Watch What Crappens - #2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recap! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills centers around Kyle’s Morgan Wade/Lisa Vanderpump tribute party, complete with a miniature host and Diamonds in her party invite. Cute try! Sutton tries to make peace but goes nuclear, and Boz takes her first stand.To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audio book is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Watch What Crappens! Oh, I need my future! Watch What Crappens! Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens! Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all the crap we love to discuss on your bras. I'm Ronnie. Over there is a man.

He's handsome. He's hot. No one ever calls him a snot. It's Ben Mandelker. Hello, Banooney. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good.

Welcome to the house you've built. How are things over there today? Things are quite good over here. It's a little warm here in Los Angeles, so I'm enjoying our warm December day. How are things going with you? So good, I'm having an HGTV day over here. I've got a crew in the back doing Deck the Deck. So I'm gonna do my own little mini HGTV show on a deck.

I'm gonna call it my big gay deck. I'm thinking I'll just go out there and shoot them do it. They're so cute and they're all doing such a good job. I can't wait to show you. And so that's been fun. And then that's it. Otherwise, just keeping up with these housewives. Girl, these shows are so funny.

Beverly Hills was so funny last night. I was dying laughing at this show. So good, really well done. Beverly Hills has been good. It's been fine this season. It's always good. I like this show. Well, it's not always good, let's face it.

But it's been pretty good. But last night, it was like, oh, this show still got it. It was really, really good last night. Yeah, well, the way that I make sure that I enjoy it even more is that I watched New York first. And then that really makes Beverly Hills sing because after you get to New York. Yeah, when you get to New York, and then you you get through New York and then you can get to Beverly Hills, it's like, oh yes, thank God. I watched Real Housewives of New York and then I watched Dune Prophecy and I was like, oh my God, Dune Prophecy is hilarious.

They've got a real sense of humor. After fucking New York. We'll get to New York later. We'll get to all of this in just a moment, but first to go get your mounting hysteria tour tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com. That's our 2025 tour and it starts next month. I mean, it's starting right away. We really waited till the last second to go on sale and there you are.

So go buy gifts for your people. Most of the links are up. We're still waiting on a couple of Texas, Charlotte, and possibly Vegas soon. Those should be up, not Vegas, but the other ones should be up by next week for sure. End of the week this week supposedly, end of the beginning of the week next week for sure. Just keep checking back at watchwhatcrappens.com

if you are looking for those and to find the links and all that stuff is pretty easy. Also go to patreon.com slash watch what crappens to watch our videos. This is an on-demand to Patreon video, crappens to watch our videos. This is an on demand patreon video crappens on demand. Hi there, everybody. You can watch these for free if you want to over on our YouTube page, but they're a week after we post on Patreon. Also, we do bonus episodes. Currently we're doing sold on SLC recaps as our bonuses. That is a really fun show too. So join us over there for that.

Next week is Christmas. We've got a big Christmas bonanza coming up with reality gaze, super fun. We're going to be also re-releasing some Southern hospitality episodes. We're gonna be rocking and rolling all Christmas. So stay with us then. And that is enough of my spiel buddy.

I have something to add. I have something to add, which is that the crappies are coming up as you all know, they'll be happening on February 1st, which is about six weeks away. So it's time for us to start assembling our categories, et cetera, et cetera. So there will, in the new year, there's going to be two rounds of voting. There will be ballots. But right now we have to start assembling the ballots. It's time to start. So I believe on our social media,

there is a story that's a question that's like, there may be a few questions that are asking you things like who is your favorite, like, I think it was like, who is your favorite, like, I think it was like, what is your favorite fight? What are your favorite moments? What are your favorite quotes? Things that are like a little harder for us to remember. It's easy for us to like go through the cast list

and see who's new, who's a villain, et cetera. But sometimes the things like fights and moments and quotes, those can be really hard for us to remember. So we would love your help if you could go to that story, to those stories and type in your answers to those questions that come to your mind. If the stories are gone, then we'll find another space for you to submit that stuff.

But yeah, we wanna collect all that good stuff. So thanks for the help in advance. Maybe we should pin like a nominations post, like, you know, work with the nominations post if you want to try and get something in there and just have people post comments we can start going through. But anyway, just check over there on the social

and we'll be doing that. Let's get to Beverly Hills, shall we? What a great day. This is called High Horses and Low Blows, which is yay, great title. And it is Kyle's, you know, just, just when you think Kyle might be getting an original personality,

because now instead of stealing from, you know, LVP who's been gone forever, and she doesn't have any more pink swings to steal, now she is dating a country star. So, you know, now maybe she'll just be her own person. Now, now she's just stealing from the country star and LVP because today's party has diamonds in the title,

like diamonds and rosé, but this one's denim and diamonds, and there's even a miniature horse. So, you know, LVP was sitting at home smoking a cigarette with a glass of wine going, oh, try harder, darling. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and just coughed out the souls Oh, try harder darling. And just coughed out the souls of all of the new young people that she's eating up for her new season of Vanderpump rules. Yes. And you can tell that Kyle, um, really is mad at to read all that talk

about how, uh, Kyle and to read, like they took the first step towards healing. They got a lot of stuff out. Their friendship is moving in the right direction But is it really because what is the first thing that Kyle does is she invites Camille Grammar to a party? Because she knows the Camille Grammar will go after to read so You know, there you go. Kyle will always get over her hatred for somebody if she'll go for somebody else You know, I mean Kyle classically brought oni Glanville to go for Denise Richards that year. That's pretty Kyle. So yeah, and you know, bless Camille.

I mean, really Camille, at the end of the day, you can nothing for nothing. Camille gives so much to TV. I mean, she really gives very little, but she tries so hard. And I, you know, to those of us who are just, are not always a success at everything we do, Camille is just out there. She's just still trying and God bless her.

I hope that everybody takes that as a, you know, inspirational moment. Cause if Camille can keep trying, we can too. Cause Camille just, she bats and she fails. She goes up to bat, she strikes out every goddamn time she comes on here and she just keeps going. She doesn't even care that she fails. She goes up to bat, she strikes out, every goddamn time she comes on here. And she just keeps going. She doesn't even care that she failed. She just gets up and keeps swinging a bat around in the air.

It's like, are you trying to hit a ball? Are you just trying to catch a bee? What are you trying to do? And she doesn't care. She'll just stay on the diamond, you know? But you know what though? She does get under people's skin. And so she does what she sets out to do.

Her purpose, her purpose is to annoy other people. And so she does what she sets out to do. Her purpose, her purpose is to annoy other people. And she does that. I mean, I don't think on any real housewife show, any Bravo show, we have heard the C word uttered so many times in such a short amount of time. I mean, and who would have thought that that would happen on Beverly Hills of all the franchises, the most polite of the other franchises. So, you know, Camille serves her purpose. You know, she tries to say her piece. Maybe she's successful at that. Maybe she's not. But she does, at

the very least, always get under somebody's skin, whether it's Dorit, whether it's Rinna, whether it's Kyle at one point. You know, God bless Camille Grammer. She gets under your skin and then she's thrown out in the trash, you know? Yeah, don't see her again for a year. Listen, if you keep failing, don't, you know, just don't keep trying, just keep failing. Just keep, just be fine with failing like Camille. It's so fun for the rest of us.

So we start at Garcelle's house, and Garcelle is now to the point where she's literally just doing soap opera scenes with herself, you know, like, especially on days of our lives, they will give each other monologue. I mean, they'll give themselves a monologue if they don't have, if their kids left for college,

Eileen Davidson will stand in that kitchen and talk to her damn self. Stefano DiMera, I wonder if he's alive. I wonder if he'll be coming for me today. Is there cheese in my kitchen? God, I wish John Black would fuck me. RIP John Black. They're not above a monologue and neither is Garcelle.

So Garcelle is sitting in her dining room, looking at herself on the internet because she has just received a screener and sees, she goes, oh my God, wow. The opening scene of my movie. Executive producer, Garcelle Beauvais. Oh my God, I'm not getting teary-eyed about this. I'm not doing a monologue in my kitchen.

I'm not, I refuse. I wonder how Stefano's doing. I wonder if John Black will fuck me. I wonder if there's Muenster cheese in my fridge. Wow. Yeah, I was really amused by Garcelle having this moment. First of all, this is a sequel. So are you still allowed to be teary-eyed

and surprised to see your name as executive producer when you already produced part one? So that's like part of it. Every day I go to iTunes and I cry when I see my name on a podcast. Girl, please, yes, you're still allowed to. Look, look at me, I've made it. She's like, oh, mom, I wish you could see me now.

So then we go to Dorit's house and she's putting sunblock on Jagger. And he's like, oh, mommy, are those your glasses? And she's like, yes they are, baby, come here. She goes, he's like, oh, those are really nice, mama. They say NBA on it. And she goes, well, they're Louis Vuitton. They're part of the NBA collection.

I like that she gives like a very, like she gives the specific details of where the sunglasses are from. They gotta homeschool those kids. Like she was on the red carpet. That's what homeschooling is. Cause aren't her kids, I think her kids are homeschooled. And so if that's true,

that's what I read on Reddit, which makes it true. But if that is true, then this is an education. These are Dureet's children, you know? That they learn the alphabet. You know what's in the alphabet for them? G-G-C-C. Wait, is it G-G? Is G-G-C, I'm not homeschooled.

I'm not homeschooled by it. G-G-Y-S-L. B is for diabetes, number 17. L-V and N-B-A. So, it's a deconstructed alphabet. And now we go to Erica's house and she's just like looking at renderings of what her house could look like if she had interior design.

So she's like, oh yeah, these are the three designs I wanna look at. Oh my God, look at these colors. Wow, fuck, fuck, designs I wanna look at. Oh my God, look at these colors, wow. Fuck, fuck, look at those window treatments. I don't wanna design, I want a house, I want a house. It's funny though, because when you really look at the pictures, she's looking at these designs

that are all black and white stripes. And you know how close she was to coming to prison with all that shit that Tom had going on? It's just interesting that she's looking at like an old timey prison outfit. She's like, I'm totally over the trauma, everybody, which is why my whole house will be orange and black and white striped.

It'll be one part Ronald McDonald hair, one part Hamburglar. That's the design board, the inspiration board. Well, that's for her hamburger. That's the design board, the inspiration board. Well, that's for her hamburgers. She's got one water burger theme and then one hamburger theme. Ooh, a cheeseburger from McDonald's

sounds so good to me right now. I just had a bowl of oatmeal in an attempt to be healthy. I'm like, I'm gonna be heart healthy today. I'm gonna have some oatmeal. And the very first thing I do after I'm finished with my bowl of oatmeal is start craving a McDonald's cheeseburger. This is fucked up. It's not fair. No, Leah Black came over last night because she's in town and we were on the Jeff Lewis show together yesterday. So she came over to see the house and she brought chocolates. God damn it. I've been like Pac-Manning those chocolates all day long. I'm just like, I don't need to eat that whole thing. So I just leave it on a counter. And then before you know it, there's a trail of chocolates.

So I just leave it on the counter. And then before you know it, there's a trail of chocolates half eaten on campus. And they have been eaten. I went down the whole maze. I was like, oh my God, I made it all the way to the banana level. Yeah, chocolate does not last near me for a duration of time. God, that's so good.

So Jennifer Tillies, let's go over to the best scene of the day over at Jennifer Tillies' home. So she's talking to, I'm guessing her assistant, right? Jeff Hergay. Yeah. Oh, my mouse stopped working. Oh. Well, this is the problem when you decide

to finally get a Bluetooth mouse, and now guess what? The mouse is like, Oh, you gotta, I told you, you gotta get the Apple one because those other ones, you gotta charge every two hours. This is, I literally, my, you gotta charge every two hours. This is, I literally, my, I'm having a sudden moment. I let the mouse go.

Okay, mouse, come on, come on. Yeah, I'm doing a podcast. You gotta plug her in, girl. Talk about Jennifer Tilly while I save the mouse. So Jennifer Tilly, you know, like most housewives, keeps the gaze working, because some of us just, thank God for this, because I don't even know what I'd be,

well, I know what I'd be doing. I'd be waiting tables still, but a lot of us just thank God for this because I don't even know what I'd be well I know what I'd be doing I'd be waiting tables still but a lot of us just don't have any skills. Me one of them I'm a terrible waiter. But you know thank God in Beverly Hills even if you're not a real housewife on TV there are plenty of women like these women who really do keep gays working. I mean they will just get all of us foppyI gays in there and just hand us, you know, hangers and a steamer and just have us go, you know, just go personal assistant gays. And Jeff is one of the real housewives in the gay economy.

So he's working for her and you know, he's not great at it because he's like, I don't know where the wine glasses are, which this is why he can't be employed anywhere else, you know, but Jennifer Tilly loves it. And say, well, can you get a drink for Tiffany too? She needs something to drink. And he's like, well, does she like Diet Coke

or regular Coke? No, she wants wine. There's a bottle of wine in there, just half a glass, cause she'll drink the whole thing. And then we find out Tiffany is her little Chucky doll. It's cause she does the voice for Tiffany, I think, right? For Chucky, the Chucky franchise.

Yes. So she's just sitting there. She's like, he got, don't drink it all. And she literally puts a glass of champagne or wine, white wine in Tiffany's hand and just sits there. And Jeff is like, well, make sure she doesn't spill. We just cleaned her dress. She's like, yes, she's always spilling stuff.

I think we got it. Put that right there. And so Kyle shows up and Kyle, you know that like, Kyle has a weird relationship with the supernatural, so we know she's gonna freak out when she sees this doll. Yeah, so they see Kyle coming and she rings the doorbell. So Jennifer is like, oh, okay, Jeff,

pretend to hear my butler, it's gonna be so hilarious. So he does and he's like, hello, I'm Jeff. And Carl's like, hello, I'm Carl. She goes, no, you're Jeff the butler. This is Jeff, he's my butler. I'm fancy like Kathy Hilton. And which is kind of funny that she says that because it's like, you know, that's her sister, right?

You know, that's like, that's Kathy's sister who wants to be fancy like Kathy Hilton to I'm not like her I like her low-rent sisters. Who are they again? Jeff? Who are Kathy Hilton sisters that are nearly as famous or as rich as her? Oh, it's you Kyle. Sorry about that The only one who thinks that they're pretending to be Kathy Hilton I who thinks that they're pretending to be Kathy Hilton. I heard that if you ranked all three sisters together, that Kathy Hilton actually ranks number one. That was on BravoCon, I believe. So, Kyle's like, wow, your house is so pretty,

which, you know, Kyle doesn't believe, because this house is so unique. It's like in Spanish style. It's very unique. Kyle really likes a gutted and marbled and painted white house. And that's not this house at all. So she's just kind of like, -"Hmm, very nice house." -"Kyle doesn't know what to do."

Yeah. Kyle doesn't know what to do with someone's house that has like a unique artistic vision. She's like, if the house doesn't look like Kathy's or Chris Kardashian's, I don't understand the decor. Like she's like, where's your black and white checkerboard foyer? Yeah. Do you not have neon signs anywhere or? Well, this is my party house. I actually live next door.

And so we find out that she's just so rich, she's got houses everywhere and she lives next door to one house that she lives in. And she tells us, I have lots of properties. I have a property in Las Vegas because my boyfriend and I are professional poker players. And then we see a picture of him and her in her poker outfit. This is all such a flex on Kyle Richards. It's hilarious to be able to have side by side mansions in, are they, are she in Bel Air? It doesn't matter where she is. I mean, Bel Air tops Beverly Hills, you know,

you have side by side mansions in Bel Air and then for your day job, you just go and potentially just lose the money that you just have everywhere. You're like, you know what? I've accumulated so much wealth. Let me go to Vegas and just gamble it. I'll just gamble it professionally. I will professionally just put this money into the ether.

And that's just how much money she has. Kyle, I don't think Kyle even realizes how wealthy Jennifer is. And Jennifer really is a poker player. I've seen her on World of Poker. I watched that. I used to watch, there was like a world series of poker channel on LG TVs. And I would watch that while I was eating lunch every, cause I love poker, you know? And so I would watch that every day and she was on it sometimes.

And she's very, very funny playing poker. Cause you know, poker is mostly dudes. It's like dudes and sunglasses trying to outboy each other. They're like, I'm a guy, I'm smellier than you. They're like, nah, I'm smellier, I ain't afraid of you, you loser. You know, that's how the guys are. And then Jennifer's like, uh-oh, am I going to bet everything? I'm going to put everything I have into the pot.

Let's see. And she just, it's so funny to watch her in the middle of all these guys. And then when she loses, she's like, oh darn, I guess I didn't get that one. Guess I was bluffing. Oh God. Well, not only does she have side by side houses

in Bel Air, she also has a beach house in Malibu and she goes, but we never go there because there's a ghost there. And he really doesn't like us being there, I can't blame him. So she just has an empty house that she lets the ghosts roam free in. She wants to leave the ghost at peace.

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and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Kyle sees the doll in the rocking chair and she's like, ah! She's like, oh, don't mind Tiffany. Tiffany's a little bit of an alcoholic. And you just keep putting these glowing eyes on Tiffany as she holds her little wine glass. And then, and Kyle's like,

oh my God, that's really creepy. Although I think I own that dress and that jacket. I'm like, Kyle, you're even competing with the doll. But then we do find out. Kyle's ripping it off, Kyle's ripping it off the doll. The doll doesn't need this. What the freak is that? And then John Paul's like, yes,

Gaultier made that especially for Tiffany. John Paul Gaultier. What is that? What is that? And then Jeffers like, yes, the Gautier made that especially for Tiffany, John Paul Gautier. John Paul Gautier made it. I mean, we've been talking about how she's rich from being from, she's got that Simpson's money, but like, wow, that is Simpson's money that you're having like these bespoke dresses for your doll.

But she's also a gay icon, which makes her more than rich because she's a certain kind of famous that you can't just get on your own, you know what I mean? And so, Kyle's just beside herself, looking at all of this and hearing that Jean-Paul, because Jean-Paul probably called her up like,

I love your work, it's Tiffany, I'd love to make you a dress for Tiffany. Triangle boobs,'ll have triangle boobs. We do triangle boobs is okay for you. I'll show you John Paul, that's fine. So Sutton comes in and she says hello and everything. Hey, you remember Jeff, right? He's the butler.

He's very fancy like Kathy Hilton. And Sutton's like, oh yes, hi, nice to see you. Nice to see you. I'm giving you best Hollywood right here, everyone. Look at my look, everybody. So they're all saying, oh my God, your look, et cetera. Sparkling water goes around. And Kyle is like, okay, I hope you guys have your outfits

ready for my diamonds and denim party, guys. And I like Kyle, Kyle wanting them to get their outfits ready ahead of time. When then when we get to Kyle's party, I cannot stand, you know what, I'm putting a pin in it. I'm putting a pin in it. I'm going to wait to the party. Oh, could you get Kyle some more sparkling water? These glasses are fabulous, but they don't really hold much much like Kyle. Glasses are fabulous, but they don't really hold much, much like Kyle. So he goes off and Kyle's like, this is my first party, my first party without Mo. Sounds like, well, you might find it liberating.

You know, you might finish the party and be like, hell yeah, this is Kyle's house. Now, did you ever figure out how to open up that door that leads outside? Have you been able to get outside her patio with that chair that is now sideways and blocking it? You probably figure out how to turn your coffee mate on. Have you tried the on off switch? Okay, just checking. Yeah, this part of the real liberating, real liberating. And then she's like, yeah, I mean, it feels funny.

Like having my first party alone without moping my co-hosts, because like there's always something going wrong and then mow it out. And then we see a flashback to him being like, I think something, babe, it is fixed now. Wow. He would do so much. He would figure out how to open up doors. He would turn on lights. He even knew how to put a pillowcase on a pillow. Like it's weird to have to do these things on my own now. I feel a little strange, you know, like, what do I put all the invitations like Kyle's house,

like you Maskey residence. It's just like, I just like feel so lost. So I- It's like literally you just do that. Come to my party at my house. You don't have to say Umanski. You don't have to say Umanski residence. You're having a, you're having a diamonds and denim party. You don't have to act like you're in Downton Abbey. Okay. Just say, hey y'all come to the rodeo in one, two, three and see no stupid face lane.

So they start stupid face lane. So they start talking about the other the trip or whatever. And Jennifer Tilly is like, well, this is nonstop when you and the read had that big blow up. And then we see a week earlier to read and Kyle going at it. And then Jennifer is like, oh yeah, we were like, damn, but I guess I felt like it cleared the air a little where you were like talking about how you felt and then she was talking about how she felt and then another woman started talking but she had salmon in her hand.

So I was really just listening to her to be honest with you. Yeah. I mean, absolutely. I felt better. I felt like a lot lighter the next day. I mean, obviously we still have to have a conversation. Obviously I have to invite her nemesis to my party and confront her with her. But like, you know, I think we're moving in the right direction. Well, great. That's great for you. That is great for you.

And I was like, oh, you guys have your own problems. I guess, huh? And she's like, yeah, I was like, it's good, use me ma'am, but I would like to take over for you. Huh? Okay, Ka, I'm taking over your problems with Dorit now. So, Seton is just so huffy and puffy and offended that she

was trying to have a sisterhood moment and Dorit argued with her. And this is all Sutton's fault because Sutton is the one who got a bee in her bonnet because Erika muttered something and Sutton's like, everything there should be no muttering, there should be no stage whispers, everything should be out in the open. And it's such a small thing that she decided to confront Dorit about. And then Dorit went off the handle and now Sutton is all furious. And she's like, all I was trying to do was get us as a group to understand that we can express our feelings without being ostracized, without being yelled at, without being ganged up on. And Dorit just kept on talking about Teddy. And you're missing the point, Dorit. The point is no one actually cares about Teddy. We shouldn't be talking about Teddy in you're missing the point to read. The point is no one actually cares about Teddy.

We shouldn't be talking about Teddy in 2024 on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's not about Teddy, it's about the integrity of the show. I mean, it's about the whole group as a whole. And Jennifer's like, well, you know, like it's sort of like how Miss America's when they're asked a question and they just keep on talking until they think that maybe they've answered it.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. That was such a funny line too. I love her. God, she's so good. She's such a great addition to this. But also Sutton's such a hypocrite because Sutton and Garcelle, especially Garcelle, sits there and makes little side comments

constantly to each other. I mean, fucking constantly. And Setton is the queen of eye rolling people, sitting there and eye rolling. So whatever, Setton. So then Erica arrives over at Dorit's house and Jagger's like, I'll open it, mama. She's like, okay.

And so he goes to the door. He's like, villain, villain. Blah, blah, blah. He runs around starting all the fire alarms. He's like, stop it, Saga! I told you she's not a villain anymore. Hello, Erica, come in. Oh, hi, so nice to see you, son.

Get the fuck out of my face. So that's just how I talk to my friends' kids. She's like, oh, yes, but he's going off to tennis. So they said to, so Doritzaia, please come on in. I made us some water. She put some lemon slices and cucumber slices in the water. Erica's like, not I made us some water. She's like, well, I am so tired, Erica.

I am just so tired. Please ask me about it. I'm so tired. You ask me about it. I'm so tired. You know, you're lucky with everything that's happening with PK and I that you're just tired from there because I should say it's as bad as I could because I'm sure it can get worse.

It can get worse, Erica. Because like, oh yeah, it could get way worse. It's gonna get way, way worse than a home time. Erica, reassuring Erica, like wait, wait until they threaten you with prison. Get back to me. We haven't spoken in two weeks. And Erica's like, well, do you feel overwhelmed?

And she's like, well, you do see this jug of water. That took me five hours to make. So I guess a little bit. Um, and Erica's like, I can't imagine how hard it is to separate with children. I was one of those children. I remember my mom got divorced.

She got separated. Not once, but twice. You could try to hide, but they feel it. They're in the house. They know, they know when you walk in late to their children's recital, and you judge them silently while you're just trying to sing a little Christmas song.

It's still traumatized by that bitch. Never gonna forgive her. I'm like, oh, sorry, Doreen, this is about you. I love that Erica still has such clear mommy issues that run through this whole episode. They really do. And I love that her therapist is also so good. And actually, one of the best best we'll get to that later

But um doesn't really nail the mommy thing Like I'd like her to anyway. Well, we'll judge the therapist in good time. It just your weight Henry Higgins Sarah cuz like well, I hope you and Kyle got somewhere on Oceanside. Oh, we definitely did We definitely did listen coil and I got where we needed which is the beginning and where we get it all out, you know, and now we can start somewhere. And I'm happy about that. So, you know, can we talk about some of that else? Cause I'm really mad at Sutton now instead.

Well, first I just want to say, I like Bose. Oh yes. I think she's cool. Now who is Bose again? Oh, yes. I think she's cool. Now who is Bose again? Sir cuz like well, did you see the pictures from a trip on Instagram? It was pretty amazing You know, she went with the daughter. It just looks so special She's just very very special and so we see Bose and her daughter, you know taking pictures on their trip and So then they're talking about how busy Boze is. It's crazy that she's flying here and there

and still coming to a party. And then now we're going to talk about Sutton. Anyway, so Sutton talking about sisterhood. Honestly, it just felt so hypercritical. And then she raises a voice at me. I raise my voice back and then she's mad at me. Woo hoo, hoo yee. How dare I, how dare I speak?

Well, yeah, and I lost it on the sprint with her too. And then we see a flashback where Sun goes, well, you know, by the way, there was a moment when Erica, you kind of whispered something to Kyle and then goes, well, you saw it, well, Erica, that was a lot. So we come back and, well, actually now we, now we're going to start cross cutting between, uh, the Erica and Doree conversation with the Jennifer Tilly, uh, group. So Kyle is like, you know, when you first brought that up, Sutton in the sprinter to Erica, why didn't you, why didn't you speak up? And she's like, well, you know, because I could hear her sage whisper. And she said, well, that's not what Dorit said last night.

And then we see a flashback to all that happening in Oceanside. And then, so it's like, I mean, the whole point of my sisterhood act is that we don't talk about each other behind each other's backs, especially in a whisper at the table. Do you get Erica? I mean, that's literally what you're doing though, right now.

You guys have gathered in front of a doll. Like the only one who is keeping this pact is Annabelle. The rest of you guys are talking behind each other's backs. Right? So then back at Doreen's, Erica's like, well, at least I had the balls to say to Kyle's, you know, to say to Kyle that's different than what I heard the other night. You know, whatever my comment, at least I said it. And Sutton's looking at me, well, fuck you.

At least I said it. And so Erica's like, whatever, we all say things under our breath, so stupid. So then back to Sutton, she's like, but this, this is an amazing group of women. We have an amazing dynamic. And I'm like, but this, this is an amazing group of women, we have an amazing dynamic. And I'm like, what has happened to us? We've unraveled.

Girl, you were never ravelled. You were never ravelled. What are you talking about? Yeah, Sutton is the last person to ever talk about being ravelled and sane. Sutton's literally nuts. Let's just go back to Magic Mike. Yes, so she's like-

Go back to like literally 60% of her scenes on this show when she's screaming and crying over nothing. Or just flash forward to the end of the episode. So she's like. Or 10 minutes from now, yeah, you're exactly right. She's like, listen, I am not angry with Dory and almost I'm here. Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh

Chimed, chimed. Buh buh I'm sorry everyone, that's my antique clock. I bought it. It cost five million dollars. I just thought I'd have it. It's haunted, so we'll probably throw it off the pier later. And they're just stopping. They're annoyed that they have to stop because they just keep crying and just keep looking at the ground like, oh my God,

we have to wait for this fucking clock. The clock never stops. It just keeps going and going. And they get mad and Jennifer can see they're annoyed and she goes, it belonged to Cher. Hehehehe. Hehehehe. Hehehehe.

Don't worry guys, it's okay. It's okay to be interrupted because we're basically being interrupted by Cher. It's like Cher is here with us right now. It's so funny, like she just put it into it, like, you can't be annoyed. This is a religious home and here we worship Cher. So get your shit together, you know? And those hands do not go backwards, I'll tell you that, that much. It's so funny.

They do not go backwards. You know, Cher, if they could, Cher would have done it. Cher would have turned it back. Yeah. You know share if they could share would have done it share would have turned it back. Yeah So since I'm not angry with Dreat I just if I could turn back you I know I heard that laugh Like you thinking I didn't get your share joke I was like Ronnie. I was like, he'll get it. He'll get it. Give him time. No, I'm realizing I got it get it I got it. You just like I'm gay. so of course I got it. You've done better, Ben. You've done better. No, no, it wasn't that.

I was like, oh, I think, I just heard your, you're like, he didn't get it laugh. And I was like, oh, I think I was supposed to sing the song because I'm gay, you know? It's like a gay trigger. You're supposed to do, if someone says that, they wouldn't turn back the time. I was supposed to go,

if I could turn back time. No, it was more like I was laughing because I felt like I made my little joke and then I was afraid you didn't get it. So I re-emphasized it more specifically and then you were like, uh-huh. And then I was like, oh, I'm forcing this joke to land right now. I'm like, if Cher could turn back time, wow, she'd have so much fun with this clock right now, people, am I right? She sure would do it.

Do you believe in life after clocks? So, yeah, Cher. She should come to the show. Cher, am I right, guys? My mouse is still frozen. I just wanna announce that to everyone. My mouse is still frozen. Are you want to announce that to everyone. My mouse is still frozen. Are you charging it?

I am charging it. I don't know what it's, it's tragic. Luckily, luckily I can scroll my arrows up and down my notes, but I just feel, I feel like I've lost an appendage right now. This is, this is devastating to me. I don't blame you. And you've worked so hard on that setup too.

It sucks when you put all this work into something and then it's like something little just to come on. I put't have to deal with this anymore. I'm like, I'm pretending I'm at 100% right now by buying all this equipment and you're still looking at me, it's a struggle. You know what, enough about Kyle's face, okay? Enough about Kyle's face. It's burned! Her face looks great, I shouldn't be snarky. I just had to take in the joke where I could find it. I had to make up for that Cher joke.

I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up for that joke. I had to make up fory. I just had to take the joke where I could find it. I had to make up for that share joke situation. Your joke was good. It was my reaction that was bad. Go for some low hanging fruit. Speaking of Kyle. So then we go to Garcel and Garcel's like,

wow, here I am standing in the kitchen with my dog Kobe and my house manager Glenda. Hello, Glenda, would you like to help me pack into a U-Haul? I have called Sutton to help me with a U-Haul. I feel great about it. Hold on, I wish my mother could see this moment. Are you doing kabuki right now? You don't have to narrate all this. Matthew 11

Glenda's like, I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now. I hope you're happy. Stop it, Glenda. You're Glenda, not Glinda. Stop trying to ride the wave. It doesn't count. So, uh, Garcell's like, uh, I can't believe I can't find that butterfly. Have you seen it? And Glenda's like, popular. Do you want to know? No, no. Commercials, here comes one right now. So they're doing storage and their big wacky scene is going to be Sutton driving a U-Haul truck with her assistant Avi. So that's what we're excited for because they're going to be taking stuff out of storage to Garcel's new home in Mercer. OXNARD. OXNARD.

That's right. Ventura. Ventura. No, OXNARD is the street, but OXNARD is up in Ventura. It's way the fuck out there. I, by the way. Good for her. Yeah.

Good for her. Also good for her, all of a sudden driving that U-Haul. I have never driven a U-Haul and I think I'd be scared too. I mean, I'm, I've driven one and let me tell you who was scared everybody around me. It was It's terrible. That's what's scary about a U-Haul is you know that it's an idiot like you driving it and that's the scariest thing when you see one on the street because if they let Me into one of those things they'll let anybody and trust me. It was not pretty Yeah, I'd be so well first of all, she was on the 101 freeway

So that's already like that's just the one- on one's a lot if you're in like a highly visible car, like we have lots of windows and no blind spots. But like in a U haul where you can't see out the rear view window, you just have to rely on those mirrors. It's just a I'm stressed. But she suddenly not only was driving that you haul, she seemed like happy as a clam. She seemed really comfortable with it. She was just like toodling down the highway with it. So I liked that. That was a nice,

nice dimension to her that she can drive a U-Haul. So she complains, you know, of course, you know, you need to, you need to get a helicopter because this is real far. This is real far. And Grace says, like, oh, please, it's an hour. It's like an hour and a half away, which is how far Malibu is, really, usually, for people in Hollywood. It's pretty close. It can take like an hour and a half to get to Malibu. Oxford and Malibu are pretty close actually.

Yeah. Which is crazy. Oh, are they? Relatively. I mean, I guess so. Like once you start going up PCH past Malibu, everything seems close. It's like, and then you're at Santa Barbara.

But good for her for going out there, that's so great. I saw her do a house walk through somewhere, I don't know where it was, but she's like, hi, I'm Garcelle Beauvais, I wanna show you my house. This is the living room, and let me just say, wow. Garcelle, can we see upstairs? No, no. Wow. Wow. Garcella, can we see upstairs? No. No.

No. So they drive to this house and she's like, I am obsessed with this door, obsessed. And it is one of the hugest doors I've ever seen. It's really big. It's a mansion door on not a mansion. I mean, it's a big beach house, but you know, beach houses are generally not mansions. And it's as big. It's a mansion door on not a mansion I mean, it's a big beach house, but you know beach houses are generally not mansions and it's as big as the wall

It's as big as a wall in a beach house gorgeous door. It was a really it was a gorgeous door But I also you know, I'm suspicious of giant doors. Sometimes they're just too big Like I don't want to feel like when I open a door I'm actually rotating a set in on wicked like I want to feel like the doors just a door Oh, you can you can't spend want to feel like the door is just a door. Oh, you can't spend time in Texas. Every door is like a mall entrance. My front door in Texas looks like a mall entrance. It's ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like with those big gas doors, it does feel like you're going to open up

that door and there's going to be someone sitting on a couch that rotates in and starts singing. They're so big, they're enormous. Yeah, they really are. Like, are we expecting 10 people to come in, like are we expecting the Rockettes to come in in formation? Like, why do the doors have to be that big? You never know. So they go see this house, it's great.

She did a great job on it. She did a great job. And she's talked about how much work it was and how you know you're picking everything every day. And it was so cool to see this. I love to see a nice remodel. She did a really great job. And so then let's see what else happens in this one.

I'm trying to scroll as fast as I can, but as you know, my mouse is dead. So I'm just relying on my little fingers. you know, we get a tour of it. It looks really great. And it sounds like, Oh, Garcelle did this on her own, you know, that whole, that whole moment of being proud for your friend, which is cute. And then so she's like, look what you've done with your life. And she's like, yeah, I mean, look what we in my son said, mom, you've given us a life.

It's already incredible. And then it's a single mom. You did this. Then he lifted me up above his shoulders and he said, look, everybody, that is my mom and you know, I'm the proudest mom ever because I'm a officially a good mom. Now I'm going to have my kids in the next episode and I'm going to beg them to call me a good mom before they accuse me of being a runaway who never spends time with them. Thank you for joining my segment. Wow. Well, you know, it's hard to get thanks from our children, especially when you force them

to spend their summers in the South fixing vending machines. But you know, they'll thank us eventually. And you know, I've been thinking about it, by the way, can I just can we get to gossip in? Okay, I've been thinking about it a lot with this group. There are things that happen all of a sudden, and then there are like shifts that are happening and not just with Dorit and Kyle. But now we've got Dorit and me. Oh my God. And this is a person I just had a heart to heart with on a boat. And now look, now I'm in a fight with Dorit. So I was just going around telling everyone, like, can you believe this giant feud I'm in with Dorit when they just like, Dorit popped off in, in the Sprinter van.

Yes. But it was like a blip. And now she's like, I just can't even believe the feud that is breaking the internet right now between me and Dorit. That is something she's really over-hyping her stupid view that nobody cares about. So she was like, well, I can tell you this right now. If it comes to divorce or whatever is happening with those children, if she wants me to guide her with finance stuff, that other shoe is going to drop, Doreen.

It's going to drop. And Garcelle goes, what shoe? Hmm. It's like the PK shoe. And I think that at some point she's going to realize she's in a big mess and we're going to have to pull together like the PK shoe. And I think that at some point she's gonna realize she's in a big mess and we're gonna have to pull together, like a sisterhood. We're all gonna have to pull together

and we are gonna have to bring the village to DeRite. We're gonna have to re-clothe her, re-home her. She's a mess. She's losing everything. Well, you know, when I said last year about her jewelry and her robbery and everyone gasped and everyone acted like they never heard it before. And and I was like what the fuck is wrong with you people Well, I don't think to read had anything to do with that robbery, but I think someone did and I think to reach

Just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time Coming soon to lifetime executive used by garcelle bovay. Oh my god. I can't believe I saw my name in the credits that commercial lifetime executive used by Garcelle Beauvais. Oh my God, I can't believe I saw my name in the credits in that commercial. So, it's like, oh God, here she goes. And yes, she just did it. She's basically bringing up the internet rumor

that PK planned this whole thing. Because if people recall, this was pretty fishy how it happened at the time. When it happened, the reason it was fishy, well, not only because it's PK and Dorit and the grifters and everybody knows it, but at the time all this news was coming out that BK owed millions of dollars to the Bellagio

and they were coming after him because of gambling debts, millions, like a lot of money and everybody else. News about his bankruptcies in London were coming for coming out again, re-emerging because of this news. And it was like $11 million bankruptcy. Then DeRee went on the reunion and was saying, I own every single thing that I wear on the show. I've bought everything. Everything you've seen on the show is app. Like I own it. I've got a huge archive of everything I've ever worn on the show, which is bullshit. Everybody knows that she runs half that shit.

And the very next night they got robbed. So it looked like Dorit went on the show to announce that she had all of this money sitting in her closet. So that when they robbed her literally the next night, they have TV footage of her saying that she owned all this stuff. So that's what they're going to claim on the insurance. It was very fishy the way that it all went down. Okay. I'm not saying anybody faked it, but this is why the internet thought it was fishy.

It's not just everybody's mean and cynical. It's fishy cause it's them. So the internet was talking, Dureed obviously heard it. Nobody else on this show is going to bring it up. So Dureed's like, fuck it. I don't have anything to do. My kids are gone. I've got nothing. I've already blown the load on my, my beach house story.

Here we go. Let's just bring up Reddit. Let's do it. Yeah. Why not? So now we go to Erica's house and, um, her therapist, Dr. Jen and a comes over, um, and Erica offers her some non homemade water, I believe. And- Tacky. I know, it's like, how about next time you have a guest, you spend some time making some water, okay? So Erica is like, well, I have a lot of things to tell you about what's going on in this home, okay?

You know, I'm gonna be here, I would have been here for four years in November, and I'm finally, you know what? It stirred up a lot of emotions, you know? And she's like, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I want to make this place a sanctuary. I mean, do you know how miserable it is to come to this two point three million dollar house with vegetation and a pool in the back?

Oh God, there's a duck in the pool. I might as well be living in a cardboard box. How do I turn it into a sanctuary? It is so funny watching Erica act like little orphan Annie. It has been funny since she got this house, but especially now, cause this house looks great. I think this house is so beautiful. I mean, she's like, bring your water,

bring your polar bears water fluoride. Let's go in here and talk about the dreams. And so she does. And they walk into the next room. It is just gorgeous. I mean, I know it's fluoride. Let's go in here and talk about the dreams. And so she does. And they walk into the next room. It is just gorgeous. I mean, I know it's not the big grand house we're not used to on this show, but it's Spanish architecture,

like homes in West Hollywood are. And I think it's just gorgeous. I would love this house. She's like, you know, when I was walking down those flagstones to the little wrought iron gate through the hedges to come let you into this household. I thought, how can I make this a sanctuary? I don't know how I could do it.

It's just, it's cute. It's such a cute house. Like it is. It's like, like, like the fact it's actually kind of funny because her designs, she wants the black and white of fire to make it all the stuff that doesn't seem very sanctuary at all. I mean, she's bringing Lauren Lawrence Ballard next week and he, I don't look at him and think like, Ooh, sanctuary. I just think of like, you know, patterns barfing up on patterns. And I also think of the fresh and easy supermarket RIP because that's where I saw him once carrying a basket full of pre-packaged vegetables.

Two bell peppers and a wrapper. Isn't that something? Fresh and easy. Reminds me of my travels to Inja. So I haven't seen bell peppers like this since I was in Pakistan. So yeah, what you're saying is correct. She's like trying to Beverly Hills-ify it.

She's trying to Kathy Hilton it too. And that's not what you do to this house. She's like trying to Beverly Hills-ify it. She's trying to Kathy Hilton it too. And that's not what you do to this house. It's a gorgeous Spanish home, madam. If you do anything, I would take out all the new tile and replace it with like Moroccan or Spanish tiles and take out all the newer countertops and make them look Spanish. Do it, it's already, look at the beautiful stucco work

in there and the beams going through. I mean, it's just gorgeous. Okay, so anyway, the point is she doesn't know what she has. So Erica, look at my mic, my mic is bouncing up and down, so excited for it. Your mouth. My mic's like, yes, Ronnie, yes. Yes, Ronnie, say it.

Speak on it, Ronnie. I'll tell you, if that countertop could turn back time, it would. If I can turn back time. Okay, there you go. Consider that a dollar in your fucking red bucket, Santa. What? The gay Salvation Army Santa standing outside

just asking for shared donations. Share and share alike. You know what I want from Santa? A functional mouse. That's what I want. All I want for Christmas is a scrolling capability with my hand. If I could mouse my mouse. I do want to turn back time and fix my mouse. I just bought it. I've got three mouse. So Erica's like, yeah, well, where I moved in,

it was just horrible because I could step outside and there was paparazzi everywhere. Taking my picture, taking my picture. Can I get a Taco Bell in peace? Can a woman have a depressing bitch on Taco Bell from Dawn Ash in peace? Jesus, crackers. And it was true because there were paparazzi

out there every day and they were like, oh my God, guess Erica's depressed. Look who's eating Taco Bell again. What a life. So she gives Dr. Jennings- What I'm always gonna remember from Erica's trauma is that she was Taco Bell shamed literally every day. Which is so wrong.

And then she finally got to fuck a famous person, that guy that lived down the street, Armie Hammer or whatever, and then he turned out to be some kind of, I was gonna say cannonball. What is he? I think he had like, he had a cannibal kink. And then the-

It's a cannonball. That young man is a cannonball right there. You guys, I dated Armie Hammer, and he would masturbate and force me to do cannonballs. It was so embarrassing. Sorry. You army hammer, you knew army hammer was gonna be fucked

up because how do you spend your entire life sounding almost like baking soda, but not quite? Like that's gonna fuck you up a little bit. Yeah. You can never get clean. You know what I mean? Don't, so like, I'm gonna Don't, I'm gonna stop myself. I'm gonna stop myself. No, go ahead.

Don't let me stop you with my nonsense. I don't think anyone needs any of my Arm and Hammer fanfic in regards to Arm and Hammer. Let's just move on to Erica. Arm and Hammer fanfic. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one.

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