Watch What Crappens - #2702 RHOSLC S5E17: Shaky Alibaba - Live from SF

Episode Date: January 25, 2025

We’ve kicked off our 2025 tour by tackling part 1 of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion!  Actually, it’s part 1 of part 1 since we’ve divided the recap into two parts.  In this episode, Lisa and Whitney quarrel about Alibaba, going the distance, and podcasters.  Also, Braunwyn attempts to clear the air about her diamond jewelry.  Thanks for a great show, SF!  See you tonight, SD for part 2!To listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watch her crap and add free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into baby. This is Kiki Palmer. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondry app.

Goodbye, Carl! Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens?

What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens?

What happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? Hello, you guys! Yeah. Wow. We're back. Honey, we're home. You guys, so good to see you.

Oh, my God. It's so nice. It's also so weird to be here with other people and not just Ben. It's like, it's been so long. I feel like we just opened our relationship. All right, let's all put your keys in a bowl. Now, as many of you know, this is our very first night

of the Mounting Astoria Tour. Hey! I'm starting it up right. I know we have some of our sponsors here in the house. I know we got the Bay Area Betches are here. Oh. I trust that there's some more. I don't know who else is here, but I

trust that there's some more sponsors here. We've got else is here, but I trust that there's some more sponsors here. We've got Bronwyn and the hot dog outfit in the front row. We also have some Angie K representation back there. Stand up. I want to see. Oh my God. Oh, baby. Oh, baby.

That's another hot dog. She is Greek. Okay. Wait, but seriously, guys, I don't know if you guys know this, but tomorrow is our 13th birthday as a podcast. Yeah. Which also means that this is our Bar Mitzvah weekend.

Welcome to the Crappin's Bar Mitzvah. Welcome to the Crappens Bar Mitzvah. It means so much to me to finally be able to do this. I like to dedicate this Haftorah to my husband Seth. Seth, would you like to say something? Blyaaach! Thank you, Seth. So the Bravo News has been, you know, really sick this week. First of all, there was the Brynn stuff

from Real Housewives of New York, so feel free to just get it out. Boer. Let it out. I didn't really, I mean, I'm sure she heard me. She did an article in Rolling Stones. We don't need to get into that, but that was sick. And then I don't want to start it off screaming

and yelling like, fuck her! But, uh. But why not also? It's our Bar Mitzvah. But, uh, also I opened the news the other day, and by the news I mean Instagram, of course. Who the fuck opens the news anymore? The news is just like, we're getting rid of Dutch apples. No

more Dutch apples. We said so. They're anti-Christian. So I don't do that. But I opened my news, gay Instagram, you know, Bravo Instagram. And it was like, Teresa's dead. Teresa Giudice is dead. I was like, Teresa? Teresa is the first fucking person to die out of Bravo. When I tell you, I cried and I immediately started blaming Louie, of course. I was like, I knew he was gonna do it. I called this, I called it. It took all of my energy not to go on Instagram Live

and be like, I told you fuckers, Louie was gonna kill Teresa, I told you. Yep. Some fucking TikToker lied, Teresa didn't die. So then I had to go through a remorting process where I was like, Teresa's alive. Ha. Kind of like, Teresa, are you alive?

Blink once if you're alive. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Okay, that's actually the sound of her EKG. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Blink. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Browsing, bling. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. Browsy little whore. Theresa, go towards the light, huh?

The light, I don't see no light. Theresa, go towards the pizza oven, Theresa. Louis is like, Louis is like, hold on, let me take over. Go towards the light! like, hold on, let me take over. God, there's the lights! Wait! Imagine if that's just a medical center's just had Louis on call to just scare straight people who are about to die.

Grr! You know what? A really weird Bravo headline that I read earlier today, and I forgot about it until just now, because I was like, I'll type in Real Housewives. Do you know that Asap Rocky is in a lawsuit right now? He is. And you know who the first witness was in his case? Erica Jarrardy's son. So what a life. What a world we live in. You don't know what I go through at night. My son's a cop.

He had to wake up and testify at the ASAP Rocky case. You both know what gives me a high. I leaned somewhere at home just like, oh, beast. OK. My denim jumpsuit just like, oh, hey, Sap Rocky, no. Rihanna, stop calling everybody in the universe. Rihanna's just giving that shit away now, you know? Yeah.

It's like when you make out with the hottest guy in the bar and you're like, oh my God, that hot guy just made out with me and they're like, we've all had him. You were the last in line. The big news is Rihanna reached out to Mary Cosby and was like, I love you. I love Robert Junior. Rihanna, stop giving that shit away, man. I mean, literally tomorrow, there's

going to be an expose with Angie Harrington. Be like, well, Rihanna called me. Rihanna just called. Everyone in Salt Lake City at this point. She's even called the chef at Villa Tuscana. Ha ha ha ha ha. Puccino's in Tuscana. Sorry.

Oh, I lost my mic. Hello, am I back? That was planned. I was like, just cut Ben's mic one minute. That was Rihanna. It's my show. Yeah. I did it my way.

Well, everyone, welcome to watch our crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We just love to talk about you know, when we said we were going to recap the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion, we actually got some people who are like, Please don't. Please, I beg of you anything else. What the fuck is wrong with you? This is the best shit we've ever had. My god. Are you gonna like slap a tortilla during a famine? No. Eat that shit it's a

tortilla. What's wrong with you? They're like please do another recap of when Roni went to Puerto Rico and walked around old San Juan and looked at Abe's dick. Yeah. Jezelewish! Jezelewish! Naomiwish! Oh, you know, it was amazing before the show. Tonight we went to dinner. We were walking through Hayes Valley.

And of course, because we're lunatics, we're out here, I think I said like, oh, I love that. By the way, I love that line that that that Uba says. We just say it all the time now in traffic. Oh, really? You cut me off. Just tell me. So of course, Ronnie starts yelling,

I wish they had me wish. At which point, two people who are here today turn around like, oh, my God, Ben and Ronnie. So, yeah, I'm sorry, Ronnie, we're going to have to cancel your house insurance because there are trees too close to your house in the middle of your city being on fire. Oh, really? Just out of it!

Get off me, wish! Everybody's getting it from me. It took two years, but we finally have a quote from the new Roni cast. Cackling hags. Cackling hags. Cackling hags. Cackling hags. Cackling hags wish, right everyone? Aaron just trying to do it.

It feels really good to be back by the way. I have to say this is so fun. All right, let's get going here. Hold on a second. I said I wasn't gonna scroll up and I did. Scroll daddy. Scroll daddy. I want a guy to scroll with me.

Ew, I just accidentally licked the microphone. How could you say that? Oh, that mic's been licked by everybody. Don't feel special, it's the Rihanna of mics. I just got a DM from this mic about how good we're doing. Already ready to get serious. OK. Previously this season on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. It's so nice to have a new year. A new year with new friends. Friends are like library books. Some you read, some you return, but the library is always there. And it's always

fun and it's always free. There are receipts, there are proof, there are timelines. When you get your receipt, you can use that as proof of there being timelines. Hm. My toddler said that Whitney is selling items from Alibaba. You exploited my vagina.

Whitney, that was last season, Aw. You exploited my vagina. Whitney, that was last season, and how dare you imply I have a eating disorder. Can we do that again? I don't get my jewelry from Ali. Lisa planted it. Okay, you know what? You're fucking lying. Okay, hold on one second.

You're fucking lying. Hi, Taco Bell. I want you to investigate Whitney and go the distance. I also want a chalupa. Sometimes in life, we investigate. We investigate our friendships. We investigate our feelings. We investigate our feelings. We investigate our relationships.

We investigate proof, receipts, timelines, receipts, proof, timelines, receipts. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I have an announcement. I'm sorry, like what about me? What about me? me, excuse me. I have an announcement. I'm sorry, like what about me? What about me? Well, okay, I've got an announcement.

Guys, guys, guys, I have an announcement, okay? Guys, this is serious. It's one thing that I've like, I've been honest about everything, but one thing I've withheld. Jared bought a stapler. It's been a moving,inging. That's going to change my life. Who's Jared?

Sounds stupid. You have high body count hair. This is Greek mother hair. That is high body count hair. High body count mother, high body count mother, high body count mother, high body count Greek mother. High body count, mother. High body count, mother. High body count, Greek, not Greek. Todd and I are in a great place. We're in a great place, yes, yes, yes. We're in a great place.

You know, he buys me jewelry. I charge his Palm Pilot. He lies on top of me and breathes where the originals breath into me. And gags me. And I get a hot-dragged dress out of it, so that's good. We're healthy, yes. We're healthy, yes. We're healthy, yes. We're healthy. Lisa betrayed me. Lisa betrayed me. Lisa. The one thing I wanted was for you to agree with me right now. You couldn't do that? You couldn't do it?

You couldn't do it? I'm cranky! At least you're not in seat 17C! Huuuh! Huuuh! Huuuuh! Wait. Wait, everyone. I feel like I need to say something to help us heal.

I feel like... I feel like Milly has something to say to the group Are you recording me? Guys we got rid of Monica but we didn't get rid of the illness the illness that seeps into every friendship. If you're not paying attention to the proof, the receipts, the proof, the timeline,

the receipts, the proof, the timeline, the receipts, the proof, the timeline. Three. Guys, bad news. Jared had to return the stapler. And scene! What a glorious season. Oh, this is a part of the show where we extend an apology, really, to the husbands.

We're so sorry. Please do. To all the husbands who are dragged here tonight, God bless you. You deserve some kind of a tax credit. Now get over it, all right? It's not gonna get any better. It's all downhill from here,as. Alright so here we are

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion part one. Now we're at the set this beautiful set it says Bezos because Bezo party I mean I was like a little shocked they didn't do that cave in Milwaukee that they had charcuterie in, but fine. Bezos party it is. The salt cave that they keep going to where they have like the folding chairs. I'm like, we need to have a serious discussion in the salt cave. I know.

Or the parking lot at Camp Day where they were just like on the shoulder of a highway. Yeah, this show is the best with parking lots and the shoulder of highways. We're going to do a live show. We should have done our live show in Salt Lake City I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So Heather's teeth Yeah, they're so beautiful like they're so big and like white I want those teeth, where do you get those? I mean, how come they they advertise everything else on the Instagram. I want to know where to get the tea Listen doesn't even like me anymore. I just asked her she'd be like fuck you knocking my teeth, bitch Listen, I mean as far as I heard you go to Utah and you get a picket fence, so congrats for her.

Now, you know I love reading the Reddit and all that. That's my favorite. That's my favorite book. Reddit is my favorite book. They hate Lisa Barlow over there. Oh my God. They hate her. And it's hilarious.

Like, I read every thread and just crack up how like how much Lisa bothers them that hateful woman like Yeah, that's why she was hired stupid but um, I Love that Bravo doesn't hate her. They gave her the whole set. They made it the base house party So space house party, you know, it is funny Everyone keeps saying like oh my god Lisalow, villain of the season, right? And I'm kind of like, is she? I feel like Lisa Barlow is just Lisa Barlow, right?

Barlow just doing Barlow, right? I support my Lisa Barlow. I love a lukewarm woo. I know. So clearly. And I told Ben, feel free. I told Ben I can't wait to get back there and get booed. I love letting it just wash over me, you know?

But wait, we'll get to the Rom One section soon. We'll warm you up first. We'll butter you up first. So yeah, so it's the Bezos party, and everyone is starting to arrive. It's like that backstage stuff and hair and makeup, and then coming out onto the set and sitting down one at a time in that standard way. Hola, Andy! Hola! Hola!

This is just like tequila Mexico. The theme is red for some people. I don't know, this show is so not together. This show, they do whatever the fuck they want. They're like, okay, everybody, the theme is red for some people. I don't know, this show is so not together. This show, they do whatever the fuck they want. They're like, okay, everybody, the theme's red. Pink? Got it. Oh, wear pink then.

It's bright green. It's red. Why are you in pink? Bronwyn is dressed like the dancing emoji, you know, the lady who does the dancing. But like she was run over in the street. She's just been flattened. It's like out to here. It's giving blood clot chic for sure.

Which if you watch Big Business, you realize it's not a burns the highest compliment you can give. Heather and Whitney come out and they do their stupid handshake. Let's do it. OK. Oh. Oh. Oh. Macarena.

And then Whitney goes, Oh, hi, Lisa. By the way, I feel bad for Whitney because I feel like no one told her where Andy Cohen was because you know that like the entire reunion she was sitting away from them. Hold on one second, my microphone keeps on popping on out here. One second. Sorry if I'm going in and out. Anyway, Whitney's an idiot. What were you saying Whitney, what now?

She was, the entire reunion, she was, she was sitting aiming at like a whole different set. Well, she's not used to being on the end. God bless her. She got put all the way down at the end. And of course they put her next to Bronwyn, who wears a fucking billboard everywhere she goes. so Whitney's like but that's so big that dress is so big and there are these shots going around for the reunion that

people have cut out that's just Whitney literally stuck behind this woman's dress yeah yeah and she's just looking at her dress like this try to look around the dress I think that's probably what her neighbors feel like sometimes. So I mean, honestly, if you're in the neighborhood and you look out your window and there's Whitney and Justin squirting the Hershey syrup on their master bedroom. See, Ronnie, I can get the booze too.

Can we get a Bronwyn in here stat? Just put it right here. Let's hide our eyes. So Angie is the one who wears pink. And she's like, from a bench warming bitch to the first chair up, I'm free. Also the best part is that like Andy has to pretend like everyone looks great. He's like, hey, you're looking really good. That looks amazing.

Whoa, is that just upholstery? It looks wonderful. Hi, hi, hi. He does this high. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,

hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi fuck does that mean? Andy, Andy, Andy, we're in Salt Lake City. Yeah, I know. He said Phoenix. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new

year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me? Well on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives. And honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it.

And then there's my chat with the incredible DaVinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely gonna hit different. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your wellbeing, check

out New Year New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. UFO lands in Suffolk and that's official, said the News of the World. But what really happened across two nights in December 1980, when US servicemen saw mysterious lights in the forest near RAF Woodbridge and claimed to have had a close encounter with an actual craft? Encounters, a new podcast available exclusively on Wondery Plus, takes a deep dive into one of the most famous and still unresolved UFO encounters to ever take place in the UK. Featuring shocking testimony from first-hand

witnesses, hosts, journalist, podcaster and UFO researcher Andy McGillin, that's me, and producer Elle Scott take us back to the nights in question and examine all of the evidence and conflicting theories about what was encountered in the middle of a snowy Suffolk forest 40 years ago. Are we alone? Encounters is a podcast which is going to find out. Listen to Encounters exclusively and ad free on Wondry+. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or in Apple podcasts. To avoid a repeat of Mexico, I want to point out, Chuck, we are recording you all right now. I wish point Meredith lunged over her shoulder, that is inappropriate, Andy Cohen.

I have a toddler at home. Hey, Meredith, congratulations on being a bot mitzvah. You're the first bot mitzvah I've ever seen ride on a sleigh. Thank you. I did a ride on a sleigh, is that really true? Oh, Heather, congratulations on the new book. It's called Good Time Girl. Are you giving Lisa credit for coming up with the title of that book?

I love that movie. Ben Affleck was so good in it. That's Gone Girl, a totally different movie with me. I don't think she can hear everything over Brahman's dress. Well, I'm not going to give her a cut, Andy, but I did give her a mention. You exploited my vagina. Okay, by the way Heather, what happened to your voice? Oh yeah, she's like, hey Andy. She's pulling a Carol Radzolal. She's like, it's been so difficult here.

I've been doing a book tour, Andy. It's been a marathon book tour. So how was your flight Lisa? I'm assuming you didn't fly 17C. Thanks Sandy. Yeah there was like no coach but like I'm tagged in pictures every single day of people either in like 17C or like in first class, so, yeah. She gets all sorts of DMs.

She's probably got people DMing her from bicycles, like fuck you, you rich bitch, some of us are on bicycles. Style Lisa Barlow, Vesos this bitch. Literally Leann Locken is the one doing that. It's all Leann Locken. I was raising the carny and I'm gonna die on a bike. Suck it. I'm a carny kid.

Play games with me, you're gonna play. That's still the best opening line of all time. I will never forget when we first saw that, I was like, what the fuck is happening? I was like, hey Whitney, love your bling today. Are you wearing prison jewelry? No, these were not made by prisoners. This was made here by free people.

Prison. That is so stupid. I love that, that Whitney's just got a company called Prison. We help you self-actualize. This is from my new collection, Sacred Cross of... Blah, blah, blah. You have a jewelry collection called Sacred Cross in Utah.

Whitney, give it up. Fuck off. Beautiful Bronwyn, welcome to your first reunion. You're as understated as ever. And she's like... I mean, did you expect anything different? No? No? You expected this? You like this? Yes?

Yeah, actually, there was a lookbook, there was a vision board, and I actually think I followed it. Unlike you, Andy, you're not wearing red. So I think before you come for me, I think you should actually look at yourself a little bit, but that's fine if you don't want to. You don't have to. It's your choice. You can be a friend to yourself or a friend to me, but you don't have to be a friend to anyone else. And that's fine. That's fine. Todd and I are totally great. Mm-hmm. mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Oh. So I hear that Rihanna followed you and DM'd you on Instagram. She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm gonna channel Rihanna today. No, you're not, just stop. Just stop it. He's like, actually I was talking to the craft service

person, congrats on the Rihanna shout out. She just loves the show. Really? Okay. Mary Cosby, boy, it's a whole new Mary, zip lining her way through the season. Unbelievable. You showed up to work. You talk to people.

Give this woman an Emmy, am I right? I was surprised she wasn't just like lingering in the back of the set, just trying to get in looking like, how do I get into the reunion? Spoking up behind the couch every once in a while. She's like, clocked in. Clocked in, Andy.

Clocked in. So, well, we're so touched seeing your powerful journey with Robert, and we'll get into that in a bit. And guess what? Coming up, guys, I'm going to cry. It's going to be great. One quick question, though, about Robert. Does he have new boobs?

No, Andy. No. That's a shame. That's a shame. What is this, his fifth season? I mean, the guy needs some boobs. Anybody else? New boobs? Haven't talked about the boobs?

Bronwyn? Not new boobs? Maybe a new face? Kind of like it. Very subtle. Very subtle. Nice work. Nice work. She did get good. Usually you shouldn't do that

between the season and the reunion. You gotta wait. But I guess you can't really wait, right? Cause then they start shooting right after the re- When can you fucking get your fillers? Like when can you get your fillers? Now I'm actually mad for these women. They can just count when.

Listen, as Vicky Gunnbillson taught us, you just dive in and do it when you wanna do it because there's no way to avoid it coming up on camera. Yikes. Remember her candles? The camera showed up a couple of times, so she's like. Tamara just does it on the show. She does it at the reunion.

She spends half the reunion on a surgical bed. She's like, Andy, hold on one second. I'm going under, bitch. That's her glam team. They're just like, all right, hold on. Just putting it back in again. What size is this time, bitch? And so, Angie Kay, I hear through the grapevine that you and Britney showed up in the same dress

tonight. So it was the battle of the dress. By the way, I mean, poor NGK, she gets to be middle snowflake. She gets to be first seat only to find out she wore the same dress as Brittany. She tries to play it off. She's like, well, it is different for me because I actually buy my dress and I do not return them. So it's like, hasn't Brittany taken enough?

Let Brittany shop at Marshall's. Jesus Christ. People are horrible to Brittany. So she recorded you. Who cares? I do the same thing. Make sure your asses weren't lying on me. After I thought about it, I was like, that's the smartest way to do this.

Record these people. Okay, so Lisa and Angie, I'm between you two, so I'm a little worried for my ears, okay? So the other thing is both of you have a little bit of a hard time getting your attention. Ha ha ha. So I'm wondering, is there a safe word that we could come up with that would just help you snap right on back? Bezos!

Bezos. Bezos is my safe word. It's so delicious. Bezos is a delicious safe word, Andy. Uh, opa, opa, opa is my... Did this feel like the worst episode of Family Feud to you? We asked one, we asked 100 people what their safe words are.

Bezos. Eh. Survey says zero fucking people said that. It's also the most awkward safe word ever. It's like, that's supposed to be stop, but it means kisses. It's like, kisses, kisses. I don't know why they didn't stop.

I just kept telling them kisses. So Andy's like, so when anyone in the group like to set an intention for the, shut the fuck up, Buddha. Set your intentions. There's some old man up there getting ready to have a bunch of rubber faced ladies fight for no reason. Get out of here with your fucking, here's my intention. I wanna see people pulling fillers and implants

out of each other's faces, that's my intention. I would like to set an intention actually, Andy. My intention is for this plane to make its way into the hangar so my toddler has a full supper tonight. Stop it, Mom. Yeah, Mom, that's so embarrassing. That's so old. Plan planes use like fossil fuel.

Is anyone coming into this wanting to specifically clear up a relationship or do you have a goal in mind so I can help you finish the, cross the finish line? Yeah, actually, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Obviously it's my first season, you're welcome. And, you know, watching, uh, actually, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Uh, obviously, it's my first season. You're welcome.

And, um, you know, watching things back, I have a lot of things that I would... You know, now that I know, like, more things, I'm gonna smile in that way that says, like, I'm really actually fucking angry at all of you, and I expect an apology from each and every single one of you, including you, Mr. Cameraman. Anyway, now that I've seen things, you know, I expect some apologies, and, like, maybe I'll give an apology back, but... Or maybe I'll just invite everyone who does apologize to me to a vacation, everyone, the rest of you guys

can sit here and rot in hell. I don't know. I would love to look at like a body language expert, just read Bronwyn because it's, she's really fascinating to me. The nodding thing, like we know what that is, right? Like you agree, yes. But then she does this thing today where she's sitting like very prim and proper and she's got her head turned one way and then she just starts leaning over. Did you notice

she's just like, Oh yeah, well, that's when she's really, here's what I would like. Yeah. I would love to set an intention about all of us apologizing. Yes. Yes. We all just start apologizing to you. Are you on a boat? And you're like the only person on below deck sailing right now. Sit your ass up. I like her because it always seems like you're, like when I watch Brahmin,

I feel like I've been called in by HR. Like, okay, so there've been some complaints about your jokes. I know you think they're funny. They're actually not very funny at all. Good. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm gonna get fired from watching this TV show. I'm not accusing you of anything It's just that there are staples missing and you're closest to the staples

So do you have anything to say about that you do so you're confessing right now. He confessed he confessed. I'm I'm I know some people say it was Jared who took the stapler, but we know was you So Bronwyn does all this BS about apologies and stuff, and it just cuts to Lisa Barlow being like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. It's like, is JLo here?

Is there a wind machine going? What's happening? Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. She's flying away. Get her. Wait. I would love to do the invention.

So I would love to be able to have a conversation with Lisa. And I'd like to get to the bottom of the thing. And I just want to, like, you know, hill. So yeah. Blink blink blink blink blink blink. Lisa I can't get a word in with your blinking. Okay we're gonna get there. All right so what do Lisa and Angie's parenting, the podcast interview with Whitney

and Heather's loyalty all have in common? They need better writers. what the fuck is that Yeah, what was that? What kind of opening is that sir? That was that was clunky what do Lisa and Angie's parenting a podcast interview with Whitney and Heather's loyalty all have it My head hurts like Columbo Someone calling Kathy Bates so Hello. Hello.

Someone call him Kathy Bates. So he's like, well, they all caused epic drama that ricocheted through those mountains of Salt Lake City, unleashing an avalanche of chaos that threatened to bury old friendships and almost make Maley have a scene. So we see a flashback of the season. We see Angie telling Heather that Whitney did a podcast

and we heard it. And this podcast, Whitney's like, yeah, there's a villain on the season, Lisa Barlow. And they're like, oh, Whitney doesn't like Lisa? And then Lisa's like, did you tell Whitney about our conversation? You both vented plenty, oh ba. It's not about vented,

it's about you telling our conversation. And then we get a classic, we cut to like the, one of like the Milwaukee dinners in a cave things, where Angie is like, I love when Angie stands at a table, cause she does it so slowly. She's like, now hold on.

I am not going to do whatever you tell me to. And then she like, and then she always leans forward and puts her finger all the way back and is like, now you hold on right there. It's like going to the Hall of Presidents. And I like that Angie like throws things like she tries to do, like classic housewife stuff, but she's just always throwing stupid things.

She's just like, I am mad. Why would you throw a small closed water bottle at somebody? Remember she threw like a delicate napkin at Meredith's bottom as far as she's like, oh, pa. So yeah, Angie's like, I am not doing what you tell me. And Lisa's like, oh, yeah, well, why don't you just call Elektra? Because isn't that what you do when you want to get out of something? You're like, hold on, let me call Elektra.

And then they were like, she talks about my daughter. Not Elektra. I love this sound. Call Elektra. How dare you? If I hang up, it's because I'm a responsible parent making moosaka. So then we cut to Angie telling Heather about it in bed.

And she's like, my daughter needs me because I am a present mother. I don't let my daughter sit and fucking game until two in the morning. And Heather is like, hey, I'm a present mother. I don't let my daughter sit and fucking game until two in the morning. And Heather is like, oh my God, let me tell you what happened, Lisa. Here's what Angie said. Oh my God.

She said your son, wait, Lisa, you have a son, right? Yeah. Lisa. Yeah. She said you're a bad parent. I'm literally like fucking, like freaking out right now. Yeah. And all your son does is game. That is like so fucked up.

Like, like, like, cause like last night, when I was trying to go to sleep over the sounds of call of duty, I was like, I was like, what would happen if there was a real war here in Salt Lake City? So that's so fucked up. Basically child abuse is what she's accusing you of. Ah, it's a low blow.

So then we go to Meredith gossiping with Heather and she's like, well, I just wanted to tell you, because I'm not friends with Whitney right now, but I still want her to know that the streets are saying that her business are selling things off of Olly. Grr. I'm sorry, what was that? She's selling things off of Olly. Grr. She has an alibi?

Grr. I'm not following, but whatever, I'll gossip about it anyway. Oh my god, it's like someone's out to get Whitney. Just the Glee on Heather's face. Someone's out to get her. Hi. Hello. Hi. This is Whitney Rose of Prism. You're a blogger, right? Who blogged? What's a blog and what did this? Is that like an electrical version of a log?

Is that a big log? I was just hinting around with her and I said does this person have a liquor brand? And they said yes. And that's who's the spy who's selling all the stories about Alibaba. Oh my god. No one knows what you're talking about blogger. I can't believe Kendall Jenner is the one who leaked the story. Commercials, here comes one right now. Welcome to The Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some pics,

talk some s***, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's gonna work, okay? We're gonna run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense. No offense, Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need

to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Iyuk, T Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus, on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery+, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then we see the party where Whitney goes to Lisa and she's like, you told, you told a blogger about my jewelry and you said it's not from prison it's from Ali Barber. I'm like, huh? Okay you know what you're like always doing this to me that's not true it's not true okay hey okay hold on one second Sean Sean okay I need an investigation opened on this okay I'm being accused of doing something I did not do and I want to go the distance on this. Go the distance!

Go the distance! Go the distance! Go the distance! Go Sean! Sean! The distance, Sean! So we come back. Okay, well, I'd like to get through this.

So I just want to see if we can hear each other, all right? And if we can break through. So Wynn from Dex says, Whitney, how do you explain Ali having the same photos as the PRISM website? First of all, I don't know what's on Alcatraz's website. Second of all, OK, there's a very logical and simple explanation. That photo was there for 48 hours as a placeholder that was sent in from our vendor, and it's not from Allah, Baba. And we always do a photo shoot, but then we

don't like to use the photos. And then we use the photos, but only 48 hours after, because business. So anyway, it was the 48 hours, and then we're like, wait a second, what's the investigation? Did someone get murdered? And they're like, no, not that 48 hours. And I said, oh, should we put a photo up?

And they said, what? And I said, I know. And they said, what are you talking about? I was like, I don't know, what are you talking about? So that's why. What are you talking about? So that's why. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But your placeholder picture was a picture from Alibaba that was the exact same jewelry that you're selling on your Prism website, right? Literally made no sense. I just want to get like a little conductor thing and just tap Andy on the head like ding, ding, ding, ding.

Did you listen to that shit, sir? Are you with us right now? Andy is just, when he's not responding, he's just like, must remember this to gossip about this with John Hill later. Damn it. I love in reunions where you can see Andy in his happy place. He's just at a Grateful Dead concert

doing that dance we've all seen on the internet where he's like... -♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, line because our biggest complaint was that people want to buy my jewelry but they think it's disgusting so I curated fashion pieces that like we tie in an intention Andy I got it there's an intention to the jewelry we tie an intention to it your intention is tied to some cheap shit on Alibaba so so, uh, so then Lisa, nobody understands what she's saying. And Lisa just goes, I went 100% got at, I got at 100. That was her way of saying, I'm bored. Let's move forward with this fight. Well, Crystal from Geyser says, Lisa,

the rumor about Whitney white labeling products from Aliblly wasn't widely known and it was reported on by one blogger that is not true sir that was reported on by Dana Pam from her podcast the Dana Pam podcast Dana Wilkes podcast right wasn't I where sure that's a huge news media outlet. I know. Put some respect on Dana Wilkie, please. 25,000, right? 25,000. I was on a movie special.

Everybody watches that. Who else here remembers watching that Erika Jayne special that Dana was on? And how, remember, do you remember how it opened? We just saw like an empty seat, and then the first person who sits down is Daniel stop and I was like finally journalism is back the hard-hitting journalism is back so why bring it up on the show to discredit Whitney's business okay first of all first of all Andy

okay there was a bunch of articles coming out. I didn't do it, okay? And I defended you. And I even had a conversation with Meredith where I said, you know what? I'm really sorry for Whitney, you know? And I hope she doesn't have to go to the poll because you know what? Metal gets really cold where we live.

I'm the, okay, I'm a caring person. Huh! Wait. If you plant a story and if you bring it to camera, your intention was to get it... Wait, can we start from the top? Flying... I didn't bring it to camera. Meredith acting like someone's confronting her.

It wasn't me. I'm very- Here we go again with everybody coming after me. You're like, I don't know, I'm not giving that respect by anybody. Does anybody here give me respect? Oh, what, I was throwing up now? Whoa, wow. As someone who's been eavesdropped on

and bogged in her house, I'm not just gonna have conversations about Alibaba anywhere unless I know it's safe. Um, it was already out there by the guy. Uh, the sign was like, excuse me, wait, wait, so some random blogger said, excuse you, that is Up and Atom, sir, how dare you? Yeah. bloggers that excuse you that is up and Adam sir how dare you yeah Nobel Peace Prize winning up an item so some random bloggers saying something about and then the millions of viewers that this show has is that's totally different girl I read the Rob Bravo ratings Twitter

where'd you get that number from? I hope it's true. I hope they're coming from somewhere because I'm reading like 400,000 and I'm like, oh hell no, this country better get it shit together or I'm moving to Canada. Wait, so yeah, so then Lisa's like, well it was gonna be like a thing regardless, so just so you know, I like really defended you, Whitney.

I was like, look, she a thing regardless. So just so you know, I like really defended you, Whitney. I was like, look, she's dumb. She's a slut. No one likes her. I literally threw out her free jewelry in Milwaukee and Milwaukee sent it back. Milwaukee. But she's my friend. And if she wants to put something up there from Alibaba,

so be it. Oh! Well, what I did was when I heard the rumor, I brought it up so that you could hear it, which is more respect than I've ever been given. There's a rumor about me. I'd just like to point out there was more respect than I got on my bot man spot.

So? Yeah, well, you stood behind the bar, and then you told Heather, I feel so bad about Whitney because there's problems with her business. I did! You're welcome! Ha ha ha! But Meredith, you didn't bring it to Whitney,

you brought it to Heather. Well, because I was barely speaking to Whitney at the time. Wait a minute. So my problem is- Wait a minute. So that's how you stay on your moral high ground? You say it behind my back and then that makes you on your moral high ground? They don't have a moral high ground.

Do do do do do do do do. You figured it out, Whitney, you did it. All right, all right. So Carol from Potato Peeler says, it's a beautiful town, I have vacation there. Carol says, Why? Why?

We're not gonna shade a lovely town. We're actually casting right now, but the real asswav's a potato peeler, so keep an eye out. Lisa, you told your cybersecurity team to go the distance on this. What evidence were they able to find that proves you were not involved

in planting the story? Well, here's the thing. I lost my mind when she accused me of doing something that I didn't do. And so, you know what? I feel like she told other people, Ande, and we have proof of that. And it's like the same situation. Um, excuse me. I'm sorry. I hate to interrupt you, Lisa,

but I have trademarked the word proof as well as timeline and screenshot. So I'm going to request that you use different verbiage. Thank you. Yeah, well, I lost my mind. And Ande's like, so so did they find evidence? Wait, hold on. Listen Andy. I'm getting to it Wait, did they find evidence? Yes or no? Wait, I told her go show me the proof. Sorry. Give me the right Here's a dollar just John come throw dollars at Heather's head and tell him about this monologue. Okay I thought we burned it and she kept saying she had proof dollar She said I had proof and you know what I said, let's get Sean involved. You know what? I thought we burned this. And she kept saying she had proof, dollar. She said I had proof. And you know what? I said, let's get Sean involved.

You know what I mean? He's basically a taco crunch supreme, but he's really good at finding IP addresses. So, you know, give me the emails, we'll get the IP address, but then guess what? Whitney never gave me the IP address. Please leave my husband Sean out of this. Now you are saying my husband has sex with IPs?

I don't know where all this talk came from about doing research and whatnot, but all I know is that my mean, every time I see Sean, I'm like, stop protesting. At this point, you've at least thought about it because we've been calling you gay for five years or whatever, four years. At this point, you've had to at least be like, I wonder what it would be like if I like packed my Louis Vuitton and went to somebody else's house, some other guy's house.

I volunteer as tribute. Yeah. Consider me a sample tracer. Well you know what, Whitney, she never gave me proof. She didn't have it because you know what, she didn't find, I didn't do it. I did not leak the story to the bloggers. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I don't have anyone's phone number. So Whitney is like, but your bestie does. Meredith. You could get the number from Meredith.

And Meredith's like, ah! What? Oh! Oh! Meredith does this thing, this whole reunion where like her shoulder is pinned to her chin.

Like she gets mad and she's just like Well, whenever she's like come Meredith is so good with coming up with like a lawyerly excuse It's like well, I wasn't talking behind your back I was just in a proximity of a region that if you turn a certain way would be behind your back Which is a totally different thing and that's just what I was doing And the moment she looks down and puts her hand out like she's serving hors d'oeuvres, you know, she's lying in a certain way would be behind your back, which is a totally different thing, and that's just what I was doing. And the moment she looks down and puts her hand out like she's serving hors d'oeuvres, you know she's lying.

God bless her, she's my favorite. Angie, over the shoulder from Boulder Holder, says, Heather betrayed your trust when she told Lisa your video game comment. Why do you think Heather prioritizes her friendship with Lisa over her friendship with you? And does that make you question your friendship with Heather? And Angie's like, you know, I think that Heather loves me. She lifts me up all the time.

Right Heather? I do. I do do that. I do. I do do that, I do, I do. You know what, we come here tonight as a group of girls who've been through trauma, who've been through so many things. I am going to point at this table until you believe me, because we have been through it all.

We've been in the trenches, we've been in the war. Oppo, Oppo, that's the opposite of opa, it means please be quiet. Normally I like Heather, but I feel like she twisted my words and you sit against me. I do not like that. Well, I didn't ever say she was a bad mom.

I said it was out of character for Angie and there has been a shift. Well, it is a bad mom though. You were calling me a bad mom. I mean, what are you, you're calling me a bad mom because you say that I let my child play video games all night. Oh Jesus, and we're all fucking bad, okay? Everybody, what else are you gonna do?

I mean, turn off the, turn off the pornhub and put them in front of a video game. You know, it's better than jerking off all night. It's better than killing people. There are worse things to do than playing a video game. You know what? It keeps your children off the streets. So that's right. As the village, I say, thank you.

Keep those fuckers inside. Have you been to a mall lately? There's been a shift in Angie's loyalty and affection for Lisa, and I've never seen her go low like that. I've never seen it, but I've read certain things like that in my new book, Good Time Girl, available now at all bookstores and kiosks. Well, it hurt you, and then you felt differently about me because Heather wanted to be loyal to you, and that was who you chose, and then you chose her all year.

I do not. No, that's ridiculous. Angie, Angie, Angie, Angie, Angie, Angie, Angie, Angie, Angie. You know what? I have had it. You are not. You are a great fleet that is unrolled. You are basically just rice, occasionally meat, with no great fleet around it yet. You are getting cold. No one wants to roll you. Everyone's talking at once. Just stop. Stop. Taylor and Taylor Armstrong enough.

Mary's like, she needs some you. We need more Mary in this reunion, by the way. I would like to say So he's like it has to be a back-and-forth Tennis isn't just you hitting each other with rackets hit the ball So well, I know but they were talking and I'm like, hey just you know, I gave you a pass Okay Like I literally gave you a pass like I talked to you all the time on the phone and I was like that's a fucking shitty thing

to say and I did tell Bronwyn but I also said you know what I'm gonna dress it with Angie you know I don't want anyone going to Angie with this like that was the big deal I love you Bronwyn. Yeah yeah yeah uh-huh but you said it made me cry and I'm really upset you You did say that, Lisa. You did say that. I did hear that. Unless I get an apology for something, I don't know. Maybe you spilled a yogurt somewhere.

I would like an apology for that. I'm not gonna be happy. No, no. Yeah, but I told you not to bring it up with anyone. And then you went and you brought it up. You brought it up, Bronwyn. And Bronwyn's like, I mean, she should know if you're upset with her, right?

Right? Bronwyn, do you want to be involved? Oh, good. She's piping up. Bronwyn's piping up. Oh, good. Ah. Oh, you know what?

If you want to get big with me, Lisa, let's get big. Let's get big. I can go there. I can go there, Lisa. I can get real big, Lisa. You want to see it? Hold on. This is me being big. Mm-hmm

I don't but like whatever So Brahmins like okay, well here's what happened I sat down at Bezos and you were furious with Angie remembered Lisa furious furious head popping off throwing forks Do you remember do you remember when you stabbed the waiter in the balls with a fork? You did that. She did that. She admitted it. She admitted it. So, you know, you were furious with Angie for repeating a conversation to Whitney, yet you have repeated a conversation and you've repeated that conversation to me. So what is the standard here? What is the standard? What is it? I wasn't able to

follow any of that, but I asked you not to re- whatever it was that you just said, I said don't say it to Angie. And Brahman's like, you didn't, you didn't. You said I'm really upset and I should dress this with her. You did say that, Lisa. You did. No, I said I'll handle it with Angie and I'll speak to her myself. No, you didn't. You're agreeing with me, right? Lisa, she's agreeing with me. She never said that, Angie. I'm agreeing now. I can't help it. Okay, close.

I'm getting seasick, so I have to nod with her so it doesn't look like she's nodding. So then we see a flashback where they're getting foot massages and Lisa tells her what Angie said and she's like, you know what? Oh, Lisa goes, I want to dress it with Angie. I want to do it. You know, because I was really upset. Bram was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Remember all that stuff you're going to claim that you said right now in six months? You didn't say that right now. Am I right, Lisa?

Am I right, Lisa? Am I right? I'm like, wow, she's good. She really knows how to plant a seed, that one. So then Heather's like, I mean, Angie, I know you, and I know your relationship with Lisa. And it felt like a shift. And I was trying to just navigate this new loyalty

and deep appreciation that I had with navigation and loyalties and a shift and a navigation. That's all I was trying to do. And I think in the end, you just had a different navigation to a new shift and that's all. I love Heather's whole like, I have worked so hard to be friends with Lisa Barlow. And now look at us, sisters, friends,

not lovers, but we could be. Yeah. And I will not stand for anybody saying anything about Lisa Barlow who possibly swallowed gallons of jizz to get jazz tickets that time. Oh, oh. I'm all in favor of like resetting the clock, but. Oh.

Shifting loyalties, Heather. So this is, by the way, these are the sort of quotes I love on Salt Lake City. So Andy says, hey, Lisa and Angie, where do you guys stand today? It seemed like you guys got back on track. And Angie goes, we did at the aquarium. Of course.

And then I totally forgot that scene, where they were having a heart to heart, and a giant whale shark came by. I was like, hello? There's a blowfish behind them like, their lips are fucking huge. Their faces don't move at all. A Jensha Ray comes over and is like, what about me? What about me?

What about me? What about me? What about me? Well, uh, uh, uh, sorry. I saw an A. I was like, well. And if you have seen the finale, then things blew up. And I kind of wanted to wait until I was here to have this conversation. Cause you know, I think sometimes when things are done

by text or on the phone, you know, people can have a different perception. Record the shit. I'm telling you, that's what Brittany was trying to teach us. Okay. Brittany was a prophet before her time. Nobody really understood Brittany. This was actually such a smart move by Angie K. Because what always happens is that if someone has a really good point, like you were a fucking bitch to me all last year and I'm mad about it, then what the person always responds with is, well then why didn't you send me a text?

They always do that. And so she just gets ahead of it and said, I actually didn't even want to talk to you guys until right now because I wanted to have witnesses. I was like, very good play, Angie Kay. Very smart. Well done. And it's not said that much, you know.

Yeah. And I appreciate that golf map for Angie Kay. Angie Kay, you've done some smart stuff tonight. But now my favorite ancillary character is introduced to the stage. Let's please welcome the bitchiest housewife of all time, Sassone Medea. Sassone Medea.

Sassone Medea. Sassone Medea. She comes out in a dress bigger than Bronwyn's with just kind of like a Twitter hat. And so Andy's like, you said on your phone via Twitter that Leese has a Park City mystery man who pays for her lip filler. Wow. Wow. I mean, it's sad when you make John Jansen look like Mr. Moneybags. That shit is hilarious.

John Jansen's like, how do I find Lisa Barlow? I paid for a whole facelift, not lip filler. So Sir Charmedier reads the tweet. My lips are full as my life, thanks to my doctor, who I pay with my own Amex card, not a Park City Mystery Man's. Unlike Lisa G's wagon, or Lisa's G-Wagon, and my lips can't get repoed. I'm not your bestie in prison, so I'm not interested in a gangbang, but it's cute that

you two had to team up. Night." For the record, just because you wear prison jewelry does not mean that you're involved in a gangbang well I fired back because Meredith was posting first that I was a backup dancer to Jen Shaw I am no backup dancer oh yes I forgot about this art this is the most important argument of the evening is Angie Kay, a backup dancer. So you think you can beat her? So... No, no, no, no.

I know what the question was, Andy. Lisa, you are inserting yourself. Hold on, because I want to go here, but I want to start here. But wait, I think it would help if I explain. No, you cannot explain, because I do not understand what was even going on, but I could explain it to you. Do not explain, I want to understand,

but I don't understand. Excuse me, Meredith Marks, attorney at large is ready to explain this very rational situation of why Angie Kay was called a backup dancer. Now listen carefully, I will lay it out in plain English. You did a WAP video with Jen and Monica and you and Monica were backup dancers. Case closed. Or should I say WAP closed? But Angie's just like, but um well but you started it with your interview. That's when you started, that's why I was sending you those tweets and she just like, but, um, well, but you started it with your interview. That's when you started. That's why I was sending you those tweets.

And she's like, no, they asked me in an interview what my reaction to your scroll was. And I said, no, you said I should go back to being a backup dancer. I should go back to being a backup dancer. Well, I said I like you better when you're a backup dancer in your world famous WAP video. That's it. A backup dancer? Well, let me tell you something. I have been solo since I was six.

And I am nobody's backup dancer. Like, wait a minute. And I am nobody's backup dancer. Like wait a minute. She's been doing WAP videos since she was six? Utah acts like it's so innocent, but their girl like clapping their asses in the fifth grade, you know? Can we hear also, by the way way we know clearly when Meredith saw that video She was like oh look at this festive dance video, and you know that Brooks and Chloe were like mom

It's called a WAP video It's a video about a cat that was left outside when it started raining. I like it. It's a WAP mother So started raining. I like it. It's a WAP, mother. So Andy still doesn't get it at all. She's like, I am solo. I am no one's backup dancer. And Meredith is like, oh, this is the problem, that you were a backup dancer in a video, and I said it. When I saw Monster in Law 1, I said,

I like Jennifer Lopez better as a backup dancer too. She didn't blow my phone up and call me a bitch. I am not a monster in law. I also like Angie goes, I don't even know how to dance. I'm like, wait. We know, we saw the video. She's like, I've been doing that. I'm a solo dancer since I was six,

but I have no idea how to dance. Like and subscribe. Well, Angie I have no idea how to dance. Like and subscribe. Well, Angie is trying to make it this thing. She's trying to kind of victim cloak about her mom and be like, how dare you? I haven't had a mother since I was a, or whatever she's doing, but it doesn't make sense.

She just doesn't understand the argument is about a wet ass pussy video. So she's like, that was for the husbands, just to understand what the fuck we're talking about. Let me explain the behind the video of this video. So, one day we decided to make like a fun video and we said, hey, how about this time, let's have the lead dancer in the back,

but she stood the lead dancer, so there you go. Was I dancing in Jen's video, were you not a backup dancer? Does Jen have a music video? One day we decided to make like a fun girl's video. Was it like a TikTok video? Yeah it was TikTok. So why are you offended by TikTok? She called me a backup dancer.

It was a starring role on a 10 second video on a map that almost got banned. It's a fantasy! She goes, it's been all over the internet. Everyone's been talking about it in 2025. Everyone's like 2025 is the year that we're always going to be talking about Angie being in a WOMP video. Okay, so this is where the tweet started and I responded and I just said something hilarious like Greeks are great dancers and yogurts.

And that is how I danced my way to the center. Oppa! Even though I don't know how to dance. The key word, just so everyone understands why I am furious, is oppa. Because then Lisa piped in and said Mazel Tov. I was like, so now you're mad that she brought a Yiddish term into a Greek tweet?

Is that what the fight turned into? Well, because the thing is that apparently Meredith had responded something, the topic of scroll came up and then Meredith said, like, reminds me of the Torah scroll at my bar mitzvah. At least it's like, ah, Mazel Tov. I know, but Angie doesn't understand that yet. So Angie's mad because she made a tweet that said Opa,

and then someone responded Mazel Tov, and she got offended that she said Mazel Tov to her Opa. What the fuck are you talking about, Angie? She, to this day, Angie can't listen to Black Eyed Peas, I'll tell you that much. It's... What is that? Think about it, people.

What's that song? Mazel Tov. Na na na na na na. It's coming back to me. It should have been opa. It should have been opa. I've written so many letters to Fergie. He he he he he he he he.

He he he he he he he. What? Mahai. Mahai, yes. And Lehiim also has one. Yes, Lehiim's in there too. So I said Mazel Tov because I am also Jewish and she said that there was a scroll and Angie, I'm dead serious right now. She said the only scroll I read is Torah and I thought that was amazing because I'm kind of Jewish most of the time mostly kind of I mean I've seen Fiddler on the road I love Seinfeld now I as a Jew as a Jew I have to say I feel like I should be offended that Lisa only claims Judaism in order to exonerate her mazel tov moment but actually I love it I'm like do it

happy at least she's always been kind of Jewish. I know, but like her identity is like, I'm like Mormon 2.0. But then all of a sudden out of nowhere she's like, I'm also Jewish today by the way. I'm very Jewish. Joseph Smith and a bagel in case anybody wants to... Interfaith date. Yes. So Angie's like, so she goes, yeah, so I said Mazel Tov because that was an amazing

Jewish joke amongst the Jewish kind of girls, right, Meredith? And Andy's like, you did not. You didn't see that she was responding to me because you are not on Twitter and you don't know what's going on. Lisa, you are the queen of Twitter, give me a breakup. Well, you also said on Twitter that Lisa's G-Wagon was repossessed. Oh yeah, really? Because there's like a new Porsche Cayenne Paprika sitting in the driveway right now, that's like 2025, and it's next to like an Allura,

an Allura, um, times, an Allura times 2027. So like, why would I need to get rid of my G Wagon? Wait, I thought it was called G Wagon. So wait, why did you know about her car being repoed? And then she's like, I heard it at dinner. I literally heard the car going down the street in a tow truck. Oh, okay. You heard it at dinner. Oh, okay.

And Heather goes, well, you told me that Bronwyn told you that. And she goes, yeah, Bronwyn told me at dinner. It's all coming together. The truth always comes out where the G-Wagon comes from. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, you know, you and I were not in a good place, and somebody sent me a snarky message. She always says that.

I was just being snarky, and I said jokingly to Angie, somebody sent me this. Her G-Wagon's been repossessed, she has no money. She's also a fucking bitch in a cut fitness. Not in a good place at the time. I feel really bad about it, I do, I do. Yeah. But I'm not the one who tweeted it to the world.

And so your beef is with Angie right now. I'm gonna go ahead and back out. We are gonna have to dock you pay for a week though because of this infraction, yeah. Bronwyn's starting another little fire and moving to the back. So Andy's like, well, by the way, speaking of money, none of you have it.

Ha ha! So talk to me about one of the most lavish gifts we've ever seen on The Housewives, that four million dollar net. Girl, I've read more about God damn diamonds in the past few days than I ever have in my life. Can I tell you? I've been following this $4 million necklace shit

all over the internet. It's amazing. That necklace is a terrorist, I'm telling you right now. I've been reading so much about it. It's so good, it's my favorite storyline for now. All right, let's get into the necklace. This is why we need affordable prism jewelry. Four prismers, five prismers. So, $4 million necklace.

I kind of thought you were gonna wear the necklace to the reunion, Bronwyn, and she's like, mm, mm-hmm, mmwyn, and she's like, mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I thought about that, but I thought it would clear up a lot of questions. Yeah, so I was going to do that. In a second, I would've.

I mean, I totally should've. It's the caller. You know, I have a caller right now, so couldn't do it, but I would've. Totally would've. I would love to clear up questions. What questions? What questions?

What are was talking about Well well Whether or not I have it and I can wear it right right that would clear that right up with me if I was wearing The necklace would not clear right up. I was like what did fucking Mickey Mouse start taking over the role of Ron way And he's like well, why are there questions about whether or not you have it? Andy's just like coaxing this out. Like Bronwyn's like, well, you know, a lot of people tweeted at me. A lot of people texted me.

A lot of people messaged me. She's like one of those like carnival rides that starts off like small, then goes all the way around. It's going to flip. So Heather's like. Ugh, ugh, it's gonna flip. So Heather's like questioning what? Like it was rented or what? I'll just put that out there. No, no, no, no, no, so here's what happened.

Okay, so I went to their vault and I picked out a few pieces and they brought stuff to me. Okay, everybody got that? Just making sure you're all very stupid. So I wanna get this across. And then I ended up with, well, you didn't see the earrings, but, well, not the studs, but I ended up with a pair of hoop earrings, and then they made me a smaller version

of that necklace that I tried on that day. So that's what happened with that. Heather goes, I don't get it. I mean, what? She tried on earrings and said, can I get the smaller version? Heather's like, I'm not following Because she's so full of shit cuz Bronwyn changes her story every time she tells this it's like

And this is a thing it's housewives And so we all I don't know I guess like we have our favorites or whatever so we make excuses It's like the whole Brent and I'm sorry to bring Brent up But it did just happen this week, but the whole Brent thing Brent has been lying the whole time she's been on this damn show and now suddenly this week is like oh my god Brent's a liar! Well yeah you dumbasses what have you fucking been watching I mean do they have to spell it out for you? So that's what happened on here and Bronwyn's getting caught and it is so good for people who have been calling her a liar

all year. It was like our Christmas. I was like, yes, Santa, take it off. It's also kind of like, you know, it's like a coming of age on this show. Like you're not a true housewife of Salt Lake City unless you've lied about some jewelry, you know, that may or may not have gone missing in an airport somewhere. That's true. And it's also a thing where they make you on these shows, you know, in Bromwell's defense. It is something where they make you pretend you're so wealthy. I mean, they all rent these huge houses.

They all have this fake borrowed jewelry. They're all borrowing dresses for the reunion. But now they're like, we're going to get this bitch on a rented necklace. Let's get her. Let's bring her down. I don't know. So my hot take was she basically said, like, yeah, there

was this, you guys saw this big four million dollar necklace and I got the smaller cheap one because that one was for TV But I got something I didn't get the same thing and they are not gonna have it on this They well you're right that that's you got that because that's literally what she just said So you got what she just said, but it was a lie It's bullshit so she's like, yep. So I took the smaller necklace. Everybody happy now? Did you all get that?

You want me to write it down? So Heather's like, no, I don't get it. She says, you don't get what? So why were people questioning you about it? She's like, well, I think because people felt like, why would Todd buy such an expensive necklace? And why would we do it on camera? You know that sort of thing.

You know, poor people. Poor people talking amongst each other. And Heather. Or a bunch of French flags, people piled on top of junk. Revolutionary war. Someone was arrested for stealing a loaf of bread. And then Heather is all too happy to say, oh, well, I wasn't there, so I didn't see it.

So Lisa goes, Emma, wait, hold on one second. Can I talk about Emma? Yeah. So Emma, no relationship to Sean. He's going all the way, going the distance right now. Emma says you didn't buy it. Yeah, because I'm friends with Emma. Yeah, yeah.

And she says you guys didn't buy it. Yeah. Or the hoop ear rings. Yeah. Or the rings. Or the necklace. Yeah. Emma says nothing was purchased. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know Emma

So then we get we get a don't don't don't it's a commercial break, right? So then we come back from commercial break and they replay all of that again, but they add horror music to it I was dying. I love this show so much So she's like I'm a sad that you didn't buy I'm friends with Emma. Don't don't don't don't don dun dun. She says you guys didn't buy it. Waaaaaah! Waaaaaah! So, um,

she's like, yeah, I'm friends with Emma. She says you didn't buy it. Or the hoop earrings, or the rings, or the necklace. And yeah, she said nothing was purchased. And Bronwyn just goes, Well, And Bronwyn just goes, Well? Emma and I are going to have to take that up with each other. We're going to have to take that up with each other then.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And Whitney goes, But why did you ask Lisa? She's like, I didn't ask. Oh, oh, you're telling me that she just reached out to you? She just reached out to you out of the blue to tell you about a necklace and some earrings? She just reached out to you out of the blue to tell you about a necklace and some earrings? She just reached out to you out of the blue, Lisa, really. Yeah, well, I am here to defend Lisa Barlow,

my sister, my friend. We've been in the trenches together. And she said, Emma said, that you didn't purchase a thing. Oh, Lisa, please, she did not call you. Oh, you know what, how would I know that she was working with Emma Verne? And so now they're like, fuck Emma, she's so unprofessional.

This isn't a shrink, this is not HIPAA. You don't get to call, you don't get to get on Emma's ass. If I were Emma I would have been pissed too, because as we've said before, Emma drove two to three hours. Is that Emma? Yes. That was Emma, the pissed off lady? Yes, Emma drove in traffic on the 10,

and to anyone who's driven to Palm Springs from Los Angeles on a Friday afternoon, only to show some bitch a necklace. I didn't realize. You're gonna be a little salty about it. I didn't realize that that lady was actually the Emma, the angry lady who drove up there with the necklace because she got him nodding like Bronwyn.

Well, maybe it was Emma from below deck sailing. That lady hated Bronwyn. Do you remember when she showed up and she was like, trying the fucking necklace, there it is, put it on your neck, you fucking goose neck bitch. Like she just looks so mad. And this is why she's mad because she's had to give Bronwyn all this shit for free for all these years

and Bronwyn doesn't buy anything. So she's like, fuck Bronwyn, you know? I'm a team worker. I was a waiter for years. And if you think I didn't call Lauren Bacala a goddamn bitch when she left, I'm sorry, but I did. I didn't actually. No, no.

I like her. Now Kathy Baker on the other hand. Kathy Baker, I did, yeah, here multiple times. She didn't really deserve No, no. I loved, I liked her. Now Kathy Baker on the other hand. Kathy Baker, I did, yeah, here multiple times. She didn't really deserve that, but who cares? What a bitch. Seriously, I'm kidding. Love you, Kathy Baker. Kathy Baker's at home like,

just motherfucker, just let it go. To the three people in the audience who know who Kathy Baker is, we see you. To all the picket fences stands out there. Picket fences, show. Okay, what are we talking about? Okay, so the point is that like Lisa's like, I'm just saying what Emma said.

And Bram was like, well, I don't think that she would call you. And then all of a sudden Mary, she's like, I would never shop with her if that's what she does. Yeah, and then she goes, yeah, that is bad business. And Lisa's like, well, she said nothing was purchased and you've never purchased anything from them. Wait a minute, so to set the record straight,

you didn't get the $4 million, you got a smaller thing. She goes, yep, smaller cast weight. Yeah, smaller carrot weight. Literally carrots, I just got carrots. I got a bag of carrots and put it around my neck. Wait, said it, sure, I just want to be sure. You got that from Emma, you got that from them. She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

It's inscribed on the back. It says, love you, Emma. So I sure did. I sure did. And Lisa goes, well, she said you didn't. And Bronwyn just goes. OK, like you see her trying to figure it out, you know? So Angie, they're trying to go against Emma now.

So Angie's like, why would this owner reach out to you to tell you that Bronwyn didn't buy the necklace? Okay, well first of all, Emma's not the owner. She's just a disgruntled employee. Yeah. It's like, yeah, yeah, Emma's not the owner. She just like worked there or probably worked there once this airs.

And she's not ever loaned me jewelry, right? Sorry, Emma. That's what Emma said, she never loaned me jewelry. Correct, thank you, Emma. Thank you for your testimony, thank you. So Angie's like, so she just called to say, hi, Lisa, by the way, Bronwyn didn't buy anything. And Lisa's like, yes, that's exactly how it happened.

No, she just texted me out of the blue saying why does Bronwyn keep on saying that they bought the necklace that they never bought the necklace? Which by the way, I don't believe that Emma just texted. I do. If I was watching this show and I saw this, I would text Lisa immediately and be like, why is this bitch pretending she bought this necklace?

She did not buy this necklace. I work for this store. You go on that fucking show and call her out. Don't tell them I said it though. Do not tell them that I said it. You know, I'm just like, I'm not losing my job at this place. Do not tell them. Lisa's like, Emma dadat, Emma dadat.

I know. Emma hates all of them. I'm telling you, when she showed up at that house, I mean, if she was such good friends with Lisa, she didn't show it because she just looked at all the people and was like, fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, and fuck her. Yeah. So Bronwyn's like, so Andrew goes, do you know her? And Bronwyn goes, well, no, Lisa, I think said, well, I haven't talked to her in probably like two years, but yeah, I know her. And Andy's like, okay, well, Lisa, show me the text.

So Lisa goes, well, she said more than that too. And he goes, OK, show it to me. So she hands the phone over, and Andy's like, OK. Hold on. She's saying the hoops that you had on were poops that you told men you were sending a fire for, but you never sent a wire and returned the poops. And you said Todd didn't like them. Oh, I returned them?

I returned them now? Oh wow, this is so dastardly of her. And Andy is like the next two minutes, he's just like on Lisa's phone. I'm like, there are no nudes of John Barlow on there. We can give it back. I mean, why would she be messaging you out of the blue? She goes, because I know her.

You know her. You know what? I know her and I knew her way before I knew you. Ooh. And she was really frustrated with you. She was frustrated. She was just really frustrated with you. She's frustrated. And Bronwyn's like, so she was frustrated with me?

Is that what you're trying to... Yeah, she was frustrated. She was so frustrated. Well, I what you're trying to say? Yeah, she was frustrated. She was so frustrated. Well, I guess that next time that I see you, I'm gonna just have to wear those earrings, right? Please do. I'm gonna have to. Please do. Yeah, she's just, okay, so then you can, she's like, okay, so I'll wear them.

And then Andy's kind of finishing up. He's like, why is there so much talk about pooping fires? And Lisa's like, did you read them? And he just goes, yeah. Not great, not looking. I wanna read those texts. You know those were five pages of Emma being like, that fucking woman.

Yeah, Browen, she's feeling a little burned by you. And Browen's like, oh, she feels burned by me, okay. And why does she feel like that's between you and her? I would like to know about that. You know what, actually, I'm not gonna bring you into it. That's between Emma and I, and that's not between you and her. So, okay, I will, I'll be back on this one.

Yeah, well, you know what? Don't bring me into it. You can address her. But she said it. She goes, well, you know what? Like you went home and posted your fashion receipts, your fashion show receipts. I'm gonna have to go and post my jewelry.

And she goes, yep. Okay, so did you see the watch what happens where Bronwyn went on? Do you guys see it? Normally we don't always watch that, you know, but of course, guess where I saw the clips? In the news, Reddit. And Bronwyn's ass.

Okay, so Andy's like, so what about that necklace? And she goes, you know, Andy, it's just, we saw the necklace, we liked it, and we were thinking about buying it, but you know, it's just such a hard climate for people right now, Andy, economically, and we just thought that's so inappropriate. So, you know, we just decided not to,

you fucking liar, bro. You fucking liar. I loved that. And he's just like, oh, it's like, mm-hmm. Oh, mm-hmm. A little diamond just popped out of Andy's butthole by the end of that. He was just squeezing so hard.

It's like, mm-hmm, that's what I've always said, right? Right, Andy? Right? And that brings us to the end of Real House on Salt Lake City. Of the reunion. We love you guys. Thank you so much for coming out and helping us kick off the tour. Thank you, San Francisco.

We love you. Thank you guys! Welcome to the ball, everybody say my name. Welcome to the ball, and insane. Everywhere I go, people holler every day. I raise my hands up and holler back, Hey, Batch! Hey, Batch! Hey, Batch! If you don't know me, you're welcome to blow me.

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