Watch What Crappens - #2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

This is part 2 of a 2-part recap!The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills centers around Kyle’s Morgan Wade/Lisa Vanderpump tribute party, complete with a miniature host and Diamonds in her party invite. Cute try! Sutton tries to make peace but goes nuclear, and Boz takes her first stand.To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that we always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. Okay. So Erica is talking about she needs a new start, blah, blah, blah. She just wants to all she's been doing is surviving. But now she's coming out of it. And she's feeling good. And she's ready to rumble. And she's ready to get a remodel. So then she's like, yeah, you know, Sutton gave the speech and Oceanside about sisterhood. And then she points me out because I made some comment to Kyle about what Dorit said.

And then apparently it wasn't good enough where I should have brought it up to the entire group. And whatever. Then she flips out all the time. So whatever. So then we get a montage of Sutton flipping out. And she feels left out or something. Yeah. And Erica goes, I mean, I'm not here to diagnose personality disorders, but I've got one. So we probably all do. Let's face it. And she's not right.

And then she just slurps her Coke. Yeah. And then she's like, you know, I've worked so hard to do this in the past. You know, you know, I just need to move forward. And why do I get like, why do I get and hate this word? I hate saying this word triggered, but like, why do I get so triggered by a sudden and Dr. Jen's like, well, sudden tends to trigger you for a number of reasons. First of all, everyone triggers you. Second of all,

I think that anytime that you get a should your knee jerk reaction is a fuck you and like don't tell me what to do and how dare you judge me and fuck off. And I'm not paying for this therapy bill. I might as well get some fortune cookers for this sort of advice. I don't know. I think you just sort of say those things sometimes. And Erica's like, okay, well, that was an accurate call. And it was, it was an accurate read and this entire scene, as I said before, earlier in the recap, I was extremely impressed with this therapist. We are not used to seeing a level of therapy that works on this show. And so on these shows in general, it's usually just a waste.

But Erica's actually, you can tell been going to this person actually been going. And I think her advice is good. Although I would say this is the part where I was like, she's triggered by Sutton because clearly she has mommy issues. I mean, she's talked about her mommy issues on the show. She's from a Southern blonde woman from the same place that Sutton's from.

And her mom, she considers to be such a bitch. And her mom seems pretty nice, but of course she knows how to southern mom it too. I have a southern mom as well. But she's triggered and Sutton triggers the fuck out of her. And so I'm surprised her therapist isn't calling her on the mommy issues. I think she's touching on it by saying, well, whenever somebody bosses you around, you get mad. Pete Slauson Right. And so, well, I mean, because I mean, that's the thing is that like, the mommy issue, it's not that like, oh, this is a result of mommy

issues. The mommy issues are a result of this, I would probably imagine. I don't know. You know, I'm, I have therapy later today. Well,lauson What does that mean? What do you mean? Jared Ranere Well, meaning that like, you know, it's not like, it's like, when she doesn't like to hear shoulds, I would imagine it's, and her mom is the greatest example of that. But like, generally speaking, it's like, on a more fundamental, I think it's just it's more fundamental, more fundamental than just like, oh, an issue with your mom, more fundamentally as you don't like being told, told should. I don't know. I, you know, I'm not a therapist. I don't know if you know why I'm acting like

that. I'm just saying like, I think she's touching on her mommy things by saying, cause you know, it's what moms do. They say, you should be this way, Erica, you should do this, Erica. I think maybe it's a wave. Maybe it's a way of not directly saying like you have mommy issues because she doesn't want to trigger her. She said it so many times. And she knows if she says it one more time, she and she in turn will become the mother in the relationship with her patient.

So that's true. That's very, that's very good. Yeah. You know, that does happen. There's all kinds of what do you call it? Transference. There's all kinds of transference for therapists, you know, and that's definitely one of them. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm exactly like I'm at therapy today. You need therapy for therapy. I love therapy. Like, I wonder what my therapist was thinking about me when I was telling her about my mommy issues. I mean, the way she looked at me, I will never forget her. I will never. I'm going to go back though.

I'm going to go back. I know I shouldn't, but I'm going to. So she's like, well, you know, this is historical for you. I mean, less about Sutton and more about your history of shoulds in this group of women. And you know, you have your own list of shoulds of what the woman should have done for you and what apparently you expect from a therapist and how much you think you should pay a therapist who actually comes to your house, comes to this beautiful sanctuary that you want to paint black and white and

all the things you think you should be doing. And Erica's like, okay, okay. All right. I got it. I got it. Well, it's interesting to hear you say that because Sutton threw a surprise pajama party, pizza party for Kyle. I played that five times laughing so hard.

Sutton threw a surprise pajama party, pizza party for Kyle. Sutton threw a surprise pajamaama party pizza party for Kyle. Sent through a surprise pajama party pizza party for Kyle. Sent to a surprise pajama. You can't do it. Trying to do it multiple times. Sent through a surprise pajama party pizza party. Cause she's a bitch. I'll give it, I'll give it to you, twister. I don't give a fuck. We see a clip of that and then it comes back and Erica's like, but I was not given a pizza

party. I was actually met with a lot of judgment. Dr. Ding goes, you didn't get a pizza party because your divorce wasn't clean. And then we see clips of that and she goes, and it was also lexapro and alcohol. And she goes, well, I guess that's not the best combination. And she goes, yeah it was also Lexapro and alcohol. And she goes, Well, I guess that's not the best combination. She goes, Yeah, that's not pizza party behavior. Maybe it's definitely one of my favorite all time Erica scenes. This almost beats the one where she went to the fucking book

place when she was selling her book and showed up in her sunglasses. I was dying at that one too. But this is one of my all time favorite scenes. This is just so Erica, this whole thing. Erica's most mad that she didn't get a pizza party. So if anyone's doubting that Erica doesn't have mommy issues, here it is. Jared Liesveld I know. Really. She's like, I mean, I didn't get a pizza party. She goes, well, maybe at some point there is a pizza party with these women

where they are able to acknowledge the shit that you took and you can further acknowledge the shit that you gave that you shouldn't have, okay. Maybe they can come over when we redo the house. What about that? And she goes, oh yes, you should do a pizza party. God damn it, you're really trying me bitch Okay. Well, I'll be on call for you that night

That will be fun when they order 12 pizzas and no one touches a single slice I'll go over there so now it's finally time for Kyle's Deniman diamonds party. And, uh, it's all being set up. There's the famous mini horse, et cetera. Kyle's getting her glam done. Kyle is, um, I can't stand Kyle's outfit. I have like an irrational hatred towards Kyle's outfit for this app for this party.

She's wearing like a black cowboy hat and like a black sleeveless like vests. Well, inherent. It's a vest. She's wearing a black vest. And then like she wearing black pants too. I don't know. There was something about this look that I just could not stand on Kyle. I don't know. I didn't even really notice her look to be honest. I couldn't I couldn't really disagree with you or agree with you because I just wasn't paying attention. Because I was just laughing so hard at the miniature horse because I was such a nod to Vanderpump.

And then the denims and diamonds was so Vanderpump sounding. And then how she goes, and I've got a crown too. Well, I mean, this cowboy hat is my crown. I'm like, you even need to do the crown. You are so textbook that at this point it's just fucking funny to me. You know, it's kind of cute. Like that's a sister. It's another sister. She's just always going to hate.

Yes. The cowboy hat is heavy. So so then we go to Doreen. So we got everybody while they're getting ready, basically, you know, and Erica's, you know, Erica's like, pew, pew, I've got guns. And Lya's just like, ha ha, ha ha ha. All right, you're just on minimum wage. You don't need to do a full guffaw on that one, Lya. But I don't, I don't need too much effort from you. Gee, whoa.

Lya, are you eating a slice of pizza? Not in front of me, come on, you know the rules. She's like, sorry. My friends gave it to me because they, Are you eating a slice of pizza? Not in front of me. Come on, you know the rules. She's like, sorry. My friends gave it to me because they, well, I lost my pencil and they said, it's like you divorced your pencil and they threw me a pizza party. Oh, come on. Pete Slauson Well, guess who the first person to arrive is thirsty-ass Camille. Here comes Camille on time, which is hilarious because that's new housewife behavior. I'm so embarrassed for Camille. So she comes and she's like, Oh, Kyle. Oh, hi.

How are you, Kyle? Do you need me to? I know Kyle we're separated. Kyle we're separated. You know Kyle you're separated. Yeah, you're separated because Kyle you're just separated. I hope Camille has time to say hello. That's what you need to do.

It's great seeing you. I'm looking forward to this party. Yeah. Love the diamonds in the dark. Oh yeah. Fucking party. Great night. So upsetting Kyle. So all right. Have a great night everyone. So, uh, yeah, Camille is, uh, shaking her head and doing that. Like I'm so sad for you, Kyle. She's just making that face like poor, poor crime. Like my party is like hard doing it without Mauricio, you know, for the first time. And Camille's like, yeah, Kyle, I get it. You know, cause you think they love you. And then before you know it, they're just like divorcing you fucking, fucking flight attendants, you know,

selling your house, selling your best friend, selling your tennis lover, your tennis pro lover, you know, all that stuff just that's embarrassing you. I don't even own D anymore, Kyle. Do you know how embarrassing that is? And Kyle's like, um, I think she's projecting because like I have an amazing divorce and Camille's a pathetic divorce.

So, Kyle's even competing to have the best divorce. She is competing because Camille is like, she's like, Oh my God, like isn't it so funny? Because because Kyle's saying that Marissa is often a bachelor pad having fun. And she goes, wow, they like don't even have to deal with the day to day. It's like a party for them. You know, midlife crisis, fun girls, blah, blah, blah. And Kyle's like, no, not really with my divorce.

Sorry, my divorce is not like that. I'm like, yeah, it's because you're the one who had the midlife crisis, Kyle, not Mauricio. Kyle Larson Yeah, you're both the ones with young girls at this point, you know. So I think that's something for a good couple, you know, like Kyle and Mauricio. I still think Kyle and Mauricio are a great couple. I do hope that they get back together because I think they're a good couple, you know, like Kyle and Mauricio. I still think Kyle and Mauricio are a great couple. And I do hope that they get back together because I think they're a good couple, damn it.

And I still see them occasionally, even when they're together now, I think they're a great couple. So whatever, I don't care what anybody says about that. I hope that they get back together because I think it says something for people who they're so close that they even go through their midlife crisis at the same time

and both start fucking young girls. Yeah. Listen, if they were gay, they'd be doing it together. You know, it's just straight people have all these stupid walls up that they can't live like us and they won't do it together. But if this was gay, we'd be like, this is the best gay relationship ever. Look at them out there banging young people together. I mean, what a dream.

What a dream. But yeah, I still think it's hilarious that Kyle is, as you said, competing with Camille about her divorce. It's just, man's going better. It's so Kyle. Man's going better. Pretty cute. Yeah.

So then more people show up. Is it weird that I'm starting to find Kyle cute because she's just so ridiculously herself? It's weird, right? I'm like actually enjoying her this season. When normally she makes, she triggers me. I'm actually enjoying her cause she's just such a, she's just such a caricature of herself at this point that I'm dying laughing every time. Cause this is pretty fun. She can't get out of her own way.

It's so good. So then we see all the headlines about Mauricio, even though Kyle is denying it, we see all the headlines of Mauricio banging young people. And then Trixie Monical is brought in for her new hit. Cowgirl, cowgirl, come on, we gonna ride. Put your saddle on the horse. Yeah, we sitting high moving in the city. Yeah, we gonna bring the vibes, having fun in the sun. Trixie, that is too many lyrics. And now you know this isn't the real Trixie Monical

because Trixie would have just said, I'm a cowgirl, bitch, I'm a cow girl. Yeah, this was- Repeat. This is not someone brought in like Kelly Pickler or something to do her, like it's not right. This is folksy Monagle, folksy, folksy fake-a-call. Yeah, I would say so.

So Garcelle shows up, she's like, oh, there's a little pony, look. And Cal's like, oh yeah, oh my God, you look gorgeous. And just, you know, there's a place over there to get tattoos and like, the guy there is like, apparently very, very cute. And she's like, oh no. Why are we doing this again at another party in LA?

Stop doing that to people. People should not have to be permanently scarred from coming to your party. They did this on the Valley too. Stop. What a weird thing to make people do. I mean, I know you're not making them, but you kind of are. There's peer pressure. Stop. I don't want to have to remember your stupid diamonds and rosé party for the rest of my life. Pete I know. That's the thing too, is like when people ask, where'd you get that tattoo, you have to say, well, I was at a, I was at a diamond's and a denim and diamonds party at Kyle Richards house and the tattoo artists there. So I got the tattoo. I don't know.

I feel like it kind of devalues the tattoo. I feel like there should be a story about how you thought about it forever. And then you like had like went, you drew up plans for what it was going to look like. And then you went to the tattoo parlor or in the flip side, I got wasted and went to a tattoo parlor. But I just feel like the origin story is that there was a free tattoo artist at Kyle Richards, Deniman Diamond's party is just like the least fascinating way to get a tattoo. It totally is. Like, where'd you get that? Oh, it was, you know, Kyle's party.

There was a ripoff horse there. Camille tried to fight with someone. You know, Kyle was pretty sad. there, Camille tried to fight with someone. You know, Kyle was pretty sad. Great story, Ronnie. Love the tramp stamp. So the people are arriving, you know, and Sutton's brought Porter. So I'm really hoping that Porter makes a splash because Porter looks like she's been kidnapped

every time she's with Sutton. She looks like she's always, her eyes are always darting towards the door. Like, can I run? Can I run? Like, is there a bracelet on your ankle? What is Sutton doing to you? Run Porter, you look terrified. I know. And then Jennifer Chilly is there and she's like, I want to do a picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, picture. Okay, I have to make myself look skinny. Okay, do it again. Do it again. People always say to me, why are you, what are you wearing to the party?

And I always say, don't go by me because I'm going to be egregiously overdressed. When you have so much money, you don't know what to do with it. You just buy the most expensive dress that you can find. Life is short. I have a fabulous jewelry, I have fabulous clothes. And if I want to wear my fabulous jewelry and clothes to the local Starbucks, so be it. Huh, huh. Uh.

Uh. Your, uh, Jennifer Tilly is very good, by the way. It sounded pretty good. I was really, I was really practicing. I'm enjoying it. You can tell that you did something, and it sounds great. Well, I feel like I wasn't, well, I, sometimes I have, it takes a moment,

like I was, the past few weeks I was like practicing it, but then when it came time for the podcast, I was like, hello, I'm Jennifer Tilly. I was like, what happened? But I finally locked it in, and I have to say, like, your Jennifer Tilly is amazing, and, you know... Your's really sounds like her, though. I'm just making up my own stupid thing.

No, yours... You really do sound... Yours is Jennifer Tilly, too. Because her accent's crazy, because it's, like, English, but also old Hollywood, but also then high, then low. It's like crazy what she's got going on. She like rounds all her words.

No, you're so excellent, Ronnie. Don't be, don't, you're- Well, I'm certainly having fun, but you can tell you've been working on it. It's very good. Okay, we've been kind of last night, but it's great. Okay, so then- That's like congratulating ourselves. Yeah, just stop talking.

Okay, guys. Hey, let's go on coffee break, Ben. Oh my God, Ben, I was so proud of you today. Okay, so let's go to, let's go to Eric and- Wish my mouse could be here to see it. Your mouse, I know. I'm telling you, Apple charges $9 million,

but if you don't buy their products, they really fuck you. Because I've done that where I'm like, I'm gonna get the off-brand thing that looks like a magic track pad, but it's not that. No, it won't work. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls.

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Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of the Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Okay, so then anyway, Eric and Dorit come, they try and convince us that they're this wacky, hilarious friend couple. I'm not really buying it.

And I feel really bad for Erika. I feel like Erika losing Rinna has been hard and she needs someone that she can have fun with like Rinna cause Dorit ain't it. I don't think Erika even really likes Dorit. So I'm hoping she finds somebody soon. Dorit shows up dressed like a park ranger, like a haute couture park ranger.

I thought she was gonna give out tickets for entering Yellowstone. She was, I mean, I'm sure people will be like, what, how could you say that? That was LV, that was YSL. I don't care. I don't care. It was pretty cute. I loved the, um, like kind of nod to chaps or whatever it was doing.

Yeah. It was pretty cute. It was like it being cute is separate from the fact that she still looked to me like a park ranger. Are your kids smoking in the first? You can stop sparrows fires, PK. So no more sleeping? Are you making s'mores? That was PK's wedding vows to me. S'more, s'more, s'more.

Do you promise me s'more? Do you promise me s'more? Basically I didn't even have to put a ring on his finger. I had to put an onion ring on his finger. Then he ate it off. I said, what kind of commitment is this? Children, do not make forest fires. Like, wow, she's a... I said, P.K., you cannot eat any more of those flaming hot Cheetos.

We have a forest fire prevention program here. Ha ha ha. Okay, so, um, Kyle and Drew greet each other. Bo's fire prevention program here. Okay. So, um, Kyle and I greet each other. Everybody's saying hi. Everybody comes there. Bo shows up and I was like, Oh my God, I can't believe you traveled so much. That's crazy.

And she's like, yeah, Lail and I were just in Brazil to celebrate our 15th birthday. I've trademarked Brazil, everybody. Don't try to name your country that cuz I'm way ahead of you I've already sent a cease and desist of Donna Brazil too close Brazil nuts is more now called peanut number two. I don't give a shit, but I own it. So good luck And enjoy getting your newly branded down there waxes. So. So Bo says every year I take her,

take my daughter away to a destination in the world, wherever she wants to go. But she has the first, she presents an idea. And then we see her daughter literally standing, presenting like a thesis. She's like doing her oral presentation with like slides and a PowerPoint on where she's gonna go. And she's like, hmm, you have to speak up, speak up.

Okay, I'm not interested. Next slide, please. Next slide. This was so funny because her poor kid's like, I want to go all over the continents. Louder. I want to see the whole world. What world?

Our world? Good enough, next slide. I can to see the whole world. What world? Our world? Good enough, next slide. I can't take it anymore. Can we get her some charisma, please? So, you know, Boze is admiring Dorit's outfit and everything. And, you know, that's all nice. And then there's a, then Sutton's talking to Boze and Sutton's like, oh wow, look,

hey, I'm going to go watch Garcelle get her tattoo. And Bo's like, ooh, Garcelle, you're getting a tattoo? What are you getting? She's like, one, one, one, one, my favorite numbers. And if you say it backwards, it sort of sounds like no, no, no, no. It's so funny, those are her favorite numbers. I mean, I guess they're angel numbers we find out later.

But I was like, why are you putting every parent's security code to the alarm system in their house? I'm getting a tattoo of how I rate Kyle's performance in any movie I've seen her. One, one, one, one. So they're talking about like how wacky it is to get tattoos and Bose is like I'm thinking about something to get and Garcello Goes I know what you should get Badass bitch. I'm like you're off the voting committee. That was terrible. Can we get Leland in here? You you give it a try

Kyle, I hope you don't mind. I brought a slide projector. We're going to do a presentation for my tattoo. Just give me one moment. You're making my kid almost look good at this. So Garcelle goes up to the tattoo artist and is like, I'm thinking about doing one, one, one, one. I don't know where. So he's like, I'll help you. So another person employed by the housewife gay economy.

Thank you, housewives. So they talk about this and sounds like, wait a minute, one, one, one, one, that is the devil's numbers. And they're like, no, it's not. And Kathy goes, oh, that's 666. Thank you, Kathy. So some psychologists, as we all know, I'm not getting 666. I'm getting one, one, one. No, I wouldn't get 666 anyway. I'd get no, no, no, which is 999, which is 666.

No, in German. Sorry. bungled that. Okay, so, so, so, Garcelle and Sutton start gossiping and Garcelle's like, well, I guess I've burned through my story line, so, did I mention the PK robbing his own house? Okay. So, listen, I didn't tell you

this, but I don't really, she does that thing where she raises one eyebrow, like her days of our lives. She's got a lot of days of our lives effects. So she does her John Black. God, an RIP John Black. But she raises her one eyebrow and she's like, which it's not really raising as much as usual because I just got Botox, can you tell?

So she's like, wow, I had a really heartfelt talk with Kyle and I felt like we were on the surface. So we finally went deeper and I said to her, I would like to go deeper. And she said, okay. And I said, did you know that I cried when I saw that I'm the executive producer on black girl missing too. My mom would be so proud. And then Kyle said that PK is texting her and insinuated that PK wants to fuck her.

What do you think of that? I feel terrible for Kyle. And basically Garcelle's like, she's like, you know, I would have a problem with that. My possible ex-husband is texting my girlfriend and son's like, oh, well, Kyle told me that Dorit knows that they talk. I mean, come on, son, trying to have a scene here. Come on, let's get some, let's get some momentum going on here. Can we get this feud going? Come on. Sutton would not do it.

She was like, uh-uh, I'm not pissed enough, Kyle. Nope. Nope. No, man. But I wonder if Dorit knows the, the, what that communication is like, because Kyle tells Garcelle or told Garcelle, Oh, PK texts me. But what Kyle did not tell Garcelle is that she also initiates. And I wonder if that's what to read. Like, I wonder if to read is aware of that, that that Kyle's an initiator as well in the banter.

Um, yeah, I, I don't know. I think that Duret probably wouldn't care. I don't really think. I mean, I guess we'll find out. I doubt that Duret really cares. It's just that Kyle is spreading it in a way. She's spreading it to Garcelle on purpose because she knows Garcelle is going to try and use it as ammunition against Duret. And I think that's just so shady of Kyle. And we talked about it last week when she first did it about, you know, Kyle probably mad and taking revenge that everybody loves Dorit. The internet was saying that Dorit and Mauricio

were probably hooking up. So now she needs to make it look like PK is really attracted to her just to get back at Dorit. And I still do believe that, but I don't think Dorit would give a shit about any of this. I mean, of course, PK is gonna text any pretty woman that he can. Especially, and they're all friends, so I don't know. Did I answer your question? I forgot what we were talking about.

I think so. So Garcelle's like, and I've always known that P.K. and Dorit and Kyle and Moe would hang out. I know Kyle thinks P.K.'s so funny, you know, but once that dynamic shifted between Dorit and P.K., that should stop. And that's, you know, but once that dynamic shifted between Dorit and P.K., that should stop. And that's what I have to say about that as I await my new film, Black Girl Missing, Part 2. Wow. Wow.

Ow. Ow. And coming- That's a tattoo. That's a tattoo I'm getting. Coming soon to a television near you black girl missing part three colon That's no No comma that should stop Sorry, I'm bungling a lot of them today. What can I say? No, no, no, okay, so then we go to Porter and she has a sip of her drink.

She's like, whoa, this taste of tequila just startled me. And that was when Porter's one line of the episode. And I was just like, run Porter, poor thing. Go to a land where you're allowed to drink margaritas freely without mommy judging you. And then Kyle Richards ran up behind Porter and stuck her fangs into her and said, I'm just trying to suck out our youth. Give it to me, Porter. Give it to me. So Boze comes to sit with Eric and to read and they start talking about Sutton

raising her voice to me, the sprinter. talking about Sutton raising her voice to me, the sprinter. Sutton and I have known each other for a few years now, and we've never settled into a friendship where it's consistent. You know, I mean, we like each other. And Erica's like, yeah, it's good that she slips out, which Erica would know nothing about, you know? Thank God. Yeah, exactly.

So Boze is like, well, I have a thought. Do we need to call a tribal council because I have a portable display for some PowerPoint or if it makes you more comfortable, we can merely use keynote. Anyway, bring everyone together. Do we need that? I worked in corporate America. We can do this Netflix hashtag. Hashtag behind it, because that's what I do. I do. I do my hashtag after the word. I created the diamonds.

And so I was like, okay, y'all guys, I have to make a speech. A ding, a ding, a ding. And I was like, Oh God, because it was like all of a sudden, you know, and both in the after show was like, what is this lady like, house mother of a fucking sorority? Like, what is she trying to do? And that is what she's doing. She's trying to control everybody through like mama, mamaing them. Then girl, you are nobody's mother. You are so, well, I was going to say, you're probably like a lot of Southern mothers. You're neurotic, you're pill popping and you're drunk. But then I was like, well, that mothered me and it's, I'm happy. So,

and we're all happy for it too. Trust us. So, So, and we're all happy to trust us. So, son's like, I feel like we are all talking behind each other's backs. I don't know where I got that sense. Probably when I was hanging out with Jennifer Tilly and Kyle talking about Dorit at her house. Anyway, I just really want us to feel free and open and honest with one another. Well, I appreciate this sisterhood moment, I really do. And I think it's sincere.

But the one thing I would like to say to you is, where the fuck is my pizza? I've just been sitting here for four years waiting for pizza. Chuck E. Sleaze is what I call him. Everybody else gets a pizza besides me. Fuck you, Chuck E. Avoid the Nord. I'd get down on my knees and give the Nord

the best night of his life if I meant I could get a slice of pizza already. She goes, well, if we're going to be open and honest, which by the way, can we just retire that phrase? It's the dumbest phrase of all time. Thanks, Kyle. Kyle invented that phrase hashtag. Disrupt her hashtag. As long as I'm being open and honest, you're volatile. Sutton and Jennifer Dilley goes, I don't think she meant that as a compliment. I think she meant it as a put-down, but I do think it's a good description of Saturn.

And Erica? To Erica's credit. Jennifer Dilley slowly figuring things out as her sentence goes along, she just keeps discovering new things about what's happening in the world. Yeah, you know, it's bad when your friend who has a doll drinking wine in her living room is calling you volatile. But Erica, to her credit, Erica says it very calmly and in the tone of open and honest, like, I think you're volatile. And to prove that she's not volatile, Sudden goes, no, I'm truthful.

And I'm just calling something out. I'm not. Way to go. She does get that. She does turn into angry drunk mom in the car. I'm pulling this car over. She's like taking the wooden spoon out of her glove compartment and just swinging in the backseat like my mom used to trying to hit anything that she could. The kids are crawling over the way back to get the very back of the fucking station wagon to stay away from that wooden spoon.

And then Dorit's like, please don't raise your voice Sutton, I am not in a place where I appreciate that. And a strong reaction when you did it last time. So please enter that. I just would like to finish by saying G and so Do you know how many times that I have not appreciated where people are yelling me in this group? And her she's doing that thing where her eyes turn into slits and they're kind of crossed. I mean, she gets so angry so fast. She's like, let, I want us all to be open and honest, but if you have anything open and honest to say to me, just keep it in your pie hole because I don't want to hear it.

Yeah. So, um, Eric was like, well, have you thought about what you say to get them to yell? And she goes, oh wait, hang on, hang on. Then I will talk in a soft voice for you. Annabelle turns to Jennifer, chilling, and goes, "'Mommy, I'm scared.'" Just talk normal. Just don't raise your voice. I'll talk normal for you. Please, Sutton, talk normal.

Just normal voice with a slightly British accent that can't be explained. Come on. How's this for normal? Well, if you can't be open and honest, you can't lead the charge, can you? Dreat! Sometimes you don't listen." And Erica's like, oh, God, but that's been 10 years.

She's not going to start listening now. She really watched. I love how Erica just completely jumps off the Dorit boat immediately. She's never gonna listen. And Garth's like, well, we've been trying to get Dorit to shut up for years. I mean, talk about leading the charge. That's like Dorit with a credit card. No, thank you.

I was laughing so hard at this scene. This was so fucking funny. And so Krauss was like, okay, well, what's the point point that you want me then? Seddon, what's weighing on you? A point is that we need to be honest. And Erica goes, leave my example. I'm trying to. No, you're not. Yeah, you're not.

You're talking to talk, but you're not walking to walk. Talky talky walky walky. Do you talk as you walk? Do you walk talks? Do you talk walks? What is this? I am trying to direct our ears.

Like she is so possessed when she draws her like calm voice. I am calm Sutton Strack. Okay, here we go. I am going to speak in harsh tones to help you. This is not genuine. This is not. This is. This is. Says the lady, this is not genuine.

Says the lady with a pan-European accent. This is not kind and this is not real. And only you can prevent virus fires. Don't forget. And Sun's like, it's as real as it gets. It's like, is it, is it really real? Is this the real real? And Erica's like, oh baby, no, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you what's real.

Eden talk about it too in the morning because he just tried to jerk off to the memory of the time you saw army hammer once naked. That's real. Something through a surprise pajama party, pizza party, something through a surprise pajama party, pizza party, something through a surprise pajama pizza party. at the pizza party. Sudden truth surprise, pizza party. Ah, triggered. No.

It's like Beetlejuice. You say the phrase three times and Erica, literally. Erica's head turns off. She turns her, she turns her house into Beetlejuice. It's Beetlejuice themed. Worms start coming out of her ears. Bye, ow. Can't even hit that note.

Okay, so let me concentrate because I'm just giggling at the stupid scene, okay So then I'm like listen you're angry and you're not angry with me you're angry at your own life and everyone goes ooh and post goes oh No, and so she goesauze goes, oh no. And so she goes, Derry goes, ladies and gentlemen, meet Sutton Strack, the woman, Sutton, I'm sorry, Sutton Strack, the woman who loves to support women at the lowest. Don't take it out on me. Don't take it out on me. I am not in a good place.

I agree. I'm currently in an awful party wearing denim dressed like a park ranger while Karl here is dressed like she's in a 1992 Victoria Secret catalog in the non-laundry section. And Karl's like, Sutton, I mean, too low. Low blow, low blow. I mean, I completely agree with you, but I wouldn't say it. Okay, don't say shit that you're gonna regret. I don't know, things like, I don't need a pizza party.

And so it's like, I'm not. She goes, no, well, you've been wanting to say that, haven't you? Listen, you're not wrong. And she goes, I know I'm not wrong, but you actually came to me saying, I really am wrong, am I? She goes, you know what?

Really? Really? I am being honest and open and truthful and transparent. How about that for a remix? My life sucks right now. That now the read set that point where she likes to punctuate her senses by like, she's like, she's like, packing it in with her with her head. She has sex right now. And I'm not in a good place at all. And I have zero tolerance for more bullshit. And it's as simple as that. How is that for transparent and honest and open?

Great. Well, what else do you want from me? And sounds like, Dreat, I'm not angry with you. I raised my voice in the sprint because you were not listening. It's understanding the bigger part. I was like, is it sprinkling on a tin roof? What are you talking about? It was not about you. It's about all of us being able to talk and understand

that when we're having a moment that we can still be friends afterwards, especially if you don't say I'm volatile. And she's like, well, I understand that. And Boz goes, you know what, she goes, you know what, can I say something here? We also can't weaponize in moments of vulnerability hashtag. And so it's like, wait, who's weaponizing you? She goes, when? She goes, now, when you said I'm not angry with you, you're not angry with your life, that's weaponizing. And Erica's like, yeah, that was low, which I don't really think it was.

It was not weaponizing. I mean, it was Sutton being immature. I mean, it was Sutton trying to turn the situation around, but I don't think she said anything particularly mean. And Boze was like, you know, you take a horrible situation, I mean, this is happening in somebody's life, and you turn it back around, you was like, you know, you take a horrible situation. I mean, this is happening in somebody's life and you turn it back around, you sharpen it, you stick them with it. Ooh, that's war.

Absolutely out of bounds. Out of bounds. Hashtag. Actually, it's literally the most in bounds it could be. This is Real Housewives. So, Boz. But it is, yeah, it is Housewives, but it is what Sutton generally does.

So she, she acts like she's there for you. And then she'd like takes it. She does take it and twist it and then stabs you with it. She's like, so you think your reports isn't gonna be bad? Well, it is, let me tell you, but I'm just here to help you. You know, it's like, she can't really help. It's kind of like a Vanderpump thing. Um, and I'm not saying she's like Vanderpump,

but this quality is similar where it's like she needs the broken bird. If you're not broken, she can't help you. So if you're not broken, she'll help break you. So Camille's like, hi, I'm sorry, I'm going to butt in right now. But years ago, my house burned down. I lost my house. I lost my assistant of many, many years.

And I didn't get a lot of compassion or empathy from some people, especially to read. And Doreed's like, honey, you are a total seaward to me. You are fitness to me. Whoa, damn. I guess, oh my God, where did that come from? Right out the gate, Doreen. And Sutton's like, Doreen, must we use the C word, even though you're a B and one? Let's not use it. Well, you were a total cut fitness to me.

You know why? And C'mon goes, you called me a fucking cut fitness. No, I called you a stupid cut fitness. Not a fucking cut fitness. Wow. Wow. Wow. No. Wow. Wow.

No. Wow. No. Wow. Wow. Wow. Someone slapped her on the back of the back. One, one, one, one. We see a flashback to that dinner where Dreek goes, Camille, you're a stupid cut fitness.

I said you're a so back to present. She goes, I said you're a stupid cut fitness as a joke. You knew it. You always knew it. No, not at the time. You didn't know it. No, I didn't really know at the time. It's just like, no, you used, no, you just used it because you needed a moment. You always need a moment. And Dorit tells us, once upon a time, I've regretted calling Camille a cut fitness. Now I feel like Camille is a stupid cut fitness.

So she's like, you just needed a moment. You always need a moment. You're just digging, digging, bully, bully, dig bully. Little jobs, little jobs, little jobs, digging bully, little jobs, little jobs, moment jobs, moment jobs, moment jobs, moment jobs, moment jobs, moment jobs, moment jobs, moment, moment, gee, gee, gee, pick eyes.

You know the person that takes selfies all the time, they have to wait for hours for you to show up to events because you're always taking photoshoots. Good one, Kyle. I'm glad Kyle. By the way, Camille, when you come tonight, can you please say this to Dorit? Thanks so much. Yeah. I know you can tell everything that Kyle's been bitching about. So Sutton just nods and says, well, and Dorit goes, and? Well, but you put them on hold. Who's them? Your friends. You put your friends

on hold. What are you even doing here? Do you need a moment? Are you out of moments? Have your moments left you? Welcome. Can somebody bring Camille a moment? You're still condescending and that's my point. You've always been condescending to me since day one. I did feel bad for you the first day I met you when you came to my house when it was still standing with her. And then, um, she points to Erica and Erica's like, my name is Erica. Her. She couldn't remember Erica's name. Erica. The name is Erica pizza party girl. The one thing everybody wants to get a pizza with a name on it.

And Erica just looks at the cat and her confessional, she looks at us and just goes, cut fitness. Well, you're a different person now, Dory. I don't know what happened to you, but you're changed. What you just said that she's always been the same condescending person and now she's different. I mean, Camille's not doing great at this. And Erica's like, Camille, you know what she's going through. And she's like, well, I feel bad because I went through a lot too. Does anyone want to take

this moment to feel bad for what I went through when I lost my house and my assistant? Yeah. And Erica's like, well, we've all gone through a lot, which is funny because earlier this episode, Erica's like, now why doesn't anyone tell me, why doesn't anyone apologize for what they put me through? And now she's saying to someone else, well, we've all gone through a lot. So it's funny, funny how she wants to, she wants to basically do what Camille's doing right now,

but then she's totally dismissing Camille at the same time. Yeah. So yeah, so then Camille's like, no one feels bad for me. And I went, I went to hell and back, hell and back. And I was like, we've all gone through a lot, not a competition, but hell hell and back though. And so I'm like, well, really. And I meant what I said, I will always be there for you when you need it. Thank you.

Not you. Why are you here? Wait a minute, Doreen. But, um, listen, you know, um, when you need me, I'm going to be here. I'm going to be, I'm going to be here. Wait a minute, Dereet. But listen, you know, when you need me, I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here. Okay. You might as well get Pokey on my side because I'm going to be here. And Dereet's like- I would walk 500 miles to be there for you. Yes.

Was that Gumby's friend? Was it Pokey? What was Gumby's friend's name? Yes. Okay. Gumby and Pokey and there was another one, but the other one lacked charisma. Yeah. So then, by the way, nevermind. I was going to get dark. I'm not going to. Okay. So then Tariq was like,

well, I would love to believe that Sutton, Sutton, the actions are going to speak louder than words. I think I speak for the audience when we say, what was going to get dark from Gumby and Pokey? LAUGHS It's like, Gumby's best friend's Pokey, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm going to get dark. Never mind. LAUGHS

It was taking me down a spiral of other things, you know? You know how my brain works. It's like one big pin up board with yarn running from one pin to another. So it went from Gumby and Pokey really quick to other things, other dark, dark things. So Dereed's like, I don't think something gives one fuck about me what I'm going through.

I think something cares more about looking sincere and empathetic. More than being sincere and empathetic. It's more than being sincere and empathetic. As you say empathetic, I say empathetic. Who's correct? Tomato Timiti. Guys, everyone can work on their actions and their delivery and not holding onto a grudge. I was like, I know Kyle Richards.

Oh, Patoochie patati. Meanwhile, you know, got to Kyle Richards not talking to her sister for three years. No kidding, right? Kyle, it's a wonderful party. Thank you for inviting us all. Ha ha ha ha. Kyle not holding a grudge.

You're literally calling your party, Denim and Diamonds, and half a mini pony. I can't, this show is so goofy and so funny. I think it was very much back in its top form last night I was cracking very most of this episode really really sorry, and it's really not people trying to be funny It's just people being just ridiculous people being themselves. I mean the whole Erica being upset About the pizza party killed me.

Oh my goodness. That was amazing. Who knew that she had such a craving for pizza, but I guess she's human. Yeah. Well, you just, it's the pizza party, you know? All right, everybody, go have some pizza. We sure love you guys. We'll be back tomorrow probably or later today, who knows, with Real Housewives of New York. Then we've got Salt Lake City. We've got Southern Charm. We've got tickets available for the Mounting Astoria Tour.

Texas dates and Charlotte dates. Links coming very soon. And we will talk to you guys next time. We'll see you later. Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends. Would like to thank its premium sponsors!

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