Watch What Crappens - #2660 RHONY S15E012: A Visit to Old San Yawn

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

The Real Housewives of New York City slogs through its latest vacay episode, trading in the fun squabbles and conflict of last week for… dick pics?  It’s a regrettable step backwards for the show, the franchise, and Bravo as the cast attempts to drum up any kind of excitement. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch for Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkerb. Joining me today, the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello Ben. I'm great.

How are you? I'm hello, Ben, I'm great. How are you? I'm fantastic. Very excited today. We are recapping Real Housewives of New York, but more excitingly, which is literally anything in the world. We just got our links. We just got our links for Texas,

our Texas shows and our Charlotte shows. So as soon as we're done doing this recap, I'm gonna copy and paste them and put them on our website so you can get your tickets to go see these shows. Here is the, here's the update. This is the schedule. Okay. There's going to be an artist pre-sale on Thursday, December 19th. That's going to be at 10 AM local. Um, and you can use a code that we will have on Patreon. Um, and you can use a code that we will have on Patreon.

Um, and then, uh, there, then it goes on sale for everyone. The tickets, this is for Charlotte, uh, on Friday at 10 AM, Friday, December 20th. Um, and same deal with Austin, same deal with Dallas. So the key dates here is get, get your first dibs on tickets, Thursday, December 19th, and then public on sale on Friday. The links, I'm putting them up as soon as we're done here.

Really excited. Also help us out with the crappies. We are formulating the ballot. But by this point, the story asking for suggestions is going to probably be gone, but we will get a post up on Instagram and leave comments with your favorite moments of the year, your favorite fights, your favorite quotes. Is there anything else, Ronnie, that we should have people, what we should crowdsource from

the people on this? Oh, we will. We'll be adding some stuff up in the next few days for sure. Yeah, but those are the things that we need the most help with is jogging our memory on that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah. So just whatever you, whatever is the most fun. Cause you know, we delete shit from our brains,

our DVRs in our brains as these seasons end. So of course everybody's giving us the quote, high body count here. Of course that's, and of course, of course it's going to be on there. It was a great quote, but it's the most recent. So think back, think back to what was on last January. And let's, let's start going from there, guys. So maybe we should do like a big list of all the shows that have aired on Bravo and put that on Instagram and be like, here you go. Yeah, I think we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

we'll figure something out. We're going be fun. We're gonna do a lot more if you guys being involved in this. So anyway, just check our social Instagram, watch what crap is.com. We'll leave stuff up there. Also, this is on video today on Crap and It's On Demand on Patreon. It's also where you can listen to our bonus episodes

of Sold on SLC, which is what we're covering right now. Exclusively. So good. The first episode we're gonna re-release on the main feed next week at Christmas, just so people can get to taste. And then if you want it, come over and listen to it over on Patreon. And I think that's it for now, right Ben?

It feels good, feels good. Why don't we dive into New York last week? We're alive right now. This is a live podcast. Last week, last week, I started the episode with a bold proclamation that I really enjoyed last week's episode of Real Housewives of New York. And I am proud to announce that the streak continues as in the streak of boring episodes has continued and it resumed this week.

Back to hating it. What I mean, what are they doing to us? Let me tell you, you know, it's still a Housewives show, so I still have my base enjoyment of it. You know what I mean? Like I'm still like glad I'm not doing nothing. So that's good. And there are things that I enjoy no matter what. You know, at this point,

I've just sort of given myself over to Bravo and it doesn't matter whether I enjoy it or not We're here and so I enjoy doing this no matter what's going on, right? So whatever like some are good summer bad. This one's particularly bad, but I'm still enjoying some of it you know, and so that was enough for me it was like enough and That's all I can say. I will say that this is one of those ones And that's all I can say. I will say that this is one of those ones, Beverly Hills I watch every minute of,

Salt Lake City I watch, Potomac I watch. This one I scroll, it's a scroll show. The real estate ones on Bravo I scroll. Like I'll watch Million Dollar Listing, but I'm scrolling, you know? And this is a scroll show. So parts of it, I might be a little fuzzy because, you know, girl, I was scrolling.

And if anybody is scrolling currently in this day and age, you know that this world is completely fucked. So, um, it's like going between the bat shit crazy news and what they're talking about on this show. And it was a little jarring, but, um, you know, let's get through it. Yeah. It's just sad because Roni was a jewel in the crown and now it's a scroll show, but you know what it is, what it is, and hopefully we will move onwards and

upwards. So we are still in Puerto Rico. We're at dinner. And Rebecca has just told Brian that she's a bully. Basically you've been a bully ever since I met you. Like I am literally having diarrhea because of how much you're bullying me. And Brin's like, Oh, you want to call me a bully? I don't bully people. I'm just a little girl, little girls can't bully. Sexy baby.

And she's like, you have been rude ever since the moment that we met, Brim. And Rebecca really does, like does that squint's finally paying off? Because when we first saw the squint on Rebecca, we were like, why is she pretending she's so nice? That squint is not a nice person squint. That person is a reading squint. You know, it's a judgy squint and not to say that judgy people can't be nice,

but that's just to say there's a strong line of judge in there and it came out today and I, and I enjoyed it. Strong line of judge. No, the moment I saw her squinty, her squinty eye, I was like, Oh, I love her. I love her because there was so much judgment. Like if you can have so much judgment without even saying words, it's like an automatic win in my book. And like you said, it's like, we've been like, like she's been soaking it all in.

And finally the lasers came out of the squints and she's like, Oh, Brian, you're a bully. So, and the girls got mad at her because not mad, but they were like a little disappointed. It seemed like because they wanted her to really be a housewife, like half her bitch moment, tell off Brynn. And they felt like she was being a little too lukewarm. I thought she was perfect because she really put Brynn in her place in a way

that was like, you're a bad little girl and I don't care enough about you to yell at you. And I'm still not gonna yell at you. And I'll even apologize to you if you want me to, because you're that stupid. Yeah, and honestly. It was embarrassing. Like by the end of this episode, I was not only scrolling on my phone,

but I was just like so embarrassed for Ren. Like I was mortified. I was like, this girl tried it and she's not only failing, she's just looking childish now. This girl's just making her look stupid, you know? But also I was like, you know, so, you know, I'll get into this in a second, I'm going to hold my point for a moment. But the point is that Rebecca basically like has Brynn and Brynn is like, you know you know what like Jessel is trying to have a baby girl with her husband and I'm like freezing my eggs like crying every night and then like

You know who was trying to get like knocked up for like a few months and you're like sitting around saying people like me like oh Rebecca's like mmm squint. They don't really have anything to do with it squint squint pew pew and Brin's like oh, yeah, like one day you'll know how it's like to have children like you don't really have anything to do with it. Squint, squint, pew, pew. And Brynn's like, oh yeah, like one day you'll know how it's like to have children. Like you don't know now, like when you have children, like don't majorize me, you know? Motherhood. Oh God, Brynn, shut up.

Okay, let me make this very easy for you. There's things you don't understand about being a giraffe because you're not a giraffe. So you don't know what it's like when someone's like, oh my God, the leaves at the top of the tree are the hardest to eat. You don't understand it because you're not eating the leaves at the top of the trees. You are not a giraffe, okay?

I'm sorry, you can't just have somebody feel for you and you don't get to pretend to be a giraffe and get everybody to pretend along with you. It's not how it works, okay? You are not a mother and you don't get to pretend to be a giraffe and get everybody to pretend along with you. It's not how it works, okay? You are not a mother and you don't fucking understand, period. Go cry somewhere else, you fucking baby. You don't understand what it's like to be a mother, but you do understand what it's like to be a child.

That's for sure. Then let me tell you something. This is coming from two queens here who cannot stand when people are like talking about like, well, as a mother, as a mother, it's like our least favorite thing. And we don't like it when people say, like, I don't like it when people are like, are you going to have a baby? You're going to have a baby. I'm like, I'm not going to have a baby. I'm not going to have a baby. Okay. So I get all that. But I still say that now.

Okay. So I get all that, but I still say that now, but I still say that Rebecca Minkoff has children crawling all over her bed and she just wants some peace and quiet and I can concede that I can concede that. Yeah, we have to, you know, look, I don't want, I don't want kids. And I don't love people using that. Well, I'm a mother now, so I get everything that you don't understand. Like I don't even like kids that. Well, I'm a mother now, so I get everything that you don't understand. Like I don't even like kids getting to go onto the plane before me. I'm like, is that a handicap now being a child?

No, get in the fucking line like everybody else. I had to buy the early bird to get my seating group A and now you get to, did you serve in the military? You're a fucking one, okay? You're one year old. Do you have a purple heart? Get in the fucking back of the line. Your mother didn't earn, your mother earned you, guess what one year old you have a purple heart get in the fucking back of the line your mother didn't earn

She your mother earned you guess what your mother earned you a spot in the sea line in Southwest Okay, you you don't get to be an age just cuz you're a child. I don't even fuck that but even I'm like well shit Yeah, it's harder for her. I look at the actual mom and I'm like, okay. Yeah, I don't get what it's I don't get what that's Like that's a way harder for her My little gameboy and cry in my a15 Now I do think there are parents that use the parent card to get shit be like I just have kids that you don't understand and I'm like, you're using the parent card I don't like that

But I just think in this case I'm allowing the parent card because Brynn has been obnoxious and she was obnoxious about this whole room thing and she forced Rebecca to to to room just assigned her a roommate situation. And then she's like, why are you annoyed? And Rebecca's fine, like, because I'm a parent and I want to have some sleep because I've got four kids crawling on me. And I guess what? I just had to design a fucking handbag that looks like Elphaba's crotch for this damn TV show. So I'm tired. I am tired. And also Brynn's just starting this fight because she just wants to have a feud with

somebody. It's just like not organic. It's just annoying. And now she got her big thing where she gets to, it's like, oh, I'm really going to get everybody on my side in the audience by really bringing motherhood into it. Just you're just bad at this. Okay. It's the 20th time I've said this in the past two weeks, but you're just sucking at it.

And it's funny to watch. So then, um, she's like, don't patronize me about motherhood. And Rebecca's like the amount of attacking she's done to me. I mean, it is like, I have just been accused of terrorism by Oz himself. Okay. My purses are out now. My purses are out now. been accused of terrorism by Oz himself. Okay, my purse is a rat mouth. My purse is a rat mouth. One short day at Oz, one long day at Bloomingdale's. Get the Rebecca Minkoff Oz Wicked collection now.

Limited time only. The girl needs to take a hike up the yellow bitch road, am I right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stupid. I will tell you, this show does remind me of, this show does remind me of Wicked, mainly the part where the poppies opened up and everyone fell asleep.

So Rebecca is like, you took that like way too seriously and Brynn's like, I don't think it is seriously, like what you said was serious. This is what happens when you say things are serious, I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious.

I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious.

I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. I'm not even serious. excited to see this side of Rebecca. Maybe she just needed a little vacay. And Brynn's like, well, Contra, what am I sound like?

I actually don't wanna fight with you. Well, now you don't, cause you look stupid. Cause you just lost. You just lost this fight. So too late. And you know Brynn saying this cause the expected response is Rebecca saying, and I don't wanna fight with you too. I actually really like you.

But instead of Rebecca goes, well, then you can stop. And by the way, okay. Well I'm not coming for you. It feels like it. Well I'm moving on. Okay, well you don't get to say moving on. You're the person who ran the car into the innocent victim. You're not the one who gets to decide to move on.

That's a hit and run. You're the person. The victim gets up and walks away and says, okay, it's time to move on now. Not you. The house in Newport Beach that has a dent in it gets to say time to move on. But you know what? Also don't John's daughter almost got to say this time to move on. Yeah.

I have two different, I have two separate rants that I would like to intertwine if I can possibly act one, arch one is Brynn. You can't talk. You can't be coaching Rebecca on camera saying, come on, you gotta give it back a little bit. Spice it up. You can't be talking about all this time you're doing the prank or lean into it because you want to spice it up. You want to lean into the house, we'll have stuff you're all about this. And yet now we finally have a fight that like I personally am invested in and I

think is a good one and could be entertaining and then you just are going to be like, okay, well, we should just move on. No, we sat through a boring season. Let us have a full a full fleshed out fight. You don't get to do that defying gravity and close act one, act two. Okay, Raquel. Raquel, I'm gonna come for you a little bit here too. Okay, I, I mean, this is the last time I'm gonna do this disclaimer. Oh no, not Raquel, what'd Raquel do? This is a minor one, this really should have been act one.

But like Raquel, here's the thing. This should have been the overture. This is the act two lull, like before it gets good again. This is the M&Ms, this is the getting M&Ms in act two, intermission. But honestly, okay. I'm not going to keep doing this disclaimer about like, I think Raquel seems like a cool person. She's awesome. Like,

I like her personality. Please know going forward, any criticism of Raquel has that couch in it. I'm just sort of sick of doing that disclaimer. I don't even know why I feel like I have to do it anymore. But that being said, Raquel is kind of a dud as a housewife, if you ask me. She's nice. She has shared some very emotional moments that I have enjoyed. But like for her to come on here and be like,

Oh, I'm excited to see this side of Rebecca. Maybe she just needed a little vacay. They're all like, finally, Rebecca, you're not being boring. I'm like, have you guys held a mirror up to your faces and see what's happened on this season? Rebecca, to me, has been one of the most interesting parts of this season. And you guys are all sitting of the most interesting parts of this season and you guys are all sitting here doing pranks and being boring as fuck. So stop coming down on Rebecca when you guys are the ones who need to be doing the heavy

lifting because you guys are the full-fledged housewives. Well yeah, Rebecca, I mean, I disagree that Rebecca is bringing a lot either. I mean, I love her squint and everything, but I think it's fun to talk about her, but I don't know that any new person has added a ton. I agree about Raquel, like I really like her, but here's the difference, I think, in what you're saying, is that here's where I would disagree, is I think that Raquel has tried,

like she's tried getting in the mix. She's like, listen, I don't like that Erin took all this information and twisted it and tried to make Brynn look bad, and I'm making a stand. She did try to get on on that, but it was such a stupid fight that it ended really fast because it was very confusing. And then there was one other thing that she was willing to fight about and she tried it

and it was just another stupid fight. It was just so bad. It's like you're coming into a cast where people don't really understand how to do it. You know what I mean? It's like being the supporting cast of a bunch of non-lead characters. No one knows what they're doing on this show.

So she's trying, but she doesn't have really anything to grab onto. So I'm not gonna blame her on that. Now the other ones, yeah, you should do that. They're coming down on Rebecca. They're coming down on Rebecca for not being interesting, but like, what are you guys doing? I mean, I think some of them are trying.

I think actually Psy, I cannot believe that Psy is on the upper echelon of this cast now, because I do think that she is trying to make an effort. Aaron drives me nuts. She is making an effort to be nice though. Sai is making an effort to be nice and it's working, but it's like, well, she needs to have a balance of both, right? Because right now it's like...

But she's direct. She's direct. I don't know. It's so weird to me. You know, people say online that one of the problems with this show is that like the cast is not very authentic. And I think that unfortunately they are authentic. And I'm like, I don't know why it's just not really working. And I actually think- Because they're authentically boring. I mean, we've seen, we know tons of people like that. I know

that people say that about LA people all the time that LA people are really fake and I've bet a lot of them and they are But then you know them for a while when you do know a lot of that type for a while It's like oh they are fake, but that's who they are. That's why they're here. They're attracted to being here They're like mods that just like beat up against the light They're just stupid and they're they just want they're all exactly the same and that's all they want to be and that's all they care About being and they just care about getting into the light and it's like they're they just want they're all exactly the same. And that's all they want to be. And that's all they care about being. And they just care about getting into the light. And it's like they're idiots, but they're not fake.

That's just who they are. You know what I mean? So they're, you know, they're just not. They're authentically not interesting. It's just the cast does not have a chemistry. And on top of that, production does not have a good vision for the show and they are not creating a good narrative for us to follow.

Okay, well, we're, you know, that's a huge treatise to write when we still got an hour left. So let's keep, let's keep. I know. Let's keep on. My musicals end there. Also, but I know that when people are, and I didn't mean you, I meant us, but I know that when people are and I didn't mean you I meant us

But I know that when people are really into a show and you come to crap and you want it to all be fun And I was kind of like loving even if we're hating I like loving and we do we still have fun doing it But I'm sorry. I'm not gonna get this show stupid. So if you don't like listening to it, I don't blame you Just skip to a different episode because I'm not giving you what you want Yeah, if you want to hear us bitch about this show for an hour, literally stay here, because that's what we're going to do. And if you don't, I totally understand, but don't expect anything different,

because I'm not giving it to you. Okay? Yeah, I mean, we still try to have fun with it. We still try to find the comedy and things, and like, you know, we still poke fun, but it's just, it's so hard. Like, you just want, in terms of, it's hard to watch Bravo put this shit up on the air.

And it's just like, just make it better. Just find, do something, do something. Anyway. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. They say Hollywood is where dreams are made. A seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart.

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and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the Children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy, Lou, and Max help clear the Grinch's name?

Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts. So then they try and Sai is like, well, let me tell you something earlier on the plane, people were wondering will Bitcoin reaches $1 million milestone in 2025. I is like, well, let me tell you something earlier on the plane. People were wondering, will Bitcoin reaches $1 million milestone in 2025? I was like, oh, god damn it. Did Sai talk about reading headlines? I'm sorry.

I'm scrolling. I'm scrolling through the news and trying to watch the show at the same time. Should we do headlines? Well, the great headlines into our rony recap to make it more spicy. Yeah. So I had to rewind it more spicy, yeah. So I had to rewind it, but apparently, Jenna was telling Cy that she has to get waxed because the hair on her vagina is straight like a wet cat.

So now we get to talk about Jenna's pubic hair being wacky. And Jenna's like, I can't believe that she's talking. This is so, what? Oh, they're talking about me? I can't believe that she's talking. This is so what they're talking about me. I can't crazy. She says, she says, I mean, for whatever reason, my hair, it's down there. It's just like straight. It's like, it's like Jessel's hair. And Jessel's like, so basically I have Jenna Lyons's pubes on my head, that's outrageous everyone.

So they do that for a while and then bring us ladies and gentlemen, Jenna Lyons. And Jenna's like, wow, I just can't believe I'm talking about this. This is national television. Guys, we are such a funny group. I think we've proven to America that we earned our spot. We're gonna like so funny. This was definitely a Ramona pooping

in a closet in Mexico moment. So they go back to the house and it's cold. They're so cold. I'm cold. house and it's cold. They're so cold. I'm cold. No, I'm cold. No, I am cold like a basic bitch. So they're cold and they're gonna all get into bed and then they're just like talking about how cold it is

because it's cold. The air conditioning is on. So Sy goes to Uba's room to hang out but Uba has put a dresser in front or a nightstand in front of the door. She's like, what are you doing? There's no lock in this room. So that's what I do. I do the same thing when I check into a hotel. Not only I put the lock but if I'm sleeping alone I move the fridge and I put it there. Doesn't feel like that's up to code but that's fine. Good luck to you

So the first person to see the hotel to when there's a fire and she can't get out in time You didn't make refrigerators move easier from the inside terrible It was like oh dude. I am NOT feeling good because of that fucking cheese. Oh god cheese. Okay. Let me see. Do you have a fever? Let me see. Oh god Oh, man, you know, I slept like a queen last night a queen from the 1960s and a small bed and it was like oh can I have my room back? No, that listing is no longer available By the way, the Republicans are trying to push for chaining criminal investigation. What?

Sorry, Ronnie was scrolling. So then we go- Did you know that a rift in Trump world over how to make America healthier is going to be an issue? What? Sorry, scrolling. So then, Raquel is on the phone calling her mom to make sure she's gonna come. And the mom says she's gonna come,

but Raquel's like, I don't know if she's gonna come. And so, Sy comes in and, you know, they're talking about coffee and getting coffee and stuff like that. Everybody starts gathering in the kitchen basically. And then, Sy is like, oh my God, I do not use one of these machines. Why is this coffee?

This is ridiculous. Fucking stupid. In New York, you know what we got? People will make you coffee. Like, what the hell is this? It's curing. Oh, god. No.

She's like, guys, guys, guys, hold on. I'm going to do a bit about curing. This will be really good on TV. What? How do I use this? So Raquel's like, oh. I don't even know how to use it. Yeah. So she's like, what? Will you drink coffee? Raquel? No, you drink tea, right? She's like, I don't drink coffee. I drink tea. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, this show, seriously,

give it 10 more seasons. Okay. So then they start talking about their moms because Raquel's nervous because she hasn't seen her mom. And so it's like, I'm so confused. Why haven't you seen your mom in 10 years? And she's like, well, you know, she didn't want me coming out here after COVID. And then I had stuff going on and now she doesn't want to come to New York. And so she's telling us that her mom was making excuses. Like first she was saying it's because she has dogs and she can't find a dog sitter and she won't bring her dog.

And then she has anxiety. she can't find a dog sitter and she won't bring her dog and then she has anxiety and then this and that and Raquel's convinced that if she's still married to a man, this wouldn't be happening. Yeah, she says there's different levels of homophobia like, oh, I love gay people. They're everywhere. But when it's your daughter, it's like a little different. So she hasn't met her mom hasn't met Mel in years. They met years ago and she hasn't seen the kids. And you know, it's basically because of this, you know,

the grand, the, the hurt Raquel's kids don't really have a grandmother, you know, and she says, one of the most hurtful parts is that my children have been robbed of a grandmother and they feel it. They feel the absence and it's very difficult. And then Cy tells us that she will never not speak to her children. She would never allow it.

And, you know, but like there's a lot of like old school Latinas who have a hard time admitting their faults and they sweep things under the rug. And Cy is like, you know, that's just like being a New Yorker. You know, what are you gonna do? I mean, what are you gonna get your mom to admit that New York radiation levels are spiking

because drones have been spotted in the area? What? Sorry, goddamn it, Ronnie, stop scrolling. There's a very important, meaningful scene. I was like, I'm so sorry, but this is more mother trauma. This is what the show did not need was another traumatic mother story. We've got literally 10 traumatic mother storylines.

Get something new, okay? I need a new factory line of trauma. If you're gonna bring me trauma, at least give me fresh fucking trauma. Yeah. So then she's like, well, I was speaking on the phone to my mother and she was explaining she's got these heart palpitations

that she's been getting and she thought she was having a heart attack and I asked her before and she was like, I said, is it anxiety? And she goes, I don't know. And normally she said, no, it's not. But this time she said, I don't know. And I just feel like it's scary. And like she says, no, it's not. But this time she said, I don't know. And I just feel like it's scary. And like, children, we're just more open in our generation.

And I understand why she has heart palpitations, because the killing of the Russian general sends a message. But it doesn't change the war. Sorry, scrolling. Scrolling, Roddy. Scrolling. So then Sai is talking about how, you know, it was really rough with her mom being a drug addict

and, you know, her husband was like, why do you keep having her back in her life? And you're like, well, it's my mom, you know? And even though your mom morphs into somebody different, it's still your mom. And she's like, you know, and now like, I feel a void coming to Puerto Rico because she still resents that her mom

gave up on life for drugs, and she gave up on her for drugs, which I think is fair, and normal and fair. And so basically they're like, let's break the cycle. And I'm like- It's so boring, it's so boring. I'm like, you guys should break the cycle. You guys should break the cycle of talking about this on every single episode, because literally I can't.

I can't. It's very sad for Psy. I appreciate her emotional honesty, but just listening to you, I'm like... It's enough. It's just enough, because here's the thing. And I think it's kind of a generational thing, and it's not really, because Raquel is of art,

of a generation above ours, but I think oh, yeah Maybe she's yes. Yes, and I I think but anyway The point is it's it's a modern thing to just like define yourself by whatever your trauma is and to have to trauma It's like you give each other awards based on your trauma. Congrats fucking lations. We all fucking have it I think you know when I say this a lot on this show, especially recapping New York, but can we just start defining ourselves on our triumphs and what we got over and not what we're traumatized by constantly.

I just, it's so boring to me. I bet the leaves you ate at the top of the tree. You did it. Get your leaves, girl, get your leaves. And that's not to discount their trauma or say it's not important. I get that it's important, but nobody wants to sit here and listen to mine.

I can sit here for an hour and a half and give it. Nobody would listen to that shit. Entertain me. I'm coming to you to get away from my trauma. Okay? Not to fucking get in a hot tub full of yours. This is, again, this speaks to the poor direction of this show. I think they're giving us these scenes to give texture to these women and subtext,

subtext and texture and, you know, make us understand and see them as three-dimensional people. I get all that. But also it's just like, I feel like the big mistake with this reboot is that Bravo is trying to make these people our best friends and make us want to bond with them and want to hang out with them and want to aspire to be them. And that is just not what the real housewives is all about. And in fact, the goofier and sillier and campier these women are, those, that's usually when we actually

feel bonded to them and want to hang out with them. We all want to hang out with like Luanne and Sonya. Well, maybe not Sonya, maybe too much of a mess. Dorinda like heck, someone said they want to hang out with Kyle Richards. I would get it. But like we want to hang out with them because we've gone, we've been in the trenches with them in the silliness of the show, not because we can sit there and bond over the sadness in our lives. Right. So basically now everybody starts gathering and talking about pooping and coffee. And then, so Jenna comes in and she tells Rebecca, wait, I have a very real question for you.

And Rebecca's like, I have a very real answer for you. So you can suck my dick, Brian. She goes, okay, you need to drop that now, okay? But here's what my question actually is, are you gonna get into it with Bran? Cause like, I'm just waiting for it. Cause like, she's coming at you and it's exciting. I'm really starting to be on this, enjoy being on this.

I love that Jenna's like enjoying the mess now. She's like, go on, fight her, do it. It's gonna be so fun. And Rebecca's like, but last night, did you not think that we had it out? Did you not see how much I was squinting? It was just like a machine gun of squints. Like I was like Rambo.

I was like squint Rambo. Was that not enough for you? I was like, no, squint. But really squint. Oh, I was squint. And Rebecca's like, she's like, I mean, it's like she's Jenna says, no, I just just didn't seem like we're having it out. She goes, oh, well, it's just, it's how you deal with a child

when they're having a tantrum. Just went at them. It works every single time. Yeah, exactly. And she goes, yeah, it's how you deal with a child having a tantrum. So she was like, everyone thinks I'm bending it over and taking it up the ass.

And they do. And it cuts to all the other ladies. Jessel's like, I want her to be Rebecca Minkoff, the big boss bitch. But instead it's giving elementary school like, you're the bully, no, you're the bully, no, you're the bully. I'm the one with vagina hair.

And Rebecca's like, I mean, I think you can't throw stones if you like. And Jenna goes, if you live in a glass house. Oh, my God. Thank you. I didn't know where I was going with that sentence. Jessel's like, well, I think she has a lot to get through. I mean, if she's going to do this baby with Gideon, I mean, and Reck is like, really? It's like, yeah. Oh, and then Jenna is like, I know, just, I didn't realize they were doing it together.

I mean, but it's awesome. It's cool that they're gonna try to do that. And they're all talking about, wow, Gideon's so great. And I was not hypocritical at all that Brynn is mad that everybody calls her a sugar baby, but then the only person she can think of getting sperm from is someone she claims is a billionaire. So, and then Rebecca's like,

oh, now I can understand why Brynn's upset with me because she wants a baby. And as someone who didn't get pregnant right away, I fully empathize with that journey, you know, but just don't poke because you'll be leaking out of enough holes soon enough. And I say this as someone who made quite a mess in her virginity bed, which I still have.

Literally just squirted. Squirted all over that virginity bed. Rebecca's like, I think in just in a situation where it's just like her and I, we can like sort of come to like a let's all get along and let's just like be nice. And I can just remind her that I have succeeded in every way that she has failed in life. And I think that'll be okay.

So then Rebecca's like, but why do people play these games? That's my question. And just was like, yeah, I have better things to do with my time, right? Like, I have an empire to run, right? And Rebecca just flicks her hair like, I sure do. So then, Cy and Uba are talking about, they're just taking pictures of each other, you know, which is what they do on this show. And then, Marian, the mom, and the boyfriend, Santiago, are arriving and they come in and they hug and hug, and Raquel's like, it's been a while since I hugged my mom.

It just feels so good. I hope this homophobic love hug lasts forever. It's been a while since I hugged my mom. It just feels so good. I hope this homophobic love hug lasts forever. And it's cute. The mom's sweet. The mom does give a little sigh to me personally, which is cute, because I'm liking sigh this season.

So she's there and she's like, wow, great. Mom seems fine, but we know it's not. We know it's like she's on camera, she's on best behavior, but the moms. Yeah Find us. I'm not gonna discount Raquel on this one though But it's just a mom's gonna rip off her sweater later when she gets mad and there's gonna be a don't tread on me shirt underneath She's gonna be well one One of the classic tropes on Bravo is that like someone will just talk for episodes about how awful their mom is and then their mom

Comes on to TV and they're like, hi honey, how's it going? And we're always like, what the, we don't see it. It's like Erica from Beverly Hills, we were talking about this earlier. She's like, my mother, that abusive bitch, she ruined my life as a child by not appreciating me in the school play, now look at me.

And then her mom comes in, she's like, hi honey, I love you so much, I support whatever you do, god damn it. And her mom comes in, she's like, hi honey, I love you so much. I support whatever you do. God damn it. So she introduces her mom to everyone and hugging and brain empathizes because she hasn't spoken to her biological mom in 15 years.

So she, you know, she, she imagines how special this is. They talk about bakalow, which I've never had. But now I actually really want to try it cause it sounded delicious. All I heard was like salt fish and I love a salty fish. So yeah, no, I'm I give me some bakalow. Find me some bakalow people. And then, um, Rebecca is, I think it was like, that's what I say. So they're talking about that. And then Brynn comes in and she's like,

good morning my little vampire. And kisses Jenna on the lips. And the mom is like, whoa. And then Uwe's like, wow, did she kiss her on the lips? So I was like, that's bizarre, it's fucking weird. So then Uwe's like, did you kiss Brynn on the lips? She said you're kissing on the lips. And Jenna's like, yeah, she always kisses me on the lips. I said you're kissing on the lips and Jenna's like yeah She always kisses me on the I mean listen

She she doesn't have man so and then Jenna tries to kiss sigh and then she kisses Zuba on the lips and then Aaron on the lips and the mom's just like Yeah, because mom's like great my daughter's not only a lesbian now she's traveling with the lesbian watch a group great and Of course Jenna leaves out Jessel. She's like, where's my smoochie smooch on the lips? Like, what the heck? I literally look like a vagina. Wouldn't she want to put a mouth in me?

And then the producer is like, by the way Jessel, have you ever dipped your toe in the lady pond? She's like, no, I never did that. So maybe I'll do that when I'm 56 and bored of Pavit. I think Pavit's done that. Hold on. Hold on. Let me call Pavit. Pavit, have you dipped your toe in a lady pond? Oh, oh, all right. No, he's dipped his Bon Me into ranch dressing before and really like that.

You can check it out on his latest Instagram post. What were we talking about? Oh, and then a genuine funny moment happens. And Jessel's like, so when was the last time you guys saw each other? And Raquel's like, about six years ago. And Marion's like, yeah, it was a few months after Maria. So she came down to help me out. And Jessel's like, and Maria is your daughter. Hurricane Maria. More of this, please. More of this.

So your daughter is what badly behaved? No, it was the actual devastating hurricane. Oh, I'm not familiar. Why was she named Maria? They name hurricanes. Do they? Wow. I wish I could name a hurricane.

I'd name it Katie. I've never met my children. I'd name it Katie and then I'd ask it every day. Hurricane, does Tom Cruise miss you? I would know if we went to the proper preschool. That's not how hurricanes work, Jussel. Are you sure? Are we talking about lanterns?

No, actual hurricanes So she's like what I mean in all fairness that hurricane happened when like 2019 2018 I thought Maria was a sister or something. I don't fucking know Hmm, but we had a newspaper just sold Jesus Yeah, we the newspaper. I guess they don't get those in space Which is pretty funny and And she goes, yeah, read the newspaper. I guess I don't get those in space. Which is pretty funny. And so then Erin's like, hey guys, wait for Carrothead. Okay, here comes Carrothead.

She's like, Jussell lives in Jusselton, which is kind of like Bridgerton, where you're always getting ready for a ball. So like she doesn't know what's going on, right? Cause like, have you seen the show Bridgerton? Cause it's like that, but it's like Jessel. So it's like Jesselton. So what, what's the deal with Bridgerton anyway?

I mean, there's no bridges and nothing weighs a ton. It might as well call it land a few pounds. Sidewalk light. Sidewalk, hey, you ever seen a show called Sidewalk Light, I have. It's actually what Bridgerton's really called. Sidewalk pound. Hey, I guess it's British though,

so it be side sidewalk Graham Street level ounce But I do but you put you So then they talk about the hurricane we're like cracking up. Okay, let's go back to hurricane Maria. Back to hurricane Maria, guys. So they talk about how devastating it was, how there was no electricity, no water,

the federal government fucked them over. Failed them. Yeah, it was terrible. There was not, there's just like, the streetlights were out for like a year. They didn't like, water would come in, water would come out. You know, Jess was like, I'm sorry, we're still talking about your boring cousin Maria. But Maria should pay her electricity then. I'm just saying. It's not that difficult. Just like stop at the stop signs and drive forward. Why do you need electricity, Maria?

So then they get changed because they're going to go out, right? So they're going to go to old San Juan and the mom's like, I'm not going in the hot weather. What are you kidding me? And Raquel's like, well, can we just pull out your iPad? Because I want to try and set it up quickly so the kids can FaceTime you.

And she's like, oh my God. So my kids want to meet that or want to see her. And she's like, no. And I'm like, but they've missed out on so many memories and she can't even set up her iPad. Like, come on. And she's like, mom, did you charge it? She's like, I did.

She goes, it's not charged. She's like, come on, I didn't even use it. That's cause it's fresh out of the box. But that's also taking things really personally that aren't personal. Like mom, you haven't seen my kids and you can't even charge your iPad. She's like, who charges an iPad?

It's like, why do I have to charge it? It's like a tiny little stupid square thing. Give me a regular notebook. What happened to paper and pens? All right, where are they on that? Raquel's acting. Grandma loves you. Grandma loves. Give me a regular notebook. What happened to paper and pens? All right, where are they on that? Straw you can, I'll talk to it. Grandma loves you. Grandma loves.

Yeah. Done. Is that for Maria? Listen, don't take it personally, Raquel. Once you get to a certain age, you do not understand how to use Apple products. That's just how it is. It's not an age-

I think even if you do, I'm starting to think that older people, my parents included, just they understand it. They just don't want to. Like my mom will send me a text that says, call me. I say- Oh, you know, Apple TV, they call me. It's like, I have a quick question.

Apple TV's not working. That's what it means that the remote's not working. She'll never call me though. It's that I have to call her. It's like, it's hard for her to do it. It's like, I can never find your, you know, the proper number. I don't know where to, it's like, just what?

And then you call, yes. And it's the Apple TV, which is kind of confusing even to me sometimes. It's like, why is the screen black for 10 minutes at a time on every one that I own? So just updating, it just doesn't tell you. Anyway, but yeah, I think there's just some point where it's like, you're my child.

And if I want you to update my iPad, you're going to do it. And that's it. Here comes one right now. So, uh, Uber goes to hang out with Sai and she was saying that she was afraid that, that, that there was gonna be a lot of tears. And Sai was saying like, no, no, no, she's like my mom, you know, like, like they just ignore everything. Some mothers are just very tough. And, and she's like mine, she did something wrong.

She just pick up exactly where she left off. Like we don't even talk about it. And, you know, I think she just has the same sort of mom as me, Puerto Ricans, especially back in the day, they were just, were just saying, they were just saying that they just were not very emotional, just would soldier on. All right, so then basically, Raquel and her mom are looking through pictures on the phone and talking about the heart palpitations. And Raquel's like, maybe it's time to come to New York, Mom.

And she's like, what, get on a plane? What, if I have a nervous problem, a heart problem, I gotta get on a plane? What if I have a nervous problem, a heart problem? I got to get on a plane. Like I have a fear of flying, you know that. She's like, but you'll be fine, you know? And she's like, I hope we can take a step forward. So then, you know, the mom's not going to San Juan, old San Juan, so they go without her.

And then we go to Old San Juan, I say goodbye to Mary Ann. Old San Juan, yeah. And now we're to Old San Juan. I say goodbye to Marion. Old San Juan, yeah. And now we're in Old San Juan. And Uba has chosen to wear a kitten heel with a spike, which is scandalizing people, especially Jessel, because Jessel's like, how do you even walk like that?

And Brinn is... Rebecca goes up. Rebecca tells Brinn, like, hey, by the way, at some point I'd like to talk to you. I will not even squint. It'll be full-eyed and I hope you will accept this. And Brynn's like, yeah, that'll be really cool. Yeah. So then Brynn's like, sorry.

It's literally Brynn's like, sorry. It was literally. Brin's like insurers are deserting homeowners as climate shocks worsen. Literally in the recap, I was like, CDC confirms first case of severe bird flu. I was like, oh no. And I was like, you're doing a recap, Ronnie. I have the headlines open just to read during this recap

and I actually started reading them. Bird flu, come on, that's not fair. We're still, we just got through a pandemic. You know what, but that's why I didn't even believe the pandemic at first because it's always like, bird flu every year, it's like, oh my God, it's coming again, here it comes. And I'm like, bird flu never gets me.

You know what I mean? They've been threatening me with bird flu for 20 years now. Stop it, it's every year. You've got to come up with something new to scare me. So then they did, and they were like, maybe it's like the bird flu. I was like, I'm not scared. And then look what happened, you know, uh, which was terrible. So anyway, Maria, right? God, hurricane Maria,

those were the days. So then, um, Uber and Cy are shopping together and it's wacky. Literally nothing happens for a while. Can we just scroll till something happens because this was terrible. It's like the, the, basically the group splits up into content creators who just like to take photos themselves and non-content creators. And then it just goes and goes and goes.

Let's go to the dick pic portion. Okay? I would love that. So then Brynn, so they're shopping and Brynn is with Jenna. Wait, who is she with? No, Brynn's just talking. She's with Jenna and Brynn and they're in a store with cocktails and Aaron says, Oh, my kids are FaceTiming me. It's like, Oh my God, let's answer.

So Aaron's daughter, Layla, is on the phone and she's crying and she's like, Mommy, I just got a car. And Aaron's like, Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to go home? She's like, Yeah, but can I take an Uber? They're cracking up. She's like, sure, honey, take an Uber black. I mean, Jesus, like this is New York city.

Take a train, you know? You can cry all you want. No one will look your way, you know? So then they're shopping around and she goes, I want to buy my husband something. He's a large and Brink goes, Oh my God, your husband's large. Okay, yeah.

And Jenna's like, I don't think there's anything large about Abe, but that's okay, sorry. And Erin goes, what? And she goes, yeah, she said Abe's a large. And then I'm like, I don't think there's anything larger than like this show. Come on, show.

Jenna was like trying to talk shit or whatever. I don't know what it was, but like it was awkward. And then she immediately was like taking it back because she's like giggling. And Erin's like, oh yeah, do you wanna see his dick? And so then she pulls out a picture of Abe's dick and they're like, oh wow. They're like, okay.

And then Brynn's like, for the record, I did not solicit this. I did not, which I will give Brynn credit for that. So they're looking at it and they're like, oh, this is great. And Brynn's like, oh my God, I love Puerto Rico. Yeah. And Brynn's like, I love everything.

The people, the drinks. I love what it makes people do. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And so Erin's like, Oh, she's triple baby. She's triple baby. Baby seal. So then she whips out the dick pic. And Aaron's like, So do you think this is small? And Jen's like, Whoa, I take it back. Wow. Wow. Wow. And Britain's like, Oh my God, this thing is so pretty.

So they sit there talking about his wiener for a while. And Aaron's like, that's why I have a lot of sacks. And now they talk about the penis for a while. Now are you offended by this penis? What do you think? Offended, well, I think it's like a little weird just to like show like a private like dick pic or whatever the the analog would be for for like a woman, I guess, like I think a nude pic

in general of like, the person you're with just to show it to other people on TV to I don't know. I mean, but that could just be their relationship. I mean, if they're cool with it, then I don't care. But like, I don't think I would. know. I mean, but that could just be their relationship. I mean, if they're cool with it, then I don't care. But like, I don't think I would. Yeah, I think it just depends on the reaction of the person. You know what I mean? Like, if he's upset by it, then I guess he would have something to stand by.

He would have a leg to stand on, a third leg to stand on, apparently. But yeah, he would have an issue. Then I guess it would be an issue. I don't really care. I mean, the Internet's pretty outraged about it. I don't care. I'm like, wow,'s pretty outraged about it. I don't care. I'm like, wow, at least people are getting worked up over something on this show, that's good. But like, I don't care.

And I have a feeling that they probably swing or do something where they're, or at the very least share dick pics. Like she probably shares dick pics with her friends all the time. You know what I mean? Like some people are just like that. I don't know, maybe we get it more because we're gay

and it's not that big of a deal. I just am like, like I wouldn't do it, but if their relationship, if that's like within the parameters of their relationship, then I don't really care. So now they all go to lunch and they're all sitting around and they're all talking. And Jenna is like, she's like, ooh, Uba,

I like your, can I touch your boobs? And she's like, no, squeeze them. Don't do it like a basic bitch. They're the best. My ass feels the same and I don't even work out. This is a non-basic bitch ass. So they talk about, they touch each other's boobs and stuff like that.

Cause that's literally all we have on this show. And then they start ordering some drinks and talking about what they bought, shopping, and Brink goes, oh, I got a dick pic. I didn't even have to pay. I mean, this girl, like, she's just so obnoxious. Like, can you just make it two seconds without like spoiling the plot?

Like, why does this have to be your plot? Like, you can't just hang out with your friends without throwing them under the bus within five seconds. That's like the first thing you do is throw your friend under the bus. It's just tiresome, man. It's like just an annoying fucking person. Like who was even friends with this person?

She's just annoying. So Rebecca's, so she's talking about how she got this pic that Erin showed it and Rebecca's like, what, you got something AirDrop to you? And she goes like, no, AirDrop to my face. We were picking out clothes for Eve and the retail associate was like oh is this it and I was like oh he doesn't need a large and there's nothing large about him and then Erin was like look a big dress piece. So they talk about the dick and they're saying it was a great dick, great dick pic, etc. And he showed you man's dick to them.

It's like, I don't got dick pics of David. I always try and get meat mail, but he's the most said it to me. And Jessel's like, if the tables were turned and Abe was going around showing pictures of Aaron's giant clit, I don't know, there would be a lot more sleepy people falling asleep to Aaron's clit because you know, it's boring. Yeah. And Rebecca's like, it leads me to imagine like, was it hard? Was it soft?

Everkill is like, I don't want to see Abe's dick. Even when I was straight, I wouldn't want to see someone else's dick. By the way, this is the other sign that when a show doesn't have any content, they ask like everyone to weigh in on some stupid shit like this. So it like, it's like a carousel of people talking about Abe's dick.

So then Uba says, it was like, no, not into this or whatever. And everyone's like- Yeah, this group is not like Jessel and Brynn. Cause Jessel and Brynn were like, oh my God, this is amazing. And this group's like, gross. Why would you do that? And also it's funny cause this is the group

that's constantly taking each other's pictures and trying to get attention. So you would think that they would be the group that's like, oh my God, a dick pic, awesome. But they're like, no, gross. They're just happy for any dick pic. They're tasteless, classless. They're like any JPEG.

So Uba's like, actually I have to say I don't want it. I don't want to see it, whatever, I wouldn't want it. And Raquel's like, she's like, oh, that's weird. I don't wanna see his dick. And Uba's like, I absolutely don't want it. I respect Abe too much. And she just basically winds up saying, and Aaron's like, well, am I being disrespectful by showing it? Now I'm going to feel bad about this. And she was like, I would be dumb if I show out of his dick. Literally.

Like I would never do that. You know, I, for me personally. So I think Uber's just saying where she stands on it. And then Aaron, of course, is like, it's very hard for me to decipher what's going to trigger Uber's intense reaction. And I don't know why my personal situation with my husband and what I've shown is making her so upset. She's not so upset. She's just saying, no, I wouldn't do that. If I did that with Oliver, that'd be stupid.

Cause you know, she's basically saying Oliver wouldn't like it. She's not like, Oh my God. But this is such an Aaron thing to do is to paint Uber like she's having this big, intense triggered reaction when Uber's just saying what everyone else is saying. Like, no, I, this would not be for me. Well, yeah. And also, of course, it was inappropriate to share your husband's dick, you weirdo. Like sorry, don't make that someone else's fault. It was your weird, you know, it was your weird choice. So she's like, now I'm questioning myself. Like, should I not have shown my girlfriends, my girlfriends a picture of a dick pic? Like I'm a girl's girl. We

do this. So Brynn's like, I mean, it was tasteful. And Jen was like, it was fantastic. Really, it was so good. I mean, artistically, the mushroom, it was good. And Aaron's like, well, Si doesn't believe it. So I was like, I don't give a fuck what size it is. I don't care if it's small, big. That's your thing. That's your baby. Like, you know what I mean? And Aaron goes, my, that's a dick. It's not my baby. She says, that's your man. That's what I'm saying. It's none of my business. I'm gonna see Does anybody want to see me Sniff shit off a shoe or stab myself with a bottle cuz I'll do it Sorry, then looks at Jessel's feet and she's like, oh my god Look at you. Hey, you ever seen that Kim Kardashian in those plastic shoes when they were like

You ever seen that Kim Kardashian in those plastic shoes when they were like swollen and you know, like huh? Well, look at Jessel's feet because she also has plastic shoes and her feet are swollen So her feet have to she can't even wear her shoes anymore. Oh my god So she takes a picture of her ugly feet under the table and then starts showing people the side by side of their pictures And so i was like, oh my gosh, I put it to us in the group chat. I'm gonna and rebecca was like, Oh my gosh, I put a toast in the group chat. I'm gonna and Rebecca was like, Oh, wonderful. And so Aaron's like, Oh my God, she sent that to the whole group. And everyone's like, check your phones, you guys. Oh my God. Who wore best? Kim K or Jessel and Jessel's like, that is so fucked up. I was walking around. What do you want? I'd sweaty feet.

This show is running on fumes. Seriously. So then they start judging her feet. And then she's upset because they're like judging her feet and it's not fair. And then everyone's like, Oh my God, her feet are so ugly. And then Brynn's like, well, that's kind of hypocritical. Is it Brynn who was like, it's hypocritical? Like these are the girls who were so offended. Oh no, that's later in the carical. Is it Brynn who was like, it's a hypocritical, like these are the girls who were so offended.

Oh no, that's later in the car. We'll get to it soon. So they asked her to tell us some more questions about her mom and mom and mom. I don't care. I'm not talking about this anymore. Like I'm not doing it. I don't care if she does, I'm not doing it.

Then they talk about Jessel wanting kids again and blah, blah, blah. So then they decide to go home. Then they talk about the mom again and how wonderful, I can't with this fucking show. Okay. So we go back to the van and Brynn is like, Oh my God, Aaron, I love how they tried throwing you under the bus, sharing a consensually given photo of your husband. If 10,

yeah, consensual is giving her the photo. It's not showing it, but still, it's another business. And look at Brynn trying to agitate people again. Yeah, of course. She started this whole thing, you know, she started it as usual and now she's trying to keep it going. So Aaron's like, yeah, it made me like, it made me, it made them mad that he had a big dick.

It made them mad that he had a big dick. No, they were just like, it feels sort of like a violation of his privacy a little bit. And Brynn is like, and Uber was about to go crazy. You guys for so much talk about gaslighting on this show, like there's a, like I don't know whether or not this is the correct definition. This seems to be the colloquial definition, the informal definition. You guys are really gaslighting Uber right here.

She just thought it was tacky and you guys are making it seem like she was having this giant loud violent reaction. Yeah, truly. So then Brin's like, they don't understand humor. They really don't. So then now back at the resort, a lot of small talk, a lot of small talk, tons of small talk. Let's get to this fight.

Let's just fast forward to the fight. I'm going through my notes here. Aaron Rodgers, Netflix docu-series, 10 Biggest Revelations. Let me see here. Brynn is pouring a tequila bottle in Aaron's mouth. Oh, there's a body shot and everything. Hunkrey redraws electoral map as Orban's party slumps

in the polls, Maloney hails Italy's newfound stability. Okay. Scrolling, scrolling. Okay, so Rebecca pulls Bren for a talk. How the right claims crunchy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Okay, so Bren pulls, Rebecca pulls Bren aside. And so Bren's like, you can go first. She's like, what do you want Erin here? She goes, yeah, I mean, she's my friend, so.

Yeah, she's gonna tell her a twisted version anyway. So just let her hear the real version, you know? Yeah. So Rebecca's like, okay, I apologize. I didn't know you were triggered. And so Bren's kind of taken aback and she's like, okay, well then I'm sorry. I ripped her head off. And she goes, yeah, I didn't know you were going through a whole thing. So Brynn's like, okay,

this girl's going to let me have my, I'm sad about not ever getting pregnant even though I didn't really want to before story into a thing. So Brynn Bryn's like, okay, she's going to give me my storyline. So I'll be nice. And then Brynn gives kind of like a template apology. It was actually a good apology because she kind of hit all the right notes, but it was actually funny to me because it was, it almost felt like she'd gone to HR and they said,

here's how you should apologize to someone. She's like, I'm sorry for ripping your head off. That's not cool. And it's not okay. Even if I'm going through stuff, it's never okay to have that reaction. Thank you for being the better person and apologizing and initiating this conversation. But I should be the first to apologize because it wasn't right. My reaction was a reflection of me and my insecurity

and not having anything to do with you. Ah! Ah! Ah! So then we transition into her story. So then she is like, well, I'm fully aware that I don't have kids and I think about it every day and I cry about it every day.

And I cry now. And she says that she doesn't have kids. And so she freaks out when people say stuff like that because she understands what it's like to have not to have kids all too well. And she tells us, she's like, Gideon's not getting his shit together. I mean, he was supposed to go to London to the clinic

and give a sample. And then, oh my God, I had to pop over to my friend in the South of France and to his friend's place. Well, you don't seem like you wanna do this. And I want someone who wants to do this. No, you don't. You want a fucking rich person. Okay. You don't get to bag a rich person for his money

who you're going to tie up for the next God knows how many years for his money for your child and then demand that he change his lifestyle and stay at home with the kid. That's not how that works, ma'am. Okay. So if you're not going to be able to do this, don't do it. Go find someone real who wants to do this with you. Stop fucking wasting your time. You're just you're bad. I love how she's like surprised that Gideon's not into it, like anyone who watched that episode where she was like, so thinking like maybe you can be with me.

And he just stares at her and blinks and gives her like like a polite British smile. It's like I would love that. I would love absolutely nothing more. He's like, oh, wow. So you don't love me. I would love absolutely nothing more. He's like, Oh, wow. So you don't love me. You don't even like me. You don't want to be with me at all and give me what I want, which is you. But then you want me to be financially tied to you for the rest of this baby's life when I'm already in my 50s. Probably sounds great. Sounds like I'm going to get a lot out of this deal. Yeah.

Brin sounds like you really sold him on that one. Hey, Brian, it's like she's in her own TV show called Bringerton. This is totally a Bringerton material. Ever hear about Bringerton? It's like Bridgerton, but it's with Brian and a British guy. Okay. So now where are we? So they kind of bond and Rebecca's like says that her attention was never to hurt her. It was just, it was a cum, it was a culmination of like the first time they met, like Britain

was just poking and poking and poking and being an asshole. So we see flashbacks of that. And Rebecca's like, I just was like that frustration. Like I should have just nipped it in the bud the first time. And I just feel like, why is she coming for me like that? Like I barely know you and I'd love to get to know you better. That's a lie, I don't. I actually have like very successful friends that I'm friends with instead. But like, I just don't want to have conflict with you

because you're just not important enough to have conflict with. So it's just like annoying that I have to have it. You know what I'm saying, right? Yeah. So, let's see. So yeah, they make up basically. And Rebecca's like, you know, I get overwhelmed sometimes.

And Brent's like, I get that. But Brent's kind of like, I don't really wanna talk about you because Rebecca opens up about her being a mom and you know, she keeps going on. And Brent's like, okay, I'm bored with this now. And so Rebecca's like, okay, well surface Brin's going away. So that's good. Now I get to finally meet her. And she's like, well, I'm just like in the place of opening up. But it's just like, not everybody is willing to do that. And that's okay, because like,

not everyone can share an open up like me just because I want you don't share an open up you berate everybody and try and make every and manipulate everything and manipulate and gaslight everybody around you and try and fuck them up and Then start crying about it later because they didn't guess what your trauma was. So no, you're not too open I don't think anybody would accuse you of being too open ma'am but she accepts the apology and they hug it out and they're going to move forward and everything. And you know, Rebecca's like, yay. They're going to get many petties and everything. And Brynn's like,

maybe I'll have to go shopping. Maybe I'll go to Nurchamrack. So then they just say, they're going to just start over, start over, start over. Yay. Everything is great. A new line in the sand. Three hours later, filing the show gets a pulse again. It looks like there's going to be a big tussle next week. There's Jessel drama, Aaron drama, uber drama, Van drama, the best kind of stuff.

So hopefully the show can kind of like write the ship next week. Cause this episode was a real, this one was for a season that's already kind of dull. This episode was really, really dull. It's just, they're treading water. Just fucking end it. It's episode 12, make it a short season.

Why would you take a show that sucks and then make a full season out of it? No, any other show that sucks on Bravo gets no matter how good the season is, they get a 12 episode order. That's it, okay? And then Andy's been all over this week like, oh my God, don't wanna oversell it,

but this reunion is amazing. Someone is really upping it in the outfit department. They're upping themselves every, it's gonna shock people. Jenna's in a dress. Let me guess, Jenna's gonna wear a dress and it's gonna shock every, I mean, come on, man. Like just stop. I just take it away.

This whole episode should have been like a seven minute segment as part of like, you know, like whatever's coming up next week. But like, this is the age old thing when thing when they have the episode order is too long, they've got to stretch out the content. And then we as the audience are the one that actually. Yeah, as far as punish us, we're trying to support you. Don't fucking you're you're you're bashing our goodwill into the ground

as an audience. And my favorite Internet comment is this show could have been an email. You know, it's like the show could have been an email, this whole show. So, um, anyway, we'll still be back laughing anyway, next week. Uh, and the next 10 weeks that this is going to fucking error, I'm sure. When do you think the season finale is? Oh geez. Oh, cause we've got the holidays coming up. It's probably gonna be in the first week or two of January. I'm going to suspect. Okay. Well let's pray. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us.

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