front like under the Torah. She's like basically on the stage, looking through. It's like one of the funniest sidekicks I've ever had on this show. So funny. So Brittany's like, oh my God, she's really late. Oh God, she's peeking through the window.

And so the ceremony continues and Mary's just like feeling the walls. Like, how do I get in? How do I get in? How do I get in here? So Meredith is now giving a speech with Mary in the background, like whatever. So Meredith is like, well, I didn't have the potmints for growing up and for most of my life that didn't bother me.

Sorry. Hold on. I'm having a little bit of a minute. But she's crying. Do you know how difficult it is being 13 years old and being the only girl who didn't have a cotton candy machine at your birthday. Hold on. So she talks about how as anti-Semitism has, you know, been on the rise, she's felt like

it was really important for her to publicly affirm her Judaism and gather her family and friends and that she just wants to gather everyone, Jewish, Mormon, Christian, Muslim, Gay, straight, etc. and bring the world together, make the world a better place. It's, you know, and all that nice stuff. So, it's like this as a spiritual journey and I feel a stronger connection to my Jewish heritage now. And so now, you know, now they do some more singing and Mary's made it in by now, you know. And so now it's time for the party.

So Mary walks up to Heather, she goes, "'Wow, you look smaller." And Heather asked the bartender, she's like, "'Okay, can I have the most caloric drink ever? "'Because for the first time in history, "'Mary wants to fat me up. And Mary's like, kinda. Mary's the worst because she is definitely

one of those people that's like, you're fat, you're fat, you're fat, you're fat, you're fat, and then you lose weight and they're like, you sick? You sick? What's wrong with you? You look terrible. You lost too much weight. Fuck off, it was due to your bullying.

Yeah, so then Mary goes up to Meredith's mom. And Meredith's mom sort of looks like, not sure, Terry, but what's her name? Mindy, you know what? She's an improv person, you know her. From Dr. Evil's assistant. Yeah, she sort of looks like that. From Austin Powers, yeah.

And I just love the Meredith voice. We hear it in Myra, but then we hear Origin's story as the mom. And she's like, well, hello, I'm Meredith's mother. How are you? Nice to meet you. Which was great. I was like, it's just in the family.

Yeah. And I like that people are like, oh, hi. Mary's like, oh, hi, I'm Mary. And she goes, uh hi, like Mary's like, oh hi, I'm Mary. And she goes, uh huh. She's like, good to meet you. Everybody's introducing themselves. And Meredith's mom is like, I don't know any of you people. I'm not watching this trash.

I'm busy. Yeah. And then Heather introduces Bronwyn to her plastic surgeon who is there. And then Angie. This guy really does have plastic surgeon face too. He looks like a muppet. A very cute muppet.

Yeah. And then Angie's now talking to Lisa. She's like, I was going to tell you, I am Greek, just in case you forgot. And I need to talk to you about Bronwyn. I can sense she's like, upset. Yeah, I feel like she's upset. Yeah, so if she has, you know, a thing with me,

I don't want that to get between you and I. And Lisa's like, I didn't like what we weren't talking. She's like, me neither. It was a void, a void in my life. I am Greek. There was a void in my life too. And it wasn't just a rock. Ha ha ha, ha.

And then Mary approaches and she's talking to Meredith. And so Meredith is doing that like real tight smile and nod thing where she's like, and Mary is like, listen, let's talk. I've never had a friend walk out of my house and my friends don't treat me like that. Not my real ones. And I know this is your night and I don't wanna fight, but, and Meredith is like, well, I'm sorry, I hurt your feelings by leaving. That's all we needed. Yeah, and Mary's like,

and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings by making you feel like you weren't welcome. And so they basically hug. Look at that guys, it's the abutments of a miracle. Yeah, they basically hug and they realize it's just all so silly and stupid, which was really nice. It was actually, I was actually really happy

that they reconciled. And then we go over to Brittany and Heather, and Heather's talking to Brittany, and Heather's like, I think the fact that she came, that Mary came and they're even talking is honestly mind-blowing, almost as mind-blowing as the fact that I'm back on the espresso martini train. Oh my God, someone release a press release

to page six, Heather's drinking martinis again. So then we move over to Amge asking Bronwyn to talk. Dun dun dun dun. Oh no, first we see Brooke sitting with his grandma and aunt and one of them's like, I've never had this. He's like, Raclette? Yeah, I've never had it. You've never had Raclette?

No, have you? No, I haven't had Raclette either. Well, I haven't had it. Well, I've never had it. What does it even mean? Does it kick? Does it kick? Not Rockette, it's Raclette.

Like, that's ridiculous. It's like fairly normal. Like grandma, like no offense, like you it's Raclette. Like it's ridiculous. It's like fairly normal. Like grandma, like no offense. Like you not knowing Raclette, it's like kind of ruining the vibe. You're just gonna say, yeah, grandma, if you don't know Raclette, you're probably gonna have to leave.

I can't believe grandma doesn't know about Raclette. It's like gross. You're a pink yarmulke, I'm a sea of black, you're back. Wait a minute. Everyone knows about Raclette. It's like crazy. You get over here. I'm going to spank your bottom. Don't give ash toddlers. So Bronwyn and Angie are going to have a talk. And I foolishly thought this was actually on the heels of Mary and and

Meredith having a productive discussion that was nice. I thought, oh, the spirit of a bat mitzvah. It's like, you know, this is like a religious event. It's momentous. It's happy. You know, like, it's going to spill over now into Angie and Bronwyn. What could go wrong? And this will be a lovely episode. And so, as Angie also has the attitude of like, I'm going to go fix it. This is silly. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. So she goes over there thinking this is going to be an easy talk. So Bronwyn's like, I'm gonna go fix it, this is silly. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So she goes over there thinking this is gonna be an easy talk. So Bronwyn's like, um, a talk, yes, argue, everything else? No. She goes, what is everything else? Well, I mean, it's a bat mitzvah, so I wanna be respectful, yes, yes.

Okay, so what's going on? She's like, well, always start with a compliment, love your outfit, love your purse, all of your sparkles. She goes, oh, is step two an apology? Apology, yes. And she's like, do I owe an apology? And she's like, yeah, I would think so, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And just like, I was thinking the same. Oh my god, that fucking nodding head. I swear to you, that nodding head, it started as like a little thing that bugged me and now it's just like making my whole face itch. I'm like, stop nodding your head. I do not agree with you. Stop assuming agreement.

I will not comply with you. She's like, will you think I owe you an apology? And Angie's like, you know what? Things got heated and it definitely ended on a bad note. And I feel like you twisted something that I said, and you know, she was like, oh, did I twist the 7,000 times that you told me to shut the fuck up?

That is twisting it, saying 7,000 times. That is literally twisting it. And Angie goes, no, I said it. She goes, but you and I both know telling me to shut the fuck up at that many times is out of line. And until I get an apology from you, there is nothing further for us to say to each other.

Do whatever the fuck you want, but not with me, Angie. Not with me. I'm like, whoa, why are you coming in so hot on Angie? Come on. Muff her, Angie. Listen, you've tried it with every person in the cast, but now you're coming for Angie. She is an international treasure. I am Greek. How dare you? Yeah, okay, you've tried it with every person in the cast, but now you're coming for Angie. She is an international treasure

I am Greek. How dare you? Yeah, okay. You know what you better you better take a step back Lava Okay, because that is Angie. Okay, and and I I am loving ramen this season but you know what though there's a packing order here and I'm gonna need you and Angie to be friends because I like the Angie and Bronwyn like duo thing that they had for most of The season so the fact that it's falling apart is very upsetting to me and I just don't understand Like you can ask for an apology for being told shut the fuck up But you can also hear someone when they say that they want an apology and also you don't have to come in that hot Like why?

Fuck up and you needed to shut the fuck up and I like that she gets on her like why are you getting so hot? Also, she was telling you to shut the fuck up and you needed to shut the fuck up. I like that she gets on her like, why are you allowed to curse but nobody else is? Because Ronwin has a filthy mouth, but then everybody else is like, how dare you curse around a lady? It's like, shut up, lady. This is pedothetic and I won't have it. Commercials, here comes one right now. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. right now. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season.

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Spotify or Apple podcasts. So Angie's, so she's like, well, why does it make you feel good? If I does it make you feel good? I will say I'm sorry, I told you to shut the fuck up. She was and that is not an apology and that is not an apology. You know what, and that's not it. That's not it. I actually thought it was to be honest,

when she says, so does it make you feel good if I say, sorry, I told you to say shut the fuck up. I was like, I feel like that was actually the first step of an apology. So Angie's like, she's like, Bronwyn, don't walk away. You know what? That's just cheap. That's just cheap. Bronwyn's like, oh, I'm cheap now.

I'm cheap. Should I say you're cheap? I said, is the easy way to walk? Oh, so now I'm cheap. So Angie's like're cheap? I said, is the easy way to walk out. Oh, so now I'm cheap. So Angie's like, well, if you are going to ask for an apology and someone gives it to you, then you better learn how to fucking take it. Angie's like, you know what?

You put me in a bad position. You tried to make things much worse between me, Heather, Whitney, and Lisa and everyone than it needed to be, because that's not true. Okay, you know, Angie, I'm not doing this. I am not going to do this. So Angie's like, you are spinning the story. Because now Angie's activated. Because once Angie's activated, then she's like on level 12. Angie will go low with your ass. Like, you know, Bronwyn doesn't know what's coming for her. She's fucking with every single person on this cast and they're treating her with kid gloves because she's new, but they will crush her.

I don't care how much money she has. So Bronwyn's like, by the way, you're the one who said that she's fucking 10 guys at once, right, right, right. I'm like, are you on a bumpy road in a pioneer wagon? Stop nodding your head. Angie goes, I didn't say 10, who said 10? And Bronwyn's like, Brittany is telling me you said 10.

And Angie's like, did I say 10? Sorry, honey, I said three. And Braum's like, oh, so that's much better, which is kind of funny, because I like it's like, I didn't say she was sleeping with 10 people, only three different people. Yeah, I'm Brittany. No one, it makes me crazy that no one's bringing up

the fact that Brittany said she was dating 10 guys. So, Angie's like, and you think you're funny with your jabs? And she's like, I'm not funny. I'm just honest. I love someone who hides behind that. It's just honesty. It's not you aren't mean you do things to hurt people's feelings. Thomas like your language was out of control is over the top. And so then Angie's like, but you say bullshit. You say fuck you say dick. I'm not gonna ride your fucking dick. Like it's my job. Remember when you said that rolled the clip last week

She said the c-word. So there you go. That's right. So then Angie is like you're just you're fucking crass and disgusting and brah was like a but did I scream in your face? Because the more you accuse me of the more rules I'm gonna make it up so that you're gonna I'm gonna make up more rules So that you can be wrong in every sentence. Every sentence I'll just make up a new rule. Because now it's not about cursing, it's screaming while you're cursing. And she's like, well, I don't talk about writing in with dick at least. And she goes, oh, really?

And how many times do I say things? And she's like, you have crass nasty language all the time and you're offended. And she goes, but you scream in my face. Okay, let's just change the argument no losing the word fuck offends you when you say dick every five seconds you know what when someone unhinged yells at me to shut yes i shut the fuck up yes yes then Todd walks over because he sees that Bronwyn is like everyone sees that they're fighting so brought Todd walks over like hey honey he's like, I think it's time for another drink

Um, how would you like another glass of wine Angie because he's just trying to diffuse and Brom was like you don't need to bring Someone who calls me a liar don't cause me a liar a drink Todd He's like I know I'm just trying to defuse this situation Angie, I mean Bronwyn. If waiters only served grateful people, the Cracker Barrel would be empty of waiters. If you ever seen someone in there ordering a Mac

and she's a bunch of damn heathens. So she's mad at Todd now for being nice to Angie. And so she's still going and Angie tries playing then Angie tries playing Todd against Bromwell, which is really funny. She's like, thank you, Todd. Todd is being so nice. Todd loves me. Thank you, Todd.

I'm going to sit on Todd's lap. Here's what I want for a great Christmas. And Bromwell was like, you don't dare look me in the face and apologize to me. She's like, I said, I am sorry. I told you to shut the fuck up. Todd's just like, oh my God, I can't believe they're using the F word.

Bromance like, so you want to give another bullshit apology to Todd, go for it. But I haven't heard a single one out of you that was worthwhile Angie. And Angie's like, Todd, you're the best. Love you Todd. So Bromance, so Todd brings Bromance, takes Bromance out of the way.

Todd is like rice wrapped in grape leaves. Love you, Todd. Todd's mortified. He hates all this. So Bronwyn walks by Lisa, Mellie, and Brittany. And so Mellie is like, I'm fine. Thank you for asking Mellie. Todd's like, well, honey, you weren't even giving me a chance to defuse the situation. Come on, I was gonna give her a pump pilot.

And she's like, all she hears, Todd, is you telling her that everything is fine, Todd, you understand? And he's like, oh, well, that's not what I was trying to say. Hey, lady, you can't speak a syllable than anybody could understand could you walk over there stare at a wall you Blair Witch project I can't take it now listen to me here all right he literally dismisses Mellie he's like Mellie he's like get out of here excuse me one minute he's just like oh go learn to make a sentence mumble mouth She's like, Oh, go learn to make a sentence mumble mouth.

Brom was like, you're being very nice. And I appreciate you being respectful of other women. Oh, but all they hear is that you're sticking up for them. What is Brom talking about? He was not sticking up for anyone. He was coming in because you were making a scene at a bat mitzvah and like murders mom is there, her kids are there, and you're making a fool of yourself, and he's trying to get you the hell out of there and save you.

I know, but she's looking at it as like, he's not having my back as my husband, and he shouldn't be coming over trying to smooth things over with Angie. He should be over there trying to smooth things over with me and getting me away from him. And you know, I mean, I kind of get that. But, I mean, she's wrong,

but I kind of see what she's doing. And so he's like, well, kind of see what she's doing. And so he's like, well, that's not what I was trying to do. Unbelievable. And so she's like, I'll have an espresso martini, which, you know, really pisses him off. Cause it's like, oh, now she's going to be a drunk, loose woman.

So she's like, I told her 10 times. If there wasn't an apology, I wasn't interested, Todd. And he's like, so why'd you stay? Why'd you, why didn't you walk away then? There's no winning. If I tell the truth, I'm a liar. If I tell a lie, I'm being just plus this. And you know, people like, it's just like,

none of them can own their own shit that they say to themselves. And then they like walk away and Bronwyn basically turns to the bartender and is like, well, I'm sorry you had to overhear our therapy lesson. You don't get paid enough for that. And I did not tip, sorry, bye. Yeah, and so then Angie and Sean are talking and Angie's going off. hear our therapy lesson, you don't get paid enough for that. And I did not tip, sorry, bye. Yeah.

And so then Angie and Sean are talking and Angie's going off and she's like, she is trying to make me look bad. And he's like, what did Meredith Mark say about it? Is she here? Do you think there's anywhere I can angle myself to get a picture with her? Mary, do you do exorcisms? She's like, no girl. So then, um, Whitney, when Whitney is like, wait a second.

Everyone's having fun arguments. Not me though. Okay, hey, Heather, we need to talk about what Bronwyn was saying at camp nine, day. Camp day. Listen, I don't think there's anything to discuss. I know Bronwyn was spinning her yawn about you guys, kiki-ing about how you're not my friend, but it's not a big deal.

We're still good, right? When we're cousins. So she's like, whatever. Whitney talks behind my back all the time. I don't give a shit. I'm not going to fight with Whitney for some new girl, right? So then Lisa comes over and she's like, what's happening? I never said I want wanna take down Heather.

Bronwyn is telling me that I'm a Lisa. You know what's hard? You know what's hard, Betany? Wait, why, will you let, will you, will you fucking let me speak? Don't talk to me like that. Don't talk to me like that. Every time I talk, you start talking.

You interrupt too. You interrupt start talking. You interrupt too. You interrupt too, though. You interrupt too, though. No. Prism collection. You do. You already know. You already know Bronwyn is taking my fucking words and spinning them.

Lie, lie. It's a lie. Making up things is a lie, Redne. You make up things and you lie. Like you know how I can figure out who's lying? Because you get both liars in the room and then you see who's lying. So then meanwhile, we then cut over in the middle of this ridiculous argument, we cut over to Bronwyn who has now returned to the JV bench with Brittany and Mailey. And Bronwyn's

like, oh, well, how the tables of this friendship turn. who knew I'd be friends with you two Which is so condescending she just says it right to their faces and they're like, ha ha ha ha ha So then Brittany's like well girlfriend now that we are newly friends. I want this to last a hot minute How about that at least that's like let's make this last this time Yeah, so she's like yay Br, Brahman and I are finally friends. I'm so excited to see where this friendship goes. I was like, give it two minutes. I mean, when it happened, before I knew it was happening,

I said give it two minutes. It literally took two minutes. Yeah. I was just kidding, man. I hope this show burns through plot so fast. I love it. I know. So Brittany, so Whitney calls Brahman over,

because I guess she needs to settle things with what's going on with Lisa. And then Brittany follows Heather, basically everyone convenes together. So Angie is like, happy bat mitzvah, what's going on? Angie, did I say anything bad about Heather? And Angie's like, listen, we did all talk, but I feel like Bronwyn twisted it.

And Angie's like, Bronwyn thinks I'm a bad person that says mean things about her daughter. And I was trying to be kind. And Brittany's like, but you do say things to be dramatic. And I'm standing arm in arm right now with Bronwyn. So we're best friends now. So everybody has to listen to me. What about me?

And Angie's like, I have been nice to you, Brittany. And Brittany's like, no, you basically called me a slut. She goes, I don't even use that word since 1990. And Lisa goes, well, you know, to be fair, saying you're fucking three guys isn't great. And Brittany's like, you literally said I was effing like ten guys at the same time. And she's like, no, I didn't. Brittany, you're freaking so stupid.

So Bron was like, here, I'll be messy on your behalf. Brittany told me earlier that she thinks you called her a slut because you're a slut. I'm like, oh, my. What are you doing? That was so like that pivot was so fast. I was like, girl, what? I cracked up. Don't get me wrong. I was laughing at the brazenness of it all,

that she actually conned Brittany for all of 30 seconds into thinking that their friendship was real. But I was also like, that's also a shitty move. That's so shitty. She just pivots. She makes Brittany, who just is trying to find some sort of foothold in this cast. Brittany's like, finally someone's on my side. And then Bronwyn just completely throws her under the bus.

And I think that Bronwyn, like if I try to be objective, I think Bronwyn was probably like, oh my God, this girl's terrible at fighting. So I'm going to throw her one. Call her a slut. You just called her a slut. Just call her a slut. You know? But I mean, yeah, this is bad.

And Brittany goes, wait, what? Brahman is like, ordinarily, I'd be more than happy to see Angie getting into trouble after she's fucked with me, but I'm tired of Brittany's little schtick running her mouth and then being like, poor me, I'm such a victim, somebody call me a slut, somebody call me, bought me wine.

I can't deal with it anymore. So if you're gonna call Angie a slut outside, then call Angie a slut. Somebody call me, somebody bought me wine. I can't deal with it anymore. So if you're gonna call Angie a slut outside, then call Angie a slut inside. So Angie goes, you think I'm a slut? She goes, no, why wouldn't you start the pot, Bronwyn? And she goes, but you did say that. You were gonna say it to her face, right? You said you were, so I just said it to you

so you could say it to her face. Angie is basically like a fire hose and you just pivot her and then she just, like that water so the stream goes from this person to this person to this person. Cause I mean, Angie's whole argument right now is that Bronwyn's twisting words.

So when she does it to somebody else, she takes it literally. She's like, no, Angie. She doesn't even question, she doesn't even question Bronwyn or anything. She's like, wait a second. Hey, and you, and you. So now she's going or anything. She's like, wait a second, hey, and you, and you. So now she's going after her and she's like,

you did say that, you said you were going to say it to her face, oh, I'm sorry, Bronwyn says, you said that, you called her a slut. And Brittany's like, well, I said, if you're accusing me of sleeping with multiple guys, I said, maybe that's how you dated. So Bronwyn's like, well, Brittany wanted to be friends for a hot minute, I gave her five.

That shit's over. And just like, I don't look like I have a high body count and I don't dress like I have a high body count and I don't wear my hair like I have a high body count. I have to give Bronwen credit because I have not really liked Bronwen this whole season. And one of my biggest complaints is that she doesn't ever make me laugh.

This is that she wears these crazy clothes, these outfits and she seems like she's going to be fun but she's just not fun she's like a complaining Karen who like throws her husband's money around and brags about it constantly and tries to make everybody fall in line for the money it's made she's made me crazy but my biggest complaint is she's just not fun this was fun I did laugh so while she's kind of proving to be an asshole, which I love, she at least was funny when she said she wanted to be friends for a hot minute and I give her five.

So now Angie starts going on this thing like, I don't look like I have a high body count. And Brittany's like, do you think my hair looks cheap? She goes, I think it looks a little pornish, your hair. She goes, do you really mean that? You think my hair looks cheap? She goes, I think it looks a little pornish, your hair. Do you really mean that? You think my hair looks slutty? That looks like high body count hair. This does not, my hair does not.

This is not high body count. This is not good. This is not, this is nice. Lisa's is nice, that's not. That does not, Lisa's is not. Brahman's is not, but that, yours, that's high body count hair. That is high body count dress.

Those are high body count heels. If you call body count dress. Those are high body count heels If you call me slutty, I think I look like a mother. I Look like a mother She's wearing a skin type black dress It's like cut down all the way to her belly button So fucking funny and Bram was like really in her Versace with her nipples hanging out I'm like, really? In her Versace with her nipples hanging out? And Brittany's like, I am seriously in shock right now.

I'm seriously in shock. And then Angie's like, do I look slutty? And Brittany's like, you know what, Angie? Screw you. She goes, no, screw you, slutty Brittany. Take your little bumpit and walk away. And Lisa goes, oh my God, you just shamed her hair. Brittany's like, oh my God, I seriously cannot believe

that what just happened, I'm gonna leave. And Whitney goes, what happened? Brittany's like, I'm seriously leaving the party. Like, I just said I have slutty vibes. She just said my hair is slutty. Like, my address is slutty, my tits are slutty. She didn't say your tits are slutty, but I like that everybody here twists every single thing. And also, Brittany's such a drama queen. She's like, I am leaving. And then

she goes to stand where the cater waiters are and absolutely does not leave, you know? So then, um, Brittany is like, I've never been so offended. So Whitney's like, and that was kind of mean. She's crying. Yeah. I got lost, I got too excited, I'm sorry. So funny, so Angie's like, okay, she's telling us, I want to make it clear, I did not call Brittany a slut, I called her hair slutty, that is not slut shaming, that is hair shaming, and in my business, there's a difference, I mean, I was offering up true advice.

So Angie's like, okay, I'll go apologize, right? So now Brittany is behind the cater waiter curtain talking to Chloe and Brooks. Chloe's like, are you okay? I just got called slutty. Wait, what the hell? That's not nice. That's not cool. I don't think that's true.

That's so not right. Yeah, it's not nice. Have you heard of raclette? That's mean. You're like hot. You're like a babe. You could probably fuck like 10 guys at once. You could probably melt raclette

just by how hot you are. You know about raclette, right? You're iconic. Iconic mother, not real mother. Mother's the most mother, but you're like close to mother. So then Bronwyn is asking Meredith if she's OK. And then Brooks comes and tattletales right away. He's like, Britney is crying.

You should go check on her. She's a slut that doesn't know what raquettes are. So Britney's like, I'm leaving. And Lisa's like, hey, why are you leaving? Because I just called, I just called slutty hair. And Maily says, she just said my hair. She said, Maily's like, wait a minute, she says that your hair is slutty too, Maily? Oh my God, I have slutty 90s hair.

I'm gonna just like, come here. Brooks just told me you were crying due to me and Angie, are you okay? Yeah, I mean, it just was so low. I've never been slut shamed like that before. Hey, hey, hey, she does yell at you in apology. She does. Angie, Angie, she know, I'm sorry.

She's like, she knows, she knows she owes you an apology. Hold on one second, she knows, I'm sorry, she's like, she knows she owes you an apology. Hold on one second. And so I was like, because the thing is this, Angie went so hard. But then when Brittany went away, they told Angie, hey, just so you know, Brittany's crying. And she's like, oh, well, like, I didn't want to make her cry. She's like, I thought I was just doing my scene, you know? She's like, oh, I don't really want to make her cry. Okay, I'm going to make her feel better.

So but at this point, like, and Lisa knows this, at least trying to get Brittany to get over to Angie so they can squash it before Meredith finds out and gets mad, but it's too late because Meredith already knows. And she goes, she doesn't, she's lying. And she goes, come on, you said I was probably slutty. You did. Brittany's like, I did not. Millie's like, shut up, Millie. And Andrew's like, it's super offensive to an old school Greek girl to say she is slutty. Okay, so now we're bringing the Greek.

I'm offended as a Greek that you would call me slutty. How dare you? You've not only offended me, you've offended Zeus. So now Meredith is like, you called someone a slut in front of my toddler and a whore and I'm not even sure why you're here. Because you invited me and you know what? You can go.

You're calling her a slut? Bye, take your husband and go. I like the part, I think it's missed here, but there is a part where Aunt's just like, No, you're calling her a slut. Bye, take your husband and go. I like the part, I think it's missed here, but there is a part where Ant is like, Britney is like, she called me slutty hair. And Lisa goes, you don't have slutty hair. You do need hot oil though.

Yeah, she says it actually literally the very next line right here. She goes, oh, don't let her hurt your feelings. But you know what? You do need keratase there, Matheek, yeah, yeah. You do, you do. But you know what? You do need karate athermetic, yah, yah. You do, you do. I'm sorry, I thought it was missing. I was like, we can't miss it.

I thought it was too, that's why I got lost. That's why I got lost before. I was like, didn't this happen? Why are we missing it? But it was literally right here. We just had to be patient. But it's so fucking funny, I was dying. That was amazing.

I mean, I was just dying. This whole thing is just amazing. And now that Meredith is screaming at her own bat mitzvah, like, you know, okay, I'm dying. That was amazing. I mean, I was just done. This whole thing is just amazing. And now that Meredith is screaming at her own bot mitzvah like, you can't leave. And just like, Meredith, we are not playing this game. Oh, yes, we are. And this time I have security, security, security, please escort her and her husband out. You can go. You're not welcome at this bot mitzvah.

She's doing her pirate eye where she's like, you can go, this is not a slot mitzvah. And so Angie's like, oh, you do not need to escort me. I weigh like a hundred pounds, I can walk. Wow, this is very beautiful religious cement Meredith, thank you. As someone who is dressed like a mother, I wanna say thank you. So Meredith is like, well mother I want to say thank you So Meredith is like, oh, I don't like people who slut shame

Meredith tells us this is not what I wanted. She but she left me no choice Angie has been repeatedly shaming women including me and then They do they do wind up a nice montage of Angie being like you are are a slut, you open your legs to every living thing. Slut, slut, slut, slut, high body count hair. I don't like all the women, they're grinding all the women. So Angie's like, I brought you a gift by the way. Thanks for coming empty handed to my party. And these big, huge security guys are just standing there

with their arms out like, we won't let her pass, you know, but we won't touch her. And so Andrew's trying to come up with some other thing to fight about. And then you talk shit about me without a gift. Do not call me slutty ever again, Brittany. And she's like, I did not call you slutty. You called me slutty vibes. This is not mine.

By the way, this coat, this is not mine. This is a high body count coat. No, and she like throws, cause they give her a coat, she throws it to the ground. So Angie walks out, she's like classless bitch. Meredith's like, she needs to be escorted out. A vile human being. And now that I'm a real woman, now that I'm an adult,

I can say this with authority. She needs to go. So Lisa chases Angie out and Mary's like, what happened? And Angie goes, I didn't even talk to her. I have no idea. It was about hair. I feel so bad for Angie,

but like I don't see how she's like, doesn't see her partner. And now Angie's standing at the entrance, still with the security guys and still going off now about this gift that she never got for her anniversary party. Yeah. So then Brittany is like,

I'm sick of her throwing out jabs. I'm sleeping with people. She's criticized us as mothers. She's criticized us as women. She has criticized us as toddler razors. I am so sick of this. I am sick of it. And you know what?

Let me pull a Meredith on you right now. Every time you see her, she's got an excuse as to why she's fucking crying. Oh my God, my phone is ringing because I did not put it on vibrate. Tell her to come out here and resolve this. So Meredith's sister is like, Meredith, no, you need to come sit with me and mom right now.

Yes, Meredith, come, Tom, we're going over a new bean salad recipe. So Brittany's like, Bronwyn, why don't you and Maylee take a selfie with me? And Bronwyn goes, yeah, I don't have slutty hair, so I'm out of this one. Where's Lisa? Yeah, I don't have slutty hair, so I'm out of this one. Where's Lisa at?

And Angie's like, she's like, I am done. I'm embarrassed that she invited me here and then asked me to leave. And I think this is where she, somewhere in here, she throws a napkin up in there. She's holding a napkin for some reason. She just throws it up in the air. She's like, might as well.

It's here, I'll throw a napkin, why not? No one even watches it. they're just like, whatever. Sean's just standing there like, oh geez. So then Angie leaves, she's like, what a bitch. So then everybody starts leaving, but Lisa approaches Meredith and she's like, oh my God, the level of accusation is like unbelievable. It's crazy.

Well, yeah, cheers to Portofayarta. And then it turns out we have this whole thing that basically right before this Bat Mitzvah, Lisa decided since everyone was sort of getting along up until the camp day, that they were going to go to Puerto Vallarta for their cast trip and it was gonna be really fun. So now they've all committed to going to Mexico, but now they all hate each other. Yeah, so stupid and funny. What a fucking reason. Hilarious. So I was dying laughing this whole time, my God.

It was amazing, so amazing. It was great, it was great. I really felt like, not to be like this, but I felt, it aired on my birthday and it felt like a great birthday gift to me. I'm not gonna lie. It felt like, I felt like Bravo gave me a gift wrapped in a bow and by gosh,

I appreciated every single second of it. And it was still one of our shortest Salt Lake City recaps, I guess, because so much of it was Bat Mitzvah stuff, you know? Yeah, it was just, it was just great. So anyway, everyone, thank you so much for listening. Be sure to get tickets to our tour. Those are for sale right now. Go to our website, watchwhatcrappens.com to get yours.

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