Watch What Crappens - #2696 Southern Hospitality S03E03

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Emmy makes amends with everyone after her breakdown on Southern Hospitality, still not realizing that everyone knows her man is talking crap about her. Also, TJ and Joey Marbles open up about a little secret. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watch her crap and add free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer and let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondry app. Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast for all the crap we love to talk

about on your braves. I'm Ronnie that's Ben over there. Happy in hi. How's it going? So good. All right, get ready because some announcements are coming your way. We are going on tour.

We start this week in San Francisco. We'll be in San Francisco followed by San Diego. The next night, we're gonna be doing Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion in both cities. Then we're off to New York City to be on Broadway doing the 2025 Golden Crappy Awards. It's gonna be an amazing show full of song, laughter, light, love on Broadway.

There's only a few tickets left for that. So be sure you get one. Also, guess what? We're gonna have streaming tickets. That's right, they're on sale now. That's a really fun night. A couple thousand people in one chat room talking crap and watching the show together.

It's so much fun, we'd love to read that stuff later. You can find links to buy tickets for that. Also at our website and link in bio on Instagram, I'm sure. It's all over the place guys, get with it. And then the week after that we'll be in Salt Lake City followed by Denver. I almost got it right. Denver. And so it's three weeks of craziness.

Touring, we'll still be keeping up with all the shows here while we're out. So come see us in real life. Get some hugs, get some love. Come on, it's gonna be great, guys. It's going to be so good. And don't forget to go vote for your favorites in the golden crappies.

All the voting is at watch where crappens.com. Yes, do it. And traders recaps are weekly now. They are over on our Patreon as well as well as videos, which this is. All right. Welcome to Southern Hospital. This week is Wyland at Wiley, season three, episode three. The cast goes down to Lake's lake house. Ton ton ton. Yes, we finally get to learn more about Lake. They just kind of like thrust Lake upon us, not that we have any problems with it,

but like they didn't give her any context, and we're like three episodes in, but now we finally get some that will come up shortly. But first, most importantly, we have some intro music, which this case goes, this world is my audience, all eyes on me. Very Trixie, very Trixie Monacle to sing about all eyes being on her.

Nice return to form. Yep. So we go to Michael's, he's in bed and he's like, oh shit. And then, you know, we just see people doing stuff around town and we squatting with the barbell for the first out of nine times that day. And then we go to a bridal shop

and Molly's handing out a wedding dress, you know, she's on the show now. She's great. Cause she does that on her free time. Yeah. She's like, and I did not buy this with anybody's store credit. And then we go to Lake's apartment,

texting on our couch. And it's Brad, of course. And she was like, what are you up to? He's like, counting down the days until I get to see you again. Oh, great. We got a flashback to last night because they went on a date.

And Brad is like, so how many first dates do you typically go on? She goes, a few here and there. He's like, so how many first dates do you typically go on? She goes, a few here and there. He's like, so you're fully available then? She goes, oh yeah. So their relationship is off to a great start. Now we go to TJ's and he's FaceTiming Mia while he's in bed and vacuuming the floor at the same time.

And she's like, I'm training. I'm drilling like five hours a day. It's insane. It is crazy trying to be Miss World. Oh my God. The Miss World Trinidad and Tobago competition is honestly bootcamp. It's like so rigorous, like training hours.

Talk about starvation. Wow. And we see pictures of her like getting ready and we also see her mom was, her mom Arlene was Miss Universe. So she's like, look at this, look at my high heels. I mean, my feet look like gnarled tree rods right now. He's like, honestly, I like really don't care because I have like so much stuff going on in my life right now, but I'll just pretend like I care Mia.

And she's like, the like, honestly, the only reason why I'm continuing to do this is because it's making my mom proud of me. And she says it like this really nice thing, but I was like, well, that's fucked up. It's fucked up. Her mom was like, wow, you're really starving yourself well today, Mia.

You're doing great. Wow, Mia, you had a job in corporate America? I don't know, but starving yourself, moving to a remote island to backdoor your way into Miss Universe, I support it. And when she was saying just a second ago, how she's like, yeah, oh my God, talk about starvation. Oh my God, why did nobody prepare me for this?

Oh please, your mother prepared you for this your whole life and stop pretending she didn't. Because my mother is not a beauty contest winner, but she won like second place in a bowling alley contest one time and she still starved me my whole life. So don't tell me you weren't prepared. She's like, you need to be thin.

What about when your turn comes to take a bowling award? You want to look like that? So Mia's like, so I need to know, how's everything going? And he's like, well, Emmy, she got a huge scene at work and she was like screaming and yelling and Lola was like outside drinking and Emmy was inside having a fight, fit.

It was like bizarre. Just like, and amazing. It's like one of the best scenes you guys have ever had. Can we just stop and just give Emmy her damn flowers already, Jesus. This is what I get, for trying to be a good person. Flowers are ready. Jesus. This is what I get. So, um, Mia's like, not surprised, but that is good. That is some good stuff. Wait, hold on. I'm so sorry. Um, it's, it's time for non-lunch. What is

that? Oh, it's where we all gather in a cafeteria, but we just don't eat. We just look at each other It's where we all gather in a cafeteria, but we just don't eat. We just look at each other and ask each other, try to compare story, war stories about our moms. So then, um, we go to the beach and got a spot for you. Let's share that next to me. And it feels so good to be with friends and family. What did Trixie take a break? Did the outback steakhouse people come in and take over?

Bring back Trixie. I know. So Maddie and Joe are frolicking in the beach. And because it's this show, there are just like a public beach just filled with people. You know, cause like on Beverly Hills, they get their own special private beaches and stuff. So they're there and they're also there.

We're lucky they're not standing under a hose. They just have one of those sprinklers that just going back and forth. They're like sliding with their parents. So Maddie's father, John is there and Mary Ellen, her mother, and they're all sitting under the umbrellas talking and Mary Ellen is like very momlike. She's making like this really nice little charcuterie board here on the side. She's like, you guys hungry? Okay, Joe, it's just so nice to have someone

to pour my love and affection into after Maddie disappointed us for so many years. Okay, want some Brie? Here's the thing, I've come to a thing this weekend because I spent a weekend with friends and we're all sharing a big room and making food and one of those things. I don't ever want to eat charcuterie again. Do you know how charcuterie is made? Here's how it is.

Friends stand around a counter and they put their hands all over meat and they press it together into different shapes and then they put it back down on a plate. Let me tell you how many of those people wash their hands. One, that was me. Okay? Don't ever, I'm never eating it again. Okay? Unless there's a plastic glove served with this charcuterie, unless I see like a picture of a plastic gloved hand, I'm never eating that shit again.

I'm disgusted. Yeah, I think you made a very strong case. I will probably have charcuterie again though. I will risk my life for it. Not that I love it, it's just that, it's just always there when you're hungriest, you know? You could be so famished all you want. Yeah, I mean, cause like that's just what charcuterie is.

Like you, all you want is a big steak or a big bowl of pasta or just something big and hearty. And what's always there is like a board full of little cheese squares and some grapes, more cheese squares and a few things of meat. And and some grapes, more cheese squares, and a few things of meat. And it's never enough for a meal, but it's enough to get you by.

Yeah. Charcuterie. So, you know, it's like a wacky scene where they're like a loving couple. I mean, I don't know, I'm kind of buying it. Because you know why I buy their love? Cause I'm kind of bored. And I think that that's true love.

Like if you're in love with somebody and I'm around you and I'm extremely bored and slightly annoyed with you, but I don't know why, I think it's true love. It's a functional relationship, that's what that means. So she, Maddie's like, I love that you guys are down here full time because like, look at this Joe, like we could not pull this off.

And the mom pulls out a charcuterie board. Like how many charcuterie boards does she have in there? I feel like she just keeps on reaching into her canvas bag and like, guys, here out a charcuterie board. Like how many charcuterie boards does she have in there? I feel like she just keeps on reaching into her canvas bag. It's like guys, here's another charcuterie board. If you didn't really like the brie and Gouda combo, this one is a truffle cheese with some salami. Got it from Zabars and poured it down, enjoy. And we learn a little bit about Joe's sad family life.

Cause he's like, I could only get a charcuterie board at Thanksgiving. I would always be like, please N only get a charcuterie board on Thanksgiving. I would always be like, please nanny, bring this charcuterie board and she would bring it, but she would always stuff it inside the turkey. So it would have lots of salmonella. Nanna's charcuterie board was just like chicken pounded onto a wooden board.

It was like, that's not charcuterie. That's just the beginning of your chicken thawing. I remember one time I was like, mom, this is great, but when can we get charcuterie for Thanksgiving? And she picked up a bowl of mashed potatoes, stuck a spoon in it, and threw a ball of mashed potatoes on my head. And since that day, I've never asked for charcuterie

again at Thanksgiving. So they're like, so what about you, Maddie? What's your love story? He's like, well, you know, like we sell bottles together. So like naturally that's something. And you know, I've just always been Maddie's biggest fan. Like when she was dating that dude on the bicycle, like that was, she was so good in that.

And you know, like she presses play on the iTunes sometimes. That's really, it's great. You know, I'm like rooting for her. And the mom's like, we know, okay, that's why you got salami. Usually I stop at the prosciutto, okay. So when did you officially get together? When was it official?

And he's like, well, I think I asked her to be my boyfriend and we get a, ah, tss. Which I was proud of the editors for not making it an extra gate, like a tss, tss, tssstststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststststst I thought I already was. And Mary Ellen goes, all I want to see is Madison Happy. That's right. I use her full name to speak about how disappointed I always am in her. I just don't get to say it to her face enough. Madison, you're being terrible right now. Madison, that's insane right now. Madison, you're embarrassing the family. Feels good to get that out. My parents knew that my relationship with Trevor

was really toxic, and I feel like they were just waiting for the ball to drop on dating Joe, like the rest of the world, you know? I mean, the rest of the world, everybody out there just waiting for me and Joe to date. It's like, oh God, you've got such an inflated self, sense of ego for someone who's had 20 people watching their show for two years.

But God bless you, you know? Yeah. You are not Ross and Rachel. You're like Ross and like a parking spot at Ross. So Mary Ellen is like, so where do you guys see this going? Hopefully it lead maybe to real jobs, real careers? I don't know. And Joe's like, well, I see myself for the next few years wanting to settle down. So that's like an exciting thing. Like I feel like we're

entering the next chapter of our lives or something like that. Oh my God. He basically just mentioned a book he reads, honey. He's perfect. Why are you so quiet, Madison? And she's like, I don't know. Because this is like a vulnerable conversation with Joe. And she's like, yeah, but like, because this is like a vulnerable conversation with Joe. And she's like, yeah, but like, where do you see your life Madison? She goes, well, mom, first of all, I'm DJ fucking Maddie Reese, not Madison, so you can stop calling me Madison. Okay, thanks very much.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where we're going to go in five years. And just like, like what? Like you want to work at Republican five years? That what you're saying? She's like, no, I mean, it's work at Republican five years? That what you're saying? She's like, no, I mean, it's just hard for me to think about the future, you know?

Cause like AA, you know, one day at a time or like the TV show one day at a time. That lady with the red hair was just so nice to her daughters. Bonnie Tyler, no, Bonnie Franklin, Joe, come on, stick with it. You fucked up, Joe. It will, you're fucked up, Joe. You fucked up about Bonnie Franklin, Joe. You're really fucked up up Joe. It will you fucked up Joe. You fucked up about Bonnie

Franklin Joe, you really fucked up Joe. And it's like, well, you know, like I want to be a badass bitch like who's a DJ, you know, and he's like independent, but like with a label. I don't know if that makes any sense. And like I want a family and like I want to live on a beach. But you know, like I try not to future trip. I just live one day at a time. So Joe's just like, yeah, that's good. She likes to live one day at a time guys.

Yeah, cause like I've had like the worst luck with men. So I have like these trust issues that make it just harder for me to like dive into the future. Yeah, when I envisioned my life settling down with Maddie, I'm like looking at like the white picket fence and I'm like, definitely like gonna propose like hopefully sooner rather than later. Am I ready to walk down the aisle? Fuck no. No, I'm not. No. I'm so ready to walk down the aisle. It's going to work out great guys.

Literally like this is it. This is life, the one you got. So let's go and have a ball. This is it. This is it. Hey, Matty, could you like not do the one day at a time theme song? I know it's like, just like not what I want right now. I thought you were here biggest fan, Joe.

Oh my God. It's a paradox. The universe is ripping apart. Damn it, it just left all of the salami. So Joe's like, what's your biggest dream, Maddie? And she's like, to live on a beach. He's like, wow, we're like manifesting that. Yep.

She's like, if Joe asked me to marry him today, I would say yes to save him the embarrassment, but it would be like a five year engagement. I love that you're like really putting that whole bad ass bitch thing into perspective. Yeah. I totally said marry him just so I don't hurt his feelings. Bad ass bitch.

So now we go to a little cafe where Emmy is chilling with Michaels. Yeah, so Michaels is like, so daddy day club wasn't so hot after all. And we see a flashback to Emmy being like, this is what I get for being a good friend. So, or even a good person.

So she's like, yeah, okay. I probably could have used like a few notches down at work. And he's like, well, everything that happened yesterday, like shouldn't happen at work. And for you to express yourself that way in the middle of service really upset me. I had to have a conversation with Lava about it and guess what? Leah was there. CEO Leah is here to handle business. You got time to cry. You got time to serve some fucking pie. Now get your shit together and get out there. This isn't just a restaurant. This is goddamn war.

All right, Michaels, this is Leah CEO. Tell me, tell me home skillet. What's the skinny I want to know everything. Who's standing, who's sitting and who should be shitting their pants cause I'm walking into the restaurant. Well, she was like screaming bloody hell in the middle of service.

Oh yeah, well she needs to know that that is unacceptable. That is a war crime. And the only reason I'm giving her space is because she's been like exemplary besides that, but one more misstep and that bitch is in a gulag. Do you understand? A fucking gulag. And if you don't believe me,

look at the last girl who messed with me. She's not wearing a cute little dress from Gwyn's today. She's wearing a McDonald's uniform. Pass it along, bitch. Bye bitches. And Leah just leaves on a motorcycle. A little patsy stone hair in the breeze. So, um, so, so Michael's is like, yeah, I mean, even though, I mean, it's not in trouble, I just need her to understand that this could like never happen again. Like outside of work, I'm your best friend, but at work, I'm your boss. Yeah.

Unless you bring me coffee, in which case I'm gonna be your boss who's literally shitting himself right now. Literally, I don't even know what to do. I'm the boss, but right now I am essentially a statue because I am frozen and I can't even move. And so back to the scene, so he's like, well, I'm really sorry

of letting my emotions get to me, you know, putting you in that position. I won't do it again. I love you. And he's like, I love you too. Thanks for apologizing. But I do want an apology from Siobhan. He's like, oh, come on. No Michaels, I deserve an apology for her to sit there and accuse me of stealing essentially that hurt. I was like blindsided. I mean, I felt an apology for her to sit there and accuse me of stealing essentially that heart. I was like blindsided. I mean I felt so bad for Will. He was like what's going on? Poor Will.

Will had to witness all this and he's already got so much on his plate with law school and law prom and law winter dance and law whatever that dances where the women ask the boys. That's a strange dance isn't it? Should we keep doing those things? I don't like that dances, where the women ask the boys, that's a strange dance, isn't it? Should we keep you doing those things? I don't like that anymore. Boys should always ask girls, oh my God, Michael, stop me, I'm spiraling.

He's like, oh my God, why is she worrying about Will? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer, and let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me.

Well, on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives. And honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you wanna to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci,

where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel.

If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your wellbeing, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me.

Well, on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives. And honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you wanna to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci,

where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely gonna hit different. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel.

If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your wellbeing, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. So then we see a flashback where Michael's Emmy and Will are at the inside bar and then he's like, well, they thought I was using my monthly credit and charging them for it. And he's like, and you weren't? No.

He's like, I was just checking the facts. So Michaels is like, the very first time I met Will, he was in town from law school and we were like closing and the lights had just come on and he was still wearing his like law homecoming sash. And I was just like standing at the bar and Maddie and Siobhan and with them. And he just like starts saying these like horrible things. Like, Emmy is boring. Emmy doesn't drink anymore. He hates her body. He's miserable in the relationship. He never liked her in the first place. She has a stupid face. He doesn't drink anymore. He hates her body. He's miserable in relationship. He never liked her in the first place. She has a stupid face. He doesn't like her car. He doesn't like the radio station

she listens to and her pillow is kind of stiff. It was really terrible. He even said that she smells like the blue cheese from inside of olive for a martini. It was really bad. So bad. He's like, but I can't tell her basically. So he's like, but I can't tell her basically. And he's like, yeah, well, like I had to calm down. And I explained everything because Will knows these accusations were just at a left field. I mean, guilty until proven innocent. Am I right? What kind of lawyer's wife would I be if I let that slide?

I'm so glad I read the statute of of whatever it's called, because now I know about that phrase. So then Michaels is like, whatever. So now we go to another part of Charleston and we hear, we're gonna live while we're young, live while we're young. And- Well, guess what? You also live when you're old.

I mean, what do you think happens when you're old? You literally live. As long as you're young or old, you're living. So, so you're going to congratulations. Trixie is really going to have a midlife crisis. She's going to be like, wait a minute, I'm old, but I'm still living. What the fuck kind of

paradox is that? You know, songs are invalidated. What am I supposed to take back all the albums? So we go to Lake's apartment and she lives in a building that looks like it's falling in on itself. Were you also scared for the structural integrity of Lake's apartment? Because I was like, I think someone needs to call a contractor on this on this place.

It's just so it's just so Charleston. Do you remember when we went to Charleston and we went to our hotel that was fairly nice? I mean, we were like, let's go to Charleston and get a nice hotel. So we did. And it smelled like gas. And we were like, it smells like gas. And I'm like, yeah, it's just what it smells like.

We're like, no, I think it's dangerous. Like, I don't think it should smell that strongly of gas. Like fine, we'll move you to another building. It always smells like that. And I was like, yeah, that's the problem. Everybody's like, fine, we'll move you to another building. It always smells like that. And I was like, yeah, that's a problem. Everybody's like, God, I wish there were more old things in America, like old cities with old pipes. It's like, yeah, you'll die.

So Lake FaceTimes her mom, who may or may not be Kennedy, the VJ, and she's like, hi, mama, you look pretty. And I love her mom because her mom is like doing work and is like, ugh, my slacker daughter. We paid for her to go to art school and surprise, surprise, she's a waitress now in South Carolina. So she's like typing like business, business, business. She's like, oh, you look pretty as always.

Like, how's the art going? Let me guess, not at all. Okay, I could have told you that would have happened when we paid $45,000 for you to go to art school in foreign countries. Anyway, business, business, business. Yeah, so we find out that she's a rich kid and her parents are really supportive

and she's been sent to all kinds of schools. Like she's really smart and her mom's basically like, why are you a fucking starving artist waiter? You're better than this lake, you're better than this. And Mike's like, yeah, maybe soon, mom. But you know, my parents are divorced, but I still have a really close relationship with them. As they're talking about her work and her mom's like,

did you ask for more hours? God, do I even want you to ask for more hours? Could you ask for more hours in a shower? Because you'll need it after that place. What a hell hole, Jesus Christ. Have you shown them to your degrees? Is there anyone there with a job or connection to a job? And she's like, yeah, I know, I need to like make money.

She's like, I mean, honey, you're a whole college graduate and on top of that, you come for money, like literally just stop working. Just be a kept woman, we'll take care of you. I just don't want you to be a waitress anymore. This is just too embarrassing. So we find out that Lake was 16 and went to study at Parsons, which is bad ass.

And then when she was 20, she moved to France, where she studied at the Leo Malchus School of Art and continued with art at College of Charleston. And she looks like a good, she seems like a good artist. I mean, I don't know, I don't really have an eye for that like a good, she seems like a good artist. I mean, I don't know, I don't really have an eye for that. I mean, that's like pretty amazing that she got to spend the past six years essentially

immersed in art education and all of that stuff. And so, you know, like any good artist, she is now a waitress on a reality show in a minor market of the United States. So yeah, so she's just doing like the 22 year old thing. Well, probably would make her a really big artist. I mean, look what it did for Danny. So yeah, so her mom's like,

so have you worked on anything lately? And she was like, yeah, I'm gonna start working on a sad painting of a woman who just, nothing ever works out, it's called Danny, but I'm going to make her flowers. And so Lake's like, yeah, my family's traditional. And so they question how I'm going to make money being an artist. Only fans it is.

Just kidding. So Jerry, the mom is like, well, you have to start thinking about your next chapter, Lake. And she goes, yeah, I have to start adulting. Like, can you believe I'm going to be 22? I like, I think I want to do something a little bit different from last year. Oh, so that means you will be getting off your ass this year? Because I think that's what all of last year was for you, sweetheart. I'm going to have a party at your Lake house mother with all my new friends. I'm on TV now, mother. And she's like, Oh, God, please don't embarrass me,

please. So, Lake tells us that her mom's house on Lake Wiley is so special because she's named Lake because her parents actually conceived her Lake. And she's like, Wow, it's really creative. I'm so glad my parents didn't do that. Bowling Alley, you get in here right now. and do that. Bowling alley, you get in here right now. Well, you know, this is a reality show tradition. Let's never forget, Chrishell Stass named after the Shell station where she, I think, popped out. I don't think she was conceived there.

Maybe, maybe it was the beginning and the ending of the pregnancy. Forgot about that. So now we're back to Jerry. I just love thinking, I love imagining that Lake's mom, Jerry, is the same Jerry from Succession. That's like really fun for me. And that somehow actually makes sense.

Like I can totally imagine Jerry from Succession having like a daughter who's a quote unquote artist, but is actually just, you know, goofing off as a waitress down in Charleston. So she was like, okay, honey, that's fine. So who are you talking to these days? Because mom, relationships, I'm fluid. So then we find out that she is, because her mom's like, your generation has different ideas

of dating than my generation. And she was like, yeah, I realized I'm fluid has different ideas of dating than my generation. And she was like, yeah, I realized I'm fluid when I was really young and started having crushes on girls, but I wasn't like, mom, dad, I'm gonna sit you down. I've had boyfriends, I've had girlfriends, I've had flings, whoever. I identify as for the people.

I identify as an artist and a busboy, and a valet person, and a kite maker. I do it all. How about you identify as an embarrassment to your family right now? Okay, please stop working at this restaurant. So, Jerry is like, she's like, well, Lake is like, well, I'm gonna make some food, mom.

And Jerry's like, just please make sure it's something healthy. Okay, we see the place that you're living in. Make sure there's no mold growing on anything. Thank you so much, sweetheart. So then we get the next song. If it's all right with you, I'ma step back and kiss myself. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. I'm gonna say no, actually, I prefer that you don't step back and kiss yourself right now. Singer of the song. Really? Does it bother you? Yes.

You just can't sing a good song while you're kissing yourself. Really? I thought you were singing Jurassic Park for a second. Grace Lilley's like like every morning I wake up and I listen to the Jurassic Park soundtrack because it reminds me of what we as humans can do and if we can clone a dinosaur, we can clone a good vibe. All right everybody, this is Leah CEO. Welcome to work.

I want to see you walk through this restaurant but in slow motion because this isn't just work. This is sexy fucking work people get in here. Don't drop the ball. So Emmy is like, I know who I am. And everyone knows me to be a much calmer person than what I was on Sunday. And I just want to show them that I'm the bigger person. And I just want to like get past it. I'm like, okay, your eyes are bulging

out of your face right now. Can I just say literally nobody knows you as a calm person at work. I don't think anybody's ever said that. Hey, it's Emmy. She's, you know, this chill Emmy. Oh God, thank God Emmy's on. She's just so chill.

Always has been, always will be. So Molly's behind the bar this time, and Siobhan's standing by the bar doing the Siobhan thing, which is being like, and Emmy walks up. She's like, Hey, by the way, chill Emmy is here. Okay. So we're all good. Right?

Like, because I obviously was just like overwhelmed, but like, obviously I'm feeling like a lot better. And like, obviously, I thought I was like coming into work and just having a chill work day. And Siobhan's like, Yeah, totally. It's just like an easy Sunday. Like I regret saying everything on like an easy Sunday. I totally get it.

So do you think Emmy was just geeked out of her mind in that shift because she is really acting like somebody who's coming down from like a bad night where they're like, sorry, I was just, now that I've had time to kind of rinse my nose out and deep breathe and take hisanny, I feel much better. So sorry. She could have been.

I mean, she definitely was giving Ellen Burstyn and Requiem for a Dream energy. Like that for sure seems to happen with her once in a while. Yeah. So Siobhan's just nodding at her like she's crazy. She's like, yeah, I regret saying whatever I said that made you do that. So I'm ready to just forget about it. And he's like, same. So,

so what I'm sorry. It's okay. You don't need to apologize. Hey, let's just like hug and say, I love you. Everything will be totally great. And then he goes, let's sell out. I'm like, well, you're on the perfect network for doing that, so congratulations. He's gonna say, you did that a while ago, honey. So now we're in the kitchen and Brad is, you know, lining a trash can with a new trash bag. And he's like, hey, I mean, how are you feeling?

And how can I ruin that? And she's like, yeah, just talk to Siobhan. We're all good. I can't even believe I was like that the other day. It's like literally crazy. No one knows me as like that. I mean, they know me as Emmy, we're all good. I can't even believe I was like that the other day. That's like literally crazy. No one knows me as like that. I mean, they know me as Emmy, the good fucking person.

You know, I've never acted that way at work. I am like very chill. I'm always like so famously chill. God, I can't tell you how many times I'm chill. He's like, Emmy, you've just put six more trash bags on top of the bag I just put in that bin. So maybe take a- I'm trying to suffocate the fucking trash bags.

Do you understand what I'm doing here? Can you just leave me to my method? Cause if you put in six trash bags, when you're done with one, you pull it out and then you've got five more left. This is what you get for being a good person. People do not appreciate your trash bag tactics. Well, I'm glad that you're feeling better today.

So I was just thinking, do you think that maybe you had that reaction with Siobhan because of something that might be going on with you and Will, dot, dot, dot? Inside voice, you know, him talking about you being a stupid, boring slag and he's sick of you and he's going to dump you for someone the second he finds a hotter person that's also got a TV show. I'm sorry, did I teach you that? Let me just reach into the hefty bags.

Shh, shh, shh, shh. No, everything's fine. Nothing is wrong with my personal bag. My personal life, everything is great. It was the accusations at hand that hurt me so bad. That's all, everything's fine. Everything's totally fine. Why are there not more trash cans for me?

But I put these bags into, I am losing my mind. So Brad's like, yeah, we know Will's talking shit. God, clearly nothing is fine. No, I'm better, I'm better, I'm better. I'm just like, whoopsies. Arr. And he's like, all right better. I'm better. I'm better. I'm just like, whoopsies. He's like, all right, come on, put it on your uniform.

Okay. No, not here. You're supposed to walk out in the alley and do it there. Do it as you walk in in slow motion. So now like the whole, we're in the Republic back room and like the whole gang is back there just hanging out. Some of them are eating salads and stuff. And Lake invites everyone to her birthday at Lake Wiley.

And Brad is like, can we go skinny dipping? Michaels is like, oh, we're getting cheeky, huh? And like, like, guys, this is my parents' house. So we have to be like very good. Okay. And Joe's like, wait, you grew up in this house. So if your name is Lake, is your brother named Damn? I thought that was funny.

Joking Joe Bradley everyone, my boyfriend. Oh, I laughed that one. So then we go to Republic and Lake is fixing Bradley, it's like shirt or whatever. And he's like, I got to keep you around, not just for my pocket square, but because I like you. And she's like, yeah, because I make sure you look good. So then Brad is like, I've never met a girl like Lake before. She's an artist and she's well traveled.

And there's so much uniqueness about her. I know and the chemistry is just off the charts between you two. For real. And it comes to her thoughts and she's like, I mean, he has abs, so. She's like, he's the only one with abs in a 30 mile radius. So I'm gonna take him.

So now it's like, yeah, party time. People are going to the sign, they're walking with the sign. That's like, happy birthday. And Molly is shaking a drink, all the fun stuff. And Maddie and Emmy are standing at a sink back in the back room. And Emmy's like, I'm excited for next week. And all of us together having hung out on vacation

in like a really long time. Yeah, well, is everything okay with the girls? She's like, I can get past it, I can get past it. I'm like, it's gonna be fine. So we come to the bar and TJ's back there and Brad comes over to talk to me. He's like, yeah, I talked to Emmy and she played it down, like everything's fine.

I mean, it didn't look like it. And he's like, yeah, well, why was her reaction so bad? Something needs to be figured out here. Yeah, I love TJ, like, why was her reaction so vague? Something needs to be figured out here. Yeah, I love TJ questioning why someone is having an over the top reaction while meanwhile, he and Joe have not talked in like four months because of Countess Luanne. So, okay, great.

So then Michael goes up to Emmy and Maddie and he's like, hey, what's going on here? Is everything good? Because I'm seeing a coffee cup nearby and I'm just really afraid someone's gonna give it to me. And they're like, yeah, hey, what's going on here? Is everything good? Cause I'm seeing a coffee cup nearby and I'm just really afraid someone's gonna give it to me. And they're like, yeah, no, everything's fine. And Emmy says, she talked to Siobhan and everything's good. Nothing, everything's like at the end of the day.

You get nothing for nothing. And it's not that big of a deal. And so TJ is like, yeah, well, maybe there's some issues they haven't been telling us about, but like, I don't know. I just don't know. We need to figure it out. So in the kitchen, Matty's like, yeah, well, maybe there's some issues they haven't been telling us about. But like, I don't know. I just don't know. We need to figure it out. So in the kitchen, Maddie's like, yeah, but like with girls, like when you have an argument with a girl, you like hug it out with them. Am I right? And Michael says like, yeah, it's just like better for the morale that way. Yeah. So then there are people, people are lining up. By the way, this show is so funny.

The way that they just keep on trying to act like this is the Haas Club in all the South. And we saw that see the line of people trying to get in. I took a photo of it. I meant to put on our social media. I don't have it ready here first, but it's just there was literally someone in khaki shorts and like a Hawaiian shirt and it was like a lady and I'm I'm just like. I know, is this like a line to a tackle shop? It's just, it's just honestly, like it's just so funny.

The contrast between the people who actually go to wait to the image that they're trying to maintain for this place. I know, they're really using B roll footage from a bait and tackle shop down the road. Yeah. So Molly's like, yeah, well, Oh, they're really using B-roll footage from a bait and tackle shop down the road. So Molly's like, yeah, well, Siobhan told me that Will came in super blacked out, and he was saying some things about Emmy.

And like, you know what? Drunk words are sober thoughts. Yeah, that was really deep. So now back at the public entrance, Lake is like, so you're closer with Emmy than you are with Will and as her friend, you need to tell her like, hey, something's wrong with him. And Michael's like, no, the drama that we keep outside of work. So yeah, not gonna not gonna talk about it. It's like, well, it's not my drama, but I was hearing it through the grapevine. So I just was

relaying the vine to the other vines. I mean, he's like, yeah. Someone goes, what did the other vines say? And Michael's is like, no, we're not talking about this. Like, why aren't you telling me what the grapevine said? We're not talking about this. He's like, I've been carrying this secret for a while now, although I don't know if it's a secret if every single person knows, except for Emmy.

It's more just like information that like anyone can see unless you are Emmy. And I know I need to have a conversation with Emmy, but like, how do you say, oh yeah, your boyfriend sucks and he talks shit about you? I'm like, hello, here's how you do it. Let's ask Mia.

Hey Mia, how would you do it? I would say your boyfriend is talking shit about you and saying you suck. It's like, we really see Mia's role here because this would have been taken care of in the first five minutes if Mia had been here Absolutely. So now it's a daytime and TJ is putting on socks and he's shirtless and stuff and Brad's working out And Joe is where people are working out all over the place and Emmy

Speaking of charcuterie Emmy is setting up a charcuterie board now. I have noticed this every single season Now, I have noticed this every single season. Emmy always puts out the best charcuterie board, probably in all of Bravo. And she also has the cleanest apartment in all of Bravo. She always is like, she understands the assignment. She's like, cameras are coming into my apartment. This space will be on national TV. I am going to scrunch up every single drape and tie it with a little tie. I am going to make this bed where you can bounce a quarter off of it and there will

be no dust on any surface. And let me tell little tie. I am going to make this bed where you can balance a quarter off of it and there will be no dust on any surface. And let me tell you something, I always notice and I always appreciate it. I also aspire to it because I definitely do not keep my place as clean as Emmy does. It's also harder for her because she's in the studio. Yeah.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, oh my God, my studio never looked that good and good for her. Commercials, here comes one right now. Now, Maddie comes over with some alcohol-free rosé and they talk about Joe and their relationship. It's like so crazy. Joe was like so nuts.

He literally asked me to get this. He asked me my goals the other day. So they're talking about that stuff. And Maddie's like, it's super awkward knowing that Will was talking shit. Like, but what are you going to do about it? So she's hinting around. She's like, so where is Will tonight?

And then he's like, he's just catching up with Brad and TJ because he hasn't hung out with him at all. I'm sure just, you know, like talking about friendships, relationships, probably the size ring ring he's gonna buy me. Joe has no idea. Let's just like call him and make him feel bad. Okay. Hey Joe, what's going on? He's like, hey, where's Will?

And he's like, oh, he's getting drinks with Brad and TJ. Wow. Usually I organize boys nights and I think you have to be boys for everyone to have boys night. I'm like sad. I miss my friends, but this thing with TJ has gone on too long. So then we go to a restaurant

and this is the boys meeting up, TJ, Brad and Will. And so, Will's still not there and TJ is like, don't worry, I checked his location. He's still at his dad's office. Stupid, stupid real job. So, so then they're just like talking about

how they've like really missed Will while he's been at law school and everything. And they're just like, wonder what law prom is like. And TJ is like, I just feel like we all used to talk so much more, but like we never really had to like catch up because we were always caught up, you know? And like now we have to like catch up and everything. Which I actually get that, like that's the worst

when suddenly friendships are really about just like catching up and not about just like talking shit like they should be. And TJ is like, yeah, like this year with Wellbeing Gone, I finally like nature healed itself and I'm friends with a girl in the relationship. I don't really even think of him anymore. So it feels more natural somehow.

Yeah, he kind of feels like a distant memory. It's like, I can't even hear his voice saying, you really fucked up TJ, you're really fucked up. So then Will comes and he's like, hey guys, hey, just a lawyer now. So, you know, things are great. You know, I would order the quesadilla. Let me tell you, quesadillas taste different when you're a lawyer.

I don't know what it is. So I'm going to, can I have some chicken on it? Maybe that'll change it up. Yeah, let's just change the, change the numerology of that. I don't think I can hear a word that starts with case. Yeah. I can't hear a word that starts with case in the same way. So quesadillas are kind of a no-go for me.

Yeah, can I order an objection? Sorry, it's hard letting the day go. Really hard. I'll have a tune them out. Go ahead and file that for me, would you, Tuts? Okay. So, he sits down and everything and, you know, TJ is talking about, they start talking about Joe and everything. And he says that, Will is saying that that's really awkward that TJ and Joe are in a fight right now. It'd be really much better for them if they were talking.

And TJ is like, I don't want him to sleep well at night. I want him to sweat. I want him to sweat at night, sweat so much I'll have to take his shirt off, maybe his underwear too, take off the sheets. He'll just be lying there naked and sweaty there at night for me to think about. And Will seems to know what's coming because he takes us.

So how are things with Emmy? Oh, he's got his vacuum, he's pissed. Okay, well, look, things are definitely better than when I'm in law school because like law school is so stressful that I definitely kind of project my own things onto the relationship sometimes. Okay, it's true. I do do that.

I do. Well, you were in town and you were drunk. That's what I heard. And Brad's like, yeah, and you expressed frustrations about your relationship. I was like, okay, now you're really like making it sound a lot softer for this guy. Yeah. And T.J.'s like, yeah, to people that don't even matter. He's like, well, I mean, did it happen?

Guilty as charged. Now I know what that means. Yeah, it was more that I was being self-conscious that I wasn't being the boyfriend that I needed to be. That's all, guys. Okay, so he already knows they're gonna talk about this and he's probably already talked about this with Emmy because this is like so an answer that he's like, you better get out there and tell them that you just did this because you weren't being a good enough boyfriend.

Well, you better do it. I'm a lawyer's wife. He said, no, when I said I didn't like the way she looks these days, it's because I haven't been a good enough boyfriend to keep her in the body that she should be in. So it's my fault, everyone. I was trying to say I don't like the way she books these days. Like I need more, more people booked or no cases are going to be coming in. I can't chase all the ambulances myself. You know, I just want a girl that when I go duh, she goes

duh. So together we sound like dun dun. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, on order. So you fucked up Joe. So um, TJ and Brad have confessionals and they're basically revealing again, what will said, all me does is workout. All Emmy does is work out. All she cares about is herself. She doesn't have ambition. She's so insensitive.

She never fucking listens. I'm not sure if that's someone I want to be with. Yeah, not great, not great. You really fucked up, Will. You're really fucked up. So now we're back at Berkeley's and Will is saying like, well, I was just feeling really stressed from school and the back room of Republic always feels like

a safe space for me to vent about things. Yeah, they're really kind of like, they are breaking the sanctity of the back room by talking about this here at Berkeley's. Yeah, that's funny, cause you wouldn't go to the back room the other day to check on your girlfriend who was having a mental breakdown,

but I love that you feel so comfortable back there. And Brad's like, well, this isn't just a one-off thing. Okay, you've been at other bars on King Street talking about Emmy and your relationship negatively. The pillow king even kicked you out the other day for saying things in front of his ex's pillow and in front of his ex's blanket. And TJ is like, yeah.

And I don't think of you anything less for being in your emotions, but Emmy's saying she wants to have kids and for us to be at her wedding. I mean, you have to do something. And we see a flashback of Emmy being like, come 2027, we would be married, living in a house together. And I'd just be like,

pop it out, kids, it'll be perfect, it'll work out, It'll be great. Oh my God. I can already see what I'm doing in 2027 to answering phone saying, don't worry, stop tracking him. I'm sure he's fine. That girl means nothing to him. No, you don't have to leave him. It's all going to work out. Maybe you should have a baby. So back at the restaurant, Will was like, you know, I was just expressing myself. Sometimes I get into like a stress bubble overload. So yeah, it's not really an issue.

Do I think that like Emmy's body now is like totally unattractive? No, you guys are silly. I would never say that unless I was drunk and in the back room of Republic. Listen, a guy's got to have a way to blow off steam. Okay? Some men fuck hookers. Some men fuck hookers and tell the hookers that their girlfriend's a bitch. Sorry. I mean, is she totally boring now that she doesn't drink? Like boring. All she does is work out. I mean, who wants to date that? I mean, I would never say something like that.

I would never say something like, remember when we used to have so much fun getting drunk together and both having like okay bodies, but now you have like a really good body, so I feel shitty about mine. Like, now you kind of suck because of it. I mean, I would never say something like that. What is this, a fucking press conference? Because I feel like I'm talking to a lawyer, not my friend.

We'll just pop into this confessional. Well, as you are, I'm a lawyer. Objection sustained by me. So Will's like, well, I guess I feel guilty. I should have the conversations with my partner. And TJ's like, I feel that guilt for you. It hurts. So basically they're not letting him off the hook.

So now we're talking about a check coming. So Will who's said he's a lawyer 20 times does not even try to get that check. And TJ and Brad just look at each other like, well, I guess we're getting this one. So Will's like, there's like literal studies out there that say it's good for your mental health to vent about your spouse.

And I'm happy I work through these emotions because I made it more resolute in my mind how much I have feelings for Emily. He says about Emily, and he goes, I mean, me and Emily. So I think it was the implication that he doesn't even remember her name or is, but I thought Emily was her full name or I don't know but there I wasn't sure what it was But the implication was like because they scratched out the name and then they put in Emmy. So yeah

So now we have will driving to the here to Emily's apartment It means apartment and he's like, oh man, he's like all tired. And he comes in and like, Matt, he's still there. And they're like, we've been drinking this like non-alcoholic wine. It's like so fun. Do you want to try some non-alcoholic wine? It's like the best thing ever. Do you want to try it?

Well, you want to try it? Well, want to try it? Well, he's like, oh, yeah, no, no, I'm fine. I'm just going to, I think I'm taking an alcohol break a little bit, you know? I don't know. Since I'm about to blame everything I just did on alcohol, I'll just get that out there

so you all forgive me preemptively. Yep, that was a law term. So they're asking him how Boy's Night is, and he's like, oh good, we talked about, you know, there were French fries and we were like, is this a different batter? Do you think this batter has gluten on it? I don't know.

She uses regular fries. What's the difference between the regular and the curly? I mean, obviously besides the shape, am I right? But like, is there a structural difference? I mean, are the potatoes different? Are they a different kind of potato? Not just Boy's Night. Standard thing, just talking about starch and potatoes

and different potato shapes and everything. Team Waffle Fry over here though, by the way. So Will's like, yeah, it's just been, ugh, it's been a long day. I can't even remember what we talked about. Something about, I don't know how much I loved you. Probably, I think that. I was like, I just keep on talking about how much

I love Emily. Oh, God. And this is why I think, oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were done. No, just full of love. Love for Emily. Nothing but love. This is why I think Emmy knew already,

because she's like, but what did Bradley say to you? Like, okay, so he's going off script now. This was supposed to be their big fight. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna go to bed. Yeah. Can't do this right now. He's like, well, you know, it's been a long day. So potatoes, you know, potato, dada, tomato,

tomato, objection, objection. You know, it goes, going to bed. tomato, objection, objectional, you know, it goes, going to bed. So, and then, so Maddie leaves, and then Emmy's basically like, oh wow, what a night. I like, she's like, you know, give me a foot massage. Just kidding, you deserve a foot massage. You're gonna be the lawyer. He's like, no, no, I'll, I'll give you a foot massage.

And he sits there massaging her foot, just staring at like some spot on the floor, like this is one of those moments where I can either stay with her or I could change my life forever and be with someone I really want to be with. I'm going to stay with her. So then we see all the cast packing for Lake Wiley

and everybody's doing that thing that people do now where they're like, oh my God, I need the middle row or I'm gonna be car sick. No, I'm gonna be car sick. I could literally die in the car if I'm not in the middle row. And TJ and Michael's are sitting next to each other and they're like, oh my God,

we're gonna give each other hand jobs. And Michael's like, oh my God, to be honest, I'm like here for it. Like I'm literally like, wait a second, I'm like trembling right now. Like, is he serious? Like, what does this even mean? So then-

He offered me a hand job right now and then he didn't even have a discussion with me about it. And I'm like literally over it. I'm not just your toy, okay? I'm not just your conversation post. I'm a human being. I was like so upset because like, he is gonna give me a hand job.

And then when he like reached over with his hand, there was like a coffee cup in it. He just like gave me the coffee cup. And I was like, is this seriously for me? Like I'm gonna shit my pants right now. So they all get heading over there. And Joe's like, yeah, this is like when I was a camp counselor on the lake.

And like, what do you mean a camp counselor? Who are you counseling? He's like, I was a camp counselor on the lake. And like, what do you mean a camp counselor? Who are you counseling? It's like, I was the YMCA Christian camp. So loved it, nailed it. But I shouldn't say that because it was Christian camp. But still, it was so cool. Yeah, before I was Joey Bottles, I was Joey Bibles. And it brought me like closer to God.

And like, maybe I need to bring like Joey Bibles back. Like, being Joey Bottles, it's like exhausting. Joey Bibles is more exhausting, trust me. It's a lot more. You have to preach. So then we see him looking all Justin Bieber-like and he's like got a cutoff shirt. I love that there was a hot ass. I feel like that's how they get you Christianity because they've got Jesus who's hot. And then every time you go to Christian camp, the counselors

are so fine. Like they don't let the ugly kids do it. They're like, we want hot, we want hot otters in crop tops. Yeah. And then they're shirtless all summer because they're swimming. So then, Emmy is, she's texted Michaels and her text is like, so by the way, if you get to the house first, get us a good room and make sure to put a new trash bag in the trash can. So just as perfect. And he's like, Oh my God, like I'm, Hey, Emmy, I'm like literally rooming with TJ. And like, he, he just asked, he said, by the way, like the gays want a cuddle. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she writes him back,

are you joking question mark, question mark, question mark? This is what I get for being a good person. So then he's telling us, I feel like I need a little space from Emmy right now. Cause like, you know, when your friends are really going through things, that's when you should like cold shoulder them. I mean, it's just mother nature.

Yeah. So they get to the house and was like, Oh my God, wait, Lake, you're rich. We didn't know about this Lake. We just thought you were just some random who's trying to get camera time. You mean you, you don't even need this job. You don't even need this fame.

You're just like set. Okay, everyone be friends with Lake. fame. You're just like, Seth, okay, everyone, be friends with Lake. Yeah. And Molly's like, yeah, when you said Lake House, I thought it was gonna be like a dead stuffed fish on the wall, but wow, this is a house. This is like Southern living. Brad's like, yeah, I know I said I wasn't like

for anything serious, but damn, maybe I am. I like that he's like, he stumbled backwards into like dating a really rich person. His dream. So she's like, yeah, I'm really successful. Like my family's really successful. We have a hair care business, a law firm, an MMA company, naturally, you know how it goes. Three dentists practices, uh, Rucker education fund. Fund, did I mention MMA?

It's like, yeah, I love this family. I love this family, but I also love how none of it really makes sense. It's like, okay, we, okay, hair care and MMA. Last time I checked, everyone in MMA has no hair left. I don't know what that is. But have you seen Jert Rogan? Have you seen what, John, what's his face? No.

John Cena? No, Joe, Joe, there's that guy. John. Your MMA knowledge is killing. No, John. John is like MMA, MMA, John. The. Your MMA knowledge is killing it. You know John, John, MMA, John. You know that guy, John.

John Jones, John Jones. Even better, John Jones. That's funny. You know the guy with a really distinct name, John Jones? So, like, do you want to see your room? Okay, so now it's room picking time. So they all do that. And then they're unpacking

and just getting comfortable and stuff. And Emmy's like, wait, what's going on with the gays? Cause like, did I miss something? Like, cause you're like best friends with the gays. Like I am, like three days ago, Michaels was still heartbroken about TJ and now he's with TJ. What is going on you guys? Does anybody know? And she's asking the other girls. I am like three days ago, Michaels was still heartbroken about TJ and now he's with TJ.

What is going on you guys? Does anybody know? And she's asking the other girls. She's asking Emily, Siobhan and Molly and they're like, um, we don't know anything. Sorry. Here's what we know. Someone ripped us off with dresses at work, but otherwise haven't heard anything. Yeah. And, um, everyone's just like getting changed. This is a funny trip because this house is huge, but they only have full size beds. So everyone's going to have to be like sleeping like on top of each other. It's like forced cuddling, which is exactly probably what is perfect for this show. So Brad's like, man, I thought I'd be in Lake's bed, not our bedroom.

It's a little different. Oh, I guess you already said that part, but I mean, yeah. Spiral. So, basically Molly's like, well, I understand why Michaels doesn't want a room with Emmy, because if I was holding a secret like that about one of my really good friends, I couldn't even look them in the face. Like, I don't even like Emmy,

and I still couldn't even look her in the face. I mean, I just tried to look her in the face and I couldn't look her in the face, but I wasn't feeling bad for Michaels. It's just, she has a really scary eyes. Sorry. When I look at me in the, when I look at me in the face, all I see are stolen dresses. So then, um, uh, yes. I mean, it's like she's discombobulated because her entire plan is

like ruined, which is to spend the day, spend the night, the weekend with Michaels and, you know, yammering into his ear, like about every single part of her, every single problem she has. So now we go to TJ in Michael's room and TJ is like, so what are you going to do, Michael? He's like, oh, I need to have like a conversation with her about Will. And I'm just going to have to be like, we really need to have a chat. And then just like try to stay calm the whole time. And I just like don't want her to get upset and start crying. Cause it's like, gross straight girl crying.

It's like, oh, I don't have the time for this. Oh, she's gonna cry. I know. So then Brad, Austin, Siobhan, everyone's like splitting up onto the pontoon boats and stuff like that. And so like the kind of the big cast goes on the pontoons, which leaves Maddie and TJ talking in the pool.

She's like, I feel like now would be a good time for you two to talk since you haven't started drinking yet. You guys should do it right now. Do it right now TJ, talk to Joe. TJ is like, there's like a lot that needs to be said. And Maddie's like, Joe talked to me all the time about his rift with TJ and started causing him like so much anxiety. And like, Joe talked to me all the time about his rift with TJ and started causing him like so much anxiety.

And like, I know he misses his best friend and that they miss each other a lot. They just like need to talk like L-O fucking L. Yeah. And TJ is like, well, but I mean, I do want to address the thing about me talking about his relationship with Luan, cause like, or well, I shouldn't say relationship,

boning, boning that skank. But you know, I shouldn't have done that. Like it was a weak moment. It was pretty fucked up with me and like, I get it. But like I'm hurt by nasty messages he sent to me. Okay, no, just stop then. You started it and he sent you nasty messages. So just say, I'm sorry.

And I forgive you if you're nasty messages. Yes, yes. And he goes, well, it just made me realize the hold that Joe has over me. I'm gonna somehow make myself into a strange victim in all this. Just go with me on this one, Maddie, because this is gonna go in a direction that's kind of fun.

Okay, so one of the big reasons I haven't spoken to Joe is because I think he has to take accountability for things that he never has. And I wanted him to feel like a loss, but it wasn't just the Luann issues. It's much deeper. Oh, I'm not gonna lie. I'm gay, of course it was all the Luann issues.

Luann issues take up 75% of an average gay man's life, but let's just put it to the side for a second. I'm not jealous of Luann, I'm jealous of Joe. The fact that Countess Luann de la Zepse is playing a role in this arc is so amazing to me. So the fact that Countess Luan de la Zepsa is playing a role in this arc is so amazing to me. So funny. So he's a producer says, so there was a rumor TJ that something happened between you and

Joe. What was it? And he's like, um, it's complicated. I think you should ask Joe because I will get crucified for adding somebody. So they do ask Joe and Joe's like, okay, well, basically when I subbed it at TJ's house, I slept in his bed with him. And maybe it's just so like, I'm used to like sleeping

next to a girl, like I was blacked out and like, oh, you know, I'm like a cuddler. And like, I would grab like the girl I was hooking up with at the time and like stick my dick in her and like make out with her a little bit. But it doesn't really mean anything. It's just like basically taking a peppermint as you leave a restaurant. Like it's just how it is. Sorry. Yeah. Just like, you know, ever since I was Joey Bibles, it's just, that's what I would

do. So then TJ is like, Joe has definitely sent me mixed signals in the past, but I never thought that Joe was sexually attracted to me until we did share a moment together. And it opened up my mind to think that like there may be something more. So do they fuck? What do you think? I think it was like a hand or a blowy or something like a cuddle and a blowy or something or like a cuddle and a make out. I can't tell. I can't tell. I can't tell if it was just like a cuddle. I can't tell if Joe is understating it. I can't tell if TJ is over, is like thinks it was more than it was.

I'm gonna need more. I'm gonna need more. It's hard to read them because they both have fucked up eyes when they're telling the story because Joe looks like he's terrified. His eyes are wide open. He's like, oh, and then like, I don't know. Like I just kind of like reached over.

Like, I don't know, like what? And then TJ is like, yeah. And then we shared a moment and he's like shifty looking all around the room. So I'm like, I don't know, like what? And then TJ is like, yeah. And then we shared a moment and he's like shifty looking all around the room. So I'm like, I can't read your body language. You both have shifty eyes. I don't believe either one of your eyes. You're both lying.

Yeah, but like TJ comes from like this like really repressed Southern kind of like background where, you know, like, you know, if you watch any of any movies, like any of those British movies about repressed people, sharing a moment is as simple as both your fingers touch a spoon at the same time. It's like, Emma Thompson or Anthony Hopkins touch a spoon. Emma Thompson's not directing this.

This is Southern hospitality. On Southern hospitality, I think there's a blowy involved. Okay, this is a Downton Abbey for fuck's sake. But I think that for TJ, actually those Downton Abbey moments are like, those happen to him. He's like, um, Joe just passed me a spork and I kind of feel like there was something more to it. Yeah, it could be, it could have been like a cuddle or something like that. I don't know. I think it was a probably, it was probably a cuddle and maybe there was like some morning wood too.

So probably really sent lots of interesting, but, or maybe it was, it was anytime wood, who knows. Yeah. Or, and we've talked about it before on this show, but like when, you know, there's like a straight guy thing when they have a gay guy friend, especially if they haven't had one before where they're like, I wonder if they like me, I wonder if they would like me. Yeah. And gay guys are so casual about sex anyway, like maybe I can experiment and they don't understand that this poor guy is like in a drought without any kind of like actual feelings. Like you

get a little bit and it's like, give it to me. Give it all to me. I will marry you. Been there. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever happened, I support it. So then we see a flashback to last summer, which was cut. We didn't see this in the show last summer, did we? Where he's sitting with Joe and he's like, well, I don't know.

Like, I question my feelings for you a lot. And like a lot of times I look at you as more like than a friend and like, I don't know. I'm in love with you, dude. What? How could you cut that out? I'm, I was shocked. And so then TJ, then TJ tells us, I think that Joe always knew I was in love with him

and then he used that as an element of control in our friendship. And I feel like this is the first time I've had the upper hand and gained power back, all thanks to Countess Luanne de La Seps. But what's his power? This is so fucked up. What's his power?

You made him mad and now he's just sending you mean texts? I feel genuinely bad for TJ because like Joe has no power over TJ, but TJ I think believes he has power because TJ's in love with him so he's gonna do so much. Like I think he's trying to say that like, Joe takes advantage of like the fact that like, I'm clearly in love with him.

And so he knows that he can like sort of walk all over me because I'm always going to allow it. So in this way, by making Joe feel really guilty about the text messages, it's his way of like making Joe realize that TJ is not some patch of dust to be sucked up by a vacuum. Well only time will tell what these kids is thinking. I'll tell you that. But that was a pretty good episode. I'm surprised that they cut that gay storyline out and then decided, no, we'll put it back

in this year. This year, it's good. The waters are clear. Let's do it. But standing ovation for this show for like, again, really centering some very strong LGBTQ storylines. I mean, like, we really are getting like, this is something that happens, I think, with gay guys, you just talked about it. Like a lot of times this happens where like a straight guy can kind of like toy with like a gay guy's heart a little bit. And we're kind of seeing that happen

with TJ. And then we have TJ with Michaels. I'm about to say I'm actually as silly as this show is, it's kind of seeing that happen with TJ. And then we have TJ with Michael's. I'm about to say, I'm actually, as silly as this show is, it's kind of doing revolutionary things on Bravo. Yeah. Well, everybody, we sure love you. Okay? We do. It's been a fun time. We'll be back tomorrow.

What did you mean by that? What did you mean by that? I'm getting kind of a mixed message. And then you never called me again. Like how am I supposed to feel about that? Oh, hold on. I just shit myself. All right, we'll be back with the low deck,

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