Watch What Crappens - #2653 RHOSLCS5E13 Part Two: Room Doom

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

This is part 2 of 2!The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City head to Mexico with a PowerPoint presentation and a lot of acrimony about room assignments. Will Bronwyn get more offended than she did last week, the week before that, or the week before that? And who will get clobbered with a bag of shampoo? To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to constantcontact.ca for your free trial. constantcontact.ca happens when there's so much that happens. Watch what happens, or we'll leave the future. Guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed.

It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So now they sit on these couches and have some cocktails and they're talking about their sweets. Sorry, I just like swigged a cherry 7-Up. Or a cherry Dr. Pepper, a strawberry, a strawberries and cream, zero sugar Dr. Pepper. It was an adventure.

I just had an adventure over here. So anyway, they're talking about the rooms and Angie loves it. Whitney's like, yeah, it is great. And Pramil goes, I'll be the contrarian then. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So... And Brittany goes, ooh, contrarian? That's the word of the day.

Uh... Uh... Uh... It's not that crazy of a word, but that's okay. I can see why she's friends with Heather. What was the word that Heather was like, oh my God. Okay, Shakespeare. Yes.

I forget what it was. I mean, listen, it's no adjudicate. So still speaking. Still me. Still my turn. My turn. Heather Dubrow. Heather Dubrow and Bronwyn together?

Now that would be a trip. Oh, my God. Yeah, Heather would have been killed. So, um, Brittany's like, oh, my God, big words, right, guys? God. My children will probably ignore her in two seconds. So Bronwyn's like, so I was just surprised

at, like, how the room assignments landed. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest about that, Lisa. Lisa, I'm gonna be honest about that with you. I'm gonna be really, really honest about that right now, Lisa. But what about them? What about them? What about the rooms? Because they're beautiful. Well, I mean, you and I are the longest friends here, and then you put me in the villa with two people

who aren't speaking to me at the moment. Well, going back to why they're not speaking to you, because you literally treated them like shit and mean-girled them when you had nobody else on your side last week, because you had already mean-girled them all. Like, you need to not mean-girl the whole cast at once, girl. Like...

Yeah, you... They were on your side until you snapped at them at Camp Day. So then Bronwyn is like, um, she's like, I mean, we talked today because we're all in there together, so we got to figure it out, right? I mean, and Lisa's like, yeah, but you guys are just like next door. So I didn't think it was a problem.

She's like, yeah, but it's a little weird. It's a little weird that you didn't care at all, especially when I'm where I am physically right now, as a woman who is currently foaming at the mouth and seeing triple because I got bitten by a rabid dog. And you don't even care about that. To make it feel like you guys are in a green pinto and I'm locked outside of it just crashing my body

up against yours trying to murder you all. Wait a minute, is that Kujo? You know what? You know what? The room is totally beautiful. I just was surprised. She goes, well, I'm not... I'm just always gonna be honest with you. And Brahman's like, you know what? And, you know, you and Brittany are like new friends. And I have been, you know, you and I have been friends a long time, Lisa. So I'm just a little surprised.

That's all. I'm always gonna be honest with you. I'm a little surprised. Well, maybe she likes me better now. Stupid Brittany. Hey, no. Brittany's slightly not happy. High body count hair. And Lisa goes, no, I love all my friends.

And Brahman goes, well, maybe she does. Well, fuck it. Mazel to you then. But wait, that was not an insult. Oh, you know what? I'm happy. I'm happy that I'm with you guys. No offense. No offense. No offense, guys. And Whitney's like, that is offensive. -♪ WHITNEY CHUCKLES, LAUGHS. -♪ Oh, really? Huge word, Whitney. Huge word.

Am I right? What is everybody talking today? Do I get a duolingo to sit at this dinner? And Brittany is so proud. She's sitting there almost like, practically with crossed arms, just smirking like, I'm in the varsity room. And Whitney's like, Brittany doesn't even realize that she's a pawn. She's just the message that Lisa is trying to send to Bronwyn. Like, I'd rather have Brittany than you.

And that is the ultimate send to Bronwyn like, I'd rather have Brittany than you. And that is the ultimate diss to Bronwyn. And Brittany doesn't even fucking get it. And Whitney's like, well, I think we usually pick our own room. We're not a SIG. And Bronwyn's like, well, here's the thing, Lisa. Here's the thing. You know, when I felt a certain kind of a way,

when I did that, you know? Well, I'm hosting the trip differently. I'm hosting it differently than you. Oh, she's not even gonna listen to me now. She's not even gonna listen to me, guys. I'm listening. She's not even gonna listen. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. Speak.

Well, you're getting a little bit of bass in your voice, Lisa, when you're speaking to me, and you're telling me what rooms to be in, and I shouldn't be uncomfortable, and poor Brittany was so uncomfortable, and, you know... Brittany's like, a bass in your voice? As a singer, I can tell you what that means. She goes, well, you're attacking me, because you mentioned bass, which is a singing thing,

and I sing in Tokyo. I'm not, I'm not, I'm speaking to Lisa. I'm not even looking at you, Britney. Okay? Um, I totally heard everything you said, and in my mind, they're all beautiful rooms. And like, as far as I'm concerned, they might as well be connected, and they're like right next door to each other.

Oh, oh, oh. So it's such a small deal and I'm misunderstanding. Then why don't you just say Bronwyn, it's a small deal you're misunderstanding instead of being like, well, actually, I gave you a beautiful room. Actually, actually, actually, actually, actually. Because that's how I feel. Because that's how I feel. That's how I feel. Okay. But you're not understanding how I'm feeling, Lisa. You're not understanding. Bronwyn. Okay, I'm going gonna stop this because this is so ridiculous. She did, she did just say what you're saying. It is, she is saying it's a misunderstanding.

It's a small deal and she didn't mean it. And Bronwyn is still trying to spin every single thing and make it like some huge affront. So ridiculous. Okay, continue, Ben. Continue. So, Lisa's like, Bronwyn, I am your friend, and I showed you that I am your friend, and it's weird that anyone has any problem with any of the rooms, okay? Especially since you brought blinged out passport holders

on my group trip! Oh, I don't have a problem with the room. I don't have a problem with the room, okay? I have a problem with what's happening between you and I, and I'd rather that as friends, that you could hear out what I'm saying and say, damn, I'm so sorry you felt that way, let's fix it. Versus telling me to be fucking grateful that Lisa Barlow took you on a trip.

Wow, wow. She didn't do that. She didn't say be grateful to have you on a, what the fuck are you talking about? She never said that. Oh my God, this is crazy that someone can get me to stand up for Lisa Barlow this much, because I have to say, Lisa Barlow is 80% wrong all the time, at least.

I don't understand how I'm this much on her side, but you're lying, ma'am. You are lying. You're flat out lying. Well, I don't think I could do... I could do make you feel grateful compared to the other trips you go on, and I go on luxury trips too, and she's, oh, so now I'm snobby.

No one said that either. But when I do a trap, but then Lisa falls for it, and she's like, oh, really, you're gonna call me snobby? So now I'll be snobby. Which, why are you doing that? You know? Like, this is where Lisa is standing on the high ground, and then she's just like, you know what? I don't like being on high ground, because I don't look good from the angle

where someone's, like, standing below me. So I don't like being on high ground because I don't look good from the angle where someone's like standing below me. So I don't want people to stare at my waddle. So I'm gonna come down to the ground where they're standing. She comes down off the high ground and she's like, but guess what, you know what? I also do luxury trips too. And you know, when I do a trip, I like to make sure that every single detail

is to perfection. Let's be real clear about who's ungrateful about whose trip first, Lisa, because it was you who bitched and moaned about the trip that I took you on. Oh, because I don't want to fly coach. I don't fly coach. I would never fly commercial. Okay, well, I flew commercial, did I not? I flew commercial here.

Did you spring for a plane for all of us? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You flew first class. You were first class. And no, I did not spring up a plane for you guys, okay? Because instead I put the money towards a plane for me and my husband to go to London this summer. So there you go.

The lack of gratitude. Oh my gosh, I put so much time into this. And I have to say that Lisa's doing... She is saying these things, the lack of gratitude, but that's not until after Bronwyn is accusing her of saying this stuff, which she never said in the first place. That's what's so crazy about Lisa. It's like Bronwyn's lying about her,

but then Lisa turns around and makes all of this stuff true. So Bronwyn's like, you're missing the point. I'm not saying to you that I wanted a different room. She's like, I'm saying I wanted you. I wanted to be with you. You know how annoying it is to complain about you from a different villa? I want to complain to your face.

Like I'm doing right now. Imagine this experience right now. We could be having it all night long in our bedrooms. This is... You know what? You're next door to me. Zzz. You know what? You're next door to me. You're next door to me. You're next door to me. That's how I greet my new neighbors on the streets I live. You're next door to me. You're next door to me. Zzz. Heather's like, she's in an impossible situation.

She goes, yeah, you're next door, okay? Other than sleeping and taking a shit, you're with me. And Heather's like, and it's not like we're together. We're all in separate rooms. You know? Well, I don't care about a room. I wanted to be comfortable. I wanted to be comfortable with the only person here

who I think really knows me and has my back and has been my friend for a long time. Then you shouldn't have been on her ass all season long, because you've been a shitty friend all season, I think, from where I'm sitting. And now you're acting like, oh my God, we were best friends and now you're putting me in a different villa?

Yeah, this is wild. So, Lisa is like, I do, I do have your back. But like, I have your, the thing is, in between me and your back, there's like a wall and a walkway and another wall, and then you. So it's fine, but I still have your back. I have your back because literally I'm behind you in a better room. She goes, but instead of hearing me out, you've called me snobby. You've called me ungracious.

She never said any of those things. You're the one who said, oh, so now I'm snobby. She's like, I have another drink. Oh, so now I'm an alcoholic too. She called me an alcoholic, everybody. Great. Okay. You need to calm down. Oh, now I have ADHD. Okay, fine, fine. So, Vrahman's like, Oh, this has been a long time coming. You were just yelling at her two weeks ago.

What are you acting like this? Like you've been holding it in all this time. She goes, Lisa has some really harsh opinions about me to say we've always been friends and she doesn't know why there's a problem and she defends me and she has my back. Well, no, that has never been the case. And I'm at my breaking point with it. I'm honestly at my breaking point.

Mm-hmm. Well, what can she do to make it right, says Heather? I don't know. Like, I know. Like, what can I do better? What can I do better other than serving Top Tier Tequila in this beautiful villa? Well, I'll tell you what, I'm not trading. Britney. Don't even look at me. I'm not trading shit.

When he's like... How about just say, I'm sorry, I made you feel that way. Well, I don't say things the way someone else wants me to say them. I say things the way I want them to say them and the way I feel. So if I wanted to say that, this is what I would say instead. Oh! I love that. So wait, you're saying that you're never sorry?

This is a Whitney. They're just all gaslighting. So Lisa's like, wait, if I off, like, listen, don't shake your head. I'm telling you, we can't go back in time. Stop going back in time. Stop going back. Wait, if you're back in time, tell Michael.

Oh, so I'm a time traveler? Jay Foxy's so cute. I'm a time traveler now. Is that what you're saying? Oh, so now I back. Wait, I can't, I'm a time traveler. Jay Foxy's so choked. I'm a time traveler now, is that what you're saying? Oh, so now I look like, Christopher Lloyd, you're saying my hair is straggly? Is that what you're saying? Am I like Biff? Okay, real, thanks, thanks so much, okay.

So then now it's time to go to the table. And I love it, this restaurant, they have to keep being interrupted. So someone's like, okay, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, whoa, ladies. Okay. Your table's ready. So let's go there. Okay.

So they get up and usually this is where they kind of shift. Like they kind of calm down. They walk to their table. They make small talk about how lovely their trip is. A couple of jokes, but no Bronwyn will not do it. So they start walking and Bronwyn was like, I mean, Lisa, I'm trying to tell you how I feel and you, A, keep talking's like, I mean, Lisa, I'm trying to tell you how I feel. And you, A, keep talking over me,

and B, making out like I'm being ungrateful and then kicking me in the face by saying I'm snobby and I'm just like, I'm just not effort, Lisa. I'm just not really for being kicked in the face. Ow, my face. My face is literally bruised. Like, she kicked me in the face. You all saw that, right? They all said that they saw you kick me in the face, Lisa. So now you're saying I'm a kickball, basically.

You're just gonna kick me and, like, hope some child catches me and maybe, like, throws me at another child, and you win a point, and it's all, like, I'm just a sacrificial lamb. I just get tossed around. You don't even care, because everyone only cares about people running around bases, but, like, who cares about the ball? That's basically what you're saying to me, right? Huh? Okay, thanks a lot.

Ooh. And she's like, you know what? I'm just not up for shit from you, Lisa. And she goes, you know what? It's like you're making shit out of see like you're making shit out of nothing. You're making shit out of nothing. Oh, so now I'm a magician. I just conjure up things. I'm just a magician.

You're basically saying I'm a magician. I should be born to the stock. I stake, I'm like a witch. Is that what you're saying? Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. I wish you were. I'd get a white tiger in here immediately. You're making me crazy.

And you know, my intention was just to come here and have a great time with you. Oh, so now I'm like a slut. I'm like a hooker. You're just gonna pay me money and have Oh, so now I'm like a slut, I'm like a hooker. You're just gonna pay me money and have a good time. I'm like, have a good time for a night with me. Thanks a lot, Lisa. Thanks a lot.

You know what, Lisa, I'm already bruised in the face from you kicking me in it. And you know what, I can also have a, tell you how I feel, Lisa, you know? And you need to be mature enough to hear it without trying to tell me I'm a slut, I'm a moron. You know, I'm an idiot. I'm a horrible human being.

And you know, then kicking me in my face. That was my face. And on top of that, I have an impairment I'd like to add. So Lisa's like, I didn't tell you you're wrong. Not one time did I say you're wrong. I'm just expressing my point of view. Because well, you did. You implied that I was wrong. And then you said that I have five parking tickets on my windshield, which is really crazy. So now I have to pay for parking tickets. And now I'm being ridiculous. And now I'm being snobby. And I'm an asshole. Now I'm a slut. Now I'm a whore. Now I'm a whore. Lisa, I'm a murderer. Lisa, a child murderer. Lisa. Oh, now I'm a child murderer, everybody. Great. Oh, and by the way, thanks for accusing me of keeping a giant gorilla in my basement. I don't do that, okay?

Do I love Tonky B? Yes, but is he in my basement? No. Okay, I think you've really lost that thread here, Bronwyn. Don't tread on me, is all I'm saying. So, Brittany is like, I just think, you know, it just feels like ungrateful and Bronwyn's like, I'm sorry, Brittany says, I think she just feels ungrateful and Bronwyn's like, I just think, you know, it just feels like ungrateful. And Bronwyn's like, I'm sorry, Brittany says, I think she just feels ungrateful.

And Bronwyn's like, Brittany, I'm just not, I'm not going to hear that from you. Like, don't butt in. Okay? Well, you're insulting, you're insinuating that I switched rooms with you. And I don't want to. She never did that to you either. What are you talking about? So then, Leis and Nether are all talking over each other. And Leis is like, you know what? It's ridiculous to hear your friend tell you that she tried to give you the best

room and make you most happy and then not appreciate it. And then, um, basically the rotating lay mid set of this turns and this fight swivels out to backstage and in comes Angie and Meredith because Angie now sits and sees that there is a tote bag, a Brooks Marks tote bag on her seat that has stuff. And she looks in it, she sees it, and her face, she has this look on her face like this fucking bitch. So... She's like, oh my God, did you get me a gift?

She sees it's a Brooks Marks bag. So she's like, oh my God, Meredith is apologizing to me. This is huge. I'm putting this on my IMDB, you know? Yeah. So Angie's like, did my God, Meredith is apologizing to me. This is huge. I'm putting this on my IMDB, you know? Yeah. So Andrew's like, did you get me a gift? And Bram, Bram is still still petering off. Bram's like, I never once insinuated that you switched ribs. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. You called me out.

You did. You did. Heather's like, guys, guys, there's a new fight starting. Hush. Hey, why does she have a Brooks Marks bag? As if Heather doesn't know. Why do I have a Brooks Marks bag? As if Heather doesn't know. Why do I have a Brooks Marks bag? And Meredith is like... N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n- made your bot mitzvah gift a merch moment. It's your merch. Like, she's literally returning your merch to you in her merch. You guys should be both part of the Merchant Marines

because this is a lot of merch back and forth. Amgee didn't win the Golden Crappy. Did she win the Golden Crappy last year? No, I think she was nominated. I think the best movie was... She and Monica probably canceled out each other's votes, right? Because there were two from Salt Lake City. I think Monica may have won best. No, Monica didn't win. No.

No, somebody else won. I don't remember who won. Anyway, I don't know why it matters. I'll ask, I'll ask. I was just gonna pull out a crappy bath bomb for her. But you know what? That's dad. That joke's dad. Okay, so, um, she's like, you think I came to your bat mitzvah with all of this shit for you and it was passive aggressive. Is that what you are saying? And Mary's like, wow, I came to your bat mitzvah with all of this shit for you, and it was passive aggressive.

Is that what you are saying? Meredith's like, well, I heard you wanted everything back. But you brought it back. This whole episode is people accusing each other of saying things that were never said. It's so fucking funny. It's every single one of them is doing it. So, and so yeah, Meredith is like,

well, I heard you wanted everything back. They brought me so here's everything back. Is that what I said? Is that not what you said? Is that what I yeah, Meredith is like, oh, I heard you wanted everything back. They brought me so here's everything back. Is that what I said? Is that not what you said? Is that what I said, Meredith? That's what I was told you said. That's is that what I said? Is it not what you said?

Is it what you said? Is it what I said? What did I say? And Heather's like, oh my God, I swear, I've heard this argument before. And then we see the clip to the bangs party, the Audrey Hepburn bangs party. And it was the exact same thing.

So, Heather's like, "'At least they're consistent. Sorry, everybody, I just peed on the ground. I just didn't want to sit.'" So awkward. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud.

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by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts. So Angie's like, you know, I was very emotional and very hurt and very heated. And I said, I brought a gift and Brittany's like, you know, and I would have, and you also said I would have given it back to you and you want to give it back to you. And Angie's like, Brittany, stop it. Cause Brittany's like, she has a little bit of a cock in her walk now. She's in the cool girl villa. So she's like, I'm going to button on every argument now and that's take my claim.

I guarantee you at the reunion, Brittany's gonna do that. Where it's gonna be like, well, Meredith, what do you think about your relationship this year with Seth? Well, I'll tell you what, I didn't believe it. That's right girls, I said it. Right? Right?

So, yeah, so they're fighting. So, and he's like, you know, I was emotional and hurt, and he did. I said I brought a gift, and Brittany's like, well, I would've given it back to you. Shut up, Brittany. She's like, well, I was part of this. I was part of this. And I'm just like, fucking stay out of it. But I'm the reason you got kicked out in the first place,

because apparently you have a history of slut shaming. Am I right, girls? And then it's correct. There is a history of slut shaming. Am I right, girls? BOWEN LAUGHS And then it's correct. There is a history of slut shaming with her. And Angie's like, "'Why are you stepping into this?' I mean, quite literally, Heather's pool of urine there.

And Brittany's like, "'Because, not because I would have done the exact same thing.'" Angie goes, "'You know, take the shampoo, "'cause your hair is fucking fried, and it looks like shit.'" And then she takes this tote

that has two big, heavy things of shampoo and, like, basically does, like, "'cause your hair is fucking fried and it looks like shit." And then she takes this tote and has two big, heavy things of shampoo and basically does the half toss across the table. Because Angie, she can only hold onto a prop for so long before she has to toss it behind her, above her or in front of her. Yeah, she's the carrot top of this. She's like a WWF carrot top.

And so she throws it and this drink knocks over and everyone's like, whoa, because it was really heavy. It's like thump, you know? And Meredith goes, oh, I may not have heard that, but I felt the vibrations of it. And Brittany's like, oh, that was a whole new low Angie. That was so low. It was an accident. I handed you the bag.

I did not know the bag was upside down. You drove right my queen. No, you threw the bag over the table. Everyone, everyone, ting, ting, ting. I have an announcement. I've been assaulted by shampoo with sulfates in it. No, why? It's an assault. Keep your mouth shut.

That was just so rude. Stay out of it. Stay out of it. So she's like, but it has to do with me because you slut shamed me. Ow. Ow, it hurt. I got slut shamed. I got slut shamed by shampoo. And Bron was like, wait a minute, that's not what happened. That's not what happened, guys. That is not what happened.

That is not what happened. Brittany, Brittany, Brittany. I think they're gonna pass out or somebody's gonna ask me for my side. Brittany, Brittany. Well, first of all, you pass out or somebody's gonna ask me for my side. Brittany, Brittany. Well, you first of all, you said I was effing 15 people at the same time. I'm like, you cannot keep adding five people to this tally every episode. It's like, is there interest on this? -♪ BOTH LAUGHING. -♪ BOTH LAUGHING.

Even Meredith has to change it. And Meredith is like, no, she said three actually. Well, at my Mormon family though, that Mormon family night at my house, I had flowers on the table from someone I was dating. And she said, oh, yeah, that's from someone else that she's effing. Heather was standing right there and Heather's like,

um, I do not remember her saying effing. Like... We see a flashback to Mormon night, and Angie is like, you know, Britney's like, look at these flowers, guys. And Angie's like, oh, which guy is that from? And Heather's like, it's from guy number one. Yeah, Aaron, does your dad know that you're doing three guys?

HEATHER LAUGHS And she's not even offended. She just laughs and goes, yeah, well, he's dating three women. It's like the same. I mean, where do you think I get this? So it was all fun back in the... And by the way, she didn't deny that she was doing three guys either, which could easily lead somebody to think that she's doing three guys. So then we cut back and Angie's like,

so you wait until another religious event to say that I was slutty, because that is how important religious events are to you. She was, I did not call you a slut. You called me a slut. You started it. No, you started it. We all heard it at Mary's house. All of us heard it. By the way, the best newbie at the crappies last year was Jessel. Jessel was best newbie. Angie lost out to Jessel. Just putting that out there in case anyone's, yeah, in case anyone's banging their head on zero. So, um, so we have a splashback, um, uh, to the Tiffany's party with Brittany complaining about the wine and Angie responding. And this

is when Angie says you're, you're doing three guys and you're drunk and you're claiming to be some sort of Mormon. And Angie's like, you went over and you told her that I was slutty and Lisa's like, but why did she say you were slutty? Stop always sticking up for everyone else, Lisa. Stop doing that, Lisa. She's like, no, I'm stuck. It's like a horse voice battle. No.

Horse off. No. H-O-A-R-S-E. She's like, yeah, no, I'm sticking up for everyone else. So yeah, so now Andy's like, you're not sticking up for me now, Lisa. And Lisa's like, no, I'm just trying to speak in facts. And Brittany goes, amen, facts.

Brittany, who's sitting over there like compulsively lying for screen time. Right? And Bronwyn's like, well, you know what? I've said that you're not sticking up for me right now either, Lisa. So that's what I'm also hearing from Angie, am I right? And I'm also saying it and I'm also hearing it.

So that's multiple people saying and hearing the same thing. My nose is bleeding right now from where I've been kicked. Are we all agreeing? We're all agreeing with that. Okay, great. Anje, I have had your back more than anybody at this table. And she's like, I know, but right now it's you're not, and that's fine, that's fine, that's totally non-cute,

but it's fine. Why can't we talk about? Why can't we talk about? Hi guys, I have an announcement. I just got a fax machine. Fact, not fax. Oh, sorry. Oh, so, she's like, why do we have to lie? You know, you said to her it was about a bottle of fucking wine.

Who fucking cares about the wine? And then you said you're doing like three guys. Are those not the same thing, Angie? It's not. And you know what? If you said that to me, man, it's enough. It's enough. It's below the belt and it's over. It is over. Brittany's like, you said slutty tits. BOTH LAUGHING

And then Carlos, the waiter, arrives and he's like, uh, sorry, everyone, uh... Can we... Can I tell you about the specials? You said I have slutty hair. You seriously said I have porn star tits. You started it and then I got kicked out. All right, can we order from Carlos and then move on? I'm sorry.

You said I have slutty tits. Carlos, she means in America, that means you have a pretty face. That's it. We do not have hate at this table. Oh, my gosh. So, and he's like, Brittany, I would like to get through this conversation with Meredith. So Meredith's like, well, I do want to understand because I understand

with everything that went on the past couple of weeks, I was confused why I even wanted to be there. I mean, I'll be honest. Why? And she's like, because I wanted to be there. I mean, I'll be on my last way. And she's like, because I wanted to be, so she's basically like, look, I wanted to be on a path of support. I wanted to continue a positive trajectory, and that was great.

And you invited me and it was my first bot mitzvah. I was just so grateful to be dressed like a mother. And then I was blindsided. And then I had no idea he would kick me out. There were security guards. And when you yelled at me in front of your children, Heather's daughter, your mother, your sister, Heather's oil change person.

BLAIR LAUGHS I did everything right. I showed up. And Merth is like, you didn't do everything right because you slut shamed her. Hashtag no hate with an eight in the middle. And she who was stomping around the party going, classless bitch. I know I did everything right.

I did everything. High body count hair. Do you know how many times I just said high body count hair all week long? I'd just be standing there like, high body count hair. I think that is the Bravo fandom has been walking around saying that shit. And also I've been saying, but what about me? Which I do kind of say a lot in my regular life anyway,

so no one's really noticed. But... So, um, and so Angie said, everybody was fighting. Everybody was kung fu fighting. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Well, let me tell you something. It was Fastest fighting. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh. But let me tell you something, it was fastest lightning. Okay? And Bronwyn's like...

Facts! Bronwyn's like, that's not what happened. That's not what happened, Lisa. No, it's not. No, it's not. Hey everybody, I'm shaking my head over here. I did not start it. We're ready to get some facts dropped.

I have an announcement to make. I did not start it. She's like, she called me a slut before. I didn't say one thing to her. She goes, I didn't call you a slut. I didn't. And Bron was like, well, I'm gonna tell you this. Honestly, it was her who started the slutty conversation. Her meaning, I mean, Brittany.

And Brittany goes, wait a minute, did I? She goes, okay, here's the timeline. Brittany called Angie a slut outside to me at the pop mitzvah. Then I tattletale to Angie that Brittany had said it to me, and then Angie tattletale to Brittany and said it to her, and then Meredith only heard that very small part of it. BRENDAN BROSNANN BROMWOOD goes, and I'll just make it simple. Brittany said it first,

Brittany said it meanest, and I like Brittany the least, she's the most in trouble. BOTH LAUGHING So she's like, honestly, went too far. I mean, Angie was wrong to say you look like a porn star, whatever. Angie goes, let's not fucking insult porn stars right now. Okay.

So Lisa's like, Ange, you know what? Fix it with her. You don't want to slut shame anyone. Say you're sorry. And I was like, she wasn't slut-shaming her at all. She was calling her a hypocrite. Because it's hypocritical to, you know, not accept a bottle of wine when you drink wine.

It's hypocritical, you know, to pretend your body count is equal to the men you married when you have a boyfriend. It's hypocritical to say, you're the cleanest person in the world, and then you piss all over an airplane bathroom. Wait, sorry, that was me. Sorry, I take that one back. BOWEN LAUGHS And Brittany's like, but look, we're not sleeping together.

I mean, my boyfriend and I aren't sleeping together, and even if we were, that's my business. And then she's like, oh, then so why does he buy you thigh-high lingerie? And you're like, look at this in the bathroom. Jared bought me this. I mean, he just bought you that, and you're not having sex. And she's like, well, and Broma goes, yeah, at the drag show, you were running around the bathroom telling me Jared picked it out

and you didn't even have underwear on when you said that to me. I mean, wow. Wow. Wow.'" What did he pick it out for? "'Just tell me how you look in this and text me.'" And Brittany's like, "'It was an amazing outfit. It was perfect for Belle. I was doing a revival in Milwaukee.'" And then we see a flashback.

The camera's behind the door, obviously, or in front of the door, if they're behind it. And Brittany's like, hey, look, no one else can appreciate this because they won't show it, but look how freaking sexy this underwear is. And Heather's like, oh my God, I'm seeing what Jared Osmond is fucking literally into.

She's like, he bought this for me. And then we cut back and Bronwyn's like, I'm just telling you that no one's brought me crotchless panties. That's not fucked me. Not one. Never. No one's ever brought me crotchless panties fucking or otherwise. That's Heather. She's like, Carlos, could you do me a favor?

Could you bring me some crotchless panties? You don't even have to fuck me. I just wanted to know that someone brought them to me once in my life. Thanks so much. My husband literally brought me panties made out of a wooden bucket from the garden. I don't like rockless panties. Here's a barrel. You could put that on instead.

Okay, Todd, thanks. Oh, no, I was being Heather. Heather's husband is like, he literally bought me curtains that never open. As is there a velvet curtains? Is there a crockless Mormon underwear? Like, you know? So what do they call them? The garments? Can have gen af like the thermals?

Yeah, the under Oh, the special garments. Yeah, what are they called? I think they just called the garments, right? What are they just garments? Aren't they just called Garments? Undergarments? You know, a girl I was so proud. I wanted to say something. Okay, I have a question. While we pause to look this up on my flight back to LA this week. Yeah, the girl next to me was but she was across the aisle not adjacent to me on my but she was like, we were both on the aisle. She was on the other side of the aisle and she was watching, she was binging secret

lives of Mormon wives on her phone. And I wanted to, and she was wearing a hat that said thank God for, for monster trucks, queers and like something else. And, but it was like, it was good. It was, it was funny. It was like a funny hat. It wasn't like a homophobic hat. It was like, she was like, I'm a lesbian. And so, um, like a homophobic ad. It was kind of like, like, Hey, I'm a, I'm a lesbian and like, thank God for these things that I love. So, um, uh, I wanted to kind of like, lean over and be like, you're on, you're on a great journey. I hope you enjoy it. I want to be like, I've seen this. It's so good. I want to like bond, but I felt like that would be intrusive and actually just downright annoying

Did I do the right thing by not saying anything or should I know? You should always if you have an instinct to talk to somebody in a friendly way, you should always do it That's what I say. Okay, but I mean next time with me that's literally This is like literally I have said this before. There is a flight where one time I looked up and Ronnie was literally holding someone's baby and like throwing it up in the air, like in the eye, you're like up and down. I was like, Ronnie is full on playing with a stranger's baby in his hands right now.

Yeah, it's always good if you're if you're in life and you ever feel the urge to speak to somebody, especially if it's something fun, even if they ignore you or treat you like you're an idiot, it's still worth it, you know? Okay, so watch out everyone. If you're watching one of our shows near me, I will now say something to you. Because I really wanted to.

I wanted to, but then I was afraid I'd be annoying. Yeah, I've made so many little quick friends, you know, in life, like you just meet people and you have a good friendship for two minutes and then it's over forever and you never see them again. I've had so many little, you know, quick friends, you know, in life, like you just meet people and you have like a good friendship for two minutes and then it's over forever, you never see them again. I've had so many of those with people just talking about whatever they're watching, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, now it's a missed opportunity.

That's a bummer. Come on, guys, let's bring each other together. Let's come together. Uh, so then, um, we're still talking about Brittany's stupid underwear. And, um, so then Brittany's like, wait, this is a sex-forward world. Everyone can do whatever they want.

And Heather goes, sex-forward? She goes, yes. Bronwyn's like, she meant sex-positive. Sex-forward world. And Britney's like, you know, there should be no shame. There should be no shame in abstinence, and there should be no shame in anything you want to do behind closed doors, including fucking an Osmond,

or not fucking an Osmond, whatever. I mean, I didn't say that. Either way, I can do one guy. I can do 10 guys, but I only did one guy. Not 15, not 20 guys, like Angie keeps saying. But literally, no one's shaming you. They're saying, how are you acting like you're such a puritan when you're fucking, when you're bragging on television about fucking multiple people? Like, you can't have it both ways. Like, you're fucking, when you're bragging on television about fucking multiple people.

Like, you can't have it both ways. Like, she's like, well, you did it at a religious night. Okay, but so you were also joking on the same night with Heather and her about how many guys you were doing. So, get out. So now that it... Now that it's teetered into total pandemonium and is so ridiculous, Meredith is like,

okay, all right, all right. Meredith is like, Okay, all right. All right. That's enough. Okay, I just want to say I want to say something to your Angie. I got very triggered when Brittany came up to me and said that you were slut shaming her. Perhaps I don't have a whole story. Perhaps I do. Perhaps I just have a bath bomb that I'm going to give to every each and every one of you including Rudy, the butler. And I don't know, but I was hoping for a different outcome. I really was, and I'm sorry, yet it ended the way it did. I am too. Thank you for saying that.

I was devastated. I was hurt. I have always respected you as a mother, which is why I came dressed like a mother. Family is everything to me. And seeing you in that light as a mother, which is why I came dressed like a mother. Family is everything to me. And seeing you in that light as a family, I was devastated the way that it plays, hurry this up. All the pauses are really... My hearing aids are pulsing in my ear.

Actually, just hurry up. So, thank you, because I was devastated. What about Auntie? Auntie's acceptance of an apology is an, I'm sorry too, that I screamed and made a scene at your thing. I screamed about somebody being a slut in a horror. Instead, she's like, thank you, because you really devastated me.

Okay, we can email. Oh, bye. This whole situation with Angie has been very hurtful for me, and I didn't start or spread any of those rumors about Sean's sexuality, but they've chosen not to believe that. The whole situation with Angie has been very hurtful for me. And I didn't start or spread any of those rumors about Sean's sexuality, but they've chosen not to believe that. So that's what's been festering there.

But hopefully now we can move forward. And Heather's like, I love you both very much. And that was really hard. So I'm glad that you were able to make resolve. And they're all happy. And Andrew's like, let's just stay in this moment for a minute. And Bram was like, okay, well, no one mind

my bloody face over here, okay? Heather's like, this has been two really great episodes in a row, so to that end, I just want to say, receipts approved timeline. Just wanted to get that in there because... I feel like people are forgetting about that a little bit. I feel like I'm getting overshadowed a little bit. Okay. You know who's really been relegated to the sidelines?

Whitney. Oh my gosh, and Whitney is trying and just nobody's... She's trying. ...giving it to her anymore. But they bought Whitney times ten and with Brittany, because Brittany's doing the same thing that Whitney does, which is taking one little thing and twisting it. But Brittany does doing the same thing that Whitney does, which is taking one little thing and twisting it. But Brittany does it like times 100, you know?

It's like putting Whitney out of a job. You know, the thing is this, is that this show is actually on such hyperdrive, there's such big fights happening with everyone, they just can't focus on everything at once. Because earlier in the season, remember people were like, where's Meredith? Meredith is like, barely holding onto that snowflake. She's really been on the sidelines because

the beginning of the season, it was all about Lisa and Whitney. And so it's just like, like people are just having their different moments, but they're all kind of like bringing it. In fact, arguably, really unlike the, the ones who have been the most consistent, I feel like this season, the ones who've been really front and center have been Bronwyn and Angie, I think. And you could even say maybe even Mary, Mary's not even in these fights, but she's been like a lasting presence. So when the images came out of the cast

and Angie was in the center, it was sort of shocking. It's like, Angie? But she kind of has been in the middle. I think she and Bronwyn have been holding down the season, and the vets have been the ones who've been cycling in with their fights. It's like Angie, but she kind of has been in the middle. I think she and and Brahman have been holding down the season and the vets have been the ones who've been cycling in with their fights. It's sort of surprising. Yeah. Yeah, and the ones who are feeling very important dissertation. Because you really do see the newbies coming in and taking it

over, you know, because it's really rare that happens. And they're all kind of teaming up to do it. And Brittany is just like fearless, because they're just like, shut up. I mean, everybody, the whole audience is like, shut up. And she just, she is unflagged. That woman does not care. I mean, to see how much confidence she has and like how campy she's just made it all on social media.

Like she's just like, I'm a joke, okay, great. I'll sing Wicked on an escalator and cringe everybody the fuck out. You know? Or all do a skit in front of Yves Saint Laurent I'll sing Wicked on an escalator and cringe everybody the fuck out. You know? Scent like we make up on. Or I'll do a skit in front of Yves Saint Laurent about owning the jacket that Andy, or that Bronwyn claimed there were only three of, you know, she does not care.

And the newbies are taking, they're running the asylum at this point, you know? Especially Melee. Keeping up are Lisa and Meredith. Lisa and Meredith are like, I don't give a shit. Heather tried for a second, but then she got scared when she got top dogs by Bronwyn. She like back down. But Meredith and Lisa are like,

oh, hell no, we're staying. You're not taking out... We need money to rent our houses, biatch. You're not taking our snowflake. Now, that being said, I hope Bravo really appreciates that they have lightning in a bottle here. And they, like, don't, to me, I'm not saying don't make any changes for next season. I say keep it exactly how it is.

This group has great chemistry. This is like on par with classic Roni. And I think that like they gotta keep it. Like you'll know when it's like going long in the tooth and you have to make some changes. But I think that right now, just because some people are taking a backseat at different parts of the season,

it doesn't mean that we throw them out. So, like, Whitney has sort of, like, disappeared a little bit, but, like, let's, like, let's not be like, okay, well, she's gotta go, okay? She's just, she's in the mix as much as everyone else, and her stuff is impacting things, because if she weren't having a fight with Lisa, it would not have had ramifications with Bronwyn.

So, the balance is all really working so well. I just can't believe how good this show is, week in and week out. And I agree that they shouldn't get rid of Whitney either. I think they should keep Whitney. Like, I actually like Whitney a lot. Now that I'm kind of used to just how Whitney is, and you know that she's just gonna lie,

and she's just gonna cry. Like, I just love it. I love all of them, really. I think I like really all of them. And they all have like a, yeah, and they all have like, it's like, you know, the best that comes, everyone sort of has a unique personality. Obviously the golden girls,

you got like four personalities there, you can say it's about friends, but like here they all do play a certain specific role that like works. And that's why the show is so good because they're not all trying to because they're not all trying to they're not all trying to do the same thing. They all kind of have a different vibe. Bronwyn as this easily offended person who also sasses back really well is really carved out a great niche for herself.

And then you have Meredith who's like the classy one. It just it works so well. Yeah, it really does. It's really good. I was looking at my phone because I was looking at Bravo ratings on Twitter, X, who I love. Thank you for your service ratings, Bravo. You do a great job. But they don't have Salt Lake City up yet. Last week's was at 4.484 million, which is just a tragedy. It's a fucking tragedy.

This should be the top rated. I think this should be one of the top rated Housewives shows for sure. And it's just not. And that was a season high in total viewers. So. Yeah, I just don't understand how Bravo ratings work. I think it's just, I should say,

I don't understand how ratings work. It's more like I don't understand how it works in 2024 in terms of eyeballs. Here's comparisons. Beverly Hills is 0.714 million. So it's what, 80% more? It's almost double. So Beverly Hills usually is around a million or more.

So everything's falling, I think, because of streaming and everything. So everything's coming down a little bit, but it's just still be way higher. I mean, it should be, but the good news is this, is that all these networks across the board, they're not relying on ratings as much anymore to determine the success of a show.

Um, that's what actually Bravo has been saying, but also other networks have been saying it too, that like, that now ratings are not like, it used to be ratings were really the sole thing, and now they're part of the picture, but like, chatter online is important, were really the sole thing. And now they're part of the picture, but like chatter online is important and just other things and, and you know, there's also like people watching things at different times. So I think they, it's, they have a more complicated way of, or complex way of assessing whether

show is successful, which is a good thing for us because, you know, when we look at an, at the numbers on something like Salt Lake City and we're like, oh my God, they should be higher. The good part is that like Bravo is considering other elements. And I think like, it's just hard, you know, people have so many things to watch. And if, you know, certain people have been watching

Beverly Hills since the beginning, so like, well, I'll stick with it, but they don't wanna take on a new housewife show. And they may hear over and over again that Salt Lake is so good. But I get it. Sometimes the idea, like I hear about all these other, going, circling all the way back to the top of the episode, I hear about all these prestige shows that are so good.

And I'm like, I do want to watch it. I theoretically do want to watch it. I know it's supposed to be great, but like I kind of have my roster set and I kind of just want to live in my roster. Oh gosh, I have a list that I keep in my notes about shows that people suggest, and shows to watch basically.

It's probably 70 to 75 titles long, and I'm just like, I go through whenever I need something else to watch, and I'm just like, but I don't want to. You know? Yeah. Everybody's telling you it's so good, but something really has to call to you, and there's just so many options now,

and most of them just don't. Now granted, when I do watch them finally, I'm like, Oh, my God, that was amazing. I know. Yeah, who knows? I just think it was so good. And it's so rare. And every time I think, Oh, my God, what's gonna happen with Bravo? Because things are going down. We've got New York, they're still sticking behind you. You know, when things like that happen, I'm like, Oh, God, what if they're just losing it, you know? But they ain't losing it, you know? You just gotta keep the faith, because they're still pumping out shit like this. Like, when they have a season like this on,

and we've had a season of good shows, really, if you think about it, we've had a year of good seasons, then there's nothing really to worry about. At this juncture, you know? Always be cautious, but, uh... have some faith. Come on, guys. I mean, isn't this show about that? Yeah. All right, well, that was fun.

Well, actually, like literally none of them... I think all of them have left their faith, for the most part. I mean, not me. I'm a Mormon. She just got dead, bought Mitzvah. I'm a Mormon. Bury you. All right, everybody, we are gonna go over

and record our bonus episode, which is sold on SLC. So if you stuck around, bravo to watch that crazy show, you should stick around, Crapins, to listen to it over on our Patreon. That should be up in the morning. And you should. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.

Bye. Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. love you guys we'll talk to you next time. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones, Hava Nagila Weber, Know Your Worth with Jason Kurtz, Zip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch, she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson, Brigging the Funk it's Leslie Plunkett! She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! Always killin' it, it's Lola Alcolani! We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox!

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