Watch What Crappens - #2647 RHOP 0910: You Get What You Get, and You Don’t Get Upset

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

The Real Housewives of Potomac features a grab bag of family dynamics, starting with GIzelle contesting a will and ending with Mia having yet another cringey scene with Gordon. In the middle of it all, Ashley goes speed dating and announces her dream of having a chicken coop. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. You can now gift Patreon to friends and family. And is there a better gift than these faces? https://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens/gift Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, how are you? Welcome back to the good old US.

Thank you. I have not made my way home. My little stop over here in New York. I'm in New York City at the moment because I stopped over to see my parents before I head back to LA. So it's my last time today. Later today, I finally returned home. I'm so excited. But anyway, it's good to see you, Ronnie. Did you have a nice weekend? Yes, well, I had a lovely weekend. I went to a little craft festival, and I had some family time, and all sorts of fun stuff like that.

It was good times. That's wonderful. Well, I'm excited to be here in New York City, and I'm also really excited that I'm going to be back here. And the next time I'm back here, it's going to be with you. In about six weeks or so for the Golden Crappies, it is coming up quickly. OK, this is not a lot of lead time.

It is happening. So that's going to be happening on February 1 of next year at the Town Hall on Broadway. It's so exciting. We hope you all come. We always have so much fun at the Town Hall on Broadway. It's so exciting. We hope you all come. We always have so much fun at the Crappies. We are going to assemble a great list of presenters and things to do on stage.

So it's gonna be really great. So come see us there. And the voting will begin in the new year on all the categories, two rounds like we did last year. So we can't wait to see how this all shakes out. And of course, we're doing a larger tour. That's not just the crappies that's going to be going all across North America. It's our mounting hysteria tour. You can find tickets for that at watch our crappens.com. And that's also where the list of the cities is. You can check it out. Hopefully your city is on there. We're still going to hoping

to add a few more dates. They just are not quite like we're not quite ready yet. But check them out and hopefully you can come see us. And we're really excited to hit the road next year. It's too much. Too much. I can't believe it's just already going to be a new year and just all this is happening. I'm nervous. Like I woke up like, Oh my god, there's so much to do. And I hate that. And why do we do this? Somebody else just do it. I'm nervous. Like I woke up like, oh my God, there's so much to do. And I hate that. Why do we do this? Somebody else just do it. I know. Well, the thing is, what's so so hard is that like, because we do the crappies at the

beginning of the year, it's just like, at this time right now, when it's like, ah, time to wind down time to settle up the year. This is when we're like, oh my God, oh my God, what are we gonna do for the crappies? We're gonna get how we're gonna make this happen. So it's very stressful. Like this is our most stressful period of time is from like right now until the crappies are over. It's always fun though. You know, it's like, Hey, let's put on a show. Hey, anybody can

help us. We're like walking around like begging, begging randos, but don't even know us to help to do everything for us. So it should be fun. Let's see what randos we can sucker in this year. Mayor Eric Adams, would you care to join? No thanks. No thanks. No thank you, fucker. Lamb based him. But we will be calling a lot of you Broadway people,

so to get ready, get ready, Christian Chenoweth. Hey, Christian Chenoweth, you need the help right now anyway because Teresa's fans have been bashing you all left and right. Have you seen that, Ben? No, why have they bashed her? Because I think she was asked somewhere, probably watch What Happens or something, like, because she's on Broadway now and the Jackie Siegel musical Queen of Versailles, which is crazy

that she's playing Jackie Siegel. I love that. Friend of the show, Jackie Siegel. Holler, be yatch! Yeah. And so anyway, she said something like Teresa's, who's the scariest person on Bravo? And she's like, Teresa, she's scary, you know, she's got dark energy or something. And then the tree huggers came after her. And I think entertainment tonight, one of those did a

interview with her. And he was like, Oh, my. So, your tree huggers are going after Kristin Chenoweth. She's like, oh, who that? I don't know who that is, what? And he's like, she's a Broadway star and she said that you had dark energy or something. She's like, good, good, then go for her. Go for her then. I'm glad they're doing that.

We had a discussion. We had a discussion. We're encouraging online bullying as usual. Real classy over there, Tari. Yeah, that's hilarious. Um, Treehuggers are, they crack me up. They just really crack me up because they're so invested. I mean, we're invested already.

Let me, don't get me wrong, we're invested, but they are invested. And it's like, yeah, for Teresa, do this. Okay, and also, um, Chris and Shana with my point is, you need help right now, okay? We'll protect you. Yeah, we know it's... We now. Okay. We'll protect you. Yeah. It's a show night.

It is a Saturday night. So it's a show night, but have your, have your, you know, someone's dying to work with F. Marie Abraham, just tell F. Marie Abraham, you know, Ronnie, he's Lebanese and then, uh, come, you know, yeah, I think Kristen, this is the right move for you right now. I think this is you need that. More than we need you. Okay. Okay, Kristen. We'll let you in we'll let you in Okay, anywho today we are so here we are today Sorry to me may have a lot of real housewives of potomac

Huh apologies. I said we may have a lag because of my hotel wifi. Apologies everyone. Oh gosh. Okay, so here we are. Real Housewives of Potomac. The episode is season nine. Episode 10 is called Love in the Fast Lane. I don't know why it's called that. I guess because they're speed dating.

But no one's in love. No one's, there's no love on this show. And no one's, no one's driving cars in a, like no one's in love. No one's had their love on this show. BOWEN LAUGHS And no one's, no one's driving cars in a, like, no one's racing cars, so I don't know. It's a sort of a... Yeah, it's too soon for that pun anyway for this show. There's a drunk driving episode on this show.

We don't need to be talking about that. But we do get one of my favorite things, is Karen trying to blame other people for her DUI. This time it's Ray. It's actually... Yeah. It's actually Ray's lack of love this time, which is pretty hilarious. Poor Ray. All Ray wants to do is move to Florida. The man is just puttering around the house.

He's like the flesh Roomba on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which is Ken Todd, just like buzzing around the house. But he's like sputtering, like his battery's always dead. This one's like always caught on the rug, you know? Ray. Poor Ray. Just leave Ray alone. And Karen's like, it's all your fault for my DUI. So at least we got that.

So I'll always be grateful to this episode for that. I feel like next week, this could be Karen sitting down, Craig and Austin being like, well, that's my lowest point. You weren't there for me. So it's really your fault that I drove over that median. HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE So it's really your fault that I drove over that median. HE LAUGHS So, uh, we start at Gisele's house with Angel, Adore, and Grace. And Gisele's like, so what? How was work today? And Angel's like, tragic.

Horrible. So bad. Worst day of the week. Maybe my life. It was the worst thing that ever happened. And then it just leaves me. It just ends there. We don't get to find out, A, I don't know where they even work. B, because it's not Arizona's.

I think that closed down. But like B, what happened? This is finally the most interesting thing that has happened this season in Giselle's storyline, and we don't get to find out what it is. I have a feeling that that's what they say every day when you say, how's work? They're just like, tragic, horrible, terrible, awful.

My kind of girl's right there. Yeah. So, um, they're like, yeah, I could have called off the rest of the week, but I need the money, so I'll stay. I just, I'll be okay. Settling, because it's another exciting Gisele pretending to do stuff with her daughters, who really do not want to be around her at all.

So she's, uh, it's like, here's my storyline. My children are leaving me again. Oh, my God. All right, so she talks about how the kids are going back to college after being back from college. She's got a lot to recover from this episode. And her kids are amazing, and they're graduating with amazing grades, back to college after being back from college. She's got a lot to recover from this episode.

And her kids are amazing, and they're graduating with amazing grades. And they're fourth generation on Jamal's side of going to HBCU. So you can talk about what you want about my kids, but they're amazing. And then we get a flashback of Mia going, your boys were sneaking kids in the back while we were in PR. MIA really grasped me at straws there.

But then, I mean, shockingly, I was like, oh my God, I can't believe we're opening up with yet another scene about the girls finishing school and going to college. But actually, it was relatively short the amount of time we spent talking about that. Really the thrust of the scene was Giselle talking about how she's going to court to contest a will because like her dad, in the will that her dad allegedly signed, he left absolutely nothing to Giselle and her daughters. And it was like a will that popped up at the last second. And she's like, he was incapacitated. I was with him. There's no way he could have even signed this.

And yet this shows up. This is not a real will. He was all about generational wealth. Like he would never not give to his granddaughters. It was actually kind of wild when she told the story. Like it's actually, it's shocking, you know? Like someone is out there actively trying to defraud the estate.

Was it his wife? Didn't she, I thought she said, well maybe she didn't say it, but maybe she was insinuating. She was alluding to that. I just didn't know if he had a wife or not. I don't either, but I think she was kind of insinuating because she said,

your dad's getting ready to get married again. And that's why I had a conversation with him. So unbeknownst to me. And he was like, I already put everything in a trust for the girls, a trust that cannot be broken. So I thought that that meant that you have to be careful of the new spouse, because they'll try and steal your shit. But I mean, I don't know.

Somebody did it though. And it was direct. It was right after he had brain surgery. So he's completely out of it. And they just came and I guess grabbed his hand and signed a paper. Which hopefully they will go to jail, because that is illegal, you cannot do that. That's... Okay.

Yeah, that is such bullshit. Very bad. So then they start talking about trust and stuff, and Jamal has put all of the tithing from the past 20 years into a trust for the girls, so they're gonna get that. And then Gisele's like, but I want you guys to be careful, and you know, I also have to start thinking about a will and stuff.

And they're like, well, why can't you put your stuff into a trust? And she's like, I'm not putting my shit into a trust for you fuckers, I'm spending mine. Yeah, you'll get whatever I have left over. Basically, she was so taken aback, she just paused like, I don't, I don't trust, dah. She's like, no, we're not talking about my money. We're talking

about your dad's money. Okay. Yeah. My money is my money. Your dad's money is our money. Do you understand? So then we go over to Stacy's crash pad. She's hanging out with TJ. And TJ is back to being a morning anchor after he let his mask down last week and showed who he really was. And so he's like, hey princess. Today he lets his other mask down, his M-A-S-C.

He's like, hey princess, we're gonna cook in the kitchen. I'm gonna make you make lunch because I don't wanna go to the store. So here we go. I'm gonna make you a pizza. We're gonna go to Italy. And I got my little chef's hat. So he puts on like a little silk bonnet and everything.

And he's just being like wild and goofy and fun. It's like he's aware that he was basically being a dick at the parties. And now he's trying to be like, look at me America. I'm actually a very hilarious person. Okay, back to you, Ron, with sports. I don't even know if he does know he's being a dick because he's still a dick today.

He just thinks he's being... He's like, here's what I'm here for, filming scenes for the television. Like, this is what happens when you give an under five more than five. He's terrible at it. There's a reason you're an under five, sir, okay, if you're an entire career. Just stop. Just stop with the bonnet. Stop with the whole thing. And she's like, that's so sweet. Doesn't Stacey look not into this? I think Stacey is into it because I think that Stacey is,

I think Stacey is always won over by effort. She's like, I just love that he went to a store and he found a bonnet and he put it on he put it before I even got here. He put it in a cupboard. So I'd be surprised. And that sort of effort. I just really appreciate that. She's like, Wow, are you in a bonnet? Wow, who does that? That is so fun. But I don't I don't know, I get ick feelings from her. I think maybe she was just worried that she needs someone to film with because she's got this new TV show

and her husband won't let her film and probably doesn't want the kid to film too much. So she's like, she's pulling the can out. I mean, it could be that. It could definitely be that. I mean, there's obviously zero chemistry between these two. But I think, I don't know, but there's something like wide eyed about, about Stacy that I just, I feel like she's just like, what did they say?

And for a penny in for a pound. So, uh, although she's not really getting the pound, I guess, but you know what I'm saying and for the weight and for the hope for a pound and for the pound wait list and for a penny in for another penny. And for a self pound. Two cents. And for a penny in for a masturbation sesh. Okay.

Yes. So she's like, he's just so crazy. That's why I love him. He just makes me laugh. I'm like, but you're not laughing and you haven't laughed. Get out of here. You're a prisoner. You're a prisoner of your own making. So then he squirts a neon green drink into...

Is it Mountain Dew? What is it? It looks like Mountain Dew. It looked like Mountain Dew, but I wasn't sure. But he was like, hey, remember this? Remember this? Remember this flavor? She goes, oh my God. Oh, wow, I remember these. Let me... Wow, that is so sweet. I was definitely getting a vibe of like Secret Lives at Mormon Wise where like, you know, the girls who don't drink at all,

they go nuts on the soda. I was like, this is what TJ is doing right now. He's like, yes, I'm sober. He was going nuts on it, but she was like, this isn't my favorite soda, this is yours. I'm telling you, this girl's not into it. She was looking at that soda like, thanks for the nuclear waste, bro. And so he's like, oh, you know,

you know, I've been stressed, you know, too many lines to learn TJ. As much fun as Wendy's party was, I just also felt like it was so stressful, not just for you, but for me. And she's like, stressful for you. And he's like, yeah, cause you know, I was like Uber date, where we get to the party, you're holding my hand and then you're off, but you never checked back in with me. That's exactly right. You are the Uber date because she's doing a show

and she has to shoot scenes with the women at the party. And you're supposed to like, you know, yuck it up with the men, cause it's the real housewife show and you seem to have done homework on every other aspect of this relationship, except for this part. And why are you stripping on plenty of sex? But I'm usually backstage in the green room. So, what's your excuse?

She has a leading role, sir. Okay, I know you don't know what that's like. Maybe one day. Yeah. And then she's like, I don't think that's necessarily fair. And we see a flashback of him saying, hey, I'm going to let you do what you do, and I'll just be over there. And then, like, later on, he's like, I don't think that's necessarily fair. And we see a flashback of him saying, hey, I'm gonna let you do what you do and I'll just be over there.

And then like later on, he's like pissed and he's like, oh, okay, get it together, man. Get it together, I'm warning you. Get it together, man. You don't get, you don't say, yeah, do your thing, shoot your scenes and then act upset that she just did exactly that. Yeah, so she's like, who are you even talking to?

And he's like, well, everybody that wasn't you apparently. And then we see him talking to Ray, Ray being like, I've had a personal computer since they invented wheels on horses. Have you ever heard of the wallet? Oh, you put money in it? I have one. I had the first Apple wallet.

It was actually an Apple that you put coins into. The coins were wood. So that's why worms started going into apple. The wood inside the apple was marinated. I threw it at Isaac Newton and he invented gravity. Stacey's like, so Stacey's like, well, you know, I'm sorry, but it just seemed like there was just one thing after another. He goes, but for hours, she goes, I said, I'm sorry, and it will never happen again. I apologize, which I love that she did that. She did like the, like, I'm not discussing this any further. You got the apology out of me. Now, are we going to have your shitty ass DiGiorno pizza or not?

No kidding. Like, God, we're eating your Costco pizza that you're acting like you're making so much fucking effort towards. And so he's like, okay, then. Like, I guess I'll forgive you. Get rid of him. He's so gross. He's infuriating to watch. God, a user who doesn't even give you anything. If a user used my credit card, because you know he bought that shit with her credit card, too.

He went to the Costco with her card. And I was like, it's my wife's card. And then bought a bunch of cheap shit to make her later and then acted like he was doing you a favor. She's not even getting your dick. Shut up. Yeah. I mean, and it's like, if you're, if you're, if you're not even, if you're not even going to like do it, then at least get some pizza dough. Okay. Don't get this. Don't get the big circle from DiGiorno and then put cheese on it.

At least go and get like the Trader Joe's dough and roll it out. Let's see it for them to this. I'm trying not to get offended, but I feel like you're triggering me on purpose. I feel like you're pushing it on purpose, but I'm trying not to get mad. But then you keep saying DiGiorno like it's a curse word.

And I'm getting pissed. There's nothing wrong with DiGiorno, but you're on TV, so let's step it up and try to do... Let me tell you one thing. It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno, bitch. You better back off my DiGiorno. They have a pretty good crust for being a frozen pizza. Listen, that's great. You know what? I love that you are going to defend TJ on this. I am not going to. Not TJ. I'm defending DiGiorno. You're what? I love that you are going to defend TJ on this. I am not going to.

Not TJ. I'm defending DiGiorno. You're calling it DiGiorno. I'm calling it Costco crap. I'm saying TJ needs to go to TJ's and get some dough because you're on TV. And if you're going to make beats on TV, you got to step it up. I'm sorry. You got to step it up. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys

and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants and real estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. And soon, investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to the Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. guests. So, um, then, uh, she's like, so she's telling us, you know, just because we started going

out in public, we're going to have to have some road bumps. No, that's not a road bump. He's that's his personality. That's a, that's a man bump. Okay. Yeah. That's a big old man bump. Um, yeah. She's like, she's like, you know, all the other boyfriends and husbands were there and I honestly thought TJ would be fine hanging with the boys. No, well, to be fair, to his credit, he was stuck in a corner with Ray for quite some time

while Ray talked about personal computers. That is a little rough, I'm not gonna lie. So then they're eating, he's like, wow, look at me, a professional chef, yeah. And so he serves this pizza and she's like, wow, large slice. So he's basically fucking her over any chance he gets. He's like, now, binge on television for me,

prove that you love me and eat this giant carb. She's like, oh. But you know it's a shitty pizza. You know it's shitty cause she's like, I'm just going to add a little salt to it. Like if you have to add salt to pizza, you're really fucked up. I'm sorry.

It's made of salt. It's frozen pizza. And I don't think Stacy is like someone who's like, like a, like a salt addict. We know that TJ makes a shitty pizza. Yeah. So then he's like, so mediation, have you given any thought to like hiring a forensic

accountant? No, sir. I don't think you need to be giving advice on hunting for money that you haven't earned. You fucking user. I hate this guy. Every line he said, he's never going to win a thing with me. I hate everything that comes out of his mouth. Now I'm like, oh yeah, I'll bet you need to know every nickel that her husband is needing

to give her. Back off, back off the purse, buddy. Yeah, how about a forensic pizza maker, okay? So... How about a forensic acting class? He probably has taken that, like he has like a CSI jacket. He's like, I found a clue. Like, okay, thank you, TJ, we'll call you.

It's a Djorno pizza Somebody else some ladies head. There's a lady was murdered by the door now Look this look at this here. There's blood all over this is our own just her own pizza. Wait. No, that's tomato sauce. I apologize Wow, I really murdered that Djorno, it's me I'm guilty Wiping his mouth. He starts going, bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop. Like CJ, we don't need you to do the CSI theme song. He's like, who are you?

So then, she's like, we need three appointments. And he's like, you. She's like, we need three appointments. And he's like, three? She's like, yeah. So she's like, you know, I'm trying not to tell him too much because it's not really his business. And he's never been married, so there's only so much he really understands.

And this is where I think she's starting to get who she's with. Leave this man. She's like, he doesn't even know how to season a pizza. So the last thing he needs to know about is my money. So she's like, so the ladies, by the way, said to me that they don't necessarily think it's a good thing for us to move forward romantically, which is what they actually said was, why are you jumping into another relationship so quickly after the first one, you should give yourself some space, which is like a little bit of the way she said it makes it sound like the ladies were

were sort of cock blocking, which theoretically they were, but you kind of cast them in a slight the wrong way. What'd you say? There's no cock blocking. That's true. It's just blocking. There's no blocking. There's no blocking. So like walking around with trays at Costco of cock. They're like, please go get some cock.

Just move away from that cock. So yeah, and also this is Stacy kind of using her friends instead of just telling him her feelings, you know, which she does a lot with him. She's like, well, the girls say we should be having sex. Well, the girls are asking me why I'm not with you when we're not having sex, you know? So she's kind of doing that instead of just saying, hey, loser. Yeah, I don't want to

be in a relationship. It's weird to be in a serious relationship, especially if I'm not getting any, you know? So she does that. And he's like, well, what? And she goes, yeah, they said they think it's a mistake. And so he's like, well, I get that. And listen, I'm not offended by what they said at all. Because you know what, let's face it, we're co-stars on a television show and that basically makes us family. I'm a television star. So here's my take.

Divorce is traumatic because it's a loss. And I just don't think sex with people that you don't care about fixes that. Excuse me, it most certainly does. And I would appreciate it if you just leave gay people alone. How about that? Listen, it may not fix it, but it's sure have a lot more fun

than sitting at home watching a CSI. Are you mad that you got cut off in traffic? Suck a random dick. That's what I say. It's worked for me for years. How dare you, sir. Tell me how to live. I know this is a man who,

to quote Wendy, is not sexually active. So Stacy is like, she's like, well, would you continue this journey if I did see other people? I'm like, well, first of all, here's your problem. You're calling your relationship with TJ a journey. That's already too much. That's like what you say when you are starting

some sort of group project or doing something in a corporation. But like when you're talking about your relationship, like calling it a journey, that's just like too formal. Also, I'd appreciate it if you just stuck with the theme and called it a de journey, you know? And so TJ is like, well, I would still care about you, but I wouldn't close myself off to other options myself.

And she goes, okay, so, but you don't even want to sleep with me. He's like, sex was never casual for me. I never did that. But you did. Yes, you did. Because she told us that you did have sex with females and your other partners, which she didn't specify what those were, but that you didn't want to have sex with females anymore.

She worded it in some funky way in the first episode. All I have to say is you don't want to have sex with females until you're married. So get, get out of here with that, with your cement dick, get out of here with your cement dicks. All I have to say is I think it's adorable that he says, I wouldn't close myself off to other options. That's, that is adorable that he's implying there's other options. So TJ is like, he's like, you know,

I want to help you because I care about the situation, you know, you've been in and I know it wasn't great or easy, but if I'm only doing it so I can get you, then I'm just as fake as everybody else. Okay. I just want to be on TV. Stacy's, like, well, there's a part of me that wants to hear you say, like, no, I want to be with you. I would vomit. She goes, I would vomit. She goes, I would vomit or melt into a puddle of tears.

But mainly, I'd probably vomit. I would be hunched over a toilet thinking about how I lost you. I would be just spewing chunks left to right, spraying them like I was Linda Blair in The Exorcist if I were not with you, Stacey. STACEY Hmm. And he's like, well, why do you think that I'd be... Because she's like, well, there's part of me

that wants to hear you say, you know, I want to be with you, you know? And he's like, well, why do you think that I'd be like, okay with that, you know? I didn't say it wouldn't bother me. Sweetie, if I really love and care about you, then I want you to be good for you. And then you see me for who I am. Oh, I see what any of this means. Yeah, I'm already leaving you cut it out with your

words. Word salad would taste better than what you serve today. And she goes, so you want me to choose you because I would like you to, but you don't have to. I'm like, but don't you hear what she just said? She's like, I want you to choose me. And he's, it's just funny to me that he is all about this very traditional approach to romance. Everything has to be very, very traditional, no sex before marriage, all the doing all the proper things.

But the one thing that he doesn't want to do that's traditional is that the woman pick him instead of him saying, I choose you. It's just, it's just strange what he picks and chooses to be traditional. So then we go to Wendy and her sister Ivy. And Wendy is dressed like Hans and Franz. Okay, do you remember on SNL way back? I'm sorry, this ages myself, but you know, I am old. And back in the day, there were characters named Hans and Franz. There were these two German brothers. They were German, right? And they were based on Arnold Schwarzenegger, but they were like huge muscles, but they were done with, you know, prosthetics, not even prosthetics,

like pillows under their arms with pantyhose to look like skin over their arms. That's what Wendy looked like she was wearing. What was that about? It was crazy. I feel like I appreciated, like, that it was cool that the designer made that cool structure out of the sleeves. But it sort of looked like blue Michelin Man.

Or it also sort of looked like an old-timey underwater, like, suit, like the kind where, like, you have the helmet on that's attached to the surface, and you're walking around under there, and you're, like,, like the kind where like you have the helmet on that's attached to the surface and you're walking around under there and you're like picking up starfish. It's just like the arms were just so big and poppy. Starfish examining things. It was like, yeah, like an old, like in 1920s, uh, carnival strong man or whatever. It was so like, it was all of these things. It was Hans and Franz. It wasn't,

it was vintage aquatic suit. It was Michelin man. It was astronaut. It was just so much. It was like, it like a radio it's like at a nuclear power plant or something, or once like a nuclear engineer with that, they put their hands in the gloves through the glass. It was a lot. It just was so crazy. It was a lot and Wendy needs to do more

because this is another, it's like kind of Gisele, like here's another scene with Gisele's daughter as they're going away again for a week. And this is kind of Wendy's too, cause it's like, here's Wendy talking to her mom about wanting to change her career. Like. Well, luckily her mom is super funny this season. So. Yeah, her mom, luckily, her mom is super funny this season, so...

Yeah, her mom makes one be worth it for sure. Susan's best season by far. I don't know, Susan's always had a good season. I don't think Susan's ever had a bad season. Susan's always been entertaining, but I feel like this is the season where I feel like Susan is really just like... Like, to me, she's hilarious every single scene. And she was so funny this time.

Well, she's really owning her threatening Christianity, which I think is funny because, you know, she's like kind of... I want to say waddled on the line, but that's not nice. She's not waddling. I'm sorry, I started watching Penguin on HBO. She's not waddling, but... What do you call it? Swaddling the line? No. She's not waddling, but what do you call it? Swaddling the line? No. Towing the line. I don't know. Balancing, teetering, teetering.

She's kind of teetering on the line between like, I'm super religious and also I'll murder you. And now she's really got that down where she's like threatening. Like when she says I'll pray for you, it's like a threat. Yes, straddling. Thank you. So she's threatening you with Jesus, which I really like. Like, I'm a Christian woman. I am praying for you. It's like, you know, babies start falling from trees, you know, old men start falling down on the street. A storm cloud comes over and rains dead frogs onto cars. Yeah. She's really, she's really got it down. She's amazing. She's really, she's really got it down. She's amazing. She's my hero. In other words, she's wonderful. So, um, Wendy meets up with Ivy and, um, her sister, Ivy, and basically Wendy is saying like, um, you know, like she's going to talk to mom and Ivy is like, well, what conversation, what, what conversation are you having? And Wendy's like, well,

I haven't told her that I've resigned. And, um, I mean, he's like, I mean, you haven't told her that, but you brought me here? Basically, I was like, wait, I have to be here. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be collateral damage in this. Why did you drag me into this? And why does it feel like last year that Wendy wrote that email? Where she was like, I would dine. Wasn't that last year? Is that this year?

It was like, it feels like a very long time. It was this season, but it feels like a long time ago. It does for some reason. I thought that was a long time ago. So then we see a flashback, well, to two months ago. There you go. And she's like, finally, Eddie, I did it on my own terms. On email. And he's like, wow. And so then Ivy is like, well, you haven't told her

and you brought me here, are you fucking crazy? She's like, just eat your calamari, Ivy. You know, Nigerian children, you really only have three options, a doctor, a lawyer, and if you're feeling really, really adventurous, you can be an engineer. I know some of the things I've decided to do can be unconventional.

However, we are exploring our passions because we can. What are you hitting on your mic? Are you hitting it? Oh, that was my leg accidentally hit the base. You hear this? Yeah. It sounds like an underwater noise, like a... You know, things moving under a pool.

We're sticking with the Wendy underwater thing. I'm being very immersive in my Wendy impersonation. So really caring about underwater thing. What can I say? So they sit down, Susan joins or she's Susan's like, Oh Lord. Oh, they get the, they get the, they get their drinks and Susan's like, Oh Lord, bless this food in Jesus name. Amen. Bless everything. We're going to eat. We're going to clean it. And then Wendy like turns on, she's like, Oh, excuse me, sir. Can I get like another like appetizer? Okay. Get a napkin over here. Whatever. And Susan's like, she's talking and I'm praying. She's like, she's just, how rude. You are praying while in the middle of an order though. That's how Susan rolls though. The waiter is still there when he goes,

please get my mother some more alcohol. She's like, now I pray. The waiter hasn't even left. So when he's like, oh, and also she goes, how rude you interrupted my prayer. No, your prayer interrupted a drink order, okay? I think everybody, the most religious person can agree, the drink order comes order, okay? I think everybody, the most religious person can agree, the drink order comes first, okay? Wine first, prayer second, okay? Gotta

wait, wine will not. Suzan's like, how rude. In the name of the Father, of the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen. And everyone is like, thank you, mom. She goes, see what you have interrupted. It was a good prayer. It was so good. It's like when people, it's like when people interrupt just when you're about to get to the punchline, you ruin the entire joke. That's what you did. When they you ruin the entire prayer. Well guys, sorry mom, but you know,

last time I saw you was my 40th birthday party. Susan's like, I'm trying to erase the memory of you on that boat going around in circles. So I've, it's like, yeah, that was quite fun. And when he's like, I'm trying to erase the memory of you on that boat going around in circles. So Ivy's like, yeah, that was quite fun. And Wendy's like, well, I'm just glad the party brought us all together and we're in such a great place. So mom, I've got something to tell you. She goes, you're pregnant.

No. And Ivy's like, I need to get out of here. She's like, no, I just got this body. You think I'm giving this shit away to another little fucking brat? So I read on Reddit that you get a citation from from the governor for requesting it I thought that was so funny that Wendy's like hey everybody I got a citation if she requested it to request a citation from a governor

You can one review the guidelines to complete an application form three submit the request for submit the request before 30 days. Which I don't know why I thought that was funny, but I don't know, I kind of preferred when Quad bought herself a Lexus and presented it to herself and then acted shocked that she got a Lexus at her party. Right. Well I feel like when you get a citation,

I imagine, hearing this, I imagine the point is that you're part of an organization, you want to honor someone in your organization for the great work that they do. So you apply to get them like a citation from the governor. And it's like, look at their work, but it is kind of funny to apply to get a citation from the governor for your 40th birthday. Can I just get a citation? Hey, I just quit all of my jobs and I'm really into YouTubing now. Can I get a citation from the governor that would really boost my numbers? I mean, we're laughing, but I'm like,

I'm gonna get a citation for Watcher Crapins. I want, I want, I want a hot Maryland governor to give us a citation. Yes, sir. Yeah, I'd love that you do it in a different state, too. You don't even do our home state. you'll just go to a different state. Guess what? I'm requesting a citation from Puerto Rico.

Because I love their food. My friend from college, this is random, but my friend from college was elected as the state controller for Maryland. So I'll be like, hey, Brooke, can we get a citation from the comptroller's office? -♪ Hahahaha. -♪-Shh. A mid-tier citation. That's funny. Uh, so yeah, so, um, she's trying to, you know,

I mean, it's like, I need to exit this chat. Can I exit? She's like, no. So, Mom, you know, we've talked, you know, literally seasons now about me not wanting to do things and doing them only because I feel like I have to for you. So that being said, and Susan's mom, Susan's the table starts shaking. She's like, mom, mom, mom, stop it.

A fork starts rising in the air. Mom, mother, she's like, Jesus' name, the fork comes down. Okay, finish. So, Wendy's like, yeah, I just want... I don't care. I just want it to be true. I want it to be true. Between the invocation of Linda Blair earlier, and Stacy Seen, and now Linda's mom, I mean,

and now Susan's mom, I mean, and now Susan basically... both gave... Susan's anger. ...Christian spirits to levitate things. This is a very evocative episode already. I want to see Susan's anger take control and see her power. I think ever since I saw Wicked, you know, because that whole thing is like,

I finally decided I've got power, you know, and then she does it. And I just want that for Susan. I want Susan's anger to find... Because Wendy and her sister are so scared of Susan, I really want to see Susan's power. I need to see it. I need it. I need Susan to have that turn.

Yeah, she will. In time, she will. It was Susan's... It was actually Susan who was controlling that motorboat. Wendy was just trying to come to the dock, but Susan's like, no, I'll make you go in circles. I read your email. I have access to your AOL account. Yeah.

So mom, I just, I wanted to let you know that I recently resigned from my position at my university. And she goes, are you crazy? Ivy's like, oh boy. Ivy's like hiding under her napkin. You want to be stabbed with a crucifix? Whoa, mom, mom, you're usually more subtle with your Christianity threats.

Then I will pray for you. So you can see that Susan, first of all, I'm sure Susan already knows this, but you can see that Susan kind of wants to kill her. And she's like, I lost my appetite. Just kidding. Where's the waiter? So you're resigning from your university to go

where?" She goes, it's not about to go where, mom. I'm already there. YouTube is everywhere. It's the biggest channel on the planet. And Ivy goes, tell her, tell her your plans, which is a hilarious setup because Ivy knows that Wendy has no plans whatsoever. And Wendy's like, well, I want to focus on spending time with my kids and my talk show. And, you know, me residing for my position doesn't mean I'm no longer a doctor. I still have my four degrees. And, you know, maybe I'll find a part-time position

at another university. And Susan's like, mm-mm, spending time with kids, that's the weak, weak way out. Don't spend time with kids, spend time with students at school as a professor. And she's like, well, I've always bragged about my kids and I've stood by it, but right now I'm so lost and the only thing that will help me,

dear Lord Jesus, please deliver me some fried calamari to the table. That worked, it worked, thank God. Oh, thank God. Well, you know, I felt like I wasn't being tolerated and I was not being appreciated. And she's like, well, I don't want you guys to be chained and stuck in one place. So if you're not satisfied, move on. You have all the credentials. I did that. Those are my

credentials. I made those credentials for you. She's like, yes, you did. You did. And she's like, okay, well, God bless you and all doors will be open for you in Jesus's name. And if they're not, mom, that's enough. So Wendy, so it ended up going easy, you know? So she's telling us some of the things that she's decided to do have been unconventional, like, you know, selling the devil's lettuce and the Dr. Wendy show, but you can be who you want to be, not who your parents want you to be.

And in this case, Wendy has chosen to be someone who's trying to capitalize on her real housewife's fame in whichever way she can. And if one thing doesn't work, then she'll try another. Yeah, good for her for finally just being like, nah, I wanna raise my kids and do my YouTube show. Fuck off, because I feel like before she's felt like she has to do something and she's been kind of struggling and you know, you don't have to do want to do that.

You can just do nothing to you. I mean, not that that's nothing raising three children and doing a YouTube show. I'm not saying that that's nothing. I'm just saying you don't have to go the traditional route. So good for her. You go girl. And she's like, I still have my degrees. I was like, of course.

Okay, can't end a scene without that. Commercials, here comes one right now. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire.

You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters

to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville Who-dunit. Can Cindy, Lou, and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas Mystery Bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts. Now it's time to go speed dating with Gisele and Ashley. I was like, is this a setup for,

is it to like get us ready for the dating show? Because aren't the two of them going to be on the dating show with Luanne and Shannon Bador, right? So they are gonna go dating. And so Giselle and Ashley show up at this place and they're sort of talking about like, oh my God, like, what if we both like the same guy? What are we gonna do? If I like a guy, I want to be able to, you know, like, I don't want you to be like getting in the way, like don't even try it.

And so Ashley says, oh, you wanna pee on him? So she's like, yeah, I want to pee on him. So they, um, they go to the speed dating. They meet up with this guy, Brandt, um, who is basically like, so are you guys ready to do some dating with some men and be fine? You'll figure out your future possibly. And this is just so dating on the show because they, their guy hooking them up is a gay guy and they're having the speed

dating at a gay bar. Did you notice that? There's a big pride in that. I did not notice the pride flag. Which is just about as realistic of a dating event as I would expect these two to be having on this show. So here they go. Load up the gay guys.

Let's give them a go. And Brandt, you know, Brandt is very cute and he has discovered a group on Botox and the only thing that moves is his mouth. So he's just very like, would you like to meet a gay man? Let's get going. You each have 30 seconds. Go. So they get a lot of basically a lot of TJs, a lot of under fives lined up against the wall. God knows how many blow jobs those guys gave to get here, but here they are. And they start going through the dates. And Gisele's like,

I've never done speed dating. Ah, actually, I just call my dating life dating, because that's about how long they stay around. Three, 30 minutes, is that it? Normally, I don't ask them to leave, they just do somehow. Is it the fuselage? Yeah. So they... We see just like a big montage.

Like this one guy who brings like a giant thing of flowers to Ashley and it's just like, you know... He was creepy. He's like, -"Oh, that's too much." -"I know it's your birthday. I know it's your favorite flower, because I did some research." Ew! Get out of here with your Google. It was too big.

It was such a big ostentatious, it was like a giant, it was like a giant basket of flowers. Give like a little bouquet maybe if you're gonna do that, but not like a huge thing. It was like too much. It was like something I loved all. Someone like Ashley's has received so many flowers, and they get them when their husband cheats.

So she doesn't wanna see those, you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, and so, Giselle is telling, you know, during this montage, Giselle tells us, she's like, I'm just looking for somebody nice, fun, go to a museum, walk to the park, all those things. And the producer goes, so you want a TJ? It's so shady.

She's like, no, no TJ. It's kind of funny, because wasn't she dating that guy who was getting blow jobs in the park? Remember? Yeah, sure. Like, what are you looking for? It's like guys who like parks. That's true.

You think parks would be off limits. So there's just like more of these guys coming through, et cetera. But then we finally get a hit, because there's just like more of these guys coming through, et cetera. But like then we finally get like a hit because there's this guy, Josh, and Josh winds up having very nice banter with Ashley. Josh is sort of like, he kind of looks like Lance Bass, but with like a perm, you know? And-

He looks like Beavis. Who is this Beavis headed motherfucker coming for Ashley right now. I actually liked this guy quite a bit. And they hit it off. So they're doing well. And then Giselle also winds up. She winds up connecting with a guy named namance. Is that his name again? I forget his name. I brought how you say his name. Namce. Namce. I forgot his name. I forgot how you say his name. Namsay. Namsay.

Namsay. No. I thought it was name-ants, name-ants. I don't know. And she's, you know, he's cute. He's hot, basically. It's not the most exciting talk in the world. They just talk about where they're from,

but he's really hot and bald. And so- And he looks like Sherman. She likes that. Yeah, they put a side by side up with Sherman. And her ex, Jamal. She's like, obviously I have a type, bah. Um, he's already cheated on me, so I'm completely into him. And then, um, Josh, back to Josh,

Josh is like, I can't compete with those flowers, right? But, like, how are you today? She's like, good. And I don't know, I found this guy to be a cheese ball personally, but you know, he likes sports and so Ashley's into it. And he was a wrestler and stuff. And she goes, well, you're a wrestler,

but you don't have cauliflower ear. And he's like, look closer, it's very small. Just kidding. I just had a mom who was like, wear your head gear, honey. And I was like, all right, mom. And she was like, okay, you listen to your mom. He's like, I do. She was like, he's like, my mom is very important to me. So I actually grew up on a farm, which is crazy. By the way. Okay. So I like this guy, but the biggest red flag is when a guy on Bravo says he just really cares about his mom. Okay, we've been down this path before.

Oh, oh, my mom means everything to me. I just want to get slow. Oh! It is a fuck boy flag right there when you start talking about your mom and how much you love her to the girl. Always. Well, I think you're supposed to do it at first, right? Because girls are supposed to date someone

who's nice to their mom. Right, but that's why they do it. Because it's like a disarming thing. And it's also a way for them to prove to outsiders that they're still good, they're not fuck boys. They're like good guys. They care about their mom. They're like nice to their mom, you guys.

So Ashley's like, oh my God, you know what? I love farms. When did that happen? All the time that Karen's talked about her farm. Karen's talked about her farm for like four straight years and she has never said a thing. And all of a sudden she's like, I want to have a chicken coop. I want a pitchfork. I love hay. Where did this come from? I just feel like I've never heard anybody say like, I love farms. It just seems like

such a broad thing. So he's like, wait, really? And she's like, yeah, I used to ride horses. Like I was a barrel racer and he goes, okay, so we didn't have horses. So once they saw him, I guess like mini farm, like chickens and cows, it was a Bitcoin. It was a Bitcoin farm. Different kind of farm. Uh, yeah, he says it was a mini farm.

And I'm like, okay, did you have a farm or did you have dogs in the backyard? And he's like, well, we had chickens and we had cows. I think that's a farm, right? It's a farm, but it sounds like, I mean, there's a big spectrum of farms in terms of traditional agricultural farms. Like there's some that have sprawling, you know,

fields where there's like the ranches basically. And there's some that like are gonna be growing vegetables and then some that will have like horses and all that big stuff. But there are a lot of kind of like, there are a lot of farms that are just kind of like hobby farms I feel like, where there is like a cow and a chicken

and like you take care of the cow, take care of your chickens. And it's just like fun. It's like fun to have. It's like homesteading. It's like Whitney on Mormon Wives homesteading. They are gonna have maybe like a little farm, but it's not gonna be like,

they're not gonna be producing, you know, vegetables for the community, you know, but they can homestead a little bit. So maybe when he says mini farm, maybe that's what he means. Yeah, but if you say I grew up on a farm. That's my dissertation about farms. Yeah, I know, I come from Texas.

But you know, when you say like, I'm from a farm, if you're from just a house with a chicken and a cow, that's not really, that's poser material right there. I would say. My mom's a hobbyist, but then you just say, oh, I grew up, you know, my mom was really close, so close to animals that we had a couple farm or something, but you don say, oh, I grew up, you know, my mom was really close, so close to animals that we had a couple farm or something, but you don't say like, I grew up on a farm

and then try and roll it back. I think maybe she was horse shaming him too, you know, because I felt like he was like, oh God, she means she likes horse farms and I'm not that fancy. I don't have any horse, those are expensive, you know? So maybe it's like, well, it's just, it's not really even a farm, I guess. I guess I have pets, I guess I have a cow.

The cow confuses me because like I know of people who are like trying to do like a little bit of the farm thing and then they have like, they'll have like chickens. So it's like farm-esque, but it's like chickens are, don't take up that much space and they're pretty like, I think like relatively low maintenance compared to like a cow.

Chickens are terrorists by the way. Don't get chickens. Well, they're out of their minds. Everybody thinks they want fucking chickens until you get them and they chase you around and peck at your feet and like hurt you. They'll hurt you. They will chase you around. They're terrorist-a-sah.

They are also hilarious. I went to, like 10 years ago, I went to Kauai, in Hawaii, and that island, what I love about the 10 years ago, I went to Kauai, you know, in Hawaii. And that island, what's what I love about the island is that, like, fatefully, many years ago, there was a hurricane that came by and there were some chickens that were like in a coop and like the hurricane blew the coop open and all the chickens got loose. And now the island is overrun with chickens. And you just see these frantic chickens just out of their mind, just racing around and they are just, they are, they're like Leah McSweeney, you know, just throwing

torches and they just are like, they just think that everything's going to shit and they are alarmist and, and I just, you just are standing there and they're just zipping around and you're like, why are you so bothered, chickens? We're just trying to get to the beach and you're acting like we're trying to murder your whole family. Yeah, chickens are crazy. And the hardest part of video games,

like Breath of the Wild, you know, like a Zelda game when you have to play, is catching the fucking chicken. I mean, I've taken years catching the chicken, you know, where I just can't do it. So anyway, chickens are monsters. And so she's like, well, I want chickens. I want to have a chicken coop. That's my goal.

Ashley, aim higher, girl. My God. You can do that, you know. You can do it right now. Just put it on the kitchen countertop where you put everything else. It's where you're raising your children, for Christ's sake. Chicken coop is the easiest goal of the farm.

It's the cow that's hard. It's the horse that's hard, not the chicken coop. So he's like, well, as you should, as you should have a chicken coop. So I guess that was a match. I don't know, I didn't get it. I mean, I personally say find some hair products, buddy. But they, and Gisele's like, I like Josh for her rot.

And she's like, I did buddy, yes, because farms. And so then she, you know, they're like, so Gisele, you like names? And she's like, yeah. And then, so now they have to make an announcement and they kick out all the, you know, gays. And then we go to Karen and Ray's house. Dun, dun, dun. Ray Ray, Ray Ray, Ray Ray, what you doing, gays. And then we go to Karen and Ray's house. Dun, dun, dun.

Ray Ray, Ray Ray? Ray Ray, what you doing, Ray Ray? He's like, well, I'm watching the new pool cleaner over here. We've got a new pool cleaner? She comes out in a bikini and a little robe. Oh, it's a machine. It's a machine pool cleaner. All right, pool boy.

No. All right. He's like, it has four wheels. Look, it has four wheels. Look, it goes up to the side. It's going up. It's going down. She's like, yes, yes, yes.

I see that, honey. It's very nice. Very nice. Okay, darling, let's go over here to the gazebo. Okay. Stop staring at the pool. It's just nice to have a friend in this family who can drive. All right, Ray.

That's enough. Okay, darling, let's go over here to the gazebo. Okay, stop staring at the pool toy. It's just nice to have a friend in this family who can drive. All right, Ray, that's enough. He's like, wow, it rained a little bit yesterday, but it didn't bother the pool toy. The pool toy is my friend. Okay, Ray. So, you know, I've been waiting and waking up every morning since the accident because I find that I have that quiet time to reflect on everything that I'm going through. And I realized that I was in emotional wreck last night, that night. And it made me reflect

because I was so angry with you. It was your fault, the anger that I experienced. And I'm going to put a little bit of blame on that pool toy. I'm not going to lie. That pool toy was probably to blame too. I just didn't know if our marriage was gonna make it. Hold on, let me sip on this lemonade. No shout out intended to Beyonce. Love you Beyonce, call me. Sorry about everything going on with Jay-Z. I'm sure it's all lies.

Love you B. Talk about me again. You know, I felt a lack of support from Ray prior to the accident and it just bubbled over. Well, actually the champagne bubbled over, but then that champagne did remind me of Ray. So it was like Ray champagne. Ray and the champagne just bubbled over. Well, actually, the champagne bubbled over, but then that champagne did remind me of Ray. So it was like, Ray, champagne. Ray and the champagne both bubbled over. I got mad at the champagne. I said, screw you, champagne.

I'm not listening to you. And I swallowed it so it couldn't talk back to me anymore. So she is basically having the gut, the balls to stand up here and say that it's Ray's fault. She got a DUI because of his lack of support prior to the accident. It just sent her over the edge, and she got so drunk that she got in trouble with the popo.

Yeah. And that's some nerve. And Ray has... Ray is just Teflon. Ray does not care. Ray is just like, I'll be dead. Like, literally, what do you want from me? Like, you're not getting anything Ray is just like, I'll be dead. Like literally what he want from me. Like you're not getting anything. He's like, listen, I'm trying to be extra supportive.

You know, look, I got something that could drive you places. Your new pool boy. Come on, pool boy, get Karen a ride. Ray, that's not funny, Ray. Hold on, I do have to go to the Home Goods. Blah. Ray, this is not great, Ray. You'll get there soon, honey.

Listen, Ray, I've been going through a lot. Ashley's been talking about making a coop for those dirty birds and it's just stressful because well, you know, I've been feeling like I've been trying to be extra supportive of you this season, the situation and you know, I've, you know, sort of been a taxi cab to you a little bit and driving you around. it's nice, you know, you know, so that way you don't have to be behind the wheel at this point. I'm like, she can't be behind the wheel. It's not that she doesn't, that way she doesn't have to be, it's that she can't, she's not allowed.

And she's like, I can't say how grateful I am, but you know, I just don't think we can ever take our marriage for granted again, because I've already had two, two infractions, Ray. I'm getting a real citation from the governor. And so Ray is like, yeah, you know, we've been together a long time. And they've been together 28 years. And she's like, and I ain't aged today, Ray Ray. And he's like, I know,

I don't know how it just happens to me. She's like, oh, you look good. Our marriage is not perfect, but we work on it. And when it's, you know, losing a few bricks and mortar, we repair it with more spackle. We just fight for it. We have love spackle in between our bricks and our mortars and our friendship and our love is one thing that brings us through

and we're in a good place and that's why we're an institution because we have bricks in the institution, yes. -♪ PFFT! -♪ And so kissy time. So then we go to, uh, Kierna and Mia having lunch. And Mia, you know, performative ass Mia is like, Okay, Gordon, it's important for us to talk through

things so refreshing. Let's stay that way. Gordon, poor mania. Gordon, anybody here? Anybody have an audio straight jacket for Gordon? He's really losing his mind. Gordon. Hi, you gave me the lunch menu, but I think I need the mania menu because that's where that's Gordon's and mania. So I'm in here now also with him. So Kierna walks in and she's wearing a polo shirt that has Greg's organization on it. And I guarantee you, Greg was like, look, I'm not so into you being on this show, but if you're going to be on this show, you have to promise me that at least once, you're gonna wear my polo shirt. Because she, her makeup is done, her hair is on,

she looks beautiful, and then she's wearing this polo shirt. And you know, it wasn't like, oh, I just came from work. Because she's all done up. Like, she put time into her look. She's like, fine, I'll wear Greg's polo shirt today. You can't tell me that that was straight from work. So, um, she comes in and, uh, Kieran is like, okay, you know, I'm straight out of the office.

You know, Greg's family really loves me. So I went in today and I had a note on my desk that said, this isn't your desk, you stupid bitch. Get out of this office. no one wants you here. They are just so funny. Just treating me like one of the family. Just love it here. BOWEN LAUGHS BOWEN So, Kieran was like,

okay, well, tell me where you're coming from. Like, what's going on? Like, what's going on with you, Mia? And I think it's so funny that Mia came out of nowhere for Kieran to basically haze her, and now she needs Kieran's advice and help with this whole situation. So, Mia's like, well... She leaves a newbie because no one else will listen to her fake drama with her husband anymore. So she's like, you'll do it. You'll do it. Guys, I can trust her.

She's dating someone who used to be a social worker. She's in the field. She keeps saying she's in the field. I'm like, her boyfriend is in the field and she helps out in the office. She's in the field of psychology. She goes facial. She's like, here's what you should do with Gordon. Does he have blackheads? Does he have clogged pores?

Okay, let's take care of those. Does he have oily patches? What is, listen, I know that Gordon has mania. We get it. What is his skin type? Does he need Botox? That might help. So, and also, by the way, they keep showing the clip of Jassy's lunch when Mia is so shady

and is like, oh yeah, there's Greg. He works, he's a social worker. Yeah, you can tell. So she's like, kind of like shading Greg for being a social worker. But now, of course, look who comes crawling back for Greg's advice through Kierna. So Mia is talking about how, um, you know, she has to deal with Gordon's mood, just to work around it and negotiate with it.

And, you know, this is like not something that's new to her household. And Gordon's going through a really bad episode and she's just trying to help and understand him. She's such an asshole. She's such an asshole, really. Oh my God, Gordon's going through such a bad episode. He is not, he was just on the phone with you like, yes, you know, that's great.

We're working everything out, raising the kids together. Everything is great. She's like, he's insane right now. She's still talking about him getting mad, he's confronting her on TV about the whole ink parentage thing. She's the worst, but also really funny, so. Like, I can't, they can't make me hate you, Mia.

So, yeah, so Mia's basically like... Yeah, you know, Kay's in the field. So she shows, she knows, she also knows shows compassion and she shows understanding. Um, and so we, Karen is basically saying like, well, I know you're probably used to dealing with Gordon under these circumstances. Uh, and it's probably because you've dealt with it in your marriage and you feel like, you know, Oh, I can handle it, but it's not a big deal, but it is a big deal. And kind of basically says that despite her differences with Mia, like when it comes to mental health stuff,

she's always going to be there and help someone. And you know, she's like, I don't have a professional take on this because I'm not a professional. I just come by the office and drop off his food at a social worker office, but they probably need to be a part. Um, I would like to interrupt this podcast to point out that Bueller has a rainbow coming out of his butt behind me.

Can you see that, Ben? I can't see it. Wait, hold on. Oh my goodness, he does. There's a rainbow shining. Because a listener years ago gave me this Trixie Monaco octopus thing that's like a rainbow thing that you put on your window. Her daughter made

it. I love it. And it's on my window. And so a certain time of day it it shines in a rainbow into the room. And Bueller is just sitting right. Bueller is indeed the pot of gold. The butt of gold at the end of the rainbow. You're shooting a rainbow out of your butt hole, Bueller. Oh my gosh. Bueller's like, I want a chicken coop. What'd you say? I said Bueller's like, I want a chicken coop.

So then, yeah, so Kierna's like, so do you think his behavior is being triggered? Because you were fine the other day, and she's like, so do you think his triggers being triggered? Do you think his behavior is being triggered? Because you were fine the other day. And she's like, oh my God. But then you didn't see when it wasn't on TikTok. Then he came back from the bathroom and he was really mean. But I didn't put that part on TikTok. So people are missing the mania because of my TikTok posting.

I'm just not posting proper manias is I guess the problem. I really need to like up my mania posting, I think is what you're saying. So I went to lunch with Mia and she said I needed to post more of your mania. So let's work on that. Jen was like, well, I think it would trigger anybody. I mean, this whole situation and you know, he's probably feeling a bit emasculated, you know, in his mind, he still thinks that there's a chance. She goes, yeah, you're right.

It is a problem, you know, because, you know, this morning he goes, I think we should like get back together and not and just not be intimate. Like, do you think ink will be okay with that? And I'm like, hashtag mania, get out of it. And Karen was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, look, basically, she's like, you guys need to get some space. Like, this is not a healthy situation. like, you guys need to get some space. Like this is not a healthy situation. And Karen was like, okay, you know, also just to clear this up, so is Inc the dad?

Like what's going on? Because I don't want to, you know, I don't want to speak on that if somebody asks me, you know, and she's like, oh, well, we're gonna get a test, but I personally don't think that Jeremiah is Ink's father. Now I told everybody that that baby, didn't she say the baby came from Invitro or something? Why are we acting like, I forget what her deal was,

how she said she had Jeremiah, but I thought she said she had Invitro. I'm so confused. I personally don't think that Jeremiah, well, first of all, she says, I don't think that Jeremiah is Ink's birth father, which is, I would say that's probably true too, because Ink is a few decades older than Jermia, but I know what she meant. And she goes like,

is he stepping in and fathering this little boy? Absolutely. Is he maybe the father? Absolutely. But do I think he's the father? Absolutely. But is he probably the father? Absolutely. But do we know that he's not the father? Absolutely. It's like, wait, which one is it? If we were watching the Godfather and you took God out of the title, would that be ink? Probably. Absolutely. What are you saying? Who do you think is Jeremiah's father? It's Gordon ink.

What Gordon Go in Gordon ink. What? Gordon. Gordon. It's Gordon. So, Kieran is like, okay, so, yeah. She was like, well, I'm willing to take a paternity test for Gordon, but Gordon's not in support of a paternity test right now. Oh, yeah, what a bastard. Yeah. So Kiernan is like, so, you know,

you can kind of break it up a bit, you know, but this isn't appropriate. So, you know, I'm gonna have Greg send you tools so you can have a checklist for yourself to make sure that you wanna try some of those techniques, okay? Oh, you have mania techniques? That would be great.

Sure, sure. We're gonna get you a packet together. It's gonna be great. We have a very specific package tailored to you called Don't Brag About Your Fuckboy to Your Husband Sugar Daddy Who Has Mania. Very specific and bring it on TV. It's very specific to your needs, okay?

So now we go to a date with Ashley and Josh. Um, and... Put us this booklet of techniques. I'm sorry, I can't get that out of my head. What techniques are you sending to Mia? What are you talking about? I'll send you a pamphlet of techniques. Get the fuck out of here.

Kierna's full of shit too. Okay, go on. Go ahead. No, I don't think so. I think, like, I'll send you a pamphlet of techniques. Get the fuck out of here. I'm sure it's full of shit too. Okay, go on. No, I don't think so. I think like, I think it's, I'm sure there are resources that are like, if you are, if your loved one is a bipolar person and this situation happens with that situation happens your ways, you can deal with it. That's probably what it is. Okay. Okay. So then they, so now we go over to Ashley and Josh and they're on their date at kick-axe throwing. And Ashley's just saying, she's like, yeah, I had a great,

you know, I had to go with Josh. You know, I had a great conversation with him. And then we see them talking about building a chicken coop. The chicken coop is like a new thing for her. And- You know, this is real love because they're at an ax throwing place. So. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's where all the love starts on Bravo.

He's throwing those axes. So he knows he only has one episode. So he pulls out his his Bachelorette trauma right away. They don't have time to spare. So he talks about how he had cancer. He had a really serious cancer. Actually, it was what was it? Thyroid cancer. He had a really serious cancer actually. It was, what was it? Thyroid cancer. It's scary.

Yeah, thyroid cancer. That's like a serious, really serious. I mean, all cancer is serious, but that's scary. But, you know, he had cancer and he got through it and stuff, but he just wants to be a good example and all that stuff. So that was pretty good. That was pretty crazy that he did that. And then so Ashley is like, okay, so what are you looking for? And he's like, family oriented. Listen, I'm really into somebody who likes chicken coops. Oh my God, I love chicken coops.

But the thing is he's 30, which I think is gonna be a problem. And she's trying to be like, well, well, he survived cancer, so he's like a mature 30. I'm like, yeah, but he's still 30. And... that's not gonna work out. Sorry. Yeah. And, um, he's just like, do you mind that I have kids? And he's like, no, not at all.

But I think the answer needs to be more like, no, you know, I've always wanted kids or something. Not just like, I don't mind that you have them, you know, put them in a crate. Let's keep going. He is not interested. He's like, no, no, not at all. Do we have to see them or talk to them

or interact with them? Yeah, I think you want to be like, I love kids. Oh my God, that's my dream to be a father to someone. Yeah, but you don't have, you know, dream, to be a father to someone. Yeah. But you don't have, you know, look, you don't have to have chemistry with Ashley. We've watched Ashley manufacture chemistry for 10 years now. Like, what season is this?

10? 9? Nine years. Something like that. Nine, season nine. Yeah. But either way, it's a nice date, and they wind up kissing at the end. So it seems like there's like a little bit of a spark there, at least for now. And now we go over to Mia's place with the kids and Jeremiah has

like thrown slime onto the ceiling. She's like, she's like, get that off my ceiling. I feel like you're gonna have a whole bunch of marks and stuff up there. And so she's like, okay, so they're just sort of like doing some they're like making cookies and stuff, like just hanging out in the kitchen. And Mia, Jeremiah is like, Hey, why do you and dad live in two different places? And Mia's like, Well, I remember I told you we're getting a divorce. He's like, Um, I don't think you explained that to me. She's like, I did. Look at her not even telling them she doesn't tell the kids. And then she waits

until they're on camera and is like, don't you remember? I told you we're getting divorced. He's like, no. He's like, I don't. He said, say what? I don't think you explained that to me. She's like, I did it. No, why don't you just do it on fucking camera? You classy asshole Mia. What the fuck, man? So he goes, okay, then why are you getting divorced? And she's like, well, you know, mommy and daddy can't really get along all the time. Does that make you sad?

And he's like, it's kind of a mixed feeling. She's like, a mixed feeling? Okay, I'll take that. So then Gordon comes in and he's like, so how's everything going? And Jeremiah's like, we're talking about our feelings. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. And he's like, oh, okay. And she's like, yeah, the kids want to do cookies. And she goes, so they thought it'd be kind of cool if you came to help. And by the way, Gordon, okay, can you hear me, Gordon? Does your mania allow you to hear me right now?

So right when you were walking in, the kids and I were actually having a conversation about our relationship and things like that. So I'm actually glad that you're here because maybe you can help navigate it. Okay, so I was explaining to Jeremiah who, maybe your son, but maybe not, I don't know. Oh, sorry, I hope no one heard that. Anyway, I was explaining to Jeremiah

that mommy and daddy are getting divorced and that does not mean that we don't love them any less. We're always gonna be a family, right? So, are you still sad, Jeremiah?" It's like, what? What's wrong with her? What? This kid, geez. God. And he's like, yeah, just why? Explain. Explain to me why you're sad.

Because his parents are fucking getting a divorce, you asshole. You just told him on national TV, what's wrong with you? And he's like, I want you to be together. And she goes, well, you want us to be together? I mean, while we are practically daddy just lives right upstairs. Can't you hear him banging his head into walls and falling down and screaming at people who aren't there? He has mania, honey.

Gordon's like, but isn't it okay for him to be sad? I would be upset if he wasn't sad. Oh my God, the mania has taken over. Guys, everyone take cover. He's about to blow. Gosh. So he goes, I mean, even though we may want it, it doesn't mean the kids do. She goes, oh, so you do want us to divorce.

Wow. Wow. Who are you today? Gordon or Bill? Gordon, Bill, who's in there? Speak to me, wow. Who are you today? Gordon or Bill? Gordon? Bill? Who's in there? Speak to me, Gordon. So he says, you know, I resign myself to the fact that it's, you know, it's that it's kind of whatever like you've shown that that that's that and like that's what you've wanted and I've resigned myself to life after Mia. So he's kind of he's kind of being like I didn't want this you wanted this

he's kind of being like, I didn't want this, you wanted this. So, which is sort of like, you know, he's trying very, I shouldn't say he's trying, but he's, you can see he wants to say more, but he is holding back because the kids are there. And she's just trying to manufacture consent in all of this. She's like, oh, so you do want it,

but he's like, no, no, I'm saying you want it. And I've resigned my life to life after me. And she goes, oh, sounds like a novel. So she's like, you know, I think what you and I both agree on is that we put the kids first, right? And he goes, yes. And I think we've done great, you know, that whole like not telling them until they're ready thing.

We did great with that one. So she's like, yeah, you know, that whole like not telling them until they're ready thing. We did great with that one. So she's like, Yeah, you know, I just want to preserve their child. I'm one of the important to have an open dialogue, but I want to preserve their innocence, you know, so I just gaslight them and pretend they already know things. So then she sends them out. Oh, she brings them in. So she's like, Come here, guys, do you guys know what marriage is? And he's like, yes. And she goes, okay, what is it?

And he's like, I don't know. She goes, okay, marriage is what mommy and daddy are in. It's when you find someone that you love very, very much and they have a lot of pamphlets that need to be stacked and returned for lots of stacks of cash. So then you decide you want to spend your life with them. So you get married and then you have babies. And then Juju, they knew this moment was going to happen someday. Juju's like, I have a question. Where did you guys find each other? He's like

in Charlotte. But what place did you see her? Southeast Charlotte. But where were you? Met at a club. What type of club? Special club. What's the address of the club? Is it on Google Maps? What Yelp reviews does it have? Can I go to it? The editors are so sh- She really is.

It's like, did it smell like hand lotion and gasoline? What? Could you wear a ball gown? Oh God, watching them like tap dance around this. And then of course they show like a flashback to like 2019 of them saying during that game, we met at a strip club. Yeah. The way the editors were just like, they were playing like clown music in the background, by the way, while they were getting grilled. So then Mia's like, and don't you think she's probably heard at school?

She's like trying to get it out of them. And Mia's like, okay. So, so Juju whispers to Gordon, Mia's still pretending everything's perfect over there. And Juju whispers to Gordon. And she's like, well, I have a question for you. And then Jeremiah, meanwhile, is like singing. Oh, mommy and daddy sit in a tree.

And he is like, I can't climb trees, but your dad probably can because it's like he fell out of one. And now there's birds flying around his head 24 hours a day. So while Mia is like tending to Jeremiah, who's singing this like KISS ING song, Juju whispers to Gordon and goes, what if Mr. Ink actually marries Mommy? God, it's so old. Gordon's like, wait, huh? He's like, well, it's up to her.

And Mia's like, what's that? Nothing. These kids are picking up on everything. It's- Jeez, so rough. So she's like- These scenes are wild. Sometimes in marriage, people grow apart.

Are you okay with mommy and daddy not spending forever together? And she's like, no, you can't marry Mr. Ink. You hear that? You get what you get and you don't get upset. And I was like, whoa. Just pointed her and Gordon like, you're married and you chose this guy. You chose this. And now I mean, wow, that she has it even in a rhyme. I was like, wow're married and you chose this guy. You chose this and now, I mean, wow.

That she has it even in a rhyme. I was like, wow. Yeah, yeah. Juju, Juju laying down the law. I mean, it was amazing. And he was like, wow, coming from a seven year old is pretty strong. It's a pretty powerful statement.

I think that she's right. But I also gave this man 15 years of my life. And I do hope that one day she will learn to understand that but that's gonna come as she grows older. Here's a rhyme for you, you little brash, you little brat. It's not rash if he's run out of cash. Okay. Go to your room. If you got time to lean,

you got time to clean up your mouth. Stop saying those things. I'm your mother. So the cookies come out and they're going to decorate the cookies and everything. And basically the kids go off to another room and Mia's like, wow, crazy. So Gordon's like, like, look, my opinion is we need to have another conversation with those kids because that was a little disjointed. He's basically like that caught me off guard.

I just walked in to make cookies with the kids and then all of a sudden we had this conversation. We should like do it again and do it properly. And she's like, well, I've worked so hard to protect their innocence, you know? So I wanna keep it that way. And he's like, babe, like what about when they get married? How are they gonna view life at that point?

How are they gonna view relationships? We have to help them understand what's going on or they're gonna repeat the cycles. You've been married twice now and I think he has too. Wasn't he married when he met Mia? I think so. Yeah, he was. And he's like, you know, and I don't want that life for them.

And she's like, well, but I also want them to know their worth and when it's time to leave when he no longer has worth. And so, then we see clips of their relationship and stuff. And, um, her saying, you took my phone and locked me in a room, and him saying, well, you've been having an affair for 10 years. Hmm. So, um, Mia's like, she's like,

you know, I did, by the way, Gordon, I did meet up with Kay the other day, and she and her fiance, well, her boyfriend, whatever it is, he's in the mental health industry. She's in the field. And so like she did come to meet me for coffee and she said, we need to build some boundaries. She starts doing the thing that you were saying Stacey was doing, which is instead of Mia saying we need boundaries, she's like, Karen says we need to build boundaries.

And Karen also says that you're a troubled man. And Karen also says that you have to stop coming over here during cookie time. So, uh, he's like, okay. It's just like, yeah. And you, she thinks that like you living in the building is ludicrous. So you should move out. Cause Kierna says you should move out. He's like, yeah, but it's, it's working for me. I think it's probably working for you too. Yeah. She goes, well, I mean, it works for me in the most part. But like speaking of boundaries, Inc. thinks I need to set more boundaries with you, you know, because I'm not emotionally available for him because I'm always so concerned about you, you know what you've got going on. So I just don't

have anything left in me to give. That's you just a real fucking giver over there. Mia. Yeah, she's like, I need to get this divorce and stop worrying about, like, you know, taking care of Gordon so I can move on and heal. And that's how I intend to live the rest of my life. Yikes. We'll see. We'll see. It's so messy.

These Mia and Gordon scenes are just wild. I can't... Dropping on our kids like that, that you're getting a divorce is really beyond the pale. Even for her. That was pretty shocking. It's just all brushed under the rug. Like, no, Binge, okay, go play with your, go play with your fucking dolls now.

The hell is wrong with you? It's wild. But anyway, that was the end of the episode. It was still a fascinating and entertaining episode. Thanks everyone for being here. Be sure to get tickets to our shows at WatchWhatCrappens.com and be sure to join us on Patreon. And we will see you on our very next recap. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney put your hands together for

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