Watch What Crappens - #2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!Rumors are swirling that Emmy is laundering money through a dress scam — just one of many hilarious threads on this week’s Southern Hospitality, a show so good that we too would give store credit to these people. Meanwhile, TJ and Michols hash things out, and Grace Lilly dazzles with her vocals. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap In's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and irrepressible Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello, how are you? I am doing very well. Thanks. Uh, back, back in the home home home studio here after, you know,

a scare with the fires out here in Los Angeles, very scary. Um, for everyone who is going through it right now because of that, um, you know, our hearts are with you and, um, we'll do what we can to help out. In the meantime though, we are, what we will chiefly do is try to provide distraction for you right now, hopefully. And what a week of distraction we have coming up for you because today we're talking Southern hospitality,

which is so fucking good right out the gate. Only two episodes into the season, it is so good. I am laughing out loud I'm just loving it. We got Salt Lake City Season finale coming up later this week and we got lots of other good stuff and traders. We're going to recap after this Episode three of the traders for on our bonus episode. That's on patreon patreon.com slash watch what crap ins now, of course The thing that's really pressing for Ron and I slash watch what crap happens. Now, of course, the thing that's really pressing for Ron and I right now in terms of like our work obligations is that we've got the crappies coming up and our

tour our tour is going to start. Is this starting next week? Ronnie? Is that is that possible? It's starting next week a week from Friday. Yeah, or a week from Thursday. One of those the first dates of our tour are next week, Friday and Saturday, San Francisco and San Diego. So you better come out and see us to kick off the mounting hysteria tour because if anyone has mounting hysteria, it's us two queens. And then February 1st, it is the 2025 Golden Crappies. And I cannot believe how soon those crappies are coming up. We have so much work to do. We have so many things to plan.

Like my heart is actually racing. I'm actually very nervous now. And that's because it's going to be a huge show. Probably our biggest show we've ever had with a lot of song and I don't know if it's song and dance, but there's definitely song. There's gonna be a lot of performances and I think you guys will all be delighted. So go get your tickets for that.

Because I don't think there's too many tickets left for the golden crappies. But we are also going to try to stream it as well. So we will have details about that up as soon as we have them as well. So that's really all the news that I have to share. Ronnie, is there anything on your end? That's it. Oh, we're not recording. We're're not gonna do real housewives of Potomac this week. The Bravo schedule is so out of control at the moment and we are sacrificing that one this week.

Mostly because it's just like a very queer, baity, stupid episode. I'm not in the mood. I'm not even in the mood to yell about it. And if that tells you something, then that's kind of where the season of Potomac is going. We will be back with Potomac next week though, but you know what? This week we're going to spare it and put it on a shelf. And that does a favor to that show because honestly, nothing

is going to come of this. Literally nothing happened on the episode. It was one of those episodes where they didn't have anything to do. I need out with a girl. Yeah, it was definitely like also one of those episodes where Bravo's like, here's your girlfriends. Don't you want to hang out with your girlfriends and hear what they have to say about things? Like, oh my God, isn't it great

just being with your girlfriends? And like, no, it was boring, sorry. So we have a big- But your girlfriends are Giselle. We have a very crowded schedule this week and so something's gotta give and that gave. We're sacrificing Karen. We're sacrificing Karen this week. So we'll be back with that next week. Really we are sorry for that,

but something's gotta go, that's it. So today we're here with Southern Hospital. Yeah. And we got, I mean, it's so good, so good. We open up with a lot of intro music and we're seeing all like Charleston, like don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't.

And we are, we land at Maddie's house and Maddie, we're seeing Joe in the kitchen and he's trying to figure out the Keurig machine, which really, I think the Keurig machine, you do three things with it. You put the thing, the little Keurig machine, which really, I think the Keurig machine, you do three things with it. You put the thing, the little Keurig thing, the pod in the hole, you close the hole, you press the button and go. But somehow he's a mess and there's pieces of plastic flying off the thing.

It's a Bravo moment. And you know, we were talking about Brittany from Salt Lake City unable to work her Keurig this week. So it's been a whole, you know, it's been a week of Keurig issues on Bravo, but at least Brittany, we were like, is it because she's Mormon? And that's basically like learning how to inject heroin for the first time. I mean, I don't know. But for whatever it is, Keurig, I guess make it easier. You know what I mean? Like, take a note. The song leading us into this was I know you're gonna love this supernatural power. Joe can't work a fucking Keurig. Okay, get a better supernatural power. You're waiters. You know what I mean?

Yes. That's actually not even a supernatural power. That's just a natural power. That's just a natural power of being able to open up the water reservoir in a very, that's a push versus moment. And that's what this show would be. Yeah, for this show would be what's your buns. Grace Lilly would be like, Oh my God, he can work a Keurig, but he can't open a doorknob. Why the baby?

So Maddie comes downstairs and Joe's like, oh, I made you a coffee. She goes, no, you did not, Joe. He's like, yeah, yeah, we need it, but I may have broke your cure eggs. Sorry about that. I'm sorry, I just don't like men that use cure eggs. Which we get to later with her.

I don't like men in sandals. Okay, I don't think you can start this. Look around at the men that are surrounding you and just consider yourself lucky at this point, okay? Now's not the time to make a checklist. Then we go over to TJ's apartment where there is a persona battle going on between TJ and Taylor.

I mean, personality exploding off of the exposed brick in that household. I'm like, TJ, don't bring Taylor on. Like really, just. I feel like you're working your way into everybody's good graces this year. Just leave Taylor at home. I mean, Taylor is like an eraser.

She's like an eraser on a pencil. Nobody, well, that's useful. That's useful. She's like an eraser on a Sharpie Nobody. Well, that's useful. That's useful. Yeah, she's like an eraser on a on a Sharpie. Okay, so why is it there? Yeah, unnecessary. So their dogs are playing and Taylor and TJ is like, so want some coffee? And she's like, I'd love a coffee. Oh, your dog just threw up by the way. So then we go to Emmy's apartment and she's like, good morning sunshine.

I just got you egg and cheese. Best wife ever. Look at me, basically pregnant. I'm like, oh my God, cracked out Emmy. Good Lord. Can I just have some of what she's having? Because I do something for an hour and I need to go to bed. Whatever crack she's cracking, send it on over.

Yeah. But she's actually not talking to Will in this case, she's talking to Michaels, who's like in her bed, and he's like, fire. She's like, how did you sleep? How did you sleep? Because I've been awake for about six hours. Actually, I never really went to sleep in the first place. I haven't slept in about four weeks. I love the gym. And Michaels is like, I still feel like thought and swollen. She's like, Okay, cool. Well, let's go

to the gym. Let's go to the gym. You feel fat? Let's go to the gym. Michael's walk a day in these shoes. I know. Michael's saying he feels fat and swollen. Sir, have you seen yourself on television? Kidding you 20 year old little fucker.

I'm so fat and swollen. Die, just please. How dare you, how dare you, sir. There are some of us who are trying to be proud of feeling fat and swollen, okay? Don't body shame and swole me. Swole shame me. So then we get a flashback to his birthday party

where everybody's going crazy and everyone's getting wasted. There were only probably like 90% of the party that was like, this party doesn't have balloons. Wow. You know, this party, it'd be cool for balloons here. Cause then we know it's actually a birthday party and not just a regular party, but oh well, like if it's just a failure of design planning. So, um, we see him getting drunk and now I mean,

he's drinking a green juice and Michael's has his hoodie like closed up over his face and everything. And then he's like, so, will just talk to me and he goes, what happened last night? And he fights and he's still at work, you know, and I'll talk to him later because he's a lawyer now I'm going to marry a lawyer. He's a lawyer. It's his first year. He's been to he won law prom.

He was the king of law prom who invented law prom. Oh, by the way, we got some messages that law prom is a thing. So congratulations, law prom. By the way, I took pictures of you. You look fire. You look fire. By the way, I took pictures of you look fire. Also, you were on fire. You were so drunk. You actually caught on fire. Sorry, it's awkward. Need a lawyer from your fire entry? Call my husband. So then accident is we see pictures of the night before and stuff, and then, um, back to Emmy, she's like,

you know, and TJ was, he was just salty, he was like salty as fuck. Like, you know, like, eh, bleh, because Michaels was making out with that dude at the party. And then we just see a shot of TJ being furious, and it's this, this is TJ being salty as fuck. He's like, oh, whatever.

He doesn't really purse his lips. Like a lot of people when they're salty, they like purse lips. He sort of like lets his lips sort of like, he makes us look like he's about to, he's like sipping from an invisible glass. He's like, huh, huh, huh, huh, okay. He does a nose scrunch eye, like eye intensity thing.

Yeah, and then he does like, he looks left and right, like a Felix the Cat clock. He's like, huh, huh, okay, huh. And Michael's just like, yeah, he texted me last night. Did he say fire? Please said he say fire. And he's like, no, he said, love you, have a good night. I'll let you know how my meeting goes tomorrow.

Glad we talked. Hand heart emoji. And then we see a flashback to the party and Michael's just talking to TJ and he's like, like I was kind of upset because you kissed me and then there was like never a conversation about it. And TJ is like, I was just like, okay, this is what it is.

I don't know. And Michael's was like, yeah, but I just like, I would have wanted you to be like, okay, I kissed you. This is how I feel straight up. Like that is like something I would have wanted you to do. And he's like, yeah. I mean, is this how gay people are now that you talk after you make out?

I mean, listen, I don't think that that's a thing. I think that you're making that up. I mean, call me crazy. Isn't the kiss the statement? I don't know. I think you get peened before you even learn anybody's name. I mean, and listen, I'm glad that things are changing. You get peened before you even learn anybody's name. I mean, and listen, I'm glad that things are changing. You get peened before you know what it means.

Yeah. I've just never heard of this. And listen, I'm glad things are changing for a newer generation, but I've just never heard that before. And TJ isn't a different generation. He's probably shocked that somebody is like, what? That's crazy. Yeah.

I mean, I hate to be like this, but it sounds very Gen Z. Like we didn't talk, we didn't establish like the boundaries of this kiss relationship. And TJ is like, but you don't understand, I'm very repressed. So that was like a lot for me. So they're like not really communicating well right now.

Yeah, so then, yeah, like he's glad we talked, but like what I said clearly didn't get to your brain. And he's like, yeah, it seems like you're just really dumb at this point, like get your shit together. I like Michael's and I hope it works out with TJ and Michael's. I worry about somebody that I have to react the way they want me to in every situation. Like I get saying, hey, we kissed and it kind of hurt my feelings that you didn't want to

talk after. Like I thought that was kind of weird because I liked you, which he did say, but now it's turning into like an apology and then, but yeah, you still didn't react the way I wanted. I'm never going to react the way you want. Like you're just going to make people, I would just make people like this crazy, you know? So I, I hear what you're saying. I will say devil's advocate, like they kiss in an Uber and then TJ scampers out of the Uber and then never acknowledges that this happened again.

And Michael's is like, what the fuck was that? And so he's like, yeah, what was that? Like you just like kiss me. And then it's like, we're acting like I didn't happen. And like, you know, like, what was that? I think that's kind of what he's trying to say. What was that? But he's using like Gen Z like terminology of like, we never really had a conversation about it. So we didn't discuss my trauma

and how it affected me that night in the Uber when you kissed me. And listen, I am saying that I do get that. I get him having the feeling it's just like a long time later and they've already talked about it for him to still be, you know, upset about it as a little. I don't know, it's just a warning. It's just a warning sign.

That's what I'll say. It's a pink flag. It's not a red flag. It's a pink flag. It's a pink, it's a beautiful pink flag. It's a red flag warning. Like I'm learning things from the fire from watching that fire app all day.

It's not red, okay? Oh God. It's a red flag warning. Like I'm learning things for the fire from watching that fire app all day. It's not red. Okay. It's not pink, but it's a red flag pink. Okay, it's a different color than a pink and a red. So now we go back to TJ and Taylor. And TJ is like, yeah, I'm just like a little stressed out after Michael's party

because I just handled the situation poorly and I should have talked to him directly and not just like ignore the fact that we did kiss until he goes, right. Yeah, right. It's Penny pukes again in the corner. She's such a good sounding board. I really am glad she's here.

It's just, I love when it cuts to Taylor's face and she's like, right. And then we go back, another flashback to the party and TJ is talking to Michaels and he's like, the last thing I want to do is like give you the wrong impression that I'm actually like happy right now. Hold on, let me scout. Okay, that's better. And Michael's like-

Well, I just wish you were more, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. No, no, Michaels, I want you to talk. I've talked too much. I'm TJ. Okay. I just wish you were more transparent. At the end of the day. You get nothing for nothing and that's the life of the poor because I'd like you, you know, and I had to distance

myself from you because of the way I felt. Oh, for Christ's sake, you got a coffee. That's more than I get after a blowjob. You know what I mean? Just thank your lucky stars and drink the goddamn thing. Just, just tell them to apologize to keep the Starbucks up. Ronnie, I just realized something and I'm like literally freaking out about this. Like actually my heart is actually like racing right now. This is crazy, but I just looked over here to my right and there is a whole fucking coffee on my desk. Like I am going to lose my mind. Like there was a coffee here. There was like a coffee. Like I literally don't even know what to do with myself.

There was an iced coffee. Like, do I even know what to do with myself. There's an iced coffee. Like, do I say something? Do I tell the barista like, why are you in love with me? Like, I'm freaking out Ronnie. Guys, I just got a call from my pants. There's shit in them right now. That is how fucking shitting myself I was over this. I don't know if it's from the coffee or from the fact that I'm like, literally shitting myself from the coffee, the concept of the coffee,

but either way, it's all coming out and it's in the back of my pants. I went to a taco cabana one time with a dude I was dating and I was like, you know, I'm not eating that much today, so I'll just have a soft taco. It's like $2, okay? And he was like, okay, you go ahead and pay first while I'm deciding.

I was like, really? A $2? And this was not only someone who knew my name, okay? This man had been inside of me. You got a coffee after a sloppy kiss in an Uber? Jesus, you're like a fucking beauty pageant winner. What are you complaining about? So TJ is telling us, I never meant to kiss and diss Michaels.

It just was spontaneous and felt right in the moment and I just went for it. And then what also felt right in the moment was to throw myself out of a moving Uber and roll myself down the hill, pass Grace Lilly and into my bed. And I still have a broken arm because of it, but it felt right in the moment. I mean, it's not like we had sex after I mean, I would know your name, for example, vacuum. Wait a minute. TJ, did you what did you just admit to you? And I like the term kiss and desks. Sorry that we had a kiss

and desks. It's like a chip and dip. But kiss and desks instead. Kiss and desks. TJ is like part of it is like I have a hard time expressing how I feel. And Taylor's like, at least you can recognize it. Yeah. And then like right after we had that conversation, there was like this guy there that likes him and just kind of like lick the cakes off Michael's face. He's like a manslaughter.

I really fucking hate that guy. He's not allowed into Republic anymore. And then we see like the shorter guy that like Preston or whatever his name was. And Michael's making out by the pool and PJ staring, drinking from his invisible glass going, oh, oh. You guys, Taylor has something to say about all of this. Wow. Thanks, Taylor. I needed that. I was so taken aback with how it made me feel. And it was that moment that I was like, maybe there is something there. I'm like, oh, TJ, you're the one who kissed him in the first place. What do you mean, maybe there is something

there? You kissed him in the first place. And you've been talking about how there's no gay men for you in Charleston, even though actually we've been seeing more gay men than ever on these Charleston shows. But still the point, that's still a fair point. And you're the one who kissed and now you're like, maybe I do feel something for him. Yeah, remember how you made out with him and jumped out of the Uber? I think you do like him.

I think that was her first time. Oh wait, what is Taylor? Taylor actually does have something important to say about this. What? Yeah, thanks. And then we see this. That was literally all she said. And then the dogs are playing.

And she's like, well, I think that you should talk to him. I think it might be a bit of a disaster. Yeah, it's hard, but you need to be real. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with his The Grinch Holiday Podcast.

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and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then, Charleston, Charleston, Charleston. And now we're back at Maddie's and they're talking and he's like, I'm gonna hug over. She's like, I've seen Michael's hammer twice and last night with number three. And we see a montage of him drinking and getting wasted. And then he's like, at the end of

the night, he's like crying. He's like, thank you for coming. It feels nice to be with me. So then Maddie's like, yeah, I've never seen him like that. Just like God, that's amazing. Yeah, cuz everybody cries on their birthday. I mean, I cried on my birthday, you cried on your birthday. He's like, I did not cry. Joe Bradley, do not lie. Hello fucking L, you cried.

He's like, what, cuz I, cuz I threw a temper tantrum that you wouldn't make out with me For me I'm out of you to be official right now. It literally feels like a dream come true I feel like I can finally be myself with her Yeah, I feel like you played this macho guy Joe, but you fucking cry all the time you fucking pussy. I'm getting a fucking pussy sissy lame ass girly man. I'm leaving you L-O-O at fucking hell. By the way, crying doesn't make you less manly, but sandals do.

I love it because I can fart in front of her, which is such a relief because after you have nanny's chicken parm, sometimes you need to let something out. And at night time, I'll just take out my contacts and I'll just flick them. Now the farting in front of your lover, I get it. Now I don't have contacts. Is this a thing that's like, oh, I can't wait to get to the point in the relationship where I can take my contacts out and flick them at someone? Well, I don't know to get to the point in the relationship where I can take my contacts out and flick them at someone. Well, I don't know, because that's just wasting money. One thing

was farting after you eat something, Nanny's chicken parm. But then the next thing is just wasting your money. Yeah. Yeah, there's like farting as a renewable resource, but like contacts, you have to buy new ones. Are they disposable? Well, some of them are. Yeah, I used to wear disposable ones. I still have eye problems because I used to wear my disposable ones and then I would sleep in them for days. You're not supposed to do that. And now my eyes are all messed up.

I'm like, oh, I wonder what I did. So back at Maddie's, Maddie's like, yeah, but yesterday when you asked TJ to talk, you were kind of aggressive. I mean, we were all like, whoa. Like I looked over and then they were like, whoa. And then like the balloon guy was like, whoa. I was like, holy crap.

Whoa, Joe, whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like him being so concerned and saying like, Joe is not a good guy for you, like that's bullshit. Like it was also kind of pissing me off that you were being so like buddy buddy with him. You know? And she's like, oh, come on, Joe.

It's so petty and stupid. You can be friends with someone and still have boundaries. Obviously, you can't trust him with your like to the grave shit. But that doesn't mean you can't be your friend, Joe. Yeah, but he's like constantly talking shit around this town. And that that was there was that one rumor. Remember that one rumor. And then we see a flashback to the boxing gym where Joe's with Austin and Austin's, you know, Joe's got some weights in his hands and Austin's got a log. And Joe's like, like three or four years ago, TJ spread a bunch of rumors. You were gay. And Austin's like, yeah, I used to tell me because I used to kick

it with him around that time. And he was straight up telling me that you were gay. I was like, bro, bro, can we stop talking about a guy's weenie and beans? I'm literally cooking weenie and beans? I'm literally cooking weenie and beans over a trash can fire in a can. Wait, I'm confused. He was straight up telling you that I was gay. So he was saying he was straight and I was gay? No, bro. Hold on. Let the log explain it to you. Okay, here's the log. The log says straight up is actually an expression. It's also a song by Paula Abdul. Oh yeah, I slept with her last month. Okay.

Malhuské. Wait a minute. So it was like, after I heard these rumors, I went to his house and I was like, why the fuck would you say that people? And he said, I would never say that. I wouldn't never tell anybody that I promise you I didn't do that. And you know, I'm a very trusting person, but now I would never say that. I would never tell anybody that. I promise you, I didn't do that. And you know, I'm a very trusting person, but now I'm paying for it. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. She's just a cold hearted snack.

That's what I've discovered. And Matt is like, oh, three years ago, everyone was talking about the rumor. So of course I kind of believed TJ when he told me that Joe was like flirty or like, what's the word? Uh, gay? What's the word? Uh, gay. She actually said fruity. Oh, I believed him. I believed him when Joe said he was fruity.

I mean, but wasn't this am I still allowed to say fruity? Is that like something that like in the past two weeks, we've had to stop saying the rules are always changing. I'm like, I love that Charleston still doesn't know they can't say fruity. Like, it's just coming to them. It's just getting over there. It's snail mail news. But like, was this are they referring to like, when Southern hospitality first came out like three years ago, two or three years ago? And like, I think a lot of people on the internet were like, Joe's like, people were speculating about Joe's sexuality back then, if I remember correctly. So like to pin it all on TJ, I mean, I believe it. Yeah, I mean, I believe he asked

TJ was doing messy. But I'm saying like, like when he says when Joe's like, Oh, you know, that that one rumor as if like, it was something specific, like the time that Joe went and took a goat and threw it off a cliff and then burned down a like, like a, like a tree or something like that, which I really shouldn't be referencing that I just I guess must be top of mind that that's what the reference I decided to make right now. But that's but the rumors just like that one rumor that you're gay. No, I just

looked at such a good like a it's like, he makes us all like it's like very specific, like awful thing to be said about him. It's just like, oh, that people thought you might be good. Okay. Well, listen, it was very destructive because Maddie thought he was fruity. And so she became a fruit fly instead of being his wife, which she tells us now, that is the reason that I like didn't hook up with Joe for a very long time. I like didn't hook up with Joe for a very long time.

I am very homophobic. And I was concerned that I'd be hooking up with a gay man. It was not cool. So Joe's like, yeah, he makes you feel like you could trust him. And then he like just rolls out of Ubers. Like when I told him about the Luan thing, and then we see a flashback where TJ is like, I am 99% sure that he's up with Luan. He's like, whoa, bro, what happened to Broke On? So he's like, that's when it hit me.

TJ's the one that's telling people that I'm gay. He's like the mouth of the South, which, you know, would fit me better if I was gay. God, I kind of wish I was gay. TJ's like, given that I am the mouth of the South, what does it take to get some dick in the mouth of the South? Come on now guys, help me out.

No kidding. So then Maddie's like, yeah, but obviously I slept with Joe and I sleep with Joe and he likes pussy, so yes. You know, you just aren't addressing the elephant in the room. Wait, where's the elephant? It's an expression Joe. Hello fucking L. So then we go to Republic where everybody puts on their shirts outside walking up to

work. I don't really. Yeah. Can you put your clothes? I mean, listen, you all work out somewhat. So that's good. But why do you only put on your clothes outside as you're walking in the door? It's weird. It's a strange. It's like they're they just must hate those uniforms. They have to wear like a lot of white polo shirts and white button down shirts this today. So maybe they just didn't

want to wear that. They're like, we want our colors and our florals. So they're all showing up and saying hi to each other. And Molly is there. And TJ tells us, Michael's is allowed to feel how he feels, but I don't want to avoid each other at all costs. I only do that with Joe. Fuck that bitch. He, he, he, he.

Uh, um, then Maddie and Joe come in and she's like, Oh my God, Joe, please don't wear flip flops. I count with men in flip flops. I call those fruit flops. Yeah. But what about men with mismatched socks? Joe! So then everyone's sort of like gathering in the back room and everything.

And Joe is helping Maddie curl her hair, which I don't know what Maddie is thinking because he immediately burns it. She's like, you burn my hair! Start with baby steps, like work the Keurig, then graduate to curling iron. Well, like there's another step before curling irons, you know, curling irons are rough. Maybe just like clothing irons, classic irons. Let's see if you can do that before we get to the curling iron. Yeah.

So he's like, we can redo it. You can't redo curls, Joe. It's literally burnt. So then they're like, they're like, uh, hey, Joe, where did you learn how to curl hair? I guess, huh, YouTube, they didn't tell me how long to hold the curling iron though. Huh. I'm like, I guarantee they did. I guarantee that was part of the tutorial. Add this to the list of things Joe can't do for me. No more holding balloons, no more curling my hair. Hey, hey, hey, CEO entering.

Hey party people, what's going on? Leah CEO, season two for the Leah Meister. My hair is higher, I'm hip now. I saw what I was on TV and now you got a fresh new CEO. It's Leah, everyone. Okay, if you got time to lean, you got time to be a cool person like Leah CEO. What's going on, everyone? You got time to lean you got time to strengthen your spleen people. It's Leah motherfucking CEO in here. You want to make

fun of me for wearing polyester? Fuck you. I'm in rayon now bitch. You all thought I was fired. I went back to Vegas. Guess what? That's wrong. I got locked out of my my my house last week. And I spent a long time dealing with the locksmith. But now I'm ready to shoot this motherfucking show. Leah CEO is back. Michaels, how's everyone doing, buddy? How's everyone doing? Let's talk turkey. Let's talk the game. How's everybody doing?

Who's on this? Who's on this? How's awesome? buddy? How's everyone doing? Let's talk turkey. Let's talk the game. How's everybody doing? Who's on death? Who's on death? How's awesome behind the bar log guy? Tell me about it go people want to fuck him Do they want to drink what he pours into a cup? Don't fucking lie to me Michaels I'm looking you right in the eyes. Look at me and tell me He's like, um, he's pretty rough Fuck that guy burn that guy fucking stick. We don't need any more. Listen, we've got enough mediocre people in a fucking mustache. Let me guess, he has a fucking Harry Styles tattoo on his goddamn chest. Get rid of the fucking loser. Okay, but well, I kind of want to have him train on VIP service tonight and have Brad come and join

him a little bit. You know what I'd like for the economy not to be in the fucking tanker, Michael's. That's what I fucking like. But guess what? Cheese sticks weren't built on fucking dreams. Okay. You know what? When a new employee starts that motherfucking Republic, we always want to see what they're capable of. And guess what? You all are capable of nothing without me. You are not seeing, always remember that. Okay. Cause if I'm not here, you're not anywhere. So it's always fun and always nice to try out people in different positions. So get into your

position people. When I walk out of the room, you just turn into a bunch of fucking pods because I'm fucking life bringing in here people. You're welcome. Now marry some goddamn catch ups. And do me a favor, Emmy, get these girls a whole bunch of new dresses. Y'all look like erasers. Do you make an eraser reference earlier today? Because it's in my brain. So basically from all that, we learned that she is going to move Brad to VIP service, where he doesn't have to,

you know, do as much things as like put vodka in a cup and shake it with an olive. Cause that was like the big complaint that they showed when he's like, yeah, he's not great. And then they showed the clip of the girl being like, Oh my God, this dirty martini never going to order it again. He's like, it's vodka with a tiny bit of vermouth and an olive, bro. I know seriously. How do you not know like just the basics before you start your fake bartending job? So then Brad now Leah has left and Brad and Emmy are discussing how their 40s aren't that far away. And then Brad's pointed TJ like, ha ha ha ha. You're old. And Brad's like, I know it's not that far away.

And TJ is like, relax. Okay. Would you please? And then he's like, wait, where were we all born in the 90s? Brad's like, Michael's was it and Michael's was born in 2002, which is really disturbing. He was born after I graduated from college. I don't like that. That man doesn't even know what it's like to go through an airport security without having to take off his shoes. Like he doesn't even know that you know. Yeah, he doesn't even know that that was that was what life was like. He doesn't he doesn't even know that you know. Yeah, he doesn't even know that that was that was what life was like. He doesn't he doesn't understand that there was a life before Friendster.

Actually, he doesn't remember a time when you could bring toothpaste onto a plane. That's crazy. That means like, well, Will was born in 1994. Because in 1994, the gods looked down and said, a new lawyer has been born to this world. And here he is. Yeah, that's also the year that Justin Bieber was born. When he got engaged, I was hysterical. Molly's like, me too. TJ's like, would you have planned his wedding? Molly's like, I would have sabotaged it. Molly tells us not only am I a Martin.

Is it too soon to love Molly? I also love that other Missy like Chabon or whatever her roommate is. Yeah, Chabon. She came out of nowhere. So she's like the Lacey, not Lacey Chabay. She's like the, doesn't matter. I can't think of her. I swear to you, she was the girl last year who said that she made out with what's his buns. That's Sam. Maddie's boyfriend. She's different. Different. Different. Same face, same teeth. Yeah. Same, same category. Same category. Same face, same teeth. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category. Same category That's Sam. Matty's a boyfriend. Different, different, different. Same face, same teeth.

Yeah. Same, the same energy, same category of person for sure. Yeah. So Molly is like, not only am I a bartender at the hottest club in Charleston, I'm also an event planner at one of the hottest event planning firms in the city and I come from a successful family, but I honestly make it a priority of mine to never come off that way. Everything that I've built for myself is completely Molly Moore and not even my

father Benjamin and his pink dynasty can take that away from me. You want to get my color? Just try to match this. Not even my uncle Michael and his crazy liberal documentaries can take away from my success. So we see pictures of her family on the screen and they're like, we have a private chat. So, and then we see pictures of her on tropical vacations and wearing like lots of flower dresses and stuff. And she's like, her aunt Mandy on TV.

And here I am building a new persona for Molly. Bustier by bustier. It's like, you go girl, you go. So then back to Republic, uh, Emmy's like, so is that what you do in your free time? Like stalking Justin Bieber? Is that why you're so tired? Am I right? Guys, did you hear that? It was a good one. It was a good one. And she's like, bitch. Molly's like, I've been at Republic for almost a year. For the minute I started, Emmy's made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Three weeks earlier, Molly's trying to have a conversation at a restaurant with Emmy to

be like, hey, I'm just like feeling like I just don't connect with you. I can't with everyone else about you. And Emmy's phone starts to reach like, hey, I'm just like feeling like I just don't connect with you. I can't have with everyone else about you. And Emmy's phone starts to ring. She's like, hold on one second. Okay, I just got a text alert. Yes, they fixed the squat machine at the gym. Sorry, I'm just like, I'm subscribed to gymalerts.com. So Emmy's like, well, you know,

I was a party ponder for a year or 10, yeah. She goes, oh, were you? And then Brad goes, yeah, but she didn't pay you. Ooh, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And she's like, yeah, I would literally. She was an intern, right? I don't know, it sounds like she was an intern or she was just doing free work,

but she's like, I would literally run here after working 12 hours, I would run here and work all night. And Molly's like, yeah, that's what I do, but I get paid for it. And Emmy's like, yeah, I'm always an insecure bitch. I don't like being in competition with women. It's like, that's a blow me.

I mean, let me just tell you, I won this one, is all I'm saying. Molly's like, yeah, so I did work behind the bar with Will and I just think Emmy is threatened because we had a working relationship and I'll let you form your own conclusion. Like, is there a conclusion to be formed? She's jealous because you're friendly with Will. That's it. I poured wine one time next to Will.

So form your own conclusions and guess who didn't tell me to say that? My dad. So now it's time to be at the club and everyone is like the music is like, and Brad is doing his usual flirting with Lake. I just feel like they're not giving Lake the proper treatment that everyone else has had. She just sort of has. She's been inserted onto the show without those. I don't seem to remember. There's been a moment of love. All she does, all she seems to do is be there. So that way Brad can flirt with her. So he's like, Hey, you work on Friday.

She's like, mm hmm. You work on Saturday. Mm hmm. Do you want to meet up at some point? Mm-hmm. That's it. That's it. I think that she's just a slow build maybe. I hope so. Like maybe they're just like letting her warm up. I can tell you this, that girl does not give a fuck.

Like I feel like most people get onto TV and they're like, oh my God, who can I get a fight with? You know, or like, like look at Molly. Molly's like flirting with Emmy's boyfriend, throwing her under the bus, trying to ruin her life all in one episode, you know? She's like, my dad's not giving me a show, so this is the only time I... This is Molly's show now. But Lake is... They're like, Lake, let's shoot a scene at your house. She's like, mm-hmm. I'm like, okay, Lake, just be you. And she lies in bed and eats. Now, that's my kind of girl, first of all. so I'm an auto fan of fucking Lake, but I

love that Lake's just like, I'm gonna give you nothing. I'm going to lay in bed in my pajamas and eat and like text. Yeah. So Brad tells us, I have to appreciate a girl that makes you work for it. Lake is absolutely gorgeous and she has eyes and a smile that suck you in and I would literally walk blindfolded through a room of Legos just to talk to her. Wow. I mean, is this guy romantic or what? He would walk blindfolded. Well, I hope he also, I guess the implication is also barefoot because to walk blindfolded, blindfolded with shoes on through a room of Legos is really actually not much of a sacrifice.

He's like, yeah, I actually know what it's like walking blindfolded through a room full of Legos because of What's-Her-Face's room. What's-Her-Face's house from last year. Lucille's house. Was it Lucille? Yeah. So he's like, yeah, I have to work for, oh please. So then also I'm protective of Lake. I want him to leave her alone because he's a douche bag.

He's like a known douche bag. We saw how he was with Lucia last year. I did not like that. And now he's coming on and this girl's like 20. So please go away. And Brad is also just like not interesting. I know when he first said I walked through, I'd walk through a

room full of Legos I was like that's like a family reunion for you. Leave this girl alone sir. Yeah so now everyone's like trying it's a now it's time for the like like come on come on come on every like two for one cheese sticks and republic everyone come on in come on in and Brad is is training Austin and Austin telling us hospitality is great because it's high energy, but I never would have pictured this life for myself. I joined the army out of high school and he talks about how, um, he was going to go to Afghanistan and the army, but then he was diagnosed with general epilepsy. Um,

and so now he's at Republic. So welcome. I don't know. So I'm not I really am not trying to be like callous or dismissive or crass about this. But is that like okay, if you have epilepsy to be in like a club where there's like strobe lights going off all the time? Like, I'm not trying to be like, like, is that is this like the best environment? But I could be totally wrong. You know, there may be like snarky about it. Is this like the best environment? But I could be totally wrong. You know, there may be like, it's fine.

But I think maybe it only bothers some people. Yeah, I would hope because that's really putting yourself into the lion's den there. It's like, oh my God, why is that guy twerking all the time? What is he doing? So then we go to Austin in the confessional and he's like, yeah, I love helping people and giving to others. So that's why I like serve alcoholics. It really, really, really gets to that part where I can just help people. You know what I mean? So like Republic is like the big league. So this is like the start of a beautiful chapter for me.

Being able to serve a martini with all three ingredients incorrect to someone wearing a Bass Pro Shops hat, that's like the big leagues. So then we go back, I love all this working in the restaurant stuff, by the way, cause half the shows I'm actually working in the restaurant and being like, oh my God, table five is like, I'm over it, I'm over it.

And we get people gossiping at the bus station, which I really like. So then Michael checks in on TJ at the bar and TJ is like, hmm, so, hmm, hmm, hmm, could you recover from your birthday? By that I mean face swapping with that random, I'm just kidding, I don't really care. How was it?

Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. I'm sorry, I'm still looking around the room. So just stand there awkwardly while I do. Can you focus on me? Eyes on the prize over here. Okay, I know you're the mouth of the South, but you're the eyes of the left and the right. Come on, focus on me here.

And so then TJ is like, so do you wanna go on a walk or get dinner and like talk? He's like, yeah. I was like, what? If someone said that to me, I'd be like, ew, no, sorry, I'm busy. Really? I thought that was such a, listen,

maybe it's because I'm just as inept as TJ at this stuff, but I was like, that's a huge step for TJ, good for you. I know, but I feel like they've now had this conversation three times, and so it's like, okay. So TJ's like, I'd like that. And he's like, Michael tells us, as frustrated as I am with TJ, I really want to hear what he has to say, because I'm tired of the awkwardness and the tension at work. So, so he's gonna do it. I mean, that's, that's cute. So then now we are, it's the next day, and we are now going to a nail spa

where Michael and TJ arrive. And they- I love that this is their date. Yeah, supporting gay culture. I love their life. If TJ had said, can we go on a mani-pedi? I'd be like, yes, absolutely, but not a walk. Yeah, but I just love that, I love this for gay culture.

That they're like, let's show the first gay date at the pedi place. TJ's like, let's show the first gay date at the petty place. So TG is like, so how are you feeling? He's like, tired. He wants a mime. No, because like, I don't think I should be drinking for like two weeks. Did you have to make a birthday? And by birthday? I mean, where you're making up with that slut? I mean, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't say that.

Yeah, it was fun. Okay. Yeah, I feel like it was a good time, except for the part where you made out with someone else and I sat in the corner and I looked around. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. I feel like, by the way, after our talk, like I look up and a guy is like licking cake off your face and I'm like, disgusting. That's rude. Like who would do that? By the way, if you, I brought some cake, if you want to put it on your face, I can lick it off your face. And then we see at the party that he told Molly,

I guess I deserve that. So he was like, yeah, I was like just in complete shock. And that's when I realized there were feelings there, like emotionally. So, okay, I can only look around the room so much. I feel like, okay, 10 minutes has passed. Okay, literally a week has passed So are you gonna say something or?

I have something to say. Okay. What are you gonna say? I don't really know what to say. Oh Well, that was a misleading thing to say and Michaels tells us it shouldn't take seeing me with someone else for you to realize You have feelings for me, but isn't that like every romance movie ever? It's a little bit of a love I don't playbook. I think that's where TJ is kind of off here. I think everything's different kind of dating generationally. I do think it's different because I think this is like a romantic thing to say. Like, I took you for granted, but then I saw someone else with you. I think it's been in like 90 movies and I'm not saying it's right

or that it's emotionally mature of TJ because I get, I just want to say I understand that he's not being emotionally mature necessarily so far in the situation, but I think part of it is things that Michaels just can't understand yet and maybe TJ doesn't even know how to express. I don't even know if I know how to express it, but there's a certain thing when you're like younger and gay, well younger, I just know being gay, but younger and attractive and the way that people approach you. You don't really have to do anything. But then there's this turn when you start getting older where you become the one that has to make the moves. You have to be like, I like you. What do you want to do? What are your feelings? When I was younger, I never had to do shit.

And then when I was older, I was like, oh God, I'm the one who has to have the talks. Like, oh, I hate that. And I think maybe TJ is kind of adjusting to that new thing in life. Cause to us, he's very young, but to them he's like old Methuselah, you know? Yeah, I think it's also just funny that like,

TJ had to see this guy making out with Michaels to realize that he liked Michaels. I'm like, did you not realize you liked Michaels when you brought him the coffee and the margarita and like the five other acts of service you did for him? Like clearly that's TJ's love language is like bring someone like a gift or whatever, you know? I'm getting that he did like him, but he's thinking that this is a romantic way to say it while sweeping all of that under the rug. You know what I mean? Well, I think he realized that he had to step up his game. He had to step up. I think he's like, well, he has liked him all along, but he realized like, Oh,

okay, I can't just like sit on the sidelines and do these small gestures, hoping that Michael's picks up on what I'm true. Michael's picks up on it, but it's also like, it's so small and it's like, I'm going to give you a car. Like it's, there's so many mixed messages that TJ gives because he is in, he has his own baggage that he's dealing with of like, probably he wants to make a gesture to show that he likes him. And then he also gets like paranoid that he acted super gay in that moment

because of probably the damage of like being out of the closet or something. I don't know, like whatever it is that you can sort of see him like ebbing and flowing like the ocean of like trying to show that he likes him. And then I think he realizes in that moment that like, oh, I have to just really stand in it and say like, oh, I like you. Yeah. I don't think he really knows how to do it. I mean, I think what I'm witnessing is twink reversal where you're like, oh my God. Twink reversal. The twink card has just been reversed on me.

Like, what do I do? Because to TJ, that was like a huge proclamation of love. And I was like, wow, that took a lot of guts for him to say that. And then Michael's is like, I don't really know what to say. I mean, thanks for telling me. Sorry. And he goes, no, I don't really know what to say. I mean, thanks for telling me, sorry. And he goes, no, I mean, it's fine. You're allowed to feel that way. Why did we book a date at a place that I can't run away?

This bitch has me down. So. My feet are literally stuck in some sort of blue water right now. And a teacher's like, no, I mean, it's fine. You're allowed to feel that way. And he is just turning red on camera. And I feel so embarrassed for him. I don't feel embarrassed for him. I feel bad for him that he's embarrassed. And so Michael's

like, you were like my first gay friend. He's like, Oh, does that mean that I have a shot? He's like, it's just like disappointing. Oh, I thought that was going in a nice direction. Shot dead, shot dead. So this was kind of a touching scene. It was weird. I loved it. I've really loved it too.

And it was nice to see it. And it was nice to see TJ kind of going through all of that on camera, you know, it was weird and nice. I liked it. But we also never get to see this, we never get to see this from our gay characters. We never ever see them. They're always sort of sidekicky But we also never get to see this. We never get to see this from our gay characters. We never ever see them. They're always sort of sidekicky. And we never get to see them

experience the highs and lows of like falling for someone or just dating someone. Like every now and then they may have like a love interest who sort of like pops up as like a side thing like TJ's like date that he the guy he was seeing last season. But at most we may get like talk about like how hard it is to be gay and you know, like what we saw from Mikkel the first season of the show, like, and he talked with his dad.

So you might see that, but we never actually see gay people on Bravo or gay men I should say, having like three dimensional real relationships. Yeah. Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay. This is the end of part one.

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