Watch What Crappens - # 2669 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 4:

Episode Date: December 28, 2024

*This is the final part of our epic 4-parter* We join forces with the glorious homos Mattie and Poodle of The Reality Gays (instagram.com/realitygayspodcast/ ) to take on our annual Christmas movie trash talking bonus spree. This year’s delight is Hot Frosty, a Netflix movie where Gretchen Weiner tries to melt off Frosty the Snowman’s weiner. It’s great for the whole frigid family! New episodes will be posted daily throughout the week. To watch them all on video and get our bonus episodes, join us at the Crappens on Demand level at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. So Kathy is having this existential crisis about how like the whole town loves him and everything and he's like, but if the whole town loves me and then does that mean that you're in love with me basically? And she goes, stop, stop right there. Okay. I used the wrong word. Okay. Look, do I think you're nice? Of course. Do I love, you know, seeing you help everyone out?

Yes. Am I attracted to you despite the fact that it's like talking to a six year old? Yes. Am I concerned about this? Yes. Do we have a therapist in town? Only Dr. Dottie. Am I concerned about going to her for therapy? Perhaps. Is she my only option? This is my life. Okay. This is my life.

So she was like, this is the reason I can't say love because my life is a mess. I don't take care of my house. I don't take care of my butt. I don't even You should see the state of my butt. I have a bidet. I don't even use it anymore. Charming bears. You don't understand. My body is dilapidated.

Oh, wow. I can really love someone right now because I'm not convinced. I figured out how to love myself without. Oh, you don't need to love yourself. I've never loved myself. I can love anybody. Put a pin in that. She also says, even if you even if you were the person I loved, you're my tenant.

I went, no tenants pay rent. Not necessarily. Suddenly she has like a moral code about the people that crash on her bed and like learn skills from the TV. It's so weird. But she was talking about, I can't convince someone because I'm, I can't, I can't convince myself. I can't con I can't love myself without Paul. Um, it's like, who's Paul? You know, um, you know, there was like an earlier draft where it was merely that she was the landlord and he was the tenant and the mayor was cracking down on housing codes, but now the mayor's gone and the landlord situation's gone. So,

but that was like a remnant that just floated through. She goes, I'm getting grief counseling from a snowman. What a bitch. So Jack's like, you know, I've got to thank Paul. I think Paul that Paul probably saw the same amazing person that I see. And I got to think he wouldn't want this amazing person to think that she's anything that's an amazing amazing. You deserve a gold star. Oh, why is he acting like this?

It's just so weird. Just put on a diaper. You little wow. It's fetish and weird. I don't like it It's I just don't believe anyone could love me as much as Paul loved me I'll tell you Paul loved me more than he hated Nancy Pelosi I gotta say I don't think anyone can love me as much as double stuffed Oreos and a glass of milk That's love to me, bitch.

There have only been two men who've shown me consistent love, Ben and Jerry. Okay? Nothing better from the rest of you. So now they're driving back, they're driving home after this moment. And then he's like, stop, stop, stop, the new glass is here. And he jumps out of the car and she's like, what are you talking about? Because the thrift store, whatever, reclaimed rags is getting a new glass.

Rambling rags, yeah, whatever. They really expedited that glass because I don't think glass takes that, is that correct? Yeah, they had, that would have been like a really large, they would have had to make that glass specifically. Also, yeah. Some Amazon shit. That would take a while. He large, they would have to make that glass specifically. Also, yeah. Some Amazon shit.

That would take a while. He's helping them put it up. And I just want to say this, installing glass is very difficult and it is a skill. It is not something you can learn from HGTV. They never, and I watch- Not that you want a snowman doing. Yes, I watch a lot of, I'm an HGTV bitch.

I watch half of those shows. I love them Never do they install fucking a huge glass pane window because that's something for professionals. Yeah, thank you Thank you for finally advocating for window professionals It's about time somebody stood up for those people We about time we do find out that he says About time somebody stood up for those people. It's about time. We do find out that he says, I ordered it from the store. And she, and we also realized he doesn't know how money works.

So this is the other thing. He's not sure how currency, because he didn't pay for it. But he learned how to order something on the internet. Yes. But he doesn't know, I don't know, did he learn to fart? Or is he using opera or Firefox? Like what's the use? How did he get all the passwords to put in there without a fingerprint or something?

I mean, whatever. But he doesn't have fingerprints. But he doesn't have fingerprints, so he can't. Well, honestly, like knowing Kathy, she probably has a really sad password. It's probably just like Paul. Oh. Oh.

It is just Paul. All lowercase. Yeah. That's so sad. So he's like, watch her type it in. So he's like, he's a they're they're confessing. He's confessing to the store owner all of this stuff. And there's kind of looking at him going, yeah, OK. And they're like, keep the clothes. No one can be mad at Christmas. And then I went, he did it more

than you have a problem. I'm so sorry. And they didn't notice the scarf. They didn't even fucking notice. Oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. The scarf at this moment. Yes. Because that would have been a moment where male could have gone to Lacey and said, I saw the scarf. And then she'd be pale to pale. The whole movie for me. She was, yes. That she, like, she was fucked by Frosty when she was 20 years old and it's the

best snowcock she ever had. She's like, you may not remember us, but I remember you. Yeah, no, no remember us, but I remember you. Yeah, he fucked her and froze all of her vaginal warts all in one hit. Oh, right. Good Lord. So then, so yeah, she didn't give a fuck this lady and then she's like, Hey, wait a second. So you stole it's like, yeah, she's like, Oh, that's cool. You're hot.

And he's like, wait a minute, but I didn't pay for that either. She's like, we literally don't care. We're hippies. He's like, yeah, she's like, oh, that's cool. You're hot. And he's like, wait a minute, but I didn't pay for that either. She's like, we literally don't care. We're hippies. He's like, oh, okay. We never liked those galoshes. This is a front. This is a front. Yeah.

It feels like it's a front for just like, it is, it is a front. It is a swingers. Yeah. So Kathy is watching him in the store. And then all of a sudden the deputy sheriff, Ed, he like sneaks up and then they have this comic thing where like he's like looking for Jack and she's going to try to distract him.

And she's like, Oh, come with me over here. Come to my come to my diner. She comes to the dimer because they want they really want to get a. Oh, there was a sketch. OK, at the. OK, there was a police sketch that was made. I don't think it was actually gave the description because of an Ethel. Like the sketch would have been way hotter.

Yeah, the sheriff gave us a description, but we needed something of his face. It looked terrible. This guy had like, he looked, it was like dark circles under his eyes. His hair was crazy. And then he looked the way you guys described him in the opening of this movie, actually. Well, then because it's like your friend, like he's about to die, guys. The way you guys describe this poor person, it's meant to be going away. Were you giving the description to the sketch artist? Yeah, Iggy Pop has popped Iggy Pop.

Yeah, he's giving a lot of Iggy Pop in this moment. So so she distracts him because she's like, I like this moment. She's dragging him into this. She wants to distract him away from Jack. So she's going to bring him into the diner and she goes, hey, how does a bowl of soup sound? And Ed starts going, this was so weird. And I was like, what's happening?

What? This was a weird comic. This didn't land. This landed for me very much so. Oh, it did. So he was like, what's happening? What? This was a weird comic. This didn't land. This landed for me very much so. Oh, it did. So he was like, what are you doing? I think he's like, oh, this is what a bowl of soup sounds like. Yeah, I have to say, I think I have the state. Wasn't he wasn't he in the state or? Yeah, he was in the states. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm glad you like for me. I thought it was hot. This movie could have used what's her name. Who's also in the state, who's in Reno 911 Kerry Kinney. Yeah. Yeah. This movie has really weird character actors. We could have used more weird character actors. I know I'm going to say this. My theory is that she had Lauren Holly's role and then she had the dropouts. They got Lauren Holly because her role is actually a Kerry Kinney role. If you think about it, it is we have an announcement to the audience. Ronnie is getting furniture delivered.

So he will be away from us for the next five minutes of the recording. So it will just be us soldiering on without him during this very important movie. He's like one of the one of the maintenance men. He died on the bridge. He died on the bridge. Missing in action. Yes. Okay. So, so Kathy brings, uh, Ed into the, into the restaurant and she alert, she lures him in with promises of chowders and beef barley soups. So this is true. So then, um, then the sheriff walks in and he see, he goes up to the thrift store and he's like, well, the new glass looks good, but don't worry, we'll find out who broke in because you can replace glass, but you can't replace the pain to which Mel says we actually didn't replace the pain.

We have a whole new pan glass here. Yeah. Pain. P-A-I-N. Yeah. I'm gonna replace pain. It's just, I gotta say this was, this was Mel's big comic moment.. It's just, I got to stay. This was this was Mel's big comic moment. You know, this I got to say in a in a Hallmark movie, this this interchange would not have happened. And it was helped by I don't know if this was written or what or or they just played. I can't believe a moment like this. It's totally not like the rest of the script.

I can't maybe it was improvised or I don't know. But yeah, because he goes, no pain, PAIN, like pain, like the pain you feel. And she goes, well, why would I want to replace? Yes. She's like, oh, she gets very, I loved it. Very, it's a metaphor. Okay. I'm just trying to have a scene here. So Lord, like, oh, it's a metaphor.

I know what I meant. What's important is, OK, leave the metaphors around here to me. Yeah. And by the way, who installed this glass? Because I'm I'm I'm carrying out a very important investigation about. Well, there are a lot of shots of him holding it going like a lot. So clearly he did, but there was no one else. You didn't see anyone else do it. Yeah. So she's like, you know, Jack did it, Kathy's friend. And he's like, well, I wonder why he would do that. I have to say, this is not great police work. I feel like this is no, this is, these are not hot leads. I would say, no, no, it's very shoddy. It's again,

again, if there was a gay man who made the snowman who is out for snow vengeance, he would then put in the sheriff's ear to say, look, maybe the, maybe the gay, the gay man is the mayor. The gay man is the mayor. And that would that would work for me. Listen, Sheriff, if you want to be up for election in six months, you better find this. I find my snow hunk because I got to ride that snow dick

like a fucking hollybell before New Year's Eve. Like a sheriff is just like really driven to get, make sure there's no crime in this town whatsoever. We don't know why he's driven by this, but he is determined. I mean, these people don't even want to press charges. They don't care. No. The storyline has actually been settled. The entire arc of this story it's done.

He already confessed. They said no big deal. Have a great day. The movie basically is over. Yes. The movie is over. Um, then he's decorating for this dance and then he sees this kid asking, trying to ask another girl to the dance. And I said, who the fuck are these people? I know. And I was kind of like in this weird chair. So is that the chair scene? Yes. Yeah. This is a throne. He's sitting in this weird throne. So he's kind of hidden from these two kids that are asking. We've never seen these two teenagers. Yeah. Forever. Was this like these the kids? He there was a

moment during the montage where he introduces someone to someone. Maybe he introduced these two people together. It was so slight. Something like that. But it was it was very little. And her name, by the way, she's never named. Her name is Katie, like in Mean Girls. Oh, yeah. Same spelling.

C-A-D-Y. K-A-D-Y. So he's so what was his name? Here's the thing. His name is Matthew. Oh, yeah, it was. They didn't want to push it. So they didn't want to push it. So they didn't want to get sued.

Yeah. So he's sitting in this, in this throne kind of thing that kind of like hides him and he's clearly about to overhear something. So you think, Oh, he's going to overhear something that's going to move the plot forward. Right? No, it's just him asking her to the dance. It's one child asking another child if they want to dance and then they hold hands and walk out. And so he's like, oh, okay, I've learned how to ask some cool, cool. Now I

got asked how he knows how to ask someone because he would never know. They just should have. Why couldn't they just shown a fucking Christmas Netflix movie of him watching someone ask someone out that they've been doing because they only did that twice. And if they really wanted to do a correct callback, that would have been a perfect third moment for that clip. But instead of a location, this guy never read truth and comedy fucking

ever. But also, like, how about have the student ask him be like, Hey, hey, Jack, there's a girl I like, I want to ask her out. How do I do that? He's like, Well, I don't really know. Great idea. Let's watch a Netflix movie. And then they like and then like he guides the kids he's kind of more. This is great. And then it's sweet and it's lovely. And then he like gets inspiration. He's like, well, if the kid can do it, I should be able to do it too.

But he just, he just lingers in a random throne that makes no sense. I don't know why that throne is part of the middle school dance decor, but it's there. He's hiding in it and he overhears and decides he wants to do the same thing. Sidebar. Have your middle school dance ever been that elaborate? Oh my God. It was, it was just like, you go to a community house and then they play like CNC music factory and like the boy dance here, the girls dance here and he'd make us weird.

We had a pretty elaborate one once. Our theme was Whites and Nights, Nights and White Satin. I'll never forget it. And the decorations were incredible. And I still can't think of that song without being kind of traumatized, because I'm not going to that. But then I saw everybody going, and I was like,

wow, it's so glamorous. I could have worn a ball gown, and I just gave it up for what, to sit at home and watch Facts of Life again? Nothing what satin. I just gave it up for what to send it home and watch facts of life and game. I just listened to that song yesterday. I used to be very coy at those dances. I would sit on the side and be like, I want someone to ask me, not realizing that like the way it works is the boy supposed to ask the girl. Yeah.

Oh no. See, I got very involved. I would plan to entertain because our prom was in the cafeteria. So which was a cafeteria slash auditorium. It's where we had choir practice, but sometimes it would get interrupted by the hotel. They didn't do it like it like a ballroom or something. No, because if you went off school campus, then Baptists would be worried we'd have sex. So they kept it all on campus.

But ours was hypnotized the moon, which was a Clay Walker country song. And I organized the entertainment and I was very involved in the entertainment. So I didn't have to worry about my date who wanted me to make out with her and go to an after party. And I was terrified that foolish girl. I was like, I can't, she said, do you want to come to the party? And I said, I said, I can't do that. I got to take down the choir, the choir steps.

And then I have to go to that, to the Lungro Baptist lock in, which was right across the locker room and white, watch the football team come back in. Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Oh God. The lock ins were the worst lockins. Mine was great because half the guys took off their shirts to play shirts and skin. It was the best fucking problem

I've ever had. I got robbed. What the hell? Yeah. We just, we just would, we just hid in, hid in different rooms of ours and just hope people wouldn't find her. I went to find her. Hope you wouldn't find her. What's going on in your church lock in? And we just had bodies all the time. Oh, Ben, we get locked into the church.

It's this basically so you can kind of supervise each other and you want to make it because idle hands each other. I'm sorry. And you wish you don't understand this weird shit. Yeah, I don't know any of this. And usually it was a church. You kind of got locked in with the church. They would often do carnival games like a cornhole or like and then church leaders are there you would get a prize and then they proselytize you and you learned about religion. It's like salesmen for

Jesus to kids like they put all the kids in a church and locked them in. It sounds like it sounds like a timeshare experience. Kind of. Yeah it was a a soul share. Give up your soul to them and your parents give them 10% of what they make. I went to one and it was like a new place. My mom wanted us to go with some neighborhood kids and or like country club kids or whatever. And she put us in there. We'd never been to this church. It was like a new lock in thing. So we go in there and they're like, guys, we are no longer going to have this youth group. And the kids were like, what? But why? Because you are getting too far from Jesus Christ. You are straying. We have heard that you are kissing. We have heard that you are going to parties, Pastor Curveview. This is not what we do here. This

is not what we do. And they're like sobbing. And then all the kids around us started. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The fuck out of here and we couldn't we were stuck with these crazy crying idiots all night long. Yeah, they like me. The other kids were like fuck this. Please tell me you follow Christopher Ryan Stamey on Instagram or tick tock. So have you seen that he's a southern guy that does these different voices of people that he he does the church. He does the wigs and he does the church lady that always cries

during the announcements. She's like, and every, I just want to let everybody know that we need to park behind the church tonight because brother Timothy has got his cancer treatment and you know that van doesn't fit if we're parked there and it's amazing. It's so good. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing.

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Yeah, are we are we to the point where he's walking in the police station? I don't know where to. He was at the police station. And so the sheriff has put up yarn all over the board like this Obviously detective style and he's like it's a tangled web and I just need a bigger picture I just wish I had a photo of Jack. He's in this somehow. I know it and Well, because you know what because earlier he had walked down the street and he had walked. I think he right before this he had walked by an ATM. This is where he walked by the ATM.

I think that was when he said there's the ATM machine. He says, yeah, oh yeah. I need that. Yeah, it was like all the cameras were off, but not the ATM. So now he has like a printout, but the printout is not good enough. Meanwhile, you're a police officer. You can literally just go find him and take a picture of him. But luckily he doesn't have to do that because Jack just shows up.

He's like, hey, what's going on? Hey, cool art picture, cool art project. You're just taking pictures of people in town. He's like, I am. Would you like me to take your picture? And he's like, yeah, let's do it. Yeah. This made me laugh. This was funny. This was, he's, he's got a flip phone. He's like, yeah,

from like an LG, like the LG I had in 2005. I don't get why he has a flip phone, but sure. So then he like, he's asking the deputy for advice because he's like, cause I've never been on a date before. And I'm like, cause you were born like four days ago and he's like, how can you date you're a 10? And then we have this discussion about what it is like. Yes. And I'm not on your level.

And he's like, are you kidding? Your smile, your mustache. And they got this whole thing about pockets. And he goes, it really hugs your chest. And he basically says- He does says those brown, he says, quote, those brown lapels emphasize your chest. I don't know how he knows what lapels are again,

but whatever. Well, he was watching like the DIY channel. So I think it's a good chance. You could pick that up. I don't think they talk about lapels on hometown. They should. They should. And Ed at this point is thinking like, do I have a shot with this guy?

I know. Like the text. In a long time. He's like, I'm thinking about it. Okay, did y'all? And so then he says, I don't know what to do about kissing. And he kind of is explaining how to kiss. I don't know if it's because I'm a flaming homosexual

But I think just for the for the plot I really wanted him to kiss a little bit and this guy to fall in love with her wacky This was their wacky like well, let's make a game like a game Insinuation scene I know and that was so stupid and I'm like if they actually had kissed because that would have been much more, that would have been much better. Yeah. Why does the snowman, why does the snowman need to be straight? Yeah.

That's what I was saying at the beginning. This should be a gay man who's like learning to, who's like very cold on the inside. And I'm like, I'm available. And then Laura Holly and her posse of, of middle-aged women could watch and say, well, ladies, I guess we should have known this would happen to the martinis. You know, it would have been great. Yes. Um, he, what, what the, what the deputy tells, but if you're having, how does it, here's how you date. If you're having fun and you're paying attention, if she's having fun, you're going to be okay. Yeah. That is the date philosophy. And that's when they, and that's when they're they're practicing, then they start practicing dancing and the sheriff says,

like, what in the world is going on in this town? By the way, the sheriff deputy is named Ed Schatz. I personally think Detective Schatz, I think they should have kissed. I think they should have kissed. I think they should have kissed. He should have fallen in love with Jack Frost. And then sequel at the end of this movie, he realizes that's not the so he we see him making his own snowman with a twinkle in his eye and cut to hot frosty to with Chris Evans. He was the one who made it. So now back to Kathy's house. I loved this moment.

Please tell me you guys all noticed this. We go back to Kathy's house. Jack walks in or Kathy walks in. Someone walks in, but Kathy's like, Jack, I have the funniest story to tell you. Jack, what's going on? He's like, Hey, he's like, okay. So Mrs. Johnson ordered one special and he goes, sorry, sorry to interrupt. I know you were showing a glimmer of a personality,

but I have more pressing to talk about. Mrs Robinson was ordering the special, you know, it was a terrible story to he's like, I was only about three or four days old, but even I've learned even I was checking out during that I can't listen to to your Mrs. Johnson stories, okay? I can't have this, if I swear to God, if there's not one more Mrs. Johnson story. I'm going to throw myself in that fucking microwave. I can't take it.

I'm going to put a birthday candle in my head and light it. Every single thing has been about Jack and Jacqueline, and this, and that pizza this pizza about the oven. She finally has something to share about her life. He's like, yeah, nevermind. Anyway, I got something to talk to you about. She was so rude. And she's like, okay, I mean, I guess women are from Mars, men are from wherever the fuck.

And he's like, well, I'm just so nervous. But I want to say, well, you go to the schools, please miss dance with me. And she's like, what? You're going to a dance at a school? It's like, I'm the chaperone. It's like my job, Kathy. Want to go with me? She's like, oh, well, I, I have any like, you've probably been asked by someone. She's like, no, because I'm not in middle school. So it would not be normal for me to be asked to a middle school dance, but I don't date actual middle schoolers. Just, yeah, just mental ones. Yeah.

I don't have a date to the middle school because I'm an adult. Other activities. And she then he says, Kathy, I've been trying to lay low like you wanted. It's just so obvious that all. Oh, no, I haven't been asked. It's not because I'm lonely. It's just because I do things like read books or watch TV. I have a car I can drive. It says I can go shopping.

I can go check in to see if that bridge has been fixed. The last time I did it, a child was on accident because I ordered something named Claire on fucking Wayfair. I mean, Jesus Christ. Or no one asked you because you're a bitch. Got poor, poor cat. You know, it all comes out. Kathy can't win.

Oh, I'm sorry, Poodle. You were saying I was trying to do this dialogue that he this line that some that the screenwriter went, Oh, this is great. Yeah. He went, I've been trying to lay low like he wanted. But for once, I just want to stand tall with you. Even it's just one night, please. For once, he's been lighting up this town for five straight days and he's going to act like he's been laying low. Please, sir.

I want to stand tall with you. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know what that means. He's going to stand tall and stand proud because voices that care are voices that care are crying. I carry our crying. Oh, yeah. The the the I know it was in my head. Is it voices that care?

I believe I don't know. Dan, Dan, but when you sit, when you sit, stand tall, that was in my head. Isn't it voices that care? I believe. Voices that care. I don't know. Sand proud. But when you said, when you said, stand tall, that's where my head went. And I went, nobody else is going to know that. So I'm not going to sing it, but I wanted to.

So the fact that we all, Ronnie didn't know what the fuck we were doing. Ronnie had no idea. But the fact that you... I'm actually proud of myself. I'm actually proud of myself for being the least gay of all of us here. Stand proud.

Maybe. You sang that song. No. It was for Desert Storm and it was the great like sequel to Where Are The World and for Yeah, it was supposed to be that. Voices That Care by David Foster. So it was a Dave Foster song. Yeah.

The World sequel. I recently rewatched that like video like, I don't know, maybe two or three years ago. And the number that's not recently, honey. 15 years ago. Okay. And the assortment of celebrities that they gathered for this, this song is so hilarious. And I'll always remember Meryl Streep in the front just singing along. I think they had Celine Dion. They had like just some randos like Nelson, I think was in it. Weird. You know what, I don't really want to be famous, but I want to be famous to do stuff like that where I can just show up and do coke with a bunch of celebrities and lip sync.

Like Kim, Kim, Kim Karns got to be on We Are the World. She had one hit, Betty Davis Eyes. She got into We Are the World as a result of of it And now she gets to like when I watched that the greatest night in pop and they have like, you know All these huge stars Michael Jackson Kim Karns got she she was just struck a big at the right moment I right moment just enough to be part of she did she did have one song. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good one though Yeah, it is a good one. Any Davis eyes. Yeah. All right Okay, so she says yes and she's like So it is a good one. Eddie Davis size. Yeah. All right. All right. Yes. Okay. So she says yes.

And she's like, but Jack, what are you going to wear? Dude, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I went, when you first heard, I went, wait, this is a pond five. They looked up pretty woman. This is going to be a pond five song. No. As soon as Roy Orbison started singing, I got to say they spent three minutes of this movie doing this.

And I was shocked. And I also wagered there was probably 30 seconds of just clothes being slow-mo, throw up in the air. But I'd like to point out that they were all jacket all jacket based clothes and he never had a problem with that. Never had a problem with that. Never, never. Well that's what happens when you get great value Stanley Tucci.

And he was also. To be your designer. Because that's who that guy was. He was also wearing the scarf the whole time and it didn't go with any of the outfits. No, no the scarf came back and he was, I was hoping they were gonna give him like a haircut, like the proper makeover. No. But it's like well, it's just like watching him go to like, I don't know, like,

like Jose banks or something like whatever, like, and let us have the moment where he's kind of maybe a sloppy dress the whole time or kind of, and then they clean him up and she goes, Oh, I want it snow dick in me. Like at least have that moment. Looks the same Exactly, and they basically do the pretty woman. They do the pretty woman thing with the earrings and Sheets was it cufflinks? Yes. Yeah, they were that makes sense. Why you're so gay Where I thought no man Small town it like, why would he get a small town? That's good. Say the last part of your makeup is earrings.

It's no man earrings. That makes a lot better sense that they're couplings. I did not even think about him being committing couplings. And it's so excited. I literally I literally thought they were earrings, but either way, I don't know why she did the pretty woman gag with him. Is he like supposed to represent like, what is it? Is he a hooker?

I didn't really understand. He didn't know. He didn't know. Maybe he'd seen pretty woman in this time since I don't think he sleeps. I've got some glad. I still, I did think there were earrings. You know why? I think because I saw huge big mistake. I thought he I thought he was opening it like to give it to her for a minute.

But she was the one giving it to him. Oh, that's fucking stupid. She was like, here, the last piece, some negligee. Here the last piece some negligee So they do this whole thing like a water all over him just to get into like, you know a blazer and And then he's like learning how to do a bowtie and she's wearing a Dress like a perfectly. Okay. Okay. I and the three people to be well watches. This was some shitty ass dress. This was, this was nothing special.

It really didn't show off her boo or her body shape or it was just because she's so boring. She's just like, I'm going to wear what an adult would wear to a school, like a chaperone dance. You know, no, you're supposed to show up like it's your prom, you know, like you're supposed to like make it romantic. But she's like, I'm going to wear a sweater. He's like, wow, look at that dress. That's, that's not a, it's like not even a wow dress. It's a basic Amazon dress. Yes. It's like a slip dress or something. It's like, it's so it's just so unremarkable. But then I also would, if she wore like a beautiful,

beautiful dress to a middle school dance, I also would have some issues with that. Like, why are you trying to dress up? Well, she may be trampy, but at least she's making an effort, you know? Here's how I feel. I feel like this is kind of like a closeted gay relationship where it's like your first boyfriend,

and you're just so happy to have a boyfriend that you're like, Oh my God, your jogging pants are so fancy. Like I can't wait to go to the Olive Garden with you tonight. And then you go and you're like, this is it, you know, cause you're in your small town and you're like, he's so high. He's like the only gay guy here. I lucked out. And then you go to a place with a lot of gay people and you're like, fuck that guy. Was he in jogging pants and took me to an Olive Garden? Fuck him. I hope he dies on on fire. I think that frosty is gonna end up that way thinking about her that way like fuck that girl She was terrible. She wore a sweater to the dance Probably that that felt strangely like from your past

Yeah, I feel a lot of my grass blow about me You have an introduction so you never over it on breadsticks and olive garden. Cause you're day never at all. I don't know what you're talking about. So he's like, guess what? I got, remember how I bought that very expensive piece of custom glassware with your money credit card. Yeah. I also got you something.

Okay. Really like your money. Why wouldn't they have a scene where he goes in and tells Mel he wants to get her something special and Mel has a snowflake jewelry? It probably brings him to extra life. Then he just turned into two of himself. Yes. Well, here, here's what I'll tell him.

This is the error. Here's what I'll tell this lady, Kathy. Kathy, welcome to dating someone hotter than you. This is your life now. The gift is her abs. That's it. You ain't going to get no more gifts. I brought you gifts with your credit card. Here you go.

He goes, well, I just figured it might be nice to commemorate our time together. It's a snowflake because I'm a snowman. And I swear to God, I thought he was going to say it because I'm a snowflake. I've been doing a lot of, I've been watching a lot of Fox news and I'm really triggered by all this. The next thing is he gives it to her and like she he he like we had this moment where he might do something but he like oh and he like touches her breasts and like moves it over. Oh my god because okay so because she puts on this no the snowflake the necklace has a big snowflake pendant she puts it on and the pendant is up at the top of her clavicle to the left and he's like hold hold on Let me fix that for you

You mean to tell me this woman who is 42 years old and has worn jewelry all her life did not realize her heavy ass Like she was just gonna walk out of the house like that he's like wait a second But this idea that he would be if he even he hasn't kissed her if he's don't he would be okay with actually touching the area near her breast be, if he, even if he hasn't kissed her, if he's, he would be okay with actually touching the area near her breast. Well, he wouldn't know he's a snowman. He was naked the whole time. He doesn't have any modesty.

That's the thing. It's there's, there's, those are some doctor hands too, by the way, because he's got that cold body temperature. That's like a doctor. Yeah, that's also something that's super weird. In the beginning, he was ice cold, but now it's like nice when he touches you. It's weird. So then she's like all, she loves a necklace and then someone's like, Hey, are you ready

for later? Let's do our secret dabs. So they do the dab thing and they're going to have a secret dance later, guys. It's going to be majestic. Did y'all notice that I only did it because there was close captioning. The song that was playing was actually written down, Gold dust on the ground, night's half over now, Soft touch, open hands, love won't understand. It was actually one loop here in the the wicked movie, but I have no idea what any of that means.

And why is it being played in a middle school dance? At least it wasn't you in your face. You in your face. I'm gonna fuck your stupid face. Have you listened to music on the tick tock? I have. It is some face. Have you listened to music on the TikTok? I have, it is. I'll take some poetry. So you're right.

So Brandon, the teacher there, I forgot who he was. He's the son of Lauren Hawley, I believe. The son of Lauren Hawley. And there's another girl there. He's like, ready? And that's when you said they did the, then that's what she's like, and they're gonna do their group dance.

And Brandon's like, we love him. We never you're, they're going to do their group dance. And brand is like, we love him. We never did a background check, but the kids love him too. See it. I see him sitting, sitting on their, his laps all the time. It's really interesting. Yeah, it's really great. Yeah, we have this like slow dance moment where they're going to be like, so like, because the two kids that they go, they have like a slow dance. And then, and by the way,

learning that the boy is the son of the sheriff and the sheriff is not even chaperoning this guy, the sheriff who cares so much about crime, you would think he would be like, I don't want my son getting up to any funny business, no touching at the middle school dance. He would be footloosing. Yeah. Also this dance was trash and I'm not a great dancer, but I would do better than this. dance was trash. And I'm not a great dancer, but I would do better than this. This was trash.

Well, they didn't even play the music. I was like, what is the music playing? It was like in an echo chamber. I think they played the music live and they didn't like have a voiceover of the music. So we, the audience couldn't really hear the music. It was just some weird thing that it was not, it was a badly done musical number and I love a musical number. Yes. It was a strange group dance, I think solely so that way it could be put in the trailer

maybe, but it was bizarre. But then Jack is dancing so hard that he starts to sweat and then he's going, he's going to, he's going to die. He's going to dance to death. Well, Lacey looks, looks at ice sculpture and she sees the ice sculpture melted and she goes, Oh no, that's too dumb to understand what the temperature is. Oh, wow. That's where I get hotter. Is it cold in here? I don't know. That's where sculpture, I believe in her head. That is what she's decided that he became a snowman. That that was the moment where she said, oh, he needs to be outside because he's an actual snowman. Yeah, she needed the literal snowman.

She needed the actual literal snowman to figure that out. Well, and also you told her at the beginning of the stance, he pointed to the snowman and said, look like somebody you know. That's right. He also drew a small snowman and said, look like somebody you know. That's right. He also drew a small snowman too in the doctor's office. If you remember that and said, look. Yes, you did.

Commissions. Here comes one right now. They do this whole like flash mob thing, whatever. And so she's like, okay, you gotta come on out. I just want to tell you something. Why? Sorry. I know this is 10 hours. They're working in here right now removing a hot tub that was leftover from the last house. And they're like, we got it. We got it. It's no problem. I said, have you ever done it? And they're like, no, but I'm sure it's totally fine. Nothing to worry about.

Please just go do your work and don't worry about this. So I come back up here, I have this ring camera and it keeps giving notifications and you just see them running back and forth. It's like, ding, and you just see a little guy running. Oh no, something's going terribly wrong on your repeat. Something's going terribly wrong, Ronnie. Whatever. At some point you just get used to it. It's every day.

Oh God. All right, sorry to interrupt you. At some point you just get used to it. It's every day. It's always a semester. Oh, God. All right, sorry to interrupt you. He basically says, let's go outside for some air. She says, and she's like, I've never had so much fun. Dancing is so great. Life is so great. And she's like, oh, I'm just cold out here.

Just miserable. Like, it just throws cold water on everything. And he's like, he starts rubbing her shoulders like, does that feel good? Yeah. If you had a normal body temperature, bitch. Yeah. No kidding. She's like melting him to death. I didn't say that. Keep rubbing. Ah. Like it's worth it.

I like the new character. Yeah, I like that. Me just really yells and screams. I feel like you're the end of her. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. And then he's like, you know what? Let's, let's get you inside. Little lady princesses shouldn't be out in the cold. Yeah. So fine. So then they go inside, then they go inside because they're about to kiss. They're about to kiss. They're about there. They're about to

kiss. And he's like, no, no, let's get you back inside. We shouldn't be making out at a middle school dance. So then she's like, was it, was it something you said? Everything you said? Well, it's certainly nothing you did. I mean, it's like everything you said and everything you did. There's nothing to keep me here, but he gets all emo and runs inside and she's like, was it something I said? And he's like, no, I mean, it was your breath, but still this has been the best night of my life. But the truth is, I can't do this to you because I know what you know what it's like to be

left behind. You're still going to die and leave her behind, whether you fuck her or not. You may as well leave her with the pain. Before I fall in love with you, I can't do... What a fucking Capricorn. Yeah, you fucking tease, okay? This is fuck boy behavior. It is. it totally is.

Literally, yeah. He's learning, he's learning quickly, I'll give him that. Yeah, it is fuck boy behavior. You may be a snowman, but at the end of the day, you still a man, you see? So she goes, it's okay, you know, for someone who has no relationship experience,

you're one heck of a romantic. And he goes, I thought you weren't to hug her. And she goes, I'm making an exception. I'm not going to lie. I got really horny just now. Let's take this to the next level. But then check the janitor's closet. The shaft music happens and the sheriff is back.

To to see, uh, he sees that's one. That's when he sees the ATM. Oh, this is one of those cause he's just running's when he sees the ATM. Oh, this is what it is. Cause he's just running back and forth on the video. No, they got it. They're good. They're good, man. So he's, that's right. Cause before he was just taking a picture

cause he just wanted a picture of Jack for no good reason. But now he's walking and he's like trying to figure out this. He's trying to figure out this crime. He's like, who are you? Some youthful prankster, you deviant, stimulated by the freezing cold, your naked fleshed lawn. You see the face of the elderly horrified by your exposed nether regions.

Oh, hi, sorry, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, hi. So then he is looking around the scene of the crime and he's like, you like that art, don't you, monster? And he comes across the ATM and he's like, wait a minute,

if that has a camera on it, I got you now, you son of a bitch. So I was thinking, oh my God, he's going to get him turning into a snowman because if he has a camera and it's pointed right at where he was the statue, he's going to see him turn into a snow. From a snowman. No, it's just him streaking. Again, he would have seen him turn into a snowman and then he would have gone to the ... Ronnie, you missed this. We decided that the gay villain is also the mayor and the mayor is making him find the

snowman. He would have gone back and said, no, he's a good snowman. And the gay queen says, let's have hair, you little bitch. You're going to get out of here. You're going to put it in jail and then I'm gonna fuck a snow dick. Now let me say something. Shade button.

I would like to say something. This sheriff has enough connections and wherewithal to be able to pull a video from an ATM, which means you have to go through certain processes, fill out some forms. And yet he does not have the ability just to go into Kathy's diner, which is where Jack is currently in the kitchen cooking up food. So Jack is there, like that all he has to do is walk in there, but Jack is there. And he's making eggnog for the diner and or the cafe, I should say. And he's got fans all on him in the kitchen because it's hot in the kitchen to keep him cold.

And he's like, I want to bring this egg nog out to the people. And she's like, but it's hot. It's hot in the dining room. She's like, I know, but I just want to say hi to everyone. No, anybody but you. The stakes are so high right now, guys. He's going to risk his life for that egg nog. Uh, she says then, um then she's like, everyone, this has become my favorite tradition the night before Christmas. So now we know where we are.

Family. So apparently everyone's just here on Christmas Eve. We're just a family co-workers. She's making her fucking people work. And no one's there with their No one's there with their families. Fuck that. This is why no one likes this lady. I'm telling you. You're gonna fill up my coffers.

The reason my whole town's there is because they have a family member that she's forcing to work there. They're like, okay, I guess we'll just do Christmas at the sweet potato bitch's place. Well, we have family and friends and co-workers and then the sheriff comes out of the bathroom and goes, and criminals, we've all been wondering who committed the crimes.

And that's when Lauren Holly's like, was he wearing sunglasses in the bathroom? That was great. I swear to God, I don't know if that was written or not. But damn. And Kathy's like, wait a minute, how long have you been in the bathroom? I feel like he wants to make an entrance. He's like, enough you guys. I'm out here every day working for you, keeping you safe. And what do I get? Never a thank you.

Always a giggle, a patronizing remark. Since I've been sheriff, we haven't had a single murder at Hope Springs. And they're like, well, we've never had a murder. Mel's like, we haven't had anything in a hundred years. There's 34 people here. And it's Mel who's saying it. She's like, we haven't even had a murder in a hundred years. Bullshit. You probably killed whoever you got that scarf off of.

And that's why it's still under. And Glacey Shabera says, it's Christmas Eve. And what? And Craig takes his glasses. And this is where he should have looked at the camera because he says crime doesn't take a holiday. This was a direct camera address moment. Yeah. He should have looked at the camera because he says, crime doesn't take a holiday. This was a direct camera address moment. Yeah, he should have done that. I would have loved that.

This is where to me, this is where he Jack says, it's okay. Me saying sorry, it's not enough. This is where for me and Ronnie, this activated my part of my brain where this is like Jesus being taken in, like being arrested and saying, Oh, guys, I'm doing this for you. So Craig Robinson is Pontius Pilate. Yes. Yes, exactly.

Okay. Yeah. Right. And I think either that or he's the one. And I think she's of course, Mary Magdalene. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's she course Mary Magdalene. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And she should be Judas though.

Yeah, he is. I'm sorry Christ, I betrayed you. So Jack is like, I broke the law. I got three dollars for charging extra at your non-normal bank. Oh God, what will I do now? charging extra at your non-normal bank. You're on 30 pieces of stuff. Oh God, what will I do now? I'm going to go to the hand myself with the other AMs, ADMs. Jack is like, listen, I broke the law.

I have to accept the consequences. They're like, well, the consequences are that you're being arrested for lewd behavior and you're going to be on the sexual predators list. Okay, you know what? Actually, I'm going to rethink this for a moment. And males like, he's different than us. He's different than us. He can't be in a prison. And then you see, did you see like the one black man extra in the back who is dabbing his eyes? Cause apparently this is making him cry. Y'all the extra, the extra works, extra work was giving on this. I mean, it was just mugging. There was also a really pasty bald white guy in the front who just kept going,

Darn it. Yes. I encourage people watch the scene, but then go back and just watch the extras, which is what we did because we were starting to get high at this point when I was watching the movie and we laughed and laughed because it is it is Ardmore little theater extra. Wow. That is that is a level. Also. Yeah. So, you know, so Mel is like, you know, he's he's different from us. This is Mel's the thrift shop lady. And then Nicole, I guess Nicole is the waitress. I think I don't remember who Nicole is. She goes, what do you mean different? And then Dottie, Dr. Dottie, he runs off of three martinis and five egg nogs,

steps forward and goes, well, he's a snowman that magically came to life. Remember that muscular snowman from the snow sculpture festival? Remember the one all of you, I know this group of ladies remembers it. I'm a doctor. She said, I'm a doctor.

I'm gonna see y'all at the QAnon meeting next week. I'll be there. So, Dottie says this legitimately crazy thing. Oh, he's different because he's a snowman that magically came to life. And everyone goes, Oh, Jane goes, I thought he looked familiar. That explains why he's so comfortable without a shirt on. Okay, this all makes sense. She's like, what the hell? everybody believes that he's a snowman. They're like, it's Christmas girl. She goes, it's Christmas. And that's when I went, that's when I metaphorically threw up all my papers.

Well, Mel says to her, she says, well, a man that sweet has got to be magic. Don't you think? And then I thought, no, that's fair. That's when I would believe because men are pigs and fucking assholes. And so I don't believe that. I don't want to get maybe a snowman. He is a snowman.

And she's like, you're right. He is a sweet man. In fact, that reminds me. I've got to tell you the story, Jack. He's like, sorry to interrupt. I don't care about your story. I am very sweet. Oh, then.

So later on, it's just where he's being fingerprinted. And it's like, you burned your prints off. He has no fingerprints. Yes. So it's hot. And so he's like sweating and he was like, he was like, you burned your prints off. And Jack is like, no, I was born like this. And then Lady Gaga enters, makes a surprise cameo dance break.

It was one. I could afford it. I'm sorry. I would sing, but I'm an actor now. Oh, so yeah, this whole like hand wringing over, what's going on with the snowman? So then of course she comes in and she's like, you better let my man go, please, please don't crucify him. And he's like, oh, he's gonna say he showed his wiener

to people behind a scarf, but still. She's like, please, no. He's like, you better't crucify him. And he's like, oh, he's gonna say he showed his wiener to people behind a scarf. But still, she's like, please, no. He's like, you better give me the bill of $2,000. Well, also when Kathy storms in to confront the sheriff, she goes, Nathan Aloysius Hunter. Yeah, he doesn't say that. Again, I don't know where this guy gets his names, but sure. And the sheriff is now losing his mind because he's like, he's a sleeper agent.

Yes, everyone's gone nuts. It's really so she's like, okay, it feels great. But then when you think about it makes sense. Yeah. So then she's like, fine, I'm gonna go to the restaurant. I'm gonna see if I've got two grand in the safe, which I probably do, since I'm the only business that seems to be operating in the town. I'll be right back. Right back.

I definitely will. You should make that in a night. That's the thing. That would have been in your fucking tail. You're not spending any money on repairs. So yeah, let me guess your sweet potato pie sucks. Yeah. Your car is from 1977. Your stair would have still be broken if it were not for a match. You're a miser. Yeah, you're not you're not doing anything. You got money. Okay. He says I'm going Craig. Craig Robb. The sheriff says I'm going home. You can bail him out on the 26th. That is the cruelest thing possible.

She's like, no, no. And she says, you're lucky I don't lock you up. And then, and then, because Christina, you better make a fucking meme of this for our shit, for our social media. It's Craig Robinson says, hell, we might make a podcast out of this. You're welcome show. You are welcome. We just did it. Only five hours long. We did it. She's like, you're lucky I don't punch you in the face, but I haven't punched anyone in the face since my husband died. I'm sorry. What did he die again? A bruise. A bruise. Cancerous bruise. Very cancerous bruise. After he fell down the stairs, the cancer stairs. Exactly. And I think they killed their husband and the owl attacked her.

Yeah, I will attack him. Yeah. The Jack is very ill. He is jacking. Yeah, he's dying and everything. And Kathy's like, he needs ice water. He's sweating. He's like, well, sleeper agents are trained to regulate their body functions.

Not my problem. He has actually lost his mind at this point. He thinks that he's a sleeper agent who, like Russia, who was going to help the United States by breaking glass and shrieking. Yes. Yes. So Kathy's like, I don't think I thought this through, but just in case I don't make... I'm sorry, Jack is saying this. He's like, in case I don't make it, in case I die here in this jail cell, like so many other heroes of saying this. He's like, in case I, in case I don't make it, in case I die here in this jail cell,

like so many other heroes of this country. She's like, no, listen. Still the other snowman. Yes. She was like, save your just in cases. I'll be right back. She runs back to the restaurant and she looks and she doesn't have enough money, but she's going to try it anyway.

And he's like, I will not take your less than two thousand dollars. And guess what happens? The entire town shows up and they're like, you are a prisoner. They say, give us Barabbas. Give me copper. Give me death. So then she goes back to the diner. Well, she goes back to the actually she doesn't even bring up the just in rally the town, which is, by the way, how shitty she is. She's like,

hold on, I'll get the I'm going to go to where the entire town is. And I'm going to find my money. And she goes, she doesn't have enough money. She doesn't even ask anyone to help out. So she comes back. She's like, I've got $84. He's like, well, that's not enough. And then but then the town is like, no, no, no, because doesn't the town come out? Don't they like, town comes out and they're rallying around her and they're starting to put all this money and they put it in a hat. And then because he's a cheap motherfucker, he's sitting there actually counting the money

in the hat. And he says, you're $10 short, the child arrived turns out the child is the son is a twist has very little anything to do with anything. And, and he's like, come on here, dad, what a lip dick of a story. And so then he's like, I'm helping. He's like, what are you doing? What are you doing here? He's like, I'm helping dad. It's like, and then the sharpest like this man did a bad thing. He's asleep. Ration from Russia. Because get a little bit of a job. Good Lord. Because he's my friend.

He said, well, you shouldn't be friends with adults like that. So I would reconsider that if I were you. So they finally get him out and then Jack comes out, but it's too late, guys. Jack dies. He dies in the snow. He comes out. He's like, oh, you know, they lay him down in the snow, in the snow bank on the side of the police station.

So that way the cold brings him back to life. But it's too late. They lay him down in the snow, on the snowbank on the side of the police station, so that way the cold brings him back to life. But it's too late. He's dead. I wish she would have actually melted like that person that drinks the wrong goblet in Indiana Jones, that woman. The budget would have never done that. But here's what I love.

They leave him on the snowbank. They realize it's too late. He's gone. He's dead. The doctor goes Kathy. He's gone Yeah, they're like to leave him Kathy step away. We're leaving now They just leave him on the The entire town is like, just eating. A dead body, they leave a carcass on the side of the police station to go back to Kathy's to finish the church high.

And the most unrealistic thing here is that nobody was like, hey, wait a minute, give me my money back. No. Oh yeah. Well, Mortimer did want his money back. Mortimer tried to con some money back. He did. He did.

Yeah. Well, that's good. Good for him. He's like, my wife almost fucked that dead person. I want my 20 back at the very least. So she does. She kisses him, then takes the scarf. Then he's awake. Well, because they also want you because the kiss was the magic because of life like Sean saying, I got to say, whenever the everybody's walking away from him and then you hear Kathy and the entire town again, like community theater goes and all turn to look at him.

And I lost all agreed. We all agreed. No one say her name today. Who said her name? Who was that? Oh my God, it was Jack. We forgot to tell Jack about the rule. Don't say got these names today. Well, Jack is still with us. We don't know why. And guess what? He's not only back to he's not only reanimated. He feels hard and he feels his skin hurts.

It feels it's he feels his skin hurts. It feels it's stiff. He's uncomfortable. It's stiff down there. Yeah. He's like, my nuts are like, they're up in my throat right now. My skin hurts. She's like, you're cold.

Oh, he's cold. He's cold. I'm not the only frigid person in this relationship anymore. Okay. I love you. I love you. And Mortimer's like, I'm cold. She's like, shut up.

The fuck up Mortimer and then we and then we get born to do do do do. So he became a real man. All because he's a cold place song. Yeah, cold. Oh, get it. Cold play. Cold. I just got. Wow. So apparently.

So we have a nice little Pinocchio twist here. And I know I would have been cheaper. They should have. Yeah, they really they should have done it. That is a vaudeville joke, and I respect that joke. What about anything by ice spice? Come on. I spice something that's too edgy. They couldn't have gotten her. Yeah, they would never. But so now he's like, he is now like,

not only is he now warm blooded, but he also lost all of his skills. Cause now Kathy is doing the repair. Did you guys notice at the very end when they kiss that become a real man, he's like, not exactly the doctor kisses the teacher and then everyone else starts kissing. Like in the background, everyone now it's like broken the curse. Now everyone can fuck everybody. Everyone can fuck. Well, love is an illness. We should spread it, y'all. Do you notice he inscribes that book that he that that that that that book with with that says home repairs and he says

I know who your second love should be. It's you yourself. Oh God. Don't do that. I hated that. What a fucking I hated that. And does this mean you're cheating already or what? He's like, guess what?

I'm not going to love you, but you should love yourself. Okay. You should repair yourself. I have to. By the way, what's the name of the what's the name of the woman? Something mixing? What's her, what's her Katie mixing? You know what? She was, we talked a lot about Craig Robinson, but she was also, she was fantastic. Going to town. She was in every scene. She was making these little faces. She was like, like she was just, you know, she was like, she did look different colors in some scenes because

something she was very bronze. And then in other things she was not, she know, she was like. She did look different colors in some scenes because some scenes she was very bronze and then in other scenes she was not. She was, she was making the most of what she had. Everyone was working really hard in this movie to elevate them. The most unrealistic thing in the entire movie for me was the fact that this woman did not have $2,000 in her bank, but that she was suddenly going to buy tickets to Hawaii over Christmas. Do you know how imagine that's a $10,000 trip? Well, listen, she wasn't willing to address to go into her savings for some like melting dick.

But now that it's real, she's she's suddenly had it. You see how it works? Listen, she's like, oh, he's still an idiot. I'm taking him to Rehoboth beach in Delaware. I'll just tell him. I'm thinking of a hamburger bill or her hamburger hut. I want to, I want to bring something. I want to bring up a very important point. When Jack was dying on the side of the police station there and the entire town rallied to put in the few scraps, even the children put in a few dollars to save Jack. Let me tell you something. There was one person who did not put in a single dime

because she didn't even bother to show up. Chrishell. Where was Chrishell? Where was her favorite customer? Favorite customer apparently decided not to come in on the traditional new, I mean, Christmas Eve meal and help out the town snowman. So I don't know, I would rethink Chrishell's loyalty to you because I don't think it's going both ways. Yeah. She's probably home monitoring her child that she's locked in a crate for eating a fucking pancake with some chocolate chips in it on the day.

She's like, she's like, Susie, you put me in an awkward position asking for that chocolate chip pancake on a Tuesday. I of course, I had to say yes, because I don't want to be a bitch. But maybe next time you think about what this does to me before you ask dumb questions. And now one tick tack, two tick tacks, three tick tacks. There we go. That's it for Jenner. You're done. Well, that was it.

That was the glorious Frosty Jack. Frosty, not frosty, hot was it. That was the glorious Frosty Jack Frosty Scott Frosty. Hot Frosty. Do you guys think to me, this was the worst possible way this could have ended was with him becoming human. And because it feels like she needed a man all along. It wasn't real movies are every single one of them is that like women don't don't don't be ridiculous And it would have made more sense for them to get married and she became a snow queen because she's a bitch Then they moved to Greenland Yes

By the way like he was not long for this world because it was gonna get warm soon and he was gonna die So they had to do a workaround. They had to make him become a human Yeah, or like he just died. And then she was like, well, I never learned to get on with her life. Yeah. No, that's probably too sad. But yeah, the whole becoming a human, it's almost like they're devaluing snowmanship. And I didn't like that. I didn't like that. They were just like, well, that's not valid. You know, humanity. I'm humid. Yeah.. Like the only dream is to really become human. And I think that he was the happiest thing on there and he wasn't human at all.

So why did we have to bring him down to our level? I think he definitely demoted himself. Yeah. Yeah, he did. And she ruined it by kissing him. She gave him the human cooties and turned him into a human. I mean, it's actually just become a horror movie. If you're, if you're a snow person and you're watching this, this is some

zombie shit, she just turned him and now he's like to them. He's like dead. He's a monster, you know, and now it's going to happen. They're like, Oh my God, is it going to come for our children next? Watch out for the kissing frigid lady. Yes. And then there's a bunch of bloopers y'all and that's one of the best parts of the movie. The bloopers were funny. The bloopers were great. That's the movie! That's our 11 part series. Well it only took 5 hours for us to get through it.

I think this was our longest one ever actually. I think so too. I literally have a whole new house of furniture and a hot tub removed and a roof. I've got the roof done today. I mean, it's been a very busy day over here. Very busy day. Thanks for, thanks for putting up with that, you guys. Thanks for doing this.

This is such a lovely tradition. It's a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Yeah. We love you guys. And making it through this enormous marathon and we will catch you next year. Yes. Same thing with a whole new shitty. Yes.

Happy holidays everyone. We'll see you next year. Happy holidays everybody. Bye everybody. Love you. Bye. Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.

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