Watch What Crappens - #2649 RHOBH S1404 Part One: Sister Act

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

This is part one of a two-parter! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills continues their trip to Oceanaide with a vow to act like sisters. Unfortunately, they choose to act like the Richards sisters and fight a lot. Ah well, at least Dorit gets some stuff off her chest. Again. And again. And then more. To watch this recap on video, listen to all of our bonus episodes, and join in our new community chat, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. And Audible makes it easy to be inspired and entertained as a part of your everyday routine without needing to set aside extra time. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalog. Explore themes of friendship, loss, and hope with remarkably

bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Watch What Crappens, watch what crappens, guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Well, hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, good to see you, hon. Everybody welcome, this is Wednesday, December 11th

for anyone keeping track. And it's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Day. We just went on sale for our mounting hysteria tour of 2025. We began very soon at the end of January. So go get your tickets. We're going to all of the cities, every place. We're going to every city in America. So to see the list of cities, get tickets,

go to watch at crarapins.com. For all the Texans and the Charlotte people wondering what the hell happened to us, our schedule people made a little mistake. So sorry, we are going to those places, but those tickets will not be announced until the 17th. So check back on the 17th for Texas and Charlotte. Or right now.

And you'll know, you'll know. You'll know where we're gonna be and how to do it. And we're going to keep adding cities. We're looking at different places. You know what? Because we're out. So we might as well just go every place, shake hands, pat babies, etc. We're going to be the mayors of America, okay? Also, this is on demand, as usual, on video. If you'd like it on video, go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. It's also where you get our bonus episodes, which currently is the new season, the starter season of sold on SLC, which is a hilarious new show that five people are watching.

So go check that out over on Patreon. And I think that's all the announcements. Do you have any other ones? Just that I really enjoy you. I'm announcing that I enjoy Ronnie Karam. That's my announcement. Well, aren't you just a sweeter Peter? I'm going to announce that I love Bravo too.

And I think Bravo put on a great night of TV last night, including Real Housewives of New York. I loved that episode last night. And so we'll be recapping that. Yep. Uh-huh. Uh-huh New York. I loved that episode last night. And so we're recapping that. Yep. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yep. You heard it from here. Are you? What? That episode sucked ass. That's why I was so angry this morning.

Were you, are you just, are you in a positive, are you just forcing yourself to be positive? Is it one of those things where like there's a manic breakdown coming and you're just forcing positivity or what's happening? I loved it. I don't know what happened. I don't know. Am I crazy? You know what? I woke up this morning and told Ronnie, I was like, Ronnie, I am on one today. I am on one. I am not in the mood. So maybe it's like bizarro. Like maybe I was like, I woke up salty, but then because I watched New York this morning, so maybe I had to watch New York in a really bad mood

to feel like it was the best episode ever. Maybe compared to the world you're currently living in, it was just amazing. You know, I don't know. But, well, that's good. I mean, listen, you know, I love when people are unique. I love some uniqueness, and I think you're the only person in the country that I've seen with that opinion this morning.

So you know what, let's go with it. I love it. That's hilarious. I really thought you'd be like, I know. Just hit like brick wall, but you know what? That's fine. That's for another recap and that will be their next recap. But today it's obviously Beverly Hills.

It's Beverly Hills. So man, I sure hope Dorit has a chance to get things off her chest. I was, wait, okay, here's another litmus test. I was totally on Dorit's side for this. I loved Dorit just taking it to Kyle. Am I still a pariah here? No, no, no, you're back on the right side of the picture.

Well, of course, everybody likes seeing Kyle, well, at least lately, everybody likes to see Kyle get it. It's just Dorit, you know, it's like, and another thing like girl, it is episode four, and she's still on the same fucking. This is so Dorit though, because Dorit began the Beverly Hills history. Well, I don't know if I would give this to Dorit or Eileen of bringing one thing and making it last for 20 episodes of the season where it's every every episode, Lucy, Lucy, Applejuice. With Dorit, it was like, Erica, your vagina's showing.

That was the whole thing for that year. And then there was the Lucy, Lucy, Applejuice year, where it was the whole one minute little thing every day for the rest of our lives. And now it's, coil, you've been mean to me, I will not take it, coil. But man, that Dorit just picks at one thing and just goes for it.

She does, she does. Grace time is over, Kyle. But you know what? I really, you know, we've seen her be tenacious with all sorts of people, season after season, and it's like, you want to pull your hair out. So seeing her be tenacious to Kyle is actually, that's like finally she's using her energies

towards the right person. You know, like, you know, it was, it was tiresome watching her with Garcelle going after Garcelle when she was clearly in the wrong. Although I did enjoy Garcelle getting her licks in today. You know, just always sort of stick it right in there with Doreen, which is so fun. But like this is finally like it was

put in the right. I have a lot to say. I'm not even you know what I'll just say it as it goes. I'm just gonna layer in my thoughts today. Okay. That's good. Like a five bean dip. Like a Rachel haircut layers. Why have I been thinking of being dead? This wasn't the first time I've said it. I mean, I've been saying it in my head a lot. I don't know why. Okay, so here we are. This episode is called Twisted Sisterhood. I literally had to Google why it was called this because I didn't get it. Yeah.

I mean, I get the pun, but like I don't get the why. Because they tied the, certain ties that ribbon around their hands to make a sisterhood vow. But I thought it was a Kyle and Kathy fight. So I was waiting the whole time for a Kyle and Kathy fight. And the only person Kathy really fought with was a candle that she like pulled up to her mouth and tried to breathe in. I don't know what she was doing. Yeah, I don't know. But you know what?

God bless. God bless her. So we continue from the last episode at the Vaya restaurant in Ussian side. Tariq has just told Kyle, oh, did you see that interview with Lisa Vanderpump this week? There are these two girls where they're like, so Lisa, Kyle's having some problems

on this season of The Real Housewives Girl. And it's just so funny watching 20 year old people interact with Vanderpump. They're just like, what do you think of Carl and Durek getting in a fight? And she's like, oh, Kyle's terrible. I haven't watched the season, I'm not watching that bullshit, but I'll tell you this,

Kyle's a terrible friend. They're like, oh, cool! Does anybody have cream for my tea? And then the two girls look down, they realize they're in mini skirts and are holding little trays like, wait a second, how do we become waitresses? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Magic!

Don't forget, from five to seven, they're not goat cheese bowls, they're goat cheese empanadas! I will give you the scoop that you need, but in return, you shall be serving scoops of Lisa Vanderbilt by Scream. Your waitress is now. She's like Ursula. She's like, I'll give you everything you want. Viral fame, retweets, likes, clicks,

and all I need in return is for you to be my waitress. So they were pretty funny, But that interview was good. She just let Kyle have it too. And she just never bothers watching it. She's like, well, she's terrible. I've told you years ago. Is there anything else that you need? She was a terrible friend to me.

Yeah, that was good. So, now, yes, we return to this dinner, which is at the corner of a, there's basically a prominent stop is at the corner of a... There's basically a prominent stop sign in the middle of the backdrop, which is both a good metaphor and also just shows that they're a little eating on like a street corner with pedestrians walking by, which I commented on last week and it still tickled me this week. Yeah, it's eating on the ocean, isn't it? Where they're like, oh wow, look at the beautiful view. Right next to you, right behind this plexiglass

is a man shooting up heroin and masturbating. It's like, wow, what a lovely meal, thank you. Yeah, I was sort of expecting someone to come by on like a bike with like a boombox playing some song, trying to get people to like pay money for him to like drive him around or something, you know, like one of those touristy things or something to come by with a cart with like

cotton candy and stuff. Salted fruit. So Dereese, I call you for whatever reason, you treat me in a certain way and there's two set of rules and God forbid if I don't have absolute blind loyalty and I mean bland to a fact, you're okay to make little comments. You do little digs, you digs. Might I say bully?

Little jabs, little jabs. Jab-a-let, the jabs are happening. And then Kyle's like, I actually always defended you, and I have loyalty towards you, except for all the times I'm not loyal towards you. And Tweet's like, but if heaven forbid, I make a little misstep, like,

PK stepping on a Pringles tin, you punish and you won't speak to me for six months. And Kyle's like, Okay, that's true. And I acknowledge that. But you know, if you have these things building up, because I do have them building up, Kyle. I do. And let me tell you another thing. Kyle's like, um, well, well, they're not slushes the past couple of years. This is the way you treat me. This is the way you've always done it.

And I make one simple comment, and then remember what I said, oh, and I have to save Kyle's fashion show. And everyone's like groaning because, girl, you're bringing up Kyle by Shahida? Yeah. That is, but. This needs to take place on the Flintstone set.

I need to see a dinosaur being rung as a work of art. This is a long time ago she's calling back to. You know, what are you, bowling with boulders? Yeah, but those fashions have been seared into our brains forever, so it's really, it's like it never went away. And Dreet's like, it was a joke, big deal, because she made a comment about like,

I'm just thinking, I've got to save Kyle's fashion show from Kyle. So now she's like, it was a joke, big deal, and you didn't speak to me for six months. Six months, Kyle. And suddenly goes, oh my God, we're going back that far, Jesus. And Dreet, so Dreet just keeps going, and Kyle's like, well, oh my God, we're going back that far. Jesus. And Dorit just keeps going and Kyle's like,

well, first of all, I was starting a business and that was really, that was really hard on me. And like, it was exciting for me and you were putting me down, like making fun of me. Like I would never make fun of your business. Girl, you've made fun of every business that Dorit comes up with. Now, are you justified?

Of course, you were both justified. What show are you on? You're allowed to make fun of each other behind each other's backs. That's what this network is built on, ma'am, okay? Why don't you just take a sledgehammer to Bravo? You've got to be joking me. You've got to be joking me.

You can make fun. Oh, boo-kata-bippo, boo-kata-bippee, boo-kata-bippee, boo-kata-bippee, row the clip. And then we see, of course, a clip of Kyle making fun of the Capri room at Pucca de Pepo, which, like you said, was worthy of mockery. But nonetheless, it was still mockery. Yeah. And you know, her what she said wasn't so bad, but she was just like, I mean, do I feel like I've been transported

to Capri, Italy? No. But I do actually, because I just went to Capri this summer, as you know, for a second, like a hot second, because honestly, the entire town is on top of the mountain that you have to climb to get there. But you get to the top and it's just basically douchey people in fake Chanel walking all over. I mean, it does look like Duree. Jesse Lolley, actually, if you remember. He's like, I love Cabrera. We go there every year. Yeah. And I saw plenty of fake ass lemons hanging from things there too. So yeah. Like Jesse Lolley. Jesse Lolley. I can't wait for the ballet to come back, by the way. I know. Gonna be so good. So isn't it good? Isn't it? Carl's like, it looks amazing.

And then it just cuts to Carl going, no. So she's like, oh, it's okay for you. It's always okay. And another thing. Why is it funny for you, but not for me? And another thing. When I had the book and the peepee, how do you? And another thing.

It's like she just keeps saying and another thing, but it's the same thing over and over again. Carl's like, I didn't say it was, but it's the same thing over and over again. Because like I didn't say it was okay. And I didn't say it was funny. And he's like, well, and again, you've treated me a certain way for a sustained period of time and I'm fed up with it. Grace time is over. And Kyle's like, well, listen, I was a very good friend for many, many, many, many, many

years. And I love that Dereed didn't even get off her neck for two seconds. She just interrupts her and she's like, I was talking specifically about the way you've been a shitty friend in the last year. And she's like, oh my God, in the two years since I lost my best friend and I'm going through a fucking separation. Oh, for fuck's sake, take off the victim cloak. You don't get to pull the victim cloak every time you're called out

for being an asshole to someone. That's not how that works. Okay. And in the words of the great Kyle herself, oh, Lisa, we're all going through things. And Lisa Vanderpump's brother committed suicide. Shut the fuck up, Kyle. Yeah. So, Dorit's like, Kyle, I knew you were going through a hard time and I was not going to give you a hard time knowing what you were going through. That's why when you said to me the other night, gee, give me some grace. That's what I've been doing for two years and I've been taking it and taking it. Jabs coming inward, receiving jabs, little jabs taking it, taking it, taking it, taking

it, taking it, taking it. DIGGING IT, DIGGING IT, DIGGING IT, DIGGING IT! DIGGING IT, DIGGING IT, DIGGING IT! DIGGS AND DIGGS AND CHUPS AND CHUPS! BOODIES AND BOODIES AND CHEEZ AND CHEEZ! KEEBBLES AND BEARTS AND BEARTS AND BEARTS! AND ANOTHER THING, CHEE! AND ANOTHER THING, CHEP! AND ANOTHER THING, BOOLY! AND ANOTHER THING, AND ANOTHER THING, BABY BONBELLS! Bully! And another thing. And another thing. Baby bonbels! It has nothing to do with anything, I just would like to order one, please. And then you decide when it's convenient and when you're going to be mad at me.

And when I put one step wrong, you decide I'm going to freeze to eat out and I'm going to punisher. Did you get mad at Erika? And Erika's like, oh Jesus, why am I getting bullied in this bullshit? I'm gonna freeze Dorit out and I'm gonna punish her. Did you get mad at Erica?" And Erica's like, Oh Jesus, why am I getting bullied in this bullshit? Oh. Yeah, because that way you go back to that reunion clip

where Dorit read the email or the text message and Erica, and she's like, what would you think? And Erica's like, well, I would feel manipulated. So now she's like, well, why aren't you mad at Erica for saying that Erica would feel manipulated? Yeah. And so, yeah, Carl's like, oh, well, I was hurt by that, absolutely. However, that was the only thing that Erica did.

It wasn't like all these little things built up. I mean, I've named like 20 things that you've done. I mean, there was that time when... Sorry, um, as we go, please, please, let's not go through the list again. I know seriously, because the list is really bad. The list is the Bravo con thing with the shot when she spilled, like when, when Dorit said that Kyle is no longer her favorite and that Dorit did not defend Teddy Mellon camp enough at BravoCon. So it's pretty tenuous.

Like, let's not forget, Kyle's whole reasoning here is built on bullshit. Yeah, and I think, you know what? I think her best reason was last year, what she originally said. When Dorit was like, oh, now you're ignoring me. Now you're not friends with me anymore. Now that you're friends with Mugen. And Kyle's answer was like, well, I work out now me. Now you're not friends with me anymore. Now that you're friends with Mugen.

And Kyle's answer was like, well, I work out now and you don't like to work out. That's it. Because that's probably the closest to the truth that we're gonna get, which is basically like, I don't like you now. I found other people to hang out with. That's the truth.

Kyle just doesn't like her now. And I think that sometimes that happens. And I think sometimes you just need to say, you smell now. Yeah. I think, listen, there's reasons to distance yourself from Dorit. All she does is talk and she natters on and on and on and on and on. She doesn't stop.

Kyle has mentioned that. Kyle should have just led with that. She should have said, listen, all you do is talk. And you know, like I need friends who can hear about the fact that I was in Halloween. And instead I'm just hearing about you and Buco De Beppo. And that's can hear about the fact that I was in Halloween. And instead, I'm just hearing about you and Buco di Beppo. And that's just like not the friendship that I need right now.

Yeah. So Erica's like, wow, now Erica's like, no, I'm not in. I'm going to speak to my family. I was speaking to Andy. I was saying, Andy, I got eviscerated on my season and Kyle's story is very big. Are you going to do the same thing to Kyle? And Kyle's like, that's how I took it. It was totally fine.

Oh, Kyle, you know that if anybody, you know that if anybody else said that, you would be all over their ass. You're just afraid of Erica, you know? Yeah, Kyle, you can't be like, you can't be like reasonable and rational with some things and not with others. You know, like the Teddy thing and the BravoCon thing

are so like grasping at straws, but. Like the Teddy thing and the BravoCon thing are so grasping at straws, but then with the Erika thing, and I'm not saying that she should be mad at Erika, but then all of a sudden she chooses to be reasonable there. And I feel like Kyle is smart enough to know when she's whipping up an excuse to be mad. And so this is a total double standard. There's definitely a stronger reason to be mad at Erika

for saying eviscerate her ass. Like it's Kyle's turn to get eviscerated. Get her! Right. But like E's turn to get eviscerated. Get her! You know? Right. But like Erica's, you know, but at the same time, like a rational person could also say, like, Erica was saying, like, hey, I was held, I was like, don't, I was held to the fire. Are we all held to the same standards, right? Yeah. So like, don't be unfair to me. And so Kyle took it that way, but then she was willing to be totally ridiculous about the other

things. So then Kyle's like, that's how I took it. See, I took it that way, but then she's willing to be totally ridiculous about the other things. So then Kyle's like, that's how I took it. See, I took it. I'm smart. And she's like, why are you saying I should be mad at Erica? And I was like, no, I don't think you should get mad at her. But if I did something like that, you sure as shit would get mad at me. And Kyle's like, well, but she apologized to me. I'm like, I can't with Kyle. I can't, I can't. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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Spotify or Apple podcasts. So then Jennifer, Jennifer Chilly is like, the only thing I understand is this is some sort of beef that goes back years and years and years. It's impossible to keep up. I'm just hoping it'll die down soon so I can have my dinner. That was wildly too accurate, Ronnie. Too accurate.

Too accurate. I love her. She's amazing, but that was just saying. And then it just goes to her and go like, food tastes better when you eat it with your hands. And then she eats a taco. Like it's totally crazy for her to be eating a taco with her hands. And then Bose goes, I don't know what the fuck is going on. Let me just eat my food.

I love Bo's reaction to everything. It's just like, why am I with these losers? I know. Who put me on this? Did I leave corporate America for this? And she's like, look, none of these women give you what they think at face value. They're not direct. There's something underneath.

You pick up a stone over here and there's a rock under that. You pick up a rock and there's a toad. Is the toad sitting on something? Absolutely. Another rock. And then under that rock is a frog. And then the frog and the toad sort of have a homoerotic relationship. And you think, you should there's a toad. Is the toad sitting on something? Absolutely, another rock. And then under that rock is a frog. And then the frog and the toad sort of have a homoerotic relationship.

And you think you should be in a picture book. But instead under the picture book is a mushroom. And under the mushroom is a pebble. And under the pebble is an M&M. And under the M&M, it's like, okay, we get it. And under the M&M, and I told those M&Ms, I came up with your first campaign. I invented M&Ms before me.

It was just M. So then Sutton's like, well, I just, I want to ask for a second. I too have experienced the punishment where Kyle has not spoken to me for months at a time and we've just, you know, we've talked about it. And I say, Kyle, this is something you should work on. And then about seven months later, she said, OK, I will. So I think that's how you deal with Kyle. Kyle?

Kyle? Why is my face covered with a napkin right now? Kyle's like, be like a bird. Be quiet. OK, so you said you were right, and this is something you're going to work on. So Kyle's going to work on it. I just said, pretend it's a script from ER. And then she was like, OK, I'm in. I'll going to work on. So Kyle's going to work on it. I just said, pretend it's a script

from ER. And then she was like, okay, I'm in, I'll get to work. So I think this is fixable. I mean, I hope, I mean, not Kyle's personality, that's long been broken by her mom, but I think your relationship may be fixable. I don't know. You sound more angry than I knew though. I'm angry. I'm angry. I am. And another thing, she boing. Okay, look, Kyle, it's hard to hear when someone's angry at you and you don't like people to be angry at you. This is something, this is something you know. And she's like, well, nobody likes to feel that way. I know. But you especially don't want to feel, even though you make people so angry all the time, all the time, you make people angry and then you

get upset that they're angry at you. God, that is a hard thing to live with, isn't that, Kyle? But she is willing to work on that part of her personality. Oh, it's not just that one part. It's another thing. All right, just calm down, Norma Ray. Okay, just calm down over there. Honestly, Dorit, I have never seen you this angry in five years.

I mean, the way you've been thrusting your little hand puppet in people's faces, it is out of control. I'm stunned. It is pretty amazing though, because Dorit does not let up and she doesn't let Kyle get away with her, oh my God, blessed of her trauma, but oh my God, it hurt my feelings,

but oh my God, I'm hurt. She doesn't let her get away with any of that shit, so Kyle apologizes, which is very, very rare. I mean, that's a rare damn thing. Is it Groundhog's Day? She's never apologizes properly. She usually gives the apology Dorit just gives in a second, which is like, well, I'm sorry if you're mad, stupid.

That's usually a Kyle apology, but this time she actually did one. I was impressed. Yeah, well, because Dorit is not letting up because Dorit is like, excuse me, we're both here performing at Little Fair and your set is up. You had last season and now it's my season

to go through a separation and you're still performing on the stage. So I'm gonna need you to get off the stage and you're not off the stage yet. Yeah, this is my turn. This is Sarah McLaughlin talking to Indigo Girls. This is my turn for man misery. Get the hell out of here.

PK and I waited in a fucking canister, what do you call it in line, in queue. We waited in queue for this and now we've got to fucking deal with you taking up the stage still. Get off the stage. Dorit's got like the broom from like TV's bloopers and practical jokes, those guys in the broom.

She's like, all right now, Carl, get off the stage. I'm going to separation PK. I've got a toy. I've got this dinner was supposed to be about me telling everyone that PK is such an alcoholic. Come on, Kyle. Yeah. And she's like, Well, I didn't handle it right. And I'm apologize. I think okay. And I acknowledge that something I need to work on and I acknowledge I shouldn't have said what I said on Amazon live Which is live every once in a while Everybody should be there if you want to hear me say mean shit like this about the reading and so I can sell more shit

Those Amazon lives are crazy. I was listening to a podcast called shameless. It's these three Aussie chicks and I I love them They're very funny I've only listened to like three of them, but I really like them and they were talking about another podcast called the Goodbye Kyle podcast, which is a hilarious name for a podcast. And I guess they did a deep dive into these Amazon lives and how they're making money. And basically, have you ever watched one? I've never seen one before.

I think maybe once. I've seen clips of them, you know, when people put the clips up to go viral, but it's really smart. They're just basically, it's a home shopping network, but they're talking shit while they're selling stuff. It's like, hi, I'm Kyle.

I have this jacket. I really love jackets like this. My sister used to wear one when she was filming Disney movies. My sister's on drugs, by the way. You guys should all pray for her. Yeah, I'll take some questions about Kim right now. It's like, whoa. And they have the jacket up on the screen and they're just doing this off a jacket.

It's really, it's very, I feel like modern day America. You know, it's like, here's my traumas. But also while we're going through that, corning wear, am I right? Yeah, that's a, I'm surprised that Bravo did not, has not actually started to copy this. Because- Why don't we copy it? Well, should we just sell stuff in the background

while we're doing the podcast? 100%. I mean, I guess we already do. We have ads and stuff, but I think we should just take it further and get an Amazon storefront. And when I'm using my little face red light or whatever, just be like, you know, Kyle's a dick

and she deserves everything she's fucking getting. Thank God for this red light I'm using, by the way, it's really helping me with the stress of dealing with another season of Kyle. Thank God it's only 2.99 at Amazon. Would anyone like a tissue box? This tissue box comes to you discounted at $2 since it's semi-used.

Anyway, please use the link below, smash that like button and this will go right out to you. Would anybody like a snoring sissy dog? Well, he's right here. Gorilla tape, still in the package. Great to use, not just for gorillas. All right, so she gets an apology. So, Derea's like, well, I appreciate that. And let me calm down a minute

and let me just choose one accent for now, Coyle. I'm sorry that the text message that you sent me, that I read it with Erica and I showed her and spoke about it. And Erica turns to Bose and goes, always keep your text messages. Don't erase anything with these bitches. Mm-hmm.

And, Coil, one more thing. The thing at BravoCon was a joke. It was a joke, as everyone knew. It was a joke. It hurt me. And I am sorry that it hurt you. Wait a minute, that's not negating an apology. It's not genuine what you're saying.

Your apology is not genuine at all, Dory. Okay. I feel like you never owned anything and it always comes with this like fake apology. Kyle, I am very, very happy to own anything except maybe our house whenever ever I have done something ever. And you said to read this hurt me. And the first thing I said is, gee, I'm so sorry, Kyle. I'm so sorry that you're thin skinned and can't take a joke and are kind of stupid and like, excuse me, can I speak? No, no, no, I wouldn't agree with that. Um, you wouldn't agree with what?

With what she was saying in terms of like, you just can't say you're sorry. So you don't agree with me or with, you agree that I can say I'm sorry, correct? No. You don't agree with Kyle that I don't say sorry or I don't say sorry well, correct? No.

There's a lot of double negatives going on here. Hold on one second, let me bring another word into this. Yes. Wow. Wow. Wait, may I add a word? No. Gee. Wow.

No. Yes? Holy. What are we saying? No. Boys. Wow. Boy, George.

I agree that you don't say you're sorry. But I have to say Garcel was very confusing at this effort because there's so many double negatives. She's like, when she's like, when she's like, when the real is like, I own I own anything and cows like, no, you don't I own anything and cows like no you don't and as well goes no even I was like are you saying which one are you saying no to and just kept on saying no no and I just like it because it's just where you're so fed up she's not even talking about the actual sentences it's just like the whole idea

of Dorit she's just like no yeah she. Yeah. She just, it's like junk mail. It's like no. You see a dog sitting on a carpet and that's just all you do. No. You know, there's no, you know, negotiating. It's just no. So she's like, yeah, I don't, I'm not, she goes, I don't agree you don't do that. And Dorit's like, don't say sorry. She goes, I don't agree you don't do that. And Dorit's like, Vita, don't say sorry. She goes, yes. Well, at least it's a new word. Well, I'm not surprised that you agree with that. And let's be honest, Gossel.

She goes, okay, good. Well, I'm not your favorite person and you're very clear about that. Hashtag little jabs. I wouldn't expect you to actually not agree with what she has to say. Wait, did I say that correctly? There was about three negatives in that one.

No. Okay, well, then we're on the same page. Are we on the same page, correct? No, yes? Hmm, beautiful. No. Gotcha. Gotcha on that one.

Wouldn't you agree that we're not ever not on the same page? No. Gotcha on that one. Wouldn't you agree that we're not ever not on the same page? No. No, but wouldn't you not agree that you don't own things? Yes, but no. I'm lost. No. So, then it just cuts to Kathy, who's holding a candle up to her nose, and no one really understands.

Maybe she's trying to warm her face. I don't know. I wouldn't get my... I wouldn't get a candle that close to the rest of the lean in your face. Move it back. I know. It could... Listen. Things can go awry. So then, um, Dorit's like... It's quiet for like a minute, and no one knows what to say.

So Dorit's like, Guys, I'm gonna turn in. To what? like, guys, I'm going to turn in. To what? Just, no, I'm just going to bed. Or. I thought you were about to get interesting. A pumpkin, what do you think? That would be nice.

Does anyone else here want to go to bed? No. Of course you don't want to go to bed. I love Garcelle not giving a fuck and just being like, I hate you and that's it. I'm always going to hate you and I'm never going to like you. So that's all. That's all. That's all I require of you.

And wasn't it last year with Dereed? It's like, please, can we please just be friends? I'll do whatever it takes. And she's like, no. The end. It's like, no, I just don't like you. There's no coming back from this. Leave me alone. You know? So Kyle now tells us and she does that thing with her hands,

like she's serving a little platter. She's like, I came in here looking for resolution and like she came in tonight looking for a fight. I mean that girl that just like sat there screaming at me, I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is either. Because I was last time I checked, Dorit was not screaming at you. She was mad, but she was not screaming at you. But it's kind of funny because this is exactly what Dorit got into trouble with with Garcelle last season was that he was like, you just attacked me. And now Kyle is doing it to Dorit saying that Dorit was yelling at her.

Yes. So Dorit is, you know, she says bye to everybody and Erica walks her out and she asks her if she's okay. She's like, I'm uncomfortably cold. So then back at the table, Garcelle's like, where, where do we go from here? Where do we go? My lovely. Doo doo doo doo.

No. No more singing. So then. Bobbing her head to the side very slowly. Yes. So anyway, yeah, Doreed just walks Erica back to her room. And Doreed's just like, oh my god. So yeah.

So now with the next day, and everyone's getting ready for their afternoon activity, and you know, people are like, Kyle's blow drying her hair, Jennifer Chilly is trying on a hat, and she's like, oh, my initials are on it, in case I forgot who I am. And then Bo's FaceTimes with her daughter about packing so much, and she's like, well, I'm gonna have to pack again when we go to Brazil. And they just talk about that and cute outfits and stuff like that.

And Boze is like, we should match every single outfit and her daughter just stays silent. She's like, okay, that's way too much silence. I think I'm ready for Bravo to retire this trope of people FaceTiming people on vacation. I don't, I like, I literally never care. It's rarely ever been interesting to recap. It's just not what I'm tuning in for personally.

I think we could just skip these, not you and I, I'm just saying Bravo can skip these scenes. Because does anyone, is everyone like, oh God, I can't wait for someone to call their six year, I know that Bose's child is not six, but I'm saying like a lot of times we usually see the version where someone, either FaceTimes their dog or FaceTimes like a toddler.

And I just, I think it's time to move on. Bravo, that's my note. I don't mean it either. But you know what in real life I like FaceTiming with dogs. My niece Aubrey got this new puppy, she's a cockapoo. She's named Maple. And Aubrey is FaceTiming me, this dog, all the time. She started an Instagram for her dog,

so I'm gonna tell people so you can go follow this dog's Instagram, okay? It's called Maple, M-A-P-L-E, like the tree, dot the Cavapoo puppy on Instagram. This dog is so fucking cute. It's already got like 2,300 followers. This dog is killing it in life. So go follow Maple.thecavapoopuppy. Okay?

It's like the cutest dog. What's a Cavapoo? Well, you know, they're allergic to everything. My family is allergic to 97 different things. And so they have to get like hypoallergenic dogs. And I guess this is a mixture of a King Cavalier puppy. Is that a thing? A King Cavalier puppy? I'm going to look it up. That sounds like a Chevrolet. Chevrolet King Cavalier. It does. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dog breed, I guess is a Chevrolet. Chevrolet King Cavalier. It does. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dog breed,

I guess is what they're called. And so it's a mix of that and a poodle. Right? Cavapoo. Yeah, anytime the oodle's there, it's gonna be some poodle. Yeah, so it's pretty cute. It's just a fluffy little dog that won't make you allergic.

Isn't that cute? Oh, there was a Chevrolet called the Chevrolet Cavalier. I was like, wait a second, that actually sounded act too accurate for Joe. It's actually, this dog is actually a mix between a poodle and a Chevrolet. So it's great. It's not great for the environment,

but you know what it is these days, my right guys. Just give into it. See the USA with your Chevrolet poodle hybrid. So then we go to Sutton's room and she's hanging out with Garcelle and they're giggling about stuff. And so it's like, no slippers in the bed. No slippers in the bed. And is there vodka in your coffee?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well to quote you, no. So Garcelle's like, well, last night, Missy, how explosive was that dinner? Or, let me ask it this way. Could you believe how explosive it wasn't last night? Correct or incorrect? Okay, Garcelle, you have to stop with these double negatives.

It's really confusing, everyone. No. Well, I was like, are we allowed to eat? Because I just felt like we were in divorce court. We were in divorce court. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And she's saying, I don't know what's going to happen between Kyle and Dorit, but this fight is definitely different.

I mean, it's not just you talk too much or you didn't come to Kimo Sabe when I wanted to. This feels like betrayal. This feels like hurt by both. It also feels incredibly stupid, so I'm just gonna sit here on the sideline and laugh. But that's what I like Garcelle for on this show. I like when she's just on the sidelines commenting

on things like she's watching something that she's not in. Like, well, Dorit, Dorit and Kyle's fight. Let's discuss it. Bru, feels like betrayal this time. Do I hate it? No. Well, I mean, I'm sorry you guys are all fine, but do we all have to be involved? I wanted them to shut up so I could eat my food and enjoy the beach. Although, as much as I could enjoy the beach, considering it was nighttime and all I could see were tourists taking photos of us

through the window like we're at the Today Show. But either way, I'm getting riled up about it. So, Erica's in her room and Dorit comes over and Dorit's like, oh, I feel like last night was the first step. It's like, oh, Jesus, we had to listen to you all night. Poor Erika. And listen, have you ever heard me say poor Erika? Never.

But whatever she's doing this season, just being quiet and pretending she's innocent of everything and like being nice, I think it's fun for her in a way, but it's all Doree is taking advantage of it. Doree is really just showing up in every scene and talking about herself the entire scene. And Erica is going to lose her mind soon and beat the shit out of Doree is what I think. Because Doree, you already took up everybody's mind and now you're going to come in and start the morning this way too? Girl. Let's discuss this girl.

Look there's stuff with Kyle, but to me, I'm concerned about your refrigerator. It is on the fridge. No, about your compact disc player. I mean, what do I use it for now these days? No, your mental health. Because I've been there, you know, I've got a lot of experience with difficult husbands and difficult situations and difficult separations. I mean, just recently, microwaves are difficult, difficult things. How do they even work? How are some containers made out of metal, but you're not allowed to put metal in the

microwave? Rivel me that one, Robin. I fear that my stapler is broken. I tried to staple two welcome mats together and it wouldn't go through. What do I do? I stapler is broken. I tried to staple to welcome math together and it wouldn't go through. What do I do? I am fearful about that. Well, the most important thing is your mental health.

I don't know what you're talking about. Can I put a fork in a microwave and not Erika? Hi, this is Garcelle calling. Dorit, may I speak with Dorit? I just wanted to say one thing. Yes. No! Oh. So can't you not put a fork in a microwave or no? I'm leaving.

Well, I want to be around people that make me feel good, that I like trust, that I could laugh with. And that's where I am in my life right now. I've got enough to hold up. I've got enough that I need to be strong for. This is me putting my foot down. It's the same with Kyle. I put my foot down with a PK

and I unfortunately stepped in some marshmallow, but you know that happens. And I'm not gonna do it anymore. I can't. This is my fight song. My CD player was broken song. My fork in the microwave song. This is my fight song, my CD player was broken song, my fork in the microwave song. This is my fight song.

Okay. This is Garcella calling it again just to say it one more time. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondry Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants and real estate.

But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. And soon investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today. So then Jennifer Tilly comes into Kathy's room and she's like, that was so much fun yesterday. And she's like, I know, Kyle, Kyle, get in here, please.

Kyle's like, it was fun. This is where she's trying to make her get makeup for her or something. This is when the insanely rich ladies in caftans summon Kyle so they can like, paw her around or whatever. Because Jennifer Tilly is basically at Kathy Hilton level now with that Simpsons money, I have to imagine. Also with her Looney Tunes-ness, you know, she's really out there. She's like, you know, when you and Dory got into it,

you know what, oddly, this sounds really awful, but I was kind of enjoying it. Cathy's like, it was like tennis. It was! It was wonderful. We just's like, it was like tennis. It was! It was wonderful. We just see like... And that's why I didn't interrupt. You know, first of all, I have too much respect for Yvonne Lendl to interrupt any tennis match, but also I would also have a little conversation today and you know what?

Be bold, Kyle. Kyle's like, oh, well, if I feel like it. And she's like, yeah, but you know, just let your feelings kind of, you know, lead the way, but don't be annoying about it like you usually are. Just, you know, just talk about it. Kyle Larson Yeah. You know what Kyle really needs to do? Show our feelings on this show. I don't think anybody's really used to seeing that. So Kyle's like, but I did, you know, I don't need to keep doing that. I just want to go out and find a, you know, let's just let it digest. Like, we'll just see where, what happens.

She goes, we'll see what happens. I'm going to go get my shoes on. So now they're putting on final touches because they're about to go on their excursion and everything. And they're going to go to, they're going to go on their excursion and everything and they're gonna go to they're gonna go on this boat and everything so They are they all start arriving down at the bar, you know, and of course, it's like here their looks here their looks and son is like She's like, hi, are you holding court Jennifer and she's like, oh, are you holding court Jennifer? And she's like, Oh, look at you. Look at your little Jojo Siwa hair piece. Oh my gosh. I was really channeling Grace Kelly. I don't know what Jojo, what a Jojo Siwa is.

Grace time is over. Well, okay. I guess so. So Jennifer Tilley sees J Dorit and she's like, Oh, hello, Stevie Nicks, you look gorgeous. What do you want? Nothing like Stevie Nicks, I'd like to add. There wasn't even an element. Yeah, there was not even a single element

that looked like Stevie Nicks. So then Kyle's just standing there looking at everybody like, oh my god, Dereed's here. Awkward. Awkward. You know, making subtle Kyle faces. And she's like, I just feel incredibly awkward, but like, I'm just ready to go back to punishing again. All right, ladies, I have a little surprise since we're running late. Thanks, Kyle. We're going to arrive in style, so follow me. So they go out to these little kind of like mini cars.

It's like those golf cart things that are turned to that are made to look like little Jeeps. And so they're going to drive those to the boat. So like, yay, since we're running late, we're going to drive smaller, less safe versions of cars. Okay. smaller, less safe versions of cars. Like, okay. So they just kind of make small talk in these cars. And Boz is like, so have you been on a boat before with these ladies, Garcel?

And she's like, oh yes, I have. And she asks her how they behaved. And she's like, oh God, Mexico. Erica was trying to figure out the balance of pills and alcohol. And Boz is like, I'm sorry, what? And she's like, we're all a mess. Oh God, Mexico. Erica was trying to figure out the balance of pills and alcohol. And Boze is like, I'm sorry, what? And she's like, we're all a mess. All of us are a mess.

I've said too much. That's all right, I invented messes. So then Kyle is with Sutton and Jennifer, and she's like, you know what's so funny, you guys will not believe this, my sister, she comes in, she goes, do you have an extra toothbrush? And I went in and she was brushing her eyeshadow brush. She was brushing with it, okay?

She was polishing her teeth with the toothpaste. Is that hilarious? Ugh! And we see Kathy is brushing her teeth with the makeup brush. Yeah, and then, let's see, Kathy passes by. She's like, hi. She's just waving at random people on the street. Oh, I thought she was talking to them. No, it was like a random person on the street. She's like, hello, I'm Kathy Hilton. I just

bought you. So then they go to the marina and there's a big old boat there for them. And Sutton's like, I'm going to say this is a 90 footer. That's my guess. And then they meet Captain Theo, the stud Captain Theo. Yeah. And Sutton's like hot for him and everything. And so they're just like walking around. Everywhere Kathy Elton goes, she goes, Kathy Elilton, nice to meet you. Cathy Hilton, nice to meet you. I'm like, we know. You're wearing a bucket hat and you're very wealthy

and you're also famous. So Cathy Hilton, nice to meet you. So Sutton's in love with the captain, you know, and so everybody's making fun of her. But Cathy's like, ladies, please pay attention. She's like, ladies, please pay attention to the captain. So he's like, I'm Theo, I'm your captain today. I just need to go over a few safety things for you, okay?

And Sutton's like, hmm, Captain Theo, he's got very large biceps and like a beautiful voice. And we're seeing like these shots of him and he's just like not being sexy at all. He's like, we have life vest underneath the seats and there's seats upstairs and seats in the back. So also please do not put any toilet paper in the toilets. Please put them in the trash

because they're sensitive systems and they do clog very easily. She's like, oh yeah. I'm gonna ride him like a private seat on an airplane. Kick back his knees, relax on him. And why he's like, we shouldn't drown. But if we do just grab on to that lady's lips, there's something going on there. Kyle's just like,

Excuse me. So Kathy's like, Oh, should we enjoy ourselves? So then they are like they go sitting, they go, they're gonna go sit down and have lunch and everything. And this food. Oh, they're they're sitting down for lunch, um, they're gonna go sit down and have lunch and everything and, um, this food. Oh, they're, they're sitting down for lunch, but the food is being cooked and there's a chef and he is, um, working the grill. And of course, Cathy goes right up to him and he's like, you know, uh, say I'm a barbecuer. So maybe if we put that, put it on the top thing there. Yeah. Since when is Cathy Hilton, I'm a barbecuer, common dear a barbecue. This is where she a pit master. Girl, like, commandeer a barbecue? Since when is she a pit master?

Carl's like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. Why didn't you tell the chef how to cook? And Carl's like, Kathy can be very bossy. Like, is it on the right temperature? You know what you should do? Add a little, like, what is it, like salt? Like, okay. Normally, I'd say this is extremely unprofessional of Kathy to be doing to people. I'm kind of gross and cringy.

On the other hand, Kyle, you really still need to figure out how to learn salmon, so maybe just have Kathy over and let her do it to you. You know what I mean? Maybe, like, maybe Kathy's not bossy. Maybe it's just that she realizes that her sister doesn't even know how to open a door in her house, and is like, I have to help.

I need to intervene. So then now they take their seats and stuff, and Dorit's in the back bar at the yacht bar ordering her drink and stuff. And she's like, I'll do a bit of a deal with club soda. Three lemons. Lemons out. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone,

but it's a new era of drink ordering. I've decided to stop confusing the poor. Well, yeah, she basically is like, I'm on a booze cruise in like the San Diego suburbs. They're not gonna understand what carcass is. That's what she's saying to herself. I was very disappointed in hearing this drink order. I did not like it.

Yeah. So then a lot of this episode is just like fun times. You know, it's a fun times episode. Yeah. So they're sitting down. They're like, they're like eating their lunch and everything. The chef comes and makes a presentation, et cetera.

And Kathy, after they start eating, Kathy is like, so you know, you've been talking a lot, you've been talking a lot, because Sudden's getting allergies. And so Kathy's like, you've been talking a lot. And Kyle's like, yeah, your throat must be so sore. And Sudden goes, well, speaking of sore throats, the two of you, Kyle and Doree,

talking like two streptococcus bacteria in the back of a throat, giving and Dari, talking like two streptococcus bacteria in the back of a throat giving someone strep. Okay? You talked a lot last night, you bacteria people. I'm just curious, y'all, because since nobody on this show has anything going on, how are you feeling? Would you like to fight again?

Because I really don't feel like it today. Boz, do you want to have your first fight today? No. Garcelle? No. Anybody want to to have your first fight today? No. Garcelle? No. Anybody want to do anything today on this show? No, no. No.

I don't want it. Kim, you're not on this trip. Kim, please, someone please take Kim back off the boat. Hey, Kyle, get back here. Yeah, well, I don't think I have anything to say. I think I pretty much said everything. I need to say that Kyle and I wish her the that. Yeah, I think that I've said everything. Because you know, I've already told Kyle

she's probably gonna die alone. And that's pretty all I need to say about it. And I've got my condoms with the thoughts photo and I put it up in the office. And yeah, we're pretty good. So, upsetting. So Kyle's like, okay, well, you know, Deree, you go first.

So Deree's like, well, I needed to get a few things off my chest because it was building up. And once you release it, you feel better. And I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm hurt. It's from a deep, deep place of tragedy and cornucopia from which springs the misery that I've been infected with. Thus far. Bully, bully. I love you. I don't hate you. I don't not love you. No. Wait. No. Well, I appreciate that a lot. I mean, this is where I get like, both of us are going through so much and like, I'm somebody that if I care about somebody, it weighs on me really heavily, but that's only if I care about somebody. But like, as we know from Amazon live,

we're really not even closely friends. So, and I just don't, you know, like, you, I don't, and you don't need to be thinking about this right now. And like, I don't need to be thinking about this. And like, I'm just trying to grow my bangs back and we have really important life stuff going on and we really need all of our energy for that. So what I'm trying to say is I'm just trying to grow my bangs back. And we have really important life stuff going on and we really need all of our energy for that. So what I'm trying to say is, I'm just trying to put energy into fostering a better relationship with Jamie Lee Curtis. She has an Oscar now.

And Dorit's like, you do know the ironing of it all? I think you mean irony. No, I really don't. I could use an iron here. This is disgusting that I'm dressed like this. Dorit. But. No. Yes. This is disgusting that I'm dressed like this. Do you read? But...

No. Yes. No! Well, the irony is that our husbands are closer than ever, indefinitely leaning on one another, and you and I are so far apart, Kyle. I even asked for three lemons out of a glass! By the way, I forgot to mention, Mauricio asked me to tell you to tell PK to stop leaning on him,

because he keeps falling over. So Kyle is like- Actually, Mauricio and PK are closer than ever, and also Kyle and PK are closer than ever. The only one kind of left out here is you, so. Yep, yep. And that's gonna come out, I think, next week. So Kyle, I's going to come out I think next week. So Kyle, I mean, that starts to come out this week. So Kyle is like, and I'm by the way, and I

apologize once again for hurting your feelings in any way. And I know there are things that I can learn from this. Will I learn from them? No. But I know that they're there. I'll leave them there. I'll leave them there. Okay. This is me and Coyle turning a corner. And I do feel optimistic that we can potentially put the pieces of our friendship back together. We've got more conversations to have, but they don't all have to be toxic and tumultuous. We'll get back to this in two more scenes

if everyone's like, oh God, no. I hate to break it to you, Dorit, but you're turning a corner into a cul-de-sac. Okay. It's a dead end. So, Dorit's like, I'm cautious. That is a Dorit storyline though, a cul-de-sac storyline. Just going over and, I just passed this house, didn't I? She's just going in a circle around the cul-de-sac.

Not really, but there's an exit. Yeah. So they all cheers to her and Garcelle's like, well, I want to see what the bottom of the boat is like, which is my feeble excuse from getting away from you idiots. So she's like, okay, I'm going to go and Garcelle's like, yeah, I need to get on my phone and check out my children. Like your kids are like 20 seconds and out of the house. Okay, I'm gonna go and correct cause like yeah, I need to get on my phone and check out my children like

your kids are 20 seconds out of the house. We have you on block like they're old Except for Portia and she's definitely not answering her call. We're just 16. She doesn't want her mom calling her It's a school day. Yeah school Hello there. This is a two-part recap. Okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offit. Dana C Dana

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