Watch What Crappens - #2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

This is part two of a two-parter! It’s Patricia’s 83rd birthday and it wouldn’t be a true Southern Charm celebration without going out of your way to hurt someone’s feelings, so Craig is uninvited for not spending enough time with Shep and Austen. Cry into your pillow, Martha! To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC and Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live threads,  go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens, oh well you know what happens, guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey wait a minute I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. So they're doing, Hudson's practicing some shots out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay. It's before this one. So they're doing, Hudson's practicing some shots and Madison asked Brett how he's feeling and he's like doing okay. It's just like, he has to be like, he has to think about his swallowing and

needs some medication and adjustments. And now there's a spot on his kidney and he needs a biopsy and it's, it's rough. I feel really bad for Madison because that was really tough to hear. But also because she's also shocked because this is her first time hearing it. So she's like, well, why didn't you tell me? He's like, well, I didn't want to worry you. And also you're really scary. I don't want to say anything. And he's saying, you know, but that's how I am. I don't talk about things. And he's like, well, you got to with me. And he's like, no. She's like, yeah, but you don't tell me next time, right? I mean, next time if you get a cancerous spot somewhere,

will you tell me? He's like, uh, yes, say yes. Okay. Like great communication over there, guys. Let's worry. I love that you won't. I mean, I get his not wanting to worry somebody until he knows, but yeah, you got to tell your wife.

Yeah, you got to. It's really scary. Although it's kind of funny how he's like, you know me, I just don, you got her. It's really scary. Although it's kind of funny how he's like, you know me, I just don't talk about things. You know how I don't talk about things. It's like, you know. That's just the thing. They don't communicate.

He's gone half the time and then he gets really jealous assuming that she's hooking up with Austin on trips. There's some worrisome stuff here. Yeah. There's some red flags here. So then we go back to the shows. It's just that this red flag is really hot and has a great job. So nobody really wants to point it out, but there's some red flags here. So then we go back. It's just this red flag is really hot and has a great job.

So nobody really wants to point it out, but there's some red flags. It's a little bit. Yeah. So now we're over Patricia's house and Patricia's like, is Ran V downstairs? Yes. Yes, mother. Ran V's here. Okay, great. Keep, keep Ran V away. Doesn't Ran V sound like a shortened, I'm sorry, Ben, what were you saying? I just said, keep Ran V away from her. Last her last time Randy got too close start humping her leg Do we have the shock collar Doesn't rent sounds like a shortened like prescription drug name. Yes I'm not letting plaques andiasis stop me one more day. Renvy may also cause a rash, which is sort of funny considering it's for Plexoriasis, but you know, at least it's not Plexoriasis.

Know what I'm saying? Renvy. Whitney! Yes, mother. So Renvy brings in, Renvy comes in and she's a new lady. It's Renvy. Hi, Renvy. Welcome everybody. Here she is. It's Renvy. She has, she's wearing this like, this pink, this hot pink thing. She looks great. She's got Joan Rivers hair. She sort of has Cheryl Hein's face and we've never seen her before, but she is obviously made it to the top of the pecking order because she gets to be the lady who comes to Patricia's birthday party. So great job, Renvy.

And I like this friendship because she just comes in and Patricia says, well, hello, sweetie. And she goes, oh, hello. And then they don't kiss or hug or anything. And I was like, oh, yes, I love this icy, this icy frenemy shit. Well it's hard for me to gush about my birthday because birthdays seem so silly for adults. Birthdays are for children, but it's an excuse to get together with friends and go to good restaurant and talk about how sad Renvie's life is and have fun, things like that. You know, one of the things we always like to say is nobody envy Renvy.

Poor Renvy is just like, this is going to be fun. It's going to be great. So then they go to a restaurant. It's called Lowland. It's just ironic. We just bring Renvy here to remind restaurant. It's called Lowland. It's just ironic. We just bring Renvy here to remind her where she's from. You know that sometimes we say, Renvy, you need to go to a man, Lowland, and maybe one day you'll be flooded with all sorts of romantic prospects. But unfortunately it hasn't happened yet for her.

Bless her heart. Hey, do you have a sister restaurant called lower land that we can get envy some ass at? Getting desperate over here. More like slow land. Poor Randy. So Austin comes and Eddie and Ryan, the new gays, who still are not justifying that spot that Ryan is getting in the opening credits and poster. Why is he on the poster?

He's had two lines in this whole episode. I need more from you gay. All right. Yeah. Even Eddie had more lines than Ryan did. And Eddie is not even on the poster. Yeah. So they show up up Madison comes in,

wearing some kind of funky outfit and she goes, hello, I ended up looking, how did I end up still looking like this little one? I get emotional just thinking about the impact Patricia's had on me. I mean, she's like a second lover to me. Second lover. Does that what I said? She's like a second mother to me. Sure did. I don't know why I said that. What the hell is wrong with you, Rondal?

It was two more than Renvy's had. So then. Do you remember Renvy? No, neither does anybody else. She's actually a regular here. The waiter just came and poured a cup of water into her. I said, that's not a water glass. Now, before we get started, I invited everyone to balance a potted plant

on Ranv's head, because she's basically a table at this point. Sorry, Ranv, it's not your shape, it's your personality. Now listen, Ranv, it's not your shape, it's your personality. Now listen, Ranv, if you want to dress like a slut, look at Madison, but I guess it still wouldn't work for you no matter how skimpy you'd wear and dress your clothes. I'm drunk, by the way. Had a lot of marginis back at my house. Everyone just goes slap Ranv.

So Madison says, Patricia has made me, she has tried to bring me into the most ladylike woman I could ever dream of being. And she makes it feel like it's possible. Hadn't happened, but it could. Well, I think that during the talk, Oh, here's a, I have to make a confession. Ding, ding, ding. Um, I've been lying this whole time about my age. I'm really 108. Hold on.

Hold for laughter. All right. I didn't hear you laughing much, but then again, I guess no one really hears Ranv when she talks. Ranv, speak up. She's like, okay, Remve, nevermind. That laughter wasn't loud enough. Remve walk around in your underwear.

Okay. Everyone. Remve has requested that she gets to sing a verse from my favorite things. Go ahead. Remve. Okay. That's enough. Hey, one of nobody's favorite things. Renvy. Am I right? That's why she sings that she hopes she winds up on some, someone's lip.

But guess what? You're still not as attractive as something wrapped in brown paper bag. Apparently tied up. Well, I think a dermatologist is your best friend and also the dentist. I go every three months. If you don't have a dentist, you can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist.

You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist.

You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to the dentist. You can't go to dermatologist is your best friend and also the dentist. I go every three months. If you don't take care of your teeth, that makes you look old. Anyway, Ranv hasn't been to the dentist in about 13 years. Point taken. Anyway, that's the news.

I told, I took Ranv to the dentist one time for a checkup with my doctor and he said we don't put teeth into tree stumps. I said the upside is people may think you're wise. So Shep is like, Oh, well, whatever you're doing, keep doing that. Martinis, Martinis are the key. As in throw them at Renvy, it keeps you young. Jared Sautner Guys, think, think, think. Just wanted to say, mom he's like, I'd like to tell a story about mother. One

time, she sent me to a progressive high school in Washington, DC. And me and my friends, we're the hooligans of the school. And they called their parents in one time, you know, probably for doing something awful to a woman. Let's face it, look at my track record. And my mom showed up an hour late. She listened for about five minutes and then she stood up and said, well, boys will be boys. See you later.

I was like, wow, she has not changed one fucking bit. That's literally still her role on this show. Oh, did like one ladies dinner in like 2020 or like not even, it was like not 2019 after like me too. And she's like, all right back to the boys boys will be boys They'll break your chairs. That's what they do You know what I have a new movement is called me neither Poor Ranvies movement is not her so sad

movement is not her. So sad. So Whitney's like, I mean, how could you not love her? She's very ostentatious. She's glamorous. Doesn't suffer full slightly. Somehow tolerates Renvy. She's the best. I love her. So now the food comes out and the lady it's like, this is delicious. This is some chicken with some, some, uh, what'd she say? Some salsa verde. Y'all enjoy that. She's like, Whoa, this is the real thing. Wow. Gorge. Can I have some Garshee Verde? This is nuts. I doweth Brutus too much for this salsa verde. Um, it looked, I doweth Brutus too much for this salsa verde." It looked- And when you were saying before how the guys, the only reason the guys have manners is because

Patricia's here and God, Patricia shows up and they show all these manners. Well this scene proves that theory wrong. Not a one of these guys closes their mouth. I mean, the gays do. This, but I have to say this, next time I go to Charleston, I am going to low lands because this food looked amazing. That chicken with the salsa Verde looked amazing. And then they served Cheryl day biscuits, Cheryl day. She's like all her food is just made with like 10 sticks of butter and it's all

amazing. I'm, I, I'm like salivating. Just thinking about this. This little girl looked like some damn good food for sure. Um, so then Renvy, did you catch this when Renvy was like, well, Austin, do you look quite sharp, but of course you're good looking. So of course you look sharp. Well, keep it in your pants, Renvy. Or as I like to call it the dusty cavern. That is your pants.

The second you open up that cave bats are going to stop flying out for a week. Ran V just keep it closed. I mean, I'm surprised Jack Nicholson isn't there busting through walls saying here's Johnny. I mean, no one's in there. It's interesting. You know, the last time we were here, there was you and what was that child you're dating again, Austin? And he's like, Audrey. Yeah. He goes, we had so much

fun. I went home wearing half your chicken dish on my face, but it wasn't the worst night ever. Yeah, I think that she's charming and attractive and quite frankly, I think you need someone who's not a drama queen who shows up looking like a slut at someone's birthday party, which is for children, by the way. And Madison just tilts her head like, is this bitch really just talking about me? And then she's just like, well, okay, that's true. Yeah, it's true. And Austin's like, well, you know, I used to think like I needed someone who would like

put my feet to the fire. But I think it's actually quite the opposite. I need someone who lets me get away with all the shit in the world. It's that simple. Pretty much. I need to be able to do whatever the fuck I want and have someone childish and desperate enough to be on TV that she'll let me do it. Yeah, that's great. Yep.

This is the path that men take. A lot of growth. But he's like, are you insinuating that Madison's a drama queen? this is the path that men take. A lot of growth. But he's like, are you insinuating that Madison's a drama queen? Mother, you're that mother. And Austin's like, Well, sorry, go ahead, Ben. Well, no, I would,

I would prefer you to speak, Ms. Pat. No, he's like, well, she, you know, she's more of a drama queen than Audrey. And she goes, yeah, I guess that's true. So I guess you just found yourself a bread, huh? Except, you know, with that gorgeous face, gorgeous body, uh, who's not a father to your child and who wouldn't rich, but you know, close. And he's like, yeah, I guess you could say that.

So then, um, they ask where this guy is, where Brett is. And she's like, well, he's just having so much fun not being here with all of us. You know, he's just, oh no, he's having a lot of FOMO not being here with us. It's what it is. And she has to like take a moment. And she's like, I'm not gonna bring him around here

because I don't want him to spill what's going on with his health. And then, you know, these people will make it all about that basically. Yeah. So Eddie's like, these people will make it all about that. Basically. Yeah. So Eddie's like, okay, I'll get the ball rolling. Where's Craig?

And Pat's like, well, I thought he was in Sonoma, which is also what I call Ransby's love life Sonoma man. But apparently he came back today. But apparently he came back today. And Ryan says, Craig is at Kroger and they all crack up like it was just some diss. But I think Ryan was like, Craig's in fucking grocery stores. Like, what does he care what you losers think about him? That's how I took it. How'd you take it?

I took it like, no, he's here and he's at Kroger making, getting, getting, buying his groceries for dinner while we're here having this amazing meal. Oh, okay. I thought, oh, wow, that was nice. Okay. So Austin's like, yeah, I talked to Craig. He was like, what are you doing later? And I was like, oh my God, this is so awkward. It's so crazy. It's like nuts right now. But like, I'm going to dinner. And he was like, who with who? And I was like, well, a bunch of us. And he was like, what? he was like, who with who? And I was like, well, a bunch of us. And he was like, what, where you been, Quay? And I was like, well, it's Pat's birthday.

This is so this cast to just make Craig feel like shit on purpose, just so they could have a storyline of Craig feeling like shit. Well, all Austin had to say is, all he had to say is, oh, I'm going out, what are you doing later? I'm going out to dinner with Patricia. That's all he has to say. But instead, but the moment you say this is so awkward, you're saying that Craig should feel awkward because he's being intentionally excluded, which he is, but still like you're, you're making it worse when you say that. Just say,

Oh yeah, I'm going out to dinner with Patricia. And if Craig is like, well, why was I invited? I'd be like, I don't take it up with Patricia. Don't make, you know, just you keep it matter as matter of fact. But but yeah, they are basically punishing Craig. Yeah. And Shep's like, I don't think it's a big deal that Craig's not here. I mean, course, if Craig thinks it's a big deal, then maybe he should make more of an effort. Weren't you the one who just got dumped by the entire cast last season because you were such an asshole and such a disgusting pig in Vegas

for like the 10th time that they couldn't even stand to be around you. What are you talking about? He needs to make more of an effort. Fuck off. And Whitney's just sitting there smiling like, yeah, they're dicks. These guys are such assholes. But to be fair, Craig did break Patricia's chair. So it's just like never again. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. Hello ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch holiday podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against brismas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts On an open fire you can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Ham

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Wondery Plus. We didn't know we're just talking about that. When was the last time we saw Craig? Oh, well, he came over Easter and part of that not for like six or seven months. And I don't know. We don't like talk or text. Yeah. Well, how often do you see him Austin?

He's like, well, when we podcast, which is basically twice a week and it's turned into business more than a friendship like it used to be. Could you imagine if I said that about you? That's crazy. Oh yeah, I really only talk to him like the eight times a week that we do a show together.

I mean, other than that, it's like half my life. That's more than I've ever talked to anybody literally in my life. I can't imagine degrading it to be like, oh, we're not even friends. It's just only business. That's crazy. Yeah, it's so funny.

They're just not, they're not gonna give Craig his moment. But to be fair, Craig is also very much about declaring that he's having his moment right now. So I can also imagine that being really exhausting. I can, but they just keep shitting on him for things that should be impressive. Like they should be things you should be proud of your friends for, but Pat's like,

well, he's trying to be Martha Stewart. Well, God forbid you're talking to a table of people who don't do jack shit. Like God forbid one of them tries to make something of themselves and is actually in a decent relationship for a few years in a row, which neither of these has accomplished either, including your child. And you guys are sitting here dissing him like he's the biggest loser at the table. These other guys are the ones here like fucking getting free dinner off some lady, you know? Yes.

Their friend's mom still in their fucking 40s. Give me a break, man. Shep is like, gosh, this isn't a knock on Craig because he's very smart of Craig, but he is kind of like just a figurehead. It's not like he's at the warehouse with a hard hat on. Jerry does literally everything for him. And we see flashbacks of Jerry doing everything. And Shep is like, it's just like, Craig show up here,

throw a pillow up in the sky and write a caption. He doesn't even write his own captions. That's because he doesn't, the fact that he can do this and that he doesn't have to do that stuff is even more impressive than the fact that he has someone doing this for him and he gets to just take in all the money. Hello, that's amazing.

What CEO is there in a hard hat? I mean, look, it's crazy. Cause I think you're correct that it can get annoying. Craig can get annoying with his whole like, oh, I think about his business. Like he does have annoying parts, but the fact that they're using all of this stuff that he's accomplished is a bad thing.

Like, look at Craig. He's just a figurehead selling pillows all the time and making money. You guys sound so fucking pathetic. What have you ever done that's been successful? Shep? Name it. Name it. Name them. That definitely wasn't relationship. So then Whitney is like, I mean, why do you think he's like trying to insulate himself? Like curate his new image?

Is this like better for his business? Literally? Yes. Literally selling stuff on the internet and killing it. And you're like, wow, why is he not out there being problematic and being a monster and like lying all the time and being someone that no one wants to support. It's crazy to these guys that anybody would like enter their forties by not being wasted

and fucking 20 year olds from bars on King Street that they're using their like D- celebrity to get like they're like what? Why isn't he still doing coke and fucking fucking randos every night? What a loser Gosh, what's the point of getting success if you don't enjoy with people you're friends with because the people he is friends with are like begrudging His success and are always trying to tear him down. Have you not seen Seasons one through nine of your show? Yeah, you literally just tore him down all last season for being his friend. And then you got so bad in Vegas that he had to put distance between you.

Why are you making it sound like it's somebody else's fault? What a loser. And when he's like, I prefer old Craig, he was far more interesting when he was drinking bourbon. Listen, I'm sure you're more interesting when I'm drinking bourbon. But that's not a cool thing to say about somebody else. Look, I'm fucking idiot. Maddison's like, I mean, he is improving himself. It's not like he's doing anything bad. Like, are you knuckleheads? Listen to yourself. He's like, well, you can improve yourself. Just doesn't mean you have to be boring.

You literally do nothing but shoot scenes with your mother, you fucking weirdo. What have you ever done interesting on this show except fuck teenagers that you can later cast for five minutes of fame, you fucking weirdo. You're so boring, you were demoted to friend of on your own show. So then, Bass is like, well, maybe he can't be himself or he is right now around y'all. He's like, well, what happened to the goofball? Self-deprecating Craig, that guy is gone. When he was the goofball self-deprecating Craig, you guys shat on him. Do you not remember going to Delaware to his home and ridiculing him to his face in front of his family the entire time?

Yeah. They just want someone they can punch down on, you know? Yeah. And so, and by the way, that guy is gone because you were a shitty friend, Shep. You didn't leave him. It's not like he just disappeared. He left you because you're a fucking disgusting, assaulting drunk. Okay? So Shep's like, well, you know, the people just like, who's cracking and sewing down south because of his old fallible self. But the current crack is always hawking product. And it's because, and of course it's the woman's fault because Paige is a shrewd business woman,

so she ruined Craig. She brought Craig, she made Craig healthy and happy and successful, fuck her! Whatever happened to witch hunts? I know, yeah, she's a pretty shrewd businesswoman. And they said to themselves, we have to be professionals and do this the right way. Well, God forbid, God forbid you do something professional in the right way. Like why is, Shep is literally arguing like, you know, people wanted to buy pillows because they love Craig's infallible, his old fallible self. Yes.

You know, every time Craig would lie and do Adderall and show up like cracked out on reunion, I thought I want to buy a pillow from him. No, this is, it's like he's saying this stuff. Like it's a bad thing. Like it's bad that Craig met someone who has her shit together and he wants to level up his own life. That way he can be a better boyfriend to her. And he's like, Oh gosh, God, I think it's the most important thing is just to be honest and human and as long as you're those things,

your image should take care of itself. I'm like, should we just- So it's the least honest and least human fuck. Are you saying this after you've lied for seasons and cheated on everybody you've ever been with, consistently lied and then threw cans at a homeless woman and told her I like your hands? Is that your human nature, you fuck.

I don't think Shep has wanted to talk about image so well. It's not his strong point. Or honesty or humanity. What the fuck has Austin even been talking about? So then Austin tries to puff up and he's like, well, I think it's rather interesting that other people feel this way. I didn't realize, I suppose that his absence

has been noticeable for other people, hold on. I'm like, okay, relax, sir. You can put your ass caught away. Like you haven't been talking about this nonstop with everybody else on the cast. So then we go see Molly making her bed. And I think that's all we see of Molly. That's all we see. We don't Molly making her bed. And I think that's all we see of Molly. That's all we see.

We don't even see her face. We just see her back making her bed. And then we see Vanita making, like putting down pillows for Charles, and then she sweeps and that's it for Vanita. It's just so weird sometimes. And then Shep is driving. So he calls up Austin and he's like, gosh,

I was just at the gym. And Craig walks in and he's all grumpy. And I was like, what are you doing today? And he's like, Austin's coming over. And he's going to tell me all the shit that everybody's been talking about me. So Austin's like, Oh God, I'm going to a fucking hornets nest. It's insane right now. And he's like, don't say anything to him about last night. I mean, listen, we had dinner. I mean, listen, it's got to be Madison that got him agitated, right? And he's like, yeah, certainly not my intention of going there today and saying, then he said this and then he said this and then she said this. It's like my own things I want to say. What are you so worried about?

We're actually going to go. And you were, we know you were going to go there to say, he said this and she said this and he said this, because that's all you do. The three of you, the biggest gossips on the show are these three guys. Yeah. So he does. He goes over there and Craig's, you know, doing his guard, which does look amazing. His backyard does look amazing. Dan does Austin comes in. It's, it's kind of awkward. And, uh, it's like basically I just wanted to come by cause it was just fucking awkward without you there last night

Well, it felt weird Oh God I Wanted to go swimming, but now I'm all wet. I feels weird not being invited. I don't get my feelings hurt too often I'm like you literally get your feelings hurt every episode, but that's fine. Did me just say I wasn't invited Why I wasn't invited? I mean, well, the combination of thinking you were out of town and also saying that she had, she hadn't talked to Craig much, you know, and then the conversation switched to your absence. And he's like, wait, so you talked about my absence at a birthday party I wasn't invited to. That's crazy. Like, if you want to see me more, you have to invite me to

your birthday dinner. So yeah, well, no, your absence when you are in town is what the conversation switched to. Craig is like, well, this is where I'm at. Am I missing something? I'm in my house. So believe it or not, after that entire scene where I was really very much team Craig over everything that everyone at the table was saying about him, I have to say in this scene, I was really very much team Craig over everything that everyone at the table was saying about him. I have to say in this scene, I start to pivot a little bit. I cannot even believe the words are coming out of my mouth. I'm a little team Austin in this scene because I think ultimately in this scene

Austin is like, and he says it right here, I miss my buddy. I mean, that's where I'm coming to you from. We talk and we do this, but I'm going to lunch and you're just like, not on my call list. I don't think to call you anymore. If I'm going to get a beer, you're not on my phone list because your answer is normally like, Oh, I'm gardening or something like that. And Craig is like, well, when was the last time you invited me to lunch? And he's like, well, that's what I'm always saying, Craig, because it's always, he's like,

but that's a you thing. I'm not a mind reader. I don't know what, no, this shit was going on. I thought we were good. Why don't we set up a weekly tea time? Pete But look, here's my thing. If somebody, as somebody who started drinking a lot less recently, you know, I still drink, I still have my mugs, I'm not totally sober, but I cleaned up my life a lot in the past year or two. And it's led to weirdness sometimes. Like my friends don't really know how to deal with it. They didn't know at first how to deal with it. They know better now.

But at first they didn't know. And I didn't really know either because frankly, if I'm not drinking and getting wasted with everybody, I don't wanna go sit at a bar with them all night. And some people you're like, that's all we do. We go sit at a bar all night, we get shit faced, we do drugs, whatever. And if I'm not doing that anymore,

then why do I wanna be there? You don't wanna be around a bunch of... And it was hard to find other things to do, or just be like, now we're just having dinner and not being shit faced. It's seven, is that okay with you? And we had to get to a place where you, as an adult, you just have to do that.

I can't be wasted every fucking night, I'm sorry. I can be wasted some nights, but I just can't do it anymore every night. And it's hard to get through that, but like a bunch of 40 year olds literally sitting around like you won't get wasted with me, so now we can't hang out and be friends and now you're not gonna be invited anywhere.

Grow the fuck up. I mean, you children, that's why everybody around them gets younger and younger as they get older and grosser and crustier, you know? They're just surrounded by all these stupid influencer girls who need, you know, likes. Well, I agree that like, Craig is in a much better place. He's cleaned up what he used to enjoy for fun is no longer the same thing. But I think also Craig can't be mad at the, you can't be like, Oh, I wasn't invited. but then you can't be,

you can't move on and find a new group and then get mad at people that you weren't included in the old thing. You know, it's like, well it's a show that there are three male leads on and they're purpose. And Patricia is with Whitney. So she's obviously, they're obviously purposely excluding Craig to be dicks. I mean, this is their show for them to not invite Craig to Patricia's dinner with all the insider cast members. There is a horrible dickish move. That's not cool. That's like a blatant. We're trying to push you out of this show kind of a move. Just because you've got your shit together.

But also, you know, I can see that Craig has been, Craig has clearly like not make himself not available probably for good reason, for very good reason, but he like not make himself not available Probably for good reason for very good reason He's not making himself available and then he's surprised that people like well I guess we're gonna start moving on without Craig cuz he doesn't want to hang out and then so then Craig gets upset and I'm Like you kind of can't have it both ways. And so here comes it. It's just with them He was with them three days ago They showed that this episode where he was just at lunch with them. Then they showed him just at the gym with them three days ago. They showed this episode where he was just at lunch with them. Then they showed him just at the gym with them. I mean, what he is with them. They're

full of shit. Right. I mean, but I still think that if you have someone coming to you, like whether it's coming from, I think that if Austin is feeling like he's missing his friend, like he wants to spend time with his friend and then the friend is like, well, I'm like, I'm here. You can make plans with me, but then it's like, what, every time I try to make plans with you, you basically are like, no, I don't want to do that. Or like as we're, and he starts to say this thing right now, which is that like,

we had a plan to play golf and then the night before you're like, oh no, I'm going to, I'm going to garden instead. It's like, that's shitty. I'm sorry. I think that Craig, Craig has every right to find healthier friends and healthier activities. And Austin and, and Shep are do undermine, but like Craig just, I just don't, I think Craig is really painting himself here. Like he's really innocent. Like what? Like, but no, Craig contributes to this toxic situation too, with these friends. Well, I think if it was like, from how I'm looking at it, if it was Austin just saying, Hey, Craig, here's how I feel about our friendship. That's one thing. But this is about Craig not being invited to Patricia's birthday party, which is a totally different thing. And Austin's making

this like, well, you don't come at you don't come golfing with me. It's like, well, why am I being kicked out of this inner circle? Basically, what happened last season is Austin and Craig, were like, fuck Shep, he can't treat everybody like this anymore. It's to the point where he's literally assaulting people in public. He's making us all look terrible. We both have businesses that we want to protect.

They totally turned on him at the reunion and were like, no Shep, you can't act like this anymore. We're making a stand against you. And now Shep has turned it around with Whitney and Patricia, apparently as their winning accomplices, who are making it now that this is all Craig's fault. The reason they weren't hanging out with Shep was Shep's being a fucking drunk, assaulting alcoholic part.

That was his fault. But now that this season they're making it sound like, oh, Craig's the one that's been, no, Austin, you were not hanging out with Shep until last week or whenever you started shooting the show again, because they even had that conversation at the beginning of this where Shep's like, I want us to get back, no one hangs out with me anymore. And he's like, okay, we'll be friends again. So then they kind of forgave him, but now Shep has somehow managed to turn this into, it's all Craig's fault for thinking he's better than us.

When Shep is the fucking one who got cut off for being a drunk who keeps assaulting people every time they're in public. It's just, it's making me crazy. It's not that Craig is innocent, it's just that Shep and Whitney are such pieces of shit. That's what's going on. Yeah. I mean, I think they've turned that part around, but I do think in terms of like around on Craig, but I also have to imagine like, yes, Craig is doing healthier things for himself, but he, I also imagine Craig is being much more annoying to be friends with it's like everything has to be at his house, everything.

It's like gotta be on his schedule and like he's not going to return. And so he's making these healthy boundaries, which was probably better for him. But like on the other side of that healthy boundary is like an, and it's like an annoying thing to have to deal with it. And it's like, it feels like he's probably not checking in with them because it's again, it's part of his boundaries and people are probably like frustrated and hurt. And I think that like Craig just sort of,

you either make that boundary and then when people say like, like, Hey, we're going to do something without you. You just like, that's fine. I made a healthy boundary. I get it. Our friendships are going in different directions or you make an effort with people still, but like you just can't have it both ways. And it was just a very strange thing for me to watch the scene and actually have weird empathy for Austin because I've never really done that before.

And it was weird, I guess, because Austin was really coming from a place of like, I miss you. And Craig was coming from a place of like, like, he basically coming up, he's like, Austin just misses his drinking buddy. I'm like, yeah, but isn't that? Isn't that actually a big deal? It's might not be the healthy thing for Craig, but to be like, oh, Austin just misses his friend. It's like, yeah, exactly.

That's exactly correct. And that's like not nothing. Hmm, well, I think that's an interesting, listen, that's an interesting argument. I could never ever feel sorry for Austin. And I get what Craig is saying. I don't like it. Yeah, he just misses me being wasted. I think there's something also like,

he only likes me because I'm wasted with him, which I guess I sympathize with that because that's happened to me where it's like, you don't like me unless I'm drunk ass Ronnie with you encouraging you to be drunk ass whatever, whoever, you know? And if not, it's like I'm worthless. Like I'm still sitting here and able to have a conversation. And Craig's like, I tell you to come over all the time. You guys don't want to do that. You want to go bang 20 year olds on fucking King Street, you know? You don't want to do this. So go do what you want to do. It's not like I don't want to be your friends. I just don't want to be wasted in a bar with you. And I'm not, I'm worth more than just being some wasted

guy in a bar to prop you up. You know what I mean? So I guess that's kind of how I'm taking what Craig says. Now that said, obviously Craig's fucking annoying. And I see what you're saying, you know, because Craig is annoying. And when they do that golf thing and he's cutting to the picture or cutting to the video of him like, well, here's how we're doing gardening. He doesn't even know anything about any of this stuff. Like when he was trying to pretend he was a food connoisseur a couple of weeks ago and couldn't even open the fucking wine bottle, you know? And also don't forget like on the flip side, and I don't, I like, I'm not really trying to take Whitney's side at the, on the, at the very least,

but you also have someone here who is on the show, who's not willing to do anything unless it's like you have to go over to his house. He doesn't want to hang out. And then all of a sudden like, but it's happy to use the show to promote his business. So like, I can see why those frustration. Hanging out with everybody all the time? I'm confused like what's Craig not been at. Well it seems like when they were not shooting.

I think that's what this stems from. Like when they were not shooting Craig is just like. Whitney doesn't even live there when they're not shooting. Whitney lived in California. I don't think Shep doesn't either. Shep isn't ever there. Shep's constantly traveling. Shep's never in town.

I mean I think the only one who's there is Craig in Austin and I think they do hang out. That's why I'm so confused by this whole. Yeah, it's weird, but I have to say, friendship breakups always make the most compelling TV, like more so than relationship breakups, because friendship breakups are very nuanced, and they're very complicated, and there's a lot of gray areas,

and there's always good cases to be made on both sides. And I am totally into this situation that's happening with Craig and Austin, because I find it to be made on both sides. And I am totally into this, into this situation that's happening with Craig and Austin. Cause I find it to be very fascinating. I think all your points that you've made are been like a hundred percent valid. I also think the points that I've made are a hundred percent valid and that's what makes these things interesting

because like they're really, it's not just like a, their fault, their fault. There's always like stuff happening that contributes to this, this total mess. Yeah. Well, I just feel like they're coming after Craig constantly. They come after him every year for like being, first of all, they're coming at him for being a fucking loser

and a compulsive liar and he can't keep a job and he's never gonna have a career. Then they're making fun of him for his sewing and being a loser with that and always staying home and just working on a stupid sewing and getting a stupid house that's ugly and it's never clean. He never does the work on his house.

Then he gets his shit together and does get in a good relationship with a girl that they consider much better because they all hated Naomi. So then he gets in a better relationship and someone that they would all kind of respect and he does get his shit together and they still hate him. It's like he can't, the guy never wins.

Every season he's their fucking punching bag. And meanwhile, they're both losers, Austin and Shep. They're both fucking losers. Well, that's why they need to have Craig. And don't do anything. And then they, they kick Craig every single time he's down. It's just like, Craig has his faults, but I'm not going to listen to it from those two jackasses, you know, especially a soldier Shep and loser fucking cheater Austin. I'm not, I don't, I don't feel shit for those two. Yeah. But then at the same time, Craig is like, well, he finally realizes his worth that he doesn't need to be the punching bag for these guys.

Cause this is totally true. They have been all, they are crabs in a bucket trying to drag him down. So I'm like, you realize your worth. So then why are you like, then move on? Why are you getting upset? But why should he quit? Well, because why should he just be okay? Like being pushed off the show because these losers have decided that he's going to be put like, it's just not,

it's just not fair for them to one day decide, okay, you're not going to kiss our ass and you don't get to come to a main filming event. You don't want to hang out with the guys on the show though. Then you that's also like, why is that okay too? Like if you're on the show- But he is hanging out with the guys on the show. He hasn't been refusing to hang out with the guys on the show. This was like a Patricia's event. This was like Patricia having her guys night and not inviting one of the lead cast members

and then bringing the replacement gays on instead. Aren't this just like, that's just some low-down. I think there's more going on behind the scenes. I think it's more than, there must have been something leading up to this season, you know, there's something where, I mean, maybe it's just jealousy. Maybe they're just, maybe they're just I mean, I think they're saying what it is, don't you? They're saying flat out what it is, which is he's annoying now that he's successful. And we know that Craig is annoying. You see it, you know, and it's the thing that I keep bringing up,

which is the winter house. I'm rich now, I don't have to clean. I think that's probably the attitude that they're talking about, where he like is so big in his own mind that he's just fucking obnoxious. And now it's all about his influencing and his, you know, I can see how that stuff would be.

And Austin's saying that Craig is not calling him back. I just think that bringing it to a head like this with him, where it's just like, you're not invited to filming anymore. It's just, but you know, the thing is that like Austin saying that Craig is not, is not returning his calls anymore. And basically it's, it's,

what I'm actually getting the sense of is that maybe Craig is only, only shows up when he has like for filming for like that scene with the three of them at the top of the show. Like if he doesn't have to shoot a scene, he's not going to talk to you. And I think like, I kind of get the sense that that is what they're butting up against and they're, or at least Austin is getting frustrated with. And that's the other thing is, and this is why it's so strange. If this were Shep coming to Craig's house and saying this stuff, I'd be like, well Sh Shep, you were totally vile to him. And same with Whitney. But like Austin, I mean, Austin and Craig have their weird relationship, but they are podcasts. They do a podcast together.

And, you know, I don't know, like there's something about Austin going over there and being like, I miss my friend and Craig being just totally dismissive of it. That I was like, I was like, that was shitty. I thought that was really shitty of Craig. I mean, look, I can see that side of it for sure, but here's where it gets me. He goes, yeah, but Craig, you wanna hide out and not make the effort. And Craig says, yeah, but we record twice a week

and we see each other at the gym. First of all, recording, I get that that's your job, but that's also not nothing. That's literally them sitting there shooting the shit with each other. And then when you see each other at the gym, that's your job, but that's also not nothing. That's literally them sitting there shooting the shit with each other. And then when you see each other at the gym, that's not work either. That's where you sit and you chat with your friends.

Like that's, any friend I've gone to the gym with, that's been our quality time where we go and we hang out and we talk to each other and we catch up. I've never gone to the gym with a friend where it's been like a work formal situation. So if someone came to me and was like, wow, so you record, you spend two, two to three hours a week talking to me. And then like five days a week hanging out with me at the gym.

And that's not enough. I'd be like, you're fucking needy and weird. Like, what more do you need from me? But as a counterpoint, if I, Ooh, something's coming from Amazon. Sorry. I'm like a dog. I'm like squirrel. It, But as a counterpoint, if I, Ooh, something's coming from Amazon. Sorry. I'm like a dog. I'm like squirrel. It, a counterpoint is if like we have a routine that we go to the gym and we do our podcasting and I was like, Hey Ronnie, let's go grab dinner or whatever. And you just were like, no, it's like, I'm only allowed to see you in like in a work or gym setting daytime,

maybe, or like really on your terms. And like maybe that maybe that's what Austin didn't articulate and I got, I hate that I feel like I'm going out of my way to defend Austin. I don't know what this is about, but I can imagine it's like what if it's Austin saying, I want to do other things. And, and Craig is like, no, I'm only slotting you into this thing where I can do a business with you.

And this thing, cause we have this routine and that's it. That's all you get. And Austin's like, but, but we used to have, we used to have a relationship that had different dynamics and we used to go to each other's houses and just hang out. And you know, Craig is like, well, I got all this now, you know, like my whole life is business now. That's fun for me, making money, getting healthy and fucking my girlfriend. That's what I want to do. And if you're a real friend, business now, that's fun for me. Making money, getting healthy and fucking my girlfriend. That's what I want to do. And if you're a real friend, you'd be happy for someone like

that because I built a fucking huge pool and say, you guys can come out whenever you want. You know, that's my, my, that my fun isn't at the bar anymore. And that's true. He did buy this, but now they have to go schlep over to wherever the hell Craig is off in the suburbs. So like, I just, I feel like I, I think maybe where I'm, what I'm reacting to is that like, all the points that you're making are points I've always felt and agreed with, but I feel like sometimes I get more passionate about like, but let's not overlook this aspect too.

Let's just not let Craig off Scott free, because Craig is contributing to this too. And he's also like, he's trying to have it both ways. And I think he's actually kind of being a shitty friend too. Yeah. Okay. Um, I mean, I, I agree with everything you're saying. I think, I'm sure Craig is just annoying the hell out of everybody. My main sticking point is this is like a main shooting event and you're trying to push him out. And that's just not like,

I don't think he's done anything to warrant that, especially when Shep is there just being fucking vile, vile to the point where the whole cast has to take a step back and Shep is still invited to spit food all over your face all night. So I just think that was shitty, mostly on Patricia and Whitney's part, you know, mostly. Well, you know, never forget,

Craig is the one who tried not to invite Naomi to his birthday party and then everyone pressured him and he finally didn't put her in that. Well, that was his show that she was coming back onto after dating Whitney to get back on it, which was also another fucking sticking point, which I still think is totally gross of Whitney. It's like, okay, you can come back on the show if you're dating me. It's like, where is HR on this show?

But Craig didn't owe Naomi anything. He broke up with Naomi a long time ago. That's a different thing. Naomi wasn't just a lead character that was still on the show being pushed out. Yeah, but then if he's gonna have some sort of proprietary element, like that's quote unquote his show,

then he has to also like do the things on his show. Well, you know, and not just be like, and not just be like, oh, come over and have a pool. I think we just need to agree to disagree because it's like more of the same thing over and over. But I agree with what you're saying. I mean, I do see the annoying side of Craig. I'm just never, there's nothing you can ever say

that's gonna ever make me feel empathy for Austin. I won't do it. I know it's weird. I don't like being, I was like, I was watching the scene, I was like, I can't believe I'm feeling this way. This is a never ever in years and years, ever felt a shred of empathy for whatever argument Austin's ever making.

Yeah. Well, so either way. That's good. I'm glad you're feeling things. I feel nothing. 2025 is a great year. Yeah. So fuck that guy. Fuck that guy forever. Austin's like, I know I want to meet up with my buddy

and like grab barbecue and talk about shit. Like watch him, watch the match, whatever match that may be. And he's like, I don't wanna go to the bar and watch the game anymore. I wanna watch it at my house or at his house. He's like, but he won't, he won't even set foot. He set my foot in my house like three times in my life. Like, what is that about?

It's gross. And so Craig is basically like, look, our friendship's never gonna look like it used to. And I would never tell you how to live your life. And he's like, I'm not telling you like, how to live your life. And he's like, well, then what do you want from me? And I know you're not making a face at me because I didn't come to your house and do this. And so Austin's like, I get it. He's changed, but when you're changing, you're supposed to keep your closest friends the closest or whatever. And so he's like, all right, well, you can either swim or leave.

This is my life. And he leaves and then Craig swims. And now the future of this trio of men is in dispute. I mean, they'll be fine. They'll all still leave. Oh, they're always, this is the same thing they do every year. One of them is always on the outs, you know, and they have to make that one suffer for the whole season. This year it's Craig's turn, I guess, but whatever.

And next one, they'll probably settle in together and say, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. No, I do treasure you, blah, blah, blah. And here we are spending all this energy taking sides on a stupid thing and then they're gonna be the ones that'll be like friends next episode. Of course, well and also this leads to whatever happens next year, which is gonna be single Craig.

So that's a whole different thing because that's Craig right back into the position of going out with his friends, meeting people and kind of, is he gonna slide back into that? Or is he going to, what's he going to do? I don't know. It'll be, I don't really believe that Craig is this reformed like guy either. You know, that whole scene where he was like, Oh, welcome to my pool. It was another scene in his pool. All

the scenes are at his pool, which I guess is your point and Austin's point. But he was doing that scene where someone came over and he was cleaning up soda cans or whatever, beer cans or I guess it was his seltzer I read about later from all over the backyard when apparently they had had some party and he's like, Oh, I have a little cold. Want to get in the hot tub? My little cold. I was like, okay. So you're partying and doing coke all night. So he's not completely this reformed angel, you know? So, yeah, I just always think there's more to the story. I just feel like Craig gets off Scott free all the time.

And I'm like, don't they all though? Isn't this whole season Shep getting off Scott free? What is Shep had to do? Shep immediately came back like, Oh, gosh, everybody, I'm totally different. It's just me, sweet Shep, dating a perfect beauty queen and never wanting anything else. Like totally behaving himself. And everyone's like, oh yeah,

you know the real problem in this group? It's not the grab ass old lech who's like we can't take in public because he's humiliating the entire cast and network. It's Craig who has a job and a girlfriend now. Like, how do you do that? Like he's humiliating the entire cast and network. It's Craig who has a job and a girlfriend now. Like, how do you do that? Like, he's magic. His manipulation is magical. Well, it's like a totally toxic situation. And that's why it doesn't really matter what side you're on because it's always going to swirl together. Like both things swirl together

and create the drama. Yeah. And you know, that's, again, friendship breakups, they're the best. They're the best to look at. And I guess the customary disclaimer, Ronnie and I are not mad at each other. But we're never hanging out outside of this podcast again. Ronnie, do you want to hang out tonight? No. Oh, hi. I'll put on Shannon's bull door hat.

Well, how dare you? How dare you? All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here with us. It is good to be back. Go get your tickets for the Golden Crappies and also our shows in San Francisco and San Diego coming up at the end of the month. Over at watchwhatcrappens.com, check out this video on Patreon. Join us next week for a two-part Traders cast breakdown over on Patreon, plus new recaps

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